#i am very flattered you feel it's worth a reread
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Hello! I just wanted to say that your KNY fics are like comfort food to me. Your ongoing ABO TanRen series specifically I read whenever I’m at my lowest low from beginning to end despite having read them over a dozen times I probably could quote my favorite bits (there are a lot) from memory. I didn’t really care for the ship when I first got into the fandom but the way you have written them and your writing specifically has put them in a special place in my heart. I hope you don’t stop writing because I enjoy it immensely
I completely missed this message! Thank you so much! 🥺🥺🥺🥺😳😳😳😳 I'm very flattered anon!! And I'm happy to have converted you onto the ship! I definitely have my preferred way of writing them.
<333333
#so sorry i missed this aaahhhh#if you're still following anon ily#mwah#farmhandler rambles#farmhandler asks#i am very flattered you feel it's worth a reread#let alone memorizing quotes haha
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Honey, I just wanted to say that your fics are more than worth to be reread. Like, gosh, how many times have reread some of your fics? I lost count. Sometimes, during the semester, when I was feeling down and stressed from all the work (which was most of the time really), I just pulled out one of your fics and read that for some much needed comfort💙.
O-.... Ohh....
I'm not sure if it's the wine, the vulnerability in the pain I'm plagued by, or being comfy cozy in bed right now that is making me incredibly emotional about this. Having my fics worth rereading is both flattering and daunting. Daunting mainly because of silly spelling mistakes or gramma issues. Flattering because: "oh my gosh, you actually read what I'm writing."
This is still a very foreign concept to me. I just write stuff that I think would be fun to read, and having someone as talented as you singing praises has seriously moved me to tears.
Uni is hard, I remember the days well. Finding a small corner of comfort makes all the difference in channeling the pitter-patter of anxiousness. I am so glad you've found that corner with my writing in fics. I adore you so much 🖤
#ask snail#snail answers#i adore you#skullfaced snail#i am still all choked up#your art is spectacular
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You are so sweet and a wonderful part of the ACTOAR fandom.
Also your Eris content fully converted me into an Eris girly™️
I’m super excited for all the works you have planned and love rereading the stuff you’ve already written
i cannot find the right gif but AHH thank you. when I first joined the fandom I was so overwhelmed by how many people were here and how much was going on. But now I feel like I've met some wonderful people and made such great friends <3
AND YES MORE ERIS FANS. Our guy needs more love especially since I have very low expectations of what will happen to him in the series.
Thank you for the support - really. I feel so guilty for being a slow writer. I'm trying to balance quality with my sanity/need to get stuff out the door. There's gonna be an influx of fics at the end of this year so I really hope it's worth the wait!! AND I AM FLATTERED YOU REREAD?!"?! I feel like my writing is just so scattered, but I like the variety I guess!
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hiiii do you have a policy regarding binding your fanfic for personal use or for gifting?
hi sweet anon! thanks so much for asking. i don't have a masterpost of my fic policies yet, so i'll take this opportunity to clarify & link this in my sidebar.
bookbinding
i am not OK with typesets, bindings, etc. being put behind paywalls or patreon access!
i am OK with commissioning somebody else to bind a fic -- as long as that commission is exactly the amount of materials!
as for personal use and gifting, like you mention, they are totally fine by me and i LOVE to see it :'D
translations
i LOVE and admire translations! you polyglots are incredible.
i ask that the translator 1) link back to the original and 2) send me a message, email, or AO3 comment with a link to their wonderful work, so I can add it to the fic description.
fanart
make as much art of my fics as you would like!
for free!
podfics
make as many pods of my fics as you would like!
(for freeeee!!!!)
i remain enormously flattered that anybody would want to make transformative work of my fanfics. it is wild to me that anybody would look at disappearances and decide to climb the everest of its translation, for instance. thank you all so much for reading and engaging with this work over the past few years.
to be honest, my writing career since the pandemic has been an extraordinarily bumpy and often demoralizing experience, as publishing tends to be. the positivity around disappearances has been a real lifeline for me. even though i'm not very active in fandom anymore, i still read every ao3 comment, and i hoard a number of them in my inbox to reread on the days that i feel like a talentless hack who will never again write a paragraph worth reading. y'all are a light. <3
#and - as of yesterday - i have Good News to share!!!!!#actually i have two things i'm waiting to announce. i'm so excited about both of them#isn't that what publishing is all about. long periods of financial panic and self-loathing punctuated by moments of ecstasy.#one of these projects is like nothing i've ever done before and#it will - i think - be of real interest to anybody who follows me bc of fanfic!!! yay#fic policies
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LAURIE!!!! popping in to say hi to one of my favorite writers!!! i know this week has been rough for you and i’m sorry :( i hope next week is better for you honey 💕
just reread nothing happens and i am ECSTATIC about the next update btw. nh james is just soooo…
sending you lots of love & hugs & kisses ! MWAH 💋🩷‼️
HI RIN DARLING <3 stop it omg ur gonna make me blush.. <3
it has indeed been quite rough and i think i only survived it bc my sister was here and that helped me push through lmao. but it's fine bc i have the whole weekend off and then after monday i'm getting 3 days off <3 so i'm sure it will be a lot better!! thank u so much babe ur the sweetest
IT'S ALWAYS SO LOVELY TO HEAR THAT U FIND MY STORIES WORTH REREADING!! feeling very giddy and flattered <3 also i too am kinda obsessed with nh james so i totally get u, he's the Moment
sending u even more hugs and kisses AND all my love!! mwah mwah <333
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My dear Wren!
Ah, my chest feels like it is being torn apart! I have only now realized that your love has already been willingly given to another, and considering who it is *cough cough* Imelda.. I cannot possibly compete! But you should know that you shall always live in my heart: smart, funny, energetic, a woman worth thinking of every day and night, somebody who steals my breath away every time I see her, somebody who is compassionate to the point of blowing up some parts of the castle in order to save somebody! My admiration for you would live on long after we graduate! I wish you happiness even if I am not the one responsible for it!
- Your forever secret admirer (💔)
Wren stares at the letter, long and hard, her features set in the same befuddled expression it had been in when she first opened the envelope. The Ravenclaw has been wracking her brains all day, trying to ascertain the identity of her secret admirer. She rereads the letter in her hand, studying its unfamiliar penmanship time and time again, hoping it would somehow invoke the answer she seeks, or at the very least, the courage of a response, instead the knot in her stomach only seems to grow.
Having sent her fair share of unrequited love letters in the past, the notion of receiving one never once crossed her mind…
“Charlie,” she sighs, turning away from the her desk, “what should I even say?”
Her precious niffler only makes a soft snort in response. Wren scratches his fuzzy head with affection. Sometimes she wishes he can truly speak to her.
Summoning her courage, along with her quill and a new parchment, she begins to write:
-
A chara,
I’m in receipt of your courteous letter, containing a declaration of love.
I’ll be frank enough to admit, that I struggle in my attempt to answer your missive with the same poetic fervour which colours your words from beginning to end.
Highly appreciating the straightforward and flattering manner in which you’ve written me, thus it affords me great pain given it was I having subjected you to a heartbreak of such magnitude.
Although it’s impossible for me to recognise you, believing you to be honest, ambitious to do well, possessed of an excellent character and all the wonderful things as your words describe me to be, I most sincerely wish that you may meet with a companion in every way calculated to ensure your happiness.
Le gach dea-mhéin
Wren
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okayokayokay, listen, i started a TPG reread after the last chapter you posted because i was hopped up on my love of this fic, and i finally had to enough free time to get to the chapter where shoko comes over to dinner for the first time aND I JUST LOVE HER (and nanami) SO FUCKING MUCH??!
shoko was a character that i genuinely almost never thought about before this fic. she was simply just, there, when i watched the show, and while her small parts in the hidden inventory arc were enjoyable i basically just went back to never thinking about her. AND THEN YOUR FIC COMES AROUND AND ACTUALLY I LOVE HER SO MUCH AND SHE MAKES ME SO SAD?! you just write her so well, and everything about how she is written by you makes so much sense. one of your utmost strengths as a writer is being able to extrapolate character personalities into their highest potential. every time you've introduced a character and forced us to contend with their emotions and thought processes, i'm astounded by how seamless it is. it never feels out of place or tacked on. it's always just "yeah, obviously this is how this character would think/act/feel, makes total sense with everything we know of them from canon."
