#i and every other Lore Nerd are desperately trying to figure out what can be braided together with any reasonable effect lmao

[lethalhoopla]

The new trailer has injected hype straight into my veins (rip everyone who is tired of Varric narrating trailers feat. Solas, but I'm a sucker for both) and the art is just gorgeous as always so I took screencaps - figured I'd share in case anyone else wanted them!

[the-silentium]

Rock Bottom

Masterlist - Chapter 1 - Chapter 2

Fors is an Original planet. I do not give permission to people to use it for their own fics, the planet, the animals, the Nightmares, the lore or anything related to Fors. Thank you.

Pairing: Bad Batch x Reader

Words: 4150 words

Warnings: Blood, gore, monsters, killing, ANGST, cruel world in action.

A/N: I just reached 500 followers?! This is crazy! I love you all people who somehow put up with my insanity  ♥️

Taglist:  @haloangel391​ / @lightning-wolffe​ / @cherrydemon5​ / @and-claudia​ / @clone-rambles​

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The vice grips around your upper arms burned as the talons cut through the fabric and tore through the skin. The humanoid creature hissed in pain when your bodies switched position and he got the worst of the branches. Soon, you found yourself falling on top of the Algax, out of breath and in pain. 

It quickly rolled over, throwing you to the ground right under itself. You heard yells and saw lights illuminating your surroundings, but more importantly, you saw the eyeless, noseless face mere centimeters from your face, the hideous lining that you thought was its mouth looked burned and sewn shut as if to prevent it from feeding on its prey. 

You would have been relieved of the fact if the pain in your arms hadn't moved to your whole torso. He was crushing you to death! 

Out of your daze, you trashed around, feet kicking what would be its chest, attempting to push it away. Screeches erupted from tiny slits at the side of its hectically rotating head, the Algax abruptly jerked away from the ground, your body still in its grip. It started moving away from the clones, unbothered by the blaster bolts hitting its back successively or by your movements. 

Orders were barked in your ear but they didn't register. All you could acknowledge was the building pressure around your bones, how it was becoming almost impossible to breathe even the tiniest of breath. You were positive that your ribs would start to break at any second now. 

The primal part of your brain then took over, reaching for your knife and plunging it forward in the dark blue arm holding you above ground. 

The effect was instantaneous. You were thrown like a rag doll to the side, right into a trunk. The thud of your head hitting the wood resonated through your skull, stilling you. Your whole body seemed to completely stop functioning for a whole second before remembering that this wasn't the time to chill out. 

A moan nearly escaped your mouth as the first satisfying breath of the last minute filled your lungs. How could you never realize that breathing felt so right? Breathing felt so good. So much better than being squished like a miserable insect. Oh no. Was this how they felt every time you'd step on them? This was so crue-

"Are you okay?" Confused, you blinked at Tech's question. 

"Me?" You pointed to yourself as if the question wasn't clear enough. 

Then the pain in your arms registered and-

"Holy mother fucker that hurts!" You whined, experimentally poking the bleeding skin to see if this really was the source of the pain. 

"Don't touch it!" Tech chastised, slapping your hand away, to which you glared in return. 

"I'll die of a blood disease." You pouted, watching as your wound touched the disgusting bloody mix you spread on your clothes earlier. 

"Highly possible." You felt the color leaving your face. Maybe you said it, but you didn't want it! 

"But we won't let that happen." You jumped at the gauze tightening around your wound unexpectedly, your opposed hand almost shooting out to hit him instinctively. 

"That was an Algax, correct?" Hunter approached behind Tech, keeping an eye on the surroundings while the engineer fixed your other arm. 

"Spot on. He ran away, right?" The dark blue monster was nowhere to be seen, not that it bothered you. 

"Right after you stabbed him." He handed you your knife that you apparently dropped at some point. "Look like those things are blaster proof or something." 

"Maybe it has something to do with the fact that there's no blaster in the lore." You gladly took the life-saving weapon back, securing its handle in your grip where it belonged. 

"Does your head hurt?" Tech inquired, getting up when he was satisfied with the makeshift bandages. 

"Nope. All good." It was pounding in there, but whatever. 

Getting back on your feet with Tech's help, you took a second to stabilize yourself before giving a heart attack to the nerd. 

"Don't do that!" He yelped, catching everyone's attention on your stretching self. 

"I'm just stretching..." 

"You just hurt your back! Don't flex your spine like that!" He successfully got you back straight with a slap to your abdomen. 

"We have to leave." Crosshair cut you off, pushing between the both of you to get ahead. 

"I agree with Cross. No more fuss." You speed-walked to catch up to the abrasive clone, desperately trying to keep the laugh in at the rhyme. 

"Thanks for that." You whispered to him, eyes already moving from shadow to shadow. 

"Don't thank me. If you stretch again I'll make your life more miserable than it already is." Oh how this only made you want to stretch to push his buttons. 

"Can't make it miserable if that means you'll be around." You grinned, unabashed by the meaning of your words. It was time for him to warm up to you a little more.

Every second of silence made you cheer inside. Rending the snarky sniper speechless was an exploit after all. 

"I can figure something out." He countered weakly after a while. 

Chuckling, you rotated the handle of your knife between your skilled fingers, alternating it from pointing forward and backward to pass your sudden regain of energy. Why did he have such an effect on you? It still was a mystery that you'd have to elucidate later. 

"I hear a voice." Hunter informed the group. 

"Is it calling you?" This was never a good sign, the Venuste were really effective critters in their task of enchanting everyone around. Keeping him with you and away from them would necessitate Wrecker's muscles. 

"No, it's a kid's voice. Whining about flee- fleeing? Something like that. It's not clear." 

"A kid?" You stopped dead, deeply confused. Had the council gone mad?! What could possibly justify sending kids out to their death? Or did they get caught outside like you did? "Where?" 

"Sure it's not a trap?" He pointed over your shoulder to your right. 

"One way to be sure." It genuinely hurt to stay in position and not speed walk through the trees to verify if the council had gone from a bunch of imbeciles to a cohort of assholes running the whole village to their doom. 

You had to remind yourself that when you agreed to join the commandos, you'd made a promise to fight for them as well as with them and that you'd be a reliable asset at any time in any given situation. You weren't alone anymore. 

It didn't change the fact that it was hard. 

"It's personal?" Crosshair clearly saw the shift in your mood, from the tightness in your muscles that wasn't there before to the sudden lack of motion of your armed hand. 

"I just want to know if I'll break my hand again or not." 

"Break your hand?" 

The question passed over your head when you heard the young boy's voice. He wasn't from the village, you knew every kid there mainly because you liked to help them build traps for strangers to fall in and they liked your prank ideas. You didn't know how to tell Tech that you were the one to propose the phosphorescent bird poo mixed with loth wolf puke idea. Maybe it was better to take it to your grave.  

You halted at the edge of the clearing illuminated by the moon and its stars, eyes glued to the young boy walking in circle a couple of meters away, his bare feet bleeding profusely from the incessant walking he endured for who knew how long. Your heart squeezed at his fate. No one deserved this kind of torture, let alone an innocent child. 

Your eyes adjusted to the new light, a new serene pallet of color taking over the gradually fading shades of blue and black. 

The boy's clothes were torn up and dirty to a point where you couldn't say for sure what color it was initially or if there was a design on it like most children liked to wear nowadays. 

"What's wrong with him?" Wrecker's worry hit you in the gut. You shouldn't have to tell him this because this shouldn't exist. 

"He's a Wanderer, now. A Lumsin got his soul." You slumped, defeated. 

"His soul?" He tilted his head and although you couldn't see it, you were sure there was a frown hidden under the customized helmet. 

"Yes. Everyone has a soul and Lumsins feed on them. When they eat a soul, the body becomes lost and wander around, walking and walking until it dies." 

"His soul got eaten." He reiterated in a whisper, the hand lifting to his head not lost on you.

"Y-" Your heartbeat shot through the roof when your eyes found a crest necklace around the kid's neck. 

You knew that crest all too well. And those beautiful red hairs, they should have made you realize sooner. Way sooner. 

"I know him." It unconsciously escaped your lips before you leaped forward, not able to repress your urges anymore. 

Crosshair was hot on your tail, the others staying in the shadows to keep an eye out. 

You jumped before the boy, hands rising to his cold cheeks, wishing that the gesture would pull him out of his spell. He merely rammed into you with his small 6 years old emaciated body, barely making you budge. 

He continuously mumbled the same sentence, the last thought his body heard from his soul before the contact was lost. 

"I want Fleena."

"Nixon, buddy." You grazed the freckles on his cheeks with your thumbs. He was so familiar. 

You'd never met him when he was still a lively boy, their village wasn't one to be in close contact with the others, but you've seen extremely detailed drawings of him. Plus, he looked so much like his sister. 

"We have to go." Crosshair pressed, anxious to be so out in the open. You knew you were being delusional and were basically putting him in danger for someone who couldn't be saved, but you had something to do. 

"I'll be quick." You assured the sniper before taking the robin carved necklace off Nixon's small neck to store it in your pants pocket. 

"Your sis' loves you very much, Nixon." You tenderly kissed his forehead like any child should be kissed, with utter softness and care. "And she wants you to be free." 

You could easily remember the nights out between the local cantina and the general store, where Fleena would show you drawings of the beasts that attacked her village when their gates got breached. You were terrified. Her whole village was wiped out in a single night, leaving her behind with a mind plagued with nightmares and grief. 

She talked often about Nixon who had turned 6 the week before it happened. She would relive her best moments with him, where laughs and smiles were a common occurrence. Then she'd close on herself, praying to the merciless gods above to at least let her brother be in peace. 

It broke your heart to know that it wasn't the case. That he was still trapped, may his soul be somewhere else, hopefully, in a better world, his body was still living in a wicked world. 

"You deserve to rest Nixon." You ruffled his hair like Fleena used to do. 

With a quick movement of your hands, you freed him from his torment in this cruel world. 

The world numbed for a moment, mind blocking the events for your own sanity, but it wasn't enough. It didn't stop all the injustice of this world. A vast beautiful world that you couldn't explore because of monsters waiting for the right moment to bounce. You were forced to live in a cage when the world was so vast. Kids were forced to grow up too fast or couldn't grow up at all. This world was sick. 

It took 2 hours for your stomach to empty itself on the ground for the first time of the night. In all honesty, it was longer than you initially expected. 

Oh. You didn't expect either to find yourself back into the woods, without any memory of making the way back. Hands alternate from patting your back to stroking up and down between your scapulas. 

Someone's tears fell onto the bile, or maybe it was raining. Yes, it was raining. You felt the water stream down your cheeks like rivers, the two trails joining at your chin to fall on the ground. 

"You freed him." Crosshair crouched to your level so you'd not tune him out like you did the others. "You helped him." 

"I helped him." You repeated. It was true. 

"You did." A finger moved across your cheek to remove the remaining rain from your face. No. They were tears. Your tears of pain. 

"I hate to force this on you, but we have to get back to the rav-" 

A scream of distress pierced the night, cutting off the sergeant in the worst way possible. Everyone froze, listening to the yells asking for help that only you understood. Another hunter. He wasn't that far away. 

"He's asking for help." You mumbled slowly coming out of your daze. 

Your eyes moved away from the bile splattered before your knees to meet the black and white helmet of your sergeant. You were in no position to decide, the fog in your mind only beginning to dissipate gradually. 

"We can't help." The requests for assistance had already morphed into screams of pain and agony that they didn't need to be translated to understand. 

"We hurry back and get off this rock." He cut short, the yells fading quickly in intensity. 

Hands under your armpits helped you up. Shaky legs stilled after a couple of seconds and a few deep breaths. Slowly as if you'd double over at any second, Wrecker's huge hands let go of their grip on you. With a muttered thanks you harshly wiped your face with your hands to get yourself together. 

You needed to bottle up every event happening tonight for later. You'd have time to scream, thrash around and cry when you'd be safe within the Havoc Marauder. 

"Ready." You affirmed after swallowing the lump in your throat. 

The night was silent again, meaning that the beast could either be feasting or roaming around again. The group will have to be extra careful to return to the ravine and stay under the radar. Many species could have caused this kind of screams and they weren't to be messed with. 

