#i asked to draw them a long time ago but i was so busy *cries*

[usernameforaboredcat]

My Heart Can’t Handle You (Koby X CivilianReader)

Koby introduces his best friend to his girlfriend and his girlfriend to his best friend, would be easy if they litterally didn't make each others hearts explode!

It had been a long week of training for the two marines filled with training and dealing with the usually pirate antics of crime. But even will all the work he has to worry about, Koby had a more important thing (to him at least) on his mind. His sweet sweet adorable girlfriend that he's absolutely head over heels for. His best friend Helmeppo knew that something was up, that there was that same one thing that he would catch the pinkette staring off into the clouds thinking about.

~

"So, spill it!"

"H-Huh?".

The blonde rolls his eyes at his friend, like he could tell that anyway. "For the past few months you go off daydreaming, and this week has been the worst! So come on, what's on your mind so much?". He asks. The pinkette turns away with a chuckle, a colour the same shade as his hair colouring his cheeks. "Well...I guess there IS something, well...someONE". He admits. Helmeppo gasps, turning to look at his friend with shock. "You have a girlfriend!?". He yelps. Koby chuckles again softly, his cheeks darkening more at just the thought of her.

His blonde friend wraps his arm around his friends shoulders, pulling him close with a big smirk. "So who's the lucky lady? Is she a marine? Civilian? *GASP* A pirate?! Is she hot?". He asks Koby. "She's just a civilian, we met a few months ago". He explains. "And-". His face is full red, big beating hearts in his eyes. "She's the most beautiful, gorgeous and stunning woman in the world! Her beauty beats Boa Handcocks! And she's also so sweet and kind, she has the biggest heart in the world for anyone and everyone to be loved by such an angel!". He rants, stars and sparkles surrounding him.

His friend hums pleasantly, using his free arm to grab his chin and nods. "So she's a knockout, huh?". He mutters to himself. "You can meet her if you like? We're free and she should be finishing up at work soon". Koby suggests. A chance to meet a beautiful sweet woman? Absolutely! "Of course". Helmeppo agrees. "Great! Let's go!". And with that, Koby grabs his hand and drags him off into town.

~

The sun is still high in the sky by the time the two marines reach the small flower shop in town. As they approach, Koby grins brightly as he sees a familiar young lady standing outside arranging a bouquet of freshly cut flowers. "(Y/n)!". He calls, not loud enough to draw too much attention. Said girl turns, her face brightening when she sees him. "Koby!". She calls happily, jogging up to him. He catches her in his arms, hugging her tightly before pulling away. "It's good to see you! How have you been my strong handsome marine?". She asks, reaching up to cup his face and squish his cheeks. He chuckles at her sweet words. "I'm good I'm good, just a busy week as always". He explains.

She giggles and lets go of his cheeks, just cupping them. "Well you can be as busy as you need. I'll wait however long I need to see you, because I know you're getting big and strong to protect everyone!". She tells him in a happy tone. "Ah! I'm so proud of you! You're so amazing and adorable!". Her pitch becomes more high, starting to slightly cry. Koby smiles down at her, his eyes starting to dwell up with tears of his own. "You're so sweet for me! I don't deserve the amount of kindness from your heart that you give me! I'm so happy that I make you so proud!". He cries. The two pull each other closely, crying into each others arms.

And while all this is happening, poor Helmeppo is just watching the happy couple cry into each others arms, showing and saying how much they really love and adore one another.

"I need to get a girlfriend".

[hollandroos]

Liar / Spencer Reid

Paring: Spencer Reid X Reader Insert

Words: 900

Warnings: Angst Angst Angst. No happy ending

A/N: Now I know what you're all thinking.... Soph, since when do you write for criminal minds? well.... what do you think I watched religiously during my very painful pregnancy and the last five months post partum?

Your packed bags fell against the door to what was once your shared home. Now it just felt empty. Empty draws, followed by an empty bathroom cabinet that once contained items that were now packed away tightly in a suitcase. Followed by an empty bedside table, and an empty mug cupboard because you bought every single one of those prized mugs - and you’d be damned if he expected you just to leave them behind. 

Spencer stood before you, eye bags partnered by the suit he must’ve worn home on the jet - the same one he left in three days ago. The same one you had ironed just five days ago, and snuck a loving note in the front pocket. You wondered if he got it. If he had, he hadn’t mentioned it. 

Be safe, I love you. Please eat. 

You’d thought it’d be cute if you sprayed the paper with a spritz of one of your perfumes… the one he used to compliment you on every time you wore it. Somewhere down the line he must’ve grown tired of it. He’d stopped complimenting your perfume long ago.

Come to think of it, he hadn't complimented anything about you in a long while. You merely felt like a side gig in Spencer Reid's busy, ever chaotic life.

“What are you doing?” He asks softly. His eyes rack your bags before landing on your tear stricken face.

You swallow, however the lump in the back of your throat refuses to budge. 

“What does it look like I’m doing?”

“It looks like you’re leaving me.”

Spencer shoves his hands into his pant pockets, gripping tightly onto an old lip balm and a foreign hair tie. He looks exhausted. You want to crawl into his arms and beg him to get some well deserved rest. Rest that you needed too. God you needed rest.

“Spenc-”

“And considering it’s just gone two am, I’d assume you were trying to slip out before I got home because you couldn’t tell me yourself.”

“You’d assume correctly.” You straighten out, feeling your eyes well up with tears that were so goddamn close to spilling over. “I’m sorry.”

Maybe if you cried he’d beg you to stay, promise to fix it and try harder. You imagine he’d beg you to crawl into bed with him and sort it out tomorrow when you both weren’t so sleep deprived. You’d both shimmy under the covers and get that sleep in you’d been craving. The reality is however, you’d probably wake up and the space next to you would be cold again. And you’d be alone once more. 

Truth be told you didn’t sleep very much while Spencer was away. Your bed felt so much colder, and the genius wasn’t all that good at using his phone so you’d wait and wait for a text from him, just to let you know that he’s okay and before you knew it the sun would be coming up and your phone hadn’t pinged once.

You wondered how often you crossed the man's mind while he was away, because he crossed yours plenty. It seemed as though you were a foreign thought. 

“Are you?” He raised a brow, not much emotion crossing the man's face. It made your blood boil, because if he did love you as much as he once claimed he wasn’t very good at showing it.

You tried to remember when you first noticed his love for you fizzle out. Maybe it was when he stopped opening doors for you first, or complimenting your new outfits. Maybe it was when he started to sneak out of bed in the morning without giving you a kiss and a feeble I love you. Or when rereading the books he’d already ingrained into his memory became more enticing then a shower with you. 

Despite this, you never stopped your attempts at sharing your love with him. Dear god - you had so much of it to give, and he had been at the receiving end of it all. 

“Are you sorry?” You spit back, definitely harsher then you had intended. 

“Am I sorry?” He questioned, seeming awfully confused about the whole ordeal. If he wasn’t confused then he was just acting dumb. “Why would I - You’re the one trying to leave me in the middle of the night, why should I be sorry?”

“When did you stop loving me?”     

Spencers poker face finally breaks, however instead of breaking into a look of sadness, remorse, or anything of the sort it’s just confusion.

“I never stopped-”

“You’re not a liar, Spence, don’t start now.” 

With a heavy heart, tears now spilling freely down already damp cheeks and tight fists you grip the suitcase handles and haul your entire life out the door of your previously shared apartment. 

It’s crazy how you could pack up your entire life into two raggedy old suitcases. 

You wondered if it’d break Spencer's heart to find little pieces of you around the apartment - pieces that hadn’t been important enough to take with you. If maybe he’d cry when taking down photos of the two of you or miss your presence in your designated barstool at breakfast.

Tonight, Spencer would be the one sleeping in that cold, lonesome bed down the hall, while you cuddled up in some overpriced hotel sheets feeling heartbroken, yet equally proud for finally allowing yourself to walk away.

[netegf]

alive

pairing: ao'nung x reader

plot: when one of the tulkun dies, ao'nung reflects on his friendship with you and needs the truth to flow out like water.

word count: 1.5 k

The tulkun way forbade killing, but death would one day come to touch all things in this place. Ao’nung, perhaps better than some others, knew that. And still, his grief had a body of its own.

It stood by his sister who cried, remembering how the water of birth once covered this calf, then was so quickly absorbed by the hungry ocean. It stood by his mother and father who, like always, endured. Tall and firm, even in their pain. Sometimes he wished he could scream for them until his lungs burned out. But he was always under water - always screaming without sound.

It stood by you. Usually with many words to say, but tonight, quiet. He watches as you stare, tight-lipped, looking out into the glowing water with your arms crossed over your chest. He wonders if you’re trying hard not to say anything like he is. Or, maybe, you enjoyed this silence. Hearing everyone’s breathing. Rejoicing that they were alive.

He lets his elbow brush against yours and melts when you shoot him a small, but affectionate smile. He relishes in the way it clears his breathing. Your mouth twitches to mumble something his ears are not keen enough to catch, and it brings him back to a day he thinks he will remember forever.

That day – only a few weeks after your arrival to Awa’atlu. The one that made him see the same waters he saw everyday differently. He watched as you sat along the reef, playing with strings of wet seaweed, talking to the water like it would say something back. He watched the way the tide surged in rhythmic murmurs and wondered if it did.

He did not know you so well back then – too busy being broad-shouldered and indifferent. Too busy convincing himself that nothing could touch him. Busy trying to make himself believe that he could be happy that way.

Nonetheless, he knew you were struggling to adjust. He remembers asking you about Awa’atlu once, and you said that a new place felt good so long as there was the prospect of belonging. But when that dream crumbled, there was nothing left but anger and licking teeth.

He didn’t know what that meant back then. Now, he draws his tongue over the points of his canines and thinks he is angry. Maybe frustrated was a better word - at his cowardice. Even in that moment, so long ago, he's unsure he would’ve said anything had you not caught him lurking.

After your talk with the water, he watched you grab a rock off the shore and attempt to make it skip. He noticed how quickly it sank. Then, like nothing happened, you grabbed another. Tried again. Kept throwing. Again, and again, and again. He thought it was stupid. And courageous.

When your eyes flicked over to him, poised awkwardly behind a boulder, you didn’t look bothered so much as you looked confused. It didn’t help that his lips were fused shut. He hoped you couldn’t tell that his lungs were beating in his mouth.

All he could muster was a strangely poignant, “I-I saw you.”

“You saw me?” You repeated, brows raised.

“Talking to the water.” He added, wincing slowly when realized that it hadn’t made anything less weird.

You nodded your head slowly. “Right.”

He felt his body retract before his mind could even recognize, but stopped when he heard the playful lilt in your voice.

“Hey, do you know how to skip rocks?”

He remembers scoffing. “I am not a baby, so yes.”

Then he remembers you rolling your eyes. Turning to rip away from him. His chest erupting in a pain he didn’t know. The sand grains beneath his feet, suddenly in an hour glass, and his moment slipping.

“Wait,” he said, grabbing at your hands. They were strong and warm. “I mean, yes, I do. I can help you.”

You bit your lip. “Okay, then.” And smiled happily. “I will think of something to teach you in return.” He liked the way you said everything like it was a promise.

So much time had passed since then, and granted, you had taught him many things. Mostly, about the odd resilience of seeds. How his hands felt too light without yours in them. Even now, you were teaching him. That grief was not an end, but a new kind of beginning. To a time of remembering.

Looking forward to where his parents were gathered in front of the clan, torches blazing, he thinks to a time when he caught the shore sparkling.

Sea glass. You said it was the only good thing to come from the war with the sky people. Shards of glass from ships and other things, churning through the water, persisting through the salt, until they became the ocean’s jewels – shiny, round, and beautiful.  

Without thinking, he picked it up. Paying no mind to its sharp edges. The way it sliced through the tips of his fingers. He hissed in pain, and continued to do so, even after you arrived. Your touch was not particularly gentle.

“You know, I think you would be better at this than me.” You remarked, fumbling with the wraps that clumsily hugged at his wounds.

“I was getting it for you.” He pressed. “I think you owe it to me.”

You scrunched your nose. Leaning forward to tap at his temple, and smiling crookedly. “Note to self, fish boy. I like my sea glass without blood on it.”

He rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to your trembling hands. Running a finger over the wrapping, only to be surprised at how damp it was. He bit back a laugh. “And I like when my bandages are not soaking wet.”

You lurched forward, then, trying to remove them. Muttering something about how Tsireya, or his mother, could fix it but he slipped away from your touch, cradled his hands to his chest.

“Back off!” He barked in between laughs. “These are mine.” Silent for a moment. “The world’s worst tsahìk did them for me.”  

He remembers how long the word tsahìk hung in the air. The implication of it. How your face felt warmer when he hugged you as a ‘thank you’. How strange it was to hug you for the first time, but how it set a precedent. He silently thanks himself for having had the courage.

By the time the funeral is over, Ao’nung has a conviction. That he has energy under his skin, and that it is yours to have. That it is time to tell you about it. He sees you lingering where the water kisses the shore, at the place you always meet.

In the event of something rippling, the two of you shared a special kind of ceremony. You each picked a pretty rock, watched it get swallowed whole in the ocean’s mouth, and said aloud something you planned to do in the near future.

He pulls up behind you. Notes the rock already jumping like a small fire in your hand. You look to him with wide eyes, somewhat bleary from the tears you cried for the tulkun, but also fearless. Also beautiful.

“I’m going to ride tsurak.” You say, not skipping a beat.

Ao’nung feels his neck crane. “But you’re not a hunter.”

“You don’t think I can?” You look disappointed, and it hurts his heart.

He pauses for a moment. Not disbelieving, but contemplative. He thinks of the one who keeps throwing sinking rocks.

“No, I know you can,” he corrects. “That is why it is so scary… I will never hear the end of it.” Laughter thunders from his chest, urging you to send a slap to his shoulder. You laugh, too, until there is just the sound of uneven breathing.

“What’s yours?” You ask.

Not trying to pry, but the silence is strange and disarming. It feels like he is hiding right in front of you. You turn your cheek to catch his pupils, and watch as his forehead pinches with tension.

“No fair.” You pout. “I told you mine, you can’t flake out no-”

“I am going to court you.”

Maybe he expected your face to contort in some kind of shock, but he'd take that knowing glimmer in your eye every time. More than happy with your hands pulling up from your lap and bringing a vibrating warmth to his neck. Maybe the water had one day sucked out his secrets and told you. He can’t be sure, but he thinks you were waiting for this. For him.

“Can I teach you something?” You whisper.

Before he can nod a second time, you are kissing him. A kiss with everything in it. Your soft lips, and teeth, but no anger. That has his veins burning. Reminds him that he breathes air and it circulates through this body. That life, too, touched all things in this place.  

And if he only ever focused on how much the water took, he'd be remiss of how much it gave.

END.

a/n: <33 enjoy bbs!! reblogs/tags are so appreciated! 🪐

[4littlefishies]

The 36th Floor - Something to Cherish

satoru gojo x suguru geto

warnings: none

wc: 8.7k

previous chapter here

“Sugu, give me attentionnn. I’ll leave you alone after, I promise!” Satoru draws out his demand as he drapes his body over the chair that sits next to his couch. He would normally be sitting on the couch next to Suguru, but his spot is currently being taken over by numerous different stacks of papers. 

Suguru sits with one leg draped over the side of the couch with the other sitting up on the coffee table that’s also covered in an organized mess of papers. “Toru, I’m busy and we just ate dinner together not that long ago, and we both know that promise is not true.” He continues clicking away at his laptop as he talks. Satoru lifts his head up, looking over at him with a pout and his eyebrows furrowed. Suguru ignores the look that he knows he’s on the receiving end of and Satoru lets his head fall back over the chair once again. “Don’t you remember how busy we were before the Shanghai trip? I’m just as busy right now, if not more.” Suguru says, his voice still sweet in tone.

“But you’re leaving me.” Satoru whines.

“Yep, and I’m never coming back.” Suguru teases, the smirk loud in his voice. Satoru’s head shoots back up with a gasp.

“What?!” He cries out dramatically, playing along and looking at Suguru with wide eyes.

“You heard me.” Suguru finally looks over at Satoru, his bangs hanging in front of his face and the rest of his hair falling over his bare tattooed shoulders and chest. A sight that Satoru would look at all day if Suguru would let him.

“You’re coming back on Monday.” Satoru sits up, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. 

“Yes… and?” Suguru asks, raising his eyebrows and pressing his lips together, waiting for Satoru to finish his thought. 

“So you’re not never coming back.” Satoru says, very matter-of-factly, looking over at Suguru with raised eyebrows. 

“Wow, somebody should get you a detective award or something.” Suguru retorts flatly, raising his eyebrows as he looks back to his laptop screen. 

“Yeah, you’re right but Gugu, pay attention to meee.” Satoru draws out again just as he did the first time. Suguru takes a breath and lets it out with a long sigh before closing his laptop and setting it on the coffee table. As he consolidates his papers, Satoru is already standing up from his spot on the chair and cheerfully hurrying over to sit down on the couch next to Suguru. He immediately wraps his arms around Suguru’s shoulders, pulling himself in closer as he sits down and throws his legs across his lap.

Suguru wraps his arms around Satoru’s torso, pulling him more onto his lap and in for a deep kiss. Satoru smiles against his lips as they both breathe in deeply, letting out satisfied sighs into each other’s mouths. “It’s only for two nights, at least.” Suguru says sweetly, trying to make them both feel better as he pulls back, allowing Satoru to lay his head down in the crook of his neck. 

“But it’s the weekend! I won’t even have work to distract me until you get back!” Satoru shoots back.

“You’ll be fine. Why don’t you hang out with Shoko or something?” Suguru suggests as his warm hand makes its way under Satoru’s shirt to rub gentle circles on the smooth skin of his back. “Although, she might be in bed all day tomorrow after tonight.” He continues. They had gone out for their Friday night drinks, and Shoko was staying out with Utahime and Haibara when the two of them were leaving and heading back to Satoru’s for the night. 

Satoru reflexively calms at the feeling of Suguru’s hands on his back, his large hand warm against his skin. He stops for a moment, just feeling Suguru’s hand trace around in gentle circles before opening his mouth again. “Can’t Nanami take someone else?” He asks with a hint of irritation in his voice. “Why can’t he take one of the interns or something?” Suguru chuckles lightly at Satoru’s idea.

