#i cant post the chap yet but i desperately want attention for my good stuff like i look at this and im like oh i cooked

[crunchycrystals]

i can't post chapter 2 yet for (all i ever do is) take the fall BUT there is one scene that i've had since the beginning that i think is one of the best things i've ever written so here it is under the cut

The air was mostly still, the night sky all laid out in front of them thick with what should’ve been sleep but was replaced with jet lag. They had arrived in Germany the day before, and they were barely able to get 4 hours of sleep when said jet lag forced them out of bed. Normally Percy was good at avoiding jet lag, but it was his first international shoot with Annabeth and he'd immediately disregarded his techniques to hang out with her. At least they were suffering together.

Instead of fighting it, Annabeth scouted a beach where they could hang out for the two months they were there, while Percy rented a pickup truck so they could sit in the back. He could feel exactly her knee bumped into his under the small blanket she miraculously had in her bag. He didn’t necessarily need it, but once she spread it over their laps, Percy couldn’t imagine saying no. 

“How many constellations do you think we’re looking at right now?” she asked maybe 10 minutes after they got there, eyes trained on the sky. 

“How many can you see?”

She scanned the stars. “I see Orion’s belt and that one looks like one of the dippers, but that’s it. You?”

“I think I see about six right now.”

“Damn. Your eyesight can’t be that good.”

“I just know a lot of constellations.” 

“Okay, that’s cool. Your mom?”

“Yeah. We could never really see them in New York because of the light pollution but she still told me the stories behind them. There was one boarding school I went to that was pretty far from the city, and one time she came over and we got to actually see some of them together. After that, I got used to looking for them whenever I couldn’t fall asleep.”

He could hear the soft splash of the waves gently layering on top of each other before reaching the shore and collapsing, starting the cycle all over again.

“I love constellations,” Annabeth said. “You look at them and remember how long humans have been telling stories and how universal it is. Ancient Greeks saw the same little dots we’re looking at right now and we still classify birth years with Chinese zodiacs. We’ve always looked up to the sky and seen heroes and monsters—we’ve always been creating explanations for the things we can never truly understand like seasons or volcanoes and stuff.”

“I guess we’re all kind of terrified of the things we don’t know, so we’ll do anything to cope with this place. Even on a smaller scale we’re like that about other humans. Like, there are people who assume shit about you that isn’t true.” 

“That’s the dream.”

“The dream is assuming shit?”

“No—I mean, what you said is why I went into this industry. Because I want to make something that helps people cope with the things too big for our tiny brains to comprehend. Even on that smaller scale.” 

“Something permanent.”

“Yeah. As permanent as the stars.”

Percy stopped to think for a second. “I wonder if that’s why my mom named my sister Estelle, she loves names with significance like that. You two think the same way.” 

“I’ve got to meet her.”

“I think she’d really like you.” She smiled. 

“Speaking of names," Annabeth said, "do you ever think about how weird it is that your life aligns so well with Perseus'? I don't think a name can really influence someone's life like that and it's a really big coincidence.”

“I guess… sometimes. Like, it wasn't hard to relate to a guy with a missing dad and a mom doing her best to protect him.” He didn't say the last parental parallel, but they both knew the Perseus-es stories well enough that he didn't need to.

“It was nice to have that connection though,” Percy continued. “I could see this guy with a life even worse than mine and I could pretend that I was him, killing monsters and stuff.”

“And imagine that you could have the happy ending he does one day.”

“Not really.”

She turned her gaze towards him for the first time since they settled in. “Seriously? Sorry, that came out wrong. I just mean, like, you've never thought, ‘Hey! He’s like me so maybe I could be like him one day,’ or something?”

He thought for a bit. “I don’t think so. I think it was more like, ‘I know my life can’t be like his, but I can pretend like it is before I have to go back to reality.’ Not really an aspirational thing.”

She stayed quiet for a moment before saying, “I wish I had known you earlier. I wish we had met at camp.”

“I think we would’ve tried to kill each other.” She exhaled lightly, one of her quieter laughs as he had learned. 

“Probably. I would’ve gotten over it though.”

“Are you sure? I was kind of a shitty kid.” 

“Can’t have been too bad if that kid got you here.” Percy chose not to correct her as she returned to staring straight up at the sky. “Can you see the Perseus constellation right now?”

“Yeah, it’s around there. That’s supposed to be Medusa’s head—and that part on top’s his sword. Andromeda’s right there too.” She shifted her head again, this time to be closer to his as he pointed out the different parts of the constellation.

“I like that they’ll always be up there together," Annabeth whispered. "Andromeda’s with the one person who never betrayed her and protected her when no one else did, and Perseus gets to protect the entire galaxy like he did for his partner and mom.” She paused. “I think you’ll have that one day. I know that you see his story as something separate from reality, but I think it’s an extension of our world. If they can survive all of that shit like gorgons or almost being sacrificed to a sea monster, then we can survive all of this normal shit.”