Hunter took the front while you took his place in the middle, just behind him. Crosshair grazed your right arm, Tech your left and Wrecker got your back. 

You purposefully ignored the worried glances coming from Tech, it surely must have been a shock to see you do what you did in the clearing. It was so out of nowhere for them. But it wasn't for you. A big part of your brain simply wished they would not abandon you on the planet once you all make it back to the ship. 

This time, you were the first one to notice the change in the atmosphere. What was interpreted by Hunter as the wind humming through the trees was in fact a very angry Kribat protecting its territory. 

"Hide!" You whispered harshly in the comlink you hurriedly pulled out of your pocket. There was no way they'd see your hand sign at your current position. 

It was so sudden that they stopped for a millisecond, unsure of where to hide. You pushed through them to lead the way to a deeper line of trees on your left, feet moving faster to get more distance between the Kribat and your group. 

Your feet slipped under yourself when you ducked behind a particularly large tree. Despite your best efforts to stay upright, gravity pulled you down to your fall, as it clearly enjoyed to do, both physically and mentally. 

The ground wasn't as hard as you remembered, a bit soft if you were to define it, and warmer. 

It wasn't until Wrecker pulled you upright once again that you realized that your fall had been broken by a shredded body. Dread washed over you as you saw the two other hunters who'd suffered the same fate, laying close by in a pool of their blood, missing some limbs. 

You knew them. They never had a place in your heart, but you knew them nonetheless and would never have wished them to suffer like they did. You knew two of them had families waiting at home. Well. Maybe they weren't waiting, merely hoping that they would come back by some miracle. 

Two feet away from a Kribat's preys was the worst place to be right now, but you couldn't move to another spot. Not with the howling Kribat right behind yours and Wrecker's hiding spot. 

It was awfully close. Too close to your liking and way too angry to hope to survive its attacks if it were to find you. 

Wrecker had you pressed to his chest by a hand right over your breast, detail that flashed into your mind although it was totally irrelevant. He was just stressed like you were. His hands simply reached for you in his haste and happened to find the friends-are-not-supposed-to-touch spot so you dropped it. At least he wasn't groping. 

The ragged breathing of the feral beast passed as it reacted to a movement nearby, giving chase to the unfortunate creature. For a painful second, you thought that it might be one of your teammates, Tech and Hunter were out of view while Crosshair was peeking back to get a glimpse of the retreating beast. 

Just as you tried to push away to see if the missing clones were around, Wrecker's hand pushed you more into himself, crushing your boobs like they were never crushed before. 

"Everyone's okay." He informed you to keep you still, not releasing his grip. You hummed in acknowledgment. 

"Wrecker." He hummed back, waiting for you to continue. "Hands off my boobs." 

You've never seen a hand fly away as quickly as Wrecker's did. Yours didn't even move that fast when you accidentally put your hand on a lump of red coal and you remember having a good reflex then. 

"Hands off what?" A harsh whisper in your right ear caused the demolition expert to sputter. 

Apparently, the comlink in his helmet caught your voice. 

"I didn't know Sarge!" He explained without any more delay. "Sorry Y/N." 

He kept his free hand far from your body now that the danger has passed. It would have been hilarious if only you weren't at the lowest emotionally. 

" 's fine Wrecker." You shrugged, unbothered by all of it and way too exhausted emotionally to care. It was an accident in the midst of action, nothing more, no need to create a whole drama because of it. 

A piece of wood in the bloody mess caught your gaze. Your heart skipped a beat at the recognizable darker tint of the object, tonight was getting slightly better. 

Crouching, you reached for the thick wood stick, fingers moving along the carvings etched into its length. Both in relief and satisfaction, you found the energy in yourself to smile. 

"Found something?" Tech approached from your side, the remaining missing soldier in tow. 

"Yeah. Most useful stealth weapon on this planet." You showed him the bloody bow, your other hand sliding your knife into its rightful place in your boot. 

Rolling the body to the side respectfully, you checked for the quiver that you found still strapped to his back. Slowly, you pulled it over his head to pass it over yours.

"This is a fine piece of work." Despite his words, you could hear that he clearly would never use it to defend himself if he had the choice.

Taking back the weapon, you cleaned the grip and loaded an arrow, muscle memory doing a splendid job into positioning yourself perfectly in a flawless shooting stance. A sigh of relief almost escaped your lips at the feeling of finally being adequately armed. 

"Think it will hurt them more than our blasters?" Crosshair gave you some extra arrows he found laying around, still unconvinced that wood sticks with metal points could surpass their own advanced technology. 

"We'll know it now." 

You frowned, quickly grabbing an arrow to arm the bow, pulled on the string while aiming over the engineer's shoulder and suddenly released the tension on the string, scaring the shit out of Tech but hitting your target perfectly. 

The Algax screeched as the arrow hit it right where its left eye would be, retracting its dangerous talons reaching for the goggled clone to grab at its face. 

The troopers jumped at the unexpected screech, although they recovered in record time, turning around, blasters at the ready. They only had time to shoot at its already retreating form. 

"Don't lose that." Hunter turned around, pointing at the bow in your hands. "Now let's go." He urged everyone forward. 

Quickly, you grabbed the arrows in Crosshair's hand and stored them with the others. 

As you took your position back at the front, a hand softly grazed the small of your back, by possessiveness or just to ensure that you were alright, you weren't entirely sure. But Hunter's gesture was very much welcome. 

The bow was a game-changer. The weapon may not be able to kill them, but it could very easily gain you some time when needed. 

Now, if luck could still stick by your sides, the next useful thing you'd find was a shelter. 

In the following hour, you managed to scare away the next 3 Algax you encountered with a single arrow neatly shot between the hollows where their eyes should be and avoided another Kribat. 

Apparently, these two species were the main population of these parts of the jungle, it was a two-edged knife. The boys got used to hiding around the environment and knew how to react properly at an Algax jumping on them out of nowhere, but you knew those weren't the only danger around. Would they react adequately when a new monster presented itself?

Tech changed his opinion on your weapon, affirming that he'll have to build one himself, more technological of course, improved like he said. You kicked his shin at the 'less-primitive' insinuation behind his words.  

"It's a great weapon that deserves respect Tech." You reprimanded, arrow pointing to the ground and ready to engage if needed. 

"It does need improvements!" He countered on the defensive and he proceeded to explain what he would do to add more strength to the bow, allowing it to shoot further and at a greater impact. 

Just as Hunter shushed the engineer, you heard your name being whispered in the distance. Fear tensed your muscles in apprehension, expecting claws to tear at your skin any second now. Time went on without any foes jumping out of the shadows, prompting you to continue your route with the others, passing it for the wind or a trick of your mind.

That is until everything went downhill. 

"Do you guys hear that?" Wrecker suddenly asked, immediately catching everyone's attention. 

Silence followed, seconds after seconds passed in utter silence until, "That! Heard that?" 

"No." Hunter stopped the group to ensure that they weren't missing something important. 

"Wrecker, what is it? What do you hear?" A cold sweat ran down your spine, already knowing what he was going to say but praying otherwise. This couldn't be happening. 

"It's 99." Even without knowing who was 99, you knew that it would end badly, there was too much raw worry in his voice to calm him down in so little time. "He's in danger Sarge!" 

"No! Don't listen to it!" You jumped out to grab his armor, his hand, his blaster, anything really, not that your small muscles would have been able to stop the bear of a man anyway but your body thought it could. 

He was unexpectedly fast for someone his size, easily dodging your hand to push through his brothers like they were nothing. He ran like a desperate man chasing a dream and it hit you like a punch to the face. This was exactly it. His most desperate dream finally came true to haunt him. 

As you expected, the boys were on his tail in a heartbeat. 

But as you ran after them, you realized that for a team comm that should be flooding in orders for Wrecker to stop and pleas for him to understand that this was a trick, it was dreadfully quiet. 

Your blood froze in your veins as soon as realization dawned on you like a an ice cold bath. 

They all believed it.

[whatisthisnonsense]

Continuing where we left off here, so we’re not cluttering Sarah’s pretty art (bless u @yunisverse ), did you know canonically Digimon are emotion eaters? “But Lea!��, you say. “That was in SAVERS, not Adventure!” Wasn’t it though? 

Think about it-- while they’re not necessarily feeding off it in the sense of sustenance, the digimon in Adventure all digivolve during a big influx of some form of emotion by their chosen child, usually related to the crest but not always (pants-shitting terror at Kuwagamon, for example). Normal, natural digivolution is usually a very long process of gathering energy and strength, with higher levels often taking decades if not hundreds or thousands of years (unless you suck, in which case you’re turning into a Numemon. Yes, that’s also canon.), so obviously the digimon MUST be feeding on something for those short bursts of energy, and since having the digimon feast upon their attached digidestined’s soul or lifespan is what we call bad, the natural source must be emotion. Following that thread, we see other digidestined in 02 (which I’m not going to go into for most of the lore it introduced because it is One Whole Yike, but Adventure itself introduced the concept that all you had to do to be a valid partner candidate is see a digimon and therefore this is valid) who ostensibly have the same bond as our actual Destiny’s Children without the Destiny bit, and we actively see Willis/Wallace/That Kid With The Two Bunny Digimon have his digimon digivolve. While Lopmon/Kokomon was out of his control for the most part and could arguably have been severed from the connection, Terriermon clearly wasn’t and also usually responded to emotion. As such, we can assume that this is a trait of all partner digivolutions. Why, then, are the Crests needed? Well, we find out they’re a bit of a magic feather, however they all still involve an emotion or state of being which the child exemplifies (besides Light, though that could be as in “the light in your heart that never goes out” IE Determination and Light just happened to sound more mystic and was also literally its attribute anyway, like how Honesty/Responsibility is Water and Sincerity/Purity is Plants) (Knowledge also isn’t a state of being or emotion, but the way they use the word I’m reasonably certain what they actually mean is WISDOM, which means Izzy in a state of being wise is what triggers it, not just him being a nerd). I would like to suggest, thusly, that the Crests show the emotion or mental state the digidestined represented by it has in abundance and thus what their digimon use to rocket up the digivolution ladder in ways faster and stronger than even normal human/digimon partnerships. The Crest associated with our hypothetical ninth duo? Kindness. Now, stay with me here. Allow my work-weary, sleep-deprived ass to switch from essay to narrative for a moment. Consider, if you will; Wizardmon has always been alone. Since he’s a chosen partner, Gennai dropped him when he was hit much like Gatomon, but velocity and angle meant he still hatched far away from her. He turned to magic for answers as to why he was left all alone when most are born and cared for in Primary Village, and he got good of it-- amazingly good, astoundingly good, impossibly wonderously G O O D  at magic-- but he never found his answers. Eventually, he gives up, assuming he was simply not worth the effort. That perhaps, his presence was a mistake. He wanders, looking for obscure magic but no longer having any purpose to it, aching for something he doesn’t understand nor believes exist. He says he passed through unremarked, but in many places you’ll hear tell of a quiet, soft-spoken digimon who repaired something with the snap of his fingers. Sometimes a wall, sometimes reviving a well, sometimes even bringing another digimon back from a hideous illness. But he was always gone the next day. If anyone could ask him, he’d shrug it off; it wasn’t something special, he thought. It just seemed cruel to leave things as they were, and while he’s many unpleasant things, he’d like to think he’s not cruel. (He is kind, he is so kind, but he can’t fathom it without anyone else around him, and no one nor place can hold him against that unknown longing in his programming, so it passes by him without note.) Of course, between his idle wandering and his constantly giving and giving and giving of his magical energy without much time to recover, he eventually pushes himself past exhaustion and falls out of the sky on one otherwise unremarkable day.  Those of you who’ve watched Adventure, of course, should recognize this as the event that caused him to meet Gatomon, and remember how absolutely baffled he was by her kindness-- he was already spreading himself thin, but he never had it returned to him mostly because he never stayed anywhere long enough for it-- and how fast he was to pledge undying loyalty for said shred of kindness. And this is true still, for he is still almost desperately loyal to her, but there is something else. Even when she truly forgets everything for the monster (ha) Myotismon turned her into, he can still see that longing for something she doesn’t know or understand in her eyes, and something in his chest tightens a little. It’s kinship, but he doesn’t recognize it-- he doesn’t have time, given how fast he parses the legends and figures out what she must be, as when he does that he out of hand assumes he could never be associated. Even so, they lessen eachother’s loneliness, and for a while that’s enough. Wizardmon does his best to play dumb, glide beneath the safety of contempt, and manages some tiny victories against the Dark Army’s, as after all he is never on Myotismon’s side. Some in-training digimon slipping out of the dungeon here, some misinformation there. In the end, however, he is mostly trying to give Gatomon the shot at a better life he is so certain she deserves, so every so often he has to get his hands dirty. It’s okay, though, really. It doesn’t matter what becomes of him, as long as she gets out. (Even so, when he’s forced to play evil minion to the hilt he tries his best to simply confuse or trick his target so he can leave them alive and unharmed, and if he can’t he does his damndest to make it quick. To do otherwise seems cruel, and he would still like to think he isn’t that at least.) As we all know, eventually seven dumbass kids with seven dumbass digimon who happen to also be the Digidestined turn up and Myotismon sets his plan in motion. Most of his minions just terrorize the town, but as ever Wizardmon is sneaky. He keeps his head down, and blends in, drawing children in and keeping an eye on Gatomon to see where and who she is most drawn to. He is being rather underhanded, he thinks, even though getting this gaggle of human children to watch in wonder and laugh isn’t actually necessary for his guise. He refuses to do otherwise, though. It doesn’t seem right. Naturally, Gatomon narrows what child is hers down without even realizing, but his own “patrol” draws in her and there is an almost uncomfortable snap in him as for a moment that ache, that eternal lonliness, is gone and-- no no, she just caught him flatfooted. He’s distracted and wasn’t expecting a compliment, particularly not one from someone clearly much older than the younglings he’s entertaining manipulating. The Tokyo arc is the same, but extended-- more red herrings and more time to convince Gatomon to remember that she is better than Myotismon’s lapcat, as well as scenes with Wizardmon and Minnie showing them drawing closer, albeit with Wizardmon’s denial or deflection on the subject pretty much even through his almost-death. Ah, yes. You didn’t think we kept most of that scene, did you? Of course Wizardmon gives his life for Gatomon-- by this point, it’s all he has left to give. It’s all he’s ever had to give, really. But remember how his body is still present in the show after his suppossed death? Well, that’s because he’s not quite dead yet; merely passed out. Minnie pulls him away and gets him to a relatively safe part of the building before he comes to again. He is defintely in the PROCESS of dying, though, but they refuse to let the kids know. It would be kinder for the kids not to see, at least for the moment, and thus the duo both lie through their teeth. And yet, when the kids leave to talk about what lies ahead next, Minnie turns and does her best to stop the digital hole in his chest from bleeding. He’s going to be fine, she tells him. It’s another lie, he thinks, but ah. “You’re...too kind...” There’s a faint glow from her pocket and for a moment his world is white and then he’s much more alive and terribly small. I’m gonna glaze over the rest of the Tokyo arc because we really need to get to the point in this fucking novel but I really need you to imagine a distressed Mokumon trying to wriggle out of Minnie’s arms as she tries to get him to fucking REST and then later him as a Candlemon accidentally setting the blankets he was tucked into on fire. Got that in your head? Good! Now let’s just--