“Yeah? Would you rather Ino be in a cubicle next to you instead of me, too?” Suguru asks, continuing to rub his back softly and slowly. 

“You know that’s not what I meant… Why is he taking you?” 

“It’s kinda my job, Satoru.” Suguru cranes his neck to look at Satoru and raises an eyebrow at him, one corner of his mouth turned up in a smirk. “You jealous?”

“Yeah, of Nanami. He gets to spend all weekend with you.” Satoru lifts his head and says with a smile, making Suguru laugh lightly. 

“Yeah, well you’re the one I’m coming home to. Not him.” Suguru looks into Satoru’s eyes with a smile while Satoru’s cheeks warm at his comment, putting a grin on his face. “And you have me tonight and tomorrow morning too. It’s only 48 hours.”

“That’s so many hours though!” Satoru cries out as he buries his head back into Suguru’s neck. His arm is held around the back of Suguru’s neck as he hides himself there.

“You’ll survive.” Satoru groans at his response not being the answer he was looking for. “I promise I’ll talk to you as often as I can, okay?” Suguru says sweetly, his other hand now holding the back of Satoru’s head, lightly massaging at his scalp. The snow white hair is soft in between his fingers until he scratches lightly at Satoru’s undercut. The short hairs slightly tickle Suguru’s fingers as he runs over it, the feeling familiar and soothing.

“What if I just come with you?” Satoru suggests, trying to find any way possible to not have to be apart for ‘so many hours’. Suguru chuckles lightly at his desperate pleas, craning his neck once again and watching as Satoru closes his eyes, enjoying the feeling of Suguru’s head rub.

“Satoru,” He says, sounding like a stern mother, “You’re going to stay here and you’re going to have a good weekend without me.”

“But what if I don’t?”

Suguru shakes his head and lets out a sigh. “Then you don’t, I guess.” Satoru sits quietly, just the sounds of their breathing and soft music playing through the speakers. “I’ll see you Monday morning though… I’ll bring you breakfast.” Suguru says sweetly, trying to make Satoru feel better about him leaving for the weekend. 

Satoru kisses the side of Suguru’s head, feeling his soft hair against his lips. “You better.” He furrows his brows as he says it, his nose slightly scrunching with his cheeky smirk. “I’m really glad Nanami is finally seeing how good you are at your job.” Satoru says softly, changing the subject as he lifts his head once again. “You deserve a promotion.” Suguru smiles at his soft voice.

“You think so?” Suguru looks up at Satoru, their faces just inches apart. Satoru nods his head quickly.

Satoru reassures him, his voice soft and sweet. “Definitely. I think you should get his job.” Suguru chuckles at his ridiculous seeming suggestion. “Don’t laugh. You’d be really good at it. And… You’d probably get mad at me less than him for being late…” Suguru chuckles lightly before Satoru continues. “And you could bring your boyfriend on business trips with you.” He grumbles, still upset that Suguru’s leaving for the weekend.

“I beg to differ.” Suguru shoots back, pulling a laugh from both of them. “I think you’d piss me off just as much as you do him.” Suguru says, giving Satoru’s torso a tight squeeze and ignoring his latter comment. “At least I could really punish you for it though.” His voice is deep as he grasps Satoru’s hair, pulling his head back slightly to allow him to shove his face into his neck, leaving a few tender kisses behind before pulling back away. 

“Yeah?” Satoru asks shakily, trying to sound as if his body isn’t nearly melting at the feeling of Suguru’s lips on his neck. He grips onto Suguru’s arm tightly, feeling his cheeks heat up as he hums, satisfied at the feeling.

“Mhmm.” He hums with a smile. “Like when you’re distracting me from doing work that needs to be done.” He looks up at Satoru with an eyebrow cocked, trying to get him to understand the hint he’s giving. 

Satoru understands what he’s trying to say, but chooses to play dumb instead, trying to get his way. “Hm. Maybe you should do something about it then.” He says, looking down at Suguru with his bright blues half lidded. Lowering his face towards Suguru’s neck once more, but this time his lips press softly just underneath his jaw. He feels as Suguru’s hand presses harder against his back and smiles as he continues to leave tender kisses all over his neck. After a few moments longer, he sits back up, looking down at Suguru with a pout on his lips.

Suguru smiles at the sight, spreading his fingers out wide over Satoru’s back and pulling him in for one last kiss. He inhales deeply, taking in everything that Satoru’s giving him. Satoru’s lips are so soft against his own that he doesn’t mind when the kiss deepens and he feels Satoru’s hands tangled in his hair. He nips lightly at Satoru’s bottom lip, holding it lightly in between his teeth for a moment before letting go and looking up at him, their mouths still touching. “Why don’t you go pick some dessert?” He suggests against his lips, trying to get Satoru off of him so he can finish his work.

“Want you for dessert.” Satoru says, looking down at Suguru with a frown. He slowly moves his hips where he sits in Suguru’s lap, continuing to run his hands through his long dark silky smooth hair. 

“You really are just asking for it aren’t you?” 

“Yes, Suguru. That’s literally what I’m doing, thanks for finally noticing.” Satoru says back, his tone sarcastic. 

Suguru clicks his tongue and shakes his head. “In that case… No.” He deludes, looking up at Satoru with raised eyebrows as he waits for him to stand up. Satoru’s face drops as he realizes that he’s not going to get what he wants. 

“Don’t think that I can’t feel you getting hard under me.” Satoru teases as he reluctantly stands up and heads to the kitchen, pulling a soft chuckle from Suguru who can feel the heat in the tips of his ears.

“Shut up and bring something good back.” Suguru says, picking up his laptop once again to try and focus on his work and ignore the ache between his legs. For the rest of the night, Suguru stays sprawled out on Satoru’s couch, working on last minute preparations before having to head to the bullet train station in the morning. He was spending the night at Satoru’s place not just because it was closer to the station, but also so that he could spend more time with Satoru before leaving. He would never admit it out loud, but he’s just as clingy to Satoru as Satoru is to him; just a little better at hiding it.

The two of them finally relax into Satoru’s bed, up against each other under the covers. “How am I gonna sleep without my Suguboo?” Satoru asks, his voice quiet as he speaks into Suguru’s ear. Suguru’s back is pressed against Satoru’s chest, and Satoru drapes his arm over Suguru’s chest, pulling him close as if he’s going to run away. 

“Probably with your eyes closed.” Suguru says flatly, his eyes already closed and his hand resting on top of Satoru’s, holding it softly. 

“I’m gonna hide your shoes so you can’t leave.”

“You’re gonna-” He stops to laugh at the ridiculous comment. “You’re gonna what?”

“You heard me. I’m gonna hide your shoes so you can’t leave in the morning.”

“What a weirdly specific threat.” Suguru continues, still lightly chuckling as he says it. 

Satoru smiles into Suguru’s hair. “Good though, right?” He asks, trying to get affirmation that it was indeed a good idea.

Suguru sleepily laughs again. “Yeah that would be pretty good.” His thumb lightly caresses the back of Satoru’s hand before he gives it a light squeeze. He takes a long and slow breath and lets it out slowly. “I’m gonna miss you too, baby.” Satoru’s breath tickles the side of his neck just before he feels his soft lips leaving a kiss just above where his dragon tattoo ends. 

“I know… I just wish I could go with you.” Satoru says, sounding slightly defeated, but also tired from the long day.

“I’m sorry baby…” Suguru says. It rolls off his tongue like honey, immediately making Satoru smile at the way he calls him baby. “We’ll go on a trip together soon, okay?”

“Other than TDL, right?” Satoru asks, suddenly excited and wanting to make sure that he meant two separate things.

Suguru’s eyes grow heavier and heavier as he smiles, too sleepy to laugh anymore at this point. “Yes, Satoru, other than TDL.” 

“Where?” Satoru asks, now eager to plan a vacation with Suguru.

“We can talk about it when I get back, okay?” Suguru suggests, fighting to stay awake at this point. 

Satoru’s tired eyes widen at the possibilities. His mind starts racing with places that they could go. He makes it his mission to do research while Suguru’s gone and find where they should go on a trip. “Deal.” Satoru says softly, giving Suguru a light squeeze. “Goodnight Sugu.”

“Goodnight Toru.” Suguru grumbles, mostly asleep at this point. “I love you.” He manages to mumble out before almost immediately falling asleep. Satoru is not far behind and closes his eyes before pressing a soft kiss to Suguru’s shoulder and letting himself finally drift off to sleep. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Their Saturday morning looks very similar to how a normal weekday morning would when the two of them are together. Suguru’s alarm goes off and he gets out of bed while Satoru stays and sleeps a bit longer. He heads out to the kitchen to make his coffee and start on some breakfast. Satoru had offered to buy everything Suguru needed so that he could make his “fancy coffee” at his apartment. He of course found it difficult to refuse, but politely did anyways, knowing how much everything would cost. The next time he was at Satoru’s he noticed the new chemex, bean grinder, and milk frother on the countertop. He can’t help but smile every time he uses them, knowing that Satoru just wanted him to be happy in his home.

After he’s done, he makes sure to set some food aside for Satoru once he finally wakes up. He feeds Shiro while he’s up so that Satoru doesn’t have to worry about it later. After downing the rest of his coffee and cleaning out the mug, he heads back into the bedroom. 

Satoru remains under the blanket, but has migrated into the middle of his bed, sprawled out taking up as much space as possible. Suguru chuckles lightly at the sight as he heads into the bathroom, flicking on the bright vanity lights. “Satoru, if you want to shower, better do it now.” He calls out behind him as he goes to turn on the water. He runs a brush through his hair quickly before hanging on the doorway of the bathroom. “You coming?” He asks, seeing that Satoru has shifted in the bed.

“Mmmh.” He groans, still half asleep with his face still shoved into the pillows. Suguru chuckles to himself and heads back into the bathroom, slowly shedding his pants and stepping into the hot shower. He lets out a satisfied sigh as the water runs over his skin and saturates his hair, his bangs sticking to his forehead before he brushes them back out of his face. 

Suguru goes through his quick routine and is about to turn off the shower when Satoru finally joins him in the bathroom, eyes mostly closed and already stripped of his pajamas. He watches as Satoru pulls open the door and steps inside, eyes still closed and a sleepy pout on his lips. “Good morning my sleeping beauty.” Suguru says, using Satoru’s own words on him. Satoru hums from deep in his chest as he steps under the water, wrapping his arms around Suguru’s neck and laying his head down as if he’s trying to fall back asleep. Suguru smirks as he feels Satoru’s hard length pressed up against him.

“Have a good dream?” Suguru asks, a teasing tone apparent in his voice. Satoru stands up off of him and opens his eyes just enough to glare at Suguru. 

“Shut up…” Satoru grumbles, his voice gravely from sleep. “You were there, of course it was good.” Satoru stands under the water and closes his eyes once again, remembering the dream he was having and wishing he was still asleep. The dull throbbing between his legs isn’t going away; it’s practically begging for some relief. He hisses when he suddenly feels Suguru’s lips around his sensitive tip. His eyes shoot back open, now seeing Suguru kneeling in front of him. 

“I’m sorry for teasing you last night.” Suguru starts as he brings his hand up to wrap around the base. “Will you ever forgive me, Toru?” He asks, his tone teasing and completely unapologetic with his bottom lip stuck out in a pout. 

“Fuck.” He breathes out, his lips slightly parted as he looks down at the alluring view in front of him. Suguru presses soft kisses around Satoru’s hot tip, already beginning to leak precum. “You can’t apologize for teasing me by teasing me more, Sugu.” Satoru says, holding his hand underneath Suguru’s chin and looking down at him with begging eyes. He looks down at Suguru’s legs as he kneels, admiring how particularly strong and sculpted his legs looked at this moment. 

“Can’t I?” Suguru asks, still unapologetically kissing slowly down his length and leaving soft kisses on the front of his thighs. The smirk on his face as he looks up is enough to drive Satoru absolutely mad.

“Suguu.” Satoru whines, his hips reflexively jerking forward, chasing any kind of friction he can get. He’s fully awake now, brushing his dripping hair back out of his face as he looks down at Suguru who smiles slyly back up at him. 

Suguru watches the way Satoru squirms in front of him a moment longer before finally taking him into his mouth. He looks up through his eyelashes, their eyes meeting as Satoru lets out a satisfied moan, finally feeling the warmth and wetness of Suguru’s mouth wrapped around his needy length. 

Satoru keeps eye contact, letting out a low groan at the feeling. “Fuck, Sugu,” He starts, but is quickly silenced when Suguru starts taking him deeper with every stroke of his lips. “Holy shit.” He breathily moans out, his mouth hanging open as he watches himself fully disappear into Suguru’s mouth as he swallows the whole thing. He grips tightly onto Suguru’s shoulder, his fingertips desperately digging into the flesh. The feeling of the hot water falling on his back is pushed to the side, more important matters making him completely unaware that the water is even still on.

Looking up at him with innocent eyes, Suguru pulls off of him for a moment, continuing his pace with his hand. “You’re doing so good for me baby, are you gonna be a good boy and cum for me?” 

Satoru nods his head, holding his bottom lip in between his teeth. “Mmhm.” He whines, looking down at Suguru as he moves with a smile to replace his hand with his mouth once again. “Ah- ngh, fuck.” He whimpers, his legs starting to feel like jelly underneath him. He brushes his fingers gently through Suguru’s hair on both sides of his head, gathering all of his hair and holding it in his fist at the back of his head. “My Sugu- ah- my- Sugu’s so pretty.” He manages to choke out as he holds his hair, watching amazed at the way he takes all of him into his mouth. He can’t help but buck his hips forward, letting out another moan as he feels his tip hip the back of Suguru’s throat.

He looks down, as if to apologize, but Suguru is looking back up at him with inviting eyes. Suguru nods his head, knowing that the both of them have the same idea. Without even giving it a second thought, Satoru starts moving at his own pace while Suguru stills, relaxing his throat more and letting Satoru continue. The bathroom is quickly filled with Satoru’s moans and lewd noises as he lets himself go.

Suguru’s fingers grip tightly onto the back of Satoru’s thighs, helping to hold him up as he lets him fuck into his throat. He’s more than happy to let Satoru abuse the back of his throat with his throbbing tip, contently watching as Satoru’s eyes roll back in his head and his eyelashes flutter rapidly, barely able to stand from the feeling. “Ah, fuck fuck fuck.” Satoru mewls, nearing the edge of his climax. The feeling of his grip on Suguru’s hair is more than enough to tell him that Satoru’s almost there. “Gonna cum- ha, ah fuck- Sugu, cumming!” He shakily cries out as Suguru feels him twitching in his mouth and cumming down his throat. His hips slow as Suguru picks back up for him, sucking and swallowing every drop that Satoru has to give him. 

Satoru grabs onto Suguru’s shoulder with his free hand, his legs feeling like they could give out at any moment. He lets out a breath with a shudder, closing his eyes and breathing heavily as Suguru stands up in front of him. “You think that’ll hold you off until Monday?” Suguru jokes with a sly smirk. 

Satoru smiles, still panting as he wraps his arms around Suguru’s shoulders, pulling him in for a long kiss. He feels Suguru’s arms wrap around his waist and pull him even closer, still helping to hold him upright. “I think you just made it harder for me to let you leave.” Satoru whispers against Suguru’s lips. They both smile before Suguru leaves him with one more quick peck before turning around and squeezing as much water out of his hair as he can, preparing once again to get out of the shower. 

“Okay, we gotta get out now.” He says, reaching for the shower door.

“Wait! You distracted me and I haven’t even done anything I need to in here.” Satoru protests, trying to hold the door closed. 

“Satoru, I have to dry my hair. You can stay in, but I’m leaving here at 8 with or without you.” Suguru says, letting Satoru know he’s completely serious with just his face. Satoru nods his head and lets go of the door, letting Suguru pull it open. The next thing heard is a slap that rings out throughout the steamy bathroom, and Suguru immediately feels a sting on his ass. He turns around only to see Satoru standing under the water with a shit eating grin. He looks back at him with a straight smile and an eyebrow cocked, just his face alone saying ‘really?’

Before Satoru can do anything to protect himself, Suguru steps back into the shower and starts tickling him relentlessly. When he can’t think of anything else to get Satoru back for whatever he’s doing or done, usually then Suguru resorts to tickling him instead.

“Sugu, no!” He starts, his irrepressible laugh filling the bathroom. “I didn’t mean it, I didn’t mean it! Sugu no!” He does his best to push Suguru away, but finds himself feeling too weak to do anything. “No really! I’m gonna piss my pants!” He cries out, despite still being in the shower and not wearing any pants. He’s doubled over, trying to shield himself, his core still sore from his recent orgasm and now from the uncontrollable laughter. 

Suguru stops after that comment, shaking his head with a smile. “Stupid.” He chuckles softly. “Hurry up.” He says as he opens the door behind his back, not trusting that Satoru wouldn’t smack his ass again. Satoru turns back around, grabbing his shampoo from the shelf when Suguru smacks his ass hard enough to leave a mark.

“Ah!” Satoru yelps out, the bottle falling to the ground with a loud bang. He whips his head around to Suguru who’s already out of the shower with the door closed behind him. “I did not hit you that hard!” Satoru shouts, the glass slightly muffling his voice as Suguru dries himself off.

“Thought I’d give you something to cherish while I’m gone.” 

“Most people leave a love note, flowers, hell, maybe even something sweet! But no, I’m left with a five star at 28 years old.” Satoru continues rambling on and on while Suguru continues his after shower routine. 

“If you want, I can give you a matching one on the other side.” Suguru suggests sarcastically, turning around to look at Satoru as he hears the water shut off. Satoru opens the door and steps out, quickly drying himself off and joining Suguru at the counter as he dries his hair. He looks at Suguru, making eye contact with him in the mirror. He doesn’t say anything, just wiggling his eyebrows as he hangs up the towel. As soon as he turns around, Suguru leaves a hard smack on the other side of his ass. 

