#i bought 4 cream puffs last night

[stellamancer]

choux à la crème — (reader x satoru gojo)

notes: uh. see i have this thing where sometimes i get inspired by objects. or food. that's what happened. sorry, revealing the reader from this fic verse went to the kyoto school. that's because i'm biased myself lmao. i also looked up if there was a beard papa's in dotonbori. and i guess there really is. who woulda thought.

contains: sexual innuendo (licking stuff off fingers, thinking about licking/sucking on fingers)

wc: 1.6k (why is it this long???)

“Oh, hey, hey!”

Gojo’s excited voice reminds you of an hyperactive child, loud and fast. When you think about it, you don’t think there’s really not much of a difference; he's pretty much a gigantic child.

You’d been sent out to Osaka on a mission, and Gojo, for what you can only assume was his own amusement, decided to accompany you. As annoying as it was to have him tag along, his presence made the mission infinitely easier.

Though, you really could have handled it all by yourself.

With the mission all taken care of, Gojo’s taken it upon himself to drag you around Dotonbori like you’re a couple of tourists, eating through the street food the district has to offer. You’d never admit it to him, but you don’t mind it all that much; the food in Osaka is pretty good after all. Then again, as a Kyoto school alum, you might be biased.

You look over to see what it is that’s caught Gojo’s attention and you see him pointing at a Beard Papa’s— a cream puff chain. It's nothing too special; they have locations in Tokyo too, but it's not like you should expect Gojo's indomitable sweet tooth to care.

“We should go get some!” he demands, practically pulling you by the arm toward the storefront. You know when Gojo says ‘we’ he’s really just talking about himself. It’s fine though, you’re not all that hungry after all the other things he’s convinced you to eat.

Then, the warm buttery scent of freshly baked pastries fills your nostrils and you decide that maybe you’ve got room for just one cream puff.

You wait behind Gojo as he puts his order in for some ridiculous number of mini-cream puffs, but when he’s done he turns to you and tilts his head. “What do you want?”

Stunned, you stare at him. You’d fully expected to foot the bill for your own cream puff— he hadn’t covered anything else you’d eaten today so why now all of a sudden?

Sensing your hesitation, he smiles at you, but you can’t help but be suspicious of the random act of generosity. You know he can tell because his expression quickly changes to a pout. “What’s with that face?”

“I can pay for myself,” you say.

The smile’s back now, playful and amused. “I know, but just let me treat you this once, okay?”

You frown. Still not convinced.

“Or, you can just let me order for you. That could be fun! Let’s see…” Gojo whirls around to look at the menu, his expression suddenly devious. As wary as you are concerning Gojo’s intentions here, you know it’s a dangerous play putting your fate in his hands, especially when sweets are involved. “Maybe another two dozen…”

You absolutely cannot eat that many cream puffs. Granted, Gojo probably could eat whatever you don’t, but…

“Okay, okay, I’ll order!” you relent, shooting Gojo a quick glare. As usual, he’s completely unfazed, that stupid smile back on his dumb face. “I’ll get a creme brulee cream puff.”

“Just one?” the kid at the register asks, glancing at Gojo. The sheer size of his order probably conditioned them to think you’d have the same sized appetite.

“Just one,” you echo, confirming the order.

The kid nods and Gojo moves in to pay for everything on his card. You step off to the side and not too long after Gojo joins you, a yellow box filled with his cream puffs in one hand, and a small paper pouch containing yours in the other.

“Here you go!” he says cheerfully, plopping the cream puff into your hand.

You stare down at it, still warm, and then you look at Gojo. His attention is clearly on you, expectant and waiting. “You know you didn’t have to…”

He shrugs, opening the box with his now free hand and tosses one of the cream puffs into his massive mouth. “It’s fine.”

You scowl. “I don’t want to owe you.”

Gojo stops and gapes at you, before saying, sounding completely and utterly scandalized, “Is our friendship really so transactional? I thought you liked me!”

“Shut up!” you hiss. “You know what I mean!”

“Oh… So you do like me! I knew it!”

Gojo’s selective hearing has you seeing red and it takes all your self control to not waste the cream puff he bought you by throwing it at his face. “I didn’t say that!”

“You didn’t not say it.”

“Gojo…” You raise a hand and press your fingers to your temple, hoping to stave off any Gojo induced headaches.

He laughs and says, his voice light. “It’s no big deal, you know, it’s just one cream puff.”

You sigh. He does have a point. Not like he’s breaking the bank over it. “...I guess.” Pause. “Thanks.”

He grins. “You better hurry up and eat that— it tastes best when the sugar on top is still warm.”

You nod and pull the paper back to take a bite. Unlike regular cream puffs, this one is collapsed, the pastry forming something akin to a bowl where all the cream filling sits. Over the top of the cream is a layer of hardened sugar, torched so it’s dark brown and caramelized. Looking at it now, there’s no way you’re going to be able to eat this without making a mess.

“If you’re too full from everything else, I’ll gladly eat it,” Gojo teases, reaching one hand toward your cream puff, his fingers wiggling menacingly like he’s going to steal it.

“Just give me a sec!” you snap, swatting at his hand. Might as well go for it. “Thanks again.”

You shove your face into the cream puff, the sugar top crunching as you bite down. As expected, it gets messy, and even with the paper packaging, you manage to get cream on your fingers. You consider taking a second to clean them off, but now that you’ve taken a bite, the cream puff’s structural integrity is quickly failing. If you don’t finish it fast, you’re going to have a larger mess on your hands.

Literally.

Hurriedly, you shove the rest of the cream puff in your mouth, ignoring how some of the filling smears across your cheek. Once the cream puff is gone, you crumple the wrapping in one hand and inspect the other. The mess isn’t as bad as you thought and you lick the remaining cream from the pads of your fingers. It’s a bit uncouth, but it’s not like Gojo will care.

At least, that’s what you think, but when you look at him, he’s clearly gawking at you through the material of his blindfold, his hand hovering awkwardly near his mouth like he’d just tossed in a cream puff, but hadn’t moved to grab another.

Confused, you tilt your head. “Gojo?”

The sound of your voice seems to startle him out of whatever daze he’s in and reaches toward you, his voice low as he smirks, “Missed some.”

Right. Your cheek. You quickly reach up and, with your thumb, wipe the cream toward your mouth. Your tongue darts out, swiping over your thumb as it laps up the remaining cream. For good measure, you wipe your mouth with the back of your hand.

Gojo’s hand drops to his side, limp. And though you can’t see it, you just know he’s staring again. Why? And why does it look like the tips of his ears are a little pink? Could it be that he’s… blushing?

Why?

“You… okay?” you ask tentatively.

“Yeah!” Gojo replies, and you think his voice actually sounds a little strained. “Totally okay!”

“You sure?”

“Absolutely!” he insists. “In fact, I’m so okay, that I’m going to share some of my cream puffs with you. Aren’t I so nice?”

“Gojo, I don’t actually— mmph!” you start, but he won’t hear any of it. He reaches into his box and shoves a cream puff straight into your mouth. It feels like it nearly explodes on contact, the sweet vanilla flavor coating your entire tongue.

“The cream puffs from here are so good, right?” he asks, his voice louder than usual. He’s not wrong, but you don’t know how he expects you to answer; your mouth is still kind of full.

Once you swallow, you try to speak. “Gojo, really, I—”

“Here! Have another!” he says, stuffing yet another cream puff in your mouth before you can even finish your sentence.

Now, he’s just being ridiculous. You quickly chew at it until it’s small enough for you to gulp down. This time you don’t even think about tasting it. He’s got another one prepped, ready to thrust it in your mouth, but you move out of the way. “Gojo, stop. I don’t want any more.”

His hand goes completely still. Disturbingly still, you realize. Gojo’s always moving, wiggling, fidgeting, as if he’s got too much energy for his stupidly large body to handle. To see him stop moving... It’s weird. It’s almost wrong.

You don’t know what comes over you, especially when you just said you didn’t want any more, but you lean forward and wrap your mouth around the cream puff he’s holding. The corners of your lips brush against his fingers and a strange feeling runs down your spine and straight to the deepest pit of your stomach. You think of trying to swallow the cream puff whole. You think of lingering there, letting your tongue trace the shape of his fingers. You think of—

You pull away from him, refusing to look him in the face as you finish this cream puff. Once you swallow, you say, quietly. “You’re right. They’re really good.”

Gojo is quiet. Oddly so. But then, he laughs, way too loud as he says, his voice still strained. “Told ya so.”

[undead-supernova]

HIGH TOLERANCE

Only 10mg / Masterlist

Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5

warnings: so much angst, a night gone wrong, more (derogatory) Steve, Gertrude (extra derogatory), Delta-9 gummies

pairings: modern!bestfriend!Eddie x bisexual!fem!reader

plot: dates aren't always what you want them to be...let alone with people who you don't really want to be on dates with

wc: 4k

song inspirations: VOID by Melanie Martinez, We Are Nobody Else by Lady Lamb

“What do you mean you haven’t seen any movies this year?”

“I mean, I’ve seen movies. I just haven’t found anything I thought was interesting in the last eight months.”

“What do you watch then?”

This morning you actually found someone on Hinge named Gertrude and by the afternoon you were on a lunch date. And you’d thought they were cute when you met up at Grub Burger, like really cute, with thin-rimmed rectangular glasses and a long dark braid down their back. They had a soft voice and an even softer smile…but it was quickly starting to go downhill.

Every question they threw at you felt like an investigation where you were wrong every single time, as if your preferences weren’t good enough. Even the lack of movies you’d seen.

In your defense, you usually went to the movie theater if Eddie asked. He was really good at guessing when a movie’s going to be worthwhile (and you weren’t). He never once disappointed. He’d also never taken you to a movie without at least giving you something of the cannabis persuasion and buying a large popcorn for you to share. 

Sometimes he even bought your ticket.

Which you always pretended were dates like the desperate woman you were.

“Yeah, I really like 2000s movies,” you replied, shrugging. “I’ll pop on a Seth Rogan film every once and a while. Like, I know they’re a little outdated or whatever, but they’re fun. Oh, especially if you smoke some weed. Then it’s super funny. Like, This Is The End? It’s just cool to see all these actors—"

“I mean, they’re, like, super problematic,” Gertrude interrupted.

You nodded. “No, I know,” you agreed, scratching at your neck. “I know. It’s not the best, but like, I recognize that. I don’t think it’s all funny. And it’s not just Seth Rogan, there are other genres like dramas and fantasy and horror. Have you heard of the movie The Invisible? It’s about this guy who dies and is a ghost and can’t talk to anyone and finds out he—”

“I just thought because you’re queer, you’d have better standards for the media you consume.”

Pausing, you felt yourself deflate. You shrugged again, wondering how this conversation was turning into something else entirely. “I mean, I think you could argue that every piece of media is problematic, depending on the way you look at it. If you acknowledge that the media you like is flawed, you’re still allowed to enjoy it. It’s not that hard.”

Gertrude gave you that judgmental look again, pushing their fork around their French fries. “Agree to disagree. Anyways, maybe you should ask me a question now.”

As if I had had any chance to ask anything since we sat down.

“Uh, okay. What’s your favorite color?”

Gertrude finally smiled for the first time since you’d greeted each other. They really were pretty. There was just something so grating about their attitude…

“I think I like a soft yellow, something bright and cheery.”

You nodded, trying to seem more interested than you were. Some part of you even felt like laughing. “Yeah, yellow’s a good color. Very vibrant. Makes you happy.”

“What about you?”

“I don’t know. Maybe black? Red?”

Steve sighed, scratching his bare thigh before going back to his cherry and goat cheese ice cream. Eddie merely stared down at his cream puff flavor, unsure as to why he thought this date would be a good idea. He’d suggested they go out to get ice cream (definitely not to distract himself from what was probably happening across town with someone who he definitely wasn’t thinking about). 

But Steve didn’t remotely hesitate, making Eddie think that maybe that was a sign. He was in it now. They were getting somewhere…

If only it hadn’t started going downhill just from asking basic questions that they somehow hadn’t thought of in the last however many years of knowing each other.

“Ah, come on, Eddie. You can’t say red!”

Eddie’s eyebrows furrowed, trying not to get irritated. “Why not?” he asked. “It’s a color. That was part of the assignment.”

“I just feel like it’s a little stereotypical for you.”

“Why, ‘cause I like metal?” Eddie guessed with a sigh sitting in the back of his throat. He was careful not to release it.

“Uh, yeah,” Steve replied. Like it was obvious. Like it was stupid. “Precisely.”

“Okay, then what’s yours, big guy?”

“Probably red or green,” you answered. “Not a soft green. More like a deep emerald?”

“Like Christmas?”

You shook your head. To give them credit, it was a common question you got whenever anyone cared enough to ask.

Well, except for one person...

“Well, no. I wouldn’t consider myself someone who likes Christmas all that much.”

“Let me guess, your favorite holiday is something weird, like St. Patrick’s Day.”

What the hell was this person even talking about? Were they hearing themselves talk?

You successfully suppressed your sigh before you decided to answer honestly. “Uh, my favorite holiday is Halloween.”

“Next you’re gonna tell me your favorite holiday is Halloween.”

Eddie raised an eyebrow. “Uh, because it is.” What was Steve even talking about? Why was he suddenly being so fucking judgmental? “Let me guess, your favorite is Christmas,” he bit back.

Steve laughed, oblivious to Eddie’s venom. “Yeah, the lights are cool. The hot chocolate with the peppermint in it. Oh, and the snow. You can layer everything. I mean, it’s cute. Plus,” he stopped, clearly trying to make his next sentence sound less rude. “I just think Halloween is a little…meh.”

“Meh?”

Steve shrugged. “Yeah.”

“What beef do you have with Halloween?”

“It’s just a little overdone, don’t you think?”

You shook your head, appalled as to why they didn’t get how important the holiday was. 

“No, I think it’s about expressing yourself and becoming something more than what you are. It gives kids a moment of exploration of themselves and creativity. Not to mention its importance for queer people and how they can have one night where they can be themselves—"

“—without the scrutiny of the public. We could walk out in drag or anything feminine whatsoever and it’s not considered threatening, even if that’s shitty in and of itself. But it’s still that opportunity.” Eddie smiled to himself. “That chance. It’s bringing a sense of fucking safety that’s otherwise missing.”

Steve nodded before he shrugged, scraping at the bottom of his cup. “Yeah, you make a good point. I guess I haven’t really thought about it like that.”

Eddie forgot that he and Steve never really had conversations like these. It was usually you who he could talk to for hours on end, deconstructing what it meant to live and how everything was about perspective. Inebriated, sober—it didn’t matter. Like those days at the aquarium, you were able to see the bigger picture at the end of the day. You talked about stuff like this without even having to be asked.

That ticket still sat in his wallet. He always took it out whenever he needed a pick-me-up. It gave him a spark of hope that life could change for the better if someone like you existed.

Steve kept talking, but Eddie was pulling out his wallet and running his fingers over the ticket like it would bring you here and he could have you here instead. 

As you and Gertrude fell into silence, you put your hand in your skirt pocket, feeling the smoothness of Eddie’s yellow pick. Tracing the edges, you wondered what it felt like for him to run it down his strings. How it fit in his fingers. 

How he was doing.

Where he was.

If he was available.

You looked at Gertrude, watching them scroll through their TikTok feed, volume up, before you stood and grabbed your purse.

“I have to go.”

Eddie watched Steve reach the very bottom of his cup, hoping there was a way for him to slip in a reason to leave. Because, holy shit, this was a piss poor excuse for a date.

He looked back over at the long line forming at the door, knowing you would die to have a cup of the wildberry lavender flavor. You were a big fan of Jeni’s Ice Cream and always gave him grief whenever he went without you. It was kind of funny how your face would screw up as you yelled at him for being a traitor. He nearly chuckled at the memory. 

And it suddenly hit him that he was way more concerned with his thoughts of you.

How your date was going.

Where you were.

If you were available.

Fuck having a good enough reason to leave.

“Can we go?”

You basically sprinted to your car, barely registering how rude you had just been. You didn’t say goodbye, didn’t even give them an excuse. But you argued to, well, yourself that telling them some shitty excuse would be ruder than not saying anything at all. 

All you wanted was to talk to Eddie and tell him about how awful your date was. How mean Gertrude was and how confused you were about what the hell you’d done to deserve their scrutiny.

Sighing, you scrambled into the front seat and tossed your phone onto the passenger seat.  Pulling out Eddie’s guitar pick, you tried to calm yourself down. You studied the brand, the tiny tortoise outline with the shell replaced with the Tortex brand name. It read that it was a Dunlop, 50mm. Smooth. Thin. The kind Eddie always said he preferred, always said it hit the strings so magically. Said it rang out the bottom E string, like it was trying to reach the heavens and got there every time. 

And there was your eyeliner, ruining it.

You shook your head, resigning to the fact that you probably should just go home and isolate yourself for a while. Try and figure out how the hell you were supposed to be normal around Eddie and Steve the next time you saw them together.

Is that how it’s going to be now? you wondered, feeling nausea pool in your stomach. Are they going to be a package deal? Is that something I could survive?

For how long?

Before you could even start your car, your phone started going off. As soon as you saw Eddie’s picture pop up, you let out a sigh of relief.

“Hey,” he breathed, sounding as exhausted as you felt.

“Hey, hello,” you replied, trying to calm yourself down. “Hi. I was actually about to call you.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah. I just had the worst date ever,” you grumbled, trying to rub the eyeliner off the pick.

“Me, too.”

You sat up straighter, shoving the pick back in your pocket. “Really?”

“God, yeah. I’m never going to Jeni’s without you again.”

“You went to Jeni’s without me?” With Steve, you felt like adding. 

But you were going to be good. Just this once.

“Yeah, yeah, I know. Like I said, I’m never going without you ever again.” You let out an irritated huff. “Listen, Weirdo, would you mind if I came over and we took some edibles and, like, watched a movie?”

Thank God.    

“Yes, please.”

“See you in twenty?”

You smiled. “See you in twenty. Traitor.”

Eddie had gotten back to your apartment at the same time as you, both fighting for the closest parking spot with playful honks. You may have almost hit his van. And he could (maybe) admit that he almost deserved it.

“That’s rude,” he said as he hopped down from the van. “That’s just—”

He stopped as he finally got a look at you. Because it wasn’t even fair anymore, the way you just being you flustered him. Just standing next to your car with a simple Joan Jett t-shirt tucked into a short skirt and black Converse. Some sword earrings. And fishnets. Fucking fishnets.

Did he mention that you were wearing a different pair than the night before?

How many do you fucking own?

“That’s just what?” you asked, looking confused.

Eddie had to get a grip. He couldn’t keep doing this, couldn’t keep losing his focus whenever you were around. Hell, he was already losing his focus when you weren’t. When you were looking like this, it made everything worse. Much, much worse. 

He shook his head before poking your shoulder. “Extremely rude.”

You rolled your eyes and swatted his hand away, starting the short walk up to your apartment. “Hey, you asked me to hang and then you tried to steal my favorite parking spot? Where are your manners?”

“I think we both know I lost those years ago.”

“Okay, weirdo,” you said.

“Uh, what did you just call me?” Eddie asked playfully, clasping his hand over his chest. 

A giggle escaped your lips as you ascended the stairs, making his smile widen.

“You heard me!” you exclaimed as you quickened your pace up the steps. “And I will not be taking it back!”

The two of you bickered like always, going back and forth with seemingly no end to each bit that you started and never truly seemed to finish. Sometimes it felt like he couldn’t help himself around you, always excited to hear what you had to say or what you wanted to do. Anything you wanted, because any opportunity to be around you was an opportunity worth taking.

You decided to heat up leftover soup for you both, maneuvering around the kitchen while you complained about the weather and your upstairs neighbor who was taking all the warm water these days despite the scorching heat.

Eddie wouldn’t admit it, but he was having a hard time paying attention to your words. How could he when your hands were waving around the air and putting your hair up? How in the hell was he supposed to pay attention when you decided to run chapstick over your lips? Or when you bent down to take your shoes off, skirt riding up just enough to reveal the lining of red underwear? And how was he supposed to feel normal when you were wearing the cutest fucking socks, with black cats sporting witch hats next to a brewing cauldron? 

“I’m gonna go pick out a movie,” Eddie said suddenly, backing away from the kitchen.

“Oh, yeah,” you said absentmindedly as you fiddled with the microwave. “That’s a really good idea. What’re you gonna put on?”

“No idea,” he lied. “Absolutely no idea.”

After you finished the chickpea and sausage soup, you and Eddie popped 10mg Delta-9 gummies and decided to chill on the couch. As soon as Eddie pressed play on your remote, you immediately knew it was the opening to When Harry Met Sally. Like always. 

But it wasn’t like you were paying attention. If anything, you were talking over it like you were in a crowded room. Small talk here and there until you were unable to keep your questions to yourself.

“So, you said your date with Steve didn’t go well,” you said. “Do you want to maybe talk about it?”

Eddie groaned, throwing his hands over his face. You may have taken the opportunity to stare at him, how his tattoos were visible. He’d shown up in his jean jacket but discarded it as if he was taunting you with only a black tank top and jeans. His guitar pick necklace around his neck. Rings. Threaded bracelets and watch. That fucking nail polish…

Focus, you told yourself. Just focus.

“I don’t know…” he trailed, biting his lip.

“I’ll share mine if you share yours,” you suggested.

A sigh left his lips before he gave in. “He thought it was predictable that I liked black and Halloween.”

“Has he even met you?” you asked, scoffing. “Of course you do. That’s, like, your whole thing. It’s not predictable, it’s just who you are.”

“I know! It was so weird. We’ve known each other since high school. I don’t know how he didn’t know that already. Rob knows more than him, apparently.”

“She’s extremely observant,” you noted.

Too observant.

“That’s a good...observation.” Now it was your turn to groan, making Eddie laugh before he added, “Now’s your turn, Weirdo.”

Well, I couldn’t stop thinking about you the entire time. So what does that say about me?

“I got absolutely slammed for my shitty 2000s comedies.”

“But Michael Cera is a visionary…” he trailed, confused.

“Well, apparently they’re all problematic and I’m damaging our community.”

Eddie shook his head, rolling his eyes. “Whatever. So is everything else. Besides, you don’t even laugh at the bad stuff. It’s like eating around a bad food you like. It’s not like the whole plate is bad, right? Most of it’s good.”

