#i am not worthy of supergirl fandom

[fiercelyliterate]

i wrote MY OWN supergirl fan fiction, because i am impossible to please, and if you are interested in the fan fiction of a CASUAL FAN, you can read it if you want. 

it is about kara and lena, and i wrote it without actually having seen the most recent episode. 

“You are my kryptonite,” he tells her.

Everything in her revolts, and she recoils from him. “What? What do you mean? I drain the life out of you?" She scowls, folding her arms across her chest.  

"No, no," he backtracks, eyes wide. "Not—I just mean... I've never felt this way, vulnerable like this."

She sighs and shakes her head. "I don't think you get it. Don't give me that power over you."

"You don't drain the life out of me, Kara, that's not—"

“No. I think you’d better figure out what ‘feeling this way’ really means. I’m not here to make you weak. I really thought you were getting it, Mon-El.” She takes another step back as he tries to advance on her. “I’ll see you later.”

He lets her guide him to the door, utterly confused but unresisting, and she closes it gently in his face. She slides to the floor, her head on her knees. She really thought she’d been getting through to him. But it was clear now that he didn’t understand anything she’d been trying to teach him.  

She hears him say it again, “You are my kryptonite,” as though that’s something she’d ever want to hear, but suddenly it’s a different voice telling her, “You are my hero.”

And she remembers someone else who filled her room with flowers, with no expectations, no ulterior motives. There’s someone else she’s been championing—and that someone has actually risen to the occasion.  

She remembers getting into work that day, the day after she almost lost her, and being taken aback by the wall of flowers. They were beautiful, and they must have cost a fortune, even for the Luthor heir. The only thing the note said was, “Thank you for believing in me.”

Before she even realizes it, Supergirl is on her way to the Luthor penthouse downtown. She remembers just in time Lena Luthor sent all those flowers to Kara, not Supergirl, and so she enters the lobby of the building like a normal person. As she stands in the elevator, she thinks about that. Kara Danvers is Lena Luthor’s hero, not Supergirl. Does Mon-El even think about Kara Danvers?

“What am I even doing here?” she asks herself, but the elevator doors have opened, and a very surprised, but very gracious Lena is inviting her inside.  

“To what do I owe the pleasure of your late night company?” Lena asks, with a smile, and something in her stomach lurches. Is Lena flirting with her? Has she…always been flirting with her?  

“I have had the weirdest day,” she blurts, and then she’s on a very comfortable sofa with a very attentive listener, and all the garbage she’s put up with from “Mike” comes spilling out.  

“Goodness,” Lena remarks blandly, careful to share no opinion, when she finally clams up. “Why would he call you his kryptonite?”

“I know, right? Kryptonite would destroy him. It makes no sense!” she says, without thinking, and only barely catches the frown on Lena’s face. But she can’t stop the complete look of horror that flashes on her face.  

“I believe there’s something you’ve left out of the saga of Kara and Mike,” Lena says placidly, letting her founder.  

She thinks about trying to play it like just Mike is the alien, but then she meets Lena’s eyes and realizes she doesn’t want to lie to her. Even though she’s a Luthor. Even though Alex would surely kill her. But Alex isn’t here.  

And so she opens her shirt to reveal the shield. Lena’s mouth hangs open for just a moment, but she recovers quickly. “Well. For a minute there, I almost thought you’d picked up on all of my flirting, Kara Danvers,” she says wryly.  

Kara’s face burns hot as she quickly buttons her shirt back up. “Well. I… Lena…”

“Your secret is safe with me, truly,” Lena says gently, all traces of playfulness gone. “Thank you for trusting me.”

“I do trust you. Even though no one wants me to. You’re more than your name.”

Lena lets her eyes flutter shut and takes a deep breath. “Thank you.”

“He filled my apartment with flowers,” Kara says, standing up. “They weren’t anything like yours.”

“Yes, well. I do have exquisite taste,” Lena says lightly, and carefully tugs Kara back toward the couch. “Don’t drop a bomb on me and run, Supergirl.”

Kara sighs and sits and thinks about sinking into Lena’s arms, but she holds herself rigid. “You didn’t come here to tell me your secret.”

“No. No, that was not my plan. I don’t think I had one though. I just… Well. When he said I was his kryptonite, it just made me think of the way you said I was your hero, and I just…” She shrugs. “I’m having feelings, I guess? And I don’t know what they are, but I do know that…I like the way you make me feel a lot better than the way he makes me feel.”

“Well, I am glad you’re here,” Lena tells her, and that sends warmth spreading through her whole body.

When Lena leans closer, her body meets her halfway, and when Lena kisses her, her body knows exactly how to respond. Her head, however…

Once her conscious mind catches up to what's happening, Kara quickly but carefully extricates herself from an embrace she hadn’t even known she wanted. The way her whole body protests shocks her. Is this what she's wanted? She did just barge into Lena Luthor’s apartment and reveal her secret with basically no prompting.  

“Do I have feelings for you?” she regrettably says out loud, and Lena has the grace not to laugh in her face.

But she does catch a slight flash of hurt in those dark eyes, and the way that makes her feel pretty much clears away any doubts.

“Oh god, I am so sorry I said that out loud,” she rushes to say. “Of course I have feelings for you. I’m a mess, Lena. I’m sorry.”

Lena laughs, and the sound immediately lifts her spirits. “I must admit this is not how I imagined this playing out, but it is so very, very Kara Danvers.”

Kara blushes, hangs her head, laughs, and admits that Lena is not wrong. “You imagined this, did you?” she says, catching on, her eyes alight.  

When Lena blushes, Kara feels a kind of triumph, but also a strange pang of tenderness. It’s not often that Lena’s defenses lower like that. “Shall I tell you some of the other things I’ve imagined?” Lena says, her voice suddenly huskier, and Kara’s eyes go wide.  

“Well. You can maybe save some of them for our first date. But you may give me a preview now.” She actually winks, like the dork she is, and Lena just smiles and kisses her again.

“I think I’ll leave you in suspense,” she says, standing up.

Inwardly, Kara groans, but she makes herself smile. “Now that sounds like you,” she rejoins, and then they are both smiling at each other, bashful, and Kara leans down to kiss Lena once more. “I’ll call you, about that date,” she promises.  

“You had better.”

Their first date goes very well, so well in fact, that it ends in Kara’s living room, with lots of kissing. Face flushed, encouraged by the way Kara is touching her, Lena begins to unbutton Kara’s shirt. She is charmed, and only a little surprised, to find the Supergirl shield instead of the possibly lacy bra she’d been imagining throughout dinner.  

Kara blushes and pulls away, but Lena immediately pulls her back. “Do you always wear the Supergirl outfit? How does the cape fit under your clothes?” she asks, sliding her hands across Kara’s shoulders.

“Alien technology,” she says smartly, and Lena laughs. Kara gently headbutts her and lets Lena pull her into her arms. “I’m sorry about Supergirl. I have to have it whenever I leave the house. Also, I didn’t expect things to move quite so fast.”

“Am I rushing you?” Lena worries, but Kara quickly shakes her head.  

“No, no. I’m just… You know, I don’t date…a lot. So I guess I wasn’t sure what to expect.” She sits up and wriggles out of her shirt. “I do actually have a very cute bra on under this getup,” she flirts, and Lena is leveled.  

“I would love to see it,” she whispers, and before she can even blink, Kara is in kneeling in front of her, shirt open, Supergirl shield gone. And a very lacy red bra on full display. “Why, Miss Danvers. It appears you are trying to seduce me.”

“It appears to be working, Miss Luthor,” Kara responds, and she lets Lena pull her up onto the sofa.  

There are more kisses, more touches, more tentative exploration of warm, impossibly smooth skin. There are little moans and breathy whispers and rushed fumbling with zippers and clasps. There are gasps when skin meets skin, and shy looks and requests for permission to go further, and there is nothing but assent.  

And then there is Kara’s telephone. She’s up off the sofa in a flash, leaving Lena uncovered, disheveled, bereft, and as she watches Kara transform into Supergirl, she wonders just what she’s gotten herself into.

But then, before she rushes off to save the world, she stops and presses a kiss to Lena’s forehead. “Stay if you like. I’ll be back as fast as I can,” she whispers, and then she’s gone.  

As much as she would like to be waiting for Kara when she returns, Lena can’t bear to stay in the apartment by herself, so she carefully puts herself back together and calls her driver.  

At home, she gets ready for bed, trying to ignore the ache that leaving Kara has caused in her. She knows she won’t fall asleep anytime soon, so she makes herself comfortable in her living room, wrapping a blanket around herself as she picks up a book. A part of her is hoping that Supergirl will stop here after she’s finished her mission, but she won't let herself entertain that possibility.  

Eventually, she does fall asleep, there on the sofa, book dangling out of her hand, and eventually Supergirl does land on her balcony and carefully let herself inside. It’s nearly dawn because the mission this time hadn’t been some two-bit thieves, but it’s over, and her time is her own again.  

She carefully sets the book on the coffee table and smooths Lena’s hair. She changes the Supergirl outfit for yoga pants and an oversized Henley. And she quietly climbs onto the sofa and spoons Lena in her arms. “Kara?” she murmurs, half-asleep, and Kara kisses her hair.  

“Shhh, go back to sleep,” she orders gently, and Lena does, a smile faint on her lips.  

Only a minute or so later, Kara joins her.

