#i can see them as the type of people to make loving transphobic jokes LOL

[pinkopalina]

butt-head flirting back with beavis like "let a real man do this" and like when he was trying to open the door to the house and when he was like "ladies first lol" about going through the window

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for insisting my roommate not get me a Christmas present/WIBT if I insist even more?

🎁 so I can find this later!

TLDR WIBTA if I insist harder than I already have that my (unaware of being transphobic) roommate not get me a gift for Christmas, since my being autistic and nonbinary may complicate things?

Sorry for the long one, there's a lot of context going into this.

I (18X) am a college freshman and am rooming with a person I didn't know beforehand. Our rooming situation is weird, so neither of us had talked to each other at all before moving in. I'll call her S (18F).

S is a very big gift-giver; it's her love language. She's gotten me a couple things in the past and has wanted me to try things so she can see if they'd make for good gifts. The problem is, I'm more on the masc side of being nonbinary, as well as the fact that I have low-intensity ASD, so usually the stuff she would want to get me (skin care, makeup, etc) is never exactly my style (most notably, she wanted me to see how a skin cream felt and I ended up complaining a bit too much, embarrassingly, before realizing that it was rude and assuring her that I appreciated the gesture, which I think helped her feel a little bit better) (another add-on, she knows I'm nonbinary, but still refers to me as a girl and uses she/her for me, which is why she keeps wanting me to try feminine products. I've played it off as not caring because I'm low key a little scared of her lol (in the way that anxious people are scared of confident people))

Because of said confidence, she tends to dominate conversations, and I'm always happy to listen, as someone who doesn't talk much myself. Because of this, I know she loves plushies and has a history with them, so for Christmas a couple weeks ago I ordered her a plushie online and snuck it into our dorm for her to find, and she ended up loving it.

Thing is, as she told me this, she said she was going to get something once she went home for the break. Apparently it's going to be expensive, too, since she joked that she told her mom to prepare for an expensive purchase beforehand.

I insisted that she not get me the gift, and that I didn't need one, but she is incredibly stubborn about it and was set in her ways of getting me one.

This is very nice of her obviously, and I appreciate the gesture, but.. I genuinely don't like being given gifts. If it's a mutually-discussed thing before-hand, sure, but most of the time gifts are a no-go. I don't exactly like giving gifts and I dislike being given gifts even more. There's way too much unpredictability, and because of my ASD, whenever I get a gift I don't like, I end up complaining about it without thinking, before realizing it's rude and assuring the person that I really do appreciate it. I've tried working on this before, but it's something I can't help— it literally happens without me thinking. As well as that, I only really knew what she'd liked because I actively listened to her a lot and spent over two months using the information I had gathered on her to get her the perfect gift. I am awful about this, since I'm very bad at coming up with gifts for people and this process— taking multiple months just to figure out what to get her— is the best I can do. I'd much rather hang out with people and buy stuff for them on the town, like paying for a dinner or sweets or whatever. The only reason I went through all of this for her is because 1 I appreciate her trying to be nice to me despite the fact that I am literally the type of person she'd bully in high school, 2 it's Christmas, and 3 it feels like I'm repaying her for trying to buy me all this stuff

So her getting me this gift just.. wouldn't sit right with me. I'm terrified of her getting me something I won't like and complaining about it before I can even think because of my ASD, and it'd feel like a massive debt to repay that'd eat at me forever. Plus, despite trying her best to respect my identity, she.. doesn't really know how transphobic she is, and I'm worried she might get me something very cutesy feminine that'd either make me 1 act uncomfortable or 2 lie to her and reaffirm her beliefs that I'm just female-lite. So, this is where my problem lies. WIBTA if I insist harder for her to not get me a present, despite it being her love language?

What are these acronyms?

[fanonical]

So in your mind what’s w the garudo? To me they seem to think presentation = gender way more than the other peoples.

But in your version what’ll you be doing? Sorry if this one’s a bit blugh

no, i think you hit it square on the head. there is some semblance of a gender binary culturally recognised by the gerudo (they, after all, interact with men all the time) but as of BOTW/TOTK, the traditional gerudo culture dictates young gerudo girls of a certain age move to Gerudo City, which forbids men from entry. that's how it is on paper, anyway -- in actual fact, Link can walk right up to the guards in front of Gerudo City, be perceived as a "guy" and thus refused entry, then change into women's clothing IN FRONT OF THEM, and be allowed in, whereupon there is nothing Link can do to be kicked out from Gerudo City other than change out of the outfit.

In reality, the Doylist answer to this is it's a videogame abstraction -- and the whole thing is rather transphobic & racist too; a lot of the stuff going on with the Gerudo is between "kinda" and "very" racist just in general. i don't know how to (or if i adequately can?) address all of the problems there in my fic? . "desert race of giantess middle eastern warrior women" goes pretty deep to the core with this one, and that's before you get onto Ganondorf. and the whole stuff with the crossdressing... look man, if other people thought the Vilia storyline was meant to be progressive or sympathetic, i guess i'm glad they got that out of it, but it felt like a big transphobic joke to me. i'm changing pretty much all of this, and a bunch of other stuff. i still think it's not gonna be perfect (not really for me to say how unsalvageable some of the Gerudo stuff is in terms of racism, but i think i'm gonna reach out and talk to a couple of my friends about it and how they feel and what they might do etc) but i'll be changing stuff, and emphasising the good changes Nintendo has made over time whilst rejecting the worse ones

one thing i think i will do on the transphobia front is change it so that Gerudo City will allow trans women inside the walls if we are actively performing femininity to some degree. now, this is of course transphobic too, but i think it's kind of interesting to explore a more complex situation where trans women are a recognised type of person, and by the official legal policies of Gerudo City accepted in as women, but because of overtly binaristic, cisnormative overtones to the society, culture, politics & history there are probably still quite varying reactions, responses to transfemininity etc. because, well, that's my experience in a lot of gendered/women-only spaces! and i'd love to explore that through Link.

i also think that just before the Great Calamity, maybe there weren't as many openly trans people across Hyrule, perhaps due to social conceptions about gender at the time; i think maybe in the pockets of surviving towns and cities and villages 100 years later whilst Link has been asleep, trans people have become more recognised and embraced to some extent -- including in Gerudo City -- but, like in the real world, the change is slow, and some people struggle to see past their preconceived notions about gender. i just think it's more interesting to relate aspects of a #trans Hyrule to the trans experience now (i.e. in a time of great cultural shift for trans people both for good and for bad) but also exploring how and why it would be different in a fantasy post-apocalypse lol. i also don't want to overdo it into a depressive circlejerk of trans misery, either though, so don't worry, it won't be like that, i am making sure to steer very very clear of this.

i do also have maybe some potential reasons as to why there's been a cultural shift on transness in Hyrule (and particularly Gerudo City) in the 100 years after the Calamity though -- and i'd love to say more, but unfortunately, i've already said too much 🤐 gotta leave soooome stuff for the fic, and i have to check some stuff against lore before i commit to it.

great question!

[verylovedcondition]

🫧 introduction 🫧

last update: may 24, 2024

🌟 hiya, i'm eiffel or v! i'm a 21 year old college student with a passion for trinkets and toys of many kinds! i use ey/em, xy/xyr, and they/them pronouns.

🧸 this account is meant to document fun moments and travels of my toys :D ive admired toy travel accounts since about middle school and i've finally decided to go through with it!

💥 i'm a big superhero fan, so most of the toys featured on here will be my superhero figures! i also love plush toys, dolls, and other little figurines, so they will be making appearances here as well.

💭 tagging and more info under the cut!

💫 tagging system: the following tags will be used to organize (subject to change as i... [gestures vaguely] figure out this whole blog)

v's toybox: a general catchall for all my original pics/vids v's thought bubbles: my text posts. for general announcements or feeling/thought sharing, which i'm sure i'll do from time to time friend: [insert name]: this tag is used to separate out my specific toys! my figs & dolls: catchall for my figurines and dolls my plush: catchall for my plush toys eiffel opens stuff: posts of blind box/bag openings. because i like those! new friend alert: intro posts! as new friends are rounded up into posting their little intros will go here (we'll see if i make sure to actually use this tag lol) misc: anything miscellaneous should it end up here for any reason! collector's bin: other people's content! i don't know if i will be reblogging other people's stuff yet, but should i start to, it'll be stashed here!

other tags i will probably be generally using will be those related to toy and plush communities. i will try to very sparingly use fandom related tags so as not to annoyingly spam, but if i think somethin' is particularly fun i want other fans to see, then it might just end up in a fandom tag!

⚠️ disclaimer: because i'm an adult, i might occasionally have my toys in pictures with things like alcohol or other substances, or possibly a funny suggestive joke now and then. these will be tagged appropriately with "[insert topic] cw" so you can filter them out if desired. if you need anything else tagged, please feel free to inform me and i will do my best to tag any future content with it!

⚠️ interaction policies: i don't tolerate any hatred upon my blog. any transphobes/homophobes/racists/etc will be blocked. zionists will be blocked.

additionally, proship will also be blocked, as i am highly uncomfortable with that community and those who identify with it.

i also request my content not be reblogged to specifically ddlg+mdlb+cgl/ageplay/sexual age regression type blogs. i am also very uncomfortable with this interaction. i doubt there will be this style of interaction, but i will disclaim anyways.

sfw agere/kidcore/etc blogs are welcome and not considered to be of the same variety of blogs listed!

[stickynotestoletters]

Yandere BNHA Boys pt 2

Okay, this is a continuation of the first yandere ones I did because I wrote that in basically a night and was too tired to do more, I'm probably gonna post some after for the pro heroes and villains if I have time, I might finish those on the weekend then post it.

This is just a bunch of headcanons I have about the boys in BNHA and what they’d be like as yanderes. Only the really fluffy or good things about them listed here. Neither of these works are a good depictions of a real yandere and make sure to be careful to identify yandere traits in real people around you. It’s a very dangerous world and stay safe!

sorry if you were waiting for me to come out with these and I literally took forever lol, link to the first one is here. It's basically just me comforting myself with the sweet things that I think they would do as yanderes.

Warnings: Brainwashing, blood, gore, death, trans headcanons, body dysmorphia, nonbinary they/he Sero, they/them pronouns + nonbinary headcanons for Tokoyami, he/they nonbinary headcanons with Shinsou, a little NSFW because if I don't specify then they are aged up (around 20-25 is where I imagine the timeline that they actually captured you and have a hero carrier going for them already), manipulation, regular yandere things, kinda just turns into dumbass horknee headcanons at some point after Shinsou (sorry lmfao), objectification

Sero Hanata

so basically the first time they saw you they immediately wanted to come up to you

they love to give you back hugs because once you stop trying to fight them he's gonna be so honored you finally trust him

Big time slut [non-derogetory] for you

Likes to have an apartment that's high up, probably a secured penthouse with lots of windows

If you're afraid of heights they will get a ground bed for you two, they would also vibe with a low hanging hammock if you allow it

they really really like just putting you on a custom made leash, not inherently in a sexual way just in general likes to have it look like that with their tape on you at all times

they really really like it when you come to them for hugs and comfort

If you're a trans reader, if you want a binder he will get you one as soon as you ask, cried when you told him about it.

they cried way more than you though...