Satoru immediately responds with an overdramatic fake moan, looking at Suguru as it leaves his mouth. Suguru tries to contain his chuckle, pressing his lips together and shaking his head. “Idiot.” He says with a smile as he meets Satoru with his hands going to rest on his bare hips before their lips meet. Satoru rests his hands in the same spot on Suguru’s hips as they share a slow tender kiss. Satoru’s fingers fidget with the towel that’s tied low on his hips, sticking his thumbs between the towel and his skin before loosening it enough that it falls to the floor. Suguru smiles against Satoru’s lips as he feels it fall away before pulling away and bending over to pick it up, the smile still on his lips. “Get dressed.” He says, hanging it up and heading out of the bathroom. Satoru lets out a groan before following him into his closet to get dressed. Once they’re both dressed, Suguru looks like he’s ready to go to work, while Satoru looks like he’s ready for a run through the park. 

“Sugu?” Satoru asks, knowing that Suguru is about to do his hair. Suguru looks over at him from where he stands behind the couch, waiting for Satoru to finish his sentence. “Can I brush your hair?” He asks, looking down at the brush in Suguru’s hand.

Suguru is caught slightly by surprise, but smiles at the question before looking down at his watch. Much to his delight, they’re running a little bit ahead, so he happily agrees. He sits down in one of the arm chairs by the window and drapes his hair over the back, letting it flow down freely. Satoru pulls the other chair up behind the one Suguru sits in and sits down, spreading his knees wide and leaning forward. He starts at the ends, gently brushing them out and working his way up until he’s slowly brushing from Suguru’s scalp all the way down to the ends. Suguru lets out a satisfied sigh, letting his head fall back as Satoru continues brushing, the bristles feeling good against his head. He remembers back to the first time Satoru had asked to brush his hair and what a mess that was. In mere seconds, he somehow made it worse than it was to begin with, and Suguru was sure he had a bald spot somewhere from Satoru pulling so hard. After that disaster, Suguru then taught him how he should brush his hair. “You’re so good at this, baby.” Suguru praises sweetly, leaning his head back even more to look up at Satoru with a smile on his face.

Satoru smiles wide and drops the brush to his side before leaning down to kiss Suguru, their noses hitting each other’s chins as their lips come together. Satoru goes back in for two, three kisses before standing back up and finishing brushing out Suguru’s hair before handing the brush back to him. 

“Thank you, baby.” Suguru says, his voice quiet yet just as sweet and syrupy as ever as he takes the brush from him. He had taught Satoru how he ties his hair up as well, but he usually just preferred to do it himself so that it was exactly how he wanted it every time. 

The summer morning air is warm, it being the middle of July. The light breeze makes the light beaming down from the sun feel absolutely perfect. After they begin on their way to the bullet train station, Satoru grabs Suguru’s bag from him, carrying it for him as they walk. “I can carry that, Toru.” Suguru says, looking over and shoving his hands into his pockets as they walk down the sidewalk.

“Yeah, but I’m the stronger one, so I should carry it for you.” Satoru says confidently, his chest held proud as he carries the bag that a kindergartener could carry with no issue.

“You’re the stronger one?” Suguru asks, his eyebrows raised in surprise.

“Of course I am!”

Suguru lets out a scoff that turns into a chuckle. “I’d like to see how you would prove that.” 

“Oh I don’t need to prove it, it’s just the truth.” Satoru says, seeming like he’s even convinced himself. Suguru smiles with his tongue in his cheek. 

“Whatever you say, dear.” Suguru says with a hint of sarcasm in his voice, shaking his head as they continue towards their destination. 

“Don’t say that like you don’t believe it.” Satoru says, raising his eyebrows at Suguru.

“Until you can give me hard proof, I’m not buying that for a second. Maybe between you and Shoko, because I know you don’t mean between the two of us.” Suguru continues on with a light laugh. 

Satoru furrows his brows and twists his mouth to the side, sticking his free hand into Suguru’s pocket to grab his hand and lace their fingers together as they walk. Suguru smiles, pulling their hands out of his pocket and giving Satoru’s hand a squeeze. The station comes into view as they quickly approach the large red building covered in white windows. They make their way inside the busy station along with the myriad of people coming and going. 

Suguru takes his bag back from Satoru as they approach an empty bench. He sets it down and quickly texts Nanami to let him know where he’s at before turning to look at Satoru with a soft smile. “I love you.” 

“I love you too, my sweet.” Satoru says, wrapping his arms around Suguru’s shoulders and pulling him for a tight hug and kissing him on the cheek. “Have a good trip, but don’t have too much fun without me.” 

Suguru chuckles just before their hug breaks apart. “I’ll try not to.” He says, looking at Satoru with a soft smile, not ready to leave him just yet. He leaves a quick peck on Satoru’s lips, not wanting to do much more in such a busy place. “You have a good weekend, okay? Enjoy your run, I’ll get you something good from Kyoto.” Satoru nods his head with a smile before pulling Suguru in for one last hug, squeezing him extra tight before letting go.

Suddenly, Satoru’s eyes widen as he looks over Suguru’s shoulder to see Nanami from a distance, walking in their direction. Suguru turns over his shoulder to see him, waving as he approaches. “Good morning Nanami!” Satoru says with a big smile on his face.

Nanami presses his lips together, taking a deep breath as he makes it to them. “Good morning, Gojo.” He says dully with a straight smile before looking over to Suguru as well. “Good morning, Geto. Ready to go?” 

“Yep!” He says before quickly turning and leaning back towards Satoru. Nanami turns to look in the direction they need to head to get to their train while Suguru rests his hand on Satoru’s hip for a quick second as he whispers a hurried, “Love you, bye.” 

“Bye.” Satoru whispers back before their lips meet one last time with a quick peck before Suguru turns back around to Nanami, following him to where they need to go. 

Satoru watches as they walk towards their platform, waving at Suguru with a smile when he turns around one last time before disappearing out of sight. He takes a deep breath and lets it out with a forced sigh, turning and heading back towards the front doors. Reaching into his pocket, he takes out his headphones and sticks them into his ears before opening his phone and finding his playlist that he runs to. He presses play and takes off, running back towards his apartment to start off his weekend without Suguru.

~~~~~~~~~~

Suguru and Nanami make it onto their train with plenty of time to spare, both of them being pretty punctual people. Suguru definitely didn’t want to relive the nightmare of running through the airport on his and Satoru’s trip to Shanghai, so he made sure to be there early. They get settled into their seats, Suguru sitting in the one closest to the window, and both pull out their laptops, prepared to work during the couple hours it takes to get to Kyoto. 

The train just starts to pull away when Suguru’s phone vibrates on the tray in front of him. He picks it up and reads the text from Satoru.

‘We miss you already!’ 

The text is accompanied by a picture of a very sweaty but smiley Satoru and a peaceful looking Shiro. He smiles before setting it back down, not wanting to be on his phone while Nanami is working right next to him. He takes a deep breath and lets it out with a sigh, trying to rid himself of the tight feeling in his chest, already missing Satoru and wishing he were here with them. Not even just as his boyfriend, but as coworkers. Satoru made the work day much more bearable and entertaining, making it seem to pass by quicker.  

“Everything alright?” Nanami asks, noticing the sigh that Suguru lets out as he sets his phone back down to the side of his laptop.

“Yeah, it’s just Satoru…” Suguru responds sheepishly. The entire office knows about their relationship at this point, but he still feels kind of awkward talking about it to their boss. 

Nanami chuckles lightly, taking a moment to breathe before speaking up again. “My wife’s the same… I mean, I go away for work all the time but she never makes it easy to leave.” He has a smile as he says it, thinking about her. 

“No kidding.” Suguru says with a breathy chuckle. He feels slightly better thinking about how he’s feeling. At least it’s not just me. 

“It just makes coming home even better, though.” Nanami adds, noticing the tenseness and hoping his words give Suguru some comfort. 

Aside from this brief departure, their conversation stays about work the entire time; going over numbers, ways that Suguru can help Nanami better while they’re there, things that they can talk about if they get asked about x, y, or z. They were prepared for anything. The two and a half hours seem to go by in a flash and before either of them know it, the train is approaching their stop. They gather their things and make it off quickly and head out towards the front of the station to find their ride.

Once they make it into the car, Nanami lays out their plan for the day. “We’re staying in the same hotel that the conference is in, so that’s a plus.” He explains. “We’ll drop off our things and then head to our first meeting in the conference hall.” 

Suguru makes note of all the times Nanami is explaining. He’s glad to learn that their day is going to be over by 7 and their first meeting tomorrow isn’t until 10, so he doesn’t have to get up super early either. He quickly texts Satoru right before they make it to the hotel.

‘Just made it to the hotel’ His fingers quickly type out another message. ���I’ll text you when I can 🖤’

Satoru’s response almost immediately comes back. ‘Shiro’s already telling me how much she misses u ☹️’

Suguru smiles down at his phone, sending his final response as they pull up to the hotel. 

‘Tell her I miss her just as much’

The two of them make it inside with all of their belongings and Nanami gets them checked in. “Good thing I had Ijichi get us an early check in time.” He says, handing Suguru the key to his room. Their rooms are up on the 7th floor, so they head towards the elevator. The lobby is filled with people, similarly to them, there for the conference. The chatter of the crowd is muffled and fades as the elevator doors close, taking them up to their floor. 

“You’re in 716 and I’m right across the hall in 717.” Nanami says as they round the corner after exiting the elevator into the hallway. Suguru follows him down towards their rooms before heaching his. “Meet downstairs in-'' he looks down at his watch, “15 minutes?” Nanami says as they both turn to open their doors. 

“Yes sir.” Suguru says with a smile as they both head into their separate rooms. Suguru closes the door and sets his bag down before turning on the light. He looks at the single bed in the room and is immediately brought back to the Shanghai trip with Satoru. He chuckles lightly to himself, all these months later still unable to believe that Shoko convinced Ijichi to get them a room with only one bed in it. He opens the curtains, looking out at the view and letting some light in before he lays down on top of the covers, stretching out with a groan after sitting for so long on the train. He pulls his phone out of his pocket to see that Satoru had responded to his text.

‘Her daddy misses you more 🥺’ 

Suguru rolls his eyes with a smile. There’s my Satoru. His fingers quickly work to facetime Satoru. He’s not surprised when it doesn’t even finish ringing once before Satoru answers. 

“Hi Sugu!” Satoru exclaims, a wide smile on his face and his eyes nearly squeezed shut from it.

“Daddy? Really?” Suguru asks, raising his eyebrows at Satoru through the screen, a slight smirk on his face. He holds the phone above his face as he lays back on the bed. 

“I’m Shiro’s daddy, Suguru, whether you like it or not.” Satoru responds. Suguru lets out a sigh that turns into a chuckle. “How was the ride?” He continues, genuinely wanting to know how Suguru’s been in the 4 long hours they’d been apart. 

“It was good. We finished pretty much everything we needed to, so we’re all set for today.” Suguru brings his arm up to slide his hand under the back of his head. “What have you been up to?” Suguru was also curious as to what Satoru was doing without him. He watches as Satoru walks around his living room and eventually plops down in the chair next to his couch. 

“I’m going over to Shoko’s in a little while, but I think I’m gonna head over to the cafe and grab some lunch before I go.” Satoru holds the phone in front of his face, looking past the screen and down at the ground where Shiro looks up at him. 

“Tell Yuji I say hi.” Suguru says, knowing that if they aren’t there together, Yuji will ask where the other is. “So, Sho’s not hungover, I take it?”

“Don’t think so. Not enough to not hang out at least, but we’re just gonna be at her place anyways… When’s your first meeting?” Satoru asks, smiling at Suguru through the screen. 

“I’m meeting Nanami downstairs in 10 minutes.” Suguru explains, looking at the time, making sure it isn’t secretly moving faster than he realizes. “I’ll call you again when I’m done, okay?” 

“I will be patiently awaiting your call.” Satoru says sweetly. 

“Both of us know you will not be patient.”

“What can I say? I miss my Sugu.” 

Suguru chuckles lightly at his response. “Satoru, we haven’t even been apart for half a day.”

“But I still miss you!” 

“We’re apart for longer on days when I don’t sleep over.”

“Yeah but at least we’re in the same city!” Satoru exclaims, trying to explain his reasoning. “And you’re not busy with work!”

“I know, I know…” Suguru takes a deep breath and lets it out with a sigh, a soft smile on his face. “I miss you too, baby.” Satoru smiles back at him.

“And we haven’t gone more than one night in a row without sleeping together in months! And now I have to do two?! It’s madness!” Satoru shouts, going back to his previous point.

“Oh, the horror.” Suguru plays along, a soft smile on his face as he watches how Satoru’s dramatic expressions and movements translate through the phone.

“I’ll start a worldwide movement.” 

“Toru, I’ll be home before you even get that started.” 

“Is that a challenge?” Satoru raises his eyebrows with an excited look on his face.

Suguru laughs, shaking his head as he sits up. “Not at all, actually.” 

“Good.” Satoru starts. “I could definitely do it, but that sounds like a lot of work.” Suguru chuckles lightly before Satoru speaks up once more. “Okay sugarplum, I guess I’ll let you go to your big important work meetings.” Satoru says with a teasing tone in his voice. 

Suguru smiles at the nickname, always excited to hear what new things Satoru will come up with. “I’ll talk to you once I get back up here later, okay?” He stands up and starts to slowly and aimlessly pace around.

“You better!”

“I will, I promise.” Suguru chuckles lightly at Satoru’s enthusiasm. “Have fun with Shoko, tell her I say hi.”

“I will, Sugu. I love you, have a good meeting!”

“I love you too, baby. I’ll talk to you later, bye.”

“Bye!” Satoru peeps out just before their facetime ends.  

Suguru sets down his phone on the bathroom counter and brushes out and reties his hair back up, wishing that Satoru was here to brush it again as he did earlier in the morning. He lets out a sigh before slipping his phone and wallet into his pocket and heading out the door, ready to head downstairs and meet Nanami to really get their day started.

~~~~~~~~~~

“I thought you were bringing food.” Shoko says, looking unimpressed at an empty handed Satoru that stands at her front door with her eyebrows furrowed and her arms crossed.

“Happy Saturday to you too!” Satoru says, making his way past her and inside her apartment. “Why d’you look like you died and came back to life?”

Shoko scoffs, shuffling behind him with a rotten face as he heads through the kitchen and into the living room to sit himself down on the couch. “You are getting us food, right?” She asks, choosing to ignore his obnoxious question and getting right to the point. Falling into her normal corner spot on the couch, she looks at Satoru, impatiently waiting for an answer.

“Of course. I wanted to wait to see what you were feeling before getting anything.” Satoru responds, looking up at the tv to see what Shoko was watching. “What is this?” He asks, nodding his head up at the tv, curious as to what he’s looking at. 

“The Bachelorette.” She says quickly brushing off the question, trying to focus on more important matters. “So what are we getting for dinner?” 

“Find whatever you want and I’ll order it.” Satoru shoots back, now focused on the dramatic scene playing out on the tv. He opens his phone and tosses it over to her side of the couch so that she can pick what she wants. “So there’s just a bunch of guys and one girl?” Satoru asks, wanting to know more.

“Yeah, have you never seen it before?” Shoko asks, scrolling through her options.

“No.” Satoru sits back, crossing his arms and letting his knees fall away from each other. “I don’t really spend my time like that.” His mind immediately goes to Suguru, the thing that most of his free time was spent on.

“That sounded pretentious.” Shoko chuckles lightly as she says it, finally seeming to decide on something. “How do you feel about pizza?” 

“Pizza’s fine.” He says, brushing off her first comment completely and continuing to watch the tv. 

“Do you have a preference or…?” Shoko continues, waiting for an answer that doesn’t ever come. He just shakes his head, not even looking over at her. She finishes picking out what she wants and hands the phone back to Satoru. “Does that sound good?” She asks. 

Satoru quickly looks and adds two small chocolate cakes and orders it. “It should be here in about 30 minutes, it looks like.” He says, setting his phone down on the couch beside him. Shoko gives him a thumbs up, pulling her blanket back over herself and cozying into the corner of the couch more. “Is this all you had planned today?” Satoru asks, gesturing his head up at the tv once again. 

“Yeah, pretty much.” She says with a shrug. “Went a little too hard last night.”

“Why invite me over then?”

“So you could get me food.” Shoko says flatly. Satoru shakes his head with a smile on his face. “And-” She continues dramatically, “I know how clingy you two are. I figured you’d feel better if you were around someone else.” Satoru scoffs, holding his hand to his chest, but Shoko stops him before he can go any further. “And don’t try to bullshit me and say that isn’t true because I think we both know it’s the truth, Gojo.” 

Satoru thinks about trying to argue, but he knows that she sees right through it. “Shut up.” 

“Don’t tell me to shut up, you shut up.” She shoots back. 

Satoru shakes his head with a smile, focusing back on the show for a minute before he notices Kai come strolling out of the hallway leading towards her room. “Kai!” He lets out a projected whisper, not wanting to scare him back into hiding. He pats the couch a few times beside him, immediately enticing Kai to see what’s up. He hurries over, jumping up next to Satoru and starting to rub his face against his hand. “Hi buddy.” Satoru says as he turns to pet Kai with both hands. “I haven’t seen you in a while.” 

“I think he has a new favorite person.” Shoko pipes up. Satoru looks over at her with his brows furrowed. 

“Huh?” 

“Yeah, Utahime’s been over a lot recently and he really likes her.” Shoko says, looking down at Kai as she speaks, a soft smile on her face. 

“You sure it’s only him who really likes her?” Satoru asks, his teasing not concealed whatsoever. Shoko’s cheeks immediately turn pink at his question.

“Shut up.” Shoko says, grabbing the remote and turning up the volume on the tv slightly.

“Shoko, come on.” Satoru says, trying to get her to talk about it.

“We’re really good friends.” She says, not wanting to get deeper into it.

“Mmhm.” Satoru hums, seeming to finally take that for an answer. She thinks he’s done when there’s a long silence before he speaks up once again, the smirk on his face lacing itself to his voice. “Suguru and I were ‘really good friends’ at one point too.” Shoko quickly grabs the throw pillow beside her and literally throws it at Satoru, who effortlessly catches it. 5

“Gojo! I said shut up!” She shouts, her face getting progressively more pink as time goes on.

“I know it’s called a throw pillow, but I don’t think you’re actually supposed to throw them.” Satoru fluffs the pillow back up before setting it back on the couch beside Shoko. She groans and Satoru smiles, obviously proud of what he’s done. “I won’t tell anyone.” He says, looking over at her as she tries to sink herself deeper into the couch.