AND THEN NANASHOKO WHICH I HAVE ALREADY YELLED ABOUT SO MANY TIMES BUT AGHAFDGKHFDAHJL (<- had to be tazed) their interactions have me eating drywall. like, she has his hoodie?? from highschool??? i'm going to go insane!??? also i am realizing how beautiful it is that really the first big thing nanami does after coming back to sorcery and accepting that loving people even at the risk of hurt is worth it, is he goes and begins the process of rescuing shouko from the same fate he was heading towards??? he wants to protect people now and he goES AND GETS HER (even if that wasnt his original intent when he went to visit her but i digress) anyway, i love your writing, you have made me love a character i did not ever expect to ever really care about, and then handed me a ship for said character that makes me want to go koolaid man through my wall <3 also sick of losing soulmates by dodie is such a nanashoko song it came on my spotify shuffle and i then lost my mind
PLEASE OH MY GOD YOU ARE SO SWEET...honestly, i wish shoko got more attention in canon!! even in the arc where we saw more of her backstory, the spotlight was still on stsg basically the whole time and we didn't learn much more about her. i've had to do a lot of extrapolation from what we know of her in canon, but it's so flattering that you think her more fleshed-out characterization in tpg is compelling and believable!!
AS FOR NANASHOKO...THEY OWN MY WHOLE HEART. i feel immensely accomplished by how many people have said they never considered the ship before but love it now. i think there's a very delicate balance to strike in terms of shipping characters that are similar -- they need to be able to relate to each other in a way no one else can, but also be different enough for their dynamic to still be interesting. and shoko stealing nanami's hoodies makes me feral too like ohhh theyre so. oughh. i love them. anyways i listened to that song and it ruined me so thank you for that and for this lovely message!!!
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*sigh* Hi. It's me 7AM reread Anon (just know that if it weren't for the exam i've got in 2 hours i'd be rereading it for the third Time in... 2 days... And yes... at 7AM again...) SOTF really gots me in a chokehold (which... Ironic ig) because i just woke up and my brain came back to the last chapter and what could have been Anakin's train of thoughts at some point, which went about like this :
"Such a pretty Baby boy... My baby boy, all mine. My good boy who gave me all of his first time... They are all mine just as he is" Eh just woke up so it's not making as much sense as it did 10 minutes ago.
BUT What i really wanted to share with you are my guesses about what will happen in the future! (Don't have to tell me if i'm right i just wanted to share them with you)
1. The whole Anakin picks Luke up from school and then makes sure he didn't have "too much fun" becomes a bit of a ritual and Luke is horrified to discover how terrible he feels when Obi-Wan is home and they can't do it (with late night visit from Anakin softly teasing him about it)
2. The one thing i think will lead to a spanking is Luke refusing to give Anakin a blowjob (the one thing where Luke must be a more active part of everything and well despite last chapter he's still very much in denial) even if you did say that Anakin gets most of his pleasure from Luke's so again it might not happen
("Are you ready to please Daddy now Baby?"
Luke nods, sniffling.
"That's my good boy", Anakin gives him a little stroke, urging him softly to the ground.
Luke whimpers as he kneels, no carpet for his knees and his backside on fire where it rests on his feet.
"Does it hurt Baby? You know that naughty boys shouldn't get pillows ?", The older man reprimands.
The blond nods even as he holds back more tears. He hears a sigh from above him "I really spoil you too much"
Luke blinks when two pillows enter his line of sight.)
There. 7 AM woke up thinking about that, thought i'd share it with you.
3. Last minute thought but perhaps an exhange student or just young adult Din ending up in Tatooine and flirting with Luke which, unfortunately for him, happened right in front of his dad
7am anon, you are a treasure and a saint.
I adore this ask, partly because you are sweet as a peach, and partly because this is the shit that makes fanfiction so good!! Me sharing my nasty ass trash ramblings and inspiring someone else to pop their head in and say, "What about this?" is like. The joy of creation and the human experience. Readers like you make writing worth it.
Thank you for spoiling me with your glowing praise, I am truly flattered beyond belief ♥ I hope you enjoy tomorrow's update!
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the ear fix was so good just like 😫😫 the way you write matty scratches every itch in my brain and i can’t stop rereading your stuff literally everyday !! he’s so soft & vulnerable i just want to cuddle him
perhaps Matty’s next journey is to the dentist for a cavity & given his feelings with every other doctor a dentist by all means wouldn’t be his favorite place either 😭🥺
Yay! I'm honestly so happy that people have enjoyed the ear infection fic! I was worried I took too long to finish it and that people weren't going to care anymore. Instead, everyone has been so extremely kind and complimentary and I really appreciate it, it makes my heart so happy. I'm also extremely flattered that you like my characterization of Fictional!Matty- he's a very multilayered guy and I'm so happy that my version resonates with you. (And that you want to cuddle him- I think with all that I've put him through he could use a good cuddle. My favorite line in the Ear Infection fic was "Take your fucking shoes off and hold me." Because, well, Matty really needed that at that point haha)
You might be onto something with the dentist thing 🤔 I too am very afraid of the dentist, to the point where when I chipped my tooth as a child they decided to just leave it because it wasn't worth the trauma of trying to fix it (the two years I had braces might have been the actual worst two years of my life) 😂 However, I miraculously have never had a cavity, and therefore am unsure if I can do that miserable experience justice. I'm going to make note of this idea though and we will see what ends up happening 👀 I don't want to make any promises but we might / will hopefully be visiting infection-verse!fictional!Matty again in the future!
Thank you so much for reading and taking the time to send in an ask! It's so reward and makes me so happy to hear that people are enjoying my fic and I am forever grateful!
❤️Ally
#allylikethecat#ask ally#anon ask#fanfiction#matty healy rpf#matty healy fanfiction#the 1975 rpf#fanfic#I Know the Sound#the ear infection fic#ear infection fic#dentist fic?#thank you so much to all of the kind anons today#you guys have made me the happiest person#im so thankful for this happy little space of kindness that we have carved out#if anyone ever wants to chat about fic#or the boys#or hockey#or horses#or literally anything my asks and dms are always open#or books! i also enjoy chatting about books#and oversharing about random things about myself on the internet#sometimes i say things and my coworkers just look at me like wtf#and then i have to explain that i get really obsessed with and pick up really intense hobbies#and am super into them for like a year or two then find a new one
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Hello there! I think I’m one of those peeps who appears to have just randomly ended up here bc my blog is many things, but it is not primarily a kotlc blog, and I show up and like your posts once in a blue moon - I’ve been lurking in the fandom tags for months (and whenever I’m in a lurking phase I’m always hesitant to like or rb things because anxiety is mean) after not really interacting with keeper fandoms for years (I think your analyses were some of the first posts I came across when I was rereading the series) and seeing other people post about my gay elf blorbos is so wonderful :)
Also, getting to the point here - I stayed up past 2 AM reading your fic because it was just. Anskdkfjdklsjf. Incredible. The stars-space-dark-light and finding each other motifs were so poignant and TIERTICE PROPOSAL (especially Prentice being the one to initiate affection and reminiscing and everything because Tiergan is so scared of getting so close just to lose him again and just. Oh my god the tenderness) and Tam rescuing Wylie from the light and them becoming brothers (brothers!!!!) and Linh and Rayni making amends and FAMILY and love and I absolutely love your writing style and this is just sleep deprived gushing but tldr: your blog and writing are wonderful and I hope this doesn’t come off as too weird! -🐳 (not sure if you already have a whale anon?)
