#i cannot stress it enough i will kill him if he sleeps on me

[desireangel]

Infernal Desires | Part One

Aemond Targaryen x fem!Reader

Synopsis: When your family is caught up in treasonous scandal, the Prince Regent makes an offer that is impossible to refuse. To avoid what certainly would have been death by his sword, your family promises you to a man who is followed by whispers of violence and sin.

Warnings: mdni 18+! Strictly. Dark-ish ??? Aemond! Bad language, reader is implied to be from a certain family but not really, rushed & unedited. Sexual tension, allusions to sex, mentions of death and killing, Aemond gets angry handsy, hair pulling, mention of the noose bc Aemond would never tell just anyone how he feels. This is mainly a word vomit - I am once again incapable of limiting my writing to one part.

Word Count: 3.4k

A/N: aaand I’m back with a rewrite of an old fic I started last year! hopefully this is somewhat decent to follow along with - I wrote this while severely sleep deprived, stressed about procrastinating my uni work and knackered from work. Let me know if we are even interested in a part 2 or if I’ve missed any warnings!

It is a debt to be paid and an alliance to be made, that is all it is. 

Easy enough for them to say. After all, it was you who suffered from the mistakes of your family and not them. They may as well have left you to the dangers of King’s Landing with nothing more than a shattered dignity and the tears that trailed down your cheeks. 

Shit. Crying wasn’t going to do anything and while you never intend to present yourself as weak to anyone, there was nothing you could do to stop the angry tears that welled in your eyes. You wondered if your parents truly pained to see their daughter cry or if the tremble in your mother’s lip was nothing more than a pretence. 

Your father stared at the ground by your feet. “It was not meant to come to this.”

“But it did. Are you really going to barter me to–”

“We are not bartering you. Stop saying that,” He snapped. “All you will have to do is take the title as his wife and give him children. It cannot be that bad.”

The glare you sent his way was full of malice and rage. How could he say that? You were better than that, smarter than that and the thought of being reduced to who knows what that man had in store for you as his wife - they may as well have cut your tongue out and made you a slave. Knowing that your family, whom you loved endlessly, were so sure of selling you so easily to a cruel man like Aemond Targaryen caused a dull ache in your chest. 

It seemed hard to breathe through the betrayal, your chest heavy with deceit and heartbreak. Had you known what your father had been planning, you could have run away and found a way to survive without the comfort of your family lands. 

“What Prince Aemond has offered has saved us,” Jericho stood leaning lazily against the wall, arms crossed over his chest. He stared at you, his little sister who would have died before leaving him to such a fate. “I do not expect you to understand the complex relationships between our Houses but consider this, dear sister. Would you rather him have the Vale burned to ashes? Have us hung from the walls of the Red Keep? I made a mistake. I know this, and I am sorry but this is the only choice we have.”

There was a tense silence. Jericho had ruined everything with little chance of repair and it was you who had to pay the price. You knew how the Crown punished Rhaenyra’s sympathisers and Jericho had damned the future of your family. What was happening is wrong - war is never worth the price it takes. You wholeheartedly agreed with that but there was something inherently stupid about putting the people you cared about at risk just to send a raven with a conditional offer of a bent knee. 

You blinked as you tried to make sense of it all. “Explain it to me. I do not understand.”

“Aemond Targaryen is Prince Regent but I was once his only friend,” Jericho said. You knew he used the word friend strategically. “He extended an olive branch. Repent our House’s treachery through our last daughter and a pin for the Vale on King Aegon’s map. You could not understand how generous that is. Refusing would have been a sentence of death.”

Friend? Generous?  You would have laughed if you could. You briefly wondered how Jericho had managed to barter with the Prince Regent before they had taken his head. Alas, it would be of no use to ask a question you would get no answer to. The men of these walls underestimated the capabilities of a woman’s mind and a woman’s strength. 

“All he gains is something to hold over your head, brother. Paying off your mistakes with my life? You have heard the stories - he has become a cruel man. Warming his bed when he sees fit and making his heirs will not fix what you did. Many have been executed for far less.”

Your father cleared his throat. “It is our only option. We have nothing more to offer in place and a ruined reputation. The family name holds the last of our power and without what little power we have left, your brother and I would lose the Vale. It is a miracle we have not already.”

“The Prince wants to dangle you over our heads? Fine. If that is what it takes for him to spare our lives.” Jericho’s voice was so rough. It was the first time you had seen him as anything other than gentle to you and you felt a heaviness at the sight of him so distressed. 

There was not much left for you outside of the empty empire that your father’s father had built for your family. At least you still had each other and your titles, and despite the situation that they’ve forced you into, at the end of the day, you all loved each other to death. It would have been a death sentence but you could have run away instead, could have found a life for yourself somehow. But how could you live with yourself knowing that you’d damned those you love because of your pride and fear of life as a princess?

So reluctantly and tearfully, you nod your head and silently agree.

Aemond wondered whether he was making the right decision by giving Jericho a second chance. If it were anyone else, he would have had them hung without a second thought. But you and your brother were different. 

It was a moment of weakness, an inexcusable lapse in his judgment to have spared Jericho’s treason because he remembered you and to have further justified his actions by claiming the Vale through your betrothal. While it was his first and foremost motivation and Aemond was bound by duty to take advantage of the opportunity, it was not the only reason he had suggested the idea at the Small Council.

There was hardly a person in Aemond’s life whom he could call a friend. There was not a soul in this world that Aemond could truly trust, not even Jericho who had been by his side for the first parts of his childhood. 

Nor you, who had at once shown him kindness in his youth despite the mockery that was often made of him. You had only accompanied your brother and father to King’s Landing on three occasions, and what started as your soft conversation and willing smiles for him had left his memory entirely until he heard word of Jericho’s treacherous message. 

Aemond, despite your attempts at friendship, had never returned your kindness. In truth, he didn’t know how to. And quickly, your smiles had turned to frowns and your attempts at friendly talk had become sarcastic remarks and quiet scoffs.

It was also a moment of selfishness and a decision made with nothing more than foolish curiosity. You had always been there, in the back of the picture and unnoticed by everyone apart from him. There was not a person in this world who had peaked his curious desire more than you and the two of you had spent the brief occasions together bickering and pestering one another. Regardless of your initial efforts, Aemond was never your friend. While he had never actually done you wrong before now, you were never really fooled by his deceiving nonchalance and forced manners. 

The indifference that you had for each other had no cause to fade. Even less so with the recent murderous, vile stories of Aemond the Kinslayer who killed his nephew and (while most wouldn’t dare utter the words beyond certain walls) who may have crippled his own brother with Vaghar’s fire. You had almost fallen to your knees upon hearing of your betrothal to such a man.

Aemond was now twenty and three but when it came to whatever distorted plot he was planning, he felt juvenile. Your brother and your father were the perfect pawns. You were the perfect leverage - perhaps a pawn yourself. As much as he convinced himself that having you in his possession would mean he would have invaluable power over your House to do exactly as he wanted within his twisted politics while he has the power to do so, the idea of having you in the palm of his hand, in his control and eventually beneath his body was exciting. 

He was never one for meaningless entertainment. But what was the harm in indulging himself this once?

It was a formality. Being presented at King’s Landing for the first time to your future husband, his family and to those whom he currently ruled over as the woman to be his wife. 

You had changed since the last time Aemond had seen you. It had only been two years but he would never admit to his surprise at just how different you had become from the cowering young girl he remembered you to be when you were just ten and four. 

He had rushed through the formalities of greeting you and your family, welcoming you into what would come to be your home. The lunch was painfully awkward as little was said between anyone. The Dowager Queen spoke formally yet kindly with your mother and shared a few words with you but you could barely engage with her conversation under the burning gaze of the Prince Regent who sat across from you.

It was over quickly, before anyone could start bickering about the traitorous reasons behind your presence. Aemond shortly convinced his mother that no escort would be needed, so long as Ser Criston Cole was there when you both were left to acquaint yourselves in private. You gulped as you were lead shamelessly into the Prince’s chambers. 

Aemond only set a glance upon Ser Criston and the raven haired man took his place outside the closed doors.

You were sure that the Prince’s chambers were as large as an entire wing of your own home yet you felt claustrophobic under his gaze. His eye was hellfire as he silently stared at you, leaning back in his chair and resting his fingers under his chin. There was little you could do but stare back at him, anxiously tapping your foot on the marbled floor.

In your eyes, Aemond had always been torturously beautiful. But here, as his gaze fell upon you and you shared the silence of his personal space, he was ethereal. It caused your breath to catch as you waited for him to address you first.

Shakily, you broke the silence. “Why am I here, my Prince?”

“You are to be my wife,” He drawled, fingers tapping on the desk that he lazily dragged his hand along. What a stupid question. “That is why you are here.”

“I believe you know that is not what I ask, my Prince.” You scowled at him. It wasn’t smart to talk to him in such a way, you knew that. He is Prince Regent, after all. A memory of your brother’s warning to be careful flashed briefly in your mind. 

His expression deceivingly calm, Aemond considered putting you in your place. He may be behaving in a way he does not recognise of himself but he would not tolerate your disrespect. 

Instead, he somewhat answered your question. “We will be married so that your brother’s treason shall be forgiven and your House will be sworn to the King. You will stay here, in my chambers. Do whatever the seven hells you please, it does not matter.”

In any other instance, Aemond would have detested the sight of you gaping at him, stumbling over your words stupidly as your wide eyes confidently held his own. You had changed. Or maybe he had just been blind to the perfect curves of your body or the way you looked at him like he ruled the realms, so submissive yet so full of fire. So tempting. 

He’d condemn himself to the noose before ever admitting to his thoughts. 

“What?” you almost gasped. There was no chance that you could stay in his chambers like this. You were sure the whispers of the Keep were already running amok with Aemond’s insistence on isolating the two of you behind the doors to his private chambers.

Aemond took pleasure in the way you seethed. “I will not make it so easy for you to return to scheming with your treasonous family.”

You could hit him. If he weren’t a Prince, you would have. “You are keeping me prisoner? For something I have had no such hand in?”

“No,” he stood from the table and in two strides, he was in front of you. So close that you could smell the woody oils he bathed in mixing with the smell of his musk and the leather of his clothes. You shuddered. “Maybe I am. Call it what you like. You can do as you please, eat as you please, wear whatever you please, you can explore these halls as you wish. I do not care. But you will listen to me and it will all be as per my will.”

Before you could respond, Aemond continued. “For all they know, I’ve made it clear to everyone that you will stay in the chambers that I have chosen for you, on the other side of that wall.”

Aemond’s eye was a violet-blue inferno as it held yours. He was closer now and you let your eyes drag across every part of his devastating face, swallowing at his beauty and wondering what lay under the leather of his eye patch. 

Struggling not to lose your breath, not to lean in to touch him and feel him, you held your head high and turned your back to him. “Fuck you.”

A gasp fell from your lips as Aemond’s hand found the back of your head in an instant, slender fingers weaving into your hair gently before closing into a tight fist and pulling back slowly so that you were forced to look up at the roof, the back of your head resting against his chest. His other hand wrapped around your waist, holding you back firmly against him. The tightness of his grip on your hair ached and left you dizzy, an unfamiliar longing for his hands to find more of you with the same fervour had you holding back a pathetic whine. 

Suddenly, you were burning from head to toe, a fire setting on your skin as he held you roughly against him, so close that you felt the feather light tickle of his breath grazing your hair when he spoke. He was scorching you through the leather of his tunic, your dress doing little to shield you from the heat of his body.

