#i can't sleep early
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I think I underestimated the CBD gummies... (medicinal from pharmacy, not actual drugs)
because I've been feeling like shit for weeks
so tired and my sleep scheduled is wrong and i feel more stressed and anxious continuously
and I just realized it's actually been weeks since I stopped eating them before going to sleep
why? idk I'm bad at keeping habits, I think I broke it by accident and then oops forgot about it
no wonder I've felt so bad
#my muscles hurt#i can't sleep early#i get very anxious#it all makes sense 🤦♀️#this makes me remember I actually need to look for a psychiatrist to get anxiety meds#it's just... my life you know? I'm improving in everything and yes i can do things#but the anxiety never goes away#and sometimes it's too much for me#and it's not even me being worried about one ir several things#*or#the anxiety is just there#fucking dread#uuhhh i'll have to find strategies to keep this habit specially if I were to get the anxiety meds
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if i had a heart, i could love you
my undying gratitude and awe to the incredible @cozymochi for bringing to literal life my vision of ob!Lilia :] let's all wish him a pleasant time as he keeps a steadfast soldier's watch over the dreams of a human boy he no longer recognizes and yet he cannot bring himself to leave his side . . . whatever could that mean?
(please click for high-res, tumblr why do you try to keep us from exquisite art)
#what if ur dad was ur sleep paralysis demon#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland silver#twst silver#lilia vanrouge#twst lilia#diasomnia#art for lettie#I CAN'T STOP STARING AT THIS OK#IM SO ENAMORED BY THE LITTLE DETAILS#THE THORNY BRIARS STILL GROWING TO ENCASE SILVER'S SLUMBER#THE MELANCHOLY EXPRESSION ON LILIA'S FACE#THE TORN AND INK SPLATTERED WINGSSSSS#IT'S SO CREEPY AND I LOVE ITTTT#EVERYONE SAY THANK YOU COZY FOR THIS EARLY HALLOWEEN TREAT#edit: bear with me as i figure out why this isn't showing in main tags im DEVASTATED
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kimona..
(please don't repost)
#kimona#ramona flowers#kim pine#headcanons#getting something in on the last day of pride month hi#scott pilgrim#i added a little yuri-ful detail..#wondering if anyone will pick up on it#i need to get up early tmr but brain said i can't sleep until i've drawn sapphic so
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bootlicker
keebs i did it i fixed what yours was missing bro !!! anyways good evening wriolette nation i hope you're eating well because i forgot to eat my birthday cake because i was drawing this !! wriothesley was my genuine reaction when i discovered neuvillette's thigh highs im ngl ANYWAYS everyone go check out my good bro @k33bsi (artist of the original art this one is based on) who will provide you... mostly with mdzs ngl but hey fandoms intersect in the most unexpected of ways maybe you guys will be into that
closeups under keep reading
#artwork#digital art#doodle#art#rkgkillust#illustration#genshin#genshin memes#genshin impact#wriothesley#neuvillette#wriolette#neuvithesley#old men yaoi ig#i don't like the term yaoi for reasons but the joke was too funny for me to resist#i kind of want to eat my birthday cake now but i know it's too late and i will regret it because i will not be able to digest it#that's what it felt like when i wasn't able to draw more fanart because i had to sleep early these past couple of days#i've been cranking out the fanart fr lately#it comes at the cost of not drawing as much original stuff in my sketchbook#side note but hoyo really skimped out on the muscle with wriothesley#it was at this moment that i realized i forgot to give wriothesley some GRISTLE ON HIS CHIN FUCK#know that i intended for some gristle#you can't tell me that he doesn't have sideburns like abraham lincoln
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early bird activities
#op#one piece#sanuso#usosan#sanji#usopp#sogeking#soba mask#stealth black#sogesoba#god usopp#black leg sanji#vinsmoke sanji#my art#mintart#SORRY THE QUALITY SUCKS I DID THIS DURING CLASS#DID NOT EXPECT TO CLEAN IT UP LATER BUT IT WAS RLY SILLY AND I WANTED TO SHARE IT BHGFKSDJ#he found the action figures usopp made for chopper im crying#sanji being an early bird and getting to be a lil cringe before everyone wakes up forgetting that#usopp is an insomniac and decides to give up on sleeping some days#WHY IS HE LIKE THIS!!!!!#thanks percy for the mental image of sanji setting up a romantic dinner IM CRRYINGGGG I HATE HIM#plsssss someone needs to draw that or ill do it UGHH I WISH I COULD PROJECT A MENTAL IMAGE USING MY BRAIN ALONE#he's soooooo#we all know usopp can't be weirded out by this because if he had access to the internet at a young age he'd be roleplaying on amino
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I don't know if I'm going to be heard but imo this was gaaras best era.
