#i am stressed about the whole where im gonna live thing again tho

[be-good-to-bugs]

OH SHIT. my dad fuckin died today uh. rest in pieces dickhead 😘 time to CELEBRATE 🎉

[changbinsboobs]

Can you do skz as husbands next ??

Skz as Husbands series : Chan

Ohhhh boy...ya'll are not going to like this. Idk if i myself am shocked or not surprised...but literary ALL of the cards are BAD, and i kept on drawing and drawing more hoping at least one good will come out but...🥲 sadly all of them are pretty weird.

That being said i am reading current energy not current energy, and im not getting AT ALL vibes from chan for wanting to get settled down anytime soon. All of his focus is on his career and goals and ambitions etc and theres just no place left for a family.

So i guess it makes sense that all of the cards are really negative as it's just not his time now. I do feel potential in him tho (after some therapy and probably retirement).

Im just gonna go ahead and start with the 9oS which tells me that being a husband and the head of the family will put IMMENSE pressure on him with which he cannot deal with. I think he makes it much bigger in his mind and lets doubts, paranoia, stress etc get the best of him and im seeing him actually having pretty hesitant thoughts on marriage for that time being just for that same reason. I think he's a guy that sees this as a very serious job (can imagine him picking that up from his dad) and its nothing to be taken lightly and as i said it gets very twisted and exaggerated in his head and takes the best of him. If he were to get married right now, he would change very quickly from what his s/o has seen from him and take a huge turn for the worse and put forward his shadow side. Im seeing lots of toxic coping mechanisms too which very conveniently leads me to the next card.

The 3oC usually a nice card but not in this case, especially because of the heavy display of alcohol - im seeing him wanting to escape the crushing weight of his responsibilities and looking for that escape in the face of alcohol & shady friends that may be just too immature and bachelory-mindseted and have a bad influence on him. I can see him missing for nights on end, which also relates to the 5oP as well and him giving...no having to be forced to give the bare minimum, and him even struggling to do that, and twisting it all to look like the victim. But more on that card at the end. So as i was saying im seeing him being very absent a lot of the time, not only because of work but because he's out and about with his friends. Im not really getting cheating from the cards - but im getting heavy vibes of a similar setting where temptation is just around the corner and him just living as if he had no family back at home waiting for him. This - once again very conveniently ties to the next card😂

Which is the 5oW. Im seeing lots of fight, probably initially starting because of his prolonged missing and eventually moving on to different things. Im seeing fights escalating very quickly, starting very quickly, being very exhausting and very damaging. To the relationship, to both their mental health and to some random objects nearby👀

With The Fool im seeing him being way too immature for something like this at this current point and it shows pretty well on the card - he's just not in the right state of mind for this chapter of his life and if it were to happen it will bring out his unreadiness and immaturity forth even more - to show where he has to work on to be ready for that next stage.

And back to the 5oP again, aside from him having to be forced to give the bare minimum and him even failing at that - he very skillfuly turns it out to look as if he's the attacked one, as if he's the bullied one, as if his wife's the one who's starving him and making him out to be the bad guy and he just feels really bullied by the whole situation and behaves that way and expresses himself that way so i would say - a huge victim complex.

Overall i would say this reading was more of a "chans toxic defence and cooing mechanisms if he were put into the corner" reading, which is kinda sad cuz that doesn't really give much insight as to what he would be like as a husband cuz what we just saw wasn't really chan but his "alter ego" that protects him in a way. Yk we all have that one side of us that takes over as if on autopilot when we feel threatened in any way. I think that would be the same for chan, and if he were to feel comfortable with the idea of marriage and feel ready for that, the reading would be way way different. But i find future readings to not be much of my thing cuz thats way to unreliable cuz energy can change in so many ways, theres so many different outcomes... but we'll see how the other readings turn out and if all the guys have weird current energies that don't really answer what they'll be like as proper husband i may try a future reading.

[john-bitchester]

Bubbles watches Supernatural season 5, episode 22: swan song.

This is a 42 minute episode. It took me 2 hours and a half to get through becase I had so many feelings and thoughts. Enjoy

CARRY ON MY WAYWARD SOOOON, THERE'LL BE PEACE WHEN YOU ARE DOOONEEE. LAY YOUR WEARY HEAD TO REEEST, DON’T YOU CRY NO MOOOOORREEEEE

Ah gabe how I miss you

Not you zacharia I hate you

I never cared about a car as much as I have about a 1967 chevrolet impala

I love that Dean canonically picks out his dads car, because it is the same as his dads car, who chose it because is son recommended it to hem because it reminded the son of his dads car who...

IM SORRY

Sammy sitting on the hood like that does things to me

No no no dean youre being stupid

Wdym youre on board

AAAH DEAN LOOK AT YOU GROWING UP SEEING SAMMY AS A BIG BOY

Its still a stupid plan tho

Not normal about them

Nomnom blood

This gives a whole new meaning to milking

No poor sam look at his face he is stressed

'Angels don't sleep'

Didnt we already establish that he is humaned

WE TALKED ABOUT STAGE 2 SUICIDE IDIATION

'You go to lisa and pray to god shes dumb enough to take you in' HAHAHHAHA spoken like a true sibling

You're so silly sam you know dean would start a second apocalypse for you

SEE YA IN HELL

NO

The way I screamed

'When he gets in, keep fighting, don't give an inch'

'Yes sir'

NO SAM THATS BOBBY DONT YOU DARE YES SIR HIM

I cant tell if it's because this was how dickchester always talked to him so it's reflex, or if it’s Sam's way of saying 'youre like a father to me'

Imma go with both for my sanity

My friend bunbun: that john issues run deep with these boys

Me: The mariana trench would be impressed

'Oh I'm supposed to lie'

'Suuure... they'll be.. fiiiiine'

Cass I love you so, you are so real for this

That cannot be tasty

Or good for the stoomy

Oh my god Sam is high as a kite

Nooo not chuck going over the impala memoriessss

Noooooo

I need you to know that I'm watching this, hand clasped over my mouth, going NoOoOoOoOo

I have a feeling that the memories of the car will make sam able to grasp control again or smt

Also, dean is such a sentimental washcloth, rebuilding the car with the legos and the soldier man

Oh sam that was sexy of you (Zapping the demons by just closing his eyes)

'I live, he lives, we get our parents back'

Heres the thing, from videos and fic I know that at some point sam lives for a year or so without dean

So now im like, uh oh

I feel like this is an act

Its all an act

Ofcourse they knew the devil would know about the horsemen

Theyre his main henchmen, it would be stupid to think that the devil wouldnt know about the rings

Finally, the boy has memorised something (The spell for the cage)

aaaaaaaaahgg

COME ON SAMMY

aaaahshfhm fukb fgbukgxfubkrgxukb

NO NO NO NO NO

SAAAAM BE STRONG

......

Wtf Lucy that is so not funny

Pretend that Sam had won the fight with lucy in his brain

Only to then be like "jk"

Dean you shouldve just kicked him in the hole while his back was at you

Fidget spinner of power hihi

Why would he let dean live

Michael's vessel

NAH THE DEVIL JUST MADE A VERY FUNNY STAR WARS REFERNCE'

I suggest we become drunk' -cass

Oph my god these dumbasses really did think lucy wouldn't know of the rings

NoOoOoOo Bobby mourning his sooon

I am not well

I know what you can do, dean

You can have some gay sex with the angel

Knowing this was meant to be the end end makes it so much worse

I cant do this in my own oh my gosh

Im literally going like 'crying noise, noohoo Bunbuuun'

Them gazing th stars togehter on clear nights🥺🥺🥺🥺

Driving 2 days for a game, and a week for a concert

Heart goes auch

Nooooooo

Not okay about this

Its the Good Omens finale all over again

Chuck has grown on me

WELL THEN I AINT GONNA LET HIM DIE ALONE

Winchester pt3 you fool

I cant say i trust lucy, but hes making some good points

God is giving abusive father for sure

'You made me do this' he tells his kids

Another thougth, actually

Sam and dean where the perfect vessels because of ther lineage, cain and abel, i believe

But also bc they were representative of michael and lucy themselves

But hear me out. What if john and god are also reminiscent of each other

After all, the brothers couldn't be who they became without their father, have it be winchester or the angels

Both brothers (lucy & michael vs winchester) didnt have a mother

Had a father who was demanding

And both pairs of brothers, as established by the shwo, are the same. The loyal warrior who never doubted the father, and the fallen, who did

They could never become these people without the father, ergo, without god and john

We know john was a horrible father

So even ingoring what lucy is proposing here (god made me as I am) and my own opinions on God, the train of logic still assumes that God had to be, is, equally as abusive towards the brothers as z

John was towards the winchester brothers

Please tell me that cassete is 'Carry on wayward son' by kansas

Or no, even better, the one song by asia hahahha

WTF DEAN HAHAHAH THAT WAS NOT THE MUSIC I EXPECTED

SORRY AM I INTERUPTING SOMETHING

You know, whenever I'm annotating the episodes lke I'm doing now, it always takes me an hour to watch an episode instead of the forty minutes that it actually last

but at the speed I am annotating and thinking right now , it will genuinely take me twice as long.

like it will take me an hour and a half at least I think. (Ha! Bubbles. You fool. It nearly took you 2 hours and a half)

Youre next on my list buttercup

CASS WHERE THOSE YOUR FIRST BIG BOY WORDS! (Hey, assbutt!)

Not the molotov cocktail fhrnifhhf

WHAT THE FUCJ

CASTI3L WHAT THE DU JDUCK

Holy fuck

I need a moment

No

Sammy it's okay I'm here

Bunbun I am so unwell about this

Unwell

I KNEW IT

OH MY GOD I FUCKING CALLED IT

Im not crying youcrying

I love that they do this flasback bit with jus wind, and the 'tok' sound every now and then

Makes it a very strong scene

SCREAMING

ENDING ON THE HUG SCREAMING

The fact that the actual hug removes the white noise

Unwell

oh

Oh my god

Sam is going to pull michael with him

I can feel it

Okay I think this is one of the few times the bad cgi actually kinda ruined it for me

No

Hes all alone

He cant be

No one who could possibly begin to understand left

Have I mentioned Im not okay

Cass

The relief in my voice when I whispered this out loud just now is ludicrous

And now, kiss

'Cass are you god?' Oh sweetie

BOBBY

this is making me think of john milton

'And as they walk hand in hand, slowly their way through eden"

Along those lines

Chuck quit yer bitchin

Dean really went, 'okay god, its personal now'

Peace, or freedom?

Holy fuck

Because he made a promise

My stomach is genuinly physically aching

The fact that even deans voice sounds broken

Actually crying rn

What if chuck is god

WHAT THE FUCK CHUCK WHERE DID YOU GO

NAH DONT TELL ME IM FUCKING RIGHT

SAM WTF

Sam? Lucy?

Sam

Oh im sorry it cant stop here wtf

How where they ever plannning on stopping like this that is unholy

1h 30 later:

I know i started spn on my own accord, but I hope you know what you did

I was eating with my parent just now, and during the entired meal (now still) carry on was playing on repeat in my head. Coming from someone who typically lives a soundtrack-free life

Another hour later:

Still recovering

Have been having imaginative co-star interviews with jared padalecki for about 2 hours now. It's a coping mechanisnm

Literally my whole day was spn

I woke up with fic. Ate lunch with an episode. Watched the finale, read more fic

I am unwell

[1d1195]

HIIII IM BACK ahh ive missed you, the wedding is over im soooo tired, i danced sooo much my feet are KILLING me but its whtvr it was fun, and i met a lot on new people who were just so sweet ! summertime is soooo ughh to me tho the days are too long and its wayyyy to hot😭

I READ SUNFLOWER, HERE ARE MY THOUGHTS the part where she asked for his business card and he was like ‘i’d give her my whole wallet fr’ HAHAHA I LOVE HIM

Harry wanted to tell her that he would give her whatever she wanted for as long as they lived and then in their next life too. But instead, he simply nodded and tucked her card safely into his wallet. OH MY GODDDD you write the yearning so well i’m about to pass away

He wanted to call her Miss Sunflower or something similar, but he had one neuron still keeping him sane and decided ‘love’ was more neutral than not. this is the sweetest thing in the whole world omggggg😭😭🤍🤍🤍🤍 jealousrry is a cult fav and you do him so well

i saw you said you went to see niall ? THATS SO AWESOME i actually met a niall stan at the wedding, they played a 1d song (what makes you beautiful, basic but classic) and ofc i was going CRAZYYYY HAHAHA and we got to talking abt our favs ahhh it’s so nice to bond over something like that and we were talking abt how awesome it would be if the band decided to do a reunion tour🥹🤍✨

i have a new song !! “i love you, im sorry” by gracie abrams she had a whole new album come out and i love it (there’s another one called ‘blowing smoke’ SOO GOOD) but something abt that song it’s just sooooo amazing. i adore the bridge.

how are you !! missed you so much let me know what’s new with you love youuu <3333

~🎶

Hiiii! I've missed you too! Sounds like you had lots of fun with the wedding! Nice you met new people! IT'S WAY TOO HOT. It's just starting to turn to rain where I am and it's FINALLY bearable being 20 degrees cooler than it was the rest of this week!

I truly think Harry would only make money so he could give it to his gf. Like he's just so whipped in my head. I pray that's true.

😭 you're so sweet. I def am a female writer writing a man but it's so fun to imagine him so GONE for his lady

"He wanted to call her Miss Sunflower..." that was ME who wanted to call her Miss Sunflower but I thought it was too close to Miss Wildflower and I didn't want to take away from that 😭🙄 very irritated with myself about it tbh hahahahahahaha

I'm glad you think I do jealousrry Harry well because I don't think I do. Or I think I do a really understated one and I never know/feel it's enough

I think it should be a law you have to play WMYB at a wedding. My bff that I go to all my 1D related events with and send all my 1D related tiktoks to have discussed that i would simply play all their albums as a band and solo at my wedding and everyone would just have to enjoy. It's so nice you got to bond over it! I think it's amazing how music and artists can bring people together! I actually dread them doing a reunion tour in some ways. Of course I would be ecstatic but with the way concert ticket prices are, I really don't know if I could do it :/ And I'm sure it would be INSANE to get them anyway. I would LOVE to see them together again, don't get me wrong. I think there were a lot of things they didn't get to have closure on from their abrupt-ish ending. I also think it's CRIMINAL that the Made in the AM album wasn't toured. But I don't think I would be financially able to see them and that makes me really sad tbh 😭

I'm loving "I love you, I'm sorry" !!! It's def got a vision in my head 👀 You were the best, but you were the worst. Relatable 😭 I love it! It's def gonna be repeated for a few days! 🤭

IF SHE'S GOT A PULSE SHE MEETS YOUR STANDARDS NOW. GO OFF QUEEN. I would go off the grid if I knew that song was about me. I love it! I'm going to make a summer playlist for sure with it on there!

Nothing new here. I went for walks this week and just relaxed a lot. I'm hoping to not stress myself out too much this summer. Other than that 🤷‍♀️ nothing much here. I should reach out to a lot of my friends that I don't see often. The one thing that's hard as a teacher is I have a lot more free time in the summer (for which I'm very grateful) but my nonteacher friends don't want to hang out on a weeknight to get dinner 😂 it takes up like every weekend! But that's a me problem hahahaha

LOVE YOU!!!! 💕

xoxo

[post-office-by-the-bay]

hi covey!!!!

i havent been able to respond and interact with all ur posts since im not home atm but im sitting in hotel room bed writing this rn so! i have found my way to your other account tho😈 so im gonna write a little rant i hope you dont mind (even tho thats kinda what the account is made for, i still feel weird doing it!!) so feel free to ignore i just reallt want rant!

also wanna start it off by saying i hope youve been doing well and the college stress isnt affecting you too much!!

okiiii so anyway its my birthday tofay 😜😜 and for my bday weekend we went to chicago since its pretty close to where i live and i thiight it would be fun but sometjkng about me is just that i hate being away from home like idk i just love my room so idk why i wanted to do thid for my bday but ANYWAY.

friday and saturday were oretty fun even tho its so cold out but ive had an overall good time! the obly downside is my DAD bro. i dont think hes ever experienced true happiness in hus life bc if any tiny bad thing happens he gets so MAD and for NO REASON. i try to stay happy but its literally such a mood killer like how am i supoosed to enjoy my time wjen ur over here bitching and complaing about not getting the corner booth like. get over pls shut up i wanna be happy.

and then today i thoight we were gonna go to this museum and then meet up with my brither to go to the sears/willis tower but it got completely changed and i was so confused and we didnt do anytbing k wanted to do that day. like i wanted kbbq as my bday dinner like it was the MAIN reason i wanted to go to chicaho but they switched uo and said it was too far away. like okay then… im like fine whatever just choose some place else bc idk what i want and i dont wanna decide and THEY KEPT ASKING ME AND BOTHERING ME LIKE PLS LEAVE ME ALONE. and then we were just walking around everywhere trying to fund a place to eat and i was getting annoyed so i just said olay i wanna go here, AND THEY JUSR GO SOMEWHERE ELSE EVEN THO THEY WERE ASKING ME WHERE I WANTED TO GO??? pls.. jusg make up ur mind. and then when we finally got to a place bc i was like yall im tired lets just go to fresking shake shack they starting bitching about the prices and i get we dont have a lot of money but it just made me feel so guilty??

anyway i felt way better bc me and my cousin started making fun of my dad so i felt 10x #wcousin😇

now im in the hotel room listening to my dad snore SO FREAKING LOUF LIKE HOW AM I GONNA SLEEP.

