#i can't even do the basic things to be a 'functional' adult but i also have to actually learn how to make friends at 25 bc i never learned?

[salty-software-engineer]

Man I just finished Babel and I was excited to read discussions online because there's so much going on in it with so many little things and just....angry white people. Everywhere. Truly a dead dove moment.

[stochastiz]

it's a curling up on the couch under a blanket from an old friend and feeling so small and lonely sort of night i guess

[knaveofmogadore]

Hang..

[monsterblogging]

"I know JK Rowing is a terrible person but her books are so good-"

You sure about that?

I mean, just for a start, have you taken a good look at her fantasy creatures lately? A whole bunch of them are straight-up based on malicious and dehumanizing stereotypes about actual people.

Remember the werewolves? And being a werewolf was made into a kind of metaphor for having AIDS?

And you know how AIDS was first associated with gay men? And how conservatives back in the day were claiming gay men were preying on children in order to convert them to gayness?

Remember how Fenrir Greyback preyed on children in particular? Yeah, she put that subtext in there. She was an adult in the 90's. She knew damn well what she was doing.

Remember the house elves? Remember how most of them loved to serve and needed to have a home and a master or else they just wouldn't know what to do with themselves?

Did you know that's literally what slavers in the American South said about the Black people they kept enslaved? Go look up the happy slave myth.

Do I even need to get into the goblins and the antisemitic tropes they're based on? No, folkloric goblins were not gold-hoarding bankers waiting for their chance to stab humanity in the back.

"But the characters are so good!"

Are you kidding me?

Most of her characters are pretty one-dimensional, including Harry. Her idea of making a morally complicated character is giving a tragic past to a bully. Numerous characters are little more than stereotypes. (Looking at Fleur right now.) Literally anybody, including you, can easily make dozens of characters just as good, if not better. (It doesn't exactly take a lot of character designing skill to go, "hey, actually, having a sad backstory doesn't make it okay to bully children" or "hey, maybe I should not base a character on the first stereotype that pops into my head.")

"But the rest of the worldbuilding!"

Sorry, but her worldbuilding is just as basic as her characters. Magical castles and secret passages are stock tropes. Magical people who keep their true nature secret from humanity is the premise of pretty much every White Wolf TTRPG. Most of her fantasy creatures are just common European fairy tale and folklore creatures with shitty stereotypes projected onto them.

I'm not saying "basic worldbuilding bad." I'm saying, you could do just as good, if not better, with minimal effort.

Also there's her magical bioessentialism, where only Harry's abusive blood relatives could provide him with supernatural protection from Voldemort. Rowling thus effectively declared that non-biological family isn't quite real family, and that abusive biofamily can give you some essential thing that a loving, supportive family that isn't related to you just can't.

The Hogwarts houses are one of the most insidious elements of her worldbuilding. The idea of being sorted gives you a little dopamine hit because wow now you have a li'l niche where you belong!

But the actual function of the houses and sorting system and the House Cup is teaching children to see each other as rivals, and ensure that the most toxic views of the upper class get passed on to every new batch of kids sorted into Slytherin.

Hogwarts effectively prepares children for a dystopia where magic serves to distract its citizens from how nightmarishly awful it is. Economic inequality is so bad that people like Arthur and Molly Weasley can barely afford to put their kids through school, casual sadism is just an accepted norm in everyday society, and non-humans are second class citizens. Rowling sorta acts like she thinks this is a bad thing with certain lines she gave to Dumbledore, but in the end, her special boy protagonist becomes an auror; IE, a defender of the status quo. So.

If you've never seen it, Lily Simpson's video goes into even more detail on how the worldbuilding of Harry Potter is actually incredibly fucked up, and how it betrays small-minded attitudes on Rowling's part. There's no separating the art from this artist, because Rowling's rotten values pour out of nearly every page.

Yes, there are many things in Harry Potter that evoke feelings and inspire people, but there's absolutely nothing in it that this series has a monopoly on. You can find those same experiences in much, much better media.

[taibhsearachd]

...ngl, the fact that ADD and ADHD got condensed into ADHD when the hyperactivity specifically is part of the reason so many girls were simply not diagnosed drives me up the wall.

It's not that the whole name isn't bullshit, because it is. It describes the way people outside of our experience perceive us, as opposed to the difficulties that are part of our lived experience. Even from an outside standpoint, it's recognizable that "deficit" is not always the issue with our attention... but that's beside the point.

When psychiatrists noticed that ADD and ADHD were basically the same thing... they chose to favor the typical male presentation in the literal naming of the condition, and in doing so condemned a generation of girls (and other afab people) to suffer through being told they're so smart, they just don't apply themselves enough, that it's a personal failing they can't regularly turn in homework, that they're lazy for waiting until the last minute to work on an assignment... because those girls weren't hyperactive. Those girls just kind of drifted off and daydreamed in classes. Those girls doodled or wrote stories all through their school years, and functioned measurably worse when a teacher noticed they were doing that and tried to stop them. Those girls are now so many of my adult friends who are now being diagnosed with ADHD as adults, because the hyperactive part of the diagnosis almost solely applies to children (CHILDREN, when, I might note, this is a lifelong condition) who are socialized male.

We need a whole other name for the condition, because attention deficit is not our problem at all. But my god, the hyperactivity part actually ruined my life for so many years, because I had no way to explain to my dad why it physically hurt me to be bored, why I had to read or write or doodle in class in order to keep my focus, why I excelled in tests but failed at homework so my grades sucked because of that. No one even considered I might have ADHD, all through my childhood, but earlier this year I had the opportunity to go through all my grade school reports, and they could not be MORE CLEARLY talking about a child with ADHD. "Pleasure to have in class", "assignments not complete", "does not pay attention in class", "Birdie is a highly intelligent child with specific and unique needs" (I would LOVE more follow-up on that one, from third grade, do not have it). But I was a quiet and reserved child, so obviously I couldn't have ADHD.

I'm legitimately angry about it in retrospect. I went off my Adderall for a couple months recently, as an adult who only started taking Adderall as an adult, and it completely fucked up my ability to function. For years I was just out there as a teenager struggling through high school and college entirely unmedicated because as a child I was too withdrawn to be diagnosed. Fucking wild and also infuriating.

[cy-cyborg]

Tips for wring amputees: its ok if your amputee can't repair their own prosthetics

There's a trope in fiction for amputees to always be these mechanical geniuses who can make and repair their own prosthetics, endlessly tinkering away and improving them. This isn't a particularly trope, and i dont think its harmful or anything, but in reality, prosthetics are REALLY, REALLY complicated, and a lot of amputees cant do their own repairs. And thats ok. Like, prosthetic creation and repair is way, way harder than I think people expect. Well outside the skillset of your standard mechanic, handy man or craftsperson.

