#i am so much better than last year
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SO FUCKKNH READY FOR THIS YEARS TMRSS24
#status post#tmrss24#i can write you better now#i am so much better than last year#MY MEDS ARE NOW IN PERFECT COCKTAIL TO PRODUCE STELLAR FICS#I AM SO EXCITED#LETS DO THIS BITCH!!!!!!!#FUCK YEAH!!!!!#gnoandusksjd
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Redraw of my first post on this blog. Oh how far we've come B'*)
[Now with it's own redraw!]
#better drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#Credit where it's due: the first one is from November 2022. So its been a bit longer than the post date implies.#It was always part of the plan to re-draw my first wangxian art at the end of each season#but wow I really didn't give enough credit to the power of drawing every day for the last half a year#I've really loved doing this B*) I have found so much confidence in accepting the fact I'm not a 'non-artist' drawing mdzs comics#I'm a REAL artist drawing mdzs#and this is just the start!!!! I will keep drawing and improving and learning! and I will have a big smile like this every time -> B*)#I'm stunned that so many people found this blog so early on. Despite the roughness of my art...yall saw what I struggled to see#which was someone who was worth it#That and how art really is what you decide it is. I thought It had to be perfect. It doesn't need to be perfect. I see that now#I love you all so much! I am so much happier than I have been in years!#Sorry for being sappy twice in a row I promise tomorrow I'll be your little jester again
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Happy one year anniversary to my getting into Guilty Gear! Here's to much more fun in the time to come.
ID in alt.
#guilty gear#robo ky#illym art#keeping the caption simple bc idk what i want to say lol#its 2am here i just finished coloring the second guy#god. its so bonkers how much better i am at drawing than just this time last year . wonder how ill be in next year.#what the fuck are his shoes. every time i see them I get so upset#theyre just moe blobs#artists on tumblr#digital art#robots#the timing of this upload is very intentional
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day 5 on chapter 15 of Hands of the Emperor:
He played until the full moon sailed high above them, his last song one of the endless longing of a poet who had fallen in love with the Moon. [...] "It is nearly the eclipse," his Radiancy said in a quiet voice, and Cliopher realized that he probably knew its coming far more intimately than any of them.
#the hands of the emperor#hands of the emperor#artorin damara#nine worlds#inktober24#THIS ONE KILLED ME WUAGH.#i am in that part of the art curve where my eye is SO much better than my skill so it all looks OFF#anyways part of the problem is also this should have been a Colour WorkTM#you get the tone contrast between the background (which is also BLUES and GREENS)#against HR who is still in darkness EXCEPT for the fire glow on the harp and his skin and the BRIGHT gold of his eyes#ink is such a tricky medium to work with sometimes!!!! i also feel like i'm struggling with not making all the pieces the same...#last year's had more variety in stroke i feel this year i'm just hatching#it gives it a more coherent look though so i guess i can't be too mad#ANYWAYS. long ramble bc i'm putting off finishing a job application#but i should go do that now... if you've read this far have a cookie#OH AND!!!!!!! I WANTED THE MOON TO HAVE A RED GLOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! someday i will redo this in color
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My brother recently got into Demon Slayer so I wanted to make a kny oc for him since I did it before with both me and my sister and never got around to my brother :)
But I started by refreshing my own design because wow?? It’s been 4 years since I first made my kny insert character and a lot of things are now outdated! Not to mention my art has improved a lot, I hope. More details under the cut!
Meet Ebisu Koharu: youngest of the Ebisu family and physically the weakest. They only barely passed Final Selection by hiding for the entire week and surviving off tips from their older siblings. Nonetheless, they still want to contribute, which is why they hold onto a thick, leather bound book that records every demon they’ve ever met in precise detail, with labeled diagrams and scribbled calculations in the margins of different strengths and weaknesses.
After spending a few years on the job, and properly seeing their data contribute to the successes of other demon slayers, they’ve come a bit more into their own as a competent researcher and fighter, though they still do tend to request paired missions with friends and family to act more as a support role rather than a fighter.
