#i can't believe i'm finally joining the community after months and months of just silently stalking like damnnn

[iri-2]

I Love You Like That

Rating: Not Rated Category: F/F Fandom: Biohazard | Resident Evil (Gameverse) Relationships: Mother Miranda/Reader Characters: Mother Miranda, Karl Heisenberg, Salvatore Moreau, Eva

Summary: As a scientist in The Connections, you and Miranda work together in a laboratory. Over time, you develop feelings for this somewhat harsh but seemingly vulnerable woman. One day, she "takes" you to her hometown.

You find yourself falling for Miranda.

A few months ago, she was just a somewhat sharp-tongued colleague who had recently joined. You don't know why you are attracted to her and trap so deeply.

"I think I might have some feelings for you, Miranda." Your fingers tightly gripping the edge of the notepad.

Miranda's scalpel pauses on the corpse. "Why?"

Why?

How would you know? Most of the time, she doesn't seem that friendly towards you. Until recently.

"Lab romances aren't a good idea. Shouldn’t we just focus on researching the combination of the E-type fungus and cadou?" Miranda rejects you directly.

"I knew I shouldn't have told you, you’re too cold to everything." you mutter, the tip of the pen you're holding trembling on the experiment log, leaving messy ink stains.

Several months ago, the leader of The Connections suddenly announced with excitement that they had found a scientist to join the project you were working on.

As the team's most outstanding researcher, you were assigned to the same laboratory as this scientist, in Romania.

Passing through the purification facility at the entrance, you enter the room. You see a woman already dressed in full lab attire, examining a small piece of tissue under a microscope.

"So, you're THE best researcher? You're here REALLY early," the dark-haired woman says.

"You must be Dr. Miranda? I firmly believe that I arrived on time." You try to ignore the unfriendly sharpness in her tone. This new scientist seems to have no understanding of interpersonal communication.

"In my sense of time, you are late." She doesn't lift her head from the eyepiece.

That’s quite rude.

"Okay, first, you’re new. Second, I’m on time. Third, I hope we can get along well at work," you put on your lab coat.

She takes off the slide and finally wants to take a look at you. "That'll take a while."

… For the sake of the experiment's progress, you silently endure her occasional criticism.

She’s mean all the time. She even uses you as her assistant, handing you the used experimental equipment for cleaning.

"For a hundred times, I'm NOT your assistant! I’m a scientist as you." You can't bear it anymore.

She shrugs her shoulders and remains silent.

… One day, she directs her accusations at you again.

"Did you touch my culture dish?" Miranda accuses you without any evidence.

"Why would I touch your culture dish?" you respond, feeling puzzled.

"It's just the two of us here. If it's not me, it must be you. No one else can come in."

"So, you blame me when your experiment doesn't go well?" You're annoyed.

Every time she starts an experiment with anticipation, but after a failure, she becomes unusually desperate.

Her blue eyes dim a bit, and the wrinkles at the corners deepen.

"Sorry." You hear her say the word for the first time.

She looks vulnerable. She has never revealed to you the purpose of her research. However. every time the experiment fails, the gloom in her eyes deepens a bit. She doesn't seem to have only seen biochemical experiments when she looks at the tissues and cells. When the experiment fails, she seems to have lost her most precious thing.

"It's okay," your anger subsides slightly.

In the next few days, Miranda's accusations against you seem to decrease. Once, while testing the biological activity of one kind of cadou, you were about to cut a small piece when Miranda suddenly stopped the next move of your scalpel.

"Put this on." She hands you safety goggles.

You put on the goggles, and soon you understand why.

This type of cadou sprays green slime when stimulated, splattering on your goggles and mask, and it smells awful.

"Well, thanks, Miranda."

"No problem." Miranda says gently.

In the following weeks, she finally treats you completely as a colleague. Sometimes she will leave some very clean culture dishes and test tubes by your side. Once she suddenly appears behind you, tidying up the collar of the lab suit you hastily put on in the morning, and then goes to do her experiment as if nothing has happened.

You have become accustomed to her harshness towards you, and recently her tenderness and concern for you have made you start to worry about her situation. What makes this woman who always uses ridicule and condescension to communicate with others like this? And what makes her depart from her normal behavior?

Sometimes when you observe your chemical reaction, you feel someone looking at you from behind. When you turn around, you only see Miranda writing the experimental report seriously.

… You shouldn't have started caring about her. This has kept your gaze on her for too long, so long that you realize you have fallen in love with her.

But out of professionalism - or more importantly, you still think Miranda will treat you with her cold attitude, just like she has built a defense line in her heart, making your heart break, so you just hold your feelings.

… Six months later, when you place the cells you cultivated under the microscope, you witness unprecedented success.

"Miranda! Come here!" you wave for Miranda to come over.

She observes the cell activity under the microscope.

"These are cells I cultivated with an entirely new serum," you say with joy in your tone.

"Eva…" Miranda murmurs.

"Our project has finally made a breakthrough." You write something in your experiment log.

Miranda looks up, muscles twitching on her face, as if suppressing ecstasy. "You’re better than I thought."

"Let’s just pretend I didn't mention this," you place the notebook on the desk. You regret your impulsiveness. What were you thinking?

Miranda holds the equally cold surgical knife in her cold hand and hovers over the body for a while before continuing with the dissection.

Miranda doesn't speak much that day. At the end of the work, she takes off her lab uniform and speaks to you as if she has made up her mind, "I didn't tell you and most people about my research purpose because people would think I was crazy and that I just needed to find a psychologist,"she continues,"I want you to know my purpose."

"But this is a surprise, and you might not like it."she adds.

"Try me," as someone who has just been rejected, you speak weakly.

Miranda takes a step towards you, and you see her hand getting closer to you, then it lands on your face.

And then you plunge into darkness.

"Wake up, wake up." You hear Miranda calling your name.

"What?" You open your eyes and find yourself leaning on her.

She sees you awake, coughs awkwardly, straightens your body, and steps away from you.

"Is this your idea of a 'surprise'? The best I could think of was that you blindfolded me and took me somewhere, not something resembling a kidnapping." You're a bit annoyed and confused,"How did you make me faint that quick?"

"I did say you might not like it," Miranda avoids your question.

"Where did you bring me?" You glance around, it looks like a vineyard.

"My hometown," she replies.

Miranda guides you out of the vineyard and onto the road.

The houses around are very low, the highest looking like it has only two floors. Some houses have adjacent livestock sheds with pigs and chicks.

The villagers here wear clothes from the last century, some grinding flour, others rolling hay. They stop their activities in surprise when you pass by, and when they see Miranda beside you, surprise turns to fear. They quickly return to their work.

"Don't be surprised, they rarely see outsiders, so they react like that," Miranda calmly explains to you.

"But they seem scared of you," you turn to Miranda.

"Probably because I look different from usual. This village is conservative, and they're not used to new things," Miranda tries to explain.

What is she like usually? Does she wear the same clothes as the villagers? You rarely see Miranda in anything other than a lab coat, and today she wears a simple solid-color cardigan. You can't help but imagine Miranda wearing the villagers' clothes.

"Why don't they go to the outside world?" you mutter.

As you go further, people become scarce until you enter a field where there's no sign of villagers.

"We're here," Miranda leads you to a house.

This house is built against the mountainside, away from the village center.

She opens the door and enters with you. The furnishings inside the house match the vintage theme of the village.

"Is this where you live?" you ask.

"Yes, not used to it?" she gazes at you.

"I just didn't expect someone like you to be so unmodernized," you murmur.

"Come see my lab." She ignores your sarcasm.

"You also have a laboratory here?" The size of this house doesn't look like it can accommodate a laboratory.

She opens a door deep inside the house, leading to a bedroom.

"Well…?"

She goes to a corner and pulls down a switch.

There's a click, and the blank wall in front of you starts moving to the sides, revealing a laboratory still marked by the passage of time.

"I see. But why do you hide the lab?"When you think this woman is strange enough, she still has surprises waiting for you.

She gestures for you to enter her laboratory. A damaged wooden table is scattered with various books and a few black-and-white photos.

You see a photo of a dark haired woman holding a little baby. "Is this you?"

"Yes."You never see her this emotional before, her blue eyes slightly dimming.

"This child…"

"She was my daughter."Miranda's voice carries endless sorrow. "She died when she was ten."

"Oh, I’m sorry, Miranda." You look at her, your voice softens.

"That's why I'm researching the Megamycete; I want to bring Eva back." Miranda's hand holds your arm.

"That's why when your experiment failed, you were like a soul being pulled out of your body?" You feel the coldness of her hand. Has she always been this cold? "I believe you can succeed, our research is progressing well."

Her blue eyes have returned to their original state, looking at you with immense tenderness. "You've helped me a lot. Thank you." She seems to find it awkward to say such things. She lets go of your arm, her cheeks slightly flushed.

She appears so fragile.

"You know, you can tell me directly in our laboratory." You don't think she needs to use "kidnapping" to take you to this village surrounded by deep mountains to tell you this.