“That’s what I’m saying!” you exclaimed, throwing your hand up. “It’s like eating at Waffle House. You know it’s not going to be the best meal you’ve ever had, but damn if those waffles don’t hit the spot every time. Especially when you’re fucked up.”

“You get it! You may be the smartest person I’ve met.”

“Or maybe the dumbest.”

“Nah, you’re pretty intelligent…when you want to be.”

“Ouch!” you said, grabbing one of your throw pillows and whacking him with it. “Take that.”

Before you could take another shot, he took the pillow from you and hit you back. “You deserved that one, Weirdo.”

You fell into gentle laughter, shaking your head at him before you sighed and leaned your head on the back cushion. Eddie readjusted, also leaning his head back so he could make eye contact with you. He wrapped his arms around the pillow, hugging it to his chest.

For a moment, you just kind of sat there and looked at him. Watched his eyes flicker back and forth between yours while you did the same. Studied the brown, the way his pupils dilated as you kept staring at each other. You couldn’t say how long that lasted before you finally said something.

“I just don’t think it’s supposed to be this hard.”

 “What, dating?” he asked, tightening his grasp on the pillow.

“Yeah.”

He nodded, letting out a hum. “I don’t think so, either.”

You looked away from Eddie’s gaze to find him fiddling with the pillow’s black fringe, clearly anxious about something. It was exactly how he played with his lighter or tapped his leg. Rapid, incessant. Finding his bearings through the texture as if it could keep his attention longer than a few seconds.

And then he said your name, bringing your eyes back to his.

“Should I keep seeing Steve?” he asked.

This time you were the one readjusting, feeling yourself scoot even closer to him. Your legs were touching, the blanket seeming to slip halfway off you two. But neither of you moved to fix it. 

“Does Steve make you happy?”

“I…I don’t know.” He let out a staggered breath. “I think so.”

And you tried not to, but your leg was slipping further down his calf. Blanket be damned—you were already starting to burn.

“Tell me something. Why do you always put When Harry Met Sally on?” you asked, trying to steer away from the subject of Steve Harrington. Trying to distract yourself from the heat building inside you. Trying to distract yourself from thinking something stupid. “I thought the second Lord of the Rings movie was your favorite. The Two Towers.”

He shrugged. “No, yeah. The Two Towers is my favorite. I just think I’ve just always related to When Harry Met Sally. Always missing my chances, opportunities. Always just one step away from getting what I want.”

Was Eddie getting…closer?

You raised an eyebrow. “Missing your chances?”

And why was he staring at your mouth?

“Yeah.”

But weren’t you also staring at his?

“Are you, um, Harry?” you asked, trying to keep yourself from doing something stupid. “Or are you Sally?”

Why was he so close to making you do something stupid?

“Depends on the day,” he said, softer this time.

And why was he leaning closer, searching your eyes for some kind of confirmation that this was okay?

And why were you about to let him?

“What do you want?” you asked, barely above a whisper.

Eddie didn’t answer, the hum of Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal being the only sound left in the room other than your shared breathing. 

“What has she done? She makes desserts.”

It was growing heavier the closer he got to you, maybe the closest you’d ever been since you met. And it was so strange, the way he affected you.

“You all went to a Met game together?”

Your fingers reached out, searching for his. Found it on his thigh, also reaching for yours. Fingers touching, itching to twine. And it was so strange, the way he moved you.

“But Sally hates baseball.”

And there Eddie was, leaning in more and more, his breath seeming to intoxicate you the more it fanned over your face.

“Harry doesn’t even like sweets.”

But it was dangerous, the way he could break you.

His lips just barely brushed yours before you pulled back.

“No,” you said.

“What?” Eddie asked, leaning back. “Are you okay?”

All you could think about was Steve. Eddie literally just told you he was happy with Steve and then he was going to, what, kiss you? What business did he have doing that? And what business did you have being a homewrecker?

“I think you should go,” you said sternly, throwing the blanket off and standing.

Eddie looked up at you like he was confused. As if he wasn’t just trying to do something incredibly stupid.

“What? Really?”

You walked over to the opposite end of the living room, desperate to stay the hell away from him. Because there was some part of you that was wondering how stupid kissing him would really be. But maybe if you stayed as far away from him as possible, you wouldn’t be tempted. You couldn’t be. 

“Yep.”

Eddie shook his head, standing. “What just happened here?” he asked. “Like, seriously.”

You shook your head. “I just want you to go, Eddie. Okay?”

“No, not okay. Jesus H Christ,” he huffed, throwing the pillow on the couch. “You can’t just kick me out and not even tell me what I’m doing wrong.”

“You should figure that one out for yourself. You’re probably too high anyway,” you said, maybe a little too bitterly.

“It was only ten milligrams,” he emphasized. “And maybe, just maybe, I need to be given some clear fucking communication.”

“You’ll figure it out.” 

He gave you a hard stare. “Really? Is this really what you’re doing right now?”

“What?” you pushed. “What am I doing?”

Say it, you thought. Eddie, please just say it.

“Maybe you should figure that one out for yourself,” he mocked.

And before you could figure out how to respond, Eddie turned away from you. He stomped over to the kitchen counter, grabbing his keys and wallet before walking towards the door.

“For the record,” he said, turning back to look at you in the eye. “I’m completely sober. You of all people should know I have a high tolerance.”

Eddie opened the door and slammed it right behind him.

Eddie couldn’t stop his thoughts firing at a rapid pace as he nearly sprinted to the van. He was going to pass out, he was so sure of it this time. Hell, he was dying. He had to be dying. There was no way he was going to survive this.

The kiss. The fucking kiss. He was going to kiss you. He was actually going to do it.

Eddie’s fingers trembled as he tried to unlock the driver’s side. But the keys slipped from his fingers, clanging onto the asphalt. 

“Fuck,” he whispered, barely able to fight against whatever was grabbing hold of his throat and tightening its grasp. Shaking his head, he leaned his back against the driver’s side door. “Shit.”

Eddie clutched his chest for real this time, feeling his heart race. The panic was flooding his system, tears pricking at his eyes as he tried to focus on the breeze. The white noise of it moving through the trees. The stupid fucking squirrel nearly getting run over as someone barreled through the speed bumps. Your fucking Halloween socks.

This was going wrong. All of it. Every single last scrap of dignity he had was gone. He blew it. He fucking blew it.

If he was stronger, he would turn back around and bang on your door. Demand that you talk about this and tell you how your shared avoidance was going to be the death of any and all chance at a relationship. Kiss you the way he knew he could, knew he would. 

Because there was no way, no way, that nothing was happening between you two. 

He knew it. You knew it.

If only he was strong enough.

And it was occurring to him that he didn’t feel this way about Steve. If anything, he could never feel this way about him. And, frankly, he was starting to truly understand that it had nothing to do with Steve. It was everyone. He would never be able to feel this way about anyone else.

This time, Eddie couldn’t shake that off.

This time, Eddie knew that something had to change.

You couldn’t help but hope he’d turn back. That he’d walk right back in and kiss you the way you knew he could, knew he would if he wanted you like that. And maybe he did want to kiss you, you couldn’t say. But why would he continue to see Steve, bringing him up in nearly every conversation if he wanted you? What would be the point of that?

You were more confused than ever, finding yourself haunted by the scene playing on the TV behind you.

“What’s the matter with me?” Sally exclaimed.

“Nothing,” Harry said softly.

“I’m difficult!”

“You’re challenging,” he countered.

You fell back on the couch, sobbing as you listened to Harry and Sally go back and forth, nearly taunting you with how fucking accurate it was. How fucking accurate everything around you was, from music to movies and back again. 

“No, no, no! I drove him away!”

This was your fault, and now you had to live with those pesky little consequences you hadn’t thought of. You drove Eddie away and now you had no idea how much longer you had before he would fade into a stranger, a fever dream of what once was. And a reminder of what could’ve been.

[preferredrealty]

Wrong Place, Wrong Time - A Mob!Shawn Mendes Series

Part 3 - Santa Monica Pier

Part 4

Warnings: None? Slight fluff?

Shawn tapped his fingers anxiously against the shiny counter of the diner as he looked around, sunglasses perched on the bridge of his nose. It was a Tuesday, a whole two days since he had seen (Y/N) as he remembered her name from the tag on her uniform. The diner was quite busy for a Tuesday morning which made him even more anxious as he looked around for the familiar waitress he couldn't get out of his head the past few days, the image of her blushing burned into his brain.

The bell of the door rang making him whip around, his eyes taking a second to realise it wasn't her, but the other waitress who asked him his name. "Morning!" Her joyful voice called as she walked behind the counter disappearing behind the swinging doors, coming out again with her afro in a puff on top of her head, the red coat she was wearing gone and the familiar pink uniform on display. She walked past Shawn, glancing at him then doing a double take. "Shawn?" She asked leaning on the counter across from him. "Baby she don't work on Tuesdays." She chuckled as his face turned into a frown. "Oh, uh Okay thanks.." Deloris stuck out a manicured hand. "Deloris." She smiled as he shook her hand before her grip tighten like a vice pulling his arm towards her, friendly smile gone and a glare replacing it. 

"Alright Mendes-" She started a small smirk growing on her face at Shawn's shocked face. "(Y/N) is a sweet girl, a good girl. A rare angle in this hell hole of a city and I will personally see to it that you meet a long, painful, ending if something happens to that girl. Got it?" He nodded with a firm frown on his face as he stared at the woman. "Who are you?" He questioned as she let go of his hand. "I met you before. You were doing business with my husband. Jerome Missick." Suddenly Shawn's face lit up as he leaned closer to her. "Oh now I get it." He chuckled. "You seem like a nice guy Shawn, career aside. I'd be a hypocrite if I stood in the way of you and (Y/N)." She sighed looking at the clock. "Six O'clock on the dot. She'll come here for a drink to go and spend the evening walking around the city." With a wide smile and a thank you, Shawn left the diner, planning out his evening to 'bump' into (Y/N).

X

Pushing a red belt through the loops of her dark mom jeans (Y/N) paused to look at her outfit in the mirror. She had a white Levi's top tucked into her jeans, the bottom of them cuffed to show off her while high top converse. Reaching for her retro, pastel pink, purple and blue windbreaker she slipped in on, pushing her purse into her pocket.

Looking out the window of her small apartment she grinned watching as the sun began to set, the purples and oranges flooding the sky. Sticking her earphones into her ears she walked out of her door, pulling it shut behind her. Throw a lazy wave to the neighbour walking down the hall she pushed open the heavy door leading to the stairwell of her apartment building, glaring at the elevator as she passed it, never trusting it again after getting stuck twice. The clang of her shoes hitting the black metal steps were soon drown out as she hit shuffle on her Spotify. A smile spreading across her Chapstick slick lips as Woman by KESHA started to play. 

Pushing open the black door of her apartment building she stuck her hands in her pocks, a slight bounce in her step as she walked, the beat of the music making her bob her head. Looking around her neighbour hood she felt a warmth spread in her chest, feeling content with where she was in life. Not often someone can say they're completely independent at her age.

Her heart stuttered as Still Good by DNCE played, bringing her mind back to the night in the ally. She could taste a bitterness in her mouth and hated herself. Not because she witnessed a murder and did nothing about it, it was a common thing in this city. You turn a blind eye and carry on if you want to keep your life. No, the bitterness and self hatred was because she couldn't stop the fluttering in her heart and stomach when she thought of Shawn, his broad shoulders, amazing curls and droop worthy eyes. 

With a huff she shook herself as she walked into the diner, pulling her earbuds out. "Honey I'm home!" She yelled jokingly, Deloris' head quickly popped out from the kitchen with a grin. "Ain't you got somewhere better to hang out on your day off?" She teased walking out pulling (Y/N) into a hug. "How was your day baby?" (Y/N) plopped down on a stool, waving to Greg, the chef, through the hole in the wall before turning to Deloris. "It was amazing, I went out with friends this morning for breakfast, Oh my god Deloris I bought the nicest top! I need to bring it in tomorrow to show you. I finally went to that art gallery I-" - Shawn sat in a snug booth at the end of the diner watching (Y/N) talk animatedly, a wide smile on her face as Deloris listened intently, one elbow propped on the counter, her palm holding up her head. "it was beautiful Deloris you should have seen the new art work they're displaying!" She giggled with a dreamy sigh. "Sounded like a good day baby. Now-" Deloris clapped her hands together standing straight. "What weird concoction of a drink can I make you today?" (Y/N) looked behind her out to the streets that the last few rays of sun were lighting up. Turning back she smiled at Deloris. "I'll have a Honey Iced Tea to-go please Deloris" Feeling a presence next to her she met Shawn's eyes "Oh that sounds good. Make it two." Deloris gave (Y/N) a teasing wink as she got to work on the drinks.

(Y/N) turned in her seat to face Shawn with a light smile. "Stalking me now Shawn?" She teased a smile brightening his face. "Pure coincidence baby." He replied leaning closer to get. "You look good." He muttered glancing over her, taking in the first time he seen her out of the pink uniform. "You look pretty good yourself Mendes." She blushed as she looked over his skin tight black jean, white top and denim jacket. "Here you go." Deloris smiled setting two take away cups on the counter, (Y/N) reached for her purse only to be stopped when Shawn handed over money for them both. "Hey!" She giggled. "My treat." He smirked standing up gesturing towards the door. "Walk with me?" Turning to Deloris (Y/N) bid a goodbye before walking out the door with Shawn.

X

"Santa Monica Pier?" (Y/N) asked as they walked toward the flashing lights. "It's nice out, I figured we could maybe play a few games? Ride the wheel?" He chewed his lip unsure of her reaction. (Y/N) pouted her lips before nodding. "I'm gonna beat your ass at Whac-A-Mole." She said walking ahead as Shawn stood frozen, expecting her to turn him down. "You coming or not?" She called without even looking back.

To say (Y/N) beat his ass at Whac-A-Mole was an understatement, she jumped happily as she beat him, throwing a teasing pout his way. Moving along down the pier they stopped at a ice-cream vendor, buy two tubs before by passing everything else, to go sit at the of of the pier watching the sun set.

"So, you like art huh?" He asked after a while of sitting on the bench in comfortable silence. (Y/N) turned to look at him with a raised eyebrow. "Were you listening to me?" She asked with a scoff. "It was hard not to, you looked so happy talking about it." Scooping some ice-cream onto her spoon (Y/N) ate it before answering him. "I love art, I always have. I know some people don't get it, its just like looking at a picture to them but, seeing the impressions of the brush strokes, the details in clay work, the effort and time put into making something so beautiful. It just makes me feel...happy? I guess." Shawn nodded as he pushed the remaining ice-cream around his pot. "I get you, I feel the same about music." He chuckled at (Y/N)'s shocked expression, her mouth clamped around another spoon full of Ice Cream. "What?" He scoffed. "Nothing." She giggled. "Just didn't expect you to be the music type." Shawn stuck his finger into the melting ice-cream before tapping it onto her nose making her freeze in shock. "That's because you don't know me." He teased standing up. (Y/N) stood too, preparing to flick a spoonful of ice cream at him when he took off running. Quickly throwing the two cups in the trash (Y/N) chased after him, his laughter making her smile. "You're so dead!" She yelled as she followed him down the steps of the pier onto the beach.

Sand crunched under their feet as they ran, their laughter making people look at them. Shawn stopped, turning around abruptly catching (Y/N) in his arms making her blush. Pulling the sleeve of his denim jacket up over his hand, he whipped the ice cream from her nose smiling down at (Y/N). "I meant it you know..you don't know me but I would really like to get the chance to know you." He grinned. (Y/N) blushed pulling her lip between her teeth making Shawn look at it. "Okay." She whispered with a smile making Shawn grin. Putting his arm around her shoulder they walked down the beach a little in a comfortable silence. "I'm gonna get you back for that ice cream y'know." (Y/N) said to him as she turned to face him her hands holding the lapels of his jacket. "Yeah?" Shawn smirked as she stood on her tip toes leaning up as if to kiss him. Shawn smiled leaning down, just before their lips met (Y/N) giggled pushing him back a step and running just as a wave crashed the shore, leaving Shawn to get his feet soaked by the freezing ocean water. He gasped stepping forward out of the water. "Oh you are so getting it!" He yelled as he started running after her.

X

Shawn put his hand in his pockets as he watched (Y/N) slide her key into the door of her apartment building. She pulled it open and stood with her foot holding it open turning to Shawn. "I would invite you in but I have work in the morning so..." Shawn nodded with a smile. "Good to know my favourite waitress will be working." (Y/N) blushed looking at his damp shoes making her giggle. "Thank you, for tonight. I had fun." Shawn nodded in agreement and was about to turn away when she held out her hand. "Give me your phone." With a grin Shawn handed it over. She typed a few things before handing it back. Shawn looked down and couldn't help but reach forward pulling her into a hug. 

(Y/N) let out a hum as she wrapped her arms around his waist as his circled her shoulders. "So..I'll see you in the morning." He grinned walking away. "Y'know, you have my number now. You don't have to stalk my work place." She called after him. He turned walking backwards with his hands in his jacket packets he shrugged. "I told you! I like the food...and the view." He winked before turning around and walking on. 

Shaking her head (Y/N) made her way up to her apartment, unlacing her shoes and toeing them off, along with her jacket. As a text came through she dropped herself on her bed opening it. 

From Unknown: Thank you for giving me the chance to get to know you honey, sleep well. - Shawn. 

A girly giggle bubbled out of her lips as she flopped back on her bed, throwing her hands over her face, unsure of the type of man she's just invited into her life.  

So what do you guys think? Any kind of feed back is appreciated💛🌻

[medicalmyanne]

Sephora VIB Picks: My Daily Make-Up Essentials

By popular request, all my make-up essentials (including shades!) are linked below. I have sensitive, acne-prone, oily/normal skin. I have hooded eyelids. I wear the same make-up products for class, rotations, and interviews. I value make-up that does not break me out, is long-lasting, and is business appropriate. I’m also attaching a few non-filtered photos so you can see the true appearance/color of the products.

1. Face Primer: Skin stays matte, pores less apparent, and allows my make-up to last all day. I buy the mini version, which lasts me 6 months.

2. CC cream (everyday wear): I don’t wear foundation but instead wear this full-coverage CC cream. It is my go-to when I go out with friends or special events. It has SPF 50 with a natural, skin-like finish. My shade is “Light”. This 1 tube has lasted me almost 2.5 years because you need so little for a beautiful flawless look.

3. CC cream (business interviews): I loved the matte version of this CC cream while interviewing for residency. The days were often super long (some of my interviews began at 7 AM; I woke up at 5-5:30 AM) and it helped me stay matte, requiring no touch-ups for 7-8 hours. My shade is “Light”. 

4. Concealer: Not part of the Sephora sale, but my holy grail concealer. Can cover everything. I am shade “Light Medium”.

4a. Anti-Fatigue Eye Balm: The green tint cancels out red/purple undertones in dark circles. Also leaves your undereyes silky smooth, a perfect canvas for concealer next. 

4b. Under-eye corrector: My holy grail! I use shade “Light Medium”. It brightens up my undereyes a ton. 

5. Beauty sponge: I don’t wet mine before using it because it often sheers out my coverage. I only buy a new sponge once a year. I wash mine every 2-3 days.

6. Eyeshadow primer: One of my ESSENTIALS! If you have hooded & oil eyelids, this is a MUST to make your eyes last all day. I use the anti-aging version of this eyelid primer, and it makes my liner last for 12+ hours. The standard size has lasted me years (seriously, it’s been like 2 years). I tried the popular trend of using concealer as an eyelid primer, and this primer still works 110% better. 

7. Eyeshadow: I only ever use 3 shadows. They are all individual, matte singles in a custom quad. I cannot wear glitter/shimmer eyeshadows because my eyes are too sensitive :( They currently have a promo going on for a custom quad for $32. My own quad has lasted me 3 years, and I still haven’t finished 1 eyeshadow entirely. I wear the shade “Burnt Orange” matte every day. For special occasions, I will deepen with the shade “Blazing” and “Deep plum”. 

8. Eyeliner: I hate how much I love this eyeliner but it is what it is :( It is my holy grail liner, and lasts all day & night. It glides on easily, with no tugging on your eyelids, and a little goes a long way. I stock up once a year and go through 1 pencil every 2-3 months with daily use. The shade I use is “Blacquer”. 

9. Bronzer/contour: Baby face? No problem. I love this powder because it looks like a natural shadow on the hollow of your cheekbones. It hurt to take the plunge because the cost seems ridiculous for a powder, but I use this EVERY DAY. I have now had it for a full year and am still not done with it. This powder has a matte finish, with no shimmer. I have never broken out using this, and it does not need to be set to look flawless. My shade is “Medium”. 

10. Blush: The longest lasting blush ever. The shades “Exposed” and “Paaarty” are my ride or die. They are both matte finish, with no shimmer or glitter. This is great for business/interviews. No breakouts on my sensitive skin.

11. Setting powder: My favorite face powder that mattes my skin without being cakey. I have been using this same product since I was 16 years old and have never change it because it’s that good for sensitive skin. Comes with its own puff in the compact. I’m in the shade “01 Stay Buff”.

12. Lipstick: I use this lip crayon in the shade “Calvados”. Perfect “my lips but better” with brown undertone. Creamy, doesn’t dry out your lips, and great for every day wear.

13. Gloss: I live for a glossy lip & my favorites are the one with the mint-like sensation. I love this gloss because it has a gorgeous rose undertone that is almost angelic. It also claims to have lip plumping properties, and although I don’t need more lip plumping, it may interest those who look for that in a product. It is sticky & not very long lasting, though, so I would not recommend for outside events. I use for special events & going out with friends because I love the color so much (Rosy Glow).

14. The only face brush I use: This dual-ended face brush is my favorite brush of all time. I love dual-ended brushes because I am so lazy and refuse to carry more than 2-3 brushes in order to fit all my makeup in 1 bag. It is on sale now (I bought mine full-priced so this is a steal!). I use 1 end for blush/contour, and the other end to powder. 

15. Finishing powder: By far the most expensive makeup product I own and I value it greatly. I do not use this everyday, only for photos or special events because it gives you the most beautiful, ethereal “glow from within” look. I don’t use highlighter because it can be overwhelming and can enhance texture, but I love these powders in particular to give you a next-level, natural and appropriate glow. 