Hello! I do not have a whale anon yet! Lurkers and not quite involved people are wonderful, it's so cool to see people who enjoy the same things I do even if you haven't made it practically your entire personality online. I'd put you in the "kinda unexpected but understandable" category, where I wouldn't peg the blog as a kotlc blog but they're involved in enough middle grade/ya fandoms that I can assume they partake in keeper casually.
There's just also this other category of "unexpected and I don't fully understand why you're here." This happens with like poetry and art aesthetic blogs run by adults, where they don't seem like someone who'd read keeper? And that's why most people follow me? But who am I to know their interests? So it perplexes me sometimes. I assume it's gotta do with my popular sibling post or something
But! back to your point! I am so sorry you stayed up late but also so flattered by that at the same time? wdym my silly little fic was worth losing sleep over? that does mean you got to read the fic at the same time the fic was set at though! I think that's fun.
Thank you for all the compliments!! i love the consistency the different motifs bring to each story, it feels like they're all intertwined in a deeper way. Like they're all on similar wavelengths in ways they can't even recognize but we can from the outside. It's so satisfying to write.
And the tiertice proposal! now they can be true antenna husbands <33. Was nervous to write their dynamic because I will be honest, I did absolutely all of it from memory and that memory was not very strong. Did not really pay attention to them at all when reading. And then when I realized "hey I didn't pay attention to them at all maybe I should double check what their dynamic is" I was too far into it and decided no we're winging it. If I just make this really good people will be too busy screaming to notice if they're out of character. I'm very glad I went ahead with my idea to add it (a proposal was NOWHERE in the original plan) because everyone seems to enjoy it if not find it absolutely adorable.
Yes!! Tam rescuing Wylie from the light! I hadn't even realized at first the meaning that could be found in that, I wrote it and only later realized that Wylie had been trying to get away from the light about found comfort in Tam, a shade. But I think it's an interesting comment on the importance of family to the two of them and the bond they've fostered, how something that can be seen as so threatening (all the things in the dark) can be utterly meaningless when it comes to someone you love. They're brothers and fiercely love each other, and it transcends expectations and social norms and they do it so casually. They fell into that life together, and I am. Endlessly fascinated by them.
Then there's Linh and Rayni!! Full disclosure I wasn't a huge Rayni fan going into this fic (she was fine, but I had more appreciation for her when she was Glimmer), but she grew on me. I admire how unapologetic she is, how thoroughly she's cast off her care for what other people think. I'm working towards being like that, but am not nearly as casual about it as she is. That whole section was an experiment with them
and don't worry, none of this comes off as weird at all! I think a lot of people fear they're weirder than they are, and if they are weird they should embrace it more :). I'm absolutely flattered you like my writing style though, so lucky for you I have no intention of stopping writing. Telling stories is so fulfilling I have zero desire to stop! so thank you for the encouragement, which I will use as writing fuel whenever I start up my next project (which is the dialogue prompts, but breaks about to be over and I just wrote that other fic so I'm chilling atm)
#quil's queries#quil's queridos#🐳 nonsie#you know I don't know much about whales#i'm more familiar with giraffes but it's also been a while and a lot of the knowledge is fuzzy#maybe I should indulge 7 year old me who fuckin adored giraffes#i don't actually know why she did but she sure did!#(i refer to past me as she)#do you know much about whales?#maybe I should watch a documentary
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Hello, I am here to excitedly rave about Only You Darling and shower you in well-deserved compliments. Anybody else reading this, stop if you haven't read Only You Darling as there will be SPOILERS.
First of all, your writing is brilliant, I wish I could come up with plots like you do. I have so many fics that I start writing and then I don't know how to get from A to B or what should happen next and just give up.
I have read Only You Darling (and also What The Body Wants, the whole concept of that fic >>>) twice now, and I'm sure I'll read it again in the future. My first read was a wild ride, I was so invested, I thought what if it's Yeonjun and Beomgyu but nah, then I when Soobin came into the picture I was sure it was Soobin and then it was Beomjun! Every time I thought i had it figured out, you had me doubting myself. I loved all the twists and turns and the way I was so stressed after everything went down and the reader was living in that house, the imagery that you created was amazing. I have to say that it's the best fic I've read on this site. Hands down. I don't think I've read such a well planned and fleshed out fic in maybe a decade (not to show my age haha), after I was done reading I felt as if I'd just watched a movie. I don't even get through thriller novels, I always get bored with the pacing or the writing, but you had me in the palm of your hand.
I'm sure I have more thoughts, but right now they're just a blurred mess of excitement and awe. Thank you for sharing your work and making me excited about reading fics again. I am slowly making my way through the rest of your stuff, I'm sure I will be back to word-vomit on you about other stories in the future!
HAIIIIII HIHIHI OMG IM SOOOO SORRY I TOOK LITERAL MONTHS TO ANSWER THIS 😭😭😭🙁 i saw it and wanted to make sure that i had time to answer all your points but then i KEPT FORGETTING ABOUT IT 😭😭 but please know that i really appreciate feedback like 🫶🫶🫶 getting a review on oyd always makes me so happy and you really delivered with this
full response under the cut :]
AHHHHSJDBSKDB BUT THANK U OMG 💔💔 when i first started writing on here i’d neverrrr thought i’d be writing long fics so consistently… even 10k was a huge rare accomplishment to me akzbwkdjs,,, it takes time to really figure out what works and what doesn’t with writing methods but… i wish you the best of luck with all your wips and i’m sure you’ll be able to have a breakthrough someday with any you might be struggling on !!! i believe in you !!!
YOU’VE READ OYD TWICE. Oh… my heart T_T idk but like,, i’ve never really been able to grasp the concept that people actually.. reread my stories. That’s genuinely one of the most flattering things to hear in my opinion bc 😭😭 to hear that i’ve managed to write a fic that’s worth being read again is mind blowing to me algskldgh (also thank you !!! WTBW is forever near and dear to my heart <3)
It’s always so satisfying to hear that my attempts on tricking the readers were successful hehe :3 it was one of the major things i was worried about tbh,,, it took a lot of thinking on how i would introduce soobin’s character and how he would be involved, so im happy to hear that my work paid off ! and imagery was something that i learned was very important while writing oyd; it really makes or breaks a scene, imo. Especially in those final cabin scenes,,, AGH idk im so giddy to have it pointed out tho bc i do put a little extra love and effort into my imagery :3
AWWWWSLDKGHH UGH YOU’RE JUST. im gonna sob. The best fic.. dont say that to me im crazy 😭😭 but aggggh it makes me feel so appreciated and seen to read that you think it’s well planned like :(( i remember how much effort i put into that fic omg… that story is my baby im afraid
Again, thank you so much for taking the time to write such a sweet review, and im sorry i couldn’t respond to it sooner 😭 comments like these are sooo motivating and validating, i seriously can’t explain how happy it makes me <333
#this is the slowest ask responder i know#they get down#they dont play#fic: only you darling#rambles#koqabear asks
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To Feel Again [M]
Genre: light angst, romance
Warnings[!]: smut, penetration, creampie, unprotected sex, mentions of adult toys
Pairing: Doyoung x Reader
Words: 4.4k / One-shot
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Valentine's Day: the day of roses and hearts and chocolates and romantic candlelit dinners. When people proposed marriage and professed undying love.
You sighed, staring unseeing into your bowl of cornflakes as they succumbed to their milky grave and turned to soggy goop. Funny how a date on a calendar could open the pit of despair that lived somewhere near your stomach. It had to be near your stomach. You've been reasonably hungry until you've noticed the date and the pit opened. Your hunger had fallen into it, and the memories and pain rose out of it.
There was a time when this day had been wonderful. Life had been wonderful, you didn't need Valentine's Day, but you celebrated it with reverence and, sometimes, wild abandon.
You knew what love was, what it felt like to love a man and how it felt to lose him. You remembered what he'd said that last morning, how he'd kissed you; how the sun had lit his face as he smiled, promising he'd be back. You also remembered the police, how the sun seemed to dim as they told you the phrases out of courtesy. They were sorry for your loss. They will let you know of details as soon as the investigation on the accident comes to an end.
