#i am trying so frickin hard and failing miserably

[eldenturtle]

My husband is playing Jedi survivor and I’m sitting doing nothing but drinking coffee, so here are some thoughts I have about characters in Elden Ring, and other stuff (Feel free to correct me if I’m wrong):

I feel like in a lot of ways, I respect the bosses when I’m fighting them or even when they’re dead bc they did put up such a challenge and you have to really learn them and their moves. Now this doesn’t make me not have “STUPID FRICKIN BOSS HE’S SO STUPID THATS BROKEN UGH I HATE THIS” moments, but like even Margitt who drove me insane, I kinda respect.

I feel for Godrick because in his family (and in the game) he’s so bad and weak (not that he isn’t hard to beat, but come on, in comparison?). And you can even tell he’s done the grafting to gain more power and try to be stronger. When he kills you in his second form he asks if Godfrey is watching, which I think points to his desperation to be recognized among the demigods as an equal to the others. He blows chunks, but I just kinda feel for him

Rennala was the most confusing to me absolutely bc she’s so chill kinda?? But then you learn she’s been abandoned and now here she is, and suddenly things make a bit more sense. And all she really wants to be is a mother. I got to her and I was so confused, but I get it. She’s not like, evil. She’s just messed up.

Radhan makes me sad (although I was fussing and hitting pillows bc he kept killing me dead). Because he was this great and powerful guy and now he’s just cursed and miserable?? He used to be kinda a hero and now he roams and eats like a beast and can’t remember himself. I feel like this is such a horrible way to be, I almost think he’d be relieved to be killed if his spirit can go back to normal once his physical body is dead. Idk how any of that works.

I also get emotional about it bc I have grandparents who have suffered from Parkinson’s and they forget themselves and the world around them. My grandma thinks I’m my mom. Or she doesn’t recognize me at all. She calls the nurses at her nursing home useless and yells at them for trying to help her. She breaks into other people’s rooms and doesn’t register what she’s doing wrong. She wasn’t always a nice lady, but she didn’t used to be like this. This is different. My grandfather (on the other side) loved his wife and was faithful to her his entire life. When his mind started failing, he started flirting with other women and grabbing women’s behinds (something he’d have been mortified to know had he been cognizant.)

The loss of self is a kind of recurring thing that really is getting to me. Hits me in my emotions in all the ways. I want to kill Radahn, if only to give him relief. I want to become Elden Lord just to restore the life of the world. When the Shattering happened, the realm and all its inhabitants lost themselves. I really am into it.

[landolewis]

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[cole-grey-writes]

Kiss Me Better

Universe: Marvel Cinematic Universe

Timeline: Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Character(s): Sam Wilson

Pairing(s): Sam Wilson x Male Reader

Warning(s): swearing, completely inaccurate medical procedures because im not a doctor and 16 y/o

Summary: You were injured on a mission and in order to stave off infection, you have to get a shot...

OLD A/n from over a month ago: I got shots at the doctors probably a week ago (and I'm just now finishing this because frickin executive dysfunction kicked my ass). I don't have a bf/gf in real life to kiss me better, but I can always pretend with fanfiction. Enjoy

NEW A/n from right now: shit it’s been a long time huh? yeah, this was supposed to be uploaded over a month ago but for some reason I just... didn’t put it up. Idk, I think I was going through some shit so I wasn’t interested in anything at all and I was super unmotivated. Anyway, I finally got it up. Hope you all enjoy :)

“Sam!” you say his name with joy. The pain coursing through out your body isn’t enough to keep you from throwing your arms around your boyfriend as soon as he’s close enough to where you sit on the plain white bed in the SHIELD medbay.

You wrap your arms around him and squeeze as hard as you can without causing pain to shoot up your arms from your injuries. Sam returns the favor and hugs you close to his chest. You can’t help but wince when he unknowingly presses into a large bruise stretching across your stomach, but you don’t want the hug to end so you try to hide it. Sam obviously sees right through you and let’s go, although he doesn’t stop touching you. Sam’s hands rest on your arms gently, trying not to press on the bruises and cuts that are covered in bandages.

“Don’t ‘Sam’ me. You are an absolute moron,” Sam tells you, pointing a finger. Your mouth falls open in offense and try to say something but he interrupts you. “Did you think jumping in the line of fire was really your only option?”

“...Well, it seemed like the only option at the time.”

“Jesus,” Sam swears. “You are just as bad as Steve.”

“I am not nearly–”

“Don’t you dare try to deny it,” he tells you. He reaches up with his hand and shuts your mouth for you. “You know it's true,” Sam says it without judgement, like he knows how much people’s lives mean to you.

“Agent L/n,” SHIELD Doctor Vivienne Becker is suddenly standing next to you. She addresses you with a comfort as if talking with an old friend. Or maybe with exasperation of talking to an annoying younger sibling.

“Vivienne,” you greet back with a much lighter tone than her. “It’s nice to see you again.”

“I wish I could say the same,” Dr. Becker says, “but you're covered in contusions, lacerations, and just had two bullets removed from your femur and scapula.”

You tense when you feel Sam shift next to you, feeling his gaze on the side of your face. You aren’t even looking at him and you just know that his eyebrows are raised in scorn. “Oh, so you were shot, too?”

“Uh.”

“Fortunately, there was no damage done to any vital organs or major arteries.”

“Well, at least that,” Sam mumbles.

“However,” Dr. Becker interrupts pointedly, “there was foreign residues found on the bullets that were designed to attract special bacteria.”

You sigh. “And now it’s in my blood.”

“Correct and we’ve figured out how to neutralize the effects, but…”

“‘But’?” you wonder, whining. “‘But’? No, why ‘but’, Vivienne?”

“But,” Dr. Becker continues, “the treatment is in the form of a syringe.”

You suddenly sit up straight. “A shot?!” you scream, eyes going wide.

“A shot?” Sam wonders completely cluelessly. “What’s wrong with a shot?”

“It is one shot and it will be injected into your right shoulder,” Dr. Becker informs you before walking away to let you wallow in self pity.

You groan and throw your head back because fucking goddamn it, this would be your luck. A shot right when you get back off the field.

“What’s wrong with a shot?” Sam wonders again. You sigh heavily and took at Sam with your eyebrows raised. He looks at you blankly for a few seconds before he breaks out into a smile. Sam aws at you, causing you to purse your lips. “Are you afraid of shots, baby?”

You click your tongue and say, “Sam,” while growing more annoyed with his sugar sweet smile.

You ignore him (whether it’s because you love him or because you have no idea how to respond to his question, you don’t know), deciding instead to work out some stress by looking at anything other than the needles that seemed to be everywhere you look now.

Sam actually has to reach over and stop you from wringing your hands dry. “Come one now, baby,” he untangles your hands and intertwines one of yours with his. You aren’t able to help just melting under his smooth and caring voice. “It’s just one shot, it won’t be that bad.”

You hum doubtfully, squinting your eyes at him but squeeze his hand harder. “I hate shots,” Sam nods understandingly. “Shots suck. Shots can go fuck–”

You don’t get a chance to finish your rant because Dr. Becker walks back over to you and wonders, “Are you ready?”

Taking a deep breath and releasing it, you squeeze Sam’s hand to reassure yourself. “I suppose,” Dr. Becker doesn’t say anything, turning to grab the syringe. You bite your lip to steal yourself.

“Hey,” Sam says softly. You look at him and he shows you your interlocked hands. “Here, you can squeeze my hand to help you through it.”

“You sure?” You crack a smile, feigning hesitation. “I might break your hand.”

