#i am not paying THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS to be in the fucking school play

[boomerang109]

one of the major reasons i keep giving myself (other than it being senior year and school being important) for not dropping out is that i am so excited for my school play and if i drop out i can’t do it. well rumor has it my school is being stupid so i might not be able to anyway

[winderlylandchime]

3/3 ‘BRI BRI!! He’s quoting the movie, is that his favorite? i do that too with First Wives Club!! *randomly starts quoting it* I had guests! Who Guns N roses?! We should watch that. Its one of my favorite movi-ITS JUSTIN!! why is Justin here? Poor Bria- FOR A CHANGE? Fuck you Justin, that’s rude. See?! That comment even hurt Brian’s feelings. Why did he feel like he has to say he’s alone? HMMM. Why Brian? Why did you have to make it clear that no one else is here but you two? CANT ACCEPT WH- FUCK ME SIDEWAYS AND CALL IT PARKOUR BRIAN PAID HIS TUITION! HE STILL PAID FOR IT?! FOR A NEW SCHOOL YEAR? EVEN THO THEY BROKE UP AND HE CHEATED! HE STILL PAID THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS? I wouldn’t give him a penny. WAIT LET ME CALM DOWN…okay, I’m calm. doesn’t Justin still owe him for stealing his credit card? This dude is in more debt by 20 than every other American. A DEAL IS A DEAL. He cares about him even now. He wants his to do good! He wants hi-HE HAS RAGE, HE PACKED HIS COMPUTER?! That he paid for?! I AM SO NOT CHILL! FUCK BEING CHILL! CHILL IS IN MY REARVIEW MIRROR so let me get this hetero *turns to paused Brian on tv* once again, sorry, so 1) he paid for his tuition ahead of time just cause he knew he cant afford it 2) he packed his computer that he bought cause he knows he needs it and 3) he mentioned rage.. and all those little shits swear he doesn’t care, i mean sure he hides it but can you blame him? He was raised in a house that was on fire with parents that purposely threw gasoline on it. So obviously he would hide the glass of water that would keep him alive (i swear i didnt move a single muscle while he talked) dont give me that look! Everything makes sense in here *points several times to his head and accidentally pokes himself in the eye* ow..you didn’t see that.’ ‘I am still confused about Emmett and Ted. I really like them as friends and i don’t want this to ruin it but if they stay cool like they were before, i will love it. But please stop the lover thing’ ‘OH OH OH PLEASE TELL ME THAT THE CELLO FUCKER FINDS OUT BRIAN IS STILL PAYING!!! Please make me happ- Oh justin and Mike, is it weird that i kind of like Michael this episode..I can’t remember if he pissed me off or not, so i guess he’s cool right now, oh he’s here for the money. Get that money!….why is JT playing a trumpet? wait I focused on the wrong thing, he listened to Brian! Brian said ONE thing and Justin went “yup. On it boss” A DEAL IS A DEAL THATS WHAT BRIAN SAID! HE LISTENED! oh brian looks bad. He literally looks like he’s going to overdose. Is he gonna drop on the ground? He looks bad. And people look at this *waves to brian* and say he’s fine? I swear the only reason they thinks so is cause they have never actually seen this man be fine. So they think THAT is his fine. I need to go get some air, i am very upset about this’ He then proceeded to go outside and dragged a chair in the middle of the yard where he then ended up falling asleep. I would call it progress but at this point I know better.

I love the First Wives Club “I have feelings…I’m an actress, I have all of them!”

FUCK ME SIDEWAYS AND CALL IN PARKOUR - I’m going to propose to your brother before this is done.

A DEAL IS A DEAL - so fucking romantic. Sorry Mr. “I don’t Do Romance” Kinney.

“He was raised in a house that was on fire with parents that purposefully threw gasoline on it. So obviously he would hide the glass of water that would keep him alive.”

“He was raised in a house that was on fire with parents that purposefully threw gasoline on it. So obviously he would hide the glass of water that would keep him alive.”

Guys, gals, non-binary pals - standing ovation for Brother Anon. HE GETS IT. He gets our beloved Brian. Our trauma onion. He honestly gets him better than the writer who penned the email explaining the shit show that was S5 gets him ( @sophsun1 linked to it ) HE IS ONE OF US.

Wait I focused on the wrong thing - a deal is a deal that’s what Brian said! He listened! Brian is not done raising this kid.

“And people look at this *waves to Brian* and say he’s fine? I swear the only reason they think so is cause they have never actually seen this man be fine. So they think THAT is his fine.”

I am once again saying that your brother gets him better than the writers of the fucking show.

[skarlette1]

Pearl Girls: Trustee's Ball Buster

–Part of the Pearl Girls series, picking up very shortly after “Trustee’s Balls to the Wall”

“I’m so glad my lectures will be paying off for you tonight, Alexis,” Dean Dickinson said as he led me downstairs into the private rooms hidden beneath the historic administration building of Skarlette City University—the domain where faculty, staff, and students were not allowed. We passed through two cypher locks and a retina scanner. For a moment, it felt more like a supervillain lair I might have faced in my days as the heroine Argent, rather than a sub-basement of a campus building frequented by Alexis Ames, PhD. These pearls around my neck did more than mark me as a Pearl Girl, they opened up entire vistas of erotic adventure!

“Your feedback on my … oral examinations will certainly serve me well tonight, Dean,” I said.

“You can thank me later, in my office,” the Dean chuckled. “More than that, I’ve used my considerable influence to secure you a reprieve from whatever retrograde Pearl Girl rule has kept you from your climax these last few months. I firmly believe that even for those of your … calling, the most sexually exciting partner is the one enjoying herself. The trustees will enjoy you and you will enjoy yourself tonight. Won’t you, Alexis?”

Despite the Dean’s request, Mistress Treasure had not actually granted me that reprieve from orgasm denial. She’d ordered me to fake as many climaxes as would please the trustees. If I actually came, I’d never get a chance to kiss her unspeakably luscious lips. Of course, I couldn’t let the Dean know that where it mattered, he had no influence. He was a pearl-level member of Club Absinthe and needed to be pampered in every way, especially his ego. “I am certain tonight will be truly exceptional. Thank you so much, Dean.”

The Dean led me through a crowded wine cellar laden with expensive vintages. At the back, the pull of a concealed handle caused a section of wall to swing open and reveal a secret passage. From within, I could hear the chattering of deep male voices and the echoes of wanton female moans. At the end of the hallway was another hidden door. Within was a large smoking room with dark paneling, chairs and benches upholstered in black leather. More than a dozen men mingled in the space—all of them old, all of them white, all of them with a beautiful college girl servicing their cock.

Not just any college girls. Nearly every member of the Chloros Neriada Sorority—except for sorority president and irresistible sex goddess Treasure Tartarus—was kissing, cuddling, sucking, or being fucked by the school trustees. A room full of Pearl Girls meant that the trustees wanted for nothing. Their every lascivious desire was fulfilled by eager girls a third of their age.

One of them caught sight of me. “Look what the Dean brought us, fellas. Professor Pearl Girl is here!”

While I hand never been one to seek out the spotlight, being a Pearl Girl had taught me how to play to an audience. Cocking my hip, I smirked at the trustees. “I hope you boys have boned up on the material. I give a very thorough oral examination!”

Over the next few hours, I became a dervish of debauchery, catering to every fantasy the trustees had nurtured about a sexy college professor. One produced a pair of glasses he wanted me to wear so he could cum all over them. Another wanted me to gaze deeply into his eyes while I recited Rosetti’s Goblin Market while he fingered me, so he could watch me fake an orgasm as I gasped out “Eat me, drink me, love me.” Two other trustees wagered ten thousand dollars on who could make me cum quickest on his dick (I faked it for both, but a little later for the one that ruined my French twist by trying to pull my hair).

Perhaps the strangest request was the trustee in his eighties who carefully unfolded a handwritten essay that had to be a half-century old. He lay back and wanted me to ride his Viagra-hardened cock while I read the the teacher’s comments on what must have been his college economics homework. I gasped and moaned as I read the faded red ink in flawless penmanship. While his economics professor had given his homework an A+, I could barely award his cocksmanship a D. Regardless, I faked two climaxes by the time he reached his own.

Faking an orgasm when you were truly, deeply desperate for release was quite difficult. The more I moaned, the better my body felt. The more I screamed, the hotter my actual desires burned. The more I writhed and squealed “I’m cumming for you, sir,” the more my actual orgasm threatened to overwhelm me with pleasure too powerful to deny.

But Mistress Treasure’s rules allowed no exceptions: No orgasm tonight.

By the time most of the trustees had sated their appetites and drifted to sleep, I was acting more by habit than by any plan to please them. I was so busy sucking whatever dick still had some firmness to it that I didn’t even hear the hidden door open. The trustee whose dick I was sucking gave a shout. “Hey! No women allowed in here!”

A feminine voice replied, “Really? Tell that to the exploited young female tickling her tonsils with your dick, Connor.” Even from behind me, with my face pressed against Connor nest of gray pubic hair, something about her voice sounded familiar.

“Unless you’re here as entertainment, Lyta, you need to leave.”

Lyta? Behind me was Hipolyta Leasch, the woman I’d humiliated just a few hours ago by all but bragging about how I’d seduced her husband. I slowed the bobbing of my head so that this trustee could focus on getting rid of her, rather than relishing my hot, wet mouth.

Before he could push the issue, Lyta Leasch responded. “I’m a trustee of this school, Connor. Same as all of you. My family foundation and I have given millions to this school’s endowment. I have as much right to the perks of being a trustee as anyone. … Unless you really want to face a discrimination lawsuit that will drag all these student extracurricular activities out into the open?”

Connor pushed my face away from his shaft. “There’s no need to get catty, Lyta. It’s just that you haven’t been down here since you got married.”

“Wedded bliss is overrated,” she growled.

“We all learn that sooner or later. If we’d known you were coming, the Dean could have made arrangements. As it is … well, it’s just that we only ordered Pearl Girls for entertainment.”

Lyta laughed. “Don’t worry, Connor. I’ve had my fill of dick for a lifetime. I’d much rather unleash my lust upon one of these high-spirited young ladies. Which of you little sluts wants to play with Lady Lyta?” Her voice came closer. Still on my knees, I tried to crawl away as discretely as possible. Hoping to avoid her attention, I ducked around the far side of a divan …

Only to find myself facing a full-length mirror.

In reflection, Lyta Leasch gazed down on me with a cruel twinkle in her eye. “Alexis Ames? What a surprise to see you here. Faculty aren’t normally allowed to even know about these little get-togethers, let alone participate.”

Maybe I could spin some sort of story to salvage what vestige of dignity I had left? Worth a shot. Rising to my feet, I turned to face her with chin held high, despite my cum-spattered nakedness. “That’s a funny story, Lyta. It all started—”

“She’s not faculty tonight, Lyta. She’s a Pearl Girl,” Connor bellowed. “Damn fine cocksucker, too.”

“A Pearl Girl? She’s here to entertain the trustees?” Lyta said in a tone of mock-surprise, cruelty never leaving her eyes. “Is this true, Alexis?”

I knew my necklace wouldn’t allow me to lie to a direct question from a trustee, not tonight when she was effectively a pearl-level member. Maybe I could evade? “Don’t you find the issue of identity to be one of endless nuance, Lyta? One might say that—Oooohhhh!”

Lyta’s sharp nails seized my nipples, jolts of burning pain-pleasure surging through my body. I’d barely seen her take a step toward me, but now her lips were at my ear. “It’s a simple question, Alexis. Are you here to entertain the trustees?”

The intense sensation wouldn’t let any words past my lips but the truth. “Y-yes, I am. Aaahhh!”

“Good. You’re going to be very entertaining to me, you fucking home-wrecking slut!” She slapped me across the face. The truth of her words added a sting to my cheek that I hadn’t felt in battles against super-powered foes. I had destroyed this woman’s life and now I was at her mercy. There was a certain dark kismet to the whole thing.

“Let’s just have a look at what kind of trash tempted my pathetic husband. Hands behind your head, Pearl Girl.”

“Of course, Lyta,” I said, raising my arms and lacing my fingers behind my neck.

Smack! She slapped my naked tit. “Don’t speak to me like we’re friends, Alexis. I know your Pearl Girl rules. You have to treat me with respect.”

How could she know tonight’s rules? Was she bluffing? I couldn’t chance calling that bluff. “Yes, ma’am. I’m sorry, ma’am.”

“Not yet, Lexi, but you will be sorry before I’m done with you.” She looked toward the nearest sorority sister.

Mandy was tucking a blanket around one of the trustees. He’d just emptied his balls inside her and nodded off for a post-orgasmic nap. Lyta pulled Mandy up by the ear. “He’s got no more need of you, Pearl Girl. You’re with me now. Get me out of this dress.” Mandy scurried behind the surprisingly kinky archaeologist and busied herself with the clasps.

Lyta glared at me. “How did you do it, Lexi? Did you get him drunk? Read him Shakespearean sonnets? Or did you just show Grant your pathetic tits and he was so tired of fucking his fist that he leapt at the first trim on offer?”

While I couldn’t lie to her, I could spin the truth in the most hurtful way possible. “Grant came to me. He found out that I was a Pearl Girl. Frankly, I don’t think he could help himself.”

Lyta scowled at me as Mandy helped her step out of the red silk gown. Underneath, Lyta wore an ornate black leather corset with matching panties and tall black leather boots. “You Pearl Girls think you’re so irresistible, don’t you? Think you’re the sexiest thing mankind has ever seen?”

“We do leave a trail of very, very satisfied pearl-level members in our wake … and the occasional neglected English nerd.”

Lyta unlaced one of the many leather cords out of her corset. “The more venom you spit at me, Lexi, the more you’ll need to swallow. I know your weak points and will strike them relentlessly.” She walked behind me as she spoke, fiddling with my wrists and brushing my hair away from my neck.

“Lexi, turn and face the mirror,” she said. I had little choice but to do so. “You’ll notice that I’ve wrapped a thick cord of leather around each of your wrists. I slipped the other end of each loop underneath this outre pearl necklace you’re so fond of. If you move your hands it will be a contest of strength between that thick, seasoned leather cord and the soft gold chain links holding your necklace together. My money’s on the leather, but if you want to test it, go right ahead. I’m sure your Pearl Girl mistress will be so happy if you let her precious pearls scatter across the floor. Unless you think you can prove me wrong, Lexi?”

Studying the reflection, I could tell immediately that she was correct. If I moved my hands away from the back of my head, it would be my precious pearl necklace that would pay the price. Damaging the necklace in any way would surely end my life as a Pearl Girl. A sense of dread buzzed from my neck to my toes. I moved my hands lower, to the base of my neck, to lessen any stress on my necklace. “No.… I mean, no, ma’am.”

Her eyes glinted evilly. “Look at that! When I put something you care about at stake, suddenly you learn how to treat me with respect. Too bad for you that you didn’t respect my marriage, Lexi.” Without breaking eye contact with me, she snapped at Mandy. “Little slut, fetch me that leather case and then lie on your back on the floor, your head between Lexi’s feet.”

Mandy hurried to comply with Lyta’s orders. Soon she was looking up at my naked body from below.

“Lexi, squat down so your little friend can lick your filthy, cheating little twat.”

“Yes, ma’am.” I lowered myself over Mandy’s face, careful to keep my balance. I couldn’t risk toppling over. Any instinctive movement to catch myself with my hands would end my life as a Pearl Girl, and destroy my only hope of ever kissing Mistress Treasure Tartarus.

“Little slut, start eating Lexi’s worthless snatch and don’t stop until I tell you to. Do everything you can to make her cum.”

Mandy’s tongue was as talented as any Pearl Girl’s, nuzzling and nibbling my sensitive folds with great skill. Every lick sent a wave of bliss threatening to overwhelm me. Mandy didn’t know that Mistress Treasure had forbidden me from cumming tonight. A trustee had ordered her to make me cum and she was doing her best. I’d need to put on a good performance to fake my climax to Lyta. I let out a blissful moan that was only a bit louder than my pleasure demanded.

Lyta opened the leather case she’d brought. “Earlier tonight, Lexi, you asked if I had found any fertility statues on my dig. I didn’t, but what I did unearth is far more valuable.” From the case, she drew out a wooden rod, perhaps twelve inches long. Its surface had been intricately carved in an undulating, abstract pattern that almost seemed to pulse in her hand. The surface had been stained a deep red color, with a rich patina that attested to its age. Strips of dark leather, obviously new, were woven around each end, with a single, ragged strand of ancient horsehair dangling from one end. “My primary research interest is in an ancient warlord that most scholars consider mythical. What sources we have refer to him as the Lord of Rutting, or the Sovereign of Copulation, or the He Who Rules the Thirst of the Loins. Those may be more exact translations, but I prefer the more poetic one: The Lust King. Ancient tales tell of his empire held together by primal human erotic desire. He is said to have ruled with an enchanted implement. The translation is even more unreliable. Some call it the Rod of Pleasures Beyond Number. Others say it is the Flail of Dominion or the Lash of Lust. Again, I prefer the more poetic term: the Blisswhip. During my excavation, I discovered where it was buried, untouched by human hands for more than five thousand years. With just a bit of restoration, I think it makes quite a thing of beauty, don’t you?”

Lyta’s long speech showed just how far over the edge of reason she had plunged. Taking cultural artifacts for personal use was a crime! However, her lecture had been helpful to me in obeying Mistress Treasure. In listening to Lyta’s lecture, my attention focused on following her absurd chains of logic, rather than succumbing to the pleasure that Mandy’s tongue was painting on my cunt. Although every cell of my body thirsted for the release of orgasm, Mistress Treasure had forbidden it. I held myself at bay, just as I had for so many months.

But perhaps letting Lyta think that I had succumbed would get her to direct Mandy’s attentions somewhere else. “Y-y-yes, ma’am! So … oooohhh … beautiful … oh … fuck … I’m cumming!” Careful to keep my hands tight to my neck, I shrieked and shook as though I had given into the powerful climax I so desired.

Crack! A sound cut through the air like a breaking bone. “That’s the first lie you’ve told me, Lexi. You faked it, just like you faked it with these limp-dicked old men. For one thing, I know that your mistress denied you permission to cum tonight. More than that, there is truth in pleasure and in pain. This beautiful artifact is infused with ancient magic. The Blisswhip can sense that truth of pain and pleasure. Beyond just sensing that orgasm you didn’t have, the Blisswhip can elicit pleasures and pains that have not coursed through human flesh since the pyramids were built.”

Now I remembered seeing Lyta’s red silk dress at the doorway when Mistress Tartarus had reminded me of the rules. She must have overheard our conversation and suspected my duplicity. I would need to make sure my next “climax” was more convincing (even as Mandy made it very hard to keep myself out of the true abyss of bliss). It was almost a shame that her husband’s infidelity had broken Lyta’s sanity. That a brilliant scholar could believe a historical artifact had actual magical powers was rather pathetic.

Crack! A stripe of searing ecstasy cut across my naked back. I shrieked.

Crack! The Blisswhip fell across my back again, its kiss like fire and passion in a single sensation. It was like nothing I’d ever felt before. I’d faced alien sex conquerors, seductive robots, and amorous demigods, but nothing compared to the Blisswhip. Each stroke made my flesh cringe in anticipation of the next one at the same time that it hungered for that sweet sting. Coupled with my months of denial and Mandy’s talented tongue, my body burned with lust, hotter than I’d ever imagined.

Crack! The Blisswhip struck my naked tits, pleasure-pain exploding throughout my body. It took every ounce of willpower to keep my hands clamped behind my neck and to keep myself from plunging over the edge of orgasm. “Please! Please, Lyta! Please, I mustn’t cum. Please don’t make me cum!”

“You think begging will save you, Lexi? Would it have saved my marriage if I’d begged you to please don’t fuck my husband? Fuck your please and cum for me, you worthless little slut!”

Crack! She struck my nipples again. They stood straight up like two lightning rods channeling the pleasure-pain right into my soul. My whole body trembled, the pressure of release building higher and higher. If I covered my tits with my hands, maybe I could hold my orgasm at bay another few strokes.

If I did, my pearl necklace would shatter.

Lyta raised the Blisswhip again and I needed to choose: Obeying Treasure by not cumming, or cumming like a slut but remaining a Pearl Girl.

Crack! I clamped my hands tight behind my neck as the stripe of burning, stinging, tingling ecstasy broke across me like a tsunami, too powerful to resist. I screamed and came harder than I had ever cum. The months of denial, finally released, turned my body into a single, raw nerve of sensation. I rode Mandy’s tongue as I writhed in helpless ecstasy. Every stroke of the Blisswhip drove the climax deeper into my soul.

Once I’d given into one orgasm, stopping was impossible. Lyta drove me over that edge again and again and again. When I tumbled off Mandy, collapsing to the floor, her whip still found my unprotected flesh. I heard a spineless, high-pitched voice thanking Lady Lyta for making her break the rules and barely recognized it as my own.

When Lady Lyta finally let me stop cumming, I could only gasp like a fish while my whole body throbbed. Somehow, I had kept my hands clamped behind my neck the whole time, so my pearl necklace had weathered the ordeal better than I had. It was one small bit to be grateful for.

It was the only thing be grateful for, as Lady Lyta visited every humiliation upon me that night, driven by a cruelty worthy of a supervillainess. I promised to never speak of Lady Lyta to Mistress Treasure. I begged to worship every inch of her body with my tongue, letting her ride my mouth until I nearly passed out from lack of oxygen. I confessed that I had seduced Grant and blackmailed him. I pleaded to be punished with the Blisswhip for my crimes. I counted out strokes and orgasms until even my superheroic stamina ran out and I succumbed to a red-dark unconsciousness.

When I awoke in the late morning, naked and sticky on the thick carpet, Lady Lyta was nowhere to be seen. For all its ferocity, the Blisswhip had left no trace of my ordeal on my flesh, only on my soul. Nothing proved that the dark lady had ever been here, except for the leather cords that still looped around my wrists and necklace. I had to nudge Mandy awake and ask her to untie the thin, strong cords.

