#i am probably just bitter from seeing my some of my fave characters tossed to the wayside so often because theyre women

[relaxxattack]

well, a lot of women on this website have tangible experiences of living as men previously. i think it's normal for them to project transfemininity onto male characters sometimes. like i get what you're saying , people absolutely slap "she's trans" on a male character without introspection, but i think its pretty normal & reasonable for trans girls to see transfeminine experience in characters written to be men. like, trans girls dont just spawn out of nowhere midway through our transition :P

you’re so right and thank you for saying this kindly.

[entamewitchlulu]

so i did a reading challenge this year and i wanna talk about what i read

transcription under the cut

i did Popsugar 2019 and wanna talk about what i read:  Book Reccs and Anti-Reccs 

1.) Becoming a Movie in 2019: Umbrella Academy (vol 1) by Gerard Way and Gabriel Ba

4/5. A fascinating take on superpowers, dysfunctional families, and the apocalypse. Can get pretty gory, confusing here and there and you have to pay close attention to panels for lore, but overall an entertaining romp.

2.) Makes you Feel Nostalgic: Circles in the Stream by Rachel Roberts

4/5. Middle grade novel about the magic of music, belief, and of course, friendship. Definitely written for kids, and has some unfortunately clumsy Native rep, but overall an absolute joy to dive into once again.

3.) Written by a Musician: Umbrella Academy (vol 2) by Gerard Way and Gabriel Ba

4/5. Ramps up the confusion to ridiculous degrees with some absolutely bonkers, unexplained arcs, but still fun to watch this dysfunctional family do its dysfunctional thing.

4.) You Think Should be Turned into a movie: All That Glitters by Rachel Roberts

4/5. Continuation of Circles in the Stream, but with more unicorns, more rainbows, and more fae, which makes it automatically even better than the first.

5.) With At Least 1 Mil. Ratings on Goodreads: 1984 by George Orwell   

1/5. I understand why it's important and all but wasn't prepared for some of the more graphic scenes and the overall hopelessness of the message.  Would not recommend or read again.

6.) W/ a Plant in the title or cover: The secret of Dreadwillow carse by Brian farrey

5/5. A fantasy world where everyone is always happy, save for one girl and the princess, who set out to solve the mystery of their kingdom. Poignant and great for kids and adults.

7.) Reread of a favorite: Cry of the Wolf by Rachel Roberts

4/5. Yet another installment in the Avalon: Web of Magic series, which clearly I am obsessed with.  Please just read them.

8.) About a Hobby: Welcome to the Writer's Life by Paulette Perhach

5/5. A welcome kick in the pants, chock full of great advice told without condescension, and full of hope and inspiration for writers both new and old.

9.) Meant to read in 2018: The Poet x by Elizabeth Acevedo  

4/5. Absolutely beautiful coming of age novel told in verse.  Do yourself a favor and listen to the audiobook version.

10.) w/ "pop," "sugar," or "challenge" in the title: Black Sugar by Miguel Bonnefoy

2/5. I think maybe I just don't understand this genre.  Or maybe the translation was weird. I was confused.  

11.) w/ An Item of Clothing or Accessory on the cover: Our dreams at Dusk by Yuhki Kamatani

4/5. It had a lot more slurs/homophobia than I was prepared for, but otherwise is a very touching, relatable collection of queer characters living in a heteronormative world.

12.) Inspired by Mythology or Folklore: Ravenous by MarcyKate Connolly

3/5. A girl goes on an impossible quest to save her brother from a child-eating witch. Really wanted to like it more because I loved the first one, Monstrous, but it dragged a little.

13.) Published Posthumously: The Islands of Chaldea by Diana Wynne Jones

3/5. I adore Diana Wynne Jones, but this one was missing some of the magic of her other books. Not sure if it was because it had to be finished by someone else, or if I just grew out of her stories.

14.) Set in Space: Binti by Nnedi Okorafor

4/5. Powerfully written story of a girl straddling tradition and innovation, who wields power through mathematical magic, surviving on a spaceship alone with a dangerous alien occupation after everyone else has been killed.

15.) By 2 Female Authors: Burn for Burn by Jenny Han and Siobhan Vivian

2/5. Ostensibly a story about a revenge pact in a small island town, but leaves far too many dangling threads to attempt alluring you to the sequel.

16.) W/ A Title containing "salty," "bitter," "Sweet," or "Spicy": The Price of Salt by Patricia Highsmith  

3/5. It's okay but I literally just never know what anyone means at any time. Are they being reticent on purpose or do i just not understand communication

17.) Set in scandinavia: Vinland Saga by Makoto Yukimura

2/5. Technically and historically accurate and well made, but the story itself is not my cup of tea.  Very gory.

18.) Takes Place in a Single Day: Long WAy Down by Jason Reynolds

4/5. A boy goes to avenge his murdered brother, but ghostly passengers join him on the elevator ride down. Stunning and powerful character-driven analysis.

19.) Debut Novel: Nimona by Noelle Stevenson

4/5. Charming and then surprisingly heart-breaking comic about Nimona, a shapeshifter who wants to become a villain's minion. Really love the villain/hero dynamic going on in the background, along with the dysfunctional found family.

20.) Published in 2019: The Book of Pride by Mason Funk  

4/5. A collection of interviews with the movers, shakers, and pioneers of the queer and LGBTQ+ community.  An absolutely essential work for community members and allies alike.

21.) Featuring an extinct/imaginary creature: Phoebe and her Unicorn by Dana Simpson

4/5. Incredibly charming, Calvin and Hobbes-esque collection of comics featuring the adventures of Phoebe and her unicorn best friend.

22.) Recced by a celebrity you admire: The Emerald Circus by Jane Yolen

2/5. Recced by my fave author Brandon Sanderson. An unfortunately disappointing anthology proving that any story can be made uninteresting by telling the wrong section of it.

23.) With "Love" in the Title: Book Love by Debbie Tung

4/5. One of those relatable webcomics, only this one I felt super hard almost the entire time.  Books are awesome and libraries rule.

24.) Featuring an amateur detective: Nancy Drew: Palace of Wisdom by Kelly Thompson

4/5. REALLY love this modern take on Nancy Drew, coming back home to her roots to solve a brand new mystery. Diverse cast and lovely artwork, though definitely more adult.