OKAY IM SO SORRY FOR WRITING SO MUCH LIKE YOU DO NOT HAVE TO RESD ALL THIS COVEY OMG

TLDR; birthday was rlly my dads rlly whiny but im chill now!

have a good day/night covey sorry writing so much😭😭

-🐌

beloved snail anon,

do not feel bad for ranting!! that's the whole point of this blog!! we just need to ignore the fact that i ignored it for so long lmao.

first and foremost, HAPPIEST OF (late) BIRTHDAYS TO YOU!! I KNOW YOUR DAD WAS BEING A BIT OF A BUMMER (kill all men) BUT YOU DESERVED TO HAVE THE BESTEST DAY AND IM SORRY HE TRIED TO TAKE THAT AWAY.

my dad is, from the sound of it, very similar to your dad. and i've grown to kinda just throw it back at him. it took years of warming up to it, but now i just treat him the way he treats us and he shuts up real real quick, ya know?? anyways, im so so sorry that he was being sucky (again kill all men) and you totally didn't deserve that!! wishing you a better birthday for next year!!

all my love,

covey 𐙚⊹ ࣪ ˖

[taylorbuggtaylortot]

Wanna know someone’s true character? Be genuine and loving to them & watch if they take advantage or not. They give back or burn out? They give in or give out? 🤷🏻‍♀️ You shootin your own gahd damn self In the foot. Imma walk away happy as fuck knowing I ain’t color blind when a mother fucker wanna show they true colors.

Girls want men who will treat them like a slut while loving them more than anything. It’s a drug problem. That’s why we accept poor choices of men. We don’t know our worth. I know that

Reading this helped me figure out what I know. Writing helps me figure out what I know.

Home girl told me she felt my freedom the other day and it resonated with me on a whole other level. Probably changed my life and perspective a little bit.. level ups. Lol

This is who I am though. Been confused about how I been feeling but if you know who you are, you figure those emotions out. I haven’t been able to label my emotions properly lately, I guess having gotten out of my last situation, I was looking for my new self. The one I’m creating with out him. And I’ve been acting sad as hell while looking happy all the time... I’ve been being strong. I feel like being free means losing everything because it takes losing everything to know what true freedom is. Im learning how to lose everything and not care. For the record, im not talking about my house and everything like that I lost oddly enough, I’m talking about losing him . I loved him more than I even realized but it was toxic. I’m speaking on my breakup finally I guess to myself. I am admitting all of this to myself. Idk why I blocked it out?? Most people don’t know this unless I’m friends with them personally and so anyone who knows found out by paying attention to the fact I moved and asking me about it. But he was my everything. So yes that makes me sad unfortunately. I don’t want to feel that way but I do. I don’t wanna feel down but that emotion demands to be felt and I don’t know why. I guess I’m still figuring out a lot. I thought being free would fix everything and it did and it didn’t. I guess I’m figuring out what really matters to me. I never realized how much I didn’t actually care about anything other than myself.

And I thought I was the most giving person. I did it cause I was taught you were supposed to, not cause I cared about them.,I had respect. But I know undoubtably I gave a complete fuck about this one man... until I didn’t. I feel like I’ve been conditioned to think being free will make me happy but what about love? Love makes people happy and that’s just a fact if you still have human emotions and you aren’t that fuckin numb yet. Maybe it’s hope. I guess I need to learn love for other people including myself. I have standards and respect towards myself but I don’t think that I have love towards myself.

I don’t care about myself even tho I do things to make myself look like I do , it’s not even cause I actually do all the time. I just believe in doing what’s right. Im un numbing myself from a state I lived in to deal with my last relationship. I’ve been liking dudes who don’t care cause I’m used to being that person and it makes me draw connection but now in partners im drawing connection on better things to want better for myself. Next time both of us are caring and I don’t know how to make sure of the others persons side but im gonna have to do that if I’m gonna love again.,that just breeds more trust issues ?ha... just realized this whole thing is a conversation with myself. Am I saying that just because I’m free should mean im happy though? We all think freedom makes us happy.,

I’m feeling free. I realized that’s how I look and if you know me you can read it too I’m sure. I got rid of my monster and I have never been more in touch with myself while feeling chaotically out of place simultaneously knowing that I’m right where i am meant to be.

Funny how being free makes you so tired in life because losing everything you ever wanted is stressful as fuck. Especially when it was your only means for stability after exiting the most unstable phase of your life after never knowing it.

I’ve been dissociated and auto piloting my whole entire life. I am becoming my higher self now that I developed the ability to realize what I was doing to put in the work to want to do better. I was made to feel like it was impossible love me.. I knew it was acting or what they thought they were supposed to do so they did it. my whole life despite everyone’s efforts to not act that way, I just knew I didn’t belong to my family because they acted like they cared which they did but I was never a priority like they had other things to worry about and I wanted them to include me and love me how they loved other people they loved ... that’s how I knew it was different and it wasn’t real love cause they treated some one else better than me.

Did I just say that treating some one good means you love them? I don’t believe that either. The people who love you like really love you are gonna be the hardest on you, and I just started realizing that I was so damaged of losing my mom and sisters at a young age that I never properly opened myself up to being loved… I’m starting to believe that it’s not. I don’t care and I give no fucks but at the same time you’d say because I have that care

- [ ]

[ssamie]

epilogue. “your girlfriend’s kinda hot”

kozume kenma x fem dazai!reader

(bsd x hq)

tw: mentions of suicide and suggestive themes + dirty jokes

masterlist.          suicide freak!

"hey uh, welcome to my stream i guess" he said as he spared the camera a quick glance "im not really playing tonight because an incident has recently occurred in this household" kenma said with a tired sigh 

nobody else knew it, but the said 'incident' was y/n accidentally setting half of their living room on fire 

the reason? apparently, she wanted to try burning herself to death in the furnace. obviously, it didn't work. and all that's left from that is more shit for kenma to clean up and a trip to yosano-san. 

kenma is stressed. and y/n is still alive. both of them are facing problems. 

"can you please wear a maid outfit- no."

kenma shook his head as he continued playing, glancing at the chat once in a while to read the veiwers' questions and comments

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: how about cat ears?! 

user: ^^ cATBOY CATBOY CATBOY 

user: u suck at this game wtf

kuroo.tetsu: hey kenma ;) 

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

"first of all, i do not suck at minecraft thank you very much" kenma scoffed 

"second of all, go away kuroo. im still mad at you" 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: LMFAOOO kuroo what did u do?? 💀💀

user: he probably broke kenma's pc 

user: PLSS he's the one kenma’s throwing shade at on twitter 

kuroo.tetsu: STOP THE SLANDER 😔✋🏼

user: rooster head lookin ass 

user: ^^ NOT THE HAIR 

kuroo.testsu: 😃😃

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

kenma sighed as he continued building a cute little cottage. he was currently vibing, just building y/n a cute cottage for her to probably burn later on. 

and he decided it would be nice to go on stream since his oh-so-lovely girlfriend was still out for work. 

ah yes, kenma has somehow kept y/n alive all those years. 

barely. 

hence why his phone was being bombarded with messages from her, all of which being blurry selfies. 

the photos had her sporting a huge grin while atsushi panicked in the background. 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: ayo, ur phone's blowing up 

user: do you have a girlfriend? 

user: KODZUKEN LET ME SUCK UR TOES 😋😋🤩

user: ^ ayo chill 😃

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

kenma simply ignored them and continued on with his task. all was going well until a loud slam was heard. his cat-like eyes widened as he heard a familiar voice singing from downstairs, it was undoubtedly y/n. 

kenma chuckled nervously and muted his mic. 

but of course, cute dumb catboy didn't actually mute his mic. haha <3

he ignored all the questions in the chat, all of them being  speculations that he has a girlfriend. which he does, but they simply did not need to know that <3

"kenma~" she yelled out "i have a surprise for you!!" she said, followed by menacing giggles. 

kenma glanced at the camera before hopping off his gaming chair and peeking his head out of the door. 

"y/n, im streaming!! stay down there!" he yelled out in panic 

"aw, you're playing hard to get aren't ya?" she chuckled 

kenma deadpanned as he saw her limping up the stairs, with her bandages torn and unravelled, same with her clothes. he didn't really think much of it since this is usually how she comes home. 

its most likely just due to work and/or another suicide attempt.

"so, kenma.. you'll never know what just happened to me today" she started off with a goofy grin 

"im streaming, atleast let me turn it off first-" 

she paid no mind to him as she peeled off her ruined coat and pointed to her poorly bandaged stomach

"i got stabbed!" 

"you got what?!"

kenma furrowed his brows as he immediately rushed over to his side, cradling her face and waist as he inspected her injuries

"are you okay, kitten?" he asked worriedly 

"yep, apparently it wasnt deep enough to be fatal" she sighed dejectedly 

"please don't be sad about that." kenma groaned "can you undress?" 

"ara ara~ whats this?" she cooed "you're getting real bold, kenma" she smirked at him 

she unbuttoned her shirt and started pulling down on her skirt "but since you asked so nicely-" 

kenma simply sighed and shook his head. "i was gonna prepare you a bath but now im considering leaving you here to die" 

"but the second option would've been better though" she smiled at him 

"oh my fucking god." 

kozume kenma. (22)

╰─▸ university student, stock trader, pro-gamer, youtuber, ceo of bouncing ball lpt. 

╰─▸ y/n's struggling boyfriend. definitely needs a pay after all he's been through.

╰─▸ currently panicking because his girlfriend got stabbed.

l/n y/n. (22)

╰─▸ operative/member of the armed detective agency. 

╰─▸ kenma's girlfriend. kinda dumb, very hot to compensate for it. still hasn't died yet. 

╰─▸ currently bleeding and wounded. also hoping for severe blood loss.

"kenma, did you know" she mused in a teasing tone "lack of sleep and too much stress could possibly lead to poor memory and lack of awareness" 

kenma looked up at her with a look of confusion. he was currently kneeled down before her while she was sat on the bed as he cleaned her wound up with a damp towel. 

"why are you telling me this?" he asked 

"i just thought it probably applied to you" she snickered 

"why? i didnt forget anything-" 

he cut himself off with a huge intake of air. he slowly turned his head to look at the screen which still had his stream going on. to make it worse, the camera was on and they were both clearly in the camera's field of view. 

to make things worse worse, his mic was on the whole time and the live chat was in shambles. 

"i hate it here" he sighed 

kenma laid his head on her lap as he continued on patching her up, honestly not caring that this whole scene was being recorded for thousands or millions of people to see. 

"well, atleast the internet could finally see my beauty before i die" she laughed 

she ran her fingers through kenma's hair as he grumbled under his breath. kenma was a pretty private person. he made sure not to overshare, given his current 'influencer' status. and he was planning on keeping his relationship a secret, though it seems he can't do that anymore. 

"might as well say hi" she shrugged 

so of course, she then decided to walk up to the camera looking utterly dishevelled and roughed up. 

for context, the newly wrapped bandages around her stomach was being stained already by a crimson red hue and it was only getting worse the more she moved, undoubtedly messing up her wound. 

"hi, im kenma's girlfriend and if i see you flirting with him i will make you regret it" she grinned 

"y/n!" kenma groaned from the bed "you're close to dying right now, turn the stream off" 

ignoring him, she proceeded to read the veiwers' comments, laughing at some of them while she joked around. 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: heLLO?!?! 

user: GE HAS A GIRLFRIEND NOOO

user: bruh, did i just hear that right? were you fuckin stabbed? 

user: ur kinda hot tho

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

kenma furrowed his brows as he reluctantly walked up behind her, reading the comments with varying reactions 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: well damn, hot bloody girl comes in and suddenly im lesbian

user: kenma looks so done

kuroo.tetsu: hi y/n ;) 

user: HER NAME IS Y/N

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

"jesus christ shut up, kuroo" kenma grumbled out with a sigh 

"yup! yup! im y/n, and no, i am not a criminal. i swear." she shook her head 

"i got an injury from my job, that's all." she cleared up 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: tangina nyo sana ol

user: MSKAKAKKA

user: THIS IS LOWKEY ICONIC

user: time to scratch another gamer boy off my possible bf list 😔

user: girl wtf happened to u

user: that's wack bro 🚶‍♀️

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

"great question, random person from the internet!" she beamed "see, what happened was.." 

"i went on a certain mission and got severely injured. though, when i called for help nobody responded" she said 

kenma furrowed his brows at her words. "why didn't anybody respond?" he asked. she sighed and fiddled with her torn bandages, pouting her lips as she does so. 

"well, when i told them that i was finally on death's door, all they said to me was 'congratulations!' and all that.." she said "what's your take on that, hm?" she asked kenma 

"im not surprised" he said 

she grinned at his words and leaned in for a kiss. "you're so mean to me, kenma~" she whined 

she licked her lips as she held his blushing face in her hands, she nuzzled their noses as she leaned in closer to him. 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

kuroo.tetsu: oh shit 😳

user: we all know where this is heading ;) 

user: sana ol talaga punyemas 

user: AYO CHILL 

user: why we goin so fuckin fasstttt 😳

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

kenma hastily turned the camera off as soon as y/n's lips touched his. 

"kitten, were still- hmph-" 

he was only silenced as she slipped her tongue in his mouth, smirking lightly as she ran her fingers through his hair 

"thanks babe." she said as she pulled away, giving him a soft peck on his cheek and a nod "anyways.." she hummed as she turned the camera on once again 

she looked through the chat while kenma slaps his face to get rid of his blush. 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: ur fuckin freaky 

kuroo.tetsu: oya oya 😼😼

user: MS MAAM I JUST MET U AND I LOVE U ALREADY WJABSJSJJS

user: not me blushing chiiilllleeeeee 🏃‍♀️

user: KENMA IS FLUSTERED

kuroo.tetsu: kenma, i didnt expect this from u 😼

user: im so fucking JEALOUS GRR😡

user: girl r u bleeding rn 😃

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

upon reading a certain comment, she subconsciously grazed her fingers against her bandaged wound. her eyes slightly widening as she felt a concerning amount of wetness seeping through

she glanced at kenma who was still calming himself down and inspected her wound 

"oh my.." she muttered, though she couldn't help but let a smile slip through 

so like any normal person would do, she simply ignored her bleeding wound and the fact that she was getting a bit lightheaded. haha <3

"anyways, let's answer some questions!" she beamed 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: what's ur full name

user: what's ur job miss girl 

user: are you possibly looking for a gf, because i am more 

than willing to take the spot 🚶‍♀️

user: how did you meet?? 

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

"alright, those are all very nice questions" she chuckled. kenma, who's now calmed down, sat down beside her to look at the chat. 

"first, im l/n y/n" she mused "nice to meet ya" 

"second im a detective! mhm, im cooler than your fathers" 

"third, it depends, belladonna" she cooed as she sent the camera flirty smirk "are you perhaps willing to join me in a double suicide?" 

"oh god.." kenma grumbled. he pouted at her and shook his head in disapproval. "don't flirt with random girls" he whined 

"why not?" 

"uh- because i am your beloved boyfriend, is that not good enough of a reason??" 

"... anyways, we met at a cafe way back in high school" she said with a smile "also, i asked him to join me on a double suicide" she said 

she was smiling and nodding as if it was the most normal thing in the world, all while kenma nods along 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: wtf are u okay 🗿

kuroo.tetsu: teenage romance 🤩

user: cute ❤️

user: im concerned ❤️

user: ur a detective?? cool

user: LMAOO I'LL GO ON A DOUBLE SEWER SLIDE 

WITH U MOMMY 😩😩😋

user: ^^ SAME 😩

user: CHOKE ME WITH THOSE BANDAGES MOMMAE 😩

user: u r still bleeding 🚶‍♀️        

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

kenma was simply glaring at the chat as more compliments and flirtatious comments came flowing in, all of which were directed to his girlfriend. 

"this is why i didn't wanna let people know about you.." kenma grumbled 

"aww, why not?" she asked with a playful pout 

"people are flirting with you." he sighed "also, stop asking for my girlfriend's onlyfans! she doesn't even have one!" he snarled

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: LMAOO CATBOY IS ANGRY 😩

user: y/n-senpai spit on me 😡😡

user: drop the onlyfans 

user: chupapi munyanyo 😩

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

"anyways, i'd hate to ruin the mood" she chimed in with a sluggish giggle "but im so wet kenma" she whined out 

a menacing smirk was etched on her lips as kenma spluttered in response, a bright red hue covering his face almost instantly as he faced her with widened eyes 

"y-y/n! why would you say that?!" he whisper shouted 

"cuz i am" she whined out as she grabbed his hand and trailed it down her abdomen 

she faced the camera and gave them a shit-eating grin as kenma mumbled out incoherent words 

"y/n we should-" he cut himself off as he felt the concerning amount of blood drip down his whole arm 

kenma's face paled as he looked up to see her smiling like a kid in a candy store, completely unbothered. 

"y/n, you idiot! why didn't you tell me!" kenma exclaimed 

"um- my girlfriend is bleeding. excessively. so uh- bye i guess" it was all he said before hastily ending his stream and turning off his computer. 

"y/n, let's get you to a hospital" he said as he reached down to carry her away. though she simply slapped his hands off and closed her eyes. 

"nope. this is my time, kenma. don't ruin it for me" she said 

"you're fucking dying!!" 