16. Setting spray: My security blanket! I sometimes also get their matte-ifying version but to me, they’re both really similar. Will lock in your make-up for hours. I buy the full size to use on the regular, but loved the travel sizes to bring with me while interviewing/TSA compliance.

17. Makeup remover: Finally, to take it all off, I love this makeup remover. I loved it so much I even brought it with me during traveling. After a full day of make-up, I noticed my wipes and cleanser weren’t taking off the residue, causing me to breakout. I like this model because it doesn’t break the bank like their other versions. One charge can last me 2-3 weeks. 

Hope that was helpful! If you are interested in my skincare regimen, I am also happy to share in the near future. My skincare is incredibly affordable (90% of it is drug-store) and simple with few steps. 

xx Anh

[lovemesomesurveys]

January (Month Survey #1)

Warning: These surveys are long. Take at your own risk.

National Days

Jan 1. National Hangover Day: What’s the worst hangover that you’ve ever had? The one after the last night I ever drank. That night was horrible. I got so sick and it was embarrassing and ugh it just ended up ruining the rest of the night. I still trip out because I honestly don’t recall drinking that much, but I got really drunk. I guess the drinking games made me lose track or something. Thank goodness for my best friend at the time who took care of me. I couldn’t really sleep that night cause I got sick a few times and just felt like shit and the rest of the day I just did absolutely nothing. I didn’t even want to look at alcohol for awhile.

National Bloody Mary Day: Do you believe in the Bloody Mary folklore? No, but I still don’t mess around with that kind of stuff.

Euro Day: Do you have any Euros? No.

National Black Eyed Peas Day: Do you like listening to the Black Eyed Peas? How about eating them? The group was cool, I liked a few of their songs. I’ve never had actual black eyed peas.

Apple Gifting Day: What’s your favorite type of apple – red, yellow, or green? I’m not an apple gal. Well, when it comes to the fruit. I love Apple products haha.

New Year’s Day: How did you celebrate New Year’s? My mom had to work until 11PM and my brother was at a friend’s house and was spending the night, so it was just my dad and I. We got takeout and watched the New Year’s Eve shows, but he ended up falling asleep a couple hours before midnight. My mom got home just in time to watch some of the New Year’s Eve shows before midnight and then we watched the ball drop, so at least I wasn’t alone. My dad slept right through it lol. It was a very chill night.

Jan 2. National Buffet Day: Where’s the best buffet in your area? The only buffet I liked was Mongolian BBQ. You put your noodles, meats, veggies, toppings, and sauces yourself and then they cooked it right in front of you on a big, round, super hot grill, so I felt comfortable consuming it. Other buffets where the food is brought out for everyone to have access to... yeah, no thanks. 

World Introvert Day: Are you more of an introvert or an extrovert? Oh, I’m an introvert all the way.

Swiss Cheese Day: What meat do you typically eat Swiss cheese with? Ya know, I don’t think I’ve ever had Swiss cheese. 

National Cream Puff Day: Do you like cream puffs? Have you ever made them before? Yeah, they’re good. I’ve never made them, I just bought them from the frozen food section at the store lol.

Run Up the Flagpole and See if Anyone Salutes Day: Have you ever tried to climb a flagpole before? No. I couldn’t do that even if for some reason I wanted to.

National Personal Trainer Awareness Day: Do you have a personal trainer? Nope.

National Science Fiction Day: What’s the last science-fiction novel you’ve read? The Hunger Games series several years ago.

Happy Mew Year For Cats Day: Do you prefer cats or dogs? Why? I’m a dog person, personally. I’ve always had dogs and I just vibe more with them. Mine have all been so loving and sweet and silly and pure.

National Pet Travel Safety Day: Does your pet do well during car rides, or do they hate it? She doesn’t like them. 

Jan 3. National Drinking Straw Day: Do you use drinking straws at home, or only out at restaurants? I use a straw with everything I drink.

Festival of Sleep Day: Do you enjoy sleeping, or do you spend most of your time awake? I love sleeping.

Humiliation Day: When’s the last time you were humiliated? Why? Let’s not get into that.

National Chocolate-Covered Cherry Day: Do you prefer chocolate-covered cherries or chocolate-covered strawberries more? Strawberries. 

National Fruitcake Toss Day: Do you like fruitcake? No. It just doesn’t even look appealing to me.

J.R.R. Tolkien Day: Have you read the Lord of the Rings series? What did you think of it? Nope. I’ve never seen the movies, ether. Just wasn’t of any interest to me.

Jan 4. National Missouri Day: Do you know anyone who comes from Missouri? Well, not from there, but my dad lived there growing up and I have family out there now.

National Spaghetti Day: Is spaghetti one of your favorite Italian dishes? Yessss. Spaghetti and meatballs, specifically. 

National Trivia Day: Do you enjoy playing trivia games? Any in particular? Yeah, those like Trivial Pursuit and Scene It.

World Braille Day: Do you know anyone who can read Braille? No.

World Hypnotism Day: Have you ever felt hypnotized before? Can you describe it? No. 

Jan 5. National Screenwriters Day: Have you ever written a play or some other sort of script before? Nope. I’ve written short stories and fan fiction, though.

National Whipped Cream Day: Have you ever used whipped cream for sexual purposes? Nope.

National Keto Day: Do you or anyone you know follow a ketogenic diet? Not that I know of.

National Bird Day: What’s your favorite type of bird? Hummingbirds are neat.

Jan 6. National Thank God It’s Monday Day: Do you actually prefer Mondays to Fridays? Why or why not? The days are all the same to me now, but back when I was in school I always dreaded Mondays.

The Epiphany (Three Kings Day): Do you celebrate this holiday? No. I had to Google that because I had never heard of it before.

National Bean Day: What’s your favorite type of bean? (ie: baked, lima, green, etc) Refried beans.

National Technology Day: What’s your favorite piece of technology that you own? My laptop and phone.

National Shortbread Day: Have you ever eaten those Trefoil  Girl Scout shortbread cookies? Yep. I love shortbread cookies.

National Cuddle Up Day: Who’s the best cuddler you know? My doggo. 

Jan 7. National Bobblehead Day: Do you own any bobbleheads? Of who? I have a Chewbacca one.

National Tempura Day: Have you ever tried tempura before? Did you like it? I’ve had chicken and vegetable tempura, which is really good. 

Old Rock Day: Would you be interested in digging for fossils? Only when playing Animal Crossing: New Horizons haha. That’s part of my character’s daily routine.

Jan 8. National Argyle Day: Do you own any clothing with argyle print? Nope.

National Bubble Bath Day: When’s the last time you took a bubble bath? When I was a kid.

Male Watcher’s Day: Do you like to people-watch? It can be interesting. 

National Take the Stairs Day: Do you prefer the stairs or the elevator? I can only take the elevator.

National English Toffee Day: Do you enjoy eating toffee? I’ve had more toffee flavored things than actual toffee, but yeah.

Elvis Presley’s Birthday: What is your favorite Elvis Presley song? Can’t Help Falling in Love.

National Joygerm Day: How do you treat people with kindness? Do you typically have a positive attitude about things? I try to be understanding and openminded, I try to be a good listener, I don’t put people down or belittle others, I try not to be rude or impolite, and I try to help if I can. I don’t have a positive outlook when it comes to myself, but I can for others. We could even have the same issue and I’ll be able to see it differently for them than I do for myself. I’m forgiving when it comes to others and I’ll see the good in them, truly believing it, but I beat myself up all the time. 

National Winter Skin Relief Day: What do you treat your skin/lips with, when they are chapped? Ugh, I have that issue in the summer as well it’s so annoying. Anyway, I just use lotion and chapstick. I don’t use it as often as I should, though, for some reason. It would definitely help. I should also use a face moisturizer. 

Jan 9. National Apricot Day: Do you prefer apricots dried, in fresh fruit form, or the canned version? I don’t like apricots at all.

National Law Enforcement Appreciation Day: Do you have issues with people of authority? I have an issue with the bad ones who abuse their power.

National Static Electricity Day: When’s the last time your hair succumbed to static electricity? Hmm. I don’t recall. I remember doing that with a balloon when I was a kid, though lol.

National Balloon Ascension Day: Have you ever released balloons purposefully into the air? No, that was so sad whenever it happened. RIP to all the balloons I’ve ever lost. 

Play God Day: What would you do if you were in charge of the entire universe for the day? Noooo way. I will gladly leave that to God.

Jan 10. National Bittersweet Chocolate Day: What’s your favorite type of chocolate? White chocolate.

Save the Eagles Day: What are bald eagles symbolic of? Strength, freedom, bravery.

Peculiar People Day: Who’s the most peculiar person you know? Hmm. I don’t know. I use that word to describe things more often.

National Cut Your Energy Costs Day: What do you do in order to save energy? We wait to run the dishwasher and washer and dryer until after a certain time. I think it’s after 7PM.

National Oysters Rockefeller Day: Have you ever had baked oysters before? Did you like them? Nah, I’m good.

National Houseplant Appreciation Day: Do you have any indoor plants? How about outdoor plants? No indoor ones, but my mom has a couple outside.

Jan 11. National Arkansas Day: Have you ever been to Arkansas before? Nope.

Learn Your Name in Morse Code Day: Do you know how to use Morse code? No.

National Human Trafficking Awareness Day: Do you know anyone who’s been a victim of human trafficking?   Nooo. I can’t believe that goes on, horrific doesn’t even begin to describe it.

National Milk Day: Do you prefer white, chocolate, or strawberry milk? I liked strawberry milk when I was a kid. I could totally go for a strawberry milkshake, though.

National Girl Hug Boy Day: Have you ever been the one to make the first move? No.

National Hot Toddy Day: Have you ever made yourself a hot toddy before? Nope. I’ve never had one.

National Step in a Puddle and Splash Your Friends Day No question for this?

National Vision Board Day: Do you have a vision board? Have you ever made one before? What would be on it? Nope. I have no idea what I would do for one.

Jan 12. National Pharmacist Day: When’s the last time you visited the pharmacist? Uhhh, it’s been a long time. My mom or brother just pick up my medicine for me.

National Sunday Supper Day: Do you have big Sunday dinners with your family? No. 

Feast of Fabulous Wild Men Day: Who’s a fabulous man that you know of? lol what an interesting day. Anyway, hmm. I don’t know.

National Marzipan Day: Do you know what marzipan is? Have you ever made it/had it before? I know what it is, but I don’t think I’ve had it. I definitely have never made it.

National Curried Chicken Day: Do you enjoy curry? Have you ever had it before? I’ve only had it once, but I remember liking it. It’s spicy, right? I can’t have spicy food anymore. :/

National Kiss a Ginger Day: Have you ever dated a redhead before? No.

National Youth Day: Do you know of a child who made a huge difference in society?   I’ve heard stories of kids who have done really awesome things for charity and to help their communities, especially during the pandemic. 

National Glazed Doughnut Day: What’s your favorite type of doughnut? Maple or glazed cake donuts.

Jan 13. National Rubber Ducky Day: When’s the last time you used a rubber ducky in the bathtub? When I was a kid.

Stephen Foster Memorial Day: Do you like any songs by Stephen Foster? I had to Google who that was, and the only song I think I know is Swanee River. 

National Peach Melba Day: Have you ever had a Peach Melba before? How was it? Nope. Had to Google that, too.

Korean American Day: Do you know any Koreans immigrants who now live in America? No.

National Gluten-Free Day: Do you know anyone who has to follow a gluten-free diet? Not personally, but a couple people I watch on YouTube have celiac disease. 

National Sticker Day: Did you like stickers as a kid? I loved stickers. Stickers are still awesome. Although, I never know what to do with them now, ha. I can’t commit to putting them anywhere.

National Clean Off Your Desk Day: Do you have a desk in your room? Is it organized? Nope. My desk is my bed, ha. It has my laptop and some other stuff that a desk would likely have. My bed is where I spend most of my time, so.

International Skeptics Day: Are you skeptical of anything? What? Yeah. Like when reading something online, for example. Or certain news stories.

Make Tour Dream Come True Day: Have any of your dreams actually ever come true before? Uhh well, I’ve had dreams about going to Disneyland and I’ve gone. ha.

Jan 14. National Dress Up Your Pet Day: Have you ever dressed up your pet before? In what? Yeah, she has a few sweaters and Halloween costumes.

National Hot Pastrami Sandwich Day: What’s your favorite kind of sandwich? Deli sandwich with turkey, salami, Monterey Jack cheese, pickles, mayo, mustard, and oil and vinegar spread is my favorite. I’ll have that at home, too, but it always taste best when I get it from somewhere. I like bologna sandwiches as well.

Ratification Day: Do you remember the significance of the Treaty of Paris? Yeah.

International Kite Day: Have you ever flown a kite before? Nope.

National Shop For Travel Day: When’s the last time you went shopping for a vacation? Back in February before our Disneyland trip. I can’t believe we were in lockdown/quarantine about a month later. 

Jan 15. National Booch Day: Do you like the taste of Kombucha? I’ve never tried it and have no interest to. My brother loves it.

National Hat Day: What does your favorite hat look like? It’s rose gold and has a little white Mickey Mouse symbol on it that I got from Disneyland.

National Bagel Day: What kind of bagel do you eat most often? What do you put on it? I haven’t had a bagel in years, but I always just had a regular one with cream cheese. Strawberry cream cheese is really good.

National Strawberry Ice Cream Day: What’s your favorite flavor ice cream? Strawberry.

Museum Selfie Day: When’s the last time you went to a museum? Several years ago.

National Fresh Squeezed Juice Day: Have you ever made your own juice or lemonade before? How was it? Lemonade, yeah. It was good.

Jan 16. National Nothing Day: When’s the last time you did absolutely nothing all day? Everyday?

Appreciate a Dragon Day: Are dragons your favorite mythical creature? Nah, I’d go with fairies. 

National Without a Scalpel Day: Has anyone ever used a scalpel on you before? Yes, for surgical procedures.

Get to Know Your Customers Day: Is the customer really always right? Why or why not? Not always, that’s for sure. I’ve heard a lot of horror stories from people I know who work in retail and yikes. People can be so rude. 

National Religious Freedom Day: Are you a religious person? Yes.

National Fig Newtons Day: When’s the last time you ate a Fig Newton? I’m not exactly sure, but I know it’s been yearssss.

International Hot and Spicy Food Day: What’s the spiciest food you eat? I can’t eat spicy food anymore D: I used to be obSESSED, though. I put hot sauce on just about everything and loved spicy chips and ramen and just everything.

Rid the World of Fad Diets and Gimmicks Day: Have you ever been on a diet before? Did it work? I’ve had to be on high protein and high caloric diets before and I’m supposed to be on one now, but gah. My appetite is a mess and I have other issues that affect my eating and yeah. It’s hard. Jan 17. National Bootlegger’s Day: Do you know anyone who makes bootleg DVD’s? No. I don’t really hear much about that anymore like I did back in the day.

National Hot Heads Chili Day: What do you like to eat in your chili? I can’t eat chili anymore, but back in the day I loved it spicy. 

National Hot Buttered Rum Day: Are you a fan of rum, or do you prefer another type of alcohol? I don’t like any alcohol.

Ben Franklin Day: Name at least one of Ben Franklin’s inventions. The lightning rod.

Michelle Obama’s Birthday: Do you miss when her husband was back in office? I don’t like getting into politics. 

Ditch New Year’s Resolution Day: How long do you keep your New Year’s Resolutions for? Do you even make them in the first place? I stopped making those years ago. 

Jan 18. National Winnie the Pooh Day: Who is your favorite character from Winnie the Pooh? Awww I love Winnie the Pooh, he’s my favorite. I really vibe with Eeyore, too. 

National Michigan Day: Do you live in Michigan? Nope.

National Gourmet Coffee Day: What’s your favorite “specialized” coffee drink? The winter drinks at Starbucks.

National Thesaurus Day: When’s the last time you used a thesaurus? Recently for something, I forget why.

National Peking Duck Day: Have you ever eaten duck before? No.

National Use Your Gift Card Day: Where would you like to get a gift card to? Hmm. BoxLunch would be cool.

Jan 19. World Quark Day: Have you ever heard of quark? Nope. I just Googled it, though. Doesn’t sound appealing.

National  Popcorn Day: What’s your favorite seasoning/flavor of popcorn? Good ol’ movie theater popcorn with salt and lots of butter. I also love this garlic parm seasoning I get at the store.

National Disc Jockey Day: Would you rather have a band or a DJ at your wedding. DJ.

World Religion Day: What is your religion? Do you have one? Christian.

National Tin Can Day: What’s the last can that you recycled? My family and I recycle our cans and plastic bottles. The last can I had was a Starbucks Doubleshot coffee energy drink.

Jan 20. National Cheese Lover’s Day: What’s your favorite kind of cheese? I loveee cheese. Various kinds.

Martin Luther King jr. Day: In what ways was Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. influential? He was a huge influential leader in the civil rights movement and helped spark major changes. He was a very courageous and intelligent man.

National Buttercrunch Day: Have you ever made butter crunch before? Nope.

National Penguin Day: What’s your favorite thing about penguins? Their little waddle and how they mate for life. They’re so cute.

Jan 21. National Hugging Day: Are you a hugger? Not really. Like, I’m not one to initiate a hug. Hugs from certain people are really nice, though.

National Granola Bar Day: Do you eat granola bars? What’s your favorite flavor? I used to all the time. The Quaker Oats chocolate chip, peanut butter, and s’mores ones were my favorite. Sunbelt oats and honey granola bars are really good, too.

Squirrel Appreciation Day: Squirrels or chipmunks? Chipmunks. Aww, this reminds of Ty because he was squirrel and I was giraffe.

International Sweatpants Day: How many pairs of sweatpants do you own? Only 2. I’m a leggings gal, I have a shitload of leggings. I feel like a cartoon character when they show their closest lol.

National Banana Bread Day: Do you prefer your banana bread with or without walnuts? How about chocolate chips? Without walnuts, hands down. SO good. I’ve never tried it with chocolate chips.

National New England Clam Chowder Day: Do you like New England Clam Chowder soup? No.

Jan 22. Celebration of Life Day: Do you believe that abortion should be legal? Why or why not? I don’t like getting into political and touchy topics like this.

National Blonde Brownie Day: What’s your favorite type of brownie? Fudge brownies. Yum.

Library Shelfie  Day: How often do you visit your public library? I haven’t gone since I was in high school, so it’s been over 10 years.

National Southern Food Day: What’s your favorite Southern food/meal? Biscuits and gravy.

National Sanctity of Human Life Day: Do you believe that all humans have some sort of value? Yes?

National Answer Your Cat’s Questions Day: Do you talk to your pets? Of course! All the time.

Hot Sauce Day: How hot do you like your hot sauce? I can only handle a little mild hot sauce now. D: I used to be obsessed with spicy foods and hot sauces back when I could have it.

Jan 23. National Handwriting Day: Do you prefer printing or writing in cursive? Printing. 

World Spay Day: Are all of your pets spayed or neutered? Yes, my doggo is spayed. That was done before we could bring her home from the adoption shelter.

National Pie Day/National Rhubarb Pie Day: What’s your favorite type of pie? Cheesecake. That’s the only kind I like.

Measure Your Feet Day: How big are your feet? I have small feet. I wear a 6 in womens (US). I can wear a 3.5/4 in kid’s, too. That’s the size my Adidas are.

Jan 24. Beer Can Appreciation Day: What’s your favorite type of beer? Ew, none.

National Compliment Day: What’s the last compliment that you’ve received? I don’t even remember, it’s been a long time.

National Peanut Butter Day: What’s your favorite food that involves peanut butter? Reese’s. 

International Day of Education: Why do you feel that education important? There’s a lot of benefits to being educated. It helps you gain knowledge about the world around you, helps you build and form opinions, make better, well-informed decisions on certain things, helps you learn skills that will be beneficial for you... there’s a lot of reasons.

Global Belly Laugh Day: When’s the last time you laughed so hard you cried? It’s been a long time since I’ve had a good laugh like that.

National Eskimo Pie Patent Day: When’s the last time you had an Eskimo Pie? I’ve never had one.

National Lobster Thermidor Day: When’s the last time you ate lobster? I don’t eat lobster. Or any seafood.

Jan 25. National Opposite Day: Have you ever been attracted to someone that was the complete opposite of you? Yes.

Community Manager Appreciation Day: At your workplace, do you have a good manager/boss, or not? Are you your own boss? I don’t have a job.

National Irish Coffee Day: Have you ever had an Irish Coffee before? Nope.

National Seed Swap Day: What’s the last seed you planted? I’ve never planted any seeds.

National Florida Day: Do you know anyone who is from Florida? Not personally, but a few YouTubers I watch are.

Chinese New Year: What is your Chinese animal? (the year of the ___) Snake.

Burns Supper: Favorite poem by Robert Burns? I don’t think I’m familiar with his work.

Jan 26. National Green Juice Day: Do you drink any sort of health drinks? Nope. 

National Peanut Brittle Day: Do you enjoy peanut brittle? Nah, it’s too hard.

National Spouses Day: Do you hope to get married one day? Why or why not? I don’t plan on getting married.

Australia Day: If you were to go to Australia, what would you want to see/do first? I’d probably want to go to Sydney. 

International Customs Day: What do you think of the current level of border security in your area? Uhhh.

World Leprosy Day: Do you know anyone who has leprosy? No.

Jan 27. National Bubble Wrap Day: As an adult, would you still be interested in popping bubble wrap? Um, absolutely! You’re never too old for bubblewrap. 

National Chocolate Cake Day: Do you prefer chocolate cake or another flavor instead? I much prefer white, funfetti, strawberry, or red velevet.

World Breast Pumping Day: If you have a baby, would you breastfeed or formula feed? Why? I’m not having kids.

International Holocaust Remembrance Day: Do you know of any Holocaust survivors? Eli Wiesel, the author of Night, a book about his horrifying experience during the Holocaust and in Nazi concentration camps, came to talk to my sophomore English class.

Wolfgang Mozart’s Birthday: Do you like to listen to Mozart? I have an appreciation for a lot of piano pieces.

Punch the Clock Day: Do you have to punch in and out at work, or do you have a paper time sheet? I don’t have a job.

Jan 28. National Have Fun at Work Day: What is one fun thing about your work?