25.) About a family: Amulet by Kabu Kibuishi

4/5. Excellent, top tier graphic novel about a sister and brother who have to go rescue their mother with a mysterious magic stone. LOVE that the mom gets to be involved in the adventure for once.

26.) by an author from asia, Africa, or s. America: Girls' Last tour by Tsukumizu

4/5. Somehow both light-hearted and melancholy. Two girls travel about an empty, post-apocalyptic world, and muse about life and their next meal.

27.) w/ a Zodiac or astrology term in title: Drawing down the moon by margot adler

3/5. A good starting place for anyone interested in the Neo Pagan movement, but didn't really give me what I was personally looking for.

28.) you see someone reading in a tv show or movie: The Promised NEverland by Kaiu Shirai

4/5. I don't watch TV or movies where people read books so i think reading an adaptation of a TV series after watching the series counts. Anyway it was good but beware racist caricatures

29.) A retelling of a classic: Meg, Jo, Beth, and Amy by Rey Terciero

5/5. We can stop the Little Women reboots and retellings now, this is the only one we need. In fact, we can toss out the original too, this is the only one necessary.

30.) w/ a question in the title: So I'm a spider, so what? by Asahiro Kakashi

4/5. Cute art despite the subject matter, and a surprisingly enthralling take on the isekai genre. Love the doubling down on the video game skills.

31.) Set in a college or university campus: Moonstruck (vol 2) by Grace Ellis

2/5. An incredibly cute, beautiful, and fascinating world of modern magic and creatures, but unfortunately falls apart at the plot and pacing.

32.) About someone with a superpower: Moonstruck (vol 1) by Grace Ellis

4/5. Though nearly as messy plot-wise as its sequel, the first volume is overwhelmingly charming in a way that overpowers the more confusing plot elements.

33.) told from multiple povs: The Long way to a Small, Angry Planet by becky Chambers

4/5. Told almost in a serial format, like watching a miniseries, a group of found-family spaceship crew members make the long journey to their biggest job ever.

34.) Includes a wedding: We Set the dark on fire by Tehlor kay mejia

4/5. Timely and poignant, a girl tumbles into both love and resistance after becoming one of two wives to one of the most powerful men in the country.

35.) by an author w/ alliterative name: The only harmless great Thing by brooke bolander

3/5. Much deeper than I can currently comprehend.  Beautifully written, but difficult to parse.

36.) A ghost story: Her body and other parties by Carmen Maria Machado

4/5.  It counts because one of the stories in it has ghosts. A sometimes difficult collection of surrealist, feminist, queer short stories.

37.) W/ a 2 word title: Good omens by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman

4/5. Charming, touching, and comical, probably the best take on the apocalypse to date. Also excellent ruminations on religion and purpose.

38.) based on a true story: The faithful Spy by John Hendrix

4/5. Brilliantly crafted graphic biography of Dietrich Bonhoeffer, and his assistance in fighting back against Nazi Germany.

39.) Revolving around a puzzle or game: the Crossover by Kwame alexander

4/5. The verse didn't always hit right with me, but the story is a sweet, melancholy one about family, loss, and moving on.

40.) previous popsugar prompt (animal in title): The last unicorn by peter s. Beagle

5/5. Absolutely one of my all-time favorite books, it manages to perfectly combine anachronism and comedy with lyricism, melancholy, and ethereal beauty.

41.) Cli-fi: Tokyo Mew Mew by Mia ikumi and Reiko Yoshida

4/5. Shut up it counts

42.) Choose-your-own-adventure: My Lady's choosing by Kitty curran

3/5. Cute in concept, a bit underwhelming in execution. Honestly, just play an otome.

43.) "Own Voices": Home by Nnedi Okorafor

3/5. The storytelling style was definitely not my style; while the first book was slow, too, it felt more purposeful. I found my attention wandering during this installment.

44.) During the season it's set in: Pumpkinheads by rainbow rowell

3/5. Cute art, but precious little substance.  The concept simply wasn't for me in the first place.

45.) LITRPG: My next life as a villainess: All routes lead to doom! by Hidaka nami

5/5. An absolute insta-fave! Charming art, endearing characters, an incredible premise, and so much sweet wholesome fluff it'll give you cavities.

46.) No chapters: The field guide to dumb birds of north america by matt kracht

3/5. It started out super strong, but the joke started to wear thin at a little past the halfway point.

47.) 2 books with the same title: Unfollow by Megan Phelps-Roger

4/5. A brave and enduring personal story of growing up in and eventually leaving the Westboro Baptist Church. Really called to me to act with grace and kindness even more in the future.

48.) 2 books with the same title: unfollow by rob williams and michael dowling

1/5. How many times do you think we can make Battle Royale again before someone notices

49.) That has inspired a common phrase or idiom: THe Outsiders by S.E. Hinton

4/5. Definitely good and deserves it's praise as something that pretty much revolutionized and created an entire demographic of literature.

50.) Set in an abbey, cloister, Monastery, convent, or vicarage: Murder at the vicarage by agatha christie

3/5. I just cannot. physically keep up with all of these characters or find the energy to read between the lines.

ok that's all i got, what did y'all read and like this year?  (oh god it’s gonna be 2020)

[sophygurl]

I love the question memes and my fave kind is the kind @pixiedane​ just tagged me in (thank you!). [Also sidenote: ILU @theawkwardterrier​ for always tagging me in the tagging memes but JSYK I won’t be doing the latest one because I’m just not really a picture person so I don’t really have a lot of pictures saved and the idea of trying to use whatever weird random stuff I might have saved to describe myself would just not work. But you’re the best and I’ll catch ya on the next one!]

The rules:

Post the rules

Answer the questions given to you by the tagger

Write 11 questions of your own

And tag 11 people

1. What’s the meaning of your name? Does it suit you?

Rosemary doesn’t seem to have a specific meaning, although of course it’s an herb, and Rosemary is for remembrance, which is hilarious given my memory problems. Mary means bitter, so some name meaning sites say the meaning of my name is “bitter rose” which I guess is a nice combo of sweet and sad, which I would not really classify myself as. So, no, the various meanings of my name do not suit me.