"There are still some things that I will let you know here," she doesn't think she does this with great fanfare.

Miranda insists you stay overnight in her bedroom.

"Where will you sleep?"

"I'll rest on the couch." Miranda is about to sit down.

"Miranda?" You call her from the bedside.

"Hmm?"

"I'd like to hear Eva's story."

Miranda freezes in her movements, then stands up and says, "Not many people ask about her."

"If it makes you uncomfortable, you don't have to force it." You see sadness engulfing her again.

"It's okay, I don't mind talking about her." She slowly walks towards you and sits beside you.

"Eva was born in August. I remember it was a hot day, and giving birth to that little one exhausted me." Miranda's gaze focuses in the distance as she smiles.

"Her eyes were blue…"

"Like her mother."

She looks at you gently. "Yes, just like me."

"She was the smartest among her peers, learned things quickly. She got along well with other kids, everyone wanted to be friends with her." Miranda speaks softly.

"She even learned carving from the village carpenter. One day, she excitedly ran home, holding something in her hands, shouting, 'Mom! Look at what I made today!' She raised a wood carving in front of me, which was in the shape of a goat. The head and body were divided into two parts and pieced together. I held little Eva in my arms and praised her for doing so well. She was thrilled."

A wood carving of goat? You seem to have seen something similar in the village.

"She used to visit various houses in the village every day, helping them with chores. She was so energetic." Happiness surrounds Miranda as she speaks.

You listen attentively to her storytelling. This is the most time Miranda talks, maybe too much.

After that, it's not your fault. The day-to-day research makes you sleep very little. In Miranda's gentle voice, it feels like listening to a bedtime story, and you grow sleepy.

Your head tilts to the side, hands on your stomach, breathing steady.

Miranda lifts you gently from the bedside, letting you lie down on the bed. She covers you with a blanket, arranges the pillow, and sits by your side, watching you sleep peacefully.

Lab romances? Sounds fun.

You wake up from Miranda's blanket, and the scent of her woody perfume lingers in the air. Getting off the bed, you walk to the kitchen.

"Good morning, Sleeping Beauty." Miranda sits at the dining table.

"Good morning." You lazily reply.

"Your breakfast." She points to the apple pie and fried egg on the table.

"What about you?" You look at the complete apple pie and ask her.

"I've already eaten." She picks up her tea and takes a sip.

"Any plans for today?" You cut a piece of the fried egg and put it in your mouth.

"We're going to Heisenberg's factory."

"Heisenberg's factory?" You question.

"Yes, Karl Heisenberg is my… assistant. He's advanced in bioelectric research."

"Oh, you have 'assistants' here too? I thought I was the only one of yours." You tease her.

"They are indeed my assistants, but you you're different." She awkwardly coughs.

You feel a bit pleased that you successfully teased Miranda.

"Have your breakfast now, we'll head to the factory. It's located outside the village, a bit far." Miranda gestures towards your breakfast.

"Why not 'kidnap' me there? Seems quicker." You take a bite of the apple pie.

"I could, but I prefer you to walk there with me consciously." Miranda finishes her tea.

"What do you mean by 'I could'?"

"Eat your breakfast."

Miranda and you walk on an ancient bridge. In the village, you still feel the strange gazes of the villagers, but after Miranda glares at them, they dare not stare at you anymore.

"Miranda?" You tilt your head to look at her.

"What's wrong?" Miranda softly responds.

"Why do I feel like the villagers are afraid of you?" You ask her.

"We'll talk about it later." Miranda doesn't want to say more.

Outside Heisenberg's factory, wild grasses are overgrown, and abandoned metal parts are scattered in the bushes.

As if predicting your arrival, the factory gate slowly opens, revealing a man standing at the entrance.

He wears a dirty light green trench coat with a tattered wide brim fedora, but his sunglasses are polished to a shine.

"Ah, Miranda, you're here. Welcome." The man opens his arms to welcome you.

"Heisenberg, this is my colleague." Miranda informs him of your name.

"Hello, Miranda said I should show you how bioelectricity works." Heisenberg produces a cigar from behind his back.

"Thank you, Mr. Heisenberg."

In his workshop, you see various large instruments emitting orange lights, indicating their operation. They are quite different from the precise instruments you are familiar with in your laboratory.

You swear you hear a hissing sound coming from some tightly closed doors.

Heisenberg leads you and Miranda into a dimly lit room with many surgical tables. On them lie many gray-skinned… people?

"These are my experimental results." Heisenberg proudly says. You can see excitement gleaming behind his sunglasses.

"Are these people?" You point to one with an iron drill replacing its arm.

"They used to be. Don't worry, I only experiment on them after they've passed away. They've been implanted with Cadou, and with some electric stimulation, they’ll 'come alive'."

Like Galvani's frog experiment?

"Although the electricity used now is external, in ongoing research, I've enabled them to gradually activate their own neural potentials, making them have life activities, just like a resurrection." Heisenberg explains.

Your understanding of bioelectricity is limited, but you listen to Heisenberg's enthusiastic explanations, occasionally nodding along.

"Perhaps this can help with your research?" Heisenberg finishes his grand speech and hands you a development notebook.

"Thank you, Mr. Heisenberg."

"Call me Karl." Heisenberg corrects.

You filter out his self-praise in the report, summarize the key points about the experiment in your head.

Heisenberg finishes his cigar, casually tossing it on the ground and extinguishing it with his boot. Taking a step forward, he places his hand on your shoulder — the glove he wears is oily, much like the messy strands of his long gray hair.

"I believe Miranda wouldn't choose the wrong person. She never used to wander around the village with outsiders." He gives you a positive look.

Your gaze shifts to Miranda, who is staring at your shoulder. "HEISENBERG! I appreciate your help today, but it's getting late. We should go."

"But it's only noon. Don't you want to stay for lunch or something?" Heisenberg asks you with a smile.

"No need. We have other things to do. You should focus on your own tasks," Miranda immediately rejects him.

"Alright, suit yourselves." Heisenberg walks towards his workbench, starting to clean a metal hammer.

"What else do we have to do?" You ask Miranda as the factory gate behind you automatically closes.

"We're going to the reservoir."

"The reservoir? I guess it's not for some leisurely fishing."

"No, just taking a walk."

"So, this is the 'other things' you mentioned. Sounds important," your tone carries a hint of mockery.

Miranda purses her lips. "It's important to me. Perhaps to Moreau as well."

"Moreau?" A new name.

"He's another assistant of mine, living near the reservoir. We can pay him a visit."

You follow Miranda towards the windmill. Does Moreau live in a windmill? That’s so weird.

Miranda leads you into an elevator, descending into a cave-like area.

Wow, this guy lives in a place even more unusual than Heisenberg.

You hear the sound of someone vomiting.

You see Miranda frown.

Sounds emanate from a small house in the cave, like a comedy show. You hear an odd laughter, followed by chewing noises.

Miranda knocks on the door.

A peculiar-looking guy opens the door.

"Mother!"

You see Miranda shoot him a fierce look.

Mother?

"Oh, no Moth… Mo… Mi… Miranda, you came! Moreau welcomes you to my reservoir! Y…You brought a newcomer." This hunched-over guy speaks with a strange voice, containing a gurgling element, reminiscent of fish blowing bubbles.

After the door is fully open, you see his face clearly under the indoor lights. Wow, his features seem… really bizarre. His eyes are swollen, half-closed, his nose is short, and below, his mouth is wide open, with teeth seemingly having a mind of their own, growing in various directions.

Oh, God bless him.

He acts unusually excited, his skinny arms trembling. He invites you into his house. Miranda looks somewhat reluctant, but she follows you inside.

"Miranda, you're actually here to see me. You rarely visit me!" He's excited like a child, reaching out to you. "And you brought a newcomer!"

"Salvatore, stop. She's my colleague, here to help me with experiments. We just came from Heisenberg's place. We need some data on Cadou." Miranda halts Moreau's action.

"W…Wait for me here. I'll fetch the experimental data right away." Moreau rushes into the inner room and comes out with a stack of documents.

Miranda takes the documents and hands them to you. You carefully avoid touching the suspicious green marks on top and put them into your backpack.

Miranda seems ready to leave, and so do you.

"Miranda! Newcomer! Stay for lunch with me." The person with a strange appearance shouts.

"No, thanks, Moreau." Miranda replies coldly.

Moreau leans forward and grabs something. You follow Miranda and turn around, seeing Moreau holding onto the corner of Miranda's cardigan hem, hunches his back, appearing so small and weak.

"Fine. I can accompany you for a while. Let go." Miranda pulls out the hem from his hand, speaking extremely reluctantly, "No lunch."

She looks at you inquiringly. You nod.

"Just one episode, just one episode like always," Miranda tells him.

Moreau tries to jump up excitedly, completely unaware of the stiffness in Miranda's tone. He continues playing his comedy and starts chewing on the cheese on the plate.