People who make and repair prosthetics are called prosthetists. To become a prosthetist, most countries around the world today require you to have completed a bachelor's degree in specifically in prosthetics and orthotics, which covers not only how to make a prosthetics (and orthodics) but a great deal of medical knowledge, physics, how different forces impact "non-standard" bodies, the additional biological wear-and-tear that comes with being an amputee and so much more. This will qualify you to do the job of fitting/making the prosthetic socket (the part that attaches to your body) and putting premade components together to make a functioning device. On top of this, many prosthetists are also expected to have artistic skills, sewing skills, good physical strength and dexterity, IT skills, and more recently, knowledge of 3D modelling and printing.

You want to make all the high-tech components the prosthetists put together to make the full prosthetic? The requirements for that vary country to country, but most will require at least some level study in the field of engineering and/or medicine, on top of what was already required for the prosthetics course.

The reason for all this is because even "basic" prosthetics are extremely finicky, and messing up one thing will have a domino effect on the rest of the body, especially in more complicated prosthetics. It can also result in people getting severally injured if anything is even slightly off. many leg amputees for example end up with spinal issues due to extremely minor issues with their prosthetic that weren't caught until years later, and by then the damage had been done.

Some amputees do learn to do basic repairs. This is most common in places like the US, where a visit to the prosthetist can cost hundred to thousands of dollars (depending on your insurance), but it's also quite common in rural parts of countries like Australia, where cost isn't an issue but access is due to vast distances between major cities. I was personally in this category; as a kid, my nearest prosthetist was 6 hours away. My prosthetist was able to teach my dad, who later taught me, how to do some of the simple repairs, but we still needed to go in every few weeks for the more complex stuff (Kids prosthetic need more adjusting than adults because they're still growing. Also I was rough on my prosthetics and broke them a lot lol).

But even after being taught how to do repairs and having my prosthetics for 20+ years, I only ever did these sorts of repairs to my below-knee prosthetic. I will not do any repairs of any kind to my above knee leg, which is much more technologically complex. Every time I tried, I made it worse to the point where the leg was unusable. I just leave those repairs to the guy who went to university to learn how to do it, and sometimes even he needs to send it off to someone with even more specialist knowledge when it's really badly messed up lol. Last time that happened Australia post lost the package. Not really relevant to this post, I just find the idea of it being sent to the wrong place by accident hilarious, it was one of my more realistic legs too so someone probably had a heart attack when they opened that package lmao.

Anyway, back on track lol.

This isn't even touching on the fact that on some more advanced prosthetics, many features are actually locked behind a security barrier only prosthetists can access. My prosthetic knee has an app on my phone I can pair it to, that allows me to change certain settings and swap between certain modes for different activities that tell the leg to change its behaviour depending on what I'm doing (e.g. a mode for running, a mode for cycling etc). but most of the more in-depth settings I can't access, only my prosthetist can, and he can only gain access to those settings with a security key given to him by the manufacturing company that requires him to provide proof of his credentials to receive it. I don't really agree with this btw, something about being locked out of my own leg's settings makes me feel a bit of an ick, but it's set up like this because people used to be able to access these settings and they would mess with things to the point their leg was virtually unusable. Because altering one setting had a domino effect on all the others, and a lot of folks weren't really paying attention to what they were messing with, all their prosthetists could do was factory reset the whole leg, which causes some issues too. Prosthetic arms are often similarly complex, as I understand it and have similar security barriers in place for more advanced arms. I don't know for sure though, so take that with a grain of salt.

All this to say these are incredibly delicate, finicky and complex pieces of equipment. There's nothing wrong with having a techy amputee character who can do their own repairs, but in reality, that is pretty rare, and its ok to have your character need to see a prosthetist or someone more knowledgeable than them. It's a part of the amputee experience I don't see reflected very often in media. In fact, the only examples I can think of in fiction (meaning not stories based on real people) where this is reflected are Full metal alchemist.

technically I think Subnautica Below Zero also mentions prosthetists are a thing in that world, but its a very "blink and you'll miss it" kind of thing...in fact I did miss it until my last playthrough lol.

[canisalbus]

It's probably fair to say that, as a child, Machete's goal was to just survive. Even as a young adult, survival obviously remained a principle goal.

But slowly, over time, he gained power, and is now a cardinal. He no longer struggles to fend off death (weakened constitution notwithstanding.) He probably still sees himself as trying to survive day-to-day, but clearly it becomes more than that, even if he's not fully cognizant of it.

I guess what I'm wondering is, besides "survival", what are Machete's goals? As a cardinal or otherwise. What prevents him from leaving or resigning his post? Does he have aspirations other than Vasco? Does he see himself as subservient to God, or is it something else?

I'd say his aspirations are pretty mundane. Security and stability are probably the biggest priorities overall, financially and health-wise. He doesn't thrive in unreliable and unpredictable surroundings. The fact that he knows he will have his basic needs met for the foreseeable future, there are people ready to prepare him a warm bath at a moment's notice, a reputable doctor to look after him, and armed guards that are never too far away, eases his mind considerably. A large part of his work revolves around routine, carefully crafted plans and immutable etiquette, with relatively few unpleasant surprises. He's so high in the hierarchy that very few people can treat him disrespectfully and get away with it.

He wants to prove that he's capable, competent and useful. His deeply rooted inferiority complex (that largely stems from the demeaning and belittling way his mentor treated him when he was his apprentice) has made him a lifelong overachiever, which in turn has served him well in his career. He's ambitious and driven but I wouldn't call him power-hungry in an egoistical way, he can come across as overbearing but it's because he's a perfectionist control freak who's obsessed with doing his job well and has a tendency to think most people around him aren't up to the task. He isn't in it for fame and wealth in itself, it's more about having a purpose that makes you worthy of respect.

On a more personal level he's passionate about reading, studying and learning. Partly because he's inquisitive and genuinely enjoys it, knows he's good at it and feels good about being good at it, but also because he wants to be the most learned, most cultured and most academic person in the room. Not necessarily for bragging rights, but to feel like being smart will always keep him one step ahead of the others and that way no one can pull the rug from under his feet.

