#i am so done with this country's bullshit
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FUCK ben sulyamen actually.
rant about the D&I charter in regard to being lgbtq+ below the cut but I do discuss the punishments for queer people in some countries F1 races in and that has the potential to be triggering, so.
TW: mentions of the death penalty & torture
look i love that hamilton’s mission 44 was able to help with the D&I charter that the fia/fom have recently signed, but that doesn’t help the fact that there are 195 countries in the world, and of those 195, only eleven have the death penalty for being gay, and yet f1 races in THREE of them.
of ONE HUNDRED AND NINETY FIVE countries, 65 punish homosexuality explicitly, and f1 races in four of them (Qutar: death penalty, UAE: death penalty, Saudi Arabia: death penalty, Bahrain: semi-illegal). Beyond that, in Hungary, Azerbaijan and likely the USA, queer people face discrimination and in the case of Azerbaijan, imprisonment and possible torture.
jesus. it’d be so easy to race in countries that just don’t criminalise being gay, let alone give the DEATH PENALTY for it, but no, he just has to accept the money, and then greenwash the whole thing with some bullshit about renewable jet fuel and a instagram post with some pretty words.
what happened to the bullshit ‘we race as one’ little slogan they used to have plastered everywhere? vanished in 2022, with Domenicali saying they needed to change “gesture to action” to sky sports. i haven’t seen that happen. the ‘we race as one slogan’ was designed to encompass multitudes more than just lgbtq+ rights, fair enough, but they co-opted the rainbow branding for it, which is iconic enough that by itself people associated rainbows with lgbtq+ rights. for them to have used that branding to clean up their image and sell shittons of tickets and merch, to then do absolutely fucking NOTHING for lgbtq+ people within the sport is fucking disgraceful, and the worst kind of rainbow-washing.
ralf schumacher has done more for lgbtq+ people in the sport than the fia/fom ever has. by coming out whilst alive and famous, and by being a race winner, he has single-handedly given any young kid who is queer and wants to be an f1 driver a figure to look up to. he’s created a possibility for every young queer kid out there who loves f1. hell, i hate his opinions most of the time, but that doesn’t prevent me from standing behind the opinion that he’s one of my faves now, even when i disagree with him. (which is often.)
but it SHOULDN’T have to be down to individual ex-drivers. fucking hell. the fia is meant to KEEP THEM SAFE. no driver will be able to come out whilst driving at the moment, even if their team and fom/fia were fully behind them, because they wouldn’t be able to race in some countries for fear for their life. fuck that. i mean, i’d love to go into motorsports journalism, but i face the prospect that i wouldn’t be able to be open and public about my sexuality if i did make it, for fear of being imprisoned etc in what would essentially be my workplace in some countries.
it’s just so fucking frustrating. i get that a lot of people have an issue with it due to the racism still kind of baked into the institution of the sport, although i think an argument can be made toward it being more of a classism problem than specifically a racism problem (aka more white kids get opportunities because more of them are rich. not JUST because they’re white, although there is still that discrimination) but at least they aren’t in a situation where if they go to certain countries, they are risking being legally killed for their sexuality.
(yes, obviously, police brutality and racism can make it fucking risky and awful for poc to go to some countries, because they have a higher risk of being ‘accidentally’ killed. Qatar has stones people to death LEGALLY for being gay. these things are not actually the same)
and this charter does fuck all. i’m sorry, it probably will help for women and poc in motorsports, and for that i’m grateful, i truly am. it’s been long coming, and it’s fantastic that it’s here and hopefully will be used to actively help increase diversity & inclusion in those areas. that does not, however, negate the fact that NO mechanic, engineer, scrutineer, hospitality worker, driver, broadcaster, photographer, team principal, commentator etc can come out and be able to go to these countries without fear. none. THATS what the fia/fom should be fucking focussing on, eliminating fucking death threats to it’s workers.
#tw death penalty#tw torture#both only mentioned#f1#formula 1#ben sulyamen#fia#fom#lewis hamilton#ralf schumacher
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Hello, I only recently found this blog and it finally clicked why everything in ii felt so off to me. So much undertoned bigotry.
I am going to use bullet points about my feelings so I don't go off trail.
1. I like the show but as in "this has potential, I like the concepts, I like the ideas and I like the characters to some extent. I just wish it was in the hands of actual good people and writers." I am not that shocked by the revelation that AE is horrible, I just assumed that was the case, I don't know them irl + when creators become popular they usually become scums (but AE was probably scums on earth way before their popularity.)
2. As a Southern Asian, I felt really weird about candle, especially silvercandle. And reading this blog it started to make sense, she's something about that area's (maybe just Asia in general, I wouldn't put it past AE to generalise the largest continent and all their countries) culture (? I hope i am making sense) and obviously Asia is still a big place and I can't speak for all plus I only watched the shit show of III once so I don't want to have to go through it again just for this point to make sense because you already know how horrid it is.