[asagimeta]

Support Kara Danvers 2020

Ok ya'll here we go it's Unpopular Opinion Time

The ENTIRE EPISODE was a godsend- INCLUDING THE ENDING

But before I go there, I need to clarify because some misheard it: Kara did not call Lena a villain, what she said was that if Lena continues to go down this path that she knows is wrong, then she will BECOME a villain, and?? That isn't wrong?? Nothing good ever comes of working with Lex and Lena of all people should know this by now

I think the most disappointing thing I've seen in this fandom is how people constantly jump to Lena's defense and kick Kara in the teeth, like, babes, Kara does that enough all on her own

I know Lena is hurting, but there's an enormous difference between "I'm hurting and acting on those hurts in a probably not great way" and "I'm hurting and using that as my excuse to hurt people and put the world at great risk by working with someone who I know has never done anything but harm society at large"

But what I really am furious about is people's treatment of Kara

Kara who has tried so hard and beaten herself up so much over the smallest of mistakes and tries relentlessly to make it right and to forgive even when she's literally been shot with Kryptonite

Tonight proves beyond reasonable doubt that Kara has been backed into a corner all this time- she couldn't have told Lena a season ago, or two, she could only have told her during the very beginning of the relationship and honestly.... that's so extremely unfair to her to suggest that she should have done that

Kara DIDN'T know Lena well enough back then, she didn't know her enough to know that Lena wouldn't tell someone else or that she would be a longterm relationship, she didn't know if telling  Lena would put her into more danger or not, you cannot blame her for not knowing something she had no way of knowing

This episode was so extremely important, not just to Kara, but to the audience that Supergirl has always been aimed at: Young girls and young women

Kara has blamed herself for all of Lena's actions all this time and that just isn't fair to her, and it isn't right, no matter what motivation you argue, no matter who's "Right" and who's "Wrong", it doesn't change the fact that Lena is the one making the choices, Kara did not "drive her there", and even if she did, it's still LENA'S choice at the end of the day, and this episode did exactly what it should have: It told Kara that she can't keep blaming herself, it gave her an out, it allowed her to be relieved of her misplaced guilt, and perhaps most importantly: It told her that another person's actions are not her's to control- and therefore, not her's to feel guilty for

And this is really important for young women and young girls to hear- hell it's important for everyone but especially in a world that's so steeped in victim blaming and victimizing women, one that constantly tells girls that it's their fault for being abused, attacked, lied to, mistreated, etc- and not just from men either

It's so important to teach girls that even in female/female relationships (be they romantic or platonic) it's still possible to suffer from being mistreated, and that it isn't ok

Because Goddess knows nobody else is going to

Girls need to learn that setting boundaries is not only ok, it's IMPORTANT, no matter what kind of relationship you have or who it's with, and that it's important to take care of yourself and not take on someone else's choices as your own

Was Kara's speech harsh? Yes, but Lena needed to hear it, she needed to know that Kara couldn't and wouldn't keep letting Lena take out her hurt and anger on her- and Kara's actions are HARDLY harsh compared to how Lena has been treating her all season, she hit more than enough low-blows herself

Kara did exactly what everyone SHOULD do when in a relationship that's hurting you- tell the other person that you aren't going to allow yourself to be hurt, open your arms for the chance of forgiveness and communication and love, but establish that if they continue to cross your personal line, then you cannot and will not and SHOULD NOT continue to act like it's your fault and take the consequences for their actions

I'm not much of a Mon-El fan but "You deserve the same compassion you show others" is a message that is outrageously imporant here, for Kara and for ALL girls who look up to her, hurting yourself over the same things you're willing to forgive others over isn't good for anyone and anyone who says otherwise is not worthy of your time

I'm completely happy with this episode, overall

I think it did the best thing with the 100th theme because wile, yes, I ofcourse loved that it was Supercorp, the much bigger take away is that Kara FINALLY acheived the one thing she's constantly been missing for the last 99 episodes- The ability to forgive herself and validate her own existence and experiences by putting her foot down about letting people hurt her- no more excuses, no more arguments, no discussions

"I will not let anyone hurt me by allowing them to convince me to hurt myself" is the biggest take-away from this episode and it's IMPORTANT

Supergirl has always done well at balancing the line of forgiveness and compassion with justice and fighting for what's right and it continues to do so

Lena has not yet become a villain- as Kara herself stated- but she's on the track to be one, and she needs to be pulled back, not only is it important for Kara to address this to Lena, but it's important for the show to address it to the audience, as otherwise, it runs the risk of either turning her into a villain just as we've always feared it would, or offering her "redemption" in a way that doesn't clarify that what she's been doing all this time is wrong and on a villainness path and that's not good either because it does a disservice to Lena (as it doesn't serve to show her a proper redemption arc) and it implies that some people can get away with anything they want- another thing Supergirl has always fought against

I really hope that people look past the fact that we didn't get a gooey Supercorp moment at the end and instead honor and love the fact that we got a very strong moment for Kara Danvers as a person

[team-science-mega-nerds]

Fictober Prompt #1: “It will be fun, trust me.”

Fandom: Supergirl

Pairing: Danvarias (Sam x Alex)

Warnings: None

Sam has grown on Alex. After a year’s worth of game nights, two drunk calls, and an entire season of rec league soccer with Ruby, Alex realizes that she might have a new friend after all. So when it’s time for the annual Danvers family camping trip at Big Bear, Sam is the first person Alex asks. The surprise on Sam’s face is obvious and that leads to a scramble of if you wants and maybe next years but Sam is happy. Thrilled that Alex even thought of her. 

It isn’t until they’re all there, opening the cabin windows and setting their weekend bags down on the couch in the common room, that Alex starts to feel a bit uneasy. For one, Eliza is drunk on excitement. Which is the typical reaction she has to spending more than one day with her daughters. But Eliza appears especially enamored by Sam and Ruby’s presence. “I’ve been waiting years to play grandma,” Eliza tells Ruby, not so discreetly. Alex cocks her head to the side but regards the comment as nothing more than what it is, Eliza spoiling a very worthy and lovable kid. 

When Kara tells them that she’s going to gather some wood and tugs Lena along, Alex starts to wonder. Is it strange that Kara brought her girlfriend and Alex brought Sam? It was normal, right? They were friends and just because James and Brainy backed out that didn’t mean this was some kind of couples retreat. “Should we go look at the lake?” Sam suggests.

“That sounds like a great idea! I can get things settled in the kitchen, while you three take a stroll.” At the mention of the kitchen, Ruby seems to perk up. 

“Actually, can I stay with you Ms. Danvers? I’m in a cooking class, I can help.” Eliza looks delighted and Sam looks proud. Alex is still overthinking everything, so she’s resigned to trudging behind Sam. At least the pathway is marked which makes it much easier for Alex to run through every single interaction she’s ever had with Sam without tripping over her feet.

“You’re quiet.” 

“I am? Sorry.” Sam ties her hair up into a ponytail. 

“It seems like...did I do something wrong?” Alex stops sulking and looks to Sam. This is the last thing she wants, for Sam to feel like it’s her fault. “When you asked me, I thought...well, good things.”

“You didn’t do anything. I just realized that Kara’s here with Lena and I’m here with...you.” Alex hopes her words speak for themselves. Sam still looks very uncertain. “I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable.”

“We’re all here together,” Sam insists. They arrive at a clearing that overlooks the lake. It’s gorgeous and quiet. Sitting at a small dock are small pedal boats. Sam is practically bouncing on her toes. “Oh my god! I haven’t been on one of those in like fifty years.” Sam isn’t quite jogging but her long legs carry her there fairly fast. 

“Well...have fun!” Alex shouts from where she’s standing twenty feet away. Sam stops climbing into the boat and looks at Alex with a frown.

“You’re not coming with me?”

“I don’t...I don’t like water.” Sam laughs and then quickly covers her mouth. “Jerk.”

“Sorry, it’s just...you’re so badass.” Sam approaches her and grabs both of Alex’s hands. “It will be fun, trust me.” She smiles wide as Alex slowly starts to follow guided by the warmth of Sam’s touch and an eager need to see Sam smile like this always. “I’ll protect you.” Alex closes her eyes and nods because of course, she does. 

As a rule, Alex avoids large bodies of water. Even baths give her a bit of the creeps. But Sam's hand is like an anchor. Stable and holding her nerves down. The boat itself doesn’t seem that terrifying and the silence, which should feel daunting, only leaves room for Alex to hear the airiness of Sam’s laughter as they go. “You have to move your legs.”

“I said I’d come, I didn’t say I’d do anything.” 

“Fine. Close your eyes, relax...I’ll do everything.” Sam nudges Alex’s side. “If I was your girlfriend, I wouldn’t let you just sit there, by the way.”

“Oh yeah?” 

“Yeah.” Alex keeps her eyes closed but pedals a little bit. “That’s more like it.” Sam dips her hand down into the water and splashes Alex just to get Alex to open her eyes. “Now...what other things are you scared of? I quite like being the brave one.”

“Plenty, I guess.”

“Not me, I hope?” Sam grabs hold of Alex���s hand as they float out there in the middle of the lake. 

“No. Definitely not you.”

[sultrysweet]

Close Encounters Update - Ch. 14

Fandom: Supergirl (2015)

Pairing: Kara Danvers (Supergirl)/Cat Grant

Rating: T

Excerpt:

Kara watched as Carter blushed hard enough that she didn’t doubt she would have been able to see it from space, but then she saw him squeeze Sarah’s hand and say something that made the girl laugh.