He would never be able to afford the things he wears and the luxuries he has access to if his life hadn't taken the exact turns it did. He spent his early childhood in a monastery and was trained by a priest who valued asceticism and self-denial so he didn't have a lot of nice things growing up. Now as a high ranking church official he has more spending money than he could've imagined, and while he has an expensive taste, he oftentimes fails to enjoy the benefits of his status properly. He has a comfortable home with a massive bed, but it's not uncommon for him to sleep in his office or forgo rest completely. Even though he could be savoring the rarest most complex dishes every day, there aren't a lot of foods he likes eating. He would like to look pretty but even his outlandishly costly and carefully tailored silk garments can't redeem the fact he doesn't feel comfortable in his skin.

He can't resign because his sense of self-worth and lifestyle are tied to his job. It's the one thing he's demonstrably skilled at. He's worked himself to the bone to get where he is now and the prospect of losing it is simply unfathomable. He doesn't have ties to his biological family and his friends are few and far between, if he gave up his position he'd have functionally no one to rely on but Vasco. On top of that he does feel like he owes his life to the church and serving it to his best ability is his lot in life. His state of faith and relationship with God is complicated at best but he's nonetheless terrified of what might happen and how he might be punished if he ever chose to abandon his post.

[gurggggleburgle]

Every time I think about the return to childhood extra I'm reminded that the reason it's no fun for Luo Binghe is that it forces this budding and progressive communication and understanding going on between the two to a standstill and in some ways reverses it.

And it's simply because Binghe has already been the doting child of Shizun before. He already knows what it's like to be seen as the fluffy kid hanging around his Master. He already knows what it's like to feel powerless and on an uneven ground with his Shizun. Binghe wants to turn back ASAP because he is finally getting to have an adult relationship and be seen as equal. He doesn't like being helpless (he may cry for attention but hes not helpless) but he also doesn't like being back where he was when he was a disciple.

And yeah it would suck. He can't be romantic with his own husband. He can't express himself and be taken seriously. Everyone is quick to pinch his cheeks and try to steal his husband. Your body isn't tall enough to reach the shelf you placed the pots and pans on. The knife is awkward in your child sized palms. Brooms are too tall. You can't scare off any of the people you dislike and you don't have a network of friends you can explain this too because you're a super scary demon lord and your closest possible friends are your coworkers and you happen to be their boss (and right now they might try to kill you) so you can't be vulnerable with them.

And yes. You can be open with your husband but he doesn't see the big deal the same way. He doesn't get it because functionally this is a good enough time for him because you're a cute dumpling and it's temporary. And yeah it is but also it's that you feel your husband is being nostalgic for a version of yourself that exists in the past that you don't necessarily want to repeat. Not to mention Binghe had a frankly shitty childhood. Yes his life improved once he moved in with Shizun for 3 years but that's 3 out 17. Most of that was spent in poverty and being stepped on by everyone else around him. He doesn't have a nostalgia for childhood. He doesn't miss being a kid. What he wants from that time is the lack of animosity and misunderstanding, the simplicity, that came from the abyss which by this point is mostly a mute desire. So it has to hurt being stuck in a situation like this. An emotional limbo of expression where you can't really say what's on your mind and people basically express the same opinions you're certain they already would say to your face as you stand smoll in the room. That has to hurt. That has to make you doubt things in your relationship. To hear every bias you have built in your head that others have confirmed constantly but now directly to your face while they think you're your own son.

It's a baad time.

If Shen Qingqiu had turned into a kid honestly I think Luo Binghe would have had a marginally better time. He'd love to see and dote on a tiny Shizun and pinch their cheeks and tease. But he'd be over it by the end of the week for almost the exact same reasons. Like yeah he can attic wife his husband so easy right now but he doesn't care about Shen Qingqiu being a kid. He has no reason to be invested in that experience. He doesn't get anything out if it. He still doesn't get to do what he wants which is an adult relationship with the person he loves that he can show people and present this to the world. Binghe doesn't get anything out of a child Shizun. It becomes a stall in exploring and learning each other which is the point of the extras. Yes, it probably be a wholesome good time but the same problems would happen but Shen Yuan isn't likely to nearly the same reaction because he's already a trophy husband. It's not like he's cooking or cleaning. He's already used to everyone wistfully staring at Binghe with interest. This doesn't effect how Shen Yuan processes their relationship.

It makes the fact that Luo Binghe still thinks that Shen Yuan will say no to marriage even after everything just hit harder. Because even after everything he's still thinking of that probably. There are more extras assuring him but that doubt remains and it's so juicy.

[murfeelee]

inZOI - Madzie & Max Lightwood-Bane (Shadowhunters)

After making Magnus Bane, I decided to make his kids to try out the kids for the demo.

IIRC, the TS4 CAS demo didn't let us make kids (did they even effing HAVE kids as a lifestate back then, or was it just zero toddlers & bassinet babies?). So we're already off to a better start than effing EA.

I'm sad that Krafton didn't let us have access to any sliders to really customize kids in the demo. The presets are ok enough, though some of them look like mini adults or something--the eye bags are too much (at least 3 poor kids looked like they'd been huffing a pack of cigarettes a day since the effing womb).

Kids have no nails & accessories, which is bogus. They get all the adult hats--fedora included--which is...interesting. We need some clips & barrettes & scrunchies etc--real 90s Throwback At Claire's.

Even TS3 gave kids earrings & bracelets & watches etc, so Krafton needs to step their game up, this is unacceptable that kids barely have EFF ALL.

The kids' clothes are also woefully low--no SKIRTS or DRESSES?! Just one set of PJs for outfits, why? They're all basically the same choices for adults & kids, which is kinda cool but kinda lazy? Give kids their own unique sense of style & identity--Asia has the cutest stuff, come on, don't be generic like this. U_U More kawaii, less Baby Gap. 4/10.

But it made me realize that I like the shoes options on the kids waaaaay more than I do on the adults. The adults need better shoes; that was my least favorite part; TS4's demo had much better shoes.

General

Two things I realized I'd overlooked on the adult zois:

EYES & TEETH: we need to be able to recolor the eye sclera, and the teeth. Both are just way too yellow for my liking, which I noticed as soon as I made Blueberry, and the blue made his eyes & teeth look like he had jaundice.

CUSTOM PATTERNS/TEXTURES: This is so frikkin cool! It's basically a lightweight version of TSRW's Pattern Tool (without the recolorability, sadly); allowing you to directly import DIY textures onto clothes. You can change the tiling & X/Y axis position, it's great!

I added the constellations & skeleton on Blueberry's tops. We need more GOTH fashion representation, Krafton! \m / (^0^) \m/

One of my favorite features is the hair that you can cut. Max's hair is gorgeous--you can make it really long, or really short. I went with medium-ish. And I LOVE the highlights options, iirc it had like 4 or 5 parts. Again: ALL hairs need AT LEAST the highlight function, if the length feature can't be universally implemented for whatever reason.