National Blueberry Pancake Day: Would you rather have blueberry pancakes or chocolate chip pancakes? Blueberry.

Data Privacy Day: Have one of your websites ever been hacked before? Yes, back in the day.

National Daisy Day: Are daisies your favorite flower? No, but they are pretty.

National Lego Day: Do you follow the building instructions if you have a Lego kit, or do you build your own prototype? I haven’t played with Legos since I was a kid, but I just made my own things for the most part. I do remember attempting to make some of the things they showed on the container the Legos came in.

National Kazoo Day: Have you ever played a kazoo before? Nope.

National Plan For Vacation Day: Where would you like to go on vacation? A lot of places. I wish I could just go on a vacation at all right now. :(

Global Community Engagement Day: How do you play a part in your community? Uhhh. I’m not involved in any community things.

Jan 29. National Corn Chip Day: Fritos or Tostitos? Both are good.

National Puzzle Day: How many pieces was the last jigsaw puzzle that you completed? I have no idea, I haven’t done a puzzle since I was a kid. I’ve actually been wanting to do one recently, though.

Jan 30. National Croissant Day: What do you like to put on your croissant? They’re just good on their own.

National Inane Answering Message Day: Do you leave voicemails, or do you hang up and try again later? If I’m calling my doctor I might leave a voicemail, but usually I’ll just try again later. I hate leaving voicemails, though. If I’m calling my parents, I’ll just call again or send them a text.

Jan 31. Inspire Your Heart With Art Day: What form of art would you be most likely to try your hand at? I like to color, but that’s as artsy as it gets for me.

National Backward Day: Can you walk around backwards without tripping over something? Well, I can wheel backwards.

National Hot Chocolate Day: Do you like hot chocolate? Do you prefer a certain flavor? Yes. I just like the regular kind with marshmallows and whipped cream.

National Big Wig Day: What type of job would you like to have that allows you to be in charge? I wouldn’t want to be in charge.

Eat Brussel Sprouts Day: Do you like Brussel sprouts? Nooo.

Brandy Alexander Day: Do you like to drink brandy? Nope. I don’t drink alcohol.

National Weeks

Folic Acid Awareness Week: Do you know anyone with a congenital disability? Yes.

Universal Letter Writing Week: When’s the last time you hand-wrote a letter to someone? I don’t even remember.

Diet Resolution Week: Have you ever gone on a diet before because of someone’s comments about your weight? Yeah, but it was to try and gain weight because I’m too thin. 

National Silent Record Week: Have you ever listened to a silent record before? No.

National Pizza Week: What do you like to eat on your pizza? White sauce, feta and ricotta cheese, spinach, garlic, crumbled meatballs, and pesto drizzled on top.

Home Office Safety and Security Week: Does your home have a security system? Yes.

Cuckoo Dancing Week: Do you like to dance? Sure. Well, by dance I mean head bobbing and maybe moving my arms and shoulders a bit. Oh, and sad attempts at TikTok dances haha.

World Kiwanis Week: Do you know what the Kiwani’s Club revolves around? No.

National Mocktail Week: What’s your favorite mocktail? When I was a kid I liked virgin strawberry margaritas. This one restaurant my family and I often went to had them for kids and they were so good.

Hunt For Happiness Week: Where do you find your happiness? At the beach watching the waves crash in and out, smelling the ocean air, and feeling that nice, cool breeze. I just get lost in it and it’s really relaxing.

National Healthy Weight Week: Do you feel that you are a healthy weight? Why or why not? No, I’m not. I’m underweight.

International Snowmobile Safety & Awareness Week: Have you ever ridden on a snowmobile before? Nope.

No Name-Calling Week: What’s the worst name you’ve ever been called? Who knows what people have said or thought about me that I’m not aware of, nor do I want to know, but the only things I know of are the things I’ve said and think about myself. I’m my own worst enemy.

International Hoof Care Week: Do you like any animals that have hooves? Giraffes. <3

National Catholic Schools Week: Did you ever go to a Catholic school before? No.

National CRNA Week: Have you ever been put under anesthesia before? How were you when you came out of it? Yeah, several times. I always felt sick, groggy, and really cold afterwards.

Meat Week: What’s your favorite type of meat? Or are you a vegetarian/vegan? Chicken.

National School Choice Week: Would you have preferred to be in a public school, a private school, or to be homeschooled? I was fine with public school.

National Cowboy Poetry Gathering Week: Do you know anyone who is a cowboy? Nope.

National Months

National Hot Tea Month: What’s your favorite flavor tea? Chamomile, peppermint, and spearmint.

National Oatmeal Month: What’s your favorite flavor of oatmeal? I like regular oatmeal with condensed milk, brown sugar, and cinnamon. 

National Slow Cooking Month: Do you have a crock-pot? Well, my mom does, but yeah.

National Soup Month: What’s your favorite kind of soup? I’m a ramen gal.

National Baking Month: What’s your favorite thing to bake? If I bake it’s going to be cupcakes or muffins. It’s been awhile since I’ve baked anything, though.

National Fat Free Living Month: Do you eat foods that are fat-free? How about drinks? Not usually.

National Bath Safety Month: Do you prefer baths or showers? Showers. I have’t taken a bath since I was a kid.

National Blood Donor Month: Have you ever donated blood? When was the last time? No.

National Hobby Month: Do you have any hobbies? Doing surveys, reading, and coloring. 

National Train Your Dog Month: Is your dog well-trained? Yeah.

Walk Your Pet Month:  How often do you walk your dog, if you have one? I can’t do that, but my dad or brother take her.

National CBD Month: Have you ever used CBD oil? Nope.

National Black Diamond Month: Do you own anything with diamonds – black or regular? No.

National Mentoring Month: Have you ever had a mentor before? No.

National Menudo Month: Have you ever had menudo before? Nope. It doesn’t sound appealing to me.

[a-zebra-is-a-striped-horse]

[technoplaguearchive]

Cruel To Be Kind (4/4)

If he had been asked, Bakugou didn't think he would have ever been able to predict the awkward fucking day he was about to have. But one ruined pastry later and his life goes in a very different direction, one he finds that isn't wholly unpleasant.

Pairing: MidoriyaxBakugou / BakuDeku Rating: Teen & Up Category: M/M Fandom: My Hero Academia | Boku No Hero Academia Originally Published: April 16, 2019 on AO3 Chapter: 4 of 4

Previous

No.

Had he really just said no? To the man he’d been in love with for years? No?!

Oh fuck Mina’s right, I’m a psychopath, he thinks derisively.

When he sneaks a peek at Midoriya’s face out of his peripheral, the nerd looks stricken and pale. Any other day that might have been funny but in this context it’s just awful. The green haired man’s eyes have gone wide and he’s staring at Bakugou in open surprise. Bakugou is honestly surprised that he hasn’t seen any kind of pain set in yet, right now it’s just shock.

He watches his mouth open and close several times before Midoriya finally settles on closed and then turns away. His profile is that of a defeated man and Bakugou hates himself for it. He’s the cause of this hero, his hero, looking like the world is ending and there’s nothing that can be done to save it.

“Fuucckkkk.” He drags his hands over his face after setting his food down and falls back into the comfort of the couch. He’s half-tempted to blow something up to run off some frustration but this is not the time- and everything that could be blown up has been before or it got moved specifically so he wouldn’t while he was gaming or something. Kirishima has actually been the one to suggest moving everything away from the couch after a really intense gaming session where he’d singed several pillows and blown up two good tea mugs. He’d actually been a little upset about the mugs but Kirishima had come through and replaced them.... well, he’d replaced one and after he relayed the “hilarious” story to everyone, Midoriya had actually found a replica of the other and given it to Kirishima to give to Bakugou. The stupid nerd had known it was Bakugou’s favorite mug and had taken it upon himself to fucking replace it when it was Bakugou’s own stupidity that had broken it.

A puff of sound beside him reminds him that Midoriya is beside him. He turns his head to finally get a good look at the man and wishes he hadn’t; Midoriya is smiling that weak ass smile he used to get back in high school when shit was bad and he hadn’t mastered the “it’s all right” grin yet. Bakugou feels his insides twist and he pitches forward to shove his head between his knees, instead knocking his forehead on the table and reeling backwards from the pain with a scream.

Midoriya is quick to action, leaping the space between them and landing astride Bakugou to inspect his forehead. Bakugou, romantically inept cur that he is, panics and shoves Midoriya backwards off of him. What happens next is Midoriya sitting squarely on the cream cheese pastry and spilling Bakugou’s coffee everywhere. In response to this, Bakugou can only stare with fingers pressed to his forehead and a shocked expression.

He was so fucking stupid.

Midoriya’s lower lip trembles and he makes no effort to move from his pastry-laden spot, instead those big green eyes starting to water and those perfectly freckles cheeks mottling with embarrassment. Bakugou can only stare at watch the whole fiasco unfold. What could he possibly do to salvage this? Midoriya only wanted to talk and Bakugou has instead catapulted him onto the table like some kind of freak.

The men spend several minutes staring at each other, cheeks red, before they look away and anywhere but at each other. Finally, tentatively, the blonde reaches a hang out shakily and casts a glance to Midoriya sideways. The pain on the nerd’s face is too much to look at directly and the pain in his chest at being the cause is almost too much to bear.

“ ‘m sorry I shoved you. Panicked,” he rubs the back of his neck with his free hand then looks directly at Midoriya’s heartbroken face, “Just hungover still, is all. Sudden touch is too much right now.” The realization settling over Deku’s face is like the dawn breaking and Bakugou feels himself smirk ever so slightly.

Midoriya takes the offered hand and pulls himself up, letting go almost immediately to try and assess the damage sitting on a once delicious pastry has done to his shorts. His face breaks again into disappointment and he groans. Bakugou laughs only slightly, clamming up when Midoriya shoots him a glare and raising his hands in a small surrender. “I just bought these shorts,” the green haired man laments in a voice just short of crying.

In one fluid motion Bakugou stands and gestures for Midoriya to follow him as he strides back towards his room. He only assumes he’s being followed if the startled “yes’sir” is anything to go by. He may not have any shorts that’ll fit, fucking nerd was built like a house, but a good pair of sweats or gym shorts should work.

Now that he’s showered he feels a little less like crap and can finally take stock of the situation his bedroom is in; several pairs of clothes are strewn everywhere. He can only assume in an attempt the get pajamas last night he’d thrown everything around... however that doesn’t explain the underwear on his pillow. He hadn’t noticed them this morning and he’d slept next to them. Gross.

Midoriya seems to find it all amusing though and is giggling as Bakugou scoops all the clothes up and deposits them in a hamper in the corner. “Shut up, nerd,” he growls menacingly. Midoriya only laughs more.

With an exaggerated eye roll Bakugou grabs a pair of gym shorts from a drawer and all but throws them into the other man’s chest. “Fucking change, you’re not sitting on my couch with your cream cheese ass.” At the look of barely constrained amusement from Midoriya, Bakugou let’s little explosions pop in his hands. “Change your fucking clothes or I’ll change them for you, nerd.”

This seems to work in getting Midoriya to take him seriously and he watches him scramble towards the bathroom to change shorts. Idiot.

When it seems to be taking a longer time than anticipated, Bakugou raps his knuckles on the door and calls out, “You need me to come in there, Deku? It’s just a pair of shorts, I can’t imagine you’re having issues with such a simple thing.”

The sound of things clattering to the floor is his answer and he doesn’t wait before slamming the door open to be greater with an unexpected sight; Midoriya is sitting on the counter in his underwear with various bathroom products scattered about him. His own shorts are on the floor and the loaned gym shorts are clutched in his hands.

Bakugou can’t be held responsible for his next actions, any reasonable person would have done the same. Or so he tells himself afterwards.

The next few minutes seem to pass in a blur of consciousness for the blonde. He vaults over the cargo shorts on the floor to scoop Midoriya into his arms, despite the man’s protestations, and carries him out of the bathroom. Midoriya is flailing and stuttering the entire time, right up until Bakugou dumps him on the bed on his ass and starts wrestling the shorts from his grip. In his panic at being caught Midoriya’s fingers have tightened on the shorts and he flat out refuses to loosen his grip. The litany of “Kacchan what are you doing” and “Kacchan, what the hell” is incessant and only stops when Midoriya finally relinquishes the shorts because Bakugou is all but crawling on top of him. Bakugou lets out a triumphant “Ha! Damn right, nerd” and waves the shorts in the air before he jumps off and turns to face the red-faced man sitting on his bed. In the back of his mind all he can focus on is Midoriya shyly sitting on his bed, scarred fingers clutching the wrinkled blanket and cheeks a crimson they rivaled Kirishima’s hair. How has Bakugou never noticed how well shaped Midoriya’s legs are? They’re all muscle and it’s a surprise he’s not salivating. He’s always been a sucker for a nice pair of legs and fuck does Izuku have a gorgeous pair. He can just imagine grabbing a hold of them and feeling those muscles under his fingers...even his teeth and lips.

But there was a bigger problem to address and he needed to get ahold of himself; no shorts.

So Bakugou drops to his knees and before Midoriya can process what’s happening Bakugou is sliding the shorts over his legs and pushing him backwards into the bed to finish pulling them up. When he seems to finally register what’s going on Midoriya panics and flails our, clocking Bakugou right in the side of the head with a, thankfully unpowered, fist.

This is what finally knocks Bakugou to his senses. Well, that and the sudden blossoming need to puke. He falls backwards onto his ass, straight on the floor, and stares as Midoriya sits up in all his flushed glory.

“Ka-Kacchan?”

Bakugou stays stock still with wide eyes. He’s barely even registered he was punched, his brain is now deciding to play back with frustrating high definition what he had just done.

Midoriya is suddenly kneeling in front of him, shorts in place. (When had he done that?) One Of those scarred hands reaches out slowly, presumably to cup his face if the hand gesture is any indication. “Kacchan? I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hit you! Let me check and see if you’re okay.” His fingers barely make contact when Bakugou ruins everything again.

“Oh fuck.”

There’s the vomit. Finally. He all but shoves Midoriya into the bed and scrabbles like a deranged crab towards the bathroom. He slips briefly on the discarded shorts and curses their existence before making it to the toilet to dry heave the barely existent contents of his stomach into the bowl.

Agony.

Red blossoms behind his closed eyelids like droplets of blood. He hopes faintly it’s not blood, even though blood would make no sense.

How the fuck do people enjoy drinking if this is what it’s like? Holy shit this is truly awful! Does Mina have to do this every time she drinks? That’s gotta he really unattractive to any guy she brings home. And what about Kirishima? Ugh. No way shark-teeth would ever get a kiss if this was what happened when he went out! Gross! Who honestly thought drinking was fun if this happened! Maybe Pinky was right this morning and there was a problem. This kind of drinking had to stop, can’t always drink away your stress-

“You’ve thought about kissing Kirishima?”

Of course! Who hasn’t thought about kissing Kirishima? What with those weird teeth and those big dumb adorable eyes and he pouts really cute.

“I mean, I guess Kirishima is kind of cute. You guys would be really cute together.”

Gross, no. Kirishima isn’t his type.

“You just said he was cute.”

“I definitely did not.”

A gentle hand lands on his shoulder and jolts him back into his body. He turns to find a pair of soft, worried green eyes staring at him. The smile on his lips doesn’t quite meet his eyes and Bakugou is confused. “You definitely did, Kacchan. You were mumbling between trying to...puke.” He lets out a sad little laugh.

Bakugou screws his eyes shut and melts backwards into the warm body behind him. “I did no such thing, nerd. You can’t prove shit.”

This gets a genuine giggle from Midoriya and it goes a little towards easing him. “I’m really sorry for punching you, Kacchan. I think I may have hit you too hard and you’re in love with Kirishima now.”

Bakugou mimes vomiting and is promptly dropped onto his back so his recliner can avoid being puked on. “Not in love with Kirishima,” he mumbles from his spot on the floor, eyes still shut against the bright lights in his bathroom, “never Kirishima. Don’t like red heads. His legs are too bulky anyways.”

“I think you’re still drunk.”

Bakugou slaps away the hands trying to lift him by his armpits. “Hungover as fuck. Who let me drink this much last night?” The question is mostly rhetoric... mostly. He does kind of want to know why Kirishima didn’t knock his ass out.

The hands are more insistent this time and he’s hauled to his feet rather reluctantly and only after complaining that the floor was colder. With help he half walks to the bed and flops down onto his back, reminiscent of awful his awakening this morning. Midoriya plunks down on the other side of the bed and keeps quiet. Bakugou cracks his eyes open to see what the nerd is on about and sees him just staring with a small smile. “What, asshole?”

“You’re kind of funny when you’re hungover.” He shrugs and then toys with the hem of his shirt. “You’re a dick when you drink but you’re funny when you’re hungover. I wish you wouldn’t drink so much though,” he whispers the last words as he looks up to meet Bakugou’s red gaze.

Unable to stand the guilt Bakugou looks away. “Tch. Not drinking this much ever again.” He swivels his head back, slowly, to peg Midoriya with a hard stare. “And I’m not a dick when I drink.”

“You actually kind of are?”

“Why would you think that?”

Midoriya lets out a huff of breath and shuts his eyes tightly, like he’s bracing for some huge impact or to get screamed at. Which, depending on what he said, the latter might happen, hangover be damned.

“You yelled at me a lot last night. And you tried to fight me.” He opens his eyes to see Bakugou’s placidly watching him, waiting. When the blonde nods for him to continue Midoriya answers with his own small nod. “We haven’t fought since we were kids, Kacchan. You were really mean last night. I only wanted to help.”

“Spit it out, nerd. What did I do? PinkyPie said I fucked up.” Midoriya nods again and Bakugou growls. Of course he’d fucked up. “Something about love confessions.”

Midoriya’s wince is all the confirmation he needs. “You got really mad at me. I wanted to apologize. I know you don’t feel that way about me and I shouldn’t have brought it up, especially when you were drinking and not in the best state of mind. It was clear all night you didn’t want to be around me but I pushed, and I’m sorry. I kept following you like we were kids again.”

Both men laugh at this. “Not mad about the confession.” He looks back over to see Midoriya staring at his lap so he reaches out and slaps the back of his fingers against the nerd’s knee. “Hey, look at me.” Midoriya grants the request and looks up under his lashes. “Fuck do you even know how stupidly attractive you are when you do that? Fucking quit” he growls as he slaps his hand harder against his knee.

“Ow! That really hurts!”

“No it doesn’t, asshole.”

“You’re being so mean, Kacchan. You must be feeling better if you’re being this mean.” Despite his words there’s a small smile tugging at Midoriya’s lips and Bakugou sighs at the sight. The nerd really was cute. “You aren’t mad that I confessed?”

“Seriously that’s what you fucking took from that? God you’re dense as fuck.” He rolls over onto his stomach and scoops Midoriya down to him with an arm around the man’s waist. The squeak he gets from it is adorable, like a fucking excited puppy. Midoriya uncharacteristically stays in Bakugou’s grip, but stays tense under the arm. Taking this as a good sign Bakugou continues. “I’m not mad about the confession, dipshit. I’m mad at the how. And I called you attractive and you completely skipped over it in favor of hearing I wasn’t mad about your shitty ass love confession.”

“It’s not nice to say someone’s love confession is shitty!”

Bakugou pushes him away and rolls to sit up with a half-hearted glare. “Well it was. That is honestly the worst way to confess! How do you expect someone to reciprocate if you think telling them you love them in a back alley is okay?”

“How would you do it, then? It wasn’t exactly planned! Not like it matters, you said no twice now and you’re being really scarily calm about it.” Midoriya doesn’t seem offended or scared anymore, but he’s not entirely at ease in Bakugou’s presence.

Bakugou shoots him a smirk, eyes twinkling with mischief despite their tiredness. “Nah, I ain’t gonna tell ya. You don’t deserve to know. You’re not smooth enough to pull it off anyways.”

The pillow that hits the back of his head is unexpected and he turns startled eyes to Midoriya who still had the pillow clutched in his hands and an enthusiastic smile on his perfectly kissable lips. “You’re a bully, Katsuki.”

Bakugou Rios the pillow from his hands and throws it back at his face with a laugh. “Damn straight, idiot. Now let’s go back to our coffee, my mouth tastes like shit.”

“Good thing I’m not allowed to kiss you, I’d hate to taste that.”

The unexpected words cause Bakugou to stutter-step as he’s climbing off the bed and he almost faceplants.

“HAAAAA?”

Midoriya tosses him a sly smirk on his way past into the main area. “Kirishima probably wouldn’t mind though.”

Bakugou watches the nerd walk, no- fucking sashay, back to the couch without moving. That cheeky little shithead...he’s actually kind of more in love with him for it. “Oh you’re so in for it, Izuku Midoriya. I’ll show you who wouldn’t mind it” he mutters to himself as he moves to rejoin him on the couch and resume the free, and probably cold by now, coffee.

The next few months pass by too fast for Bakugou’s liking. He’s so occupied on trying to dial back his drinking that he doesn’t even notice the city getting colder. All in all, he’s done really well. He hates to lose, after all, and this is just another type of competition. He’s managed to get it down to drinking once a week, and he’s made a deal with himself that he won’t even do that if someone comes over. He’s trying to be better. The BakuSquad has started randomly showing up on his time off if it coincides with theirs, and it’s kept him alcohol-free for quite a few nights. It doesn’t always work but it helps.

Mina attributes the ‘easiness’ of his quitting from him not really being addicted, but Kirishima seems proud of him all the same. And Bakugou can’t stand making that idiot sad so he keeps trying. When he proudly proclaimed to Kirishima one night that despite having the day off and no one coming over he hadn’t drank, Kirishima had kissed him. And Bakugou hasn’t really minded, but they both knew it wasn’t right. So Bakugou had tactlessly said the teeth weren’t as bad as he imagined and dove in for one more kiss. The night ended with both men deciding they wouldn’t work out, and Kirishima trying to psyche Bakugou up to confess to Midoriya. Bakugou’s response had been to tell him he’d only do that when Kirishima stopped crushing on him. That was how he found out Kirishima had been thinking about asking out someone he worked out with, and he couldn’t have been happier for his friend. But of course he wouldn’t tell him that, so it was a shoulder bump and an “About fucking time, shitty hair.”