"well, would you like to join me?" 

"no"

"damn." she muttered in response 

"so...wanna fuck?" she asked sheepishly 

"for the love of god-" 

this was so messy :/

[bitchiha]

Kakashi and/or Yamato NSFW headcannons? I high key love ur blog btw 🥺✨❤

A/N: UHM YES LETS DOOOO THIS I LOVE YOU BTW AND THANK YOU!! <3 Yamato and Kakashi are like.. my favs. So thank you. I wrote for both of them!

Another side note: I decided to post some requests b4 my angsts bc Im almost done them and I can't neglect them anymore. I am the worlds biggest procrastinator, but I am trying my best.

✎ NSFW (Yamato, Kakashi)

Kakashi

I mentioned this before but both him and Yamato are touch starved. The only difference is that Kakashi needs it more. Like Yamato can control himself a little bit at least, but not Kakashi. Like if he’s gone on a mission longer than 3 days Kakashi is losing his mind.

Best horny Kakashi is horny Kakashi after reading his nasty books. Hands down. Man, it just gets him so worked up because he’s not imagining the characters in the books. Noooo. He’s imagining you and him.

Once when he was reading Icha Icha in bed he was reading a particularly nasty chapter I hope you know where this is going... Once the chapter was done he put the book down and looked over at you like all sly and shit. All the sudden he’s like “come sit on my face.” And the way he says it is so like.. idk how to describe it, but it’s like sly and cocky and curious all at once.

First time you ever sat on his face and it was the closest thing that you’ve ever gotten to heaven girl. Like you were seeing stars.

He’s into anything and everything tbh. Wants to try everything he reads in Icha Icha for himself. Which is amazing bc there’s always something new he wants to try. Everytime.

Loves pet names. Definitely calls you a whole dictionary full of them and they vary depending on what you two are doing exactly.

He likes giving oral a lot tbh. Like a lot a lot. It’s probably bc he knows he’s so damn good at it lmfoaoaoao. He’s read this stuff a hundred times over in his books, so he knows how his tongue should be moving and all that good stuff. Wants you to sit on his face all the time bc he likes how good it makes you feel. Also, likes when you are vocal.

Likes lingerie but he will have it off you in 0.5 seconds so he can drill your shit tbh. You’d have to swat his hands away from trying to peel them off, but you can’t keep them away for more than 5 minutes.

Such a tease. He won’t admit it, but he actually likes making you cry when you're getting it on lol. Just a little. It makes him feel like he’s living out a scene in one of his books and it makes him so much hornier. Like he’s probably denied you 10 times now and so you’re just a mess and he gets so carried away. But when he finally gives in it’s the best dick ever. Bye lol.

Will want to do sooo much nasty things in public. He’d actually be good at hiding what the two of you are doing though, for the most part. I don’t think he’d do anything super crazy though. Mostly things that work you up to get prepared for when you two go home.

Has definitely done it with you in a public washroom. Clamped his hand on your mouth so you wouldn’t get caught and girl he rocked your shit good.

Kakashi is both an ass and tits guy, but you know what he likes better? Thighs. Loves having them wrapped around him, straddling him, lol likes his face being between them and anywhere he can grip them tbh. Like even in public he’ll have a hand somehow on your thigh 24/7. Doesn’t matter if their chubby, small, whatever. He. loves. them. Also loves hips.

Doesn’t mind if you ever wanna take the lead. Go down on him after he comes back from a mission. Shower w him, take a bath with him, literally just do it. But take care of him good. He will repay you later.

I don’t think he’s loud. Probably likes giving you validation a lot, but you’ll only get some noises out of him. That doesn’t mean he isn’t enjoying himself bc he is, my goooosh he is.

However, after missions he’s just too tired to stop himself and he will get a lottt more vocal. Plus it’s his tired voice so it’s 10x more attractive. Lots of Groans.

So like I said, he may not be loud but look at his face. You can tell he’s enjoying himself by his facial expression. Like if his eyes are squeezed shut and his mouth is open slightly you are making him see stars. Or if he’s really focused and intent, that’s when he is doing something he just read about in one of his books and boy is he enjoying it. Orrr if hes got a cocky smirk that’s when you know he’s gonna tease the life out of you.

Has dealt with Naruto, Sakura, Sai and Sasukes attitude problems all day. So if you wanna try and give him some at home he will lack the patience. Will be so rough and you’ll like it, but it will hurt to sit down for a few days.

Has 0 self control if you wear skirts or dresses. Like he just wants to put his hands under it. You look so pretty in them too and he can’t stop staring. Has definitely left your skirt / dress on when he’s fucking you at least once.

CEO of making you blush. Gets you flustered all the time. He literally can never get enough of you. Sometimes you’ll just catch him giving you that stare. Or just like checking you out and you’re like: Kakashi we are in the middle of the village control yourself.

You really can’t get him to be jealous. You’ve tried everything and anything but he never gets riled up. He can make you jealous, but he doesn’t do it a lot. I think the only time you can really get him worked up like that is if you unintentionally make him jealous. If he knows you’re trying to, he won’t let it work. But if you don’t know it makes him so flustered. Like if you tell him you’re going on a 4 day mission with Yamato. He’ll be pissed lol. Why the fuck didn’t Lady Tsunade tell you two to go together?? Why you and tree boy?

Then all the sudden he’s making out with you in the middle of your kitchen. Muttering under his breath about how unfair that is. Like this man is gonna have to sit here for 4 days by himself while you’re out on a mission with Yamato?? Frustrated sex lol. Also will definitely leave hickeys. Have fun covering them up on your stupid 4 day mission with yAmATo. <3

Another thing; you’ve done it on every surface possible in your apartment. The kitchen table, the bathroom counter, the shower, every gosh darn wall. Probably even on a chair at your dinner table... What can I say. HES WHORE KNEE

Yamato

You will definitely be eachother’s first times. If you’re with him you’re with him for the long run. He isn’t gonna give himself to anyone like that. Nope, you’ll know you’re stuck with him once he starts to get intimate.

That being said, I don’t know why but I don’t think he’d be very self conscious about himself tbh. Like he’s touch starved as fuck already and so inexperienced so like.. now that he’s experiencing physical contact like he’s never had before my guy is short circuiting. Any touch from you feels wayyy to good for him and he could care a less about anything else when he gets going.

Also, he’s kinda loud - like not the type to scream lol but I mean like .. if you’re making him feel good (literally anything you do makes him feel good tbh), then you will know. Looots of groaning and grunts. Omggg and if he needs to keep really quiet he will probably muffle his moans by burying his face in your neck or tits lol.

I don’t think he’s the type to dirty talk too much or degrade at all. The only time he will really get into dirty talk, being rough and maybe some degrading is if you make him jealous. It only works if you use Kakashi for it and my god you’re asking for trouble if you do

Say something like “wow Kakashi you’re really strong,” or laugh at all his jokes and Yamato will seethe quietly. You’ve got to keep that up for a while to get him super worked up and when you do.. HE WILL DEFINITELY GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT.

When you get home he drilllls your ass girl. Like you’re all teary eyed because he’s been denying your orgasms and now he’s drilling you into the mattress oml. You’re like begging him and sobbing and he’s so fucking mad lol like he doesn’t care

“Stop crying. You thought everything Kakashi said was just so funny tonight, so go ahead and laugh, laugh like how you were laughing with him. Not so funny now is it?” “Think he can make you feel like this? Didn’t think so.”

Will feel so bad in the morning. Like he’ll actually feel so bad. Will make up for it in any way you ask him too. You liked it though and you riled him up on purpose, you won’t tell him though. You 1000/10 do it again. Kisses you all over to make up for it.

Everytime you do, you can’t look Kakashi in the eye for a good week bc you’ll only think of Yamato drilling your ass.

Praise kink 10/10. He will probably be so depressed and will lowkey cry if you degrade him. What he likes is praise. Fucking fuel that mans ego and be a vocal for him too ;) he likes knowing that he’s rocking your shit good.

CALL HIM CAPTAIN like he’s not really into being called sir or daddy or anything like that but my lord.. if you call him Captain.. ugh. It gets him everytime. Also darling too.

Uhm he realllyyy likes when you take care of him after missions. Especially if it’s a long mission or one with Team 7 because that shit stresses him the fuck out. He’ll have so much frustration he’ll need to get out by the time he comes home.

Perch your ass on the couch and wait for him. Bonus if you cooked him food first. Or if you wanna run a shower for him while he eats. He will insist you join him.

Also... He’s not slick at all when he introduces ideas like that, he probably says it bluntly like.. “y/n.. I really want to take a shower with you right now.” and his face would get all red too lol

But after some missions he’s just way too tired to fuck your ass up. This is usually like after most of his missions with Team 7. He will still somehow manage to be horny tho. Like he’s been gone for days and had to deal with moody teenagers the whole time and he would really love if you just sucked his dick rn. That always reallyyy gets him going. Probably will cum fast bc of how good it feels to him tho, but there’s a lot of it y’know. He’d also be loud too. Like too lazy to try and keep it down loud. Lots of groaning.

Like I said, he’s horny as fuck. Literally being around you just turns him on sometimes. Even at home. Like If you wear a tank top with no bra when you’re lounging around, he’s already horny. Short shorts? Hor-fucking-ny!! Sometimes he’ll get embarrassed and hide it from you, but let’s be real you feel the same way about him so it’s fine

Titty guy 100%. I’m sorry but like if you have big tits don’t expect him not to bury his face in them. Always gives them extra attention. Likes when your riding him and their bouncing. Wear Lacey bras, he loves them so much and he will keep them on the whole time so he can just admire it on you.

He doesn’t like the idea of doing anything in sexual in public. He has a reputation to uphold and he is not about to throw it out the window like that no matter how much he wants too. Its frustrating sometimes bc like you could be walking around the village together and he gets a good glimpse of your ass and now he’s thinking some nasty things. Then he’s got a really uncomfortable hard on to hide till you get home.

He gives you splinters by accident sometimes. Like idk how. Especially if youre sucking him off. His hands are gripping your shoulders and you feel a prick on your collarbone and you yelp. He’ll apologize profusely, but he can’t control it when he feels like this so it happens sometimes. You get used to it though. Won’t admit it but he doesnt even try to control it if his dicks down your throat bc.. when you yelp it feels reallyyy good.

I’ve always had a thing for Yamato.. so I kinda went off on this LOOL <3

[princessamericachavez]

Fjorester in the Bjreaus talk

It’s yelling about Fjorester hours. I haven’t done this breakdowns in a while but there’s so much to analyze in that Bjreau’s talk and so much subtext and admissions and feelings in Fjord’s explanations that I really need to go step by step

this is mostly focused on the Fjorester side of the conversation because so many people have already broken down the BY in it and maybe i will too later but for now let me focus on my main OTP because wow 

Beau: So…. Jester

Fjord: *pikachu panic*

Fjord: There it comes. I was wondering when that melodic intro was gonna hit. 

Fjord: J-J-Jester?

THE WAY HE STUTTERS HER NAME. IM SO SOFT. 

Beau: You know what I’m gonna ask, dude, right? Like, what’s the deal?

Fjord, still deflecting: when you come with the ‘dude’, yes, I know what you wanna as.

Fjord, getting serious suddenly: What? What about Jester?

THAT’S THE FACE YOU MAKE WHEN YOU KNOW YOU’VE BEEN CAUGHT ON UR CRUSH AND UR TRYING TO PLAY IT COOL BUT YOU’RE FREAKING OUT ENTIRELY

I MEAN THAT SMILE

Beau: 

Fjord:

Beau:

THEY BOTH KNOW. THEY ARE JUST DARING THE OTHER TO SAY IT OUT LOUD. 

Beau, finally giving in: You know how she feels about you. Or, at least, how she did. I don’t know if she still does.

*Fjord, immediately, starts touching his mouth in that nervous mannerism he always has when his image insecurities are brought up, like he wants to hide his tusks*

*i start quietly sobbing*

Fjord: I don’t either! I have no idea. 

DO YOU HEAR ME SCREAMING ABOUT FJORD, AFTER 108 EPISODES, ACKNOWLEDGING ALL THE FLIRTING JESTER USED TO DO AND THE FACT THAT SHE MIGHT HAVE HAD A CRUSH ON HIM EVEN IF HE DOESN’T KNOW IF THAT’S STILL THE CASE?

HE’S NEVER ACKNOWLEDGED THAT BEFORE

Fjord: I’m actually the less clued in as to how Jester feels. I actually tried to… ask, but I don’t know. 

WHEN FJORD? YOU HAVEN’T ASKED. SO WHEN DID YOU TRY? WHEN DID YOU WANT TO AND DIDN’T? WHAT CONVERSATION WAS YOU CAREFULLY TRYING TO SEE IF SHE STILL LOVES YOU? I NEED ANSWERS

Beau: You have to kinda be direct with Jester. Like, if you tried to side-step it-

Fjord: I get that. It’s just that there are more pressing matters at hand

I KNEW HE WASN’T GOING TO DO ANYTHING DURING TC BECAUSE SHE’S SO STRESSED ALREADY AND HE WANTS HER TO HAVE HER TIME AND ALL THEIR SUPPORT WITHOUT ADDING STRESS

Fjord: And… I feel like I’m the fourth version of myself since I left Port Damali. And I feel like it could change again in a month or three months. I feel as if the ground is shifting underneath my feet every few nights that I wake up. And it’s crazy, I actually love cause it’s all been for the better, it no matter how crazy it’s been, but what I wanted when this all began is so far in the past I can’t… I forget about it sometimes. It comes for me in the middle of the night. But… Jester is hard to ignore. 

I HAVE (as you might expect) SO MANY FEELINGS ABOUT THIS WHOLE LITTLE MONOLOGUE 

FJORD SUMMING UP SO MUCH OF HIS ARC AND HOW HE’S STILL NOW TRYING TO FIND HIMSELF AND WHO HE REALLY IS AND HOW HE KEEPS CHANGING AND GROWING

but clearly that lack of stability, as much as it thrills him, it also makes him anxious, not knowing who he will be next and what he will believe and what he will want

AN ALLUSION TO HIS DEATH THAT WE NEVER TALKED ABOUT BUT CLEARLY —CLEARLY— IS STILL IN HIS MIND AND SOMEONE NEEDS TO ADRESS ASAP PLS 

And then, right there after the nod to his death, Jester comes back into the statement. Fjord describes the changes and turmoil in his life like all of that is already too much to also focus on love… and then says but she’s still there, in my mind, by my side, all the time. In that mess of these pasts few months, Jester is his lighthouse

Beau: Yeah, no. I- I know! I’m pretty certain literally everyone has a crush on her. 

Fjord *panics like that Joey meme*: WHAT?

Beau: Like, at least all of Mighty Nein. I don’t know, though, but I’m pretty sure everyone she meets is like ‘well, I’d maybe kill for you, yeah’

Fjord: No, yeah, I totally agree with. 

ME TOO BJREAUS. ME TOO. 

Fjord: No, I- where is she?

I’M SO SAD THAT FJORD MISSED HIS PERCEPTION FOR HER BECAUSE I WONDER WHY TRAVIS WANTED TO KNOW SO BADLY 

I HAVE THE FEELING THERE WAS SOMETHING THERE OTHER THAN BEING CAREFUL SHE WOULDN’T HEAR HIM

Fjord: I... 

LOVE HER? WHAT WERE YOU GOING TO SAY FJORD WHAT

THIS PAUSE IS SO LONG IT’S AGING ME

Fjord: You know when someone makes you feel a way that you don’t think you have any right to feel? Or you never thought that you might?

I AM SCREAMING  

FJORD

BABY 

WHY DON’T YOU THINK YOU’RE EVEN ALLOWED TO LOVE HER

WHY NOT??

YOU DESERVE LOVE AND TO BE LOVED AND YOU ABSOLUTELY CAN LOVE HER LIKE PLS TRAVIS WHY ARE YOU GIVING ME ALL THIS PINING MY ROMANTIC ASS CAN’T HANDLE THIS

BUT ALSO LOOK AT THAT SMILE

HE’S SO IN AWE WITH HIS OWN FEELINGS AND HAPPINESS

Fjord: And that feels... off... because I should know how I feel or what I want! 

*low wisdom frustration intensifies*

Fjord: But... there’s a gravity around Jester, at least to me, and she’s the one I’ve known longest in this new part of my... life. And I really thought that when this started there would be an end for me in this, and I would get even or retribution or payback and then I’d be... done. And it hasn’t been that way at all! It shriveled up and died and in its place seven new interests sprouted and... 

[i can’t type the whole Academy thing, im too tired and this is so long already but what a great throwback]

Listen listen listen tho

i wanna talk about this

i wanna talk about fjord noticing jester’s crush and not acting on this because he was convinced the m9 were temporary

i want to talk about a part of him always feeling like this will eventually end and be ripped away from him and how then it kept going and going 

and this woman he met was just such a steady and supportive presence in his life through it all that finally, finally after months, he can’t deny that she’s part of his life for good??

but that also explains what he said before and how he’s afraid that he’ll change again and lose this

like, there’s SO MUCH TO UNPACK HERE GUYS SO MUCH ABOUT THEIR EARLY HISTORY AND WHERE THEY STAND NOW

Fjord: I... I... I want Jester to be happy. 

Fjord: I do feel v-v-very strongly for her. 