Sam hums dismissively. “I’m sure I can bear it.”

Dr. Becker turns back to you with a syringe in her hand. You tense at the sight of it but Sam moves closer, the warmth of Sam’s body on your leg enough for you to let go of your lip.

Dr. Becker pinches your arm and starts to inject you. Your face contorts and you wince in pain. While you’ve been punched, kicked, stabbed, and shot many times, it doesn’t make this any easier. You have to squeeze Sam’s hand as hard as your weakened state allows you. And it may be a bit of an ego boost but Sam winces from your grip.

In reality, it only takes about ten seconds but to you, it feels like a lifetime before Dr. Becker pulls the needle out. “Alright, all done,” she tells you, putting a bandaid where the dot of blood is. “The medicine should take effect immediately, so you need to rest up as much as possible. You can get your crutches from Nurse van Wieren when you’re ready,” she tells you and then leaves.

You look up at Sam to see him with a small smile on his face, looking back at you. “What?”

“Now, was that so bad?” he asks you.

“Yes,” you conclude firmly. You watch Sam try to hold back his smile, but failing miserably. You click your tongue at him, half heartedly hitting him in the chest. “I’m serious. Feels like a rod going through my arm.”

Sam chuckles but says, “Sorry, it’s just…” Sam shrugs. “I didn’t know that about you.”

He says it warmly. It reminds you of the first time you two had met almost a year ago when Sam had tested your name on his tongue right in the middle of HYDRA 2.0. You and Sam exchanged phone numbers right after the whole mess had been cleaned up.

“You know now,” you tell him. “So what?”

Sam shakes his head. “So nothing. I like learning new things about you, even almost a year into our relationship,” and isn’t that the sweetest goddamn thing? You are the luckiest guy in the world. Sam’s tone goes comically serious. “No, seriously… you want me to kiss it better?”

“Shut up,” You blush. “And help me down,” Sam smiles, holding out his arms for you to grab. You put a hand on his shoulder, balancing yourself. Wincing as you shimmy your way off the bed, you favor the leg that didn’t have a bullet in it.

“You okay?”

“I’m fine,” you tell him, “thank you.”

“It’s no problem, baby,” Sam coos while gripping onto you. “And be prepared because I’ve got a special dinner waiting for you when we get home.”

You snort and scrunch your nose. “Dinner? It’s 10 o’clock.”

“Then, it’s a midnight snack,” Sam tells you sassily.

“It’s not midnight, either.”

“Humor me.”

You sigh. “Fine, it’s a late dinner snack.”

“Alright, then,” Sam concedes. “Let’s go.”

Nurse van Wieren hands you your crutches as you and Sam leave the medbay. You smile and thank him before he walks away.

Sam’s words finally hit you as you get into the hallway. “Wait, waiting for me? How did you know I was coming home today?” you question, grabbing your boyfriend’s attention. You watch as Sam’s face begins to flush. You squeal. “Oh my god! Did you make SHIELD tell you where I was?”

Sam doesn’t respond for a few seconds before, “...Maybe.”

“Aw,” you coo, causing Sam to scoff.

“Yeah, don’t let it go to your ego, L/n.”

“No, but you have to tell me,” you tell him, stepping into the elevator before Sam does. You stand side by side, staring at each other with matching grins on your faces. “Is this special treatment reserved for me alone… or do you keep tabs on Steve and Nat, too?” as you expected, Sam doesn’t answer and you can’t hide your laugh. “That’s sweet,” you praise. “I might just have to tell Steve and Nat about it.”

“Don’t you dare!” Sam warns, though the smile on his face doesn’t disappear.

“I won’t, I won’t,” you agree without a second thought. “I know Steve would be indignant for about a week and who knows what the hell Nat would do to you,” you and Sam share a laugh, Sam’s gaze falling to the floor while you continue to stare at him because god, you love that deep, breathy laugh he does. You feel like you’re a goddamn king everytime you manage to get even a single giggle out of your boyfriend.

“Hey,” you say, grabbing Sam’s attention. He turns to you, looking extra adorable with his hands in his pockets and that tooth rotting smile on his face. “I think I might take you up on that offer to kiss me better.”

This causes Sam to hum smugly, his grin growing bigger and even more sugary. “Really?” Sam says slowly while he places his hands on your arms, rubbing up and down tenderly. He’s obviously being careful of your wounds. Noticing this single detail about Sam and how he is around you, you’re struck with how much you love this man standing in front of you.

Sam places a chaste kiss right over your bandaid before he rests his chin on your shoulder. “I love you,” he whispers against your skin. You feel your heart grow warm at his words.

“I love you, too,” you breath. “Now, let’s go home so you can kiss me better. And before dinner gets cold.”

(NOT MY GIF)

Main Blog // Other Side Blog

((NO ONE HAS MY PERMISSION TO REPOST MY WORK ANYWHERE EVEN WITH CREDIT))

[championofdnd]

I am trying so hard to read this book... I am failing miserably. Like i get the whole "you can't apply modern fanfic tropes and terminology to medieval works" argument. But Dante is such a fucking self-insert mary sue and it pisses me off every single chapter.

Not to mention you need like a phd in italian history to get half the frickin references and you gotta go to seminary to get the other half. And its not like a reference here or there no its every other fucking line is some obscure reference to a person that Dante personally hated.

Honestly there needs to be a meme graphic novel version of The Divine Comedy, it would make so much more sense to modern readers.

so shameful that no medieval poet wanted ME to guide them through their sexual awakening journey through the underworld or whatever idk i didn’t read the whole book

[extremelytiredincrediblyconfused]

the melodramatic beginning of my climactic end

There are, quite honestly, about a million other ways I had hoped to gain notoriety... and by a million I mean, like, five. Six, tops. Looking back, avoiding my own inevitable would’ve been easy – a literal push; a click, a tap, the fucking pushing of a fucking button (sorry, potty mouth). All I had to do was keep my mouth shut; keep my shit private just as I always had. I had worked so hard to get where I was – where I hopefully still am – and while some people may have deserved at least some part of what they got, some were just the worst kind of collateral damage. To the latter: you will never know the extent of my regret, nor the level at which I now self-loathe. To the former: I’m still sorry, even if you do suck a little.. I know, I know I’m getting ahead of myself. On that note, I suppose I should start from the melodramatic beginning of my climactic end – my self-imposed downfall, my very clumsy swan dive into public humiliation. Here goes; try not to hate me too much.

Oh, I’ve changed the names of people and places, but the rest is - unfortunately - the truth. 