#gaara#sabaku no gaara#gaara of the sand#➜﹒DAILYSABAKU★#. EARLY#I need to go sleep early so can't post on 3AM guys... Sorry
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did you know that coo is canonically lonely? {shipaganza prompt by @veveisveryuncool}
#my art#my comics#starstruck dee#coo kirby#🎀💖#i think it would be hard being nocturnal when all your friends are diurnal and go to sleep early! i think it WOULD be lonely#in my headcanons waddle dees generally tend to go to bed early. like many other things about her starstruck's an outlier in that regard#she's often up at night stargazing when she can't sleep; but she is also the sort to tucker out suddenly and crash#also i think that coo CAN have a cozy little tree hollow with amenities! and stairs; so that his non-winged friends can visit anytime!#and the important one: is this canon to her storyline? not sure. i think... unlikely. but even if it was it might be a bit one-sided.#he's unlikely to confess to her (awake) face and she's dense as lead. you need to be really upfront with her or you'll get nowhere.#anyway. did i do it?? is this 💝Rhomance💝?#what if i wrote a four and a half page comic where coo the owl pined over my oc?? could anybody stop me? i think not!#“romantic comic about an owl and a circle” <- another banger comment left by veve and i think it about sums it up
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Seriously how can M*r*uders stans like random Slytherins (who tf are Evan Rosier, Pandora (is that Luna's mum and why tf is she Evan Rosier's twin in half of these), and I don't even want to discuss Regulus) and make them Actually Misunderstood Good People Who Were Forced Down That Path when at least one of them *coughreguluscough* was obsessed with Voldemort
And then turn around and make Snape an awful person?
#i saw a post with hcs about the marauders and the “slytherin skittles”#and i swear to god they gave everyone a lil nuance but snape was evil#just... how?????#im starting to wonder if they just can't accept that the marauders were actually horrible people as teens#and so in order to digest that they need to make snape awful to be like “Oh but he DESERVED it because he's So Awful”#it's just ridiculous#like i hate james but i can also acknowledge that he did ultimately love lily and harry and would have been a loving partner and dad#even if he was a fool#and i don't vibe well with sirius but i also acknowledge that he was fucking traumatised so yeah he wouldn't be the best person#why is it so hard for the marauders stans to understand that their faves tormenting a geniunely innocent child#because honestly? severus was innocent from the start#they're the ones who pushed him over the edge#I've said it once and I'll it again:#being into the Dark Arts doesn't automatically make someone evil#anyway i need to go sleep#or at least try. i got very pissed lmao#severus snape#pro snape#anti marauders fandom#(not even anti marauders as much its their fandom that pisses me off)#also#anti james potter#(just because i want to be petty UwU)#snape defense#also you know what#anti regulus black#<-whoever he was it wasnt what the fandom said#in my mind he was one of the worst out of the black cousins from an early age#(mostly as a mental Fuck You to the stans lmao)
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might be worth noting that tubbo got lore today because he made it canon he warped back from the boat.
i think this was confusing bc he wasn't sure initially how to play it (he is not a lore guy by trade we all know this), and waffled back and forth with it (with fun bits like "it's tuesday" or "it's a time rift"), but he definitely did make it canon.
he has the story: the boat didn't leave, he had his warpstone. he knew they would just steal him back, like they did the first time.
he has the reason: he desperately needed to see sunny before he left; couldn't sit idly by
and he made it clear that's what he wants to have happened. he told his chat to stop "-rp point"-ing him about it multiple times bc he's trying to make it canon (and told fit the same when he came back post-ghost bit).
he also asked sunny's admin whether she wanted their interactions to be filler or canon and she chose canon
plus he had a canon interaction with forever explaining it and asking him to watch over his daughter
and he and sunny built things and interacted with each other based specifically off the info he was kidnapped, that he will have to go, and that they both knew it was coming
so while you may have to ignore or recontextualize some of the goofier interactions when he initially came back (phil/etoiles/fit stuff esp), tubbo did come back, the code attack did happen, it's already been fit into the lore, and i don't doubt sunny is going to tell fit about it this week!!