3. Bomb's character is ass, just an excuse to make fun of speech impediments (pls tell me I wrote it correctly) I don't have anything beyond him about that. So obviously it just feels like ablelism, actually no, it is ablelism. I am not disabled but I am sure that making the only part of a character his disability is not done in good faith.
4. The rep is dogshit. Not even enby and I feel bad for all the rep that gets praised to bits.
5. Weird writing choices, the plot points are alright ig, just wish they weren't written by bigots. (Someone pls rewrite this shitty show)
6. The whole Cabby thing just felt weird like really weird. Why is she antagonised for essentially doing what fan does and having a very valid reason to do it , it's her disability aid(? Maybe I am wrong but I do not respect the show enough to rewatch it)
7. Someone pls save Paper, he doesn't deserve this dog shit DID rep. I hate the implications that people who do face the problem he does are evil like is that the lesson you wanna teach kids? Like especially kids with mental disorders who might watch your show, actually who are watching your show?
8. The excuse of "it's a kids show" is dumb. Kids deserve content that teaches them something actually nice. The excuse that kids don't care about what you show them is exactly why we end up with adults like the meatheads on AE. These things, the shows they watch majorly affect these children. And I don't think a kid should carry the values of a fucking Zionist, and have that subtle not so subtle subtle bigotry in their mind. And obviously it's not just shows which affect them (duh) it's a combination of the media they consume, the adults around them and various other factors but media definitely affects a child's ideologies but I am definitely not smart enough to comment on that.
9. Obviously I am not really mad at a fictional show but I am mad at the very real people with real actions that have consequences, are continuing to be horrible and do not apologise for it.
Uh end note I guess, I hope the people on AE start changing now and if they don't then I hope they die choking on their lunches because they don't deserve to go out with things like murder, bombs, shit that will obviously be used to make you feel bad about them. I hope they get heart attacks and die.
Anyways something positive, to my knowledge, there is only one admin for this and all I gotta tell them is that they are doing great and I thank them.
Glad to be waking up people against this bullshit show and this bullshit crew
also thanks for following!
#confession#ii neg#ii negativity#inanimate insanity neg#inanimate insanity negativity#animationepic#animationepic neg#ii osc#inanimate insanity#object show#object shows#ii#osc#object show community#tw death threats
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Gooooodmorning tumblr!! Here's the reminder that project 2025 is going to crush almost everyone in the US and has quite a few parallels with nazi rhetoric. Please educate yourselves on this potential dystopian future, and do what you can to prevent it. I know this isn't my normal content, but it needs to be said, if anyone wants, I can make a venn diagram of all the overlaps between project 2025 and nazi rhetoric and beliefs. Don't let a gun have more rights than you.
#project 2025#what the fuck is wrong with people#i hate republicans#i hate nazis#fuck the usa#fuck the us government#i am so done with this country's bullshit#morning post#do your own research#if project 2025 occurs please shoot me#pissed#usa#us government#not my usual content#us govt#politics#at this point anarchy would be better
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still being stalked by someone who has abused me for a decade so I'm really not comfortable being around as much.
I'll be reaching out to police again on Monday because this is getting ridiculous and beyond out of hand.
I'm also still beyond uncomfortable with my old alias being used because I'm now living in the same state as the ex-boyfriend who nearly killed me and he knows me by that name. Continuing to use it publicly to harass and belittle me puts me in genuine danger.
I'm just vibing and existing. Please leave me the fuck alone.
#ooc ↳ mox#im tired and im tired of this same fucking person#making claims and harassing me when all ive done is block their fucking blogs#i am so fucking tired of lies and bullshit and pretending to be okay with it#act like the fucking adult you are and stop deliberatly putting me in danger#i literally JUST got to the point of feeling safe enough to go out and its fucked up#that youre doing your best to ensure i feel trapped even from a fucking country away#fuck off and get help
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A mid-week Fourth of July is such a curse because we get fireworks all week, plus BOTH weekends. How are people not over it?