More than his anger, Aemond’s amusement made the air heavy. The way he unashamedly let his stare fall upon your lips, tucked between your teeth as you struggled to hold your glare, had your breath snatched from your lungs. 

Aemond dropped his head enough so that his lips lingered just under your ear, close enough that you could hear him draw in a breath, dragging his nose across the dip where your jaw met your neck. Your face burned at how shamelessly he had inhaled your soft scent.

“Is that how you talk to your Prince?” Aemond’s voice was low, dripping with a dominance that commanded respect. Placing his free hand on your left shoulder, he slowly turned you to face him, making sure to keep you tightly pressed against him.

Aemond was disastrously beautiful. The curve of his nose, the strength in his jaw, the way his scar painted the top of his cheek, the soft fall of his pin straight hair and the soft shine of his lips which you so badly yearned to feel. You cursed yourself for thinking such a thing as his low voice broke you out of your distraction. “This is my home. Right now, all of Westeros is mine. You are here because I said so, because I own everything. Everything. Including you. You would do well to remember your place while you are here, pretty thing.”

The fire in your blood was rage. You had never felt such desire that had your body craving another. It was anger driving you mad, it had to be. Despite your better judgment, you whispered once again, “Fuck. You.”

His jaw ticked and with a strong yank, you were flush against him. The pounding of your heart was violent and you were sure he could feel it against his chest but you were stuck under his burning gaze. Aemond was angry. And you couldn’t help but think that it suited him. It made him all the more desirable. 

Aemond was strong and hard against your body, tense as he held you so intimately yet so roughly. 

By the gods, you couldn’t even think. What was happening? 

“My Pr-”

“Quiet,” Aemond commanded. His deep voice, raspy with lust and with rage sent shockwaves down your spine. “What a mouth on you, my Lady. Fuck me, is that so?”

You muttered incoherently under your breath, the desire and the fear making your eyes flutter shut as you trembled against the Prince who held you so roughly.

“Hm,” Aemond chuckled when you let out a short whimper. He squeezed you tightly, his voice low and dark. “I could have you begging on your knees, crying for my cock all day and all night and you would never deserve it. You best careful, ñuha dāria, because I can ruin you.”

Another gasp fell from your lips and Aemond took pleasure in the way you squirmed against him, thighs pressing together as you felt the flush of his words through your body. He hummed, you were so reactive. Somehow, you fit perfectly against him, so that he could feel every little tremor he caused in your body, every goosebump that he placed on your skin. His gaze never left you, his resolve solid as iron. 

Your mouth watered at the thought of the things that Aemond could do to you. Thoughts you had never imagined yourself capable of harbouring, especially not for a man like Aemond Targaryen. It overwhelmed you - he overwhelmed you. 

But all you had to do was glance at the map that was splayed over his table and the weaponry he had discarded at the foot of it before you were trying to shove him away from you. Aemond stepped away from you upon noticing the panic in your movements. You barely noticed the flash of worry that passed through his features before he so skilfully replaced his mask. 

The rise and fall of your chest was heavy and you had the sudden urge to punch the sultry smirk right off of Aemond’s face. That was not okay. Right now, you didn’t even want to think about the way your body reacted to him, they way you would have let him have his way with you right there and then despite all the consequences that would rain down upon you. 

“I will not stay in here,” You closed your eyes to avoid his stare, chest heaving as you caught your breath and reminded yourself of the formalities of Aemond’s title. And of the possible repercussions for denying him so stubbornly. “My Prince, it is not appropriate.”

You hadn’t heard him make his way across the room until you heard the door open. Aemond hesitated, his resolve was not as strong as he had thought given the way his heart was beating as if he had run a mile. The strain at his pelvis was almost painful and his hands urged to be tangled in your hair again, squeezing your hips, feeling the warmth of your skin underneath your clothing. Perhaps you weren’t wrong and Aemond returned to his hardened self at the thought of being unable to control his desires. 

“Hm,” he drawled, stoic as ever and standing tall at the doorway and gazing down at you over his shoulder with a red hot spark in his eye. Aemond’s mind raced with a million words, many in the alluring language he knew you could not understand and they all tasted dangerous on his tongue. “You are not wrong. It is not appropriate until we are wed, ñuha dāria.”

[papil0nglegs]

Friday night night funkin dating hcs!!

Warnings: Some nsfw stuff but nothing too far, boob grabbing, bra stealing, nudes but not rlly

A/n: I HAVE ANOTHER OBSESSION UGHHH, anyways!! I’m so happy the fandom is reviving bc of the new update ahh. Also I didn’t rlly know what to put for bc so apologies if you wanted more of him :(

Keith (bf):

He’s such a flower sniffer istg

He’s like a rosy cheeked sweetheart who brings you heart chocolate every time he visits you

No but actually he’s wrapped around your fingers, it’s scary.

His fav dates are you and him alone at his house watching Godzilla movies and laying his head against your stomach while you play with his hair

AND YOU WEAR HIS HAT

Sometimes you’ll send a pic of you in his boxers that he left at your house just to tease him

But whenever he feels silly (which is all the time) he’ll send a picture of him in your bra for funsies

“I can do that too :D”

“0_•”

Keith is such a nerd, playing video games with him is your go to date

You guys would always match, like whenever you two play Mario kart he’d be toad and you’d be toadette

You hype him up sm, esp when playing Fortnite 😭

Y’all know that one Tik tok audio that goes

“Yeah get his ass FUCKING PUSSY TRY THE FUCK AGAIN BITCH, TRY THE FUCK AGAIII”

You do that, and it scares him.

His fav activity? Pot + cartoons.

You guys are the silliest couples ever. Laughing at SpongeBob with fog all over the room until your ribs start to hurt.

“Babes.. do you think that like-Starfires armpits are also pink?”

“…woah”

Pico:

Now when pico first starting dating you he thought you were just another chick to stuff his wiener in.

But soon enough, you guys were both wrapped around each others finger.

He’d kill for you tbh

Pico canonically has abs, so he likes it whenever he’s chilling with you and you just poke/rub them. He thinks it’s the cutest AND hottest shit ever

This man cannot get enough of your boobies, whenever he’s on his phone he’d have his arm around you and casually use your boob as a stress ball.

Sometimes he’ll just steal your bras whenever you’re showering or changing, just so that he can get a fresh look at ‘his girls’ (that’s what he calls them)

“Pico!! Have you seen my bra?”

“Hm? Na babe, I’m js here.”

This sly fuckin ginger

Most of his dates consist of going to his fav burger joint or sleeping over at each others houses

He esp loves the second one cuz he gets to makeout with you, prob his fav thing to do in this life.

Whenever you guys leave any function, like ever, he’ll yell out your ship name as he leaves the room 😭

“Pi-y/n, OUT”

“Babe you don’t have to do that every time we leave..”

Also his dad (Tankmen) loves embarrassing him in front of you.

(Tankmen) “Yeah so Pico kept pissing himself in the bed until 7th grade, shit had me concerned but turns out it was just normal puberty shit.”

(You)“Oh..”

“Dad I’m gonna kill you.”

Lmao he did eventually

Darnell

Darnell has such a big ego on being a ‘cool tough guy’, but when it comes to you it entirely washes away

It embarrasses him whenever he’s around his friends and you come over and start smooching him all over his face, getting lipgloss/lipstick all over him

“Mwah mwah mwah!!”

“B-baby. Babe, you’re ruining my aura.”

But he loves showing you off, you’re like his biggest flex. Whenever he hangs with his friends he always shows pictures of you like you’re his newborn

“Yeah so this is when we went to the skate park the other week and-“

“Dude. This is like the 5th picture you’ve shown me of them.”

Once for Valentine’s Day, he surprised you by spray painting an entire wall of you smooching him. (But like in the style of the fnf stickers they sell)

You were in such awe, you almost cried.

He was so embarrassed to show you at first, but when he saw how much you loved it he was so relieved

You and Nene are such besties

Like, squealing while talking about boys besties

“HII Y/N!!! :33”

“OMG HEY NENE!! ^^”

So when she found out you had a crush on Darnell, she was so excited

You guys became delusional abt him together, like

“NENE TODAY DARNELL LOOKED AT ME”

“STOPP HE WANTS YOU SO BADD”

“IKR”

O and your weapon (cuz everyone in picos friendgroup has one) is a broken glass bottle of whatever your fav drink is

Sometimes you’ll throw in a burning rag in there to make a Molotov cocktail

Also I hc that Darnell has thick silver rings and you love how they feel against your neck whenever you guys are smooching.

He lets you wear them at times but they always slip off because our boy has some THICK fingers.

[regencyrosalie]

Could you write some Anthony bridgerton x wife reader angst with a happy ending

i love a happy ending. thank u for the req! here’s husband!anthony and his four braincells fighting for his life

To say Anthony has been stressed would be an understatement. The sheer amount of paperwork he’s had to do within the past week would put any regular man into an early grave. Not to mention that Hyacinth has attracted enough suitors since her debut to keep him busy and on edge every time there’s calling hours.

His wife has been trying her best to help, even organizing his papers when he’s busy, to which he would thank her profusely. She’s also been busy with the social season, arranging dinners and parties and visits to the modiste.

They never fight. (At least not since they got engaged). Which was why Anthony was so out of his element when he accidentally snapped at her one evening.

“Dear, would you like me to bring you a cup-“ she opened the door to the study, clad in her night-things.

“Could you spare me your rambling for once in your life?” he chastised, trying to add costs on paper with his exhausted mind.

She just stared at him for a moment, and he tensed, before backpedaling.

“Darling, I did not-“

But she had already left, and shut the door behind her, teary eyed and angry. He had never spoken to her in such a way, especially when all she was trying to do was assist him and bring him tea.

Anthony followed her out instantly, “My love,” he called desperately, but the hallway was empty, and she was nowhere to be seen. He raced down the corridor to their bedchamber, but it was empty. It did not even register until then that she may be in her own bedchamber.

And that she was, she was sat on her bed, weeping silently. She secretly prayed that he would find her, and muster up a tolerable apology because she could not bear to sleep without him. The sheets she was perched on had very likely not been changed since before she arrived at Bridgerton house, as she never spent more than five minutes in her own room each week. Much to her dismay, and the dismay of her pride, she was spiraling at his words. For how long had he believed her to be rambling? Was her presence so bothersome?

There was a knock on the door, like an answer from the divine.

“My love, are you there?” Anthony’s voice cut through the mahogany door.

“No,” she called back, trying to stop her voice from shaking. She wanted him to know she was there, but also to prove a point. Mostly to watch him suffer.

There was a sigh of relief as he found her, and he tried the door handle, to no avail.

“Please, darling. I am dreadfully sorry. I did not mean it. I was foolish. Please do not shut me out,” he pleaded from the other side of the door.

She did not make any reply, but she stood from the bed, crossing her arms over her chest, as if she knew she would be opening the door soon.

“My love,” he called, trying the door again “please. I love you. I cannot go through the night without you, you know I cannot. I will beg, if that is what you wish. I cannot be parted from you.”

She debated for a moment, and stayed silent, pacing around the room.

“What are you doing?” he practically whined through the door.

“Sparing you.”

He groaned. “No, love, please. That is the last thing I want. I did not mean it. You must know I did not. I have just been so busy, it has taken a toll on me. I did not mean to say such things to you, dearest. You know I do not feel so.”

That soothed her slightly, and she stopped in front of the door.

He heard her get closer, and he continued his begging. “Please, my love. I do not wish for you to spare me from anything except your contempt. I relish in your conversation, I crave it. Do not do this to me. I cannot bear it. I need you desperately. You know I do. I adore you. I adore everything you do, everything you are. I love you so dearly I feel as if it may kill me at times. And it very well might if you do not open this door.”