The name itself? Does. I love my name, and while most people can’t be bothered with a 3 syllable name in casual conversation, my preference is to be called Rosemary and not Rose. Rose does not feel like me.

2. What’s a movie you never get tired of?

A lot of movies fit under this category, but the movie I have probably seen the most amount of times and can still watch either in full or in chunks and still enjoy every single second of no matter what is Dirty Dancing. 

3. Your favourite movie soundtrack?

Are we talking soundtrack as in collection of songs used in the movie and put into an album, or as in score for the movie, or?

Because nothing but nothing beats the Star Wars scores for me. Well, original and prequels and TFA anyway - the last two have diverged quite a bit which has felt odd to me but whatever. [Second place would be the scores for the 70/s80s Superman movies - also John Williams of course]

If collection of songs - then we’re back to Dirty Dancing.

Although if we’re considering soundtracks of musicals, then I’m gonna be reduced to flailing and just naming half a dozen or so, so we’ll just pretend that’s not part of the question. 

4. How would you describe your personal style?

Accidental? I pretty much just buy things that I find interesting, and then put things together that seem interesting to me, and then end up with some pretty ... interesting outfits. One of my roommates actually described my look yesterday as “crazy” if that tells you anything.

Think colors that don’t quite match, conflicting patterns, stripey socks, chunky jewelry, and then at times like now at the end of winter when I haven’t shaved my head in awhile - short floppy hair that is sticking up in all directions that I swear I tried to tame but it just doesn’t take. 

5. Name a fictional crush.

Spike from Buffy. Also Buffy from Buffy. And put them together? Double crush. 

6. What’s your motto?

I don’t really have a motto, per se, but I do have a mantra, which is: love, peace, joy, hope. Those are the qualities I try to embody, embrace, spread, whatever. All four are of equal importance to me. 

7. Are you a gamer?

If by gamer, you mean obsessively playing the Sims, then yes. But most people who consider themselves gamers would probably say no.

8. Would you rather spend time on a secluded beach or at a fancy cocktail party?

How about a fancy cocktail party on a secluded beach? Too much sand in the drinks, never mind.

Ah, these are both problematic for me. I don’t do so well with being completely alone, especially without some kind of distraction or diversion. I guess if I had a book with me on the beach, I’d be okay for a little while, but I’d also get uncomfortable super fast if there wasn’t, like, a comfy sofa or something to recline on. 

And I also don’t do well with fancy, or come to think of it with cocktails since I can’t drink any more with the meds I have to take. 

But, if I had to choose, I’d probably pick the party. I’d be dressed inappropriately (probably something with loud colors and polka dots?), and sitting in the corner mostly people watching, and I’d get overwhelmed and head home early, but still. 

9. Recommend a television series.

oohhhoooomygods just ONE?

I’ve rec’d this one many times, but since it just came back for season two last night (I haven’t watched the ep yet - it’s next on my list), I’m gonna recommend Imposters to you all again.

Imposters is a lil show with a small but dedicated fandom on Bravo. 

It stars Inbar Lavi (Prison Break, The Last Ship) as a con woman and Rob Heaps (Home Fires, And Then There Were None), Parker Young (Arrow, Suburgatory), and  Marianne Rendón (Mapplethorpe) as three of the people who she has swindled. Additionally, Brian Benben (Private Practice, Dream On), Stephen Bishop (Being Mary Jane), Chastity Dotson (Pitch, Veronica Mars), and Denise Dowd (Secrets and Lies, Beverly Hills 90210) star. 

The story of season one is that these three scorned exes find one another and begin a quest to find the woman they all alternately view as their loving spouse and the cruel con who stole everything from them. Along the way, they learn some cons of their own, gain back some of their confidence, and of course discover the power of friendship. 

There are many twists and turns along the way which I won’t spoil for anyone who wants to watch season 1 for themselves, but it involves cons within cons within cons and unlikely teammates. 

Also - Uma Thurman as a hitwoman.

As the finale of season one had our three scorned exes riding off together into the sunset, I am very excited to see where season two leads us. Seriously, you have to watch this show. 

[But if I may very quickly rec some of my other underwatched faves: 12 Monkeys, Colony, Counterpart, Ghosted, Insecure, Kevin (Probably) Saves the World, Madam Secretary, People of Earth, Scream, Speechless, Timeless, UnREAL,You’re the Worst - ask me about my underwatched faves plz.]

10. Do you have any phobias?

Boy howdy, do I! I have OCD, which often comes with phobias as part of the anxiety which leads to some of the obsessive compulsions. [FELLOW PHOBES MIGHT WANNA SKIP THIS PART - PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELVES.]

I have a slight germ phobia which I mostly don’t go deep into because I don’t have the energy to do what I’d need to do to feel better about it so I just make myself not-think about it really hard, but the underlying anxiety is Still There. 

This is especially true of what I call “poop germs” - which is anything that has ever been inside of a bathroom ever. This makes, you know, having to use bathrooms very upsetting and problematic for me, so again, I deploy my aggressive pretending it’s not there as much as I can, but poop germs can cause me to break down into tears on a bad day. Fun times!

I’m also an emetophobe, which means I’m terrified of throwing up - a fun little phobia to have when you have constant low-grade nausea which occasionally flares up to higher-grade, lemme tell ya.

Another biggie is infestation of any kind - so any kind of insect or small animal that comes into my home. Like, I am absolutely fine seeing these critters outside where they belong - I might even oooh and aaah. But the second I see one INSIDE - I’m screaming bloody murder and waking up the entire apartment complex. 

I’ve worked real hard at being less scared of the harmless single bugs that enter a home, especially the kind that EAT other bugs - so for example I am perfectly fine with spiders (being obsessed with Charlotte’s Web as a kid helps), and even centipedes after the initial screaming over how creepy they look is done. And I’ve gotten where I look insects up on websites that identify bugs and talk about them in positive/scientific ways and have stopped panicking about certain bugs and their larvae now as I can tell which ones are and aren’t actually harmful or prone to infestation. BUT. I’m still prolly gonna scream when I initially see them because eaauughhss. 