#I actually decided I will never stop complaining about fireworks#and fourth of july which is by far the worst american holiday#prolly worst holiday overall#up there are least#I think I should probably leave the country for a week every year and miss this holiday#it will make me complain less at least#text#bullshit#also I'm not done because it's such a nice night out#but I have to close up the windows so the fireworks don't keep me up all night#(if you can believe it people don't actually stop setting off loud explosions at a reasonable hour)#they wait til like 2 or 3 am#because they suck
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#last night i dreamed that i was trapped in my same patterns as i am while awake but the building i work in was bigger#and i was so dizzy and disoriented that i kept stumbling from room to room. up and down stairs. running into people who would stare at me#in confusion until one grabbed me in the way u do when someone is being concerning and incoherent and he made me sit in an auditorium#with a doctor who already knew my name. but then i was back in my messy apartment staring down at a lizard id let die because id forgotten#to feed it. part of my brain was in contact with my mum and she said i should come home so i did. i appeared there but i seemed somewhat#transparent. liked id been there a long time so no one noticed my being there was out of place. they were there but doing other things#i wandered into a room where some ppl i knew from hs were performing surgery. i went to wash my hands and the soap came out as blood#my sister tolerated my presence. which is out of character. she seemed to sense something was wrong. then i walked back into my current#apartment halfway across the country. caught a glimpse of myself in the bathroom mirror and became transcendently angry#uneasy dreams. but at least i didnt have to get up at 6. i mean i still only got like 7hrs sleep at most but better than 6 i guess#its probably bc i spent so much time hysterically crying and staring off into space yesterday. by the end of the day i felt so awful i#wondered if i might b getting sick. dizzy in that way thats not quite dizzy#but today should b pretty laid back. still doing things but probably ill hace time to get some non work bullshit#done. hopefully. then its back to 11hr days until Monday#then the experiment is over and i havr to deal with the consequences. and finish my other destructive project#which has at least 11 days left#well see what happens 🫠#unrelated
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Ok one more thing.
#all the people in the notes going Ohh ukraine is just a nato pawn for the us proxy war dontcher know#'why should the us care about fucking ukraine' was a word for word post i saw#its ok folks you dont have to spell it out i know yall dont care anyway i just have to look at the url with marx in it or the hammer and#sickle in the icon or all the communism fairytale rapture ideology on yalls blogs#and before yall come for me i am not a goddamn right winger or whatever you call them over there i just hate communists cos they killed#half my family. and yaknow half my country too.#i knew personally people who've died in this war I've lost family to the ussr regime and I'm one of the lucky ones#because my parents are safe. but my grandmother? uncle? three baby cousins? any next air strike could be it#this shit isn't easy and i truly don't understand why people think it's ok to go out there and present their moralistic arguments#for why we should all just be left to die because of the worst people in our country. the vast minority. as if theur countries are better#this holier than thou attitude drives me up the fucking wall it really does#anyway. im done with this for tonight#if anyone feels like debating this with me i invite you to shove your head even further up your ass so i don't have to hear your bullshit#war in ukraine
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"it's easier to leave an abusive situation than it is to stop an abuser" :^( but it's not easy :^(
#repeating patterns repeating patterns repeating patterns repeating patterns#im not unsafe btw just. :^) scared :^)#tired.#starting to stop walking on eggshells kind of. in a cowardly way. like responding some of my real thoughts but at 4am#i want to scream. im not like that but i want to yell and tell her to leave me alone forever and i just want to be able to rest !#and to not be afraid. i want to move. i want to drop off the face of the earth. i want to go to bed. i want to stay awake and on guard.#idk. im tired. im so tired and i want it to stop. it's not even a big deal.#the thinly veiled insults bother me more than anything else. insult sandwich on compliment bread.#im so pretty im so stupid im so funny. im smart im too insecure im beautiful. im the most interesting person she knows im evil im talented#it's not even the worst thing it just pisses me off so much. do you think this is helpful to say? do you think this is normal?#do you think you'll get what you want insulting and belittling me as long as you tell me you think im attractive?#it's always how pretty i am. like some superficial bullshit is going to make up for an insult or make the insult disappear#and everyone else gets to leave but if i leave she'll die and it'll be all my fault and this is just like x y or z#and didnt i know she almost experienced trauma as a child but didnt? and how that effects her?#fuck. i hope she sees this tbh. how fucking insulting to see something someone's experienced and say that couldve maybe happened to me#but the person who couldve done it lives in another country and never came here.#what the fuck. what the fuck.#so it didnt happen to you? you cant lay claim to it at all? yet you think you understand me or that even if it did happen it's all the same#im going to lose my mind. im so. fucking. over it. but im a coward and i dont want her to die so ill grin and bear it.#and she'll tear out all my skin and ask if it's a little too much and ill say it's fine and she'll say im so gorgeous but i'm disgusting#but at least im kind. and ill say okay. because if i say anything else it's a threat on her fucking life.#tbh im only posting this now bc i know no one will likely read it. perpetual coward when it comes to this shit#because if i tell someone the full extent they'll ask why i didn't leave sooner. but i did!#i left and i got bombarded and overwhelmed and i was so tired of being scared of running into her everywhere#and i just. eased back in. and said it would be less this time. and it is so much more. it is so much worse.#ive lived in that fear before and i was so tired of it. it was a big reason i moved so far for college. and i cant just run away#so this seemed better. but it's so much worse. id rather hide every day of my life. keep an eye out everywhere and run away.#it wasnt so bad really. it was tedious and nauseating and i only ever explained it to one person. but it wasnt impossible.#this is much closer to impossible. this is soul crushing every day. and the things she does arent even as bad i dont think#it just doesnt stop. at least in high school i eventually got it to stop. i just had to be avoidant. this. wont stop.