Percy looked over to his left and their eyes locked as he realized she was already looking at him. Her irises seemed to glow with the light of the moon and stars above them, reflecting the constellations back at him. Something warm glowed in his chest that slowly spread throughout the rest of his body.

“I like that,” he breathed.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Her lips pulled up and he felt his do the same. “I think you’ll have that one day too. Not just the Perseus stuff, I think you’ll create a story as universal as constellations are.”

Her eyes shone a little more brightly. “Thanks.” 

“Any time.” 

[johnnyscancerstick]

Chap. 9

Warnings: feels, death, cursing.

Characters: Dallas Winston, Johnny Cade, Ponyboy Curtis, and a few random doctors and policemen.

Notes: @watermelon-chapstick , this is what I was talking about. I should let y'all know it takes a lot to make me cry. Teared up while writing this, and I think that means it's good enough to post. Lol, I'm well aware this was meant to be a shitpost, but I don't care. I wanted to write something feelsy and you damn know well I did and tried my best. I might make more of these in the future if people like this. Or, if people want more. I decided to post it on my own, not just a repost. I still put a lot of time into it, and I wanted it on my blog on it's own! This extra note is the only thing that's different — I didn't change anything else.

Word count: 1903

As quickly as it had started, it was over. Had this really happened? Or is it some fucking fever dream because of all the painkillers those hospital people had given me? No, it couldn't be. Dreams can't simulate this kind of stuff, we just beat the Socs!

‘I can't beleive they were gonna do this without me,’ that's not the only reason I wanted to do this, that's not the only reason I threatened to stab a bitch. Multiple. It was the only one I wanted to beleive but I know it's not.

I look down at Ponyboy, who was bleeding like hell and the rest of him looked even worse. He couldn't have been used to fighting solo, clearly. I shook my head, not going to ignore the situation any longer. I could miss my chance if I did that. I bent down and grabbed his collar, turning and yanking him up a bit after I started on a dead run. “Come on!” I couldn't hear myself. “We're goin' to see Johnny.”

Pony wasn't in any shape to be running but I could just remember Johnny's voice. He wanted to see everyone, but I knew there wasn't time. Ponyboy, if he could choose anyone to see it'd be him, wouldn't it? They were such good friends, and he's the one that will cooperate the most. Goddamnit, move faster! “Hurry! He was gettin' worse when I left.” don't think about that. “He wants to see you.”

I'd taken Buck's T-bird here and I didn't plan to go any slower than 110 to get back to the hospital. I got into the driver's seat and rhe second Pony was halfway in he car, I got into gear and slammed on the gas. I almost hydroplaned it across a curve and then I heard the sirins. Great, out of all the times. Think of something, Winston, think of something.

I don't even turn to the boy in the passenger's seat, but I find myself slowing down the car. “Look sick.” I say stiffly, furrowing my brows and narrowing my eyes. This could work, I don't have time for a police chase right now. “I'll say I'm taking you to the hospital, which'll be truth enough.”

The policeman said something like ‘Where's the fire.’ I wasn't paying attention. I glanced at him, I cant express how mad I was that he was slowing us down. Johnny only has so long!

“The kid.” I stayed cool, or at least I think I did, pointing at Pony. “He fell over on his motorcycle and I'm takin' him to he hospital.” Pony groaned a little, and I can't tell why.

The guy by the window looked nervous and glory, this was taking too long. “Is he real bad? Do you need an escort?” Oh, hell yeah, this could work. “How would I know if he's bar or not? I ain't no doc.” I fight a smile at how good this worked out. “Yeah, we could use an escort.”

The fuzz are really stupid, these days! “Sucker!” I hiss, he went back to his car. Now we didn't have to worry about traffic, or other cops. I don't know what I was mumbling about that entire ride there, I know I was talking about Johnny.

Once we were at the hospital I slammed the door shut and ‘helped’ Pony out of the car, but the second that police officer left, we were gone down that hallway. I heard yelling but I didn't even acknowlage them, I couldn't think of anything but Johnny, to the point where I let Pony's wrist go and I know he fell far behind. I didn't have time for an elevator, I raced up the stairs and almost clipped a wall a few times.

It felt like an eternity but I finally got to Johnny's room and I was going to break down the door if it wouldn't open. “I'm sorry, boys, but he's dying.” just those words sent horrible aches in my heart and I felt my chest tighten.

No, no, no. This isn't happening, he's not dying, he's not! Johnny can't die, he can't, this can't be happening. I take out Two's switch, whipping my head toward the doctor and jabbing it in his face. I didn't flick it open until I opened my mouth and started talking. “We gotta see him.” I said, my tone scared me even more than I already was, I hadn't heard myself like ths in a long time. I cleared my throat, furrowing my brows. I tried to be intimidating, I'd never had trouble with this before but now I was all trembly and it was visible, I could barely keep my hand still. “We're gonna see him and if you give me any static, you'll end up on your own operatin' table.” I sneer, I tried my best to keep my voice down.

