#i am...going to loose followers for this
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An independent Courier would actually hate being in charge or enforcing standards in New Vegas. At least in my mind.
They made Vegas independent but I feel like that playthrough/style so clearly makes it apparent it isn't for them. They are making Vegas a place where people can live freely, like how House genuinely didn't care what people did but without the behind-the-scenes Big Brother surveillance he did. Having every family, faction, and other influence group or person comes to them about alliances or rules would be draining, and boring, one note.
In an independent Vegas, The Courier is also Independent. They like getting rid of lines and borders that impede freedom, they like to help give people the tool but I don't believe they want to be the one to shape it.
#a lot of this is like how ncr started but then lost its way#the courier would like a democracy but like one that is truly run by the people like if public votes or letting people split off and embrac#their traditions instead of a universal standard like house changing the tribes caesar wiping out so many cultures and the ncr whole thing#with their money being worthless in territories they have not taken control over cause people dont want to#the courier doesnt want to be house 2.0 and i see that so often in peoples interpretations of that ending and I just dont think its the cas#like theyd stay to help it stablize for a but ultimately i think theyd leave to clean up any loose ends or just travel the mojave like#a lot of the dialouge good or evil is very much like the courier doesnt want the responsiblity to be placed on them rather they choose what#they want to take on that is not presented in sort of a scenerio where they losely rule NV cause everyone else would go to them even if the#say they arent in charge#i at least for the follower quest tell them their choices are theirs and no one elses so i see that as their outlook so im biased#cause im also good karma just for how nice I am and I like doing crazy adventure shit and its actually hard to have fun when everyone hates#you for being legion#anyway make of this what you will#fallout#fallout new vegas#fnv#the courier#courier six#courier fnv#the strip fnv#robert edwin house#caesar’s legion#new california republic#independent vegas
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This is your daily reminder to boycott Crunchyroll
#i was obsessed#With#onyx equinox#But apparently it was axed#For no reason I can find#I'm am not just salty#I am the Mediterranean#I am pissed#Do you know how heavy if a cliffhanger it left#It is so aggravating when the creators don't follow through#Scratch that#It's infuriating#Do I even need to bring up#The Legend of Genji#At least Rise tied up as many loose ends as they could#Damn#Off to ao3#i'm going to cry
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you know when a song doesn't overall fit a character too much (not really ill-fitting either, just. not quite There) but one or two lines in it are sooooo....... so on point
#do i add it to the playlist? idk#sometimes i do then later decide it's not an excuse#. as you can tell i am working on my currently extremely lackluster aven playlist#considering how loose i wanna be with it. do i go by vibes. do i follow certain story bits even if they don't represent him as a whole. hm#for now i'm being strict and aiming for stuff that have at least a verse or two that fit or if the topic is on point.
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having a lot of anxiety about series season 2 Existing so i drew loki and me sigyn to help
#now i am anxious but i have art#also i need to be up in less than 4 hours#oh well#it was marginally helpful#im not going to pretend its great#but its good#and its what i needed#loki#loki fanart#logyn art#technically lol#what are backgrounds#late night posts#also i love that my default loki pose is just. floating#go sad boy go#float along in your existential dread#i love you baby#also i didnt look at references until like. last minute#this is fast this is loose this is following the Vibes of tva clothing#and not necessarily On Model#gosh its messy#anyway#goodnight
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Apparently I can meet my goal of roughly 400,000 words in 6 months if I just somehow write at least 2,200 words a day ghbjh... Almost 2,500 today... huzzah...