Those are the main ones, but the fun thing about OCD is that new ones develop all the time if you don’t stay vigilant about letting those obsessive thoughts do their thang, so I try real hard to ignore those news segments and articles about bringing black lights into hotel rooms and about all of the horrible ways people are committing violent crimes these days and other terrifying and/or gross things that might creep their ways into my fear center. 

11. What’s your rarest rarepair?

Oh, good question. I don’t tend to have rarepairs because the way I fandom is deep immersion into canon and not necessarily delving into fanon/fanfic. So even my non-canon ships tend to be ones that the canon itself at least played with a little bit or that the fandom-at-large has talked about enough that I start to see it. lol

I’m having trouble even thinking about a ship I have that could be classified as rare? It would probably be something involving Spike because I ship that fool with pretty much everyone he’s ever shared screentime with because he is just so yummy, and because Marsters was just really good about getting his character to bring interesting things out of whatever characters he was interacting with, and because he’s clearly so omnisexual that he just oozes chemistry with everyone he meets, but like. I’m also definitely not the only one who sees all that about him and also is shipping him left right and center. So. I’ll just toss out Spike/Harmony because I’ve never heard of anyone else who actually liked them together ha!

Phew! That was fun. I hope all of you all who I end up tagging have as much fun with my questions (and if not, feel free to use some of pixie’s).

My questions:

What is your #mood rn?

Tell me the sweetest childhood memory you can think of.

Favorite mythological/fantastical animal/creature.

What is your favorite mode of storytelling - for example, books, movies, TV shows, graphic novels, video games, etc. - and why do you think that’s your fave form?

Star Trek, Star Wars, or Starlord? (this is not a serious question and you may feel free to expound upon all three if you wish)

Favorite type of geographical location to visit, and is it different from where you prefer to live?

Name a character that you love, but who you would probably hate in real life.

Reboots, renewals, and revivals. Are they ruining your childhood or do you love ‘em?

Tell me about your favorite cookie (or other sweet if you don’t care for cookies).

If there is one thing people could just atomatically know about you upon meeting you that would make socializing with you better or easier, what would it be?

A lot of stories based on comics posit the theory that eventually humanity will evolve into at least some humans developing super powers. Suppose this started happening today - what would the results be, do you think?

Tagging:

(and of course, please consider yourself tagged if you wanna do this - I’d tag all of you if I could but I try and just pick folks I think enjoy doing these. if I’m ever wrong - please feel free and ignore the tag. additionally - please remember to tag ME so I can see your responses! also, feel free to re-tag me in this one since the questions differ and you all know how much I love to talk about myself.)

@absolutelyiris, @dianebluegreen, @c-l-ford, @theawkwardterrier, @the-invisible-queer, @brokenyellowcrayons, @knitmeapony, @fatherjerusalem, @swordsandparasols, @dmphelps, @nightlocktime

[gyeommine]

MONSTA X as Best Friends

this is one of my lil’ au’s that i whipped up whilst i was away with no internet. i need to write more mx stuff(: i tried anyway - i hope y’all like it.

(gif credits to the original owners)

Shownu:

(boiii look at u w that bandana !)

biggest dad friend you'll ever have in your life

makes sure you're fed

gives you lifts whenever you need one

also makes sure you never have to walk on your own.-will fight a mean s/o who he may have had a bitter disliking to anyway bc it's you

basically is super protective of u

he is always v sleepy tho, esp if you're just chilling at your place.but you forgive him bc he's an overworked dad of 6

he is super down to earth and most chill human being in your lifehe is also super dependable, and is always there when you need him

he also gives the best hugs – they're rare but bOI are they worth it

is always awkward about you seeing him at shows or watching shows he's on bc he doesn't feel like he's a big idol, he's just your best friend

but you force him to tell you when he's doing anything so you can shout the loudest

most easily mistaken for your boyfriend

is a lil' bit dense at times, and is least likely to laugh @ your jokes

doesn't get sarcasm either

he's also clumsy

but apologetic, extremely apologetic

he can be a lil' blunt and straight forward at times but he's never as bad as the 'shownubot' he is v sensitive to your emotions, and is super caring

you also see the cute side of shownu

him beaming at small animals, when he talks about his fave food or his parents

again, far from the showminator everyone sees on variety shows

buuuuuuut he's v difficult to read, thanks to that beautiful but often blank face he has 

you also get really flustered when he juST strips??? boicouldunotwearepalswthpls 

you look at him awkwardly but he'll either not get it or be like “what? We are friends?”

and you remember your best friend is the most endearingly dad-like human in the world and nobody can change that

Wonho:

(a d o r a b l e)

I am convinced he will just giggle 24/7

ray of sunshine hoseok will just make you so energised and happy when he's in the same room as you

which makes you fiercely protective of him

you get to see his cute, bubbly side all of the time and it's literally a goddamn blessing

you guys just eat together

you'll deliberately plan on going to different restaurants or food places just so you can sample everything

but his eyes will always light up when you say “Ramen?”

like dad!sonhyunwoo, he is fairly shy about the stuff he does and is v bashful when you compliment his idol stuff

he'll shrug it off like its nothing and you'll be like “??? ur one of the most talented people ever you can literally fite me”

wonho and you could literally make anything fun, so hanging out w each other is never ever dull like, you'll create random dumb shit to do that only kids would think of and it would be great

but he's a really sensitive and sweet friend

he just gets you, and will immediately be on the same page as you w whatever you are feeling

he is so supportive and cares about you to the moon and back

it's bloody adorable literally treasure this man 

like he will literally stay up to ridiculous hours in the morning to listen to you rant or console you 

(my heart is melting whilst writing this send help)

but as we found out in the monsta x ray finale, boy needs that support since he spends all of his energy worrying about his pals and like how he gets you, you completely understand him it's weird, neither of you understand how you're in so in tune w one another 

but it's great honestly a++ friendship

Minhyuk:

(y’all don’t even understand how much of a look the red hair was wOW)

most of the time he just ??? you can't explain him ???

he is one of the loudest, and goofiest people you know

when you guys go out together, ppl are stunned bc he's super handsome

but you know that he's not this super cool, standoffish model-type – he's an idiot

he sends you pictures of cute animals all the time

or he tags you in them on every social media possible

and you guys watch a lot of disney

w a perfect aladdin duet where minhyuk is jasmin (ofc)

lil' dumb things like that brighten your day

he just has a knack for cheering you up

and he just radiates kindness – he's just a sweetheart

but when you guys are together, the sheer amount of noise you guys make is incredible

you guys are literally tied at the hip

you do everything together, a lot of spontaneous stuff too

lots of random sleepovers where you stay up way too late

you hang out so much, that the rest of the mx are just used to having you around

like an 8th member tbh

it gets to a point where you guys miss each other like crazy when his schedule is packed

and the guys tease that you might as well go out

but it's fine, you've both talked and thought about it (midnight chats is all I can say)

but you both know that you're more like siblings

and that's chill

like wonho, he just gets you

he knows when your sad, and exactly what to do

he'll have some takeout on speed dial and a shoulder to cry on

he's actually one of the most attentive people

and sometimes it makes you sad when people just assume he's a shallow idol

but you're just happy to have him in your life.