A smile tugged at her lips as he pleaded with her, and she wiped her eyes before unlocking the door and pulling it open.

Anthony looked a mess, his cravat was half-tied, his hair was disheveled, as he had probably been running his hands through it incessantly, and his eyes were glassy and pleading.

She almost giggled.

“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” he said incredulously, with a hint of a smile.

“Perhaps a bit,” she replied, letting him pull her into his arms.

“You evil woman,” he chuckled softly, before pulling back to look at her face, frowning at her puffy eyes, “I am so sorry. Words cannot express my regret. I did not mean to cause you pain. I was foolish.”

“Yes, you were. But I forgive you,” she replied.

“Thank you, my love. I do not deserve your kindness.”

She kissed his cheek. “You do not need to earn my kindness. I know it has been tiring, with all of the work. But it is not my fault.”

“I know it is not. Of course, it is not. You give me nothing but strength. I adore you. I love you.” he murmured into her hair.

“I love you,” she replied softly, with a hint of amusement.

“Let me show you,” he mumbled, lifting her off the ground, “let me show you how much.”

She giggled.

“Anthony Bridgerton you are insatiable.”

[cherriesncinnamon]

stress reliever / spencer reid x fem!reader

synopsis: your fellow profiler at the bau is stressed over a case. shoulders tight and room empty, you decide to relieve some of his tension.

warnings/tags: stressed spencer, grinding, blowjob, fem!reader.

word count: 1.1k.

a/n: tell me why this is literally the first thing i've written in a nearly year?! i've been so busy but i've missed this. rewatching criminal minds for the third time so thought i should treat myself to a lil spence smut.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

"I just don't understand what I'm missing." Spencer announces, clutching his hair in his fists as he slumps down on a chair.

"Neither do any of us. This UnSub loves puzzles, clearly he's really good at them, too." I reassure. SSA Spencer Reid hates when he cannot figure something out. Not because he has a weak ego, but because he really should know.

"God, my head is killing me." He says, rubbing his temples gently with his thumb and forefinger.

"Probably because we've been up for over 24 hours. Hotch and the rest won't be back for at least another hour, a nap couldn't hurt." I suggest, tucking my knees up to my chest in my chair, preparing to drift off in under a minute.

"No. No, I have to figure out some of this, even just a little bit. We can't let this son-of-a-bitch roam free for another second." He picks himself up and looks at the board again, eyes squinting at the words until they're unintelligible.

I show up behind him, taking a look at the board for the fiftieth time that day to see if a few minutes away from it had altered my ability to solve the puzzles. It hadn't. I rest my hands on Spencer's shoulders, and he jolts at my touch. His muscles are tensed and knotted.

"Jesus, Spence. You need to lie down. We know better than anyone that stress does not make our jobs any easier." I urge, slowly massaging his shoulders in an empathetic way. Spencer shakes his head, turning to face me.

"Sleep will not relieve this stress." He replies, gaze fixed. He sighs deeply, looking down at me as if he's waiting for me to provide a solution I definitely don't have. If anyone has the mental equipment to solve this case, it's Spencer Reid.

I guide him over to a chair, sitting beside him. I take a swig of my cold tea and rest my head on my knees. He stares at me with those big brown eyes that are usually full of life - well, in Spencer's kind of way - that are now deadened and hollow. I rest my hand on his and he squeezes mine back with a smile.

This is the first time I'm seeing him smile in days. I look eagerly at his lips, not hesitating to reach out and kiss him. He, of course, kisses back, gripping the side of my face tightly.

There's always been a mutual attraction between the two of us, but neither have ever even thought of acting on it. Derek loves to call us Romeo and Juliet. I laugh; Spencer doesn't get the joke.

I pull his hair through my hands, tugging gently at his roots as our kiss intensifies. I'm so glad he cut that mane, swapping it out for something much better.

I feel myself drifting off to a blissful state when Spencer pulls away abruptly, leaving my lips alone. He grimaces at me, clearly fighting some internal demons I can't see. I know he's not the romantic type, so I'm not sure why I thought it would be a good idea. We don't exchange any words for a few seconds until he gives in and reaches into me. I refuse his kiss.

"Do you really want this, Spence?" I ask, to his contemplation. He thinks for a minute, breath heavily paced. I look down at the bulge in his pants, pulsating through the fabric.

"Well, it sure looks like it." I joke with a harmless laugh. Spencer sighs at me, covering himself with both of his hands. I take his wrist and remove it, lightly stroking him with my palm, much to his pleasure. He tips his head back in the chair from my slight touch, grinding his hips into my hand, eager for more.

Feeling brave, I push Spencer's chair out from under the table, making enough room for me to straddle his lap, placing myself on top of his clothed bulge. Spencer doesn't know where to look, his eyes pacing from my eyes, to my lips, to my breasts, and to my waist. I take his hands and place them on my hips for support.

He's hard against my crotch, so hard that I can tell he won't be able to hold on for long. I play on this, beginning to grind myself against him at a painfully slow pace. He moans out, licking his lips that are dry from his breathlessness. I run my fingers through the front of his hair, pushing the strands out of his face while starting to move faster.

Spencer's hands squeeze my hips, pushing me down further onto his length that is desperate for a release. His eyes alternate between open and closed, unsure whether to admire me or savour the sensation.

"Does that feel good?" I pry, peppering kisses on his supple neck. Spencer can barely mumble a mhm as he groans out more and more. I sense his closeness and remove myself, sliding down to under the table.

"What are you doing? Why'd you stop?" Spencer begs, sitting up in his chair. Looking up, I smile at him, making my way towards his zipper.

I unzip his pants and break the waistband of his black boxers, watching in arousal at his cock spring free. His tip is glazed in pre-cum, veins spiralled around his length, begging to be relieved. I'm shocked at his size, to be honest. I had always thought he would fit the stereotypes of geniuses, assumed that he was compensating for something with his intelligent. But clearly, he just hasn't had the opportunity to show anyone what he can do.

Without waiting a second longer, I lick his sensitive tip then take him into my slick mouth, observing his chest heave inhumanly fast as I move up and down his member, making sure to cover every single inch. Spencer rests his hand on the top of head, stroking my hair softly.

"God." He whispers, squeezing his eyes tightly shut and gripping the armrest of his chair. I use my free hand to stroke the delicate skin of his abdomen, sending goosebumps across his entire body. I can feel him pulsating in my mouth, so close to climax that it has to be uncomfortable.

I remove my mouth, now using both hands to jerk him. The wetness makes my hands glide on his cock, welcoming his finish.

Finishing on my blouse, Spencer takes a minute to catch his breath. He swiftly wipes himself with a tissue from the table, tucking his still half-hard length away.

"Feel better?" I ask, walking towards the door to wander to my office change my blouse before the team arrives.

"Much better."

[princessozera]

so, random thought, there's a good chance the demon bros inadvertently harmed mc in some capacity just because human and demon limits are so vastly different, and the main human any have had contact with is Solomon, whose humanity is somewhat debatable. mc might act like they're invincible, but they are human in the end, and human durability is largely that we can keep going after almost any injury, not that we don't get injured

like Lucifer strings them up as he would his brothers, forgetting (assume he's really tired or stressed or whatever) that doing so puts a lot of pressure on the body and can cause actual damage instead of just being annoying like it is to his brothers. depending on how exactly he ties them up it'd change the effects but it's never gonna be great for them

Mammon running away from shenanigans with them and he tugs on their hand a bit too hard and fast to get them safely around a corner and dislocates their shoulder in the process because force = mass x speed and Mammon is a speedy boy. or he's running from Lucifer and slams into them at top speed, and if they can't protect their head from the wall/floor you know Mams is freaking out because mc is all out of it and there's so much blood and he doesn't care how Lucifer punishes him as long as he makes sure mc is alright

otaku Levi with his nonexistent sleep schedule doesn't realise just how badly sleep deprivation affects humans. paranoia, weakened immune system, depersonalisation, all the way to sleep deprivation psychosis. you go 96 hours or 4 days without sleep and lemme tell you, you ain't properly attached to reality anymore. been there, done that, would not recommend. there were bugs crawling all over my arms and legs and shadow people whispering. fucking sucked, and I was constantly shaking so I kept dropping stuff

if anyone knows about human durability, at least in theory, it's Satan, but the avatar of wrath can be emotionally charged. he really didn't mean to hurt them, but he was trying so hard not to lose it that day and as he led mc out of his room so they wouldn't be caught in the inevitable explosion, his deadly sharp claws nicked their skin. the wounds were mostly superficial— hurt like a bitch but no major arteries were damaged— but there was quite a lot of blood and Satan felt sick in a way he never had before. humans scar easily, a useful trait to close open wounds quickly, but Satan hates that he was the cause of those raised lines

Asmo is probably best at remembering since he hangs out with Solomon and has had human lovers before, but he is mostly around Solomon who cannot die. so he doesn't always remember what is and isn't toxic for humans, especially since a lot of poisons are used in medicines at lower doses and a lot of things we need to live are poisonous if we consume enough. it'd only take one slip up to put mc in hospital, and of course they don't blame him but he begs Satan to teach him as much as he can so it never happens again

you know Beel would try his best to remember, and he'd feel horribly guilty if he ever hurt mc, but he's big and strong even by demon standards and can eat anything that isn't Solomon's cooking. there's a few ways this one could go— sharing food with them that's toxic to humans, hugging them a bit too hard, mc giving him their food and going hungry, they work out together and they get hurt... take your pick

and Belphie knows all too well how fragile mc is, so he's very careful with his demonic strength around them. he already killed them once with barely any effort. but one day he wakes up from napping with mc to find he held them too hard and they're bruising. maybe his arm curled around their neck as it bloomed black and blue once again. Belphie doesn't nap with them for a while after that

! ANON! 💕💕💕💕

I don't know how you sniped me from across the highway but whump/injuries are exactly my cup of obsession and I've thought about this forever- i just never really had enough to make a full post. I LOVE your ideas and I hope you dont mind me bouncing some of my own off them;

----

Lucifer and his funny little habit of hanging his brothers 💕 Say he takes pity on MC, makes sure they're right side up, nothing around the neck and only tied beneath the arms and around the legs. Plans to take them down in 5 minutes, really it was meant to be the pet equivalent of air jail. But a call here, difficulties there and 5 minutes turn to 10 and then it slips to 15. It's so little time, absolutely nothing compared to the nights he's left Mammon up over the banister.

So why are there screams in the hall? Why are Asmo, Mammon and Levi on the phone with Solomon, Barbatos, and Simeon respectively? He doesn't understand why they don't immediatley drop MC down, only catching the tail end of Solomon explaing something called "suspension trauma" to Asmo. When they do get MC down, even from a distance he can see the color is almost completely gone from their face, while their legs are a few shades darker. He watches Satan mouth out the count for MC's pulse, quick and staggering. When MC wakes, they can't seem to take a proper breath- gasping, clutching their chest, tearing up and confused. There isn't much more any of them can do, other than stand back and hand MC over to Barbatos and Solomon.

----

In a movie, it would be considered slapstick comedy, the way that Mammon skid around a corner full speed, carpet pulling under his feet , hip checking the wall as he ran away from Lucifer. In a movie it would be hilarious they way him and MC crashed, sending them literally flying back, head bouncing off the wall, swirls in their eyes and stars dancing around their head. In a movie they would only need to shake it off and get up to yell at him, with Lucifer standing back and watching in smug satisfaction.