“Look at them,” Kara said.

“I am looking,” Cat nearly growled.

Kara chuckled but didn’t comment on Cat’s snappish interruption. “She’s just as smitten as he is, and he seems very present. Nowhere near out of breath and desperate to name planets.”

“I don’t care that he’s not panicked.”

“We both know that’s not true.”

Cat sighed. “He’s just growing up so fast.”

“Yeah, he is.”

Cat whipped her head around to glare at Kara, who smiled and continued with what she wanted to say.

“And look at the sweet young man you raised your sweet boy to be.”

Cat softened with those words before she slowly turned back to watch Carter.

Kara looked out the window as well and didn’t have to wait long for another gasp-worthy interaction to occur.

Read on AO3

[lycanhood]

Thoughts on Supergirl 5x11 “Back to The Future Pt. 1″

Okay, so the obvious problem here...(and I mean beyond all that utter nonsense with the robot tigers for some reason, because that’s pretty on-par with the Arrowverse’s usual brand of utter nonsense) is the Kara/William situation. One of 2 things could be happening with that...

1.) The SG Writers are dumbasses and they think it would be funny to rile everyone up about Kara getting another bland, boring love interest around fucking Valentine’s Day, only for the promo for episode 12 to be misleading. In reality, Kara and William’s date could be a dud or a ruse of some kind that leads to nothing but a bit of fun and maybe strengthening their friendship and partnership for the better. (This is clearly the only kinda okay option, even if it’s fucking annoying, because we’ve already been through enough bullshit.)

or option 2.) They really are drunk on power and completely oblivious to their fandom. In which case they really are about to put Kara and William together in a serious way. Which is not only predictable in the most lazy and boring way, but also is not what anyone or at least not what the majority of the fandom is interested in. Even since the beginning of the season when they introduced William I’ve only seen responses that range from “Eh, we don’t really need Kara/William” to “Thanks, I hate it.” I personally lean towards the latter for so many reasons that I will not waste time listing here, because they should really be obvious at this point.

Beyond that and moving right along...I’m fucking sick of Lex Luthor. 

This isn’t anything I have against Jon Cryer. I actually think he’s doing a pretty good job and standing out as his own kind of Lex Luthor (playful but not goofy, diabolical but not completely insane). However, Lex Luthor is a Superman villain. I got all the good Lex Luthor content I’m ever going to want or need from Smallville, I don’t need him to be the main villain on Supergirl.

It was find for last season, just a one off “Oh no, he escaped! and Superman is not here!” sort of one last hoorah thing. And though I didn’t love how season 4 turned out it was at least interesting to see the Arrowverse’s version of him and of course it OFFERED GOOD CHARACTER BACKGROUND AND DEVELOPMENT FOR LENA!!! Lena aka the only Luthor this show/story needs! 

Lena, who in the wake of Crisis, has not only been fucking robbed of her company, which she saved and rebuilt from the ground up after Lex all but ruined it...Sorry, I got a little distracted by rage there (deep breath) Anyway, now Lena has been designated to Lex’s fucking sidekick in whatever he’s doing now. Lena “I’ve never stood behind a man” Luthor is now in fact standing right behind a man. And not just any man, the man that has manipulated and abused and used her for her entire life. So yeah, that’s happening. I don’t know if Lex’s presence is going to be a permanent thing now or maybe it’s just til the end of this season, but either way. He’s long over stayed his welcome in my book.

It just goes to show that the SG Writers are incapable of coming up with good villains (for the overall season or for individual episodes). I don’t have high hopes for Leviathan, especially if Rama Khan is the best they got as far as powers go. That shit is boring. I miss Astra and Maxwell Lord and Queen Rhea, now there were adversaries worthy of Supergirl. Andrea could have been cool, but now they’ve just wasted her on the Leviathan storyline.

I’m so tired, friends. Honestly, not sure I can keep watching this, but I’ve said that before and yet here I am...

P.S. and a silver lining, I actually like what’s going on with Brainy. Obviously the makeup is better, but on a more important level his logic and his identity as a Brainiac is cool and interesting and I think it could open some doors for some cooler storylines/villains in the future. I’m not happy about him and Nia breaking up, but I think it makes some sense while he readjust to who he is now and what that means. I’m hopeful they’ll find their way back to each other.

[ao3feed-supercorp]

Starheart

by The_fake_ReliusClover

My name is Lena Luthor. For the past year and a half, I have worked to save my family's company and redeem our name after my brother nearly ran both into the ground. However, my life changed forever when a magic ring from outer space chose me to be its next wielder. I may not be worthy of the ring's power, but I will fight till the bitter end to protect my planet from anyone who would seek to harm it, human or alien.

I am the Green Lantern.

Words: 5177, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Series: Part 4 of Marvelous Multiverse, Part 1 of Green Lantern Lena Luthor

Fandoms: Supergirl (TV 2015), Green Lantern - All Media Types, DCU (Comics)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: F/F

Characters: Kara Danvers, Lena Luthor, Jessica Cruz, Aya (GLTAS), Kilowog (DCU), Simon Baz

Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, Jessica Cruz & Aya (GLTAS)

Additional Tags: Lena Luthor as Green Lantern, takes place between seasons 2 and 3, Lena Luthor Finds Out Kara Danvers is Supergirl, Kara Danvers Tells Lena Luthor About Being Supergirl, but she doesn't turn evil, Pining, Slow Burn, Post-GLTAS

from AO3 works tagged 'Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor' https://ift.tt/2oe3qFq via IFTTT http://archiveofourown.org/works/20895293

[estelofimladris]

My Longest Day Ever in Fandom

This has been one of the hardest 48 hours for me as a fan. Really they’ve been pretty bad in the scope of me being a person, but in my fandom experience, this shit takes the cake.

** WARNING: THERE ARE SPOILERS FOR The Magicians as well as some minor spoilers for Pirates of the Caribbean, Harry Potter, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., Avengers: Infinity War, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, The Flash, and Supergirl. **

** ALSO: This shit gets super personal. Don’t read if it makes you uncomfortable. **

I get that I’m specifically interested in stories of struggle and triumph. I thrive with stories about how the things worth having aren’t easily obtained. And sometimes people fail and sometimes people lie. There are horrible obstacles and things to conquer.

A bit of my fandom-inflicted past:

Will Turner was my favorite Pirates character. We had tickets not only to the three-movie marathon on opening day, but then the midnight screening. I nearly didn’t go to the second screening.

Sirius Black is why I got into Harry Potter. I got into it at the weird middle place when the books were still coming out and the movies were being made. I had been forced to read the first book when it was first published and it had left a very bad taste for me so the fact that anything could draw me into the fandom was insane. I watched Prisoner of Azkaban entirely by chance while hanging with my cousins and had read all the books by the time Goblet of Fire was released. I lived in and loved a fandom where my favorite character was dead before I even got a chance to know him.

Grant Ward was one of my two my favorite Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. characters. I rushed a Ward cosplay for WonderCon, which happened to be scheduled about a week after the release of Captain America: The Winter Soldier and less than a week after the AoS episode “Turn, Turn, Turn” aired, revealing that Ward was a brainwashed and abused Hydra sleeper agent the whole time. I then nearly scrapped the entirely completed cosplay. Instead I wore it to WonderCon and had people whispering “Hail Hydra” to me all weekend.

I spent at least three years living with a TV curse. Every show that I watched before its renewal for a second season was cancelled. To this day, I struggle to watch new shows because I fear that I will fall in love with a show only for it to be cancelled.

In the past year, I have lost 5 of my favorite characters to sudden deaths/departures:

Bucky Barnes (Avengers: Infinity War)

Harry Wells (The Flash)

Leo Fitz (Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.)

Winn Schott (Supergirl)

And this is about the most recent one, Quentin Coldwater (The Magicians)

I also know that there are more to come:

Avengers: Endgame comes out next week.

Arrow is ending at the end of this year.

There are more stories of woe and uncomfortable spaces in which we want to see our favorites succeed and they fail or lose or die. But this, this is more than just someone failing or losing or dying.

I survived all that other shit. I was a little off for a few days following or weeks or months or even years. But we always come back to Fandom. Maybe not the same fandom, but the big idea of Fandom. Being a fan isn’t something you can really just stop.

I got into The Magicians because of serendipity. Two of my closest friends got into the show at some point last year and had mentioned that I’d liked it, but it was one in a malaise of fandoms that I’d been told that about and I only have so many hours in the day and space in my heart. One of the people I was rooming with at SDCC this last year had freshly gotten into the show and was going to the panel. Another of my friends was going to the panel as well who had freshly gotten into the show. When I asked about it afterwards, the lovely human said they’d met a lovely other new fan. My friends had met entirely by chance at the panel and I got to hear all about how lovely the fandom was and that it was a really great panel with a lot of promise for the new season.

I got home from SDCC and, one day while curious, watched the pilot of The Magicians.

I finished the show in less than three weeks. I watched it again. I’ve probably watched this show more than any other media since August.

A bit of background about me and why this show struck a very deep chord with me:

I met my entire close group of friends, my found family, because of Lord of the Rings. I learned Sindarin (elvish) in high school. Every screen name I have is related to my love and foundation of loving Lord of the Rings. I have a tattoo in elvish.

I grew up around a lot of mental illness. I myself have been diagnosed and treated for adolescent/adult ADD, but members of my family as well as every best friend I’ve ever had, has been depressed and most were suicidal. I had to confront my best friend over suicide attempts at 13. My brother was treated for extremely aggressive childhood depression when I was a kid.