#Definitely not going to be able to stick with it just due to like... being realistic about my energy levels and etc. ESPECIALLY as we#enter the Evil Summer and it becomes hot all the time. But... one can attempt.. at least...#I'm also a very slow writer since I tend to re-read and edit while I write. and only move onto the next section once what I'm writing#seems okay. Which is easy for visual novel type stuff. since ''sections'' of a conversation are more clearly marked (like if you#have a menu option with 5 different dialogue choices. finish the character's response for choice 1 before moving onto 2. etc.)#Especially since when I'm done with a whole quest I always follow it up by playing through it and picking every option and making sure it#actually all works okay and etc. So I am already going to see it all a second time. Then I can go back and reorder a few words or remove#certain sentences that don't sound natural when I read them out loud (I always read it all outloud to myself since it is... just peple#talking.. it should sound like natural dialogue in their voice. etc). But my ''first draft'' is kind of not as first drafty since I pause t#edit a lot as I go along. So it also takes longer probably than it would take other people who I think treat a first draft as more#of a loose guideline or something. AANYWAY...#80F in my bedroom right now again... huzzah... I did end up finishing and recording that sims build video before the heat wave (or is#it really a heat wave if it's just summer..?? lol) came in.. but now... augh.. the editing... plus the costume photos and all else... Much#to do as always.. Often such a long todo list.. a giant scroll hung upon the walls of the evil hermit wizard tower..#Anyhow.. I hope I can finish getting ready for bed early in time to reward myself with a game of tripeaks solitaire whilst I snack on#cheddar cheese and some of those preserved artichokes in a jar. hrgm... I actually have nasturtiums (ultimate best flower) on the#deck again this year but I had to move them all into a corner today because the leaves were getting burnt by the sun lol.. Also am now more#cautiously weaving through social media to ignore all dragon age news. NOT bc of spoilers (I actually love spoilers/literally never play#any game until there's full guides on it I can read to plan my entire playthrough based on knowing exactly what I want to happen lol + mods#and etc.) but just because I'm so busy with my ownprojects I simply do not have the brainspace to dedicate... Yes I love to think#about elves and fictional universe lore. but no.. I pretend I do not see it. Does not exist to me actually. ghgj.. OHH also took som#cool pictures of flowers in the garden section of a store and I wanted to do like.. character designs based on the colors of the flowers o#something. but that might just be another unnecessary project to add to the pile.. I want to commit to the daunting task of dyeing my#hair again some time.. hrm.. this is all of the updates I can think of. As if a bunch of random tags make up for never posting anything for#weeks on end lol.. alas.. too warm to think properly I suppose.. .. I neeeeeed a long lost relative to leave me some million dollar#estate in their will so I can have the resources to move to a colder climate or something ..augh#.. but for now.. I shall toil away in my little wizard tower trying to write 2000 something words a day whilst sweating and such ghbj
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quick dreamsnso i can find them later
#eating pine branches at grandmas.#lived next door.#renting.#pine branches were really tasty and chewy like ... soupy tootsie rolls?#tried to sneak up on sister#while holding a plastic bag#found. she thought i was soemthing worse. also had been followed by crows for awhile#went back home. grandparents mom and uncles gave me 21 cents and advice on how to have a good birthday on the dime#played sonic the hedgehog with mom except ive never played sonic before in my life so it definitely wasnt that#more like animal crossing with an explore / battle mode?#and you could only pick from 3 characters#mom played with me. i was surprised.#. next dream#exploring a minecraft like world. big mansion#somehow end up in hell#i fall down and loose my exit. have to fight invisible ghasts and monsters until i can explore and find a way back#find a way back. no tools. hard to find resources to make a pickaxe in this mansion.#im with a bunch of people and mocked for not being able to find twigs#someone destroys a chair and hands me a bundle of twigs#i know the next step is to go punch a tree but all the trees growing here are pretty and i dont want to#later theres some ceremony. funeral maybe but with more religious undertones?#i have to wear a dress#and am handed heavy dangly earrings to wear#after i mourn and gather myself. some sort of special symbolism.#i take longer to mourn than the crowd of others would like#wearing the earrings themselves feels like tremendous grief to me. the weight of doing something I Am Not.#then they ask me to put on eyeshadow too#all of this in a very feminine way mind you#i tear tf out of there and flee#i run into more people in the hallway. somehow this place ends up being the church i grew up in
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Wore my team yell hoodie to work today and one of my coworkers asked "oh what does 061 mean?" and um???
How the fuck am I supposed to explain to an old man that it's basically the jersey number for someone who is part of a fictional sports league by technicality--
#I am going to KGKAJDIAJS yeah#I have worn this hoodie to work MULTIPLE times and you just now ask????? sir please let me live--#I don't follow sports besides hockey and even then hockey is very loosely cause hockey is violent and I love it#BUT YEAH IN THE ACTUAL FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO EXPLAIN THAT HELP ME#data log: personal
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autistic arthur headcanon bc he just has a special interest in being a knight and then this random guy (his best friend soulmate true love) comes along and arthur secretly admires him. and so when awarded the job of manservant, merlin gets given all the tasks of a squire as well bc arthur wants to share his special interest with merlin
#i am going to loose all of the thousands of bbc merlin thoughts i have if i keep on texting them to myself#so imma jus post them here seeing as i have no followers and now i can tag stuff so i have some sort of organisation#yippeeee#bbc merlin#autistic arthur
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me: I am going to do things this summer that aren't hyperfixate on a craft.
me, the moment I hear a friend is planning a dragon-themed nursery for an upcoming baby: time to buy more yarn than I can afford, spend 2 hours designing a dragon, spend 3 hours converting it into the right number of stitches, spend 6 hours writing out the whole pattern by hand in colour-coded ink so I can knit at work without needing to haul my tablet around with me, and spend 4 hours, 3 false starts, and a whole pot of coffee spilled on the floor while deciding how i really want the border to work and knitting the first 16 rows
anyway I uh. I have properly begun. I also ordered actual stitch markers bc I'm tired of using safety pins so I guess I'm a real knitter now.