As I gathered my clothes, I was filled with shame for so many things: breaking Mistress Treasure’s rules, failing to learn anything useful from the trustees, destroying Lyta’s marriage, succumbing to my simpering thirst for climax, submitting to Lady Lyta and her cursed Blisswhip, failing to protect Yvonne and Thora from a misogynist monster.

I knew I still had farther to fall. For one thing, I needed to confess my failures to the sexiest girl I’d ever known: Mistress Treasure. My blood ran cold at the thought of how she would punish my failure.

The worst part was that just thinking about how low I had stooped made my pussy run hot, awaiting the next fall.

–To Be Continued

---

Like what you read? Will you buy me a coffee and request something rich to sink my teeth into? Or peek into the depths of my longer fiction?

[5sosfanfictioncatalogue]

Sports Fics Masterlist

Arcadia (ao3) - paperstorm michael/luke E, 140k

Summary: Crisp, thin air. The rough scrape of blades on ice. The jumbled, unintelligible echo of male voices, ringing off the rafters and bouncing through the empty seats. The familiar smell, sweaty equipment and rubber flooring and Zamboni fluid. Luke’s taken to closing his eyes sometimes, cutting off his primary sense, and just absorbing the noise and the scent and the feel of cool air on his cheeks. That way, regardless of where he is, an arena still feels like home. Or, an AU in which Luke is a small-town hockey superstar who gets drafted to the Montreal Canadiens, Ashton is the bubbly team Captain, Calum is a defenceman with a bad habit of settling on-ice conflicts with his fists, and Michael is the NHL's first openly gay player.

Breakaway (ao3) - mukeclemmings michael/luke T, 8k

Summary: Luke was paying thousands of dollars a year to study journalism at university so that he could get a job at Rolling Stone, not Sports Illustrated. So, why had Luke, of all people, been assigned to write an article on hockey superstar, the university’s golden boy, Michael Clifford?

(Michael is a college hockey player and Luke is a journalism student who hates athletes.)

desperation (my chest hurts) (ao3) - retromalum michael/calum G, 4k

Summary: Desperation. That’s all Michael can taste in this kiss. It’s written all over his mouth in his messy handwriting, it’s obvious in the way his tongue props at his own mouth. Kissing Calum after so long is like coming back home after a long day, except for the fact that he hasn’t seen him in over four years. And he’s all the same.

or

The one where Calum chooses football over music and leaves the rest of the boys on their own. They fall apart.

Get A Little Unruly (ao3) - senioritastyles ot4 E, 9k

Summary: OT4 college sports AU in which sex happens every time a team wins.

It was always you (ao3) - CliffordAffliction luke/calum, michael/ashton E, 48k

Summary: Everyone wants Calum Hood and Luke can have him just as long as it’s on Calum’s terms. Thing’s take a turn for the worst when Luke begins to push Calum away, fed up with the way he treats him, and Calum begins to realize how much he really needs Luke in his life after all.

Lost Hearts (ao3) - CliffordAffliction ot4 E, 177k

Summary: Ashton, Luke, Calum and Michael live in four different worlds in high school and each one of them is in love with someone who loves someone else. This can't possibly end well...or can it?

made of glass and careless (ao3) - dazedlight (opinionoutpost) luke/ashton E, 42k

Summary: Ashton is a maintenance worker at the local hockey rink. Luke plays for the local hockey team. They like each other most times.

My Cobain Shirt (ao3) - unconditionalcalum michael/calum, luke/ashton T, 14k

Summary: Michael's heart skipped a beat. Did he, Calum fucking Hood, just talk to him, Michael? Michael managed to smile at him quickly before the tanned boy walked away, already talking to someone else.

It never happened before. Until this moment, Michael wasn't even sure Calum knew he existed. But apparently, he did.

* * *

Or: the one where the shy boy with the bright hair (Michael) has a hopeless crush on the popular soccer-player-with-a-scholarship (Calum).

Off The Field (ao3) - crikeymatee michael/calum, luke/ashton E, 110k

Summary: "Neither one of you are playing until you learn to get along. You're both benched for the remaining games unless you learn to get along with each other." Coach said.

"WHAT?!", they screamed in unison.

"How am I supposed to get along with this, t-this fag?!"

"Oh fuck you, you self-centered little bitch."

Playin’ In The Street, Gonna Be A Big Man Some Day(ao3) - senoritastyles calum/ashton G, 3k

Summary: “Alright, Ohio calls the toss since they’re the home team.” The ref says, holding a coin in his hand and looking at Ashton. “Call it.” He requests, flipping the coin into the air.

“Heads.” Ashton says, eyes mischievous when they catch Calum’s through the masks on their helmets.

Calum subtly shakes his head with a smirk and the ref bends to pick up the coin off the ground. “Heads it is. Ohio, it’s your choice.”

Ashton smirks and looks knowingly at his boyfriend. “We’ll kick off first.”

Or: Calum and Ashton face off in the national college football championship.

Pom-Pom Waving Queen (ao3) - twinkylukey luke/ashton E, 3k

Summary: Luke is a popular cheerleader; Ashton is a popular football player. They’re the perfect match for each other.

We're Falling Apart, But Coming Together (ao3) - sugarysnaps luke/ashton M, 16k

Summary: No matter how far apart they were, stood on opposite sides of the locker room, this was Ashton he was talking about. Ashton, the boy who had encouraged Luke to be himself. Ashton, the boy who had vigilantly and with all of himself protected Luke and his feelings first and foremost. Ashton, the boy he’d shared his first kiss with. Ashton his first best friend. Just, Ashton, in as many and as little words and memories that floated between them. Luke took a tentative step forward, into the heartache and beauty of friendship loved and lost, his heart thudding and ramming against his chest.

Luke and Ashton grow up together; respectively as a figure skater and hockey player. But no matter the differences or the distance between them, they can always count on the fact that they are inevitably two halves of a whole, drawn to each other by an undeniable attraction and a mutual understanding of the other.

Wrong Way (ao3) - boomercal calum/ashton E, 9k

Summary: Two high schoolers who won't admit they think the other is cute and some well-intentioned friends means that while Ashton's looking for Calum on the Hockey field, Calum's looking for Ashton at the library; what's to be done when you're pretty sure that cute guy in your English class is avoiding you?

You Ain't No Friend Of Mine (ao3) - CliffordAffliction michael/luke, luke/oc

Summary: Luke hates Michael and Michael hates Luke ever since they started playing on rival teams but it turns out that they don't hate each other as much as everyone thinks

You'll Be Stuck On It Cause My Love's So Good (ao3) - senioritastyles luke/ashton E, 15k

Summary: "How was it? How was it, Ash? Was it fun? Did you throw the ball? Was it awesome? Did they-"

"Lu, too many questions." Ashton chuckles, petting at Luke's hair as he moves his awkwardly growing fourteen year old body towards the backyard with his twelve year old best friend and neighbor close behind him.

Ashton sits on the warm grass, tossing his shoulder pads and helmet to the side and kicking his muddy cleats off, turning to look at Luke's tanned face and they way it makes his eyes look an even brighter blue than normal. Luke looks anxious to know about Ashton's first football practice, brimming with so many questions that they'd probably be here all night if Ashton let Luke keep asking, and he knows it's only because this is the first thing that Ashton's done without Luke in pretty much forever and that Luke's curious because he wants to play football too. Luke isn't old enough for the town league yet though, and he won't be for two more years so right now he's stuck with living vicariously through Ashton.

Or: Luke and Ashton are football buddies until they're not and then they are again and then they're not and---okay, you get it.

[11919815125]

3/27/24

in regards to the phone call about the future/my ambitions

i think the reason it strikes a nerve when you bring stuff like that up is because like. my entire self-worth is built on choosing to accept my shortcomings rather than fight them or feel shame about them. when you're upset that i "don't care" it's because it was a choice that i had to make in order to cope and survive. when i was 24 years old, i was living with my parents, unemployed for almost a year and a half, no intent to use the degree that i went thousands of dollars into debt for, smoking weed every day, barely even leaving my bedroom, no goals or ambitions. i was a fucking loser. i couldn't look my parents in the eye because i saw disappointment looking back at me. i cut off almost all of my friends because i didn't want them to see me like that. the embarrassment of it all nearly drove me to suicide.

i had to decide that it was okay. that i didn't need to be successful in the ways other people define it, that i didn't need a career, that i didn't need to make my parents proud, that i didn't have to be special, that i didn't need people to like me, that i didn't have to achieve my dreams. i just needed to survive and try my best to be happy; anything beyond that is just a bonus.

it's not that the things you're asking me for are unfair, but they pop that bubble. they knock down the jenga tower i've stacked up so carefully. caring so much about those pressures and goals and ambitions genuinely ruined my life and almost ended it, and now you're asking me to make them a priority again, and suggesting that if i don't it's because i don't care enough about you or that i don't care about myself.

i feel that i am successful!!!!! with my worthless degree and my shitty kitchen job and everything i have going on now!!!!! this is not failure to me! i am so unbelievably proud of myself! i am paying my bills, living independently, working full time, doing my best to maintain the relationships i have, traveling when i can, cooking delicious meals and trying new foods, going out and making memories on the weekends, spending so many of my days with you. that's a life that's worth celebrating and i really hate that you seem to see it as the bare minimum. of course i can do better, i can invest more into the things that matter to me.......i just don't know if those are the things that matter to you.

saying that "a career is not a priority to me" is really the polite way of saying, "i do not want a career, and if i can find a way to keep living my life without having to do that, i absolutely will." you dedicate years of your life building marketable skills, going to school, interning, networking, busting your ass and stressing yourself out to get...what? your life looks exactly the same with a little more cash in the bank and a few more rooms in your apartment. it's so cliche but i really really don't care about the "rat race." i don't feel the impulse to keep up with other people, i don't value most of the things that you gain from playing the game, and i definitely don't give a fuck what anyone else thinks about how i choose to live my life.

i value freedom, autonomy, authenticity, and honesty above anything else. i value working as little as possible while still being comfortable and happy, and maximizing the time that is mine and mine alone. i value the people that love and embrace me and being able to share this life with them. i value experiences over anything material; nice houses and fancy dinners and expensive clothes and flashy gifts mean absolutely nothing to me. i want to go bungee jumping, i want to see the northern lights, i want to visit every country in the world, i want to cover my body in tattoos and sleep under the stars and get married to somebody i love and learn to play guitar and create beautiful things with my bare hands and hope that one day i wake up and see my life as a beautiful thing too.

and you wanna ask me about a fuckin job lol

[bangtangalicious]

cancelled (1) | myg, jjk

summary: you cheated on your boyfriend, one of the most sought after boys on campus, with the nerd from the back of the lecture hall. that’s not the whole story, but only you know that. now a video has leaked across and everyone is turning against you for hurting such a perfect s/o.

pairing: yoongi x reader, jungkook x reader

wordcount: 3k

genre: yandere!yoongi and nerd!jungkook exyandere!jungkook

established-relationship!au college!au cheating!au

warnings: reader discretion is advised. cheating, mentions of past dubcon activity, yandere behavior, guilt, slight oral (f and m receiving), reverse cowgirl, soft smut in a not so soft situation, manipulation, jungkook calls you his pretty baby, sexual harassment, yoongi is lowkey a creep in this, prostitution i guess but like...its not how you'd think, mentions of rape fantasy but it doesnt happen

twoshot: part 1 | part 2 | masterlist

They say that you let a good thing be. Don’t bite the hand that feeds you. Well in your almost perfect life, that hand was Min Yoongi. Your boyfriend of 2 years now. You met through family, he was an heir, and you were the daughter of a wealthy associate. He used to spend his spring breaks with your family back in high school. You recall fondly how he sneak out, begging you to cover for him, end up passed out drunk in some alley and calling you, scared for his life.

You saw the way he grew—no, blossomed into the amazing man he is. You both got accepted to the same prestigious university program, and it is here your love story truly began. Straight out of a movie, Yoongi did not realize how much he adored you until he saw you grinding your ass up on some random guy at a frat party. A few months of drama gave way to pure happiness.

Yoongi made quite a name for himself on campus. He was incredibly charming, was impressive in his studies, and was always around for a good time. He treated everyone with respect and had no enemies. You felt proud to be his girlfriend, by his side as he made his mark.

And he was so so good to you. While your start may have been driven by jealousy and rage, he made up for it entirely by taking you on weekend getaways, loving you sweetly, holding you while you cry and buying you food. You two were freakishly domestic, and you loved it. You were ready for the ring whenever he was. So blessed that you could wake up every morning in a pair of arms that held you like you were their whole world.

Unfortunately, paradise tends to be a destination never quite reached. You sat, curled up into your knees, trembling as you watched cruel comments pop up on a video.

ungrateful whore.

Yoongi deserves so much better

#y/nisoverparty

why would you even want to cheat on a catch like yoongi? jfc

You didn’t know what bothered you the most. Was it the comments? Was it your fucked out face in the video? You moans that clearly indicated pleasure? Was it the fact that you hurt a man you loved? Or was it the fact that he was still there, sitting right next to you and kissing your damp cheeks every time he saw a tear, mumbling into your neck that it was okay, that he wasn’t mad. Did you deserve someone so perfect?

“Aw baby” He coos at you, stroking your hair as your sobs got louder. You fell into his embrace, unsure of what to think or do. “Ssh…I’m not mad baby. It’s my fault I wasn’t there”

You didn’t know how true his words were. You didn’t know just how at fault he was.

Yoongi had been doing his work in your shared apartment in his private study which even you weren’t allowed to enter. The security footage of your lecture played on his monitor, but he was barely paying attention. He kept an eye on you, but it was getting unnecessary. You had been together for so long, he could trust you now. He sighed and zoomed into where you sat, whispering something to the person seated next to you. They giggled and slid their hand onto your thigh. Yoongi simply watched, a smirk playing on his lips. The whole campus knew you were his. No one would dare make a move on you. He made sure of it. It was the whole reason he made your relationship so visible. He had people’s respect, and so they would respect that you belonged to him.

The hand trailed up your thin yoga pants, cupping your core. You slapped the hand away and Yoongi grinned wider. He liked to test you every now and then.

Yoongi wired money to that man’s bank account through his phone. Now all you had to do was tell him what happened. There was no room for secrets between you two.

“I’m home babe” He heard you walk in. He popped a Xanax and gulped down a glass of water. He smiled at you sweetly, taking your bag and setting it down before attacking your neck with soft, breathless kisses.

“How was your day?” He asked quietly, “Anything interesting happen?”

“Nah. Pretty uneventful” He raised his eyebrows.

“Oh. Nothing at all?”

“Well” Yoongi’s eyes perked. Tell me someone harassed you baby. Just tell me. “I did try this amazing latte at the cafe in the Literature building.”

Why were you lying to him? Yoongi tilted his head. It wasn’t that big of a deal, it just made him wonder what else you hid from him. The little things. The little things that pile up.

Yoongi realized it had gone too far when he heard you gossiping with a few of your girl friends in the hallway of the Science Institute. “I just can’t believe he won’t fuck you. Doesn’t he know how many people would if they had a chance?”

“He seems so perfect but it’s almost like he’s just lacking the one key thing. Dick” They giggled. You rolled your eyes. You had confessed that you really did want to have sex. Yoongi wanted to save himself for marriage, but it was getting hard for you. When you brought this up with Yoongi he shut you down immediately.

“Baby” He fingered the purity ring on his pinky finger, “You know I can’t”

You had been frequently meeting with someone from one of your lab classes, a certain Jeon Jungkook. Yoongi didn’t love this, but he was acquainted with Jungkook, and knew that he likely was not a threat. The boy was not your type at all—his clunky glasses and sweater vests and his hair long and swept back, unlike Yoongi’s fresh blonde cut. Sometimes you wouldn’t tell him that you were with Jungkook, but he still knew. Nothing happened. But he still got irritated.

Unfortunately it was impossible to truly watch you all the time. After all, Yoongi was a social guy and had to make appearances frequently. He often wondered if you knew he watched you, so you waited to run off fuck yourself on Jungkook when he wasn't looking. He bit his lip until blood came out, raging at the prospect.

He wasn’t entirely wrong about you though. You did always feel pressure of behaving in a way that reflected well on him. So when everyone was looking at Yoongi, you were able to slouch your shoulders and relax. You would go to Jungkook’s house for a drink, with no ulterior motive on either of your end. You loved Yoongi. Jungkook respected him, and you. There was no issue.

So when Yoongi showed up at Jungkook’s doorstep a week later with a bag full of cash asking him to fuck his girlfriend, he was disgusted at first.

“E…excuse me?” He stammered, blushing. Yoongi squinted at him.

“Have sex with y/n the next time she is over.” He put on a show, “I just feel bad I cannot give her what she desires. I don’t want to deprive her of anything. I know she is fond of you so if you wouldn’t mind…she is very beautiful I can tell you that”

“I…that’s not…do you realize how insane this is?”

Yoongi shrugged, “It’s twenty-thousand dollars to fuck a pretty girl. What’s so bad?”

“Does she want this? D…do you have her consent to be asking me this?”

“Of course.” He chuckled giving a charming smile, “In fact, she has a bit of a fantasy that I was hoping you could indulge. I am not sure if she will go through with it but, she might try to resist at first, but really she wants to be used like a whore. She will love it, really.”

Jungkook gave him a skeptical look. “What the fuck? You want me to indulge your girlfriend’s rape fantasy? I’m not a fucking sadist”

“It’s not a rape fantasy. She just likes to struggle a bit but then she will get into it. She will want it”

“I can’t believe I am even entertaining this conversation, you need to leave”

“Forty-thousand.”

“Fuck off Yoongi. First of all, I am not even into y/n…” He paused.

“Oh please, she’s the finest thing in miles of here, you just haven’t considered her as available. That’s how I know I can trust you to do this for me.”

Jungkook gulped. That’s not quite it. He thought to himself. But the thought passed when Yoongi took off his watch and handed it to him.

“This is worth half a million dollars. Are we good?”

Jungkook just gaped at him.

“You have had sex before right?”

Oh yes he had. Once. He nodded slowly.

“Okay good. Please show her a good time and keep this between us”

“She knows right? She knows you’re asking me to do this?”

Yoongi grinned and pat Jungkook’s shoulder, “Oh baby boy, she’s the one who suggested it”

Jungkook found that a bit hard to believe.

What Yoongi didn’t know was that Jungkook already has had sex. With you. You didn’t know it was him, and it was long before you began dating Yoongi.

Jungkook had been obsessed with you as a high schooler, your pictures collaging the back of his bathroom door, a variety of your things—forgotten hoodies, dropped pens— messily shoved into the drawer of his desk.

It was an innocent phase at first. You were just so pretty. He couldn’t help the way his blood would rush between his legs every time you would glance in his general direction. He couldn’t help watching the way you outgrew your uniform skirt, almost breaking down in tears when you replaced it with a larger size. He would sneak out of class when you had PE to watch you run, and the way your breasts bounced in the tight top you wore.

You didn’t know him. Why would you? He was no way near your league. He worked extremely hard, dreaming to get into the same university as you on a full ride because his family could never afford it.

Jungkook would normally follow you home, obviously he just wanted to make sure you reached safe. You had been crying the entire walk home. Jungkook had to gather every ounce of self restraint not to go hug you and kiss you until you smiled again. He hated seeing you cry, and it made him want to die.

He was worried about you. You entered your beautiful home, but no one was there. What if you tried to harm yourself? Who would protect you?

He had snuck in through the back.

If anyone had been around, they may have heard a scream. But more likely the would have heard the cries of pleasure that followed.

That evening you told Yoongi you were going to work on stuff with Jungkook. You dressed modestly, not bothering to freshen up much. He watched through his cameras as you arrived into Jungkook’s tiny apartment. So much smaller than his, probably in more ways than one, he clicked his tongue in amusement.

“Hey Jungkook!” You hugged him lightly. He looked extremely uncomfortable which made Yoongi all the more amused.

Two people fucking who both don’t want to. What do you call that? Yoongi chuckled darkly.

“Listen y/n…I know that…I know I agreed but I just wanna make sure…��� Jungkook could barely look you in the eye. As destiny would have it, you chose that moment to pull your hoodie off, giving Jungkook a flash of the underside of your breasts. He gulped. “You really don’t remember me do you…”

“What do you mean?” You were so confused. Jungkook licked his lips and crawled over where you were sitting on his couch, causing you to lay on your back. “What…hey what the fuck are you doing?”

He didn’t like your tone. It awoke a protective instinct in him. He stroked your hair and gazed deeply into your eyes. “How long has it been since you’ve had sex?”

You blushed furiously, face heating up dangerously fast at the sudden question. You shifted your neck away from him uncomfortably. “Um…I guess…3, maybe 4 years?”

“Tsk, poor girl.” He cooed, his finger grazed your cheek, “Alright, I’ll play along. You can let me know if you want me to stop okay?” He lowered himself enough to let his lips trace travel down the veins on your neck. He inhaled you, memories of innocent years coming back to him in floods.

You were frozen. His body radiated heat, his scent was giving you a high you couldn’t quite explain. You shouldn’t feel this way. You had sweet sweet Yoongi waiting for you at home. Sweet Yoongi who loved you, and was saving himself for you like the pure angel he is.

You looked up at the soft dark eyes of the man above you now. You couldn’t help but feel a sense of deja vu.

“Jungkook” You exhaled as his lips began kissing over your shirt, down the valley of your breasts, lifting your shirt so he could kiss your stomach. “I…I have a boyfriend”

“You’re really committed to this huh?” He chuckled, taking some of his fingers and slowly circling under the waistline of your shorts. You blinked a few times to try to react to what was happening but your body was overwhelmed. It had been so long since you were touched like this.

“Please” You said loudly, so loudly that Jungkook barely hears the “don’t do this” that followed in a whisper.

Jungkook thought back to the night you took his virginity. It hadn’t been on his agenda, he was content following you around and jacking off to your social media accounts every night. That night had changed him. He had realized then that he was messed up. He realized he needed help and he sought it out. A few years of therapy had done him good. He felt guilty about it for a while, but eventually had to grow and move on. He would never act like that again.