I’m also queer. Still working to unstick myself from some definitions I’ve given myself, but I’m definitely genderqueer and androphilic and exploring my romantic identity in part because of this show.

I’ve delt with death my whole life. My first grandparent (maternal grandfather) died when I was 5 or 6. My last grandparent (paternal grandmother) died when I was 22. I had a dear friend die in a motorcycle accident in 2015. I’ve been there for people who have lost loved ones suddenly and held people’s hands through the deaths of parents, loved ones, and children.

I also am about to complete my third and final year of an insanely rigorous graduate costume design program.

This show felt like it was made for me to love it. It made it so easy.

The fandom was a loving community that welcomed me immediately and I have thrived there. I would come home from a crazy day at school, put on an episode of the show, and get lost in the lovely fandom that I’d found myself in. I mean that both ways. Yes, I tripped and fell and found myself among excellent people. But more importantly, I found myself in ways I didn’t expect through The Magicians.

Through a series of very unfortunate events, I stopped reading Fan Fiction about 7 or 8 years ago. I would occasionally write something, but nothing that I cared about what anyone thought about it. It was only writing that had to be written not writing for an audience in any way.

The Magicians got me reading Fan Fiction again. I drew fan art. I participated in discussions on the meta. I joined in when I don’t really have the free time, but it felt so good.

In Quentin in particular, I found a part of myself that was seldom voiced. This melancholy nerd who was Doing His Very Best™ all the time tapped into the kid who loved something so much it transformed their life. It spoke to the parts of me that I don’t talk about that feel like a fraud and a floundering fool. The Magicians told me that I’m not some pathetic thing. That I’m part of my world and that I belong. That it’s ok to re-think about sexuality and romance as an adult. It spoke to my struggles with school and creating something from absolutely fucking nothing.

Something that I’ve not told many people: I’ve struggled with feeling worthy of love. I’ve had some really big relationships that ended poorly and ever since coming out as genderqueer and living my truth, I’ve been single. Watching Quentin be so worthy of love and struggle with that himself, he really shifted my views on relationships.

So, Wednesday was, needless to say, rough.

The fun twist though, I have a mandatory class on Thursday mornings. I had a lot of anxiety about this finale already because I had a notion that something horrible was going to happen because its a Magicians finale. I really struggled to work on homework for the past week. (I texted a friend on Wednesday “How am I supposed to work under these conditions!?” partway through the day.)

This anxiety resulted in not all of my homework being done by the time I had set aside to cook a delicious dinner and settle in to watch the episode with friends. So at the end, after I had cried, drank, nearly threw up from being upset, and was all-in-all a complete wreck, I then proceeded to work on homework until I couldn’t, then I put myself to bed with an alarm set to wake up early and finish, but woke up with a nearly-vomiting anxiety attack (which I don’t get ever) an hour before my alarm.

I finished my homework on my 1.5 hours of sleep, went to class, tried to be eloquent and not burst into tears. I sorta succeeded at both, thankfully. My work was... sub-par, but present, which was the only real requirement. Despite some close calls, I didn’t cry until I was in my car driving home.

I got home, cried a lot, tried to eat and sleep (and failed at both) and ended up having a second wake with another friend and drinking, which finally made me fall asleep.

Throughout the day, I seriously considered deleting every Magicians post from my queue and even my Tumblr as a whole. I thought about dropping out of fandom entirely, including conventions, cosplay - all of it. I thought about selling or donating all of the considerable amount of Magicians merch and related items (cosplay, decor, fan-made merch) that I’ve accumulated in the past few months. I thought about shaving off the hair that I grew out specifically for Quentin that helped me re-shape my queer identity over the past few months.

I woke up in the middle of the night again with more panic attacks. It took sitting with my best friend to make me really fall asleep and stay asleep.

Today, I’m looking back at this whole experience up to this point and I’m so exhausted. I’m tired of crying over something that just brought me so much deep joy. I miss my fandom. We’re all in mourning and its chilling.

I decided somewhere in my insanity yesterday that I need to reclaim The Magicians that I loved. I posted about how it will take time, but they can’t kill the love that transformed my life.

I’m still not sure how to get out of this horrible raw place, but I know time will help. And actually eating a real meal.

I’m sharing all of this because I’m not the only one in this place. If you’re struggling, you are not alone.

I see you. I feel you.

Thank you for being a part of this fandom that has so heavily enriched my life. You are loved. We will find ourselves again.

[of-suns-and-guns]

Am I the only one who’s annoyed that the Supergirl tag has almost nothing but Lena posts? Like I counted maybe four or five Kara and Alex posts.

I do  get that. But it’s the titular tag, so it exists to catch ALL the posts tagged in relation to that fandom, not just posts about Supergirl herself, and in doing so, tends to reflect the tone of the largest demographics within the fandom. Not the most worthy, or the healthiest, or the most romantic, or the best; that’s all subjective. The tag just reflects the largest, the most people, a by-the-numbers kind of assessment.

I understand the frustration, and have also found myself wishing the SC fandom's fixation wasn’t quite so heavily reflected in the generalized tags.

But that’s where you have to check yourself, and really ask yourself what solution you’re looking for here; what it might look like, and whether or not that’s an okay thing to fight for.

It is frustrating to go into the tag and see so many Lena-centric posts, to want the SC fandom to fixate more on Kara, or see more value in the Danvers sisters. But the solution to that would be telling them they aren’t welcome in the general tag until they begin prioritizing our priorities over their own, and it would be arrogant of us to claim our way is the best way to love the show properly.

That’s why we have sub-tags. The gen tags are always a mess anyway.

[ninemusings]

My Take on Mon-El as a “Slave Owning Abuser.”

There are a few things that have come to my attention regarding the Supergirl fandom as of late.

First, I would like to commend all of the Karamel fans, who, after losing their ship in an un-fitting and disappointing way, have remained strong. They have not been attacking Supercorp, or complaining about what could have been. Karamel’s have been fighting for justice.

Good on us.

Second, I am sick and tired of people regarding Mon-El as a slave-owning, misogynistic abuser. Plenty of you have probably seen the post I am referencing, but I would rather be civil than confronting.

Sure, at the beginning of season two, Mon-El did have some fatal flaws. He had grown up in a society that had shaped him into a man with strong morals and ideas (however incorrect) – something that he was not completely in control of.

It is academically proven that cultures and our surrounding natural environments have a significant impact on how we perceive the wider world. This does not justify genocide or mass murder, but with an open mind, you can understand why Mon-El acted the way that he did. It was an entrenched component of his being AND (do not forget) that he learnt to move past this.

Season three has seen Mon-El become a strong and independent figure. He is a leader, a husband and a hero. He has adapted for the better in a society that was initially strange and foreign to him. Yes, he is a white attractive male, but he does not overshadow Kara. Kara chose to be with him and she still remained the star of her show.

Mon-El is not a bad character, either through writing or personality. While I personally do not believe that the writers will create a romantic relationship between Lena and Kara; I certainly wouldn’t turn around and call her an evil, lying maniac, if they did.

SO; if you think Mon-El is awful, good on you. That doesn’t bother me (heck, don’t tell anyone, but I really didn’t like Hook 2.0 in OUAT). What bothers me, and I assume, much of the Karamel fandom is when you don’t see the evolution of Mon-El’s character.

After all, it is his hero arc that cements his relationship with Kara and makes him worthy of her strength.

(p.s. if you are a supercorp supporter, who hates Mon-El but approaches it in a rational fashion, go you).

[lydia-yougowith-stiles]

My Top Ships of 2017

We all do it. You watch a show and automatically root for two people to be together whether it’s a “slow burn,” the introduction of a new character this season or between two people that barely share a plot line. It makes you continue to tune in episode after episode. Here is a list of my personal favorite ships for this year, 2017, from some of my favorite TV shows/series.

12. New Girl--Nick and Jess 

Just about that time when your DVR recording was about to cut off (because you know mine did right before they kissed) Nick and Jess finally met each other in the elevator of their apartment building. I’ve always really loved the two of them together and as the show’s fate hung in the balance I was ECSTATIC that they readdressed their feelings in the finale. I’m super excited it was picked up for another season (the last one), but I would have been perfectly happy with this ending for the couple. 

11. Bates Motel--Dylan and Emma

This couple is still one of my favorite reasons to watch Bates Motel. Yes, the show was a great re-imagining of a young Norman Bates and I loved the new take on familiar characters, but I also loved the new characters including Dylan and Emma. After season 2 I thought the two would be cute together. They had only a few story lines or rather scenes together, but my shipping brain was at it again. And then something magical happened! It’s like the writers could hear my thoughts and THEY GOT TOGETHER! And you know what? They were SUPER, BEYOND ADORABLE TOGETHER. In its final season there was a time jump and this happened:

Needless to say I was over the moon. I’m still shocked they actually became a couple because I thought it would only be in my head. Love their ending and the family unit they created with their baby girl. 

10. Anne with an E--Anne and Gilbert

The Netflix original series brought a bit of a darker spin on the lovable tale by L.M. Montgomery, but just like all of the previous adaptations of Anne of Green Gables this version did a fantastic job showing Anne and Gilbert’s relationship. While Gilbert isn’t introduced in the first episode of this series, I eagerly awaited seeing him on the screen and I was not disappointed in his interactions with Anne; from the spelling bee to the classic Anne breaking the slate over his head. Several characters could tell the chemistry between these two (including one of my favorite characters Jerry). Thank goodness they’ll be a 2nd season so we can see this relationship progress.