“Okay, can we just stop talking about this now?” She asks, feeling like her face is burning up.

“Yeah, because I need you to explain to me the whole premise of the show.” Shoko’s thankful that Satoru finally drops the subject and immediately switches gears to explain every detail possible to Satoru. He listens intently as she explains the show's inner workings and what’s already happened in the season thus far. Satoru continues asking questions very curiously, and Shoko continues to answer them until their food gets delivered. 

They grab their food, opting to eat on the couch while they continue watching. They watch quietly for a while, more focused on their food than talking. Satoru grabs some more while Shoko sets her plate on the coffee table. “Have you talked to Geto?” 

“For just a little bit right after he got there, but they pretty much immediately went into a meeting.” Satoru answers as he sits back down on the couch. His eyes look down at the ground, wondering what he’s up to at the moment. Probably sitting in some uncomfortable chair listening to some man talk about some new program that’s supposed to help raise their profits somehow.

Shoko nods her head, humming softly in response. “At least he’s not somewhere fun like Okinawa.” As soon as Satoru hears that, an idea pops into his head. He pulls out his phone and sends a text to Suguru, knowing that he won't see it until later, but needing to get his thought out.

‘What if we go to Okinawa?’ He clicks send and sets his phone back down. “Yeah, I just wish he were here though, you know?” Satoru says with a sigh.

“Codependent.” Shoko says, faking a cough as she says it.

“Excuse me?” Satoru sas with a growing smile as he turns his head to look at Shoko.

“I said co-de-pen-dent.” She emphasizes each syllable as she says it, looking him right in the eyes.

“You’re addicted to cigarettes.” Satoru shoots back, his eyebrows furrowed at her. This banter was something normal for the two of them, their relationship mostly like that of a brother and sister. Almost nothing was too far in between them.

“Trust fund baby.” She quickly spits out, a smirk on her face as she says it. 

“Wait, you invited me over here to buy you food and you’re making fun of me?” Putting an end to their playful bickering back and forth.

“Yeah, because you’re a trust fund baby.”

Satoru scoffs and shakes his head. “We’ll see how you feel when I start refusing to buy your drinks for you.” Shoko takes a breath, ready to fire back, but Satoru stops her before she can even get it out. “And don't even think about asking Suguru, because I’ll tell him not to either.” Satoru says, raising his eyebrows at her, knowing he’s got the upper hand. “You can ask your really good friend Utahime to buy them for you, right?” Satoru asks, teasing her once again.

“Okay, okay, shut up, you win.” She says, rolling her eyes and crossing her arms, looking defeated. 

Satoru smiles smugly, proud of himself as he sits back into the couch, crossing his arms and looking up at the tv. He can’t help but start thinking silently to himself, Suguru and I have really gotta start watching this together. 

chapter 19

[certainty2witch]

Heya there, Could you please share your crocodile and luffy headcanons +pregnant croc please?👀👀👀🙏🙏

Thank you Thank you!!!😭😭💞💕💕

Sorry for the late reply! But here i am!

Since you didn’t mentioned if you want to know that about my au or the canonverse, I’ll talk about my Revolutionary Crocodile au only, since in the canonverse Croc left newborn Luffy into Dragon’s arms (literally), and all the context, during the pregnancy and after, is pretty sad I prefer to tell just my au.

But if you are curious about the canonverse anyway, just ask for it! And I’ll share it in another post.

Let’s start!

I’ve shared time ago this Croc and Luffy hcs in this post, that also has a draw 😊 so just click it and read what i said there!

I just wanna add:

- When Luffy said that he wanted to become a pirate to his daddies, Crocodile put his hand on his shoulder and said him: “Go and make me proud”.