Was very accepting as an nb person as well

they custom made you a tape binder of his

Kinda as a joke but high key felt like they were gonna combust at the thought of you wearing that for them

Takes you to pride but you cannot speak

only takes you to pride after they are 1000% sure that you're not gonna speak to anyone but them

Takes you to it as a part of their float because they'd been invited onto the Hero Float

You are in a costume that's exactly like his, helmet and everything, you aren't allowed to be looked at

After that though, it's gonna be your choice to go or not to go

they trust you a little more after you run away from some assholes though and after that sometimes lets you take your helmet off during pride, you have to give them a lot of kisses though

When/if you ever consider any type of surgery he is 110% on board

they demand that you have to have it performed by someone who has done this a million times before, trusts no one else

If there's a way for you to go through it without the surgery they're excited but he's more excited if there is surgery because they love the idea of you being so cuddly and clinging to them for their comfort

Tokoyami Fumikage

haha they're in love with you

like, intensely in love with you the moment they first meet you

Dark shadow thinks you're adorable but says nothing more about their obsession with you

when you met them before UA they absolutely cannot handle being around you in a 10-foot radius

Eventually, though they do try and become a friend of yours

After that, it's a hop on the manipulation train, my dude

they basically make you see them as your savior from a mean uncaring world

they love talking to you about things that make you happy and loving you in little ways

hugs, hand holding, a lot of time it's just a little peck (haha) on the cheek

they love living with you though, like really love it

they like baking and making dinner for you

but especially baking

like really, baking

the manipulation they use makes it seem like everything is okay when you only talk to them so that's what you do and to you, it seems so much better than anything you could do

they haven't come out to you by the time you come out to them so your trans journey really helps them figure things like that out as well

The first time you explain that gender is a made-up construct they're like "yeah......isn't that how everyone feels? Like, not a gender????" we love this for them

you both kind of heal each other through this process

they like seeing you when you're most comfortable so they get you as many binders as you need

also gets you a custom binder like Sero but with feather designs, not like stupid printable patterns but something that is soft and the softness isn't feathers it's regular fluffy cloth

idk I'm not a designer that's why I gave up and became a writer lmao

they also get you a compression corset because they're emo

if there is surgery it takes a lot of time to convince them

they don't ever want you to regret anything they helped you with so it takes a lot of long-winded conversations about it

there was a lot of nervousness on their part because (this is just my headcanon) they were almost convinced to get surgery to construct their face to look human-like

they had a lot of their family tell them that, because of the way they looked, they had less of a chance to become a hero, they were immensely traumatized by this and thus wants to make absolutely sure you were okay with this

but when they finally find themself comforted by you about it it happens quickly and in the safest way you could possibly imagine

Shinso Hitoshi

Shinsou didn't want to approach you at all, he was so scared you'd run away or tell him he's a villain

they always thought that they weren't good enough for you

he loved you but you needed to say hi first

and you did

so he whisked you away

they like to just brainwash you into tasting certain types of food when you're craving them instead of just getting you food

he likes to talk to you in a voice like he would talk to a kitten, not like husky or anything sexy, but something cute and adorable

especially when you're brainwashed and can't say anything to him

He likes to give you lots of soft stuff like I'm talking pillows upon pillows and squishmallows

once he gets his own house they get it in a place that's more comforting in the dark than in the light

they really like the dark and outdoorsy vibe anyway so if they choose a place somewhere in the forest to keep you what's the added bonus if no one can hear you scream?

a little bit of spice; he has this whole a/b/o fantasy (idk it's his vibes that he'd read that fanfic and stuff lmao) and kinda treats you like you were an omega

sometimes if you guys do have sex they'll brainwash you to act like an omega or once he's more experienced with bodily manipulation involving their quirk they'll make you do all of the......omega things

when you come out to them, if you're trans, they're definitely gonna not care

like if you need comfort and stuff about it they will not make a big deal about it

he legit is like "okay .....can I still fuck you or?????"

HE JUST GIVES OFF REALLY HORKNEE VIBES OKAY?????

definitely brainwashes you into not feeling dysphoric anymore though

like loves it when you come up all sad to him and uncomfy just to ask them to brainwash you

he melts over you cuddling them after those times though

if you want surgery they're gonna make sure that it's between him and the doctors that y'all are there

like no one knows you're there, completely off radius, in and out like nothing (he's basically a cryptid in the woods by the time you guys have the surgery, so they wanna make sure no one questions it)

Monoma Neito

bold of you to assume that man can express literally anything when he wants to just sit you on his lap and look at your pretty face

love at first sight taken literally but not in a shallow way

he loves just having you around him

kinda treats you as an accessory at times, talks like you're a purse or something and people don't really comment but it's really freaking them out sometimes when you don't speak up on it

likes to say he's the only one to understand you cause he's afraid you'd leave him

a hardcore fan of collars though

definitely has lots of jewelry that represents him even though you don't go out he still loves the idea of it

big time cook

loves providing for you, never lets you do a damn thing other than watching pre-approved cartoons and hobbies

absolute fucking disaster about hugging you

always has to be touching you

he thinks you're so fucking gorgeous and body worships you even out of the bedroom

if you're trans he will definitely be weird about it at first

he's just diet transphobic

he's not denying it but sometimes he's like "Are you sure???" and stuff

he clears this up with the help of you being pissed enough to not eat or talk to him until he apologizes

he then educates himself on it and comes to the conclusion that he was in fact being an asshole

talks to you about binders and stuff like that

doesn't really believe in surgery, he would never allow you to do that just because it would be too painful for him to see you go through

he instead literally searches the whole fucking globe for a person with a body-altering quirk to make sure you don't get hurt

he seeks out homophobes, transphobes, and other dumbasses on the regular just to kill them like literally it just started out for your approval but now it's just for fun

Anyway, the villain one (if I do it) will probably become just horknee brain rot cause I am a slut. Request some stuff and I'll try to put up some works if y'all want ig.

[campyvillain]

AT LAST YOU HAVE THE VISION TO FIND MY ABOUT....

i’m making this bc i don’t have the energy to go thru making a carrd or separate about page lawl

hi there. call me jackie/stevie/raymond switch it up from time to time yknow. call me whichever one you like most doesn’t matter. he/him only, don’t call me by they/them please.

16, mexican+white (white-passing), tme transmasc acespec butch. don’t call me a woman, i perfer masc terms. autistic, adhd, mentally ill. i love my partner wormie pillbugplushie even when they say something about blood being the gender fluid /lh

so sorry for any typos or anything i have really shaky hands and tbh a lot of the stuff i say is incoherent ramblings. also i have difficultly reading tones and tons of issues w empathy so i can come off as a little mean or cold or my jokes might seem a little puzzling like they only make sense to me but i promise i’m nice. <3

interests.....

^ jack my friend jack do you like him? you better. he is my friend jack twf

special interests: the walten files, phantom of the paradise (best movie ever made), fnaf, character design, cartoons, horror + slashers, splatoon, punk subcultures, plushies, practical gore effects

hyperfixations: fnafvhs series, reanimator, texas chainsaw massacre 1+2, miitopia

normal interests: roller blading, antiques, insects, reptiles and being diabolical and funny and oh so talented!

there’s more i’m probably forgetting lol

dni please god!!!! i use the block button like it was just invented

biphobic/acephobic/panphobic/transphobic etc i could not give a shit less just let people live u cant change my stance on that.

terf/truscum/gender crit

proship/anti-anti/pedo/map

kink/18+/ddlg

anti neopronouns, anti he/him lesbian (thags me bitch!!!) anti she/her gay and so on

fans of: harry potter, dream smp/mcyt, south park, camp camp, aot, hazbin hotel/vivziepop or anything similar to it

racist or any other kind of variant

pro cringe culture

ableist

bootlickers (elon musk defenders, cop supporters you know the drill)

under 14 or over 26

generally if u seem Off or weird lol

if ur someone who’s like “no minor interaction w me pls!! “ but then go out of your way to interact w minors, like those types of ppl

other accs

i’m too lazy to link these by hand by my insta is locksuit i should post there more...anyway byyyee 🖤

oh yea also rb my art it’s really pretty and i work very hard on it you can see it in the my art tag

[marley-manson]

hawkeye but if someone already asked him klinger pls

I'll do both!

send me a character and i’ll list:

favorite thing about them

Hawkeye:

The gay jokes honestly. I love everything about him, I mean I just wrote meta the other day about Hawkeye and death as a theme lol, but let's be real here I literally only started watching Mash for Hawkeye's gay flirting. Everything else is just an awesome bonus.

Though also to expand on that it helps that Hawkeye is literally like the exact type of character who is incredibly easy to read as bi because of it. Like, if most other character types made nonstop jokes about wanting to fuck dudes in the military in the 1950s I would actively take it as evidence that they're straight. But Hawkeye? Whose 2 major character attributes are: making jokes as a way of communicating his feelings and antagonzing the military by flaunting his non-military traits with very little concern for potential discharges? Come on.

Klinger:

How genuinely into crossdressing he gets. How much work he puts into his wardrobe, how he starts caring about fashion, becomes pro at tailoring, the scene where he talks about it with Sidney and Sidney tells him it's cool, giving Margaret his wedding dress... even later on I love that he keeps wearing the fur coat and pink housecoat even when he otherwise stops crossdressing.

There's a lot worth saying about how at the core it's a dude in a dress joke and transphobic implications of his character in general and some moments in particular, but like, for the most part the vibes with Klinger are exactly what I want when it comes to gnc characters, particularly for the time, intent schmement. It's fun as hell.

least favorite thing about them

Hawkeye:

file not found. I don’t even really wanna say the misogyny, because I consider that more a writing flaw of the early seasons that the show just ended up pinning on Hawkeye because everyone else (aside from women’s showers peeker Radar which got conveniently forgotten about) was gone by the time they went feminist.

Actually wait no I do have something: the bootlicking lol. In later seasons when the show gets more pro military sometimes, there are episodes where Hawkeye just goes along with dumb military shit and seems to try his best to fulfill his role as a captain, and I fucking hate to see it. For an example, Promotion Commotion. Or say, Morale Victory where, in contrast to earlier seasons where he was very reasonable and apologetic in not granting Klinger a discharge on the rare occasion he had the power bc it would fuck him over if he did, in this he's annoyed about Klinger just wanting a 3 day pass.

I got headcanons to explain this, I think you can argue it does make sense for Hawkeye as a character who is so dependent on his relationships with other people to lose his defiant edge when his friends are now Potter, Margaret, B “stop trying to change things you can’t change” J, and even Klinger has succumbed. But it's not a good look for the show bc my headcanons aren't canon.

Klinger:

Does Klinger even have flaws? I guess the fact that he's into commitment before sex according to Ain't Love Grand, because I would like to think he and Trapper fucked once or twice but that makes it difficult lol.

favorite line

Hawkeye:

HOW can I possibly choose one?

The carry a gun rant, I guess, it's iconic for a reason. But I'm also slightly obsessed with how impossible it is to read "You [married]?" "Somebody's gonna have to get me pregnant first," as anything but a not at all veiled come on.

Klinger:

Every time he bitches to himself in Arabic.

brOTP

Hawkeye and Margaret. I love them, I love them, I really truly love them. I love that they’re not romantically interested and not even BFFs, they have very little in common, they don’t really even like each other as people, and I don’t think they’re likely to remain close after the war, and yet despite all that they fill this really personal, emotional niche for each other where they’re each others’ go-to emotional support. It’s really interesting and unique imo.