There we go, see you in 02 asshole, moving on to the Dark Masters Ahem, anyway, as the group journeys through the reconfigured Digital World to forcibly scrub the influence of the Dark Masters away, Wizardmon slowly becomes a bit less aloof and a bit more on the awkward side. He’s gotten what he wanted-- Gatomon’s happy-- and he has a purpose, but that purpose doesn’t seem like something he should have, nor this group somewhere he should be. Nevermind he doesn’t really know how to handle a group out of his aloofness or various deceptions. And yet, ever so slowly, he begins to warm, and soften. Until that day in the desert. Minnie catches a lone and frightened younger digimon in the corner of her eye and diverts immediately to help it. The children and their partners are on board, of course, but before anyone can move, a Scorpiomon pops up and starts heading right for the young lady. The children shout, but Wizardmon can’t make out the words-- he’s already moving as fast as he can, even as he watches Minnie quickly turn to the younger digimon she found and hide them under a crevice, smiling before she moves away where it can’t see whatever happens. Even as she turns, pale and trying not to look frightened and moving AWAY from the kids a little so as to keep the arachnoid’s attention. Even as one of its legs connects with her cheek and knocks her away. That gentleness she was showing and his outrage and need to protect merges and twists and surges in a fountain of warmth in his chest, and he skids to a stop in front of her. Digivolving feels more like a soft blanket of darkness than anything resembling a change-- he barely even notices his limbs stretching or his clothing shift until it’s over and he’s...he’s... Myotismon. Minnie has the Crest of Kindness and he has turned into what is, objectively, the cruelest digimon to ever exist. Being Adventure the priority is Jokes, thus the immediate asking to tag out, but after this he is even more aloof than he was before, and not looking anyone in the eye. He is crushed, and once again come to the answer he always has for why he is why he is-- if he was ever meant to be here, then something must be wrong with him, and more likely he was never meant to be here at all. How interesting, do you think, it would be that it is not the Digidestined who has the huge, dramatic issue to confront, but the digimon? TL;DR, Don’t Blame You, essentially the jumping point for this whole narrative is, in a subversion to the usual “kid has to accept thing about self to slowly begin to heal from trauma and unlock potential”, essentially WIZARDMON is the one who has to learn here; the two-fold moral that he is allowed to ACCEPT Kindness and not just constantly give, and that the fact he is dark and spooky-- the fact his ultimate is the same as the mon who hurt him and the others-- does not make him less good or kind. And it only took about five novels to get here, amazing. If only I had this much energy for my actual writing.

[writehardwhumpharder]

Carson Drabble - since it's not whumpy enough I've decided to give Carson CRippLing ViSioNs

Carson walked into the bookshop ten minutes late, a little out of breath. He weaved through the shelves, passing a few customers on his way toward the back office. Muffled voices drifted out through the closed door, they sounded... tense. When he opened the door they were gathered around the old oak table.

"This is a police matter." Riley snapped, sounding as if she had said it several times already, leaning over the table toward Daniel.

"And this is my bookstore." Danny said with that casual stubbornness that drove people crazy. He had his arms crossed and feet propped up on the table as a display of how little he cared about their "procedure".

"Finally. It was getting awkward." Riley breathed as she looked up at him, dropping whatever arguement they'd just been having.

"No kidding." Daniel muttered.

Carson took a seat between them and reached for the stack of books Danny had set aside. They were researching what looked like ritual remains at a crime scene. Candles, blood, trace metals, the whole shabang. He hadn't done much ritual magic himself but he at least knew how it worked and what to look for. He looked up to see Danny staring at him.

"What was it this time?" He asked.

"Nothing, just didn't sleep well." Carson deflected.

Daniel just barely caught himself before he said that he knows what it sounds like when he "doesn't sleep well" and nothing happened last night. Which brings them to this morning. "Come on, I want to know, what was it? Stop me when I'm close, cat, bird, squirrel, raccoon-"

Carson groaned in frustration. "It was a baby possum okay? Ugh you suck, Danny." He said with an anger in his voice that wasn't quite genuine. His friend smiled smugly.

Riley had taken it upon herself to start skimming through one of the books in the pile. She noticed that Carson did look especially tired when he came in. Small beads of sweat formed on his brow which, unless he ran all the way to the bookstore, didn't make much sense in the growing cold outside. She figured it was best not to join in on Daniel's teasing and got straight to work.

Within seconds of opening the old leather-bound book, Carson got completely immersed in the text. It wasn't exactly an exciting read but he flipped through the pages quickly, only pausing to study certain diagrams. Riley noticed his lips moved slightly as he read over important parts. He probably didn't even realize he had the habit of mouthing the words as he read. It was kinda cute. But to be fair, his rapid page flipping and note taking was impressively methodical. She looked across the table to see that Daniel had been staring at Carson at the same time she was. They made awkward eye contact before returning to their research. Along with the books Daniel had a black notebook filled with handwritten notes that more or less matched the style of the old books they were looking at.

"Wow are those all your notes, Danny?" She asked, eyeing the notebook that was bulging with loose papers and crudely drawn symbols.

"Yeah, I write down everything that might be useful when I get new books in about magic. Some of it is just lore, but every once in a while I find a book that's actually legit. Oh, and it's Daniel." He said, despite the fact that Carson had called him Danny less than two minutes ago.

"So where are the books that you know are real?" She asked.

"Besides these? I imagine they're all on Carson's bookshelf at home."

"I already looked through those." Carson added, apparently more in tune with their conversation than they thought.

Daniel flipped through his notes until he came across a set of loose papers that looked related to the crime scene photo Riley provided. He grabbed the small stack and slid it over to Carson.

"I think I found something." Daniel said with a hopeful smile. Carson looked down at it and frowned.

"Um, Danny, this is your character description for Dungeons and Dragons." Carson said.

"Oops. Under that." He said. Maybe it was just Riley's imagination but it looked like Daniel blushed a little. As if it wasn't already obvious that he and Carson where total nerds. Not in a bad way but they did spend an awful lot of time holed up in this bookstore reading fantastic novels for "scientific purposes". Carson's eyes widened and his lips started doing that thing again like he was deep in concentration.

"Yeah, yeah this makes sense." Carson said after a moment. "Powering a circle is easy. It's directing the spell that's the hard part. So you found the body by the river, but the spell was set up in her apartment? They must have needed something there to make it work."

"Yeah." So far she had only shown him the photos from the apartment. The photos of the body were a lot more gruesome. "There's... more you need to know." She added.

Carson looked up, his brows furrowed. "I can't help if you're holding out on me. What else is there?"

Riley grimaced as she pulled another folder from her bag. "The photo of the girl in the center of the circle, see how her eyes are crossed out? And the dagger is standing straight up from the floorboards?"

"Yeah... you said she was dead. Obviously they meant to kill her using that knife." Carson said, a little confused. It seemed simple. They did the ritual, made a connection between the circle and the girl, and it's all stabby stabby from there.

Riley took out another set of crime scene photos from her folder and Carson immediately realized why she'd been hesitant to show it to them. His stomach flipped at the sight and he felt himself pale slightly. He's not squeamish but there is something distinctly wrong about seeing a person's face when they're missing their eyes. Without them it's just empty sockets. Empty...

When he looked at the photo his gaze naturally settled on the most gruesome part of it, the eyes. There was nothing there but he felt like she was... looking at him. A shiver went up his spine. He couldn't look away, not even to blink. Carson was dimly aware of someone saying his name but it was like the world narrowed until it was just him and the dead girl. It felt eerily like she was looking straight into his mind, or maybe he was looking into hers. It made his skin crawl. Suddenly the picture vanished and the room faded away.

He blinked and suddenly he was somewhere else. A walking path by the river. It was well lit but he couldn't imagine a young woman wanting to walk on it alone late at night. He felt troubled, no, she felt troubled. She looked over her shoulder every few seconds, clutching a small green purse to her chest as she walked briskly. Things started to blur and tilt as the connection got cloudier. He could feel his consciousness desperately trying to return to his body, but something kept him there. At the last second she turned, startled by something. But there was nothing there. She started running in a panic, stumbling off the path and onto the rocks, not because she was afraid, but because she couldn't see where she was going, he realized. She couldn't see because her eyes were being burned out of her head. A warmth grew from the center of her face, it burned right behind her eyes like a headache at first, the pain becoming more unbearable with each passing second. When the knife slid into her stomach it was almost merciful. She died before she could realize what was happening to her.

It happened fast. One second Carson was staring hard at the photo, perhaps looking for some small detail in it. The next his eyes were rolling back in his head. Eyelids fluttering shut as his body pitched forward. His head made contact with the table before he slid sideways out of his chair, knocking it over in the process. It all happened before Riley or Daniel could react. Luckily it was a gentle slide and he didn't hit his head too hard but now he was on the floor and--

"What the fuck?" Daniel blurted, abandoning his own chair to kneel next to Carson.