FJORD LOOK SO FRUSTRATED WITH HIMSELF AS HE —WHO IS KNOWN FOR HIS SILVER TONGUE— STRUGGLES TO PUT INTO WORDS HIS FEELINGS AND KEEPS FREAKING STUTTERING SO MUCH IM SO

Fjord: But I also know, when this began, her affections might have been based entirely on whimsy... I don’t know!

I AM LIVING FOR THIS ANGST

FIRST OF ALL: SECOND CONFIRMATION THAT FJORD NOTICED ALL THE FLIRTING

SECOND OF ALL: HIS INSECURITIES COMING FORTH AND TELLING HIM MAYBE SHE NEVER LIKED HIM ANYWAY

THIRD AND FOREMOST: I FREAKING LOVE THIS TROPE OF PINING SWITCHAROO AND THE WAY THIS REFLECT JESTER’S DOUBTS DURING THE PIRATE ARC ABOUT MAYBE FJORD NOT BEING WHO SHE FIRST MET AND THE WAY THEY KEEP SECOND GUESSING THEIR OWN JUDGMENT OF EACH OTHER EVEN WHEN THEY KNOW EACH OTHER THE BEST

AND LISTEN LISTEN IM JUST

this is the perfect parallel to her talk with caleb in darktow ok

and im fucking living for this angst and this doubts and to see fjord yearn for her the way she did for so long 

WHAT A DELICIOUS DYNAMIC 

Fjord: And I don’t really feel like asking, either. I almost don’t wanna... know.

THAT HESITATION DESTROYS ME SO MUCH

FJORD IS SO SCARED TO RUIN THINGS, TO LOSE HER, TO HAVE CONFIRMATION THAT HIS FEELINGS AREN’T RECIPROCATED

but here’s the thing. He’s ok with that. He doesn’t expect her to love him back, doesn’t need her to feel the same way. Fjord is just happy loving her and being her friend and being here to support her and make her happy. That’s enough. 

How selfless is that? How absolutely romantic and painful and heartfelt? 

I love this so much. This love isn’t possessive nor demanding. All he wants, all he really asks for, is the chance to make sure she’s happy and safe. 

He requires nothing in return. Being around her light and showering in her warmth are enough. She’s already given him so much support, he can’t ask more... certainly not love in the way he would want, in the way he would hope, because life has never told him he’s worthy of such thing —not a monster like him— so why would she? 

Fjord: I just like it and, to me, as long as she’s alright...

hOW MANY TIMES BY NOW HAS FJORD SAID IN DIFFERENT CONVERSATIONS “as long as she’s alright” “as long as she’s happy” “as long as she’s not getting hurt” “as long as she trusts him” HE KEEPS REPEATING IT LIKE IT’S THE ONE THING THAT TRULY MATTERS TO HIM IN THE WORLD IM-

Fjord: It seems like this is not a permanent... thing. It’s not like we’re gonna leave her in this island and we’re gonna just go off which I was worried about before, but it sounds like it’s all... for show and it might be the Nein again after all this.

HEAR ME OUT

FJORD WAS WORRIED ABOUT JESTER LEAVING

ABOUT JESTER STAYING HERE

ABOUT JESTER TAKING OFF WITH THE TRAVELER AND NOT LOOKING BACK

and we know that was a possibility right?

BUT I THINK BACK TO THE VERY FIRST TIME SHE MENTIONED THIS (iirc it was after the giants fight way back during their second xhorhasian mission) HE SEEMED CONCERNED ABOUT JESTER GOING FOR GOOD. THERE WAS A HESITATION THERE

But really I wanna know how long... how long has Fjord been worried about her leaving, about loosing her... how much of what’s been going on has been him —without saying it— concerned that she’s about to leave the group, how many of their interactions and conversations (”i’m glad you’re here”, “we are happy to have you”, all the talks about disappearing and leaving the sad parts of the world behind) had him secretly concerned that she would soon leave??

AND DON’T GET ME STARTED ON WHAT HAPPENED IN THE LATER HALF OF THE EPISODE

Fjord: and then, I don’t know what. I wanna explore the world! I want to see the lands we haven’t seen! I want to find the things that people are scared of and solve them or do what everyone else needs to do...

Fjord: but....... I- I hope- I hope she’s a part of that

I’M SCREAMING PLS BOY HE’S SO IN LOVE AND ALL BUT CONFESSING IT HELP ME PLS

the way he deflates and gets very quiet and earnest as he admits this????

im sobbing

[im not gonna get on Beauyasha territory because as much as that made me want to scream too this is soooo long already that i feel like that deserves a meta on its own]

i do wanna point out that fjord definitely seemed kinda jealous when Beau started describing her former crush on Jester

Like, he’s so excited to talk about her and Yasha but when Beau brings past feelings into this you can feel a note of panic and defensiveness as he says 

Beau: so I definitely had a crush on Jester, just since we’re drunk and we can be...

Fjord: when you said it before, it was like a thing... you had a real crush on Jester?

Beau: well, she’s so enigmatic, like you said and she just like... she’s got this way... just when she talks...

Fjord: 

Fjord: I’m talking about Yasha! You can go back to Yasha! It’s- uhm-

HE’S SO ANNOYED IM LAUGHING SO HARD

also fun thing

it’s similar to when he’s reacted to the traveler before and jester calling artagan handsome lmfao

im just saying 

and I like that he’s being supportive and he listens and all, even when Beau brings Jester back up... but then he confirms that Beau’s feelings for Yasha are deeper than for Jester and he definitely seems happy with that answer, both for Beau’s happiness (you know Fjord is so excited about these two since forever but especially the way he asks when he turns the tables on Beau he’s so excited for her!) but also because maybe it means one less chance that his own feelings won’t be reciprocated? like an... “alright, so we are good? with this? this is not going to hurt your feelings if i.. if i do love her?” and i think that’s very sweet? like regardless he’s gauging the depth of Beau’s feelings in this regard and I think if she confessed something deeper he would, heartbrokenly, step back and let her have a chance... especially since he’s happy just loving Jester from afar

ANYWAY

I WILL KEEP YELLING ABOUT THIS CONVO IN MY CORNER

AND OTHER MOMENTS THAT I WILL PROBABLY BREAK DOWN LATER

BUT THAT’S ALL FOR NOW

OKAY THAT’S A LOT OF YELLING

bye

[usertoxicyaoi]

The reaction was really interesting. I agreed with a lot of Bright’s point and it was nice to see a different perspective. I really wish they had showed it in the show. You can tell Bright is really attached to Sarawat and it hurts his heart to see the pain. It also showed me that the finale could have been loads better with a few cute scenes and a proper discussion. This is what Bright was talking about. At the end of the day it was the lack of communication.

Ahh I loved that reaction video and I loved seeing Bright talking about Sarawat’s point of view. I’m sure one of the reasons they bought him was the amount of shit he was getting from some people. This however also showed me what the show lacked. Though I loved 2gether.. most of the time we saw things were Tine’s perspective. It would have really been good to see it from Sarawat’s perspective in the last episode. You can also see Bright’s frustration at times with how they portrayed Sarawat.

I assume you watching the reaction video atm! Let me say this boy gives me heart attacks like how thoughtful he is and wants to explain sarawat’s every move since episode 12 and why he acted the way he acted. I felt like he kept it inside for so long that it needed to be spoken out like when he wanted to see a reaction from P’Jennie how he looked away and then right back at her. He was so stressed and on the edge the whole time! How he repeatedly said he’s sorry for Sarawat cause he knows that everyone was sorry for Tine but didn’t get to see/understand his side of version. He also zoned out in a couple of scenes like this boy has sooo many emotions and it feels it’s too overwhelming for him(I feel that at least). I’m so grateful that Bright exists and talk about loving a man and to feel love so freely!! He could’ve said so much in the end but instead it was more like an apology for hurting Tine and how his character works. He understands Sarawat so much. I’ll cry. I didn’t thought my opinion would be that long... he’s speaking so enthusiastically about Sarawat and what his character taught him. This boy is really a blessing for the 2gether + lgbt+ community I love him he’s a child like a babie :((

Bright just wants to smooch his co-star but the universe won’t let him.

hiii anons!!! i’m gonna combine all of your asks into one bc we’re all essentially talking about the same thing.

yeah. so. the ep 13 reaction video. lets talk about it.

firstly, i ... it will never cease to astound me just how much bright loves sarawat? he knows him with every fibre of himself. he knows sarawat right down to the tendon and bone of him. like. bright’s taken so much time out to character study sarawat, get into his psyche and mind and heart. and. i hate novel! sarawat, but, bright’s taken that character, and made it his own, completely transforming him. and that takes so much understanding and commitment and passion. truly, we don’t deserve bright. we really don’t. and i am so thankful we got bright to play sarawat. no body else could have done sarawat better than bright. so much so that like .... they both overlap, bright and sarawat. sometimes its hard to distinguish where sarawat ends and bright begins.

and like some of yall said, i think it was a very clever ... move (?) ... to star bright to react to ep 13, solo, without win. bc, like yall mentioned, and like im gonna dwell on now: 2gether was entirely from tine’s perspective. it reminds me a bit of skam, in that way, that ... ya know even tho i’ve watched skam and i should KNOW this, but i still forget just how POWERFUL perspectives are. and how much they influence your way of thinking. i touched upon this after ep 12, but now after watching bright react to the whole of ep 13, like, it comes back to that. we saw everything through tine’s eyes. and so, it felt like, sarawat’s side needed to be justified. but it could never be done on the show bc the show was about tine’s perspective. and the only way it could have been done, is if they both would have talked.

which brings me onto my next point, that bright mentions - the biggest barrier and fault was they both don’t know how to talk. i touched upon this just yday actually, how sarawat is someone who doesn’t know how to talk, he’s more of a do-er (like bright said), whereas tine is someone who overthinks himself to the point of sickness and anxiety and so he doesn’t know how to voice that out, and like bright said, tine is someone who is EXTREMELY obedient - if someone says something to him to do, tine will go along and do that and won’t say no to them. which means that tine himself has had very little experience of going with his gut and how he feels, and when he comes face to face in a situation like that, it becomes Very overwhelming for him.

so, it was really clever to have bright on, solo, to explain everything from his and sarawat’s perspective. especially the bit where bright was like “everytime someone flirted with tine, wat never once questioned his trust for tine or their love, he would go directly to the person in question and deal with them.” and ... ya know, that’s more easier for sarawat to do, than it is for tine, who isn’t like that at all - like bright said, tine is the more obedient one who just follows along everybody else’s suggestions and has never really used his agency to decision make for himself.

and so ... yeaah. like. people sent a LOT of verbal abuse to bright after ep 12. and bright even said he knew it would happen, bc the entire series is from tine’s perspective, he understood that from well before. so he says he was prepared, but he still didn’t come on social media that often bc he got so much verbal abuse over it. 

and like, i’ve said before, just like how jennie and go said in the reaction video, that we should have got less flashbacks in the finale, and instead, we could have had a more sweeter scene. that could have been and should have been a proper, open and honest conversation between tine and sarawat, or, as bright suggested, a kiss. so, ya know, as some people were saying that maybe bright was just uncomfortable about kissng win??? no. no he wouldnt be AT ALL. it just ... never occured in the script. but yeah. i think .......... it really did get to bright - that sarawat never on the show got a chance to explain. 

which honestly makes me feel like thats why half the time he would improvise as sarawat? and add in things he KNOWS sarawat would/should do bc he KNOWS the depths of his love for tine so he used those moments so smartly to show that (a sign of v v v good acting!!!). like a marriage proposal, or putting tine’s hand over his shoulder, or adding in cheek kisses. like. bright’s really gone over and beyond for sarawat and tried to show just how intensely in love wat is with tine, with the little space and room for manoeuvre that he got granted.

idk if the some of scripts were written in a rush? i mean, 2gether was the FIRST show from gmmtv to air in 2020 - if i’m correct???? - so, between november to february, the had to get everything shooted and done, but they MUST have started script writing earlier than that. idk ... 

personally, i do wish we did get some more of the novel scenes in the show. like, sarawat and tine coming out to sarawat’s dad was SUCH a BEAUTIFUL scene in the novel but we never got it on the show. why? bc it was from sarawat’s perspective, not tine’s. another really nice scene, is the cinema scene where they held hands, but on the show we got a different version of it, where instead, they talked about a happy or tragic ending before tine decides to accept being wat’s boyfriend and they hug (i like that scene though, purely bc we got to see win’s crying which was !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AMAZING! and the hug was SUPER sweet!). 

but yeah, it .... idk. seeing bright in that reaction video in some moments Hurt. bc .... there was so much he wanted to say but he kept it in. and he’d just glance and sigh and look down or away bc he GETS sarawat in a way i think nobody else does. and so ..... had the show had more time, or was able to cut out some scenes and replace them with other and rewrite bits, we could have gotten sarawat’s perspective, and not had the show completely butcher sarawat’s image in ep 12 the way they did, only for them to then have less than one episode, a finale no less, to save his face again, whilst also tying up every other plot at the same time. 

like, bright has SO MUCH to offer as sarawat. and bright says he doesnt know about a season 2 (yet), but, ya know, if we ever got to see tine and sarawat again, i kinda wish they allow bright more freedom - bc he understands his character a lot more better than the writers do, i feel. he gets sarawat on soul deep level. so i just wish they’d give bright more freedom to be sarawat. and i have no doubt that, if that had been the case, we would have gotten a LOT more physical intimacy between tine and sarawat. i’m not mad about the lack of it, but, i’m assuming that bright would have really made sarawat be a lot more physical with tine. but at the same time, i agree with bright when he said that tine and wat are people who show their affections to one another in private - which is why i am SO ...... upset that we never got to see tine and wat ALONE in the one year later scene, bc, like i said, they WOULD have been a LOT LOT LOT more intimate then. but they weren’t alone. so they weren’t intimate. which. yeah. 

but at the same time, ya know, bright’s so .... like. he gets where the hurt for tine stems from. just like how he gets sarawat’s character, he gets tine’s too. but like he said, he’s lived and breathed wat since day one - and so, i think he just really wanted a chance to explain everything from sarawat’s point of view. he really didn’t need to apologise at all, and yet he did, on behalf of wat hurting tine. 

so whilst i know its just said that oh ya know bright should just write the whole of s2, i kinda wish, if we were to get one, that they writers would sit down and LISTEN to bright and win and take some input of theirs in, since, they’re the ones who KNOW their characters and play them. 

but yeah, bright’s mind. his intellect. his knowing of sarawat ............. it will never cease to amaze to me just how dedicated he was at an emotional and psychological level to play sarawat.

[horansqueen]

You & Me : chapter 45

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34 || CHAPTER 35 || CHAPTER 36 || CHAPTER 37 || CHAPTER 38 || CHAPTER 39 || CHAPTER 40 || CHAPTER 41 || CHAPTER 42 || CHAPTER 43 || CHAPTER 44

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his -4k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

READ AM CONVERSATIONS AGAIN ON WATTPAD HERE

- notes: please take note that this is mostly a filler chapter, just like chapter 46 and 47 will be. I have everything planned for 48, 49 and 50 tho. and then the story will be over :( if you want anything added to the filler chapters, please message me. tbh i would love you so so much lol! so yea, im super stressed about ending this story, i cant even explain. ALSO: time will pass quicker in the last few chapters so check the dates!

if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)

requests! : the 2 requests added will be posted at the bottom of this post to avoid spoilers!!!

TAKE A LOOK AT THE CHARACTERS HERE

Chapter 45 : His chapter

NIALL

August 16th, 2018

I didn't know exactly what woke me up but I just turned around in bed, wrapping my arm around Liv's body and moving a bit closer before trying to fall back asleep. Unfortunately, my phone started vibrating on my bedside table and I groaned when I realized I forgot to put it on mute before falling asleep. I couldn't remember how long how making love session had lasted and I couldn't even remember when I actually fell asleep.

I grimaced and sighed before turning around and reaching out for my phone, searching for it with my eyes closed. My fingers finally gripped it and I decided to sit up, rubbing my eyes as I tried to read the message I had received. I noticed Louis' face next to the message and I frowned. It's not that Louis never texted me but I was still surprised to see that notification, especially so early in the morning.

'Had fun last night? 😏' was all he had sent me along with a link.

I turned to look at Olivia who was still deeply asleep, laying on her stomach, with the covers just over her butt and I finally got out of bed slowly and gently, making sure I wouldn't wake her up. I walked to the kitchen, letting out a yawn as I passed my hand in my messy hair, and decided to make coffee as I clicked on the link.

I frowned when I recognize my living room and I saw myself get up from the couch, suddenly realizing it was my instagram live from the night before. i frowned more, wondering why Louis would send me the link since I couldn't remember saying or doing anything remotely bad but when Olivia's legs appeared in the screen, I realized my mistake. I had probably not stopped the live properly and my heart jumped in my chest, trying to remember what exactly we had said and done right after.

I heard my girlfriend tell me I was a good person and groaned low again when I heard myself ask her if it turned her on. No one could see us kiss since the laptop was placed on the coffee table and we were standing up but even if I was whispering, the words "I'm gonna miss you so much." could easily be heard before she replied that she was going to miss me more.

"Fucking hell..." I whispered as I blinked a few times, staring at the screen where we could clearly see me leading Liv in the hall as she stepped back, our lips attached to each other's as we made out.