But there wasn't anything funny about this, MC slumped in his arms, blood turning his tshirt into a darker shade of black, making it tacky and stick onto his skin. They're awake, sort of? But their pupils aren't the same size, and the speech is slurred. There's a truce as Lucifer heals MC, and they get them to a proper doctor.

Mammon gets better at ducking and weaving around MC, it even helps him evade Lucifer better. But MC doesn't escape the dislocated shoulders, and unwanted popping of their knuckles when Mammon holds their hand too hard. Neither had known that after the first dislocation, its a lot easier to dislocate your should again. It's never intentional, but it always hurts- MC tries to breathe through it if there is an urgency, but Mammon catches the way they pointedly look away, trying to blink the tears away, and knows that he's- once again- failed to keep MC out of harm.

---------

Levi being MC's energy drink dealer. He doesnt know why they dont but their own, but he has plenty so he ultimately doesnt mind sharing. They're not attached at the hip so he doesnt see how little sleep MC is getting, a single can carrying them through 2 whole days. They know its time to 1-up again when their heart stops sounding like helicopter blades.

He finds them on the floor of their room, rubbing their arms raw with the hard bristle brush Asmo uses to buff his horns, babbling incoherently to themselves.

-----

With Satan the physical is NEVER intentional, as much as he used to rage in the early days of the fall, the thought of hurting MC didn't sit well with him. But tiny nicks are so easy to cause when even his regular nails are sharper than a humans'. If MC can keep their reactions subtle, it wont be until Satan is laying in their lap that he notices the "freckles" on their arms don't quite lay flat.

When you're used to fast reflexes, you don't think twice about slamming a door in someone's face. Someone (MC) who was too close and now has a broken, bloody nose. Now whenever the snore in their sleep, or their nose whistles when they laugh too hard, Satan remembers opening the door to MC doubled over, blood leaking from between their fingers as they tried to put pressure on the bridge of their nose.

-------

Dosage and concentration.

Asmo is vaugely familiar with these terms- SPF strength, alcohol proofing, acidity in his skin care. He's had so many spa nights with Solomon that he doesn't think twice about sharing his skin care routine with MC as well. Powders, gels, creams, exfoliants. Some a bit too harsh, MC's skin turns warm and flush, so he thinks their skin is sensitive. He'd ask for help caring for his wings and horns. MC goes in with their bare hands to get a good scrub, attributing the burn to the rough edges and upturned edges of Asmo's horns. It feels like icyhot, so it must be working. When they're done, Asmo tries to take the rest of the cream off their hands to apply to his hands, but they both scream as a visible layer of skin from MC starts peeling off as well. The acid having fulling numbed and killed off most of the senses in MC's hand, had started to deteriorate the skin, and its by some small blessing that MC hadnt already applied it to their face. It takes a panicked called to Solomon to get the feeling back into MC's hands, but it still takes weeks for the skin to grow back on to their hands. The pain of bandages on raw muscle is excruciating, and Asmo sticks to them like glue, fully taking the blame for their condition.

-----

Beel and Belphie have another trauma to share as twins- nearly killing MC in their sleep! Beel doesnt understand how heavy an unconcious body can be, and being as large as he is, this becomes a problem the first time him and MC share a bed. He falls asleep with an arm draped over them, but exhaustion from practice has him rolling on to them. Even if not entirely covering them, the weight on their chest makes it hard to breathe and MC soon drops nicities and is trying their damnest to get him off or at least wake him up. Its a panicked use of the pacts to call another brother that saves them, and Beel cant sleep for the rest of the night.

Belphie doesn't have as many night terrors these days, but they can still get bad. Usually sleeping with MC can keep these dreams at bay, but on nights that they dont, he wakes up to find MC tossed onto the floor or squeezed between him and the wall. On the worsts of these nights, he woke up to MC screaming, having wrapped a hand and tail so tightly around their arm that it shattered in 2 places.

(Can I also offer a beel and belphie alternative: MC wanting to match Beel's stamina/ gym workout time and getting muscle deterioration. Belphie wanting a sleeping partner so he messes up their sleeping cycles, 10+ hrs asleep, accidentally depriving them of light, water, and food, causing a depressive episode)

[booksandspilledwine]

Reasons why I could NEVER hate Eli King

-an extensive list

Let me just start off with this excerpt from one of Eli’s chapters:

‘As I watch her peaceful expression, I almost forget that I’m married to what’s societally known as a madwoman. Worse, she doesn’t even know it. And I’ll make sure it remains this way.’

He forced organizations and companies to invite Ava to play at their events or programs so that she could rediscover her lifelong passion: the cello.

Before her performance, he texts her knowing that she’s anxious and reassures her too. 

‘My wife is many infuriating things, but she’s undeniably beautiful.’

Like hello??? SWOON.

He avoided drinking and helped Ava with her alcoholism issues.

He distanced himself from Ava because he felt that his face was a trigger to her episodes

‘I’ll carve my name beneath her skin so deeply, she’ll find me in her dreams. And her nightmares.’

Eli, Chapter 25.

“Tell me you find me beautiful.” “I find you so extremely beautiful, it hurts to look at you sometimes.” “More beautiful than your ex-girlfriends?” “I’ve never had a girlfriend and even if I had, they wouldn’t hold a candle to you.”

He memorized the letter she had written in which she confessed her feelings for him. WORD FOR WORD.

He had OCD, yet he allowed her to mess up the order of his books.

He refrained from having s3x with her because he felt that she was not in the right state of mind to consent to it. He felt like he was taking advantage of her and he did not like that at all.

He left an important meeting just because Ava showed up at the office, without caring about the consequences or what his father would say.

He stabbed a man important to his project for suggesting that all he wanted in return for his investment was sleeping with Ava for a night. He stabbed a man. IN PUBLIC. 

“You’re lucky we’re in public or that knife would’ve been deep in your throat. Look at my wife again and I’ll gouge your eyes out.”

Yet another example of him not giving two shits about the consequences and problems he’d have to face.

“You’re my wife and those who don’t respect the fact will be dealt with accordingly.” 

He literally killed a man because he sexually assaulted Ava.

He didn’t let her drive because he anticipated that she would have a panic attack and it would also serve as a trigger.

“You never treated me as abnormal and I’m grateful. No, I’m beyond grateful.”

Ava to Eli, in chapter 29.

‘And I know- I just know I’ll fuck up everything for this woman.’

Oh Eli King, the man you are.

He keeps the night lamp on because he knew how much she hated sleeping in the dark. Now, this might not seem like a lot BUT IT’S ALWAYS THE LITTLE THINGS.

“Should we go to a West End show later?”

“You don’t even like the theater.”

“But you do.”

He took care of her after every episode, bathing her, cleaning her and putting her to sleep because he knew she was in no state to do so and she couldn't even differentiate what was real and what wasn't. He did all of this without ever complaining.

No matter the situation, he, and I cannot stress on this enough, ALWAYS put her needs before his. One example is the fact that he developed insomnia because he was worried that she would have an episode at night and he wouldn’t be able to help her. That literally shows how much he cares for Ava.

‘However, the more I find, the deeper I want to go. I’ve seen her hide from her best friends just so they won’t witness her at her worst. I’ve seen her smile and laugh while her eyes were screaming for help. I’ve seen her looking in the mirror and reciting her name, age, and her love for cello while seeming as if she were staring through herself.’

He noticed every small detail about her.

“I’d never despise her.”

“Even if she’s the reason you ruin the ambition you’ve harbored your entire life?”

“Even then.”

“You’ll be destructive without a purpose.”

“I have a purpose. It’s her.”

A conversation between Eli and Leo Henderson

In the beginning of the book, we see Ava repeatedly asking for a divorce and Eli shutting that down. However, the minute Ava threatens to kill herself, he agrees to a divorce and transfer of guardianship.

He didn't want to live in a world if Ava wasn't in it. He was ready to unalive himself if she had died in her fall down the stairs. 

‘I sacrificed my peace of mind for hers, and I realize now that I would do it again in a heartbeat if I ever got a redo. Because I care about her, more than I even realized. Since she waited years for me to come around. I can do the same. For as long as it takes.’

In chapter 41, Cecily gives a long explanation of Eli’s actions. If that doesn't convince you that he cares about her, I don't know what will.

Eli would visit her at the institute every night once the doctor allowed him to. He held her hand as he sat. He would read romance books to her even though he didn't like them at all. He came back night after night, even when it looked like he hadn't slept for days so much so that Cole himself was impressed.

He took care of her plants in case she ever thought of returning.

He never took off the watch she gifted him.

“The phoenix is you. You’re a beautiful mythical being who can be born from the ashes of your illness.” “And the tree of life?” “That’s me. I believed I could contain your rebirth, every time.”

SEE?? He loved her so much that he got a tattoo for her. Also I'm just a sucker for those phoenix metaphors.

‘She might have been the one who experienced issues with alcoholism, but my addiction to her is far worse. The only difference is that I don’t wish to ever become sober.’

An excerpt from the second epilogue.

EliAva are the perfect definition of ‘Action speaks louder than words.’ Saying that you couldn't feel the love between them is just straight up stupid. If you think they didn't have chemistry, then I just have one question for you. DID WE EVEN READ THE SAME BOOK?? If you think chemistry means chasing someone in the woods, taking advantage of you, forcing some random girl who's on the verge of offing herself to give you a bl0wj0b at the EGDE OF A CLIFF, no less, then I really don't know what to say. Am I saying Eli was a good man? No. Not at all. He wasn't perfect. Every Rina Kent MMC had their own issues and were problematic. People say they want complex characters but the minute a complex character is introduced, y'all waste no time hating on them. What Eli did barely even touched the surface, especially if we compare him to other RK men. Hate on him, Ava or the book all you want but don't tell me they didn't have chemistry or that Eli never cared about her when the entire book is a testament to the fact that he actually cared about Ava a lot.

[skekthesilly]

sprunki lore according to my sisters (i have not seen sprunki at all and i think they might be lying to me) (theyre just making up a story at this point and im rolling with it) PART: 1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

very silly story under the cut:

black had a really bad day. he stubbed his toe, fell, spilled his coffee, and had an annoying ass conversation with wenda. black is so pissed at wenda that he punches her. apparently, black was holding a hypnotization bracelet so when he punched wenda the bracelet shook around and hypnotized her, causing her to snatch said bracelet from him and punching the latter - hypnotizing him as well. now they are both hypnotized and crazy.

this is why they are evil and killed a bunch of people - except wenda didnt kill grey because wenda loves him, and black didnt kill jevin because black loves him.

apparently. according to my sisters.

pinki was going to get a tattoo from black at a tattoo store. black was going to tattoo a skull with the words "bye bye" to pinki's forehead, but accidentally ripped her face off.

fun bot also punched wenda and black in the faces, in an attempt to un-hypnotize them. it did not work, because they did not have the hypnotization bracelet. black and wenda got angry and chased fun bot until they lost sight of them.

wenda didn't give simon enough food, so he decided to eat brud instead. after eating brud, simon was satiated.

mr. fun computer was dying, and said that he needed battery. so jevin, who was conveniently right next to him, plugged in a charger but it was the wrong charger. this turned mr. fun computer into a catboy, and made him chase jevin all around the room (because theyre in a house for some reason). so jevin ran out of the house that they were both in and teamed up with grey for shelter, because grey was hiding from wenda. but before they found shelter, black killed oren.

grey and jevin are in a forest trying to survive. grey is stressing out and babbling nonsense until jevin interrupts grey by saying "just shut up and kiss me already!" they fall in love and make out passionately. (note: THIS STATEMENT RIGHT HERE HAS TURNED ME INTO A GREY X JEVIN SHIPPER AND I CANNOT GO ONE SECOND WITHOUT THINKING ABOUT THEM KISSING. CURSE YOOOOUUUU RAAAAAGGHHHHH........... GETS BLASTED WITH YAOI BEAM.....)

raddy was pretending to be jesus. wenda got so mad at him that she nailed raddy to a cross, jesus-style. wenda then asked simon to eat half of raddy's body. suddenly, simon choked on brud's bucket (which had apparently been stored in his stomach and somehow got regurgitated) and passed out.

mr. sun was going to get a tattoo from black at a tattoo store. black says "okay but you need to burn down the forest and everyone in it first" and mr. sun agrees. after the deed is done, mr. sun gets a tattoo on their left eye.

however, pinki (who was apparently in the forest) survives the forest fire, along with grey and jevin. grey and jevin fled to a different forest when the saw mr. sun burning the first forest down.

vineria was in the second forest looking for food, but then she mistook plant food for normal food, so she ate it and felt really sick but she ate it anyways because she thought it was still food. she went to sleep, and the next morning her eyes were hurting a lot. she said "omg it feels like my eyes are gonna pop out" and guess what? they did. she then realized too late that the "normal food" was dangerous plant food, but by the time she realized this, the weird growth stuff in her insides were growing and reaching her brain, making her pass out. she died shortly after.

sky saw all the craziness happening everywhere and tried to find grey and jevin. but while they were running, they stepped on a booby trap and metal pipes burst out of the trap and impaled them, causing them to die.