You and Miranda sit side by side on the stools behind Moreau, facing the TV. The comedy is amusing, Moreau giggles, and at one point, he accidentally chokes on the cheese, producing a loud cough. Miranda sits straight, showing no reaction to the comedy.

Is this cave well-ventilated? Why do you smell such a strong fishy odor?

You frown in disgust, praying for this episode to end quickly so you can leave this damp and gloomy place.

The unpleasant smell allows you to catch a faint fragrance from Miranda, like her blanket, woody and pleasant — something you like.

After another ten minutes, the fishy smell intensifies. Unable to bear it any longer, you start moving closer to Miranda, attempting to use her scent to mask the fishy odor.

The fishy smell is really strong, and your face is almost buried in her neck. When your nose brushes against her skin, she slightly recoils.

Miranda speaks.

"Moreau, control yourself."

"Mo… Miranda, I didn't mean to!" Moreau immediately apologizes.

After a while, you feel the fishy smell diminish significantly. You turn your head to rest it on Miranda's shoulder. She doesn't move, lets you lean on her.

The episode finally comes to an end, and you feel relieved.

Miranda says to Moreau, "We should go now."

You stand up quickly, ready to escape.

Moreau appears reluctant, and there seems to be tears in his eyes. "Goodbye, Miranda. Goodbye, newcomer."

Before you can say goodbye, Miranda, without looking back, pulls you away, leaving Moreau behind.

Leaving the reservoir, the air suddenly becomes incredibly fresh. You feel like your foggy brain has been liberated.

"Miranda? Shouldn't we go for lunch?" you poke her arm.

"Sure," Miranda nods.

"Are we going to the restaurant in the village, or…?"

"We'll buy ingredients and cook ourselves."

"Getting another meal from the great scientist? Looking forward to it! The apple pie and fried eggs you made this morning were just perfect." You recall their aftertaste.

Miranda smiles at your reaction. "Let's go and get some ingredients."

You can also find me here.

Thanks for reading!

[rylie-studies]

Studyblr introduction!

Hey guys! I’m Rylie and, after a long time of just admiring the studyblr community, it’s finally come to the time when I finally decide to make one and join this wonderful community! I wanted to start this blog in order to enhance my productivity and motivation, finish off my high school years on a good note, and start college with a fresh mind. I’m definitely looking forward to becoming a part of this community and meeting many lovely people! :)

Quick facts about me:

I’m currently in my junior year of high school ♡

I’m very, very much in love with coffee and stationery ♡

I’m originally from the Philippines, but have been living in the US for a while now ♡

Once I finish high school, I’m planning to go to university and major in cultural anthropology! ♡

Hobbies/Interests:

Books (I really love poetry books and YA Lit books, some faves are Eleanor & Park, The Sun Is Also A Star, and Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe)

Romantic comedy movies! (and lots and lots of Netflix)

Stationery (I could live in the stationery aisle for the rest of my life)

Eating, sleeping, listening to music (a mix of Kpop, American pop music, and Latino jams), and playing tennis

Languages and cultures

Traveling (I wanna travel to so many places omg)

K-dramas and stand-up comedies!

Classes I’m currently taking:

Precalculus

AP English Language

Health

AP US History

French

AP Physics I

Future goals:

To become a part of a lovely and supportive community ♡

To meet lots of new people and make connections ♡

To become more productive, focused, and work harder and smarter ♡

To surround myself with positive vibes all around and be kinder to myself everyday ♡

Favorite studyblrs:

@emmastudies, @studyblr, @studyquill, @jacistudies, @amaryllae-studies, @tbhstudying, @minijournals, @ink-motive, @teastudyblr, @iknowthis, @linceestudies, @pippistudies, @studylustre, @studyjunkies, @stillstudies, @philohsophical, @actuarystudies, @softlystudying, @scienttia, @tacostudy, @hadstudies, @studyign, @stvdybuddies, @alimastudies, @phoebe-does, @einstetic, @studytherin, @jiyeonstudies, @journalsanctuary, @successe-s, @studiousminds, @studyingnic, @kathistudies, @studyfeather, @meg-is-studying, @janetstudies, @acadehmic, @adelinestudiess ♡

Thank you all for being so inspirational and I wish you all a great and successful academic career! :) ♡

To everyone that reads this, I hope you all have a great day and you laughed and smiled a lot today! ♡

[aries-rising-on-an-aquarius-tide]

Evocations: XVI

The Chief District Attorney drafts an over-eager redhead with too much to prove, to replace Alexandra within just a few weeks. Liv allows the natural rhythm of the work to sweep her along, pouring herself into it in order to keep the loneliness and the mourning at bay.

Darcie and Alexander check in regularly enough, even after the sale of the apartment is settled, two months after being on the market. She is genuinely touched that they call, but dreads it, too - being forced to sit in her sadness for that brief period every few weeks.

Elliot checks in too, in his own way. For the first couple months he pretends that he is being subtle about it: asking her if she's eaten, glancing at her fridge every time he stops by her apartment, making sure she is the first to nap in the cribs if they have a lull. As Christmas approached, he suggested drinks or pizza outside of work more often. He made it clear Olivia was welcome to celebrate Christmas with his family.

But Liv didn't want company. She didn't want Christmas. All she wanted was her life back, and if she couldn't have that, she wanted to work. So, she put her head down and plodded forward.

It was late in January when the phone call came. Olivia grabbed the phone on the first ring, assuming it was a case about to break. On the other end of the line, though, was Alexander's voice. Immediately, a chill snaked down Liv's spine. The Cabots never called her at work.

"Olivia," Alex's father said quietly, and the knot of tears in his throat was audible, "we lost Darcie."

Liv went stiff in her wheeled chair, fixing her eyes on a pile of paperwork in front of her. She listened to Alexander's soft voice telling her the basic details, all the while thinking of how he believed he had lost his entire family, when Alex was somewhere still alive.

She assures him she will call when she arranges her flight, and ends the call, walking straight into Cragen's office where she tells him she needs time off.

.

.

Alex has never been so sick of a winter as she is of that first Winter in Wisconsin. She has three layers to strip out of as she comes through the door at the end of the day, and Sky impatiently dances circles as she does so, waiting for her dinner.

Her job now is at an insurance firm. Not selling it, thank God, mostly just auditing and reviewing applications. Like everything else she has undertaken, the job is easy and she excels. Her skills are painfully underused in the position, and she is already exhausted with it by January.

Tina, her 'sister,' continues to see her regularly. Behind closed doors, they are acquaintances at best; any hope of having a close friend in the woman had sailed very early-on. Alex is, in fact, surrounded by acquaintances - in co-workers, at the stores she frequents, in her neighborhood. But nobody gets close.

Close isn't an option any more. Every time she forgets to respond for a beat to 'Emily,' every time she sees someone new, Alex is chilled through, wondering if she has been found out. She worries about people asking the wrong questions, about strangers who look at her a moment too long.

Is this the day? she has asked herself a thousand times, Is today the day I die?

In the bathroom mirror, she runs her fingers over the scar from her bullet wound, and tries to convince her reflection that she is Emily now. She practices it like daily affirmations, trying to accept her isolation, her loneliness, her confusion.

Once Sky is fed, Alex reheats some chicken soup for herself (she has refused to cook anything but hot meals since the first snowfall), and takes it to the spot where she has set up her desk and PC. She has gotten into the habit of keeping up with the news in New York, and in Dallas where her parents are; in her email are dozens of newspaper subscriptions she uses to keep on top of SVU cases and other tidbits.

A foot rubs Sky absently under the desk as Alex eats her soup and reads. Outside the doors to her back patio, the snow swirls and flutters with no end in sight to the frozen dairyland's stasis. This is when she sees it.

It rolls up on the screen of her digital copy of The Dallas Morning News:

Beloved Wife of Prominent Local Attorney Passes, Community Mourns

Below it, she reads her parents' names . . . her own name, words that she knows are a part of her real life, but at first she can't make them feel real. Again and again, she reads the blurb about the death of her mother, and the recent death of herself.

My mother is dead.

Mom has died.

Alex repeats the fact, continues to paraphrase it, until she rises from the computer and walks back to the kitchen with her half-eaten soup. Laying the bowl in the sink, she stares blankly into the receptacle until she feels the burn of her fingernails cutting into her palm.

When she looks up from her bleeding hands, her eyes land on the telephone, and she briefly considers calling Jack Hammond and demanding that he give her back her old life. To attend her mother's funeral, to be held by Olivia, to feel something again.

In the end, Alex takes Sky to bed under a thick pile of blankets, and her sleep is filled with nightmares where snow falls in Dallas, and she wanders the streets, screaming for her mother, who cannot hear her call.

.

.

Olivia has never been to Texas, and cannot think of a worse reason for her first trip there as she touches down in Dallas and embraces Alexander Cabot, who seems diminished without the two blondes who have always bookended him.