And so the months passed in more or less the same fashion. He kept busy at work and if he was stressed too much he called Ashido. He took her up on the offer of listening if it was needed. And more than once she stuck her pink fucking nose in his business and asked how it was going with Midoriya. Every time he shot her down and told her to shut the fuck up if she knew what was good for her. Turns out she did, in fact, know what was good for her after the tenth threat to her life.

Speaking of the nerd, he learned to ease up...some. He wouldn’t fully ease up until he confessed himself and got a yes. On the chance Midoriya turned him down, he didn’t want to admit to being a lovesick fool. It was easier to pretend nothing existed than to be a mopey imbecile. He could be normal angry Bakugou if it didn’t work out and no one would be any the wiser.

But it was time to finally admit he needed to do something about this. His time with Midoriya was getting harder to stand. There was only so many times he could shrug off a touch that lasted a bit too long or a stare that lingered. He had a suspicion Midoriya was catching on but Kirishima assured him that the nerd still firmly believed Bakugou was not interested and was just behaving weirdly because he wasn’t drinking as much.

Idiot.

When snow finally came to visit their city he couldn’t put it off anymore. The time to tell Midoriya was now or he risked losing him forever. He couldn’t stand seeing the man’s face in magazines with the words “hottest bachelor” stamped across the pages. Those dweebs didn’t even know Deku, not like Bakugou did. And he’d fucking show them. Deku wasn’t a bachelor, oh no. He just didn’t know he belonged to Bakugou...yet. But that was going to change. Tonight.

Midoriya usually got home around 8pm if his texts from the last week were anything to go by. It was 7 now, which gave him an hour to get flowers and candy and half an hour to obsessively rehearse his speech. Half past 8 seemed a good enough time to show up, it gave Midoriya enough time to settle in from work. Fuck he hoped the nerd wasn’t in the shower when he showed up. No, scratch that, he could be in the shower but only if he invited Bakugou to join him and-

“Fuuuccckkkk.”

He bangs his head on the metal pole beside him on the train. He was getting so off topic thinking about a naked and wet Deku. Mentally he shakes himself and chastises that he needs to get back on task, stay focused.

The flowers were easy, he could grab some of those funky colored carnations he saw online. People dyed them all kinds of crazy colors and he had a feeling Midoriya would like them. Orange and green, that’s what he wanted. He would mimic their hero suits and make the damn nerd swoon from his attention to detail. Deku was always into sappy shit like that.

The candy, well... that one might be harder. Deku loved chocolates but there was one brand that he had once threatened to dismember Bakugou over if he ate them all. It stuck in his head only because he couldn’t remember the little jackass ever threatening to rip his arms off before. Ochako has laughed like it was the funniest thing she’d ever heard and when Bakugou aimed a rather large explosion her way Midoriya had chucked him across the street like he was a rag doll. Needless to say, he was never forgetting that fucking candy.

8pm on the dot his phone vibrates with a message from Deku.

DEKU: just got home. Have a good night! Let me know if you need to talk and I can come over or call

Bakugou huffs out a small laugh at how predictable his little nerd is. No, not his yet. But tonight he will be. This thought makes him smile as he finally strides into the complex Deku lives in. Okay, so half an hour to stand out here like a creep and practice what he wants to say. He could totally do this.

“Deku- no, shit. Can’t call him that for this. Gotta do this right!” He slaps his cheeks with a growl and mentally starts over. Just then his phone buzzes again and he sees messages roll in from the group chat.

RIOT: good luck tonight! Zappy-Boy: you got this, man! SeroIsBadAtNames: go get em! AlienQueen: don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, sweetie <3

Of course Ashido would be weird. He types out a response with a smile.

Blasty: you do everything, and everyone AlienQueen: how rude AlienQueen: but seriously, good luck Katsuki Blasty: thanks, idiots Blasty: if I don’t respond...idk. It could have gone either way RIOT: he loves you, shut up. You got this!

Of course Kirishima was super excited about this. That man had become his number one supporter since they’re little rendezvous.

He silenced the device and slides it into his pocket. No more distractions. He starts psyching himself up again.

“Izuku. I know we haven’t always gotten along-“

“You’re right, we haven’t.”

A shock jolts up Bakugou’s spine at the voice. That voice. Slowly he turns his head and gets an eyeful of Deku bashfully standing at the base of the stairs, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Deku, you damn nerd! I’ll kill you!” Honestly who could blame him? The nerd had snuck up on him! “Who do you think you are, sneaking up on me?”

Deku giggles and Bakugou feels his heart soar at the sound. He would kill to hear that for the rest of his life. “I didn’t think it was sneaking, Kacchan. You’re standing in my parking lot like a creep.” At Bakugou’s scowl he offers a huge grin. Then, noticing Bakugou trying to hide things on the ground, he tries peeking around. “Whatcha hiding?”

“N-nothing! Back off,” he shouts. He can feel the sparks in his hands and quickly closes them to smother any explosions.

His stutter and evasiveness only seems to pique Midoriya’s interest and he skips, actually skips, the distance between them to stand almost nose to nose with his visitor. “You’re hiding something, Kat-su-ki.” He pops each syllable of his name and smirks at seeing the blush rise on Bakugou’s neck.

Bakugou pushes at Midoriya’s chest to no avail and the green haired man just laughs. “I’m glad you came to see me. Why don’t you come on up and ai’ll order us a pizza.” Without waiting for an answer Midoriya spins on a heel and starts off back towards his apartment. When he reaches the stairs and Bakugou still hasn’t joined him he calls back, “I’ll go up first and leave you to gather whatever you’re hiding. I’m assuming it’s for me if you were hiding it from me,” he grins, “That’s cute.”

Oh there was no way the nerd didn’t know Bakugou was in love with him.

Quickly he scoops up the gifts and darts off after Midoriya. The apartment’s front room is as he remembers it; sparse living room decorated in blues and yellows and reds. Still obsessed with All Might. He laughs a little and looks over to see Midoriya putzing around the kitchen, presumably looking for a pizza menu. “Usual for me, you know what I like” he calls out. Midoriya nods without looking back and dances a little when he finally finds the menu. Adorable idiot.

Figuring this is his best chance Bakugou deposits the gifts on the small table. Midoriya would see them, sure, but maybe he could knock this out before food was delivered. He didn’t have a speech yet but he could do this, he’d wing it. He can hear the call ending in the kitchen so he prepares himself, standing beside the table so everything was in view.

Midoriya’s face as he turns the corner and sees the display sours Bakugou’s mood instantly, however. Instead of awed, the nerd looks confused and keeps glancing between the gifts and Bakugou like he’s not sure who anyone is or what flowers are. Maybe he should have been holding the flowers? Shit. Quickly he picks them up and crosses the room to stand before the other man. Midoriya looks slightly taken aback and backs up, Bakugou trailing him until he’s flush against a wall with the blonde looming over him. “Kacchan? What’s going on?”

Bakugou groans and rolls his eyes and shoves the flowers against his chest. “I had this all planned out, shitty Deku. Of course you’d ruin it.” He waist until Deku accepts the colorful carnations then stuffs his hands in his pockets. “They’re for you. The chocolates too. They’re the ones you like so much.”

Midoriya peers around Bakugou with wide eyes. When he alights in the chocolates he darts past the blonde to get to the table. Immediately he drops to his knees and touches the box reverently, acting like he’s not sure it’s real. A little hurt at being abandoned over candy, Bakugou turns to give him an earful but one look at those tear filled eyes has him swallowing his words. Midoriya looks so happy.

“Kacchan. You got all this for me” he chokes it, words caught between sobs.

Bakugou nods and sits beside the other man on the floor. He needed to do this now before they got derailed or Midoriya got the wrong idea.

“Why would you get me these things? I mean, it’s really nice of you but you’ve never done this befo-“ Bakugou places his palm over Midoriya’s babbling mouth, effectively cutting him off, smiling at the wide eyes and the red growing on the other man’s face.

“Let me say what I need to say, and then I’ll let you babble away for the rest of the night. Nod if you understand.” Midoriya nods eagerly behind Bakugou’s hand and he grins. “Good boy.” Midoriya blushes even more at the praise, so Bakugou files the knowledge away for later.

He clears his throat and grabs one of Midoriya’s scarred hands in his own. The shock from the other man almost has them pulling apart but Bakugou holds on tighter. “Izuku, I know we haven’t always gotten along. We grew up together and I made your life a living hell. I thrived on it, even. But I watched you grow with jealousy. I think that was why I was so hard on you. Even quirkless you were a better hero than I could be. And then you got a quirk and suddenly I couldn’t keep up. But when we graduated, I watched you rise through the ranks with fondness. Before that, even, I think the jealousy faded away to an acceptance. I was even proud. You were going to be so much better than me, and I had a new goal to strive towards. But I-,” he swallows past the lump of coal burning in his throat, “I didn’t know how to tell you I didn’t hate you anymore. You kept being nice and I didn’t deserve it. I think I was punishing myself on your behalf. I thought I didn’t have a right to your kindness. So I kept pushing away. But the further I got the more I hurt. It hurt to be in your orbit, too, but for a different reason.” He threads the fingers of their joined hands together and squeezes lightly. Midoriya looks like he wants to cry and Bakugou’s not far behind. “It took awhile to realize, but it hurt to be in your orbit because I love you and I didn’t think I deserved that. I was awful to you, I didn’t deserve to love someone as pure as you. But, that didn’t stop the feelings from being there. And, well, I finally realized I can’t keep putting it off. The options were speak up or step aside, and I don’t like backing down. I think you know that better than anyone.” Midoriya is actually crying now and Bakugou reaches out with his untethered hand to wipe a few tears away. “So, Izuku Midoriya, I love you. I’ve loved you for years. And I felt you had the right to know.”

Silence stretches between them, punctuated only by their heavy breathing. It gets tense before Midoriya breaks it, mercifully. “You told me no, Kacchan.”

He doesn’t want to admit that this breaks his heart. He knows how Midoriya felt now at hearing those words. It’s a soul crushing feeling. He starts disentangling their fingers so he can make a quick escape. “Yeah, I guess I did. I wasn’t happy with you confessing first and in a shitty back alley and in that situation, so I said no. Like the fucking psychopath I am.” He climbs to his feet and double checks he’s still got his phone and everything else on him; check, all there. “I understand that I did irreparable damage. But, I thought you should know. And this was kind of how I planned on confessing for awhile now. You asked how I would have done it? This. This is how I would have done it.” He laughs suddenly, tears now spilling down his cheeks. This is an unfamiliar feeling and he hates it. The only other time he’d felt like this was watching All Might retire. “Just maybe without the rejection. But don’t worry about it, s’all good. We go back to normal now. You can keep the flowers and chocolates, I’m not that much of a dick.”

He takes a few steps backwards, trying to etch this last look of Deku in his brain, and then turns to leave. He gets another two steps before a green blur tackles him to the side and they go skidding across the floor and into a wall. Logically he knows it’s Deku but his training kicks in and he pops an explosion against the wall to stop himself from hitting it hard.

“DEKU WHAT THE FUCK I COULD HAVE KILLED YOU!”

The nerd’s face is buried against his chest and he’s heaving great sobs and soaking Bakugou’s shirt through. “Oi, nerd. What the fuck?” He grabs a fistful of Midoriya’s hair and yanks, pulling the blubbering man’s face up to see what was going on.

Midoriya looks a right mess but he’s smiling as big as All Might and Bakugou is so confused. Hadn’t he just rejected him? Why was he smiling.

“Deku what the fuck?”

Midoriya laughs suddenly through the tears and unwraps his arms to wipe the tears from Bakugou’s face. “You’re so dumb, Kacchan. You never listen to me.”

“Hey, shitty nerd. I just poured my heart out and now you’re being rude?”

“No!” Midoriya sits up suddenly astride Bakugou’s hips. “Listen to me, Kacchan. Just listen.” He plants his hands firmly on Bakugou’s chest like he plans on keeping him in place forcefully if necessary. “You told me no. But then we talked, and you said I was attractive. And you said you weren’t mad. So I thought, maybe there was hope? And I’ve been trying to give you space! But Kirishima said you had big plans!”

“Hair for brains is getting his ass kicked for this.”

“Don’t interrupt me, Katsuki! You have no manners! But I was giving you space to get used to me loving you, and to see what you’d do. But you had told me no, and that crushed me. But I didn’t stop loving you, you big idiot.”

“Watch your mouth. You’re hanging out with me too much if you’re getting this mouthy.”

A devilish smirk crosses Midoriya’s face and it’s so at odds with his tear stained face that Bakugou has to laugh, but it ends when Midoriya brings his face level with the blonde’s underneath him. “You can watch it for me. I’ve seen you doing it, Kacchan. You think you’re subtle but you’re not.”

He plants a palm in Midoriya’s face and pushes, shoving distance between them. “Says the man I caught checking my hungover ass out. You’re one to talk, Izuku.”

“Say it again.”

Bakugou shoots him a glare. “Getting a little demanding. Wanna say please? And elaborate?”

“Say it again. My name.”

Bakugou is admittedly taken aback but does as asked. “Izuku.”

Midoriya’s smile is blissful. “Again” he pleads.

Bakugou smirks and closes the distance between them, sliding his knees between Midoriya’s. “Izuku,” he whispers, bringing their faces closer. “Is this what you wanted, Izuku? You wanted me to beg for your love?”

Midoriya shakes his head but his face tells a different story; he looks completely enraptured. “I never want to make you beg. Unless that’s what you like, then I guess we can-“

Mood gone.

Bakugou covers his mouth again and narrows his eyes. “Stop talking. You ruin things. And who said there’s a we?”

“Mwycanbugthooifthasswatyouslike.”

Peeling his hand away he wipes it on his jeans with an overly disgusted face. “What the fuck did you just slobber all over my hand to say?”

“I said, I can beg too if that’s what you like.”

“Jesus Deku you can’t just say shit like that. How are you so nonchalant about that?”

“I mean, I can’t say I haven’t pictured it. I’ve had a lot of time to come up with fantasies and I guess since we’re confessing to things tonight and we feel the same there’s no point denying it.”

“Deku, I’m going to kiss you but I need you to shut the ever loving fuck up. Your lips are doing completely the wrong kind of movement and I physically can not take any more of your inane blabbering.”

“So mean, Kacchan!”

Bakugou grabs a fistful of Midoriya’s shirt and hauls him forward, clashing their lips together in the worst first kiss imaginable. Even kissing Kirishima wasn’t this awkward.

Midoriya looks blissed out though when they pull apart and Bakugou pushes him away again. “You need practice. You’re gross.”

Midoriya just nods and stumbles to his feet, pulling Bakugou up with him. “Yeah. Okay, we can practice. You’ll teach me. I’ll learn your moves again.”

“Nerd.”

“Your nerd.”

At this, Bakugou can’t help but smile. Yeah, certainly his nerd. For as long as the little idiot would have him. “Yeah Deku, my nerd.” A knock on the door interrupts them and Bakugou groans. Fucking pizza man. He spins Deku and plants a boot in his ass to push him towards the door. “If I open the door with a hard on I will have to blow up the delivery boy. Get the pizza so we can eat and I can ravish you.”

The look of delighted terror on Midoriya’s face is enough to feed Bakugou’s sadistic ego for years to come.

Hours later, as they lay on Midoriya’s floor after eating too much pizza and making out for far longer than decent, Bakugou reflects on what brought them here. What brought him to this happy place that he never thought he deserved.

His plan hadn’t worked like he’d wanted it to, but he had Midoriya now. It worked out. And he would work every day to keep that smile on his nerd’s face. And for him, he’d stop drinking altogether. He never wanted to forget Midoriya confessing his love ever again.

And if he had it his way, they’d be confessing their love every day until they were nothing but dust.

[derangedangel]

❤️❤️❤️ - Scott, Derek, & Stiles

Summary: Three mini love imagines about Scott McCall, Derek Hale, & Stilies Stilinski (emoji title because I didn’t know what to call it)

Word Count: 3,018

Author’s Note: I had the idea for this last month when I was coming up with Valentine’s Day captions for my job’s social media pages. I tried to keep them short but... also, on Valentine’s Day it’ll be two years since I started posting imagines AND this is my 50th post. Yay me!

And this where my masterlist would go if Tumblr wasn’t buggin about links

love 

/ləv/

noun

1.an intense feeling of deep affection."babies fill parents with feelings of love"synonyms:deep affection, fondness, tenderness, warmth, intimacy, attachment, endearment;More

.a great interest and pleasure in something."his love for football"synonyms:liking, weakness, partiality, bent, leaning, proclivity, inclination, disposition

verb

1.feel a deep romantic or sexual attachment to (someone)."do you love me?" synonyms:be in love with, be infatuated with, be smitten with, be besotted with, be passionate about

"He was Christmas morning, crimson fireworks, and birthday wishes." — Raquel Franco 

Before you even started dating Scott McCall, you knew he was perfect. He was what poems were written about. The type of guy Taylor Swift would fawn over in one of her songs when she was still considered a country artist. Cool lemonade on a hot day in the middle of July. He was... everything. 

Scott and you were friends because both your moms worked at the hospital in the emergency room together. After Scott’s dad left and Melissa had to start working double shifts, Scott would spend a lot of time at your house. Your dad would cook you both dinner and make sure all your homework was done, before Melissa would come over bone tired to take him home. 

There was a time in middle school where your aunt flow decided to make her first visit on your birthday, so your mom let you stay home from school. Of course, Scott texted you to make sure you were alright. You told him you were sick and staying home for the day, but you would be back tomorrow. Around 4 o’clock that evening, Scott McCall showed up to your house with balloons and a gift just for you. You were so shocked when your mom brought Scott to your room, the balloons hardly fitting through the door and Scott’s crooked jaw smile shining brightly. Scott spent the rest of the evening with you and your family. Your mom made your favorite food and bought your favorite cake. After you blew out your candles and looked around at all the people who loved you, your smile grew bigger at the sight of Scott.

Another time during Christmas, Scott’s mom was working the night shift on Christmas Eve. He was going to spend the night at your place, then his mom was going to come over in the morning after work and open presents with your family. You were super excited that Christmas because you got your mom a crystal figurine you accidently broke the year before. The only issue was you somehow broke it again and were gift-less for your mom. The store you bought the gift from didn’t have anymore. You told Scott about your problem a few days before and he went with you to find a new gift for your mom.

When Christmas morning came, you and Scott eagerly waited for Melissa to get off work and come over. You and Scott being the youngest go to open your presents first. You were thirteen and the magic of Santa was gone, but you still got a good amount of gifts. After, your parents exchanged gifts and Scott gave his mom hers. You knew your mom would like the gift you got her, but you felt bad for breaking her crystal figuring for a second time and she didn’t even know it.

“Y/N,” Scott said elbowing you in your side. “Don’t forget your gift for your mom.”

You crawled closer to the tree and reached for the spot where you put her gift, but the gift you wrapped wasn’t there. The card on the gift that was in its place was the same, but the wrapping was different. You looked at Scott confused but he waved his hands for you to give your mom the gift.

Her mouth dropped when she opened it. It was the crystal figurine you wanted to get her. You looked quickly at Scott knowing he had something to do with it from the slightly off wrapping, but you didn’t say anything yet. When it was just the two of you, he explained how he looked everywhere for the gift with his mom. You hugged him so tight, you pushed all the air out his lungs and he needed a puff of his inhaler afterwards. You had no idea how you got so lucky to have a friend like Scott.  

On the fourth of July your senior year, you and your friends decided to drive to the beach to celebrate. It felt like during the summer all the supernatural occurrences were taking a break just like you all were from school. The pack thought it would be alright to leave Beacon Hills for the day. All your beach towels and chairs were set up to give you guys your own little area. The cooler was packed to the brim with water and sodas. Lydia had her music playing from her portable speaker. Stiles had a mini grill with him, which you and Scott didn’t think was safe or legal for the beach. The day was perfect... well, except for the mini fire that Stiles started but thank God the beach patrol didn’t see it. 

At the end of the day, your fingers were all pruned up and you were stuffed with burgers and ice cream. The fireworks were going to shoot up from off the pier that was nearby. Malia was burring Liam in the sand with Mason. Lydia was cuddled up with Stiles in a beach chair. Scott and you were sitting in the sand while you buried and unburied your feet. 

“You wanna go for a walk,” Scott asked you.

You dusted the sand off your legs and stood up. The two of you started walking in the opposite direction of the pier since it was more crowded the closer you got. 

“I’ve got some really good news I just found out the other day, and I’ve been waiting for the right moment to tell you,” you said after the two of you walked for a few minutes.

“What is it,” Scott asked.

You were biting back the huge smile that wanted to take over your face. “I got off the wait list,” you said as calmly as you could muster. So calmly, Scott didn’t fully realize what you meant. “Scott, did you hear me? I got off the wait list,” you said louder.

It clicked in Scott’s head what you meant and he repeated what you said back to you. “You got off the wait list.” He grin spread wide across his face as he threw his arms around you and picked you up. “Oh my God, Y/N, that’s great!”

“I know! We’re going to the same college.”

Scott put you down but your arms were still on his shoulders and his around your waist. “Why did you wait to tell me?”

“I only found out a few days ago. I had to take it all in first. I didn’t believe it when I got the email.”

“Wow…,” Scott sighed looking down at you. “This is going to be amazing. I get to go to college with my best friend.”

“I know right,” you replied. Your teeth were shining like they were in a Colgate commercial and Scott’s mirrored yours right back.

Suddenly, you both heard a loud booming noise from behind you. Both of you turned your heads and saw the bright fireworks exploding over the ocean. You turned your head back to look at Scott, but he was already staring at you.

“This is amazing,” you said softly talking about the fireworks and the moment in general.

“It is,” Scott said in the same soft voice you used. You could see the sapphire, indigo, and crimson light up Scott’s chocolate eyes. Slowly, the two of you leaned into each other. Your hand slid up to his neck pulling him in. Both of you were hesitant, but you both wanted the kiss just as much as the other. Scott’s lips were better than you imagined when they finally touched yours. They were soft from all the SPF 25 Chapstick he had been applying all day. His breath was surpassingly minty despite the large amount of barbeque you saw him scarf down earlier. Scott’s arms tightened around your waist without pulling you too tightly stopping you from over analyzing every detail of the kiss.

The fireworks were still exploding overhead when you pulled away. You were at a loss for words. You just kissed your best friend.