(guess were switching to present tense now lmao)

grey and jevin are wandering in the forest when they find an abandoned house. inside, they find a shovel and keep it for defense in case something bad happens. they decide to stay in the abandoned house.

a day later, while grey and jevin are searching for food, they see sky's dead carcass and go "man. we should bury them." so they bury them using the shovel they found.

wenda and black are searching for weapons when they stumble upon an abandoned house (not the same house that grey and jevin are in). turns out that the abandoned house is actually tunner's house, and wenda finds a gun, cowboy boots, a cowboy hat, and cowboy clothes. she decides to wear the clothes and keep the gun, and is so intoxicated with the idea of being a cowgirl (she's always wanted to be a cowgirl) that she goes out into the forest, finds tunner, and shoots him because she wants to be the only cowgirl in sprunkiland and doesnt want any other cowgirls or cowboys to live.

wenda then gets really hot outside so she takes the cowboy clothes off.

a few minutes later, black is bored and wants to do something, so he goes "hey wenda. wanna see something cool???" and she goes "yeah sure." so black uses magic (which he apparently has for some reason) and magically revives all the dead sprunkis into evil zombies. wenda goes "woah. thats cool. can you control them?" and black goes "nah. lol. lmao. i cant control them" and wenda goes "omg bro youre so STUPID....... were LITERALLY GONNA DIE..... theyre like UNDEAD ZOMBIES NOW.......theyre NOT GONNA DIE ANYMORE........ bRO........" and black is like "haha. lol. i was bored. lmao. tee hee." he has no fear of consequences.

grey and jevin are still in the second forest, still hiding out in the abandoned house they found, but then clukr walks into the house (grey and jevin haven't locked the door because, in my sister's words: "theyre dumb") and for some reason they just dont notice clukr. but its because hes being quiet. they continue not noticing until clukr reaches the second floor (the house has a second floor and grey and jevin are on the second floor). then jevin goes "omg is that wenda" and brings out the shovel (he cant see clukr very well because its dark outside ((the lights barely work inside, theyre trying to conserve power)) ), but grey goes "wait thats clukr thats my semi-pookie clukr" (hes kinda basically a cat. like i know its canon that hes not a cat but me and my sister have decided that he is now a demon who looks like a cta. whatever. he has night vision too) and jevin goes "hmmmm. hmm.... hrmmm..... okay. whatever. sure ig."

but black was watching everything that was happening while holding a grey and jevin detector blessed upon him by mr. sun, and a chainsaw blessed upon him by mr. fun computer. black floats to the second floor back window (he has magic) and throws the chainsaw into the window, aiming for grey and jevin. jevin quickly deflects the chainsaw with the shovel but it bounces off directly into clukr's head, slicing it.

clukr is just introduced and then literally immediately dies like 5 seconds later. justice for clukr

anyways because of the magic that turns dead sprunkis into evil zombies, clukr dies but is immediately revived and is evil now. clukr then tries to attack both grey and jevin but clukr cant see very well thru his giant cymbal head and jevin just starts repeatedly beating up clukr with the shovel. yaaaaayyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

now clukr is dizzy, but grey is freaking out and goes "we need to get outta here NOW" so he grabs jevin's hand and runs out the broken back second story window and gets cut up by all the broken glass, but he doesn't see black at the window and rams head-first straight into his stomacg. like. REALLy hard. so them black got a really bad stomachache and went spinning off into the distance while grey and jevin fell down the second story all the way down to the ground. and. note this. take notes of this.

after falling, grey and jevin are NOT INJURED. at ALL. not injured by the fall at the sLIGHTEST. but then they immediately pass out once they reach the bottom. like they literally jump out the window, are perfectly fine, and just ragdoll once they touch the ground. roblox style. like they just jump out and go "yippee!!! yahoo!!!!!" and land on the ground UNSCATHED and just. "uuuurrghhhhh!!!!!! passes out on the ground"

anyways my sister said that grey landed on all fours (like the totally awesome demon cat that he is) and is perfectly ok and has like a whole two seconds of being conscious until he just randomly ragdolls roblox-style on the ground. then jevin is about to fall to the ground beside him also perfectly ok, but in midair his body is just. magically teleported on top of grey??? and he falls on grey and he just passes out after?????? i have no clue just roll with it chat

anyways fun bot sees both their unconscious bodies at the back of the house and brings them to their secret underground base. jevin wakes up first in one of the beds in the base and fun bot notices and says "did you know that you passed out on top of grey.... thats kinda gay. thats kind of gay of you to do that"

jevin says "uhhhh no??? i didnt do that???? wtf???"

and fun bots like "yeah you did. i saw it with my own two robotic eyes. i saw it. i would not lie to you. you passed out on top of grey yaoi-style. i saw it"

and then grey woke up and was like "omg!!! where am i"

and fun bot goes "dw youre safe youre not gonna die by that weird creepy catboy mr. fun computer"

and jevin was like "oh yeah i remember he turned into a catboy and chased me all around the room"

and fun bot says "we gotta stop black and wenda. did you know that theyre hypnotized? i tried to un-hypnotize them but i need the magic bracelet black had and unfortunately its destroyed so i cant un-hypnotize them until we fix it"

grey hears something in the base and goes "uhhhhh.... is there other people down here?????"

fun bot says "oh yeah pinki and brud are here too idk how they survived but they did"

and grey's like "o. wow. so like. can we see em. like can we see how theyre doing"

and fun bot's like "yeah ok sure"

so grey and fun bot go deeper into the base to find pinki. once they find them pinki goes "omg!!!! hi!!!!! how are you!!!!!" but its kinda garbled bc like. she has no lips

and greys like "omg wtf happened to your face"

and pinkis like "oh yeah i got my face ripped off. btw if you wanna find brud hes at the cafeteria. straight ahead"

and greys like "ok"

so grey and fun bot go to the cafeteria and they see brud there and bruds like "ae"

and then hes like "omg!!!!!! is that wenda and black!!!!!! 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱"

and greys like "no???? its me and fun bot"

and bruds like "who"

and greys like "ok. whatever. at least youre still alive"

and fun bots like "ok chat we should go find the pieces of the magic bracelet. theres six pieces scattered across sprunkiland. also btw brud you should stay here bc i feel like you are absolutely going to die if you take one step outside of this base"

then fun bot goes to the area pinki is in and asks her "yo pinki wanna help us find the magic bracelet that will un-hypnotize black and wenda" and pinki goes "yeah sure but first you gotta fix my face bro this sucks" and fun bots like "man. i only have bandages and medicine. not skin grafts. i also have toilet paper to wipe off all the blood n yucky stuff from your face. you should take the bandages n the toilet paper. i dont think youll need the medicine bc like. im 99% sure youre not sick. actually take it just in case. oh and we need coats. it cold outside"

and pinki goes "ok lemme put on my coat rq. man. i miss my husband oren, fun bot. i miss him a lot."

and greys like "ok..... uh.... lets go get jevin. i dont think he needs a coat, he has his hood already"

so they walk to the area where jevin is in and once they find him they notice jevin has found a surplus of guns. hes like "yo check out these awesome guns i found. fun bot why didnt you tell us about this" and grey goes "vro..... youre literally going to kill yourself put those guns down.... do you even know how to use them" and jevin stares at grey with his big round sopping wet gay eyes and goes "pleade. were gonna need them" and grey goes ".....ok. sure. ok. dont shoot yourself" and jevin goes "um. well you see" and shows a comically perfect bullet hole that you can see straight through, and the bullet hole is IN HIS STOMACH. and my sister made a note of emphasizing that he is PERFECTLY FINE AND NOT IN ANY PAIN AND THERE IS NO BLOOD ANYWHERE. and he is just FINE. he is just JIGGY WITH IT. and he goes "yo grey can i have those bandages youre holding" and hes like "omg. jevin. you. you literally. ok. sure"

so jevin covers the bullet hole with bandages but then brud bursts into the room and goes "whERES THE BATHROON!!!!! i nEED to Take A Dump™️" and fun bot says "ok. go straight, turn a left, straight again, to the right, go in the elevator, 2nd floor, then go straight, turn right, up the left stairs, third door to the right, and you'll find the bathroom :)"

and bruds like "ok 🤤" and bashes straight through the wall

and fun bots like "okay. well. we need to get another thing-" and pinki goes "i know what it is!!!!!!!!!" and pinki runs out of the room and after a whole 10 minutes she brings a wHOLE ENTIRE ELEPHANT INTO THE ROOM. and shes standing on the elephant and she says "alright!!!! were ready to go now!!!!!"

so they exit out of the secret base. with the elephant

PART 2 COMIG SOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- my sister

[isthe-protag-cluelesstho]

Okay, probably not a hot take, but imma scribble about it anyway,

I honestly think Cale Hetinuse/Kim Rok Soo has chronic pain/fatigue.

Like, everybody loves the whole coughing up blood/wet meow meow thing he's always doing, but personally? People who are that nonchalant about Shit Happening To Their Body, are typically people who are waaaaay too used to Fucked Up Shit Happening To Their Body,

It's just a head canon, but as someone who is chronically in pain, I absolutely do some of the stupid shit CH/KRS does, like carrying stuff I should NOT be carrying, or continuing to Do Things even when I should be sitting and resting. I also know several people who (like me) can be experiencing level 4-5 pain and not show a hint on their face/through their actions besides maaaaybe moving a bit slower/stretching more

And we know KRS has been on his own since he was itty bitty... And then he grew up in a world hell bent on killing everyone. I can't help but think that a tiny child with no one to help him with the general cuts/bruises/little hurts of childhood would 1) have zero frame of reference for what "okay" actually looks like 2) probably has never really received medical care beyond emergency assistance (which does jack for chronic conditions) and 3) has NEVER really had someone in his life long enough for them to catch his way of coping with pain (my very close friends can hear when I'm hurting/tired, everyone else only notices if I am visibly incapacitated)

So, Kim Rok Soo ends up in a world/body that "technically" hasn't experienced his life, HOWEVER fibromyalgia and PTSD are like goddamn pb&j. It's a condition that is deeply tied to a body's stress response. And what does Cale say once he has the Heart? "I feel BETTER"

And that just speaks to me of a person who is so used to pain, that it no longer really registers... I had daily headaches for 7 years, it wasn't until I moved and got a new primary that I found out that more than 4 headaches in a month was considered a concern... I got on some migraine meds and actually stopped having that daily headache, something id just accepted as "how my body works" gone,

I personally don't consider pain at a 1-2 as particularly bothersome, it's more like a general annoyance. Onces it's up to 6-7 it's hard for me to move, and yet I often will still do so, despite the pain. It's only at 9-10 so I stop moving entirely and focus on just weathering it. Usually when that happens, I sleep so much after as my body tries to recover.