She moves into mothering mode quickly, encouraging Al to eat and sleep. She keeps a wary eye on his drinking, and makes sure that he is working through any paperwork Darcie left behind. As parents most often do, the Cabots had originally arranged to leave everything to Alexandra. After the cartel case, some reshuffling had occured, and Olivia is touched and conflicted when she finds out that some of it was shuffled to her.

When he falls into a fitful sleep the night before the funeral, Olivia slips silently, curiously into Alex's teenage bedroom. It is mostly intact: the walls showcase 80s movie posters alongside Feminist icons and clippings of political milestones of the decade.

Liv breathes deep of the ghost of her lover in the space, fingers reverently gliding over academic awards and dusty photos where Alex's smile beams out at her. On the bookshelf, she reads titles one after the other - Rubyfruit Jungle nestled right up next to Little Women . . . Jane Rule, Roald Dahl, Beckett, a gathering of strange bedfellows that brings a wisp of a grin to Olivia's face.

Finally she sits down on the narrow, creaking bed and picks up the tattered stuffed penguin at the pillow. The sigh that pitches from her is swollen with melancholy.

"His name is Shivers," Al tells her from the doorway, and Liv jumps at the sound. He fills the doorframe with his height and heavy sense of his grief.

"Of course it is," Liv sniffs with amusement, giving the flightless bird another once-over.

"You should have him," Alexander furthers.

The amount of restraint that Olivia has to employ to keep from confessing that the man's daughter is still alive is utterly monumental in that moment. She binds it, snuffs it, locks it away again and again. No confession comes, just a smile for Alex's father, and a nod.

The morning following the funeral, Liv flies out of Dallas with Shivers in her suitcase, leaving behind her a dozen yellow roses on Darcie's grave.

.

.

In mid-April in Wittenberg, much to Alexandra's dismay, the ground remains frozen. Most of the snow slowly melts, however every now and then, a light dusting of fresh flakes comes down in the morning or overnight, then melts with the climb of the sun.

She has lost weight through the winter months, and the sharp planes of her face in the mirror are painful to acknowledge. No proper mourning of her mother had come to pass; Alex had simply filed the knowledge away as a part of the life she lost, and continued the monotonous plod forward in the strange play she now acted in each day.

Before April gave way to the slightly warmer thaw of May, the insurance firm where she was working threw a social mixer - to break up the long change of seasons, they explained. Tina, who was concerned about Alex's weight loss and isolation, had pushed hard for her to attend, even if it was just to get out of the house for something other than work and errands.

So, on the evening of the mixer, Alexandra found herself at a local drink lounge called Doubles, quietly sipping a Shirley Temple. Her co workers were made up mostly of the usual office-job types: clad in off-the-rack suits, soft-spoken and nerdy, often shy, and unfortunately not very interesting. Alex stayed hugged to the bar, drinking and trying to decide how long she had to stay in order for her escape to be considered polite rather than asocial.

"Mind if I join you?"

The man that belonged to the voice was from the Claims Adjustment department of the firm. Alex had seen him around now and then, perhaps even passed polite words with him - but she couldn't recall his name. She waved her hand in the direction of the stool next to her in reply, and he settled in.

"You don't remember me, do you?" he chuckled, watching for the bar tender to free up so he could order a drink.

"I'm not so great with names," Alex told him apologetically.

"Well, I remember your name - Emily." He had a great smile, and he flashed it at her. "Mine is Greg."

"Thanks for reminding me."

He called to the bartender for a rum and coke, then checked if she wanted a refill, which she declined. "Where were you before Wittenberg?" he asked.

"Tulsa, Oklahoma," Alex told him, pulling from the pool of lies and backstory that she had been taught in October.

"Ah," his green eyes twinkled with amusement, "That explains it then."

"Explains what?"

"Why you seem to disdain Wisconsin winter so much."

"I didn't realize it was so obvious," Alex smirked.

He laughed, wrapping both hands around his highball glass. "Were you in insurance there?"

"No. No, this has been a big change for me," she admitted softly.

"Do you miss it?"

Alex startled. "Oklahoma?"

"Whatever it is you left behind."

The blonde paused, her blue eyes locked on the liquor in her glass. "Yes," she confessed, "I do."

They stayed at the bar, drinking slowly, while Greg asked her innocuous questions that were neither boring nor bothersome. Alexandra could feel herself relaxing, loosing herself from the lonely exile she had been prescribed. Before the evening was over, she even caught herself smiling at him, wanting to laugh at his simple jokes.

When the event began to empty out, she declined his offer for a ride home, and was genuinely surprised when he accepted it without pushing back. Neither did he ask her for her number, or to see him again. Alex wondered on her taxi ride home if perhaps she had misinterpreted a man's intentions for the first time since adolescence.

Her worry was quashed, however, when Greg reappeared at the office beginning of the week, and asked her if she would like to have lunch together. She agreed, and it slowly became a regular thing.

By the time he finally asked her on what could be considered an actual date, Alexandra was anxious at the idea of going back to being alone.

She considered the long winter, in which she hadn't put up a tree or celebrated the holidays. Considered the death of her mother, and the nightmares that had followed, leaving her breathless and shaking. Alex even considered the ring, somewhere back in New York, that might never find its way onto the finger of the love she had been forced to abandon.

Facing down the idea of that isolation for the rest of her life was too much to bear.

Alex said yes.

[levinneheart]

Never loved you

Shinsou Hitoshi x Reader (College AU)

Warning/s: Characters are 20+; slight IzuOcha ship; Fluff; Angst; implied Depression; may or may not been based on experience

And yes, the title is a Song by Evie Clair. You’re quirk is smth to do w/ Empath and it’s not hero material by norms.

You never expect to encounter him. Out of all the people you could’ve met, you didn’t believe you that you could met him online out of all the places.

It started when you became friends with a group of talented singers and musicians as you also joined into the fun – abeit not as talented as them, you tried your best and put your all into it. Not long after that, you began knowing the group which consists of all the previous students of Class 1-A and some other students of UA and soon, Mina invited you to join their group as an “honorary member” as you lived in another country which you gladly accepted.

Sometimes, you would join the voice call and be overwhelmed by the amount of voices blasting in your earphone. Sometimes, you would listen silently as everyone talked over each other while Bakugou screamed and make small explosions that literally makes everyone deaf. Rip earphone users. You loved and treasured these moments with them, although you didn’t know what they looked like.

It wasn’t until he joined that made you the happiest. You were currently teasing Midoriya and Uraraka, saying they were cute crushing on each other, much to Uraraka’s denial and Midoriya’s stuttering. Chuckling, you continue with your impromptu storytelling of their love blossoming until both of them are beyond speechless. You decided to stop when Bakugou joined the conversation.

“Yo, Mina invited other damn extra!” he informed in his usual loud voice.

“Kaachan, you shouldn’t talk to Shinsou like that! He’s listening you know!” Midoriya scolded softly.

You checked and someone was listening in, they had a cat picture as a profile pic and you couldn’t helped but smack yourself in embarrassment as you didn’t noticed earlier while Bakugou and Midoriya beefed it out in the voice chat. You muted them, not wanting to hear they’re yelling of being the no. 1 hero.

“I agree with you btw.” chatted the one with cat pic. “It’s so obvious, it makes me roll my eyes that they remain oblivious to each other’s feelings.”

“IKR!” You typed back, forgetting your embarrassment.

“You’re not from UA, are you?”

“No. Actually, I’m just an honorary member as Mina says since I live miles away haha.”

“I see. I’m Shinsou, Shinsou Hitoshi btw.”

“(l/n) (f/n)! Nice to meet’cha!”

You didn’t know how it happened but you felt an instant connection to him and you two hitted it off from then. You two would always chat in your private message and it quickly became unnoticed by the others, they even started to ship is and make an official name for the ship. You played oblivious as did he, although both of you already know about it.

After two weeks, he called you bb and you couldn’t helped but blush before awkwardly telling him: you really really liked him. At first, he didn’t say anything so you were half-expecting him to reject you and that’ll be it. But surprised, he told you: he liked you back. However you both decided that it’s too early for a relationship so you two now have a peace of mind that at least the other feels the same way.

It was fun, interacting with him, sending him uwus and heart memes, etc. You learned that he’s working as a pro hero while you studied in university. You learned he’s a gamer who sings, plays the guitar and ukulele ngl i can honesty see this as canon. And he plays basketball and soccer just pretend sksksksksk.

You two would schedule voice calls as you both were busy, it would always play out as – you would come home late and wait for him to get out of work as you two chatted away before actually getting in the call once he’s home. You would usually ask about he’s day and about his job and he’d reply with his usual deep tired voice that you’ve grown to love curses my deep voice kink.

This went for two months. Until one night while you were staying up late studying, he chatted your name. This was the first time he called you by your real name, usually he would call you by your username or “bb” as usual so this sudden change set butterflies in your stomach.

“Yes, Toshi?” you replied before teasingly sent, “This is the 1st time you called me by my name haha.”

“I wanted to tell you something important so I thought it’d catch your attention.”

“Well, what is it?”

“I love you.”