This dude didn't even bat an eye, the little... Oh how I wanted to tell him off, I wanted to tell him just how much I needed to get into that room.

But he took me by surprise. “You can see him, but it's because you're his friends, not because of that knife.” I wasn't going to press, he was letting me in and for once I didn't want to fight. I put the switch back in my pocket and pushed the door open, I ran only for a few seconds before I swore something stopped me. I stumbled forward and made sure I didn't fall, and I could see Pony walk into the room out of the corner of my eye.

Johnny was white and looked still, I couldn't tell if he was breathing or not and I felt tears well up in my eyes. I gritted my teeth and shut them tight, it's not the end! Johnny isn't dead, he's not! He's just.. He's just asleep, he'll wake up any minute now. I took a few steps forward and wiped the sweat off my lips, “Johnnycake..?” my voice was low and hoarse, and I couldn't see even though it opened my eyes. I could barely hear anything else, everything else was shut off and didn't exist at that moment. Nothing was real, this wasn't what was going on. This really can't be happening.

Johnny didn't respond and I had to say something else. I had to prompt him again, this isn't how this ends. “Johnny...” I felt the hope drain from my whole body, but that little bit came up again when he moved. “hey..” his voice, god, that tore through my soul harder than anything else had.

I walked toward him after glancing at the Christopher around my neck, “We won.” I was out of breath and it was hard to get it back, I couldn't comprehend this and I just wanted to get him to say something. “We beat the Socs. We stomped them—chased them outa our territory.” I said, I was desperate at this point. Johnny's eyes were barely open and I couldn't tell if he could see the tears welling. I bit my lip as he just gave an unsatisfied hum, “Useless...” he croaked, “Fighting's no good...” he was so white, and I felt panic rising within me again.

No, he's dying and this isn't going to be the last thing I say to him! I gotta tell him something, something that'll make him smile, I've been keeping so much in about him all this time, how hard would it be to tell him now? When I literally have no other chance..!

I licked my lips and tried to find my voice through all the emotion, “They're still writing editorials about you in the paper. For being a hero and all.” I tried to keep my voice calm, I didn't let it break, I didn't want to cry in front of him. That would make this even worse, that would make him feel awful, that would just be the worst thing I could do right now. “Yeah..” he hadn't responded yet but for the sake of my sanity I had to act as if he did, “They're calling you a hero now and heroizin' all the greasers.”

I couldn't say it, I just couldn't, it was too hard, I tried so hard but I couldn't.. Hopefully he'll get he message. “We're all proud of you, buddy...” I managed a smile, I felt hot tears run down my face. I tries to wipe them off, but they'd just look like dweat and I wasn't going to take my eyes off Johnnycakes.

He looked so happy, his eyes lit up. I let out a half sob and kept my composure, I took a deep breath and was about to day something else, but he spoke. “Ponyboy.”

I backed up. I wasn't going to take it away, I'd forgotten Pony was there. I'd forgotten anyone was there. Johnny wanted to talk to Pony, he'd already talked to me, danmit I'm so selfish.

I don't know what he said but as I stepped closer, he just...

I broke into a grin and felt more tears fall down my cheeks. I was trembling, I could barely keep myself up, I felt like the world spun around me and for some reason, I wanted to laugh.

I reached a shaky hand over and brushed his bangs off his forehead, “Never could keep that hair back.” I could hear I was under pronouncing any soft sounds and I saw everything blur around me. “That's what you get for tryin' to help people, you little punk...” reality was setting in and I found it hard to breathe. Johnny wasn't... He.... He was.. He's not.. No. He's fine, Johnny is fine, nothing happened, nothing's wrong. I took a quivering breath, the smile faltering. I tried and I tried to keep it up, I know this wasn't what was going on, I know he's... But no, no I won't believe this. This is NOT what's happening, it's not it's.. It's not... It can't be... Johnny can't be dead, oh he really can't be... “There what you get..” I couldn't get the words out, I whipped toward the wall and punched it as hard as I could.

“Damnit Johnny..” I didn't have the energy, I couldn't have screamed if I wanted to. I ground my fist and hit the wall again, grinding my teeth and trying to do anything but think of him.

Don't think of how he used to be

Don't think of what happened

Don't think of what happened to him behind closed doors

Don't think of what he did for those kids

Don't think of him not wanting to die

Don't think of him only being sixteen

Don't think of him never leaving Tulsa

Don't think of him...

“Oh, damnit, Johnny...”

Don't think of those mocha eyes and how they lit up whenever I smiled at him.

“Don't die..”

Don't think of how brave, persistent, and strong he was-

Don't think of how brave, persistent, and strong he is

“Please,”

Don't think of how he would have turned out.

Don't think of how good of a person he would have ended up being.

Don't think of all the things I could have told him

Don't think of all the things thst would have made him happy, thst would have made him smile.

“Don't die...”