#qsmp#qsmp tubbo#i think he is largely laying low out of fear of being taken back early also bc sunny doesn't want him far from home#uhh restless djing while she sleeps aside#it's obviously a little awkward but i think it's easy enough to imagine why pac (guy who responds so well to being kidnapped historically)#might be too stuck in his own head to even think of leaving the boat#etoiles i can speak to less but like a lot of things have to be explained away#bc it's a minecraft server and people aren't always on tubbo is one of the only people who'd even be on today usually anyway#but regardless tubbo made it clear what he wants his canon to be and the admins followed suit#i for one am excited for fit resistance lore with the codes acting up and not code-tamer etoiles to help#also what will he do with sunny he can't just leave her to do his tasks#and she typically stays on way longer than ramon usually does esp since he came bacl#but this is another post entirely i just want to see the man of secrets be kindergarten cop'd#that and vibrating about purg 2
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guys please pray for me
#I don't know how to explain what's going on but I'm struggling and don't know how to get a handle on it#I think that there's two issues going on that are probably somewhat intertwined because I'm fixating on them as such#so maybe I need to separate out the one that is stupid and I shouldn't be fixating on it#and then just focus on the other thing as it is and not as a symptom of whatever else#idk but it's so weird and complicated that I just can't figure out how to explain it#and I've gone to my mom over stuff related to this enough lately so I won't again#idk I'm just. maybe I'm having a hard time because I'm so tired. I've been getting up early every day this week#and yet still can't fall asleep earlier so I'm not getting enough sleep I don't think.#I haven't had a break since friday#maybe that's part of it#bc I was fine for a while and then this week I'm fixating on what ifs and my own failures (that are somewhat out of my control#because I... don't know how to capture my thoughts while I'm literally mostly asleep? probably habit when I'm awake lol)#so i think there's a level of spiritual attack making me fixate and also just#tiredness#yeah.#anyway.#prayer request
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all my haters become taters in my hash browns of success
#had this thought and then said out loud 'surely this can't be the same brain that's supposed to get me thru the rest of my life'#ace txt#anyway I need to wake up early tomorrow to run a stupid little 5K and I really don't want to so I'm procrastinating sleeping
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What if in 1999 the hex are trapped in a time loop of infinite new year's eve and we free them from the Indifference with the power of love (new year's kiss)
#warframe 1999#warframe#I have to wake up super early tomorrow and can't sleep#so ofc I'm thinking#I know the romance is optional#but I can see the kiss being between Aoi and Arthur if you don't date anyone#or idk Albrecht get reunited with Loid and say gex kills Wally
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#it's 1:30am and I can't sleep so have this early morning wholesome wednesday doodle#I actually really like this but can't tell if it's actually good or if I'm just super tired XD#they're taking a selfie if it's hard to tell idk#gap tooth tails just cause I thought it'd be cute#wholesome sonic and tails wednesday#sonic#sonic the hedgehog#sth#tails#miles tails prower#Tails Miles Prower#doodles#my art
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I just want my passion back man idk why that's so much to ask for
#pom ponders#personal#my favorite part of the day used to be any extra time i had to write#i desperately miss the days where i woke up early all on my own excited because it meant extra time to write#now even just thinking about writing can make me so tired and drained#i can't write anymore and I'm so upset about it#I've spent the last four months sobbing because it's basically ruined for me#i was so happy...i want it back#i still have stories to tell and i love them so much#but trying to get them out has turned into a chore and i feel like I've lost a part of myself#some days i feel so sick over it that i can barely eat#I've lost so much sleep over this#it's not fair...i didn't do anything wrong...#I'm still being punished for doing what was ultimately the right thing and i don't understand#i want to want to write again#delete later
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Just to minimize my chances of being genuinely misunderstood OR deliberately misinterpreted, and crucified for something I don't think, How Dare You Say We Piss on the Poor website etc...I'm gonna say this right up top. I absolutely understand why people don't like Thessaly as a character, if anyone does completely unironically stan her as some kind of feminist hero who Did Nothing Wrong uwu, I personally see it as a bit of a red flag. I don't like terfs real or fictional. In a vacuum, I could even completely sympathize and agree with the people who want her cut.
HOWEVER.
It's really something to me to see people clamoring for her to be cut, because she carries and expressed an ugly indefensible prejudice (transphobia) in words towards (1) person. Meanwhile Hob fucking Gadling enacted one of the most violent forms of antiblack racism I can even think of against thousands no, millions of people, the ripple effects of which still affect billions more today. Just a little light idk, profiting off the fucking slave trade and had to be told by someone else that it was bad...and he's a fan favorite.
People are saying Thessally being Dream's love interest reflects badly on him or is somehow endorsement by the narrative (?!?!?!?!?!? Didn't she (SPOILER ALERT AS IF IT MATTERS BY NOW) help participate in his extended assisted suicide? She's not painted as a great person to me just another character what are y'all SMOKING whatever fine. It's fine this is fine.) But shipping Dream with Mr. Former Slaver is not only not verboten or frowned on widely in the fandom but its THEE most popular pairing by far. So...why the difference?