Without thinking you typed, “I love you too.” and sent it before realizing what he meant. “Do you meant that as a friend?” You immediately sent.

“Do you want me to say that?”

You blushed hard, you can imagine him chuckling at your stupid question. “Uhhh no??? Idk??? You’re not joking, right??”

“I wouldn’t have said it, if I didn’t mean it.”

“Really?” You couldn’t believe it so you just had to ask.

“Yes.”

“Tell it to me again plz 🥺👉👈.”

“I love you, (y/n).”

“I love you too, Toshi.”

“In advance, I’m so sorry for being a weirdo.”

“But you’re my weirdo.”

Cue squealing. But after that, it went spiraling down. A month and a week went by without communication from him; no updates, no greetings, no nothing. You decided to confront him about your concerns. You understand that he’s busy at work and you were always supportive and understanding at his job were his top priority.

But couldn’t he at least spare you a few minutes of his free time, maybe when he woke up or during his breaks. You didn’t ask for more so you were slightly disappointed with him as it worried you that he worked 6am-2am everday without holiday breaks besides Nov.1-2.

You voiced those concerns to him, he apologized and you forgave him. But this behavior of his continued on and this made you sad, other would say you’re depressed but you were too occupied with thoughts of him; his voice; the feeling he gave you, etc.

For another month and three days, you confront him again but this time he left your pm and blocked you. You panicked as negative thoughts flooding your mind.

Did you do anything wrong? You weren’t too clingy, right? Your chat wasn’t too honest, right?

You somehow managed to calm your mind after a couple of minutes and through logical evaluation and elimination, you concluded that you didn’t do anything wrong. But the questions remain: Why did he leave? Why did he blocked you?

For the longest time, you couldn’t answer that. You spend your time drifting off from reality and to your memories with Toshi while day-by-by you lessen your interactions with your online friends, seemingly just vanishing from thin air.

You felt empty, a void of loneliness filled you as you went your way through your own life, not knowing what to do with yourself or even feel. Why did it come to this? Everything went fine, you two were happy so why? Why did he suddenly leave you all alone like that?

———————————————————————

Today was the reunion of UA batch [number]. Shinsou stood in the far corner of the Gym Gamma, his back leaning against the wall as he observed everyone and everything. He noticed an unfamiliar yet familiar (h/c) locks, he watch as you talked with Sero, Tokoyami, Shouji, and Ojirou. You were especially close to Ojirou, you practically by his side with your arm linked with his.

He didn’t know why he was growing irritated and angry at sight of you being in someone else’s arms when he damn well know that you deserve to move on after what he’d done to you after all those three years but still… He had hoped that you actually waited for him.

You were suddenly called by Kirishima as you leaned towards Ojirou and whispered a soft ‘see you’ before walking towards to him.

“(Y/n)-chan! I want you to meet someone!” He said as he dragged you towards where a lone lavender haired man stood before running away. You opened your mouth to objects but it was already too late, he was gone. You looked at the stranger and felt that same connection when you met him, you knew. Although not having to see his face, you just knew that it was him: Shinsou.

“(L/n) (f/n)! Nice to meet’cha!” You cheered brightly, just like when you first introduced yourself to him.

“I know.” he replied. “I’m Shinsou Hitoshi.” God, why I am so lame. He thought.

“Oh! Nice to finally and officially meet you, Shinsou-san!” You smiled as you raised your glass towards him.

Why did you have to call him like a stranger? And not the usual ‘Toshi’ you would always call him?

He clicked his glass with yours and took a sip as his eyes spotted a shiny accessory on your ring finger, making his heart froze. That’s why. You were engaged. Of course, why wouldn’t you be? You were ever so patient, understanding and supportive. It didn’t even surprise him.

When you finished you glass, you excused yourself as Jirou announces the last song for tonight that is written by the guess before she yelled out your name and you climbed up the stage.

“Love do you know?

We've been growing apart

And you should know

That for me that's hard

Darling I'm scared if I let you go, oh

This will be goodbye for good

It's easier this way

I'll spare my heart some pain

Even though I know it isn't true

It's easier this way

I'll spare my heart some pain

Even though I know it isn't true

‘I never loved you’

And I won't say

That I knew it from the start

So you can say

That we weren't torn apart

'Cause for me, oh it's easier to bleed, oh

When I know you can sleep so I keep telling myself

It's easier this way

I'll spare my heart some pain

Even though I know it isn't true

It's easier this way

I'll spare my heart some pain

Even though I know it isn't true

I feel numb when the drums slow down

Oh, leave me dumb so I can't tell myself

Myself, oh

It's easier this way

I'll spare my heart some pain

I already know that it just isn't true

It's easier this way

I'll spare my heart some pain

Even though I know it isn't true

‘I never loved you’.”

Part 2, maybe???

[guigz1-coldwar]

'Sticking together' : New chapter for "Redemption in a Spirit in a Cold War" is out !

'Sticking together'

Chapter Summary : Bell is getting ready to put her life in line to save Park from Perseus.....

To read it on AO3, click here !

Words : +4800

--------------------------

'You're fucking serious ?'......That was the thing I could see AND heard from Mason, Woods & Adler at the same time. They couldn't believe one single second that I will be proposing this idea at all and that I would volunteer myself to be the main element of that plan. Who would be so damn crazy to let themselves captured ? Well....I was the only one that could answer that question and I was that person who was crazy to do it. Here, it was the life of Park that was at stake and if I had to put mine in line to save her from Perseus.....so be it !

They all argued with me, saying that it was too dangerous for me to put myself in danger and because of my previous links with Perseus himself but I didn't care about the last thing. If we were going to kill those who has taken Park, who will know that I was here ? Minutes after minutes, they realized that it was in fact the only plan that we could have without risking to lose Park during our fight to get her back as the possibility that Perseus kill her before we attack the place......no, that wasn't going to happen !

Finally, we finally agreed together that my plan will be used to save Park :  I will be 'taken prisoner' by Duriot himself as he will use the car I have stolen to transport me to the meeting point at the Tempelhof Airport. Then, I will maybe be brought with Park herself and I could free myself and then her, allowing us to attack Perseus's mens from two sides : from the outside for Mason, Woods, Sims & Adler and from the inside with me & Park after I freed her. That is the plan we're having right now....the only possible plan.....

After that, Mason & Woods started to prepare the equipment they will use for their attack, Sims were keeping an eye on Duriot for the moment as Adler explained him the situation and his usefulness for our plan, warning him that no cooperation from him will led him to his quick death and somehow, Duriot agreed to help us even if we all have some doubts about him but now, he's the only person that we have for our plan. After that, Adler make some calls to call for backup from the CIA and informing them of the plan.

Me.....I just needed to prepare myself for my acting again a second time in a day and staying in the main room, watching the others doing their part wasn't going to help me at all and I decided to go to the bathroom, trying to appease myself. I arrived in it and the first thing I did was to put my hands around the sink, looking at it and then at the mirror, seeing my face filled with dressings all around it.......why I am such a walking mess ?......Why I can't be fucking normal ?....Why all this shit for someone like me ?.....

While I was looking at me in the mirror, I could still hear them.....her screams....her pleadings for my name. I'm trying to save her because I wasn't fast.....I'm trying to save her because I love her and I believe in her, she didn't deserve what happened to her : learning that she was tortured for months....that has literally broke a part of me. I think that everything she has been trying to fight has come back in one day. I have to save her, save myself.....save us !

"Kid." I hear this and I looked through the mirror to reveal Adler standing, leaned against the door frame of the bathroom that I left open.

"Stop calling me kid !" I whispered, not moving my head at all to see him in person, still facing the mirror "I'm not your friend....and I'm 31, now." I was still holding the sink with my hands, not trying to break it.

"I wanted to talk to you in private." He said, having his arms crossed, his glare focused on my face.

"Hmm...." I muttered silently, wondering what he want to say.

"I wanted to say that I'm sorry !" He exclaimed, getting my attention as I move to face him in person, looking away from the mirror.

"You.....you're sorry ?" I started, confused at hearing Russell Adler in person that he's sorry to me after what he did to me, he nodded at my question. "Sorry.....sorry for what ?"

"For everything." He added but I couldn't believe it from him.

"Everything ?" I repeated his words. "Sorry to have fuck with my mind ? Sorry to have me act like I was your fucking puppet ? Sorry to have put me in a coma for 3 years ? Sorry to treat me like shit ?" Each question to him was raising my voice louder and louder as his face decomposed itself before I stopped myself.

"Yes..." He replied in a low voice, looking down at his feets.

"No." I told him, I couldn't accept his apologies from him, what he did can't be undone, I'm now living with his memories and his actions can't be forgiven "I'm not accepting your bloody apologies."

"Hey, you can do...."

"Better ?" I cut him straight, having guessed his last word in advance. "This is what I'm doing, I'm trying to do better by trying to remove you from my head but I can't forgive what you did." I looked away for a second, just wanting to be alone but he was staying there, looking at me.

"And you forgive Park, like that ?" He added, sniffing at me "She was maybe against brainwashing you but she manipulated you into loving her."