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i am a slave to deadline pressure and i mcfuckin hate it
#i have literally had 3 years to finish this shit#i have done so much bullshit other than this thing i need to do in order to graduate#i have taken so many classes and done well#won awards#learned a new fuckin language and lived in the country for a summer#and yet i still haven't written this fucking paper i want to peel my skin off what is wrong with me#there are no words to express how disappointed i am in myself#i will stay up all night to write this bc that is the only way it will get done#fuckin adhd#i'm getting angry emails about finishing it#and the sad thing is that they make me feel guilty#and i become paralyzed and unable to do shit if i feel guilty about it#aaaaaaAAAAAA#i want to scream into the void#i will literally be so much less stressed when i finish this#a huge weight will be lifted off my shoulders#and yet#i sit here#like a fucking dumbass#end rant
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I am so sick and tired of seeing all these “I know biden is bad, I know biden has done some bad things but vote for biden because trump will destroy our democracy” posts bc a) clearly our democracy is a sham and b) STOP DEFENDING BIDEN, STOP DOWNPLAYING WHAT HE HAS DONE! you do not need to, nor should you, defend biden to any degree. you can say that we cannot let trump win without that other bullshit. biden is pure evil, he is scum. and part of what makes him so horrendous and disturbing is the charade he puts on like he’s the good guy and trump is the evil, the bad to his good. quite literally the only thing that he has going for him is that his opponent is somehow even worse than him. that his opponent has no pretense of even trying to act like he doesn’t want to fully be a dictator. stop fucking defending biden. stop fucking downplaying all the horrendous, despicable, evil things he has done and is continuing to do. he is fully funding and supporting and enabling a genocide. it helps no one.
and if/when biden loses, he only has himself to blame.
ideally we would all rally behind a third party candidate and the electoral college wouldn’t exist. ideally these wouldn’t be our “choices”. idfk what to do because trump cannot win but how can any of us in good conscience vote for biden’s evil, fascistic, decrepit ass ??
what makes biden so different from or better than trump? nothing!!
- he is unconditionally supporting netanyahu and his genocide of Palestinians
- democrats have done nothing to protect nor help us as roe v. wade was overturned, we still have student loan debt, the cost of living is unaffordable and the minimum wage remains unchanged, biden has increased police presence and funding for police (more so than in 2020, despite the eruption of BLM protests and the murder of George Floyd and his promise to George Floyd’s family that he wouldn’t let his murder become just another number, another hashtag), and so. much. more.
- biden is building off of trump’s policies - specifically and most recently, biden has just announced an executive order to deny asylum requests. the increase in police funding and the further militarization of police was also built off of trump’s policies
the u.s. is an evil sham of a country.
as ethel cain said …
#I think i’ll vote third party. we have no real fucking choices.#we can’t not vote but we also can’t vote for evil genocide joe#but also it’s like#it doesn’t even fucking matter bc it’s all a sham and they’re not even trying to pretend that it’s not#every fucking day they further rub it in our faces that our so-called democracy is a complete and utter sham#one prime example being the violent suppression of peaceful pro-palestine protests#where are the debates? where is any of the bullshit from previous election years??#genocide joe#FREE PALESTINE#CEASEFIRE NOW#END THE OCCUPATION#signal boost#gaza#tw cussing
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as a communist who actually does work in my community i'm interested to hear why you think not voting in an effective manner against project 2025 is a logical and helpful course of action.
i doubt you asked this in good faith but ill entertain you just this once
1) i live in california. biden will win this state easily. my vote LITERALLY does not matter.
2) to say im "not voting against project 2025" is disingenuous as all hell. im obviously opposed to that platform and i intend to vote down-ballot for candidates who would oppose its measures in congress. also joe biden has done NOTHING to protect trans people. look at how his admin has recently dropped all support for youth trans healthcare. he is not fucking helping us. honestly not a fan of the way you worded this its deeply condescending.