Also I love when they get protective of each other. Margaret stepping between MP and Hawkeye in Peace on Us, Hawkeye shielding her in Aid Station, Margaret physically pulling Hawkeye out of danger in Comrades in Arms, Hawkeye distracting her with twenty questions in CAVE, etc.

Klinger:

Klinger and literally everyone except Potter, but I guess I'll go with Klinger and Hawkeye, especially in the early - mid seasons. They have this vibe of like, not quite clicking interpersonally, but still being like, allies? The way when BJ and Potter replace Henry and Trapper Hawkeye seems to turn to Klinger more often for a while (probably a result of Jamie Farr joining the main cast and the writers needing to find ways to incorporate him, but it fits really well). The way Klinger is the only one comfortable chatting with Hawkeye in the finale phone scene. Hawkeye telling Klinger to wear a slip under his uniform when he gets psychosomatic hives, "Klinger it's us, you don't have to pretend with me," Klinger having Hawkeye and Trapper's section 8 signatures on standby in the first few seasons, Klinger trading his food from home for a magazine about Maine for Hawkeye... there's just a lot of good stuff there despite Hawkeye being a dick sometimes.

OTP

Hawkeye:

I don’t feel like I have an otp for Hawkeye because I want him to fuck basically every dude he interacts with aside from Radar, including original characters, but if one ship beats out the others slightly it’s Hawkeye/Trapper. They’re not all that interesting, but they have great chemistry, they’re a ton of fun, and while Hawkeye is a character who's fun to torture, ultimately I'd still like him to live happily ever after with the kind of dude who would ride on the side of a helicopter just to pick up an order of ribs with him.

Klinger:

I don't have an otp for Klinger either, but I've got no beef with his canon romance with Soon Lee and I think it's thematically appropriate and kind of cute, especially if I'm headcanoning Klinger as some flavour of gq, which I generally am. I got on board when she said she wanted to see him in a dress.

nOTP

Hawkeye:

Hawkeye/a woman. I see him as bi but that doesn't mean I want to read about him in a relationship with a woman. Not even an ot3 thing. If I have to pick specifics, I'll go with 2: Hawkeye/Margaret, they are perfect as friends but their relationship is ruined for me the instant it turns romantic.

And Hawkeye/BJ/Peggy. My thoughts on poly irl are whatever, I've been in open relationships and had fun, I have poly friends, it's cool and great for some people. My thoughts on poly in fiction are I inevitably get angry on behalf of at least one of them, and I'm only interested if the relationship crashes and burns in an epic way. I can get into a ship having occasional threesomes, but that's about it.

Also like, I don't think it's ooc for Hawkeye at all, I just don't want it, but tbh I do think it's ooc for BJ lol, he'd be the weak link that would cause a three way divorce there. Without a novel's worth of character development I cannot imagine him being emotionally mature enough for poly.

Klinger:

I got nothin. I'm open to pretty much every Klinger ship I've seen someone mention. I guess maybe I'll say Klinger/Hawkeye, because in contrast to most dudes they interact with, and kind of ironically lol, I mostly get the vibe that he and Hawkeye have 0 interest in each other sexually.

random headcanon

Hawkeye:

The reason the gay jokes dried up so hard in the later seasons is that something happened. BJ caught Hawkeye with someone and made things awkward, they made out and made things awkward, maybe Hawkeye got investigated, whatever, but I need to invent a reason for it. Also the nice thing about the first two is it adds an interesting layer to BJ's jokes persisting.

Klinger:

Opens a dress shop back in the states eventually, which lowkey ends up a favourite of drag queens and trans women. It's what's gotta happen.

unpopular opinion

Hawkeye:

I guess at least in this era of fandom my unpopular opinion is that he and BJ would make a terrible couple. I think they're lowkey in love with each other bc it's a fun way to watch the show but I think they would be a disaster if they actually got together.

Klinger:

I view him dropping the dodge attempts as a tragedy and I hate that he gets promoted.

song i associate with them

Hawkeye: idk lol. let's say Mutiny, I Promise You - The New Pornographers

Klinger: i wracked my brain for something more original but I had to give up and go with Draft Dodger Rag - Phil Ochs

favorite picture of them

I’m changing this to like... visual moment in time. I don’t have favourite pictures.

Hawkeye:

For some reason my first instinct is to say Hawkeye coming off 30+ hours of surgery, exhausted and extremely keyed up, and walking on the furniture and juggling BJ’s socks in Ain’t Love Grand. Idk there are a million more iconic moments but that’s just quintessential Hawkeye to me.

But also as a bonus, the way he disgustedly picks up a gun between thumb and forefinger like it's a dead rat in a few episodes, like Deal Me Out iirc.

Klinger:

The statue of liberty shot at the end of Big Mac had me in tears. Iconic.

[another-rational-deception]

yo can U do headcanons for tiger, ragdoll, mt lady and ms joke dating a trans guy?

Ofccc

I find it funny that even though im a trans guy i always struggle with these asks💀 telling myself im being offensive and then remembering “wait im trans i would know”

Anywho, i realised while starting on Ms Joke that i have absolutely zero idea how to write her💀 im gonna take her out, my bad LOL

D*rk content blogs, do NOT interact with me at all.

Tiger, Ragdoll, and Mt. Lady w/ a trans man s/o

Tiger (Yawara Chotaro)

He’s probably really happy to have met you because he’s transgender aswell

Just glad to have someone who understands to share his experience with (he’s glad that the rest of the Pussycats are so supportive but they also don’t understand completely)

Understands any and all of your concerns, probably came out to you the same time you came out to him💀

If you ever wanted to get surgeries done he would absolutely recommend you to the place in Thailand where he got his surgeries done

He’s like your own personal body guard when people are being transphobic

Nobody will fuck with the guy who had a giant beefed up cat man hold his hand

Those who dare to comment get the glare™

You know the one

The rest of the Pussycats are also very kind to you, they love you

If you’re a pro hero they might ask you to join them

They probably call you Toyger (toyger is a breed of cat, it sounds like tiger so they thought it would fit)

Ragdoll (Tomoko Shiretoko)

Being as Tiger is trans as well, she doesn’t have many questions about it; she already asked him all about it when he came out all that time ago

If you’re coming out in the middle of your relationship, she makes no hesitation letting everyone know what you prefer to be called now (with your permission, of course)

She’s just filled with this childish joy, she’s so happy you trust her enough to tell her and she’s so proud of you

Doesn’t tell people about your identity if they didn’t know you before you came out, she’s one of the best people you could’ve told

Like Tiger, she definitely wants you to join the Pussycats if you’re a pro hero.

However, she’s good at keeping it a secret if that’s what you want. (Struggles a bit with not telling the Pussycats because they tell each other everything, but she does well)

Mt. Lady (Yū Takeyama)

I’m sorry but she strikes me as the type to make a shitty joke bc she’s nervous or say “no way I couldn’t even tell”

Just educate her and let her know what’s offensive, and she won’t make that mistake again.

She doesn’t see it as a big deal; she loves you and that’s that, she doesn’t see you as any less of a man knowing that you’re trans.

She may ask if you’ve gotten surgeries and if you want to or not, and she’s more than happy to help you start saving if you do want to.

Correcting people when they misgender you or use the wrong name isn’t a big deal with her. She interrupts them with your correct name and pronouns and just continues to do so until they get it right.

She knows she can’t really make a scene in public when people are being transphobic, but it’s very clear that she’s pissed when you look at her.

She’s just very chill about the whole thing. It doesn’t really bother her in the slightest, she’s just glad to have you.

[kirksfattitties]

asks you can smell the privilege and internalized ableism radiate from

(tw for ableism and other bigoted implications)

i’m bad at reading tone but even i understand that this is 100% you being condescending and trying to cover it up with smiley faces and false sincerity. and i don’t appreciate that.

before i get into deconstructing your shitty ableist argument, i want to explain the reasons i believe in self diagnosis (self-dx):

even professional diagnosis doesn’t start with a doctor diagnosing you. there has to be a reason for seeing the doctor. some people see a doctor in their adult life because they’re struggling, some people are taken by their parents, some people are referred or suggested that they see a specialist. whatever it is, you don’t just see a doctor and they magically give you a neurodivergency. people have neurodivergencies before they see doctors and even if they NEVER see a doctor.

the psychiatry system is flawed in MANY ways and to say that it isn’t means you’re denying the experiences of people with less privledge than yourself. also like psychiatry isn’t gonna suck your dick. you don’t have to be a bootlicker lol

in many places (hi hello i’m from america where our government tries to indirectly kill us by not providing us with adequate healthcare! i and many other people have many issues we can’t get fixed because simply our government cares more about the economy than us), seeing a psychiatrist or a therapist or going to a mental hospital or WHATEVER is INCREDIBLY expensive. and to assume that everyone has access and enough time/money/energy/transportation/whatever to do all of that is classist and elitist.

ANYTHING medical (including mental health) is biased towards white cis men. most studies are done on white cis men/boys. because of this, people who aren’t white cis men (or people who aren’t perceived as white cis men) are often not diagnosed. the system is racist. the system is sexist. the system is transphobic. people don’t know how to diagnose autism or adhd or personality disorders or other neurodivergencies or even mental illnesses in black people and other people of color, in women, in trans people, etc. and GOD FORBID someone be in multiple (or all) of those categories. saying “just go get diagnosed :)” is a privileged statement to make.

shocker! the psychiatry system is also ableist. if you’re already diasabled (whether it be mental or physical) and you see a doctor about ANOTHER disability? the doctor is most likely going to shoot you down. or at least be weary about someone having mutliple disabilities.

also most people who diagnose are neurotypical. they have never and will probably never experience neurodivergency so they can never fully understand it. they operate off of stereotypes of neurodivergent people and usually only stereotypical behavior of neurodivergent white cis men (which, as i mentioned before, is problematic for anyone who isn’t a white cis man). neurotypical diagnosers don’t know the neurodivergent culture and aren’t trained to recognize very common things (like masking for example).

a professional diagnosis can also be weaponized. not everyone can get a professional diagnosis because there are some neurodivergencies (such as autism and personality disorders) and mental illnesses (like depression) that can have legal and medical respercussions to have in your record. trans people can be denied medical and legal transition for being professionally diagnosed. people can lose custody battles for being professionally diagnosed. a professional diagnosis can be used as justification for taking away someone’s body autonomy (especially if that person is also physically disabled).

a LOT of neurodivergencies also have some type of symptom (or symptoms) that make it difficult to interact with people. troubles recognizing facial expressions, troubles understanding certain phrases and types of speech, paranoid about people, audio processing issues, being nonverbal in an environment that doesn’t accommodate for it, overstimulation, extreme social anxiety, discomfort in new situations, problems with eye contact, and a lot more. because like. for many nd people, interacting with people is very difficult and stressful. and hey. if you want to get a professional diagnosis? take a WILD guess what you have to do? FUCKING INTERACT with people! LIKE?? JEHDJJDKEKKDKDKDS. do you know how many professionally diagnosed nd people i know who made their appointment COMPLETELY on their own without help from a parent or family member or friend? LITERALLY ZERO! and i know A FEW nd people who have professional diagnoses! so if someone has social issues that prevent them from doing tasks like calling and making an appointment, showing up for an appointment, talking during the appointment, etc and ALSO doesn’t have familial or friend support (because newsflash! people who are friends/family of disabled people can still be ableist)? almost impossible to get a diagnosis! plus, the diagnosis process is TIME CONSUMING. not everyone can focus on a task for that long and not everyone can miss work/school for that long.