Since that time, Valentine's Day had passed unheralded, unheeded and uncelebrated. You knew you were a joke of the office - entering thirties soon and never been fucked, that's what they said. The borning woman who had no idea what fun was, wouldn't have known what to do with a man if by some miracle you did catch the attention of one. They were wrong, of course. Not that it was any of their business; it certainly didn't affect your ability to do your job.
If you chose to act and dress your age and spend your evenings quietly, rather than as mutton dressed as lamb in some gaudy nightclub, surely that was your right?
You sighed again, getting up from the table, taking your cereal bowl and dumping the gloop down the sink. A bleak day of petty jibes and pitying looks lay ahead. At least you knew what to expect this year.
Last year had been your first Valentine's Day with this particular company and, therefore, your first with this particular bunch of malicious people - your fellow employees. As front counter receptionist, you were the company's first "public face" and some of your co-workers had decided it didn't look good if that face wasn't surrounded by gifts from admirers on this day.
When the first bunch of anonymous flowers had arrived, you've been flustered, flattered and flabbergasted that anyone would send you flowers. You had hurriedly cleared a space on the counter for them, proudly displaying them, fussing with them to show them off at their best and make them visible from the greatest distance. You kept touching them, moving them slightly, reaffirming they were really there. Your heart sang; someone had noticed you. Maybe he was too shy to reveal himself; maybe he was married and couldn't: your mind was alive with questions, trying to solve the mystery of their origin. You were all in all happy.
Then a large box of chocolates arrived, closely followed by more flowers. By lunchtime, these had been joined by a little plush cherub, two red plush love hearts, a pair of earrings, three more bunches of flowers, four assorted boxes of chocolates and a large jar of candy hearts. They all carried the same anonymous message. And you knew then and there what is the catch behind this.
By the end of the day there were nine flower arrangements, ten boxes of chocolates, three cherubs, the two red love hearts, three teddy bears, two jars of candy, the earrings and a gift box containing four pairs of edible undies. Just before the close of business the final humiliation came - a fantastically wrapped see through box containing an inflatable male doll with vibrating tongue, a massive purple vibrating dildo and a copy of the Sex for The Beginners book.
You had to stay at your post until the last visitor or client left. But the rest of the staff was already heading out of the building. Some boggled at your desk, some snickered, a couple made loud crass comments and a very few had appeared horrified at the pile of stuff surrounding yourself. The building had almost emptied before that last visitor departed. You were sure that, too, was a set-up, particularly when you saw it was the client that had been visiting quite frequently lately.
Myungsoo ushered the man to the street and turned back to you as you gathered your coat and handbag, ready to escape.
"Gee, you're a popular girl. Who would have thought?" He reached your counter and began collecting up the flowers, grinning madly. "Let me help you with all that."
Before you could say a word, he bundled all the flowers, chocolates and assorted other items into your arms. You could barely see where you were going. Myungsoo put his arm around your back and shepherded you out the door, peeking at the vibrator in its transparent box. "There you go, sweetheart. Looks like you're definitely gonna get some action tonight." He turned smartly away, laughing as he rapidly put distance between the two of you.
You obviously had thrown the whole lot in the nearest dumpster and hurried to the relative sanctuary of your car before breaking down and sobbing, burying your head in your hands to hide from prying eyes of curious passer-bys.
Standing at your kitchen sink, you wondered what they'd pull this year. It couldn't be worse, could it? You sighed again and then abruptly shook your head, standing straighter. To hell with it - you were not going to let them get to you today.
It had already begun when you arrived. A bouquet of irises sat at the front of the counter. You were tempted to throw them straight in the garbage, but decided they were too pretty, too unusual. So they stayed. Curiosity got the better of you as you looked at the card, expecting it to say something sappy and insincere, as last year's cards had.
"You are worth far more than they will ever realise. Hear the flowers."
You pondered the card. Hear the flowers?
What on earth did that mean? You raised an eyebrow as you settled into your post: at least it seemed this year would be more intriguing than last. During quiet moments throughout the morning, you'd pick up the card, reread the cryptic message and study the beautiful bouquet, but its secret was never revealed.
No gifts arrived for you, no more flowers. You were relieved, but it only served to deepen the mystery of the flowers. As your lunch hour approached, other staff began filtering out of their offices to take a break. They all noticed the irises. Several of the women stopped and commented on their beauty. No one laughed.
As always, you left the building for lunch. You would usually grab a sandwich somewhere and do a bit of window shopping. Anything to get away for an hour - if you stayed in the office, someone always "needed" you for something.
When you returned, a neatly typed page was on your desk: "The meaning of flowers". One line was highlighted in blue: "Iris: Have Faith. Don't Give Up On Hope." A single purple violet was pinned to the page. You scanned the page to find "Violet (Purple): You occupy my thoughts". You put the page to one side, but still in view, unsure whether to laugh at it and throw it along with the flowers away before the punch line or wait it out. This was definitely a far more sophisticated assault than last year.
Throughout the afternoon a steady procession of couriers arrived, carrying flowers and gifts. You nervously watched each one approach your counter, only to breathe a sigh of relief as the teddy bears and hearts, the chocolates and flowers were all destined for other souls.
At 4:30PM a man approached your station: nothing unusual in that; everyone that came to see someone had to check in with you. What was unusual was that he actually saw you as a fellow human, not a robot programmed to take names and give directions. He smiled at you, a real smile that reached his eyes and warmed your heart. Something familiar in his eyes...
"Good afternoon. My name is Kim Doyoung. I have an appointment to speak to Choi Myungsoo. Would you mind letting him know I am here, please?"
Quickly, you dialled Myungsoo's extension, giving him the information. Myungsoo, as usual was brusque to the point of rude, telling you to "entertain the idiot 'till I'm ready for him - he's not supposed to be here for another 15 minutes".
You were tempted to tell the polite gentleman exactly what Myungsoo had said, but instead used your tact and diplomacy (that was why you were hired after all) to tell him that "Mr. Choi is a little delayed. He will be available in a few minutes."
With that being said, you offered him a seat.
Again he smiled. "Those are beautiful flowers," he said, nodding towards the iris bouquet. "A discerning choice for a lovely lady."
You lowered your eyes, feeling the heat rise in your face, knowing you were blushing.
His voice softened and became much quieter. "You don't remember me, do you?" Your eyes flew to his face, confused. Were you supposed to know this charming man?
"I had an appointment here at the same time, on this day last year. I was waiting outside for a taxi when you left. That was uncalled for, the whole situation that happened - mean and heartless and exactly what I would expect of Myungsoo and his friends. I deal with them only because I must. They offer a service unparalleled in this town."
He leaned across the counter, his voice so low only you could hear. "How they manage it, I cannot tell. They are pig swill and don't know a pearl when confronted with one." Doyoung paused, seeming to weigh up his next statement, then leaned closer to you. "Did you hear the flowers?"
Your eyes again flew to his face, your mouth falling open a little. "You sent them?"
"I did. And the violet. I had hoped to counter whatever crass display they had planned this year. Would you possibly consider spending the evening with me?" His face was eager, hopeful. "A nice dinner?"
You were stunned, flattered, amazed - but also wary. This was Myungsoo's client. He could easily have been put up to this. You studied his face closely, seeking any hint of a lurking cad. His face fell. "But, of course, you have other plans. I apologise for embarrassing you." He moved away and sat, abashed, on one of the hideous lounge chairs to await his appointment.
You studied this man. He didn't seem to fit the mould of Myungsoo's usual cohorts. For one thing he was unerringly polite. He was also good looking, very, very good looking, without being outstanding or flashy. He was also much closer to your age than Myungsoo's and had an air of quiet confidence, like he had nothing to prove to anyone and nothing to fear from them either. You looked at the flowers. Could Myungsoo have possibly thought of something this elegant? You didn't think so. You took a deep breath: to hell with it.