“I’ve heard of seeing fireworks when you kiss, but… wow,” Scott said causing you to giggle as you laid your head on his chest. Freshman year of college just got a little more complicated, but Scott McCall was the perfect kind of complication.

"The real lover is the man that can thrill you by kissing your forehead." — Marilyn Monroe 

To everyone else, Derek Hale was the brooding werewolf with the tragic backstory. The troubled loner. Not to you. To you, he was sweet and caring. The two of you weren’t really together. Just friends who both wanted a little more. You were waiting for Derek to ask you on a date, and Derek was waiting for... the right time. There was always a supernatural issue in Beacon Hills, so to him, it was never a right time. 

You were sitting on the couch in your apartment watching Derek grab his belongings before he headed out. Derek stopped by when you told him you cooked way too much five cheese rigatoni. He didn’t normally get a lot of high quality home cooked meals at his loft, so he was quick to come over and fill up on your food. 

“I’ll see you later,” Derek said right before he kissed your forehead. The butterflies in your stomach rumbled a mile a minute from the simple jester. You didn’t understand it. Derek was a werewolf. You know he hears your heart rate speed up when he does things like that, or smells your chemosignals. Unless he doesn’t like you like that. You brain started to panic. Were you making up the shared feelings you thought were between you and Derek.

“Y/N,” Derek said staring down at you. Somewhere between all your overthinking, he walked back to you and was now standing in front of you. “Are you okay?”

“Oh umm...” you said fidgeting in your spot. “Yeah, just thinking.”

“Are you sure? You kind of went somewhere else for a minute, and I could smell the anxiousness on you.”

“Do you like me,” you asked suddenly looking up at him. You didn’t know where that burst of confidence came from but you couldn’t deal with all this will he won’t he tension anymore. “I mean like, as more than a friend.”

Derek’s eyes grew in shock as he moved back a little. “Y/N,” he said awkwardly as he was at a loss of words. “I- you’re my best friend-”

You quickly cut him off. “That’s not what I asked Derek. It’s a simple yes or no answer,” you said getting more nervous by the second which was making your response come out a little cranky. 

“Why are you suddenly asking me this,” Derek asked avoiding responding. He wasn’t sure why though. Of course he liked you. He was half way in love with you if he was being honest with himself. 

“You’re avoiding the question, Derek,” you said as you readjusted yourself on the couch, placing a pillow in front of yourself as some sort of protective barrier. “But if you must know, it because I know you know that I like you. You’re a werewolf, damn it! I just felt my heart pounding in my chest from when you kissed my forehead. I’m tired of ignoring my feelings or waiting for you to say something when you’re obviously not going to.”

“I was waiting-”

“For what,” you asked, the creases in your forehead getting bigger as you got more annoyed.

“For the right moment,” Derek yelled back at you tired of you interrupting him. “I’m a werewolf, Y/N. There’s always something or someone trying to kill me and I hate that you’re already involved in my mess as much as you are.” 

Derek cooled down the more he talked. He sat down next to you on the couch and your shoulders slumped while you began to fiddle with the edge of the pillow in your lap.

“I just wanted everything to be normal, or at least as normal as it could get for me,” Derek continued rubbing the back of his neck. 

“But fighting for your life is normal for you,” you pointed out.

“I don’t want it to be though. And I don’t want that for you. I don’t want to risk your life, because another werewolf wants to get to me.”

“We’re best friends, they would probably already do that,” you argued.

“I’m not going to put you at risk,” Derek said, his mind already made up.

“I’m already at risk,” you said, your eyes narrowing. “This is Beacon Hills,” you said gesturing around your apartment.

Derek sighed defeated in this debate he was having with you. The both of you were stubborn and had valid points but wouldn’t let up.

“Derek,” you said softly placing your hand on his forearm. “At the rate we’re going, if you wait til Beacon Hills is safe and doesn’t need protecting anymore, I’ll be waiting forever for you to make a move.”

Derek’s lips pulled tight into a straight line as he took in what you said. He was staring across the room instead of making eye contact with you.

“You’re right,” Derek agreed.

“What,” you asked not sure if you heard him right. You tilted your head trying to see the expression on his face better.

“You’re right,” Derek repeated looking at you now. “There’s always something going on here, or someone after me. If I want to be with you, then I should be with you.”

“Wait... are you serious,” you asked confused while you squinted your eyes at him. “My little speech actually worked?”

“Yeah,” Derek said chuckling. 

Your lips grew into a smile. “I’m sorry. I didn’t actually think that would work. You’re pretty stubborn when you think you know what’s right.”

“I’m going to attempt to not take offence to that.”

The lines around your eyes crinkled more as your smile grew bigger. “You can take it however you want as long as you take me out on Friday night.”

"I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look or the words, which laid the foundation. It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun. ― Jane Austen"

For some reason, you and your boyfriend Stiles were in a debate about who loved who first. He insisted he fell for you in the sixth grade before the two of you even started dating, but you argued at 12, he couldn’t possibly know what love was. Those were just puberty hormones. 

You were convinced you knew on your second date. He was going on and on about how Star Wars was better than Star Trek, and you thought you could listen to that boy blabber all day. 

Then you remembered it. It may not have been the exact moment, but it was probably the one that started all the others. 

“The third grade,” you said out of nowhere.

“What,” Stiles asked confused.

“It was the third grade,” you said getting up from the floor of your bedroom where you and Stiles were sitting and went over to your closet. You grabbed an old shoe box from the top shelf and sat back next down to Stiles with your legs crossed.

“In the third grade,” you continued, “on Valentine’s Day you gave me a card.” 

“I gave everyone cards, it was Valentine’s Day,” Stiles said. He was laying on his back before, but he rolled over to give you his full attention now. 

“Don’t be a smartass, I’m going somewhere with this.”

“Okay. Okay. Sorry, babe. Continue,” Stiles said gesturing to the box on the floor.

“Thank you,” you nodded. “Anyway, you gave me a card with a poem on it. And I knew then and there, we were going to be together.”

“You knew that from a Valentine’s card written by a nine year old?”

“Don’t down play yourself, love. You may babble and get off topic now, but you had a way with words then.” You finally found what you were looking for in the box. “Ah, see,” you said handing the card to Stiles.

“You kept this,” Stiles asked looking at you in awe. 

“Yeah,” you shrugged smiling back at him. “That was the most genuine Valentine’s Card I had ever gotten. I just remember still being embarrassed from that history assignment we had to do it class. It wasn’t much because we were in the third grade, but everyone laughed at me and I was so self-conscious after that. But what you said in that card made me feel so much better.”

Stiles looked down at the handmade card. “I sort of remember making this. My dad was supposed to take me to the store to get some cards, but he was so stressed with work he forgot. I had to make them all by hand the night before.”

“And of course you did Star Wars themed ones,” you giggled taking the card back from him. You fiddled with the card in between your figures admiring his childhood handiwork. 

Stiles just watched you stare down at the card he made you all those years ago. Maybe it was sort of a cliche unrealistic love story. Not many people could say they met the love of their life in elementary school and got together in high school.  

“I love you,” Stiles said in a soft tone, his gaze leaving the card in your hands and landing back on your eyes.

You smiled lazily at him. No matter how many times you heard him say those words, they would never get old. “I love you, too.”

You edged closer to him, leaning down as he reached up and pressed his lips against your gently. It was a short kiss that wasn’t planning on turning into anything else. But the moment was definitely ruined when blew a raspberry into his mouth then cracked up laughing. 

“Real mature, Y/N,” Stiles said annoyed but still smiling at you ruining the moment. 

[crystaljins]

The ‘mum’ friend | 05

Characters: Jin x Reader

Word count: 1.2k

Synopsis:  Jin’s a little tired of being the mum friend  but that won’t stop him from helping you get ready.

Notes: I think this is honestly my favourite one of these so far. EDIT: I’m a dummy and accidentally deleted the last one so this is a reupload RIP

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9

“Are you seriously going to go on a date with that clown?” Jin asks. He stands behind you with his arms folded across his chest. He glares at your reflection through the mirror while you attempt to do your eyeliner. It’s far more difficult with Jin’s attention on you and so it is unsurprising when you mess it up yet again. “Like actually? When you could be driving with me to pick Yoongi up from the airport?”

“As exciting as it sounds to run yet another errand with the group mum, I actually don’t have a choice. My actual mum has insisted upon the blind date and rather than endure her complaining through another hour long phone call, I’m just going to get dinner with the guy and get it over with.” You gripe as you reach for a makeup wipe. Jin watches with fascination for a moment before collapsing on your mattress and sprawling across it.

“Are you going to leave any time soon?” You ask, finally finishing up on your makeup and gazing at the dress you had chosen for the evening.

“I’ll just close my eyes.” Jin yawns in answer. Your gaze softens. Taehyung’s dog had required an emergency visit to the vet last night and Jin had been the one to drive him, and now he’s staying up late once more so he can pick Yoongi up from the airport. Yoongi had offered to just get a taxi but the trip had been to meet with some important business partners and Jin had wanted to be the first to hear how it went. Also the thought of one of his friends paying for a taxi when Jin has a perfectly functioning vehicle stresses him out.

With a sigh, you shrug out of your pyjamas and step into the dress. It is, admittedly, a little risqué for a first date you have no intention on following up on but you had gotten it a month ago and never worn it because Jin refuses to take you anywhere nice. If Jin doesn’t want to take you out on a date, you’re simple going to have to enjoy the fun of dressing up for someone else. It’s his loss, you think to yourself.

Only, when you turn around, Jin is propped up on his elbows on your bed and watching you without shame.

“Jin!” You reprimand, feeling your cheeks heat up. “You said you’d close your eyes!”

He shrugs with a grin.

“I did close my eyes. I just didn’t say how long I’d close them for.” He says. You are momentarily speechless at his audacity.

It is moments like these that make you think maybe Jin does like you. When he stares at you with that unreadable gaze, the one where he could be thinking anything from what he plans to have for dinner tonight to what ridiculous errand he’s going to drag you on next. It is frustrating how unreadable he is sometimes. If you could just crack through that outer facade and catch a glimpse of the feelings beneath, you would have asked him out ages ago but he continues to run hot and cold with you and you are confused.

“You never dress this nicely for me! I’m honestly a little offended.” He complains after a long moment of staring. He collapses back into your bed and glares petulantly at the ceiling.

“I never dress this nicely because your idea of hanging out is us going to pick up Namjoon’s prescription foot cream because he broke his arm and can’t drive to pick it up himself.” You point out rather reasonably.

“You had a good time! I bought you iced tea!” He cries in protest.

You sigh and fight back a smile as you turn to your jewellery box to search for a suitable pair of earrings. It had been fun, going to the pharmacy with Jin, but that was more because you enjoy his company way too much and not because purchasing foot cream is an enjoyable activity. And secretly you kind of like helping people out and Jin makes you reach out to people in a way you never thought you could before him.

“You’re really going to go?” Jin asks, and there is an odd serious tone to his voice. He sits up and stares you down and his gaze is unusually hard. “With me standing right here, offering you a far more interesting and fun evening, you’re going to go on a date?”

“Unless you have some sort of way to get my mother off my back, yes, I��m going on the date. It’s not like I’m seeing anyone at the moment. We’ll get dinner, I won’t organise a second date and I’ll tell my mother it just didn’t work and then voila, I’m free from her nagging until she finds her next victim.” You counter. Honestly, you think it’s unfair to whatever guy this date is with to agree to meet him when you’re so hung up over the guy currently chucking a tantrum in your bed, but you don’t have a choice. Your mother had insisted and hey, maybe getting out into the dating world would be good for you and help you finally deal with this annoying crush. Jin stares at you for a long, tense moment and then suddenly he rolls off your bed and begins rummaging through your drawers.

“Fine. If you’re that set on going on this date, I might as well help you. Where’s the necklace I got you for your birthday?” He demands, and you have half a mind to whack him when he pulls open your underwear drawer and begins sorting through it as if you’re going to keep jewellery in the same drawer as your undies. “It’ll go perfectly with that dress you’re wearing.”

“It’s here!” You snap, reaching into your jewellery box to produce the necklace in question. It’s more to stop him examining your bras with unnecessary vigour than to out of a desire to wear the necklace. Jin pauses it and turns towards you and there is definitely an ulterior motive lurking behind the smile he gives you. He pretty much snatches the necklace from where it dangles from your fingers and steps in far more close than necessary.

“I’ll help you put it on.” He says softly, and his voice pitches oddly low. Confused, you shift your hair off your neck to allow him to do so and for the first time that night you regret the decision to wear a strapless dress. You can feel each puff of his warm breath across the back of your neck and you feel the heat of his hands as he fidgets with the clasp of the necklace. Why is it taking so long to put on a simple necklace? It’s not complicated- delicate, silver chain, pretty pendant inlayed with your birth stone resting against your clavicle and a simple clasp. Still, Jin takes ages and you feel a blush creep along your skin the longer the moment draws out.

Finally he releases the necklace and it rests neatly against your skin. He places a hand on either shoulder and grins at you in the mirror over the top of your head.

“There,” He says. You examine the necklace- honestly it clashes a little with the dress and while you know Jin normally has better fashion taste than that but you cannot bring yourself to take it off. “Perfect.”

He glances at his watch and sighs.

“I better get going. Enjoy your date.” He pauses as he leaves the room. “Oh yeah, and if he asks about that necklace...”

He trails away and you turn to face him curiously. His grin shifts into something mischievous. “Make sure to tell him I gave it to you.”

You end up refusing a second date that night.

[fatorangepoo]

DIARY

15th of March 2022

i ate 2 curry puffs for breakfast. tasty! i also ate some prawn biscuits in my dad's noodles.

after that i played genshin and did the average social media scrolling. my dad wants to take us out to buy lunch.

he went to AEON to buy burger king. the set came with burgers, fries, coke and a sundae. it was so tasty like no other. the cone was so crunchy!!!! ice cream was the PERFECT amount of sweetness, not like McDonalds where it gets disgusting after you eat too much...

while waiting for my dad to get subway from another mall nearby me and my mom devoured her burger in the car. i ate parts where cheese was dripping out of the meat. my dad returned with two subways and a salmon onigiri.

i ate the onigiri in the car. it's been 5 years and i still dont know how to properly open convenience store rice balls. I've only opened one correctly my whole life and i forgot how i did it.

some grains of rice keeps falling onto the cushions of the car its so annoying. i still ate the whole thing up though it was ok and decent for half frozen food.

the whole car trip I've eaten: fries, 1/4 of a burger, onigiri.

at home i ate 5 bites out of my subway. i keep shuffling from the back of the house go the dining room to watch cats behind the house. there are so many!!! a kitten and its mother and 4 more adult cats that are the same colour.

after i ate i mostly just checked on the cats again to take funny pictures of them and chatting with my friend. THEN THERES A POWER OUT AGAIN!!! they can't stop fixing the lights in the neighborhood.

it was evening. no lights, no wifi. i went outside in my pajamas from yesterday. the full moon in the blue sky was so magical. the clouds were from an oil painting, my mom said. even though oil paintings should be inspired by clouds.

i mostly just did weird stunts outside while waiting for electricity to come back again. eventually it became night and my grandparents cooked dinner in the darkness.

they cooked bihun in fishballs, meat chunks, ikan bilis and water!!! so tasty.

then i caught up with a dusty manga i havent read since last year. IT IS SO GOOD. i was reading it before i wrote this diary, so i am still reading it.

I've also bought some things in my shopee cart for my beloved!!! i used my free shipoing voucher and rm4 off voucher. i got rm13 off..🤤🤤❓❗

[pbandjesse]

Me and Ashlyn are sitting in the bathroom attempting to dye our hair. Hers looks to be working. Mine is a maybe. Because my hair is already so dark it’s hard to tell when it’s wet. Today’s been awesome though! I’m having such a fun trip. I slept really well last night. Though I was a bit cold and I didnt feel like getting up and turning off the fan so it was really my fault. And Ashlyn’s cat Rumi kept licking my face and standing on my hair. Like a jerk. But thats okay. When I got up I found I had snapped my headphones somehow? Just broke the war bud right off. Super strange. We hung out for a little. Just lazing about. Then I went for a shower. We decided to go to the rose street patisserie for brunch. And so we headed out. Brunch was great. I got that beautiful green dessert. Which was lime with strawberry compote inside. And also got the fanciest egg in a basket ever. It was like a little puff with egg and cheese in it. Amazing. Ashlyn for a very tasty looking blt. And it was a ton of fun hanging out. We left there and went to salley beauty for hair dye supplies. And over to target to look for headphones for me but I didn’t like any of them. I’ll look for them later. We went to the antique mile. Starting at junket. I got a really cute peplum (spelling??) top that is grey with bunnies, and 2 pins. One that is a circle with a red stone and one that is a straight pin with a pretty J on it. Ashlyn got a pin and a print. And I got to play with a 3 legged dog. A few of the antique places weren’t open so we just enjoyed our walk. It was beautiful out today. We ended up at a place called Time Bomb which is always the best. And I got a really cute red stripped dress with am awesome back cut out detail. Ashlyn got the best top. Its got embroidery all over it and looks precious on her. We were having a blast. And we didn’t have to have me back to meet with Michaela until 4 So we still had lots of time. And Ashlyn suggested we go to this big box thrift store Id never heard of. Awesome let’s go. I was kind of upset when we got there because I somehow broke the brand new charging cord I bought yesterday. And I was just really bummed out and people kept texting me and I think I was just hungry and tired. So I had to walk away for a few minutes. I calmed down and me and Ashlyn tried on shoes and stuff. And it was nice. I looked at rain coats and a nice lady told me I looked cute in them. I found 2 I really loved. One is like a real coat that’s think I look precious in and the other folds up small enough to just always have in my backpack. And we got 25% off because apparently they always do that on Thursdays. Stellar. We headed back towards her place then. She left me at CVS and went home. I got a new cord. No luck on headphones there so I walked to my old family dollar and got a pair there but they sound horrible so I’m going to return those. The search continues. I went to the diner and waited for Michaela. And we had such a nice time when she got there. She had the coolest shirt on. And it was a blast hanging out and catching up. Our food took forever but was very good once it got to us. We gossiped and chatted and it was just really good. I’m so glad we were able to find time to get together. She also told me that she had run into Don this morning and he didnt know I was coming to town?? Inccorect I told him multiple times. Terrible. But I’m seeing him for brunch tomorrow so its all good. She dropped me off at the corner and I walked to Ashlyn’s place. I was very tired when I got back and so we rested. I ended up passing out for like an hour on her chair. I needed the rest. We spent like an hour dying our hair and watching polygon videos. And now that were done and waiting for our hair to dry were watching one punch man and eating strawberirs and whipped cream. Its been such a good day. Tomorrow I’m going to try to meet up with a bunch of people while Ashlyn works. And its the thesis show!! It will be another good day I’m sure! I hope you all sleep well tonight. Have a good day tomorrow!

[theninjasanctuary]

Eurgh, there have been 2 classes and I’m not into it. OTL

Because I have a faulty brain/personality/idk, I can’t focus on prep in a timely manner, so I lose way too much sleep the night before, and while adrenaline reliably gets me through the class, I end up feeling like a squeezed lemon afterwards, and having no feedback whatsoever on Zoom makes me feel extra shitty (I welcome questions and comments, but they’re first-year students and are too shy to say anything, so I just sit on the sofa and talk to the void for 89 minutes with 1 minute of hellos and thank you, good-byes, fml). I just want to do well, why won’t my brain let me do well?

Anyway. So yesterday was a waste, and knowing I would struggle to fall asleep (that’s another shitty feature of my faulty brain, it’s way too fucking eager to adjust; oh, we slept 4 hours last night? this is the new normal, we must now stay awake at all costs, or maybe take a 10-minute nap at the most), I took all the sleep aids to knock myself the fuck out. Which kind of worked. And I managed to wake up to the alarm and get to the fancy workout, wearing sunscreen for the first time this year... literally hadn’t seen the sun in idk how many weeks, it’s been overcast all the time except some nights. A side note, sunshine on a thick layer of fluffy snow somehow feels intensely nostalgic to me. I don’t have any early memories I can reliably date before I was 3 (only environments, objects and possibly some clothes - the earliest event I vaguely remember is my dad and older brother coming back from visiting my mom’s parents, back when we were renting the upper floor of an old lady’s house in the next village, less than 2 km away from them, and we didn’t have a phone but grandparents did, and thus dad and bro brought the news that my cousin had been born and named - we are 3 years and 4 months apart). But the happy nostalgic feeling that sunshine on snow like this gives me seems to go back earlier than that.

Was a little late to the physio’s because traffic and road works??? in this weather???, but had a good session, then dropped by the office after some more traffic delays and detours, had a nice coffee and a croissant sandwich picked up from a café again, watered my plants, sent some emails, etc. Trying to run all the errands in one go, as usual, bought body lotion, an ArtDeco brush pen concealer/illuminator for base makeup, and looked at some blush and powder options, in no hurry to decide though, lets finish what I’ve got first. To aid with the latter though, I bought a foundation brush. I’ve got a bb cream I’d like to get more use out of, and I’m kind of feeling the nice rubycell puff I have ends up giving me a slightly heavier layer than necessary. We’ll see. And I got home in time for a late-ish DHL delivery of request-item sunscreen and some samples.   

[zoemurph]

before sunrise

on ao3 (full note on ao3) 

its been a really tough week, but as always, i really love the murphy siblings. i also really love my friends. thank you for putting up with me and im sorry for the silence. ill try to make it up somehow if youll let me.

warning: minor mentions of throwing up from "it's around 1:30" to "'zoe?' connor asks softly", because zoe is sick. its not described much at all, but figured id throw it out there. let me know if theres anything else i should warn about.

enjoy

It’s 4:17 in the morning when Zoe tip toes down the stairs and then makes eye contact with Connor, who’s sitting on the couch, eating cereal and staring at a blank TV screen.

Connor takes another bite of cereal and then puts the bowl down in his lap. “Hey.”

Zoe nods and walks into the kitchen, putting her instrument case on the floor by the table when she passes it.

Connor stares ahead at nothing for another few seconds before he takes his cereal and moves to join her.

“What are you doing up?” he asks, leaning against the island in the center of the room.

Zoe keeps her back toward him as she rummages through the fridge. “Competition,” she says shortly.