so those are the reasons i support self-dx. (although there’s probably more that i’m forgetting but i have adhd and it’s hard for me to remember things!)

so hopefully you now understand my reasons for believing in self-dx, and perhaps even you’re pro-self-dx now because before you were just uneducated on these issues and how they impact people who aren’t you.

but in case you’re still anti-self-dx and probably hate already-marginalized neurodivergent people, let’s talk about this horrendous ask (series of asks, actually) that i got sent. i feel like i can feel the self hatred and internalized ableism OOZING from this ask and into my inbox, so thanks for that i guess /s

“Sometimes people who self diagnose can take away from those who are actually nd, even sometimes from themselves.”

starting out strong with the ableism on this one by separating people into “self diagnosed” and “actually nd” people. self diagnosed people ARE actually nd

there’s not a limited number of nd resources. this isn’t a math equation of only x amount of people can be nd because there’s only y amount of resources. more people realizing they’re nd will actually MAKE more resources for nd people and will bring more awareness to being nd

even IF someone self diagnosed, and they go back on it later, what harm was done? they learned some coping mechanisms? they made some nd friends? neither of those are problematic and i think they’re both actually very helpful. i think nt people SHOULD learn more about nd people and stuff because i think that will lead to WAYYY less misunderstandings and WAYYYY less ableism

“There are many people who fake nds for attention,”

hey anon, what fucking world do you live in that nd’s are cool enough to fake having? because i would LOVE to live there. like, i literally had a post about my personality disorder (which i will not be specifying) i had to delete because people were sending my anons about how i was “scary” and “threatening” now that they knew i had the personality disorder i have. last year i left a discord server because the ableism i was recieving from not only the members of the server, but the mods as well. there are very few people i know irl who i tell about my personality disorder, but when i tell people about my adhd, they start treating me different. they infantalize me and make fun of me and use “jokes” about stereotypical adhd behaviors to alienate me and they even TELL OTHER PEOPLE without my permission. i was SEVERELY bullied throughout elementary and middle school for being nd. i have been refused job and educational opportunities as well as literal medical attention for being nd. people aren’t “faking” being nd, and if they were they probably wouldn’t be doing it for long because it’s not something that’s EASY to deal with.

kinda ironic that you’re saying people can’t diagnose themselves but that YOU can tell when someone is faking their diagnosis. that’s both hypocritical and a double standard.

masking exists. if you think someone isn’t “acting nd enough” they’re probably masking because they’ve been fucking bullied and harrassed. also you’re probably basing whatever you think nd is on stereotypes. not every nd person is sheldon cooper lol.

this is a side note but can we talk about how you’re literally just taking transmed rhetoric and molding it to fit nd people? like. you really come onto MY NONBINARY NEURODIVERGENT blog and expect me to validate your recycled “but what about the REAL [insert group] people?” ??? like grow up, elitist. you’re not better than anyone else just because you lick some boots 🥾 👅

“and claiming that self diagnosis (and this is just what I interpreted) is just as valid as professional diagnosis”

it is 😌

the only difference between self diagnosis and professional diagnosis is that a professional diagnosis can also get you medicine. not every neurodivergency needs meds and not every neurodivergency can be treated (at this time or even ever). for example, my pd (self diagnosed) doesn’t have a specific treatment but multiple symptoms of the pd (all professionally diagnosed) have specific treatments and medicines that work, so patients are given/diagnosed with/prescribed those instead. also, medicine doesn’t work for everyone! and sometimes people are allergic to or take medicines that will conflict with any new medicine.

“can really devalue the account of someone who actually has a disorder”

here we go again with that “self diagnosed” vs “actually nd” bullshit. literally just say you hate poor people n minorities and leave lol

someone having a different experience than you isn’t devaluing you, but if you’re the one who always has the spotlight maybe you should use your privledge uplift other marginalized people instead of feeling angry when everything isn’t all about you 100% of the time

“I have a second ask”

i don’t want it

“Plus it can be damaging for a person if they self diagnose wrong.”

how? what if they learn information that they wouldn’t’ve otherwise known like coping mechanisms that help them with their own neurodivergencies? that’s definitely not a bad thing

i think it’s funny that you bring up that people can self diagnose wrong and don’t even MENTION that doctors can diagnose wrong. like. you know. the people who GIVE OUT MEDICINE to people. i think it’s MUCH more dangerous when a PROFESSIONAL diagnosis is wrong. what are self-dx people with wrong diagnoses gonna do? read up on nd tips? maybe smoke some weed? drink some coffee? that’s about all they can do with a self-dx. but if a MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL gives you an INCORRECT diagnosis, they can ACTUALLY fuck you up.

“I was recently diagnosed with PTSD, a disorder which I would have never considered I’d have.”

that’s great about your professional diagnosis! i don’t know you but i’m glad you’re finding out about yourself and getting the help you want and/or need /srs

sorry if this sounds blunt, but honestly i’m not surprised you never considered you could have PTSD. based on your asks, you sound like you have a lot of internalized ableism you need to work through and a lot more research about neurodiversity you need to do. being anti-self diagnosis is a common belief among a lot of people with internalized ableism and a lot of these same people are the ones who have no issue with and even SUPPORT auti$m $peaks. many nd organizations that are run BY nd people (like asan) actually support self-dx.

“If I had of diagnosed my own symptoms and then started treating myself or taking precautions based on my self diagnosed "condition", it could of really hurt me.”

how? taking precautions to preserve your mental health is NEVER a bad idea. i’m not ptsd, but someone i care deeply about DOES have ptsd and has shared a lot of the precautions and coping mechanisms for ptsd with me and honestly they’ve been incredibly helpful. it’s almost as if different neurodivergencies and/or mental illnesses have overlap and that’s why there’s a whole community for us to be able to share these resources and information with each other!

the same person was rejected a formal autism diagnosis because of their ptsd, plus the fact that they’re transgender and the fact they have symptoms of adhd. it’s not really my place to talk about their experience with professional diagnosis, but i’ll send this post to them and allow them to add on their experience in a rb if they’re comfortable with that. but it’s almost as if their experience with the professional diagnosis process was unhelpful, harmful, ableist, and transphobic 🧐 and unfortunately this is a pretty common experience

“Also, by self diagnosing, I devalue the account of a person with the disorder l assumed I had.”

how? if someone thinks they’re nd, they have a legitimate reason for thinking so. either they have another neurodivergency than the one they thought they had, or they’re neurotypical and need to figure themself out and have a need for support. either way, they learned more about the specific neurodivergency, more about the nd community, and more about themself. i don’t see how that’s a bad thing.

if you think self-diagnosed people’s experiences inherently have less value, that is straight up ableism. especially considering that other marginalized identities and minorities have trouble getting professional diagnoses, you might also be bigoted in some other way. or at the very least, refusing to acknowledge your privilege.

“only one more I promise”

i don’t want it

“I understand that doctors are expensive and professionals can get it wrong,”

okay. if you understand this, then dm me your information so i can bill you for the cost of my professional diagnoses, the cost for my therapy sessions, the cost for my medicine, and the cost for transportation to and from all these places. PLUS the cost of the work and school i’ll be missing for these sessions. 🤲

“but self diagnosis can be really harmful to yourself or others.”

nah, you’re just ableist and a gatekeeper lol

“If you feel like you have a disorder, go see a psychiatrist, you may have it.”

[remembers when i went to a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with two major symptoms of a personality disorder and said i had other symptoms of the pd as well but refused to diagnose me with the actual personality disorder because i was a minor at the time and he told me “kids don’t have personalities so they can’t have personality disorders”. i understand being weary about diagnosing children with personality disorders because they aren’t fully developed but this dude straight up told me that i didn’t have a personality. this man literally only worked with children so that means he literally never diagnosed personality disorders. this man was literally just lazy and didn’t care about his patients. this man also refused to believe me when i told him the medicine he prescribed me made my symptoms worse and even made me hallucinate. he ignored me and refused to change my medicine so eventually i just changed psychiatrists and they put me on a new medicine that DIDNT make my symptoms worse and DIDNT make me hallucinate. also i looked it up after our session and apparently ONLY people with my pd and related ones experience hallucinations on that certain medication. it’s almost like his refusal to diagnose me and ignoring my symptoms/concerns harmed me. this man also constantly misgendered me and told me that homosexuality and transgenderism should’ve still been in the dsm. like golly, it’s almost as if being queer and neurodivergent in an extremely conservative state is harmful and dangerous. and that psychiatrists aren’t immune from being homophobic and transphobic and ableist.] but yes :) perhaps i should see another psychiatrist in this conservative state :)

“I don't want to undermine anyone's actual experiences, but it can be dangerous.”

then stop undermining people’s actual experiences :)

no ❤️

“If you feel like something's wrong, go see a professional.”

the whole point of the neurodiversity movement is that there IS no such thing as a “normal” brain, so saying that neurodivergent people have something “wrong” with them is ableist.

💰 🤲 hand it over

“I don't want to offend, I just don't want anyone to get mislead or hurt. :)”

you absolutely meant to offend. you literally said that self-diagnosed people’s experiences aren’t valid and have less value than people who have professional diagnoses

i know more people who have been (and personally have been) mislead and hurt by professionals than by simply existing as a self-diagnosed person

also i want to say that being pro-self dx is NOT being anti-professional/formal diagnosis. i think that people should absolutely get a professional diagnosis (if they are able to without negative repercussions)! being pro-self dx is more inclusive of marginalized people (like people of color, women, lgbtq+ people, people with multiple disabilities, etc). pro-self dx is simply just saying that professional diagnosis isn’t the only option

(neurotypical people and anti-self dx people don’t add anything; pro-self dx neurodivergent people are allowed to add with their experiences if they want)

[womenofcolor15]

‘Sex and the City’ Is Back For A Reboot - Without Samantha! Here's What SJP Has To Say About Their Beef & Why Folks Are Demanding Diversity

“Sex and the City” is getting the reboot treatment (that some are wondering if we really even need). And one character – Samantha (played by Kim Cattrall) – is notably missing. Lead star Sarah Jessica Parker addresses her former co-star’s absence in the upcoming rival. Find out what she said inside….

Yep. You heard right. One of the biggest television series is making a comeback!

”Sex and the City” is getting the reboot treatment, following the show’s initial run (that wrapped up in 2004) and two movies (2008 & 2010). The 2nd film didn’t do great at the box office, but that’s not stopping a revival of the hit television series.

The reboot of the hit series will return as a limited series titled, “And Just Like That…”

According to THR, the 10-episode, half-hour show will debut on HBO Max. It’ll follow the original ladies Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker), Miranda (Cynthia Nixon), and Charlotte (Kristin Davis) navigating life in their 50s. Lord. Charlotte & Miranda will be parents to teen boys, while Carrie should be living in marital bliss with her husband Mr. Big. However, we wouldn't be surprised if they got a divorce in the reboot.