The Ebisu family is one of scholars. The eldest daughter Kaoru is a doctor, and the eldest son Shougen is a chemist. By nature, fighting is not necessarily their strong suit, which is why their family breathing style and techniques are all poison-assisted. Of the three, Koharu is the weakest and most averse to combat— they wield a short half-length blade, with more of a smooth ceremonial hilt and sheath than any practical weapon.
#kny oc#kimetsu no yaiba#demon slayer#it’s so much fun seeing my brother be so late to the party for kny lmao#I love him but his takes are kind of shit ngl.#his character will be absolutely hilarious to do as well#because you better believe I’m going to lean far into how much he simps for giyu#looking for names is so much more fun when I can read some kana and am not using google translate#I found out that the combination of me and my sister’s names form kanari which i will not stop thinking about for ages#four years of improvement and four years of character development! Better character design and research skills#it’s a lot of fun thinking more about details when designing now#I.e. brushes are wildly impractical tools for writing on the go so koharu’s main choice of stationery is an imported fountain pen that cost#a decent amount of their savings#and they wanted their records to last longer so they also invested in a proper leather bound journal (also imported) rather than#a normal string bound book like their normal daily journal. this is also why the books open in different directions#in the event that their fountain pen breaks they Will Cry but they will also commit the details to memory and write them in with a bruh#with a brush after the battle ends
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Australian Rituals / Teeth of God Tour Bingo
Alroighte gwois, let's hear your predictions for the upcoming rituals. I *might* make another bingo (like on Wembley) - even if I don't, let's get them all in one place cus I think it's funny.
If you have something specifically for the Teeth of God Tour (because they are headliners and can do Cooler™ Fancier™ stuff) do specify. Same for strictly Australian Rituals. Some stuff may happen earlier (like when they debuted TMBTE and the new Espera masks), others may only happen on the Tour, so let's just put them all here and see what happens 😗✌️
Please reblog/put on the replies your predictions!! Whether serious or silly, please share!
Mine are:
One of the Vessels (Vessel or ivy OR Espera!!!!) singing onstage with Oli
Kangaroo/koala headbands / Aussie Explorer hat
EUCLID (more for Teeth of God but wouldn't be surprised if earlier)
The Apparition (PLEASE)
The Summoning pushups will return
Older song throwback (please please Sugar or Jaws. TNDNBTG for ToG)
Outfit change for the Vessels (only cus i think Australia is quite hot now innit? poor iv will MELT in that jacket)
NEW VESSEL JEWELLERY
This one I'm not super confident/keen on BUT new Vessel mask with Antlers (more likely on ToG but who knows)
#I AM SO EXCITED FOR THE RITUALS AAAAAAA IT'S RIDICULOUS#i kinda hate that because of timezones they will be playing during the day (for me) rather than later at night but!!#it means we can at least gather round in the evening and react together#cus lord knows how many full nights of sleep i sacrificed during the US rituals#actually yeah now that i think about it it *IS* better this way#ignore my earlier tag then i am thinking out loud#i need at least one picture of the crew with koalas. Just one#i know the girlies are there already so i'm assuming they are ALL there#(one of the Esperas posted on her stories. calm down guys i am not doxing anyone)#do you think they are doing fun Aussie stuff 🥺 trying vegemite and milo and petting koalas and fighting roos 🥺🥺#wait but Adam is not there yet. maybe her photo is from last year. or maybe they're all arriving at different times idk#i just hope they are not stressing too much and are having fun and healthy 👍#i will get SO emotional hearing Vessel fully recovered on stage again 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺#ANYWAYS I RAMBLED TOO MUCH OMG SORREH#if you reached this have a little snack for your troubles 🤲 🍊🧃🍬#sleep token#sleep token teeth of god tour
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gonna go get the new covid booster tomorrow ya girls gonna feel like SHIT
#stupid rant is stupid#yeehaw#i mean like hopefully i wont feel like shit for too long#we'll see lmfao ugh#better do my chores and cleaning today and tomorrow before i crash#also for my new people#i am a case where my body had decided to make me feel like covid when i get the shots#like the second shot of the first wave of vaccines put me down 5 days lol#that time has since reduced but its been a year since my last booster#so#mmmm#trepidation lol#but i would much rather feel like shit for a few days than make my current problems worse with getting sick or long covid
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This may be a strange question but have you ever been bullied in the tbhk fandom? I am having a hard time here
Heya no worries at all for the question! This is an important thing and if you needed to have a place to say it I am happy you did!