"Has he ever done anything like this before?" Riley asked with the dim hope that maybe this was some sort of totally normal magic thing she didn't know about. It wasn't

"No, never." Daniel's voice was grim. Panic welled up inside him but he fought it back down. He wouldn't be any use to Carson like that. "Hey Carson, can you hear me?" He asked pointlessly.

It was obvious his mind was somewhere else entirely as his body began to twitch. Random muscles flexing and unflexing. He started making small moaning noises that didn't sound like he was in pain but broke Daniel's heart a little to hear anyway. Without thinking he folded his sweatshirt and slid it under his head, moving to sit behind him so he could run his fingers through Carson's hair gently as his legs kicked and his hands moved spastically. Daniel and Riley had both gone silent so the only noise in the room was Carson's shuffling and ragged breathing. A small trickle of blood dripped from his nose and suddenly it was over. Carson's body relaxed into the floor and his breathing settled until it looked like he was just peacefully asleep.

Riley sat by his feet in complete shock, holding her hands up to her face, covering her mouth. Meanwhile Daniel started to try to wake him up gently. The whole thing couldn't have lasted longer than a minute but for Daniel it felt like forever.

"What just happened?" She whispered.

Daniel let one hand continue sifting through his hair and used the other to pat at his face which was pale and clammy under his hand. "Come on Carson, wake up. Open your eyes." He said.

Carson didn't immediately respond but he did make some feeble attempt to roll over onto his side. Daniel helped position him. The blood continued streaming from his nose until it threatened to stain the floor and Carson's shirt. There weren't any tissues around so he wiped Carson's face with his own sleeve. They took it as a good sign when he groaned and swatted the hand away weakly.

"Can you here me, Carson? It's Danny, I'm right here." He spoke softly, expecting Carson to be more than a little confused as he came to. When he finally cracked his eyes open the first thing he saw was books, then more books, and some shelves filled with books. It didn't take him long to figure out where he was.

Once Carson was awake Daniel stopped touching him and gave him some space, only helping when he wanted to sit up. Carson's head throbbed with the motion and he touched two fingers to his nose, frowning when they came away bloody.

"I'll go find some water." Riley said, trying to make herself useful. Carson caught her sleeve as she moved to stand.

"Wait... I... saw something." He said. "It doesn't tell us much more than we already know but, I did see that she died on the rocks, someone didn't move her there. And the spell was powerful I felt-" he stopped and shook his head as he remembered the pain and fear she felt. He raked his hands over his face and shuddered, as if checking that his own eyes were still there. He didn't dare look at the photos again to check, but one detail did stand out to him.

"What was in her purse?" He asked. The woman had been holding onto it pretty tight, maybe just out of fear, or maybe there was something important in there.

"We didn't find a purse with her body." Riley frowned, wondering why she hadn't thought of it before. Of course the young woman would have had some kind of bag with her. It wasn't much but it was something to look into.

"It was green." Carson muttered, staring off into what looked to be the Historical Asian literature section.

"Thanks Carson. I'll look into it. Let me know if you guys find anything out but there's no rush." She stood up and found that glass of water she was looking for then gathered her things and left Carson in Daniel's care.

Leaning against one of the tables legs, Carson signed, trying to make sense of what the hell was going on. He hoped this was a one time thing. A minor fluke on the universe's part. Magic was like that sometimes. But he couldn't help but feel obligated to solve this case now. He was already too involved to back out and even though Riley said there wasn't a rush, he knew that wasn't true. Two people already died in strange circumstances and if no other actually qualified magic users would step up to help, it was up to him.

"You okay?" Danny asked. Carson nodded slightly, careful not to aggravate his budding headache. "Let's get your face cleaned up then."

His nose had stopped bleeding but his face was still a mess of a combination of fresh, dried, and smeared blood. Carson didn't feel much like standing up but he took a few sips of water then braced a hand against the floor to push himself onto his knees. The floor wobbled under his feet but Danny was already helping him the rest of the way up.

He staggered to the staff bathroom at the back of the store and took a good look at himself. There were new dark circles under his eyes. He didn't know whether it was from using his healing skills that morning or the uh.. the other thing. The word "attack" came to mind, since that's exactly what it felt like.

"You should go home and rest." His friend said from the doorway. "I can leave the store for a bit and walk you home." He offered.

"No," Carson said, "we'll stay until we figure this out. Grab the books, we're taking this party to the couch." He said with newfound determination. The book store had a reading nook with a giant second hand couch, some beanbags, pillows, and a few decorative soft lit lamps. If he was going to lay down, which he definitely was, he might as well stay productive. Carson settled down in the corner, laying sideways to take up two out of the three cushions. Daniel returned with the large stack of books and set them down with a thud before settling into the other end of the couch. The spent the afternoon reading and taking notes in comfortable silence. Daniel didn't wake him up when Carson inevitably fell asleep with not one, but several books in his lap.

[velancea]

Velancea: Origins

OKAY so I have a quick, roughly written ‘lore’ thing for Vel! There’s so much more to her, but as of now, I’ll post what I have, along with some tidbits and a bit of Canach x Vel stuff!

under the cut again because, y’know, size

Velancea was born in time to the sylvari personal story in the game. She met Caithe and fought the shadow of the dragon. Her dream remains the same, but varies with the glimpse of a bright-eyed sylvari. She felt a sense of warmth and… home. As she traversed through the dream with Caithe, she felt as though she were being watched by the same eyes she had seen earlier in her dream.

When she emerged from the dream, she found that her pod was actually connected to another. It remained closed, and Serimon had informed her that pods may open at different times of the day. She felt weary leaving the pod behind, but went to find Caithe and explore the Grove, refusing to actually leave the Grove until the pod opened.

A long time went by, and other menders were worried that the sapling within the pod would never emerge - either they would forever be stuck within the dream, or they were dead. Vel, however, never gave up, and continuously visited the unhatched pod. Finally, after a week or so (she’d lost count), the pod opened, and she was met with the face she had seen in her dream. He looked up at her with bright, golden eyes.

The sapling’s name was Remulys, and Vel took him in as her younger brother, and he immediately treasured her as his big sister.

They shared the same dream of the Green Knight, and set off to fight it together.

Velancea continued to bring Remulys along on all of her endeavors, but around the time she joined the Vigil, Remulys began to stick around the Grove more. However, he was content. He told her he was happy staying behind, not wanting to be in her way at all. Vel didn’t quite like that, but things became more busy and she visited the Grove less, and wrote more letters. Unfortunately, even those began to faze out. Still, Remulys remained content, only wanting his beloved sister to succeed. (read Remi’s life here)

Velancea traveled with Trahearne, and to her, he was her mentor. He taught her many things about Orr and the world, and she would listen with rapt attention, always enthralled in his stories. Often times, he took her to that little place in the Grove (before things got too chaotic and they no longer had time to go to the Grove) and nerded out on his lore he learned about Orr and Tyria, and she would just sit there and listen, all bright eyed and eager to learn.

And then the events of Heart of Thorns happened.

While in the jungle, Velancea and Canach entered into a sort of “friends with benefits” situation, always instigated with the words “make me forget.” Velancea had first spoken this to him whilst they were both kept up at night in camp, unable to quiet Mordremoth’s voice as they drew closer. At night, they spent time in each other’s arms, desperate for a moment away from the dragon’s voice, but during the day, it was as though nothing had changed since day one of entering into Maguuma.

After everything ended and Canach and Vel went their separate ways, Velancea turned to alcohol, desperate to numb the pain of Trahearne’s death. Eventually, she was able to clean herself up (mostly after an encounter with a certain someone Canach), and that is when the events of LWS3 begin.

Some lil tidbits

- long ago, she was retrieving an item that had fallen into a body of water. When she grabbed it, she caught sight of a key. Curious, she brought it up to the surface with her. Ever since, she has carried the ornate key with her, using it on every lock she and the team come across (much to their annoyance. it’s become something she has to do and no matter how much the key and lock don’t match, she still does it. It’s priority) for the time being, someone else is the holder of that key

- she has backhanded Braham across the face

- the cattails in her hair are both a blessing and a curse. when needed, she tends to use the fluff inside as a getaway diversion. Unfortunately, there are also times where she could really go without it. There are times during a battle where they get hit and explode in a mass of fluff. Other times, they are sensitive enough to get caught on something and, well, explode. Again - a blessing and a curse

- she only recently discovered Wintersday, and boy was it something. Somehow she had never heard of it or come across it in the past, and so when she went into Divinity’s Reach during it, she became almost akin to a child in a candy store. Taimi was with her and didn’t know what to do, so called for backup from the rest of the guild, who arrived as though it were an emergency. Also, with it being her first Wintersday and actually having the time to discover it, Laranthir gifted her a new hammer (her terracotta antique)

- she and Kas get along fine, but since the beginning of Heart of Thorns, Vel and Marjory haven’t been on the best of terms. She snapped at Marjory after so many remarks about the sylvari, and since then, while they can work together, their relationship is a bit strained

- she’s super curious and easily amused, often leading the group astray a little if she’s not completely focused

- she loves to have fun and joke around, but she often takes on the hard, outer shell persona of the Commander and keeps a lot to herself, which has caused some issues at many times

CaVel

There were several conversations between the two of them during his imprisonment at Vigil Keep when he had been moved there during Scarlet’s attack on Lion’s Arch. While she was the Commander, she was still treated as a bit of a “newbie” in the Vigil (all in good fun). She would be tasked with certain small missions and made to carry out certain chores that had her pass by Canach’s cell. He would always comment on things, and while she tried to remain annoyed and ignore him, she eventually began talking to him and found herself looking forward to being sent down to the cells for a task. One day, she went down to boast about a difficult mission she went on and handled primarily on her own, but he was gone, much to her disappointment.

When he was assigned to accompany the Pact into Maguuma to defeat Mordremoth, things were kept professional, until one night, under the strain of their mission and the roaring voice in their heads, Vel muttered to him “make me forget.” From then to the end of the events of Heart of Thorns, the two were in a sort of “friends with benefits” relationship many nights following either of them telling the other to “make them forget.”

Following the death of Trahearne, Canach knew that Vel was by no means okay, and wanted to come to her aid, but had no choice but to return to Anise.

At some point, Canach was in Divinity’s Reach with Anise, forced to tag along with her as they entered a local pub. It was there that a cloaked figure drunkenly stumbled into him, and he saw that it was none other Velancea, drunk off her ass. Surprisingly enough, she recognized him and greeted him with a bright smile and asked if she could buy him a drink. He politely declined, and instead offered to check her into a local inn. It took some trying, but he finally got her out of there and into an inn, where she continuously tried to throw herself at him in her drunken stupor. It wasn’t until she murmured in his ear “make me forget” that he realized why she was like this and wondered just how long she had been doing this to herself. When he managed to get her to sleep, he was conflicted with staying through the night to keep watch over her or leaving, but ultimately decided that it would be best for him to find and return to Anise.

Their paths never crossed again until the events of LWS3 took place and they met up in the asuran lab. He watched her, noting how stable she seemed to be. Silently, she seemed to tell him that she was okay now, but he still wondered how long she had drowned herself in the comfort of alcohol before cleaning herself up.

As they worked together in the Crystal Desert, Velancea seemed to avoid being too alone with him, as though she feared an inevitable conversation about their personal events back in Maguuma.

I have plans to write about two things for CaVel for pre-all or nothing and post-all or nothing, so hopefully I get the time to write and share them with you all soon! In the meantime, don’t hesitate to ask about Vel or any other of my characters (I’m working writing the lore for my others when I have time!). I am more than happy to answer all! There’s so much I have to share about my kids!

[bluering8]

TNG S01

I’m done with TNG S01! I’ve gotta watch some other stuff before I launch into S02, so have a quick round-up of my Very Important opinions on various characters/episodes:

Data - I love Data!! Holy shit do I love Data!! He is precious to me and perfect in every way and I want to hollow him out and wear his skin like a suit. That... possibly sounds creepier than I meant? Look, he’s my perfect wish-fulfilment character, okay. He’s earnest and awkward and he never quite Gets It, but he wants to Get It so badly, and he tries so hard, and whenever he talks people are constantly cutting him off partway through because they’ve decided he’s saying too much or saying it wrong, and he sort of... exemplifies what has been my perspective of the Autistic Experience. And despite all that, he has a career he enjoys and friends who care about him and I want to be him so much that it kind of hurts.