“Well, it’s over! It’s done!” Judy, very melodramatically, intoned while frantically waving her arms, “Edgewood has officially gone to hell in a handbasket!” I have only just walked into the back door of the bakery and tea house the two of us own together, but I can already tell it’s going to be one of those days – to be fair, most of them are. “Well, don’t stop now, give me all the dirt!” I know I’m baiting her, but it never stops being fun. “They robbed my silverware tree!” she offered by way of explanation – the “silverware tree” as we now call it, is the tree that we are forced by the town of Clydesville to have blocking our front door because we live in Tree City USA. We decided to make it festive by hanging all of our gold-plated silverware that was too pitted for use (we are fancy, after all) and everyone had already come to terms with the simple fact that we might as well just throw that silverware in the trash, because once it was out there it likely wouldn’t stay very long. “Well, don’t let them ever say we don’t give back to our community.” Being flippant probably isn’t the best approach to the situation, but we are nothing if not sassy here. “Thanks for taking their attack on my decoration seriously” she sighed “I guess I should just be thankful they were careful not to trample my english garden while they robbed me blind.” “You’re right, I’m sorry, I should’ve taken this more seriously” I held up my hands in a placating gesture, “more importantly – who had bets on it lasting less than a month?” Before she even had time to feign offense, the victor was ready to claim their spoils. “That would be me!” the victor in question being my friend, and co-worker, Lawrence; or as we all prefer to call him, Law, “E-e-easiest five bucks I eva made!” he took the time to not only grab his prize, but do a somewhat embarrassing dance while doing it, “Ooh, wait, give it to me in singles – I WANNA MAKE IT RAIN.” “Five singles isn’t enough to make it rain, Law.” I retorted knowingly – honestly because we have tried to do it countless times, and failed miserably. We have the slow-motion videos to prove it. “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know it was your personal mission to rain on EVERYBODY’S parade today, Kat. Don’t let me stop you, want me to tell you about my hopes and dreams so you can shoot them all down while you’re at it? Yeesh.” He and I have been friends for so long, this type of back-and-forth is just par for the course. As a matter of fact, if I’m not mistaken, we are actually cousins. It is Wayneswood County, after all, literally everyone is related. “As long as your so-called hopes and dreams don’t involve proposing to yet another girlfriend, I’m pretty sure I’ll be supportive of them” I know it’s a low blow to hit so early in our little game, but I really do have a reason for coming in to the store today. You see, Law is what we call a ‘habitual proposer’ – he’s been engaged to four different women (only married to one) in his ripe, young age of twenty-eight. “aye-aye-aye, kick a man when he’s down, why don’tcha?” he pounded a closed fist over his heart in an attempt to make me feel bad. “I’m not saying I didn’t know it wouldn’t happen, but I just thought people would be nicer. I should know better than to place any expectations on humanity anymore. Oh, well – at least I’ve got more silverware to hang up. No more soup ladles, though, the dredges of society apparently needed to serve some broth.” Judy interjected, still trying desperately to hide her disappointment. “That or prepare a whole lot of crack!” I jovially added, making a show of shrugging my shoulders and forcing a tight smile. “Prepare. Prepare?” oh, here he goes “Uh, excuse me, yes Geeves” Law was getting into it now, affecting a posh accept and holding his pinky in the air “prepare us crack, good sir, make it our finest vintage!” “Soooorrrrryyyyy I don’t know all the hip drug lingo, friendo. I must’ve missed that issue of Street Youth Monthly.” Admittedly, my joke’s weren’t always the cream of the crop. After receiving looks of pity for my attempt at being pithy, we fell into our daily routine of treading water and getting through the daily deluge of afternoon teas, ladies having lunch, hipster parents trying to force their kids into liking fancy things and the general public needing sweets to keep calm and carry on. “Our 2:00 afternoon pushed to Wednesday, and changed their reservation time to 1:30.” Judy explained – at the end of the day we all sit down and compare calendars, make notes on scheduling, and make sure we haven’t over-booked ourselves too terribly much. “Okay, perfect. I got a form submission for a 12:00 highest on the 26th.” I added, looking over my most recent crop of e-mails. “Hmmm” Judy furrowed her brow in concentration, “No, that won’t work, we’ve got a party of 15 at 12:00 for a Bridal Shower Tea, see if they can move to either 11:00 am or 2:00 pm. Those are the only availabilities.” “I’ll go ahead and e-mail them.” I responded, tapping a few keys to bring that promise to life. “We will need someone on June 9th, we have that big pastry order for the store anniversary at Belk.” Judy flipped her calendar, and for the first time I truly realized how close to the end of May we were. “I also have a wedding that Friday, so we will definitely need to schedule a lot of help because I’ll be down for the count just filling those two orders.” I’m the Pastry Chef, so I shoulder most of the actual baking responsibility, but I always make sure that only I do the wedding cakes. I’m very, very particular about the wedding cakes. “Can do. Law, can you make yourself available?” “Already planning on it, boss.”  My friend was nothing if not dependable. “Y’all know I ain’t got shit going on otherwise.” “Thanks, my dude. Did you buy your tickets for the Front Bottoms yet?!” we had only been talking about going to see them for, oh I don’t know, a million years now. I needed him to stop dragging his feet and commit to going with me already. I hate going places by myself, especially Asheville. “ohmagod, do you want me to buy the tickets in front of you? Do you want me to purchase the gahdang tickets right frickin now so you can watch and make sure I do it, MOM?” like I said, the back and forth never stops with us. “actually that would bring me great pleasure.” I said, a smug smile taking over. “FINE.” He yelled, while pulling out his phone with more dramatic flourish than I probably deserved. After a few enunciated taps, he announced he had indeed purchased the ticket (showing me the text for proof) “You’re driving my ass there I hope you know. And buying me a beer – Wicked Weed is right next door and I’m not about to take on a buncha teenage FB fans without some liquid assistance.” “I’ll do you one better – I’ll buy you a PRETZEL to go with your beer.” I’m feeling very magnanimous, obviously. The day ended as does every other – with our tiny crew barely holding it together, and counting down the last five minutes like we were in Time’s Square watching the ball drop. Unfortunately for me, though, keeping up morale until 5:00 wasn’t going to be my biggest problem of the day.