"Mr. Kim?" He looked up. "What time would you like to pick me up?"
In your bedroom, staring at the clothes hanging limply in your closet, the cool bravado that had claimed you as you agreed to the date vanished. In its place indecision, doubt and outright terror took hold. It seemed painfully obvious to you now, away from the office and that lovely man, that it was all another twisted joke, something for the office beautiful people to laugh at during tomorrow's coffee breaks. Why did you say yes? Your wardrobe was woefully inadequate. It was years since you'd been out with a man; you were bound to make a fool of yourself, even if it wasn't a set-up.
At that thought your heart jumped and lurched. The possibility that Mr. Kim - no, Doyoung; this was a date not a business appointment - was sincere in his wish to take you out only heightened your confusion and indecision.
Finally, in desperation and the realisation that if you didn't decide soon, you'd still be in your underwear when he arrived; you chose a chanel-knee length cremé skirt and baby pink cashmere sweater, topped off with knee length boots. The heels were quite high, but you remembered him being tall, so that wouldn't be an issue, as long as you didn't fall over in them.
You were saved from an overcritical examination in the mirror. You had just completed applying your makeup when Doyoung arrived. You grabbed your coat and quickly walked out the door, before you had time to rethink and back out.
"You look lovely," Doyoung said, smiling down at you. Feeling the heat creeping up your cheeks; you weren't used to receiving compliments, particularly from someone like him. You mumbled a shy thanks as he helped you put on your coat and led you to his car.
Sitting in the car as he drove, you were able to study the mysterious man that is Kim Doyoung. He was extremely handsome, not in the classical sense, but he certainly was far from a plain looking man - a man at peace with himself. He knew who he was and was content with that; he knew what he wanted and how to get it; and what was beyond his capabilities and lost no sleep over it. He obviously managed quite well; his car was expensive but not too flashy.
The restaurant he took you too was a quiet small place, away from the standard eat-and-entertain strip. It was intimate without claustrophobia; the decor was elegant without being overbearing; the lighting low but not dim; the service attentive without being intrusive. The food you could not describe - later, you barely remembered what you had eaten beyond it being "nice" - your attention was totally taken by Doyoung.
He was gallant and charming; helping you with your coat and holding your chair for you at the intimate table for two tucked away in a corner. Doyoung quietly suggested items on the menu he thought you might like. It was obvious he'd been here before, was a regular, but usually without company. His choice of wine was perfect to go with the excellent food as you enjoyed each other's company.
And you talked.
You learned a lot about him. Doyoung was 34, older than you had thought; he had been engaged, but his fiancé decided to break off the engagement for simply falling out of love. He had had a series of short term relationships that had petered out and, for the past several years, had lived a solitary life, rarely going out with women. He didn't work as such; his livelihood came from investments, which explained him being a client of the company you worked in. Myungsoo may be a jerk, but he was the one of the best investment brokers around.
He had been attracted to you the first time he met you, a year ago, but had been intimidated by the evidence of all your admirers. When he realised it was all a cruel joke played by his adviser and the other brokers, he was mortified. He had seriously considered changing brokers, going to another organisation but that would have meant he had no chance of meeting you again. So he stayed. He had been in your office on three occasions since then, and each time had seen your quiet, unflappable charm and how your talent and lovely nature were either ignored or taken for granted by those around you. He was determined to gain your attention, but without the office cricus freaks being able to use it against you, hence the mystery flower delivery this morning.
You found yourself opening up to Doyoung. He seemed sincerely interested in hearing what you had to say, hanging on your every word. It was a liberating and wonderfully powerful feeling. You weren't used to being the centre of anyone's attention. You told him of your pride at the independence since the loss of your lover, all those years ago. You were happy in your little home, content with your work, rarely coming to the attention of the office jokers.
It was over coffee that you admitted to Doyoung something you haven't admitted to yourself: your life was lonely and you missed the affection of another person. You missed the companionship of sharing your life with someone.
Immediately after the words had left your lips you regretted them. You have given away too much of yourself, been too forward. You lowered your eyes, not wanting to see the closed expression you knew would be on his face, so you didn't see the fleeting look of pain, quickly followed by understanding and hope.
However, you did feel his hand close over yours and squeeze lightly. You looked up into a face of gentle eyes and soft smile. "Would you like to take a walk with me," he said quietly. "I think it's time we leave - they want to close the restaurant anyway."
You looked around yourself noticing that you two were the only people other than staff left in the restaurant, and many of the lights were dimmed. You gasped in wonder - you had no idea you've been there so long. "Yes, a walk would be lovely."
Doyoung ushered you along the street and across a small, neat park to a promenade along the riverbank. It was enough lit to feel safe and you walked along arm in arm. You felt his arm snake around your waist hugging you closer to him, and you snuggled against him, your arm around his back. The moon was up, the stars were out and the night was peaceful and clear.
Your heart was singing and your eyes sparkled. You've been right to take this gamble. He was sincere, and it was wonderful. But the night was late, and it was rather cold.
You shivered. Doyoung felt it immediately and turned off the promenade proposing to head back toward the street where he had left the car. "I'd better take you home. It wouldn't be much of a date if you ended up ill."
At your door, Doyoung formally thanked you for a lovely evening and asked if he could see you again. You smiled and surprised yourself only a little by reaching up and kissing him lightly on the lips before saying: "Would you like to come in for a nightcap?"
Doyoung blinked, looking mildly bemused for a moment before studying your face. "Are you sure?"
Oh, most definitely, you were sure. You have thought of nothing else since you two have left the river. He looked right, he felt right, and he smelt right. You wanted him but was sure he'd never make a move. He was too much of a gentleman to ever force the issue.
You took his hand and led him into your home, kicking the door closed with your foot, shutting out the rest of the world with its mean people and ugly attitudes. You reached up to kiss him again. This time he lowered his head to yours, cradling your face in his hands as he returned the kiss. The lips met and parted, allowing the tongues to join and caress each other. His hands moved down from your face to caress your body, yours moving up from his hips. Both of you parted, searching each other's faces for confirmation of your desires.
"I think we're on the same page," you said. "Why don't you leave your coat on the couch? Do you want the nightcap now, or after the tour?"
"I'll put a hold on the nightcap," Doyoung answered, reading the desire in your eyes and knowing it was mirrored in his while stripping off the coat.
"Right."
You took his hand again. "This is the lounge. There," you pointed to the right, "is the kitchen and dining room. This way," pulling him down the hall, "is the second bedroom, the bathroom and," dragging him through a doorway, "here is the main bedroom."
"Very nice," he said, looking around, trying not to focus on the bed.
Suddenly shy, you both looked at anything but each other, awkward in a lack of intimate knowledge of each other. Doyoung tentatively reached out a hand to you, aiming to caress your breast, veering off at the last moment to your shoulder, but still lightly brushing your breast with his fingertips. Your gasped breath emboldened him and he reached his other hand, caressing your other breast lightly as you shivered under his touch and sighed.
Your own hands went to his chest, running down the front of his shirt and back up, then beginning to undo the buttons, pulling the shirt from his trousers and teasing his bare skin with your fingers.
Doyoung pulled his shirt off and then raised the sweater over your head and off the arms, moving in to kiss you as his hands went around your back to undo the clasps of a bra and returned to cup your breasts. The sensation on your breasts as he caressed and pinched the nipples sent a sharp message straight between your legs. You could feel yourself becoming moist and shuddered under his touch; breath becoming uneven.
Pushing him away you removed the skirt, letting it pool at your feet while looking into his eyes. Doyoung took the hint and began unbuckling his belt, then grinned foolishly and sat beside you to take off his socks, sneaking kisses of your neck and shoulders as he did so. You both stood again, slightly apart. He dropped his trousers and you could see his briefs pushed out of shape by his erection, the fabric straining.