- (connect to the one above) Crocodile totally supports his son goal, and hopes he will become king of pirates, realising for Crocodile the dream he had to put aside.

~~~

Now about the pregnancy 👀

(A bit of context and then the hcs)

Crocodile had so many doubts about his situation, he surely didn’t think he could have a baby (well Iva mentioned to pay attention to that, but since never happened before Luffy, he thought was not a possibility!)

He decided in the end to call Dragon for telling him about his condition.

He was so afraid Dragon would told him that he didn’t want the baby and to be left by him. But Dragon was so happy! He loves Crocodile so much, he was busy with his duties and wasn’t present (he literally never called him, stupid Dragon) until the day they met.

The draw I’ve made for Croc confession and Luffy’s birth:

After that day, Crocodile and Dragon announced to the other Revolutionaries about the pregnancy and Iva was the most excited of all, they self proclaimed “the baby’s auntie”.

Dragon proposed to Crocodile and asked him to be a revolutionary. Croc was never convinced about that, he loved being a pirate but it was better for the baby if he would have stayed with them.

So they got married (by Kuma) when Crocodile was still pregnant.

Now the hcs!!

- As every pregnant person, Crocodile craved the worst things ever. He already loves Crocodile’s meat, but he asked to combine it with strawberry jam and whipped cream one time.

- Luffy wasn’t a easy pregnancy at all, that kid was always hyperactive.

- Dragon used to caress Croc’s belly while saying him sweet word to him and their baby. Croc loved it a lot, and one time he even cried. But he said that was because something got in his eye.

- Crocodile soon as he understood that he was pregnant, he stopped smoking. He struggled a lot for that, he needed to smoke, but he cared for his baby’s safety the most.

- Iva checked weekly Crocodile and Luffy’s conditions, and they also discovered with their powers the baby’s gender (hc i have about their powers).

- Crocodile’s body wasn’t made of sand, because his baby couldn’t survive in a body made of pure element. But he could use his powers anyway, but without transforming.

- While alone, Croc loved to put his hand on his belly and listen to his son’s movements. It was a moment just between them. He even talked to Luffy. He was so excited to met him.

- Since Luffy’s birth was getting hard, Kuma after seeing Crocodile suffering so much, he taken away his pain using his powers.

For now I’m done! Thanks for the ask 💕 and sorry again for being so late.

Hope it was enough satisfying as an answer haha

Anyway thanks for the ask, I’m always open to answer to anybody, so feel free to send me what you want.

Even art suggestions, if i like the idea, I’ll draw it.

[hopelesslyromanticgay]

Stars Around My Scars

Tara Carpenter x Gn!Swiftie!reader

TW: references to PTSD, insecurities.

where the reader helps Tara accept her scars as part of herself

Y/N was the type of person to always be drawing while a song played in their headphones. 

Today, they were sitting on their bed listening to Folklore on shuffle, their girlfriend, Tara’s, head in their lap. 

They desperately wanted to grab a sharpie and write all over themself, an old habit, but didn’t want to disturb the beautiful girl in their lap. It’s hard to just do one thing, and aimlessly doodling always helped calm their nerves. 

In an attempt to find something to preoccupy themselves with, they subconsciously slip their hand into Tara’s and start caressing it. Tara jerked up at the unexpected touch.

“I’m sorry, didn’t mean to startle you,” they apologized, “is it okay that I’m doing this?” Tara nodded slowly. Y/N looked down at her, smiling, “I’m never gonna hurt you.” 

That was all of the reassurance Tara had needed. She immediately settled back into Y/N’s lap. Y/N loved when Tara wanted them to hold her in their arms. They ruffled Tara’s adorable bangs, kissing her forehead. She giggles and mumbles something unintelligible into Y/N’s chest.

It was getting late, and the temperature on the thermostat reader had gone down.

“Y/N/N, I’m cold,” Tara whined, pulling them closer, earning a warm hug from their partner.

“Do you want some hot cocoa?” they asked. Tara nodded happily.

Y/N got up, busying themself with making the best hot cocoa their girlfriend would ever have.

They got out the good cocoa powder  and favorite mug, which said “it’s a love story, baby just say yes! (to this cup of coffee),”in excitement, they’d been waiting to use this flavoring, but wanted to use up their old packets first. After brewing the drink, they got out marshmallows and whipped cream. It was almost like they were a little kid again.

“Cocoa’s ready” they beamed proudly, walking into their bedroom with the cocoa. Tara’s hands trembled vigorously from the cold, so naturally when she took the drink, it tipped and spilled onto her shirt.

She winced at the pain from the hot liquid’s collision with her skin.

“Oh shit, Tara,” Y/N worried, immediately grabbing a napkin and drying her off, “are you okay? Do you want a new shirt?”

“I’m fine, honey,” she reassured them, “a new shirt might be nice, though.”

“I’m going to make sure you don’t have a burn anyway,” they said.

“Is this your well thought out plot to see me without a shirt?” Tara smirked.

Y/N blushed a bright shade of red, “I just wanna make sure you’re okay.”

They gently folded back Tara’s blouse, exposing the red, but unburnt skin. Tara immediately placed her hand over a certain area on her stomach.

“Are you in pain?” her partner asked worriedly.

“I’m fine,” Tara snapped. Y/N pulled away.

“Shit, sorry, I didn’t mean to sound rude,” Tara clarified.

“It’s okay,” Y/N cupped her cheek, “I’ll get you a new shirt now.” They lightly kissed her nose before getting up to go to their closet and got Tara’s favorite shirt to steal. It was a soft material, very comfortable for sleeping. The shirt itself was a t-shirt from Taylor Swift’s reputation tour. It was black, with a green cartoon snake hissing at a telephone.

“Here you go Tar,” they handed it to her.

“Thanks,” she smiled, and started to lift her dirtied shirt off, exposing her scarred stomach.

This was the first time her partner had seen her scars. They knew about what happened at Woodsboro not too long ago, but had never seen the physical damages it had done to her.

“Tara,” they started to say. The smaller brunette quickly realized what was going on and covered them with her hands.

“You don’t need to cover them for me,” they said softly.

“But they’re ugly,” she cried.

“They’re hardly ugly Tara,” they reassured her, “they show how strong you are. Your scars are your history. You wouldn’t be where you are or who you are today if you hadn’t gotten them.” She burst into tears, Y/N could tell she was hurting. Maybe not physically, but she was definitely hurting.

“How does that not make them ugly.”

“Because everything about you is beautiful. Your past, your present, your future.” She blushed at the compliment.

“Can I hold you?” Tara nodded. They pushed away all of her fears and insecurities, wrapping their arms around her, peppering her face with kisses.

“You’re beautiful,” they repeated over and over, “you always will be.” They held her close and they held her tight. They racked their brain for any way to make the broken girl in their arms feel better.

An idea soon popped into their head.

“Hey Tara,” they started, “can I try something?”

“Y/N, this is hardly the time for… that.”

“No!” they realize the implications behind what they just said, “nothing sexual.” Tara gave her permission with a nod.

“Don’t put the shirt on just yet.”

“It’s not sexual but you need my shirt off?” she raises an eyebrow.

“Just trust me, please?”

Y/N got up from the bed where the two had been cuddled next to each other, already missing the warmth their girlfriend surrounded them with. They made their way over to the desk when they found it. They grabbed the pencil case and took out a sharpie.

Tara had lay down in her partner’s absence, perfect for what Y/N was planning.

“This might tickle a little,” they uncap the pen, and started to draw on her stomach. 

“What are you doing, cutie?” she asked.

“Drawing stars around your scars,” they replied, innocently.

“Alright, that’s enough Taylor Swift for you!” she giggled.

“You don’t like it?”

“No! Don’t stop, it’s cute,” she smiles. Y/N presses a kiss to her nose, “don’t worry, I didn’t plan on doing anything differently.” So they went back to their work on their beautiful girlfriend.

“And done!” they finished the last stroke of the pen. They helped Tara up from her position and guide her to the mirror so she can see the constellations of her scars. The pair stand in front of it, Tara admiring her partner’s work. She nearly cried at how much attention her partner had payed to detail.

The cool hands of her partner pressed against Tara’s stomach, the sudden touch causing her to shiver and let out a gasp.

“That one is your star sign,” they traced their hands around the scars, “felt like you deserve a bit of your identity in this.” Tara giggled at the tickle their soft touch.

“Tell me about the others,” she begged, loving this artistic side of her partner.

“This one is Orion,” they continued, “I love his story. Shows how potent jealousy is.” They brought their hand up to the scar.

“This is Pegasus,” they trace their hand down to the scar right beside her belly button, “because you’re like no other, beautiful, unique and …” they racked their brain for a word, “sensational.” Tara blushed. Y/N could see a tear coming down her cheek.

“Oh no, Tara, did I do something wrong?”

“No, No No,” she stuttered, “This is just the most thoughtful thing anyone’s ever done for me.” She wrapped her arms around her partner’s neck, getting on her toes to pull them in for a kiss. 

“I’m so glad I have you, Y/N.” They cupped her cheek.

“I’m so glad I have you, Tara,” Y/N put a jacket over their girlfriend’s shoulders, “Come on, let’s get you some more Cocoa.”

[luvchampagne]

WHOLE - k. tetsuro

summary: kuroo may be lacking and imperfect in some ways but you are there to make up for him.

pairings: kuroo tetsuro x fem! reader

a/n: this has been seating on my drafts for too long, and you can tell im loosing my brain juices at the ending. :')

kuroo tetsuro feels whole the day you entered his life. Every moment he gets he captures himself reminiscing the day how you two met. It was rather a sunny sunday and as always he spent his weekends on his grandmas house. last night he had cried himself to sleep; he had once again wondered what he did wrong for his mother to forsake him, he never truly got a proper answer no matter who he asked and he felt like he would never get one. so today, on a sunny sunday he decided to skip homework. it was unlikely of him, and he knew that all too well but something itched in him to go outside and play after that miserable evening, and there he found you. hair tied up in a pretty pony tail, dressed in floral pink dress as you drew random objects on the sidewalk. one particular thing that caught his eye is a black cat. “you forgot to drew it's whiskers.” he pointed out, he wasn't even aware that he had approach you. “oh,” and oh my god, if he knew that he had fallen inlove with those eyes of yours middle school kuroo wouldve laughed and won't believe a word. “it seems that i have, would you mind drawing it for me?” you offered him a white chalk. “im busy drawing it's food. by the way, his name is mr. cat” kuroo raised a brow at that. “mr. cat? how odd.” he could only smile at that thought as he proceeded to draw mr. cat's whiskers. so, on that day onwards kuroo tetsuro looked forward to every weekend. not only has he gained a new friend besides kenma and he had also gained a fellow friend thats actually interested in his volleyball activities. he learned that you had a crazy obsession with cartoons and like to fan girl over them, you adored taylor swift and you do seem to get along with kenma, occasionally playing video games with each other as you teamed up against kuroo and tell him that he sucks. of course he'd get pouty about it so you always promise to play volleyball with him and drag kenma along.

kuroo tetsuro feels whole when you two met again in college, unfortunately your parents had found a new job at a better neighbourhood and decided to move there. forcibly severing your contacts with your friends as you entered high school. he had saw you first in the library, hair tied once again in a high pony tail as you typed something on your laptop, your anti rad glass seating beautifully on the bridge of your nose. he remembers particularly in middle school he had told kenma how he felt about you, how his hands get clammy and a random wave of nervousness rush over him every time he gets to see you and how he feels like he's about to vomit his heart whenever you smile at him and tell him how proud you are of his volleyball accomplishments. kenma told him it was a crush and he immediately denied it. of course, middle schooler kuroo didn't care about any of that so he hadn't thought he'd grew feelings of you unconsciously. he recalls that feeling on a random sunny weekend once more when he was on his first year of high school after his friends asked (specifically yaku) if he ever had a crush. it was only then that the realization dawned on him, he liked you. he liked you and, ohmygod, kenma was right and everything's too late now and there was 1% he could actually meet you again. he remembers correctly that he felt hopeless and how dumb of him to never realized his own feelings for you. of course he mopped over that for a week, i mean sure, maybe you wouldn't reciprocate his feelings too but atleast he could've told you before you left. and he felt so stupid and dumb to deny what kenma told him 3 years ago. So, to meet you again in a random library was something he didn't expect. one thing led to another and he had approached you and thank god, you still remember him. a tiny part of him would've died in embarrassment if you did forget about him. he had guessed that if you didn't, he'd just re-introduce himself to you.

kuroo tetsuro feels whole when you drunkly confessed that you like him. of course, that wasn't his ideal way for confessing but if its you, he'd let it slide.

kuroo tetsuro feels whole when he finally get to feel your lips against his. it felt like home oh-so-warm and tasted like watermelon. he never knew that he'd obsessed over that fruit.

kuroo tetsuro feels whole when he gets home exhausted and youd always be there to engulf him in a hug, whispering “i miss you's and welcome, love.”

kuroo tetsuro feels whole when you said yes to him repeatedly on a sunny sunday under a wisteria trea. it was a three letter word but it meant the whole world to him. perhaps it wasn't sunday's that bring him luck but you. because when you had looked him in the eye when you two were seven and offered him a chalk, the day after his parents argued once more over custody, you had saved him. unconsciously.

kuroo tetsuro feels whole as he admires your sleeping face, legs tangled together under the blanket as your warmth engulf him. he can feel you starting to wake up but he can't help but stare at you longer. it was sunday again, and god knows how many times he had already hit snoozed on your alarm just to admire you further. kuroo tetsuro may not be perfect and lacking in some parts but, when he is with you he can feel as if he could conquer the whole world, because you keep him whole and he has zero plans of loosing you again.

[trillscienceofficer]

A long time ago @nebulouscoffee asked me to write the DVD commentary of “Best Left” (which is a Raffi/Seven/B'Elanna fic set between Picard S1 and 2) and now I'm finally doing that.

This is inevitably going to get long because the fic itself is much longer than anything else I've ever posted, and I still have so many feelings for a story I put a lot of effort and heart into! But first things first, here's chapter one.

Cris, I know you’re really busy these days on the Stargazer, so I’ll keep this short.

As I was coming up with ideas for “Best Left”, my main goal was to have Raffi (which I knew would be the POV character) in a very different place than where we see her first on Star Trek: Picard. I wanted her, by this point established, long-distance relationship with Seven be a part of the network in which Raffi is now deeply enmeshed (ie La Sirena's crew). That said though, both canon events (by this time Rios has been made captain) and my plot ideas were not very accommodating of having literally everyone on board the ship. It would've been too unwieldy for a project that was already shaping up to be very ambitious for my standards. But while Jurati and Picard's absence is, I think, not that big of a deal, I still very much wanted to underline Raffi and Cris' friendship, which I think is essential in order to understand Raffi and one of the few relationships she's had that didn't go sour on her. I obviated to his physical absence with both real and imaginary correspondence, from which Raffi could draw strength in difficult moments. The fic both begins and closes with Raffi writing a message to him.

Raffi hits send on the message and looks up only to find Elnor at her side, looking just as morose as he’d been a few days earlier, when she’d told him first about the road trip idea. She sighs internally; the queue to transporter hub number four advances. It’s a busy day on the new Betazed spacedock, but luckily no one among the crowd seems the wiser to a Romulan young adult carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. He holds the straps of his bag and his staff with a white-knuckle grip. Raffi hooks her left arm into the crook of Elnor’s right. “What’s the matter?”

Rereading this I remembered how fun it was to write Raffi and Elnor interact. My intention here (and throughout the fic) was to have Raffi obviously care for him while also not losing her somewhat world-weary attitude because of her affection. Raffi is still a woman who analyzes everything around her, and acts accordingly—not to mention all the unacknowledged guilt she carries wrt her son Gabe. I didn't want to have Raffi be straightforwardly ‘maternal’, it didn't feel right and I think older women in fiction should be allowed to have mixed feelings about this role more often. Plus, like Raffi herself realizes later in the fic, Elnor has already had plenty of other women bossing him around all his life, he doesn't need one more.

Soji is at the navigation console, smiling and waving a little awkwardly. And finally, Seven watching them from the captain’s chair, which she occupies with ease, leaning on one armrest. The very image of the roguish pirate captain; Cris wishes he could pull it off this well. “Welcome aboard,” Seven says, the hint of a smirk on her lips, as if she’d just heard every single one of Raffi’s thoughts.

I honestly think Raffi is constantly roasting Cris in her head. Also when rereading I was surprised about this reprise of the idea of mind-reading from the previous dialogue between Raffi and Elnor, that was cool and I can't remember if I even wrote it entirely on purpose. In any case, I wanted to have both Soji and Elnor along for this story because (1) they could offer an interesting outsider perspective on the older women drama about to unfold and (2) I wanted to have them interact with each other and have an adventure that had nothing to do with their specific backstories. Writing Soji in this story was so much fun! It was a nice challenge to balance her characterization between the right amounts of deadpan honesty and genuine care, and making it obvious that she's still figuring out how she wants to live her life.

“I don’t think Cris would forgive me if I tried to take La Sirena into another Borg transwarp conduit,” Soji says. “And honestly I’m not sure the ship can take it.” “It wasn’t particularly pleasant on a Borg cube either,” Seven adds. “As I’m sure Elnor remembers.” “Crashing on the surface was worse,” he replies, and some of the gloom lifts from his face. The effect Seven has on people sometimes—but Raffi should be the last to judge, shouldn’t she? It’s not as if seeing Seven again, sitting on that chair so lazily and yet still projecting intent, isn’t reminding Raffi of the few weeks they’d spent on board La Sirena before. But it’s probably best if she revisits that particular recap reel in private.

I based this little Seven-Elnor interaction from my own feelings about my Cool Aunt, which I think are fitting lmao (ie especially as kid, if she was speaking to me I would immediately feel better no matter what)

Also while rereading I was like, damn I made this first half of the chapter so horny... but I've been in a ldr myself and this is pretty true to my own experience. Reuniting always means a mixture of attraction and awkwardness, and it's what I wanted to convey about Raffi and Seven here, especially since they both have a hard time trusting in people or believing that they're capable of being around people without fucking it up. The following misunderstanding about room assignments is part of this pattern.

She’s re-learning restraint, in the hardest way possible, in other facets of her life.

So here comes the part of this fic I agonized over the most... Raffi's history of substance abuse and her current commitment to sobriety. I thought the latter is what fit better with Raffi's actions on the second half of S1 (ie locking herself out of the replicator) and some scenes of S2—imho those are clues that she (wants to) simply quit. Now, a commitment to complete sobriety (including weed snakeleaf, like in a 12-step program) is not necessarily an effective way to treat addiction long term—actually quite the opposite, from what I could learn from the research I did, even if still the most popular recommended form of treatment today. I'm not entirely sure it would be at all recommended in the 24th century. So how to reconcile this with the hints about Raffi quitting cold-turkey? Is it even something I would want to depict in a good light? What I eventually tried to do is treat the matter strictly from a character perspective. I hinted that Raffi is seeing a counselor, and now feeling part of a network of people, and is now restored to her place in society via Starfleet (from her perspective). Sobriety is something she thinks she should do and can do now, so that's what Raffi did; it's all part of her wider commitment to live a different life. If this also has a whiff of self-punishment... I don't think you'd be entirely wrong. I tried to hint that Raffi has her own thoughts on her addiction but I don't necessarily share them myself (see the disclaimer on top of chapter 4), and those thoughts might be another way in which she's denying herself (because no one else grants it to her either) the compassion I think she deserves. It's a really complex topic and I don't know if I did it justice here. I welcome feedback if you have any.

She’d thought she’d lost any interest in making out, over the years—she was surprised to find out how much Seven enjoys it, and how much of that enjoyment is infectious.

I have this headcanon that Seven really enjoys making out (it's appeared in other fic of mine too, eg “Doing the Unstuck”) and her partners never expect this of her. I think I like the idea that Seven's approach to sex and intimacy is still about the sudden thrill of closeness she displayed when she twirled Chakotay around in order to kiss him lol. I especially like the idea it's one of the things about Seven that's not changed despite all that happened to her since said kiss, and that she could bring Raffi to enjoy making out again as well.

It’s still the same suitcase-shaped contraption that she cobbled together months earlier with Borg parts from the Artifact, as far as Raffi can tell. Some other parts Seven had replicated on La Sirena, and then had proceeded to build the device with surprising ease. She’d explained that it was a modular design she and other friends had come up with over the years. It hadn’t been the first time she’d found herself needing a regenerator without having one handy. Raffi had admired her resourcefulness then, and still does now.

I ranted a lot about Seven's regeneration last summer, and all my thoughts and headcanons ended up in this fic. Regeneration for Seven is now a bit different than what it used to be on Voyager; still a necessity but quicker, and something that doesn't tie her down to bulky machinery any longer. Something that ultimately Seven has more control over. However, it's also a necessity that now needs to be articulated explicitly to the people she's close to, and that other people have to learn to take into account about her. I also wanted Seven to determine clear boundaries around regeneration—eg, here she doesn't want other people around when she regenerates—but boundaries that she is still constantly renegotiating, as it happens in chapter two when she invites Raffi to stay. Seven isn't used to be around people much anymore, so she's still adapting to new realities (like her relationship with Raffi) and rethinking what is comfortable for her.

“I hope your other stops were less frustrating than Trill,” Raffi offers, making her presence known. Soji looks up at her, and her face breaks into a smile. “Oh hey, I didn’t realize you were here, Raffi. But yes, I can honestly say it was the worst one so far. I think, and Agnes agrees, that their academic institutions really opposed the lifting of the synth ban for some reason.”