“At four in the morning?” Connor asks in surprise.

Zoe glances at him over her shoulder, eyebrows furrowed. “Yeah? Transportation time?”

Oh right. “Still, that’s really fucking early.”

She keeps staring at him. “Well you’re up.”

“That’s different,” Connor points out before stirring his cereal mindlessly.

“Why, ’cause you’re not leaving?” Zoe pulls out an orange and closes the fridge door with her elbow.  

Connor rolls his eyes. “No. Cause I never went to bed. There was no ‘waking up’ involved here.”

She frowns as she peels her orange. “Why didn’t you sleep?”

He shrugs and takes another bite of cereal.

“Hm.” Zoe slowly pulls apart the orange. “So did you just sit on the couch all night and stare at the TV?”

“Yes.” She looks surprised. “And then I grabbed a bowl of cereal and then I kept staring at the TV.” Connor keeps his gaze steady as Zoe decides what to do with that information.

Eventually, Zoe settles for “Oh.” And all other aspects of their relationship considered, Connor will settle for it.

“I have to go,” Zoe says suddenly. She slips past Connor and back into the dining room. She scoops up her case and grabs her keys off the hook without another word.

“Good luck,” Connor says from the kitchen doorway.

Zoe pauses at the front door. “Thanks.”

It’s 5:23 in the morning and Connor is sitting on the kitchen counter eating cold pizza.

Zoe hesitates in the doorway before she steps into the kitchen and leaves her backpack on the island.

“Early,” Connor says.

Zoe hums in agreement. She pulls a loaf of bread out of the cabinet and pops two pieces in the toaster. “Why are you up?” she asks as she opens the door to the fridge and pulls out the jelly. Someone, probably Connor, used the rest of the strawberry. She’ll settle for grape.

Connor shrugs.

They sit in silence as they wait for the toast to pop.

“Coffee?” Connor asks suddenly.

Zoe shakes her head. “I’ll stop at Starbucks on my way into school.”

Connor squints at the time on the stove. “It’s early.”

“I’m helping Alana with setup for the assembly today.” The toast pops. Zoe grabs a knife and a plate.

“You’re part of Student Council?” Connor asks. He doesn’t seem surprised. She’s not sure how to take that.

“No.” She focuses on spreading jelly evenly across the pieces of bread. Easier said than done. “I’m just helping Alana, you know how Student Council is.”

There’s a pause before Connor says, “No. Not really.”

Zoe looks up from her toast. “No one does shit,” she says flatly.

He lifts his pizza in acknowledgement. “Mood.”

She rolls her eyes. “Fuck off, Alana does everything. People don’t care, it just looks nice on college apps.”

“Sorry she has to deal with that,” Connor says after a moment. “It’s cool that you care.”

Zoe looks over to him. He’s staring off into the distance as he eats his pizza, like he didn’t say the words at all.

It’s 1:02 in the morning. Connor is hanging off the side of the couch upside down as Evan snores softly on the other end, curled up in a ball and hugging a pillow.

The stairs creak and he sits up, groaning as he uses abs that he definitely doesn’t have. The sudden change makes the blood rush from his head, and he grabs onto the arm of the couch as black spots burn his vision and his head spins. When it passes, he squints up at Zoe in the darkness.

She’s frozen in the middle of the stairs, eyes wide.

Connor hauls himself off the couch, moving for the first time in at least eight hours, which his body hates. He motions for Zoe to follow him into the kitchen and hears her following him quietly after a moment. He flicks on the light as he enters the kitchen and immediately heads to the fridge. Cynthia bought whipped cream and he’s not above squirting it directly into his mouth.

Zoe leans against the counter and crosses her arms over her chest.

“Did you want something?” Connor asks softly, pulling the can of whipped cream from the shelf.

She starts to shake her head then stops. “Couldn’t sleep,” she admits after a minute.

Connor puts the cover on the island before shaking the can. “Relatable.”

“When did Evan fall asleep?” she asks.

Good move. Evan is always a safe conversation topic. Just like Evan is a safe person to be around. Evan is just safe, that’s the best description Connor has come up with for him so far. “Maybe like half an hour ago. Long day.”

Zoe nods slowly and stares out of the kitchen into the darkness of the living room. “I can’t believe he fell asleep on the couch.”

Connor smiles. “Evan can fall asleep anywhere if he’s tired enough. He fell asleep leaning against Jared the other day.”

He watches Zoe fight a smile before he tips his head back and squirts whipped cream into his mouth. She’s probably judging him, but he remembers doing this with her when they were young. Younger. Their mom would put out strawberries and put a little bit of whipped cream on their plates. When she left the room, they’d sneak into the kitchen and squirt whipped cream into their mouths.

“That couch is the worst,” Zoe mutters. “Dad needs to move on so we can get a new one.”

Connor lowers the whipped cream and nods. They’ve had that old couch for as long as either of them can remember. It’s one of the only parts of the house that isn’t constantly updated. At one point it was comfortable, but now the cushions are flattened and the springs are dead. A night’s sleep on it is a guaranteed back ache for at least two days afterward.

“As long as Evan is asleep,” Connor says. He holds out the whipped cream to Zoe.

She stares at the can for a long moment before she takes it from him. “Why aren’t you asleep?”

Connor raises his eyebrows at her. “Sleep is for the weak.”

Zoe gives him a flat look.

“I took a nap after school in the library while waiting for Evan,” Connor says. “I can’t sleep.”

Zoe keeps her eyes on the floor for a moment before she lifts the whipped cream to her mouth and squirts it in.

Avoidance. Nice.

“You should go to sleep soon,” Connor says eventually. “You have that rehearsal today, right?”

She nods slowly. “It’s fine. I can sleep on the bus.”

Connor makes a face.

“I’ve done longer rehearsals on less sleep.” Zoe grabs the cap off the island and covers the whipped cream. “Besides, this is good practice for college.”

Connor watches her as she opens the fridge door to put away the can. They don’t talk about college. Or the future. For a while there they didn’t talk at all. And then talking about the future was too tentative, because it wasn’t something they thought they’d actually look at together. “Performance or education?” he asks as the fridge door swings closed.

“Performance,” Zoe murmurs. “But I’m also thinking about music therapy. There aren’t many schools with great programs but…” She trails off and looks at her feet. The socks she’s wearing are mismatched, one is covered with stars and the other with Marvel superheroes.

“You should go to bed,” Connor says.

Zoe nods. “You too.”

At 2:49, Zoe gives up and closes her history textbook. Her brain hurts and her eyes hurt and her neck hurts. She pushes away from her desk and stands up, stretching out her back and wincing when something pops. Then she goes down the stairs as quietly as possible because she desperately needs chocolate before she starts crying.

She almost has a heart attack when she flicks on the kitchen light, because Connor is sitting on the floor in the dark eating cup ramen.

“Oh my god,” she gasps, stumbling backward.

Connor looks up at her and then raises a hand. “Hey.”

“Don’t do that!” Zoe hisses. “I almost screamed.”

“Cool.” Connor takes a sip from his cup ramen.

She puffs up her cheeks and blows air out from between her lips as she pulls open the cupboards. “What are you doing up?”

“Studying. Emphasis on the dying part.” She glares at him and he shrugs. “I got sick of writing about literary fiction versus commercial fiction, fucking sue me.”

“Maybe I will.” Zoe finds a half used bag of chocolate chips from the last time they made pancakes. She pulls it out of the cabinet and tosses the bag clip on the island before joining Connor on the floor. “Want some?”

“Nah I’m eating healthy.”

She rolls her eyes and dumps a handful of chocolate chips into her palm. “Okay then. Are you just writing that paper or…?”

“Yeah at the moment.” Connor picks at the styrofoam cup. “Ev and I are meeting up after school tomorrow so he can study for Environmental Science and Alana promised she’d help me with math.”

“Alana is a gift,” Zoe muses before stuffing the entire handful of chocolate chips in her mouth.

“Mhm. What about you?”

Zoe holds up a hand as she chews the chocolate chips. She has so much to do and she’s trying not to think about it too much. Mostly she’s just stress eating, which is admittedly better than Evan’s stress not eating, but not by much. “Right now it’s history,” she says after she swallows. “I’m trying not to think about music theory. Or precalc. Or graphic design.”

“Ask Jared,” Connor says. “He’s good at that shit. He might be able to hack onto the computers and fix something real quick after class if you need him to.”

“That’s cheating, Connor.” Zoe takes another handful of chocolate chips.

“Do I look like I give a shit?” Connor asks before tipping his head back and draining the rest of the broth in his cup ramen.

Zoe shakes her head. “You look like you want to have too much salt in your body.”

“I’m already mostly salt,” Connor deadpans. “A little more can’t hurt.” He holds out his hand for a chocolate chip. Zoe generously gives him two. “You’ve got White for precalc, right? Because we need to talk about how terrible she is.”

Connor glances up from his laptop screen at 3:19 in the morning to see Zoe hovering at the edge of the stairs, hugging herself. He pauses the YouTube video he was mindlessly watching and pulls his earbuds out. “Why are you up, Zo?”

She shakes her head. “Couldn’t sleep.”

He wonders if she’s really that tired and out of it that she didn’t notice the nickname slip. “Why’d you come down here?” he asks. “Do you need like…food or something?”

She shakes her head again. “You’re always up.”

Connor can’t argue with that one. He still hasn’t figured out how to force himself to adopt a normal sleep schedule yet. He’s working on it, but every few weeks it gets really out of whack and he has to start all over. It’s a process. An annoying one.

“Do you…want to talk about it?” he asks slowly.

Zoe hesitates. “I kind of just want to sit,” she says.

Connor sits up and swings his legs off of the couch. “Then sit.” He scooches over as far as he can so she can have all the space she needs.

Zoe curls up on the other end of the couch, leaning against the armrest and wrapped up in a ball.

“Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it?”

She nods. “Yeah.”

He frowns.

“Go back to what you were doing,” Zoe murmurs. “I don’t want to bother you.

Connor looks to his YouTube video. He hadn’t been all that invested before but he’s even less invested now. After a few minutes, he clicks the search bar and looks for a composer, one he overheard Zoe talking about the other day that she supposedly really likes.

He’s not sure if he should know her favorite composer or not. He’s not really sure how any of this works. He just hopes he gets the name right.

Connor listens to songs while checking in on Zoe every few minutes out of the corner of his eye. Eventually, he finds a song that seems calming enough and unplugs his headphones, turning his laptop volume on low.

Zoe looks over to him in surprise.

Connor just shrugs and stuffs his headphones in his pocket. He clicks over to a new tab and does his own thing as the music plays.

Zoe moves closer as the song ends. “Can I…?” she trails off, gesturing to his laptop.

Connor blinks. “Oh yeah, sure.” He pulls the YouTube page back up before handing it over. He rubs his eyes as Zoe looks through the recommended videos.

He’s startled by the first note of the next song.

“Sorry about that,” Zoe apologizes.

“It’s cool.” Connor runs a hand through his hair. “Just tired.”

“You should sleep,” she mumbles.

You too. “On this couch?” Connor asks. “Fuck that.”

Zoe moves to hand Connor his laptop back.

Connor pushes it back towards her. “Keep it. You’ve got better taste in music.”

“You finally admit it,” she murmurs.

He pulls his legs up onto the couch and crosses them, letting his thoughts sink into the music. Zoe does have a nice taste in music, at least when it comes to instrumental band music. He glances over to her at one point and she’s nodding along to the beat, swaying back and forth with some of the dynamic changes.

Connor gets a weird feeling in his chest. Zoe’s hair is longer than he thought it was and she has circles under her eyes. She looks tired and he doesn’t think he can blame that on just tonight.

He has the overwhelming need to protect her. It’s weird.

“What’s this?” she asks, tilting the screen and pointing to a video that shows up in the recommended videos column.

Connor squints at it. “Some comedy sketch. I just kind of let YouTube run on autoplay when I’m out of it and weird shit starts showing up in my recommended videos.”

Zoe purses her lips before scooting closer. “I wonder if it’s funny,” she says as she clicks the video.

Zoe falls asleep on him about six videos later, when they’ve somehow gotten to a video on the top ten animated villain songs. Connor shuts his laptop and sets it on the table in front of them, careful not to move too much so he won’t disturb her.

It’s around 1:30 when Zoe stumbles out of bed and down the hallway, barely throwing the bathroom door open in time to bend over the toilet. She wipes her mouth with a tissue and flushes the toilet, grimacing.

Gross.

She groans as she sinks to the cold tile floor. It’s nice against her hot skin, but doesn’t change the fact that everything hurts and is awful right now.

And she thought she was maybe getting better.

“Zoe?” Connor asks softly.

She doesn’t turn away from the toilet, just lifts a hand in acknowledgement.

“You okay?”

Zoe takes a few slow breaths before she says, “I’m okay.”

“Here.” He flicks the light on and sits on the side of the tub. “Not going to school, huh?”

Zoe groans. “Please…”

Connor gives her a weak smile and yanks a hair tie out of his hair, his hair falling out of its ponytail as he does so. “Here.”

Zoe takes it and pulls her hair up into a messy bun. At least it’s out of her face now. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be. You’re sick.” Connor leans closer and presses the back of his hand to her forehead. “And burning up. Shit, Zo, when did you take medicine?”

“Um…” She scrunches up her face. “Before bed?”

Connor looks up as he does some math in his head. “Yeah okay, you can take more now.”

“How long has it been?” she asks.

“Like nine hours.”

Zoe blinks. “Are you sure?”

“Sleep is weird and so is time.” Connor stands. “Do you think you can come downstairs with me or is staying hunched over a toilet a better idea?”

Zoe slowly gets to her feet. Connor grabs her arm when she wobbles a little. “I think I’m okay. I’ll be down in a second.”

“I’ll be in the kitchen.” Connor pauses in the doorway. “If you fall, just start yelling or something.”

“Sorry for waking you up,” she calls after him.

“You didn’t,” Connor promises.

Zoe brushes her teeth and stares at herself in the mirror for a minute. She looks like a corpse. She hates being sick and all of her homework is just piling up into a terrifying mountain of death.

She also feels like she’s going to pass out.

Water is good.

She leans heavily on the railing as she climbs downstairs, following the trail of lights Connor left on into the kitchen. He’s drinking orange juice and sitting on the island. He’s left out a medicine cup filled with purple grape flavored lies. Zoe scowls as she picks it up.

“Bottoms up,” Connor says, lifting his glass in a toast. “Actually wait.” He hops down from the island and opens the fridge, pulling out chocolate syrup. “Go.”

Zoe huffs and downs the medicine, trying not to gag.

“Open wide,” Connor says, uncapping the chocolate syrup.

Zoe opens her mouth again as Connor squeezes chocolate syrup in. Then he does the same to himself.

“You didn’t take medicine,” Zoe says.

“I’m taking care of you,” Connor says. “This is my payment.”

Zoe rolls her eyes. “‘m fine.”

Connor gives her a look. “Sure.”

“I’m almost an adult, I can take care of myself.”

He shudders. “Don’t remind me.”

“Why? Is me being an adult that scary?”

“No, it reminds me that I’m an adult.”

Zoe laughs. It turns into a cough and Connor pats her back until she can breathe right again.

“My laptop is still hooked up to the TV if you want to illegally watch Disney movies,” Connor says.

Zoe nods. “Yeah, that’d be good.”

She curls up on the couch with a blanket because now she’s too cold even though Connor insists her fever is up, and takes a water bottle from Connor when he hands it to her over the back of the couch. He pulls up Princess and the Frog without Zoe even having to argue that it’s way better than Lilo and Stitch.

“Thanks,” she mumbles. “Was I supposed to take that medicine with food?”

“Not sure,” Connor admits. “But here.” He holds out a box of Saltines. “Found these in the back of the cabinet. Bland, salty, and white. Just like me.”

Zoe snorts as she takes them from him. “You aren’t that bland.” She opens the box. “Don’t you have school in a few hours?” Connor shrugs. “Whatever.”

 At 12:36, Zoe pulls open the front door. Connor ducks his head as he squeezes past her and into the house.

“Thanks,” he whispers as he pulls down his hood. It started raining as he had walked home and now all of him is a little damp.

Zoe crosses her arms. “Where were you?”

“Out.” Connor moves to go into the kitchen. He needs something warm to eat or drink right now. He can’t feel his hands.

She grabs onto his jacket, yanking him backwards. “Seriously?!”

Connor sighs and gives in. “Can you let me, like, get a snack? It’s not a big deal.”

“It is if it involves you sneaking in and out.” She shoves him. “I thought you were getting better than this.”

“I am,” Connor snaps. He jerks free and stalks off to the kitchen. He pulls open the fridge and stares at its contents, which doesn’t help the fact that he’s freezing.

“Here.” Zoe grabs a container of leftovers out of the fridge and shoves it at Connor. “Those are going to go bad. If you’re going to be midnight snacking, at least eat something we need to get rid of.”

“Closer to one am,” Connor corrects. “Round up.”

Zoe glares at him.

She continues to watch him with an unimpressed gaze as he heats up pasta from last week in the microwave.

“When did you sneak out?” she asks when there are fourteen seconds left.

Connor pulls the microwave door open before it can beep. “About nine.”

“Why.”

He ignores her and bumps her over to get to the silverware.

“Connor,” she says warningly. “I won’t help you sneak in and out if you won’t tell me what’s going on. There’s nothing stopping me from getting mom or dad right now.”

“You wouldn’t,” he says flatly.

Zoe takes a deep breath.

“It’s none of your business,” he hisses.

She scowls. “You making me let you back in makes it my business. Why didn’t you bring your key? Come on. That’s basic.”

Connor shrugs. “I left it at Evan’s my mistake.” He focuses on his pasta and tries not to look at her.

“Evan’s?” Zoe asks. “You haven’t been over his house for like…two days. Besides, you had your key earlier…today…”

Connor stuffs his mouth full of pasta. She can’t question him if he can’t talk and he can’t talk if he’s eating.

There’s a long pause that gives him far too much time to chew the way too big bite of pasta he took.  

“You were at Evan’s?” Zoe asks softly.

Connor nods and continues to not look at her.

“Why?”

“He needed someone,” Connor mumbles. “His mom was at work and Jared was working on a project and Ev didn’t want to bother them.”

Zoe sighs. “You could’ve just told me that.”

“It really wasn’t any of your business. And besides,” he meets her eyes, “you assumed the worst.” Which stung more than he was willing to admit it did.

Zoe shifts uncomfortably under his gaze. “Yeah, I did. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” he mutters. He stabs a piece of pasta with his fork. “It’s whatever. Thanks for letting me in.”

“Always.” Zoe clears her throat. “You can always like…tell me stuff. If you need to. I know I’m not like… I know it’s different but— yeah.”

Connor glances at her. “Yeah.”

It’s 3:44 in the morning when Zoe wakes up with a cramp in her calf and an incredibly dry throat. She practically stumbles down the stairs as she tries to walk off the cramp and bumps into the doorframe when she tries to enter the kitchen.

She grumbles to herself and rubs her shoulder before flicking on the kitchen lights. She blinks in surprise. “Connor?”

Connor looks up from where he’s sitting on the floor, hair messy and face streaked with tears.

“Are…are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” he mutters. His voice sounds hoarse.

Zoe hesitates. “Do you— Can I do anything? To help?”

Connor presses a hand to his forehead and squeezes his eyes shut.

“Connor?” she asks softly. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

He takes a shaky breath. “No.”

“What can I do?” She steps a little closer. “How can I help?”

“Just…stay. For a minute.”

Zoe sits down on the kitchen floor an arms length away from Connor. She’s supposed to be good at this comforting thing, but now that she’s here she has no idea if she’s supposed to do or say anything. She settles for just sitting in silence, because that’s all Connor wanted. For her to be here.

There’s probably something deep in that, but she’s tired.

“I’m sorry,” Connor chokes out after a few minutes.

Zoe furrows her eyebrows. “For what?”

“Everything.” He buries his face in his knees. “Everything,” he repeats, voice muffled.

Zoe takes a breath. “I’m not leaving,” she promises as she stands up. She pulls two plastic cups from a cabinet. The colors are faded and old but for some reason, their mom hasn’t thrown them out yet. She fills both up with water before joining Connor on the floor again. “Here,” she says, holding out one of the cups to him. “Hydration is important or something.”

Connor looks up to her with watery eyes before taking the cup. He wipes his face with the sleeve of his sweatshirt. “Sorry.”

“I just got you some water,” Zoe says. “It’s not a big deal. And it’s what I came down here for anyway.”

Connor stares down into his cup. “Still.”

Zoe sighs. No time like the present. “I accept your apology,” she says. “I don’t forgive you for everything, and I don’t think I can, but I accept your apology and I want to move past it. Look to the future and all that stuff. I… I want to help, Con. If you’re okay with that.”

Connor sniffs. “You don’t have to do that.”

“Yeah but I want to.” There were years where she had just given up and she’d stopped thinking he could get better. And in the end he proved her wrong. “I offered to.”

Connor takes a deep breath. “Don’t. Not if— it’s not worth it if you’re going to be like mom and think this is fixed quickly because I’m sick of pretending I’m better than I am.”

“I know,” Zoe murmurs. “I want to know if you’re actually okay or not. I want to know if I should be worried or… You’re my big brother. I just want you to be that.”

Connor’s face crumples and Zoe puts her cup down on the floor before taking his cup from his hands and putting it down next to hers. She touches his shoulder. “Connor?”

He pulls her into a tight hug, burying his face in her shoulder.

For a moment, she’s frozen. She can’t remember the last time they hugged. Or the last time that it felt real.

Zoe hugs him tight as they sit on the kitchen floor, the sun not even above the horizon yet. She still doesn’t really know what to say. Because she doesn’t actually know if things will get better. She wants to hope, but years have made her cynical and that’s really sad for her to say as a seventeen year old. So she just hugs Connor until he’s ready to let go.

Then they sit on the couch and watch Lilo and Stitch together, illegally on the first site that doesn’t threaten to give Connor’s laptop a virus. And she doesn’t even argue against it.