However, Samantha (Kim Cattrall) is NOT involved with the project. No surprise there. In the past, Kim said SJP is a MEAN girl and that she would never work with her again. All of that tea was spilled when SJP reached out to Kim in 2018 following the death of Kim’s brother.

        View this post on Instagram

                      A post shared by Kim Cattrall (@kimcattrall)

  ”My Mom asked me today 'When will that @sarahjessicaparker, that hypocrite, leave you alone?' Your continuous reaching out is a painful reminder of how cruel you really were then and now," Kim wrote in an Instagram post in 2018. "Let me make this VERY clear. (If I haven’t already) You are not my family. You are not my friend. So I’m writing to tell you one last time to stop exploiting our tragedy in order to restore your ‘nice girl’ persona."

After she unleashed that lashing on SJP, fans KNEW a "SATC" reunion including Samantha never happening.

Despite Kim’s absence, the reboot is still happening:

Sarah, Cynthia and Kristin all posted the same “SATC” reboot promo on their social media accounts:

        View this post on Instagram

                      A post shared by SJP (@sarahjessicaparker)

  In the comments, fans questioned SJP about Kim’s absence and she responded:

"Happy to see you back but will miss Kim/Samantha," one commenter wrote, to which SJP replied, "We will too. We loved her so. X."

”OMG it’s happening. Something is happening. Imma miss Samantha but I’ll take anything right now,” another commenter wrote.

”She will always be there. And we are so excited. X,” SLP responded.

In another response, she addressed the rumors that she doesn't like Kim.

"No. I don't dislike her. I've never said that. Never would," SJP wrote. "Samantha isn't part of this story, but she will always be part of us. No matter where we are or what we do. X."

SJP kept her responses classy and drama-free, which is good because Kim seems like the type that would respond.

“SATC” series creator Darren Star will not be returning as well. Director Michael Patrick King — who won an Emmy for his work directing on the original series — will serve as the reboot’s Executive Producer. Production will kick off in NYC later this year.

Now, the big question is will they DIVERSIFY the reboot? Inclusion has been a huge issue for “Sex and the City,” especially since the show is set in New York City, which is one of the most racially and economically diverse cities in the world. “SATC” hardly had any diversity other than Charlotte’s adopted daughter Lily and Jennifer Hudson when she starred in the first movie as Carrie’s assistant from St. Louis. "My very own Louis Vuitton?!" Chile....

Folks have been sounding off on Twitter about adding some diversity to the cast for the reboot:

why are they doing a sex and the city reboot without Samantha when they could just do a more diverse (non biphobic & transphobic LOL) version of the series with a new cast ? Sex and the City is one of the few shows that SHOULD be redone better

— Shannon (@vsillyanddumb) January 11, 2021

You know I loved sex and the city just as much as any other gay but like can we leave these senior citizens in the 90s/2000s. It’s time for a reboot with a diverse cast.

— Femme Cholo (@mrjld20) January 11, 2021

I won’t be watching the ‘Sex and the City’ reboot unless the casting is much more diverse, they eliminate the stereotypical depiction of gay characters, and present transsexuals with respect and love instead of mocking them and making them targets of jokes. Do better this time.

— Mike Sington (@MikeSington) January 11, 2021

People often forget that Sex and the City 2 was one of the most anti-Arab and islamophobic movies made in recent years so I hope the writer's room of the new series has far more diverse voices this time around. At the very least!

— Hanna Ines Flint (@HannaFlint) January 11, 2021

petition for @hbomax to recreate Sex and the City with a diverse set of main characters instead of the same three white women we’ve seen too many times

— pinksweet (@pinksweet) January 11, 2021

Also, “SATC” fans are NOT here for the reboot without man-eater Samantha!

We have a feeling the reboot will probably be more diverse for the limited series, and not just when it comes to race. Class diversity may be present as well. If it doesn’t, we’re sure cancel culture will kick into overdrive!

Could Samantha be re-cast? Will they add a new friend to the circle? Will she (or he) be of color? We’ll just have to wait and see. Are YOU here for the reboot?

Photo: vipflash/Shutterstock.com

[Read More ...] source http://theybf.com/2021/01/11/%E2%80%98sex-and-the-city%E2%80%99-is-back-for-a-reboot-without-samantha-but-will-it-be-an-all-white-nyc-

[cisph0bia]

Hey, sorry if this is out of line, but im writing a comic and I have a character who's muslim and nonbinary. Is there anything I should avoid when writing them? Sorry again if I'm being annoying.

im prolly not the best when it comes to giving advice but im glad ur asking someone whos actually nb and muslim lol sorry if my reply is all over the place... 

first off u should treat their religion and gender as just another aspect of themself rather than like... a defining aspect?? like its not ur place to go deep into islamophobia or transphobia just because, like make em have a bunch of different qualities and traits as u would with any other character.  being muslim or nonbinary  isnt always super obvious, like really any person u see can be either and u wouldnt know so dont try to constantly point it out

things to avoid? the obvious stereotypes first and foremost like dont make any terrorism/isis/b0mb jokes like theyre not funny and you shouldnt mention these things at all. dont make it as if the character is "deceiving" you with their gender or give some sort of "sex reveal" or whatever. those r always gross. u should probably look up the stereotypes of both, bc obvious i cant cover them all. google is free and so is tumblr (writingwithcolor and lgbtqwritingprompts are just a few blogs i know)

muslims arent always some overly religious, in your face, holier than you types which is something i see i lot when people writint any non christian characters? its weird and annoying ALSO you dont have to make ur character follow stuff to a T like... ik dressing modestly and wearing a hijab is important, but u looot of muslims dont follow that stuff completely and its cool. i wear tight shit in public when i feel like it, and show skin to my friends bc im just like that.... i know a lot of muslims who dont wear hijabs! its up to u for what they wear but i just wanted to point that out

and nonbinary obviously doesnt always mean androgynous. u can make them as feminine or as masculine or anything else,  bc nb ppl express themselves in a lot of ways. makeup, clothes, whatever. i wear a hijab despite the fact that ppl think its for women. u can pretty much go wild as long u dont delve into any transphobic shit that make us look more like caricatures (like putting emphasis on their body). and despite how they look, you can use whatever pronouns you want, even if they/them makes it more obvious that theyre nonbinary to some. and theres no problem with the character coming out in the story, as long as its respectful!

small things like mentioning ramadan/fasting, the character going "oh i gotta pray bruh brb", even them just declining a slice of pepperoni pizza or some beer at a party are cool i like it when muslims characters r like that. a dumb but real interaction is them eating smth with gelatin and some1 pointing it out to them and they could react in a like a ton of different ways (digusted, or just dont care) but when its me im like "WHO said it was PIG gelatin....it could be cow.......or fish..........u dont know -_-" and i keep eating it and my friends laugh. its the little things that are fun to me

i feel like im totally missing stuff bc this became more of me rambling instead of a list of thimgs to avoid and im so sorry bc u seem nice and deserve a better answer but like......im dumb......... i hope this helps, and if it doesnt and you have more questions feel free to come to me again! if anyone wants to reblog or reply with some things i missed, please do so!! and when youre finished with your comic ur legally required to show me it bc i would love to see a character like myself

[tumblunni]

Also mannn this is making me remember the old oc i made out of spite for Excellus being a horrible transphobic stereotype in Fire Emblem Awakening. Like "man why do they keep insulting this horrid lil gremlin on his gender non-conforming behaviour and not on the million people he killed?" You know you fucked up when you make me feel sympathy for a dude i absolutely hate! Seriously i couldnt bring myself to even be angry when he killed a protahonist's brother, after hours of really deep-cutting transphobic shit from the heroes i kinda felt like Excellus was justified in stabbing somebody...

So yeh because of that i had the idea that wow that plot could be really effective at making a character sympathetic! What if we had a villain who was transgender but instead of that being something 'scary' about them, its the proof that she's not really evil, and the reason we need to save her? What if she's trapped within an abusive situation from the other members of the villain team, and they're the ones being transphobic while the actual heroes actually act fuckin heroic? What if by switching sides she finds a new home where she can be herself?

And then i kinda developed it quite a lot and designed this cool older lady named Chiffon who had a fancy jewelry-style prosthetic gauntlet for a disabled arm. Like those special rings i saw advertized once that help hold finger joints in a splint for people who have that condition that weakens the tendons? I wish i could remember the name of the disability so i could find that post again. Anyway i thought it would be cool to design a strange magical robot arm based on that aesthetic and then i coukd be like 'hey its based on a real treatment for this different disability!' and then point people at the link IF ONLY I COULD FIND THE LINK AGAAAAAINNN

And her personalitu was TOTES gonna be the science nyeeheehee sass grump person!! But not actually a scientist, instead an alchemist because fantasy! And she would be a badass soldier with elegant fencing style and plant magic that summons roses and stuff. Cos i also wanted to take the opportunitu to play with all the cliches of queer coding in villains, and the 'rose man' is a weirdly common archetype of 'lol please be disgusted because gay but also he is not gay' type nonsense. So yeah here have a proud elderly trans woman in the same role, and also no negative jokes this time. Or ever. Ever again.

And then i was thinking about how she would have ended up working for villains in the first place, and i got tjis really sad story idea where she's in an abusive relationship with her boss. Like she sees him as the first person who ever showed her kindness and keeps excusing whenever he hurts her because he rescued her way back then. And he keeps thier relationship a secret and treats her like shit in public but then tries to pretend like it never happened. And he keeps invalidating her and its clear he sees her as a man and only thinks 'ha if i keep humouring this deluded freak then i'll have a mindlessly obedient attack dog'. And she even overhears him talking about how disgusted he is when he has to fake affection to her in order to get what he wants. But she still keeps going back to him because she feels like she has nowhere else to go. And the heroes would be able to save her by showing her what genuine acceptance really is, and that there is indeed hope of a better life! She's not dependant on this fuck because he's 'the best you'll ever get' and 'the only one who'll ever love you'!

And then big ol hugs and climactic destruction of abuse boyfriend dude and lots of relateable trans experiences and joyful affirmation of your true self! And i hadnt thougjt of a good idea for them yet, but i did wanna have her find an actual genuine lover who would love her for who she is. Like.. 'you can be happy without love' is a perfectly fine moral for other situations, but when her whole plot revolves around an abuser telling her she's unloveable it would indeed be the best possible ending if she has a happy marriage. And also possibly adopts the protagonist and everythibg is joy forever!

So yeh anyway lol that was an idea i had once. But i actually wasnt sure of any story to put her in, lol! I keep bringing her back whenever i invent a new story, but my latest one already has three trans women and one science grump gramp so she might be overshadowed by similar plots?

[purplesurveys]

1050

survey by chihuahua

1~ What quality do you value most highly in others? Loyalty. Those who can stick with me through the highs, lows, and all the boring stuff. I appreciate low-maintenance friendships.

2~ Are you more aggressive or mellow? Um idk, it depends on the situation I guess. I have a non-confrontational side, but at the same time I’m also quite vocal over issues I’m passionate about. Just last weekend I made the lunch table at a family reunion awkward because Jake Zyrus suddenly became the topic of conversation; I could feel the wave of transphobic comments about to come from the oldies, so I made sure I was one step ahead of the Gen X-ers and Boomers and saying that transphobia isn’t going to fly by at the table, so they shouldn’t even try. That’s the most recent instance I remember having to get aggressive.