3) i intend to cast a vote for a candidate who will not use our military force and imperalist wealth to exploit and murder people all over the world. i am opposed to united states imperialism before anything else and believe this country needs to stay out of everyones business. im sick of seeing our "leaders" excuse the ceaseless murder of palestinians with a smile on their face. as a "communist" this should be your main driving force as well anon, tbh. as long as democrats run imperalist candidates i will not vote for them
4) if biden somehow manages to win this year, the dems are still famous for their concessions to the right. what makes you think he wouldnt sign half of proect 2025's policies into law for the sake of "reaching across the aisle" or some bullshit. plenty of dems have given up on protecting trans right because its a "bad look" and they are the party of spineless cowards setting that aside the right just regroups and makes project 2029, 2033 and so on. to blame individuals for "not voting effectively" (are you sure youre actually a commie anon lmao) is missing the forest for the trees. fascism is already entrenched in every aspect of american politics. this is a cultural sickness enabled by a system that allows hatred-as-politics to thrive. its the fault of the monsters who want to do this in the first place not some internet tranny in a blue state who wants to at least try and vote my true conscious.
there is no moral justification to vote for biden. to blame me and people like me for project 2025 is honestly disgusting. you should be ashamed of yourself and never send me or anyone else an ask like this again. if you are really a "communist" sit down and think about what you are REALLY supporting when you chastise people for not wanting to vote for EITHER of the Senile Genociders being presented by the 2 party partnership. see ya
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— homelander quotes 。・:*:・゚☆ 。・:*: | tell me i'm your national anthem
❝Did mommy and daddy not teach their little girl respect?❞
❝I could always just make you get on your knees. To either suck me off or lick my boots. Maybe both.❞
❝Do you not like me? I’m a fucking hero! I am the face of this country. Yet you treat me like any other insignificant schmuck on the street. I deserve some goddamn respect!❞
❝Y’know what? That does seem like a good start at fixing things between the two of us. You can have the honor of making me dinner. Maybe we play house for the evening.❞
❝Well, it’s either that, or, once I’m done with my dinner, I carry you over to your bed and have my way with you. Whether you want to or not.❞
❝Oh, honey, I can do whatever the fuck I want.❞ (...) ❝And I think you’re going to like it.❞
❝I know you’re in there. I can hear your heart. So, you can either open the door, or I’ll just break a window and let myself in.❞
❝What? No home-cooked meal for your favorite superhero tonight? And after all that hard work I put into making a meal out of you just twenty-four hours ago.❞
❝You are going to be a good little girl and get to cooking. I’m not asking twice. I’ve been hard at work all day. It’s the least you can do for me after bothering to fly all the way here to keep you company.❞
❝I’m no A-Train, but that doesn’t mean I don’t still love a good chase, sweetheart.❞
❝They’re just the ones who sign my paychecks. See, they work for me. The whole fuckin’ world does. Including you, honey. I’m the real hero. My little tagline where I say otherwise? It’s bullshit. But the people eat it up. They swallow the garbage I feed them with a grateful smile.❞
❝Maybe I should gift you a Homelander pack of panties.❞ (...) ❝I could be with you all day long that way. Right between your legs.❞
❝I’m not going to rape you. If I wanted you on your back with your legs spread, you would be.❞
❝You’re mine,❞ he whispers. ❝You belong to me now. Do you understand?❞
❝You understand me,❞ he continues. ❝Like no one else has ever bothered to. We’re together now. Got it?❞
❝It wasn’t a question. I wasn’t asking. You’re mine.❞
❝If I find out you’re seeing anyone else, you won’t like what happens to him. So, I suggest staying loyal. Not that anyone else could ever compare to me, anyway. I mean, you should be happy about this—that you’re the young woman I’ve chosen for myself. It makes you special. Being mine, that is. A rich superhero. The supe.❞
❝The greatest man in all of America—the world—and I’m all yours.❞
❝We'll, I’d just fucking kill him. I’d kill any man that looked at, or touched you, y'know?❞
❝Because we belong together. I mean, you belong to me. You're my property.❞
❝That's my good girl. Besides, once I got done taking care of business, you'd have nowhere else to go.❞
❝I’d make sure that I’d be the only thing you had left to run to,❞ he says—his tone slightly threatening. ❝In all the fuckin' world.❞ (...) ❝Because I am your world.❞
#quotes: homelander (tell me i'm your national anthem)#homelander x y/n#homelander x you#homelander x oc#homelander x reader
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I agree with you about your stances on punishment, and I think it's so important to see that perspective instead of the more common one. I do not want to live in a world with the death penalty or prison.
But I'm very curious how you got to the point where you want your abuser to be happy. Capital H happy. I've never seen that before. I think it's great, and it must've taken a lot of time, and if it's not too personal, I'd like to hear about the process. If not to help myself, to help someone else. I'm personally very very jaded to the whole "forgiveness" mentality (it seems very catholic to me somehow? I forgive you so I'm better than you?) But the way you put it feels different somehow. Sorry for picking your brain, and if it's too personal I totally get it. Thanks for your time.