The drive home was especially short for me, considering I lived less than a block away from the shop. Yes, I choose to drive - you haven’t been on these mean streets at 3:00 am. I put my little Honda in park, and tried to get all the groceries in one go, something at which I seemed to be failing miserably. Reaching for my key, usually hanging from the tiny cupcake keychain my boyfriend’s niece got me for Christmas a few years ago, I was shocked to look down and see nothing more than a broken bead chain. Sonofa – “NOOOOOOO not again!!!!” I whined, loudly. Cute it may be, practical it was not – I had lost my house key more times than I could count at this point during our five-year stint in our little Edgewood home. Micah’s car was here, though, so I could at least just bang on the door until he let me in. “MICAH! MICAH I KNOW YOU’RE HERE, LET ME IN YOU PUNK.” -bang bang bang- -bang bang bang- “I SWEAR TO CHRIST IF YOUR’E SLEEPING THROUGH THIS I’M GOING TO MURDER YOU. YOU JUST WAIT UNTIL I GET THIS DOOR OPEN” -bang bang bang- At this point, my hand was starting to hurt desperately, so I decided that –naturally- the best course of action was to begin kicking the door. However, one can only punch and kick a door for so long before one decides one looks like a crazy person and the neighbors start peeking out their windows. I pulled out my phone to begin the task of calling him until he answered, but after the fifth call of incessant ringing, it started going straight to voicemail. Huh. I mean, that’s probably nothing right? “Hey, it’s Micah, I’m either busy or just can’t get to the phone right now – either way, leave me a message and I’ll call you back… or I won’t. Later. Beeeeeeeep” “Micah, what the hell? I’m sitting outside, freezing, alone, getting really shitty looks from our very terrible neighbors, I lost my key – again. Yes, I know. Your car is here, so I don’t know why you’re not, but I guess just let me know whenever you can. I love you.” A knot began twisting in the pit of my stomach – our relationship would never be described as “stable” or “healthy”, a fact that my friend who was currently going to school to be a therapist (whatever that’s called – therapy school? Therapist school? How-does-that-make-you-feel school?) was always very quick to point out. “If someone really loved you, they wouldn’t make you feel this way.” “If he really loved you, he would make you a priority.” “People in healthy relationships don’t end up crying on their friends’ couches this much.” Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. We started dating when I was young – honestly, no frontal lobe development whatsoever – and we got way too serious way too quickly. What would you do if you were 19 and your boyfriend’s mom made you promise to take care of him on her deathbed? Yeah, that’s right, don’t judge me; maybe I should’ve left years earlier, but sometimes the hardest thing is to do is scream for help when your lungs have filled with water. So, I sat there. I sat on that porch for five hours and twenty-seven minutes and you can bet your ass if my watch counted seconds I would know those, too. Finally, the darkness was punctured by a harrowing halogen beacon, said beacon not being attached to any car I immediately recognized, but at this point a literal prostitute could’ve been driving him home and I wouldn’t have cared – the need to urinate was all encompassing and entirely overbearing. A slow roll, the sound of the door opening and quickly closing, a decidedly female voice offering promises of meeting again soon; the soft crunch of glass-flecked grass from when he accidentally broke two of my solar lights but never bothered to clean it up, the rattle of keys being removed from the same front, left pocket in which they always rested. “’bout time.” I slurred – admittedly, at some point during my wait I had decided to crack into the beers I had purchased earlier. And by “crack into” I mean “drink all of”. “jesus!” micah whispered, jumping back and assuming what I can only imagine was meant to be a defensive position, “Kat? What are you doing out here? Christ, you scared the SHIT outta me!” “Oh, no… are you slightly inconvenienced? Oh, oh, no… I would hate for your date to end on a sour note.” “Date? Oh, seriously, Kat? Really? You’re gonna get mad about me for hanging out with an old friend?” Micah’s mood immediately turned, and I knew it could only be headed in one direction. “Don’t bring him up.” I warned “For fuck’s sake” he huffed “so you’re free to throw my female friends in my face whenever you want, but I can’t bring up your so-called… what is it that you call him?” he asked in a mocking tone “best friend forever? Your little bestie? Bestie Bitch?” “Seriously, you don’t know what you’re talking about. Besides, that’s different.” I argued – the same argument we’ve had time and time again. “Oh, I do know what I’m talking about. I don’t give a shit that you guys have been friends since you were in diapers or whatever you want to claim – that guy is in love with you; he would be at the front of your line, and you know it.” He sneered “God, Micah, when are you finally going to admit that you’re unhappy? When will you stop trying so desperately to make ‘us’ work?” I pleaded, practically on my knees – because, damn, I was druuunk. “When will you?” I can’t explain what happened next, because never in my life have I been that person – the one who is strong enough to walk away, the one who can say no. I can only thank the Stella gods for giving me the distinguished courage to stand up – for, arguably, the first time in my life – and have the self-respect to finally walk away. “Now.” I blinked, suddenly realizing what I was saying, gathered what remained of my groceries (that I hadn’t eaten or drank) and stood up, ready to take the first step. Ready to make a move solely for myself, without worrying about someone who had never spent a day worrying about me. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Back up… what?” Micah kept doing this ‘I can’t believe this is happening’ blinking and head shaking combination, probably unsure what to do in a situation where I wasn’t a complete pushover, “say that again? I had to hear you wrong.” “Now.” I said again, much more forcefully, “I’m done. You’re done. We’re done, that simple. I’m leaving – I’ll, uh, come back sometime to get my stuff. I’m taking Penelope and MacGyver.” “You’re serious? Oh, you sweet, simple little bunny… just like that? Just… done? Where do you think you’re gonna go?” he had turned condescending, and I was not there for that. At. All. “I told you to stop calling me that, you ass. I’ll find somewhere to stay – so many people have been begging me to leave you and offering their homes as shelter, it’s not me I’m worried about.” “Well leave your key, I don’t want you sneaking back in here and taking my shit.” Oh, Micah, you always were unnecessarily paranoid. Looking back, it was probably the drugs I didn’t know you were taking. “I lost my key – if you answered your phone, you’d know that.” “Are you sure you can’t stay – we can talk this out?” “There’s nothing to talk about, Micah. We’re done. Now, get the hell out of my way, I’m leaving.” “You can’t drive, you’ve been drinking… you have to stay.” He had a point, and I’m honestly super terrified of breaking the law, but before he had even finished his sentence, I had my phone out and was halfway to dialing the only person I could consistently rely on. “Kat, baby? What’s wrong?” he answered – he always answers. “I’m sorry, Phoenix, I know it’s late… I just” oh, no, the tears. The tears started happening. “I don’t give a shit what time it is – you can call me day or night, you know that – you just never call.” His voice had taken on a tender quality, probably in response to my sobs. “I, uh, I… ah, fuck, can you come get me? Please?” “Absolutely, where are you?” “Ho-“ Micah cast a harsh glare in my direction, “… um, Micah’s house.” I corrected myself – this place hadn’t ever really been my home, anyway. “… is that a new place, or a new name for an old place?” I could hear his hesitancy – I didn’t know how to approach this situation, how could I expect him to? “It’s the same address… just a different situation.” I didn’t really want to get into it, considering Mr. Glarey McGlareson was still shooting eye-daggers at me. “Give me ten minutes.” “Don’t speed.” I attempted to sound stern “Kitkat, I’m coming to pick you up from what I can only assume to be your now ex-boyfriend’s house, I’ll be there in ten minutes or I owe you a bag of chips.” “I’m timing you.” “You’d better.” “Well isn’t that just precious – you’re moving on mighty fast there, Kitkat.” Micah sneered as soon as I hung up on Phoenix. “Seriously? Don’t. Just, don’t. I’m not the one who got dropped off by another woman.” I warned, but it was hollow – honestly, whoever she was, call that bitch up and I’ll thank her myself for being the impetus for this conversation. Micah decided it would be better to not wait with me, and I couldn’t have agreed more. He told me he would call me when he felt comfortable with me getting my stuff – I told him I would be by to get my cats by the end of the following week. He snorted some semblance of an agreement, walked up the two-steps to the small porch, stalked through the front door and ended the entire conversation with a slam. Nine minutes and thirty-seven seconds later, Phoenix’s truck pulled up in front of the 1940s bungalow I wouldn’t sleep another night in. How magnificent. “Jesus, P, how fast did you go?” “What do I need to load? What’s the game plan?” he clapped his hands, rubbing them together like he was either about to do some manual labor or concoct a dastardly plot to take down that do-gooder, Dudley. “I’m sorry, game plan?” I asked, still pretty tipsy, considering. “Yeah – let’s get this done, move you out. Why wait?” “Well, for one, it’s like three in the morning. For two, this wasn’t planned and I haven’t even packed a single shred of anything. I’m not ready, I’ll just come back.” “What’s in your hands?” confusion echoed across his handsome features. I mean, sure we’re only friends, but I can appreciate a good lookin’ guy, you feel me? “What?” I looked down, because honestly I had kind of forgotten, “Oh, groceries.” I shrugged. “That bastard let you go to the grocery store before he broke up with you?” “Hey! Who says he broke up with me?” “Kat, girl, it’s you…” head cocked, twinge of guilt, but ultimately not a wrongful assessment “Yeah, well, ya girl grew a pair tonight. My bitch ass left his bitch ass.” Sassy really isn’t my forte, but I gave it a go. “Oh, now I need to hear the full story.” Behind my head I heard a window crank open, that particular window was in the kitchen which looked directly out over the portion of the front yard in which we were currently standing. Phoenix and I both turned from the intruding noise. “Seriously, guys?” Micah deadpanned from the window – his hair was askew, his eyes red, and a cigarette was hanging from his lips “DON’T SMOKE INSIDE” Phoenix and I yelled in unison, looking at each other and giggling like schoolgirls “Yeah, my house, my rules, now seriously fuck off.” And with that little nugget, he stalked off to probably watch porn right in the living room because apparently the house was now a lawless land. “I really hate that guy” Phoenix noted “I really know you do.” “What were you thinking?” he whined “I have asked myself that every day for the past 5 years.”