3~ Who has made the biggest sacrifice for you? My parents. Dad has mostly worked abroad and I never got to see him for longer than a month all my life until Covid hit and he was forced to stay here. Mom has worked thousands of overtime shifts and was always on changing shifts throughout my childhood.

4~ Do you take any vitamins or medication? No. We have a constant supply of Vitamin C tablets for the family, but I stopped taking it regularly since like May because pure laziness. I don’t take any medication.

5~ Do you want to grow old with someone? I wish this was my reality, yes.

6~ Do you treat others better or worse than yourself and why? Better. I’m still working on liking/loving myself.

7~ What sound is annoying you right now? Nothing comes to mind right now, but an hour ago we were having our virtual company Christmas party and since there were nearly 60 people in the Google Meet and I also still had some deliverables I needed to finish, my laptop couldn’t take it and started whirring its fan. That was a little annoying.

8~ Where was your last vacation to? Hasn’t changed. It was still Tagaytay and Cavite. As much as I’d like to take a vacation somewhere, I think all places require you to take a swab test and that’s a big pass for me. Nothing’s going in my nostrils and down my throat or however far down it goes.

9~ Where was your last car ride to? Aside from back home, I was headed to Feliz. After that I also stopped by the local Starbucks to try and redeem a planner for my mom, but they don’t have the variation that she wants :(

10~ Where did you last walk to? To the kitchen to make myself a cup of coffee.

11~ What gives you a peaceful feeling? Evening drives. I don’t care how bad the traffic is; there’s just something about driving at night that makes me feel very much at peace. It was better when I had the person I love with me; but driving alone isn’t bad too.

12~ Are you a light sleeper? No. I’m very likely to sleep through earthquakes.

13~ When you sleep next to someone who usually falls asleep first? They do. I’m always the last one to fall asleep, no matter who it is I’m next to.

14~ How many people have a piece of your heart? Kinda corny question, but one, I guess. It’s ridiculous that they still do, but I can’t help it.

15~ What do your salt and pepper shakers look like? Nothing too fancy in this home lol. We have a plain tub containing our salt. I don’t actually know what our pepper container/shaker looks like; we may just have the McCormick variant of pepper.

16~ When was the last time you hurt yourself? On purpose or accidentally? Hahahaha uhm I cut my finger trying to open a bottle of soju last week, and it bled pretty bad.

17~ Would you rather live in the city, suburbs or the country? Right now, I’d love a city environment. I’ve lived far too long in quiet suburban neighborhoods and a change in scenery would be nice. I hope I don’t end up feeling too lonely in the city, though.

18~ Have you ever built something? Other than Lego towers I made as a kid, I was never the building type. I’d rather have all my items in complete form when I get them.

19~ Are you more of a maker and giver, or a taker and user? I’m more a giver than any of these other labels. I feel happy from making people happy and comfortable.

20~ Do you take naps? I love naps but I avoid them now. I have very little free time these days as I’m always swamped with work even during holidays and weekends, so when I do have little bits of spare time I want to spend them awake and doing something productive and catching up on my hobbies. I think this’ll be my new normal now :(

21~ Do you buy holiday gifts early or at the last minute? Early for the people I love most. For everyone else I do it kinda late-ish, heh.

22~ Do you laugh when there is no joke and dance when there is no music? I do the laughing thing occasionally, but I only dance if there’s music.

23~ If someone else were to describe you what would you hope they would say? That they recognize the things I do for other people. I know it’s best to do things because you want to and not to be recognized and I stand by that myself, but I just want the reassurance that I’m seen. At least just once. 

24~ What is the dirtiest habit you can think of? Biting one’s toenails, trying your own earwax, or not changing your underwear for several days.

25~ Do you ever need 'quiet time'? For sure; I think all of us do.

26~ Do you think it is harder for a parent to outlive their child or for th Survey-maker didn’t get to finish this question, but the first scenario sounds painful enough. I can’t even begin to imagine the hurt a parent would feel if they had to go to the wake of their own kid.

27~ What was your best find from a flea market, garage sale, ebay or thrift? A copy of WWE Encyclopedia that was like 1/3 or 1/4 its original price. I remember not having a lot of savings left from that week but I still went ahead and bought the book because it was such a crazy good deal.

28~ What is one selfish thing you tend to do? I am not at all the poster child of selfishness... I’ve never felt comfortable doing things for myself. Everything’s always been for other people, and I rarely leave room for me, if at all. The most selfish thing I do is that I hate sharing my food, but even then I still share my favorites with the people I love.

29~ What kinds of people do you find intimidating? I try not to get intimidated by anyone because we all just go through the same shit at the end of the day, so idk. People in higher positions can sometimes be scary, but I’m not as intimidated by them as I used to be.

30~ Out of everyone you know who has the most unique personality? Maybe Andrew/Andi? They can fit in any crowd and can make a conversation last with absolutely anyone, which I find unique as not everyone’s able to do so.

31~ When do you do your best thinking? I always have to be able to think on my feet for work. Public relations is a pretty hectic landscape and communications is super crucial in it.

32~ What was a choice that you didn't want to make but you had to? The breakup. All that wasted time and effort make me nauseous.

33~ Have you ever written a letter to a soldier? No.

34~ What does your favorite coffee mug look like? This question is e v e r y w h e r e. It’s a copper Starbucks mug.

35~ What age do you think it is most difficult to be? I don’t think it’s fair to compare. Everyone goes through their own set of struggles no matter what age they are.

36~ Do you think you could handle a day in jail? Not the ones here.

37~ Who is the most overbearing person you know? My mom can definitely be one.

38~ Have you ever been on a trampoline? Yes :) Rita has one in her house and it was a lot of fun jumping on it. It was a huge one too; 7 or 8 of us were playing on the trampoline at one point.

39~ What do you use batteries for the most often? I haven’t had to use those in a while. I guess remote controls? Even though I barely touch those anymore.

40~ Would you prefer to wrap your own presents or have them all gift wrapped? I don’t how to wrap presents, so I asked my sister to do it for me in exchange for money hahahahaha. That might be my new Christmas practice from here on out.

[isa-ly]

“I HATE MY LIFE, LMAO”

TW: mental illness, therapy, self-hatred, self-deprecation

Let's start this one off with a text I received a few months ago from a friend, who I hadn't seen or spoken to in a while:

For anyone who isn't fluent in German, it reads as follows: "I'm hip and have a Twitter too now, as you probably noticed. Your own Twitter doesn't sound like you're too doing well. Can I help in any way?"

At first, I was like: "Huh? What does she mean?"

But, well...

Alright, I see her point.

And that's what I'm here to talk about today: Tweeting and joking your sorrows away (and why it's so hard to stop doing it). Before we get into it, however, I want to drop one last screenshot, because it just fits this current situation oh too well, and the irony made me giggle:

Okay, enough social media plugging, let's get back to business.

As you can see, I am quite active when it comes to tweeting about my struggles with mental illness. Which, in this day and age, really isn't a rarity. You just need to take one look at Twitter, Instagram, Reddit, TikTok or any dank meme, to see that joking, down-playing and iRoniCalLy tAkiNg tHe piSs out of personal problems and issues, has become quite the trend for millennials in general. Once again, I'm not the only one guilty of doing that.

Had you asked me a year ago whether or not I thought that constantly ridiculing very serious and traumatic incidents in my life was maybe a bit worrisome, I would have probably gotten very defensive and told you that "it's called coping, okay?” Because hey, making jokes and laughing about the bad things in your life gives them less power over you and helps distract from the pain. And that's good, right? That's what you're supposed to do. Right?

Well.

Dealing with your own issues, whether that's big or small ones, is a very personal process that, quite frankly, no one really gets to have a say in except for you. And yeah, sure, as we all learned by watching Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, ridiculing and laughing about something that really scares you, loosens the hold said fear has on you and makes it easier to deal with. However, there is a very big difference between the boggards of life (if you don’t get that reference, you clearly weren’t around when J.K. Rowling wasn’t problematic and transphobic yet) and medical mental health issues and disorders.

I am no doctor, I am aware of that, but even I know that having an ironic laugh about a shitty day is something very different to basically verbally abusing yourself and trying to make your own depression or anxiety relatable to ... well, to whom, actually? Random people on the internet? That are never going to really care or react to your self-deprecating jokes? That doesn’t seem like it’ll do much now, does it.

And that’s kind of the whole point, if you’re really honest with yourself. Social media has made it oh too easy to simply shout those invasive, painful and scary thoughts and feelings out into a void before they eat you alive. The thing about a void is, though: You're still alone in it. It doesn't answer you back. It's empty. And it will make you feel that exact emptiness inside you, too. It poses no comfort, it doesn't offer advice, it doesn't give you a hug, a shoulder to cry on or anything, really. It may swallow your word vomit whenever it bubbles out of you, but it will still leave you feeling drained and hollow because there's nothing you get from it in return.

Twitter, Instagram and every other easy-to-access-and-rant-on social media platform lets you dump your initial hurt all over it, but it doesn't lessen the pain. And neither do the self-deprecating jokes and dank depression memes.

I’ll say this once again, for the people in the back (me, I’m talking about myself here, I am the people in the back): Being mentally ill isn't a quirky personality trait, and making a lifestyle and constant comedy show out of is never, ever going to solve your problems and make you feel any better. You'll still be miserable if you don't actually work on solving your issues because you're too busy letting them define you.

Depression is not an aesthetic. Anxiety is not a competition. Panic attacks aren't funny memes.

I'm not saying that you can't and shouldn't joke or laugh about your own problems. Humor can be a very cathartic thing, I'm the living example of it. But staying put in your depression, anxiety or whatever issues you're dealing with, and trying to make a comedy skit out of it every time someone asks you how you are, is only going to make you more comfortable and validated in your own misery. And there are way better places to be comfortable in than that. Trust me.

You are not your mental illness. You are not your disorder. Those things will never define who you are. They're a part of you, yes, but they aren't you. You will always be the one that calls the shots and you always, always have choice and hope on your side. Even when it feels like you are alone and being swallowed whole by the darkness, it is never too early or late to get help. It might feel insincere, it might feel terrifying and impossible. But it never is. That's exactly what your disorders and problems want you to think. But they are wrong.

I had to accept that too. I had to accept that, once again, I wasn't as special of a snowflake as my mental illness painted me to be. By doing that, it simply did what any mental illness does best: it isolated me even more. With every joke, every #relatable tweet, every "lol" behind yet another truly worrisome sentence, I sunk back further and further into the cocoon of loneliness. And, plot twist, you can't finger-gun your way out of depression. Sorry, babes.

So, every time you’re about to chuck out another "I wanna die lmao" in a casual conversation with friends or yet another self-deprecating tweet, just take a second to ask yourself: Is this really a way of coping? Is it really making me feel better? Or is it actually a subconscious, desperate attempt of getting someone, anyone, to see that I'm slowly breaking on the inside?

Again, I don't want this to come across as a self-help guide on how to battle your mental illness. Not at all. If anything, the reason I phrase this blog and all my entries the way I do, is because it's what I need to keep telling myself, every time I revert back to old habits. It's a reminder. For me and, in case you want it to be, for you too. I'm not here to lecture anyone. Well, maybe myself, a little. But everyone makes their own choices and I'm no one's guide or saviour, nor do I want to be. However, I made a promise to myself to really commit to this blog thing, so here I am. I'm my own harshest critic, always have been, so if anything, this is a call out post for my own self-deprecating habits.