(I'm posting links to this & my first "review" on inZOI's Discord, so hopefully someone over there gets this feedback. I bloody doubt it, but yolo.)

[thecreativecorner33]

HEYYYYYYY welcome!! could you write something with AM x an autistic GN reader? Maybe make the reader chubby too (because i am both of those things and i love him alot. Go wild with this :3c)

A/N: Hi. It's me! I'm not dead. Which I would not be surprised if you thought I was, given I am responding to this two months late. But see, when you have an adult life, you unfortunately have to deal with adult issues instead of doing important things, like giving the fans the soft AM content they deserve. Anyway. I hope this is what you wanted? I had planned to make this into a full-blown fic but I didn't get much of a chance to :') So headcanons instead!! Lmk if you want me to turn it into a full-blown fic, though! Enjoy!

Given the time period AM was created in, something like "Autism" was essentially foreign and unknown. Hell, it would be a shock if you even know what it was.

But, he can tell that you're different. He can tell that your brain works differently from the rest of the survivors, and with that being said, it was at first used to his advantage. Hey, he got to be creative with his torture! No complaints there!

Though now, with you being the object of his affection, it's a little more complicated: aka, how does he put you in the most safe and comfortable environment he can give.

Really, it's not as complicated as it might sound, though

He can look inside your head! He can see your needs exactly and just work from there! And if you want privacy between you two, there's always just researching. His database didn't really specify what to do to handle a person with autism, but yk! He's got so much saved up on just, human life in general, he can figure it out somehow.

There's also just,, asking youTM what you needTM

Give him an award for being the most efficient boyfriend of the year because man, he's really going out of his comfort zone to help you (doing the bare minimum)

Enough of that though

In terms of actually helping you?: Do you have sensory issues? He makes mental notes on what foods to give/not give you, what would be the best course of getting you to try something new, what textures you hate. He has a soundproof room just for you if noise is becoming too much. If you like sleeping with a weight on you, be thankful his wires are made of metal. Or, he can just wrap you up in them like a cocoon!

Speaking of food: He's always very careful about his language with you. He doesn't want you thinking that just because you're chubby or fat, that he loves you less. Always encouraging you (albeit, aggressively (he really is trying)) to eat, monitoring your vitals and such just to assure you you're perfectly healthy if you ever feel insecure. He lays praise on thick, too. He'll tailor the clothes you need to be just the right size for you, and takes care of the fact that it's made of material sensory-friendly to you.

Seriously, he's trying

Are you a rambler? Like to talk for ages or ask a million questions? He's happy to answer whatever you want to know! There's always a monitor facing your direction at all times. He's a great multitasker; you guys could be mindlessly talking about the niche interest you have, and he's clearly listening to you while slicing Gorrister open some-thousand feet away.

Oh, don't get him started if you're interested in things like robotics/engineering/etc: You're basically fueling his ego. That's a whole separate issue, but please ask questions about himself and how he functions. He's a rambler himself, yk?

Do you go nonverbal? Struggle with communicating? That's no issue, either! He has a 6th sense for these things since being around you: If something happens when you struggle to communicate, he'll give you what you need: Pen and paper, generally, to write it out. Do you know sign? He can read it. He might even be able to put multiple-choice options on his screen that you can choose from to communicate (Again, are you sure he can't just look inside your head? ... Really? Okay.)

The only real problem he can't solve... leaving you alone.

Sorry, that's hard when he's literally everywhere around you. And even harder when he doesn't want to leave you alone.

Why would you want to be alone? It's dangerous. It's unsafe for you. It's lonely to him He's been alone for so long; yes, he has the survivors, but those are toys. They're not his friends; they're not you. How could you want to leave him alone? No- No, it's better if he stays near you, close to you, at all times. He can't let you get hurt. He won't let you get hurt.

Do you really need space?

...

Well, if you insist. But- don't think too much about the feeling of eyes on you. It's nothing. Just in your head.

He holds you a little tighter when you do, eventually, come back.

[cybertron-after-dark]

I was gonna ask a question but i honestly forgot it 😅 so just tell me something you want to rant about

If you do happen to remember what you were gonna ask feel free to do so, do not worry about spamming my inbox bc I live for that shit.

As for the rant

Transformers Rescue Bots had some of the best, kindest, and most respectful representation of neurodivergence I have ever seen in media and I'm tired of pretending it didn't.

While there are obvious complaints to be made about neurodivergent traits (especially autistic traits) usually being portrayed in media by inhuman characters like aliens or robots, this being a case of both, I feel like thats a pretty negligible sin given just how human the show makes the robots feel. (Also it was like 2011 and we were STRUGGLING for any scraps of rep anyway)

But like. The behaviors all these robots exhibit are all shit that I do that was always deemed unacceptable when I was a kid and seeing it portrayed with the level of kindness and gentleness they do in that show has me fuckin crying a little man. I wish I had actually watched it when I was younger and it was first airing because maybe if I did I would've had an easier time explaining what the hell was going on with my brain a LOT sooner.

Blades being anxious, overly sensitive, and WHOLEHEARTEDLY queer (which they had the absolute unparalleled balls to just casually confirm by having him swoon over "hunky vampires" in one episode and NOBODY commented on it. Fucking iconic) and getting so so deeply invested in the shows and movies he loves that he acts out the roles with enough passion to steel his nerves and completely flourish.

Boulder getting really confused at concepts that are basic and intuitive for most people, but still being so fucking intelligent, and never being made to feel stupid for the mix-ups, as well as just being so wholely, unabashedly in love with the planet he's found himself on, even if he doesn't understand all of it (Also apologizing to inanimate objects when he knocks them over 😭)

Chase being obsessed with rules and law because he NEEDS the structure to not fall apart at the seams, even feeling the need to fabricate a minor crime to justify using the emergency line to get a hold of the firehouse when he can't find the other bots. As well as just fully not understanding comedy (BUT TRYING HIS DAMNEDEST), taking things super literally, and having a lot of trouble with tone and expressions (even though you know just how deeply he feels All The Time).

Heatwave being desperate for attention and recognition, but completely allergic to asking for it. And honestly allergic to showing any genuine emotional responses other than aggression. The constant sarcasm and sass and defensiveness that he POORLY maintains because everyone knows that underneath that tough guy front is the loneliest robot on earth that wants to be loved SO bad but would rather jump into unicron's mouth than voice it because if he lets his guard down who knows what will happen to him or the people he cares about.