Doyoung stepped up, taking you in his arms, kissing down your neck and across the collarbone, his hands lowering to your hips, sliding under the elastic and beginning to tug your panties down. Your own hands flew to the top of his briefs. Together, you pulled down the underwear, stepping out of them and standing naked before each other. Again Doyoung moved first, holding you and gently pushing backwards onto the bed, following after you onto it.
He ran one hand down the body of yours, teasing and tickling the beginning of your womanhood and beyond, teasing you with his fingers, tickling across your mound and easing around your damp centre. You moaned as he explored, your hips twisting and twitching. It had been so long since another man had touched you there. It felt amazing, wonderful, but achingly short of what you needed. You could feel his hardness against your thigh. Reaching down, you took his cock into your hand. It was hot, hard and pulsed under your touch. Doyoung groaned and his hips jerked convulsively. You kissed him hard and whispered fiercely, "Please, it's been too long. I need you, now."
"For me too, far too long," Doyoung gasped back, rolling you onto your back and positioning himself before gently splitting your lips and sliding steadily but firmly into you. Your moans were prominent in the air as he stretched and filled you right, not stopping his steady thrust until he was wholly inside you, your warm walls gripping him tightly. Your eyes met and locked as you lay still, immersed in the feeling of each other's body.
Being warm, wet and a safe haven, you were engulfing his cock. Doyoung was filling you with his hard heat, owning your body completely. You fit each other perfectly; you could see it in each other's eyes. You belonged together.
As great as this feeling was, you needed more. Doyoung slowly withdrew, till only the very tip split you. Both groaning as he pushed back in, again slowly feeling each other with delectable inch. Slowly in and out, in and out, revelling in the feeling of each other's bodies, gradually building up speed as your need increased.
You could feel the fire building, the tension increasing as sensation on sensation smashed into you with each thrust, your body twitching, your hips writhing. Still it built; higher, tighter, fiercer. Your entire being was wrapped around Doyoung's cock as it pumped in and out of you. You could hear him grunting with each thrust, feel his body trembling as he got closer to his climax. His speed increased and you breath got caught in your throat, your back arched, legs went stiff as you began to twitch when the white light exploded through you, spreading warmth and scattering your senses.
You felt, from far away but deep within you, Doyoung losing his rhythm before coming, pumping wildly into you, grunting and thrusting hard one last time as he shot deep inside you feeling spent but overly fulfilled.
Your hand was making lazy circles on Doyoung's chest as you lay, curled against his side with a head on his shoulder. You weren't sure how you've come to be in this position, but it felt so right and he smelled so good.
You were at peace while drifting off to sleep.
Waking up without feeling body by your side, you immediately felt the loss. Doyoung wasn't there. Your heart dropped, the pit near your stomach threatened to open and engulf it. Sensing the tears coming up, you accidentally feel something on your side with a hand.
He wasn't there. But there was a note.
"I am so sorry. I hate to leave you, knowing you will wake alone. There is something I must do."
You had just finished reading when the phone rang, disturbing your thoughts. Grudgingly, you moved to answer it. "Hello."
"Wish I was still beside you."
Your heart flipped again. The pit dissolved so you could breathe again before whispering, "Doyoung."
"Y/N. Tell me, what are you planning for breakfast?"
"Uhm. Coffee? Maybe some toast. Why?"
"Don't move. I'm on my way. With breakfast. And it's better than toast."
You lay back in bed, listening to the dial tone after he hung up. Surprised, you smile softly. You must remember to thank Myungsoo for introducing them.
If this is how you will feel loved and feel free to love again, you have no complaints.
Your new chapter is about to begin and hopefully, it will last for a very long time with a man named Kim Doyoung.
#one shot#nct smut#nct scenarios#nct fanfiction#doyoung#kim doyoung#doyoung x reader#doyoung scenarios#doyoung fanfic#doyoung smut#romance#nct romance#nct angst#nct 127#nct u#nct 127 scenarios#nct 127 fanfic
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Art of Aardman
I found myself a cheap copy of the Shaun the Sheep movie, so I was rewatching a bunch of Aardman films earlier this month and decided to hunt down some books too. For anyone that doesn’t know, Aardman is a British stop-motion studio that does fantastic work like Wallace and Gromit, Shaun the Sheep, Chicken Run, Early Man… tons of cool stuff. They’re always quirky and funny and warm-hearted. This was just a very nice art book for anyone that’s a fan of Aardman stop motion and wants to see a bit extra; it shows some cool concept art and blows up the neat details in Aardman work, especially in their intricate stuff like The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists!
Asterix and the Picts (Asterix and the Chariot Race, and How Obelix Fell Into The Magic Potion)
I decided to try a couple of the new Asterix comics that were done by the new team, just to see if they stand up to the old ones (that and How Obelix Fell Into The Magic Potion cause I’d never read that one before). They were pretty decent! Asterix and the Picts was my favourite of the two though I wouldn’t say either are going to contest for my favourite Asterix comic... but still! The art looks good and the stories felt like what I would expect, they made for a pleasant couple evenings of reading especially since it’s been so long since I’ve read a new Asterix comic. If you’ve never read Asterix it’s one of the biggest name French comic series in North America, as far as I know and very worth the read. It’s about a single Gaulish village that’s holding out against the invading Romans through sheer force of will, slapstick hijinks, and a magical super-strength potion brewed by their druid. Lots of fantastic visuals and cute wordplay, even in the English translations.
Bear
I found out about this bastion of Canadian literature via tumblr post that was losing its collective mind over the fact that some bizarre bear-based erotica novella somehow won the most prestigious literary prize available in Canada. Since I too found this hilarious and unspeakably bizarre I had to give it a read, obviously. And yes, the flat surface level summary is... a librarian moves out into rural Ontario and falls in love with a literal for-real not-supernatural-not-a-joke bear. And I have to say… it is actually worthy of an award, which I was not expecting given that I was there for a laugh. It has beautiful writing, and the subtextual story is pretty interesting… it kind of makes me think of The Haunting of Hill House actually in terms of themes. (Womanhood, personhood, independence, autonomy partially achieved through escaping the male gaze by claiming non-human lovers... listen if I were still in university I would right a paper comparing the two novels).
I dunno man, it’s fucking weird. Actually a well-written book, but sure is about a woman falling in love with a literal bear. Give it a read if you want something bonkers but like… high-brow bonkers.
Hunger Pangs: True Love Bites
Best book I have read in like… a while. A long while. I am not a fast reader, and I consumed 90% of this book over a weekend. It’s not at all like Terry Pratchett, but at the same time it scratched an itch for me that I haven’t had satisfied since Pratchett’s death. A very clever, hilariously funny poly romance between a disabled werewolf, an anxious vampire lord, and an incredibly powerful woman, with heaps of social satire, political commentary, and sinister undertones. The whole thing reads a bit like fanfiction and I say that in the most flattering way possible -- it is so easy to jump right in and be immediately taken over by the characters and the world and the plot, you never feel like you’re fighting to engage even though the world-building is fascinating and expansive. It welcomes you in right away, it was the book equivalent of a quilt and a hug which is something I sorely needed with all this pandemic bullshit. If you read any of the books on this list, go read that one while I sit here in pain waiting for the sequel.
Kid Paddle
I watched the cartoon of Kid Paddle as a kid and was thinking about it recently, so I decided to hunt down some of the original comics online. They’re fun and weird, with a cute art style and fantastic monsters designs. (My favourites are always about Kid either daydreaming or playing games that involve Midam’s weird warty troll creatures. It’s like a cross between Calvin and Hobbes and Foxtrot with the fun sort of quirks that I love in Belgian comics. Unfortunately, unlike Asterix, I’ve only come across these ones in French, but if you can read French it’s totally worth popping over to The Internet Archive and reading the ones they have available.
The Last Firehawk: The Golden Temple
The lastest Firehawk book. Despite being written for quite young readers, I did enjoy the early books in this series quite a bit. They’re about a young owl and squirrel who found an egg for a magical species that was believed to be extinct. With the newly hatched firehawk, the three of them head off on a mission to find an ancient firehawk magic that could save the entire forest. Very basic adventure story but a good intro to the tropes for children. Unfortunately the quality really feels like it drops with each subsequent book; this will probably be the last one I bother reading.