Receiving that message from my friend made me realize that even though I would have never admitted it to myself at the time, all those tweets and casually dropped “I’m gonna kms haha lol”s were nothing but very badly disguised cries for help. I was just too much of a coward to admit that to myself. Okay, maybe coward is a bit of a harsh word. I don’t want to diminish my fear or vulnerability just because I know the reason for it now. It’s just that looking back at my own denial, and still sometimes catching myself in moments where I slip back into this behaviour, makes me want to grab myself by the shoulders and shake me until I snap out of it.

Which is why I’m just going to do this through my blog now – for past, present and also future me: Get it together. Stop yourself in your own tracks when you’re about to word-vomit up another cryptic tweet or self-deprecating joke. Instead, talk to a friend. Type up a text. Call someone. Schedule a therapy session. It's always gonna help, way better than forcing out a laugh about something that is in no way a laughable matter. Reaching out is not going to fix everything immediately, but in the long run it will. And that's what we're in for, after all.

You can ask any of my friends and they will tell you that whenever they express feelings of insecurity about sharing their worries to me, I will be quick to stop them in the middle of their sentence to tell them that they can, and always should, talk to me. About any- and everything, be that day or night. It is something that I have been preaching for God knows how long, and I genuinely mean it, too. So, I’ve kind of just been a huge hypocrite by never listening to my own advice. And I knew that. Deep down, I always knew that I was ignoring the exact thing I kept telling the people I loved to do too. And what can I say, I hate being a hypocrite.

I’m not saying that any of this is easy. Hell, it can be the hardest God damn thing ever, especially when you’re as emotionally repressed and inept as I am most of the time. And yes, venting and shit-posting about how much you’ve been crying all day or how much you “hate your own life” might work as a quick fix to let off some of that frustration steam. But it’s never going to actually repair the underlying issues that cause you to feel this shitty in the first place. The only thing that’s gonna do that, is actually talking to people. Whether that is family, friends or a therapist, doesn’t matter. Because other than an Instagram story that disappears after 24 hours, or a tweet that has a 280-character limit, real life people who care about you will actually take the time to listen, say something in return, and provide the comfort and open ear no social media platform or meme ever could. You know that. And I know that too. 

So, I want to try and quit lmao-ing my way through life and instead do what I actually, secretly know I am trying to do anyway with all those self-deprecating attempts at morbid comedy: ask for help. No lol’s needed.

[eevachu]

There once was a girl called kate/most think she’s very great/some people are wrong/They’ve been bad for very long/for their standards no person can abate

EDIT: The person who sent this came forward and clarified that this ask was meant to poke fun at anti-Kate trolls, not Kate fans. I misinterpreted it and flew wildly off the rails (as I am oft want to do lol). The person who sent this couldn’t have known the depths to which I have grieved over this issue as of late, so do not fault them for it. They wanted to send me a joke and I took it the wrong way (ah the similarities here to Kate’s comedy). 

I appreciate someone trying to make me laugh. I don’t really appreciate further spreading this drama, but people are entitled to their opinions, so they are also entitled to the consequences of those opinions. I will say, however, I don’t really like comedy that punches down (accidentally or not), because I think many of the people, who, wrongfully justified and misinformed about her or not, are doing it out of a genuine desire to help trans people. I think the puritanical environment that spaces like tumblr create for this type of discussion creates a toxic mindset that looks ridiculous compared to a properly moderated formal debate environment.

I’m keeping the full version under the cut, because they are things that should be said and I am so very tired of seeing people drag her name through the mud based on hearsay. You may use the examples I’ve provided to draw your own conclusions on the matter, as I have drawn mine. I’ve included some footnotes and clarifications. Skip down to the bolded paragraph above the video to avoid the majority of my emotional outburst.

Thank you for sending needless and harmful negativity into my inbox, I really wish you had instead put your time towards a positive goal like volunteering at an animal shelter, working to raise awareness over the plight of indigenous people in Canada or even just telling someone their hair looks nice today. (The thank you was sarcastic, in case that wasn’t clear.) Or hey, maybe you could have just said, “I know you love Kate, but here’s some problematic things she’s done you should be aware of.” Not write a patronizing little ditty. Catch more flies with honey than with open condescension and all that?

Since you seem like one of those sick people that get off to seeing people feel bad and subscribe to tumblr’s toxic black and white morality and witch hunt culture, here is what you accomplished with this ask:

You’ve made me upset, and I’m sure that was your goal. Congrats. I am an adult woman of 25 and I am crying now because of how upset this made me. This is nothing special, I am weepy person, so don’t pat yourself on the back. I tend to care too much and feel too freely; but anon, did you want me to cry? Because here you are. I am crying. Trembling a little too. You getting your rocks off to this? Happy to be of service then.

My being upset has triggered my anxiety over the issue of my admiration of Kate as an openly lesbian comedian versus the occasional problematic content of her comedy. I think about it a lot, because I am a critical person. The anxiety is going to affect me for several days. Right now I’m nauseous. I will now sleep poorly because of it. I will get less work done because of it. I will be in a foul mood for a week, which affects the people around me. I may self-medicate with alcohol or take what I like to call “a gravol nap”. I will lose money because of lost productivity. So you’ve lost me money anon, I’m sure you enjoy that. What is it about suffering that gives you your jollies, anon?

I work freelance, and you’ve interrupted my work day, because I cannot let this stew, so I have to take time out of my day to write out my thoughts as a reply you probably won’t see and take other measures for my own well-being. This really isn’t for you anon, this has been stewing in me for months and this is the last straw.

So here under the cut are my full thoughts on Kate Mc /.Kinnon Berth/ old, they will be rambly as, hey look, I’m dissociating a little (how fun):

Did you know from 2007-2010* Kate played a problematic character called Fitzwillia m that portrayed a dmab character that wanted a vagina? I’m sure you did. Anon, have you actually watched the Fitzwillia m skits? Here’s a link to all of them:

Watched them? Opinions? I want your real opinions on them, not just what the witch-hunters have told you to think. You’re probably a smart person, you can make up your own mind.

They’re in poor taste certainly, but a lot of comedy is. I think in the grand scheme of life, in the grand scheme of all human suffering and portrayals of queer characters, Fitzwillia m isn’t the worst. Certainly not great and certainly transmisogynistic, but like… watch a lot of TV from this time, this is practically progressive.

Is Kate maybe attached to this character because so many people loved them, approved of this character, and brought this character back for 3 seasons? That sometimes you do bad things because you don’t know they’re bad or that you do, but damn if you don’t need the money? That sometimes you’re ill-informed about something? That to create a character is to send part of yourself out into the world, and you always will love them even when you shouldn’t? That she hasn’t addressed it because to do so would be a PR nightmare for her publicist? That she likely doesn’t know this is even an issue because she’s not on social media? Probably. I’ve made some terrible characters, who did much worse things, who I am lucky to let die on paper stuffed in a folder where no one can see them. She was 22* when she made this character, in a completely different cultural climate than in 2017. Does it make it right that a whole team of people approved this character out into the world? Not to me. However, I don’t have the right to decide anything about the trans-related nature of Fitzwillia m as a cis person, but context is always important to me.When I was looking for a compilation video, I found trans people who genuinely enjoyed this character. I know I love some absolutely problematic gay characters.

Let’s put this into MY context anon, 2010 is when I met my first ever trans person. Ever. I was 18 and in college. I think it took me like… 2 years to figure out what trans actually was in a healthy way that wasn’t tainted by my culturally ingrained transphobia. I didn’t know dick all about social justice or politics or the queer community. I thought I was maybe bisexual. I thought I knew everything. By coincidence, I’m actually going through my blog today and clearing out posts from that time because they’re terrible, because I was terrible. I’ve changed so much from then, I don’t even recognize this person on this very blog. I’m not famous and those words are entirely mine, so I lose nothing by saying I’m wrong for what I said. Kate could lose jobs and colleagues and friends for addressing her past in a similar manner. She worked collaboratively on those works and people will take offence at her backtracking. It’s all very damned if you do, damned if you don’t. Is it right? Probably not, but it’s understandable. She works for Saturday Night Live, a place where they are constantly making things like:

That was made in 2015 and this is very mild. In 2015, I had a more senior coworker make a joke about how a couple we could see in the building across from us were “swapping their gay AIDs blood.” I think that’s a much worse “joke” than anything on SNL. I didn’t tell HR because I was afraid to lose my job, as shitty as it was. She wasn’t exactly in a position of power when these things were made, and she isn’t really in a place to speak out against them now. She’s just now hitting her stride. If I can’t stand up in my own workplace, I can’t fault her for not standing up in hers.

Did she joke about never seeing a penis in an interview? Yes. Did I make the same type of jokes until someone came along to tell me what was wrong with it in a nice way? YEP.**

Does she even know it’s an issue is another thing. She doesn’t use social media, certainly not tumblr. I learned basically all I know about the queer community from tumblr. I have no idea where I’d be without it; probably still making transphobic gold star lesbian jokes.

Anon, I’ve read her receipts. I always do. I know what I’m doing by supporting her is a bit problematic, but so are most of the things I do in my life. I eat meat from factory farms. I have a pedigree dog. I live on unceded First Nation’s land. I benefit from systematic racism. I don’t know what the hell my mutual funds are actually invested in. I’ve made rape jokes and said r*tarded. I was a schoolyard bully redirecting my anger onto other because of my home life. I’ve ruined people’s lives by things I’ve said. I have been a truly godawful person.

Here’s why I still love Kate, if always cautiously and never uncritically: from 2014-2015, I had a mental breakdown, until 2016 I lived in this sort of haze. I remember wanting to die a lot. I remember staring at the subway tracks and thinking, “what if I just jumped?” Do you know what that’s like anon? To constantly want to die? To be in a dead end job, to feel like you’re absolutely worthless? To have a pet die and just think “I deserve this suffering, I’m a failure”?

And then I saw her as Jillian Holtzmann and just… something changed. Something truly changed in my life. She helped me figure out I was a lesbian. She helped me see that out lesbian women could succeed. She got me through that 2016 election where I lost all hope again.

Did she actually do anything? I mean, not really. But she represented something to me and to watch people tear her down is to watch a part of myself be torn down with her. 

Why do I still love Kate, even if only as an idea, not an actual person? Because her saving my life outweighs the blights in her career. Because I give people the benefit of the doubt that they don’t mean harm, because they aren’t aware of the underlying social issues they are dealing with. Because I do not minimize the harmful way that ra// dical fe /.minists are recruiting young lesbians into the T /.ERF community by calling anyone who creates transphobic/transmisogynistic content TE /.RFs. Because I do not idolize, I admire. Because her job is to make people laugh and I truly don’t think she wants to hurt anyone by doing so. Because people are complicated and good intentioned people can do bad things. Because I want to believe she’s a good person under everything.

Because I am willing to forgive other people for things I have done myself if they seem the sort to be open to learning.