This little piece of Trill worldbuilding came to be because in “Second Self” Una McCormack wrote that Raffi has taken part in the zhian'tara of a colleague. Which is absolutely bonkers to me!! I couldn't help myself and expand on it a bit, all the while maintaining my stance on Trill being very conservative when it comes to decide on people's personhood. I know it's maybe controversial but I really don't think Trill institutions are that enlightened on the topic. They might think they are, but in presence of someone like Soji the appearance would crumble immediately. I honestly loved revisiting my Trill feelings through Raffi and Soji, I haven't written Dax fic in a very long time, so this was a nice way for me to scratch that itch.

Raffi crosses her legs, raises an eyebrow. She’s reminded all too well of when Soji had first come aboard, the confusion of a young woman whose entire life as she knew it had been a deception. She can recall how Soji described her relationship with Narek, and how Raffi had been the one to name his behavior for what it was. Maybe some pointing out of the obvious is needed here too.

This is one of the things that caught my attention the most when I rewatched S1—Raffi has been looking out for Soji practically from the start, calling out Narek's presence for what it was (abusive). I wanted to let Raffi speak her mind here as well, about the kind of interactions Soji has had while on tour.

A scratchy, stuttering audio signal starts playing from La Sirena’s bridge speakers. ‘—damage. Propulsion systems offline. Atmospheric controls—’ More digital artifacting of the signal. ‘—predict where the subspace eddies will take the ship. I don’t know how long I still have—’ The audio signal cuts off, then the message repeats once again. ‘—damage. Propulsion systems offline. Atmospheric controls—’ “I think that’s all of it,” Soji says, soberly. “Damn,” Raffi says, at a loss. “She’s dying, if not already dead,” Elnor says, voicing what everyone is thinking. He turns to Raffi. “What do we do?”

When she read this chapter, my partner asked me about the use of pronouns for the yet unknown person in distress—here Elnor assumes it's a she, while Raffi and Soji don't. It was actually on purpose, I wanted to hint at the fact that Elnor's default assumption is that the people that do stuff out there in space are women because the Qowat Milat usually speaks in these terms as well. Maybe it's silly, I don't know, but I wrote it in anyway as a subtle wordlbuilding detail. Maybe too subtle if it leads to pronoun confusion.

“I’m not sure I could live with myself if we didn’t try to save the crew of that ship. There’s a chance they might still be alive.” “Then let’s do it,” Raffi says with a curt nod. “You’re in command of La Sirena now.”

In the rescue scene I tried very hard to let Raffi do tactical evaluation in a way that didn't come off as callous as it sometimes does for Worf on TNG or Tuvok on Voyager—she's honestly trying to give Soji, now in command, a good overview of the situation.

Raffi takes a long look at Elnor, and to his credit he looks genuinely curious, hands folded together, leaning with his elbows on his knees. She knows better than to doubt his intentions, but—when he wants, he knows exactly when and how to ask one of his blunt questions for maximum effect, doesn’t he? In this case, distraction. She idly wonders if this is a skill that everyone in the Qowat Milat picks up, along with the assassin training. Using the truth as a finely honed blade, rather than the cudgel it’s always reminded her of.

That the absolute candor tenet of the Qowat Milat may be used in more than one way and for more than one goal is something I already written about before (ie in “Policy of Truth”). I think Raffi has her own different ideas about telling the truth because she's trained in intelligence gathering and also because pursuing the truth has always been painful for her—see her quest to find out who was behind the Mars attack. So here she's surprised to find out that Elnor's honesty is not at all a weakness, which she's assumed so far, but rather a very well-honed skill.

“It is the ship we’re looking for,” Soji confirms, going through the readings with, once again, an ease that belies her actual experiences. “It is still transmitting the distress call, though it’s extremely garbled. The hull is pressurized, somehow, at least partially. Life signs—one, I think. Humanoid. Very faint” She looks at Raffi, eyes wide, and Raffi braces herself. “We have to beam them over. The subspace tug might breach the hull at any time. I know that we have no idea who we’ll find, but they’re dying.” Goddammit. They really should’ve woken Seven up before getting here. Then again, at this point it’s probably best to ask for forgiveness than permission. If they’re all still alive to do so. But they will; a boy assassin, an android with super strength, and Raffi. Risk assessment used to be her job in Starfleet, long ago.

I still really like Raffi thinking 'oh well, too late to go back now, but at least I have backup'. I thought about her characterization a lot while writing this fic, and tried to convey her dry humor at best I can. She's really funny in canon! I really enjoyed writing her constant quips, even if they're just in her head.

Down the stairs, she hears Emil grumble. “I can’t deliver proper emergency care if you rush me.” “You’ll replicate what you need, as you need it,” Soji retorts impatiently. “Just initiate the transport.”

All EMHs are the same.

She’s older now, and out of uniform, looking much worse for wear after what she just went through. But there’d been a time more than twenty years prior when her face had been on every Federation newsfeed, along with the rest of the crew of the USS Voyager. “You know her?” Raffi turns to Soji, frozen in bemusement beside Emil. “I’ve never met her but yes, I know who she is,” Raffi says. “You two stay here and keep an eye on things. Seven needs to see this.”

I really like the way this chapter ends (so much so that it's the quote I chose for the fic summary on AO3). I thought about the idea of generational difference a lot when coming up with this fic, and how Raffi has witnessed so many momentous events, like the return of Voyager, that Elnor and even Soji really have no context for. It's an interesting aspect of having older characters that weren't around in previous shows, and an opportunity for a different perspective that unfortunately I think Star Trek: Picard squandered completely (Una McCormack was more attentive in her novels, luckily). Regardless, Raffi's experience turns out to be an asset more than once in this fic—no one aboard La Sirena at this point is as intimately aware of the events of the Dominion War as she is.

[the-lark-ascending69]

your nancy wheeler whump is incredible, ty for the food

— sincerely, a nancy wheeler fan who is also a whump enjoyer

About this post, I think.

Omg anon hiii i'm so happy you liked it!! 🥰🥰 Nancy is such a whumpeable character, maybe because shes so broken inside already 💕 she's just a scared wet cat who needs to be wrapped up in a warm blanket.

A few headcanons for youuuu 💕💕

Robin's parents will be out of town for a few months (they're visiting family far away), so she has the house all to herself, and since the Wheelers are gone and Nancy has nowhere to go, that's where they take her.

Steve and Robin spend a long time looking for the Wheelers. They make a hundred phone calls a day but they keep hitting dead ends. The Wheelers left Hawkins shortly after Nancy was "confirmed" dead, and Mike quickly lost contact with his friends. Finding them has become impossibly difficult, and Steve and Robin worry that they'll never get to tell them Nancy is alive. Nancy misses them like crazy.

The party gets involved super quickly - Lucas, Dustin and Will, as well as the two new kids, Max and El. The boys all cry when they see Nancy, and to Nancy it feels like having siblings again, three new little brothers to try to fill in the space left by Mike and Holly. Max and El just want to help - they're excited to finally meet Nancy Wheeler, Mike's famous sister - he never shut up about her. He always talked about how smart and brave she was and how nothing has been the same since she died. Nancy was a bit surprised to know Mike said that about her, and it only makes her cry. She misses her brother so much.

Max in particular spends a lot of time with Nancy. She helps take care of her when Steve and Robin can't.

Will makes a lot of drawings for Nancy, and she keeps them all by her bedside. She particularly loves the one portraying her family - Mom, Mike, Holly, yes, even her dad.

Nancy experiences a lot of ugly withdrawal symptoms after having been on drugs so heavily for so long. Lots of vomiting and headaches.

Hopper gets involved in her case. She tells him everything, and he begins his investigation. He visits every now and then - it's in his nature. Up until two years ago, he was a father without daughter, and Nancy is a daughter without parents and a sister without siblings. It's only natural when El shows up at Robin's house to spend more and more time with Nancy, happy to have an older sister figure, even if she takes care of Nancy more than Nancy takes care of her. And it's only natural for Hopper to visit a few times a week to ask how she's doing and make sure all her needs are met.

Joyce is overjoyed to hear she's alive, and soon joins Steve and Robin in their search for the Wheeler's new number. She brings food whenever she can and instantly takes on a motherly role in Nancy's life. She agrees that it's best for Nancy to stay at Robin's for the time being, since Joyce and Jonathan spend a great deal of time at work and she'd be all alone for most of the time, but she plans on taking her to live with them when Richard and Melissa Buckley come back.

Jonathan awkwardly tries to help as well - he's often busy with work, but he stops by whenever possible to see if she needs anything. Nancy appreciates that.

Nancy hates appearing weak, but she's set off by the smallest thing - the party's boys hi-fiving each other reminds her of the way soldiers raised their hands to hit her. Steve's loud laughter reminds her of the way the general used to laugh when she cried. Out of the house, she's terrified of needles and hates getting blood tests or vaccines, and going to the dentist is paralyzing - the clattering of the instruments on the metal tray, the shapes of them so similar to the ones they used to rip her nails out, the horrible feeling of foreign objects in her mouth... she has two reactions to these things: she either freezes or she breaks. Freezing includes being almost completely non-verbal, trembling slightly but obeying every order. Breaking includes a lot of crying and panicking.

Her sleep schedule is all messed up - sometimes she can't sleep for more than three hours. Sometimes she blacks out for 18 hours straight. She can never seem to go to sleep and wake up at the same time every day, and she often suffers from nightmares.

She likes cuddling with either Steve or Robin, or even better, both of them. Sandwiched between the two of them, she almost feels like a little kid sleeping between her parents.

Robin really really really didn't like bathing Nancy, or helping her dress up. It feels like she's taking advantage of her. She feels the same when she shares a bed with her. Steve is the one to largely take care of Nancy when it comes to those things. They're still dating, technically, though at this point Nancy can't say she feels love for him. She clings to him because he's familiar, and he loves her, and he makes her feel safe. She appreciates him and cares deeply about him, but if she's honest with herself... she can't love him. She can't bring herself to say that to Steve, of course - after everything he's done for her, she just... tries so hard to convince herself she loves him in the way she's supposed to.

She actually quite enjoys Robin's company, and in part, she'd prefer it if it was her doing all of this for her. Robin can't bring herself to refuse when Nancy asks. They've slept together many times, Nancy cuddled into her chest. It makes Robin's heart ache, but she pushes those feelings down - creep, she thinks to herself. Freak. Pervert. Last thing Nancy needed was a person she trusted secretly lusting after her like a... like the dyke she was.

Nancy realizes she's not having a nice dream at the end of her first day after being rescued. She's drinking a cup of tea with Robin, talking about mindless things - Robin just wanted to make her feel comfortable and she supposed keeping it simple would be best, so she tells her about band and the time she passed out during a school play audition from the nerves. And Nancy looks down at her cup, feels its heat in her hands and the sweet taste in her mouth, and the soft texture of Robin's clean clothes on her skin. She hears the crickets outside, the creaking of the wooden floorboards when Robin paces, and it dawns to her that she is free. She suddenly breaks into tears, and Robin freaks out - calls Steve - and they both try her best to comfort her. Nancy hugs herself - she wants her mother and brother and little sister, it breaks her heart to know they left, that they thought her dead. But somehow, in Robin and Steve's arms, she feels warm. Safe, for the first time in years.

[wonderfuldeath]

.o| It's a small world : XXI |o.

Warnings : Violence, injury, graphic depictions, sex

Please, consider supporting me on Ko-Fi ! ♥

“- Excuse me, I think I misheard your question.”

Elyzabeth looks at the man in front of her as she see a stranger. Hoseok looks mad, with his enraged eyes and nervous hands twitch, as if he's going to give hurt her. She glared at him in anger, pointing her accusing finger, but no words passed her lips. Deep down, she'd known for a long time that this whole idea was a waste of time, something she shouldn't have accepted so easily. But no, she'd fallen in love with a new nothing, an unscrupulous asshole. An unscrupulous man. Again. She laughed bitterly as she pinched her bottom lip, searching for words that didn't come, she couldn't believe that this guy, in front of her, could really have asked that completely idiotic question.

“- You heard me perfectly well. Don't I have the right to know?

- No, you don't.

- Why not?

- Because it's none of your business anyway.”

The hand moves in a threatening gesture, making her reach out directly, backing away so as not to give him the chance to hurt her, and Hoseok remains silent for a moment. It takes him a little by the throat, but he doesn't waver, how could he have been so stupid to believe her and her lies, he pinches his lower lip, as the tone rises, she screams, so he screams too, and finally Lilya appears in the kitchen doorframe, probably awakened by the shrill cries of her two parents in the middle of an argument, and Elyzabeth closes her eyes to calm down.

“- Lilya, go back to bed.

- But Mom…

- Listen to your mother and go back to bed.

- Don't talk to her like that.”

Hoseok grits his teeth, as he runs a hand through his hair, making her blow gently through her nose, before grabbing the little girl, carrying her to finally find the door of his own apartment, without further words. The door slams behind her back as she reaches her car without even turning around. And she drives to Taehyung's, looking serious.

“- Elyzabeth?

- Is your darling home?

- Yes, but…”

She doesn't listen to him, stalking like a fury to open Jeon Jungkook's door, obviously in a big meeting with Namjoon, Seokjin and Yoongi. She remains silent for a moment, before pushing open the door for a conversation that will be anything but calm. She raises a finger when Taehyung opens his mouth to speak, and throws lightning bolts at Jungkook, who's clearly not thrilled to see her here.

“- If I died four years ago, it was only to get out of this hellish situation with Heisukei Damarro.

- Elyzabeth, I don't understand…

- So I ask myself, Mr. Jeon, what could possibly make you think in that rabbit's head of yours that I could be working for him? In the shadows.”

There's a dead silence as Taehyung frowns, and Jungkook rubs his forehead, obviously wanting to keep this project a secret from his lover's doubts, and it doesn't really go down well, so he enters the debate, while poor Lilya has joined Kiyeon's big bed to resume her night, rather worried about the adults' discussion. But she doesn't fully understand them either, all she knows is that her mommy's angry, and maybe her daddy's a bad guy. Jungkook takes a breath, before looking at the young woman with new eyes, as if trying to calculate how long it would take him to draw his weapon and shoot her. But Taehyung is quicker, stepping in front of her without thinking, pointing an accusing finger at the three of them.

“- How can you even suggest that she has anything to do with this guy?

- Understand us, pretty face, she faked her own death.

- To get out of a toxic relationship. Nothing more.”

Jungkook wasn't thrilled that Taehyung was defending someone other than himself, the fact that he wasn't on his side made him visibly nervous, but that didn't bother Taehyung, on the contrary, it showed the power he had over this man, whom he looked at in a completely different light than he had that very morning. Taehyung seems disappointed, crossing his arms like a child who's been given bad news, he looks at the three of them, but lets Elyzabeth resume, in a deep breath, finally unpacking the whole story.

“- I was forced to marry Heisukei Damarro. And I remained his wife for ten years, married at the age of twelve, but I was never able to get pregnant, so he blamed me. For a long time I thought I was infertile, and to punish me for not being able to give him a child, he beat me. Night and day. The only thing I was allowed to do was get my nursing diploma and go to work, to earn money for him and be useful.

- We met during our years of study, and Elyzabeth didn't tell me about it until we'd been friends for two years.

- Taehyung and Jimin came up with the plan to pretend to have an accident and die. I wasn't sure at first, but finally I agreed, and tasted freedom for the first time… So I was able to celebrate my new life at the club. And realized that I wasn't all that infertile.

She looks exhausted at having to recall something so painful, and lets herself fall back against the free sofa, running a hand through her powdered hair, searching for a second breath, before resuming, wanting absolutely to make sure that everything is clear to everyone, and never have to face this kind of situation again.

“- I'd rather die than be in the same room as him.

- Okay.”

Jungkook looks at Namjoon, no one really expected him to speak, and the former chief nods, as if everything is becoming clear to him now. A silence fills the room, engulfing it, only to be broken by Yoongi, obviously delighted not to have to shoot someone dear to his lover, Jimin would surely never forgive him.

“- So we're not shooting anybody, I suppose?

- Absolutely not! What an idea!”

All eyes are on Taehyung as Jungkook points at him approvingly, nodding at Taehyung's obviously divine words.

“- Exactly, what an idea.”

[miodinmio]

Mio your Mio is here!

I have been quite busy since March, a lot of things have happened but I haven't had the time to draw for my little diary blog here.

So hopefully you are fine with a text post, and I can draw for those mini stories with more detail later!

The haircut in March

I have cut my hair short a fair amount of times in my life, for the majority I have cut pixie cuts. During my time where I was in the most denial about feeling like a boy though, I grew my hair out long and klad it in so many big ribbons.

There have always however been a haircut I have wanted to try at least once, but I was too scared going to a hairdresser and showing her a boy-picture of what I wanted to look like after my one attempt when I was 14.

Due to circumstances, I couldn't cut my hair at my usual hairdresser, a story I will tell later. So I went to a new lady. Picture in hand and my courage shaking in hand. I had almost saved my hair out to a near perfect length for this particular cut; which had taken me a year. Maybe another half year of it growing out from this cut, I would have the ideal length to cut the hairstyle.

Moving onto the actual haircutting...

When she finished cutting, my hair went from Deku fluffy cute cloud waves to it belonging onto a 2010's meme site.

I cried when I got home.

I warned my two irl meetup friends that I refuse to allow them to see me with my haircut until it has grown out for at least 4 months, it was too darn embarrassing and shameful. I stopped covering my head with my hoodie two weeks ago when the summer heat was hitting too hard.

One year of length until I stop looking horrid. My hair is also going to take two years to grow out to the desired length of my dreamcut, to which I have decided that I will save up and travel to the big city to get it done right.

And if you think that story isn't so bad... That is ⅛ of what happened. The rest will come with drawings to explain the nightmare I went through that day with the hairdresser.

My very first binder

As much as I wanted the story of my first binder to be exciting and thrilling; I have to buy a new one with a different model. To put it short: I bought the very wrong model for someone with J-cups.

This too, will have a drawn example, so future me knows what I did wrong.

I am now saving up to buy another one, double as expensive. My eyesight has gotten worse, but I kind of need the binder more, my eyes waited a year so they can wait another three months.

You thought you were slick when coming out

You were not. Apparently two of your TTRPG players had missed the news and message you put on your general discord chat back in December.

One was left shocked when you mentioned something about it, as they had missed it.

The other was confused until they asked what everyone was talking about, and then apologized profusely.

Mio, you probably should've done a better job.

This was a rather long post from the little hiatus, but far more than that has happened and I will make updates on it after my birthday in two weeks ❤💕

[feyhunter78]

Turn of the Tide, Call of the Sea (2/?)

Description: Aemond and Helaena reflect on the party, and their newly developing feelings for the mysterious strangers from the sea.

Aemond was furious, he was confused, he was insulted, and he was enamored. Truly and completely enamored. Alyra Hawthorne had not only managed to win his heart in a matter of hours, but she also robbed, and knocked him out cold. He had to have her, no one but that—temptress, that sweet voiced, golden eyed woman who stole his heart with a single line of flattery would he accept at his side.

His sister wasn’t fairing much better, she sat at her window, and sighed, drawing the portrait of a man over and over again.

“Do you know this man, or is he one of your book characters?” He asked, leaning over to see what she was drawing.

Helaena snapped her sketchbook closed. “That is none of your business, brother, have you made any progress on finding your future bride?”

Aemond sat beside her with a groan. “The Hawthorne family owned a small perfumery, that went up in flames seven years ago, consuming their family home. Her father and brother died in the flames, but Lady Alyra and her mother were declared missing. No one has heard from either of them since the fire.”

“Incorrect.” Came their grandfather’s voice, followed by the heavy thud of papers landing.

Aemond pulled the top sheet. “Jacaerys Targaryen, wanted for piracy, theft, arson, murder, bootlegging, and a long list of other crimes. What does this have to do with Lady Alyra?”

Otto cleared his throat and pointed to the next wanted poster.

There staring back at Aemond sketched in black ink was Alyra. The artist gave her a roguish smile, her eyes gazing out at him, and her crimes were listed out the same as Jacaerys’.

“You desire to marry a criminal, a filthy pirate.” Otto snapped, tapping Alyra’s picture harshly.

Helaena had the poster for Jacaerys in her hands, and the light left her eyes as she scanned it.

“Clearly, I had no knowledge of her crimes until now.” Aemond said, his eye tracing her features, lingering on her lips. They were so soft against his, and the scent of her, honeysuckle, and lavender, overwhelmed his senses. He’d been able to hang onto one of her gloves and kept it tucked away in his desk drawer.

She was a pirate? His sweet girl, who danced with him, who kissed him with such passion? The woman who stole his signet ring, obviously issuing a challenge to him. To come and find her, to claim her as his own.

Helaena took the poster up to her room and sat on her bed, staring at it. This was her love, the man in her dreams. Could she have seen his portrait before? No, he’d aged as she had, unless… She hated when she had her visions, they left her weak and unsteady, but her mother thought that perhaps they were signs of greater power.

She pulled out her sketchbook and compared the drawings, a perfect match. Except that she had added the freckles across his nose, and the way the corners of his lips would quirk up whenever he saw her. She traced his features with her fingertips, at least she had a name for him, the dreams were odd like that, whenever he tried to tell her his name the sound would be muffled.