9. Chicago Med--Rhodes and Reese  

Okay, so they might not ACTUALLY be together...yet (get on that writers!), but this year I discovered the ship between Dr. Rhodes and Dr. Reese from NBC’s Chicago Med. And I didn’t realize how BIG the fandom is! It was all thanks to season 2′s episode: Monday Mourning:

There’s just something about these 2 that is just so great! Their chemistry--wow! They just don’t get enough scenes together. In the current 3rd season (that’s unfortunately only been 4 episodes before the hiatus) they’ve had a few moments together (aka conversations), but it’s not enough. They keep getting set up with different potential love interests, when the writers should notice they have a good thing going already! Okay, rant over. 

8. Victoria--Victoria and Albert

After I finished binge-watching the first season of Masterpiece’s Victoria a few weeks ago, I was so sad there wasn’t more to watch. I needed more Victoria and Albert in my life. (Good thing the next season airs here in the US in a few weeks!) Going in, I didn’t know much about Queen Victoria’s reign, but was interested to learn more. I was pleasantly surprised with how addicted I got to the show, especially once Albert was introduced. I love how much they love and care for each other and know that rocky roads could be ahead, but am excited to watch the journey unfold. 

7. Grimm--Nick and Adalind  

Another surprise pairing that I grew to LOVE! In Grimm’s second to last season, Adalind (ex-hexenbeast, turned human, then back--I think I got that right) was pregnant with Nick’s child. This “romantic” pairing could have been weird, but writers made it work and personally I fell in love with it. [It probably helped that Juliet was turning evil and then became Eve. Man if you listened to this and had no idea of the show it would all sound crazy.] The two made a great little family with son Kelly and I was shocked when Adalind’s daughter was fine with Nick. I really enjoyed these two together as the show came to a close earlier this year. Another piece of proof that sometimes two characters can be placed together after so many seasons and really work. But how could you not root for them with this adorable baby? 

6. Reign--Bash and Mary

Reign was one of my first binge-watches of the year. So, I know this couple might not [SPOILERS] end up together, but for me they were one of my TOP ships. Mary and Bash have a big relationship during the first half of season one and as much as I knew she’d wind up with Francis (the unfortunate ‘perks’ of watching an old show) I could only hope for all the Mash moments I could get. Mary was a hot commodity on the show and I think her and Bash were one of the best pairings. I’m happy with the way their story-line ended and liked Bash’s alluded help in season 4. Even though I would have loved to see him back on screen. This will forever be one of my favorite moments:

5. Arrow---Oliver and Felicity

After a roller coaster ride of a relationship, Oliver and Felicity are OFFICIALLY MARRIED!!! (I guess you can say twice?) It’s been a long time coming and I know not everyone is a fan of the IT girl and the emerald archer together, but I have liked the two of them since day 1. It was one of my shipping moments of ‘this probably will never happen, but a girl can dream.’ I watched that season 2 finale when Oliver tells Felicity Slade thinks he has the woman that I love, a DOZEN times! I took any moment I could get. While there’s moments I didn’t love on this long journey, I am happy to see the two of them together and I love Felicity and William’s relationship. I’m happy that this year’s crossover finally made it official. We deserve it!

4. The Vampire Diaries---Caroline and Klaus

KLAROLINE!!! I have been a fan of this ship for SOOO LONG! And just like any good ship you take anything you can get. This letter to Caroline at the end of the series finale of the Vampire Diaries is JUST what fans wanted. (Plus, we had a few great moments in the season too; from Caroline bringing her girls down to see Klaus, and I still think about their phone call, which might be from the previous season.) My fingers are crossed and double crossed for the final season of the Originals that we might see Caroline (maybe more than once?? Is that asking too much?) I mean Hope is at the school and even though Klaus can’t see her we must find some sort of loop hole. We’ll just have to tune in and watch!

3. Supergirl--Kara and Mon-El

Before the heartbreaking season 2 finale and Mon-El’s return this season (MARRIED!), we saw the growth of an extremely cute couple filled with bickering, banter, and plenty of couch sessions. I loved seeing Mon-El adapt to Earth customs and for Kara step up as a mentor. Early on I felt the pull between these two because their chemistry was fantastic (as shown by their real life off screen relationship). I am so happy I got the 2nd season on DVD for Christmas to relive all these great moments:

2. The 100--Bellamy and Clarke

Another ship I have shipped since episode 1. I’ve taken every little glance, conversation, touch. Being a Bellarke fan has taught you to not take anything for granted. (Especially when you have heard from the creator that they don’t intend for these two to end up together. Come on!) But season 4 gave us fans hope. They had several playback worthy moments and that finale! WOW! It’s the end of the world and he’s making jokes with her. They are both touching each other! (I still have chills just thinking about it!!) I can’t wait for this new season even though I know Bellamy is going to be with someone because they HATE us. In the meantime here are some big moments from last season!

AND THE NUMBER 1????

I wouldn’t be living up to this page if I didn’t make them my number 1 because they and we deserve it!

1. Teen Wolf--Stiles and Lydia

It was a LONG time coming, but our pick was endgame, just like we predicted all along! Because the seasons were broken up I’m going to refer to season 6 as a whole (we deserved a lot more Stydia in the series finale, but that’s a rant for another day....) Despite, Dylan O’Brien not being around for more episodes due to his filming schedule, I think they did a nice job including him in the part A season. Sure, when I was watching it live I was pissed, but watching the episodes back I appreciate the moments we did get Stiles and how they included him in the season. Lydia and Stiles are one of my favorite couples of all times. I love their development, the chemistry between the two actors and strive to create characters who have such a powerful friendship and relationship. Here are some of the best moments from this year.

So, that’s my top 12 ships of 2017! A lot of my top couples were from shows that ended in 2017, so I can’t wait to see what new ones I discover in 2018. Let me know if you have suggestions!

[ayalanaylo]

i’m really confused about the writing in supergirl?

and i’ve tried to google my confusion away, but it led me to places i didn’t intend to reach and tumblr searching is leading me to spoilers (which i don’t actually mind that much, but i’m here for meta answers that i don’t find).

mainly i’m just baffled by james olsen and all the romantic arcs.

i’m turning to tumblr’s fandom expertise for answers but i need you to understand my zero point ground before i ask any substantial q’s - i did not read any supergirl comics before (have read some dc in general and am a huge young justice fan, yes) so comparison to the source material means close to nothing for me. i generally don’t watch superhero related stuff. so why did i even start watching supergirl?

i’m just a Simple Gay™. yeah, i’ve been bombarded for the past year or so with supercop gifs and whatnot - and don’t get me wrong, i absolutely know i’m not going to get any gay content out of this show - but i have a bit of free time and thought i’d give this series a shot because it had wandered the realms of my mind for so long, thanks to tumblr supercop fanbase.

also regarding expectations - i did not expect this show to be a stellar example of top tier writing. i knew this is a light hearted, carefree show i’ll watch for simple fun, and that meets my expectations quite well. i’m not, per se, disappointed of the writing - not every damn piece of consumable media needs to be shakespearean poetry (and people who dismiss those things on the merit of that alone are missing so much, imo) - but it bothers me to the core when i recognize a poor written character being paraded on the plot lines. what i mean by that - a character that seems so meaningless still stands on a pedestal the creators of said character created for it. it’s like a curator putting up his son’s kindergarten crayon doodle on the fine arts exhibition - like, i get that you love your son, but my dude this is so out of place.

i’m 13 episodes in (more than half a season?) and i think this is really early to be frustrated with james olsen, given there are 3 seasons out, but i find myself not indifferent but annoyed with his character and how it affects this perplexed romantic hexagon arc. now, this is the time i worry the thought of ‘you’re only here for the gay’ to come up, so let me put up a disclaimer - the fact that i considered watching this show in the first place because of a non-existent gay ship doesn’t mean i don’t get to criticize an existent (and prominent, mind you) romantic arc. yes, i crave for lgbt content that is not complete crap in mainstream media, but there are so many written and showcased fictional couples i appreciate regardless the gender and\or sexual orientation of the characters involved. but it’s not ‘despite’, it’s because i’m a gay person who lives in a time of decent and even good lgbt romantic arcs representation that i find it very hard to be forgiving for poor written cis-het ones. it’s because lgbt people endured the years upon years of piss writing of lgbt characters in romantic arcs that were generally concluded with ‘this personality-less gay character 1′ and ‘this personality-less gay character 2′ should end up together on the merit of their dictated sexual orientation alone, that i find myself angry of lazy writing of cis-het ones that try to condition the viewer to ship two characters together because the script said they will touch hands and camera direction said to zoom on their face. this is not writing and properly developing a relationship between two characters this is directed instructions from the production down, as opposed to from the writing up.

after my supposed establishment of why i’m an Angry Lesbian™ about hetero ships writing i want to get to the nitty gritty - james olsen and the oh so many other problems with other characters.