Thank you for this question.
Hm, it's a tough one. It may be informed by my lack of any singular capital-A Abuser. Certainly, I have had people who were abusive to me longer term (my mother especially), but for the most part it was many dozens of adults in single instances or shorter term situations during my childhood and teenage years that raped or otherwise harmed me. That lack of any singular individual to act as a locus for all the damage may have made it easier for me to come to a point where I wish them well.
I remember being 19, face in my toilet bowl, puking my guts up after downing a fifth of rum in an hour or two. I think it was a Thursday. I understood my mother for the first time. I wanted to stop drinking, and I didn't know why I couldn't.
My roommate at the time slept on a mattress on the floor in the living room. He left his family the day he turned 18 and took the Greyhound across the country to crash with me. We were good friends when he got here, but my negligence and failure to control my drug use ruined that relationship within a few months. He stayed with me for two years. He didn't have other options.
I don't remember those years well at all. Besides various temp jobs, all I did was drink, get fucked up, and make messes I never cleaned up. It was a one bedroom apartment and I had the bedroom, he couldn't really go anywhere. He didn't really know anyone. I was a fucking terror to live with, and a terror he couldn't even really get away from.
And I didn't mean to be that way. I didn't mean to hurt him with my dereliction. But it doesn't matter, y'know, impact is more important than intent. I fucked up bad.
Eventually he left. I was and still am filled with remorse for putting him through what I did. Maybe this perspective is the christian upbringing, maybe it's twelve step bullshit, but often I see my feelings as very self serving. I can justify just about anything, as long as I use enough self pity. But this feeling was different. It was just... remorse, pure and unfiltered. No rationalizations as to how it wasn't really my fault, no equivocations, no blaming outside factors, just acknowledgement that I fucked up and I hurt someone I loved. I was sorry that I had done that.
Humility does not come naturally to me. This was a humbling experience.
I--and everyone I've ever met, everyone who ever harmed me--am a human being. No more, no less. In each of us is potential both to love deeply and to do great harm to others. No one is without both these potentials.
It comes down to this: what I wish for myself, I must wish for all.
Do not mistake me here--this does not neatly translate into a pragmatic political position. For me, this is simply some sort of spirituality, that is to say, how I strive to navigate my life, day at a time, in the world as I find it. This is as small scale as it can get.
I understand that feeling about forgiveness you mention. What I have to say about it probably won't help the christian connotation; I am an atheist and a subjectivist, though obviously culturally evangelical. Maybe it is that last part that influences this next, but I don't feel I have the authority to forgive anyone. Or, in another word, 'let he who is without sin cast the first stone.'
Now, of course, I believe in neither god nor sin, but I do believe in harm. 'Let he who is not capable of such harm cast the first stone,' perhaps. Not all harm is equivalent, certainly, but no one is innately capable or incapable of greater harm than others. The ability to actually do harm is relative to relations to power, no doubt, but a given power relation is not innate.
So yeah I end up back at 'i have no moral high ground over or under anyone else, the forgiveness is neither mine to give nor withhold,' which frankly is a rather christian viewpoint.
There's this idea in Judaism that has stuck with me for the last few years: tikkun olam. To repair the world. What must I do to ensure my part in that repair happens?
There is so little I have control of. The only thing I can change is what I do. If the world around me is hardened and cruel, why must I adopt that cruelty into myself? Will it get me better outcomes in life? Perhaps, perhaps not. I have found it hasn't, but others may find it has. But that's talking about results. And I don't have power over results.
I cannot change the world, cannot repair it alone. But I think I can work to repair myself, and in the process, the smallest portion of the world may be repaired alongside me. Maybe, maybe not. It becomes a matter of faith. Or to put it in a therapeutic framing, it's an 'even if.'
I'll end with this, an old twelve step saying: "resentments are like drinking a bottle of poison and expecting the other person to die."
What is a resentment? Re- as in once more. -sent, as in sentiment. Feeling something once more. It is the reanimated corpse of a feeling, not the feeling itself. It looks like the feeling you know, maybe walks and talks like it too. But it's rotting away. It died long ago. So why should you pretend the corpse is alive? It moves, it rasps, but it's something else now; it only shares a body with the original, nothing else. So maybe it's time to let go, and begin to move forward.
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The best(worst) thing about adderall being a controlled substance is that I am in enough pain due to my blood clot that going places is a bit of an ordeal, and so I asked my psychatrist if I could do my appointment today for my refills over zoom so I can rest and recover from said blood clot, and she said no I absolutely have to come in or reschedule and she refuses to do my refills over zoom.
