#i am very deeply a selyse sympathizer

[tell-them-the-north-remembers]

Okay, I am here now.

I think one major aspect of Selyse's character is that she is a woman who has failed in this society. She fails womanhood, she fails wifehood, she fails motherhood and nobody ever shows her sympathy or understanding. Nobody ever says "You are not to fault." for the things she is blamed for.

Selyse's first failing of womanhood comes from her appearance, unlike most of the important female characters we see in the series (with the notable exception of Brienne) she is very explicitly described to be conventionally ugly. When she is described they describe her big ears, her stern mouth, her sharp nose and especially her moustache. Anytime she is brought up in conversation or in the thoughts of our POV characters they have to mention just how ugly she is and how if they were Stannis they wouldn't want to be near her either.

And Selyse's first failing goes in hand with her second. She fails at being a wife. People know she and Stannis don't sleep together often, even if they don't know the detail of once or twice a year. And the only person they ever criticize for it is Selyse, the ugly woman. What man would want to bed her anyway?

And her third failing only adds insult to the injury. She has no sons, it is already something to be blamed for as a woman in this society. But it also something that could be in part, forgiven if she had an adorable, pretty little daughter. Instead Shireen is hit with greyscale as an infant and has a permanent disfigurement in her face. So not only is Selyse an ugly woman and a bad wife who can't do her job and give her husband a son but the only child she has, a daughter, is ugly, like her. Stannis' misfit daughter and wife.

We do not get a POV of Selyse, we do not know her feelings. But I imagine when Stannis left for King's Landing for months on end she must have felt at least a bit self-conscious. If I was her I know as much I would know my husband has to leave for duty, a part of me would still think that the reason he doesn't want me and our daughter to come with him is because he is ashamed of me, ashamed of us. And I cannot imagine that is a pleasant feeling for a woman to experience. Especially one in a society where her worth so explicitly connected to her husband. She is estranged, on Dragonstone of all places, somewhere she feels no sense of belonging to. Stannis just... leaves her.

And the thing is that unlike for example, Brienne who fails womanhood but has the choice of existing out of the idea of ideal feminity (though it is not much of a choice but a thing life has pushed her into because of the way she looks and it does have tremendous effect on her life which I will not talk about here because it is not a Brienne post) Selyse does not have the luxury to try and exist out of the ideal of womanhood. Instead especially now, as the Queen she is supposed to embody the ideal of womanhood in Westeros. She is trapped in the confines of a role she can't possibly serve. It only makes sense that she is bitter. When you do everything in your power and it is still not nearly enough you grow frustrated, you grow bitter.

And not to mention the whole thing with Melisandre, someone who is kind to her. From what we have seen Selyse doesn't have that most of the time. The people talking about her all come from a place of judgement or mockery so finding a genuine friend must have been thrilling for her. But guess what, that friend is sleeping with her husband (who refuses to sleep with her, his own wife) and will most likely sacrifice her daughter to the Lord of Light.

Because Selyse can't have anything nice. Those are for pretty girls with pretty children and caring husbands. Not for the ugly woman with a deformed daughter and a husband who can't stand her presence.

hello are there any selyse appreciators

i think she's interesting but i feel like i don't really understand her so please i would like a selyse appreciator to rant at me about how great she is