#i can't do too much physical activity without it incapacitating me for days after
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#im gonna (hopefully) sleep now but#i think it might be time to see someone about my pain#my back feels like it's crumbling in on itself and the pain is running down both of my legs#normally i can put on a brave face as long as i can rest up but im in bed rn and just want to cry from this#im still so scared abt seeing a doctor for it though. im so scared about having it be reduced to my weight#and like. maybe my weight is affecting it. i will accept that as a possibility if everything else is ruled out#but i'm literally backed into a corner because i cant lose weight#there's like actually diagnosed reasons why i cant but also like#i can't do too much physical activity without it incapacitating me for days after#and having a varied and healthy diet isn't an option when you're autistic and very sensitive to the smell taste and texture of food#and i also have a very troubled relationship with food and/or possibily an eating disorder if im tbh#hhhhhh sorry for venting suddenly i just feel so trapped because i need help but nobody wants to help#im with a new gp now so im praying that they'll take me seriously but ive had too many bad encounters to really be hopefully at this point#ed mention#pr0ana dni btw this is just for ppl who need eating disorders tagged
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