"Oh, yeah ?" I started as I was clenching my fists "I know that she's hating herself for having helping you and I understand why. She apologized to me....3 years ago after I left that room and those revelations you did."  I pointed him with my left index finger, showing my angriness at him"For 3 years, she believed me to be dead because you lied to everyone, she has been through hell for months because you and the CIA refused to save her in North Korea and now, I'm putting my life in line to save her because I know that no one will move its fingers to do it."

"Maybe you're right but...." He started

"Of course, I'm right !" I cut him again for the second time, frustated to see him still in denial with me.

"You know, you don"t have to do this." He exclaimed clearly

"If I don't do this, who will ?" I asked, biting my lips and looking at him with wide eyes, he was looking away in shame and I realized that I was right : I'm the only one who can do this. "I'm pretty sure that you were happy to see her in that North Korean prison."

"No, do you think that I'm a monster to think one second of that ?" He asked me and I raised an eyebrow to him, he's already a monster and I saw it well. "I cared about her !" He added, sure of himself.

"You don't try to strangle the people you cared about." I said, referring to the day when I faced him for the first time....when I saw him put his hand on her throat. "You never cared a single minute for her." I then looked back at the mirror, my hands back on the sink "You just saw her like nothing....like me, you just saw us as stupid lesbians." I added, taking back his own words he used to describe me & Park back on that stretch. "I love her, I'll help her....I'll save her !" I affirmed before I started to remove the dressings that was on my face, realizing that Perseus need to believe that Duriot was the one who captured me.

"Mason healed you !" Adler told me as I was removing one by one, my dressings.

"I need to act like if Duriot was the one to win the fight, do you think he would like to heal a enemy ?" I affirmed, finally turning back around after I was finished with my face. "I need to fool them enough."  I added before I could see Woods arriving behind Adler, equipped with some military gear and his famous headband.

"We intercepted communications from the Tempelhof Airport : Perseus men are there ! Apparently, they are waiting for Duriot to come." Woods first said, finally breaking that moment between me & Adler. He looked at me, seeing my face without the dressings. "Do you think you're ready ?" I nodded,

"Well, let's go save one of us." Adler ordered as he leave the room, passing next to Woods before I followed him.

There were no step back for me and I don't think I can't afford to think about this option. I'm the only one in here that can succesfully fool Perseus men from the inside and save Park from them. It's a big risk that I'm taking but it's a good one to take. We left the bathroom to join the main room where Mason was finished to have prepared himself to the mission as Sims was still watching Duriot with a close eye. He was freed from the interrogation room and he knows well that he can't try a thing to escape as he will die the second he will do that.

Adler explained the plan for the last time from his side since I will have to improvise for a part as I don't exactly how it will play for me. They will have to wait for the good moment before they could act freely without having me or Park harmed at all. To reinforce the credibility of our actions, it was decided that I will have to have my hands tied up with a rope and my head covered in a bag, I can thanks Woods to have think of this idea that wasn't bad at all.

Once it was done, it was time for Duriot to play his own role, been watched by the others as he was given a empty gun to not trying anything on me or to lead us to a wrong place and that....he didn't know. Now, I had my hands tied up and my head in a bag as I was lead by Duriot himself to the car I used to bring him here. The bag on the head allowed me to see a little throught it and I could see the others watching him closely as he decided to directly put me inside the car trunk before he closed it, making my vision go all dark.....awaiting until we were arrived in destination.

Working on the floppy disk concerning Operation Chaos leaded by an rogue CIA agent named Robert Aldrich was like an pain in the ass because there weren't any big things that could have helped me but by the odds, I was able to decrypt it thanks to piece of paper containing a secret code as well with the title of a newspaper who were hiding also a cod.

I was finally finished with it and I decided to stand up from my desk to get a coffee after working non-stop on it for hours. The safehouse was pretty silent for the moment as I was the only one present in it. I was arriving next to the coffee machine, starting it.

"Hey !" A familiar voice said behind me, causing me to jump scare in place as I thought to be alone. I turned around to realize that it was Park herself.

"Damnit....almost gave me a heart attack !" I exclaimed, scared and angry at the same time. "I thought I was alone."

"I'm sorry, Jess." She apologized, putting her left hand on me before she looked away in the Dark Room direction. "Are you free ?"

"For ?" I asked, raising an eyebrow and catching my breath as I was scared as hell by her.

"I need help with some pictures you have made back in Ukraine." She explained, causing me to put my cup of coffee back in the coffee machine.

"Need extras hands, I see...." I smiled at her, saying it in a kinky voice

"Do that means yes ?" She asked, narrowing her eyes at me, I nodded and then I followed her.

I wasn't so sure of why she would have needed help on the pictures I have made in Ukraine since I thought that it was done days ago but anyways, I complied to follow her slowly until we were arrived in the room. I was the first to arrive in it and the first thing I did was to look at the table where the pictures were usually put on but there were nothing on it. I turned around to look at Park who in a second, has closed the door and directly pulled me in for a kiss.

I was also surprised from her to doing that but I should have expected it before as it was very suspicious from her to ask me help on something that I knew was done after we came back from Ukraine. I decided to reinforce the kiss who lasted a few moments before I was pulled against the empty table by her.

"Well, well, well." I started after we broke the kiss to catch some air for us "That was fast."

"I've been dreaming of touching your lips all day." She affirmed in a lovely voice.

"It's been only one day that we're together and you're acting like if we have been together for years." I said, my arms posed on her shoulders, looking at her with a big smile. "I would like for us to happen for a lot of years."

"I know you will say that." She told, rolling her eyes to look around but for me I wasn't joking, I was meaning it.

"I mean it, Park." I exclaimed, repeating my thoughts to her. "Just me....you....somewhere nice and quiet....maybe in the british countryside." I could see in here that she was looking happy to hear that even if I could feel that there were something strange...until I saw some tears coming from her eyes.

"You....you remember when I talked to Lazar and you about my scar ?" She started, sounding moved as I nodded to her question. "Well, even with that, I'm still feeling ashamed of it....feeling insecure..."

"Hey, it's okay." I whispered, gently cutting before I start to pass my left hand to clean her tears while I passed the other hand through her messy hair. "Your scar like I said the first time, it's highlighting your beauty." I grinned to show her I wasn't lying

"You really want to dream of this with me ?" She asked, looking insecure....not sure of her own words.

"Park, I will do everything for you !" I affirmed, giving my thoughts to her.....what I really think about her. "You're in danger, I will make sure the people who hurt you regret their actions." I added, putting my arms back on her shoulders. "You're my world now."

"I never thought of that from you." She began to smile a little, having heard me.

"I see Laz' like the brother I never had and you....as the woman I always wanted to be with, you are...." I wanted to finish to give my thoughts until she put her index finger in front of my lips.

"Shhhh....you talk too much." She smirked, finally feeling secure and happy with me before she removed her finger from my mouth as she leaned, nearly touching my lips with hers, our foreheads against each other,

"You're also my world but....let's enjoy our moment !"

I was moved to see that memory back, giving me the reasons I'm doing all of this to have her back at my side to fight against Perseus. I'm doing this for her....for me. I tried to not cry because I just relived that special memory but also I need to stay focused on my acting as I'm literally in a car trunk, driven by an Perseus agent and leading me either to the meeting point or to an ambush but the first option was chosen by him as I wasn't freed up. After I woke up one minute of that memory, the car finally stopped, meaning that we were arrived.

The trunk opened, allowing me to see Duriot through the bag, looking stressed but also trying to not screw this up, knowing that he was maybe in a sniper rifle scope sight. He finally took me out of the trunk, freeing me from that car as I could see the night.....he decided to drag me during all the way, to get to what I think to be the meeting point...and a group of Perseus soldiers.

"Duriot !" A man shouted as we were getting close. "You wanker, do you realize that we almost got caught by the US Army ?" I started to recognize slowly that voice....Stone....Harry Stone himself....here.....masked.

"Sorry to not have myself get caught by the police." Duriot countered him as we were finally arrived....he dropped me at Stone's feets I could see through my bag. "Got a problem to deal with." He then redressed me on my knees.

"I think I told everyone that only the british was the one to take." Stone proclaimed, crossing his arms. "The passenger....you could have killed her."

"Yeah but she can be useful for us." Duriot said, having one of his hands, touching me, wanting to control me in case. "I managed to beat her and to capture before the cop arrived."

"And she managed to break two of your fingers ?" Stone must have seen the broken fingers I did to Duriot throught the gloves he was wearing. "You're an amateur or something, frenchie ?"

"Don't call me an amateur, sale batard !" I could see the two facing each other, almost getting into hands as Duriot was clenching his fists.

"That's not what 'Wraith' is thinking of you !" Stone told him, spreading his arms, meaning he was ready to fight with Duriot in case. I was wondering who could 'Wraith' until.....

"What the hell is going here ?" A woman said, going out of the plane, breaking me out of my....that voice....Fre....Freya....no.....what is she doing here ?.....She was masked but I could see her eyes....her hair changed by a lot.....