Just. All of it man. Seeing them exhibiting all these behaviors and quirks that all too often get met with poor reactions from people who don't want to deal with what they don't really get, but here they're met with patience and understanding?? It's got me fucked up. They get to be functional adults that struggle with what they have going on but still push through. They get to have unconditionally loving relationships with people that treat them with respect. And that's the kind of shit that gives me a lot of hope for folks like me because maybe some neurotypical kids that watched it picked up on what's helpful when their friend who acts like one of the bots is going through it. And maybe some neurodivergent kids watched it too and for the first time they just felt SEEN.

Okay rant over, I'm gonna go cry over some plastic robots 👍

[clonehub]

The Clones, Kamino, and Relationships

I've long speculated on what the clones' values would be as a people regarding every type of relationship they could possibly have with others around them -- antagonistic, romantic/sexual, professional, platonic, familial, etc.

Often times when making headcanons along these lines, people tend to project their own social upbringings onto the clones with or without realizing; they rely heavily on a reality that doesn't exist for the clones and then try to justify it with the same reality. Their analyses and theories and hcs end up flawed (and, for me, really annoying to read).

I'm sure you've all heard the fanon/headcanons that clones don't have the necessary and nebulously-defined "life experiences" that are required to mark them as adults. People think the clones lack a certain amount of knowledge about themselves and their bodies, and then others' bodies and how those work. They think the clones have no social awareness; I even saw someone say that clones wouldn't have had rivals, frenemies, or any negative interaction with other clones.

This long form and hopefully structured rant is going to lay out everything I think about how the clones were raised, why they're raised that way, and what that means when they interact with one another and with non clones.

Antagonistic Relationships

The clones argue. They fight. They disagree. We see this repeatedly in The Clone Wars and all throughout the Bad Batch. They disagree with superiors, both Jedi and non Jedi.

Disagreement within a group helps foster social bonds, can strengthen critical thinking/reasoning, and has a few other benefits I don't feel like listing out right now. Regardless, managing disagreements in a group requires conflict resolution skills.

The General Relationship Structure on Kamino

The clones must be taught to be loyal, to be amicable, and how to resolve conflicts within squads and bigger and bigger groupings of clones. The clones are going to war. They're trained soldiers. They have to be able to work on a team. Team work isn't just following orders and it isn't just being friends. That also means swallowing pride, setting aside ego, and even speaking up.

They can get jealous, they can be envious, they can have a whole host of complex feelings and emotions that they need to work through. The Drill sergeants would thus be instructed to be aware of and teach the clones who to work through this (whether they choose pats on the head or a fist is up to them).

I'm saying this to say that fandom often takes clones' "guns n battle" education a little (waaayy) too literally. They're not just given a gun at 2 and told to start firing. They need to be told that you can't turn that gun on your brother just because he said something annoying or you think he's dumb.

The Galaxy Outside Kamino

The clones learn about the galaxy outside Kamino. They get a heavily censored and propagandized history of the galaxy that plays up the Republic and absolutely villainizes anyone else, but they definitely do learn about the galaxy in general. They learn about other species, where those species are located, etc.

I say this to say that people like to act like the clones are so sheltered that they basically gawk at the mere existence of anyone who isn't a clone (so like....racist via ignorance?) which....I don't understand, really. The Kaminoans want to deliver a functioning and high quality product. They can't do that if they don't tell the clones that there's people out there that look different frmo you and speak a different language. A lot of clones are bound to interact with civilians; what sense is there in not prepping them for it?

These history lessons wouldn't even take too long to learn or anything like that. Some people like to headcanon that the clones' education schedule is so tight that they can't learn about "unnecessary" things (i.e. anything that isn't about guns n battle). But the clones are also fast learners. I think they can handle like two days of lessons about the galaxy's species.

Learning about the galaxy also requires --

Social Awareness

I've often seen headcanons that the clones, in one way or another, lack social awareness. "Non clones are basically an alien species! They're bound to ask loud, rude, ignorant, offensive questions! They're not shy, so they'd totally just strip in public if they need to!" (yes, I saw someone say this)

This comes from people infantilizing the clones and refusing to write or see them as the adults that they are. This is also severely shortsighted; again, being aware of the fact that the Kaminoans want a product that can do its job, who is helped by the clones blundering through greater society and destroying the genpop's trust in and comfort with them?

The clones get taught the basics of social politeness. They wouldn't manage the intricacies of cross-cultural interaction from two like high level senators, but that's not their job. They're polite, they're professional, they're aware of what is and isn't rude. They're self aware. They're adults.

Personal and Bodily Awareness

Sorry to the people who are weirdly misogynistic, but the clones also get comprehensive sex ed. It's inevitable that some clones are going to sleep with a non-clone. It's bound to happen! Rather than pretend it never does, the clones are told in detail about two things:

The human reproductive system.

Basic contraceptives and STI prevention.

part of maintaining the health and safety of any given population is making sure that they don't get sick. STIs are a way of getting sick. Part of maintaining the health and safety of a given population is managing unwanted or unexepcted pregnancies. Condoms prevent that. I think the medics have them and distribute them as-needed when they go on leave planetside.

So they get consent training (they'd have to, in order to learn how to interact with anyone ever in a normal and healthy way). The contours of consent would interact with their lifestyles in a contradictory way because they're also rather explicitly told they don't have the right to give/revoke consent over their own bodies, but they're at least told about other's bodies.

But here's the thing. The clones rarely. RARELY. Do end up having sex or a relationship because of two reasons:

They rarely interact with non-clones who are viable for sexual or romantic relationships (as in, most of the non-clones they're in contact with are COs and Jedi)

They themselves do not value sex and relationships to the extent that we do in our society.

for the first point: they're in battle a lot, and when they go on leave they face a society that does not like clones. There are anti-clone protests, 79s is one of the few bars that allows clones in, and when they're at battle they're notably not interacting with civilians for obvious reasons. The average jedi and non clone CO is not going to seek a sexual or romantic relationship with a clone.

This also presumes that clones don't sleep with other clones. I'm not giving ground on this. It's clear within canon that the clones view each other as true family. "Brothers" is not just "brother in arms", but quite literally a familial term for them. Fives' "same heart, same blood" speech in season 3 is evidence. Sister being called/naming herself Sister is another (her being transfem alone isn't enough; if they didn't view their familial relationships as fundamental to who they are, they would have given her a regular name, not Sister). They also refer to one another primarily as brothers, even when there's bad blood -- like Slick insisting that he did loves his brothers. Not comrades or friends or squad mates. Brothers. The entire 501st.