She hit the wall and we both laughed as I let out a 'clumsy ass!' the way I always did before an 'I love you' escaped my lips. I felt my heart jump in my chest knowing so many people had actually witnessed something so personal and I swallowed before sighed and passing my hand in my hair again. We disappeared from the screen as the sound of a door being closed could be heard and I realized the video lasted 4 more minutes where nothing could be heard or seen. It had probably been about an hour since I started the livestream which was why it finally cut and I put my phone away and closed my eyes, wondering what exactly would be the repercussion of this video. I didn't want to go on twitter to read what people were saying but I knew that I would at least have to tell Liv about it.

I poured myself a cup of coffee and my lips curled slightly when I heard my girlfriend yelled from the bedroom.

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT!"

"Okay, she already knows." I whispered to myself, taking a sip from my hot drink and leaning against the counter.

It took her only a few seconds but I saw her appear in front of me, her hair even messier than mine and wearing only my shirt. I wanted to be stressed by all this but when I saw her, my lips curled in a fond smile.

"Did Louis send it to you too?" was the first thing that got out of her mouth and I just nodded before turning around and grabbing a mug to pour her some coffee too. "That's it? That's all I get? A nod?"

I took the time to add sugar and cream in her coffee and finally turned around again to hand it to her. She stared at me for a few seconds before her eyes fell on the mug and she sighed, taking it from my hands.

"Is there anything else to say?" I just asked, shrugging a shoulder. "I mean it's on the internet probably forever and honestly, we've been lucky, especially thinking about all the times we actually just fucked on the couch I mean, this video could be so much worse."

She looked away and her eyebrows raised before she grimaced. "Yea, I guess that's some way to see it." she let out before taking a sip. "I just... Gosh I don't know, I feel violated."

"I'm sorry. Honestly, I feel like shit too. It's my mistake and it's a very bad one." I admitted, raising my nose up. "I'm sorry, petal."

Her eyes met mine and she took a step closer, tilting her chin up to keep her gaze locked with mine. I stared at her back as she blinked a few times and her thin lips curled into a fond smile.

"You're forgiven."

I let my eyes roamed on her face, knowing it was a big thing to be so easily forgiven for something like that, especially that we were both aware she would get a lot of hate because of it. I bent down slightly and let my lips brush against hers before closing my eyes and bringing my hands up to her cheeks to deepen the kiss. When we stopped, she kept hers lips pressed against mine and sighed low.

"I'm gonna turn off my notifications on twitter for a while."

I raised my nose up in a grimace and groaned. "Me too." I kissed her lips again. "We can just ignore the comments together. I promise we'll be fine."

"I know." she whispered, her lips brushing against mine. "I trust you."

I felt something stir in my heart at her words, knowing I had lost her trust last year and I had worked hard to get it back. Still, despite my efforts, she didn't have to give it back to me again, but she had, and I couldn't explain how much it meant to me.

"Thank you, pet."

                                                       ---

August 17th, 2018

I woke up around 10am, knowing I should have been up before. I had a concert on the same night and even if it was barely a two hours ride, we had to get there early to rehearse and make sure everything was in place. I was surprised to realize my girlfriend was not in bed anymore as I reached my arm on the mattress, my hand only meeting the cold sheets of the bed.

Quickly, I opened my eyes, blinking a few times, and stretched before getting up and dressing up. I walked to the kitchen only to see Liv and her lips curled when she saw me. I frowned, still surprised that she was already up, and took the mug she was handing me. I liked this habit that we had to prepare coffee if we were the first one to wake up. We had never talked about it but we just did it naturally and it was one of the many small things that made this whole relationship stronger.

"You're up early." I just pointed out before taking a sip.

"Will you miss me?" she asked quickly, ignoring my comment and making me frown.

"You know I will, petal, why are you asking?" I chuckled, taking a step closer and raising my eyebrows.

The truth was, I didn't want to leave without her but at the same time, I didn't want to force her to come with me. I knew following me on tour was not as fun as it may sound and I also knew she was busy. Of course, the fact that she was done with the season of her show gave her more free time, but the Olivia I discovered after being away from her for over a year was more independent than the Olivia I broke the heart to. She had also been right the last time we had a discussion about being away from each other. She had said it would bring us even closer and stronger together, and it had. We had spent a lot of time texting, facetiming and talking on the phone and I couldn't hide that I had missed her like crazy, but when we finally got to see each other again, it was intense. Besides, nothing would ever stop me from seeing her if at some point, it became too hard to be apart.

"How bad are you going to miss me?" she asked, once again ignoring my question.

"Pet, if I could, I'd put you in my bags and bring you with me."

This answer seemed to satisfy her as her lips curled more and she licked them before putting her mug away. I took a sip in mine but quickly, she grabbed it too and put it next to hers before taking my hand and pulling me with her.

"Are you bringing me in bed for a good fuck or something?"

This time, she laughed and the sound of it made me smile. She brought me to the hall and my lips parted when I saw her luggage in the lobby, laying near the door. I turned to her after a few seconds and she raised her eyebrows.

"If you don't want me to come with you, I'll definitely understand." she just said, shaking her head. "But I've had enough to be away from you. I miss you too much. What do you say?"

I felt my heart jump in my chest and let out a low chuckle before bending down slightly and wrapping my arms right under her butt to lift her up. She let out a short scream and a laugh, making my smile grow.

"Fuck yes!"

"Niall! Put me down! You're gonna hurt yourself!"

I did as she asked and as soon as she was back on her feet, I pushed her against the wall and looked down at her with a smile. She looked up and licked her lips before nibbling on her bottom one, her eyes never leaving mine and a smile still spread on her face.

"I didn't want to force you into coming with me, but fuck, I wanted to ask you to follow me again." I whispered, bending down slightly to brush my nose against hers. "Thank you for coming with me. It makes me so happy, darling."

"I was not sure if you still wanted me to come. I don't want to be annoying, or dependent. I just want to be with you."

My happy smile turned into a fond one. I didn't want her to ever believe she bothered or annoyed me. I was not the kid I used to be when I broke up with her, I didn't see things the same way, and I had learned.

"I always want to be with you. Your presence is a gift for me, I want you to always remember that, okay?" I murmured, feeling my lips brush against hers as I talked. "Don't ever try to be someone else. I love you best when you're just yourself."

She chuckled. "Did you just quote your own song?"

I sent her a smirk and shrugged, my body still pressed on hers. "It's my words, I can use them whenever I want. Besides, I wrote it for you, so."

"Okay but, can I really show you my heart? You promise you won't break it again?"

I rubbed my nose gently and slowly against hers again, making her eyelids flutter slightly.

"I swear." I breathed. "You're everything I want."

                                                   ---

September 12th, 2018

When I walked back in the hotel room after the show, my lips curled when I noticed Liv coming out of the bathroom, her body wrapped in a fluffy white towel. She looked surprised for half a second and finally sent me a smile while tilting her head. I took a few steps closer and placed my hands on her hips but she quickly took a step back and shook her head.

"Nooo, nop!" she let out, making me raise her eyebrows. "You're all sweaty and shit. Take a shower first!"

"I thought seeing me all sweaty made you horny." I argued, my lips curling into a smirk.

"Watching you all wet turns me on too." she admitted, pressing her lips together. "Go shower and I promise to stay naked, deal?"

This time, I smirked even more and waggling my eyebrows, making her laugh. "Can I get a glimpse?" I asked, pulling gently on the top of the towel and letting my gaze drop in her cleavage.

"No!" she argued, slapping my hand slightly and chuckling. "Hurry!"

I groaned and rushed to the bathroom, getting quickly undressed and starting the shower. I let out a sigh as I tilted my chin, feeling the warm water fall in my face and wet my hair. The past months had been exhausting, mentally and physically, but I could actually say that I was in the exact place I wanted to be. I didn't feel this hole inside my chest anymore. Somehow, it was filled with something that I desperately needed without really realizing it. It was not only the love we had for each other that mattered, it was also the friendship, the history, the trust, the hope and the need we felt toward the other... all of this filled everything that needed to be filled. She was my home, and I was hers. I had never felt like that for anyone else in my life.

I quickly got out of the shower and dried my body and hair before wrapping the towel around my waist. When I walked back in the room, my lips parted slightly and I stopped dead in my track. She was laying in bed, on her stomach, her headphones on as she seemed to read something (a book or a magazine, perhaps?), still completely naked. I stared for a few seconds at the back of her head before my eyes moved down to her ass. I didn't know if she did that just to turn me on but it definitely worked. I took the towel off and let it fall next to me before grabbing my cock in my hand and stroking it gently.

She started humming a song low and I was so focused on her naked form that it took me half a minute to realize it was one of mine. It made the left corner of my lips raise up and I let my free hand run down to my balls as I got harder.

Being able to have sex with her every time I came back to the hotel room was one of the perks of having her on tour, along with many others, of course. I normally prefer to be alone but when it came to Olivia, everything seemed different. I didn't feel stuck in this relationship, or smothered by it. I still wanted us to be private and couldn't wait until people would stop mentioning that video or us after my livestream but at the same time, It didn't bother me the way it would have before. After all, I was dating her, and for the very first time in my life, I wanted it to last forever. Just that thought seemed crazy to me and my heart skipped a beat.

I took a step closer to her and without thinking, I straddled her quickly and stared down as I pushed my cock inside her. She tensed and I felt her walls press around the tip of my cock, making me groan.

"Don't move, baby." I whispered before realizing she probably couldn't hear me.

I kept looking down as I slowly pushed myself more inside her until I was balls deep and moaned low. She felt amazing, as she always did, and my whole body started throbbing. I leaned closer to her, holding myself with my hands near her shoulders, and moved my hips back before thrusting in her again.

"F-Fuck."

The way she whimpered made me smile and with one hand, I took her headphones off and it fell off the bed, making a soft sound as it hit the carpet. I bent down slightly and brushed my lips on her ear.

"I don't think what you're reading is as interesting as what I'm doing to you, is it, petal?"

I watched her eyes flutter closed and her lips part before laying on top of her and slipping one  of my arms around her. My hand reached for her neck and I pressed my fingers on her throat as I tried to hold myself with the elbow of my other arm, making sure I didn't crush her or hurt her.

"Is it?" I asked again, a little louder this time.

"Mm, nothing is better than what you're doing to me." she admitted in a whisper, making me smile more.

"How much do you like my cock inside your pretty little cunt, pet?"

She moved her ass up to feel me deeper and I breathed through my teeth at the amazing sensation, remaining motionless for a few seconds. She started wiggling a bit and my grip tightened around her neck.

"So.. so much." she whimpered again, gripping the sheets of the bed with both hands.

"You're so fucking impatient." I whispered with a chuckle, letting go of her throat and sitting back on her legs. "Didn't think I'd find you laying on the bed naked like that, just waiting for me. You have no idea how hard that made me."

I stared down at my cock moving slowly in and out of her as I moved and enjoyed the moans coming out of her mouth every single time I was completely inside her.

"Fuck, Niall, please."

I looked up and grabbed her hair, pulling on it a bit as she let out a louder whimper.

"Fuck, you're so wet." I whispered, gripping her hair tighter. "I want to cum inside you, petal."

I watched her move a bit, her body twisting as she slipped one of her arms under her body to reach for her clit. She rubbed the tip of her fingers on my balls, making me groan, and finally started touching herself, making her ass grind up. I started fucking her harder and faster, in motion with her ass moving up and it only took a minute or two until she started shaking beneath me. The sight was amazing and I groaned as I came too, pushing her hard despite myself in the mattress.

"Jesus Christ." I whispered before going limp on top of her.

I heard her chuckle and my lips curled too as I brushed them on her shoulder. She shivered and I smiled even more when goosebumps appeared on her now damp skin.

"I love having sex with you." she admitted, making me laugh lightly.

"Oh darling, I love having sex with you, too."

I trailed kisses on her neck and shoulder and after a while, I moved next to her, laying on my back and staring at the ceiling. We were on the wrong side of the bed and I felt my heels lean against one of the pillows.

"And I love spending time with you. I love being close to you. I love that you followed me here. I love that you're still my best friend after all this time. I love that we get along so well, that we grew up together, that we're even closer than we used to be." I confessed slowly in a soft tone. "I love that you love me. I love that I love you. I love the team we make. I love you, Olivia."

I turned my head her way and she was staring at her. She seemed on the verge on tears but I knew they were happy tears and I sent her a fond smile before moving on my side to see her better. I brought one of my hands to her cheek and pushed a lock of her hair behind her ear.

"The truth is, I can't wait to marry you, to start a family with you, to grow old with you."

Her eyes roamed on my face and she swallowed hard. We both remained silent for a while and she pressed her lips together. It was so endearing that I smiled more and let my fingertips run on her shoulder and down her sides, until her waist.

"You..." she started, stopping herself again for a few seconds before her eyes met mine. "The first time we dated, it was everything that scared you about our couple. That's why you broke up with me, remember?"

I held my head with my hand, my arm on the mattress, and she moved closer, licking her lips and waiting for my answer. Of course I remembered, how could I not?

"I know." I replied, nodding lightly. "I was a fuckin' idiot. I mean, I still am." I shrugged with a chuckle. "But I'm an idiot who will never make that mistake again. I don't want to be with anyone else. And I don't want to be away from you."

"For someone who supposedly suck at expressing his feelings, you're doing quite well." she pointed out with a big smile.

I laughed too and shrugged again. "I've been thinking about what I was going to say for days." I admitted, glancing away before looking back at her. "I almost wrote a song instead."

"You could have," she whispered, reaching for my hand and squeezing my fingers. "I love hearing you sing."

I smiled again and pulled her closer to me to feel her body against mine. I lied down on my back again and she cuddled my side quickly. We stayed quiet for a while and every time she'd tilt her chin up to kiss mine, it would make me smile. It made me realize I had everything I needed, everything I wanted... I had everything I didn't even know I needed, and didn't even know I wanted.

"Do you still want to elope?" I asked randomly after a while.

"It's still a dream of mine, yea." she replied in a gentle tone. "But I know you'd prefer a normal wedding with our families and friends. I'm okay with that."

"I'm sure we can make a compromise."

She moved her head up to look in my eyes and frowned a bit. "This is... hypothetical, right?"

I let my eyes roam again on her face and something stirred inside me. I had no idea it was possible to love someone so bad. I didn't know it was possible to love someone so much you that you'd be ready to change your life plans for them. But here I was, staring at the only woman I ever fell in love with, knowing that I'd do anything for her, and that I would never stop loving her.

"Of course, we're just talking." I lied, my lips curling more. "So we'd elope and get married in Vegas, and then make a big party with our friends and family. And then what?"

"Honeymoon? If we're not too busy..."

"We'll make time." I replied firmly. "Bali or Bora Bora?"

She laughed and turned to lay on her back, my arm still behind her neck, and she finally shook her head. "I don't care where we go, Niall. As long as I'm with you."

the requests

[oofchris]

⌠ MADISON BAILEY, 19, CISFEMALE, SHE/HER ⌡ welcome back to gallagher academy, CHRISTINA ' CHRIS ' ANDERSON! according to their records, they’re a FIRST year, specializing in MACGYVER SURVIVAL SKILLS & NAVIGATION + PROTECTION & ENFORCEMENT; and they DID NOT go to a spy prep high school. when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of ( speckles of dried paint on fingers, cruising round on a longboard, joints tucked behind ears wrapped in colourful papers ). when it’s the ( sagittarius )’s birthday on 12/27/2001, they always request their PHO from the school’s chefs. looks like they’re well on their way to graduation. ⌿ mochi, 24, she/her, gmt ⍀

@gallagherintro​

hi uwu, here is a new baby who is not very baby but still a lil baby

 . . . it got quite long so tldr; she’s a stubborn art hoe from california who’s dad died so she’s come to gallagher bc her mom is a professor in the p+e major <3 

parallels

wyldstyle  — the lego movie: 85%

mulan — mulan: 84%

nymphadora tonks — harry potter: 83%

princess fiona — shrek: 83%

robin buckley — stranger things: 82%

here is a full list

HISTORY

potential triggers — car accident, parental death, divorce

so she’s grown up on on the west coast p much ??? her whole life. her mom worked as a bodyguard for sum famous peeps, dad was doctor but occasionally also a medic in the field — they didn’t always see eye to eye and divorced when chris was around nine. it was mostly to do with chris’ future like whether she’d go to spy prep school and follow in their footsteps and her dad didn’t want that for her so they disagreed, and she lived with him instead, living a more or less normal life. her mom then moved away when the opportunity to become a professor at gallagher presented itself, so they’ve really not been close at all since then

lived fairly comfortably, either way her dad had money and her mom sent support too. her father definitely earns less from no longer being in the spy world but he vowed to leave that behind when he divorced his wife and other than a few people from his past popping up unannounced, he kept that vow. they moved around a couple times in order to keep chris safe, and especially when someone did find them ( even if it was friendly ) but mostly grew up in california, and a lot of it is to do with the fact chris loves it there so much

but chris knows about the spy world, what her mom does and the type of school she works at, but it never interested her enough to try and reach out or fight her dad on it as she enjoyed her life 

she remembers her mom as someone stubborn, argumentative, volatile which is the opposite of her dad who was patient, loving and endearing — so it’s a no brainer for her, she loves her dad a lot and he gave up a lot for her while her mom gave chris up for that world, her job, etc aka nada

BUT her dad died in a car accident recently that she was also in but was only a bit beaten up at most ( has some cuts / new scars, learn more below ) leaving her mother to swiftly pick her up and enrol her into gallagher, more to keep an eye on her than anything. 