And when I read Cale, so casually continuing forward, despite the work he takes on himself, after the constant planning and prepping and ass kicking, all I see is a person who has lived so long with his body's suffering that it's just background noise. Yeah, he coughed up some blood, but the pain is back to "normal" so how can he raise a fuss? He killed 3 monsters with a dislocated shoulder that one time, this? This is easy. And despite claiming his body is weak, he refuses to truly accept the help and rest he needs because (like I used to) Cale thinks "this is just how my body works"

Sometimes, I cannot remember how I lived prior to my pain. Sometimes, I cannot imagine a world where I do not spend half the night attempting to force my muscles to relax, so I can actually sleep. I cannot imagine a world where I am able to do everything I want in a day and not collapse at the end. And I see so much of myself in how Cale continues to move despite the weight of the ancient powers, the expectations of the gods and his own personal hopes. He seems like a character doomed to continue walking, his bones broken but refusing the care because whats the point if everything still hurts the same way in the end?

Anyway, Raon should invent a cure for chronic illness and force Cale into a year long sabbatical

[boiledbirdy]

BRAD FUCKIN WAYNEEE

headcannons i have abt this sweet himbo fratboy

This man is the largest in the family, like 6’6 and built like a non-green hulk. He can easily pick up and fireman carry Bruce and Jason

Is the guy in a frat party to sit with girls and hear about them bitch about periods and now carries a little pack with him everywhere that has a few tampons, pads, hand-warmers (for on the go heating pads), and Tylenol and Advil

Where does he keep this stuff and the random assortment of weird things he has, you ask? He wears a fanny-pack

read it and weep y’all he wears fanny-packs, usually the cool way over his shoulder, but mostly around his waist since he carries a backpack almost 25/8

He drives a beater truck (just an old car whose been through like three accidents and is still going strong) specifically a 1991 dodge D250 truck with a scratched up white paint job where there are dents, scratches, and a few patches of off white paint on dents that was sorta DIY-ed

his keys 🔑 have a weird ass mesh of keychains on it like: Ally flag keychain and a flag keychain for every single label a person has come out to him with, also a keychain from every museum, tourist spot he’s ever been, also a beer and bottle opener he’s a frat boy duhhh, he has a little bracelet that is made of sparkles and purple beads that steph gave to him but it was too small so he put it on his keys, a collage logo keychain, a keychain from his local gym and one with rugby on it etc

the keychains and keys are never ending

HE PLAYS RUGBY, argue with the wall.

getting a bachelors and masters in sports medicine

he makes sure to give Duke, Damian, Cass, Steph, and Tim copies of his keys first (the rest of the fam too they just get priority)

A) because they are the kids, and he wants them to know that he has an open bed any time

B) cause he’s the sibling to not get mad if they are intoxicated in any form and will cover for them

This next one is so important to me

He takes Tim to his first midnight showing of the Rocky Horror Picture Show, same with Damian

He pretty much eats at the Wayne mansion every night but sleeps at his apartment

Shows Damian some good rock’n roll ex Red Hot Chili Peppers, Sublime, Ramones, The Clash, Oingo Boingo, Ghost, Blonde, Foo-Fighters (i can make a playlist if wanted)

Just will sit and have a beer with Jason and sit in silence or talk about weird things that happened today

Steph and him have study sessions together

He will watch any ballet practice Cass wants him to see and he never misses a competition or performance

he sends Tim stupid skateboard tricks and fails videos (tiktok or insta reels) daily and then once a month they take Brad’s truck to a park and Brad sits on a ramp and cheers Tim on like its the Super Bowl

Watches Dick’s dog when he’s away from home and they both watch Barbie movies together

He gardens at Alfred’s request, yes he sucks but this man cannot not say no to the tidbits of Alfred’s life story he learns

Can kick back like 4 kegs of beer with no fucking consequences, he has a liver of steel thanks to Brucie Wayne

He’a the high guy in the bathtub at frat-parties and will give shitty or good life advice its 50/50 honestly

Does stupid white people fraternity things that would kill a normal person but he just is quirkily busting it down and Death just cannot vibe with him

makes (and i cannot stress this enough) the best and i mean best, (Alfred and Ma Kent can’t win in this one) brownies. Whether they are edibles or not they are the best.

has done the Tide-Pod challenge and survived

He is the Frat God of Gotham

Him and Duke are like the best duo

They blast Rock and Rap so that all five cars in every direction can hear it

Duke has the habit of putting weird ass bumper stickers on Brad’s desk and bed frame (at his apartment, they Do Not fuck with Alfred) Brad smiles fondly every time he finds a new one

Brad = Mark, ya know the tiktok sound

Him and Harper simp over women 🙏 together

In his fanny-pack, truck, and various rooms he has stim toys/do-hickeys bins or sections

bc he has Nerodivergent siblings and he was just trying

he asked kinda rude blunt questions, he didn’t know anything and he kinda (really) sucks at subtlety and reading a room but he was just trying to understand

He will take Damian to amusement parks and zoos pretty much bi-weekly

The girls can put on a horrible outfit and makeup and he will think he looks fabulous and no one will ever tell him that he’s sporting fashion and makeup crimes

has a small hidden bookcase of Wings of Fire, Warrior cats, Land of Stories, etc.. cause Damian is embarrassed to admit he actually likes reading them

Watches the trashiest brain rotting tv shows like Dance moms or keeping up with the Kardashians

Goes to any march or parade his siblings or friends are going to so: A) he can be that decked out ally tank of a man passing out water bottles and granola bars B) so if the police are back on their BS he can protecc atacc and throw that tear gas bacc

*Sniff 🤧* I have something I need all of you to know, I say this with a heavy heart *holding back tears 😥* Brad is a former highlighter kid— *single tear falls*

This fucking himbo stud-muffin has slept with, kissed, crushed on, and went on dates with men, but still doesn’t realize that he’s Bisexual

his favorite flavor ice cream is pistachio and carmel

KNOWS NOTHING and i mean nothing about zodiac signs

Has been caught in the middle of Gotham Rouge and does not understand what the fuck is happening

He either Teddy Bear fratboy golden retriever energies them to friendship or friendly acquaintance or annoys them to the high hells of mosquito bites on your butt

^I can expand if wanted

His phone you ask?

Screen cracked like rice crispys

apps more disorganized than the random shit drawer in someone’s house

he has a model 6S and will not upgrade or replace it to save his life.

he has an otterbox case and we all know it, no more denial

Okay thats my time yall see ya

[starandcloud]

42!Miles Headcannons

I am on a kick of Spiderverse, so Tumblr gets it-

Miles has separation anxiety with you, which got a lot worse when you started dating, him being the prowler and all

He cannot handle the sound of guns, it makes his anxiety race.

He'd never admit it but he genuinely likes your company, like he'll deny it then go out of his way to find stupid reasons to hang out with you. Which his mom plays into. Miles: Aye, Idiota. Come over. My mom misses you. Y/N: Ooookay? Rio, hugging Y/N: Y/N I've missed you, how've you been? Are you feeling okay? Have you been eating enough? Y/N, laughing: I'm okay Mrs. Morales, thank you for worrying about me though Miles: *Absolutely smitten by how you interact with his mom*

Leaves you gits randomly, like if he's out on a job with his uncle and he sees something he knows you'll like he'll swipe it (and leave money) and either leave it on your desk or put it on your window sill. You've yet to catch him

He HAS stopped and watched you sleep when he left you a gift, not in creepy way more like a "God... They're so perfect..." His eyes, hidden behind his lil mask, softened on you. He only left because the hallway light flicked on and he panicked. That was the loudest he had ever fled from somewhere, he didn't even close your window.

He is really artistic too, he has dozens of sketches of you in his sketchbook. You're his favorite thing to draw

Don't get me wrong, I'm a sucker for Miles wanting to kill someone for you. But he would only think it, he'd never actually act on those thoughts. He couldn't bear the weight of taking a life, even if it was for you. He's a vigilante, remember

As terrifying as he seems, Miles is a HUGE baby when it comes to getting hurt. He'll act like he's fine, but when he's with his Uncle or Mom he cries. Like ugly cries, he's a huge baby-

Has Trypanophobia (The Fear of Needles), hates the sight of them and cannot handle it when he has to get shots

When he cannot handle anything anymore he goes to his dad's Mural and just sits there, he doesn't talk or make any noise. He just sits against the brick, sometimes he cries, sometimes he doesn't but he's always there late at night so no one really sees him

He doesn't talk to anyone he actually has a crush on, like he's flirty as hell with everyone but the person he actually likes he's really blunt and distant. Like a dumbass

I can 100% see Miles being Omni, like he could like anyone as long as he's close to them

We all know Miles' sleep schedule is FUCKED, he's a Vigilante, he doesn't get to sleep much due to everything being at night. But he still gets good grades and sleeps when he can

This is literally one of his posts on Twitter and you CANNOT tell me otherwise-

He isn't really bothered by people who're taller than him, or people who are a few inches shorter. But if you're below his chin he's wary, he's heard enough from Ganke not to mess with people that short. "They have to climb to get things, I don't wanna mess with someone who climbs counters.

I can see him being taller than 1610!Miles, cause 1610!Miles is 5'8" so I can see 42!Miles being anywhere from 5'9 to 5'10". Like it's not a noticeable difference if you're not paying attention, ya know?

Miles does Photography, but it's more of a hobby. He doesn't plan on turning it into a career, but he does it when he's got the chance, his posts look like this

Bubbly_Rose and Vanilla.Coffee.Addict. Are both his mom, different accounts to support her son. Best mom 100%

Miles has dozens of playlists on spotify, most of which are for his friends and family.

Cat person but has a german shepard named Luna

Had dreads ONCE and decided he hated them, so he stuck to his braids

Miles can cook, really really well. His mom and him used to bond through cooking and now it's something he does when he's stressed or upset

Depending on how tired Miles is, is how he sleeps. If he's just a lil sleepy, his legs are kinda bent and his arms are by his head, HOWEVER, if it was after REALLY tiring job with his uncle he kinda just falls onto his bed and sleeps like that

He usually doesn't go to anyone for comfort and comforts himself unless it's really bad then he goes to his mom or (if he really REALLY trusts them) his significant other

Miles has a tendency to flinch/move away from any form of touch that's not from his mother. He gets pins and needles if he's not expecting a touch and it is almost painful, I wouldn't say he's touch-starved but with his mom working so much it's easy to see that he would be

The one thing that brings Miles' to tears is watching his mom work herself to the bone and never being able to take a break. It makes him so mad that he can't help her, without it being obvious, that it reduces him to tears

He cries when he's mad

He hates it when people go through his things or move them. He has everything in a place, everything has to be perfect. Major OCD when it comes to his room, it's his space and he wants it perfectly clean

Miles takes really good care of himself, he keeps himself in shape (outside of being the Prowler) and makes sure to eat and hydrate right

Miles. Is. A. Huge. Softie for little kids. He acts like he can't stand them but the minute he's flashed a toothy smile from a little kid, he can't help but smile back

He considers a few people who aren't family, his family like Ganke

His idea of "A Perfect Vacation" is going anywhere with his mom and Uncle. It could literally be a trip to his Paternal Grandmother's house, and as long as his mom isn't working he is perfectly content

Miles tends to bite his nails and chew on his lips when he's nervous

By FAR the strangest thing Miles has ever seen was one of his classmates straight up touching their eyeball, that happened when he was 13 and it still freaks him out

Miles accepts advice relatively well, he doesn't show it but he does

He hates most pictures, but there was a few that his version Gwen took of him.