Also, Data has feelings. I will fight anyone to the death on this issue, I sincerely can’t see how anyone could look at Data and not come to the conclusion that he has feelings. Data has so many feelings! He might not have feelings the way humans have feelings, but he unmistakably has his own opinions and his own way of relating to the world. It’s heartbreaking that he doesn’t recognise the value of his own experiences in favour of desperately trying to live up to some arbitrary “correct” way of existing.

Deanna Troi - I hate Troi. I do not want to hate Troi, because empaths are way cooler than they usually get credit for, but she’s so fucking annoying. All she ever does is say things which were already completely fucking obvious. She’s a walking violation of show-don’t-tell and every time she opens her mouth I groan because I know whatever she’s about to say is going to ruin my enjoyment of a scene. About the nicest thing I can say about her is that she’s still a better character then Wesley, being merely irritating rather than universe-warpingly terrible.

Jean-Luc Picard - Picard’s such a dad, holy shit. I never noticed this when I watched TNG before, but now I’m picking up on it as, like, the major facet of his personality. I mean, he also drinks Earl Grey and LARPs as a detective and discusses philosophy with aliens, but mostly he’s just Space Dad now and forever. Somehow I also forgot the LARPing as a detective part of his character? Picard’s just a huge fucking nerd isn’t he.

Q - I have very mixed feelings about Q. On the one hand I always love arrogant, capricious, petulant trickster gods, especially when they have Q’s flair for the theatrical, but on the other hand I think when it comes to Q I maybe love him more in concept than in execution? I spend a lot of time thinking about trickster-god entities and how a nigh-omnipotent creature unbound by linear time and the laws of physics might relate to the universe, and Q’s a very mundane example of the character type. On the gripping hand, Q’s super fun and whenever he shows up I know I’m in for a good time. I strongly suspect that if I were a Q I would also spend an obnoxious amount of time trolling Picard. He’s just so delightfully trollable!

Tasha Yar - Yar falls into a lot of tropes which I absolutely hate, but despite that I kind of... love her anyway?? I just don’t get enough masculine female characters to not love them even when they have rape-y backstories and secret desires to be more feminine and Issues feat. their emotional vulnerabilities, I guess. She was kind of frustrating at first because she kept randomly attacking people, but in the later episodes she seemed to mellow out a lot and started acting the way I’d expect of a security chief, ie 101% willing to solve problems with violence but no longer functioning on a hairtrigger. I’m sad that she died, I would’ve loved to see what she could have grown into as the show developed.

Also she was bros with Worf! Somehow I completely forgot about that, but I love it. This is an extra layer of tragedy in her death, Yar&Worf is a delightful friendship and if it’d had space to develop I sincerely believe it could have toppled Data&Geordi as my most beloved Trek brotp. This is what fanfiction is for, I suppose.

Wesley Crusher - I know it’s kind of Trek cliché to loathe Wesley but boy do I ever loathe Wesley!! The funny thing is that I actually liked him for the first two or three episodes: he was a bright and enthusiastic kid who was transparently desperate for Picard to be his father figure (and Picard was transparently disinterested in being his father figure, which is hilarious), but then he was allowed on the bridge despite not being part of Starfleet or even an acting-cadet at the time, and then the action paused in the middle of an episode so Picard could get lectured on how Wesley is the bestest most wonderfulest, and then... you get the point.

I’m not here to shit on wish-fulfilment characters (I mean, that’d be hypocritical as fuck considering my feelings about Data), I’m here to shit on wish-fulfilment characters who are so devoted to wish-fulfilment that they stop functioning adequately as a character. The universe warps itself into a pretzel so that Wesley can be the bestest most wonderfulest and it really really pisses me off.

S01E01E02 Encounter at Farpoint - You know, for a nigh-omnipotent weird space being, Q is amazingly fucking dumb. Like, who agrees to judge people based on a test without realising that if you tell people you’re testing them they’ll go out of their way to be on their best behaviour? You’re not gonna be getting any kind of reliable data here, Q.

S01E07 Lonely Among Us - What the fuck was this episode, I mean seriously. Okay, so we open with two groups of diplomats who super super hate each other and the Enterprise has to transport them to a meeting, so you’d assume that the episode would revolve around dealing with the conflict between the two groups right? Except no, that’s like the d-plot, the a-plot is there’s a weird space thing and the b-plot is Data has a crush on Sherlock Holmes. The c-plot is Wesley does his homework. And then the episode ends with the news that one group of diplomats has cooked and eaten a member of the other group and Picard’s like “lmao I don’t give a shit, Riker you deal with this I’m gonna go take a nap.” What the fuck, basically.

In other news, spacefuture meat is all cruelty-free synthesised magic apparently. I wonder if vegetarians still exist? Other than vulcans, I guess. I don’t know enough about the philosophy behind not shoving delicious chunks of animal corpse into your face to work out the answer here.

S01E08 Justice - I talked about this episode already and honestly that’s all you really need to know. People try to talk to Picard about Wesley’s impending death and Picard immediately changes the topic to talking about the weird space thing, rinse and repeat.

Anyway I was recently reading about a guy who was transporting prisoners when some of the prisoners escaped. The punishment for letting prisoners escape was death, so he released the rest of the prisoners then ran off to be an outlaw because it wasn’t like they could kill him any more then they were already going to. Then he became Emperor! Anyway the moral of the story is that Light Yagami is a moron escalating punishments are important and if someone knows you’re gonna kill them for something they did then they have basically no reason not to go and do a bunch of other crimes also.

S01E10 Hide and Q - Hey, quick quiz: you encounter a nigh-omnipotent entity who has previously mocked your species for being savage and violent. Said entity dumps you on a planet with a bunch of weird monsters. Do you: a) attempt to communicate with these monsters in the hopes of reaching a peaceful solution, or b) savagely resort to violence by shooting them with your space guns? If you picked option b, then congratulations! You are the crew of the Enterprise. This technically wasn’t the point of the episode, but come on! Step up your mind-game game, Q.

Also Picard yells at Q for constantly changing his costume and it’s like, Picard, dude, you’re aware the thing you’re yelling at isn’t actually Q? Q isn’t a human with superpowers, he’s an incomprehensible entity who occasionally puppets around a meatsack so you can have something convenient to yell at. If there’s one thing I’ve learnt from Greek mythology and also Lovecraft, it’s that you super super do not want to see the incomprehensible entity’s true form.

S01E13 Datalore - I LOVE DATA AND I LOVE HIS HORRIBLE BROTHER!! but also, fuck Wesley. I hate Wesley. He’s immediately suspicious of Lore-as-Data purely on the basis of he sees “Data” doing Lore’s facial tic despite the fact that at the beginning of the episode he walked in on Data attempting to mimic sneezing, and despite the fact that there are several other characters with much better reasons to find Lore-as-Data suspicious.

Actually, you know what my dream rewrite for this episode would be? Someone becoming suspicious of Lore-as-Data, not because they think he’s Lore, but because they think he’s Data. The crew had previously been discussing whether or not they could trust Data now that he’d found links outside of Starfleet, so having that issue play out onscreen would’ve been fantastic. (Especially if it influenced their behaviour towards Data and Lore tried to take advantage of that as a “your friends are dicks, betray them and join me” kind of thing. I’m Here(tm) 24/7 for manipulation and corruption, my dude.)

S01E17 When the Bough Breaks - You know, this entire episode could’ve been solved with cloning. I mean actually it couldn’t, but the problem they thought they were having could’ve been solved with cloning. Ask the Enterprise for some unfucked genetic material and you can make your own kids! As many kids as you want!! More than six kids because seriously I don’t know what you were expecting to achieve with that, that’s not enough people to keep your planet alive.

S01E19 Coming of Age - This episode is an excellent example of What’s Wrong With Wesley. Wesley does an exam, and he loses some points in order to help another person with the exam, and at the end he’s told the other person passed but he didn’t, and the other person’s like “oh but that only happened because Wesley lost points by helping me!!”, because Wesley is so bestest most wonderfulest that the only reason he fails is because he sacrificed himself to help someone else to succeed. There’s a vague attempt at suggesting “oh, but there were other reasons Wesley failed!!” but like, fuck you, you don’t get to show me nothing but Wesley succeeding and then attempt to salvage this mess by telling me there were other factors at play, especially not when there’s so much attention devoted to Wesley helping the other person.

S01E22 Symbiosis - Everyone spends this episode focusing on the wrong thing. See, the Brekkians are selling medicine to the Ornarans, except actually it’s not medicine it’s addictive drugs, and this is bad because... drugs are bad? Don’t do drugs kids!! Why are you all focusing on the part where there are drugs and not the part where the Brekkians are lying shitbags taking relentless advantage of the Ornarans so that they can live like parasite kings in a capitalist hellscape castle?

“Golly gosh I sure can’t understand why anyone would voluntarily become dependent on a drug!!” says FUCKING WESLEY, THE WORST CHARACTER, completely missing the part where the drug actually is medicine and the Ornarans are entirely unaware that they no longer have the plague the drug is medicine for and thus believe that they have literally no other choice than to take the drug if they want to live. There is nothing “voluntary” about this at all, Wesley you absolute fuckwad!! Somebody shove this kid into a locker already.

S01E23 Skin of Evil - There are no pockets in Starfleet uniforms so everyone spends this episode wandering around with stuff awkwardly glued to their sides and it’s terrible and hilarious. I’m pretty sure this is true of other episodes but this is the one where I found it really really noticeable and couldn’t stop laughing.

...this episode was just obnoxiously funny in general actually, Goo Man is trying so hard to be super evil and scary and grimdark but nobody really gives a fuck about it, he’s more just like majorly inconvenient and kind of irritating than he is actually threatening at any point. “You don’t understand! I don’t serve evil, I am evil!!” the Goo Man wails. Picard categorically does not give any kind of a shit in response.

tl;dr: Data is precious and perfect and every time he’s onscreen I start weeping. YOU’RE DOING GREAT, DATA! I’M SO PROUD OF YOU!!

[dearyallfrommatt]

I’d be off like a shot.

I love Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy. Genuinely, like I love banana pudding & cat-head biscuits. I have to sometimes physically restrain myself from reading, watching or listening to it again. I am rarely successful.

 I have owned some copy or another of the books since I was 12, which means going on 33 years. Someone made me copies of all the recently (ish) released audio dramas, from HHGTTG to Mostly Harmless which are different from the original radio broadcast as well as the LPs released in the ‘80s. I have digital copies of the BBC TV show from the ‘80s and own a copy of the audio transcripts. Somewhere I have copies of the three-issue comic book DC put out in the early ‘90s. Here’s a link to the fiendishly hard computer game that was stupid hard back in the days before bigger nerds had the internet to you how not to suck at fiendishly hard video games.

 I’m not kidding, that thing’s a booger. It’s a text-based game that follows Adams’ squirrelly sense of logic and humor. Furthermore, if you’re very well versed in HHGTTG lore and, especially, the book, it’ll screw with your head. I’d say pound-for-pound the hardest free computer game.

 The 2005 movie was... okay. I’ve never seen anything else Garth Jennings has directed nor, to cut the bull, can I with certainty tell you what makes for a good director and what doesn’t make for a good director. I just know it didn’t work on me. And, yes, I understand the concessions made in getting Hollywood to make the damn thing - like the romance subplot that doesn’t exist in other formats because that’s the joke - and I understand the changes in aesthetics that a modern movie required. I read somewhere that almost every glaring change in the movie - i.e., the romantic subplot - was done by Douglas Adams. The emphasis on the Ultimate Question, the Point-Of-View Gun gag that fell flat, that whole business with John Malkovich, all that was done by Adams.

 So it didn’t fly with me, others enjoyed it, and on the whole, I don’t find it a disgrace like, say, Blues Brothers 2000 or how all these sad bastards claim the new Star Wars movies do them. By itself and on it’s own, it’s a perfectly fine movie, whereas Blues Brothers 2000 just sucks out loud.