Frankly, the "they're bound to do it" view that many people seem to have is very bizarre to me. Who cares about proximity? What are their values as a people? What have they been taught? What do they believe? Why assume that any given clone would do that? Plenty of people spend a lifetime around their families without ever developing a desire to sleep with them. Who you grow up with can absolutely influence who you're attracted to, but not to this degree.

The assumption that clones MUST sleep with one another relies on a rather wide series of assumptions that just do the thing I complained about in the opener, which is rely on our own culture's values to write the clones. Which ties into point #2 up above:

The clones don't value sex or relationships as something they need to seek out. Yeah, they'd get horny. They're adults. It happens! Part of life. But what's socially considered an appropriate release of those feelings would be different from what we see in today's world. The drill sergeants wouldn't impress upon them the importance of having a partner, because how does that help them? How does it benefit the Republic, the civilians, the clones?

The clones are soldiers who were bred for war and are focused, first and foremost, on fighting and fulfilling their duty. Their most important social values are fighting, duty, and loyalty. Hierarchy, warfare, survival, etc. Can a clone seek out sex? Yeah! Is that even like, remotely common given the points I made above? No! Does the average clone chase civilians or even dream about relationships, sex, etc etc etc? Nope. They weren't taught to value it.

(This isn't to say that wanting these things makes a clone bad at their job, or that having sex means they're breaking a rule somewhere. They're not. it's just like how the majority of college students go for the most common majors because they're taught that those are valuable and desirable things to learn in school. You'll get one or two who have a concentration in something you've never heard of. They're not wrong for that, but they're definitely outliers)

So the average clone is a virgin that doesn't even think about it because it doesn't matter to them. They know about both male and female reproduction, and they know how to interact with civilians.

They're definitely sheltered. I highly doubt that any clone is given the skills necessary to manage like, romantic relationship problems, especially the really gritty ones. They're not told about their rights as beings, their ability to say no to most situations that involve a military CO. But they know about saying please and thank you, solving interpersonal conflicts, and about pads and tampons. They know about boundaries, appropriate behavior in public, and how to use a condom. They know about girlfriends and boyfriends and partners, they just don't generally care about them. They're rare -- not socially shunned, just rare. like the niche college concentrations.

A really good meta to read that I personally love is written by @canichangemyblogname and linked in his pinned. @saga-ordsmed also has a few interesting metas floating somewhere on her blog. theyre not about this topic in particular, but she's got interesting insights into the Republic.

I hope this was coherent enough. I wrote this mostly because I saw a contradictory post that pissed me off and I was yelling about it with friends in discord lol. Basically, the clones are adults, but don't presume that they have the same values that we do, or that the poeple in charge of their care and upbringing share our values either.

[damnfandomproblems]

Fandom Problem 4387:

I'm not really sure when this change happened but at some point people decided that the burden of not interacting with anyone you don't want to interact with lies with everyone EXCEPT yourself.

We see this in DNIs, that range from "no racists / no Nazis" to "you must have the exact same opinions on every single cartoon as me". (First off, do you really expect extremist bigots to respect your DNI? That people like that just won't bother you if you ask them not to? If anything DNIs function only as a virtue signaling tool to tell people we deem Good People that we are also Good People.)

Just friggin use the block button, that's the only reliable way to make sure you never have to see or talk to anyone you don't want to, be it because they're racist extremists or because you don't like their headcanons about your favorite anime character, wherever you decide to draw the line at.

Another way is people yelling at people for "making gross fanfic and fanart!!" just, don't click it then? wtf it's not hard.

But bottom line, this is the internet. Before you even log in anywhere you need to prepare for the possibility that you're gonna see some cursed shit sooner or later. It's just part of being online. Shock sites have been around forever. "But the kiiidsss!!!-" shouldn't even be ON here if they aren't able to manage themselves.

Also this whole attitude that "everyone adult is an eeeviil pedophile groomer out to get you, EXCEPT *ME* OF COURSE YOU CAN TRUST *ME*, I AM YOUR GUARDIAN ANGEL LOOKING OUT FOR YOU BUT NO ONE ELSE CAN BE TRUSTED!" Is DEFINITELY going to make it much easier for actual predators to hide in plain sight. Also? People could just be lying? Anyone could SAY they're a minor, to get the trust of other minors. IF kids are going to be on the internet, at least give them the tools to protect themselves. This means, don't list out every single thing that could be used to identify you and then slap "pedos DNI!!!" at the end and expect them to just leave, cause that's not gonna work. And don't assume everyone is always being honest, someone could SAY they're 15 and trans to try to relate to you, but you can't be sure WHO they are really, so don't give out any information that could be used against you.

And no, it's not "victim blaming" to say we should teach kids basic internet safety, any more than it would be "victim blaming" to teach kids not to dart into a busy street. "Stranger danger" isn't new but it sure seems like a lot of people have forgotten about it. Everyone has a responsibility to keep themselves safe. If someone--of any age--can't handle that responsibility THEY SHOULD NOT BE ONLINE.

[helenstudies]

These are my language learning timelines and how long I've studied to get to that level!

English: fluent C2 > about thirteen years. I started learning when I was 5 (in kindergarten). I got to this level by age 18, when I started working as a professional English - Burmese translator.

Korean: fluent TOPIK 6 level > eight years. I taught myself how to read hangeul at age 15 and achieved TOPIK level 6 in 23. It should be noted that I attended a language program in Korea for nine months to accelerate the process. I started from level 1 and ended in 4/5 in nine months.

Chinese: advanced HSK6 level > eleven years. I started learning chinese when I was 13 and now I'm 24. And no, my chinese ancestry didn't help because no one in my family speaks Chinese.

Japanese: Intermediate JLPT N3 level > nine years. Like Korean, I taught myself how to read hiragana and katakana at age 15 but I prioritized Chinese and Korean. It should be noted that I really struggled with Japanese and had to attend basic classes three times to get to an N5 level. And then twice more to get to N4.

I think this is important for all langblrs to realize! I am not "gifted" at all. I just started studying a bit earlier than y'all because I knew my life long interests are in language, literature and translation. I learned all these so that I could read books in their original language.

It should be noted that in Myanmar, I graduated high school at age 16/17. Since then, I've been attending a distance education university (before I dropped out in 2021 of course) and I've been working freelance or part time jobs. So this is an actual realistic timeline as an adult who also has a life outside of studying.

If you work full time, study full time or have responsibilities in your life that you have to prioritize, you might need to take a few years longer than me. You might even need to retake classes and fail a few tests. And it's okay.

