Smash or Pass + the Riddler
Send Smash or Pass + a name and my muse will say if they would smash or pass on that person.
"Does it count if I fantasized once about fucking his mouth just so he'd shut the hell up?" Roman said, scratching the back of his head. "Back when that nutjob Strange had control of Arkham City, the Riddler hijacked the network and god, he kept broadcasting and talking shit, about Strange, about Batman, even about me a few times! Couldn't fucking sleep for days because of his crap."
Would he Smash or Pass the Riddler? Roman scowled, white teeth flashing against ruined muscles of his cheeks.
"Eh. Smash, but only if I could fuck him hard in the ass for keeping me up all that time. Bet he'd love that, making him my spindly little bitch boy."
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fic rec friday 60
hello and welcome to fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics.
Dream, Seam by @ardett and @maychorian
Lance is the blue paladin. The Galra realize this before he does.
y'all....this au is insane. like genuinely one of the coolest concepts i have seen in this fandom. lance, taken by the galra as an infant and raised by them (altho they treat him like shit, obviously, so fair warning for that), as an asset, because they know he is the blue paladin, because he can See things he should not be able to see? and then he has to get integrated into voltron...yall nothing i can say can do this au justice. there's this almost ethereal feel to the entire fic, there were several moments where my chest was swoopy and my breathing was off bc i was like oh god oh god oh god. the complicated relationships, lance's struggle, and ALSO BONUS!!! das thace!!! i miss dad thace!!! do my fellow voltron geriatrics remember when dad thace was everywhere!! bc i do!! and i miss it!!!
2. five times someone didn't know keith and lance were dating, and one time everyone did by Shorty
Keith shrugs nonchalantly. โIโm still mad about the whole โbabeโ thing.โ
...
Or, exactly what the title says.
there is nothing i can say about this fic that isn't in the title ๐ it's exactly what it says it is. and it hits. but some crumbs to intrigue you: 1) one of the tags on this fic is 'hunk is a hunk', 2) it's a 2016 fic, and 3) trust me.
3. Some Secrets Don't Need To Be Kept by @squirenonny
Keith finds out he's part Galra. It's not as big a deal as he expects.
look. sometimes i just want things to be soft. what if keith had it easy? for once in his fucking life? what if people chilled the hell out? for ten minutes? this is seven thousand words of people being like hey keith u know what. take it easy. we got u babes. and i am grateful
4. How to Fake an Interest in Biochemical Engineering by @squirenonny
Shiro has a crush on Matt Holt. But every time he runs into Matt he ends up embarrassing himself. Shiro's best friend Allura is no help. His little brother Keith is even worse. But Shiro is going to make his move before graduation if it kills him. (And it just might kill him.)
SHATT SHATT SHATT SHATT SHATT. shockingly, i didn't just choose this one bc of the recent discourse lol. this is another 2016 fic that i adore. it's just -- disaster shiro, whipped shiro, down bad shiro, sweet matt, cackling keith, shiro who is dying of embarrassment, gay as all fuck shiro, etc etc. it hits. i laughed.
5. Neighbors by starryeyedchar
Lance stood in front of him, but it was a Lance he'd never seen before. Granted, Keith didn't know him well by any means, but he was positive that the regular Lance would be leaning against the doorframe with a smirk, maybe a couple finger-guns. Not this.
This Lance had wrapped himself in a blanket, and was still shivering slightly. His skin was much paler than usual, with flushed cheeks and sweat on his brow. He sniffled.
โUm.โ
Or the one where Keith and Lance live in apartments next to each other, and Lance is too sick for Keith to just leave him by himself.
this one is just very dorky and sweet. i love any fic that captures the exact moment in keiths brain when he goes oh no oh shit oh fuck hes HAWT and lance looks like genuine actual shit actually. its so funny to me
thatโs it for today!! iโll see yโall back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!