To be clear, this is an appointment where I walk into her office, tell her my meds are working, and then she gives me my refills and I leave. It takes like 5 minutes tops. This can 100% be done over zoom because that's what we did during lockdown, and I know for a fact other psychatrists in the area do zoom appointments for adderall. But because the world isn't ending apparently her office requires I drag my injured ass all the way down there, in debilitating pain the entire time, or just go without my necessary, life-saving medications until I get better. And tbh it seems fucking immoral to me to make someone who is injured and thus already having severe mental health issues go without their meds until they recover or risk their health coming down to the office for an appointment that takes five fucking minutes and could be done over zoom.
Anyway this is why the system of "controlled substances" in this country is fucking evil and we need to get rid of it. In addition to all the other problems it also allows psychatrists to make so many bullshit rules about how their patients have to behave and I'm sick of it.
And I'm absolutely going to make sure I look extra fucking miserable when I go there today. I'm gonna have my sling and my fiancé pushing me in my walker. Just out of pettiness. Because this is bullshit.
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if you're a boycott Eurovision person just block or unfollow me, I'd like to be able to follow the tags I follow without it being clogged with moralfags trying to guilt trip people into getting on their bandwagon.
See, at Eurovision when a country does a thing you don't like, you let them join and then boo them until they leave themselves. Which is probably what's going to happen to Israel this year, not for the first time, and certainly not exclusively to Israel.
Russia invaded Georgia in 2008, have since been occupying a third of their territory, and hosted the next year. Even Georgia didn't boycott that year, but trolled the Russians into banning them that year by sending a song called "We Don't Wanna Put In".
Russia invaded Crimea in 2013, and in 2014 passed the foreign agents law and gay propaganda law, in-between occupying more bits of Ukraine. In 2014 the hair-conjoined twins that got memed by John Oliver that one time got booed so hard the EBU had to invent boo-dampening technology the next year. Of course Conchita Wurst won in 2014, which the Russian broadcaster had to show in full or they would lose broadcasting rights, despite Conchita Wurst *existing* probably counting as "gay propaganda".
For that matter, Ukraine won in 2016 and hosted the next year. Russia didn't even boycott, they sent fascist Tiny Tim as their entry, knowing she had entered Crimea from Russia which would force the Ukrainians to ban her from entering Ukraine to compete while looking like lunatics for doing so.
The ESC wasn't even going to ban the Russian broadcaster from competing in 2022. Initially they were like nah it's non political so it's chill (not to mention it had been 8 years), until about 6 countries including Sweden wrote to the EBU saying "if Russia's in, we're out", and then hours later the EBU decided you could have a contest without Russia but not without Sweden. Not because there's some rule in a song contest that says "you're not allowed to kill people or we won't let you sing".
There is a *WAY* these things are done.
I am perfectly fine with people looking at the way things are and going you know what, I'd rather give it a miss this year. Nobody is forcing you at gunpoint to watch a song contest, block the tag and see you in a month.
But brigading the eurovision tag with this moralizing bullshit about how nobody is allowed to enjoy a show that includes 42 entries that aren't Israel or else we're all genocidal (((zionists))), while turning off notes to your posts so nobody can respond to you, is toddler behaviour.
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Worth it- 141 & Laswell
pic credits: @gamergirlbonestaskforce141riot (left)and @ave661 (middle)
Based on a request: Wait, wait, first of all hope you're doing well and make sure to drink a glass of water if you haven't already. Cozy? Yeah? Okay, Can I request something (you can choose whether it's a HCor not,etc etc) on how TF141 would react to meeting a teen boy around 15-16, who's like a genius in engineering, mathematics, and physics? Like the boy could legitimately build a rocket if he had the time, help and materials. Maybe the meet him because he got in trouble with the government for unknowingly making a weapon? Maybe he made it for a class assignment and it was stolen without his knowledge? Whatever you think makes sense here. Leaving space for you to enter your own creative thoughts, just the general idea of it. The boy is based on a character of mine from a book I'm writing, his name his Michael, but ofc you can switch that up however you wish. Have fun with this one Ignore if it doesn't sound fun to ya <3 ---- M!Reader, genius!reader, platonic!relationship? ----
A/N: drank enough water, thanks for the reminder <3
Y/N, the name of the unknown internet user that had been chased by many governments and caught by the one and only Task Force 1-4-1.
You created something so dangerous that no one believed Laswell when she told her bosses the age you had when you started all this. You created the one thing most geniuses working for the government didn't know existed outside of the numbers and graphs they had done for it. At first, the FBI had named you un-sub A. Now, they can finally put a name to the unknown face.
How were you caught? Well, it wasn't easy, let's start there. When all this mess began, you were no older than fifteen. You are practically a ticking bomb to the government so when they heard that someone was asking the right questions to chemists around your city, they began to search for you. Laswell at the time was on a small break from work but the journals you had left in your parent's home when you ran away one rainy day.