The drive to Phoenix’s house took decidedly longer than nine minutes and thirty-seven seconds, probably because we took back roads so we could listen to music longer – something we had always done. There was always singing, usually dancing, and more than a few times there were tears. After minor protest, he helped me carry in my groceries. Unlocking the door, he flicked on the light to reveal the home he had been pouring his heart into renovating for the past two years. The coffee table was new – he built it. “Just put the groceries on the counter and I’ll help you put them up.” He whispered “Thanks – I would say we could just toss them and start over, but these are kind of my only worldly possessions right now, and I’m a little attached.” I whispered back, because duh. “I understand – it’s hard to not get attached to…” plucking a random box out of my bags, “tender whites popcorn.” He said, still whispering. “Hey, P, did you get a roommate?” “Hell, naw, why?” “Why are we whispering?” “Ha!” he laughed, louder now, “in my head we were sneaking into one of our parents’ houses. God, sometimes in my head we’re still teenagers.” He was clearly reminiscing. “I wish things were still that simple.” I released on a sigh “Well, do you wanna sleep or talk?” he was never one to tiptoe around the delicate “Honestly? Sleep. I promise I’ll give you the full story over the coffee you make me in the morning “God” he snorted “you will never change, huh?” “Here’s hoping.” “Wouldn’t want you any other way. The guest room is made up, you know the way, I’m hitting the hay. If you need anything, keep it to your damn self because I’m sleepy. Love you, bestie.” He gave me a quick hug – because even after being friends for most of our lives, neither of us was particularly physically demanding “I love you, too, P. I’ll see you in the morning. Thanks for saving my ass, again.” “Anytime, KK.” We parted ways, him walking to his master bedroom, and me walking to the guest bedroom situated directly across the short hallway. He paused at his door, and looked back at me “Kat?” I paused, and turned as well, “yeah, Phoenix?” “…welcome back.” “Where had I gone?” “Nowhere good.” The pain was obvious on his face “You’re not wrong, bestie. You’re not wrong.” “You’ll get through this.” “I always do.” “I’ll be right here.” “… you always are” I added before finally closing my door. I guess, in a way, I was back. Like waking up after a deep sleep riddled with nightmares, full of monsters and shadows holding you down and filling you with a sense of inferiority. I suppose, in some small measure, this was one of the first monumental moments of clarity in my fog-riddled existence. I only wish I had stayed up my upward trajectory, stayed full of hope and happiness, kept the lightness of losing a boyfriend-sized weight. Ah, well, I wouldn’t have much of a story to tell then, now would I?

[tmnt-veelicious]

Across the Stars - Ch.3

Warning, mentions of panic attacks in this chapter !! I can say it’s minor, but it’s mentionned and described twice. Things will get happier soon, I promise :’) !!! I’m just a sucker for hurt/comfort aaahhh First Chapter --> HERE Previous Chapter --> HERE Next Chapter --> HERE