But here he was.

And there you were. Below him again. Begging for him through your actions and pushing him away with your words.

Emotions overwhelmed you. Your heart wrenched at the bitter guilt that you were doing the unthinkable. They very thing that you would condemn about other couples. How could you? How could you cheat? But your body was whimpering.

“I have a boyfriend. He’s so good to me. He’s so amazing, and I…I love” You let out a sob as he allowed his hips to roll into you, giving you friction you had craved for so long, “Jungkook…please” You knew he was reading between the lines. You knew he heard your consent, and that disgusted you.

“Mmm I know baby. I know you love him” Jungkook sighed as he pulled down your shorts, “Tell me about him baby. Tell me how much you love him” He began kissing your thighs, burying his face into your cunt.

“He’s so—ahhh” Jungkook took his tongue and pushed aside your underwear to lick a long stripe between your legs. “So good. So fucking…mmmmhhh” You squealed as Jungkook shoved his tongue inside you. The sensation was heavy in your core, but the sensation drove you wild. He flicked his tongue around, almost too easily being able to find all the right places to make you twitch and moan his name.

“Do you want my cock pretty baby? Hmm?” He whispered teasingly, his voice muffling against you as he continued to eat you out. You yelped as he sucked on your clit and nodded your head dumbly. “My little girl so desperate for cock she’d cheat on her boyfriend hm?” He came up for air, your juices messily spread across his lips, his eyes shot with lust.

“Don’t…don’t say that” You whined. Jungkook nodded before pulling off his sweater. You traced his muscles with your fingers, so defined and beautifully tan as he shrugged off his jeans. He took his glasses off and folded them carefully but you grabbed his hand.

“Keep them on…your glasses…” Jungkook’s eyes widened in amusement.

“Why” He teased.

“I like them. I like them a lot. You remind me of someone I used to like” Jungkook’s blood ran cold.

Did you remember?

Did you remember the way he had pinned you up against your kitchen wall back then? The way he left hickies all over your body, marking you as his. The way he had entered you for the first time, with you sprawled out across your dining table, then again on the counter tops, then again from behind pressed up against the window.

Did you remember how many times you both came? It was like a sex fest of hours and hours. In your mouth, on your face, on your tits and buried deep in your cunt, the condom barely surviving the pressure of his seed.

Did you remember the way you cried after in his arms, unable to walk? The way he held you and kissed you softly, apologizing.

Did you remember how he had given you pills so you would forget, hoping that you wouldn’t be sad any longer?

Jungkook had been too lost in thought to notice that you had pulled your own shirt off, leaving you in a sports bra, pulling his neck down so you could kiss him.

“Jungkook” You gasped as he finally regained consciousness and dragged his fingers across your pussy.

“Will you ride me baby?” His eyes twinkled in his request and you were more than happy to indulge him. Jungkook switched positions with you. You reverse cowgirled him, unknowingly, the perfect position for Yoongi to see all of you as you fucked yourself silly onto Jungkook’s cock.

You lowered yourself down on him slowly, savoring the stretch that you had almost forgotten you could ever feel. Your fingers could never give you a sensation quite like this. Jungkook shut his eyes and tried to savor the feeling.

“Pretty…pretty baby” He cooed, sitting up so he could nibble your shoulder and hold your hips as he bounced you slowly on his cock.

“Tell me something” He exhaled, feeling himself slowly approaching his orgasm, the feeling of your soft, warm walls around him too much to bear, “Did you want this because of me…or did you just need cock?”

You continued thrusting yourself back into him, the firm hold of his hands on you giving you an arousing sense of comfort. You wiggled your ass, liking the way he would grunt when you did.

“Did you want me baby? Did you do this for me?”

You cried out suddenly, feeling a long awaited orgasm overwhelming your senses. Jungkook’s grip on you tightened as he tried to keep fucking you through it, your body going limp, twitching erraticly.

“So pretty…my sweet sweet girl” He turned your head to kiss your lips, slipping his tongue in and relishing in the love you poured in through your actions. He caressed your breasts and continued to thrust up into you.

“Come inside me” You exhaled softly.

“No y/n…that wouldn’t be right” Jungkook was reminded of the eerily intimidating presence of the man who was paying him to do this. He slowly brought his thrusts to a halt before helping you up off of him, his cock still painfully erect. “I can finish myself”

You pouted, watching him drill his graze into your naked presence, violently stroking his cock. He licked his lips shamelessly.

“I don’t love you anymore y/n” He whispered too softly for you to hear, “I’m over you. I’m over this. This doesn’t mean anything—AAAAhhh” Your mouth was on his cock and that was all it took for him to come harder than he ever had.

He took you into his arms, wrapping them around you and kissing your face over and over again, caressing your hips and trying to relax your muscles so you wouldn’t be sore.

You reached for your phone as Jungkook began to fill the silence.

“Yoongi seems really great. He clearly cares about you a lot. I’m really happy for you, genuinely” He says softly, “I’m honestly really impressed he let this happen”

But you didn’t hear him, all you could hear was your heart drumming loudly in your ears as you saw the stream of notifications on your phone. Your heart dropping like a bomb when you saw the single message you dreaded more than anything.

yoongi: what’s this? <link>

And linked was a live stream of the events that had just transpired.

masterlist                                                       next----->

A/N: im just cackling at #y/nisoverparty HAHA um stream film out! woohoo

[ddarker-dreams]

Comfortably Numb. Yan Chrollo x Reader [COMM]

warnings: mentions of anxiety, just general uneasiness. word count: 2.6k.

Home is where the heart is. 

It’s meant to be the sanctuary where you can unwind after a long day of work, dress in your most comfortable pajamas, and feel no qualms for the opinions of others. A safe haven of your own making. Granted, there was a time that you felt this way, no matter how long ago it seems. A coveted period of your life that you wish you could return back to. On a surface level, any onlooker might take a glance at you and think you are as normal as they are. If only that were the truth, you bitterly lament. 

Now, what do you need to check on next? Milk is in good supply, not set to expire anytime soon. Hm… can’t say the same for the fruit. You jostle down some of your favorites onto the ever growing grocery list. What else is there? You’ve got to be missing something. Standing on your tiptoes, you open the overheard cabinet, that is now noticeably more barren than it used to be. The bags of tea that had once populated this area have vanished, all but a lonesome pack of matcha. Huffing, you close the cabinet doors, ready to voice your irritation.

Pivoting on your heel, you look over the kitchen counter and towards the occupied living room. “You drank all my tea?” 

“Not at all of it,” your unwelcome guest corrects, much to your displeasure. “Besides, you never said I couldn’t have any.” 

You raise an eyebrow at this conjecture. Who would’ve thought him a stickler for semantics. “Yeah, well, I never said you could have it either.” 

“That’s a fair enough point. I’ll be sure to reimburse you for it later.” Chrollo ends the conversation before it even begins. His attention returns to his original activity of reading, freely helping himself to yet another one of your belongings. An exhausted sigh leaves your lips at the sight. If you somehow make it out of this situation unscathed, you may take on a more pious lifestyle, having survived way more than you should’ve. It’s a wonder that Chrollo hasn’t seen fit to strike you down where you stand. Where you lack self-restraint in the verbal department, you make up for it in your overall composure. Surely anyone else would’ve been crushed under the immense pressure of having a murderer crashing at their apartment. 

That’s just about the best way to describe it, you think. How desensitized do you have to be to no longer shiver at the thought? In all fairness, Chrollo himself is treating this as the most ordinary arrangement in the world. At his own leisure he’ll start conversations with you, inquire about your day, and even offer insight that you never asked for. It’s gotten to the unfortunate point that you’re even starting to do the same. Treating him more as a peculiar roommate than the threat he truly is, though it could be your way of coping. That’s the explanation you’re going with.

Chrollo puts a bookmark into his read, and places it aside. “Is there anything you’d like for dinner?”

He asks the question as if it’s the most natural thing in the world. Your normally schooled expression is broken, lips parting and eyebrows furrowing together. Is he being serious right now? There’s no way to tell for certain. Not on a lack of trying from your behalf, his countenance never hints at his innermost thoughts. You get the feeling what little Chrollo does reveal to you is intentional. How creepy. 

“I was just planning on warming up leftovers,” you accentuate this by opening your fridge. On the shelves sits lentil soup, apples, and some protein yogurts. Shit. “Scratch that. I’ll be settling for yogurt instead.” 

“You had that for breakfast, if memory serves.” Chrollo points out, as if you’re incapable of remembering that yourself. It’s odd that he feels the need to pay attention to every detail about you. How often is Chrollo observing you without you taking notice? You push the thought aside with a frown.

“What are you, my hostage-taker and nutritionist? Besides, this is what I like to call a struggle meal. Or, meals, technically. I’ll go shopping tomorrow to make up for it.” You grimace while picking up the gourmet cuisine for tonight. Strawberry cheesecake flavor. It’s better with stuff added to it for texture, but this’ll have to do. It’s doubtful someone who is hiding a stolen merchandise worth hundreds of thousands can empathize with your position. Not that it matters if Chrollo Lucilfer holds you in high regard, with all the blood on his hands. He’s got no room to judge.

“Hm, in the time we’ve spent together, I never considered you as dense,” he gets up from his seat, making his way towards the kitchen. You don’t get a word in edgewise before your dinner is plucked from your hands. Chrollo places it back in the fridge, while you stare at him with a slackened jaw. “I’m offering to buy you food, [First].” 

How considerate of him to spell it out for you. 

“Appreciative as I am for your gesture of goodwill, I’ll pass. I don’t want to be indebted to you.” You make for the fridge once again, scowling as he holds it shut with unnatural force. Damn, he’s strong. Maybe you’re playing with fire by provoking him, considering the power imbalance, but your tongue is faster than your brain. Both a blessing and a curse. Leaning more towards the latter, you muse.

“I insist. It’s only right that I repay you somehow, for allowing me to stay here. You wouldn’t be indebted to me.” Chrollo’s smile never reaches his eyes, you notice. Standing here in close proximity to him, there’s a lot more you can pick up on. Every little detail of his disposition is intentional. From his even keel tone, to his polite speech, and way of acting like you have any say in the matter. You’re all bark and no bite. Both of you are keenly aware of this, and still he talks to you as if he’s none the wiser. It’s demeaning in its own right. 

“I guess it is sacrilegious to turn down free food. Alright, you win.” You throw your hands up in mock defense. This uncomfortable interaction helped you remember the position you’re in, how every breath might be your last. He’s broken into your residence, forced you to hide him from encroaching hunters, and made your past ten days a living hell. It was the threats to your loved ones that ultimately earned your compliance. 

You can’t help the self deprecation that’s followed since that day. The law is what you’re supposed to be protecting, not protecting criminals from. Going to the station everyday with the knowledge that you’re harboring such a dangerous criminal is weighing heavily on your soul. Life sure is full of the worst ironies. Had it not been an A class bounty, you may have stood a chance. 

Chrollo reaches into the pocket of his jacket, pulling out one of his many burner phones. “You’re being more agreeable than I expected, if I’m being honest.”

“What can I say? I become a bit of a yes man when my life is being threatened.” You respond with an empty smile of your own. Instead of earning any ire from him, he lets out an airy chuckle, of dubious sincerity. Whether it’s at you or with you is difficult to decipher. He pulls up a food delivery app, showing you the options. This was all prepared in advance, he must’ve taken the time to download it. So it wasn’t a spur of the moment decision to mess with you? 

“Y-you’re really letting me pick?” There’s no hiding your incredulous tone of voice. This series of events is far too bizarre to fathom, like a nightmare stepping into reality. Just a week ago you were contemplating how to poison Chrollo without him taking notice. Now you’re ordering food together. There has to be an ulterior motive lurking around, your gut won’t tell you otherwise.

He tilts his head at your apprehension, and repeats himself. “That’s what I said, yes.” 

Fuck it. When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade, or so the saying goes. You’ve suffered enough at Chrollo’s hands, it wouldn’t hurt to make the most of it. You take the cheap phone from his hands, scrolling through the options, and realizing now just how wonderful the variety of food sounds. Working up an appetite hasn’t come naturally with your uninvited guest skulking about. He has enough prepaid visa cards to cover what you want, so you hold nothing back. 

After returning his phone to him, you can’t help but throw an additional sarcastic comment in. It’s second nature at this point. “Happy now?” 

“Very much so,” Chrollo doesn’t mention your indignation, eyes raking over your expansive order. It’s not until he gets to the end that he quirks an eyebrow. “... A one hundred dollar tip?” 

“Feel free to add some extra zeros to the end of that. It’s not binary code for ‘help me, there’s a criminal in my apartment’, if you’re worried about that.”

He hums in consideration. “I can’t say that came to mind.” 

“Shit, looks like I went ahead and busted my own master plan.” Your response is notably dry. A headache is already in the works, courtesy of speaking to Chrollo for too long. He never fails to keep you on your toes. For all the sardonic remarks you make at his expense, anxiety has never stopped plaguing you. It’s a miracle that your heart is still functioning properly. You don’t even know why you ordered the absurd amount that you did, other than from pure spite, since your stomach is churning too much to want to eat. Maybe that’ll change when the food shows up. If not, your co-workers are going to be in for quite a treat tomorrow. 

You return to your newfound favorite activity of ignoring Chrollo, busying yourself with anything that comes in sight. Watering your plants, putting mugs from the dishwasher away, menial stuff that keeps you busy. A new feat lies in your wake. Whoever designed this apartment didn’t do so with you in mind, your larger plates just barely out of reach. Not willing to concede to using a chair just yet, you keep up the gallant attempt, stretching as far as your body allows. Your fingertips graze just over the prized handle, only for you to fail again.

That’s when you feel an over looming presence behind you, a shadow encompassing your figure. Chrollo gets the plate you were reaching for with ease, his chest brushing over your back in the process. You feel your face flushing, your body going taut, standing still as a wooden plank. He sets it down beside you with a knowing smile. That bastard…! He’s doing this on purpose. Damn him. 

“It looked like you could use some help.” He tells you. It takes every ounce of your self restraint not to lunge at him, instead taking a deep breath and nodding your head. Why is he so intent on getting a reaction from you? It’s exasperating, serving no practical purpose other than his own amusement. Inundated with your thoughts, you don’t realize how sour a look you’re sporting. This is what he wants, you remind yourself. To get you riled up. You refuse to play into his hands, and manage to get a grip. 

Time passes by at a lethargic pace. After around forty minutes, your front door rings, and you pick up the order. Sitting at your counter, you help yourself to the meal, grateful that Chrollo has seen fit to leave you alone. There can never be anything good in this world, as he eventually joins you. You try not facing him as an act of defiance. The plan that seemed ingenious in theory has a rockier execution. Sitting in silence feels worse somehow, like a ticking time bomb. Shifting in your seat, you decide to strike up a half baked conversation.

“So, uh, about the whole being hunted down thing,” your voice wavers and you hate yourself for it, “Do you have an idea of when it’s going to be over? I’m starting to run out of excuses for why my friends can’t come over.” 

This is true. There have been no more lively gatherings at your apartment since Chrollo’s unwelcome appearance, and you’ve been pestered about it. In between the lines is the prospect of your friends finding this reclusive behavior suspicious. In your optimism, you hope he takes it as a hint to get out of here faster.

Chrollo takes on a pensive appearance, his chin resting on his hand. “I’d been meaning to talk to you about that, so I’m glad you brought it up.” 

How nice it is to be on the same page. This could be the light at the end of the tunnel, the last page in this awful chapter of your life. Ten days seems like a reasonable amount of time to lay low. Maybe he’s already packing his bags, planning to leave you far behind, so you can forget any of this ever happened. Maybe you’ll treat yourself to a vacation. From the gut wrenching anxiety Chrollo has inflicted on you, you feel deserving of one. 

“They’ve stopped searching for me a while ago.” 

Wait, what?

You look at him, silverware dropping from your lax hand. He’s never been into joking around. Does that mean he’s being serious with you? That all this time, you’ve been holding out for something that already happened? Fists balling by your side, you don’t bother hiding a sharp glare directed towards him. There’s no playfully wry response, no comeback, only disbelief and abhorrence. The bountiful meal in front of you is forgotten. 

There’s no point in asking, but you still do, voice low. “... How long?” 

“According to my sources, about a week.” comes Chrollo’s response, hammering the final nail in the coffin of your patience. His motivations have never been any less clear. You know you shouldn’t have taken the word of someone like him seriously -- you’re so painfully aware of this that it hurts -- but now leaves a final question. Why? What does he get out of this? You feel sick to your stomach, knowing that it’s going to bad no matter what. Your breathing has picked up, eyes dilating and body threatening to crumble under the tension. Everything feels out of place. 

He responds as if he was reading your thoughts. “You’re an interesting person, [First]. You never cried, pleaded, or anything of the like. Instead you accepted the situation for what it was, all while staying true to your values. I find that admirable. I’d like to learn more from you.”  

“Stop talking to me like I’m a -- a fucking -- science experiment, instead of a human being. How does any of that shit even matter?” You feel the blood draining from your face, every word coming out more forced than the last. Getting riled up here is the last thing you should be doing, but you can’t control yourself. All your negative emotions from your time with him are regurgitating into a final mess.

“I don’t know, truth be told.” Chrollo checks the watch on his wrist, and you gulp at the smile that forms on his lips. It feels like a sentencing, a foreboding omen. There’s bile rising in your throat, and you scramble away from your chair. You need to get out of here. You need to run, to scream for help, to alert your family, this is not going to end well, what is he planning-- 

There’s a hurried knock at your door.

“However, what I do know is that I have no intention of leaving this place without you by my side.” 

[wyndhamvossler]

I love (not) writing things

an AI wrote my official lore

WyndhamVossler is a Detective VTuber and Part-time Cat.

At least that was how I started. It's not like I had any other choice, really. My parents were both dead, my sister was in jail for murder, and the only thing I could think of to do with myself was become a detective.

I'd been watching videos on YouTube for years before I decided to start making them. The idea of being able to make your own show seemed so cool! And it wasn't just me who thought so; there were thousands of people out there doing it. Some of them made millions of dollars every year.

But I didn't have any money, and I couldn't afford to buy equipment or pay anyone else to help me. So I did what everyone does when they want to be a YouTuber: I went to school.

After high school, I took an associate degree in computer science from a local community college. Then I moved onto the University of California at Berkeley, where I got my bachelor's degree in computer engineering. That was almost four years ago now.

While I was studying, I made videos on my off time, mostly about video games. Those videos never gained much traction, but I didn't care. They gave me something to do while I was working toward my degree. It also helped me meet some friends who became very important to me.

VTT is the name of this friend group it consisted of Astrid, Merlin, Yume, Yereza and Hilda. We hung out all the time, and when we weren't hanging out together, we would all talk about our lives over text messages.

Eventually, one of them asked if I wanted to join a new channel that he was starting. He said that he needed someone to run social media and create graphics for his videos. I told him I'd give it a shot, and that's how I ended up doing what I'm doing today.

The first few months were rough. I had no experience in making videos, and it was hard trying to figure out how everything worked. But as I got used to it, I started enjoying myself more and more. Now I love what I do.

Most days, I work on my videos from 9 am until 6 pm. After that, I relax by taking care of my dog, Hugo. Sometimes I'll go back to sleep or play video games for a bit, then get ready for bed.

On weekends, I usually hang out with VTT. On Friday nights, we watch horror movies, which is basically the highlight of my life. Saturdays are devoted to gaming, we all play Dungeons and Dragons together. Sundays we usually spend playing board games.

Hilda and Yereza live on the east coast, and Astrid lives in the Bay Area, so we don't see each other often. When we do get together though, it's always fun. Even if I don't get to talk to them much, I still think about them all the time.

And of course, there's Hugo. He's a shih-tzu puppy, and he's adorably ugly. I can't imagine being without him. He's my best friend.

Not to mention my sister, Elaine. She lives in San Diego. And she's… complicated. One day, I hope to forgive her for the things she did. For now though, I just avoid talking about her.

My family was pretty fucked up, but I know things could've been worse. I mean, I only had to move across the country to get away from them. At least I'm safe here.

I'm making a video right now about my birthday. it's very nice and super high quality. You should watch it.

Well, that's about it for the backstory. I hope you liked it. If you did, please subscribe to me.

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed, Episode 01

(Masterpost) (Next Episode)

Warning: This is **FULL **of spoilers, not just for this episode but for the entire series. If you haven’t finished all 50 episodes, please don’t read it! 

Intro: 2020 continues to be much much too much while also being incredibly boring, and Im done with Shen Wei’s Lewks, so now I’m doing a deep meta dive into the Untamed. Let’s roll! 

Prologue: The Battle of Mordor

The Demise of our Protagonist

Unlike some other shows I won’t name, The Untamed kills its suicidal queer protagonist immediately, rather than waiting four seasons, so we know what we're in for. 

This is Wei Wuxian, who is about to yeet himself off of a cliff. He is having a bad day. 

Note: if mouth blood bothers you...C-Drama might not be your thing. 

Reasons for mouth blood: a sampler

Anyway...cliff time

Note: if (fictional) suicide bothers you...C-Drama might not be your thing. 

To be fair there are hardly any suicides in The Untamed. No more than ...five? As long as you don’t count the entire population of the Wen Corporate Headquarters in Yiling or those wall bandits in Qinghe or Madame Yu or all those Wens who supposedly threw themselves into the mud puddle or that Mo guy who broke his own neck. Plus watching Wei Wuxian’s cliff drop several more times from multiple angles. So, you know. Hardly Any Suicides. 

This is Lan Wangji, who is about to have his first losing encounter with physics. He is having a bad day.

In fact, if it is possible to have a worse day than the guy who is currently falling to his death, Lan Wangji is having that.

This is Jiang Cheng, who is feeling extra stabby from this camera angle. He is having a bad day.

Camera operator: why you gotta take it out on me? 

(Much, much more after the cut!)

The Amulet Situation

This is the Stygian Tiger Amulet. Yes, by all means, (Netflix) subtitles, let's use a 12-dollar word, “Stygian,” that every English speaker who is not a Shelley/Byron shipper will have to look up. Let’s not use a normal word like "deathly" or "corrupt" or you know... "Yin" which is clearly what they are saying on screen.