i get characters crushing on each other, it’s got real cute potential, but can someone explain to me, enlighten me please - why do i get to live through cringe worthy anguished characters with a crush that doesn’t let me on anything other than ‘okay, i get that they’re attracted to each other’. what is their human connection based on and why the story didn’t bother showing me? because literally every scene he has with kara (that isn’t his given alone screen time or the professional ‘friends helping supergirl with mission’) is either him telling her about superman in the first episodes or him giving her this eyebrow-frown look while she talks. we know nothing about this character and his dialog doesn’t make him voluntarily informative about himself - how am i supposed to connect with him and understand that kara finds his personality endearing if i know zero facts about him as a human being? i know he’s a photographer and he knows superman. when lucy lane is introduced it’s because 1. she was there and he didn’t voluntarily let the viewers know who she is, and 2. she was there to serve the romantic weird entanglement and nothing more. what it did give us? some info about their brake up and life together - it is still nothing about james’ personality traits. i don’t want a sad back-story as much as i want a well rounded character in the present-story.

i was just brushing it off or groaning in frustration most of the time, but somewhere in the middle of season 1 (don’t remember exact episode) alex referred to james as kara’s family. that ticks so many tickey things in me - alex is her sister since she was 13, winn is her good friend for presumably all years she’s working at catco, and james arrived a week ago and suddenly he’s family because kara is crushing on him? no. no. no, story, you need to show me and explain to me in so much detail why a week-long crush is someone’s family along side an actual sister and a very good friend, you don’t tell me about it retrospectively.

and for the ever loving fuck why does he keep advancing on kara when he’s in a relationship with lucy? winn even acknowledges this verbally to his face (episode 12 i think) saying he can go get kara if he wanted to, that he just need to end things with lucy - yet he sees that as a sign to gather up the courage for romantic advancement right after the kara-adam brake up before talking with lucy? that’s a big nope.

and adam. oh, adam, sweet summer child. he really is just a harmless side character who crushes on kara, and she reciprocates, for about an episode and a half - and then comes the time in a superhero’s journey for ‘my identity is known and that puts people in my immediate surrounding in jeopardy’ - ... while she’s on a date with adam? don’t get me wrong, it’s all fine, but it’s just fine. why did this moment have to come when our main hero is in a barely second date relationship? the brake up literally meant nothing to me because we had no time to get to know adam. who is he? he was there to advance cat’s character, we didn’t learn anything about him in his screen time that wasn’t already told to us by cat. we know 1. what cat told kara (that was confirmed in his screen time), and 2. that he thinks kara is amazing. all he talks about is her, never himself. i know gurnisht about this character - why should i care about him when kara brakes things up?

and then we have *spooky voice* the friendzoned guy. first, can someone please make this phrase disappear from existence, yet second, while winn is written with some mistakes (using ‘friendzone’, kissing without confirming mutual feelings) - he is the most developed character of this disastrous romantic blah and he is written is such way that makes me care about him. kara doesn’t reciprocates his feelings? fine and valid, i just wish i could care about who she likes because they would be rounded developed characters as the ones she doesn’t.

in conclusion - please explain to me why should i ship a guy-character and a girl-character if their only connection is shared screen time and not the blessed character and relationship development a lot of lgbt ships get on mainstream media recently?

*banging pots and pans* I’M A GAY WHO’S PRO WELL DEVELOPED HETERO-SHIPS.

[superkaralovesfanfiction]

It’s New Years Eve and you watch the dancing and concerts below from your balcony at Catco. You’ve never been much of a partier, though you throw amazing parties when you host them, and you see your son, Carter, down in the plaza sitting on a sitting on a bench with a guy he likes, drinking a hot chocolate and laughing together.

You like this, watching from your empire, like somewhat of a hero yourself. It’s warm out despite the season, a brisk 14, and you’re robe keeps you toasty as you survey everything quietly, drinking you’re bourbon slowly.

You notice Kara, or no, you assume right now she’s Supergirl, in all her radiant colors, hanging around and talking to people in the plaza, having fun with everyone, and then she leaves abruptly again, and you see Lena Luthor for a moment, walking around talking to everyone.

Why are you not down there with them?

Once again, you admit you aren’t much of a partier, and even though you are technically hosting this one, CatCo plaza being yours, you have to admit to yourself, watching from up here is much like something a queen would do. And you own that title among everyone who knows you, so why shouldn’t you survey from you’re throne. It is yours, and yours alone.

Apparently, Supergirl seems to endlessly either forget or ignore that fact. You assume it’s the latter, and for what you know is the billionth time in the last month, you ignore the more than obvious tiny scar on her forehead that gives away her identity so so easily, and you smile as she floats a few feet from your railing, looking like a goddamn angel, and for a minute you actually believe in heroes and demons and aliens all at once. And you have no idea if that’s something you should believe in, how preposterous it sounds, but my god, it’s New Year’s Eve, and maybe this is the one time of the year to believe in angels. Because she certainly looks like one right now, and you put down your bourbon. You don’t need that now, and besides you think it might just be making you see and believe in some form of a god.

“Well good evening to you, Supergirl.” You smile gently as you speak, and she smiles in return, and that, the simple sight of her grin, as perfect as it is, makes you’re heart melt. Because you honestly don’t think yourself deserving of that radiant smile, let alone her company.

You may seem strong and powerful, and you are all that and more, but you don’t feel deserving of being... liked. Loved. You long learned that the only way to be who you are is to be strong and ruthless. That... leaves no room for love.

Affection and stuff like that, you don’t feel worthy, and surely your 3 divorces confirm that it’s in fact the truth.

But if it is, then why is this beautiful, unearthly creature spending so much of her free time to be near you? Not only as a hero does she spend time with you, but she seems to prefer working for you as an employee as well. You can’t fathom why, even as she hovers closer and silently lands on her boots beside you.

“Deciding to watch from you’re throne, are we?” She asks, and you’re heart skips a beat at the completely caring tone, and yet her voice keeps you up at night with a million fantasies.

It shouldn’t, keep you up like that. She might be an alien, and a superhero, which is part of every single one of those fantasies, but she is your assistant. You’re employee. This, these thoughts, are not right. That, doesn’t seem to stop your mind though, and even know, you try to hide the faint blush on your cheeks as she settles beside you to watch the plaza below.

“It’s quiet up here.” You say softly, and then turn the tables onto her, feeling way too close to the sun right now. You feel like Icarus, and she is simply blinding, and oh so inviting. It’s tempting, to you, and you fiercely ignore that. “What about you? They enjoy having you down there.”

“And you seem lonely.” The hero countered, and you smile despite yourself. “Or am I wrong?”

You sigh at her sweet words, always so caring and kind, and look at her directly. “No, you’re not wrong. Not completely. I am alone up here, but not particularly lonely. Maybe just a tiny bit.”

“I had a feeling.”

“How did you know?” You ask quietly, and she smiles her radiant grin again, and suddenly you feel like you’re freefalling. But you’re not scared, because you have a feeling she would catch you if you ever did.

“Mmm,” She brushes the question off as irrelevant, but answers anyway. “Little bird.”

“Little plane.” You counter immediately, and now you both grin, smiling at each other like fools.

You stand in silence for a few minutes, smiling at the plaza below, at this glittering city in the last 5 minutes of the year, and suddenly she offers you her hand, and steps closer to you, brushing up against your side. You don’t know why you accept, and right now you must be getting it from her, but you feel brave.

In this harsh world of pain and fear, someone needs to be brave. And you do feel brave, even as you link your fingers with hers, holding tightly. Maybe it’s time for someone to be themselves. If not all, then at least some. And right then, surprised as you are when Carter comes up beside you and takes your other hand, his friend coming up on Kara’s side to take hers, maybe everything has a purpose.

The bells ring, some kind of glitter that Winn set up goes everywhere, and you look at it just for a second before Kara pulls you in for a kiss, whispering a quiet 1 before kissing you. You sigh into it, wrapping you’re arms around her waist and shoulder, and when she leans back a few seconds later, you see Carter and his friend do the same. You look at Kara and smile, and she hugs you against her. Suddenly the boys are in your hug as well, like a group, and you grin. This is what it should be, and you smile at them all, closing your eyes into Kara’s neck, against her cape.

“Happy new year.” Kara whispers, and you smile. Yeah, you have a feeling it will be.

Happy new year everyone in the super cat fandom and beyond. I hope you’re new year is filled with sparkles and joy, excitement and love, and mostly, some good fulfilling supercat, because we need way more of that. Wishing you everything good-superkara

[rtarara]

On Supergirl and Homophobia

I am seeing a lot of posts saying how calling out what happened at SDCC as homophobic is ‘ridiculous’. I’d like to address first the scope of what homophobia is, then move onto how the incident was driven by homophobia. 

Definitions:

When you hear the term homophobia, it conjures up images of assault or of slurs being thrown out in the open. This is often not the case. Incidences of homophobia can range from the above to smaller instances that make you question whether of not you’re being ‘hysterical’ or ‘dramatic’ for thinking you’re being discriminated against or not. Merriam-Webster defines homophobia as: irrational fear of, aversion to, or discrimination against homosexuality or homosexuals. 

An example that I have in my own life is that my conservative Christian relatives often ‘forget’ to call and invite me to gatherings. Another is that they will avoid any talk saying I’m married. In these cases, it falls under aversion for not wanting to be around us because we’re gay, and discrimination for not treating our marriage as equal to that of my sister or cousins. It would be easy in the silence to say that these things were the result of personality conflicts or something in my own behavior (Was I too touchy? Did I say something that mentioned homosexuality or gay culture when they didn’t want to hear it?), but time, study and the support of allies in my family has helped me to see the behavior for what it is: homophobia. 