“Jacaerys Targaryen, scourge of the seas.” She whispered, trying to imagine the kind man she’d come to know as a cold-blooded killer. Her mind couldn’t do it, instead she was reminded of all the times he held her as she cried or told her about his family.

She tucked the poster into her sketchbook and began to get ready for bed.

She was on a beach, a secluded one, tucked into a cove he’d told her. He sat waiting for her in their normal spot, under the shade of the palm trees.

“My flower.” He called to her, standing, and brushing the sand from his pants, and starting towards her.

“You’re a pirate.” She said, remaining firmly in place even as he reached for her.

His eyebrows furrowed. “Why do you say that?”

“My grandfather brought your wanted poster in, along with Lady Alyra’s.”

Jacaerys gave her a sheepish smile. “My apologies for Alyra’s behavior, but she’s not going to give your brother’s ring back.”

Helaena shook her head. “How could you keep such a secret from me? How could you not tell me you were real?”

“My sweet flower, I never denied being flesh and bone, you refused to believe me.” He took her hands in his and pressed quick kisses to her knuckles. “I did not tell you that I was a pirate because I didn’t believe it mattered, I enjoyed being able to be your love. Not Captain Jacaerys, the heir, the scourge of the seas.”

Helaena melted as his lips brushed over her skin, bringing to mind their passionate embrace only a week ago. “How will we ever meet now? My family will never let me meet with a pirate.”

Jacaerys lead her over to their spot. “I am currently working on a way to see you. It will have to wait though, my ship left Oldtown a week ago, and we’re headed to the eastern coast to pick up a shipment.” His voice was apologetic, and she let him pull her into his arms. “I’m sorry Helaena, if I had known you were in Oldtown that night I would have come and stolen you away.”

Helaena turned her head, so he couldn’t see the pink tinting her cheeks. “My brothers would hunt you down.”

Jacaerys laughed, “I’d like to see them try and catch me. The Vermax is the fastest ship on the narrow sea.”

Names and information flowed easier between them now that their names had been revealed in the waking world, it was nice, she enjoyed hearing the way his tongue curled around her name practically caressing each syllable.

“My brother intends to marry your Lady Alyra, or well he did, I’m not sure how he feels now. He truly detests pirates.”

 “I shouldn’t hold a place for him on my crew, then?” He teased, nuzzling his nose against hers.

She giggled, and shook her head, the image of Aemond on a pirate ship was a humorous one. “I do not believe he’d be very happy to even hear of that offer.”

Jacaerys’ back was against the tree, and she sat sideways in his lap, head resting against his chest. He brushed a lock of her hair behind her ear. “A pity. Luckily for me, I have his sister as a consolation prize.”

“Ah, but you do not have me, not yet.”

“I beg of you, don’t remind me; it is torture to wake up each morning without you in my arms.”

“I feel the same, I am so cold when I wake, and you are not beside me.” She lamented, intertwining their fingers. Now, knowing that he is real, that some power connects them, will make waking up each morning much harder.

“Hold out hope, Helaena, soon we shall be together.” He promised, holding their joined hands to his heart.

She's shaken awake by her mother, whose warm brown eyes are filled with regret. “Your grandfather wishes to speak with you.”

Helaena stands outside her grandfather’s office, picking at the embroidery on her sleeves.

“Come in Helaena.”

She walks in and immediately notices how distressed her grandfather looks. His eyes are sunken, his desk is disorganized, and a bottle of whiskey sits on the floor beside his desk.

“Is something amiss?”

“That Targaryen bitch has raided another one of our ships, someone must marry and boost our coffers.”

“Aegon, is of marrying age.” She suggested, fearing her grandfather’s next words.

“I’ve already decided. You will marry Lord Tobias Hawkings. He’s wealthy, his wife passed two years ago, and he has no children. He has even agreed to forget about your dowry in exchange for your arrival within the month.”

Helaena has to sit, or she fears she’ll faint. “I wish to stay here. I beg of you, do not send me away.” Tears ran down her face as she begged her grandfather not to ship her off, sending her even further away from Jacaerys.

“He is paying good money for you, Helaena; I will not have your childish emotions prevent our family from thriving.” He snapped, turning his back to her.

“I will marry the Lannister boy, I swear, I will cause no trouble, just please do not make me marry that lecher.”

She’d met Tobias Hawkings once before; he was callous and leered in a way that caused even Aegon to step in between them. Now that was the man who’d bought her like cattle at an auction. She would marry the Lannister’s son, they’d made the suggestion to Helaena’s mother the night of the party, surely it wasn’t too late now.

“It’s too late to change your mind, Helaena, they’ve already withdrawn their offer.”

She buried her face in her hands. “Please, if you have ever loved me, do not do this.”

Her grandfather stood and placed a hand on her shoulder. “It is because I love you and the rest of our family that I must do this.”

Tag List: @nyctophilic0vitnir

[dragonmuse]

Could we get Izzy’s perspective at the passport office when he ran into Pru? I also wonder if he would bring Lucius’ drawing to their coffee meeting? I’m loving the “and be prudent” tag!!

(@objective-j also requested more of Pru and Izzy meeting, so here is more of that from Izzy's POV. and lol I don't usually give the more minor OCs tags, but that one felt right! Also Pru seems well liked so she may crop up from time to time.)

“No fucking way,” Lucius voice echoed around the car. “For a big city, this place can be small as hell. Are you okay?” 

“I don’t know,” Izzy admitted. He hadn’t actually pulled out of his parking space. He didn’t actually have anywhere to go, a lie told to let him escape. “Sort of. I mean I barely knew her. She was a kid.” 

“Why don’t you come over, huh? I’ll make you a drink while I do prep.” 

“Yeah, yeah all right.”  

The back door was closed, but unlocked when he arrived and slipped inside. The Swede was sweeping and singing along to ‘Dancing Queen’, occasionally swirling the broom around. Eddy was laying down on the stage pointing up at some of the lighting while Jim stood over them. When Izzy entered, they gave him a lazy finger wave. 

“Hey, boss.” 

“Iz!” Eddy cried out from the floor. “What are you doing here?” 

“Stealing your liquor.” 

“Don’t tell Stede, he gets prickly about that.” 

“Why the fuck would I tell him?” Izzy rolled his eyes. “Are you stuck down there?” 

“Nope, trying to figure out which bulb is flickering. It’s not doing it regularly, so if I stay down here I might catch it and we can replace it before show time.” 

“You’ll get spots in your vision.” 

“Probably!” 

Izzy decided against continued argument. Jim could handle it. Or just sit there and wait for their ‘I told you so moment’. Both seemed equally satisfying. He took his usual seat at the bar and didn’t have to wait long for Lucius to emerge from storage brandishing vodka bottles in both hands. 

“Goblin!” he set the bottles down on the bar and came over to give him an acessing look. “Figured out how you’re feeling yet?” 

“Working on it.” 

“Pink or yellow?” 

Izzy didn’t bother asking for what. “Yellow.” 

“Cool, try this,” Lucius set a martini glass in front of him. It had about an inch of very yellow liquid in it. 

Izzy took a sip and did his best to keep his face neutral. “Little sour.” 

“Damnit,” Lucius sighed, picking it up and taking a sip himself. “Ooooh shit. Yeah. Okay. Went too hard on the pucker.” 

“What’s the pink?” 

“Same idea, less sour, more strawberry. I want to put a few fun drinks on the menu for February. You know the month of loooove.” 

“Cute,” Izzy shook his head. “Yellow one doesn’t really seem in line.” 

“Excuse you, but I’m in love with a sourpuss myself,” Lucius grinned. 

Izzy huffed out a pleased laugh. “Is that what you’re going to call it?” 

“Maaaybe. We’ll see. Got to make it drinkable first. For now,” Lucius poured him a straight up shot of vodka and set in front of him. “Down that than talk to me.” 

“Thanks.” He threw it back and then set the glass aside. “I don’t know. It was sudden. Barely recognized her.” 

“How old was she the last time you saw her?” 

“Fourteen, maybe fifteen. And yeah, decades ago.” 

“Does...I don’t know. Did she look like Faith?” Lucius talked about her now like he had known her too and Izzy hadn’t known how much he’d needed that. 

“She didn’t back then. I mean yeah, you could tell they were sisters, but Pru was taller already by the time I met Faith. I mostly recognized her from her nose. Pru had a very up-turned nose as a kid. Between that and the accent, I got there.” 

“What was she like?” 

“Only talked to for a minute. Mad, mostly.” 

“Why?” 

“The ring.” 

“Shit. Really?” 

“I showed it to her. She didn’t know it was from me, apparently. They threw out all of....” he couldn’t really think about that. Couldn’t say it. “Gave her my card, then go the fuck out of there.” 

“Uh, Iz. You gave her your business card?”

“Yeah, I didn’t want to go through the whole dance of trying to give her my number.” 

Lucius lifted his brows, “So, you know that I think it’s incredibly sweet and all, but uh, did you tell her what you named the business?” 

Izzy stared at him for a long second, then groaned and dropped his face into his hands. “Shit.” 

“I think it’s fine. I’m sure she’ll draw the right conclusion from it.” 

“What conclusion?” He asked into his palms. “Is there one that doesn’t make me seem kind of pathetic?” 

“There is nothing pathetic about how you love people,” Lucius chided. “It’s enduring. It’s beautiful. And kind of obsessive, but lucky for you I’m into that.” 

“Thanks,” he sighed. “Well. It’s done anyway. Doubt she’ll call.” 

“Bet she will,” Lucius countered. “Hey, you think she’s got a photo of her?” 

“No idea. Possible.” 

“HA! FOUND IT! FUCK YOU LIGHTING FIXTURE!” 

“I think I’m going to be asked to get the stepladder,” Lucius determined. He dropped a kiss in Izzy’s hair. 

Izzy stuck around, watching the entire inefficient show that was the Revenge staff trying to change a lightbulb. If it had been happening in his home base, he would’ve killed all of them, but here it was mostly amusing. Distracting. 

He stayed for the show too, then gathered a goodbye kiss from Lucius before heading back home.  It wasn’t until he had eaten a late dinner, finished the book he was reading, showered and gotten into bed that his feelings caught up with him. He lay in the dark and let the grief wash over him. It had been a long time since he’f felt it so hard. 

Izzy: figured it out. Sad.  

Lucius:  That tracks. Sucks though. 

It did suck. Izzy fell asleep about it and felt mostly all right in the morning. The tingle of potential incoming complication didn’t leave right away, but he still had to move through his day. She wasn’t going to call, he reminded himself. No use in getting worked up over a chance meeting. 

He only dimly remembered Pru as part of the amalgam that had been Faith’s terrible family. He pictured her yelling down the stairs as Faith went out the door or tucked in behind her mother like a miniature version of her. Faith would complain about her, the way she stole, rifled through her things, talked incessantly and complained endlessly. 

Izzy had hated Delly like that once. 

Mid-day, he picked up his phone and texted. 

Izzy: If you don’t have plans, I can get the kid tonight for a few hours. Had a change in plans. 

Delly: Really? Yes! That’d be great.  

Izzy hadn’t had any plans at all. But he couldn’t really do much for Delly at fifteen, abandoned to handle their parents alone. This he could do. 

When he picked Pickle up, he asked casually, 

“I can’t remember, were you in the same grade as Prudence Callahan?” 

“Hm?” Delly was moping off Pickle’s face after a close encounter with a very ketchup intensive hamburger.  “Uh...no? I think she was in the grade or two above me. I remember the name. Wait. Wasn’t that your girlfriend’s sister?” 

“Yeah. Ran into her the other day.” 

“That must’ve been fun. Ok, take her purple backpack by the door and you two are good to go. Bye, sweetheart. Don’t wear your uncle out.” 

“Kay!” Pickle wrapped herself around Izzy’s arm. “Bye, Mommy!” 

It was easy to forget his own shit when he had Pickle. She needed his full attention. He dropped her back off, both of them tired, sticky and with far more knowledge of Barbie’s fairy kingdom than they had been at the beginning of the night. 

“Thanks, asshole,” Delly grimaced as Pickle explained exactly how much ice cream she’d eaten. 

“You’re fucking welcome,” he said pleased. Despite herself, Delly looked far more relaxed and in another room, Izzy could hear Thomas whistling. Disgusting. He hid a smile. 

The days passed and each one that ticked by without a call, Izzy let go a little more. What did it matter? They had nothing to say to each other. Lucius did hand him something mid-week. 

“Just in case.”  He’d offered and Izzy had taken it. Couldn’t hurt to have on hand.  

Nearly a full month passed and he’d practically forgotten about the encounter at all, especially when he had to take Read to the E.R. in the middle when she’d stepped in to prevent a beating of the guy they were following. Man just had a stupid mouth, he probably didn’t deserve to get the shit kicked out of him, but Read had gotten a rib busted for her trouble. Izzy lectured her all through the long sit in the waiting room and she’d taken it with an annoying fond smile. 

Asshole kid. 

So it was with some surprise that he opened an email absently on Thursday and read a request to meet for coffee. He agreed and they set a time and a place. 

“Do you want me to come?” Lucius offered. 

“No, it’s okay,” he decided. “Don’t want her to feel ganged up on. I think I spook her as is.” 

“Yeah, bet you scare all the soccer moms, hot stuff.” 

But she’d mentioned her boyfriend’s kid. Possibly she had her own, but when she slid into her seat across from him in her immaculate white knitwear and precise haircut, it seemed unlikely. 

They regarded each other over steaming cups. 

“You’ve done well for yourself,” Pru said eventually. “I saw your website, read some reviews.” 

“We get by,” he agreed. “What about you?” 

“I’m an interior designer. Mostly personal spaces, but I’ve done a few offices.” 

“Huh, what’s that like?” 

Pru seemed relieved to talk about something familiar, so he asked a few questions, letting her ramble a little about her work. When she ran out of steam though, she grimaced. 

“This isn’t what you want to talk about, is it?” 

“It’s fine,” he shrugged. “It’s a lot to face headon.” 

“She’s been dead way longer than she was alive,” Pru said bluntly. “And I think about her a lot, but not name my business and keep her ring around my neck every day a lot. Back then, I didn’t figure you cared much at all really.” 

“What do you mean?” He frowned. 

“I mean you were around a lot, but I figured...” she sighed. “You know. Why does any high school boy stick around a girl?” 

Izzy barked a dry laugh, startled by the bluntness, but welcoming it. “Yeah, no. I’m gay.” 

Pru stared at him then spluttered out a ragged, “What? Did she know?”

“I didn’t know then. She wanted a guy who would protect her and not touch her in ways she didn’t want to be touched and I was good for that,” he said, but the words no longer sat so easily on his tongue. 

Years together. Years that were volatile and strange. He’d watched from a distance and now a little closer as Mary’s kids struggled through high school, the way Alma fell in and out of relationships and Charlie barely seemed old enough to consider them. 

“And we loved each other,” he amended. “A lot. By the end anyway.” 

She nodded slowly. “I can see that. I wish...I don’t know what I would’ve done with that back then, but I still wish I’d known that.” 

“She didn’t trust you,” he said then wished he hadn’t. What was the point all those years later?” 

“I know,” Pru didn’t look hurt. “I tattled on her one too many times. Stole from her. Made fun of her. She gave it back too. She was no saint.” 

“Yeah, she had a mouth on her,” he said and it was hard not to make it sound like praise. 

“Once she told me I was too stupid to tell my feet from my hands. I was nine,” Pru said, her lips twitching like she might smile over it. “I actually worried about that for weeks.” 

“She used to call anyone who cut us off on a bike ‘filthy dickbags’.” 

“Oh my god,” Pru did smile. “You know Dad used to be all over us about swearing. I still can barely say ‘hell’ without wincing. Guess she was braver than me.” 

“Did you get out?” 

“Soon as I turned 18.” 

“Then I’d say just as brave. Braver. If you did it on your own.” 

“I did,” Pru lifted her chin, eyes glinting. And there, just for a second, she did look just like Faith. Izzy had to look away. 

“I uh...you said you didn’t have much of hers?” 

“Just the boots. Ran out in them. Sturdier than my sneakers back then. I still have them, but that’s it really. Mom and Dad when on rampage, tried to act like she’d never even existed.”  

“No pictures?” 

She shook her head. “Never were a big photo family. Mom might’ve had some, but I didn’t even know she’d died until years after it happened. 

Izzy hadn’t been hoping for much, but that tore at him. Nothing at all. Not for the first time, he wished he believed in a higher power so he could thank them for bringing Lucius into his life. 

“My boyfriend is an artist,” he pulled out the envelope. “He found her yearbook picture and drew this. He made a print for you when I told him I’d run into you.” 

“Seriously?” She took the envelope and opened it with a single long nail. They were nicely painted, some kind of white tip situation. It was precise, like the rest of her. Pru was a woman held together by right angles. Izzy could relate. 

“Yeah, I think it’s good, but I’m not really-” 

“Oh my god,” she gasped as she drew out the paper “It’s her. That’s her.” 

He sat back, watched her take it in, pressing her hand to the paper.  “Thank him for me. Please.” 

“I will.” 

“Oh my god,” she said again and closed her eyes. “I half think I made her up sometimes. Is that strange?” 

“No. I know the feeling.” 

“I think I need to go before I start bawling in public,” she said quietly. “But...I’d like to talk again. If that’s okay. Maybe meet your boyfriend so I can say thank you in person.” 

“Any time,” he found himself promising. 

She didn’t take her coffee with her. Izzy bussed it for her, tossing both their half-finished cups away. He decided to walk back home. It was raining every so slightly, the terrible mist of late fall that clung and made everything damp instead of properly wet. 

“Your sister turned out okay,” he mumbled. What was another gray haired guy talking to himself on the street? People could mind their fucking business. “I think you’d like her now. Maybe not. Maybe you’d just tolerate her during the holidays. Would’ve done that with you too.” 

He could imagine it so easily. Faith hadn’t liked parties, neither had he, but they probably would go to Delly’s annual romp anyway or whatever fussy Martha Stewart nightmare Pru might do. Maybe both and after they’d compare notes, trying to outdo each other on who had the most passive-aggressive thing said to them. Faith would win since Delly tended to be more massive-aggressive. 

Or maybe...maybe they would’ve enjoyed both in their own way. Or maybe they wouldn’t have made it there together even if she lived. 

None of it mattered. He couldn’t live his life in what-ifs. What he had was a Lucius, who was getting very thoroughly thanked when he came home tomorrow night and someone else to reminisce with from time to time. That was more than enough. 

[tmblrcolouredpaper]

Luxury

Kim Seungmin/ Reader

Jealousy, Established Relationship, Apologies, Domestic Fluff, Autumn, Communication, Crying, Kissing, Hugs, talking about experiencing love, Consensual Kissing, Hurt&Comfort

wc: 3151

Seungmin's jealousy caused him to feel totally frustrated, but he remembered that he wasn't alone and that he was supported even when he messed up a bit.

`You said yourself it was stupid. Why are you crying then?`

He sniffled, tried to blink the tears away, turning away, scared you might be angry at him. 

`No, no, it’s fine!’, you exclaimed, `I just asked, because I’m a bit confused.`

You scooped over to him onto the brown leather sofa that was covered by a soft orange blanket and some creme colored pillows. One of them fell down when you moved over to the brown haired man sitting there busy trying to silence his outburst of emotions that was so contrary to his words from just some minutes ago. 

Sitting close to him now, you realized that you were unsure of what to do, so you simply asked: `Can I hug you?`

He still didn’t turn towards you and covered his eyes with his sweater paws, while some more intense sobs made his shoulders move up and down.

However he didn’t answer your question, so you leaned back, not wanting to leave him alone. 

When he realized he couldn’t calm down and that you didn’t move away from him, he saw no other solution than just letting it all out, all the tears, all the cries, all the emotion that he bottled up and denied for a long time. 

He felt like he needed to gather all his courage and remind himself of all the trust he had in you to ask `Would you please hold me?`, but that’s exactly what he did and with no hesitation you threw your arms around him and pulled him close, his head finally resting against you, so that you could give him little kisses on his temple, on his forehead and whatever your lips could reach.

In a calming manner your hand brushed through his hair, massaging his scalp and drawing patterns on his shoulder and upper arms as well. 

It was impossible for you to sit still. Only holding him like an adjusted mannequin felt like you didn’t do enough, but nothing could be enough. You wanted to give him at least the world and if he disliked it, you would do anything to keep him safe from the world. It might be unrealistic, but he made so many things real for you, even things you were convinced couldn’t be real. 

`Sor-ry, oh no, no, sor-ry-y-y.`, he sniffled between sobs and falling tears, `Your beautiful dre-e-ess.`

With those words he pushed away and stood up to walk to the window.

The afternoon sun shone right through it and supported the orange accents that were already present in the living room. It all felt warm despite the chilly autumn wind.

It always felt warm with him though. 

The fresh air seemed to do its work and Seungmin stopped crying. 

`Can we leave the window open? The air feels so good.`, he asked quietly and you agreed right away what caused him to thank you. 

His behavior confused you. Not only because he cried out of the blue when he was trying to convince you that everything was alright and he was just acting a bit stupidly when he raged out on you for talking to his acquaintance this morning, but also because since then he was much more quiet than usual and thanked and apologized for every single thing you or he did. 

`Seungmin, what’s going on?`, you asked calmly, getting up from the sofa and collected the fallen pillow to put it back in place. 

He turned around and leaned back against the windowsill, crossing his arms with a big sigh. 

`It’s stupid.`, he stated again.

`You already said that, but you’re still upset and I don’t care how stupid you think it is, if it makes you shed even a single tear I-`

`Okay, okay.`, he interrupted and shook his head, looking down, a soft smile painting his beautiful face. 

He pushed himself off the surface behind him and extended his arms towards you, telling you to come to him, so that he could hold you. 

He was warm and his smell occupied your senses as soon as you leaned your head agains him, while his arms rested loosely around your waist. 

`You always smell so good.`, you whispered absently what caused him to laugh, but he couldn’t cover his mouth as he would usually do, because he was already holding you and nothing could make him let you go once he had you so close. He might not be the touchiest person, but he would always be the last to let go, lingering in a hug always a moment longer than necessary, because he didn’t care about necessities when he was with you. Suddenly all luxury became a norm he wanted to maintain, not any monetary goods, but those precious moments that can be overseen, their importance and joy even forgotten so easily. 

`I love your laugh so much.`, you whispered again, caressing his sides. Even now, being held by him, you couldn’t stay still without taking action yourself and letting him feel how much you enjoy having him with you. 

`I love you so much, you know that.`, he whispered back almost inaudible, but clearly understandable for your ears. 

`I love you too, but I think you know that.`, you giggled, well aware of how expressive you were. 

He tightened his grip around you and sank his head onto yours.

`It was stupid though, it still is, me crying over it is so so stupid.`

You shook your head as much as it was possible in this position. 

`Did I cross a line or something? Did I do anything? Because I don’t think I did, but then again you were so jealous. Maybe I missed something?`