her mom chose her majors and some of her classes for her, which chris is mad about, but mainly bc looking at what ones were offered she’d def pick macgyver anyway, and her mom argued p+e was a step into the physical and combat side of thing without being too heavy on it ( tho it’s the major she teaches so she’s biased and chris just thinks she wants to be closer ) but tbh ? chris just doesn’t want her mom to be right whatsoever or have the satisfaction of thinking she knows her daughter in anyway at all but she knows if she went undecided she’d probably pick those up again in her second year so she’s just ‘ going with it ‘ begrudgingly as if she has no choice

PERSONALITY

extremely stubborn, which she gets from her mom, would rather ruin her life than go back on something or admit she was wrong, if she apologises for something she'll find a way to do it where she's not actually ever saying the words ' im sorry ' or ' i was wrong ' and would rather start another argument than do that — but obviously she loves other people apologising to her

she is generally nice ??? i just think she can be irritated easy ?????? like a bit of a hot head tho she'd argue she's chill, she is mostly chill but likes to debate, be right, and can be very my way or the high way at times — i’ll figure her out more as i play her bc i can’t tell if she’s mean or not but i don’t think so, just a bit tougher than she needs to be 

in my head she’s like a seb/luc hybrid so . . . take that as you will 

doesn’t dislike gallagher ( mostly ) but thinks all the legacies — even tho she technically is one, she doesn’t identify as one — are entitled spoiled brats and should get their heads out of their ass, doesn't like that being a legacy is even a thing though a lot of it definitely comes from her bitter resentment towards her mom and how she'd have rather leave her and her dad than leave the spy life hbsjhbsjhb also i think bc of her mom she has level 5 clearance which . . . she’s not complaining about but definitely complaining that clearance levels are even a thing, she’s gonna contradict herself a lot, i feel it

MISC

i THINK she’s only arrived, like, at the start of spring semester tbh, she wasn’t here for fall so she is new new

halfway through her first year at stanford studying art alongside film and media as a minor before her mom brought her to gallagher — which she's kind of not happy about like she understands her dad didn't want it for her, she also wanted to just stay in california but the only family she has now is on her mom's side.

she's still enrolled at stanford, though dropped her minor, and is studying online for her major as she's made it clear to her mom she doesn't want to be a spy so she pulled a few strings with the stanford admission board to allow her studying to continue ( idek if this is allowed i'm just pretending her mom is powerful enough to do it ) — it was a big reason chris agreed to come to gallagher, not that she had much of a choice, bc she wants her ‘ normal ‘ life and her ‘ normal ‘ degree regardless of being at a spy school

only her mom calls her christina and she actually hates it so pls dont unless you are trying to get on her bad side — also she probs avoids her mom like the plague so don’t bring that up either

often covered in little cuts and bruises from her skating but she’s got two fresh / soon to be scars on the left side of her face on the top of her cheek bone and on her jaw from a shards of glass when she was in the car accident — she is the type to pick her scabs until they bleed again, too, so i picture her with loads of little scars especially on her hands, elbows and knees

she did learn self defense from her dad growing up and she has studied jiujitsu and akido since she was around thirteen, she also boxes but it's more casual like for stress and stuff rather than something she takes overly seriously

she likes surfing, diving, enjoys the kind of world that exists underwater where it's just peaceful and calm so she will be around the lake a lot / at the pool if you need to find her

she’s 5’3 and never wears heels

pansexual and while it might change i wanna say she's not overly sexual, like wouldn't have hookups for no reason ?? but potentially some one night stands or drunken mistakes or whatever. doesn't look down on sluts but i think she doesn't have the most confidence in that area, or in self esteem in general, so she'll ??? only really have a frequent thing if she feels Hella comfortable

the type to have crushes tho, but not act on them at all bc again self esteem issues 

bit of a tomboy, skater, stoner — though she wouldn't identify as one — really loves movies and can be a proper filmophile, probably has more film soundtracks on her spotify unwrapped than she does actual artists and don't get her started on Women— in film bc she won't stop 

very active, sporty, probs trying to parkour around campus

enjoys painting, sketching, simply creating things — often is filming, riding a longboard, working on some kind of little project she'll take too seriously but won't show people until it's perfect

is a little pretentious at times ??? doesn't necessarily mean to be but if it's a debate on a topic she's passionate about ( such as art, film, etc ) then she will try to ensure you know just how knowledgeable she is on it, she's not afraid to flex but she wouldn't outwardly flex for no reason if that makes sense 

she also . . . feels p dumb at gallagher tbh, a lot of her strengths lie in her creativity and art and now she’s very ??? wtf am i doing ?? but she will continue to act like she knows !

can speak english, french, german and spanish all pretty fluently, italian well enough to get by, knows a bit of japanese bc she’s . . . a weeb sometimes but also bc of her martial arts

CONNECTIONS

FAMILY / CHILDHOOD FRIENDS ( SPY ) — so this would more than likely be before her parents divorce, but she’s not against keeping in contact a little if she liked you, it could have also been a family who reached out to her dad afterwards because while he’d move away / hide his location promptly after, he would still help them if they needed it ( 1 / ? )

FAMILY / CHILDHOOD FRIENDS ( NON SPY ) — same thing, but would have probably been after the divorce, just normal families that her and her dad knew, neighbours, work colleagues, school friends, would more than likely have also needed to be west coast sorta area but if your muse was there briefly, they could have kept in contact once they’d left ( 0 / ? )

LEGACIES — she potentially . . . won’t like you if you’re a legacy and you are egotistical / assholey even a tiny bit, bc that basically proves her argument that they’re ALL like that jshbjsbjs but i wud like her to have legacies that she . . . hates that she likes as well, i think she’ll realise p quickly most are fine lmao

ART HOES — whether they’re into painting as well and they do it together or they let her paint them !

SMOKE / SKATE BUDS — one or the other, both, whatever !! 

A HOOK UP THAT’S EITHER ALREADY HAPPENED OR GOING TO — in my head she’s a bit ??? w sex tbh so maybe plot this out a bit more but can be a ?? positive relationship or a negative one idm

CRUSHES !!!!!!!!! — she’s not even been at the school long but im certain she probs has some already

i’m not good w wanted connections so pls just hmu if u have ideas and as usual like dis for plots / jus message me, i’ll be on discord !! if you don’t have/use discord just message me first on tumblr bc otherwise i wont realise jhbsjhbjhbsj

[bow-woahh]

She-Ra season 5 thoughts

A chaotic summary of my feelings/ reactions of each episode! Spoilers. Obviously. 

Episode 1 — Horde Prime

- First of...Adora stop throwing yourself into battle challenge - "You're not She-Ra anymore" — TELL HER SIS - The way Catra was so smug but Glimmer was not having any of it "You're just as alone as I am" if that ain't the truth idk what is - Catra wanting the climb up the ranks? Sis I don't think so let's see how long that lasts - The DINNER pissed me the fuck OFF - Oh yeah here's my obligatory SW FUCK OFF CHALLENGE - Micah, King, glare at her!! Yes!! - The way Scorpia said "Catra thought my singing was annoying" honey - That clone was SO annoying stfu about Prime being omniscient and omnipresent and shit like ugH idC - Bow and Adora are the BROTP - Scorpia stinging Adora to keep her safe - and that's on friendship - The way Prime INSTANTLY called Catra out "Adora means something to you" listen I hate the gay but damn he's smart. He saw right through her act. - "Adora chose her side and I chose mine" that doesn't mean you don't still care Catraaa - Also that was REALLL quick lmaoo the way five seconds she was like "imma climb up the ranks" then in about two secs HP was like "sis I have no use for you" - "What are you going to do to me?" IM CRYING - Adora and those weird flashback PTSD things -- are u okay sis?? - This was the first episode and I already want to cry so....wow

Episode 2 — Launch

- Adora omg she's so fatigued girl S L E E P - Bow getting pissed at everyone for not letting her rest...what a king - Catra disobeying HP and talking back to that clone but then HP took its form...fuck man that shit scary - STOP CALLING HER  LITTLE SISTER CHALLENGE JESUS FUCK - Everyone hates Entrapta wow ouch - Literally Entrapta being horny over robots is hilarious lmaoo - Mermista is a great leader and they worked so well together ahhh! I'm loving Scorpia and Frosta's friendship - Entrapta got the signal!! I'm proud -  Adora stop following holograms and illusions challenge -  Adora being all like "I don't know my destiny anymore but I know I need to save my friend." LIKE YES HONEY -  Glimmer is sO volatile like honey,, did you need to break HP's crystal ball thingy?? DID U?? -  also she knows her dad is alive now and that H U R T S ++ I bet she doesn't know the sword is broken so fuckkl -  Micah as She-Ra?? something I never knew I needed -  SW not being in this episode at all? love that for us - "I reinstate my horray" I LOVE YOU SCORPIA - "Can you stay?" MY FUCKING HEART GLITRA FRIENDSHIP HERE WE COME

Every episode I just feel immense f E AR

Episode 3 — Corridors

- THIS STARTS W BABY CATRA AND ADORA?? NOELLE WHY ARE TRYNA KILL US?? - Catra and Glimmer talking about sleepovers and Adora...damn my heart - Adora and her stupid ponytail 💀 - "I'll never say sorry!" - THE WAY YOUNG CATRA WAS SO JEALOUS EYE— - "There's no one in the entire universe who cares about me." - "Im sorry! For everything." IM SO UPSET WTF -  CATRA IS FUCKED BUT SHE SAVED GLIMMER -  HP GTFO CHALLENGE -  I'm so proud of my baby tho wow... -  What the fuck we gone do now? -  so much happened in this episode so this is a lot shorter because my brain is numb. Catra is gonna get brainwashed?? isn't she?? -  "I want to do that one good thing in my life." IM CRYING Y'ALL

Episode 4 —Stranded

- Adora is like "Catra, Catra?? saved you?? wtaf?” Lmaoo - Bow and Glimmer fighting is hurting my HEART - KYLE HAS A CRUSH ON ROGELIO?? SCORPIA DONE EXPOSED IT AHHH - Swifty tryna contact Adora?? kinda cute - him impersonating everyone was onbrand and kinda funny ngl - The way Adora is like "it's complicated" lmaoo girl everything is w you - I live the star siblings omg yeS - "I have to save someone. Someone I—" omFG ADORA - Adora is S T R O N K - she GLOWED OMFG SHE RA?? IS THAT U?? - BOW AND GLIMMER BEING OKAY?? MAYBE - Etherians really are wilding out here - YESSS THEY JOINING THE REBELLION - "Maybe we'll never be friends like we used to be."  Glimmer...I love her sm - "I can't just leave her there. I have to try." Adora actually cares so much about her!! and I love Glimmer being supportive wow we love a queen! - THE BEST FRIEND SQUAD IS BACK TOGETHER!! LETS GOO - "She-Ra is back." Swift Wind is annoying but thank you. thank you for saying that horse.

I literally threw my hoodie across the room and forgot that I did that wow lmao

Episode 5 — Save the Cat

- My friend who's ahead me said wait for episode 5 now I'm fucking S H OO K - this episode name has me shook I can't - its WRITTEN BY NOELLE?? WE'RE FUCKED - I love Wrong Hordak SM what an idiot - Catradora really is gonna be canon wow - WTAF IS THAT SHE IS NOT MY CATRA SHE IS A CLONE her hair tho?? kinda nice - the way HP said "your Catra." like low-key he said gay rights - "You broke my heart. And he has made me whole again." - "We both know I don't matter"  and "you're and idiot" "I know" THESE TWO ARE MADE FOR EACH OTHER - SHE JUMPED OFF A CLIFF FOR HER - the way she's holding her?? so soft - SHE RA IS LOOKING FLY -- and is she taller?? - "You miscalculated" YES QUEEN I LOVE HER. THAT WHOLE FIGHT SCENE WAS AMAZING - FuCK HORDEP PRIME - Darla is the best Light Hope SUX - the "Hey, Adora" was SO SOFT IM SO HAPPY

That episode really hiT different Catradora is DEFINITELY canon EVERYONE SAY THANK YOU NOELLE

Episode 6 - Taking Control

- Adora. Chill. - Catra's trauma...wow - honestly I have SO MUCH TO SAY and so little at all. - The ending w Catra joining was so cute and all the Catradora interactions are SENDING ME this is the development I need - "Adora. Stay." MY HEART - thank fuck that chip is gone YAY - Entrapta and Catra making up? Catra saying "Thank you and I'm sorry" her least favourite words -- characters DEVELOPMENT - The way Catra blushed when Adora transformed GIRL YOURE GAY - SHERAS POWER IS TOO MUCH SLAY GIRL - Horde Prime FucK off challenge I hate him - Micah tryna be a father figure? cute - the endING FUCK WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT SPINNERALLA??? POOR NETOSSA

okay but where tf is DT, KYLE, LONNIE AND ROGELIO??

my mum is so tired of me screaming lmaoo

Episode 7 — Perils Of Peekabloo

- Catra just SAT on Adora's lap the PDA is unmatched - We love a filler wow - we literally can't trust anyone this shit sucks - SCORFUMA STANS STAY WINNING - Mermista and Seahawk kinda cute tho (the  heart eyes) - DT I KNEW IT   - CASH KITTEN? EYE—JUST SAY SUGAR MOMMA AND GO - NETOSSA DOESN'T DESERVE THIS - MERMISTA TO - EVERYONE is chipped WTF - DT is a theatre gay through and through   - THEY'RE FUCKED WE'RE FUCKED - NOOOO SCORPIA 😭😭😭 - "I'm the muscle, remember?" - SCORPIA'S POWER, HER REACH, IT'S AMAZING - everything is going downhill FAST - "Happy Anniversary" EYE—😭😭😭😭😭

well that sucked What the fuck we gone do now?

Episode 8 - Shot in the Dark

- The soft smile Catra gave Adora while teasing? love that - loving this new squad - the wAY HER TAIL FLUFFED UP SHES SO SCARED MAN - Wrong Hordak is my main g - the LAUGHING!! THE BLUSHING!! EVERYONE CAN SMELL THE GAY TENSION - omg Catra being the brains of the operation?? yes please - "Catra's first mission" THEY'RE SO OBNOXIOUS I LOVE THEM - "I'm going to kill your friends." "Please don't." we are ASCENDING - Casta? Strike her down anyway please 🙏 - Adora is SO WHIPPED the way she blushed at Catra making the door - "It's such a cute sneeze" BOW KNOWS IT CATRA IS CUTE AND THATS THE TEA - literallyyyy I hate SW GTFO CHALLENGE get OFF my screen 😡 - CATRA WHY DID YOU LUNGE AT THAT THING?? - OMFG MAGICAT?? (Nope dumb bitch) - "I'm coming!" "Hurry." - "I'm sorry. I got angry. It's something I'm working on" ADORA GLOWED AND SAID "You are?" WE LOVE SELF GROWTH AHH - It was Catra's hand OMFG IN THE TRAILER - Adora and cat thing being magic? we love it - MELOG IS SO CUTE and Catra can talk to it?? wowow - they love taking strays lmao - Wrong Hordak's character arc is the best one in the show - CATRA HAS AN IDEA?? YES - Preach Casta shut Weaver up - "That about sums it up, yes." I love them as a team - the hand holding? so cutee Catra don't pretend you're not whipped - oml Glimmer kissing Catra before Adora? EYE— Glitra shippers gonna be so happy at that one moment lmaoo - THEY'RE HOMEEEE

ahhh we're getting close to the end nooo

Episode 9 —An ill Wind

- oh god oh god - Catra is so badass with Melog i LOVE HER EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL  - having to fight your own wife? that shit sucks - Erelandia? it's free - omg HP is angry asfff - FROSTA CHILL SHE PUNCHED HER HARD - Adora and Catra are soft 🥺 that's all I have to say

Episode 10 — Return to the Fright Zone

- omg are we gonna see Kyle?? Lonnie? Rogelio?? (also nope, stupid hoe) - okay but Netossa getting screentime? YES PLEASE - I love the intro sm ahhhh - also her knowing everyone's weakness? love that shit - ouch Perfuma ouch didn’t have to go so hard on Catra and YET - omg I forgot Bow's dads existed - "Mostly bad memories" 😔😔😔 - competitive gfs for the win - Catra FLEW tho WOW Scorpia is STRONK - the dad jokes are immaculate - "I'm working is being a better friend. That has to count for something right?" - "We don't throw tanks at our friends" sis you don't give flowers to your them at this current time either - "why did I get stuck with the water Princess?" Catra...baby I love you - omg there's a fail safe THANK FUCK I was legit speechless - "There's real power in love and friendship" preACH IT GIRLIE - SCORPIA FIGHT IT YESSS - legit forgot Spinny and Netossa were fighting lmao oof - FINALLY ANGST OVER THE WIVES ARE BACK - omg THE PAN TO ADORA ABOUT BEING VULNERABLE AHHHH - Perfuma is Catra's therapist that's my headcanon - OMFG I FORGOT ABOUT SW FUCK SHIT CATRA BABY IM SORRY

damn I'm stressed out

Episode 11 — Failsafe

- Weaver STFU challenge - them taking about their abuse? we love to see - "We— I could really use your help" KILL ME NOW THEY'RE TOO MUCH - "Not because I like you" she says SMILING - Melog is Catra's affectionate side prove me wrong - Stan Entrapta for clear skin - SW doesn't deserve rights (as per usual) - DONT TOUCH HER BITCH LITERALLYYYY WHYYY - and now She Ra is glitching?? fuck - Catra is so jumpy eye— "Trust Me" MY HEART SBSBDB - Weaver really called her a DISTURBANCE STFU 💀💀💀 - Entrapta and bird horse ftw what a tag team - OMG NO BE CAREFUL - "Did you just jump in fire to save me?" SHE WAS SO SMUG - can SW burn like... now? - "It's none of your business" LITERALLY BUTT OUT  - "Catra, she distracts you, confuses you." WEAVER I FUCKING HATE YOU SM I FUCKING I WILL PUNCH MY SCREEN - Entrapdak being a thing? I do not know how to feel - "Your imperfections are beautiful."  I am.... conflicted - SW doesn't deserve screen time - Catra is an i no cap (I genuinely have no clue what I meant so sorry about that) - i think the fuck not - this episode is so stressful - Catra saving Adora >>>>>>>>> - what an awful reunion for Glimmer damn - "It doesn't always have to be you!" IKR IT SHOULD BE WEAVER - fuck dark magic fuck it all - Catra's upset?? no my baby 🥺 - this whole episode is just traumatising - Adora's heart do be glowing - Catra's LEAVING?? why?? - "What do you want Adora?" - MY HEART BEEN BROKE SO MANY TIMES I DONT KNOW WHAT TO BELIEVE 😭😭 - omg this time instead of Adora leaving it's Catra (you are a dumbass DUH) - that H U R T S - ADORA TELL HER YEs QUEEN

omg HEART NEXT???