She hated this. Like the whole world was against her. First the rain on her way to work, then the worst customers and Vee constantly dropping pile of clothes around or slamming her leg or foot hard against a table or a corner. And then her parents HAD to call her, asking for news, how her plans were doing. The lack of improvement regarding her artistic career always created some tension amongst the family, and now the fact that she had moved to New York bringing confusion and disappointement. Yes she had wanted to flee. Vee wanted to start fresh, but the glooming menace of failure always followed her, not even caring about her path. She wanted to disappear. The apartment was empty, Vee knowing April was spending the night at Casey's. She was glad, but on the other hand she feared being alone... Her vision was blurry, her breath harsh. She tried to remove her coat, but every movements felt like a hard task, her legs suddenly shaking. No. Not now. She collapsed against the entry door, sitting down, knees brought up, arching her head towards them. She wanted to hide, she wanted the thoughts to stop. Sobs and hiccups escaped her, cursing her miserable state. She felt like being in an endless loop, nothing ever changing, nothing ever improving. Every efforts she ever made were fruitless, as pointless as her life. She felt her phone vibrate in her pocket, the motion good enough to divert her thoughts for some minutes. She fumbled her hand through her coat's pocket, soon getting the device before her and noticing a new message. (Donnie): Hey, how was your day :)? A smile tried to find its place on her lips, but every attempts failed, her eyes drowning in tears. They had exchanged phone numbers ever since they met up at the lair a week ago and somehow that recomforted Vee, knowing she could join her friend at any given time or place... She didn't know what to answer, her hands numb and shaking. She took some deep breaths, trying to override her emotions so she could sound normal. She mindlessly pushed a button so she could call him, the ringtone almost too loud for her ear. ''Hey Vee!'' His voice was all she needed. ''Hi Donnie, sorry for calling … texting now just feels like a chore.'' ''Is everything alright?'' She could already notice the concern in his voice. She forced a small laugh, trying to sound light-hearted. ''Yeah, I guess. … I just had a long day today.'' She sighed, looking at her free, trembling hand. ''… I was wondering if I could come by your place? April's not here and I don't feel like hanging all by myself.'' ''Yeah, sure! We're not going on patrol tonight so it's totally fine.'' ''Could you come and lead the way, though? I have no clue how to get there. … Gosh I sound so demanding, I'm sorry.'' ''No you don't and I'll be there in twenty minutes approximately.'' ''… Thanks Donnie.'' As soon as the call ended Vee let out a long sigh, her head hanging back so it could rest against the door. She needed to breathe, calm her nerves... She finally got up, already heading for the bathroom. She looked like a mess, her eyes slightly red and her cheeks wet. Grumbling, she proceeded to splash some water over her traits, trying to refresh her. Her shaking had dimnished, but it was still slightly present, especially in her hands and knees. She decided to make herself a cup of tea, knowing waiting would only bring back some bad thoughts... Sitting by the table, her coat hanging nearby, cup in hand, she stared down her brew, her fingers lightly tapping some random rhythms, occupying her somehow. Then she heard a knock on one of the living room's windows, a soft smile coming to her lips as she got to it and noticed the presence of the turtle on the other side, hanging on the balcony nearby. She opened the way to him, next stepping aside so he could come in. ''Hi!'' he simply greeted, his eyes never leaving her. ''Hi,'' she replied, still smiling, although her eyes revealed her tiredness. Donnie couldn't hide his frown, studying the woman. Her posture, everything, showed something was wrong. Even her hand holding a mug was slightly shaking. ''… Are you sure everything's alright?'' he asked. She took a long sip of her tea, arching an eyebrow. ''Yes, genius. As you may recall, I said I had a long day today,'' she answered with a smirk. ''You sure you want to head out then?...'' Vee had moved back to the kitchen to dispose of her cup and next grabbing her coat, her smile now genuine as she got back to the turtle. ''Absolutely! A new environment will do good on my thoughts.'' She was already climbing out the window, finally spotting the mutant who was still inside, watching her. ''… Are you coming or not?'' she asked, amused. She finally saw him smile as he moved, soon next to her, closing the window. As they were making their way down Vee's mood was finally starting to shift, a warm feeling invading her. She felt so at ease by Donatello's side, not even minding as he took her in his arms, jumping down a manhole, soon dwelling into New York's sewers. Now walking side by side, they managed some small talk, Vee mindlessly hooking her arm around Donnie's, sighing with a smile. ''It's so funny to think we can hang out now. … I've somehow always thought you'd be nothing more but a name on a screen, and here you are...'' ''Here I am, with a lovely woman by my side,'' he commented. Vee snorted, looking up to him with amusement, noticing he was now blushing, realizing what he just said. ''I do have my charms, yes, thanks for noticing,'' teased the human. ''Don't ever listen to whatever I say. It's all just mess now.'' ''What now?'' faked Vee, as if she had troubles hearing. ''I'm sorry, I thought I heard someone speak. There must be interferences.'' Donnie snickered, slightly nudging the other in a playful way. They arrived to the lair, the place surprisingly calm, except for some noises coming from a television. As Donatello offered to take the woman's coat, being the gentleman he always was, Vee noticed that the sound was coming from a video game, Michelangelo and Raphael sitting on a couch, occupied with their competition. ''Woah, Super Smash Bros. Sweet,'' commented the woman, getting near. Mikey turned around with a smile, not even caring that he was then getting obliterated by Raph's character. ''Hey angelcakes! Good to see you!'' The end of the game made itself clear, the orange masked turtle suddenly looking at the scream, soon a loud laughter coming out of Raph. ''Well then! Now I know what's the trick for instantly winning against you,'' he said with a grin. ''I just need to bring a hot girl around and you won't pay any attention at all.'' Vee blushed at that remark, surprised. Although it was short-lived as Donnie was back to her side, rolling his eyes. ''Move aside boys and let a pro show you how to really kick butt!'' ''Wait! How about a four players match?'' questionned Mikey. He looked at Vee with a challenging smile. ''Unless the pretty lady is scared.'' Vee entered the game, puffing her posture as to look confident. ''I was born with a super nintendo in my hands,'' she declared. ''I can easily beat you all, video gaming's in my veins.'' The young turtle cheered as Vee was next seated between him and Donatello on the couch, soon given a controller. Her character choice was stopped on Fox as Mikey chose Samus, Raph Bowser and Donnie Greninja. The match was set with no time limit, only with five lifes each. And Vee proved to be a real challenge for the mutants. As the match went on, it was soon left to her against Donatello, both character's speed proving to be a good trial, until it finally resolved to the woman winning, all four players cheering from the thrill (Donnie was slightly pouting, jokingly, although he was a good sport about all this). ''Who won?'' asked a new voice. All of them turned to Leonardo who got intrigued by all this comotion. The three other turtles all pointed to Vee who was showing a large grin, victorious. The leader in blue smirked, somehow amused. ''Oh no, nobody's stealing this champion's title in this house, not even a guest.'' He came around the couch, grabbing Raph's controller on the way. ''Time to show who's the boss,'' he joked, sitting on the floor, glaring at Vee with a toothy grin. ''Game on,'' replied the woman, already up for the challenge. He chose Meta Knight, somehow predictable, as Vee took Yoshi. ''What the hell, Vee, you won't stand a chance!'' pointed out Mikey. ''Oh don't worry, I've got some tricks up my sleeves,'' simply answered the human, not even stressed. The rule was changed to three lifes instead of five and the battle began soon enough. At first Vee seemed overwhelmed by the other's prowess, although she was able to catch on, soon leaving both of them with one life each. It was time for the grande finale. Vee tried to look as emotioneless as possible, even if she wanted to laugh. She placed Yoshi near the edge of the map, waiting patiently. ''Vee, move!'' warned Donnie. She did not answer, waiting until Leo's character was near enough and she swallowed it, Yoshi shitting a frickin' egg into the void. The end was soon announced and acclamations roared from the three brothers, Leo too dumbfounded to react. He finally stood up, staring down the human, until he finally cracked a new smile. ''Alright, good game. But I will get my revenge,'' he said, next handing back the controller to Raph. Vee didn't know either she had to act smug or slightly scared. She waited until he was gone before she piped up: ''I hope I didn't overstep any boundaries by beating him.'' ''HA! Hell no,'' commented Raphael, amused. ''Lil' prince needs to be taken down his throne from times to times.'' ''And you totally need to teach us some kick-ass moves, dudette,'' added Mikey. ''That egg thing was awesomely clever.'' ''I can definitely show some of them, but not all if I still want to beat you guys!'' answered Vee with a smirk. With that started a new round, the woman's smile never fading, forever glad of this time she could spend with the turtles. *** The weeks went by, time always flowing too fast for Vee's taste. It was now a little over the middle of October, the air cold and crisp, the trees showing red and orange leaves, as bright as flames. The incoming freshness did bring some good to the woman as she took that as an excuse to bring coffees for Donatello and herself whenever she would go visit the lair. It wasn't rare for the duo to hang together now, mostly spending their time on starting projects, the human simply overjoyed to be able to participate. Even if it was simply cleaning tools, go over some of his lines on blueprints and mixing some fluids in his lab, she was glad to have a little taste of his world, may it be in silence or plunged into deep conversations. She couldn't help her feeling of easiness when around him, the bond they had developped over the last few months only getting stronger. Although she knew there were probably things she still didn't know about him, as she still omitted to reveal some about herself. But she knew things would come to light in time, if it ever was to happen... The last few days had been hard on her overall state. From insomnia to panic attacks, she knew her only salvation was to get herself occupied with various activities. She never mentionned her troubles, but knew too well that the dark circles under