 Everyone was fine. I’ve grown to tire of Martin Freeman since, which is nobody’s fault but mine. And while I appreciate that Arthur Dent being the last person that should be travelling the Galaxy in search of excitement and adventure and really wild things is part of the joke, but he was a bit much. Mos Def was fine, Sam Rockwell was okay. Zoey Daschanel was adequate. Alan Rickman gave Marvin the best voice since Steve Moore. Along with Stephen Fry as The Book, the only ones that equaled the radio originals.

 I’m probably one of the few fanboys who are less concerned with/entertained by the whole concept of The Ultimate Question than I am by how Probability or, for that matter, Improbability affects sentient beings. We move freely in three dimensions and in one direction in the fourth. However, the fifth dimension, Probability, moves around us and is beyond our control. It’s beyond anyone’s control. We’re constantly caught up in it and can’t get free.

 That sort of outlook - plus a healthy dose of Marvel Comics - definitely influenced my future scientific interests. Don’t get it twisted, I do not have sufficient Latin to speak with authority on these matters and I could totally be getting it confused with fiction or, indeed, my own imagination.

 Like String Theory. Depending on how you approach it, String Theory says there are at least 10 dimensions, all curled up into each other once you get past spacetime. Best I can tell, this is more a mathematical tool than something that could be considered a perfect representation of reality. Like the Holographic Principle or Loop Quantum Gravity, physicists use these as mathematical paths to try to figure out how to combine the Standard Model and Quantum Mechanics to where it makes sense. Otherwise, it’s dividing by Zero.

 And again, it’s fun to think about. Since Many-Worlds Theory is gaining another look as of late, if Sean Carroll’s to be believed, it fits in with that, as well. But actually, it fits with the Copenhagen Interpretation as well, since Probability figures in to something not really existing until it’s observed and what that suggests on a philosophical level.

 MWT is even more fun, since it argues that what it could have been before observation still exists anyway, just in a different dimension or universe or however in the hell they figure that works. It’s all a matter of Perception or, indeed, Probability that determines what “exists”. While it’s entirely possible I am completely misunderstanding modern arguments, all that “existence” is happening all the time. The Matrix, Maya, all that stuff is real. And not real. Or whatever.

 The Ultimate Question does have its charm, don’t get me wrong, but I think the rest of the joke sort of gives the answer. Forty-two, that’s the Answer. That’s the joke. The Answer’s silly because the Question is meaningless. Life, The Universe and Everything just is.

 It’s molded other aspects of my personality and beliefs, as well. An absurdist, borderline nihilist view of existence. The never-ending search for a good laugh in the face of all that’s absurd and nihilistic. The idea that there’s no one, really, in control of it All and, indeed, if there actually is, they’re if not incompetent and silly, they’re beyond comprehension. A galaxy and existence that’s more ridiculous than I can even imagine and simply beyond my ability to wrap my head around it. The emphasis on having fun and dealing with the moment because the future is malleable and the past is unreliable. The bizarre cruelty of life that is nevertheless extremely funny at times. And what the hell, might as well enjoy yourself because no one will do it for you.

 Plus it’s colored my tastes in science fiction, particularly stuff that takes place IN SPACE. I have no truck with Star Trek’s order. The galaxy is an unruly, anarchic place and anyone who tries to put it in a a proper manifest is pissin’ in the wind. The Vogons ring more true than the Federation ever has. The guy just trying to get from point A to point B is more interesting than a Chosen Hero any day of the week.

 Furthermore, since I read that first book back in 1987, I’ve longed for an actual Hitchhiker’s Guide. I forget what it was called, but when a dictionary-slash-encyclopedia cartridge came out for the GameBoy, I searched desperately for one. I’m not even sure it was released. Apparently you can do something similar with a 3DS but I don’t know.

 I put off getting a cell phone for the longest time, but even the burner flip phone I had was like finding out Spider-Man was real. And a smartphone? Get out, son, I have a Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Earth and you can’t tell me otherwise. Why we as a culture don’t appreciate that we’re all carrying super computers in our pocket and what all that allows, and instead use it take pictures of our food and insult each on Twitter depresses me to no end.

 That’s too bad, really, ‘cause I have a Hitchhiker’s Guide, buddy. The Big Trip proved that, as I would plan my days through whatever I was able to find whenever I stopped and looked it up on my smart phone. It gave me direction and answered my questions. Once or twice, it kept me from panicking. Plus, it played music.

 And if someone made a Guide for the Galaxy, I would be off like a shot. I might leave Momma a note, but the rest I wouldn’t even look back. And I’d definitely love to be a roving researcher for them so, you know, give me a call.

[blitzdrake]

Nerdy Men of Letters Dean AU....the SEQUEL  or should I say....PREQUEL (dun dun duuuuun)

So had another rush of ideas for the fun entirely in my head AU where Henry Winchester survives, was firing them off in PM’s to @mayalaen and @powerfulweak when Maya suggested I post it in a forum that could be forwarded to other fans of Nerdy MoL dean....so.....here we go. (First a shot of one of the inspiring picture that started it all.)   [stealth tagging @mashiarasdream to inform them of this WIP and the related link below for the father of this Wip head-cannon to fulfill my daily obligation to give them a fun story idea.]

And for those in the dark...This AU was an elaborate excuse to rerwrite Season 1 with Charlie and Castiel in it WAY sooner, and to put Dean in nerdy glasses as a MoL magic user (Charlie too).  The premise was Henry Winchester returns to his time surviving Abaddon and tries to avert the misfortune to befall his son, but fate (and possibly angels) keep interfering ensuring that Jon continues on the path that while it leads to Henry’s grandchildren, also leads to the death of Mary Campbell, and Jon’s short trip off the deep end.  Link Here 

The last batch of back and forths that result in Dean turning 28ish (or season 1 age I forget) and being initiated as a full Men of Letters with his BFF Charlie (Henry made the MoL America gender inclusive), only to panic worrying about his missing dad and sneaking off from the Bunker after using the MoL lore to forge a pact with a grumpy guardian angel Castiel to provide the muscle he fears he’ll need trying to track down his dad and win over the help of his brother Sam.  But I was admiring looking at old images of the guys in their early acting careers and though of a fun twist. 

So after Mary dies, and Daddy Winchester runs off, Dean is left with Henry, and of course goes into Dean Winchester latches-onto-and-over-emulates-a-parental-figure(tm), diving into being a good little MoL nerd.  Of course he rarely gets to leave the Bunker with how overprotective Grandpa Henry is.  And even worse, he can kiss having a normal life or god-help-him relationship since there isn’t another initiate in the Bunker that isn’t terrified of pissing of super-protective Granpda Henry, except Charlie, his BFF, and she’s hardly interested in dating him. (and visa versa).  So in a desperate bid to not go stircrazy, Dean convinces Grandpa Henry to take him on a few planned trips to Chicago over a few months, when he’s 18, where Grandpa Henry is visiting the super secret Supernatural Library hidden beneath the real Chicago Library.  

Dean, meanwhile decides to sneak into the normal, or as his friend Charlie calls it, “muggle” part of the library to meet...normal people and just get out from the Winchester-names far reaching shadow. 

Years of hiding in the MoL dark bunker and cramming his face into ancient books and manuscripts have lead to dean having a bit of a vision problem, not that he even realized until he’s in a strange place he’s never been, with bright lights, (unlike the Bunker) and is having trouble seeing.

Still he’s escaped Grandpa Henry, and sure there’s a little trouble seeing, but he’s out in the real world, with real people, that don’t care about the supernatural, and he needs to just get out of the normal library for just a second and see the open sky.  So he rushes in the direction he thinks the public library exit is, managing fine even if everything around him is a little blurry, until he runs into another guy, literally.  And his best laid plan come crashing down.

The guy, Jimmy is fairly understanding and a tinsy bit flirty, especially when dean has to get his face fairly close just to see Jimmy clearly.  Once they are both standing again the guy seems to forget where he was rushing a second when he gets a good look back at Dean.

That of course prompts Dean into a nerdy talk about actual angels, which OF course he knows all the stuff the MoL have talked about it. Turns out Jimmy knows plenty too having been raised a good little catholic boy.  But their conversation is halted when Jimmy’s school mates rush in to drag him off to the Freshman Econ class study group he is late for.  Before he can manage to get Dean’s information and figure out which college Dean is in, Dean slips away, having realized the time as well and desperate to get to Grandpa Henry before Henry notices he’s missing.  In a parting shot, Jimmy suggests Dean considers glasses.

A month passes and Dean is eager to join Grandpa Henry on his next trip to Chicago, especially now that he can clearly see with his new glasses, which only Charlie knows the real reason why he suddenly became interested in something he hardly needs to get around the Bunker.

As soon as Grandpa Henry wanders away, Dean sneaks back into the library, ridiculously excited even if he knows the likelihood of bumping into Jimmy again is Nil.

This time he can see a lot more clearly, and wanders off in the direction where the people his age seem to be clustered. (Random college student meet and greet at the public library.)  Surprisingly...(or maybe not, he and Charlie DID cast a luck charm and a finding lost things spell, and borrow an amulet blessed by worshipers of Aphrodite before leaving the bunker.)  And sure enough a few minutes into watching some people have a “quiet” library poetry slam, a voice greets him, whispering flirtingly into his ear. “Hello again Dean.”  This time Dean manages to stick around a few hours, meeting some of Jimmy’s friends, and cautiously avoiding any questions about his own classes or college with healthy deflection.

Long story short over a few months, Dean manages to meet Jimmy in the library every-time he can sneak himself along on Grandpa Henry’s trips. And eventually Charlie catches Dean in the Bunker Bathroom giving himself a pep talk.  She learns that Dean had his first kiss, (that one with Charlie when they were fourteen doesn’t count!) with Jimmy and after a groping make-out session in the public library almost lead to them getting kicked out, has been planning his next visit to Chicago carefully.

Charlie realizes Dean is convincing himself  to work up the nerve to finally lose his V-card next trip to Chicago to meet Jimmy. (Cause god knows no one in the supernatural world is gonna help HENRY “super mage and Savior of the Men of Letters” Winchester’s  pride-and-joy grandson get laid.  Except Charlie.  But her help is more of the wingwoman variety and not the willing participant.)

Charlie gently convinces Dean to promise to tell Jimmy at least a little bit of the truth about himself before going to far.  Dean doesn’t realize she’s trying to be sneaky.  She is concerned that Dean or Jimmy will get themselves hurt or aren’t being honest enough with each other.  Especially since she’s seen the pattern in Dean’s stories that makes her worried about Jimmy’s self acceptance, since Dean’s been building to this for Months, but his stories always end with Jimmy going from being ridiculously flirty, before cooling off and holding the cross on his necklace and pulling back.  Charlie fully believes that with dean’s promise, she has pushed the confrontation back a few trips to Chicago, because she believes Dean will hold back from telling Jimmy all, giving Dean more time and trips for Jimmy to get used to his attraction.  Dean (clueless to Charlie’s intent) isn’t sure bringing up, “oh and I’m kinda a wizard” will help things so Charlie thinks she’s bought them time.  But Charlie underestimates the desire for a teenage Dean to get laid.  So he goes and tells Jimmy the truth about himself the very next visit.  And of course it doesn’t go...well.

Dean implies it’s no more insane than the rest of the Catholic stuff Jimmy believes in, and how Jimmy alternates between believing his faith, “You believe liking me is gonna get you sent to hell and that your priest can turn wine into a dead guys’ blood Jimmy, how is me casting a spell any different?” and resenting his faith for how it makes him compartmentalize his attraction to Dean.  This turns into a fight over Dean vs Jimmy’s problems with being comfortable being Bi, and the issue of Jimmy’s faith and his experimentation.  They argue.  Dean’s learned over the months that Jimmy has an awkward relationship with his religion.  Jimmy believes in it, but he also had some issues with himself that did not click with small town Catholics, so for college he fled his tiny hometown and his HS sweetheart because he was a little bit more BI than he felt his family was ready to accept. But he still has his faith.  So Dean’s comment starts a fight that ends with Dean storming off. 

[This gif isn’t perfect since obviously they haven’t Met...just pretend its more Dean saying he just met THIS side of Jimmy.]