Like where are the same fans who are saying Thessaly shouldn't just be more clearly shown to be wrong, she shouldn't even be in the show at all when it comes to Hobert's crimes??? Yes, transphobia is indefensible. Isn't racism?
And I hear the cries of "it's fiction!!!" Already rallying (if anyone who needs to hear this even sees it lol) to which I say:
HORSESHIT. I KNOW you don't, deep down, really agree because if you did, why get upset about Thessaly being included??? Why does what she said to one person matter if it's Just Fiction You Guyze. Fictional characters are allowed to do bad things and fiction isn't reality sweaty....except when you only apply that standard to fictional racists you like and simp for, but fictional transphobes you don't are SO HARMFUL they shouldn't even be portrayed in fiction.
Like. Give me a big fat BREAK. This looks like bullshit, no? I'm sorry, but I'd love for someone to try and give any other explanation besides one personally offended you or hit home for you, and the other doesn't.
And if that bothers you or you feel like it says something negative about you...idk what you want me to say??? You can't control how other people perceive you and that's how people outside this majority-of-the-fandom bubble see it. You don't need to respond, I just wish and genuinely hope this gives you a moment to think about why fans who ARE bothered by both (and not just paying lip service to being bothered by the one but railing against the other) are so frustrated with people saying everyone is welcome but in practice only bending over backwards for the comfort and emotions of themselves, and people they can easily relate to.
You don't have to like Thessaly (I don't. I find her an interesting antagonist, I don't stan her. And frankly imo likability is not. the point of her character) but you'll pardon me for feeling more than a bit cynical and side eying people's motivations for what seems a...pretty obvious double standard, on what fictional crimes related to real world issues matter to y'all, and which clearly don't. Either actually bring the same energy to the table for fictional people who committed atrocities, even if against a group you're not part of and thus don't feel the need to empathize with, or just carry on, but accept that you don't have the SLIGHTEST room to talk about cutting characters who do immoral things. And you also need to accept that you look like a hypocrite when you do.
#thessaly#wanda the sandman#hob gadling#fandom racism#I could've cried sexism!!! Problematic Male vs Female Characters except 1) I don't actually think that's the main reason *here*#2) there are WAY better examples of that particular double standard in this fandom#also i can admit when I'm a bit of a hypocrite or was.#i used to dip my toes into the dreamling stuff too early on#but idk. It just got too sour seeing ppl whitewash (lol I know I'm a comedian)#what he did over and over. And I genuinely had started to wonder#if the show hadn't included that particular crime and I'd just imagined it from the comics because#my memory is shit sometimes and I guess I was naive. I *wanted* to believe someone would talk aboutit#if it had made it in. but ultimately i went back and checked and no#and seeing how the whole fandom behaving affected my non-white mutuals some of whom...#like these are my friends man or ppl I just respect and I can't just. Ignore their feelings and their pov#and act like they werent making points or it doesn't matter#like it's all just fun and games for everyone on the same terms. And seeing how easy it was#for everyone to ignore was so unsettling. I couldn't keep pretending it was just fiction and didn't affect anyone real#Call me a bully a t3rf apologist (fuck you and for the record. no)#a puritan or a Fancop (actually stop comparing#people disagreeing with you online to what cops do. For fucks sake you just make it look like nothing is really real to you outside fandom)#whatever man. Whatever helps you sleep. I'm just gonna block you#if you're clearly sticking your fingers in your ears. engaging with you is a waste of time and energy then#Hell I have sympathy for anyone who doesn't like thessaly#especially trans fans. Especially rn. But lbr that sympathy for a lot of the white trans/queer fans only goes one way!!!#never gets extended to anyone else's issues. Like THATSthe issue. And it's shitty!#(sorry this post is not about me in the confessional lol that's why I put this at the bottom#I just had feelings to get out and yes its my blog but i didn't want to clog the airways)
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#2:22#sleepiest girl on planet earth is too lazy to take new pics but feels super cute in the ones from the other day#i can't wait to sleep in tomorrow#i feel like i've been staying up mad late and waking up super early recently and my brain + body is ready for some good sleep#mine#my post#my photo#myself#send anons#send asks#anons welcome#my face#selfie#personal#selfie tag#mirror selfie#mirror pic#bedroom selfie#septum ring#septum piercing#girls with piercings#septum#sleepy girl#lazy girl#its meeee#alternative fashion#girls of tumblr#late night selfies#late night post#curly hair
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