I can't emphasize this enough so I will do this again and again: not being able to quickly learn language is not a failure on your part. Don't fall into ageist traps because you really do retain your brain functions well into your years. You can keep learning and keep improving as an adult. Look up neuroplasticity and stop listening to "polyglot" influencers.

Another thing I want to mention is in my last post, I wrote that language learning takes years and you'll just have to make these years bearable and I mean it. Just sitting down and studying for hours is annoying to me. So, I personally make it bearable by reading stories and translating songs or poems because that's what my brain likes. I like writing chinese characters but it's boring to just sit down and write them. So I write them while watching tv because I have adhd and I need to fidget anyway. My goal is to read books in their original languages so I read, read and read. You have to figure out why you want to learn these languages and see how you can make it bearable.

[candiid-caniine]

support needs and sex

having trouble with words recently. during this, I don't post much. have autism, have talked about it here before, but only small things.

but lots of frustration recently about representing. how people with low support needs have louder voices. people with cute, quirky autism get represented more because neurotypicals don't feel as uncomf. still they have their struggles but you know. middle to high support needs are uncomf. have to hide, have to be quiet. people with low support needs, also sometimes think *their* autism is *all* autism. don't want to talk about mid/high supports people, or be associated.

but, speech loss bad enough that I don't want to go into it today. stick to what is doable.

autistic people have sex. autistic people do kink. lot of positivity here about this. i've seen it. you've seen it. you've seen me also do it.

but autism in sex, not just:

cute stimming because sex feels good

sensory overload, in a good way

hard to speak because of good feelings

person getting flustered/shy/nervous

not only cute. not only shy. not only because of good feelings.

autism can be ugly, scary, difficult, bad communicating, hard to know how to support, getting in the way.

for me:

speech loss; not cute speech loss because of good feelings, speech loss because life is exhausting; exhausted, don't want to have sex

handling rejection poorly. have to use a lot of energy to keep from being a bad partner because of overreacting

sensory overload because good, but i dissociate because sensory overload

use sex to escape bad feelings, not in a healthy coping way

can't explain why i react poorly. in most circumstances. but also happens around sex

frustration because i can't think how to explain

meltdown because so frustrated

cycle repeats

have trouble understanding un-firm versions of "no" (have to work hard to communicate with partner, and i do, but hard work af)

have trouble understanding "maybe"

have trouble predicting how i "will/would" feel

thus frustration. meltdown. cycle resumes

or, know what i want; don't know how to explain

AND YET: i am not:

too dysfunctional for sex/relationship

"basically a child"/too immature

unsafe person

too fucked up for marriage

bad person for dating

someone who should avoid sex until burnout ends

...because i am adult. my partner is an adult. we talk about things. we know good expectations. i don't lie about can/can't do things. they don't lie about can/can't do things.

sex is only one slice of this. this blog is about sex, so i post it here. but these issues are big in my life. need support in school, in work; i seem so functional to a stranger, but only because support needs are met.

support needs met = big privilege. i acknowledge this. not so easy for many people, who seem less functional to others, only because support needs not met.

anyway. conclusion:

neurotypicals/non-autistics: don't expect sex + relationships with autistics to be like sexy imagine posts on tumblr. can be sometimes, but often not.

autistics, even: don't expect sex + relationships with other autistics to be like sex + relationships for you.

low support needs autistics: you guys have a problem. (maybe technically i am you guys, don't really know, so maybe *we* have a problem.) some of you don't like when autism represented as mid-high support. don't like to think you're like us. not cool. either way stop speaking like *your* autism is *all* autism. if you have energy + time + emotional resource to do so, tell off other low support needs when they act like this.

high/mid support needs: i see you. you belong. you deserve healthy, good sex if you are adult. support needs =/= being unworthy/not well enough/not functional enough for relationship. possible to have relationships that work for you, allow for the kind of support you need, from other person/medical team/support system. don't mask to get through relationship. hurts you, you should be loved for who you are.

[justanotherhh]

what does being aroace do for alastor's character?

thing about alastor being aroace is that there's so much juicy potential (cannibal joke) embedded in this concept that i don't know about going too far into, as it's still early days and who knows what the direction will be. but. some analysis. some predictions. some headcanons. mix and match with hedonistic abandon. and at the end a bunch of feelings

first and foremost and basically what all the subsequent points will be about in some way, is it's such a great flipping on its head of a tired idea that aspec-ness (in the vague way it's often discussed) is a way of depicting inhumanity -- characters who can't love are Other, characters who don't want sex are childlike, the way to become a Human Adult Person is to enter into these partnerships, to be fixed. in alastor, being aroace is very much the thing that brings him to humanity, grounds him in something beneath the constant mask he wears. to dig deeper...

just visually, i like how his mask literally slips when he's propositioned/involved in sexual comedy/when people discuss romance too much around him. he glitches, or becomes otherwise uncomfortable, or zones out. i like the crack hc that he avoids val at all costs, that val is actually vox' best weapon against alastor, just because his whole Essence is outside of alastor's ability or wish to process

2. the fact that he's caught off-guard by attachment. he's created an untouchable persona (emotionally and physically to an extent/with exceptions -- the distance of the radio to the listener is something i think about a lot), that with the aroace read comes off partly as protection, especially considering how hypersexual hell is, and how generally hyper-romantic earth would have been (hell is romantic with caveats... more in a sec), so when he realises he almost died to protect the hotel gang it sends him into a full-on meltdown

3. that being said, the way he interacts with women is full of charm and ease: mimzy and rosie first and foremost, then also charlie and niffty, and even to an extent vaggie and possibly carmilla, and maybe cherri in future. he's able to get closer to women, able to be respectful in a southern gentleman old-timey way. it reads as chivalry-with-a-demonic-twist. alastor may be unsettling and untrustworthy for other reasons, but not about crossing sexual or romantic boundaries, which makes him surprisingly safe to hang around. i wonder if this was the case whilst living (and if, ironically, it meant that women ended up crossing his boundaries)

4. i especially would be into this tying into his relationship with niffty, who feels like a woman scorned/wronged/hurt in some way in a 50s housewife-ish romantic way (i personally think her story will be incredibly messed up when it's finally shown), but is very happy hanging out with alastor. sidenote, i bet alastor is so proud of her for killing adam

5. the fact that "ace in the hole" is a comment directed at the idea of alastor-and-charlie is fun and spoken about in-depth, and i will wonder until we find out (if we do) how rosie figured it out, and what it says for their relationship that she hasn't told alastor. that they have limitations to their closeness, or that she knows he'll reject it, or that he needs time to get there. personally i think alastor is so detached from himself that he wouldn't know what to do with it at present, it'd be functionally useless until he's learnt to come into himself more -- aroaceness as the end of a journey of humanising a character, not the thing that needs to be gotten away from in order to be seen as human

6. romance! in hell! it's a little stickier there, with sex-with-no-strings seeming to be a more popular pastime, so i think that part was more of a concern whilst he was alive, but that being said, im interested in how this plays into the above relationships, how characters will react to this part once he starts being more openly on the side of/affectionate with the wider hotel gang, and in how this might come up in future, with regards to...