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okay Iโve seen a lot of posts about sterling just being crowley and. guys. the implications just hear me out ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ
bending lore slightly here BUT letโs say crowleyโs body was once inhabited by a human and crowley is possessing the body (maybe he kills the initial inhabitant bc he doesnโt care)
but he still has the guyโs memories. he doesnโt bother keeping up appearances with his โex wifeโ because he is too busy building up his hell empire. BUT for some reason he canโt quite identify, he still feels something towards his โdaughterโ. he lets the divorce happen and doesnโt feel the need (or desire) to fight for custody, but he can never quite forget her, to cast her out of his mind for good
some hijinks ensue with the leverage team. itโs mostly because even a grind culture demon wants some off time every once in a while, and for him the insurance investigator stuff is more of a hobby. interacting with the leverage crew is very low stakes for him, and honestly, quite amusing. they arenโt on his level power-wise, but that ford character gives him the mental exercise he hasnโt experienced in, well, he canโt even remember
he can feel their frustration and anger when they learn he has become employed by interpol and feeds off it. itโs great, and relaxing in a way he is never able to achieve while conducting hell-related business
one year he gets wind that olivia is in a really bad situation associated with his โex wifeโsโ new husband. heโs selling vital hardware to terrorists, and while that might actually be the kind of chaos he would normally support or be entertained by as the king of hell, something feels wrong about letting olivia stay anywhere near that man
he calls upon the bodyโs adversaries. he wouldnโt admit it, even under duress, BUT he feels slightly fond of them. nate for the three dimensional chess they play, sophie for her ability to charm and disguise, parker for her chaos and slightly unsettling nature (itโs the autism swag and being bad with human interaction but he doesnโt know that lol), hardison for his unapologetic intelligence and eliot for his hardened violent past and take-no-shit persona (heโs fun to tease)
they perform exactly as he expected, right into his carefully crafted plan. and then olivia is under his care and things get more complicated. he keeps her FAR, FAR away from anything related to the supernatural (heh). no one can find out about her, ESPECIALLY not those imbecile hunter brothers (if for nothing else than the embarrassment in revealing he has a weak spot)
not sure how to work it into this post but I also want to add that somewhere along the way he develops feelings for nate and sophie. the frame up job is near and dear to my heart and you canโt convince me that isnโt fighting as flirting behavior. his interpol persona is more of a side hustle so to speak, but he finds it fun (relaxing, even) to fill that role. there arenโt any obligations of other demons, bothersome hunters, or anything like that. nate and sophie are low stakes, except, they arenโt, really. they make him feel things he canโt ever really remember feeling. his heart beats fast when sophie sat in his lap and cradled his face, his hands sweat when nate gives him that certain smug look. heโs exasperated by the way they can run circles around him like no one else has ever before. they annoy him and get under his skin in a way no one else can and itโs infuriating. but also not, at the same time. maybe he likes it
and then the long goodbye job happens
hear me out and suspend your belief here for a second, because I canโt remember if crowley supernaturally knows when ppl die/are dead or not.
so nate is in interpol custody and the interviewer is obviously out of her depth. (most people are, when it comes to nathan ford.) he walks in and pours the man a drink, but heโs fuming. somewhere along the way he came to care about the team. hell and suffering is literally in his (official) job description, but he can admit (only to himself) that he admires what they do. itโs not for him, not anything close to where his passions and interests lie, but he respects their drive and purpose. he is also aware enough to acknowledge that they are a family, a group of misfits that never belonged quite anywhere except to each other.
and nate fucking blew it up, ruined it, because his vice is being so obsessed with the end game that he is apparently willing to let his team, his family, the people that anchor him to reality, die because the ends supposedly justify the means.
not this time. not to sterling crowley
he is enraged. he can admit within the confines of his mind that he cares for nate, for sophie, even for the other three (though nate and sophie have somehow made it a hierarchy where they are more important to him. which he will dissect later in private. maybe.)
nate let them die, he let sophie die, and for what? the black book? hell below, crowley would have made things easier somehow, if he knew that this was where nateโs sights had lied. he would have prevented this somehow. he wants to have prevented this. he doesnโt want any of them dead and is too afraid to check and verify because that would make it real. the idea of sophie (or any of them) somehow making it to hell instead of heaven would probably break something in him he might not be able to reapir fully.
he yells at nate- heโs angry. hellfire burning in his heart because everything is ruined. the deaths aside (however hard it is to set them aside in his mind), nate will not recover from this, not ever. this will be the start of the end, he is sure. a miserable, guilt-ridden existence where he drinks himself to death and nothing will save him. it plays out in crowleyโs mind in a thousand different ways that are beyond painful to conceptualize, even in theory.
the story starts to unravel and there is a game afoot. a solemn, miserable, infuriating game because the con is still in session because parker is alive and in the building- which sets another fire alight in his chest. โparker even know you got hardison killed?โ he rages for her grief when she finds out. he knows it will double when she finds out eliot has perished, too, because he isnโt fucking blind.
but nate is a brilliant man, lest he forget too quickly. they are all alive, and somehow still the entire crew slips through his fingers. heโs not even angry (he never would have been- he doesnโt actually try too hard to catch them. itโs about the game, not the consequences). he lets them keep the black book because heโs fucking exhausted and honestly, they more than earned it.
โnow weโre even. tell sophie to drive carefullyโ. they will never be even, not really. crowley would never admit or agree that being human is the superior state of being, but that have made him feel human in a way he doesnโt actually mind. they keep him on his toes and match him in a way unique to them, they remind him that there are other things than the realm of hell. not necessarily bigger than hell, but maybe just as important in a different sense.
watching the van drive away, something inside him settles. when he walked into the interrogation room that day he thought this was the beginning of the end. itโs not the end at all, not an end to anything. itโs a continuation of their story. maybe, he thinks, a beginning to a new era in it
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