I really hope people will be nicer to you :// There is never a good reason for bullying unfortunately it happens a lot on internet QvQ my only advice would be to block those people and/or delete anonymous asks for a while if people are just putting stuff as anonymous :///
To answer your questions, idk if it counts as bullying but I was the target of some stuff like that yep, and tbh I don't really know why. People can have the opinions they want but I will be honest in the tbhk fandom you like a character or a ship that is not 'what everyone in the fandom should like' and people start menacing you for no reason.
A lot of people in this fandom are kids who sometimes don't get what insulting people do. (and not only kids but it is one of the reason, I feel like a lot don't have 'internet basis' like not saying everything about yourself on twitter help.)
Which is also one of the reason I am taking my distances with anyone in this fandom because I had too many unwanted stuff like when I was just trying to be nice and answer messages. It's not because we are in the same fandom that we are bffs.
This is sad to say but yes I don't think you can just have fun 'fun' in this fandom anymore, people will make sure you have a hard time for no reason and honestly I am tired of people who are unable to understand that we aren't just bots on the internet and that Surprise! people have feelings wow
I hope you will be better but don't hesitate to take some time off the fandom a bit ^^ I am being overly dramatic here because I had some bad experiences (I've been in the fandom since the start of 2020 so welp) but a lot of people are really nice and I am sure you can make some friends too ^^ (I did too! even if a lot aren't in the fandom anymore, it's nice seeing mutuals from far away doing their lives)
#I am so sorry for the wait on this ask#I really hope you have a better time now Anon#(and once again bullying is not okay#but there is a difference with people just living their lives and people who are straigth up creeps)#(I shouldn't have to mention basics stuff to anyone to understand that being an asshole is not gonna solve anything)#asks#tbhk#kind of a bad/sad topic but an important one I think#I say that kids are the ones who insult the most but I will be honest my main problem was with someone who was one year older than me lol#anyways this is my experience once again but I am sad to see that some people are being treated poorly ://#I honestly just stopped being active when it happened and honestly I would understand if you have this reaction too#and last but not least#don't let the fandom ruin the og work for you#because it happened way too much for me personnaly and that just makes me sad#(eg: I adore witch hat atelier but I am seeing some stuff from far away and I REALLY don't wanna interact with the fandom#I love this manga too much to be disgusted by it because of the fandom)#this is a lil bit salty but welp no one here should be surprised to see that I don't really like the fandom ahah#And I was a kid on internet once too#I tbh understand at some point to be angry at a lot of stuff and needing a place to talk/to have funB#I never understood the intention of hurting people willingly though#being an asshole and having opinions is different
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Odypen definitely and equivalently adore each other BUT I weirdly can't see them as the type to actually say "I Love you".
They still definitely vocalize their love for each other but it's more so in "My Joy", and "Extraordinary Woman", "Strange Woman/Man", etc. And very cheesy lines (both say some cheesy shit in the Odyssey, and he definitely does in the Iliad as well. "Joy like a drowning sailor seeing land" bit???)