#I also bought other yarn for someone else's baby but I haven't got farther than a general sketch for the pattern on that one#I'm still not quite sure how I'll handle the backing on this one tbh I changed my mind about making it double si#*double sided but I might make the part with the picture double sided so there can't be any loose strings the baby might catch#knitting#I don't even know what I'm doing#usually I just make shit up as I go#which means I'm really bad at following patterns#and here I am trying to make one ugh woops
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Palamedes mention!!
#yes i'm still on hiatus or whatever but i'm reading the aeneid for class#and where else am i going to find classics/locked tomb people to appreciate this#also! i did not remember this but palamedes was a greek who suggested they stop fighting and was killed for it & that raises some parallels#loosely following the line of thought -> gideon is the trojan horse#the locked tomb#the aeneid
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i’m going insane
#it started out as a haha fleeting joke typa thought#and now i’m really fucking considering it#like i need more input on this#if i actually do it im going to be so loose on the rules you can literally do whatever you want#also tell me what you voted i just want to know#if no one wants to do it then obviously i’m not going to host it#if you know me you know i sure as FUCK am not going to host a serious dtiys#do it to gain the satisfaction of seeing morro ninjagos corpse a third time 😌😌#anyone who’s not following me for ninjago i’m sorry but i have to go back to my roots#prizes i don’t even know bro#third gets a kiss on the forehead second gets a kiss on the cheek and first gets a kiss on the lips#joke#i guess 🙄🙄#ninjago#lego ninjago#morro ninjago#ninjago morro#morro wu#ninjago dtiys#maybe
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#i honestly dont get how so many ppl follow me and consistently see what i post - which is often - and i rarely loose followers for most of#it. like. god sometimes i wonder how tf yall stand it. my rants my anger my hey! look at this god awful shit! phases my mental breakdowns#like.....;;;;; this blog is often a very honest look into whats going through my head and what im feeling and thinking and its always been#and i guess i find it odd so many somehow dont find me insufferable#god if anything most go out of yalls way to send me nice messages and whatnot????????#i am confusion
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I found a new questionable rarepair
why are they cute together??
#chiyo yumehara#reita toritsuka#i am going to loose followers#toriyume#the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki no psi nan#rarepairs
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what’s your problem with irls? /genq
I’m schizophrenic. I’ve had this condition since I experienced (a very rapid) onset when I was 10. It took EVERYTHING from me. Every childlike dream of “when i grow up” was gone when I had to face the frightening reality of mental disability and battle my own mind by myself. The I/R/L community is mostly full of people without genuine psychosis using a label and terms that don’t belong to them. I was lucky and privileged to recover/stabilise to where I am, but I was terrified I wasn’t going to. Most of the people who claim to be psychotic over there will never have a fear of becoming a statistic from police violence or losing their job, friends, home, etc. from a very real and debilitating condition. The misinformation is rampant, terms like “reality checking” are thrown around, and reading a lot of it is downright insulting to me. I understand it’s mostly kids who are kinning and don’t realise what they’re doing, but I still don’t want to interact with them or them to interact with me. a community where it’s encouraged to interact with delusions in that way in my opinion is very dangerous when it leaks into online spaces for genuine psychotic people. /nm at your question btw 👍
#let me know if there’s anything y’all need tagged#tw psychosis#anon#censored some stuff to avoid it getting to the wrong space#once again i get its mostly kids#but as a kid who was psychotic it’s insulting for that experience to be so sugarcoated for lack of a better word#i use ‘dni’ as a warning because i do go through people who follow me and i block a TON of people#loosely this goes the same for en0gen1cs. misinfo like that can be very dangerous for people looking for answers for their dissociation#i don’t want to be antagonistic but i sure as hell will be defensive. don’t wanna see it don’t want interact yknow#sorry for any errors i don’t have opendyslexic and am. yknow. schizophrenic have trouble organising my thoughts LMAO#discourse#asks
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Xiăo Shēlì finally comfortable enough around me to lay down within arm's reach !!! AND she touched my hand with her itsy little pawsie while eating !
#j.txt#SHES SO GENTLE..... my little babie.. I am so happy shes getting less skittish and more curious about me :']#only took 5 months of regularly setting out food n water and its so worth it sniffle<3 she was waiting at the sidewalk when I got home#and for context she almost always runs when I go by and certainly never meows. but tonight she followed me at a short distance to the door#and squeaked at me !!!!! several times !!! until I brought food ! her meow is soso light and highpitched its adorableㅠㅠ#this has been your neighborhood strays update of the evening thank you goodnight :]#cats#j.fauna#<new tag for my ('my' in a Very loose sense tht includes any animal I know irl) animals
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need to get weirder
#talking about my art#ive stopped worrying so much about little things and just started doing shit#throwing whatever at a canvas#messing with colors and lines and going nuts with it. reckless abandon if you will#i feel like the more loose i am with what i make#the more naturally it comes to me. the better it reflects what im thinking about#ive focused too long on following my own stupid standards of perfection#i need to break away from it#and just have fun#slowly but surely#faackk its 4 am
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