He is horrible at talking to someone he's got a crush on, like worse than 1610!Miles ;-;

Miles wakes up before his mom, when she's home, and makes her breakfast, he eats, showers, and goes to school, comes home, does his homework, goes to his boxing class (curtesy of Uncle Aaron), and depending on the day either goes on a job or goes to sleep

He has a few scars on his face from one of the first few jobs he was on when he wasn't far enough away from a bomb when it went off

Ocra. He CANNOT with the texture of it.

He loves stormy weather, its relaxing to him

He loves Fall and winter, the crisp air makes him smile

As a way to waste time, he goes to the gym or draws

When Miles wakes up from a nightmare, he kinda just lays there until he puts his headphones on and falls asleep to whatever song he's listening to

Miles collects little doo-dads from the street, it gives him something to fidget with

Miles knows English, Spanish, and French. He had to take a second language class and he COULDN'T take Spanish, so he's relatively fluent in French

Miles is the type of person to give someone the tightest most affection hugs, like even if he's just friends with the person. Hugs are like "I love you"s for Miles, they're sparing things from him

If Miles had three wishes from a genie he'd wish for: 1. His mother to either be paid more or for her to work less 2. His city to have less issues 3. To talk to his dad again

CROSSOVER: Miles is a gryffindor, with a Kingfisher Patronus and an 11.25 in Applewood wand with Unicorn hair ((I don't support J.K. Rowling))

Miles saw you in his clothes once and it MELTED him, he physically leaned against the wall and smiled stupidly

If you don't typically wear glasses (despite needing them, like my dumbass) and you wear them around Miles. The first time he saw you in them, he was distracted enough he walked into a wall.

Miles will protest being called cheesy things likes "Babydoll", "Pumpkin" "Sweets", "Bubba", "Light of My Life", "Tater Tot" (this happened ONCE, "Sunshine", "Dumpling", "Bambie", and "Babyface". He genuinely loves it when you call him that. Specifically: Babydoll, Pumpkin, and Sunshine. He still likes the other ones but loves those more.

[mykelneedssleep]

I had the realization today that I dont think I’ve ever spoken about my son on here and since a lot of you know me for podcast content this needs to be rectified immediately so I present to you my first born son: Nureyev

Yes, as in Peter Nureyev. Hilariously this is the most accurate name I have ever chosen for anything because this little bitch has such Peter Nureyev vibes it’s actually crazy. I present a list of random facts about him that I can think of off the top of my head:

1. Literally the first day I had him one of the first things we found out about this tiny little baby was that if there’s a dead cricket in his tank you bet your ass he’s not eating it. This bougie ass bitch only eats live prey. You physically don’t understand how often I have to buy him food because god forbid it dies before he kill it, he’d actually rather starve than eat a dead bug. I can attest to that because one time there was a cricket shortage in my area because it was so cold that all the crickets were dying in transport and this little bitch actually went days without eating because he wouldn’t eat the dead crickets (I finally got him to eat by pushing them around with a clear plastic spoon to make it look like they were moving- lying to your kids works folks)

2. He makes regular attempts to escape from his tank by climbing up the glass. Despite 4 years of trying it still hasn’t worked once but he’s determined he’s going to do it one of these times

3. My mother who typically lovingly refers to him as Nev (“his name is longer than he is, I’m giving him a nickname” -my mother approximately 10 minutes after his name was chosen, took her 3 more days to come up with Nev) will often refer to him as Pete if he’s doing something bad (see above escape attempt). This is particularly funny in the presence of people who are unaware of this nickname but aware enough to know the names of all the animals in our home because they become very confused

4. “The thief is on the prowl” is a very common phrase in our home, this typically means someone has to feed the boy because he’s stalking around the tank looking for living creatures to torment and finding none

5. He regularly sticks his entire head into his water bowl and just leaves it there for a little bit until I become quite convinced that he’s going to drown and then he will just get up and walk away like he didn’t just give me a heart attack

6. If you’re holding him he will climb all over you and somehow find a place to randomly jump off from (again, heart attack every time). Hearing “Nureyev!” said loudly in a concerned but sort of exasperated way is very common

7. If one of his water bowls is empty he will lay in it to get you to pay attention to the fact that it has no water in it but will then refuse to move when you go to put water in it and will become very upset when you eventually give up and just pour water onto him (the above photo was taken directly after I deep cleaned his tank and before I put the water back in, shockingly he looked quite cute instead of seriously pissed off like usual)

8. He likes to have the high ground (he likes to climb on top of people’s heads and just sit there and watch the world as you walk around and continue what you were previously doing. Luckily he has never attempted to jump off someone’s head before)

9. Very dramatic sleeper. I’m talking will sleep in the weirdest positions but like you do you king, if that’s comfy I endorse it

10. He regularly hides in any available nook and/or cranny in the tank. This is yet another cause of great stress for me when I cannot find him

Bonus fact: This bougie bitch was approximately half of the inspiration behind how I play Lizzie (shoutout O!ASKAP enjoyers, this one’s for you). If you’re wondering the other half is simply my penchant for playing the least helpful character I can possibly get away with

[fun-sized-owl]

The Devil and the Servant

Part X – Mercy

Warning: adult themes, sexual themes.

"I cannot lose to you. Not here. Not in my home. I cannot die! Mephistopheles, hear your son! I am at your mercy - save me!" - Raphael (in game dialogue that was unused).

Raphael looked at himself in the mirror. With his hair cut, he looked far more presentable as he brushed a wavy curl behind his ear. He frowned as he looked a little closer. He could swear that there was a hint of grey reaching near his temples. The stress of the last few weeks no doubt, and the fact that this mortal body was ageing the longer he remained without the other half of his soul.

It would take some time for him to regain his healthy glow and complexion after the starvation and torture, but Mephistopheles’ contract informed him that so long as he handed over the souls and debtors of his within the House of Hope, then he was merely under house arrest. He would still be tortured from time to time, it just depended on when his father would command it. If he stayed out of sight long enough, perhaps his father would merely forget about him. It wasn’t like he’d not been neglected before, his father constantly having brushed him away when he was a youngling.

He missed his wings. He missed his fangs and his claws, and the large crown of horns that usually rested at his head. Instead, Haarlep wore them as he lay on the bed within his old cambers he had made his own as a child and as a growing cambion. The son of the Archduke was to look presentable and proper within the court, was to keep his head held high despite how others had looked at him.

Helfbreed.

The words lingered, and he found himself frowning at his own reflection in the mirror. He was at least clean, and the oils on his skin made him smell sweet like cherries. A familiar scent.

He shouldn’t complain. This was better than being locked in the dungeons of Mephistar, and there was no doubt about it. He would just have to get used to being under house arrest and living in this mortal form until Haarlep had tracked down the Orphic Hammer and that dreadful drow that had swung the killing blow.

Sornin Tor’az was no leader. In fact, that’s why he’d targeted the drow. A common interest amongst them: the underdog. Sornin was a drow from Menzoberranzan, sworn to the spider queen, Lolth. A temple guard who had served as a loyal dog for ninety something years. Ninety seven if Raphael could recall correctly. Yes, he was certain it was ninety seven.

When the group of tadpoled individuals had begun their adventure, he had looked for a leader in them, someone that was stronger and could make the right decisions, but someone who was also willing to make a deal with him. At first, nobody had stepped up, but when he’d seen the drow so out of place in a world that was unfamiliar, he knew that he could cater to their evil side. All those sworn to Lolth were born evil, their red eyes a dead give away. Of course, the spider’s eyes had been mismatched, but that was only due to the tadpole that had shoved itself behind said eye and made itself a home. Like some religious symbol, the idiotic drow had taken it as a means to show his broken faith, that he had abandoned Lolth, that the connection between them had been severed. If that was what made the drow sleep at night, then so be it, but Raphael had used it as bait.

Soon, though, the Archdruid Halsin had made his rather large presence known, and guided by the druid’s good nature, Sornin had begun making moral decisions to appease the bear. Raphael had thought he’d been making progress with the dark elf, getting under his skin and letting him know what it was like to be the neglected party of a selfish god. For how was Lolth any different from Mephistopheles when it came to ignoring her children? The chaos of her world was the only thing that separated them.

He wanted to know what made the spider change his mind when he’d been so eager to take the deal in the first place. He intended to find out, and he intended to kill him the moment he had the ability to.

He’d sharpen his claws just especially for Sornin Tor’az, and watch him scream as his throat was slit open, drow blood spraying his mighty wings in the process and bathing him in gore. A fantasy yet… but a promise to himself nonetheless.

A hand reached up and moved over his now smooth chin from where Haarlep had shaved his face, those small cuts still present where the incubus had purposefully let the blade slip. Little shit… Nonetheless, the sight of Haarlep on his bed was a comforting one, as he looked at them in the reflection of the mirror.

Haarlep was rubbing himself on the pillow, which made him turn and look at the creature. “Do you really believe I need your pheromones spread across every surface within proximity?” Wasn’t it obvious that he was allowed to be there? If the incubus wasn’t, he never would have invited them to his room for the evening.

KEEP READING ON AO3

[qaraxuanzenith]

have you ever thought, "The Dresden Files are good, but they would be even better if they were 1000% more gay"?

have you ever thought, "Twilight sure is a book, but it would be better if Bella ( a ) realized that Edward is a weird controlling creep, ( b ) dumped him, ( c ) came out to herself as lesbian, and ( d ) went off to become a paranormal private investigator"?

boy have i got the book series for you: Kate Kane, Paranormal Private Investigator by Alexis Hall

i need more people to read these books because they're. they're so good. they have the Fantasy Kitchen Sink + excellent noir detective getting into increasingly big magical messes and romantic entanglements with a series of beautiful women of Dresden Files, but the main character is a half-faery-princess lesbian and basically the entire cast is gay.

also, i cannot stress this enough, in the main character's backstory she met a vampire in high school AP biology class, dated him for a while, during which time he tried to dump her for her own good, he tried to get a vampire kingpin to kill him because he missed her (necessitating her to show up there and plead for him), and she jumped off a cliff to get attention when she missed him, before she realized that he was insanely jealous, controlling, and creepy (such as by watching her sleep) and also that she was a lesbian, and she dumped him (but of course he continues to show up and experience vampire angst in her direction)

please. please read these books and talk about them with me. i'm begging you.

i have no stake in these books except that they are driving me insane with how good they are

[lauriegraham01]

i'll never smile again

pairings: 40s!bucky barnes x reader, nurse!reader

summary: with you and bucky away to fight in the war, you both can't wait to come back home and begin the rest of your lives together. what's left of your plans when a mission goes sideway? could you and bucky have been born so unlucky?

w/c: 1,423

c/w: takes place in CATFA, ANGST, major character death, themes of grief

a/n: this has taken me the longest to edit, not sure if im completely satisfied with the ending but it's enough. hope u enjoy, lmk if you like :)

Time of death: 14:37

You hang your head low in defeat, the death of another soldier baring on your soul. There truly was only so much that you could do. He had come in completely mutilated from barbed wire and eyes blinded form tear gas. With limited options, you and your team of fellow nurses ensured that he could be comfortable for his passing. One of the other nurses raises the white sheet to cover his face, and you gather yourself to move on to the next patient.