Kihyun:

(his lil’ smile i swEAr)

he's so sassy w you

he's literally like a middle aged mum

yes, so he's often ruthless but he gives the best advice

someone treating you like shit? cut them out

it makes him incredibly reliable

he's always got your back and is ready to stand up for you 

you guys wingman for each other too 

you pretend to be in a relationship to fend off unwanted ppl in clubs 

people think he's adorable but you know he's cut throat – and you love it

 yet, there are instances where you catch him cooing at a baby or a dog

despite appearances, he would literally drop everything for you 

he's loyal 

if something has happened to you, he's right there if you're crying and listening intently

he genuinely wants to give you the best advice possible 

he does love you, he just has v sarcastic ways of showing it

“i mean, if you were the last person on earth sure” 

and you roll your eyes and just continue 

probably will ask you weird questions at 3am 

doesn't get that you not responding means stop so he keeps going

he has a ripe selection of mugshots of you and will utilize them 

he's probably protective in a lowkey way, like he tries not to show it

he'll walk you home w the excuse “nothing else to do”

“for a sec, I almost thought u were showing affection!” and he'll scoff 

you nod in mock acknowledgement but ofc you think it's really sweet beneath the unending sass you will tease him with predebut mx and it's rich 

you always tell him you bias shownu just to irritate him

“he's not even that cute” he'll mutter bitterly

doesn't mean you won't have a funny picture of kihyun as your lock screen for months

Hyungwon:

(look at this dumb dork w his dumb ass smiley cute face what a dumb human)

one of your memeist friends

sends u dumb shit even if he's sat right next to you

also your laziest friend

if you guys arrange a time to meet, you always mentally add an extra 15 minutes

bc he's always late

he's also extremely sarcastic

even if it's just through an eye roll, he's a piece of shit

he's also a lil' awkward

you first met him through the rest of the guys, and he barely spoke

you just spotted a literal model on his phone in the corner

but as you were round there more, he let himself go

and came to know the lanky piece of shit u now tolerate

very much a love-hate friendship

from afar, it looks like you guys have no boundaries and you will say anything 

but both of you just toss it aside w “character building” and you laugh sometimes he's sweet and it surprises you (like w the kids ep in monsta x-ray omg) 

like he'll buy some food for a homeless man, or pull a funny face at a kid on the bus 

and you tease him about it again, just character building;)

he's silently supportive

he's not great at the words and talking bit, but he's happy to just sit and listen

or he will instantly know what to do, and just order some food before you say anything

so you know ppl are wrong when they say he's just a lazy and standoffish idol

but he's extremely good looking and you had to learn to avoid stares when you guys go out together

he probably has a gift he bought you abroad from 2 years ago

says he'll give it to you, but still forgets

you really hope it's not candy that went off months ago

as much as you love your best friend, you don't want mouldy sweets

Jooheon:

(cutest cutie that ever cutied)

funniest

whether he's making you laugh or you're laughing at him - he's funny

you guys were definitely childhood friends

and everyone loves him

your close family always talks about him, asks about him

he's like a brother you never had (as cheesy as that is)

most friends drift apart, especially w his idol career

but - you guys are the definition of inseparable

you met bc someone was picking on you at nursery and baby jooheon intervened

and since then, you guys have never been a part

he is v protective

even little things like accompanying you home when it's late

any partner he has to meet just to make sure they're good enough for you

you sometimes have to tell him you're okay on your own

and he'll apologise, that he's just looking out for you

he doesn't mind you ringing him at early hours when something's on your mind

and the same with you

when you guys hang out, it's simple

going out for a drive and just watching the sun go down

you'll blast your favourite music and enjoy each other's company

cheesycheesycheesy

it's like something out of a movie

he'll sometimes even treat you – like take you out to dinner or something

to say thanks for being such a good friend all this time

you tell him he's cheesy, that it's not necessary

but he just blushes a little and says it's no big deal

he's the boy you'll mum will nudge and say “oh isn't he lovely”

you'll roll your eyes and say“he's just my best friend”

but you've thought about it, trust me he's definitely thought about it

who knows, all I can say is that it could happen

I.M

( i fell in love w changkyun while writing this i am such a sap )

you guys are like the chillest pair of best friends known

that's probably bc lil' changkyun is definitely more the introvert

he would much rather retreat to his studio to unwind than go out

which you're all for

you guys sit for hours in his mini studio

you listen to his stuff, and you just beam as he talks about his passion

it just fills you w joy when your best friend is so talented and you get to hear it

you do have to bring him out of his shell a little

bc this dorky, funny side comes out that has you cackling

you guys get food together mainly

and he loves it when you cook

you also feel it your duty to take care of this smol

feed him, look after him bc he's still your lil' maknae although nobody thinks he is

but it's not patronising, he's completely chill w it

the guys joke that  he had/has a major crush on you

sometimes you question it, but he's like a younger brother to you

so you just throw something at minhyuk and jooheon to end the teasing

although changkyun always gets a tad shy when they mention it ??

there's never any arguments bc you guys are so alike

you have the same music taste, like the same foods, have the same opinions, watch the same tv shows and movies

it's really weird, but neither of you are complaining

makes life 10x easier !

he always feels super bad that he can't see you more

(which is v fucking cute fite me)

so he tries to plan these elaborate well thought out days for when he gets back

but he gets really bumbly and shy about it

bc it feels like a date but it isn't but he kinda hopes it is

so you guys always opt for a night long catch up w pizza

and you don't mind bc you're happy to see your fave human

i can assure you, so is he;)

hoped you guys enjooooyed! idk, this kind of helped me suss out their characters in my head a bit more - which is nice !! ty for reading <3

[seenashwrite]

Super Special Shout-Out: You Gave Nash The Vapors Edition.