Why does this tiger amulet look like a chameleon crossed with a remora? Wei Wuxian can paint photorealistic bunnies on a flimsy lantern while sitting in a field having distracting teenage lust, but two months of meditating with super magic gets him a tiger that looks like a chameleon. And don’t try telling me this is a traditional-Chinese-art vibe because this jade tiger from frickin 1000 BCE is way more tigerish than Wei Wuxian’s attempt. 

Try harder next time, Wei Wuxian.

This is thousands of cultivators having a battle.  What do you mean, it looks like about 40-60 dudes?

 Any time someone in The Untamed refers to a number of people, it is like when you do your high school play and look off into the wings at nothing and say “Hark, A Ship Approaches!” and everyone’s parents nod indulgently.

Jin Clan Mountain Hunt:

*viewership nods indulgently*

This is Captain Blowhard, over on the right, courtesy name Clan Leader Yao. His job is to talk smack about Wei Wuxian and stick up for whoever is the biggest asshole in any given scene.  

He represents mainstream cultivation-world values so here he is shanking one of his allies to take the deadly amulet of evilness.

The Present Day

Spilling All That Yiling Laozu Tea

Down at the Exposition Tea Shop, the Lan juniors are chilling and listening to Tea Dude tell the story of Yiling Laozu. 

How did they get permission to take this field trip? “Principal Qiran, we want to go downtown to hang out with the local rabble and learn about your favorite person, Wei Wuxian.”

Waiting in the wings is the man with a fan and a plan, Nie Huaisan(g), who is paying tall loot to get these stories told.  

...Why? Is Mo Xuanyu having tea here and listening? Or is Wei Wuxian being summoned back by hearing all this smack being talked about him? *Shrug.*

Gank Your Soul

Drunk flag guy out here talking about spirits. Wikipedia tells me that In one school of Daoist thought, a human being has a collection of physical souls (魄 pò) and ethereal souls (魂 hún). Drunk flag guy is saying “hún ” at the moment. 

The many types of souls don’t translate well into English, where spiritual vocabulary has always been shackled connected to Christian beliefs, and is too limited for this context. So when the subtitles have conversations like “Is it a soul eater? No, no, it’s a spirit taker!” just roll with it. (Speaking of hún, if you have any interest in linguistics, do yourself a favor and go read all the wonderful meta @hunxi-guilai​)

The spirit-carrying flag looks a lot like Raava and Vaatu from Korra which...probably doesn’t mean anything.

The Demise of our Trill Host

Suicide #2 happens about 8 minutes in. 

Mo Xuanyu is that hippie roommate with the annoying wind chimes and bead curtains and blood spatter.

He is super mad at his terrible family and also at Jin Guangyao, who sent him home to his terrible family. I wonder if Fan Man Nie Huaisang influenced Jiggy’s decision-making there. Mo Xuanyu’s choice to die for revenge might be excessive, given how easy it actually is to murder the Mo family.

Being Alive Is Fine I Guess As Long As I Get To Fuck WIth People

Wei Wuxian starts his new life by splashing a little water on his face, which instantly makes his hair go from this

to this. 

He looks at his reflection and wishes he was dead, which--mood--but he gets over it as soon as he finds someone whose day he can fuck up.

And he is ALL in on being crazy. 

OP wishes she had the Wei Wuxian kind of crazy instead of the kind she actually has. 

Meanwhile, this is the sane Mo cousin:

This asshole is wearing one of the best fabrics in the whole show, incidentally. Asshole.

My favorite bit of Wei-Mo craziness is when Wei Wuxian does a meaningless 360 all the way around this dude before ducking in the opposite direction, which is like when I make 4 right turns around a whole block to avoid making a single left across traffic.

Perhaps I Do Miss One Thing In This Life

Wei Wuxian has pining thoughts about Lan Wangji, so he plays WangXian on a fucking blade of grass well enough for Sizhui to recognize it from his dad's guqin jams. 

Wei Wuxian is a better flautist than even Inspector Gadget BeatBoxing Flute Guy (Google it).

Our Many Many Spirit Lure Flags have Lured A Spirit, Oh Shit

Lan Clan has a Plan and Wei Wuxian is a Fan

Having one single lure flag stuck in Wen Ning’s torso caused spirits to basically eat him alive, so to catch one evil spirit, 6 disciples holding flags on the roof plus 8 more flags on the ground seems like a good amount. Wei Wuxian is like “yep, a single one of these will lure every spirit for five miles, carry on, younglings.”

Baxia Does the Heavy Lifting

Wei Wuxian is supposed to kill four people because of this curse situation, and in the course of the series they all die, and he kills exactly zero of them. The curse on Wei Wuxian’s arm should be called the scorekeeper curse. 

Baxia’s spirit pinballs around the Mo clan, rapidly killing three people on Mo Xuanyu’s list plus a couple extras for good measure.  Who's a good blade? Baxia is! Yess you are! Yes you are!

This here is the exact point in the show where your friend, who has listened to you squee about The Untamed for three months and finally agreed to watch it with you, will say “what the fuck am I watching?” and try to get up off the couch. Tackle them! 

This also the point where we all realize that the prosthetic and practical effects in this show were probably not made by the people who made the clothing, because the quality is...variable. The white eyeballs are pretty good, but the glove of death is ridiculous.

Camera operator: why you gotta take it out on me?

While Baxia goes to town on the Mo clan, the Lan Clan babies...watch? And tie up the various victims after they are already goners. 

Narrator: Her son is dead.

Meanwhile, 

Wei Wuxian, you motherfucker. You’ve been alive for like 7 hours and you’re already building a new zombie army. No wonder you don’t want them to call Lan Wangji.

Hanguang-Jun Cut It Up One Time

Lan Wangji shows up and very slowly kicks zombie ass with his guqin. If you are used to Hong Kong action speeds, you will find The Untamed very peaceful.

 All of the baby Lans fan squee up at Lan Wangji like he's the cultivation world's David Bowie and...they're not wrong. Jesus Fuck, he’s charismatic.

Lan Wangji is soft boi when he discovers this murderous sword full of dead-bastard energy, because it reminds him of his true love.

Like the talk about souls, the conversations about the nature of the murderous entity really don’t survive translation into English.

Servant: it’s a ghost! 

WWX: it’s not a ghost, it’s a spirit

Babies: It’s a spirit

LWJ: it’s not a spirit, it’s a [...] ghost

Our Protagonist gets the FOH

Wei Wuxian is soft boi when he sees Lan Wangji, but not so soft that he considers actually, like, sticking around. 

Wei Wuxian is also clueless boi, noting Lan Wangji’s white clothing and thinking, as in the past, that he looks like he’s dressed in mourning. The term he uses is 戴孝, which google tells me means the type of outfit worn by Jiang Yanli after Wen Ning rips her husband’s heart out someone who is in mourning. 

Actually, Wei Wuxian, you dumbass, he is in actual mourning, actually, for you. Dumbass. He probably packed away all of his blue outer robes 16 years ago and only takes them out occasionally to reminisce about that nice date you had on your mountain of corpses. 

On his way out the door Wei Wuxian manages to find a red ribbon for his beautiful hair, so things are looking up. 

Where to go next...hey I know, how about that one haunted mountain with the killer statue, you know, the one that all my executed friends and child came from? That’ll be fun and a great way to put the past behind me!

Episode 02 Restless Rewatch is here!

[cyberdva]

The Haunting Of Queen Mary's Castle-  C.B  ~P.1☆

 ☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆

Main Masterlist

Colby Brock Masterlist

Summary: Sam and Colby had the bright idea to drag their friends to Scotland, and where would the perfect video location be? How about Queen Mary’s haunted castle? It didn’t help that aspiring physic, Y/N wasn’t too happy to head out of the country, but Colby was there to help. And maybe he wanted something more than being there to help her. Could the spirits be on his side for once?

Word Count: 4k

Date Uploaded:  8/31/20

Warnings: Cursing

A/N: This fic is from the vault. I wrote this around January of this year, I start school again in two days and the work and stress load is going to be horrible, especially with it being half in person, half online. I hope to get some more creativity back when more pressure is put on me. I have plenty of ideas with just not enough passion and time. It’ll trickle back one day.

 ☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆

“Holy Shit…” Colby held his camera closer to his chest as he walked closer towards the breathtaking Neidpath Castle. It’s aura seemed to engulf the curiosity of the young man. His friends splurged on a ten hour trip to Scotland for a quick Youtube video series, he knew near the end, half of them would be begging to go home. The comical routine played its key role in every single episode, no matter what the occasion was. It did make good money to be completely honest. Although, that wasn’t the main focus of their careers. He found himself under a tall bridge-like banister connecting its way to the entire estate. Next to him was his long time roommate, Corey. He sported a bright yellow hoodie in large contrast with Colby’s black one. It was sort of funny, each of his friends had a unique personality, yet connected so well. Of course, they were wearing their own merch. It helped the sales go up, not to mention it was awfully comfortable. A perk to the business if you say.

“And we thought the church was cool…” Sam, Colby’s best friend and other handler of the videography series on their channel, gaped in front of him. This place was bigger than any other private plot they’ve ever visited! It was a couple thousand dollars to rent out for the night, but with the palace’s history it was born to make a hefty income.

“We have this all to ourselves!” Colby nudged Sam, he handed the camera off to his friend Jake, who was talking a mile a minute to the other attendees. A new face poked out of the regular bunch.

“Are you gonna catch me when I get scared, Y/N?” Jake stuck his face in the view of the content woman. Her persona seemed quite drained due to the long trip. She was partially new to the Youtube platform, especially with ghost hunting. Not like Y/N was easily frightened, unlike her friends, it just wasn’t her go to for a cheap thrill. Nerves were indefinitely strained, since it was the first time out with the entire group. Nothing Jake couldn’t fix.

Her laugh trickled out blissfully, ”Wouldn’t Tara get jealous? You don't want to get on her bad side? Do you?” He quickly shook his head and gave a hesitant reply with his sheepish smile.

“We get this all to ourselves?” Colby queried. This place was double the size of the Trap House by far, they had to be scared shitless by the time they left. There had to be some sort of restrictions or a down sided catch to it all.

“Did you do any research on this place?” Y/N  slid up behind the unfocused main man, a small quirk to her. Colby jumped a smidge in light shock. He wasn’t expecting anyone to be genuinely interested with the property. Colby mentally cursed for being so jumpy.

“Jesus Y/N, you scared the shit out me.” He replied, not answering the girl’s question. Y/N met Sam and Colby way back in highschool. Each of them slithered their way into the other’s channels and have made frequent appearances. They definitely weren’t strangers, even though it seemed that way with fans. Y/N had more paranormal encounters out of all of the boys, despite a bit of distaste towards the topic. She was lugged around on long adventures to help them with videos. Some of her videos ranged from ‘‘accidentally’ joining a cult to “selling her soul”. She was the wicca-pedia they needed to not get possessed each trip.

“Ok pussy.” She walked off to talk to Corey, the pair oddly all had a strong connection from somewhere, and Colby sighed as to quickly put on his cheery online persona once more.

Sam waved up at a vacant window as the group, “Hello!” The woman replied unknowingly and aroused quite a shock of embarrassment. A faint giggling came from the couple in the back, “No,no, I do it better.” Corey got a hold of herself, “A Ra-Ta-Ta-tah.” The two burst back into their ceremonial laughs and briefed on about some TikToks they watched on the remotely silent ride from the airport. 

Sam turned back around to see the shorter woman. Notwithstanding her first place in line, “How is he gonna get a kiss kiss? Very ugly to me!” The duo rounded up to each other and laughed on their way up the trail, leaving the others confused and focused on talking to the groundskeeper.

“I’m assuming you are the caretaker of this?” The blonde one waved more at the older woman. She seemed more on the reserved side and peeled her eyes at the sight of a camera. A lovely addition to the already uncomfortable scene.

The woman gracefully approached Sam, “Yes, Yes I am. My name is Katrina.” Sam went on with the lady into a dark back door. The young adults glanced on in uncertainty. 

“Yo, why are they going off by themselves?” Colby asked Jake. The first rule of all of their videos was not to go off by yourself. Bad shit always follows. “He literally was like-”

“He’s been looking at her ass like all day.” Jake joked back, Corey attentively diverted himself from Y/N to get a jump in on whatever that conversation had morphed to.

“That’s whatever the fuck he was doing.” They all snickered and continued on with the inappropriate jokes. Editing this would be like a field day to Reggie.

“Is Kat gonna think…” Colby looked around jokingly, getting another round of laughter from the friends.

“I don’t know..” Colby softly replied. He pressed on to dumbfoundedly impersonate Sam’s girlfriend, “Oh it’s not cheating if he’s not in the same country.”

“It’s sexual relations Jake.” Y/N whispered at him. They continued to poke fun out of the cougar-lady, but her and Sam rushed back soon enough. Just in time to ask questions. 

“Uh, that was pretty much the coolest thing I’ve ever seen in my life.” Sam pulled everyone aside with a smug look on his face. He honestly always had one of those. The blank stares that were thrown back at him weren’t what he expected. 

“Uh Sam what does that mean.” Jake chuckled. He looked around at everyone not able to catch on. The seriousness of the situation began to settle as everyone genuinely thought Sam could have done some weird shit with that groundskeeper.

“All I have say is that was quick man…” Colby scraped some gunk off of her nails while waiting for following instructions.

Sam obviously didn’t understand, “To fill you guys in I had to learn, kind of, where all the specific light switches were. I didn’t even look around. I just kinda looked at the ground until she saw.”

“You were like that’s the coolest thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life.” Colby turned the camera to focus on him and Jake mocking Sam’s slight happiness by seeing fancy rocks.

“It was only the stairs!” Sam said defeatedly, he didn’t want to spoil the real first looks.”That’s just giving you a little hint, but um, I asked her if she could you know fill us in on some of the information of, likewise castles here, the hauntings or any deaths and she said she knows some information.”

“Oh cool…” Colby was already quite unenthusiastic about this idea anyways. Katrina retreated out of the building quickly with keys in her hand. She sprinted over to all of them.

“Look it’s Sam’s new girlfriend!” Y/N cheered. Sam spun his head around, probably pulling a muscle in the process. The pure look of utter horror could not be more hysterical. Sam became flustered with a loss for words, his face tinted with a light shade of pink. Before he could muster up any sort of retort Katrina, the groundlady, came jogging back to the group.

“What’s some of the backstory about this castle?” Jake asked, he spun some rings around in his hand. Paying no mind to the other plot line adhering to his right.

“This castle was built in the second half of the 14th-Century, but there was another castle built before that in here. That was built in 110,so uh.” Few ‘Wows’ and ‘Oohs’ cut her off. “That was quite a while ago, but the Neidpath was built by the Family Of Fraser’s and they built a Buddha made castle. This one was burned down by the English army. After a guy named Simon Fraser, who’s the cousin of Braveheart, was captured and executed and that’s why the Buddha made the castle was burned to the ground. Another family built this castle, which was besieged in 1650 by the Cromwellian army. Legend says that this was the only stronghold of the Scottish borders which actually withstanded the siege. Whether it’s true or not, we don’t know, but what we do want you to know is that one-third of the castle collapsed, non-existing anymore.” She spoke with absolute passion. The place had so much rich history, the surrounding observers listened with extreme intent, not to miss one sentence in case it may help their investigation.

Colby raised his eyebrows at this question, “One-third of it?”

Katrina continued on, “Because of the siege. We do have a dungeon in the castle as well.” Everyone went silent.

“A dungeon?!” Jake nearly dropped a silver band he was picking on by the mention of this. His personality perked up and suddenly the whole crowd was uplifted. Finding weird places in “abandoned” areas is always a plus side, but this tops all of it.

“Guys shut up!” Y/N whacked Jake with her phone, he stuck his tongue out while rubbing his shoulder. She didn’t want to leave too bad of a first impression. It would be mortifying if something went wrong and the owner already hates you.

“Is there a dragon?” Corey brought everyone back to the topic of the castle, he didn’t want to be there a minute longer, but in this group you just do what you’re told and shut your mouth.

“We do have quite a big colony of bats under the roof, so I’m not sure if you really want to go down there Mister.” The group laughed and groaned at Katrina’s statement. Running into bats could be the worst thing to encounter.

Corey nodded in response, “So there are dragons.”

The history went on, “It was quite widely used during the 14th and 15th century because that was the only reason for the whole county.” The darker side of it all became slowly prevalent. It wasn’t just a posh place the others expected it to be. 

“Prison?” Sam posed. This just got a lot weirder than they all expected.

“Yes. You’ll be able to get into it because there is this rough opening through, which was made in the 17th century, but before that the only entrance to the dungeon was through the trap door from the guards. I should have shown you that, but I’m not going to. You’ll find it by yourself.

“Oh god…” Colby rubbed the bridge between his nose, an inevitable  headache was beginning to form.

Sam tittered, “Are we just going to fall through? Is that ok?” He got no proper answer, which set his worries on the run.

“So, the last prisoner was there in 1594, I think. We know there was a teenage boy like a 14 year old boy who was just pick pocketing people and he ended up here. The note didn’t say that he actually came out of there again.”

“Like meaning it’s haunted?” Colby preyed on.

“Uh, it is haunted!” Katrina stated blandly.

“Fun for us!” Y/N shrugged to hide her panic. Colby glanced at her. He sensed her anxiousness, he didn’t want her to be upset. Definitely not in the shitty environment. Of course, he cared for her, he just didn’t know how to open up and tell her. Would this really be the place?

“We do have our own one. Her name is Jean Douglas. She died in 1750, she was the daughter of one of the owners of the castle and she died of a broken heart.” The mood fell, a breeze pulled through and messed with the mics. Leaving just a sprinkle of static in the footage. Just in time.

“She was engaged to a young man, but he wasn't wealthy enough to win her family over, so he went abroad to win his fortune and fame and because he was away for far too long she went really sickly and pale and she didn’t eat. She didn’t sleep, so she was really frail when he finally came. When he was riding his horse through the archway she was at the window and he failed to recognize her because she was so altered and broke her heart and she died on the spot.”

The group had a silent reaction to the news, not knowing how to react.

“Ever since then she is walking through the castle being very tall, very gray, very pale looking, weeping.”

“What’s her name again?”

“Jean.” A tiny shiver racked through Sam’s body. He didn’t tell anyone. Just not to set anyone off. Now he really didn’t want to face this spirit.

“Have you ever seen Jean?” Y/N asked, trying her best not to be insensitive with the approach. These things are held really close to some people. Their experiences could be life changing, for others it could most certainly be a lot different.

“No, but I do have ghostbusters coming in several times a year and I asked what was the best recording ever and they were like ‘We got brilliant ones of screams.” 

“Ah..”

“And I was like inside of the castle. I’m here sometimes on my own in the middle of the night at midnight, one, two, three o’clock. When I have to lock up after the events and such. Do I really want to do that with screams in my head? No I don’t, I said no.”

“Alright sounds like it’s a nice haunted Scottish castle.” Sam tried his best to play off his uncomfortable feelings with humor. It did not work.

“I’m going to do the dungeon now. I’m not telling you what I’m going to do now and then the place will be yours” Katrina headed back into the castle with an odd vibe. 

“So, she’s gonna make us fall down the trap door, wow.” Jake leaned in for slight commentary.

“How much do you want to bet that we’re going to die?” Y/N grabbed her backpack to locate her wallet and pulled out a twenty.

“I bet 15.” Corey grabbed his wallet too.

“Guy, that is so sad though…” Colby came into the center of all of them, “Ok, that story. Imagine your husband comes home on a little horse and you're in this window, literally right there and then you die on the spot because he's like ‘Who’s that?’ It’s a tall, frail old lady that’s crying everywhere.” Colby clung to his sweatshirt, “Oh that’s so creepy!”

“Colby if you ever do that to me you’ll have to go back to VidCon alone again.” Y/N was putting in her best bet and threw a five at him. “You can use that for your ticket.” He blushed, just like Sam moments before.

Sam added more commentary from behind the camera, “They’ve heard screams within the castle.” Katrina came right back out with her deafening personality, handed the keys to Sam and hopped right back in her small, blue car, and left with no exchange of words.

“She creeps me out.” Jake in discomfort. To be fair, she is a creepy ass old lady who owns a castle in the middle of nowhere.

Corey turned away from the groundskeeper's car and shrugged off his jitters, "So we have a castle to ourselves...”

“This is amazing!” Sam couldn’t contain his excitement.

“No Shit. I still can’t grasp why you all buyout expensive stuff like a castle.” Y/N gripped the abundance of bet money and slid it all bad into her bag.

Colby inspected the property more in depth, as if he was waiting for a ghoul to poke out at any given time, “This is where we’re staying tonight.” With a grand motion upwards Sam panned the camera up and down.

“And you guys...” Sam pulled the camera away from the stronghold and directed the frame to the rest of his friends,”..have not even seen the inside at all.”

“I know, I know.” Colby pulled his beanie down his head, the enlightened sun seemed to cascade into the clouds with a faint breeze.

“Let’s go find our cottage, get ourselves completely set up and ready for the night. Take some pictures before sun down and then go into the castle, because like we can’t lose this sunset and we got to figure this out.” Sam did some weird hand movements in front of the camera and handed it off to the other’s opinions.

Colby nodded his head up and down in agreement,” Yeah definitely.” Jake wandered around with a rock and for the most part everyone said eye to eye.

“Unfair treatment. I wanted to go in now.” Y/N gave a side glance to Sam and Corey brushed his hand over her playfully. She walked back into frame,“All I gotta say is, Colby Brock Hot Edits.” Colby walked up next to her with a shit-eating grin in approval. Who doesn’t love Colby Brock edits?”

“Shut up, you’re just jealous that there’s no Y/N L/N hot edits for you.” He playfully jabbed back at her with a growing flutter in his stomach. He fucking hated that feeling to no end, but it was such a drug. Only when she was around.

“Alright let’s go, I’m bored as shit.” Jake came back with his new pet rock and put his arm around Corey. Sam cut the camera and went down the forked path. Right down the road was a cottage for visitors.