"Ah.....'Wraith' " Stone replied as Freya was approaching us...she was this 'Wraith'.... "Frenchie brought to us the passenger that was with Park." He added, moving himself, allowing her to face me.

"Duriot, the passenger was meant to stay in that car." She exclaimed, clearly like an order. "You took a risk to take them here."

"Maybe but....she was tough and it was better for me to take them as well." Duriot defended himself before Stone approached him.

"Show us their face !" He ordered, causing Duriot to put his hand on the bag. I was fearing that moment, seeing Freya and Stone in the eyes as they both know me. I was going to break down but I realized that I need....to be 'Bell'....I don't know them.... He finally removed the bag, allowing Freya and Stone to see my face.....I could see their eyes going wide and petrified at my sight as me.....I was keeping a straight face....painfully....

"Duriot...." Freya said, slowly "She was the passenger ?" Duriot nodded "It's you who did this ?" She showed him the multiple wounds that was on my face.

"Yeah, cette salope, she was mainly....." He started, enthusiastic.....until he was completely cut off by Freya herself....a bullet right in the head, killing him with her pistol before she looked at a soldier next to me.

"You !" She pointed him, sounding very angry. "Get her in the plane with the british, I need to talk with Stone." The soldier executed himself and moved to grab me.

I was shocked.....in all the possible situations, I just saw Freya for the first time in person.....in real since years and I don't know how it was possible at all to meet her here as I'm trying to save Park. My look was on her as the soldier was dragging me inside the plane until she was completely out of my sight. I could hear her saying to Stone to quickly flee the area and to not talk about this at all, having realized that it was me....the mysterious passenger.

The soldier finally opened a door, leading to a secluded part of the cargo hold of the plane where I could see Park after long hours for me, tied up to the wall, a headband covering her eyes....her face showing signs of fears at hearing the soldier arriving with me. She was wounded too at her face and her clothes were badly in shape, one of her coat sleeves was almost away from her jacket and there were some holes in her jeans....they tortured her for some times before bringing her here.

After installing me on the ground in front of Park, the soldier left the room, leaving me alone with Park. Thanks to Mason who was the one who tied up my hands, he didn't make them so hardly, allowing me in any occasions to remove the ropes around them and to put them back like nothing happened. Once I was freed from the rope, keeping it around my hands in case, I decided to move to get to Park, to release her.

"Don't touch me !" She started, sounding panicked and trying to move, blocked by her links as I touched her shoulder.

"Park, it's me !" I exclaimed, wanting to reassure but she was still panicking.

"Please, don't touch me.....please...." I could hear her starting to cry behind her headband, covering her eyes....she....she must have relived her nightmares....."Please...." She continued, making me moved...in pain to see her like that....

"It's me...." I whispered before I decided to remove the headband, allowing me to see her eyes again....filled of tears....moved....in pain...."It's me...." I repeated again.

"Yi-....Yirina ?" She said, slowly realizing that it was me....only me "Yirina !" She ontinued, grinning a little and taking back her breath after the scare she had.

"I'm here, I came for you." I affirmed, putting my hand on her face

"You....you came....for....for me !" She was getting relieved, smiling more.

"I'm gonna get you out of here, Park." I told her as I started to remove her links, blocking her hands to the wall but there were more hard than me but then, I started to hear some footsteps coming towards the room, making me panick. "Okay..." I started, moving back to sit. "Act like if I was still named 'Bell'." I ordered her and she nodded as she has maybe realized who was there, the door opened, to reveal Freya.....unmasked.

"Well, you managed to remove your headband." Freya said, having seen Park without her headband around her eyes but instead of focusing more on her, she moved to get next to me. "Yiri..."  She whispered as I was still keeping a straight face towards her.

"Don't touch 'Bell' !" Park spoke, acting like I said even if I could see that she was having troubles to say that name again.

"I'm not talking to you !" Freya pointed her, angry before she focused back on me, this time, getting in front of me. "It's been....3 years."

"3 years ?" I fainted an incomprehesion to her, playing 'Bell' "3 years of what ?"

"I thought that you were dead, Yirina." She replied, sadness in her voice.

"Who the fuck is Yirina ?" I asked, raising an eyebrow as inside of me, I was pleading myself to stop acting.

"It's you !" She put her hand on my left shoulder but I slowly moved to get it away.

"Bullshit, I'm 'Bell'....Jessica Blackwell !" I smirked at her, using my old identity....the fake one....stop it, Yiri !....."I don't know you." She then put her hands on my face, holding it gently.....before she leaned herself to kiss me on the lips, taking me by surprise and making my eyes wide open.

I.....I was more shocked than before....Freya & me, it was more than just 'sisters' link but.....we were together, romantically involved.....in love. I never ever thought of that possibility but now, it was true : I was with her before all of that. I was more surprised than Park herself who were also shocked to see that happening in front of her. I wasn't taken aback but I acted like if I was.

"3 years I missed you, that I missed those lips...." Freya breathed, smiling from it but then, her face goes in horror when she saw me.

"I...I don't know you !" I said again, my voice on the verge of cracking down. She was....starting to cry, tears falling down her eyes.

"What...what did they do to you, Yiri ?" She asked before we started to hear some loud noises outside the plane, like multiple gunshots, causing everyone to look at the door as someone opened it at the same time.

"Duriot was followed, the CIA is here along with the US Army !" A soldier shouted to her and at this moment, I decided to act to liberate me & Park....even if I had to hit Freya, something that I never wanted to do as Yirina.

I took the advantage that she was looking away to free myself from the rope wrapped around my hands and then, I punched Freya in the face and in the same time, grabbing the gun she had strapped on her bulletproof vest before I pushed her away with my feets, the other soldier tried to react with his own gun but I quickly reacted by shooting him three times dead before he fall inside the room. Once I dealt with him, I moved rapidly to free Park from her links as Freya was knocked out on the ground.

"I'm sorry, she took me by surprise." I exclaimed with an smile to Park, still acting as I feared that Freya was still awake, winking at Park to continue as well. "Not jealous ?" I scoffed, removing her links around her hands

"No..." Park replied in a low voice, she was still shocked to see Freya kissing me but she has maybe realized at the same time that I wasn't aware of it as well. "Good job....'Bell'." She added, finally free as I help her to get up.

"Time for us to go home." I said, putting one of her arms behind my neck as she was apparently hurt at her right leg.

We started to slowly go out of the room, Freya's gun still in hand, checking if there were anybody to surprise us at all during our escape. Everyone was looking busy outside fighting Adler's team and we were near the door that could have allowed us to get out of that plane until I was hit by someone behind me, causing me to fall with Park along me. When I looked who did this, it was Freya herself, that were going to strike me again until I make her fall touch with my legs.

"Go ! I'll take care of her !" I ordered Park to get out of the place without me as we were just at the exit of the plane. Even if she was wounded at her leg, she was able to move with difficulty without me as I was getting up, awaiting Freya to get up as well.

"They're manipulating you, Yirina !" Freya shouted, angry....lost....sad....all at the same time.

"Shut up !" I yelled in return before I decided to move to attack her. I had no choices but I was still acting and I wanted it to stop but I couldn't do it at all....my body pleaded me to stop but I couldn't.

I threw myself on her, wanting to tackle her down but she resisted to not fall and she decided to nudge at my back, exactly where my gunshot wound was, causing me to scream in pain as I tried to fight back, I removed myself from her and I was going to hit her in the face but she moved in a second and quickly kneekick me in the chest and suddenly, she striked me precisely at the throat with her hand, stopping any air to come in and out of me.....breathless.

"No !" She exclaimed, realizing what she has done as she put her hands on me. I was holding my throat in pain, my knees on the ground. "Yirina, I'm so sorry, I didn't want to...."  I stopped her by pushing away before slowly walking out of the plane, slowly and in difficulty "Yirina !" She shouted.

"'Wraith, we have to go !"  I could hear someone said as I was out of the plane.

I then start to see the door of the plane closing, seeing Freya for the last time before it was completely closed and the plane was starting its engines, taking off second after second as me...I fall on my knees, trying to have a breath, holding my throat in pain. The gunshots were over but I was in trouble as I fall on my back, looking at the dark skies of the city.

"Yirina !" I could hear Park arriving next to me and start to hold me, having seen me in trouble. She realized that I was breathless and she looked around "Medic, help !" She yelled as I could see some peoples running towards us before she looked at me, scared. "It's going to be okay, Yirina !" I tried to smile but I was feeling that I was going to pass out....maybe die, I put my right hand on her face, trying at my best to reassure her....

"Gonna....be....okay !"

[ai-suru-hito-yo]

Daddy's Home!

As a thank you to @bohemian-rhapsody-slash for setting us safely off to sea aboard this ship, I give you some modern AU Deazzello! I hope you like it, babe. Thanks for all the great content you give us.