Episode 12 — Heart Part 1

- I am not prepared for this - Adora...baby I'm so sorry - Glimbow moment with a banjo?? that was cute - Adora really is a party popper - "Adora doesn't want me. Not like I want her." AND THAT'S ON LESBIANISM BUT ALSO FUCKING OUCH  - but really Catra...do you really think Adora doesn't want you? girl are youb B L I N D?? - Wrong Hordak is MY GUY - Stan the rebellion for clear skin - NOOO WHAT THE FUCK MY HEART DON'TPLAY WITH ME LIKE THAT THEY NEARLY KISSED AND IT WAS A FUCKING SIMULATION - real Catra be CAREFUL - "We have to warn Adora" YES SIS WARN YOUR GF  - "I thought I could make my own destiny" U STILL CAN SIS - I'm scared I'm fucking scared - my HEART IS BEATINGG FASTT - I really hate Horde Prime uhhhhhhhgg - for once in your sorry life do something good Weaver jfc - "I can't leave her behind again" - BEST FRIEND SQUAD + MELOG YES - "Bow, I love you." GLIMBOW IS BACK ON AHHH - BUT AT WHAT COST??? (literally what am I saying??) - "You deserve love too." AND THAT'S ON PERIODT - Glimmer coming in clutch!! - Mermista and Seahawk do be cute tho - Micah is actually the worst rn wow - "Goodbye, my oldest enemy" CATRA COME QUICK AHH

the last episode....I'm not ready to say goodbye

Episode 13 — Heart Part 2

- ofc this is written by Noelle - "Hey, Adora" MY HEART - "I'll catch up okay? Get to the heart." - SW ACTUALLY DIED?? THANK YOU MY GIRLS CAN HEAL NOW

andd that's as far as I got before freaking the fuck out with everything that was happening onscreen but THE CATRADORA KISS WAS EVERYTHING and the ending was perfect 🥺💖

—

Thank you Crew-Ra, Noelle for making such a beautiful and heartwarming show, this will be remembered for years to come because what this show did was incredible and unlike anything I've ever watched.

[seongwhy]

ateez reaction the their crush making the first move

hongjoong

hongjoongie !!! would be so happy !!! that you felt that way about him !!!!

he didnt make a move bc he didnt wanna make u uncomfy :(( so he disregarded his feelings for u

unknowingly to him, u like him back !!!

but since this lucky man didnt get the hint (and with all the touching and attempted flirting you're surprised he didnt)

you decided you had to make the first move

but being all nervous and shi ,, you gotta plan it out

just like hongjoong u dont wanna make him uncomfy !! yall the same mfs

so what u planned to do was grab some takeout and bring it to hongjoong when hes producing an chat him up an shit

and once u get to his place and have him all alone your heart starts racing

and so does his !!

and you're eating and laughing and has showing you a beat he just made

and you put your hand on his leg and hes like big eyes blushing and his mouth drops a lil

and you're like 'this is rlly good hongjoongie' bITHX HES CRYIGN

IM CRYING

and you lean in and kiss him on the corner of his mouth and hes just

'o-oh thank you' he says

and u smile at him and ask him to show you more

he takes a second to recover but blushes even more

and ur ready to kiss him til he stops blushing

so u do

but he doesnt

seonghwa

seonghwa tries his best ok

he just really likes you

so he ends up stuttering and tripping and literally falling for you

like oh one time he was trying to bring you water and he got too excited and was running and some of the water from the full glass fell on the floor and he just slid right on that shit

thank god you had your back turned talking to yunho bc holy shit he didnt know what hed do if u saw that

but the rest of the boys will never let him live that down

'hyung, remember when u fell trying to get water fo-' 'shut up wooyoung'

but seonghwa is just a shy lil boy around you fam

and it's not like you didnt notice bc hed be rlly chill rlly calm and funny when he doesnt know you're around

and then he sees you and hes all 'o-oh hi I'm going to go w-wash the dishes' he cleans when hes stressed

and when u ask the boys what's up w him they're like '..... are u dumb'

anyway after that it was just so obvious

youd catch him staring and make eye contact and hed look away so fast

but you didnt miss dem red ass cheeks

and you honestly like the attention he gives you

and when he gains a little confidence around you and makes a joke or does girl group dances or smth

you cant resist him

so one day you go over to the dorm and tell all the boys that they're all gonna have to leave so that u can get seonghwa to yourself

and they reluctantly agree bc 'but I'm tireddddd'

and when seonghwa gets home hes like . where is everyone.

and you're like 'oh them??? they just went to the store to get snacks I'm sure theyll be back soon come watch this show w me'

and hes like ,,, right

and you're just smiling and nodding and patting the seat next to you

so he sits obviously sweating

and you're watching this show and hes watching you

with every laugh nd movement his stomach coils a lil

and after a bit you look at him

and you're looking at each other

and you're eyes are watching his lips and you just say yolo and go for it

hes taken aback at first but leans into it

and you're a rlly good kisser

then you pull back nd hes looking at you with the prettiest smile on the prettiest face you've ever seen

'thank u' he says 'for what?' 'for that'

'just kiss me again dummy'

yunho

puppy!! lil baby boy!!!

ok so like the first part , let's say you two have been besties for a while now

and it's just a mutual attraction and mutual liking ykno

but yunho doesnt want to mess up the friendship you guys have by trying anything

the members are all 'bruh she likes you back' and hes like 'nuh-uh you're lying'

like.... they told u sis

and one day wooyoung tells you like.. listen sis yunho has a crush on you but he refuses to do anything abt it bc hes worried itll ruin your friendship that I wouldnt even call a friendship bc of all the sexual tension but wtvr

and you slap him across the chest for that last part but

wait,,, yunho has a crush on you ?????

'are u sure ???' 'yes, bITCH ARE U BLIND'

blind w love babyyyyyyyy

this is groundbreaking news bc what the heck your longtime crush and bff likes you back !!!!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

so one day bc you guys are honestly just so comfy around each other and you've been holding back for so long theres no reason to delay this any longer

you walk up to his room where the door is closed and knock on it (u guys have a special knock)

and he opens and you latch onto him and kiss him

tangling your hand in his hair and clutching the shirt hes wearing

and he immediately kisses you back

no hesitation

but then

'guys. I'm still in here. like im happy for u but god just do a quick room check next time will ya' san says walking out of the room shaking his head

you both blush and turn to look at each other

yall laugh then shrug your shoulders and yunho says 'are u sure abt this? I dont want to wreck what we have'

'I'm more excited about what we're gonna have baby' you say, and he smiles, nods and leans in to kiss you again hehehehehe

yeosang

ok dis man loves his chocolate

and you know that so .. you decide to make him sum desserts!! a whole bunch

bc you LIKE HIM

and u want him to LIKE YOU

and the best way to get yeosang to fall for u is by giving him chocolate right

but what you didnt know is that he already likes you (shocker!!!)

so you bake up some brownies and cookies and cupcakes and idek other chocolate tings

and bring them all over to the dorm for him to try

and hes so excited !! 'chocolate!!! for me !!!!'

'yes !! all for u yeosangie'

he just looks as you in awe and love

and picks up a fork ready to take a bite

he stops tho and looks at you and licks his lips

and you blush but laugh

and he puts the food in his mouth and just dies because its SO GOOD

and hes just mouth open eyes wide 'holy shit'

'what?? you dont like it'

'nonononono I LOVE IT'

and he runs around the kitchen counter and hugs you so tight

'thank you!! this is amazing!!' he says looking directly into your eyes

'youre amazing' you say

'what?' he says 'o-oh nothing nothing I didnt say anything'

',,,, you just called me amazing !!! omg YOU JUST CALLED ME AMA-'

hes cut off by you pressing your mouth against his

he pulls away and says 'what was that for?'

'I had to get you to shut up somehow'

yeosang laughs and leans down towards you but gets cut off again!!!! this time with a 'omg are these cookies??????'

',,, get out mingi'

san

bruh yunho looks so funny wtf

sannie is such a happy boy :(

his life goal is making you laugh or smile

he just wants u to be happy!!! and his smile is so contagious!!!

and that's why you fell for him

and now everytime he makes u laugh or smile or smth a lil bit of a blush creeps up your cheeks

san doesnt seem to notice tho but you're ok with that

n e way

yall get along rlly well

hes the reason you're at the dorm every friday night for movie night

and someone chooses a horror movie

its scawwy

and san (tho also scared) sits next to you so he can whisper jokes to u throughout the movie

through hushed giggles and smiles at one another u realize u wanna be in a relationship w this guy

and the next time you're at the dorm, you decided nows the time to make it happen

but when u see san he doesnt seem like himself hes slouched down on the couch cuddling with his stuffed animal staring at the tv screen with nothing playing

when he sees you walk over to him he perks up a lil but not like he usually would

so u sit next to him and ask what's wrong

he fiddles his thumbs and doesnt look at you

so u rub his shoulder and put your other hand on his thigh and ask him again

this time he just looks at you

'I'm sorry' he says

'for what?' 'you're not smiling and it's my fault'

'san!!!! it's ok you dont have to be happy all the time!!!! especially not for me'

his head hangs and he sighs

you lift his head and kiss him slightly

'its ok' you whisper

instead of saying anything back, he leans his forehead to yours

you kiss him again

and again on his lips cheeks forehead nose hands

and by the end of it hes shyly smiling

'there it is!! theres my boy'

he hugs you and for the rest of the day you stay snuggled up on the couch

that day it was up to you make him smile

and you did !!!

mingi

mingo mango

the gif is what he looks like whenever you're near him

hes always whining for you whenever you're not

and when hongjoong sent you a video of mingi doing just that you though it was the funniest thing ever

'I wish y/n was here you're all a bunch of losers' 'you guys suck!!! I miss y/n'

freakin hilarious

this is something u love making fun of him for

liek damn mingi am I that special? I didnt know u liked me that much? u got a crush on me mango?

and u notice that whenever you ask that question, no matter how much of a joke it is, he never gives you an answer

but u dont rlly think about it until you start developing a crush on him

at first it's like,, oh what a baby hes so cute eating the food I made for him

and then it's like wow I wish he would dance on me like dat me too sis

and then u start complaining whenever hes not around 'wheres mingi?? I've been waiting for like an hour' nd 'ykno what would make this even better? mingi'

and everyone is like ok we get it u like mingi

and when mingi catches whiff of this oh boy it's over for you

'so ig it's me that's special now huh?' he tells you one night

'what?' 'u gotta crush on meeeeeee y/n's gotta crush on mingiiii'

and you roll your eyes because . idiot

but then step closer to him and say 'maybe I do'

and that's when his eyes go wide 'wait rlly???' he asks and you can hear the hope in his voice

'all I'm saying is that if you kissed me rn I wouldnt be opposed' is what you say back

and kiss you he does

wooyoung

ok so wooyoungie and u

have such blatant chemistry

yall are constantly flirting and idk yall just click

but u dont notice it

I mean u see the eyebrow wiggles and sly smiles some of the members give u

but all that does is confuse you

one day when wooyoung is in the washroom yunho says 'so you nd wooyoung huh?'

and you're like ...huh

yunhos like 'u dont like him? all yall do is flirt'

and when he says that a whole wall came down in your head

a wall blocking you from accessing emotions of attraction and love and shit you're emotionally scared sis

and you turn firetruck red

yunho just laughs and says 'I knew it'

wooyoung comes back and asks what's going on

'I'll just leave u two alone' yunho says chuckling

you glare at him as he leaves youre gonna get him back for that

but wooyoung doesnt sense anything and swings his arm around your shoulders pulling you into him

and he asks what you wanna do for the night

but you're quiet and distracted with these new feelings you've just found out you have

wooyoung asks if you're okay

and you look up at him but suddenly cant look at him in his eyes. his really pretty eyes

so you turn around and go to grab your stuff bc you 'forgot abt that... thing' you have to do

wooyoung, confused watches you scurry across the room

'uh.. ok.. I'll see you tomorrow?'

'yeah yeah see you' you say not looking at him

you just need to figure your feelings out and then you can see him again

so back home you're racking your brain tryna figure out if theres anything you can do to stop yourself from falling in love w wooyoung

and speak of the devil, u get a call from wooyoung

u contemplate not picking up but decide that wooyoung is still your best friend

'hello?' 'y/n!!! are you ok?? you left really suddenly earlier' 'yeah wooyoung I'm fine dw'

'are you sure? we dont want the prettiest person alive to feel sad now do we?'

you open your mouth to say something back but nothing comes out

'y/n?'

you feel the heat rise to your cheeks as you ask 'are you still free?'

'uh for u? always'

blushing even harder now you say 'I'm coming over' and end the call

once you get there you're knocking on the door frantically

wooyoung opens up with a 'jeez y/n what's the ru-'

you basically jump on him and kiss him hard

you latch your hands onto his shirt nd he wraps his hands around your waist

when you pull away for air, wooyoungs looking at you with a smile on his puffy red lips

you smile back and say 'that was the rush'

wooyoung smiles harder and pulls you back into him

'took you long enough'

jongho

jongho cant believe u two have met

you're one of his favourite new idols

and you met at a show

and you told him how amazing ateez's performance was

blushing, he tells you how much he likes your music

you ask him if hes hungry to which he says yes bc 1) hes always hungry and 2) he cant say no to u ever

so u buy him one of those sandwiches w the jam and the coleslaw or wtvr you know what I'm talking about

and you sit to talk and eat for a while before you have to leave

you ask for his number and tell him you'll call him sometime

and you do

all the time

at first hes shy and boyish which makes you laugh

but after a while he gets comfy and will brag and sing to you and joke

you guys catch each other up on everything

he tells you all about the boys and the boys all about you

and you realise how good a listener this guy is nd how handsome!! and cute

and so at the next show you see him at you walk up to him

and with your heart doing flips and take his hand and tell him to walk around with you

he does and you lead him to a less busy hallway where you just look at him and say 'I like you'

jonghos like... wait. huh. what. wait i- and hes blushing so much even his ears turn red

'me? you like me? bc I like you too and if you're joking or something I would be really sad and I've told the members that I like you and they made fun of me so this would be great of u did like me but if you dont and this is a joke id be really upset' and hes rambling and not looking you in the eye

so you lean in and kiss him

'it's not a joke' you say

'its,, not a joke? are you sure?' 'I'm sure'

'you're sure' 'are you going to keep repeating everything I say? or are u gonna kiss me again?'

jongho, blushing even harder now, chooses the second option

[blackbutler-readerinsertsandjunk]

CAN I GET ME SOME PETER FROM BOC? (I promise he's overage ajdjfjff) he has no content and he's just,,,adorable 🥺

listen here, I’m now head over heels for Peter and I’m blaming you

WHAT A MAN,,,

I hope this doesn’t disappoint, it’s full of feels and there is a LOT to unpack here! I based it on this set of headcanons I did a while back wherein someone saved the circus members and nursed them back to health, so that person (tho I went with a lady) is this reader’s boss

also this got WAY longer than I meant it to but considering the absolutely criminal lack of Peter content, I don’t think you’ll mind

Sometimes, on nights when it’s warm, you’ll find those two sitting in the courtyard behind your employer’s manor.

(Mistress) never told you what the story was with these circus performers, and as far as you know, she’s never told any of the other servants either. Hell, she may not even know herself. If PETER and Wendy are anything to go by, this lot doesn’t open up easily. They’ve all been living here for six months, and the only thing you really know is that (Mistress) took them in after finding them horribly injured, that Peter and Wendy are basically adults stuck in bodies which never matured, and that they used to be trapeze artists in their troupe.

They’re both very hard to read, though Wendy is marginally friendlier than her brother. The two of them seem closer to each other than even to the other members, and the whole lot of them keep to themselves, perhaps trying to avoid the household’s staff entirely, so you’ve not had much interaction with any of them.

These two, though? They intrigue you; Peter in particular. He seems on edge all the time, a shock that so much anger seems to exist in someone so small. Even if you didn’t trust their word that these two aren’t children, you would know he was an adult. No child is that angry all the time without any discernible reason.