The Issue:

In the case of the SDCC video, we see Jeremy Jordan start off singing about the season and joking that hoover was the only thing that rhymed with Vancouver. It was fun and silly. He moved on to sing that Kara Met Lena and they were best friends. This was great. He then, unprompted, turned to the camera and shouted that they were only friends. By changing his focus to the camera, he shifted the address to the people watching and those who shipped Supercorp specifically. This is an audience of predominately young queer women. Melissa Benoist loudly joined in and Jeremy continued that they were not getting together and they were only friends. The rest of the cast present was laughing. 

The cast gleefully mocked and dismissed a group of young queer fans. By addressing them directly, this action was a form of silencing and bullying. Part of his message was to shut up about queer things because they won’t be canon. It was a JOKE to think they could be.

The greater societal context of that is that they won’t be canon, BECAUSE it’s two women. The level of joy in the mockery was really a way of distancing themselves from gay people and othering them. This is an act of homophobia because wlw (supercorp supporters) were singled out for mockery and silencing. It had a profound negative effect on a lot of people. This is a natural human reaction to being mocked, especially for disenfranchised groups because it is devaluing those who are already devalued by society.

During the recap they also failed to mention the canon lesbian storyline, which was one of the bigger ones for the year, lending to the overall impression that gay people were not important or welcome or worthy of any sort of inclusion. 

The interviewer spoke that, “Any show like this naturally has such a fandom that there’s the natural shipping that goes on.” He gestures to Melissa and Katie and says ‘your two characters, you know about this...” They joked about having no idea while Mechand was like ‘I know about this.” Between that and the singing, this shows that the fandom is one that the show is aware of, members of which (young queer girls), they have been seeing online and at various events. They have a context for who they are talking about. 

Jeremy then took over and said that he felt like he was going to get destroyed, Melissa said something along the lines of, “Maybe, yes” and Jeremy gave a joking ‘I’m sorry’ and said “I just debunked Supercorp live.” Melissa said, “That’s pretty brave.” 

Yes, Supercorp is a vocal fandom. It’s a large fandom, but calling it brave to mock a group of wlw publicly because they might be called out on their homophobia speaks to the self-congratulatory martyrdom of those who speak out against gay marriage and then point out how ‘cruel’ gay people are when they get blowback for it. It’s a lousy thing to do and it serves a greater homophobic purpose as setting up wlw as the ones perpetrating bigotry and ‘forcing their beliefs on people’.  

The interviewer asked if they were caught off guard by fans seeing things that might be there or could be there and what they made of it at this point. 

Melissa said that, ‘It was surprising, not what Katie and I expected to say the least.” She looked very uncomfortable at the prospect of a character she plays being perceived as queer, but did not say anything further negatively. 

Katie was very affirming/not at all uncomfortable. She spoke about how she often plays character with that subtext and she thought this time that it wasn’t there, but, “Wow I was wrong, apparently.” She went on to say that they’d talked about it and was adamant about how wonderful it was that people could take away so many things from the art that they created—that anyone could read into and see anything and that was what THEY saw in it, then to take that away. This was wonderful and a great example of being a great ally. Melissa did nod along at this point as Katie tried to elevate the conversation.  

Chris broke in and said, “Sexuality is all about others perceptions of yours.” He tried to cover it by saying, “That was sarcasm.” This was really a particularly vicious jab because what he was implying was that it’s terrible of gay people to see themselves in this characters because they’re straight. It implies that by not seeing them as 100% straight, queer people are invalidating their (the fictional character’s in this case) straight sexuality and that is wrong. He is saying that a queer reading of the text has no value. It is homophobic because it devalues queer people and plays into a heterosexist world view that because something seems straight it CAN’T be queer.  

Jeremy played the, “I went to musical theater school. I know all about other people’s perceptions of sexuality.” As to say that being perceived as gay was a negative experience that he knew a lot about. 

There was a lot to unpack in a relatively short interaction, but I hoped this helped explain to some extent. There is also the fact the wlw representation has historically been treated as a joke, ratings stunt, or way to titillate straight men. Mocking what would be a really healthy ship based on mutual support as some sort of lunacy is incredibly harmful. 

A Few Themes:

1. It wasn’t that supercorp was gay. It was just that those fans are annoying/intense.

There is definitely a section of fans who is too intense and lacks boundaries and manners. I’ve seen this section of fans in a lot of fandoms, both in wlw ships and in sci-fi fandom in general. It does not make it right, but young wlw fans are the ones being singled out AS A GROUP for it. This is really common with minorities and it in no way excuses degrading them because they are girls who like girls. Mocking a group of queer people and making them a punchline is not an appropriate response to this. 

2. Well Eliza says things about Bellarke so it wasn’t just Supercorp.

The possible Supercorp relationship in no way degrades either of the characters or a marginalized group of people (as is the case when Eliza speaks about Bellarke). She has also, to my knowledge, never directly mocked those shippers in song. There is no history of straight ships being mocked or derided. This is an apples to oranges comparison. 

3. They were shitty to Rahul so they deserve it. People are just responding.

There were some very shitty things said to that man and he didn’t deserve it. Some were from Supercorp shippers and some were from people mocking Supercorp shippers (the tweet that he retweeted and called out was mocking the wlw fans by being shitty to him). This is why it was completely acceptable for him to talk about the intensity of the Supergirl fandom and even Supercorp. He didn’t mock anyone and people were not mad at him, they just wished that the hate was less visible and that things had gone down differently.

That doesn’t mean that the cast has a free ticket to mock wlw shippers.

4. It’s just a fanon ship, so they’re sick of being asked about it. They are being too pushy.

Content creators decided to tap into fandom as a revenue stream and way to increase ratings/merchandise sales. I think this shift started around Twilight and the Jacob vs Edward debates. Content creators encourage shipping to promote sales. It’s not altruistic. They almost always leave any mention of queer ships out. Queer people have stopped accepting that because they are less afraid than they used to be. It’s actually pretty brave to ask in the vast flurry of Peeta vs Gale, to declare yourself Team Joanna and ask about that. It isn’t rude to be gay and engage in the same way as straight shippers do. It isn’t rude to see your ships as equally valid. There are those who take it too far in all aspects of shipping, but gay people aren’t terrible for pushing for representation. 

I think it would be more productive to ask why actors were so bothered by the idea of a main character being bisexual that they decided to mock a large swath of their fanbase. 

5. They didn’t mean it. They have done X, Y, Z things for gay people in the past.

Doing something homophobic, doesn’t mean you are strictly a giant homophobe. Everyone is a little homophobic in the way that everyone is a little racist. Growing up in a heterosexist society does a lot of damage. What matters is learning and moving on. I’m going to give Jeremy a chance to show change. Good allies listen when they’re told that they’ve made a mistake. The rest of the cast has not apologized yet, but if they can do so meaningfully and show change as well, then that would be for the best. 

6. People are Overreacting

You don’t get to decide how people feel about being mocked for their sexuality. They are not being awful for posting things like this, calling out bad actions and asking for change. They aren’t even wrong for saying that they no longer wish to watch the show or interact with a certain actor or actress.  

You CAN call out individuals if they are using hateful language themselves, as always, but you can’t lump all the hurt wlw shippers together in one boat and say negative things about them. 

[emo00skid]

A 2AM RANT ON SUPERGIRL

Okay so I’ve just came into the Supergirl fandom and I gotta tell you something. I’ve been in multiple fandoms before and I shit you not, antis are so full of themselves. I’ve heard so many hate towards mon el and I literally went into the series thinking “oh this dude is the bad guy bcs half of the fandom hates him” and I fucking waited for the big betrayal. And then I watched and found out yall hate him for not telling the truth about his ugly past??!?!?!! And you ship a girl who lied about her come out (WHICH SHE LIED BCS SHE WAS ASHAMED OF HER PARENTS -OH WAIT THAT SOUNDS FAMILIAR), cheated on her ex GF and yelled at Alex for wanting Valentines? AND you forgave Mgann for killing innocents and regretting it?? Like?? You guys are such hypocrites. Mon El was ashamed of his past. He couldn’t stand to think of what he’s done, he didn’t go back to Daxam where he could live luxuriously as a prince. Just bcs Mgann decided to leave and lead a rebellion resistance against the white Martians and Mon El didn’t leave and KILL HIS FREAKING MOTHER, you don’t forgive him??? WOW. He literally was ready to go back and change the system bcs he thought Kara wouldn’t be safe. He legit proved himself to be noble time and time again, literally saved Kara a couple of times, even saved her by going with his toxic parents, heartbroken and just praying for something minimally good to come out of it (to change Daxam). So yall antis think you can judge people bcs what? You’ve never done any mistakes in your lives?? Of course he’s not a superhero yet, but he’s trying so hard to be bcs he now knows the right things to do. This show is really trying super hard to make the stories of superhumans relate to us by having them flawed and forgiven after they’ve tried so hard to change. I look up to the show BECAUSE of that sole reason, to know I can be forgiven for my past and I am worthy of happiness too if I work hard for it. And you guys are just gonna condemn the writers for giving out that kind of hope to people? And are you guys seriously gonna say “he’s nt even a hero he’s saved 0 ppl, kara should be with James” PLEASE how many times have Iris saved ppl other than pushing them out of the way of danger? How many times have Jane, Pepper, Lois and all the other love interests been perfect heros? They don’t have to be superheroes to be with a superhero. He loves her and he makes her so so happy. That’s what matters. And before you antis talk about how Kara doesn’t look at him like she looked at James, NEWS FLASH people don’t fluster and blush around ppl they love, that’s called having a crush. Look at westallen look at scallison. When ppl are in love, they’re comfortable enough to cry on their shoulders and eat breakfast together every morning without worrying about bacon greese and pot sticker stains, not mumble, blushing and fidget with their glasses whenever they’re around. She loves him. She literally cried several times for losing him. Yall antis should back off and pretend you want Kara to be happy for once.