I could see "I adore you" but even then, that's probably during very specific moments but the actual "I love you"??? I just typed it just now for fic shit and... It weirdly just didn't feel right and I don't know why. 😅
Idk maybe it's kind of because I see them as over the top in ways, they love wordplay and riddles and I think they'd almost think "...That's not good enough >:( " about it??? I don't know???😂
#I wrote this last night. I'll do the asks I got later. don't worry! :D#I am the cheese god remember?😅#I think these two would try to “out-cheese” each other and whoever is left speechless first loses#“I would forget my own name before I would ever forget you” bullshit. CHEESY#And yes. “I sleep in our nest with you or outside on the dirt” stupidity >:D#I plan for Odysseus as a beggar to ask why she waits so long. As he's been gone a longer amount of time than the time they had together#(Simply asking as reassurance. He knows his answer. Calypso asked him. but what about Penelope?) but she gets mad at the#“Beggar” and pities him as he must be telling the truth about having a miserable life if he never got the chance to know such devotion#How what they have could never be sullied by#something as trivial as distance and years. How the years with him were the best in her life. Only made better by their son.#'My dear Joy made songs and poems about love a reality as that was simply the life we shared. Even separated our 'song' will always echo#no matter how long it's been. I'LL make sure it always does. And I know he's doing the same... That strange man used to say that#even if he died his corpse would drag itself back to us before he'd ever give up.'#...I'm not one for 'odyssey zombie au' but when I first heard it yeah. :'D Came up with this back then#“His eyes as hard as flint or horn-” Bullshit! The sad lil fuck is hiding sobs with coughs and telling her to keep away for fear of her#catching whatever “illness” he has. The nice thing about being disguised as old means sickly old man works.#...#I'm noticing that Odysseus has a lot of silly oneliners while I write Penelope with a shit ton of set up :'D#They are so silly and I love them so much#...I wrote a lot :'D#Mad rambles#shot by odysseus#my headcanons#odypen#yahoo!!!#sometimes I wonder if I should tag this with more things but I don't want to taint the regular tags with my bullshit :'D I KNOW I'm insane
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i have no friends who care about me because my personality is boring and understimulating and i have no selling point as a friend and i am being left behind
#negative.#sometimes it’s like. oh i wish people liked me as much as i like them. lmao.#‘we should hang out!!’ ‘we should call!!’ ‘we should play a game!!’ okay but please actually do it :((#i feel like i take so much time to show love and care but maybe i’m doing it wrong?? do i seem fake?? is there something off putting??#i need better friends both online and offline because i’m socially starved#w the exception of like. two people??#every time i try it devolves into generic small talk#and there’s that autistic feeling that i’m saying everything wrong. i’m doing it wrong. they’re giving me that look or their text format#has changed and i’m being wrong#i can’t break out of it. i’ve just stopped reaching out these past couple months and like. genuinely no one said a thing#can anyone please show that they even think about me. like. god.#i go through hell every single fucking day and i have attempted suicide more times in the last year than the last decade#i’m not seeking attention i just?? would love for someone to give a single fuck for once. oh god.#the csa trauma that was triggered this year has been eating me whole. no one knows and no one cares to know#i’ve told two people now total now. even as i’m telling them it feels like i’m dumping it on them and making them uncomfortable#i regret telling one of them. my closest irl friend. god. should’ve kept it in. i can’t stop doing everything wrong.#anyways. i think…. i am going to go cry for a while lmao#man this sucks. mannnnnn this sucks#anyways.txt#(not a vague. never a vague)
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I have learnt things about Geto that I wish I could unlearn
#I think I'm getting about the same amount of spoilers as a few weeks ago except now I understand them#But like. I expected so much of him#Seeing gifs of that one scene in which Gojo gets distracted because of Geto almost made me watch this a year ago#Geto was actually my favourite character in that one JJK fanfic I read that I mention so often even if he had literally one scene#I know so much of the emotional turmoil and conflict in JJK and Gojo in particular depends on him#And you're telling me he's Thanos?#I learnt a few days ago that everything pretty much happens in one year. That there's one year between Geto's death and Gojo's#I thought it would be like ten years. Ten years of the act haunting him#But no? So it's not a broken teenager who has these ideas and is killed by another teenager to stop him?#It's a what? ~30yo man saying Light levels of stupidity? Even worse perhaps?