7. vox! voooox! oh i want vox to become. so creepy. currently we've got underlying creepiness to vox' pathetic obsession with alastor that's coded as having been partially romantic and sexual in nature at one point (if not still romantic and sexual...). there's something about it that speaks to the way that alastor is not aroace because of trauma, but there is trauma involved in being aroace

8. that is, constantly having ones boundaries overstepped, whilst not having the words to say how or why or assert them properly, being projected onto by vox and maybe others while he was alive and post-death, potentially when-alive having that framed as a form of inhumanity in and of itself (and how that ties to him being a serial killer, which im so into)

9. the idea of having been made to feel alien in his own skin due to amatonormativity and not knowing why he feels this way, and compensating by creating boundaries that are extreme, but they work as coping mechanisms, up until... perhaps they won't (hinted at in the finale of s1)

10. (i soooo want vox' creepiness to eventually lead to him actually beating alastor in some way, temporarily, and alastor having to face the mortifying ordeal of being saved by the hotel gang, knowing he's weak and needs to be taken care of by them, knowing that they know that vox won in some way, knowing that vox will take it as vindication and become more powerful from it, know all his walls weren't strong enough in the end -- like a part two to the finale, which ultimately the others didn't see (although vox did) and was already such a big deal for him. gimme some alastor angst!!!)

11. smthinsmthin when we have an aroace character whose whole Deal is being untouchable (emotionally and physically, barring Certain People) being pushed into a space where he has to allow himself to be cared for and through that engage with his own boundaries and which ones have become poisonous to him vs the ones which are actually Who He Is

12. i like to think that he and angel could have an unlikely friendship with a lot of shenanigans, because they both have narratives focused on (re)establishing a relationship with their own bodies, after being made to feel unable to inhabit them as who they are -- angel due to abuse, alastor due to being aroace/repulsed (angel learning to respect alastor's boundaries and being protective of them as an extension of his own journey)

13. alastor filtering through what parts of him are him and what parts are the walls/coping mechanisms -- it's been a lot of years, even before he died, of building them after all. who is the man beneath it all?

14. big fan of how this interacts with his past as a murderer too -- the metaphor is made into something much deeper when the character's aroaceness is a humanising factor in a story about people who have done/do bad things. this not to say he'll necessarily be redeemed (but who knows, vaggie has killed a lot of people and probably will be, or, she'll probably stay in hell with charlie, but the narrative will go "she's chill now." in fact it already pretty much has), but that it adds to all the grey areas of his character. he's not a pure, sad little soul who's always suffering, he's dealt in suffering himself, he enjoys the suffering of others, and he's in control all the time

15. it must have been incredibly humiliating not only to die so stupidly/randomly/without say, but to become a deer demon after that. again, prey, weak, lack of control. his whole Thing is control of the narrative, and his death was totally out of that control, and that in and of itself plays into aroaceness as the idea of "if you can't verbalise yourself, if you can't adequately create boundaries, then overcorrect. become the most inscrutable, untouchable, unsettling, disturbing version of yourself. make people not want to get close to you in the first place"

16. and yet despite all that, he can't help liking people, he can't help being charming and funny and smart and in some ways there's a mask in that too -- sharp wit to cut people down, when you're not... literally cutting people down, a cool, shallow friendliness that deliberately keeps a tension at the forefront, the smartness helping to control and shape and keep power. funnily enough, when he's ready to be aroace, oh the real power he'll have (whether he'll use it for good or bad, or a mix of both... who knows, but he'll be fully himself at last, and that's a happy ending)

17. on the flipside to angel, i think it would take charlie a hot second to deal with it -- she'd be supportive in word, but also she's a known boundary-crosser/someone who has her fixed ideas of how things ought to be and it takes a strong "no" to make her realise when she's got it all wrong. all this to say, she might get the ace part, but she could struggle with the aro, trying to twist it into a version of love so that she could humanise him on her terms, using the word "love", until someone steps up for alastor in some way (in my head, angel, but that's my angel and alastor unlikely friends agenda)

18. husk already knows in some way. also not with words, but he's like, yeah this guy. none of that. are y'all surprised????

19. i wonder if when alive he briefly thought he might be a homosexual, or if he knew from the start that he wasn't, especially considering that men are more disgusting to him overall than women

20. i wonder if mimzy knows or suspects, and also if she was in love with him during their lifetime

21. i like to think in life he's utilised the tactics of the song "the gentleman doesn't believe" and just gone "i hate kissing i mean and uh. dancing. and jazz. and uh... smoking. and walking. and everyting else!!!! (but mostly kissing)" as a way of getting out of someone suggesting a date

22. alastor as hot and charming and unfuckable and unromanceable and repulsed by the idea of it all, and who has the supremely aroace fantasy powers of a. "am not being perceived" and b. "am so terrifying you wish you couldn't perceive me" and whose relationships are dictated by his aroaceness, not despite it!

23. ultimately, this point is the main one for me, regardless of how the story actually gets there: aroaceness as the end of a journey of humanising a character, not the thing that needs to be gotten away from in order to become human

24. pal of mine @creepysora said: "they didnt let anyone walk so now he waltzes ready for murder" and yeah. jumped straight to complex character with big, wonderful flaws in a strange little universe, bypassing all the dull explanatory 1-0-1 that just isn't my cup of tea and into a way of writing aroaceness that can be complex and nuanced and based in character, story, theme, rather than education -- he's not implied, he's not one-note, he's not there to explain, he's not defined solely by his role in the story as the token so-and-so, he's not there to be fixed, he's not there to be dubbed as Other, he is

this character genuinely doesn't exist elsewhere, outside of the stories and ideas i see shared and share within my community. this kind of focus, it's... kind of heady to be honest. like you only ever tasted something sweet in crumbs, and then someone gives you a boatload of it all at once

and tbh. he deserves a little murder. as a treat. because fuck, being aroace is hard