Ps: don’t misunderstand my sentence on Maggie and Alex, I love them together bcs THEY MAKE EACH OTHER HAPPY AND THEIR PAST DOES NOT DEFINE THEM.

Pps: Lena is one of Kara’s closest friends, Kara isn’t gay, I love the dynamic duo and I hope they could be the next Kal El x Lex (without the insane sociopath part). Just as you won’t force Alex to be straight, don’t force a straight character to be gay. Respect all preferences.

[alisonblowingthatwhistle]

I am only in season 2 of Supergirl and can I just say this Mon-El Supergirl love story is capital Z lazy. How many times do we have to see the same tired, played out "they're from two different worlds" storyline where clearly they are too different and one is obviously settling. Maybe it gets better but I see why so many people ship supergroup. Lena is intelligent, clever, and a personality more worthy of Kara's time. Mon-El is the stereotypical "relaxed," teach an uptight woman how to let loose male love interest. Written well this can work but it's lazy and unoriginal. It is annoying constantly seeing women used as motivation for men's character development. Mon-El wants to better himself solely for Kara. Not for himself. Not because he genuinely cares about the world or has his moral compass aligned with Kara's. Wanting to better yourself for someone else isn't a bad thing but when two characters are so different I feel it borderline the "He/she can change" trope. 13 episodes in and this relationship feels as forced as Mon-El's sad attempt to be a hero. Just saying. Honestly, besides the fact that it was just plain unnecessary, I feel like that's what made the casts ridicule so upsetting. The fandom knows Kara deserves better.

[thatsjustsupergirl]

enchntedapril ha respondido a tu publicación “ur post about fic & racism in the supergirl fandom really got me...”

I get the parts about Jimmy vs Mon-El, but the rest? Not so much. Since when has Sanvers NOT been huge? I see tons and tons and TONS of Sanvers fics, and let's keep in mind that Alex is not the main character. I don't know what you're talking about re:Floriana being or not being white having anything to do with her popularity. In fact the only criticism I saw was, as you say, about Floriana not being ENOUGH of a WOC. Roulette fic? M'gann??? Seriously?

Why the heck would there be Roulette fics? Perhaps the reason has less to do with race and more to do with the fact that she was a relatively poorly written character in two measly episodes? Likewise, M'Gann was never a main character, and if anything, I would pair her with J'onn, but the fandom (at least as represented on AO3) seems much more devoted to wlw pairings.

Personally, I'm a huge Sanvers shipper, as well as Kara/Lena, Kara/Cat and canon endgame Kara/James. I'm not even sure why any of this is an argument. Pairings between characters who rarely have shared screen time are simply never going to be as popular as those that do.

Also, where is Maggie being demonized within the fandom?? Apparently I'm blissfully unaware...

Sooooooo lemme kick this off with a seemingly-unrelated story, since “well-meaning” skeptics like you are the reason I started doing all this data-tracking in the first place:

Several years ago I took my daughter on vacation to a country where I used to live, speak the language fluently, and racially blend in. We went out to dinner the first night and the waiter didn’t give me my change when I paid the bill, then seemed annoyed when I asked for my money. It was a holiday and busy, so I shrugged it off. 

Except then it happened again the next morning at breakfast. And then again at lunch, where the waiter tried to give me the bill for another table that had ordered multiple bottles of alcohol and some seafood platters, when all I’d bought was two sandwiches and a Coke. At this point I was getting pissed off, because what the hell, I speak fucking Spanish and in ten years of traveling to this region I’d never had this happen before.

The next day, all of these mysterious “accidents” with trying to rip me off miraculously stopped. And when I figured out why, I got even more pissed off. Know what happened? My daughter had started wearing her sunglasses and people couldn’t see her eyes anymore. (She’s Asian. I’m not.)

Like. Whether it was malicious or not, people were straight-up ignoring my visibly local-ass face, hair, and accent like I wasn’t even there and fixating on the fact that my kid looked foreign, then treating us as they would have if she had been alone. That is how implicit racism works: there are always plenty of ~reasonable excuses~ for it when you’re not the one it’s happening to.

So congratulations, just because *you personally* don’t perceive fandom racism on your very narrowly-curated tumblr dashboard doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist -- or that you have any right to dismiss the hundreds of other people who see it for what it is.

Also, I am confused as to where you think anyone is arguing, or that this is even something to argue about. It is a fact that implicit racism affects fan behavior and preferences, just like it affects our behavior everywhere else. @diversehighfantasy made some excellent additions to my post with examples of how this behavior plays out across multiple fandoms in multiple ways. There is plenty of literature on this problem of racism by fans within the field of fan studies. None of this is an opinion. It’s a fact.

And the fact that you’re so quick to defend the disparity by a) scoffing off the idea that anyone might find Roulette shippable in the first place; b) suggesting that M’gann’s relative lack of screentime is the only factor explaining the general lack of interest in her; and c) throwing up “but everyone’s into femslash” as an excuse for the lack of black het pairings when I’ve spent the better part of a year and a half tracking this fandom and can tell you, with detailed references, that you are wrong ... says a whole lot about you, none of it flattering.

It also says that you don’t follow my tumblr, because I don’t write things I can’t back up. And thanks for telling me there’s lots of femslash like I don’t already know.

Let’s go through this step by step, shall we?

“I see tons and tons and TONS of Sanvers fics, and let's keep in mind that Alex is not the main character”

1) High five for your use of hyperbole, but here are the actual AO3 numbers from March:

2) Despite how hard CW keeps trying to change this, Alex is still the co-lead of the show. She has the most screentime after Kara. The amount of fics featuring each of them as a romantic lead is roughly proportional to their levels of screentime. (49% less time vs. 44% less fic)

3) There was a mass migration of queer fans explicitly because of Alex’s coming out arc that inflated the interest in her character. How do I know this was an inflation? Because S1 fans did not move away from their old ships -- output for every other femslash ship has stayed consistent since S1 ended. (Supercat is at 1/2 scale so it fits on the graph.)

“I don't know what you're talking about re:Floriana being or not being white having anything to do with her popularity.”

You say this like I didn’t explicitly note in my original post that I had the data to back myself up re: the drop in interest in Sanvers. Here you go:

This graph is on a log scale, aka it’s showing growth exponentially so it’s easier to make comparisons and see trends. Sanvers, when it first appeared onscreen, had the quickest growth of any Supergirl ship to date. And yet, there’s a sharper-than-expected publication slowdown throughout November of 2016.

That’s because this appeared on October 26th:

So, yes, the race/ethnicity clusterfuck did have something to do with the popularity of the ship. People backed off writing the pairing. I mean, I can explain further why the legitimate criticism from latina fans re: Kreisberg’s racist assumption was advantageous to racist people uncomfortable with Maggie’s clearly nonwhite skin color, but this post is long enough as it is. Moving on...

“Roulette fic? M'gann??? Seriously? Why the heck would there be Roulette fics?”

Gee, I don’t know, enchantedapril, maybe because there are published romantic and/or smutfics for all of the following:

Kara and Max Lord

Kara and Livewire

Kara and Silver Banshee

Alex and Max Lord

Alex and Silver Banshee

Alex and Cat Grant

Cat and Livewire

Cat and Astra

Lucy and Alura

J’onn and Jim Harper

J’onn and Clark

J’onn and Mon-El

Kara and Eliza

Kara and Non

Kara and Clark

Assorted threesomes of the above

Come on. Even your dismissiveness at the idea that people might see Roulette as desirable or interesting reeks of prejudice. And your incredulity over anyone thinking M’gann might be a ship-worthy partner is just gross. To put your comments into perspective: by 2x12, which aired in February, M’gann had racked up more screentime than Lena. And yet, by the end of January there were exactly four shipfics featuring M’gann on AO3 (zero of which included J’onn), compared against 1162 for Lena.

And to counter arguments about screentime proportions making a difference: Alex has had more scenes & time with M’gann than with Lena, yet there are 11 Alex/Lena fics and zero Alex/M’gann ones. There are also more femslash fics about Alex and her friend from high school than there are about Lena & Veronica Sinclair.

So, nice try.

“Pairings between characters who rarely have shared screen time are simply never going to be as popular as those that do.”

Ah, yes, and this is why Lucy Lane and Kara’s dead mother, who have never met onscreen, have more shipfics about them than multiple WOC from Season 2 who directly interact with main characters. This is why Karolsen flatlined for months, but Karamel took off like a rocket, and why there’s more fic of Winn & Mon-El than Winn & James. Like, if you’re going to make this basic argument, maybe crawl out of your Tumblr bubble a little more often, because multiple people in the fandom have started researching this shit specifically to refute people like you who insist that we’re exaggerating or imagining things. There is literally more shipfic on AO3 about Kara's terrorist uncle than there is about M’gann and anyone.

“Also, where is Maggie being demonized within the fandom??”

I don’t read a lot of Supercorp, which is where it tends to crop up most often, but here’s one example (in which the OP respectfully listened to people’s concerns and reworked their idea).

“Apparently I'm blissfully unaware...”

tl;dr: yay for being ignorant?