In the journals, Laswell found all she needed to have a task force assigned to find you. She called it Operation Mikey, the name was just to fill in the void of the one thing she couldn't find, you.
Your parents weren't much help in giving your name, hence why Mikey became a temporary replacement. With them high off any drug and you on the run with the rest of your journals, Price was tasked with finding you and making sure you were secured in their care.
For three months, you ran away. Moving to different cities and continuing your research of the chemical weapon you fabricated in your bedroom, the same one Laswell had locked in a laboratory somewhere in the capital of the country.
In month four, you found an abandoned building in the middle of the desert. That's where your laboratory, if you can call it that, began.
For months after that, you collected data and it wasn't until nine months later that Soap found you trading chemicals with some scientist that you were caught.
Once you were brought in, they had realised so much about you. You were way younger than what their profile had thought of, much more intelligent than they'd think a person your age was and so skilled in engineering, mathematics, and physics.
"Why didn't we find his information sooner," Laswell questions her bosses. "Kid was never even registered by his parents." The man on the phone answers. "How the hell did he even get this kind of education then?" She asks again but you had that answer.
"My parents just bought me books and hired a weird guy from the street to teach me anything," you respond and Price chuckles. "Bullshit, kid. Now tell us, how the hell did you get all of these journals?" He points to the evidence bags. Your research of months now being read by other scientists.
"I am the creator of them, not let me go," you protest against Ghost's grip on you. "No chance," Price barks. "What's your real name?" Laswell asks you. "Y/N," you answer knowing it was either this or get thrown in some federal prison.
"And you created this weapon? do you have any idea how dangerous it is to create something like this? How many people it would take to create a mathematical concept and then make it into a physical form?"
"It's not that hard, lady," you answer with an attitude. Were people this dumb?
It took hours, lots of bribing and one request from Soap and Gaz to give you food for you to open up. What? you are a teenager who needs enough food for growth, of course, you'll talk once they give you food. Talking and having to dumb it down took hours though. After all, how can you explain to hardheaded soldiers about probability theory, and why it mattered so much to your project that it took ten trials and two journals worth of failed work to get?
Laswell was more than impressed, no seriously, she was like a proud mother listening to you explain every page and even give notes in only a way that a teenage boy would to idiotic adults like them. She thought it was so adorable how a boy your age would throw nerdy jokes into the explanations and how she watched you be the only one to laugh at them.
Ghost would often smile when you'd give a snarky comment to Price. Don't get him started on the chuckles he let out when you threw a few old man jokes at Price or made comments on Soap's weird hairstyle. The comments towards Gaz were funny but also adorable how you tried to find more reasons to get him annoyed.
Price thought of his son who was about your age when you'd get excited over your most recent discovery for the weapon you had created. It was nice to know that behind all that matter in your head, you were still a kid. It was even nicer when you'd make the jokes no one understood but secretly, Price's nerdy self understood some jokes.
Gaz saw his younger brother in you, which is why even when you made jokes at his expense, he would let them pass. The way you looked at him when having to explain things was nice in some way but it was way funnier when you called Soap the smart one of all four for being able to understand the way bombs work better than anyone and then have Ghost shake his head and tell you, "that man is just a muppet, don't believe what we tell you about his work."
Soap was fascinated by you for sure. Just like Price, he understood some of the jokes, even the cheesy puns you made about certain elements. He liked you, it was something fresh from the people he usually deals with.
The team, for the past few days, grew to adore the nerdy man you are. Yeah, you teased and even called them out on wrong facts but it was new. It's good to have someone so intelligent and be so honest with them this time. What was funny is that you know so much about many topics few understand but you don't know much about real life outside of the nerdy realm you live in. It's a nice feeling when passing by Laswells office you find a framed picture of the day Ghost and the other men of the team taught you about hunting and even how to play baseball, something you sucked at in the beginning but have gotten better over time.
It's like having four funny, serious, and cool dads and an amazing mum whilst being taken care of at the base the team called home.
A/N: I hope this was somewhat okay and good luck on your book!
Tags: @liyanahelena @mangowafflesss @froggy-anon @jinxxangel13 @enarien @sae1kie @queen-ilmaree @avidreadee123 @ikohniik @konigssultwithghost @luvecarson @a-goose-with-a-knife @foxface013 @marshiely @sleepyycatt
#cod mw2#cod#cod x reader#mwii#ghost cod#cod 141#mw2 141#task force 141#call of duty#141#kate laswell x reader#kate laswell#laswell cod#laswell mw2#call of duty laswell#laswell x reader#m reader#cod x male reader#cod x you#cod x y/n#ghost simon riley#john soap mactavish#kyle gaz garrick#captain john price#cod mw#modern warfare#john price
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