Lumberjanes: The Moon Is Up
I honestly think I enjoy these Lumberjanes novels even more than the comics just because it really gives time to delve into each story and examine how the camper are really thinking and feeling about everything. (Also I’m always weak for novelizations of anything.) The Moon Is Up is a book that focuses more on Jo, and takes place during the camp’s much anticipated Galaxy Wars, a competition between cabins that goes over several days. While the campers prepare for these challenges though, they also run into a strange little creature with a penchant for cheese and theft. Roanoke cabin needs to keep ahead in Galaxy Wars and somehow deal with the fearsome Moon Pirates that a closing in...
Lumberjanes v4 (Out Of Time)
One of the Lumberjanes comics, a cool, girl-focused, queer comic series. Honestly, this is just a fun series that I never got as into as I should have. My advice is honestly to skip book one because it gets better as it continues, and I’ve really been enjoying the later books now that I’ve given it another go. It follows five campers at Miss Qiunzella Thiskwin Penniquiqul Thistle Crumpet’s Camp for Hardcore Lady Types (Jo, April, Molly, Mal, and Ripley) as they handle all sorts of challenges, from friendship to crushes, camp activities to supernatural horrors, getting badges to not being brutally killed. Great if you liked the vibe of Gravity Falls but want it to be queer-er.
Mooncakes
Another queer graphic novel, but unfortunately not a very good one. It really looked appealing and I had high hopes, but the book itself really didn’t hold up… I actually couldn’t even finish it, the plot was just too… non-existent. The art is fairly mediocre once you actually look at it, especially backgrounds, and it feels very… placid. Not much conflict or excitement or even a very compelling reason to keep reading. If you just want a soft queer supernatural you may get more mileage out of it than me, but it didn’t really do it for me. There’s better queer graphic novels out there.
New Boy In Town
One of the worst books I have ever read. My girlfriend had ordered a very different book online but through a frankly stupendous error was sent this 1980s pulp romance instead. Absolutely nauseating on levels I couldn’t even begin to enumerate here. Naturally we read the whole thing out loud. Probably took us 10 times longer to finish than it warranted because I had to stop every two sentences to lose my mind. If you like bad decisions, baffling hetero courting rituals, built-in cultural Christianity without actually calling it that, and gold panning then boy howdy is this the book for you.
(seriously, you better have patience for gold-panning if you attempt this one, because I sure learn that I don’t)
Piggies
This was a picture book I enjoyed as a kid and had a reason to reread recently. Honestly it’s just very cute and simple, and the art is completely mesmerizing. Wonderful if you know a young child that would enjoy a simple goofy boardbook.
Shaun the Sheep: Tales From Mossy Bottom
Related to my Aardman fascination earlier this month. I tried reading a varieties of Shaun the Sheep books — most of which are mediocre at best — but the Tales From Mossy Bottom Farm series is genuinely good. Just chapter books, of course, but the illustrations match the series’ concept art and each story feels like it could have jumped directly out of an episode. They’re just cute and feel-good! Kinda like Footrot Flats but more for kids, and from the sheep’s perspective moreso than the dog’s.
#aardman animation#shaun the sheep#lumberjanes#kid paddle#asterix#the last firehawk#hunger pangs: true love bites#marian engel#bear#canadian literature#canlit#queer lit#book review#book reviews#chatter
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Aaaaaa you!! You!!! I didn't know you have Tumblr so today I feels like checking your profile and lo and behold, you have a Tumblr. Let me just said, thank you! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for writing such a great FanFiction about Starscream. I first discovered "redeem the star" and it was so different, so meaningful, such a journey and wonderful feeling, it feels like a love letter to all the characters with a remarkable redemption both to Starscream and Megatron (To tell you I cried at their last moment and when he said "I hardly recognized you" this right here is where I gasped out loud and it may mark how different Starscream is, how far he has make it. The emotions there, it's so strong and uplifting) that I immediately jumped to "stop me" and.. I fall in love. I love love it so much, the characters, the writings, the everything. I reread it everytime I finished it!! ( I reread "redeem the star" too don't worry ) I read it from 2019 so yeah a bit late to the party but it was so good that even if I'm anticipating the update, I was never bore out from rereading from chapter one. I have lost count! Then you update and I was like oohh update!! Then I finished and I was like oh well, back to chapter 1 we go. Really, it was always the same appreciation for the feeling I will have. You know how people always said they wish to forget the first moment they read a book just to feel it again as they rereading it. Well I beg to differ, everytime I reread yours, it's a new emotions, a new journey, a new appreciation, I cherish all of it! And don't get me started on the relationship between Optimus and Starscream, you know how people always talk about finding an underlining of romance or something else when reading about how much two characters care for each other but yours I didn't see at all and that is refreshing! I want to read a story where two characters that feels deeply, and loves deeply but not having a romantic undertones. And to me you achieve it!! Theirs are just about growth, about trust, about having each other backs and just genuine, truthfully genuine, bond. I like wow, I have no words actually, I'm just bombing you with all my feelings here because really I am glad that I found you and was given this opportunity to read your works. You are amazing and your journey in writing are truly inspiring. Just so you know, I'm starting to rereading Stop Me again! 🤭
Oh my gosh! Thank you for all the love and support! I’m always so flattered when someone tells me my work is worth reading over and over- writing is one of my many passions and I’m so glad you and others enjoy what I create so much!
I accept all forms of feelings sent my way whether they are sent in increments or feeling-bombs! Thank you for messaging me, I appreciate it so very much!
#starscream#transformers prime#tfp stop me#fanfic stop me#stop me asks#answered ask#fanfic redeem the stars#tfp redeem the stars
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Hi there! I have food for thought? Maybe?
Have you ever thought about how maybe the rate at which you update paychecks is actually a really immersive experience for your readers?
So, we're all here for Levi, shown throughout your story to like to take his time. He teased relentlessly, decides when reader comes (even if he's actually "teasing" because if he doesn't pull away then and there he's finished, lol), and eventually gives in and spoils her. Like, do you also see the parallels?? Who knows, maybe it's all intentional because you know what your readers like and what keeps them coming back for more, both in the story and in presentation??🤯
I've read your whole dang story thus far at least ten times trying to get any kind of relief, yet here I am still coming to check up on whether the new chapter is out on a near daily basis because in my mind I'm practically begging, like please please I have to know what happens next!!! If there's no new chapter then, oop, guess I'm reading it from the start again, because it's THAT good. And when I get there and a new chapter IS up, you never disappoint and it just feels super rewarding.