[vanityfairness]

July 2019 Empties

* = disliked the product - would not repurchase ** = liked the product - would not repurchase *** = liked the product - might or might not repurchase **** = loved the product - would repurchase *HOLY GRAIL!*

1. The Face Shop The Solution Smoothing Face Mask source: The Face Shop thoughts: I haven’t used one of these masks in a long time. I do enjoy using this, but have found that it doesn’t really do much for my skin unless I’m masking more often. I’m starting to stray away from mask sheets these days. After doing my massive hoarding of masks I have found that I’m not using them as often as before, plus my skin care routine has been on-point to the point that my skin is in a good place. I don’t get that much break outs anymore, just here and there. These are accessible to me easily since there is a physical store but I don’t like how these mask sheets also have another plastic layer to it. I am trying to be a little more cautious of my plastic use, even trying to reduce my online purchases. So I don’t think I would be purchasing these again because of that and also because these do contain sodium hyaluronic which is an ingredient I am trying to avoid. rating: ***

2. Papa Recipe Bombee Honey Mask source: YesStyle thoughts: I still really like using these. Since these are super moisturizing, plus they give me a slight glow the next day. They also smell really nice. rating: ****

3. Nature Republic Real Nature Mask Sheet: Royal Jelly source: gift thoughts: “Royal jelly extracts provide nourishment and reduce wrinkles.” As soon as I opened the package I noticed there was an alcohol scent, lo and behold when I checked the ingredient list there was alcohol. I don’t think the aloe version had alcohol listed as an ingredient but it doesn’t really matter. These masks aren’t something I would gravitate towards anyways. rating: **

4. Nature Republic Iceland Watery Mask Sheet source: gift w/ purchase thoughts: “The mask sheet delivers moisture providing skin radiance.” The shape of this mask didn’t quite fit my face, plus it wasn’t that moisturizing. It does have a slight scent to it nothing too strong. Not something I would purchase but I do have a slight interest in the Iceland Line of products. However, I don’t know if I would every go and purchase it since there are always a newer/ less known brand that usually catches my eye. rating: **

5. The Face Shop Herb Day Cleansing Tissue (70 sheets) source: The Face Shop thoughts: I still really like these since they do remove pretty much all of my makeup. I also like that it has a light and fresh scent to it. I’m also trying to find an alternative to these, so that I can be a little more environmentally friendly and also save a few bucks. Hence, I’m going to use cleansing water and see how long that’ll last me compared to using these. I do use about 5-6 a week. So a big pack does last me about 2 months, which isn’t too bad. These do cost $14 CAD regularly, but I usually grab them at a discount. These would still be a staple in my stash but I probably would not purchase them as often now. rating:  *HOLY GRAIL!*

6. Troiareuke Cushion H+ C21 (15g) source: Troiareuke (S.Korea) thoughts: I really liked the A+ cushion and thought I’d give the H+ a try since it targets dry skin and is suppose to give a dewy look. However, I found that it didn’t do it for me. I felt like this actually made my skin a little drier and didn’t give me a dewy look at all; whereas the A+ one gave me a dewy look, hydration, and the coverage I wanted, plus a natural look. the A+ cushion definitely fits my skin type a lot better than the H+. rating: *

7. Urban Dollkiss It’s Real Hand Cream My Panda: Sweet Citron (1.06oz) source: gift thoughts: I love the scent of this hand cream, but it’s not a very moisturizing one. It does absorb very fast and is not sticky. It does say that it contains aloe vera extract and snail secretion filtrate but I would assume not too much since those are listed as the last two ingredients. Overall, it’s okay but not something I would go out of my way to purchase. rating: **

8. Jungle Botanics The Ecru Clay Soap (110g / 3.88oz) source: Wishtrend thoughts: I really enjoyed using this soap and I felt with the cloth that it came with it provided an excellent exfoliation. It gave an amazing creamy lather which felt amazing on the skin. I would definitely repurchase this, however this is expensive and I don’t really like the fact that the cloth isn’t biodegradable/ compostable but you can definitely reuse it for other soaps. I do find that I used a lot more soap when it was in the cloth compared to just using it regularly. This soap took me 37 days to use up and I paid about $18CAD, which was the sale price including conversion. rating: ***

9. Simplistic Wonder Essence (5ml) source: YesStyle Free Gift thoughts: This was very liquid, like water. It’s hard for me to say if it did anything for my skin, but I did enjoy using this and may be one of the items I would try in the future. I do have one more of these mini bottles to go through. rating: ~

10. Pyunkang Yul Lotion (7ml / 0.23oz) source: StyleKorean thoughts:  I did enjoy using this more than the ATO lotion, however I did find it a little thick and sticky after application. I did use this on my body. I’m not sure if this sample is the same as the one I’ve tried before, but I do think it’s similar. rating: **

11. Kiehl’s Creme de Corps (5ml / 0.17oz) source: Sample thoughts: The texture of this reminds me of the klairs all in one lotion, which I do like. I don’t know if it’s my sample but this did have a weird scent to it, kind of like plastic. The colour of the cream reminds me of hollandaise sauce/ mayonnaise. I did find it moisturizing, but not something I would gravitate towards. rating: **

12. Rocky Mountain Soap Co. Soothing Shampoo: Vanilla Coconut (100ml) source: Rocky Mountain Soap Co. Member Free Gift thoughts: I brought this along with me on my travels back in September. The scent is okay not my favourite scent. I’m not sure if it really soothed but on my travels I used it as a body wash and shampoo. Upon returning from my travels I just used it as soap to hand wash certain garments. rating: **

13. Huxley Secret of Sahara Essence; Brightly Ever After (30ml / 1.01oz) source: YesStyle thoughts: I thought I’d give this a try since I really liked using the oil essence. I didn’t find as good of a result compared to the oil essence, but I did enjoy using this. This is also slightly more expensive than the oil essence, but with the oil essence I found that my skin really glowed. I’m actually trying to find a cheaper alternative to the oil essence but I haven’t found anything like it so far. The scent of this is like all other Huxley products, the cactus scent but this one isn’t as strong as the oil essence. This took me 60 days to finish and I used it every morning. rating: **

14. Skin & Lab Dr. Color Effect red serum (40ml / 1.35oz) source: YesStyle thoughts: I heard some good things about this, hence I bought it since it’s not that expensive. I didn’t really notice much of a difference nor was it really moisturizing. It does have a fruity/ fresh kind of scent to it, and it’s not heavily scented. This took me 64 days to finish, using it every night.  rating: **

15. B.Kimins Laboratories Bio-Maple Bamboo & Rice Facial Polish (120ml / 4oz) source: Sephora thoughts: I really liked this when I first tried a sample but over time I found that it wasn’t that great. I feel like it works better if you were to use it more often, but I only used it twice a week and didn’t feel much of a difference on my skin. It also looks like this product is no longer being sold as well. rating: **

16. Pyunkang Yul ATO Lotion Blue Label (250ml / 9.8oz) source: YesStyle thoughts: I did mention this product briefly up above and how I prefered the other one over this one. This one was really thick and took some effort to have it absorbed into my skin. I did not detect any scent from this. This was okay not something I would repurchase. rating: **

17. Dove dry spray deodorant: sheer finish (107g) source: Superstore thoughts: I used this as a shoe spray. My feet do sweat quite a bit especially during the summer months when I wear my TOMS. I have found in the past that my TOMS gave off a bad scent until I started spraying this in my shoes. This scent is very fresh and pleasant. rating: ***

18. Missha 100. Cotton Puff (100 pads) source: Miniso thoughts: These weren’t bad and they didn’t leave fluff around. I think I got a little use to using bigger sized cotton pads, hence I found these a little small for my liking. Absorbency-wise these were okay didn’t absorb too much, decent amount. I think I do prefer these a little more than the Daiso ones, however these are $3CAD if I remember correctly. I did buy a bag of Muji cotton pads for the same price and there are 180 pieces, so we shall see how those go and if they are better.  rating: ***

[yoon-river]

Questions about Stuff

Tagged by the wonderful @fuckmybiaslist, always a pleasure <3

1: Are you named after someone? No my mom just liked the name. My middle name is kinda like a generational thing, bc my mom’s sue and my grandmother’s susan, so I’m suzanne. My sister’s Marie, go figure. She could’ve been Hannah Suzannah which would’ve been amazing, but alas

2: When is the last time you cried? Probably the same thursday or friday from the last set of questions I answered lol

3: Do you like your handwriting? I think it’s cool. Everyone else in the world, however, thinks it’s abysmal lol

4: What is your favorite lunch meat? Leftover thanksgiving turkey. I live for it every year

5: Do you have kids? Just the 40 sons and daughters I fawn over on this blog, and my dog

6: If you were another person, would you be friends with you? I’d like to think so, I’m the funniest person I know, but people who remind me of me usually really annoy me so probably not 

7: Do you use sarcasm? lol

8: Do you still have your tonsils? Yeah when I was a kid I thought everyone had to get their tonsils taken out so I was really scared of it but they’re still in there. I don’t have my appendix tho which is kinda cool

9: Would you bungee jump? Nah I’ve heard bad things about it so probs not. I’d sooner skydive tbh lol

10: What is your favorite kind of cereal? Honestly I’ll eat p much any cereal but I think my favorite is cocoa puffs? or french toast crunch (I’m actually 8)

11: Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? nope

12: Do you think you’re a strong person? physically I am the weakest bitch you ever did see. Emotionally I’m either a physical embodiment of The Void or a bubble in a wind tunnel

13: What is your favorite ice cream flavor? I’m married to chocolate brownie but I have a passionate love affair with banana cream pie

14: What is the first thing you notice about people? I tend to pick up pretty quickly on whether or not a person and I would get along. 90% of the time I’m right. The other 10% has led to Problems lol

15: Red or pink? Red is a p aggressive color so pink

16: What is the least favorite physical thing you like about yourself? My hair’s gotten really thin lately? I wouldn’t have noticed but my mom pointed it out so now I’m really self conscious about it lol

17: What color pants and shoes are you wearing now? Dark blue

18: What was the last thing you ate? Blessed Chik-fil-a waffle fries <3

19: What are you listening to right now? Lonely is the Night by Billy Squier. It’s a classic rock kinda day

20: If you were a crayon, what color would you be?

22: Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone? my dad, who confirmed I wanted chik-fil-a, as if there’s a minute in my life where I don’t

23: Favorite sport to watch? I quite like soccer and tennis. I know right

24: Hair color? a thin dark blonde

25: Eye color? weird bluish greenish hazelish combo

26: Do you wear contacts? nah 

27: Favorite food to eat? chocolate forever

28: Scary movies or comedy? Comedy all the way (same)

29: Last movie you watched? I watched Pride and Prejudice (2005) the other day bc I was sick and and wanted to be reminded what true love really is (I fucking love P&P omg)

30: What color of shirt are you wearing? yellow and a purple hoodie. I look like a clown tbh lol

31: Summer or winter? Winter forever

32: Hugs or kisses? Hugs.

33: What book are you currently reading? I’m very slowly trudging through the Sorcerer’s Stone in spanish. It’s not as hard as I thought but it’s still an Ordeal  

34: Who do you miss right now? Rachelle (EWWWWW) but all of my friends really

35: What is on your mouse pad? a cute puppy with headphones (my sister bought it for me lol)

36: What is the last TV program you watched? Brooklyn Nine-Nine 

37: What is the best sound? ocean waves? 

38: Rolling Stones or The Beatles? I’m That Girl that has to say the Beatles lol but I love the Rolling Stones too

39: What is the furthest you have ever traveled? To the west Texas, to the north new New Jersey

40: Do you have a special talent? My party trick is writing people’s names in the International Phonetic Alphabet which is impressive for like 5 minutes 

41: Where were you born? Still Norfolk

I’ll tag @cm092123, @sau-dade, @eternalsquee, @caffeinehoseok, @seokjinsel (didn’t tag you at first bc fmbl already did but I felt bad about it lol) and whoever else :3

[kidsince95]

I was bored

Ask Me Stuff 😉 1.Full name Lizbeth Edith Soloache 😌 2.Zodiac sign Pisces 4eva👌🏾💕 3. 3 Fears Spiders, heights , and love 4. 3 things I love Ice cream , my dog , the park by my house ❤️ 5. 4 turns ons Cologne, big arms , messy hair annnnd knowledgeable 👌🏾 6. 4 turns offs Cocky, intimidators , bad breath and boogers 7. My best friend My mom❤️ 8.Sexual orientation Straight ... I think .. who knows 9. My best first date I don't think I have one . Obviously it wasn't the best if I can't remember . 10. How tall am I 5'2'' 😌 11.What do I miss His smile . 12. What time were I born I think it was 11:45pm ?? 13.Favourite colour Omg I think it's a very dark musty pink 14. Do I have a crush Yea I do actually ☺️ 15. Favourite quote No matter how you feel , get up , dress up , show up and never give up ❤️ 16. Favourite place The park 17. Favourite food Chineeeeeeese 18. Do I use sarcasm Whenever I do people can't tell lol so I just don't 19.What am I listening to right now The sound of someone moving around in their bed 20.First thing I notice in new person Their eye contact 21.Shoe size 7 22.Eye colour Really dark brown 23.Hair colour Really dark brown but I have highlights rn 24.Favourite style of clothing Baggy pants with a crop top and sandals 25.Ever done a prank call? Wooo back in the day 26.What colour of underwear I’m wearing now? Teal 😌 27.Meaning behind my URL Idk there's one really I was born in 1995 lol 28.Favourite movie Damn , it has to be the great gatsby with Leo 29. Favourite song Of all time ??? Hmm, we belong together by Mariah Carey haha 30. Favourite band Lincoln park 31.How I feel right now Mm nothing really . I've got the bubble guts :( 32.Someone I love My dad my sisters 33.My current relationship status Single 34.My relationship with my parents Great 👍🏽 35.Favourite holiday Halloween , if that's even a holiday 36.Tattoos and piercings? 3 tatts, 2 piercings 37.Tattoos and piercing i want My belly button , and a back and wrist tattoo 38.The reason I joined Tumblr I forgot it was sooo long ago 39.Do I and my last ex hate each other? I use to hate him , not anymore . Idk if he hates me tho . 40.Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? Yes I do 😊 41.Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? No 42.When did I last hold hands? A week ago with Alyssa ❤️ 43.How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? Mmmm maybe 3 hours if I'm doing my makeup very well. 44.Have I shaved your legs in the past three days? No actually 😬 45.Where am I right now? Sitting on the floor at work 46.If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? Uhhh I hope whoever I'm with lol 47. Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? It's either blasting or where I can hardly hear it . Yea it's blasting lol 48.Do I live with my Mom and Dad? Yes I do :) 49.Am I excited for anything? Foam wonderland on feb. 17 50.Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? No 51.How often do I wear a fake smile? I don't . I can't fake it I've tried 52.When was the last time I hugged someone? An hour ago . My co worker gave me a Valentine's Day candy :) 53.What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? It wouldn't matter cause he didn't really matter . 54.Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? Ummmm no ? 55.What is something I disliked about today? It was hard for me to go to sleep before work 56.If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? Hmmm....I think it'd be Lana del Rey . 57.What do I think about most? Julian .its getting less and less tho . Or dancing 58.What’s my strangest talent? I don't think I have one lol or I can't think of it rn 59.Do I have any strange phobias? Arachnophobia 60.Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Both haha 61.What was the last lie I told? I don't remember 62.Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? On the phone I guess 63.Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Both . I'm not too sure about aliens tho . At least not how they make them out to be in the movies 64.Do I believe in magic? I do actually . I hope I have a gift that's waiting to be discovered 65.Do I believe in luck? Yes I do 66.What’s the weather like right now? It's raining 67.What was the last book I’ve read? The secret 68.Do I like the smell of gasoline? Ew no 69.Do I have any nicknames? Liz or boregos 70.What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? Breaking my neck and the bass stage 71.Do I spend money or save it? Spend 72.Can I touch my nose with a tongue? No:( 74.Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me? My charger 75.Favourite animal? An orangutan 76.What was I doing last night at 12 AM? Texting mark 77.What do I think is Satan’s last name is? Trump 78.What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? Take care by drake . And the acoustic version by Florence and the machine 79.How can you win my heart? If you travel with me 80.What would I want to be written on my tombstone? I don't want a tombstone. I wanna be cremated 81.What is my favourite word Well. 82.My top 5 blogs on tumblr I forgot 83.If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? The whole world??? ... I hope everyone's having a good day lol 84.Do I have any relatives in jail? Probably 85.I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? All the powers lol 86.What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? Why didn't you love me back then .. 87.What is my current desktop picture? My sister at the airport 88.Had sex? Not lately 89.Bought condoms? Not lately 90.Gotten pregnant? Um no 91.Failed a class? Yea just one 92.Kissed a boy? Yes 93.Kissed a girl? Yes 94.Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? Idk I don't think so? 95.Had job? Yes 96.Left the house without my wallet? Ugh yea 97.Bullied someone on the internet? I don't think so 98.Had sex in public? Haha yea 99.Played on a sports team? Yea volleyball and softball 100.Smoked weed? Yea don't like it 101.Did drugs? Yea loved it 102.Smoked cigarettes? Yes 103.Drank alcohol? Yes 104.Am I a vegetarian/vegan? Nope 105.Been overweight? No 106.Been underweight? Yes think so 107.Been to a wedding? Yes 108. Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? Long time ago 109.Watched TV for 5 hours straight? Yea lol 110.Been outside my home country? Yes 111.Gotten my heart broken? Oh yea . 112.Been to a professional sports game? Baseball 113.Broken a bone? Yea :/ 114.Cut myself? Yea 115.Been to prom? Yes 116.Been in airplane? Yea 117.Fly by helicopter? No:O 118.What concerts have I been to? Haven't. 119.Had a crush on someone of the same sex? Yes once 120Learned another language? French . Kinda haha 121.Wore make up? Yeup 122.Lost my virginity before I was 18? Nope 123.Had oral sex? Yaaaaa 124.Dyed my hair? All the time 125.Voted in a presidential election? No 126.Rode in an ambulance? Yes 127.Had a surgery? Yes 128.Met someone famous? No not really 129. Stalked someone on a social network? Uh no lol 130.Peed outside? Yea 131.Been fishing? Yea 132.Helped with charity? No 133.Been rejected by a crush? Yea 134.Broken a mirror? Eee yea 135.What do I want for birthday? Nothing 136.How many kids do I want and what will be their names? I don't want any 137.Was I named after anyone? No 138.Do I like my handwriting? It's coo 139.What was my favourite toy as a child? Winnie the Pooh bear 140.Favourite Tv Show? Power puff girls 141.Where do I want to live when older? Burbank 142.Play any musical instrument? No 143.One of my scars, how did I get it? I had surgery 144.Favourite pizza toping? Chorizo and jalapeños 145.Am I afraid of the dark? I use to be 146.Am I afraid of heights? Yes ma'am 147.Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? Yea all the time 148.Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? Think so . 149.What I’m really bad at Idk 150.What my greatest achievements are Loving myself 151.The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me You need to shave your vag 152.What I’d do if I won in a lottery Save it . Probably not . Probably go shopping 153.What do I like about myself Everything . 154.My closest Tumblr friend Alyssa 155.Something I fantasise about my ex Him coming back and apologizing to me

[venusblvd]

1-50

1. What was the last thing you googled? 'book about people on island' bc i forgot what We Were Liars was called😂
2. You have to listen to these songs: If Im lucky by State Champs & Bless The Broken Road by Rascal Flatts
3. Do you chew on your straws? yeah :/
4. Have you ever been awake for 48hours straight? lol i can't even stay awake for 4
5. Will you get married? if all goes well Do you see yourself getting married in the next 5 years? no, i want to have a stable job first
6. If you could move somewhere else would you? yes, so fast
7. Read on a Kindle or paperback book? paperback
8. If money was no object, what would you do all day? eat
9. University or life experience, which do you feel best prepares you for life? life experience 
10. What is the one thing that should be taught in school that isn’t already? why self love is so important, why being nice to others is so important, why it's important to be so open minded, and a lot of other shit that people just don't get 
11. If you could go back in time, what year would you travel to? i'd stay here
12. When you have 30 minutes of free-time, how do you pass the time? nap or read
13. What’s the best/worst gift you’ve ever given/received? i don't remember 
14. What was the first thing you bought with your own money? i don't remember, probably food
15. What would your parents be surprised to learn about you? it's not a phase
16. Apologize or ask permission? ask permission 
17. Beach vacation or European vacation? beach for sure 
18. What is the ideal number of people to have over on a Friday night? 10
19. Who is a non-politician you wish would run for office? me
20. If you could have any superpower, what would it be? mind reading 
21. What do you usually think about right before falling asleep? how good my life is
22. Ever been addicted to a iOS/android game? Which one(s)? nope
23. List 5 goals on your life’s to-do list: go to penn state, become a teacher, marry my soulmate, have kids, have lots of puppies 
24. If you HAD to change your name, what would you change it to? Alexa
25. What is one thing you will never do again? 
let someone walk all over me26. What words of wisdom would you pass onto your childhood self? cherish time with family
27. If you could speak another language, which would it be and why? maybe to know español better, it's such a pretty language 
28. If you were head of a major TV station for one day, what would you play? um, what?
29. Which one of your friends would make the best U.S. President and why? me bc im me
30. What’s your favorite holiday and why? christmas bc best food, family time, and sweaters
31. How would you survive a zombie apocalypse? lol no
32. In what ways are you the same as your childhood self? im still a hopeless romantic 
33. If you could master one skill you don’t have right now, what would it be? cooking
34. What was your dream job growing up? police officer
35. If you could live forever, how would you spend eternity? making people happy
36. If you could bring one musician back from the dead, who would it be and why? elvis bc he's the fucking best
37. What was the last picture you took with your phone? sunset, the usual
38. What kind of sickness have you lied about so you wouldn’t go to work? flu
39. What was the last lie you told? 'you're right' 
40. What is your perfect pizza? veggie
41. What question do you hate to answer? 'did you know your initials spell out DAD?' no i fucking didn't, only had this name my whole life tho
42. What keys on a keyboard do you not use? x
43. Who would you most like to be stuck in an elevator with? selena gomez
44. Is there anything purple within 10 feet of you? What is it? im too lazy to check
45. When was the last time you ran/went for a jog? today i ran to give this guy his straw that he forgot
46. Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days? no
47. What after school activities did you do in high school? powder puff, soccer, track, and basketball
48. What ice-cream flavours do you love/hate? love oreo and strawberry, hate everything else honestly 
49. What is your secret recipe? what?
50. What channels do you have subscribed on YouTube? a lot