#i caved and looked up my seinfeld spoilers

[msburgundy]

she was so real for this

[simplyadorkable-blog1]

Season 6, Episode 12 - “The Cubicle”

Jess goes to extremes to get the money to pay Robby’s medical bill; Cece get discouraged when her modeling agency’s first client decides to change career paths.

Everyone calm the hell down, Robby is back for this episode! Thank goodness, I missed that crazy kook! Robby and Jess should date until the day until she marries Nick. This episode opens with the gang sitting at the dining room table/Cece’s home office celebrating her first client. Raisin and Robby are weirdly at the head of the table. Schmidt presents Cece with “a cubicle, swinging balls, an outgoing mailbox, and a cartoon that is very derogatory towards Mondays.” In case you were wondering, it is a functional mailbox. Otherwise it would just be a box. Sadly, it’s not a post office. The gifts continue with Winston’s guaranteed crowd pleaser, a bull button to which everyone on screen and at home hysterically laugh at. Nick gives her broken headphones and Jess gives her a filing cabinet where Furguson is hiding to make fluffies, aka smelly cat farts.

Jess and Robby’s relationship begins to hit a roadblock when Jess insists on paying for Robby’s medical bills—we are treated with a graphic flashback of the blood pouring out of Robby’s shattered face. I’m still shook. Robby tries to explain away the need for her to pay saying, “It’s a baby bill, it’s so small and cute, like my nephew, Baby Bill.” No wonder Robby is Schmidt’s second best friend, he’s hilarious! Then Jess and Robby take turns pickpocketing the bill from each other and any explaining I attempt will not do their comedic timing justice.

Back in the dining room/Cece’s home office, Winston and Nick are squabbling over the lack of arm space, fam. Schmidt segues the conversation into a plea for everyone to find Cece’s first client, Donovan, a modeling job like Winston did at the police station. Nick suggests that Donovan portray Gator, Pepperwood’s best friend and clairvoyant brother, on The Pepperwood Chronicles cover, drawing attention to the fact that Raisin hasn’t read it yet. Schmidt offers her his copy with the more sexual parts highlighted, he’s not ashamed. Raisin spends the majority of the episode trying to get out of reading it, she’s clearly not as interested as everyone else is. Boo hiss, Raisin! Jess interrupts the conversation announcing that Robby didn’t give her the full bill because he thinks she doesn’t have the money. “Taking a limo to the bank, what is she, a cartoon cat?” Schmidt closes the scene and brings the cat cartoon references up to two.

Cece’s storyline is touched on again with Donovan at Winston’s precinct photoshoot where Schmidt names her agency “Cece’s Boys: Where the Men Are Boys and the Boys Are Cece’s.” I guess we’re okay with that because we quickly return to Jess entering Robby’s house where he is laying down a stanky B-line on his bass. Jess confronts Robby, Robby mistakenly tells Jess how to get information out of him (spoiler: just repeatedly ask him, he’ll eventually crack), and Robby admits the full bill is $200,000. Then he plays out the awkward situation with the Seinfeld jingle.

Nick and Raisin continue to prove to us they can’t communicate without Jess’ help and we get a tease of Nick’s book. “I don’t!” believe that their relationship will last much longer. Jess ends up recruiting the almost lawyer and sort of doctor to find a way to bring the medical bills down.

At the bar, Schmidt informs Cece and Winston that he rewrote his company’s Estrofuel ad for Donovan to star in. He’ll put the “men back in menopause” because that’s what every middle-aged woman wants. Unfortunately Donovan enters to announce that he’s quitting Cece’s Boys to become a police officer and retrieve Winston for his tour. Good thing Winston is really bad at giving tours.

Meanwhile in the cubicle, Robby explains that his bill is so high because he needed a private room, “I dream about concerts that I really enjoy going to, so it's just a lot of me clapping and singing along.” Nick shows Jess, Robby, and Raisin his weird drawing of Jess kissing Robby, “In my drawing I don’t see any signage, was there are signage?” Nick’s question sparks the idea to sue the gym. Robby tries to calm her down by offering to go for a mall walk, but quickly caves and goes with the flow. He calls his gal for legal advice since Nick legally can’t practice law. While he’s on the phone, Cece and Schmidt enter and explain their situation. Schmidt almost immediately gets a call from his boss Kimberly, “Hello, Kimberly, your voice sounds like your skin looks amazing.” Which is also the way I answer my phone.

Since everyone is otherwise occupied Jess tries to shake off Nick and Raisin, but they can’t face their own problems so they insist on sticking around. Winston enters to admit that he ended up making Donovan even more excited to be a cop by winning COW (Cop of the Week) while they were at the precinct—“Celebrate good times, moo moo!” Schmidt begrudgingly congratulates him then immediately damns him in the same breath.