her eyes never escaped the mutant's attention. He never said anything, as if awaiting for her to speak or give a certain signal... Only for it to happen one night as she was cleaning some test tubes in his lab, one suddenly escaping her hands and shattering on the floor. ''Ah, shit, I'm so sorry,'' she hissed, cursing herself afterward, trying to search for a broom or anything that could help her clean. He noticed her hands shaking, her movements more frantic than usual. When she failed to find anything to clean, she crouched down, trying to take the broken pieces in her hands. ''Don't touch that! You'll cut yourself!'' warned Donnie, suddenly off from his chair, grasping her arm and putting her back on her feet. He noticed the woman's pained expression. At first he thought he was probably holding her a bit too strongly, but then he saw her hands shaking more, soon her knees following. He started to move her out of the lab, grabbing a stool chair on the way. ''No, no, Donnie, wait, I'm fine,'' started to blabber Vee. He didn't say a word, placing the object so it could face his chair and then he seated the human down, him next taking place on his own. ''You are not fine and now I want to hear why,'' he said, never releasing her hands, his eyes fixed on her. ''There's nothing to say.'' Her voice was shaking. ''You want me to overlook how tired you look, fine, '' he added. ''But right now you're showing signs of a panic attack and I'm not going to let you go over that alone.'' He slowly massaged her palms, trying to soothe her. ''… I've seen signs over the last few weeks and I thought you'd open to me one day.'' ''Because there's nothing to say,'' repeated Vee harshly, some tears escaping her eyes without her consent, looking away. ''It's something I'm going through all by myself and I don't see why I should bring others in this.'' She tried to calm her emotions as words didn't stop leaving her mouth. ''I've always been like this. I worry too much about things and then I overthink and this happens. I'm trying my best to succeed and please people around me, but everytime it just fails and it's never enough.'' This time she cracked, her head bowing down as a sob escaped her. She had tried so hard to fight everything for weeks, but now she felt weak. Somehow voicing all of this made her realize how bad things were... ''I feel like I'm stuck,'' she continued, her voice breaking. ''I just want to disappear.'' God, she felt so stupid right now. ''I- I didn't want you to see me like this. This is ridiculous...'' She could feel some spasms in her legs, her teeth clenching, trying to control it. She felt Donnie's hands shift, now cupping her cheeks. Her eyes were now planted in his, the mutant's voice almost an echo as he started to speak. ''Follow my lead,'' he said. ''I want you to breathe in for four seconds, keep it in for seven and then exhale for eight. Do it with me.'' Inhale. One. Two. Three. Four. Keep. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Exhale. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. She could feel his thumbs wiping her tears away, his touch warm and recomforting. Vee's body was slowly starting to calm down, keeping her focus on the turtle and the breathing exercize. After what felt like eternity, Donnie gently pulled the woman towards him, soon letting her sit in his lap. He didn't hesitate to keep her in his arms, embracing her in hopes that she would continue to relax. At first Vee was frozen, but she finally reciprocated the hug, her arms now around his neck, hiding her face against his skin. For once she knew she could forget everything, get lost in this feeling. She could feel his heartbeat, strong and rapid, just like hers. ''… Please, don't hide this from me,'' he started, his voice soft. ''You don't have to face it alone. … Whatever is happening, I want to help you.'' Vee sighed, all her tensed muscles falling, giving in. ''… I just want to stay like this for a moment, if you don't mind.'' ''Not at all,'' he replied, simply leaning back comfortably into his chair, one of his hands mindlessly petting her back. No more words were added, both closing their eyes and letting their thoughts drift away. It was as if a huge weight had fallen off the woman's shoulder, her mind finally clear. She focused on Donatello's touch, soon his caress lulling her to sleep. Right now she felt safe and it was all that mattered. When he noticed the regular pattern in her respiration, he knew she was sleeping. At first he didn't know what to do, nervous, but he decided to shrug it off, knowing Vee's body had probably craved that rest for a long time... He slowly turned his chair back to his computer, deciding to get back to work as the woman was still asleep in his lap. The overall feeling was strange, but not unwelcomed. He had a bit of a hard time to focus, mainly because of what just happened. From their discussions, he always thought Vee to be an overall happy person, always laughing and glad to be helping others, but now it wasn't hard for the turtle to see that this was probably all some sort of facade.  Maybe not completely, knowing the woman tended to have an optimistic view of life, but everyone had their moments of weakness, such as this... ''Hey Donnie, in thirty minutes we'll gear up and go on pat-'' Leo's voice trailed off when he noticed the situation, throwing a questionning glare at his brother. The tall turtle felt like shrinking in his chair, only to sigh briefly. ''… She had a rough day,'' he said, quietly. ''Don't worry, I'll wake her up.'' He knew the leader probably had more questions in him, but the blue masked turtle simply shrugged, prefering to turn away and warn the others of their future departure. Donnie preferred to wait ten more minutes before deciding himself to wake the woman up. He tightened his embrace a little, daring to lightly nuzzle the top of her head. ''Hey Vee...'' She gasped, her body jumping as she tried to get back into the living world. ''Fuck,'' she said in a tired tone. ''I'm sorry I shouldn't have-'' She stopped, her eyes meeting Donnie's. A blush came to her face, realizing how near they were now... At first she wanted to get off, but she was stopped by the mutant's desk, trapped on his lap. ''What the-?'' she grumbled. ''How long was I asleep?'' ''A good fifteen minutes at least,'' answered the turtle, turning his chair around so she could finally stand up. At first Vee's stance was a bit wobbly, her legs still asleep and recovering from her previous shaking, but she soon stabilized as Donnie was up to her side, a hand gently placed on her shoulder. ''You should have woke me up earlier,'' added Vee with a smirk. ''Had I been sleeping longer, I would have probably started drooling.'' ''How horrifying,'' joked the turtle. ''At least you didn't snore.'' ''Ha-ah, you're lucky indeed! … Anyway, why did you awaken this sleeping beauty, o prince charming?'' ''Leo told me we're going on patrol soon,'' answered Donnie, trying not to blush at what the woman had said. ''I guess we'll be dropping you to your place on the way.'' ''That'd be much appreciated.'' She was about to move out of his hold to get a grab of her coat, but the mutant stopped her, holding her hands once more. ''Vee... what just happened …, I don't like seeing you like this. If you need to reach out, please do. You don't have to be ashamed about any of that. We're friends, right? You can tell me anything.'' Vee showed half of a smile, somehow touched by his words. She did not hesitate to get near him once more, hugging him. At first the turtle was surprised, but soon decided to comply, his arms around her, nuzzling the top of her head again. ''I can't promise anything, but I'll try,'' answered Vee. ''I just don't like getting people involved into my bullshit, it gets so depressing.'' ''Try me, I'm tougher than I look!'' That got a soft laugh from Vee, finally looking up to Donnie with a genuine smile. ''Couldn't expect less from someone with a shell on its back.'' Their new proximity sent a slight shiver down their spines, their hold lingering for more than needed... It was only after Mikey's voice resonated across the lair, declaring their departure, that time was finally back on track, both now out of their arms, blushing. *** The night had been calm so far, except for a minor robbery attempt, but it wasn't anything the turtles couldn't stop. They were now sitting on top of a high apartment building, taking in the view before they called the patrol off. ''So,'' started Leo's voice, directed at Donnie. ''What was that thing with Vee all about?'' ''What thing?'' interjected in Mikey, truly curious. ''I caught tech-boy over here sitting in his chair with Vee all cuddled up on his lap.'' Donnie was already annoyed, especially after hearing Mikey commenting on how he was acting like a ''Don Juan''. ''I told you she had a bad day, Leo,'' answered the tall turtle. ''Yeah but having a bad day doesn't always have to equal with cuddling,'' added Raph. ''What's going on between you two anyway?'' ''Sorry for showing basic kindness. We're not poisonous so I don't see why it should be seen as weird or forbidden to hug someone, especially a friend.'' Raph threw his hands in the air, faking to be scared. ''You're the one making a big deal out of this now. … We're just curious 'cause we see how you two keep looking at eachother.'' Donatello sighed, not even denying his brother's words. ''… Look guys, she had a panic attack and I was just trying to calm her. Things seems to go bad for her these days and I just want to help.'' ''Man, she doesn't look like the kind of person to have that sort of struggle...'' commented Mikey, a bit concerned. ''Is she always feeling like that?'' ''I'm guessing some days are better than others,'' answered Donnie, shrugging a little. ''I've just discovered that she suffers from those. She hides it well at times and she's strong, but she shouldn't face it alone...'' ''And so what? Now you wanna try to fix her?'' objected Raph. ''She's a human, Donnie, her problems are not the same as our own. If she's strong, like you said, she'll figure things herself and get better.'' ''You obviously don't know anything about anxiety, do you?'' questionned the tall turtle, frowning. ''No, but what I do know is that if many humans don't want anything to do with us, why would she be any different? Why would she need your help?'' The red masked turtle was now standing straight, trying to make himself look more intimidating just like everytime he would start an argument, but Donatello wasn't phased by it, keeping his position. ''Because we're friends and that's what friends do, they help eachother. Knowing her, she would have already run away if she didn't want any of this.'' ''Okay, enough,'' intervened Leo, getting between the two, especially stopping Raphael. ''We are protectors of this city, Raph, and helping humans is what we do, better they like it or not.'' He looked at Donnie. ''And if one of them can find solace with one of us, fine … as long as it doesn't distract from trainings and patrols. Understand?'' Raph huffed, moving away, knowing he wouldn't be able to argue his way out of the leader's words. Some tension could be felt, until Michelangelo chided in: ''It's like watching a soap opera, dude.'' ''Shut up, Mikey!'' said the three others in unison.