Pairing: Joe Mazzello/John Deacon, established relstionship

Warnings: implied smut, mostly more tooth rotting fluff, POV switch (sections clearly separated)

Summary: John comes home from Queen's first tour of Japan, exhausted but dying to see his husband and newly adopted daughter. Joe has stayed home, on a break in his own career, to take care of little Christine, and did not realize just how much he'd missed John.

Author's Notes: This is a modern AU. The timeline for the band is still the same, in that John joined Queen when he was 19 and things progress at the same pace, it's just that in this AU that happened in 2014 instead of 1971. He met Joe shortly after, who at the time of this story is 28, and they have been married for just shy of 3 years. They both now live in London.

John twirled the rings on his fingers, leg bouncing in the back of the cab that was currently taking him from Heathrow to his London townhouse. His husband had offered to come pick him up himself, but John had not replied to the text that awaited him upon landing. He was sure wrestling a 14-month-old into a carseat for such a short amount of time would not be worth it. He could survive a 15 minute cab ride on his own.

God, John was regretting it, now. He missed his family dearly. He missed Joe's warm eyes and thick auburn hair. He missed Joe's long fingers and soft lips. He missed sleeping next to his husband at night. While the hotels Queen stayed in on their Japanese tour were comfortable enough, John found he simply could not sleep as well by himself anymore.

He missed little Christine as well. Seeing the Japanese children gather around them, fascinated by the tall Westerners with their long hair and pale skin, left an ache in his heart for his own little one. She had only been theirs for a year now, and she had them both wholly wrapped around her little finger. With her big, dark eyes and soft brown ringlet curls, one look at either of them had their hearts absolutely melting. And now John had been away for three months. Would she even remember him? Sure, he had gotten to see her a few times over FaceTime, but being so young, she could not quite associate Joe's phone screen with her daddy, and lost interest quickly.

John looked out the window at the rainy London streets, trying to pinpoint exactly where he was. Only about 5 more blocks, now...

---------------------------------------------------

Joe sighed as he stared out the kitchen window into the soggy back garden. John was due home today, and Joe had kept his phone all but glued to his side, awaiting a message that his husband's flight had landed and he was ready to be picked up. No such message had come in, and Joe was starting to grow worried. Just as he picked his phone up to try calling his husband, he heard a cry over the baby monitor.

"Papa!"

Christine was awake, and quickly becoming distressed to find herself alone in the nursery. She must still be groggy. In that in-between state, she often became panicked if she did not see a familiar face upon waking. Joe quickly ascended the stairs, and turned the corner into the nursery as another distressed cry of, "Papaaa!" reached his ears.

"I'm here, little one," Joe soothed the babe, reaching into the crib to pull his daughter into his arms. "Sshh, Papa's here."

Christine leaned back in Joe's embrace, watching him speak, before reaching out to grab at his lips.

"What do you need, baby?" Joe asked her, trying to encourage her to communicate. She was exceptionally smart, and had picked up the baby sign language he was teaching her with ease. However, she had yet to start standing on her own or walking at all. The pediatrician assured Joe at her one year check-up that it was nothing to worry about, some babies simply learn to walk later than others.

Joe watched as Christine raised her tiny hand so her thumb rested against her forehead. Joe's heart melted.

"Daddy will be home today. Soon our family will be whole again, and you will have nothing to fear, my little star," Joe kissed his daughter's forehead and started to move towards the stairs with her, bringing her favorite stuffed monkey along. Joe felt a tiny hand tug at his hair, which was his daughter's unfortunate way of gaining his attention when he was within arm's reach. Christine pressed her closed fingers up to her lips, and Joe headed toward the kitchen and set her down in her high chair for a snack.

Once Christine was finished with her Cheerios and waved her hands signalling "all done!" Joe brought her into the lounge to sit on her mat and play while they waited to hear from John.

When Joe finally did hear the front door open, he sat up straight in the armchair he was occupying and set aside the book he'd been pretending to read. He's home, he's finally home, Joe thought.

Joe rose from the chair just in time to see John come around the corner from the foyer. They each froze, simply taking in each other's appearance for a moment. John looked so soft in a dark hoodie with Freddie's Queen logo on it, and his favorite jeans which left nothing to the imagination. More than anything, though, Joe drank in the sight of his husband's face. John looked even more beautiful than Joe remembered. His eyes were squinty with a soft smile and lack of sleep, his hair mussed from the flight and framing his pouty lips in the most delectable way. Joe' blood flow started to redirect itself south at the memory of what that mouth could do.

Oi, get it together, man. Your daughter is right there.

"John--"

Joe was cut off as John crossed the room in three strides and smashed their mouths together.

---------------------------------------------------

John paid the cab driver and thanked him again before pulling his bags out and looking toward his front door. God, it felt good to be back already, and he had not even crossed the threshold yet. John practically ran up to the door, fumbling for his key and nearly dropping it in his haste to get it in the lock. Once the door was open and he had abandoned his bags in the foyer, John listened for a moment for signs of life. He could hear Christine babbling happily in the lounge, and the rustling of fabric shifting as he walked around the corner.

John froze.

God, that's MY husband? He's so beautiful.

John drank in the sight of Joe looking relaxed and casual in dark jeans and a cotton, long sleeve shirt in the most delectable cream color. He clearly had not shaved that morning, and his hair was slightly mussed at the front, as if someone had been grabbing at it. His warm eyes were shining with emotion, and John saw a flash of pink as Joe's tongue darted out to lick his lips.

"John--"

John did not let Joe finish as he moved quickly to his husband, took his face in his hands, and kissed him, hard, hoping to relay in one simple movement how much he had missed the other man. John relaxed a little, softening the kiss as he felt Joe's hands tangle into his long hair. His own hands settled on Joe's slim hips, teasing a little at where Joe's shirt had ridden up above his waistband.

"John, oh my god, John. I missed you. I missed you so much. I can't believe you're here!"

"I'm here Joe, yes, I'm here. I know, I missed you, too. I could hardly sleep and I missed your touch and your smell and your warmth."

They dove back in for another kiss, and just as John was opening his mouth to let Joe in, he felt something fairly solid smack against his leg. He pulled back and looked at Joe for a minute, slightly disoriented, before he heard an excited screech from the floor.

"DADDY!"

John looked down to see little Christine holding onto his leg, wobbling as she tried to stay standing on her unsteady feet.

"Oh my god. Oh my GOD!" Joe exclaimed as John bent down to pick his daughter up. "Oh, Christine! My baby!" Joe lunged forward to wrap them into a hug. John was overcome with emotion at the fact his daughter remembered him. And apparently she was walking now? Another milestone he had missed.

He turned watery eyes to his husband, only to see hot tears sliding down the other man's face. He lifted his free hand from Joe's back and swiped at his cheeks.

"Joe, my love, what's wrong? Why are you crying?"

"Oh, John, nothing's wrong. Nothing at all!

"Then why are you crying, honey?"

"John, she's never done that before! Those were her first steps!"

John turned to look at Christine in awe. She was preoccupied with babbling nonsense about her monkey, oblivious to the fact that her fathers' world was in an uproar. "Wh-what?"

"I've been working with her for a good month, now. Trying to get her to stand on her own, trying to get her to walk with me. She would not do it. I thought something was wrong, even though the doctor said she's probably just a late bloomer." Joe leaned forward to kiss his daughter's short curls.

"You mean I didn't miss her first steps?" John whispered as he felt the tears spilling over.

"No!" Joe cupped John's face and wiped at the tears with his shirt sleeve. "Oh, no, John you didn't. She was saving them for you. She was waiting for her daddy."

John buried his face against Christine's onesie and shook with silent sobs. Joe wrapped them both in an embrace, and John held on as tight as he dared, until Christine became restless and started squirming. "Papa! Daddy!"

John straightened up before suddenly lifting Christine toward the ceiling, eyes crinkling with laughter as the baby giggled with glee.

"Careful!" John could hear the laughter in Joe's voice. "She just had her afternoon snack, get too silly and she might throw up on you."

John laughed again. "I don't even care! I'm just so happy to be home again! I'm so happy to have my man and my girl in my arms again."

---------------------------------------------------

Later than night, after a quick dinner and hasty clean-up, the whole Deacon family settled down together on the sofa for a cuddle. John held Christine against his chest as she dropped off to sleep, while Joe tucked his legs under him and leaned against John's shoulder, at the perfect angle to watch his daughter's face soften in slumber as she rose and fell with her daddy's breathing.

"Is she asleep?" Joe felt more than he heard John's voice.

"Yeah. She is," he whispered back, tucking a loose curl behind the sleeping girl's ear.

"Mmm. Well then, Mr. Deacon," Joe felt a shiver at John's low voice calling him by his married name. "Let me get this little one tucked in, and then let me give you a proper greeting."

Joe looked up at John, a sly smile spreading across his pink lips.

"Only if I get to give you a proper 'welcome home', husband."

John stood with a grace and speed Joe had never seen the man use before, and was halfway up the stairs, Christine still asleep, before Joe even knew what happened.