What Dean doesn’t notice in his angry storming away from Jimmy, is that Grandpa Henry was watching the whole thing, having been suspicious about Dean’s behavior lately, especially with how distracted nervous he was this trip.  Dean also doesn’t see Grandpa Henry’s face turn white as a ghost at the sight of Jimmy’s face.  

Grandpa Henry cancels all future trips to the Chicago Supernatural Library, and the next time Dean joins his Grandfather its in NYC.  Which is fine Because Dean is totally over that guy, and his stupid-pretty-face.  So much so that he goes weeks without seeing it, before Charlie introduces him to Facebook and he stalks it to find Jimmy has switched to a college closer to his hometown and has apparently flung himself back into his faith whole heartedly...and his high-school girlfriend, Amelia. 

That’s the list time Dean Winchester see’s or thinks about Jimmy, (or at least admits it) until ten years later, when his father has gone missing, and newly Initiated Man of Letters Dean, breaks into the Bunker artifacts and secures a bond with the guardian angel Castiel, and is startled that he recognizes the face of the vessel the angel has chosen. 

[firefaerie81]

Webtoon Reclist

So I discovered a bunch of webcomics on Line Webtoon recently.  I keep binging things, so here’s a list of recommendations from what I’m up to date on.  Links to the comics themselves are included.

Completed

Always Human - Sunati Raval lives in a world where genetic modification is easy and hip, and she loves changing her look.  Meeting Austen, a girl whose immune system rejects mods, makes Sunati see a new angle of things.  She and Austen are interested in each other, but they only just met, so making this relationship float will take work from both parties.

Girls Have a Blog - Sarah and Tara had a webcomic while they were in art school, but after Webtoon found it years later and asked to feature it, they decided to make a new version on the same premise: the two of them living together and having adventures in art, writing, and adulting.

My Boo - Yuri So can see ghosts, but ever since she was young, she’s made it a point to never let anyone know, not even the ghosts.  No matter what, when someone finds out it becomes a burden for her.  Unfortunately, a careless mistake leads to her moving into a house inhabited by a ghost named Jun Ko.  Yuri’s only able to ignore Jun for so long, and it’s time she finally confronted her personal demons.

Note: My Boo is on Webtoon’s “Daily Pass” system.  The first five episodes are freely available, then every successive episode requires a Daily Pass to unlock for two weeks, of which a user will only get one a day without paying for more.

Oh! Holy - Jamie Oh has had a hard time making friends due to his ability to see ghosts.  The one friend he had, Holy Joo, moved away long ago, abandoning their promise to see the world together.  After that, he gave up on trying to connect with anyone but ghosts.  But after Jamie crosses paths with Holy again in high school, an accident threatens her life, forcing the two to make a deal with a reaper to stay alive.

Orange Marmalade - Mari Baek is a vampire who only wants to live quietly in one place instead of being run out of town every time someone finds out what she is.  Unfortunately, the most popular boy in her school takes a shine to her after her instincts get the better of her in the presence of his strong-smelling blood.  She doesn’t like attention, but maybe a few friends and a boyfriend wouldn’t be so bad.  Assuming, of course, that she can trust them.

Note: Orange Marmalade is on Webtoon’s “Daily Pass” system.  The first seven episodes are freely available, then every successive episode requires a Daily Pass to unlock for two weeks, of which a user will only get one a day without paying for more.

Shard - Shay is a witch on the run from her coven, desperate to keep out of their control and live her own life.  There’s a certain spell she wants to cast, a portal she wants to open, and the missing piece is a virgin.  Her best bet is one of a group of geology nerds she manages to come across, but the trick will be getting him into the ritual before her coven can get their claws back on her.

Super Secret - As far as Emma Ji knows, she’s just very close with her next door neighbors.  But the truth is that her parents signed a Rapunzel-esque contract with this family of supernatural beings after wronging them before Emma was born.  The son of the family, Ryan, developed feelings for Emma over the years, but he’d rather do things on her terms than because of some contract.

unTouchable - Vampires have evolved over the centuries, moving from consuming blood to absorbing energy through touch.  Sia Lee is one such vampire, and Jiho Shin – the best target she’s ever set her sights on – has extreme OCD, so she decides to help him get over it.  Is Sia really going this far just for a meal, or is there actually something to her claim of feelings for Jiho?

Where Tangents Meet - Landon Takahashi was left cynical and bitter by 17 years of people pretending to like him for his money and balking at his geeky hobbies.  Rachelle Fletcher is a year older, yet so sweet and flighty that she blows away all of Landon’s preconceived notions about people.  They grow close quickly, and decide to navigate the foibles of their first serious relationship together.

Ongoing

#Blessed - Joanna is young and frustrated with her love life.  She thinks playing around with a dating app will improve her situation, but things only get worse when a mistaken swipe locks her into a contract with a gaggle of godly beings who all want a chance at dating her.  She has to choose one of them in the end, and they won’t leave her alone, but the rest is in her hands.

Aerial Magic - Wisteria Kemp is a textblind mage who dreams of doing aerial magic professionally.  Her only hope of joining a guild and being officially qualified is an apprenticeship.  Apprentices are a dying practice, so the only person who would take her on lives in a city far away from her town.  Wisteria has to not only learn as much as she can from Cecily, but navigate interacting with Cecily’s son Lachlan and her employees Amal and Killian.

Assassin Roommate - Mags isn’t the most adept in social situations with new people, but she needs a roommate to afford her new place.  She’s read all about the problems of being too close to one’s roommate, so she’s determined to be strictly professional.  And as friendly and gorgeous as her new roommate Kurt is, he could never know about her job as an assassin even if they did get close.

Castle Swimmer - Many of the underwater kingdoms of merfolk have prophecies, but they all have one thing in common: they center around a golden mer called The Beacon arriving and bestowing some boon upon the kingdom.  The shark kingdom is a cursed community, hoping against hope for The Beacon to arrive and fulfill their prophecy… of being killed by their prince to lift the curse.  But what happens when neither prince nor beacon want any of this prophecy burden?

The Croaking - Humanoids with the wings of birds populate an island civilization.  As an Osprey, Ky Cedoc is an unusual recruit at the Roost military academy.  As a Crow, Scra Eldwode is even more unusual.  How perfect, then, that these two misfits are placed as roommates on top of having met right before the semester started.  Well, not so perfect, since Scra is hardly around, sneaking out every night, and there are whispers among the city gangs about something called The Croaking.

Crumbs - Urban fantasy meets easygoing slice of life. Every Friday, Ray makes a trip to her favorite magical bakery, where customers can buy pastries imbued with confidence, inspiration, anything you can imagine.  Every week, Ray walks in and has her favorite flavor: romance.  And one day, the baker’s nephew reaches out to her.

Empyrea - Soul-stealing demons known as keres plague the twelve realms, and only the Aetherborn knights have the power to combat them.  Tristan, otherwise known as Hawk, is a strange knight who refuses to serve a lord.  Kira is a young inventor straining against the expectations of her family.  The two cross paths one night, and their lives begin to change.

Freaking Romance - Zylith is striking out on her own after being thrown out of her parents’ home at age 18.  The only apartment she can afford on her savings was reported by previous tenants to be haunted, which only intrigues Zylith more because of her fondness for the paranormal.  She’s excited to start seeing a boy who seems like a ghost around her apartment, until she and her friend do some digging and find out the last girl who lived there disappeared after seeing him.

I Love Yoo - Yoo Shin-Ae couldn’t care less about romance.  She cares way more about food and making ends meet, and she loudly rejects any sort of advances.  Through a series of shenanigans at a party, Shin-Ae’s life ends up entangled with two boys, one who takes a shine to her immediately and one who’s just as prickly about girls as she is about boys.

Ketchup - Soulmates aren’t necessarily a romantic relationship, but they do have a link that can pass glimpses of the five senses as well as emotions between the pair.  Riley and Kelyn were childhood friends, but right when Riley was figuring out that they were linked, one wrong move destroyed their friendship.  Years later, they’re reunited when Kelyn finally discovers their link.  Kelyn wants to rekindle their old bond, but Riley still carries a grudge from their falling out.

Lackadaisy - In a version of prohibition-era St. Louis populated by anthropomorphic cats, the Lackadaisy speakeasy was once a booming beacon of night life.  But with its owner dead, his widow Mitzi is left with a ragtag handful of employees and not enough booze to go around for her few customers.  Mitzi will be damned before she sees the place her husband built die, and she will do whatever it takes to put Lackadaisy back on top.

Lore Olympus - This modern retelling of the Taking of Persephone sees the mythological Greek gods and heroes in a metropolitan setting.  Persephone is a country mouse at her first big city party, and Aphrodite decides to play a trick on her and grim Hades.  Persephone and Hades end up thoroughly embarrassed, but also oddly enchanted.

Mage & Demon Queen - The demon tower is a gauntlet where adventurers of the highest order test their mettle, but very few make it to the top, where the demon queen Velverosa dwells, and no one has ever managed to kill her.  Many have died trying, respawning back in town to tell the tale.  Malori is a young mage who climbs the tower countless times.  She faces the demon queen over and over, in hopes of wooing her.

Melody of Orange - The Curse of Eve binds soulmates together, not by a love link but by a death link.  When one dies, the other will die in the same manner, no matter the situation.  While love isn’t explicitly part of the curse, soulmates are generally encouraged to be together.  However, when Mikan meets a scary boy she finds to be her soulmate, she wants nothing to do with him.  It’s not for the reasons you might think; it’s Mikan herself who’s carrying an intense guilt that makes her feel unworthy of happiness.

Nothing Special - Callie doesn’t think of herself as anything special, not when there are fairies, demons, and all sorts of magical creatures just beyond a doorway.  A boy from her school disagrees when he’s freaked out by his sudden ability to see spirits and impressed by her knowledge of the supernatural.  Together, they embark on a journey through the spirit world to save Callie’s dad, and maybe learn a little about themselves and each other along the way.

Siren’s Lament - Lyra is a bit of a wallflower, content with her ordinary life, content to run her flower shop and silently pine for her friend Shon while he dates someone else.  But one night, her emotions get the better of her, and she ends up involved in a curse with a siren named Ian.  Ian is the opposite of helpful, and the curse he brought with him is nothing but a burden, but he does challenge Lyra to seize the day and ask for more from her simple life.

Strawberry Seafoam - The Delphic Academy teaches magic to young mermaids who hope to one day become powerful Delphiniums.  Frasei is one such mermaid, eager to follow in her mother’s footsteps, and her life does not at all go according to plan.  Dark forces begin to mobilize around the academy, and Frasei finds herself the only one able to combat them with her newfound unique ability to transform her tail.

Tyran Awakening - Zoe is an average teen living in the not too distant future.  When she picks a fight with some bullies, however, something unbelievable happens.  She survives certain death, and she begins to feel powerful.  Almost like a dragon.  Ancient forces are awakened, and the only one Zoe feels she can trust with all this is her friend (or maybe more) Marthe.

unOrdinary - It’s a given in this world that just about everyone has some kind of superpower.  John Doe is a rare exception, having no ability at all yet somehow going to a school with a high premium on abilities.  He firmly believes that might shouldn’t make right, but it’s only due to his high-tier friend Seraphina that he hasn’t been beaten to death several times over for ignoring the hierarchy in place.  (Warning for repeated use of the word “cripple” to describe John’s lack of powers)

[hollygopossumlovesj2]

Dean Winchester’s Lyrics, Part 1

Summary: Dean Winchester isn’t exactly competent when it comes to relationships. He’s had nearly a life time to tell Y/N how he feels. Instead, he’s found himself in bed with her more times than he can count and left her with almost nothing after. Dean tries to reach her in his own way, but it’s not enough.When Dean finally figures out how he feels and what to say, Y/N quits the life and he lets her go. A spell of epic and violent proportions brings them back together. This is Y/N’s side of the story.

Warnings: This has adult language and explicit sexual context. Also, canonical violence is to follow.

A/N: This was written for @creatively-charlie‘s awesome challenge! There is a prompt, but I’m going to wait until the end to reveal it. This story is complete and has 5 parts. I hope you like it! Let me know what you think!