[squirrel-moose-winchester]

You Can’t Be Serious

Title: You Can’t Be Serious

Word Count: 1453

Characters: Sam x Reader, Dean

Warning: language, mild fluff, mentions of homosexuality (no hate), sexual implications

A/N: This is my entry for the lovely Beka’s (@impala-dreamer) Titles Are Hard Challenge. I had so many ideas that it was difficult to choose one! But I’ve finally made up my mind! I hope it sends a little giggle your way! If not, I am sorry. Regardless, I had fun writing this piece! My prompt was, You Can’t Be Serious.

Disclaimer: Gif is not mine.

“Oh, c’mon! Think of it as a challenge!” You shouted into the phone as the hunter on the other end hung up on you. “Ugh! There has to be someone!” You groaned, hitting your head on the table with frustration.  “Ow.”

“Hey, what’s going on in here?” Dean walked in, taking the seat across from you.

“Nothing,” you mumbled.

“Well it doesn’t sound like nothing.”

“It’s nothing that you should concern yourself with.”

“What is it?”

“Don’t worry about it,” you grumbled, picking your head back up and staring at the older Winchester.

“I’m not leaving until you tell me,” he asserted, crossing his arms over his chest and lifting his feet onto the table. You rolled your eyes knowing this was not a battle you were going to win, but you kept silent when a brilliant plan popped into your head. You’d lose this battle but you could win this oncoming war.

If you were to tell Dean what kind of hunt it was, he would definitely turn it down just like the others. But if you could sucker him in, along with Sam, the case would be a piece of cake… ish. Vetala’s were pretty strong, but nothing like two giant tough guys couldn’t handle. The only question left was how where you going to get the guys to say yes?

“Look, you and Sam wouldn’t be able to handle it. I already know you guys,” you stated.

“What can’t we handle?” Sam asked as he walked in. Bingo. Winchester number two was now in the picture. That was easier than you thought. It was as if things were going to fall into place, but it was too soon to tell.

“Y/N here thinks we can’t handle a case,” Dean grunted.

“You do know who we are right?” Sam questioned, taking a seat next to his brother.

“We’ve fought all kinds of freaks!” Dean reminded.

“Oh, I know you guys could handle it, but I also know you guys wouldn’t be able to pull it off. This is a special case and you boys don’t make the cut,” you sneered. You were trying to put some reverse psychology on the line, hopping you’d eventually catch your prize. Dean would definitely be the one to cave first. No one challenged his pride.

“Y/N, stop being silly. Tell us what it is. I’m sure Dean and I could do it,” Sam retorted.

“I know that you could do it, but I also know you won’t. It’s pretty unconventional compared to our other hunts so I know you guys wouldn’t do it.”

“Wanna bet?” Dean offered. His eyes stern and challenging.

“A bet? You can’t be serious?” You deadpanned. They were nibbling on the bait now.

“Think you’ll lose?” Sam teased.

“Oh, you Winchesters don’t even know what you would be getting yourself into,” you shook your head with mischief.

“Bring it on,” Dean cooed.

“Well… it’s a vetala attack.”

“Vetala’s? Seriously? Sam and I have dealt with those kinds before. And with Sam by my side, we can easily wipe them out.”

“Sure, you say that now! These are male vetalas. They’re stronger than the females you fought.”

“Sweetheart, do we have to remind you of who we are?”

“Yeah Y/N, we’ve fought a lot worse,” Sam added.

“You guys aren’t listening to what I am saying. Yes, I understand that you’ve fought bigger and badder things, but what I am actually saying is that you guys are NOT going to want to take this case,” you reiterated.

“Why?” It was a simple question, but a question you weren’t ready to answer. They guys hadn’t said yes yet. They weren’t on the hook.

“Fine,” you started, in attempt to changed subtopic. “You want to make a bet, let’s make a bet!” You instigated. Dean and Sam shared a look, matching smug smirks gracing their face.

“Only if you’re sure about this.” They were giving you an out, but you weren’t backing down.

“If you are, then I am,” you grinned inwardly. The Winchesters may be strong and pretty damn smart, but they weren’t as smart and manipulating as you. And although manipulating friends isn’t what friends should do, those motherfuckers were trying to do the same. You knew what they wanted. They were going to make me their maid! It’s always the same thing.

“Alright, let’s talk stakes,” the green-eyes hunter wiggled his eyebrows, causing you to roll your eyes in response. He was one cocky son of a bitch, but you knew you would be having the last laugh.

“Let me guess, you guys want me to do your chores for a month?” It was always the same.

“Yeah, and…” you raised an eyebrow at the sudden change. They usually never stray from just chores.

“And?” Even Sam was a little thrown off, but there was something in his eyes. It looked like fear with a hint of warning. “Dean?” he called his brother warily.

“And you go on a date with little, big, Sammy here.” He grinned, eyebrows dancing and eyes twinkling with fulfillment. Your cheeks went a little red, embarrassed about the proposition he laid on the table.

“Dean!” Sam yelled, his eyes wide. “Y/N, you don’t have to do that,” Sam smiled nervously.

Not wanting to lose that opportunity of going on a date with your secret crush, you did the only thing that you could. “Deal.” Seal the deal. Make the bait a little more alluring.

“What?” Sam seemed shocked. “Really? You’d go on a date with me?” He chirped, seeming a little too excited. “I-I mean, we don’t have to call it a date, it could just be two friends hanging out,” he tried to act cool, but was failing miserably. He could be such a dork sometimes. Dean watched on, satisfied with his negotiations. “It’s a date,” you winked over at Sam who smiled widely.

“And what about us?” Dean asked.

“Well… if you guys back down from the hunt before or during, you play my slave for a month!” A smug look creeped its way onto your face, implying that you’d make their lives a living hell for the month.

Dean let out a loud snort. “Sweetheart, we never back down. You enjoy doing our chores, and you can thank me later for that date with my sweet baby brother over here,” Dean patted Sam on the shoulder.

“Dean, can you just shut up already?” Sam hissed thoroughly embarrassed by his brothers coaxing.

“He’s a Winchester, which means EVERYTHING is…” Dean didn’t finish his sentence, instead wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

“Dean! That’s it. I’m leaving!” Sam jumped from his seat and marched out of the room, face red as a cherry.

You and Dean looked at each other before laughing.

“Sammy!” You shouted. “I haven’t told you about the hunt yet, get back over here!” Not long after Sam trudged back in looking completely defeated. You held in the giggle that desperately wanted to slip out. He just looked so adorable, like a puppy that got in trouble for biting on the sofa. “Have a seat Sam.”

“Okay, lay it on us,” Sam sighed.

“First off, do we have a deal?” You asked.

“We have a deal,” Dean affirmed. You smirked inwardly. You had just hooked the Winchesters.

“Okay. With the bets set in place and our agreement confirmed, this is a vetala case. Two males preying on other men… specifically.”

Dean and Sam sent each other confused looks. “Okay,” Dean trailed, wanting more information.

“They seem to have a taste for… gay couples.” And there it was. The reason why no other male hunter would take the job, and why female hunters couldn’t.

“You can’t be serious?!” Dean and Sam gawked in unison. They had no problems with gay people or anyone, but the fact that they were brothers was the only thing that sent shivers down their spines the wrong way.

“Should I call you slave 1 and slave 2? Or would it be okay to just call you Squirrel and Moose?” You smirked, taunting them.

“Screw this! We can do this!” Dean declared, shooting up from his seat and pounding his fist on the table. “You’re doing our chores for a month and going on that date with Sam!” Dean spat before walking off.

“No. No, no. No. Dean! I don’t want to play your boyfriend! Gross!” Sam shouted, following Dean in hopes he’d change his mind.

You sat in the library more than satisfied at the success of your plan. You were a frickin’ genius! Sure, doing their chores is gonna suck, but you came out with a date and people were being saved.

“Sweet, sweet victory,” you chanted to yourself.

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