“Hey Y/N,” Colby came jogging up to the colleen, “Did you see any weird stuff yet?” He shoved his hands in his pockets, a symptom of his bashfulness, he began to rethink his uncolorful wording in his sentence. He just had the sudden urge to go up to her and she wasn’t complaining one bit.

She looked over at him, “No, not yet. I just got really put-off by that lady. She just was so…” Her eyes connected with his and a glistening highlight overcame the peaking iris. The words weren’t verbally there, but he understood what was there.

Sam cut her off, “Dude. Look how big this place is.” It was rationally smaller than their house back in LA, but it was sizable for an ancient brick living space.

Jake made the most commotion out of the seven, “Whoever is first picks where they sleep!” He dashed ahead of the group and everyone picked up speed, almost dropping the rock he just adopted.

“I think there’s only like three beds.” Sam panted. No one paid much mind to him and kept running. They all toppled into the door and Corey unlocked it, which left the rest to run up to a room. Jake took the first one to the left, Sam tumbled into the one across. A room had a small couch for Corey and last, but not least…

“Looks like we’re bunking L/N.”

“Fuck you Brock.”

Sam peaked his head in, “Guys, we have film some shots of the place. Come on.” The three made it to the living room where all and sundry were. Sam grabbed his camera and got everyone in shot.

“What?!” With grand motions each person stood up in their acts of shock. Even though it had been there for a solid five minutes the audience always has to be entertained.

Colby turned around, “Yo! We got a TV too!” A small Toshiba was put on a step stool. It would probably gain no use tonight anyways. It looked like a piece of crap too, thank god for Youtube.

They all got up from their seats and went to uncover the rest of the place, “This is nice, very cool.” Colby led them into Corey’s room. A huge bed frame was around a pink canopy bed. Old photos and paintings of the fortress were hung evenly around the perimeter. Sam went through the rest of the rooms and told everyone to head off and get ready.

The guys took cold showers and Y/N soaked in a muddled bath in the basement. She didn’t like it here. Her mind couldn’t unravel much. Sam was stationed upstairs doing a camera touch up with Jake by his side talking about the new Harry Styles album. A half an hour later everyone was wearing at least one faction of Sam and Colby merch, phones were charged and beams from flashlights slid across the floor like a jumping snake.

The group divided into pairs as they walked to the castle. The sky grew much darker than expected and it felt like a looming spirit chipped away at the warm function of friends. The camera was whipped right back out.

“Alright, we are all showered, changed, and ready to explore the castle before sunset.” All went under the arch while the audio was whacked around by the wind.

Colby turned from his conversation to the viewers, "I’m still like flipping out that we’re staying here tonight. That’s crazy!” His lantern swung below him and the towering castle was engulfed by the purple skies. “Look at this place! Look at that beautiful sunset!” He yelled.

Y/N raised her eyebrows, “Since when were you PG-13?”

He blandly stared at her,”Shut up I need to make money,” He looked back at the camera, “When I was like blow-drying my hair and stuff after my shower, my hair dryer was insanely powerful. There’s obviously a lot of energy in it, like the voltage.” 

“I thought he said blow-j-.” Corey chimed in. He shut himself up so they wouldn’t get demonetized, it would be a funny way to go down though. Y/N and Colby giggled along with him. It wasn’t a rare occasion that they all were out laughing and joking, just the side chick with the haunted castle. 

Corey swung his flashlight up and down, “His blow dryer started smoking and like almost blew up.”

“So, what I’m saying is the spirits could use all of this energy to talk to us.”

They all made it to the castle and it was around five-thirty. There wasn’t much to do at this time, but she was always watching. There was something about to happen they could all feel it and that thing, it wasn’t going to be good.

 ☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆

Part 2? Send me an ask if you want it!!

[bao3bei4]

kpop music videos that gave their fans sexual brainworms

OR accidental fetish pop and its fringe fanbase: meditations on gendered desire 

large warning here: i am someone who has been into kpop for the past 10 years. however, i have always been an extremely casual fan. i do write fic, but not rpf. if any of that makes you not want to hear me talk about kpop rpf (or you don’t want to hear about it in general), please keep moving.

anyway, obviously pop is corporate, soulless, and manufactured. but sometimes some truly bizarre shit gets past the committees and destroys a generation. these are their stories.

the video that started this is all is got7’s just right, released july 10th, 2015.

yes that’s all 7 members of got7 (one is out of frame) shrunken down for your viewing pleasure. they live in your room and tell you you’re just right. 

this sheer fetish power of this video is nerfed only by how utterly sexless it is.

they’re styled like and dance like this. it’s a totally unironic sendup of the seminal work that preceded it by four years, “what makes you beautiful” by the white kpop group “one direction.” the chaste energy of the whole thing makes you legitimately wonder if the good people at jyp have just never heard of microphilia. (during a dramatic reading of this piece, here a friend interjected seriously, “i think it’s korean culture not to talk about things like this, fetishes in the workplace.”)

it’s for the best, honestly, though because the actress in the music video is lee ja in, who was 11 when the video was shot. considering that the members themselves ranged in age from 18-23 at the time, i think it’s actually very impressive that we only have to cancel one. 

you receive absolutely no prizes for guessing that it’s jackson wang we’re sending to social justice prison. why’d he do this? no one asked. 

at any rate, got7 fans, or “gans” (they actually call themselves igot7s which is too twee for me), have much to think about here: all 7 very small members of got7 sneaking into their room, possibly weird age play, and jackson wang eating a very large cake.

let’s see what they actually did. 

twitter was actually very tame. the most charged thing i found was (unsurprisingly) from a bts fan (“ban”). i don’t actually know what it means, but i think it means something.

so, of course, i turned to the internet’s last bastion of free speech, where you can say whatever the fuck you want and receive cheers, or as the kids say, “kudos.” that is, i read fanfiction. 

for those of you who don’t know your herstory, i started my journey at Asianfanfics.com, where, at the time of writing, there were 12,067 got7 stories. i want to start this by saying that i think feminism won, because someone was paying real human dollars to advertise their irene/wendy fanfiction on a banner ad, which is quite possibly a win for women for everywhere. 

anyway, Asianfanfics.com’s search engine sucks ass (i kept on finding stories about different combinations of bts members worrying about their weight and being reassured by another member that were entitled “just right”), so i decided to look through all got7 stories written between july 2015 and december 2015. 

but, alas, not a single got7 microphilia fic to be found. 

also, some genre commentary while i’m here: i think the stories i respect the most are the “[y/n] is a ordinary girl who’s assigned to be got7’s manager! can she make them into superstars? as sparks begin to fly, can she keep it professional?” like fuck yeah that sounds like a kickass dating sim. it almost definitely already is one. i salute all the teens around the world for buying into the fantasy of dating a boy band member that they themselves sell you. 

however, i don’t think i respect the “[member a] and [member b] are mafia/jocks and nerds/college students/high schoolers” concepts. in my opinion, the whole fantasy of boy band member is their personas, their hidden real personalities, their celebrity, and the show business setting. find a different intellectual property if you wanna write about school. i even respect the “yugyeom drank girl juice [not estrogen] and turned into a sexy girl” story more, because at least it knows exactly what it wants, and also because they’re all still boy band members. well, band members. shout out to yugyeom. 

so, anyway, i looked elsewhere. at the time of writing, archive of our own only had 11,645 got7 stories, but it does have a better search, so it effectively has more. as an aside, i think it’s so funny, and mildly disorienting at first, that archive of our own separates the “music & bands” section from the “celebrities & real people” section. boy band members aren’t real people. 

the first problem i encountered is that only 20 or so stories were written within a year of just right’s release. absolute cringe gans. don’t you care about your boys? there were zero stories tagged “vore” or “microphilia” either. stories containing the word “tiny” that were rated either “explicit” or “mature” were all normal (“normal”) size fetishization rather than, you know, just right. 

however, i learned my lesson from twitter. i realized that what had happened was that watching this video had created sleeper agents, just waiting for their activation phrase. that activation phrase? bangtan boys. and yeah, lo and behold, there was one! unfortunately (fortunately?) it had nothing to do with got7, let alone just right, so i’m not going to talk about it.  

basically what i learned is that this video may have actually been very normal, and my brain has just been destroyed by being too online at a young age. 

however, there are plenty more videos in this genre. i present to you exo wolf, a banger from may 30th, 2013. i say banger, because in a comedic inversion, it’s actually fucking terrible. 

this video is pretty self-explanatory in terms of why it might induce certain responses. 

let’s get the formalities out of the way. this video, the member who’s getting cancelled is kai. he has braids in this video :/

also skating on thin ice: xiumin and chen. guys what was up with the whole exo-m thing? like, we’re gonna have a cpop subgroup, but it’s going to be part chinese members and part korean members that we’ll give a chinese name? unsurprisingly, the three exo members who have departed from the group are all chinese. they weren’t able to stand the microaggressions probably. but xiumin and chen remain uncancelled as an official chinese apology for five thousand of years of on-and-off invasions of korea. sorry guys that was kinda fucked up. our bad! 

anyway, there are basically three avenues for exo fans to take: 1) humans with wolfish characters (usually wolf pack dynamics, which even wolves themselves don’t fucking use so i think all of you should shut up. the real omega here is your brain), 2) werewolves (duh), and 3) wolves with human characteristics (i.e. standard furry fare). 

exo themselves let all these possibilities exist at the same time, superimposing them over each other, which is very woke and egalitarian of them. let’s see what the people decided. awoo.

Asianfanfics dot com had many stories in this vein. i feel very validated that this time i was able to correctly predict a fetish. that said, briefly returning to my earlier comment regarding alternate universes: it’s intense psychic whiplash reading about these vampires and werewolves, and going okay okay luhan is a vampire this that whatever, and then seeing the actual real performance photos the author attaches at the bottom of each chapter. bro i forgot these were actual people.... it breaks immersion so bad... i’m sorry, i just can’t believe that any of these dancing boys are having weird vampire sex with wings or whatever. 

archive of our own also had many stories in this vein. and i think there are some important difference between the two sites worth talking about. 

first of all, i think the higher engagement rate of archive of our own really enables some of the authors to get super bold. it makes Asianfanfics.com seem a little quaint, actually. like the wordcounts are waaay longer, for one. it’s uncommon for a story hosted on Asianfanfics.com to be more than a few thousand words long (most of them could easily be published in the new yorker), whereas some of these archive of our own people have written full length novels about if the members of exo were werewolves. i guess it’s just intensely demoralizing for the aff.com crew to get, like, three comments per story. 

the second big difference is that i’m noticing more common themes between the ao3 crew’s writing. like stan intertextuality, or plagiarism, or whatever, but they seem to be implicitly engaging with each other’s characterizations, storylines, and tropes. i think it is because they probably all follow each other on twitter. (i have been active on twitter for three weeks now so i am an expert on fanfiction twitter.) 

anyway, like not that i am a particularly big gan (cannot even list all the members), but these people seem to have reached a very specific consensus on how jackson wang, for instance, would react in a variety of situations that really surprises me? if i were to sit down and write a got7 story, i think the fuckboitude, the douchebaggery is a big part of his charm. not to be nationalist or anything, but for god’s sake, he’s from hong kong. but these people have him as very sensitive, lots of protective instincts. not that i understood what anyone on aff.com was doing with his character either, but they did all seem to be doing different things. “kudos” to that, i guess.

but: exo. wolf. i searched the “wolves” tag. this filtered the list down from 33459 stories to 52 stories. and the “wolves” tag was very different from the aff.com “wolf” tag. for the most part, aff.com liked stories where a member was a wolf (usually shapeshifting), feral boy, lots of y/n, lots of y/n dating a feral boy who is secretly a wolf. 

ao3 really, really, really likes alpha/beta/omega stories. sorting by the most popular stories, only five on the first page weren’t a/b/o. and one of them was a cis f!baekhyun story, so i think the intended effect was communicated. anyway, let’s talk about some of the themes. 

first of all, i’m disappointed. today’s bonus cancellation is of ao3 “wolves” writers. why the fuck are you drawing so heavily from european wolves?? there are wolves in asia!! you don’t need to keep giving their packs and ranks weird latin names. i will kill you. i hate italy. korea literally has a native wolf. i hate all of you!!! if you want to write caucasian wolves go watch that dumbass cw show!!!! my god. 

the second theme (the first one was white supremacy) is that no one wants to be a wolf who fucks. i think that we need a sex positivity movement, or something, for omega rights. like, are all of you doing okay? you’re queering misogyny by inventing new genders to oppress. another level to “no one wants to be a wolf...” is the “who fucks” part. there are so many consent issues. and not even in like, a sexy intentional way? in a “i genuinely do not think this author understands how their writing comes off” way. unfortunately i am sensitive to untagged sexual coercion, and there was a lot of that.

at any rate, the aff.com wolves were at peace with being wolves, very self-actualized. the ao3 wolves know that every minute they spend alive on this bitch of an earth is suffering, and also sex.

the third theme is the evolution of y/n. y/n, who, in a startlingly woke move for aff.com, is almost always korean, is a girl main character stumbling into love, boy bands, and wolves (i think it’s because aff.com is oldschool kpop fandom, so therefore heavily asian itself in userbase). but y/n is not the main character in ao3 stories. she is the straight best friend. in what i think is a hilarious move, ao3 authors invert the gay best friend paradigm to give the gay main character a straight girl as best friend. she usually calls him “a gay,” she has lots of thoughts on boys, and she knows his sexuality better than he does and before he does. (sidebar: if all the men are gay, and all the women are straight...)

there’s a really fun twist to this, though, because the main character is always a self-insert in fanfiction. but where older fanfiction like aff.com was at peace with this and literalize it via y/n shenanigans, modern fic writers who haven’t finished distangling their complicated relationship with wanting to be a man who loves other men instead simply imbue their main character with their essence. a little voodoo doll sehun, with a lock of y/n hair. 

this creates a deeply ambivalent relationship with gender in these stories. the main character is usually an omega, but one who resents being an omega. their body and its parts is usually described, if at all, as ostensibly intersex (except more offensively), but in practice, these discourses inscribe a trans body. (nb: i think cis writers approach this in a really fucked up fetishizing way, but i hope by this point we know that that goes without saying) it’s incredibly straightforward to read this, and see the underlying desires and fears in a heady cocktail of unfiltered writing that’s deeply confessional. you know when freud had people say whatever the fuck they wanted and figured they’d eventually free associate into releasing their subconscious into reality? yeah. 

okay, and while we’re on the topic, let’s talk f(x) nu abo, released on may 4th, 2010. 

this is a blitzy, maximalist, amped up dance hit that even has its own applause and cheers built in. it’s so fucking annoying, and i love it. 

this song is on here because the second most popular kpop a/b/o story on ao3 is called “nu abo” except it’s about bts. that’s offensive enough in its own right. write something about f(x) (702 works). when will women win the right to have their own self-lubricating holes.

anyway, even though f(x) is probably innocent in all of this, i’m still cancelling amber liu. 

for queerbaiting. who told her to look like ruby rose but hot? and for what? i’m also cancelling her for racism, but that wasn’t in this video. 

moving on to a double feature: vixx voodoo doll and vixx chained up, released november 19, 2013 and november 9, 2015 respectively. this is because while voodoo doll is more formative, i think the fans who write fanfiction today got into kpop more recently, so we are casting a wide net.

anyway, voodoo doll is jam packed with weird pseudo-medical imagery, blood, vivisection, bondage, puppet shit, femdom, sharps, piercings, asphyxiation, dollification, stabbing/penetration metaphors, and a really sick and catchy dance. god that looks like the list of tags on the a/b/o wolf stories. 

for this song, we’re cancelling you, for being way too into this song when you were 13.

vixx voodoo doll made me goth i guess! insert that pic of the your music saved me sign, except it saved me from getting into emo or pop punk probably. 

chained up, comparatively, is much more tame. the only thing of note about it is that there are around 10 completely different chokers and choker looks the members wear in this music video. also they’re singing about being chained up, but that seemed a bit obvious. 

we could argue that voodoo doll is gay while chained up is gay (derogatory); that voodoo doll is queer while chained up is gay; that chained up is a sensitive masterpiece of omega4omega sexuality. but we’re not going to. 

we’re going to talk about what voodoo doll fanfiction was and was not. first, Aff.com had plenty of it. however, i was extremely disappointed to see that much of it did not hew to the spirit of vixx voodoo doll. my god, the voodoo doll becoming the one preying upon you disgusts me. the fantasy of the voodoo doll is that of absolute power. the idea that the doll itself has agency? instantly breaks the fantasy. i’m even not into voodoo dolls and i’m offended. 

i also don’t think it’s part of the voodoo doll fantasy to release the doll. the only story on there that involved Y/N kidnapping vixx members like in the music video was unavailable because the author deactivated their account. come back qxeen what did you see. 

i think this got off track, actually, in that i was mostly wondering why these people imprinted differently onto vixx voodoo doll than i did. like i don’t think you’re supposed to actually like straightforwardly absorb the morals and aesthetics of music videos like it’s propaganda. however, it’s more entertaining if you do. i hope ao3 doesn’t let me down. 

out of the then 5932 works in the vixx fandom (the least out of every group so far, excluding f(x) because they’re women), 59 of them included the word “voodoo” somewhere. that’s 1%. i legitimately can’t tell if that’s high or not. 

after some more cursory reading through the first page of popular results, my big takeaway is that people watched that video and wanted to be tortured and enslaved? but not, like, in a sexy way where the torturing is the point, the way where the point is to suffer bravely and beautifully, to endure the world’s harms like jesus on the cross, and then to fall into the arms of a beautiful boy who may or may not be the one hurting you in the first place. 

there’s a certain predictability to these fantasies. like it’s not even masochism, which would be fun at least, it’s literally just like the desire to be beautiful, even as you suffer. and i do find that a little boring. (but, i mean, you can’t help being a woman!)

sidebar: on chained up. what’s interesting about chained up, is that most of the then 38 “chained up” works (likely because the video has no storyline) are about the members fucking during chained up promotions. no one’s ever actually chained up, but whatever. it’s fine. it’s fine! 

anyway, here, more than ever, the nature of desire is stripped bare. i’ve written before [elsewhere in the unreleased tshirt cinematic universe] on how kpop boys are, through fandom, re-formed as white, or more strongly, i guess, blank slates. it’s really interesting to me how so much of this dynamic of projection is enabled by the fact that they’re asian men. they’re infantilized, feminized vessels; they’re seductive, but childlike, oblivious to their own charms, so nonthreatening; they have uncontrollable desires for sex, they’re scared of sex. and above all else, white women submit themselves to them, insert themselves into them. basically kpop fans tend to rework old school yellow peril and emasculation fantasies to reenact their own desires, often white, often cishet on them. 

what i am saying is that there’s another thesis about forced feminization and its racialized subtext in here. obviously gender is a racialized construct to begin with, but like it’s fascinating to argue that when white women remake asian men according to their own desires, that is, into themselves, they (hopefully) unintentionally echo these old fears about the sexual order.

it illuminates, it seems, the underlying dynamic in the denigration of asian men, which is of course the fear of miscegenation. now, my breathtaking ability to make everything about me aside, miscegenation is interesting because it presents a racial synthesis, beginning to collapse and trouble the artificial designations of purity. so we make asian men into white women, and end up with an unsettling hybrid. i’m sure this has deep implications for me personally.

but i think we already knew that quite a few of these people had yellow fever, so let’s talk about the gender dialectic at play. basically, the above dynamic, of making men into women (whether literally, in body; or subjectively, in mind; or even relationally, as they are objectified into passive vessels for your desire) coexists with the ostensibly converse dynamic, in which the straight women desires to be a gay man. these aren’t necessarily in conflict: it could easily be that these are different writers writing different stories, that both are ways of expressing discontent with existing in a raced, gendered body, or even that the end product of both is the same.

it’s been a while without a picture. all of you now have the legal right to hunt and kill me for making a d&g joke.

anyway, what i want to talk about is how these two fantasies can coexist. that by making a man into yourself, you can speak on your own desire in a passive way. my normal interest is analyzing forced masc fantasies (albeit in chinese opera lol), and they bear little to no resemblance to this kind of fantasy. this kind offers plausible deniability, of course, because wanting things is embarrassing. but also the fantasy isn’t about wanting to be a man, it’s about having no choice but to be a failed one. the gender pessimism running through these stories is palpable. basically andrea long chu wants what wolf fanfiction writers know: everyone is an omega, and everyone hates it.

at any rate, this racialized dynamic is one that i wasn’t sure how to bring up throughout this piece, mainly because there is no definitive way for me to tell the race of any individual writer, beyond just like the clear and present vibes that i receive. but i think it structures a lot of the fantasies contained in this essay. (i felt more comfortable bringing up the gendered dynamic, because it was fairly trivial to find out the current gender of the person writing each story i was reading.) 

obviously we should return to the specter haunting this conversation: the very much alive david eng. i think this sort of argument is familiar to readers of racial castration, especially his chapter on m. butterfly. btw sorry for mentioning that play 2 out of 3 posts on this blog. i have problems.

let’s talk about the parallel imagery between the depiction of gallimard’s final speech and the fanfiction i’ve described above. in it, gallimard makes himself into his own dream woman, dressing in yellowface and robes, the costume of puccini’s original madame butterfly. and he laments his lost love:

there is a vision of the orient that i have. of slender women in chong sams and kimonos who die for the love of unworthy foreign devils. who are born and raised to be the perfect women. who take whatever punishment we give them, and bounce back, strengthened by love, unconditionally.

in that, i see the self insert, and i see the sufferer of vixx voodoo fic. the fantasy that gallimard has about asian women is repeated, this time about asian men and a helpless identification with them. and on some level, gallimard’s women do have something very compelling to identify with: they suggest that there’s a way to endure white male violence without sacrifice, and even more potently, to enjoy it on some level.

but onward to the titular racial castration. eng argues that gallimard’s wilful ignorance of song’s true gender is a psychic castration -- song’s masculinity is diminished so that his own can be enhanced within their relationship. this, eng believes, acts out “richard fung’s contention that in western imaginary ‘asian and anus are conflated.’” this process stabilizes the relationship between the asian man and the white woman: they occupy the same place within the sexual dyad. 

this is, i think, why some people are addicted to writing from the bottom’s perspective. again -- not implying that irl bottoms don’t exist or that bottoms are psychically castrated lol -- but rather that you can fantasize about this ideal asian man that you can come to embody. in kpop rpf, rather than it being between a white man and an asian man (unless someone’s started writing chad future fic), it’s between two asian men. so this transformation is performed. whiteness is always intruding and so i think eng is helpful here to making it visible again. 

this essay isn’t a callout or actual cancellation or anything like that, i do wanna be clear. i guess i just like talking about fantasies, even the embarrassing ones, and where they come from. i think oftentimes in fandom spaces, we write a lot of stories off as idfic, and i think virtually every single one of the stories i referenced to write this fairly uncontroversially fall into that category. but i think calling something an “id” something or the other naturalizes the satisfaction it gives as purely instinctual and unconscious, when i do think there are deeper narratives at play. while i didn’t ever actually reference the base here (sorry), i do think it’s worth talking about how real world power shapes & maintains the superstructure, and thereby our fantasies. 

anyway in conclusion, maybe i was the one with sexual brainworms the whole time.