[Actual footage of me back at NashHole, Inc. Headquarters. My hair is that good/possibly better. Rack is comparable. I do not own that dress. Nor would I ever own that hideous candelabra or curtain panel. Fainting couch not pictured.]

I see posts with fair frequency talking about how reader feedback is so critical for writers, and sweet lil’ babby jeebus, is that the gospel truth. Would we keep writing anyhow, despite not getting any? Yeah, probably, but man is feedback [hype or critique] a major lube-oil-filter-kick-the-tires-top-off-the-tank sort of jam. #Feedback Is Fuel, as I am wont to profess.

@michellethetvaddict​ lit up Dear Nash like nobody’s business this weekend, tearing through the ol’ Master List [obligatory pimp, also in Mobile form] like it was all-hands-on-deck, my-ass-is-on-fire, let’s-get-ramblin’-time. 

I wanted to pass along the following [after the jump] to not only publicly acknowledge Michelle’s kindness - and, come on, the god-only-knows amount time it took to read and write these up - but also as a tutorial of sorts for any of you readers out there who find yourselves feeling stumped at the end of a story that you adored, because you don’t know how to convey your love of it beyond perhaps a heart/reblog. 

Michelle did give overall thoughts, and then chose to do something which may be ideal for those of you who feel lost when it comes to putting your appreciation into words. [Spoiler: You don’t have to - use the author’s words instead & quote your favorite lines. We love that sh*t.]

Ooh! And likely goes without saying, but if you think reading lines from stories count for spoilers/would ruin it for you, I’d turn back now, use the links above first, then maybe come back & see if you agree with Michelle. ;) 

A DELICATE DESICCATION

Thank you for saying that part about intelligent readers, that’s absolute intent on my part & I am pleased to hear it comes across. I’d rather err on the side of slightly vague [which would, I’d hope, prompt a critique of such so that I might address it if need be] than spoon-feed. Two of my fave lines, as well. 

THE MIDWIFE

RE: that intro - not my typical route, setting a scene prior to jumping into action of some sort, so I’m glad it hooked you vs. zoning you out. RE: that shtick of Jack’s obits - THANK YOU, that was a funny little light bulb that came to me as a way to get y’all in sync with his dry/blithe/etc. personality in contrast to Burt’s bubbles. I shall now, in an admittedly passive-aggressive manner, use your lovely feedback to say “And you weren’t the only one! Within a month’s time, another fic writer employed that same gimmick in their fic! And it was identical! Main O.C. intro --> Boredom --> internal processing of imagined funny obituary!”  Ahem. Nobody’s bitter, what, I don’t know what y’all are talking about.

[pro-tip, though: Hey, lifters? don’t leave paper trails showing you’re aware of the story you’re lifting from, kthanxbye]

GASLIGHT

You smart cookie. Love that you caught all those. I like dropping in outside refs to supernatural-ish pop culture things when I can, so long as it doesn’t play like I’m cramming ‘em in just to do it. [And, re: corn - right? Like those dudes hadn’t ever tried to wrangle a playground out of anyone else before, uh-huh, sure.]

“IT”

Very pleased you dig my dialogue style, and thank you for acknowledging that beer line, I liked that line, too! Poor, lonely beer.....  

THE WORST YOU’D EVER SEEN

I tell ya, I almost 86′d the bitch-face line, I feel like I see it ref’d too much, so that may very well be its only appearance in Nash Land Lit, but thought it appropriate for the moment, to come out of Dean’s mouth. Pleased the pacing suits you as well, I have great distaste for left-field bomb-drops at the conclusion of stories [book/TV/movie/wherever] so I try my best to leave good breadcrumbs.

THE [ONCE] DEMON BARBER FROM ROBINTREE

Hey, y’know, it was a random request I got out of the blue, fought the potential shmoop best way I know how, making with the Dean-propelled snark. ;)  

BUILD ME UP, BUTTERCUP

Cannot believe you read this, hahahaha.... it may very well be on permanent hiatus, though I *did* start reading the book again & do legit have it fleshed out, but I don’t crank out AUs very well, I’ve discovered. But enough peeps like this that I don’t want to toss it on the discard pile quite yet. Glad you got a kick out of what’s there so far.

The Nope Trilogy Master Post

I also have no idea how my brain works. I know this was prompted by my constant eye-rolling at author-inserts couched as “reader inserts” and “imagines”, with the frosting of them ALWAYS being a hunter, ALWAYS one of the guys head-over-heels for them, etc. You get my drift. Pure trope-gutting. 

SNIPED

Lord, this story. It’s eventually getting the PG-13 treatment so I can draw it out of the shadows, because I do like that character & the plot, even though I was “forced” into the smut arena & some of the dialogue/behavior that I find patently unbelievable for Sam/Dean to say/display. And yup - exact right reaction/my intended vibe on the “ugh” part. 

EASY AS PIE

I am so tickled anytime I hear back that somebody got a kick out of this, truly. Like with the above mentions of outside SPN refs, there’s a list I have for cases to mention/have the guys [and others] investigate for my big dog story, but not all of them will fit well & so are better served as a side-car to the main martini. Lessee.... so, “Pushing Daisies”... “Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure”/Large Marge... also have “Beetlejuice” on deck [just the outline, not coming anytime soon!]... several other goodies that I’ve yet to see floating about. ;) 

Don’t know what else to say, other than you rocked my face off & here’s your gold crown for Reader Of The Month... Year... Century... Millennia... til someone challenges you for it, “Game of Thrones”, full-on-dragon, homemade-hellhounds-style, ‘cause you earned it.

[nickireadstfc]

The Raven King, Chapter 1 – The Show Must Go On (And By Show We Mean Exy)

In which practices stop for no one, Wymack rules at pep talks, family sentiments are expressed to Neil via a seating order, and Andrew reaches new levels of Fucking Weird And Disturbing With A Side Of Asshole.