He shook his head slightly. He didn’t want to let go of you, but he felt like he needed to look into your eyes. 

`You’re so beautiful, you know that?`, he asked, holding both of your hands. 

`It’s the dress, isn’t it?’, you smiled and he smiled back. 

`The dress is indeed, but I meant that you’re beautiful.`

`I don’t know what to respond.’, you whispered, feeling even warmer right now, somehow overwhelmed, so you sank your head to avoid looking directly at him. 

`You don’t have to respond anything.`, he said and searched for eye contact again, `I just wanted to tell you. I don’t know if I can explain myself properly here. I was obviously jealous and I handled it really immaturely. I’m sorry.’

`You don’t have to apologize.`

`I do have to. I shouldn’t have raged out, snapping at you like this. It must have been uncomfortable for you, especially in front of those people. You were just talking to them and I behaved like a total idiot, because of it.`

`I accept your apology. Honestly, I almost forgot it even happened. I was worried, because you acted so weirdly afterwards.`

`I know. Can I try to explain?`, he asked with a hint of unsureness in his voice. 

`Of course.`, you said and gave him an assuring smile combined with a squeeze of his hands that were holding yours throughout the whole time. He smiled back and looked a bit more relaxed. 

`Want to sit down? It’s getting a bit fresh at the window.`

Just then you recognized the goose bump on your arms. It was silly how you forgot the real world once you were close to him. It always felt all warm and cozy combined with the calmness that only he could radiate. 

Wrapped in the orange blanked, arranged pillows around you and with the window that opened the view to the setting sun and colorful falling leaves dancing through the air, you took his hand and and gently caressed his knuckles. 

`Aaah, it tickles.`, he exclaimed and threw his head back with a giggle, covering his face with the free hand that was already engulfed by the fabric of his sweater. 

`Why am I like this around you?`, he questioned, looking at you, his eyes still showing the after glimmer of his genuine laugh. 

`Like what?´, you asked and stopped the movements on his hand. 

`Stupid, no, intense? I feel everything so much more intense and it’s just so strong, I can’t control myself.`, he tried to explain as exactly according to his experience as possible. 

`You said you loved me, maybe it’s that?`, you suggested. 

`Maybe. But you’re not behaving weirdly like I do.`

`Are you questioning if I truly love you?`, you asked jokingly, leaning your head to the side. 

He knew you, he could read you well and understood with no doubt that you were amused by him here, maybe you were even trying to loosen up the atmosphere unconsciously to make it more natural, less weirdly intense for him. 

`Of course not. I wanted to ask how you experience loving me.`, he said and looked at you curiously. The blanket fell from you shoulder and he reached out to adjust it. He didn’t just take his hand back right away, but caressed your cheek in a loving manner first. 

`Hmmm. I don’t think any words could do justice to the feeling, but I can try giving you an insight of my heart.’

He nodded and leaned a bit more into the sofa to get more comfortable. He loved hearing you talk and he was genuinely curious about what you had to say.

`Well, first of all I always feel warm around you and when you say something sweet to me I feel overwhelmed by warmth. It’s almost uncomfortable, but it never reaches that point.`

He nodded, understood what you meant somehow, but he was still surprised how chill you were about it. 

`There are those simple things, like that I feel safe with you, I trust you and I am completely comfortable, I don’t really doubt myself to improve to please you or something like this, because you’ve never gave me a reason to, but I don’t think that’s love. That’s just you being a decent person. It’s still an important part of why I can allow myself experiencing loving you.`, you continued and he nodded again.

`So, you could love an asshole? But you wouldn’t allow yourself pursuing anything just because you feel something like love?`

`I think so, yes.`

`Good. Never go after someone like this, okay?`

You smiled in amusement. 

`I won’t, I promise. I have you right now anyways.`

`And that’s enough?`

`Enough? You’re so much more than enough!`

He smiled and felt the warmness that you were talking about. It was so silly to him, but after those words he just wanted to cry again, feeling so happy, so loved and just so whole. 

`Okay, so, I think I experience loving you not only in a way of a me feeling, but also in like an external focus on you. Like, you naturally became my priority. I don’t only think of what I want to eat for dinner, but also what you might want and when I’m bored and on Instagram, I search for new filters you might like, so that I can send them to you, because I know they make you happy. When I see you happy, I’m happy too and when you’re sad or upset, I’m stressed out thinking what can be done, so you’re not anymore. I simply forget the world around me and you become the only world, my only reality and the best part is that it’s not even scary. I’m looking forward to be in this kind of reality and I enjoy you being my world.`

He couldn’t say anything and just stared at you in disbelief. You explained it so much more abstract and really corny, but he didn’t find it funny, he completely believed you.

Happiness filled his mind when he recapitulated your words and realized that you seemed to be truly happy with him. At the same time worry arose, because other than you, he did feel scared and he didn’t know why. 

His smile vanished and he started overthinking.

Your hand on his started drawing circles on his skin and pulled him back, out of his mind.

`I do feel scared.`, he confessed bluntly. 

`Of what?`, you asked calmly, observing him lowering his eyebrows, thinking of his words, while you continued playing with his hand in a subtle way.

`Of not really being enough, like not interesting enough? You could just leave me and be with someone else and as long as you’re happy I would be fine with it, but I am trying really hard to be good for you. I don’t try to change myself, but I try to be more attentive and more nice in moments I don’t feel like I have any niceness or any energy for compliments left. You deserve all the compliments, you deserve everything, but it doesn’t come natural to me. I always have to remind myself to consider you. Maybe I’m not used to you being in my life like this yet, but honestly, I just feel really selfish most of the time. I- I already feel selfish for having you by my side.`

Tears were forming in your eyes and you stopped your movements on his hand, now sitting completely still, trying not to break down. 

Seungmin recognized your behavior right away and smiled weakly. 

`Come here.`, he whispered and signaled you to come close to him, so he could hold you. 

Some tears escaped your eyes and spilled on his hoodie, but he just used the paws to wipe away the remaining tears on your face. A gentle touch of soft fabric under your eyes combined with his smell that you liked so much, as well as his calm personality created the perception of reality that only he was able to create. This other form of reality in which nothing mattered, but you and him. It was minimalistic, but sure intense, just that you were more scared of the world out there and comforted by the world that he defined. 

`Maybe I feel loving you so intensely in sometimes an uncomfortable way, because I am still scared.`

`I think it’s normal.`, you sobbed, `Everything is normal regardless how different it might be.`

`And you’re not scared at all?`, he questioned quietly. 

`I’m scared of a reality without you and I am also scared that I am scared of that.`

He leaned back, now laying on the sofa with you on top of him, hindering you from falling down by setting up his legs, so that you were laying between them. Some pillows fell off the surface in the process of getting in this position and the orange blanket was somewhere next to you, not covering your bodies anymore, while the autumn wind blew into the room in form of a low breeze.

`Let’s be scared together then. Until we’re not anymore?`

`Yes, let’s just become fearless.`, you answered sarcastically. 

`Okay, okay. Let’s become less scared? I won’t act all jealous anymore for sure.`

`You can be jealous, you can cry out of frustration, just don’t rage out irrationally like you did today?`

`I promise, I won’t.`, he felt brave and safe at the same time, he felt like you wouldn’t reject him here right not even when he would sound completely desperate and clingy, `Will you hold me when I cry out of stupidness? Even if it’s really silly, because I see you being all beautiful talking and laughing with someone who is not me?’

`I will always hold you when you need me to.`

`You really are that beautiful, you know that?`, he asked and caressed your cheek. 

`Is it the dress?`, you asked smiling. 

`Yes, you look beautiful too, don’t worry.`, he assured and giggled, placing his head down on the sofa, enjoying your warmth on top of him, suddenly feeling tired from being so vulnerable.

His eyes got heavy and your calm movements of your hand drawing invisible patterns on his chest and shoulders were hypnotic. Without recognizing he fell asleep. 

After some time he opened his eyes not fully awake, but awoken by the missing warmth. Your body was replaced by the orange blanket and the window was closed, however he was freezing nevertheless. 

`Was it a dream.`, he thought, completely disconnected from reality, unaware of what really happened, what words were really spoken. If it was just a dream, it was beautiful one for sure, but when he saw you entering the room, still in the same dress he remembered you wearing before, he was relieved and truly happy. Unsure of wether the conversation was a dream or not, he smiled at you, just happy that you were there. 

You smiled back and went towards him, crouching down next to the sofa that seemed much darker since the sun vanished completely. Your hand reached out to hold his and he quickly pulled yours towards his lips to place a small kiss onto your palm that you closed immediately after. 

`I’ll never let that kiss go.`, you whispered and giggled. 

`I’ll give you as many as you want, whenever you want, don’t worry.´

`And you assume I would let any of them go?`

`No, I don’t… The day was exhausting.`

`Hmmm. Many tears.`

`I kind of like crying with you. It’s not ideal, but I still enjoyed it. It felt good.`

`Hmm.`

`You’re tired?`

`Hmmm.`

He opened the blanket and pulled you up, using your hand that he was still holding. You stumbled onto him and he pushed you over to the side gently, pushing his own body further to the edge to make you space. Trapped in between the back of the sofa and Seungmin’s body you closed your eyes and felt the orange blanket falling onto you. When he scooped closer again, you instinctively placed small kisses onto his clothed chest, nuzzling into it. He felt it so strongly, the warmth you were talking about and couldn’t keep himself from smiling and even with eyes closed, you could picture his beautiful smile and smiled as well. 

`I’m so happy with you.`, he whispered and received more kissed that wandered up until you reached his neck. It didn’t stop there and he started laughing, because it tickled, at the same time he didn’t want you to stop ever. 

`May I kiss you properly?`, you asked quietly, looking up to him. 

`Yes, please.`, he whispered back and you pushed yourself up on the surface until your face was right in front of him. 

It was the same as with all the hugs you shared, Seungmin would linger a bit longer, his lips not wanting to leave yours, not ready before you were.

With time he would learn that those moments may vanish earlier than he wished they did, but he can trust that you would bring them back whenever he wanted or needed this kind of luxury and that itself was luxury.

[lawful-evil-novelist]

Just Need to Breathe

@fluffbruary Day 25 a little late on the draw but I had a pretty busy afternoon all things considered.  Another Scriddler for your enjoyment. Ao3 link here.

---

Edward woke when Jonathan’s breathing hiked.  He was usually so quiet when he slept, anytime he made sound was cause for waking.  The room fell still for a moment, then Jonathan let out a low whine.

Edward bolted upright and spun to Jonathan about in time for a wild swing to catch him square in the eye.  He almost fell, but scrambled back and offered a hand for Jonathan to latch onto.  His eyes were closed; he still slept soundly, but the sheer terror that contorted his face was as real as his sleep.  Jonathan cried out, he whimpered and grabbed Edward’s arm.  His nails dug into Edward's skin and he flinched, but he did not move to pull his arm back.  This was all he could do.

There had been a time, not so long ago, that Edward would have tried to comfort Jonathan, to reassure or wake him.  He’d long since learned that was a futile effort; he just needed to be there when Jonathan finally opened his eyes.  He couldn't panic.  He had to breathe.

Jonathan woke with a harsh inhale, blue eyes snapping open wide, his pupils no more than pinpricks.  His breaths came fast, shallow, and desperate.

"Jon," Edward whispered, his other hand combing gently through Jonathan's curls.  "It's okay.  You're okay.  I'm here."

Jonathan swallowed and took a few more breaths, these deeper and fuller.  His grip on Edward's arm relaxed a little, and he pulled himself upright.  His forehead rested on Edward's shoulder.

"Sorry," he croaked.

"Shhh," Edward kept that steady combing motion going as best he could.  "You're fine.  Worry less about me and more about yourself."

Edward shifted so his arm was draped around Jonathan, who added more weight to his lean as Edward shifted to support him better.  Jonathan kept breathing deeply, and Edward ran his thumb across Jonathan’s back.

“Do you need some water?” he asked.

“Mmhm.”

“Would you like to come with me?”

“Mmhm.”

Edward helped Jonathan to his feet and gently kissed his fingertips as he led his boyfriend into the living room, then the kitchen, holding him tightly.  He just needed to be there right now, to be a grounding influence.  He just needed to breathe.

Edward got a glass from the cupboard and poured water from the pitcher in the fridge.  Jonathan drained the glass slowly, then set it down with a heavy sigh.  Edward kept his hand on  Jonathan’s back, thumb rubbing back and forth, slow and careful.

“Doing better?”

“Yeah,” Jonathan leaned on Edward with a half-smile.  “Thanks.”

“You’ve helped me time and time again before,” Edward offered, “I think it’s fair enough to give you the same.  You wanna sit on the couch until you’re feeling better?”

“Yeah, that’d be nice.”

Edward laid back on the couch and Jonathan settled on his chest, hugging him around the waist.  He tangled his hand in Jonathan’s curls, looping his fingers through the tight ringlets.  He could feel Jonathan fiddling with his rosary at his back, then closed his eyes and listened for the hushed Latin to fall from his lips.  Edward hadn’t heard the prayers of a rosary before he met Jonathan, but he had learned them by heart, for it soothed him to say them.  He could've drifted off right then and there, if he had the mind to, listening to that gentle repetition and feeling the repeated rolling of the rosary beads against his spine.

He must’ve, though, for when Edward opened his eyes again, it was because the sun was creeping in through the blinds.  Jonathan lay fast asleep against Edward’s stomach, a soft smile on his face.  Edward adjusted his positioning as best he could so the sun would not be in his eyes, and he relaxed again.  He resolved not to move until Jonathan did; they both needed the rest anyway.

[wolken-himmel]

In which (Y/n) visits her younger brother who attends NRC as a first-year.

During her visit, Ortho and her younger brother try to matchmake her with Idia.

Request by anon.

"Idia? Pheus is coming over today, you know that, right?"

Ortho's eyes were closed in an innocent fashion as he hovered behind his older brother, who was too busy playing an online match to properly pay attention.

An absent-minded hum escaped Idia's lips, and he vaguely pointed across his cluttered room, over to the corner where he kept his refrigerator and snacks. "Yeah, I got enough popcorn for the three of us." However, he quickly focused his whole attention back to the match when his headphones began slipping off to the side.

Ortho nodded and turned around hesitantly. "And uh... his sister is coming, too."

Upon hearing those words, Idia froze in his seat, and his hands suddenly became paralysed. In a matter of seconds, he lost the round — but, unlike usually, he didn't seem to care about his defeat at all. Instead, he slowly turned around in his chair until he could face his younger brother properly.

"...Pheus has a sister?" Idia cried out nervously.

The robot-boy nodded in excitement. "Yeah! Her name is (Y/n), and she's about your age." A spark of hope seemed to envelop his eyes at the thought of his brother finally interacting with another person that wasn't him or his friends. The boy couldn't help but giggle to himself. "Did you catch the wink I just sent you or was it a nano-second too fast?" Ortho asked playfully.

Idia gulped audibly. "W-What are you implying?"

"Well, Pheus says she's really nice! And I thought you could use some other friends aside from me and him. Preferably someone your age." The robot-boy began whistling to himself in an innocent way, hoping to not draw his brother's wrath upon him as he muttered, "Even Yuu says so."

"Yuu says a lot when the day is long..." Idia muttered and rolled his eyes in frustration. Just wanting to get the whole idea of meeting a complete stranger out of his head, he quickly spun around in his chair and began another round.

Ortho furrowed his eyebrows in concern. "Please, try to get along with her, alright? She's coming in... an hour," he added meekly as he hovered behind his brother.

A quiet scream remained lodged in the dorm leader's throat when he jumped up from his chair in horror. His golden eyes were ripped wide open, glaring at the younger boy. "An hour?!" Idia cried out in desperation. His hands trembled violently as he grabbed his brother's shoulders and shook him back and forth. "That's nearly not enough time to ask wikihow—"

"Oh, I've downloaded a few guides on how to interact with girls. I'll forward them to you!" Ortho exclaimed after having managed to pry himself out of Idia's iron grip. "Pheus needs me now, but we'll be back, soon!" His eyes shone in a reassuring way before he turned around and zoomed out of the room without another word.

Idia remained all alone in his messy room, a frown etched onto his face. "...why did I make Ortho so smart..."

°°°

"I'm so glad you came to visit me, (Y/n)!"

The smile on Pheus' lips grew even larger when he lurched at you to wrap his arms around you.

You couldn't help but chuckle in delight. "Of course. It's been ages since we've last seen each other, Pheus..." you cooed and ran your hand through his (H/c) locks, which proved to be much more difficult than it had been a few years ago. By now, he was almost as tall as you — and he had matured quite a bit, too. Nonetheless, he was still your adorable little brother.

"It has been exactly thirty weeks," Ortho chimed in, "two days, and one hour since you've last seen each other, as per report by Pheus."

You forced an eye open to find golden eyes staring right into yours, as if they were searching through your very soul. Your curiosity peeked, you removed yourself from your brother's tight embrace to look at the stranger for yourself. "Who are you? A friend of Pheus'?" A polite smile graced your lips. Only after having looked him up and down a few times, you noticed his robotic nature.

Your brother nodded eagerly and jumped over to the stranger's side. "Yes! That's my best friend Ortho, (Y/n)." Soon, his innocent eyes adopted a mischievous glint that caused suspicion to arise inside of you. His smile turned into a grin as he exclaimed, "Did you know that he also has an older brother, around your age?"

Ortho nodded eagerly, adding, "And my brother is also very nice, intelligent, funny, and overall just likeable!"

Without waiting for a reaction from your side, they each took a hand of yours and dragged you away into some unknown direction. A playful smile on your lips, you remarked, "You two look like you're up to something..."

The two young boys could barely contain their excitement, causing them to increase their pace. In a matter of minutes, you were practically being dragged through the long hallways of NRC. No other soul passed your way, probably due to classes still being in session. However, you were growing more and more suspicious due to the looks your brother and his friend shot each other.

They quickly caught onto your dismay, as smart as they were. "Just follow us!" Ortho said happily. "We'll introduce you to him."

°°°

"My big brother should be here," Ortho muttered under his breath as he led Pheus and you into a rather dark room, only lit by the light streaming out of a few monitors. With a clap of his hands, the light bulbs attached to the ceiling lit up, revealing the entirety of what seemed like a bed room to you. "This is his wonderful room, after all. Come in, (Y/n)." Ortho wasted no time in grabbing your hand in an adorable fashion, just so he could lead you over to the desk where his brother still sat, busy playing another online match.

Pheus sighed in frustration when Idia wouldn't react to him snapping his fingers. "He seems busy," your brother simply remarked and threw his hands into the air in resignation.

Ortho, on the other hand, seemed much more persistent than Pheus. An innocent glint to his face, the robot-boy tapped his brother's shoulder. "Idia? Earth to Idia! We have a guest!" he yelled to the point where his speakers started vibrating visibly.

However, Idia still wouldn't react whatsoever. So, Ortho didn't see any other option than to flick his fingers against the left shell of his brother's headset, which sent the latter jumping and howling in pain. "O-Ortho—!" the third year cried out as he rubbed his ear in discomfort, his eyes squeezed shut. Quickly, his eyes fluttered open upon again, only to find you standing next to his brother rather awkwardly. Idia jumped in horror, stumbling over his chair and falling to the floor. "Why would you lead the enemy right into our homebase—" A look of pure horror flashed across his face.

Immediately, you bit your lips in concern and stepped forward, just to check if he was alright — your older-sister instinct wouldn't let you do otherwise. "Hey, are you alright?" you asked while extending a hand out to him.

His golden eyes stared up at you, and his chin slowly fell down in awe. "...are you an angel?" he breathed out, only to clasp his hand over his mouth upon realising what he had just said. A blush took over his pale features, and his face began to heat up in embarrassment.

You furrowed your eyebrows. "What?"

By then, Ortho and Pheus couldn't hold back their laughter anymore, and were close to bursting if they tried to suppress their giggles any longer. So, they shot each other a knowing look before simultaneously turning around and walking away. "We'll leave you two alone, then," Pheus threw over his shoulder.

"Wait, what?" you asked. "Where are you going?"

Ortho had his eyes closed in delight as they ventured out of the room. "I heard Sam sells new video games, Pheus."

"Let's go check them out, Ortho!"

Without another word, they were gone — having sprinted away to leave Idia and you all alone in his room. You let out a little scoff at their strange behaviour, and you could have completely drifted off on your rage if it weren't for the whimpers that soon reached your ears.

Your gaze fell to your right, where you found Ortho's older brother still cowering. It even seemed like he was trying to crawl away without you noticing — only that you did notice, which caused him to stop. He froze like a deer in headlights.

Your eyes softened at his almost frightened expression, and the annoyance directed at your brother and his best friend seemed to disappear. "Little brothers, am I right?" You chuckled, then shot him a little smile. "I'm (Y/n), by the way."

"...I'm Idia," he muttered quietly, his eyes never meeting yours.

Your lips quirked up in amusement at how awkward he seemed — even adorable. A playful sigh escaped your lips as you muttered, "Ortho talks a lot about you." The dorm leader seemed to immediately quirk up at your comment; he even opened his mouth to reply, but nothing came out. Embarrassed, he lowered his gaze again, bracing himself for another phase of awkward silence. Yet, the mood never turned sour. "Hey, you're playing the newest Templar's Creed? How did you get your hands on that?" You gasped in genuine excitement.

Idia's gaze snapped up when he found you staring at his monitor. "Uh... well...." Perhaps this was his chance to finally socialise with someone whose name wasn't Ortho or Pheus. He pursed his lips, and it took him all his courage to croak out, "You wanna play a little bit?" He cringed, fearing that you would laugh at him or reject him whatsoever.

However, you only shot him a smile. "I'd love to."