[strawberry-jammers]

adding more to my dream smp school au lmao

tuboo and George trying on their cheer uniforms

“George whys the skirt so short?”

“you know, you could just wear the pants right?”

“....yeah but whys the skirt so short?”

tommy and wilbur before their concert (wilb play cello and tommy plays both trumpet and bass clarinet)

“wilbur have you seen my other reeds? this ones moldy n shit”

wilbur chewing on wood. ”no”

“....WHERES YOUR CELLO AT!” 

niki in the back. “WHY ARE YOU TWO LIKE THIS!”

musical, dress rehearsal

“puffyyyy i cant find my dress!”

“its with your other costumes wilbur.”

“oh found it- tommy ate it.”

“i-im sorry he what?”

tubbo: “TOMMY THOSE ARE MY SHOES!!”

tommy: “*hisses*”

another concert

“wilbur have you seen my trumpet?”

“yeah its in the bathtub”

“WHYS THERE WATER IN IT???”

philza: “i have payed thousands of dollars for your fucking instrument repairs, can you two FUCKING STOP IT??”

techno ate wilburs first concert

“here.”

“techno, whyd you give me flowers?”

“everyone else was doing it.”

“.....aww you love me!”

“i will kill you”

id like to think that girl dream (who will be named Christine so things will be easier) is also a cheer leader, and is around the same height as George.

Christine: “tubbo i think we need a back spot”

“nah it'll be fine, just lift me up like the majestical man that i am”

George: “no really, we need a back spot”

tubbo:”ill be fine, lift me!”

they lifted him, he fell backwards, hitting his head.

he wasn't harmed, sense they didn't get far off the ground, but it hurt like a bitch.

got any ideas for this, just use asks lmao (i think that's what that is anyway)

[watchtheblog]

play dough

when i was 7 or 8 years old, a girl asked me what my allowance was and - after she explained what the fuck an allowance was - i told her i didn’t have an allowance because i was poor.

a few days later, my mother beat my asssssss for saying that. i guess the girl had told her mom… who then told my mom… who then beat my fuckin ass!

i have no idea how i knew that what we were was “poor” or who had made me feel like that, or if i even FELT like that, or if it was just a thing i knew to be true. i hardly have memories of being a kid, but we lived in a studio apartment as a family of four until i was 12 years old and we were - relatively speaking, for new york city - poor.

my parents were savvy with money — that’s why i went to a boarding school in london when my parents’ combined income was less than $100,000. my parents were also shady with money — that’s why i wasn’t allowed to go back to that school my senior year for 5 weeks because the tuition hadn’t been paid. and that’s why i’m paying back loans my parents took out in my name to pay for my education at columbia.

yesterday i posted a DM from someone asking how i “fund” my vacations. i responded that i fund my vacations the way i assume everyone does: with money made from working. i also wrote a caption explaining succinctly what i’m rambling on about here now.

someone who i guess can’t read responded accusing me of “being ashamed of being a rich kid”.

when i explicitly clarified that i am not a rich kid and that i have worked for everything i have, this stranger told me that my “schtick” of “driving a porsche, shopping at the supermarket erewhon, and spending weeks on vacation” makes my followers presume i live off family money.

when i read this message i was so convinced that my experience was not valid that i let a stranger gaslight me into believing driving a car, getting groceries, and going on vacation indicate family wealth… when i’m literally not the spawn of wealthy people.

none of those things are suggestive of someone who grew up privileged or rich, any more than they are of someone who has worked for their money.

like, yes, people with rich parents drive nice cars and go on vacation… but so do tik tok stars, and teenagers with youtubes. and so does ariana grande, go after her!

the only reason someone would equate these things to “being raised rich” is if the person were purposefully refusing to believe a human being is capable of being successful and making their own money.

the reason my mom beat me for saying i was poor was because i was “telling our business”. she cared so deeply what people thought of her, of us. no one should ever know when our lights get turned off, or when we don’t have dinner, or when we unplug the landline because debt collectors are calling.

obviously these are moments that don’t need to be shared with the world, but when you’re a child experiencing things and concurrently learning that they are secrets, your parents’ insidious shame surrounding money gets passed on to you. at a certain point, our commitment to keeping our issues with money a secret was the only thing that bonded us. 

we were doing the bow wow challenge before bow wow...

i’ve worked really hard to not have money be a source of shame for me, and to be independent and make a life for myself with no help from anyone so it’s anathema to me that a stranger would so flagrantly and erroneously try to discredit me and my accomplishments, which is why - to the chagrin of most of my friends - i am insistent on engaging with people about things that are none of their business.

also, like my mother, i care so deeply about what people think of me, so i responded to the message, clarifying that my parents are not rich, and that i am a writer. the stranger then told me that it’s unbelievable that my job as a QUOTE writer UNQUOTE would afford me this lifestyle.

i used to say “i’m a ‘writer’” when i was a personal assistant making $50,000 a year. i used to say it when i was a coat check girl making $200 a night. when i first moved to LA, and had no money, i ate one sweet potato a day and wrote nonsense that no one was paying me for for hours. i’d still tell people “i’m a ‘writer’.”

and i used to be embarrassed.

i’ve lived my entire life never being vocal about my accomplishments for fear of seeming like i’m bragging, or for the want to make myself small so others around me can feel big. i can never gas myself up unless it’s in response to someone tearing me down, but here we are so let me stand up:

i’m a writer. no quotation marks.

that’s how i make my living, that’s how i pay my bills, that’s how i support the family i support.

i’m also financially chaotic and reckless. (THIS IS NOT FINANCIAL ADVICE) up until a few years ago i had tens of thousands of dollars in credit card debt from taking trips and vacations i knew i couldn’t afford. two summers ago i made $7500 in a few months on a random $600 stock investment ($FTSV). i took all that money and did the most new money thing i’ve ever done — i bought myself a diamond ring.

i eat microwave tortellini from trader joe’s five nights a week and no i’m not gonna play myself by posting that to instagram - but if you don’t believe me you can ask my friend austin because i send him a photo of it 3 out of the 5 nights.

i also go to europe on vacation every summer because i deserve to spend the money i make the way i want.

instagram is for posting your wins. you should want to see the people you follow on instagram posting their wins. and if your inclination to seeing someone win is to be jealous or incredulous, then you need to reevaluate what goes on in your house before trying to tear down theirs.

i came up. you can leave.

we been getting money :)

*** anyway! this entire thing is very tacky so if you really didn’t want to believe that i don’t come from money, you can BET someone with money would never ever expose themselves to the indignity of speaking about money like this. ta da!

[chemicalpink]

Power and Control ♡ Jung Hoseok

Pairing: Jung Hoseok x reader

Genre: smut, angsty

Word Count: 3.4k

Warnings: Sugar baby themes, power dynamics outside the bedroom, unprotected sex 

Summary: Women and men we are the same but love will always be a game and I’m gonna make you fall.

A/N: Well this was a stubborn one. Like seriously took me a whole month to try and write Hoseok as a villan-y character and at the end... i kinda failed BUT I really liked this one. Thanks for waiting. I hope you are doing great with life aside from all that is going one. Take care. I hope you like this one! 

Hoseok wouldn’t dare to try and label what you and he had as conventional, hell, he wouldn’t even dare to try and label himself as conventional, quite the contrary, because really, what’s a broke college-graduate-to-be got to do when a beautiful, empowered woman like yourself is seeking out a sugar baby deal? Say no? He would have to be stupid, plus, it’s not like you two are 10 or so years apart, you’re just 2 years older than him; plus, the deal was simple enough, apart from a disclosure contract and a few sessions of experimenting what you two liked with each other, it had been easy enough to fall into a routine.

Said routine meaning two to three sessions a week, some weekends together and playing as arm candy in most of your business parties, to which he would then find his semester’s tuition fee paid off, the latest limited-edition Supreme collection on his college dorm and one time, an all-included vacation to Europe for Christmas.

As time went on, nearly a year into it, it had become harder and harder to keep coming up with excuses as to how exactly he was being able to afford such a luxurious way of living without it being apparent that he had worked for it, especially when his closed group of friends were clearly struggling with it all (he might have asked you once to pay for Namjoon’s tuition fee after he got injured and couldn’t work for the month, the guy so in the clouds hadn’t even noticed the debt gone), and you know, Jung Hoseok isn’t a man with fragile masculinity, he knows exactly who he is, so even if for him being a sugar baby was really no big deal, the constant assumption of sugar babies having daddy/mommy issues sure was in the back of his mind every time he so much as the thought of sharing his lifestyle with his friends crossed his mind (cause he did not have daddy/mommy issues, thank you very much).

“Hobi, this just got here for you, I thought we had talked about your shopping addiction?”  Namjoon said as he passed him by on his way out the kitchen, coffee mug in hand, small package on the other, placing it on the kitchen counter before turning to look at him. Hoseok so much as fake laughed his worst laugh trying (and most probably failing) to not make his roommate any more suspicious. 

See, the greatest excuse for the time being all those months ago, when you had started gifting him stuff and sending it to his dorm, was saying that he ‘might have developed an addiction to online shopping’. He had talked it out with you, and you agreed to start delivering the gifts on your sessions. Hoseok hummed while taking the package from the counter “I just- I had this coupon and I had to use it” Namjoon wasn’t even paying attention to him anymore, he could clearly not have said a thing.

“Hey, hyungs would you mind if I-OH MY FUCKING GOD IS THAT BOX FROM THE NEWEST CHANEL COLLECTION???” Taehyung was… quite a melodramatic man when it came down to his expertise: fashion; which was one of the reasons Hoseok could kind of breathe around his own home. Namjoon didn’t know shit about fashion. But Taehyung would a hundred percent not fall into his ‘I got a coupon’ facade for a split second. His throat ached to instinctevely deny the younger’s claim but he knew it would do no good. Hoseok had once committed the deadly mistake of wearing one of the perfumes you had gifted him for his birthday to one of their nights out and that man right there, Kim Taehyung, had known from a sniff that he was wearing a thousand dollars Paco Rabanne Luxe Edition 1 million 18 carats. How exactly? He wouldn’t dare to ask. Taehyung knew his fashion. But the night didn’t seem to come to an end soon enough with his friend’s questioning. “Hoseok-hyung, how did you get access to one of the most exclusive collection previews of the world? I mean, I’m all for Gucci, but go off I guess”

So they are talking about it. May the gods have mercy on his unable to lie for his life soul.

“It was a gift from uh- my distant rich- auntie?” both Taehyung and Namjoon turned to look at him in the most sceptical way possible, but soon went back to their conversation.

He was going to have the talk with you later, for the second time. As if on cue, his phone dinged with a text from you, very out of character, if he may add, you two kept it on the line of the contract that bound the two of you, no texting, no calls, no nothing. He was busy with school most of the time and you were probably busier with your business stuff anyways.

From: Y/N [12:38]

You got my gift?

To: Y/N [12:38]

Yeah. Now apparently I have a rich distant auntie that is sending me expensive af gifts.

To: Y/N [12:39]

But then again, who am I to complain, right?

From: Y/N [12:43]

Great. Wear it tonight. 10 pm sharp. Long day.

Over the course of the months with you, he had learnt quite a few things about himself, first, he had an expensive taste, he just couldn’t afford it. Second, you knew his love language was being gifted things, and lord, did you take advantage of that to keep him wrapped around your finger. Third, he always felt as if you had come to know him inside and out so clearly, you had come to read him like an open book but he couldn’t say the same. You were a reserved woman, he knew that. With your position and all, it made sense. But he was just as cold to people he wasn’t close with, so he had to have some upper hand at it. Even after spending days on researching you he always came empty-handed. Sure, you two fucked, kissed, hanged out, but there was just this sense of chemistry lacking as if you two melted together when naked but once the fog cleared, it became a constant battle to gain control over the other. You had gifts to win him over. He had his charm and amazing bedroom skills to keep you grounded. You made it work. Kind of.

He arrived at your place a few minutes before 10, making himself a drink at the sky bar in the middle of your living room as he stared outside the floor-length window to watch Seoul’s night sky and lighted ground of the busy city, your heels clicking on the floor when you entered the space.

“Oh you got here early?” he turned around to watch you dispose of your jewellery in the entrance table, stealing glances at him every few seconds “I didn’t think you would actually listen to me and wear it, do you like it?

Hoseok lifted the glass to his lips to sip the alcohol. The poorly lit room brought a new light to you that deep down he had known for a while but he wasn’t willing to accept, the tiredness behind your eyes luring him in, making him imagine for a second that the setting was much more domestic than what it really was “Got off classes early and yeah, it does the job, thanks”

You made your way to the bar to fix yourself a drink, all the while he couldn’t stop staring at you, the imposing aura you always exuded sending shivers down his spine, his mind racing. He could already picture you bent over the couch for him as you took a seat and waved him over.

He couldn’t even begin to comprehend how much time went by when your lips found his, your dress riding up your thighs when you moved to straddle him, hands finding your ass, tongues fired up with evident desire as you ground down on his hard length “You texted me first today” you broke away from the kiss to look at him funnily, for the first time in the almost a year knowing you, he could see the slightest of vulnerability in your eyes, fondness, for him. So after all, you were wrapped around his finger “Are you falling in love with me, miss Y/N?” 

Your answer was very much in character, sucking his jawline while your hands worked their way down his pants to free his cock, stroking him a few time to bring it to a full length, his head throwing back into the couch in pleasure as you retorted teasingly “Think you’re going to break my heart, Hobi?” 

He knew then that your favourite game had begun. A constant game of tug and pull to lead the sex that had become a routine for both of you.

He had somehow worked his way under your dress at the same time as he pushed his pants to his ankles and removed them, giving your clothed core just the right amount of friction you were seeking and providing him with the perfect moment to flip you both over on the small space, a smirk taking over his factions “You might be good looking baby, but you’re not a piece of art”

“God I need you so much right now” you whispered at him, before tracing the expanse of his back under his newly bought sweater, distracting him enough for you to take his place on top, aching core approaching his face as his smile didn’t seem to get any bigger “Dinner’s served”

“My favourite,” he said before beginning to suck on the inside of your thighs, working his way to where you needed him the most, hot tongue wetting your already drenching panties for a few seconds before he pushed the cloth aside and gripped you even closer to his face, teeth nibbling at your folds teasingly, drawing a loud moan out of you, walls instinctively clenching as his tongue traced you whole, lewd noises filling up the room, subtly grinding up to him as he traced circles on your clit before eating you out once again, up until your thighs started trembling against his head, yours thrown back in ecstasy at the pleasure. His face glistening with your juices once you let him take control over the situation.

Hoseok’s deft fingers rid you of both of your remaining pieces of clothings as you tried to catch your breath, fully aware of what was about to go on after you had your fun with him. Your exposed skin hits the coldness of the floor as Hoseok rolled both of you down the couch, making you shiver as a smile is plastered in the younger’s face; you close your eyes for a split second, not needing to know that for the time being, Hoseok was pumping his hard cock to ready himself for you, small fluttering kisses adorning the space just below your neck as he approaches your ear silently “I was thinking… a Tesla would be a great combo with my brand new Chanel collection, you know?”

A small laugh leaves your lips before you open your eyes to see him hovering above you, eyes  travelling your face, a few strands of hair covering his “You are not sweet talking me into buying you a Tesla, Hoseok”

“I was thinking more of fucking it out of you” it is then that he enters you in a swift thrust, letting you adjust for a few seconds before moving experimentally at the new angle for both of you that was your living room floor, his hand coming up to place your right leg over his shoulder, gaining him better access to have you whimpering below him, just the way he liked. Long, skilled fingers caress your clit as he keeps a steady rhythm inside of you, feeling the warmth enveloping him and your walls clench around him as he speeds up his pace on your nerve bundle.

“Oh g-Hoseok I’m gonna cum” your voice is strained and he feels it as the opportunity to wreck you harder, the movement of his hips hitting all the right spots within you, he can feel your leg cramping on his shoulder as a wave of pleasure hits you and he has half a mind to pull out and release himself on your stomach, both of you breathing heavily as the need starts to fade and it all comes to an end. 

You see, if you asked any of Hoseok’s close friends, they would describe him as pure sunshine, and he was, kinda, at least for the most part of his life, but he was also a man determined to get what he wanted in life, which was why, he was currently pondering his next move. After your little session at your living room floor/couch, he had felt a shift in the air, a longing between the two of you, and that only went on for the next few weeks as you would drop your cold facade and text him small things, as he kept on receiving packages at his dorm (without Tae or Joon knowing, thank fuck) and he had found himself thinking about you non-stop. It was pretty obvious, and if someone had known about your existence, they might have pointed it out, cause it was so obvious even for himself, that the tug and pull game of yours, had made you both fall for the other somehow. Which really, wouldn’t be a problem if it wasn’t for that shitty paragraph on your contract that seems to keep replaying itself inside his mind. If you started becoming too familiar with each other, you would revoke the contract. He had agreed and signed it, thinking that it is just too weird for someone to grow acostumed to another if they just fuck and leave afterwards, but apparently somewhere he went wrong. And he clearly needed the money. You had yet to come to realise your newly found dynamics so he was living on borrowed time. And he had to act quickly.

Hoseok wasn’t really a strategic man, but luck always seemed to be on his side, so it took a mere week to come up with something. He had been visiting the hospital where his sister worked (per his mother’s request) just hanging out, which probably wasn’t even allowed to, but Jiwoo had insisted to wait for her lunch break as it was a slow day anyway. So he did.

“You’ve never told me how you paid off your tuition without dad’s help, Hobi” his sister commented as she went through some papers on her desk. His mind crashed. Error 404. Flee the country. It is one thing lying to his friends about his way of living, a completely different story when family starts asking.

“Oh I’m a- personal assistant of some CEO” he answered, turning to look the other way towards the entrance, almost nonchalantly, but life liked to have fun with him, so of course just as he is trying his best to keep you out of his mind, you had to be walking right through the door, not as outstanding as he is used to see you, but the aura you exude that is so uniquely yours is unable to miss out. You two didn’t talk on personal life, but he had researched you over the months, trying (and failing) to gain some type of useless power over you. It seemed like whatever wasn’t business, wasn’t you. So he had to play dumb.

“Who 's that?” he asked his sister, just as you were rounding the corner, Jiwoo turning to look at your disappearing figure

“Oh, that’s Y/N”

“Y/N like Y/N Y/L/N? the CEO?” the idea of maybe getting into acting and winning an Oscar crossed his mind, his sister hummed in thought

“I guess, Y/N is quite an unusual name right?” she resumed whatever she was doing before adding “But this girl couldn’t be her, she comes to visit her sister religiously every Friday”

“Is she sick?” so your cold uncaring demeanor was really just a front you put up for people.

“You’re starting to sound like a pervert, Hoseok”

He really wishes he could say he dropped the whole sick sister thing after that day, but the longer he thought about that, the cleared it was for him that if he was looking for an upper hand for you not to drop him out of the whole money deal once you realised you had both infringed the contract that brought you two together, this was it. He had immense self-confidence, if he said so himself. But there was something about going against you that wasn’t exactly easy to warm up to. He tried several times to come up with a plan but came empty-handed so he guessed he would just have to go with the flow. 

“You’re so wet already” he grunted as you felt his member teasing your entrance, his hand gripping your hair to bring you to face the mirror beside your bed. Hoseok had decided to drop by after he knew you were done with work, taking you by surprise at the unscheduled session, but then again, who were you to complain about the man, who in less than five minutes and some lazy kissing on your bed had both of you riled up and on all fours at his complete mercy “We’ve got some things to talk about, Y/N” 

You tried to turn your face to look at him directly instead of the mirror but he just tightened his grip as he thrusted forward forcefully, making you grip your sheets tighter attempting not to tumble over, a pleasurable sting on your scalp “I’m listening”

“Friday. Lunchtime, what exactly were you doing at the hospital?” he asked and could already feel your though exterior crumble, he just had to hope that whatever big secret it was having a sick little sister was enough for him to keep the upper hand in the situation.

Just as fast as that surprised look had appeared on your face, it was replaced with determination in your eyes as you pressed yourself back onto him, purposely clenching around him in the way you knew drove him crazy “Maybe I’ll talk. If you fuck me hard enough”

So he did.

“So what do you want in exchange for keeping my Friday’s whereabouts a secret?” you asked as his clothes were thrown at him

This was it. “I want my full tuition paid off before you call it quits on us”

You turned to look at him, laughing a little “Hoseok, a human vulnerability doesn’t mean that I am weak” you made your way to the bathroom “You’ll have to work harder for it”

Each day that went by was filled with dread of having his whole lifestyle crumbling down in a second, it had been so long since he had even so much as heard about you. Until he wouldn’t stop hearing about you (kind of) He remembers waking up to a 5am text from you telling him that he couldn’t have peace without a war, but if he was being completely honest, he was kind of asleep at the time so he couldn’t comprehend half of it. But it all became clearer when his phone started blowing up with texts, from Taehyung and Namjoon, to his sister and his parents. Apparently, you had a very expensive shopping spree in his name, delivered especially with lots of love to every person that could, and most certainly would question how exactly he had the kind of money to afford the luxurious gifts that they were all receiving. 