#Goodness I hope this is not so. I hope this is better written than what I am seeing#Because goddammit I can't do it. It would kinda ruin every emotional scene from then on?#That one scene I was so looking forwards about patting Gojo's back or whatever. The one in which Gojo gets distracted. It just. I don't know#I won't be able to be moved if Geto doesn't work xD#I was fearing I wasn't going to like him a lot because my expectations were big but oh my god please not like this#This is way worse than I expected. Someone tell me he actually makes sense. What's the point of this whole political play#in which no one is fully wrong and no one is totally right otherwise? What is the point of the haunting. This feels just idiotic xD#And I don't care about the traumas and all that. That works for the teen not the ~30yo man#It would have worked if Gojo would have killed him like 1-2 years after everything not like a few months ago. Last winter#After like ten years a 30yo man should have realised this plan sucks.#Even if it's utilitarian. Who is going to make clothes? Buildings? Streets and railways? Bread??? Go have a talk with Nanami please#We have been told there are not a lot of jujutsu sorcerers. How are you going to fulfill all those needs out of nothing?#And even if it were little by little so the needs could be getting fulfilled little by little too#If you decimate humans won't that cause more curses? I guess he's thinking on the long run but still this plan seems like a mess#I hope it makes more sense than it's looking it will make because of my god this would truly be the last nail on the coffin xD#I am being more and more tempted to get to Utahime and then just drop this. This is breaking my heart xD#It could be soooo good and it always almost is#And then. AND THEN. Abfksbfndbfkan#Jen pick me up. Come solve this. I am scared xD#I talk too much
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2 years to the date that all of my hard work paid off and i was able to buy a home for myself and finally, at long long long long last, able to escape my abusive parents house. not just a house, but a home, and that difference has always been important to me. i feel mostly astounded by how quickly the years have passed since then, but also proud. not just of the achievement but also the way that i've been able to get to know myself, develop my identity, and figure out who i am in that short period of time. it's amazing the way you get to flourish in a world with stability (and not just in the material sense but that too!) when you're not spending every second running from and avoiding life altering trauma. i have some really exciting opportunities coming up to better help me work towards that very soon and hopefully the trajectory continues. it was such a difficult 24 years in getting there a couple of years ago and i really didn't think i'd even make it at times but my god it was so worth waiting for.
#mine#24/10/2022#home#and i say develop my identity because i've had to learn to do so many things that i wasn't able to before#most notably: establish boundaries and stop giving a fuck what others think#and stop letting others use me/treat me badly#and in part a lot of that was my responsibility that i didn't uphold. i don't like being a victim.#and calling people out on their bullshit and getting rid of the ones who are awful is just as important as them not doing it to begin with#i still have a long way to go here and in other areas too of course#but the growth ive had in these 2 years has been exponentially more than the amount of growing i did in the 24 before that#but beyond that like#being able to actually leave the house and do things#taught me so much about who i am and what i like and what i want for my life#i thought i knew but i really had no idea#and a lot of that has been reflected through stylistic/physical changes#but ive really gotten a better understanding of the actual person i am#which has in turn impacted my confidence (which took a horrible hit about this time last year i wont lie)#which then cycles back into the assertiveness
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Oh no.
Just got the news that Diane Feinstein died today. It’s an incredibly sad day for this country. The discourse around her has become incredibly poisoned in recent years, and earlier this year especially. But she was an icon of the Senate, serving California and championing good causes for literal decades AND serving as one of the O.G. examples for women and girls aspiring to power and a career in politics.
Regardless of what you may think of her, she was on her way to retirement at the end of this Senate term. It is profoundly sad that she spent not just her last few years in office, but the last few years of her life, hounded by throngs of strident deriders and smeared in the opinion-sphere for the simple crime of not being ready yet to go. I had fervently wished that she would be allowed to retire in grace at the end of her term, and maybe live a few years of peace afterwards. It was the least she deserved. Sadly, neither have gone to pass.