Sounds good? Then it’s time for Nicki to read The Raven King.

Before we begin, let’s take a look back at the foolish predictions I made a while ago about the rest of the first book (which my dumb ass forgot to include in last week’s summary):

Neil will be able to do all of the Raven drills eventually didn’t happen yet, we remain hopeful

Nicky and Neil will talk about the Club Situation yup! (kind of)

Alternatively, and even better: Andrew and Neil will talk about the Club Situation nooo sadly not

MORE KANDREIL TIMES hopefully if you count Neil defending Kevin on national television and Andrew almost punching Riko afterwards then yAAA

Either Riko or Coach Moriyama will appear HO BOIII

We will learn something about Renee’s backstory no snowflake backstory for us yet :(

Coach Wymack will be the best person alive JINX I know that’s gonna happen #dicksoutforwymack “Breaking news: I don’t care” my man

Neil will say more beautiful and savage things, dropping shade left and right HO B O I I I I

Seth will fuck off to somewhere (a girl can dream okay) oh my sweet summer child you were nOT PREPARED

I am starting to get why y’all keep telling me I am not prepared for anything that’s to come. I’M NOT.

And with that said, welcome to The Raven King! Even the cover tells us that playtime is over: It’s not the happy orange we had previously, it’s black and red and no doubt filled with violence, abuse, mean boys, infighting, and heaps of shade.

Let’s fucking go.

           It looked like Halloween outside, only two months too early. Last week Palmetto State was covered in orange and white streamers to celebrate the start of the school year. Over the weekend someone had replaced all of the white ribbons with black ones. It gave the impression that the campus was in mourning. Neil Josten thought it a cheap tribute, but that might have been his cynicism talking.

Shut the fuck up, Neil, that’s a cool as shit. My school would have probably put up one or two black ribbons on the flags next to the school gate and that would have been it. Your college decorated the entire campus. That’s a great tribute, shut up.

The book starts off with Neil and the Monster Squad on their way to the first practice after Seth’s death – gracefully scheduled for Wednesday afternoon, which is when Andrew will be in therapy.

Why not sooner, you ask?

           Generally, Andrew’s wild mood wasn’t a problem, but Andrew’s cheer didn’t make him at all friendly. An excitable Andrew confronted with the death of his least-favourite teammate was a recipe for disaster. The team should have come together Sunday morning to grieve their loss, but Andrew and Matt got into an ugly brawl instead.

Sigh. ANDREW, WHY.

I have a slight feeling Andrew’s drug-induced moods are going to play an important role this book. Just a hunch.

           Seth died Saturday night and was cremated Monday afternoon. From what Neil heard, Seth’s mother signed off on everything, but didn’t even show up at the crematorium to collect her son’s ashes.

What the fuck. What the fuck kind of mother is that. What sort of human being cares so little for their own children they won’t even show up to their funeral what the fuck.

This is the saddest shit I’ve read all day. Sure, they’re all from ~broken homes~ and whatever, but still. Some of you were also pointing out that it’s been said before that he was on antidepressants. This and how little fucks his family appears to give about him makes me feel even more sorry for him.

Ughhh. Why do I get them character feels only after his death. This sucks major ass.

           The Foxes were already the smallest team in NCAA Class I Exy. Now they were the smallest a team could be and still qualify to play. They’d lost their only fifth-year senior, and their remaining offense team consisted of an injured national champion and an amateur.

Meaning if Neil or Kevin want to take a time-out they just… can’t?

Boy, I’m sure there I absolutely nothing that can go wrong with that.

           Kevin’s presence on the team mean the Foxes needed full-time security, but the numbers had doubled over the summer when Kevin’s former team transferred to the southeastern district. Neil was getting used to seeing campus police everywhere he went, but he would always hate the sight of them.

I have a question here, which I’ve thought about before as well: What the hell is campus police? Because Germany doesn’t have that.

Is it just security guards? It’s not actual police, is it? I’m sure those guys will have more important things to do than to play standby watchdogs at a college.

           The door code was supposed to change every couple months, but with the Ravens in their district Wymack now changed it every week. This week it was the last four digits of Abby’s phone number. Neil was starting to think his teammates were right about Wymack and Abby’s secret relationship.

Honestly, how have I not seen fanart for those two yet. They’re cute as shit. Everyone, chill it on the Andreil and give me the fluffy Wymabby (Abbymack?) cuddles my heart desperately wants.

Once in the stadium, Neil finds Kevin and Aaron playing interior designers.

           “What are you doing?”

           “Finding a new way to make us fit,” Andrew said, “unless you want to stare an empty chair in the face all season. (…) Four people barely fit on a coach. Five is out of the question.”

           “Five?”

           Kevin looked at him like he was stupid. Neil was painfully familiar with that look by now, but even after four months with Kevin he still didn’t appreciate it.

           “You do know your place, don’t you?”

Hhhhhhhasdfghjkl.

Another installment in our popular series Neil Doesn’t Realize People Actually Care About Him, episode 3 of a billion.

           Neil hesitated a second too long, and Aaron finally spelled it out for him. “You’re on the couch with Kevin and Andrew. Sit down.”

It’s a Kandreil Couch! Yay!

The Kandreil Kouch™, for alliteration’s sake.

           “I don’t like being boxed in,” Neil said, “and I don’t want to sit next to your brother.”

           “Nicky put up with it for a year,” Aaron said. “You can deal with it.”

           “You’re his family,” Neil said, not like it meant a thing to them.

They’re your family as well now, ya dingus.

Neil has something to say about ~families~, though.

           Wymack only recruited athletes from broken homes. At the Foxhole Court, “family” was a fantasy invented to make books and Hollywood movies more interesting.

Was someone looking for the Extra™ in this book? Fucking found it.

Also, was someone looking for Wymack? Because I was. Where is my fave.

           From what Neil could hear, someone was harassing Wymack about the team’s tiny line-up. Wymack’s obvious irritation made his reassurances less than convincing, but Neil knew he believed every word he was saying. Wymack didn’t care if he had nine Foxes or twenty-five. He’d stand behind them until the bitter, bloody end.

THERE HE IS. <333333

Just in case anyone needed a reminder of why Wymack is, in fact, the best person in this entire series.