From:Y/N [9:02]

You start at 10. 

To: Y/N [9:02]

Y/N What’s going on?

From: Y/N [9:05]

Welcome to the team, board member Jung Hoseok.

So perhaps you would always have the upper hand when it came to power and control of whatever it was you two were playing. You had no doubt and no obstacle to ruin his whole life. But he guesses that his upper hand is shown in the fact that he could keep you from doing just that.

[mikrowrites]

thinking out loud

aaron tveit x reader

brown sugar cinnamon pop-tarts, a handsome stranger, and a show about a con man...

So honey now, take me into your loving arms

Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars

Place your head on my beating heart

I'm thinking out loud

Maybe we found love right where we are

2009– Seattle, Washington

Y/N stifled a yawn, staring at the vending machine with a blank expression. Her neck hurt, her back hurt, her legs hurt. She could not wait to go to her hotel room upstairs and take a shower.

She was dressed to the nines in her rehearsal wear: a baggy NYU sweatshirt, leggings, and Nikes, her hair messily pulled out of her face, though a few flyaways were stuck to her forehead. Y/N was in the beginnings of rehearsals for her first off-broadway show, and if this one went well she’d make her Broadway debut.

Y/N found the packet of brown sugar cinnamon pop-tarts she wanted, clicking the F9 keys and waiting patiently for her pastries to dispense.

But much to her anguish, they remained caught on the metal contraption rather than falling.

The girl let out a loud groan, smacking her forehead tiredly against the glass of the vending machine.

“Uhm, are you okay?”

Y/N’s eyes opened wide, the girl immediately straightening and turning towards the stranger, before being transfixed for a few seconds.

The stranger was an incrediblely handsome man, probably around her age, with brown hair and gorgeous blue eyes. Y/N regained her sense, plastering a tired smile on her face and nodding way too enthusiastically. “Oh, yeah. I’m great. Wonderful, really.”

“Okay...?” The man laughed slightly, gesturing to the vending machine. “Then why are you giving yourself a concussion on a hotel vending machine?”

Y/N sighed. “It’s been a long day. And my pop-tart won’t dispense. First world issues.”

The man nodded in understanding, before his face contorted into confusion watching Y/N pull another couple dollar bills out of her wallet. “What are you doing?”

“Paying an exorbitant fee for pop-tarts.” Y/N frowned.

“No, no, no, that’s not what you do.” The man shook his head, walking up next to Y/N and putting his hands on either side of the vending machine. “I used to do this in college a lot.”

Before Y/N could say anything the man violently shook the machine, her mouth dropping in surprise before widening into a smile as her pop-tarts and a generous few other packaged snacks fell down.

The two dove down to collect them in their arms, looking up to hear a “HEY!” as a consierge leaned over their desk, shouting at them.

“Run!” Y/N hissed, the two scrambling up and running out of the lobby with the snacks, all the way to an elevator where the man repeatedly hit the close door button, the two laughing hysterically as Y/N shouted out a string of “Go, go, go!”

The doors shut, the two bursting out into a new wave of laughing, Y/N looking up at the man. “That was insane.”

The man shook his head, grinning. “I’m gonna hear about that tomorrow for sure.”

Y/N nudged him with her elbow. “Nah, don’t worry I’ll vouch for ya.”

The man smiled down at her. “What’s your name?” Y/N tilted her head to the side. “Don’t worry, I won’t frame you for Hostess theft.”

She giggled, shaking her head. “Y/N.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Y/N. I’m Aaron.” He introduced himself.

“A pleasure, Aaron.” Y/N returned.

The elevator doors opened, Aaron sighing. “This is my floor...” he looked at the empty hallway before turning to Y/N, gesturing at the abundance of snacks in their hands. “... and I can’t eat all of this alone.”

Y/N smiled rolling her eyes. “I guess I could spare some time for a Twix bar.”

Two hours later and Y/N had never felt more wide awake, the two sitting and chatting with each other as they finished off their treats.

“So you’re from New York?” Aaron asked, nodding to the sweatshirt that hung on Y/N’s frame.

“Yup,” she responded, popping the p. “NYU Dance major, class of ‘05.”

Aaron sat up a bit. “You graduated? That’s awesome.”

Y/N nodded with a smile. “Yeah. It was hard, but sooo worth it. I joined the Rockettes my last two years of school so things were tight.”

The man’s jaw dropped. “You’re a Radio City Rockette? What are you doing in Seattle?”

“Was.” she corrected, popping another Skittle in her mouth. “I didn’t audition because I auditioned for an off-broadway show and got in as a dancer. That’s why I’m here.”

“Wait, are you in Catch Me If You Can?” Aaron asked incredulously.

Y/N furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. “Yeah, actually, I am. Why? Wait how do you—“

Aaron pointed at himself. “Frank Abagnale Jr.”

She froze for a minute before her eyes widened, Y/N leaning over. “No shit! Oh my god! So you’re...”

He laughed and nodded. “Aaron Tveit, yeah.”

Y/N leaned back and rested her head against the wall. “Well, okay then. Anything else I should know?”

“Uhhh... I can clap with one hand?”

“What the fuck, show me right now.”

—

The next morning, Y/N walked into the rehearsal space, grinning from ear to ear as the events of last night played out in her head.

She threw her bag down onto the floor reaching down to pull her LaDucas and an empty water bottle out of her duffle. When Y/N straightened up, she turned to see a hand held out to her, presenting a package of brown sugar cinnamon pop-tarts.

Y/N looked up and smiled brightly at Aaron, who stood sheepishly, holding out the pop-tarts. “This was your favorite flavor, right?”

“We’ve known each other for less than 24 hours and you already know me so well.” Y/N mused, graciously taking the pop-tart.

“What can I say, minor theft brings people together.” Aaron responded, Y/N letting out a burst of laughter, shaking her head.

“You are too much, Tveit.” She said, turning to sit and strap on her LaDucas.

“I think I’m just enough.” Aaron shot back, walking backwards as he retreated back to where Norbert and Kerry stood.

Y/N shook her head with a smile. “Yeah, just enough.”

He pumped his fist, before throwing her another grin and jogging back over to the main cast. Y/N finished strapping her shoes on with a chuckle.

“Okay everybody!” Jerry shouted. “Let’s go from the top of the show!”

—

Y/N and Aaron jogged down the streets of Seattle together, the girl stopping and leaning against a storefront, fanning herself with a random tourism pamphlet. “God, it’s hot.”

“It doesn’t feel as bad as NYC, though!” Aaron tried to uplift.

“It’s hot as balls.” Y/N whined, Aaron laughing at her antics.

He linked his arm around hers, pulling her into a little cafe (with air conditioning), Y/N sighing in relief. Aaron shook his head with a smile, going to the counter and ordering two iced americanos. Y/N walked up next to him and reached for her bag.

Aaron stopped her. “I’ve got it.”

“No, let me. You buy me pop-tarts every morning, that’s not a cheap endeavor.” Y/N reasoned.

“It’s one coffee.” Aaron teased back, sliding his card before she could protest.

“Thanks.” Y/N responded genuinely.

Aaron wrapped his arm around her shoulder dramatically. “Anything to rescue my girl from the summer heat.”

Y/N’s heart beat a little faster, but she ignored it as she ducked out of his arm. “Ew, you’re gross and sweaty.”

“What, so are you!”

Y/N turned and smacked Aaron in the chest, the man laughing as she went to gather their drinks, the two finding a seat.

“I can’t believe we open in a week.” Y/N wondered, stirring her straw in her drink.

“It always feels surreal. Especially the first time you open a new show.” Aaron agreed.

Y/N smiled. “Yeah.” She took a long sip of her americano, sitting back. “And if we go to broadway... damn.”

“Back to the city, eating, sleeping, and breathing the show.” Aaron added, Y/N laughing a bit.

Y/N raised her drink. “To con men.”

Aaron shook his head, clinking his drink with hers.

“To con men.”

—

The whole cast bowed, the audience roaring with applause. Y/N looked to her left, Aaron making eye contact with her and flashing her that handsome smile. She rolled her eyes, waving as the cast walked off stage.

Later that night Y/N stood out on the empty stage. The theatre was lit only by a couple ghost lights, the dimly lit area clenching at her heart.

“Came to bid your farewells?”

Y/N smiled softly, turning to see Aaron walk onstage with his hands in his pockets. “Yeah.”

He nodded, coming to stand beside her as they looked out at the empty velvet seats.

“I don’t want it to be over.” Y/N spoke, her voice barely a whisper.

“Me neither.” Aaron sighed, turning to look at the girl.

Y/N turned and looked up at him, giving him a sad smile. “When we get back to the city, you’ll call me, right?”

“Of course.” He reassured.

“And when you go back to Next to Normal, I’ll be in the front row.” Y/N promised.

“And when you perform with the Rockettes this winter I’ll be at Radio City Hall.” Aaron smiled.

Y/N nodded, turning to look back at the theatre. “And with that,” she shouted out with her arms flung out and open wide, “I bid you adieu!”

Aaron watched her, his heart beating rapidly in his chest as she bowed to the empty theater, her arms out, before returning to her standing position. She let her arms drop to her sides, nodding in finality. Y/N turned and smiled at him, Aaron was left breathless.

The ghost lights’ illumination cast perfectly on her face, accentuating every feature. Aaron couldn’t help but stare, because he was looking at the most beautiful girl in the whole world.

Y/N sighed, clicking her tongue. “We should probably go before stage management throws us out.”

Suddenly Aaron burst forwards, in three long strides he approached Y/N, resting both hands on each side of her face as he kissed her, the girl making a noise of surprise before melting into him. She pushed her lips back onto his, reaching a hand up to run through his hair before resting it on the nape of his neck.

The two pulled away gasping for air, their eyes meeting. It felt like electricity was zapping through both of them, Y/N smiling. “When we get back to New York, ask me on a date. I’ll say yes.”

“And when you say yes,” Aaron whispered. “I’ll take you out on the best date of your life.”

“One without vending machine theft?”

Aaron chuckled, leaning in. “One without minor felonies, yes.” He brought her into another kiss, Y/N smiling against his lips.

“Hey!” One of the stage managers shouted. “No sex on my stage!”

“Shit!” Y/N gasped, the two quickly pulling away from each other. “Sorry, Mike, we’re on our way out!”

Aaron laughed, Y/N shaking her head in amusement. “Okay. See you on Broadway, Mr. Tveit.”

“See you on Broadway, Miss L/N.” He said.

Y/N stepped away, licking her lips and picking up her bag off the floor. She stepped backwards, smiling at Aaron who stood on the stage watching her every move.

“Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

a/n: so the next couple of aaron blurbs are gonna have two things in common: 1) always involve an ed sheeran song bc i’m unoriginal and 2) all kinda revolve around each other, like these aren’t standard part 1, part 2, etc. but the storylines definitely intertwine somewhat? idk if that makes sense. anyways, i’m a slut for cmiyc so here’s this!

EDIT: Happy Birthday to (1) man!

[gashinabts]

The Deal

Word: 8.8k

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Angst, Fluff

Summary:  Entering your room you immediately lay on your bed sighing with exhaustion, you lift the money and start counting the money. “ 20,40,60,80...what the fuck…” you continue counting the money until it’s to five hundred dollars. “ Here I come, Jungkook.”

Warnings: Mature language

A/N: AHHH I’m soooo sorry I haven’t been posting lately due to this crazy pandemic a lot of unfortunate things have happened to me. I hope you guys like this fic, it took me awhile to plan it and write it, and I’m still disappointed in it :( I wish you all good health and please be careful!! Make sure to always wash your pretty hands!!!

“ Her parents have been married for twenty years but she thinks her mother is having an affair. She still wants to find love like them well...at the moment when they were happy. Her favorite movie is Fight Club because she thinks it makes her have good taste in movies. She doesn’t kiss on the first date because she doesn’t want to seem too easy,” you finish your statement and hold your hand out. “ That would be a hundred dollars.”

Jimin hurriedly reaches from his back pocket and looks for cash in his wallet. He’s about to give you the money but stops himself. “ Is that all? Did Heejin say anything about me?”

“ Well I can’t just randomly say your name in our conversations. You know how long it took me to be her friend and I had to listen to her complain about everything.” Jimin gives you a sad pout and gives you an extra twenty dollars. “ Fine okay. We were playing truth or dare and she said she wouldn’t mind getting on

her knees for someone on the football team…”

“ And…”

“ It was you. Happy now?” You smile once he hands you the money. You smirk while counting the money. “ There’s also one more thing but I don’t think I should tell you.” You sigh and put the rest of the textbooks in your bag

He slides you another twenty dollars, “ Tell me.”

“ She lost her virginity in a small car and she regretted it. It was to some random guy. Well she wants her first boyfriend to think she’s a virgin so it can be special to her. She only told me since we are ‘close friends’. Now it’s your time to woo her or whatever.” You grab the cash and put it in your wallet. You quickly say bye to Jimin and walk out of the library.

You enter the classroom and take your notebook out. “ Hey. Wanna hangout afterschool? My parents aren’t home, we were thinking of throwing a kickback?,” Heejin asks you as she takes her notebook out.

“ Uhh... can’t I’m really busy with homework.” This was the hardest part of doing this ‘job’, trying to get rid of your relationship with them.

Heejin shakes you lightly, “ C’mon you can worry about your homework another time. And guess who’s going to be there?”

You look at the time on your phone wondering when the teacher is going to come. “ Who’s coming?” You fake a smile and twirl your pencil.

“Jimin’s coming. He asked me out on a date so I asked him if he wanted to chill.”

Wow he works fast. Heejin always has alcohol at her place; one drink wouldn’t hurt. “ Okay I’ll go but I can only go for an hour.” The teacher comes and class starts.

--

You show up to the kickback forty five minutes late. “ Y/N. Nice for you to show up,” Taehyung says while giving you a drink.

Taehyung is someone you rarely talk to, he’s the guy who just casually nods his head at you when you see each other around the hall. He’s also the guy you gave a handjob to.

“ Hey. I had to walk here. Thanks.” He looks out of place wearing oversized sweats and a hoodie. “ Where’s Heejin?” You should at least say hello to her ,stay for a while, and leave. He holds your hand and leads you upstairs to a door that is slightly ajared.

He whispers to you in your ear, “ She’s in there with Jimin.” You look in the small opening and you see her on his lap making out. So much for not kissing on the first date you think to yourself.

“ Is she drunk?” You whisper back to Taehyung.

“Most likely she had like five shots and a beer.” He opens the door slightly more, “ Aren’t you going to help your friend?”

Oh yeah she’s your friend. You opened the door more and walked into her bedroom. “ Heejin! I’m here!,” you smile at her as she turns her head at an angle to see you. Heejin smiles brightly and gets off of Jimin, and hugs you tightly.

“ You're here! I thought you weren’t going to come.” She pouts while holding your hands. Jimin coughs lightly and stands up from the bed. “ Oh this is Jimin. I don’t know if you guys like properly know each other.”  

You know Jimin quite alright, you probably know him more than she does. He’s the guy who paid over hundred dollars to get to know her more. Know her more than any instagram post. “ Hey, you're the guy that throws the football across the field and hopes that someone catches it. I’m Y/N,” you smile at him      

Jimin laughs and smiles brightly at you. You got to admit he’s an attractive guy and he’s stacked with money. Jimin and Heejin will make a good couple, they are both the same. “ Yeah that’s me. Nice meeting you.” He grabs his cup from the desk and looks into it, “I should get a refill. Anyone want more?”

Heejin is about to say something but someone interrupts her. “ No, I think they are good.” You turn to see Taehyung still waiting by the door. Jimin lets out a small okay and walks out kissing Heejin on the cheek. “ Alright, I should get home. It was nice seeing you Y/N. Thanks for the party Heejin.” With that said Taehyung leaves.

“ Are you and Taehyung something?” Heejin giggles at her own question.

“ No way. He was just talking to me.”

You ended up staying the whole time and helping Heejin clean up. Heejin knocks out the moment she lays on her bed. It’s really late, you should get home. You're about to lock Heejin’s front door until a girl yells to stop. You’ve seen her around campus. She's really pretty but you don’t know her name.

“ Hey I left my wallet in the house, I’ll be quick.” She goes into the living room and grabs her wallet. “ Hey, your Y/N, right?” You are surprised she knows your name, she’s way too popular, more popular than Heejin.

“ Yeah. That’s me...,” you say to her while walking away from Heejin’s house. “ And you are?”

She gives you a flash of surprise, “ Chaeyoung. Do you need a ride?” Chaeyoung points at her shiny black jeep.

“ Yeah, that would be great,” you smile at her. She is pretty and nice, huh.

When you enter her car it has the lingering smell of a new car. The dashboard was nice and shiny. You told her where you lived, looking outside the window you hum a familiar tune on the radio.

Chaeyoung asked softly while looking at the road,“ So Y/N how’s business these days?”

You froze at her question only a selective amount of people know about your so called business. If everyone knew of you what you do, then there would be no point in this business. You only had a few clients at school and mostly were rich boys wanting information on girls so they can date or hook up. Yeah, it sounds sleazy but it’s going to help pay for college.

“ Don’t freak out on me Y/N. It’s just a simple question,” she laughs while she looks at you at a frozen state. “ It was Hoseok who told me. I couldn’t believe that Hoseok managed to have sex with Miyeon. I know Miyeon, she’s sweet, pure, saving herself for marriage. And I asked myself how’d did Hoseok, a guy who likes to have sex with a new girl every month, have sex with her. I forced an answer out of him.”

That asshole can’t keep his mouth shut. What are you gonna do now, maybe you could try to lie and find a way to get out of this situation. You need this job.

“ I-,” you start to say.

“ I gotta admit it was pretty incredible that you managed to do that,” she lets out a whistle. “ Don’t worry Y/N, I won’t tell anyone.”

You felt a rush of a relief, “ Okay thanks.” You wipe your sweat from your hands and take out a piece of gum from your purse. You gave her a piece, she laughs while putting it in her mouth.

“ Since you're so good at your job, can I be your client,” she asked, tapping her light pink polish nails against the steering wheel.

This was the first time a girl asked you she wanted information on someone. “ It cost money,” you advise her.

“ I know a good amount of money, and I have a good amount of money,” she smiles and turns left. “ I need information about Jungkook.”

There’s no way you can do this job. First he’s a male and the chances of me trying to become him his friend would be impossible. Second he’s way too popular, he has his own group of friends that wouldn’t allow me to talk to him. Third, he's rich and powerful if he finds out that you did this to him, you don’t even know what will happen to you. Let’s try to veer her away from this person. You laugh cooly, “ Trust me you don’t need my help. You have a pretty smile, nice legs, and a new car. Plus, I see you are already close to Jungkook. You guys sit together at lunch with his other friends.”

Chaeyoung doesn’t say anything for the next few minutes and you think that she forgot about this subject but unfortunately she doesn’t. “ You know I have been Jungkook’s friend...or whatever he claims I am for like three years?,” she asked you. You hum for her to continue on. “...I want to be his girlfriend, something official. He’s very hot and rich, and his father has his own law firm and his mother is head surgeon of that new hospital. I think we will look good together...no I know we will look good together.” Chaeyoung parks her car in front of your house. “ I know I’m all those things you described me as but the problem is...I can’t seem to get to really know him. You know after we have sex he takes a shower and he just leaves. No pillow talks and even when I try to talk to him he puts up a wall, a fucking wall I can’t get over. So that’s when you come in Y/N, you do the impossible, and I need you to do this for me.”

“ I understand but—”

Chaeyoung interrupts before you can finish,“ I’ll pay you whatever you want. Does five thousand sound okay?” This girl is really desperate and really rich.

“ Okay, it sounds like a deal,” you stick your hand out and shake her hand. You can’t believe you are taking this deal, wow money does change a person's mind.

You are about to leave until her hand gently grabs your elbow. “ Here, consider it a deposit.” Chaeyoung gives you some cash. You bid your goodbyes and enter your house.

Entering your room you immediately lay on your bed sighing with exhaustion, you lift the money and start counting the money. “ 20,40,60,80...what the fuck…” you continue counting the money until it’s to five hundred dollars.

“ Here I come, Jungkook.”

--

“ Wait we really did make out! I’m so stupid you think I would have known the first time I did this,” Heejin says while placing her head in disappointment.

“ Wait, you were drunk when you lost your virginity?,” you asked. Stop pretending you care Y/N, she’s not your friend, you were paid to be her friend.

Heejin gives a sad glance and nods her head. You place your hands on her back rubbing it soothingly. “ Hey, it’s okay. If you ever want to talk about it, I’m all ears,” you smile at her and she smiles back.

“ Thank you, Y/N. I never had a good friend like you.” You roll your eyes jokingly, trying not to take the compliment to heart. “ Y/N, I really mean it. I gotta go to Calculus, see you later!”  

You enter your Chemistry classroom sitting down on your assigned seat.

 “ Okay settle down class. You know what today is? It’s lab day.”

You look to your left to see that your partner isn’t here. What was his name? Jinwoo no it wasn’t that...Jinhwan—“Y/N, Sangchul transferred to another school, go find another partner,” the teacher said loudly.

Looking around you see another student with an empty seat next to him. You stood in front of him and was shocked to see him. Jungkook. How convenient for you. You never knew he was in your class. “ Can I be your partner?,” you ask him. There was no one beside him so you naturally assumed he'd say yes.

“ I have a partner already,” Jungkook says it curtly. His eyes briefly make eye contact with yours and then he looks back at the textbook.

“ My bad I didn’t see him sitting right next to you, oh wait he’s not,” you sarcastically speak. You didn’t mean for it to come out like that he was being rude first. Jungkook looks at you and rolls his eyes. Fuck, he can’t hate you, you have to get close to him. “ Sorry I didn’t mean to sound like that. But can I please be your partner. It's only for this lab day. I may be shit at chemistry but I’m good at helping…,” you timidly smile. Jungkook ignores you and you are about to leave until he sighs loudly.