Basically, I love this story, I love your writing, you are super creative and amazing and we really appreciate that you're still adding to this story for us! Clearly your fans are into restraint and delayed gratification, so taking your time to update just makes it better. 😈😈
Anyway, I hope you have an excellent day and treat yourself to tasty food and your water cup is always full and you sleep really well. ❤️
🥺I wish I could tell you I was smart enough to think of all these things preemptively but alas I am not FBDJSJSJFJD but that ISSSSS very interesting to think about!!! I guess...the edge play....tag...has two meanings? fbdhdhdjdjdj
I'm very flattered that you've reread it like that ommmmlllll like I'm sincerely just 😭❤️ AHHH. Im always blown away by all the kind things ppl have said about this story especially lately since I haven't...updated and gjfjdjdjdjf it really does mean a lot to me even when I repeat myself 😭 like I truly never would've guessed anyone would read this thing let alone REREAD IT and yeah :(((
I am truly hoping the next chapter is worth such a long wait for ppl and I'm v grateful for how patient y'all have been, seriously. Like I know I'm shit posting and doing other things but paychecks is ALWAYS on the back of my mind (in a good way) so yeah fjfjdhddj I had a wonderful day and had one of the best food days actually ❤️ thank you so much for all the sweet words it means the absolute world to me and I can never express that enough I hope you're also having a great day ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
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Okay so I'm making my way through your masterlist and I'm in love?? Like let's start off with Winter's Child- a masterpiece. You make Sansa a loving and relatable character and interweave the powers into cannon in a way that actually makes cannon make more sense (preconceived biases and such). Jon and Sansa's relationship is SO SWEET and they way they bonded was absolutely adorable (and the backstory with the houses and the powers they have make so much sense) 1/3
(2/3) Neon Rain literally the best Cyberpunk AU! I've ever read. Like what you did with the world building?? The stark class differences (haha see what I did there?), the choices in SOUND, and I could FEEL myself there! I love the family dynamics between the Starks and I'm loving the little details you're dropping with the Greyjoy's , Jon's parentage, and all of the medical procedures. Jon is dramatic af and I love it and Sansa is a bamf AS SHE SHOULD. Nothing but love for this
(3/3) A Past Worth Having has a special place in my heart. You build up this setting like a tapestry, just seeing more richness and depth the longer you look. I'm proud of Sansa for holding her composure, just FEELING in the angst that the older Starks feel at her return, and loving the relationships with Robin and the rest of the Starks + Jon Arryn. The detail that you're putting into the investigation/Oberyn is awe inspiring and I can't wait to see what you do next with the trial + Jonsa
Haha thank you so much!!! This is such a sweet ask to get! My response is under a cut, because this might get kind of long! (lots of my own meta below, bc i accidentally had a lot to say, haha)
With ‘Winter’s Child’ I’ve really enjoyed weaving in fantasy elements to the world because I like to look at stories and pick at loose threads until they unravel and asking ‘what if?’. I thought it would be a super interesting concept to take a character like Sansa, who in ASOIAF is exactly what she is supposed to be as a noblewoman of her class and conforms very well in that role, and put her in a position where she was essentially a societal outcast in a lot of ways! In WC, Sansa has a lot of similar coping mechanisms to ASOIAF Sansa, in that she sort of romanticizes society to avoid thinking about how absolutely awful it is. In ASOIAF, Sansa holds tight to the notion of knights and chivalry and courtly love to cope with the fact that she essentially has no control over her future and, as a woman, is basically property. In WC, I have her really struggling to make herself into that perfect lady and using that as a sort of shield to the fact that, without a gift, there isn’t anything she can do to improve her lot in life. Sansa has these ideas about becoming a perfect lady and hoping that being perfect in other areas will ‘make up’ for what society perceives as deficient about her, but is more jaded than ASOIAF Sansa due to her age and her earlier exposure to the ills of society. So you get a Sansa who gets along better with Arya and Jon as a result, in part because she’s had that exposure to what it’s like to be an outcast in society. I think that the best fantasy has a really strong emotional backdrop (a really great example is ‘Fruits Basket’ which starts by hooking you with this wacky, fun premise about people in a family turning into animals when hugged by a member of the opposite sex, and slowly builds into a point where you can see that the family ‘curse’ is a representation of generational and familial abuse- of bonds that should be broken, and of bonds that may kill us even as we cling to them- it’s extremely complex and rich and if you haven’t read or watched it, I can’t recommend it highly enough), and so while I really love writing about the fantasy aspects, and writing scenes where Sansa does really cool things with her ice powers, the core of the story is really about Sansa coming into her own, and learning that she was a person who was worth something even without any sort of gift. Sort of overcoming societal stigma and realizing your worth and forcing others to see it. It’s so much fun to write, but i’m stuck at the moment, because i need to reread the books, and my roommate is borrowing them right now haha!
God, APWH is like, indulging my inner world-building suspense-narrative loving writer persona. It’s literally my all time favorite trope- which is of someone growing up to find out that they’re a long-lost somebody or have family they never knew about- combined with a lot of research on trauma (which i’ve been doing for academic and other reasons for a while) and a lot of slowly growing psychological horror courtesy of Petyr Baelish (trust me, it’s going to get WAY more intense). There are so many pieces of media that I love, but I think that GRRM has so many characters and such a well fleshed out world that it’s very fun to dive into his worlds and create something there. Inherently, I love a slowly unraveling mystery and morally gray characters, and this is allowing me to indulge in both!!! World-building is my favorite, because i tend to be fairly detail oriented, and i’ve been laying bread crumbs in so many places throughout the story to hopefully build up to a decent conclusion! I know sort of how it ends, and I think people are going to absolutely lose their minds if I execute it correctly. We have a few chapters to go until we get to anything in the semblance of a trial- there’s some more emotional aspects that I think need to get addressed first, and so I’m so grateful that people are so supportive of being willing to wait for the Jonsa, because they really start spending a lot of time with each other during the trial and prior to the trial (i’m a big believer in bonding via long car rides and so there’s a lot of that!). I’m just so humbled and awed by the response to it- I never dreamed that people would enjoy the story this much- when I started it, I was writing a light-hearted family piece that wouldn’t be too long, and, uh, it kind of evolved from there. Clearly, I am not good at keeping things concise haha.
I left Neon Rain for last, because your comments on this one really made me smile! Of all of my stories, oddly enough, Neon Rain is actually the most deeply personal for me, and I’m just so flattered at your kind words! I spend a lot of my time thinking about the flaws inherent in our society, and without getting too detailed, Sansa’s experience with a family member struggling in the medical system is not unfamiliar to me. There’s a weight that comes with the realization that a system that is supposed to care for people is based on capitalistic ideals of profit maximization, and as someone who has experience working in the healthcare system- no matter how bad you think it is in the US, I can promise you it’s actually worse.
Neon Rain actually just started out as a series of mental images from listening to music that I had to get down on paper, and evolved from there. I actually really love the ‘soulmates’ and ‘class differences’ and ‘mastermind art thief’ tropes, but am incapable of writing fun stories without thinking about the reality of those tropes (see APWH for another extreme example of this haha), and so as I was writing and trying to capture this mental image, the rest of the world began unfolding around me. Jon is different because of a different upbringing here, and so is Sansa, and to see the formerly idealistic Sansa become so jaded by the time she meets her soulmate is just catnip for me. You have this interesting dynamic between them, because Jon wants nothing more than to have Sansa in his life, and give her everything she wants and needs, but where the old Sansa (who was arguably middle-class and somewhat naive, as financially secure teenagers understandably tend to be) would have swooned over that, the Sansa who meets Jon when the story begins is seeing the world and all the unfair and unequal systems in it. She can’t just live happily ever after with him right away- there’s a sense of guilt there, of sansa not feeling like she deserves nice things, and there’s also Sansa’s deep sense of compassion and kindness that won’t allow her to just live life as the well taken-care-of girlfriend of a wealthy man, because she isn’t able to just put on blinders and pretend that all the injustice in the world around her doesn’t exist, simply because it wouldn’t affect her that way anymore.
I think that the core to writing Sansa, for me, in any universe, is that she is a kind and compassionate person who is capable of feeling sympathy towards even the people who have done horrific things to her and her family- that emotional awareness and empathy is a harsh thing to have in a world like Neon Rain, and in our own world, honestly. I’m so glad that you appreciate Sansa’s BAMF-ness in the story- I think that her chapters demonstrate that she is capable of doing extraordinary things when she’s doing them for people she cares for, to be kind (The scene where Alayne helps Robin down from the eyrie is most indicative of this I think), and so in this world, I just love having Sansa be a complete badass out of necessity. Also, it’s fanfiction, and I really wanted to give Sansa a cool motorcyle, because no one else was gonna do it!!!
Also, my characters like to run away with me, and before I knew it, Rodrik Greyjoy had a huge adorable crush on Sansa in the story that I immensely enjoy writing. The Greyjoys are fun because they’re all absolutely insane, and i’m a total sucker for ‘gruff dangerous character is completely a sucker for the kind sunshine-y character’ trope.
God, this accidentally got really long??? I’m sorry- thank you so much for such a kind ask!!! I love hearing what people think of my stories, and this was so sweet :)
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