Please, let us reflect on the entirety of her career in the coming days, and try to ignore the throngs of “I told you so”s sure to come from the worst people on the internet. It’s the least we could do. Remember all the good she’s done for this country. It is immense.
#God I’m just so sad#she deserved so much better than she got in the last year of her life#This country really just hates women so much and I can’t stand it sometimes#Also BOY am I glad I’m not Gavin Newsome right now#Diane Feinstein#US Politics#Current Events
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#feeling really lonely lately and idk why#i mean i guess this is what 5 years of complete isolation do to ya lol#but yeah... sometimes it hits me that i don't really have friends (my fault obvs) and i just sit here with no idea how to change that lol#cause i have the curse of being ok while i'm alone and feeling incredibly anxious when i'm with people#so i convince myself that i'm better alone#and i am for the most part#but then 5 years since the last time i met someone that wasn't my mom or my brother go by and i go ''hmm... i don't think this is healthy''#and i spiral into a pit of dispair#like i can't believe that my highschool years when i was an absolute emo ''i hate everybody and everybody hates me'' kind of dude#were healthier than now#because i had online friends whom i talked to for hours about just random shit#and i met incredible people in uni but i haven't talked to them in literally i'm gonna say 5 years?#and the fact that they live 3hs away doesn't help but still#and i fully know I'M the problem#cause i isolate myself and i don't text and i don't hang out when they arrange hang outs#(again being 3hs away. relying on public transport and not feeling comfortable going out at night don't help..)#but also i put waaaayyyy too much pressure on this so that doesn't help at all#and i'm waaaay to awkward and self depricating to even attempt to have a meaningful friendship with anyone...#so i'm left here (by my own actions) alone and sad lol#i might be getting my period btw so maybe that's why i want to die today#but yeah... it's been in my head for a while now and i wanted to get it out so i can move the fuck on#if only i could be a normal person... sigh#angel talks#personal
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Managed to get some brownies in the oven. I used a box mix, I don't even care. Hopefully I can find the strength to make some rice krispie squares in case anyone doesn't like/can't have chocolate
#i don't know a couple of the people coming#it's two of my sisters and 3 adult nephews. some of whom i have not seen in years#and a couple of nephews are bringing their partners#i don't know what anyone likes and i didn't have much warning so i am just making whatever i have the ingredients for#super grateful now that walmart also fucked up our order 2 weeks ago and gave us doubke the marshmallows we ordered#so i can make the krispie squares#what else can i make? what is something everyone would like?? idk#mod post#food#baking#also it is a really good brownie mix we got from costco last week. ghiradelli. super tasty good stuff#better than i can make from scratch tbh#i hope no-one asks for a recipe lollll
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Literally me whenever someone sends an ask:
/pos, y'all make me so happy.
#REGARDS: MOD 💜 💙#not asks#mod gets mushy and emotional#I'm not kidding. like. i LOVE getting asks this blog is very carhartic for me#like... all of y'all are awesome.#also how the fuck do i already have almost 20 followers here?!?!?! omg???#like??? thank you?!?!#HABIT kin#Evan Myers kin#emh kin#i am screaming and jumping up and down happily like a fucking idiot#i go fucking FERAL when i receive asks. it makes me so happy#y'all have no idea how much i appreciate you despite only having this blog for like- less than a fucking week#THREE DAYS.#I've had this blog for THREE DAYS. and this is the best I've felt in fucking years.#it feels weird how happy this makes me#like... actually actively engaging in my kintypes and ENJOYING IT and allowing OTHERS to as well???#JESUS FUCK THIS IS AWESOME.#I feel much better than earlier. it probably won't last but THANK YOU. literally everyone THANK YOU.#it took way too fucking long to be comfortable admitting that i am fictkin.#but now that i have you're not getting rid of me. and i hope y'all continue to enjoy this as much as i do. <3
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