If all else is still unforgivable to you anon, I leave you with this: there’s a part in the movie Julie & Julia, where the main character Julie finds out that the Julia Child, this woman she has idolized and who’s cookbook inspired her to change her life, doesn’t like her work. She is devastated. And her husband says that there’s two Julia’s: the real one, and the one in Julie’s head, who she sees as her savior. The Julia Child in her head is the one that really matters.

Let me have the Kate in my head.

In conclusion: anon, I wish you all the best, just very very far away from me.

Notes:

* I was wrong about the original dates that this aired, BGSS aired from 2007-2010, not 2008-2010, which means season 1 was likely shot in 2006 with Kate was 22-23 when she created Fitzwilli am. I was pretty stupid at 22.

** I am actually really angry about being misled by this quote, because I had never watched the full interview, which you can see here:

The interview was filmed in 2007, 10 years ago when Kate was 23, she’s 33 now. 10 YEARS. I know I don’t want to be compared to 15 year old me, or really even 23 year old me. Like I really don’t want to be out here “making excuses” but you have to think critically about the context of the things she’s said and how blowing them out of proportion is harmful to people who are actively trying to harm the trans community. Sure, she’s buying into the gold-star rhetoric for a laugh (because it’s a funny joke straight people in my life STILL make to me and so that’s what most young lesbians think is what you do), but she immediately says after “I don’t think [penises] are gross, I think they’re fun! Fun to play with.” That’s not a typical transmisogynist lesbian dialogue (they usually say penises are disgusting). Which yes, equates genitals with gender, but like… I remember in this time period of my life I was doing the same thing. Not out of malice, but because I didn’t know any trans/genderqueer/nonbinary people, I didn’t even know trans men were a thing! In the same interview she says she’s more 98.5% lesbian, it’s very clear that she’s not sure about these things.

You can tell this interview is more an open dialogue between friends trying to have an honest conversation about sexuality in a time that information about sexuality and gender was much harder to obtain. 2007 is long before it became standard for people to qualify that genitals didn’t equate gender. And it’s definitely still not comedy’s standard, and I get what it’s like to constantly be bombarded with cissexist rhetoric that sometimes you just give in to make it easy.

So in real conclusion: I personally think, from my standpoint as a cis lesbian of 25, that tumblr needs to forgive and needs to draw their own conclusions by watching these examples, not repeat this cycle of screaming examples at people without linking those examples. Let people draw their own conclusions and be open to being wrong about something. I was wrong about the entire catalyst for this post, and I am so deeply sorry about it, and will be more careful in the future.

And for the love of god tumblr, stop holding people to such high standards when you probably wouldn’t meet those standards yourself if you were in that same person’s position.

[ghcstlydj]

Rules for mobile users

[[here’s a google doc for the updated list of rules, applicable for all my blogs]]

anything under this cut is from my outdated rules.

[rules updated: 07/28/2019]

–STUFF YOU SHOULD DO–

• No godmodding. No sending (implied or explicit) homophobic/transphobic/bigoted messages to me or my character either.

• Please don’t over-pester me for replies. I promise I’ll get to them. Feel free to drop me a reminder after at least a week of no replies, though. In return, I usually give you a week too, unless otherwise specified in your own rules, until I remind you if it’s your turn to reply (or more often, I chicken out and trust that you’ll eventually respond/want to drop it and end up never bringing up that particular thread ever again). You’re always free to start multiple threads with me, that is greatly encouraged because I love having lots of threads with people.

• If you start getting bored with the roleplay, feel free to drop it and/or end it. We can always start up another thread in the future.

• However, please let me know if you want to drop a roleplay thread! It can give me major anxiety when I’m waiting for a response that’s never going to come, and I wonder if I did something wrong and assume that’s why you’re not replying anymore :’) I’m not forcing you to let me know if you want to drop a thread, you can drop it without saying anything too. But I personally really appreciate being told about that sort of thing.

• Don’t reblog a thread you’re not part of. This should go without being said, of course.

• If you can trim your threads, please do! It’s fine if you can’t, though, because I will most likely trim the thread for you. If you don’t trim threads with other people, however, I’ll be less likely to follow you since I don’t like scrolling through long posts.

• Please don’t claim any of my art as your own. I prefer if you don’t repost any of my art without asking me first. All of my icons are also created by me using my art.

• That being said, if you’re following me, please let me know if I’m doing something that’s making you uncomfortable or is breaking one of your rules!! I do read the rules pages of everyone, but I’m human and forget things, and I’m not a mind reader either ;~; I care, so please tell me if I’m doing anything bad

• You can reply to any of my open starters at any time! Even if they’re a year old! Even if other people have already replied to it! My open starters are open for a reason, and we don’t have to be mutuals for you to reply to them either :’)

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–STUFF YOU SHOULD KEEP IN MIND–

• I am of age to do smut rps, but I will not for this blog because Vinnie and his counterparts are all in closed relationships, and they are physically minors. There will occasionally be sex jokes, but that’s about it.

• I’m alright with roleplaying nsfw, minus smut. Gore, violence, and generally dark roleplays are cool with me. I love angsty things just as much as I love fluff ;w; Speaking of gore, you’re more than welcome to fight/harm/injure my muse to any extent! You don’t even have to ask! However, please read my headcanon post regarding pain and injuries, because my muses are ghosts and therefore work slightly differently when being injured than a regular living human.

• I prefer not to roleplay with personals, unless you are someone I know from school or something like that. Personals in general are allowed to follow me too! However! Personals are not allowed to reblog roleplays, in character posts, or ooc posts especially if I say in the tags that I’m going to delete the post later. Only things that are tagged with my “art tag” tags are okay to reblog. Headcanon posts are not okay to reblog unless I say otherwise.

• Like spamming is okay! I very occasionally lose roleplays, and getting lots of notes from likes are never a factor for that, for me personally. If I lose a roleplay, it’s mostly just because I forgot, so that’s really a “me” thing. I’m usually very good at keeping track of who I’m roleplaying with and how many ongoing threads I have, and I reply pretty consistently, so just remind me if I haven’t responded after five or more days (as stated in one of the above rules)! And I like it when people like my posts! It lets me know that you like my blog and the stuff I post, and it makes me happy :’)

• I’m pretty lenient with short replies. Don’t feel pressured to match the length if my reply gets long! Multi-para (usually 2-4 paragraphs) is my go-to for roleplays, so I usually do long replies by default.

• Adding onto that, I honestly don’t mind one-liners. Of course, in crack/online roleplays it’s fine but I’m okay with it in serious roleplays too. I prefer it if you don’t give me one-liners, but hey, as long as I’m still having fun with the roleplay anyway, it’s cool with me! I understand not being able to think of anything to write, so just as long as you don’t give me one or two words as your reply like ‘He smiled.’ or ’*laughs*’, I’ll be cool with it. Put at least some effort even if you’re only gonna give me one sentence, otherwise I’ll drop the rp once it becomes a repeat offense.

• I will not change the formatting of my roleplays to fit yours. I’m comfortable with sticking to only paragraph style roleplays for myself, thank you very much. It’s cool if you format, I think formatting can look nice sometimes. I will sometimes use icons, but I will not go all out with formatting my own posts with all that cool ‘small text’, and indents, and bolding and all that. The most I ever do with my formatting is italics for emphasis on certain words.

• I tend to move roleplays from asks onto its own post. If I send you an ask meme and you answer it, I’ll respond by making a new post, tagging you, and linking to your reply. Until formatting on asks are fixed, I will answer any asks sent to me in a new text post rather than asks.

• I accept any sort of asks! If they aren’t answered after a while, either I don’t know how to answer it or I might be drawing it out and I am a very slow artist- Sorry-

• Feel free to tag me in any of those tagging memes! I don’t mind and I think they’re pretty fun to do! ^^

• Adding onto the above rule, you’re more than welcome to send me those chain asks like “send this to 10 roleplayers you think are really great!” because it’s super duper nice that you would think to send one to me! But don’t expect me to send them to other people, because I won’t :’) my anxiety won’t let me, so I’m sorry-

• If I follow you, that means I’ve already read all of your rules. I have also read your About and Mun pages, if you have those as well. I might not send the codephrase, though, because most of the time I get anxious over having to send things like that. I’m very sorry–! But if I follow you, then chances are that I most likely have read them- If you choose not to trust me on this, I understand.

• I generally follow every rp blog that follows me, but I might not follow some people back for a few reasons. Some might be for the type of content you post on your blog, but I am still non-selective! I will roleplay with anyone who asks (unless you wanna rp gross things or you’re a mean person,,,, like your muse can be as much of a dick as you want, that’s no problem but don’t be gross to other people as yourself) and if I do roleplay with you, I will be more likely to follow you as well.

• Adding onto the above rule, however, please respect that it’s nothing personal if I ever unfollow you either! It’s not that I hate you or anything, but if you haven’t followed me back and you’re a private rp blog, or if we’re mutuals but never really roleplay, our muses just don’t click, you spam stuff that I don’t want to see on my dash, or you’ve become inactive for years and/or don’t interact with me anymore, there’s nothing wrong with that! We can still be friends but I prefer to have all the people I follow be potential rp partners. Feel free to follow me on my personal, Briightskies, if you still wanna keep in touch but not rp :’)

—

–ABOUT THIS BLOG–

• These are technically fandomless OCs, though they were integrated into the Hetalia world in a way (Vinnie’s boyfriend is Feli Vargas Jr. and Devon, Vincent, and Flint’s boyfriends are just Feli’s 1P, Opposite, and Opposite 1P counterparts respectively). That being said, I will most likely roleplay within the Undertale or Deltarune fandoms (yeah sorry, I’m not too into roleplaying in the Hetalia fandom lol, i’m just stealing the fandom’s AU concepts and running), but I am open to any muse, and other fandoms I am familiar with.

• I’ll also rp with fandoms I’m not into either, as long as you have a good about section for your character, which also indicates how you portray them (any headcanons or AUs you have that aren’t canon, or whether you portray them as canonly as possible, unless they’re OCs of course since a regular about page is a given) and I’ll probably look up other things about that fandom in its wiki if I don’t know what something is anyway.

• This blog is OC, multiverse, and crossover friendly! Multiple threads are also greatly encouraged, because I love having lots of threads with people!

• This blog is a single ship blog! All my muses already have boyfriends whom they all love very much and they do not want to get into relationships with other people

• I will tag common triggers and such, but don’t be afraid to tell me if you have something you want me to tag! I promise I’ll remember to tag it from then on. I do not have any known triggers myself. Any trigger warning tags will be written as “tw; ____” with a semi-colon, not a colon. If I feel like something should be tagged as a trigger but I’m not sure what to tag it exactly, I’ll just tag it as “tw” as a sort of catch-all tag.

Requested tagged triggers:

• tw; vore

• tw; age regression

• tw; jump scares

• tw; mental hospitals

• tw; spiders

• I will only talk through the IM system ooc. If you send me a message through there, I will not respond with ooc brackets ((these things)) because I will automatically assume you know that you are talking to the mun. I do not do roleplays on there.

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Thank you for reading this really long list of rules! It means a lot if you did!

There’s no password, because I’m also anxious with those for other people’s blogs as I said above. But if you would like to interact with me, you can shoot me an ask directed to one of my muses, or like these posts at any time (also feel free to re-like those posts so I can make another starter for you at any time!) for me to write you a starter with Vinnie, Devon, Vincent, or Flint!