Tagging: @perpetualabsurdity, @maileann, @daydreamingintheimpala, @gecko9596, @gemini75eeyore, @jotink78, @dancingalone21, @winchesterprincessbride, @sandlee44, @exploratiionist, @arryn-nyx, @littledarlinhavefaithinme, @tiffanycaruso, @boredoutofmymindstuff, @feelmyroarrrr, @raeganr99, @ruprecht0420, @anokhi07, @letsgetyourdeanon, @sis-tafics, @jensen-gal

You weren’t always sure why the Winchester’s crossed your mind, seemingly out of the blue. But sometimes, they invaded your thoughts at inopportune occasions. Sometimes, you were supposed to be taking notes in class. Other times, you were supposed to be concentrating on which espresso drink you were supposed to be concocting for the college student masses.

You were also pretty sure you had some form of PTSD because of the vivid nightmares you had every night like clockwork. They were in those too. It was one particular Winchester that popped up in the bath while you were trying to relax or while you were laying in bed awake at night. Sometimes he was all your mind could think of while you were in bed with someone else. It was always an awkward moment when you accidentally whispered his name instead of the person you were having sex with. Uh… Oops?

You and Sam had always had a connection, whether it was intellect or nerding out over the latest new discovery in the lore. He was always up for a friendly debate and always kept you on your toes. Sam was also the one you could rely on for sage advice and a reassuring hug. He more than made up for the inadequacies in your own relationship with your family. He was comfort and protection.

However, as cliched as it was, Dean was who had stolen your heart. You’d spent your tumultuous, rebellious teenage years pining for the idiot. Then, you’d transitioned into trying to maintain a strictly business relationship with the guy as you matured, with emphasis on not making a fool of yourself. And finally, when you’d lost the last of your family, it was Dean who had helped you pick up the pieces.

Of course, it shouldn’t have been a surprise to you, how he’d managed to suck you in closer. It was like he was surrounded with an irresistible gravitational pull, and you were helpless against being brought into his orbit. It hurt to fight against his soulful, green eyes and self deprecating smile. Not to mention his childlike glee when he discovered some newly concocted food item on the road.

For a long time, Dean was an enigma. It was hard to get a read on his expression or to guess what was on his mind. He was a master at locking it all up. However, you found it was easier to judge his state of mind by the music he was listening too. That’s when he let his guard down and the tension dropped from his shoulders. There was no better way to get a read on Dean than to ride in that beautiful car of his with a cassette in his ancient tape deck. Dean loved music. He loved the lyrics and the melody. He favored songs with layers that made a complex sound and his favorite part of a song was always the bridge. He’d informed you during one candid moment that the bridge was the soul of the music.

You loved the way he would immerse himself, the way his body would move to the beat of the song. The way his fingers would drum against the steering wheel during a guitar solo. He mesmerized you.

Your first night staying with them, after they’d found out you were alone in the world through the hunter network, Dean had kept his usual distance. You’d catch his assessing gaze from across the hotel room, but he’d turn away so quickly you weren’t even sure it had been there.

It was shortly there after that you began finding lyrics on scrap pieces of journal paper, burger wrappers and hotel stationary. Each quote from the songs reached you in a way spoken words never could. The first words you’d found had been stashed underneath your pillow. The boys had retired to the room next door, and you weren’t sure when he had found time to hide it there, but you recognized Dean’s easy scrawl from case notes.

“‘So, never mind the darkness, we still can find a way. 'Cause nothing lasts forever, even cold November rain.”

By then, Dean had become a pro at loved ones leaving him behind. It shouldn’t have been a shock that he always knew what words to choose to reach you. Just like, it shouldn’t have even been a surprise to you that after a night of too much whiskey and too many dark thoughts in your head, you had fallen into bed with the oldest Winchester.

It became terrible, enabling and fairly toxic… You’re not even sure it really qualified as a relationship. If the other found themselves feeling anything too strongly, you found your comfort in the other’s bed. It could’ve been sadness, anger, fear… It was a dangerous 'friends with benefits’ that did a number on your psyche. It became more and more difficult to maintain the more you watched him leave a bar with a different girl each night.

Anyhow, the arrangement came to a close on mutual terms. You’d gone one direction down the highway and he’d gone the opposite. In other words, he refused to commit in any way and you realized that you would only be banging your head into a wall of you chose to stay.

However, a couple of years down that particular road came to a screeching halt as you’d finished up an easy salt and burn on your own. You were covered in soot from the fire and you’d torn your favorite blue jeans, but other than that you were unscathed. You weren’t expecting a visitor though.

Dean did not go straight to Lisa the day that Sam Winchester backflipped into Lucifer’s cage. You only knew of one pit stop. He’d found you in an obscure motel in Biloxi, Tx and had been waiting in your room for only he knows how long.

You’d known something was going down, you’d heard it through a few conversations with Sam. But when Dean had turned his pale, tear stained face towards you from where he was slouched on the floor at the foot of the bed without any of his usual walls in sight, you knew that it hadn’t gone well. You’d spent part of the night absorbing all of his sadness and frustration. Sadness because he’d lost his brother. Frustration at his inability to stow all of it away like he usually did. You let him rage, let him break things all over the motel room. The lamp, the alarm clock… Anything that wasn’t nailed down fell victim. Then, he laid regret filled, sloppy kiss on your neck and lips as he thrust deep into your body.

It hadn’t been the first time he’d come to your bed upset about something, but it was the first time you felt like he was having sex with you for more than just getting off. He was slow and deliberate like he wanted to savor every bit of you against him. The long drag and exquisite friction of his body inside of yours. Each sound that escaped from his lips sounded like pure agony, like every bit of pleasure packed a punch along with it.

You’d clung to each other, relished the way your bodies melted together with no air between you. You felt his every breath and every jerk and shudder of his body against yours. His face was hot and wet where he’d buried it against your neck.

You heard every gasp and moan, like he was physically coming apart at the seams. You’d already come a couple of times when you finally felt him become more desperate. Every muscle was pulled taut like a bow string, his cock hot and impossibly harder inside. His fingers, where they gripped your shoulder and back, leaving bruises as he held you tighter.

He never sped up, his slow pace losing rhythm as he fought for control. But he couldn’t hold out for long, shattering completely, sounding as if he was in pain and it was unbearable. You’d held on tighter to ground him, feeling sparks of pleasure like shooting stars scatter across your stomach as he mouthed at your neck.

He didn’t let go right away, opting to stay buried inside you for as long as he could. He was a warm, shivering weight on top of you.

When the man wasn’t having sex with you, he was untethered. Lost and floating on grief and whiskey. He’d cried until he hadn’t had anything left and passed out. Then you’d finally allowed yourself to be broken and cry for him. You’d cried for the friend you’d lost and the brother he’d left behind.

You’d spent the latter part of the night curling your body protectively against his back, your legs tangled with his. One arm wrapped tightly around his waist while the other curled beneath his neck so you could rest a hand on his heart. You’d felt like you were physically trying to keep all of his broken pieces together.

You’d snuck out the next morning to grab a couple of pancake breakfasts and coffee from the lonely McDonald’s across the street. You couldn’t have been gone for ten minutes. However, the only thing that had greeted you when you got back was a lonely scrap of paper that stood out against the ugly burnt orange duvet you’d ruined with Dean the night before.

The paper looked like it had been torn out of a journal and balled up a couple of times, but Dean’s loopy scrawl was easy to read. You had found many scraps of paper on many different occasions. But it was possible that this one hurt you the most.

“And if you say to me tomorrow. Oh what fun it all would be. Then what’s to stop us, pretty baby. But what is and what should never be.”

You’d smiled wryly, tears pooling in your tired eyes and quickly spilling over. You’d taken a moment to let the loss wash over you. It was this way every time Dean left. The pain in your chest proof that Dean had taken another piece of your heart away, leaving jagged edges in its place. You had to wonder what would be left of it if he kept taking pieces of you?

Some people thought Dean was really inept at communication when it came to feelings. Dean wasn’t as emotionally retarded as most people gave him credit for. Sure, he had difficulty expressing himself. But, what he couldn’t vocalize, he substituted with lyrics. Music was what made Dean Winchester feel and he used it to express himself to those he deemed worthy. And once you’d managed to find your way through that hostile maze he protected himself with, there wasn’t a way back out even if you wanted it.

And then you’d chastised yourself for defending Dean after he’d left you with a note, a head full of questions and an aching heart. You’d tucked the abused paper into your pocket and then commenced to eating your feelings before you packed up and split town.

After Sam miraculously returned, he became the liaison between you and the Winchester’s. You helped with research mostly and only joined hunts in person when all other options had been exhausted. For those, you were quick to gank the thing and get outta town as fast as possible.

For your own sake, you tried to keep as much distance between you and Dean as possible. By what you observed, you were painfully aware that he was more than willing to oblige without a fight.

Hunting and revenge, as well as Dean, had become a drug that you had to slowly wean yourself off of and you were determined to make positive changes in your life.

You’d quit the hunting life completely a couple of years ago and put your focus on going back to school. Currently, you were working full time at a coffee shop on campus while you pursued a degree in nursing. It was slow going, and you were older than most of the students there.

However, you’d gotten over the awkwardness and even made a few friends when you’d stopped the compulsion to test anyone who invited you to study at the library with holy water and your silver blade.

You’d kept yourself in shape, practiced with the punching bag in the college gym. You kept up with your self defense training because you may not be hunting, but you would never be helpless.  Other than that, you’d adapted to civilian life rather well after spending the first 27 years hunting with your family. There was no one left, and it had become hard to find a reason to carry on. So, you’d uprooted your life and opted for change.

Well, technically there was no one left in your own family. There were still those Winchester boys, the only people sad to see you leave but happy to see you go. Sam had promised that they would leave you out of it when you’d asked them to.

So, when Dean had staggered into the coffee shop as you and your friend Casey were closing the place down at ten o'clock at night, you were immediately worried. You nearly dropped the stained coffee urn when you saw his bedraggled state from the corner of your eye.

You’d caught it, but the metal had made a loud banging sound that alarmed Casey enough to come and investigate. He’d nearly slid on the recently mopped floor in his haste to check on you, cursing the entire time. “You okay?” You’d nodded that yes you were okay, but your lack of words brought his attention to Dean who had yet to do anything but leak rain water all over the freshly cleaned floors.

“Dude, we’re closed.” Casey was tall, built, dirty blonde, a star rugby player and completely lacked a filter. The kid was five years younger than you, but somehow you’d forged a lasting friendship. He’d been following you around since your first year here. But, right now, you needed him to get lost. “It’s okay, Case. I… I’ve got this.” You nodded at him when he sent you an incredulous look, trying to will him to understand. He obviously didn’t like the idea of leaving you with this intimidating man that looked a little on the homeless and crazy side. You rolled your eyes. It was stupid to think you were ever demure or helpless. However, Casey didn’t know that side of your life. “Seriously, Casey, get lost.” You finally grumped in his direction when he didn’t get the hint.

He’d crossed his arms, looking from Dean to you and back again before he slouched off behind the swinging door that lead to the kitchen. You let the door swing back and forth a few times before you dared to look at Dean Winchester again. And what you saw shattered what few pieces of your heart that you had left.

His shirt was torn, blood oozing into the fabric in some places. It didn’t help that the man was soaking wet, his clothes sagging on his pale, shivering body. All feelings of betrayal flew out of your mind only to be replaced by worry and fear. “Dean?” You finally croaked out, grabbing a clean towel from underneath the counter. “What the hell happened to you?” The man looked like he’d had a fight with a lawnmower and lost spectacularly. His eyes fluttered closed as you instinctively wiped the moisture and what blood you could off of his face before inspecting the rest of his wounds.

He swallowed loudly a couple of times, his voice, when he finally spoke, was hoarse and cracked in places. His speech slurred like he’d already had to much to drink. “Stupid coven f'witches. S’m. We were in t'area…” His eyes lids slid open slowly revealing pin prick pupils and wide forest green irises that looked imploringly into your own eyes. “I ddn’t know wh'else to go… He. I don’ know wh’ they’re gonna do, b’ one of 'em… She 'exed m’.” He wobbled on his feet, leaning into you for balance. The feeling of ice cold water soaking into your clothes was hard to ignore.

Part Two