You had joined the army nurse corps a little over a year ago. There was news that we were loosing soldiers faster than we could kill enemies and you decided to join the war effort, believing you could do some good for your country. Nothing prepared you for the horrors you faced daily, the chaos and death that surrounded your every breath.

However you weren't alone in your pain. Your two best friends, Steve and Bucky had too joined the war. They along with the rest of the Howling Commandos were going on missions targeting Hydra bases. There was only so much they could tell you, but the little they did still left you uneasy. It just seemed so dangerous and you worried about the both of them- especially Bucky.

Bucky and you had only been dating for two years when news of the U.S. joining the war broke out. Yet after a lifetime of friendship you felt like he knew you better than anyone else in this world. You two had agreed that when the war was over, you would finally get married. These days it was your future plans with Bucky that gave you the strength to survive the war. That, along with the letters that he sent. Writing in detail about what missions he and Steve were on and how things were looking on his side of the war.

The rest of the day had passed by in a haze. By the time you returned to the nurses quarter on base, you feel the full weight of the day in the way that your back aches. Upon looking in the mirror you wince at the amount of blood that's caked into your face and hands. A shower lifts your spirits as you feel the stress from the day drain along with the water. Stepping back into the sleeping barracks, you squeeze past the crowd of nurses until you reached your cot. As you tuck your uniform away you see a letter placed on the pillow. Lifting it up with curiosity, you flip the envelope and a smile tugs at your lips.

Bucky.

You tear open the letter eagerly, it had only been a week since you had last heard from him but it felt like eternity waiting between letters. Unfolding the pages within your hand you read each line carefully, hearing his voice with each word, imagining as though he were reading it to you. As he told you about his latest mission, fear threatened to creep its way into your heart. Yet as you got to the last page, you inhaled a sharp breath- the world around you seeming to go quiet in that moment.

“Doll, I’ve done enough thinking, and I know what I want. I’ve loved you for a lifetime. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me and I know that there's no one else for me but you, y/n. I wish I could ask this in person but I cannot go another day without you knowing how much you mean to me. When the war is over we’ll get married and I’ll grow flowers like you, and your womb will carry the most beautiful girl in the universe. Make me the happiest man alive - will you marry me?”

You fell backwards onto your bed and closed your eyes, Bucky's words burned into your mind. Tears began to well up at your eyes as your heart soared at Bucky's proposal. Bucky wanted to build a life with you. You began to imagine your wedding day. The familiar faces that would gather to celebrate your love, what it would be like to become the mother to his children, and to be able to grow old with him. As you thought about this, you couldn't contain your excitement anymore. Hastily rising from bed, you make your way to the center of the room before grabbing the attention of your fellow nurses.

"I'm getting married!" You shouted, all the nurses turned to look at you before ensuing in cheerful screams. They all congratulated you and gave you and Bucky well wishes for the future.

As you and the nurses were still caught in the excitement of the news, you were suddenly interrupted when a knock rang on the barracks front door.

As everyone scurried to stand in formation, you felt relieved when you saw that it was Steve and Peggy who had walked through the door.

"Officer y/n, would you please come with us for just a moment?" Peggy speaks up.

Stepping out of formation, you grab your coat as you follow behind the two, stepping out in the cold winter air.

"Steve!"

"Angel." He coos as he brings you in for a hug. It had been about 8 months since you'd last seen him. While you were happy to see him, you were slightly taken aback to see him here.

"What on earth are you two doing here?" You breath out as you go to pull away from his embrace. When Steve's grip on you suddenly tightens, you're slightly confused. Looking up at Peggy and seeing the solemn look on her face you know that something was wrong.

“Steve?”

"I'll give you two a minute." Peggy excuses herself, making her way toward the field to give us some privacy.

“Steve, hey, hey, what's going on?" As he finally lets you go you look up into his eyes to see that they were glossy with tears threatening to spill over.

“Hey,” you hook a finger underneath his chin fixing his gaze from the ground onto you, "talk to me. I'm here, what's wrong?"

“It’s Bucky, he’s… he’s gone.”

A dreadful weight settles deep in the pit of your stomach as Steve looks at you in a way he's never before. So full of regret and heartache. You search his face for any type of deceit, any indication that what he said had been a terrible lie and that Bucky was alright- but to your avail you could find none.

Steve went on about the mission leading up to Bucky's final moments but it fell on deaf ears as your mind was anything but tethered to this reality.

"No, no." You mumble underneath your breath as you stumble backwards a bit.

"Woah-hey," Steve grabs a hold onto you, steadying your grounding. "I'm so sorry y/n."

“He can’t be gone," your voice comes out strained in a high pitch, "he just can’t be.” Your vision blurred as the crushing weight of reality settled within your head and within your heart.

Bucky was gone- for real this time. There was no rescuing him, there was no saving him.

You felt Steve wrap his arms around you as you buried your head into his chest. That seemed to be the tipping edge as before you knew it a sob began to wrack out of your lips. You cried for all the plans you've made. For the memories and time now stolen from you.

"We were supposed to get married." You manage to choke out between ragged breaths.

"I know, angel," he said softly. "I know."

When you returned to the barracks, it was lights out and you wanted nothing more than to go to sleep and wake up from this terrible nightmare. You found it cruel how the last time you were within these walls you were an engaged woman, and now you return a widow. Memories of Bucky plagued your every thought as your own grief made you restless, sleep evading you.

Bucky and you had shared a lifetime of memories. Growing into the versions of yourselves that both of you had come to love. Now they'll forever be a hole left where the rest of the story should have been written. When you return home, you'll return a widow. You'll never be able to hold him, to touch him, to marry him, have a family with him-

"I'll never love again", you thought to yourself. "There's no getting over you."

[phoenixcatch7]

Persephone captain marvel au. Hear me out.

Associated with duality, reincarnation, resurrection, childhood innocence (and it getting ripped away by adults), and her 'counterpart' Kore, which is her in her returning aspect of spring, youthfulness, new life... Come on. Is that not the closest thing to Billy you've ever seen in ancient Greece? Where he gets his powers?

It all starts with Teth Adam, and his devastation at the death of his son. He finds the old paths, breaks them open, and storms down into the underworld to demand him back. His is not a new story.

But where Persephone might ordinarily be inclined to ease her husband's scorn, give the troubled mourner a chance, she is speaking to the champion of magic, the world's mightiest mortal. The chance of success is too high. The challenge would not be enough. The death was too high profile and would risk too many attempting to follow in his footsteps. The man is too unstable, too powerful, too close to the heart of magic for it to be safe - for any of him - to grant his wish and risk his false hope.

They deny him.

Enraged, implacable, Teth Adam lashes out. The battle is long and drawn out, neither side tiring even as both weaken, but Persephone, in either form, is not one of war, and she is felled as her curses shatter, her furies tossed aside like dolls. The sound of Hades' scream as Adam's surprise leaves him open flattens the rubble of their throne room.

The wounded champion escapes, hounded by cerberus and skeletons instead of his son's shade, as her husband crashes to his knees beside her. She has not a mortal soul, and thus will be going where even Death cannot reach.

But Adam killed the goddess of reincarnation, and Billy has odd dreams. He's pretty sure he needs to ease up on the stress. He's restless in winter and distracted in summer, he can sleep outside in howling storms as long as he's tucked snug in the boughs of a tree, he's had the luck of never tasting a rotten fruit. Sometimes it feels like there's ghosts in his hideouts and the kids at school try and bribe him to curse their enemies.

When he chosen to be Captain Marvel the wizard chokes on his own speech when the smoke clears. They stare at each other.

"Well," says Persephone, "that was unexpected. Hullo."

"Hello," the wizard replies, "I was under the impression..."

"I don't think the laws of interference quite apply until I'm immortal again," he says.

The wizard's relief is palpable. It's understandable, he looks ready to keel over from old age. "Can I ask...?" he gestures at the new body. It takes a second to understand.

"Oh, I'm a boy now. For a while."

And that's that.

Until green lantern is killed in battle.

[chaotic-zora]

3 and 11 for all three, 8 for Thresh! 14 for Silvyr, and 22 for Nyvor

Thresh

3) What song describes your OC?

Thresh is purely vibes. I often imagine him fighting with this as his music:

Danca Mortal by Helex HH

8) What hobbies does your OC have? What do they do to unwind?

Thresh eat, sleeps, and breathes fighting lol. There's around a 70% chance you'll find them in the training field during their spare time, practicing new techniques or trying out different weapons (He's Volca's top warrior!).

He also enjoys weaponeering (designing & planning weapon attacks), and weapon creation, and has gone to the blacksmiths with some wild ideas (Can you tie a blade to the end of my tail? Okay hear me out ....exploding arrow bomb but with daggers. BOOM CARNAGE) most of which.....don't work.

Then there's his shopping addiction. Stressed? He's out buying daggers by the dozen to cope. Thresh alone could support Volca's dagger production. Find a dagger at the bottom of a communal pool? Probably Thresh's. See a pile of daggers in Nyvor's clinic? Yeah he's running out of places to store them. Got a gift from Thresh? Oh how sweet- it's a dagger.

11) What was your inspiration for your OC?

To be honest I simply wanted an unhinged silly shark who could FIGHT.

Silvyr

3) What song describes your OC:

Hmmm selecting the following for Silvyr's circumstances and choices:

Iron by Woodkid

11) What was your inspiration for your OC?

Silvyr's ice magic abilities are inspired by Sypha from Castlevania, but in terms of Silvyr themselves I wanted a character who put the safety, health, and happiness of their Domain and it's residents before themselves.

In order to protect their Domain Silvyr forgoed their childhood to train as a knight. This training paid off, and inevitably they became a Captain. Still, it wasn't enough, and to ensure their Domain's safety they made the 100 year lifespan sacrifice to amplify their magic, turning themselves into what many considered a lethal (and slowly deteriorating) weapon.

Then they planned and led a coup against the corrupt royals & nobles to save their fellow zoras from starvation, knowing if they were to be caught it would cost them their life. Even them retiring as a Captain and becoming a diplomat/advisor was a decision made for the benefit of their Domain.

To see their Domain and it's resident thrive brings them unending happiness.

Even when it comes at their own expense.

14) Who's a character your OC cannot stand! It's on sight when they see them!

Oooo this is an interesting one. Silvyr is fairly difficult to rile up, and they currently do not have any rivals.

HOWEVER, Thresh loovesss to test Silvyr's limits. Them taunting each other is basically an integral part of their long standing friendship. They trust each other implicitly but ooooo boy does Thresh get on Silvyr's NERVES sometimes.

Nyvor

3) What song describes your OC?

NO IDEA. Think a soft melody, maybe something instrumental, or about love.

11) What was your inspiration for your OC?

I wanted a big beefy healer. Someone who looked like they could kick ass but in reality would cry over seeing a spider get squished lol.

Nyvor: It was just doing it's job why would you do that ?!?

22) Fight or Flight? Are they a lover or a fighter?

Instant flight, Nyvor is always a lover!

As a medic, Nyvor has sworn an oath to do no harm upon others. He even removed his venom glands to ensure he could never kill someone by inadvertently biting them!

He is considered to be one of the most docile and gentle zoras within the Domain. There is little you can do to insignate his temper beyond harassing his patients and saying something bad about Thresh.

It's been a longggg time since I've drawn Nyvor so here's a current WIP!