           He strode into the lounge a couple seconds later and followed Dan’s finger to Neil. He looked from Neil to Kevin to Aaron, then around the room at the new layout, then back at Neil.

           “Last I checked Andrew didn’t like you,” Wymack said.

           “He still doesn’t,” Neil said, but he didn’t bother to explain.

I’m just imagining Wymack looking around faster and faster like a comic character and I’m enjoying it tremendously.

Also, “he still doesn’t”, sure, honey…

It’s time for arguably the best speech in this chapter: A Grade A Certified Wymack Pep Talk.

           Wymack folded his arms across his chest and studied each of his Foxes in turn.

           “Abby wrote me a speech to give you this afternoon. It sounded nice, had lots of stuff about courage and loss and coming together in everyone’s time of need. I tore it up and tossed it in the trash can beside my desk.”

Why do I find this so funny. I mean, harsh, dude, she put effort into that and it was actually so sweet of her, but also like. That is such a Wymack move and I love it.

           Wymack built the Foxes from the ground up and handpicked Seth for his first starting line. Between the players’ personal problems, a faulty original contract that let players walk out, and the option to graduate in four years instead of five, Seth was the only one who’d made it to a fifth year on the team. Seth had been a lot of things, most of them unpleasant, but he’d definitely been a fighter. Now he was gone.

Curse you, afterwards character feels! :(((

           Wymack cleared his throat and scratched a hand through his short hair. “Look. Shit happened. Shit’s going to keep happening. You don’t need me to tell you life isn’t fair. You’re here because you know it isn’t. Life doesn’t care what we want out of it; it’s up to us to fight for what we want with everything we’ve got. Seth wanted us to win. He wanted us to make it past the fourth match. I think we owe it to him to perform. Let’s show the world what we’ve got. Let’s make this our year.”

An actual leaked picture of me reacting to this speech.

How do I love thee, Wymack? Let me count the ways………. A FUCKTON.

After that rousing example of a pep talk, everyone gets ready for practice, and I discover a completely accidental pun that I can’t believe I witnessed with my own two eyes:

           A vanity separated the toilets from the shower stalls, and Neil stopped there on his way back to consider his reflection. (…)

           He didn’t realize how long he’d stalled until Matt and Kevin came looking for him.

Get it? Cause he’s in the stalls………….

I’ll see myself out.

           “All the way to finals?” Neil asked.

           “Miracles happen,” Matt said.

           “Don’t rely on something as insubstantial as a miracle,” Kevin said. “You won’t win anything by standing around. Finish getting changed and get down to the court.”

           “One day I want you to look up ‘insensitivity’ in the dictionary,” Matt said, annoyed. “I’m sure it’ll do your ego wonders to see your picture printed beside it.”

GET FUCKIN REKT. Matt, baby, I didn’t know you had such hidden sass qualities. Where were you hiding them and how can we see more of them, like, now.

After a bit of training, Nicky and Andrew finally show up, but before Wymack can shoo them out onto the court, something unexpected happens:

Andrew gets a phone call.

If we learnt anything from the last one he got (which was a killer, by the way), it’s that phone calls for Andrew never mean anything fucking good.

           “Pig Higgins, is that you?” Andrew asked. “Oh, it is. Yes, I’m surprised. Did you forget I don’t like surprises? What? No, don’t stall. You wouldn’t hunt me down after all this time just to chat, so what do you want?” Andrew went quiet for a few seconds to listen, then said, “No,” and hung up.

What. What the fuck is happening. How does Andrew have this police officer so whipped that he gets to call him Pig.

           “What? No, I didn’t hang up on you. I wouldn’t do that. I – no. Shut up.”

           Andrew hung up again.

I want to find this funny, but I just find it weird and disturbing, with a side of asshole-ish. He doesn’t seem in the mood for jokes, he seems serious, yet he keeps hanging up and denying it? This is very fishy to me.

           “Go back,” Andrew finally said. “Who complained? Oh, Pig, don’t give me the runaround. I know where you work, you see. I know who you work with. That means there’s a child in her house. She isn’t supposed – what? No. Don’t ask me that. I said don’t. Leave me alone. Hey,” Andrew said, a little louder like he was trying to drown the officer’s arguments out. “Call me again and I’ll kill you.”

WHAT IS HAPPENING. Who is “she”? What is she not supposed to do? And a child? Whattt.

           “Why is the Oakland PD calling you?”

           “The pig and I go way back,” Andrew said. “He just wanted to catch up. (…) He worked with the Oakland PAL program. Thought he could save at-risk kids by teaching them sports after school. Kind of like you, yes? Idealistic to the core.”

Excuse you, bitch, you’re making that sound like an insult and I am not liking it.

After that scene, completely unimpressed by everyone’s gaping mouths and ‘what-the-fuck’ expressions (including mine), Andrew decides to once again demonstrate his absolute indifference to anything Exy and gets the fuck out of there.

           Impatience pulled Kevin’s mouth into a hard line. “Knock it off. You can’t leave.”

           There was a heartbeat of silence, and Andrew turned around with a wide, wicked smile on his lips. “I can’t, Kevin? I’ll show you what I can’t do. Try and put me on your court today and I’ll take myself off it permanently. Fuck you practice, your line-up, and your stupid fucking game.”

           “That’s enough. We don’t have time for your tantrums.”

           Andrew twisted and punched the wall hard enough to split the skin along his knuckles.

Oh my god, chill out, my dude, what the fuck, take a chill pill, calm your tatas.

Obviously, everyone lets him go after that, but Wymack isn’t quite ready to let the entire subject off the hook yet:

           “Answers, now, Aaron,” Wymack said.

           “I don’t know,” Aaron said. (…) “He was Andrew’s mentor, not mine. I only met the guy once.” (…)

           “Oh,” Nicky said in startled realization. “Is he – ?”

           He didn’t finish, but Aaron understood what he was asking.

           “Yeah,” Aaron said. “He’s the one who told me I had a brother.”

OH SHIT. I’m beyond pumped for the explanation of that backstory.

And we’re done! Good first chapter, shade, practice, violence, lil bit of cryptic backstory, standard Fox program as always. Not much has happened yet, though, as it mostly serves to get us back into the story.

I’m excited for more.