Robby gets off the phone with his lawyer and explains that they don’t have a case because he signed a waiver, but he should sue Jess. Following the awkward silence, Raisin finally wants to read Nick’s book, Winston claims Schmidt and Cece need him, and Furguson leaps from the filing cabinet and scurries off, leaving a trail of smelly cat farts behind him.

We return to Robby and Jess arguing over the potential lawsuit. Jess insists that Robby sue her and Robby just wants to go to the mall for the big sale at the Japanese cereal store. Then their argument evolves into the fact that Robby thinks Jess is perfect. This is very reminiscent of his relationship with Cece when he called her nice. Oh how the turntables… Robby makes one last ditch effort to hash it over at Hash It Over in the mall food court.

Nick leaves Raisin in his room to read and comes upon their argument only to agree that Jess messes things up all the time (“You know it, baby”) and awkwardly retreats back into his room to find Raisin fast asleep. Nick is dismayed and returns to the cubicle to drink himself numb.

Things are not going well at Associated Strategies where Kimberly is giving Schmidt a hard time for Donovan not being ready. Winston calls out, “I am changing, I am Donovan,” from inside Schmidt’s office. Schmidt plays off that Cece is a professional as if Kimberly doesn’t know that she’s his wife and she’s met her many times. Cece jumps in to explain that her client will be there and the delay is only on her, not Schmidt. Kimberly leaves to scream into a toilet and Cece tells Schmidt that she can manage her clients on her own. Winston exits Schmidt’s office, “Man, that was tense. Also, Schmidt, I printed something, do you know where it went?” What did he print? Where did it go?

Cece leaves an inspiring voicemail for Donovan in the hopes that he’ll show up and then we are shifted back to Jess and Robby in the loft. Jess is still trying to convince Robby to sue her and kicks him out. After he leaves we skip to Jess and Nick sitting in the cubicle drinking. Nick questions his book and Jess defends it explaining that Robby wrote fanfiction for it. That means the world to Nick and also to me, “He loves it so much.” Nick uses this to tell Jess that Robby is too good for her and everyone else. Preach it, Nick. Jess opens a can of worms by asking what’s wrong with her. Nick tells her, “When things are going good, you get scared and you look for reasons to doubt it.” Jess asks if that’s what happened to them and Nick says he can’t even begin to understand what happened with them. Once again, preach it, Nick. Then Jess pops our bubble and reminds us about how Nick is finally letting himself be vulnerable with Raisin. In turn Nick asks if he wasn’t that with Jess. She responds, “We were just kids… You had a box and I wanted you to get a bank account.” “Well it’s kind of the same thing. You wanted to live on a lake and I wanted to live on Mars.” Jess corrects that he wanted to be a truck driver on Mars and we all laughed/sobbed at our screens. The pair toast to getting older and wiser and hopefully a little bit better. They finally decide to face their relationships but not before having intense eye contact and so much sexual tension that I lost all coherent thought.

In a panic Schmidt tries to tell Kimberly that Winston is Donovan back at Associated Strategies. “That’s Winston. I know these people, Schmidt. I’ve met them and their pictures are everywhere.” They are everywhere! Schmidt has a slideshow collage of them on his computer. Most people use a photo of the beach or an open field, but that works too. The trio come to the realization that this isn’t going to work out when suddenly Donovan arrives to save the day, having been convinced by Cece’s leadership.

Jess and Robby’s argument culminates at Robby’s house where he is sadly playing his bass in a new windbreaker—he went to the mall for some retail therapy. Jess apologizes for looking for things to go wrong and Robby apologizes for acting more like a superfan than a boyfriend and admits it was half her fault for hurting him. But he’s going to pay for the medical bills because he’s rich. Finally satisfied, Robby sweeps Jess off her feet in a romantic gesture. Jess asks, “Are you wearing perfume?” “I hugged a limo driver.”

Raisin and Nick simultaneously wrap up their issue when Raisin finally admits she doesn’t like fiction. It’s clear that their only actual problem is communication. Nick understands and they make up and kiss. He offers to read his book out loud in a New Orleans accent, “Julius Pepperwood loved three things in his life: his gumbo, his sex, and more of that sweet gumbo. Her legs were as long as a deep—” Wait, isn’t the girl in his book Jessica Night? Never forget!

The episode ends in Schmidt and Cece’s unfinished house. Schmidt shows Cece the home office he had finished for her including the framed shirtless photo of himself from when he and Coach were trying to prove who was the better male model. Schmidt announces that he’s the “OGCB for life!” Cece laughs and insists on working right away without interruption. Schmidt agrees and exits to call off the rest of the gang and the mariachi band in the living area. Let’s also never forget that Robby wrote a Cece’s Boys theme song for the band. Sadly, we never got to hear it before Schmidt scattered them.

Originally Aired 1/10/2017