You just want him to be able to relax. Whatever the reason he’s always ready to fight, he would be so much less stressed if he could let go of it just a little bit. Doesn’t he know he and his sister are safe here? Don’t they all know that? If they don’t, someone ought to clue them in.

When you step out into the courtyard, the balmy night air welcomes you.

There they are, the two of them, and Wendy looks to be lying down in the grass. Sleeping, maybe? It’s late, but not past midnight quite yet. (Mistress) has no strict rules for her staff nor her guests except that she would prefer everyone be inside the manor by midnight. Oddly enough, unlike anyone else you have ever worked for, she’s very concerned with everyone’s safety.

The grass rustles between your feet as you walk. The closer you get, the more Peter’s shoulders seem to shoot up toward his ears; indeed, until they’re buried in his hair. Wendy, on the other hand, only moves by breathing, so she’s definitely asleep.

After a moment of standing, staring at the sky, you lower yourself onto the ground next to Peter. Close enough that you could touch him, far enough that, hopefully, he doesn’t feel crowded. “Lovely night,” you hum, crossing your legs. “It’s nice when there are no clouds at night. You can see the moon so well. Lady (Mistress) is happy someone is finally enjoying the courtyard. She’s never really been one for stargazing or―”

“Oh, what the bloody ‘ell d’you want?!” Peter interrupts you before you can even finish your sentence. His voice is harsh, not loud, likely because he doesn’t want to wake Wendy. “Did y’ come out ‘ere just ta talk me ta death?!”

His bad attitude is still a bit surprising to you, but to have such rude comments coming from such an innocent-looking mouth is no longer the shock it once was. “Well… it wasn’t my intention, no. I’m sorry.” You tilt your head at him. “Do you want me to leave?”

The look he gives you is equal parts incredulous that you’ve said such a thing and sorely tempted by the offer. At last, his face contorts into a scowl, his head jerking back down to the grass he’s yanking out of the ground. “That ain’t what I said. Just stop prattlin’ on about nothin’.”

A moment passes in silence, then you reach over to tear out a couple blades of grass yourself. It’s not that you pretend to understand why he’s doing it, but you want to show him that whatever he’s doing, you’ll join him if he wants, even if you don’t know the reason why.

“… What should I prattle on about, then?” you speak up once he seems to have calmed down a little. “I started with the sky, but… I get the feeling you’re not actually out here to look at the sky. Not as dumb as I look, you know.”

Peter huffs, and a small sigh comes from Wendy as she turns over in her sleep.“So, y’ saw a bloke what didn’t wanna be bothered, ‘n’ y’ came out ‘ere ta bother ‘im, is what y’re sayin’?”

A small shrug is what he gets from you before you say anything else. “Well, no, I’m not trying to bother you. I just wanted to see how you’re doing… if you’re settling in alright. Wendy seems pretty comfortable.”

He snorts, the bitter look from earlier taking over his face again. “We ain’t ‘settlin’ in’. We ain’t gonna be ‘ere longer’n a year, I’ll bet, if we even make it that long.”

“Why do you think that? Lady (Mistress) says she likes you all and that you’re welcome to―”

He lets out a violent grunt as he pulls a clump of grass blades from the ground. They’re tossed down in short order, accompanied by a growl. “(Mistress) don’t know nothin’ ‘bout us! Y’ think she’d want us ‘ere if she knew the truth?! Y’ think anyone’d want us anywhere if they knew the truth?!” He presses his hands into the dirt, digging it under his frayed fingernails, and hisses furiously. “There’s a reason we were left ta fuckin’ die ― because we should be dead! We’re BAD PEOPLE, (Name)!”

Now his voice has gotten louder, causing Wendy to stir and make noises of what sounds to you like distress. You scoot over a bit, reaching around Peter to give a few soft pats to her shoulder. Then you turn your attention back to Peter. “… You’re not,” you say softly. “You in particular, you’re a little rough around the edges, but you’re not… bad.”

You shift around some to get more comfortable. When you cautiously set your hand on top of Peter’s, he flinches, but ultimately lets your fingers stay where they are. “Even if you were bad… you’re not the only bad people to ever exist. You don’t deserve to die.”

“What d’you know?” he grinds out lowly. “Y’ don’t know nothin’ ‘bout us either. Don’t know nothin’ ‘bout me. Y’ don’t get ta make that judgment.”

“Then what judgment am I fit to make?” If you sound frustrated by now, it’s because you are. Why does he seem so insistent about this? Doesn’t he think that if they all should have died, they would have? “Do my feelings really mean that little to you? Does what I think really not matter to you? Because whatever else you may be, good or bad or somewhere in between ― I’m glad to have you here. Perhaps this comes as a surprise to you, Peter, but I happen to like your company, and Wendy’s, and the others’.”

You curl your fingers around his, tightly, securely. “If you should have died, then God wouldn’t have let you live. You’re still alive for a reason.” Despite that you move closer to him, he doesn’t pull away. “You’ve all been given a second chance. Regardless of whether or not you think you deserve it, you have it. And you’re prepared to spend it feeling sorry for yourself, saying you don’t deserve it, instead of doing something with it?”

What surprises you is that he wraps his fingers around yours in response, holding your hand as if you’re his last connection to life. When he looks up at you, his expression is old enough to betray his youthful face. “Y’ don’t know what y’re talkin’ ‘bout, (Name). We shouldn’t ‘ave this chance in the firs’ place. It should’ve gone ta someone else. Y’ don’t know us, er what we done, er anythin’ else. Y’ don’t know… me.”

“But I want to.” Something strange thrums in your chest, your heart fluttering against your ribcage. “I don’t know you because you won’t let me. None of you will let any of us in even the smallest bit. Meanwhile, Lady (Mistress) and I and some of the others… we want to know you. Whatever that means. Even if there are things about you that aren’t pleasant. We like you. I like you. How do you know we wouldn’t accept you if you won’t give us the chance?”

What comes out of his mouth is a mix of a scoff and a laugh. That look in his eyes is so dark and tired you don’t know what to make of it. “Lord, y’know, I never met anyone like y’. Mos’ people don’t want us anywhere near ‘em, even the parts of us that ain’t so bad. But y’re tellin’ me, y’ expect me ta believe ― y’ actually want the bad parts?”

You lean even closer, almost desperate that you’ve come so close to potentially getting him to open up and be vulnerable with you. “Yes,” you breathe. So close you are now, your noses are almost touching. “I want the bad parts. I want the good parts. I want all of you. Is that so crazy?”

“Yeah!” This time it’s a full-blown laugh, though it’s so mirthless, he nearly sounds closer to crying than laughing. “That’s very crazy! Y’ oughta be locked up in some asylum! It ain’t enough yer lady took us in, but y’re tellin’ me y’ actually want every single part of me? Y’ take a look at me lately, ‘uh? I ain’t no gentleman! I ain’t refined, I ain’t sweet… I mean, damn, I look like a little kid!”

The tip of your nose presses to his. “You’re not, though. You’re not a boy,Peter; you’re a man.” You get the feeling very few people acknowledge that about him. He looks like a child, so he must be!

“And I don’t care about refined or sweet… and anyway, who says I want a gentleman?” Your hand stays in his, and your other arm snakes around his shoulders. “What I want is you. I understand if you can’t… or don’t want to… give me all of you. Or any of you. But… no matter anything else… know that there’s someone who will take every part of you. There are people here who want to accept you… if you’d only let us in. You’re not alone.”

Peter lets out a shuddering breath, and you can feel its heat against your lips. His hand clutches yours with such ferocity that his arm is shaking. After a long, long moment, his other hand comes to rest against your waist. How long must it have been since anyone’s treated him as the adult he is ― how long must he have been holding himself back so that he doesn’t make people angry or uncomfortable? “Stop,” he murmurs, and his hand bunches the fabric against your waist in a fist. “Stop bein’ so… good. I can’t… I can’t take it. Jus’ gonna make it ‘urt more… when we get chased outta ‘ere…”

He presses his forehead against yours, his chest heaving as if he’s using his whole strength to stave off the sobbing he’s already been holding back for his whole life. “… If I open up… if y’ do accept me… ‘n’ then I ‘afta leave y’ be’ind…” He’s still holding himself so tensely, wound so tight that he could snap at any moment.

“… I can’t…”

That he gives no resistance when you push forward and kiss him is something you didn’t expect. The way he leans into the touch, bowing to you with a stunning softness you weren’t sure he possessed, speaks volumes about how much he needs someone to embrace his whole self. He seems to even lose himself in your approval for what feels like an eternity.

You draw away, only to be pulled back in against him for another kiss. This one is rougher, hungrier, with a neediness that’s somehow the same as the first kiss and yet wildly different. It’s the kiss of a man who just wants to be wanted, who has tasted that someone desires him and became addicted to that in an instant.

When he pulls you back, you’re only too happy to submit to his wants. You can feel his hand at your waist, his fingers fanning out from that fist so they are splayed against your side.

As soon as you come up for air, you move your arm from his shoulders to let your hand rest on his cheek.

“Don’t worry, Peter,” you whisper as if you can quiet all his fury and anxiety with just those words. “You’re not going anywhere.”

[masterserris]

all things considered, i think the blue lions ending is the “true” ending and at least the happiest of endings... we’ll see when the dlcs come out tho

spoilers under cut

THE TEA IS SIPPETHED

it’s literally the only ending in which dimitri lives and becomes the “savior king” and saves the continent and creates a new democratic government to fix the broken old noble/chest system.

edelgard dies but like. she did that to herself by LITERALLY STARTING A WAR AND KILLING THOUSANDS OVER 5 YEARS. like that bitch had it coming. she may have wanted a better future by getting rid of a corrupt church but fuck that bitch honestly she coulda gone about it in a better way

idk about the golden deer route, i havent seen much on it, but eh dimitri still dies and i think so does edelgard so it isnt much better. just slightly better than the black eagle route. church route is also in the same boat.

idk man dimitri and the blue lions literally did nothing wrong. the kingdom did nothing wrong, they only ever acted out of self defense. so fuck the empire honestly afjsafnjaksfajksfjaks for as wack as dimitri gets it ONLY happens because of MASSIVE ptsd, depression, and anxiety caused BY the empire, his step mother, and edelgard. like his step mom had his whole family killed in front of him, blamed it on duscur to destroy them, then she got killed by edelgard i think or smth. his dad LITERALLY was beheaded in front of him and people/buildings were burned too. like holy fuck he’s just a KID goddamn

anyways, the empire is literally the invading imperialistic army so. yeah. no. edelgard can’t just be like: “aw ur in the wrong dimitri!1!! you are a bad person to keep fighting back and killing more people!!111!! even tho i started all this shit and killed thousands of innocent people to begin with!1! i burned a whole village mother fucker!” 

“UR A DELUSIONAL PRINCE FOR DEFENDING YOUR HOMELAND AND CHURCH ALLIES”

before killing him. like fuck. that. bitch. UGH.

like he didnt even know it was his step mom that did it until later when he finally takes the throne. it’s bullshit, all he knew is some bastards like the flame emperor were behind it, that’s all. he wanted Rightful revenge for the murder of his family, the destruction of garreg mach and the “death” of his teacher, AND the 5 year war that butchered the continent and his homeland.

dimitri is valid as FUCK for being pissed at her and the empire. wack. it’s all wack. he’s the best boy and the only route that leads to a good ending for him and the kingdom overall is the blue lions route so there. 

he gets all crazed but honestly who wouldnt. dont gaslight the man for having a super fucked up life and stressful from like age 10 and on. he deserves peace for all he’s been through and he does a fucking fantastic job once he gets his shit together.

edit: based on all the likes i’ve been getting on this i can probably just assume that I Am Right About This

sorry i dont make the rules nsfjanfjannfjnnjk

also all the shit edelgard wanted? dimitri went and did anyways. he got rid of the bullshit nobility and made things more of a democracy. like all she did was kinda pointless and made a lot of enemies.

sure, byleth still has that thing in their chest but who GIVES A FUCK. they still live their life just fine like damn. rhea retires the fuck away regardless. so she aint being a tyrant anymore. byleth is in charge. like damn all the “good shit” from the black eagle playthrough is IN THIS ONE PLUS DIMITRI LIVES AND MORE PEOPLE LIVE AND HAVE GOOD LIVES.

so yeah 

also also: empires always ALWAYS crumble as nations desire their independence. in a few decades after edelgard leaves you can BET your ass someone will wanna revolt from their control. imperialism never works forever folks. look at all of human history for that example. the other nations in fodlan should remain free.

i think by the end dimitri rules all the lands in fodlan? mainly bc the empire just got dethroned and they are destabilized (the alliance is also destabilized but i think they are mostly ok), so it makes sense he would rule/join the two (empire/kingdom) together for mutual growth. but they are still at least sorta recognized as their own territories. they aren’t just wiped from history like edelgard did ffs.

ALSO. ANOTHER THING (sorry i keep editting this bc i have so many thoughts)

THE FINAL FUCKING CUTSCENE OF BLUE LIONS

AFTER FUCKING EVERYTHING HE OFFERS EDELGARD HIS HAND. EVEN AFTER THE WAR. AFTER SHE TURNED INTO A FUCKING DEMON AND TRIED TO KILL HIM. AFTER. FUCKING. EVERYTHING. HE STILL GIVES HER ONE LAST CHANCE

HE FUCKING MEANS IT TOO, THIS AIN’T SOME BULLSHIT PLOY.

BUT NO, SHE FUCKING STABS HIM WITH THE KNIFE HE GAVE HER ALL THOSE YEARS AGO. SO HE HAS TO KILL HER WITH HIS LANCE. HE ISN’T STARTLED OR SURPRISED. JUST HURT.

STONE COLD AFTER BEING BETRAYED BY HER OVER AND OVER AGAIN. HE JUST RIPS THAT SHIT OUT AND DROPS IT ON THE FLOOR. HE’S DONE WITH HER AND NEEDS TO MOVE ON.

BUT! BUT! BYLETH LOOKS BACK AT HER AND SO DOES DIMITRI, BUT BYLETH STOPS HIM. DON’T LOOK BACK. MOVE ON. THE FUCKING HAND HOLD. LIKE DAMN. BEST BUDS FOR LIFE. THEY GOT EACH OTHER’S BACK LIKE NO ONE ELSE.

AND THEY MOVE ON INTO THE LIGHT TO THE CHEERING CROWDS BECAUSE AT LONG FUCKING LAST THE WAR IS OVER AND THEY STILL HAVE THEIR INTEGRITY.

after all the bullshit, they still have the highest moral ground and actually fix things. even after offering their enemy peace.

----------------------------------------------

after the cutscene!! the epilogue!!

LIKE MOTHER FUCKER, THIS IS ALL THE PROOF YOU NEED THAT HE IS THE BEST BOY AND HAS THE BEST ROUTE FUCK OFF

DEMOCRACY: CHECK

HELPING THE DISADVANTAGED: CHECK

LISTENING/HELPING TO MINORITIES/FOREIGNERS/DUSCUR: CHECK

CORRUPTION FREE: CHECK

BYLETH IS FINE AND IS THE NEW ARCH BISHOP FOR A BETTER CHURCH, RHEA JUST PEACES OUT: CHECK

MOVING PAST HIS MENTAL ILLNESS AND PTSD FOR THE BETTERMENT OF HIMSELF AND OTHERS/THE KINGDOM: CHECKITY FUCKING CHECK

THE ABSOLUTE LEGEND HIMSELF, DIMITRI

edit edit: also look at the murals specifically, i’m gonna point out some shit real quick. 

first, dimitri’s:

It’s in nature. Birds and trees and leaves. Calm and harmonious.

Children are playing and smiling, food is being passed out by the soldiers to the people. they are thankful. 

byleth is addressing the people, writing out reforms and decrees, making sure things are aright.

the people of duscur are literally at the side of dimitri, the king. 

looks like people from the alliance are on the far left of the mural, they are carrying gifts but they dont seem unhappy about it. just. normal.

dimitri is lower than everyone on the canvas besides a person on their knees asking for help and literal children. he is seated down at THEIR level, smiling AT them and doesn’t mind the kid pulling at him and playing. very relaxed. he’s sitting on just a regular ol’ tree stump. no throne. no opulence. just him, bc that’s all that’s needed.

NOW, LET’S LOOK AT EDELGARD’S OOHH BOY:

she is the tallest above them all, next to her is a divine figure, she is holding a staff as well. she is power. she is above all other peoples. she is STEPPING on a national flag with impunity. she doesn’t CARE she is the one in charge and no one can stand against it.

everyone from the other nations are bowing their heads and being submissive, but they certainly dont look happy. they look anxious as hell. their kingdoms are literally being trampled by the emperor. she is in her grand castle, gold and red and opulent. power and riches and rule.

the common folk, however look up to her. they see her as a second saint seiros. a better one. hence the divine figure next to her. she is like a god to them. not ideal. they seem happy, but no. they are looking to her for guidance in a troubled time caused by HER actions.

let’s not forget the mage in the back holding a knife. things are far from peaceful. 

the two very different moods of these pictures say all. one is true peace where everyone seems to be thriving with a compassionate ruler.

the other is domineering and crushing in presence. people are anxious about the future with violence still on the horizon. 

yeah, no. blue lions >>>> black eagles.

(i’m currently playing through golden deer which is looking p good so far, def better than black eagles and then im gonna do the church route. we’ll see how THAT goes anfjanjfnnfasjns)

edelgard stans dont interact