“ Fine. You can be my partner,” he pushes the chair out beside him. You silently cheer in your head. Jungkook is different from all the other people you work with. He’s harder to approach almost not welcoming than the others. Placing your things beside you, you stay at a safe distance from him. The teacher hands Jungkook the lab assignment instructions and he reads it for about three minutes, then hands it to you.

You briefly scan it and look at him, only to see his side profile, and he’s writing things in his lab notebook. You don’t want to bother him since you don’t want to get on his bad side. Occasionally Jungkook would make comments related to the lab and you would quickly jot them down on your own notebook. “ Sorry, I wasn’t much help,” you tell Jungkook.

“ It’s fine,” he says and reaches for the lab assignment paper by your hands. You give it to him and he quickly says thanks, handing it to the teacher.

He takes your lab notebook along with his and turns it to the front desk. You quickly slip your history notebook in his backpack before he comes back. “ See you later,” you leave with your belongings.

--

Chaeyoung is smoking in the school parking, leaning against her car. “ How’d it go?,” she asked once you got closer to her.

She offers you a cigarette and you shake your head no, “ Great, Jungkook said five sentences to me,” you kick a rock that was by you.

You look at her blow out the smoke in a different direction and she laughs, “ Sounds like him. At least he said something, when we first met he was silent the whole time.” She throws the cigarette on the floor and steps on it, “ We had sex this morning.”

“ Okay…” you say awkwardly. You didn’t need to know that but okay.

“ He’s being more distant than usual. I don’t mean to rush you but I’m running out of time here.” Chaeyoung grabs the mirror from her purse and reapplies her lipstick.

How the hell are you going to make him get closer to you? Jungkook is a difficult person to talk to and now Chaeyoung is rushing you. “ Okay, I’ll work faster.”

She smiles, “ Good.”

You walk back to the cafeteria and look around for Jungkook, he’s sitting down with the rest of his friends and he’s laughing. You walk closer to the table and Jimin is the first person to greet you. “ Y/N! How’s it going?,” he swings his arm over your shoulder. Jungkook looks towards you and is surprised to see you.

“ I’m doing good, Heejin told me you looked cute today,” you come up with an excuse. Jimin blushes and scratches his head. “ By the way is it cool for us to join you guys for lunch?,” you ask curiously.

“ Yeah join us!,” he exclaimed excitedly.

Heejin is talking to one of her other friends and you interrupt them “ Hey Heejin, Jimin invited us to eat with them.” She looks at you in shock and flushes when you drag her to the table.

Jimin invites her to sit with him, you stand along the table searching where you should sit. “ You can sit here,” one of Jungkook’s friends said. You sit between Jungkook and his friend. “ What’s your name?”

“ Y/N. And yours?,” you ask politely. You feel your thighs brushing up against Jungkooks and you scoot closer to his friend.

“ Namjoon. I think you are in my AP Physics class, you beat me with the highest mark on the test,” he jokingly states.

“ Oh, that’s you! You were always a point ahead of me so I finally decided to study a little bit. Wow, it feels good to see the person I beat,” you smile. Jungkook looks invested in the conversation but doesn’t say anything.

Namjoon barks a laugh, his dimples fully on display, “ A little bit? I’m impressed, you gotta show me your ways,” he nudges his elbow against you.

“ How do you suck at chemistry but not in AP physics?,” Jungkook asked you and you turned to look at him. “—Sorry it doesn’t make sense to me, physics is way harder than chemistry.”

Finally he decides to talk to you, baby steps Y/N. “ My dad is a Physics professor,” you tell both of them. Both of their eyes widen and you laugh, “ I’m kidding. I’m not sure why I’m really good at physics. What are you good at Jungkook? You look like you're good at Literature.”

Namjoon intervens, “ He’s good at everything.” Jungkook subtly rolls his eyes but Namjoon doesn’t see it, only you.

“ Oh is that so. Must be sad to be good at everything,” you say indirectly to Jungkook.

“ How so?,” Namjoon asked, pushing his glasses up. “ Being good at everything means you can accomplish anything.”

You think thoughtfully, “ People will always have this high standard of you though. If you don’t meet their expectation won’t you be useless since you are supposedly good at everything? Even if you could accomplish anything would you be accomplishing things that you want? I wouldn’t want to be perceived as someone who is good at everything, they must be really lonely.”

You look back at Jungkook and he stares at you for a long time. “ Excuse me, I need to use the restroom.” He leaves quickly and says goodbye to the rest of his friends.

“ Wow, he’s in a rush. So Y/N about that upcoming physics test…” Namjoon scoots closer to you.

--

You lay your head against the table in the library listening to your music and softly hum. A blue notebook comes into your view when it’s placed on the table. You sit up and see Jungkook standing by the table, you take your earphones off, “ I found your history notebook in my backpack, I don’t know how it got there,” he gives a skeptical look.

“ I’m not sure either, thanks anyways,” you lay your head back down. Jungkook looks at you closely and you laugh, “ Need company?”

He shakes his head and is about to leave but then turns back and sits right next to you, “ What’s wrong with you?”

“ Nothing just tired. I feel like I’m always tired, I don't know of what,” you continue to lay your head.

He taps his finger against the table lightly, “ It sounds like you're depressed.”

“ Probably.” Your fingers go beside his and lightly tap with his. “ Are you good at everything Jungkook?,” his fingers stop tapping.

“ Why do you care?,” Jungkook said defensively.

“ I don’t care,” you bring your hand closer to you. Any minute he’s going to give you a tragic story but then again he’s not like the others. Jungkook is cautious of you and he should have every right to be. “ What’s your favorite color?” You switch the conversation to ease the tension between you two.

“ Black,” he says quietly. You ask him why as you close your eyes. “ Black is simple, it’s not complicated. There’s no light or dark black. It’s just black.” You hum an okay and smile when he asks you what’s your favorite color.

“ Today it’s blue. I don’t have a favorite color because it always changes when different people ask me,” you sit up and look at him. “ I have to go, it takes forever for me to walk home. It was nice talking to you Jungkook.”

--

You start sitting next to Jungkook more often and Chaeyoung watches from the side. It goes on for weeks and your surprise that he hasn’t pushed you away. He talks to you in short sentences, never anything deep. You both are in the library individually listening to your own music. Your head is once again against the table, you feel Jungkook tap you on the back, you take your earphones out as a sign that you are listening. “ Y/N, what’s the thing that you are most afraid of?”

Why should you tell him? Jungkook is like every other person, someone you pretend to be friends with. He shouldn’t know anything about you but you tell him anyways. “ Getting old. Seeing yourself get old and people dying around you, wondering when your time is up. What about you Jungkook?”

“ You know the first time you hangout with us at lunch, that scared me the most. I like how closed off my friend group is, it scares me when new people come into my life. I don’t know what they want...I don’t know what I’m saying,” he sighs and lays his head next to you. Both of you stare at each other and his eyes are shining, you hate how hopeful it looks so you close your eyes.

“ You fear me?,” you ask softly.

“ No,” he clarifies.

It is silent for a while and he finally speaks “ I was in middle school when my dad introduced me to one of his interns at his work. Areum, that was her name, she just got out of law school. She was nice and pretty...I saw them having sex in my dad’s office. I hated her so much I slashed her tires and broke her mirrors.” You open your eyes and his eyes are closed. “ My mom knows that my dad has affairs, she just lets it happen.”

He must be lonely at his house. “ What’s your favorite food?,” you ask Jungkook.

“ Pork belly. Yours?,” he smiles for the first time at you.

“ Today it is kimchi fried rice.”

He sighs, “ Why do you always do that Y/N?”

“ Do what?”

“ Tell me things that other people want to hear. You did it with the ‘what’s your favorite color question too’. I really want to know what you like and hate,” Jungkook says softly.

You flush a little, never ever having to tell what you want or what you like. “ I like Sundubu-jjigae. My Dad used to make it for me when I was younger,” you smile to yourself.

Jungkook chuckles, “ When you were younger, you make it sound like you're in your mid thirties. Why doesn’t he make it for you anymore?” He is disappointed to see your smile disappear when he asks this question.

“ He’s busy,” you want to tell Jungkook all your troubles but you swallow them. “ Wake me up in 15 minutes,” you close your eyes and rest on the hard table.

--

Chaeyoung invites you to her party and you really don’t want to go but you have to. Once you enter the party you go straight to the alcohol, taking two shots before looking for Chaeyoung. She’s smoking outside and standing beside her, she offers you a hit and you take it.

“ How’s it going with him?” she immediately asked.

You blow the smoke away from her, “Good I guess, he’s gotten closer to me.” You hand the blunt back to her.

“ I can tell. Anything important he said?”

There’s always a small part of you that feels guilty when you have to tell the clients shared secrets. “ His dad is having an affair with his interns. He hates that his mom doesn’t say anything. He’s sad that he can never love or be loved.”

“ Hm, good work. Do you think he’ll ever love me?” Chaeyoung gives a new blunt and you take it.

No Jungkook will never love Chaeyoung. “ Yes. Just give him time.”

“ Okay.” She smiles bashfully to herself. “ Keep up with the good work.” And with that she leaves you. You look at the blunt in your hands and put it in your pocket.

You walk around her house looking at her pictures that are against the wall. She looks like the only child, the house looks big and pristine despite all the people here, she must be spoiled. You go upstairs to use the bathroom and then you stay there for thirty minutes watching videos on your phone. You get a text from Namjoon to see if you were at the party, you tell him yes and go downstairs. “ Hey Y/N! Studied hard for the test tomorrow?”

“ Of course not, I’m here partying,” you smile at him giving him a drink. Namjoon laughs and goes to the dance floor.

“Hey Y/N.” Jungkook says.

“ What’s up. Wanna get high?” You take the blunt and wave it in front of his face.

He laughs and smiles at you, nodding his head yes. Jungkook leads you to a bedroom and you assume it’s Chaeyoung because there's pictures of her and her friends. You go towards her window and open, you feel a cold breeze and you shiver. “ Here,” he pulls his hoodie off and hands it to you.

“ Uh, Thanks,” you put over you and immediately feel warmth. It smells like him. You don’t know how to describe it but it’s nice. You light up the joint and inhale the smoke letting it consume your lungs. Jungkook takes the joint and does the same. He blows it out and sighs in content.

“ This is some good shit. Who did you get this from?,” Jungkook sits down on the bed.

“ Your girlfriend. The tall pretty girl who always wears red lipsticks,” you laugh and lay on the bed with your joint close by. He doesn’t say anything and you pass the joint to him. It goes on like this for a while just passing it back and forward until there wasn’t nothing left. You throw the butt in the trashcan by the bed. Jungkook lays beside you looking at the ceiling and chuckles.

“ She’s not my girlfriend. Just someone who’s using me,” he turns sideways to look at you. “ But it’s okay I’m using her too,” he says softly.

The weed makes you feel light and you are not functioning straight. And for that reason the words that came out his mouth made you laugh. They are all using each other including you. Jungkook gives you weird stares but smiles anyways asking you what’s funny. “ Nothing I’m just really fucking high and I haven’t been high in a long time,” you try to wipe the tears in your eyes but you feel his hands wiping them away. His fingers brush against your cheek and he is staring into your eyes. If this was a romantic novel both you guys would've kissed but it’s not. The warmth of his hand is gone and it feels cold, you don’t deserve to feel his warmth. “ If you don’t mind me asking how are you guys using each other?”

 Jungkook sighs, “ Chaeyoung only wants me because I come from a rich family. I would be like a prize or something to her. I only use her for sex. Just meaningless sex,” he looks at you to see if your expression has changed but it didn’t. If Jungkook can see it so easily then why doesn’t Chaeyoung see it.  “ Have you ever used anyone Y/N?”

“ You,” you say mindlessly. What if you told him the truth would Jungkook still want to be your friend? He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. “ Yeah, when I asked to be your partner in chemistry.” Jungkook laughs at your statement and scoots closer to you.

“You’re so pretty,” he lets out under his breath.

Your heart skips a beat but you shouldn’t feel this way. “ And you are high.” You laugh while pushing his chest a little. Your hands feel his toned chest blushing you pull your hands away.

“ I am but you are still pretty. I thought you were pretty the first time I saw you. Also a little bit mean,” he smiles thoughtfully. His hand reaches to the fallen strands of your hair pushing it back from your face.

“ Of course you would remember being mean,” you roll your eyes.

“ Yeah you made a bad impression. It’s okay I like you.” He continues to make eye contact to see your reaction.

Fuck Jungkook likes you. Why does he have to make it so much harder than it already is? And why do you feel happiness when he confesses to you? “Why do you like me?”

“ You understand me. I could talk to you about anything and you just know how I feel.”

“Jungkook I—”

“It’s okay you don’t need to say anything,” he pinches your cheek and laughs. “God I’m so hungry we—”

“Jungkook can you kiss me?” You bite your bottom lip nervously and play with the string of his hoodie.

He doesn't say anything but leans closer, “ Are you sure?” Nodding your head and closing your eyes, you hope that this kiss doesn’t affect you in any way. His lips kiss you carefully while his hand holds your cheek. It feels nice, it’s not like that kind of kiss that makes you feel like you're in heaven or that you find the answer to every unsolvable question. But it feels like you can kiss him and you won’t have to worry about anything.

He pulls back with hazy eyes and a smile, you pull him back for a second kiss. His tongue traces your bottom lip asking for permission to enter, and you grant him. The position is uncomfortable since you are both laying on the side so he hovers over while you keep kissing him. His lips leave yours and you whine a little, and he laughs but continues his kisses to your neck. The feeling of lips on your neck makes you feel warm all over your body. He bites your skin on a sensitive part of your neck and you gasp.

“ Jungkook…” You sighed. He groans and you place your hands on his hair, tugging it lightly so he can return to your lips. One of his hands goes to rest between his hoodie you’re wearing and your shirt, caressing your stomach. The kisses become more desperate and you start to feel his hard member against your core.

He pulls back from the kiss and looks at you with a fond smile,“ Y/N, I like you a lot. I haven’t felt this way with anyone before.” He rests his head against your neck, laying completely on you.

Laughing you play with his hair, “ You’re heavy!”

“ Just let me stay here for a while,” he muffles against your neck. You turn your head to the side and see the picture of Chaeyoung and her friends. Fuck what are you doing Y/N.  

--

You are walking to your Literature class and feel someone pull you into a classroom. It’s the art classroom where students normally work on pieces and leave them there to be secured. Taehyung locks the door and stares at you with a deadly glare, crossing your arms. “ What the hell are you doing Y/N?”

“ What the hell am I doing? What the hell are you doing?” You try to leave but he steps in front of the door. “ Move, Taehyung.”

“ What are you planning to do with Jungkook?”

You scoff and look around the room, “ Nothing.” You weren’t surprised that Taehyung knew what was going on, he was always suspicious of you even with Jimin.

“ Y/N, don’t fucking play dumb. You especially don’t want to fuck with me,” he says sternly.

“ Why does this concern you?”

“ Because Jungkook is my friend! I don’t want him to get hurt because of this stupid game you like to play.”

You laugh bitterly, “ A game? You think this is a game?”

“ Well I’ve seen the shit you do Y/N, you’ve done with Hoseok and Jimin. And now Jungkook. Just to have fun playing with people’s feelings.  Stay the hell away from him,” he turns his back from you.

“ Wait up asshole,” you grab his wrist so he can look at you. “ You don’t have the right to talk to me like that. You think I do this for fun? Huh, you think I like fucking do this. Not everyone is as privileged as you,” you rant and there’s angry tears starting to fall out.

Taehyung’s face shows nothing but confusion, “ Y/N...why are you crying?”

You wipe the tears away, “ I don’t like it Taehyung. I really don’t. I just need the money for college.” You push him to the side so you can exit the classroom but he stops you.

“ Y/N, I can help you. My dad knows people that can give you high paying job-”

“ Stop, I don’t want your pity.”

“ Shut up and listen to me,” he says and you give him a glare. “ Sorry, but I just don’t want you to do this anymore Y/N. I can tell it’s hurting you. Please stop this and tell Jungkook the truth.”

--

The library is empty and it’s just the two of you silently working on school work. “ Want to play Xbox at my house?” You stop typing your essay when Jungkook asks you this.

Sighing you close the laptop, “Yeah, I’m beat with this essay.” He helps you pack up your stuff and leads you to his car. It’s your first time in his car and it suits him. As he continues driving to his home you pass through multiple affluent neighborhoods. Finally when you arrive at his place your eyes widen. It's bigger than Chaeyoung and it’s front lawn looks so green and spacious.

After silently gawking at the inside of his house he leads you to his room. You immediately are fond of the scent and the pictures of the room. A picture frame is placed on his desk, grabbing it you smile. “ That’s me and Taehyung. When we were younger.”

“Kim Taehyung?”

“ Yeah we are great friends, he doesn’t hangout with us during lunch since he is busy finishing touches on his art portfolio for college,” he says while setting the Xbox on. “ You two know each other?,” he looks back at you with a curious gaze.

“ Not really. We had art history together ,” you casually say while you sit on his bed.

Few hours passed and your multiple losses with his video games had made you upset but it was fun. You never had this much fun in a long time. He laughs when he kills in the video game and you throw a pillow at his head. “C’mon don’t be a sore loser,” he grabs your remote and places it on his console.

“ I have every right to be, you don't even give me a chance,” you pout and lay down on his bed. Your skirt rises showing more skin and Jungkook stares at it. His fingers brush your thighs carefully, you flush at the nice sensation. He looks away from your legs and throws a small blanket on them, and sits on his bed with his back against the headboard. You copy his actions and lay your head against his shoulder just looking at his black screen tv. “ Have you ever cared for someone, Jungkook?”

“ I would say no but I would be lying to myself,” he touches your hair carefully. You lean into his touch like a needy kitten. “What about you?”

“ I’m starting to care for someone but I’m scared I might hurt him—“

“Then don’t,” Jungkook said sternly. “...Don’t hurt him. Don’t hurt me,” this time he says softly. You turn to look at him and he looks beautiful with his soft features but determined eyes. He closes the gap between you two and kisses you gently. It’s warm, you feel warm like everything is perfect but it’s not.

“ Jungkook we shouldn’t,” you lightly push his chest. He looks at you with hurt and confusion but backs off.“I just...I don’t want to complicate things.”

He looks lost and searches for your eyes, “ I don’t understand… I thought you like me… I like–“

“ Please Jungkook, you don’t like me. You say you like me but your having sex with other people. You're just fascinated with me because you're lonely…you don’t like me. No one will,” you say quickly and rush to get your things.

“ What the hell are you talking about?,” he voice rises. “ Chaeyoung is nothing to me. I haven’t had sex with her since we like met. Don’t you dare call me fucking lonely when your fucking lonely yourself. You analyze people thinking you're better than everyone, guess what you're not. You're just good at lying to yourself,” he finishes and pushes his head hair back in frustration.

You don’t say anything because all of those were true and it hurts to hear him say it. “Goodbye Jungkook,” you quickly walk out of his house despite him calling your name.

—-

It’s been a few days since the fight with Jungkook and you’ve been dreading to get up each morning. The rainy weather fits your mood and you're done with all this shit. You send Chaeyoung a text if you can talk to her and she invites you to her house.

You're in front of her house door and you open it since she said she left it open for you. Walking upstairs you hear moaning and you halt. It’s coming from her bedroom and your heart stops. “Fuck–Jungkook! Please don’t stop!” The sound of the bed frame hitting the wall is making your head hurt so you back down stairs to the living and wait there. Listening to Jungkook and Chaeyong have sex put a pang on your heart. You really thought Jungkook liked you and now you feel like a fool.

You hear them stop wiping your tears and fixing yourself up, you hear footsteps coming down stairs. Pretending to type vigorously on the keyboard on your phone you make yourself look busy. “Y/N?,” you look up to see Jungkook and it hurts even more to see him. He’s lightly shining because of the sweat and there’s red marks on his neck.

You try to smile at him but it's just filled with sadness, “ Hey. I just needed to give her something.”

“ Y/N, it’s not what you–fuck I’m stupid. Can we talk later or something? Please I want to talk to you,” Jungkook pleads as he tries to grasp your hands. “I’m sorry about everything and this meant nothing I was sad and she–

“ It’s okay. I’ll see you later,” you squeeze his hand. Jungkook gives you a hopeful look.

You walk upstairs and Chaeyoung is lying down naked on her bed with her phone in her hands. You see her clothes on the floor and you hand it to her. It hurts to see her lying in bed breathless because of Jungkook. She dresses while you talk, “ I don’t want to do this anymore. The contract is cancelled.”

Chaeyoung's eyes widened, “Why?” You don’t answer her and look away as she throws away the used condom on the floor. “You caught feelings for Jungkook, huh? I can tell the way you look at him and the way he looks at you. I didn’t pay you to fucking make him fall in love with you Y/N.”

“ It’s not that...he doesn’t like you, okay. He already knows that you want him because he’s wealthy and hot. It’s pointless to continue this”

“ And what about you Y/N? He likes you because you are not using him? Last time I checked you were getting paid to use him.”

“Whatever I’m done.”

“I’ll tell him what you do,” Chaeyoung threatens you.

“ I was going to tell him anyways. Don’t forget you are the one who paid me to do this, we are both not innocent,” you leave her house.

You lay in bed for a couple days not bothering to go to school. You tell your mom that you have bad period cramps and she doesn’t attempt to force you to go to school. Jungkook texted you multiple times but you're too scared to read his messages. After three days you decided to go to school and you dread it, you purposely walk slower as you walk there.

“ It’s lab day guys! Nice for you to come to class Y/N,” the teacher welcomes as you enter the class late. You are walking to your desk until she interrupts, “ Y/N sit by Jungkook, his partner isn’t here today.”

You walk towards the empty desk beside him and look at the lab assignment that was on the desk. “ Where were you these past days? I kept texting you but you didn’t answer. I’m sorry that you saw me at Chaeyoung’s house. I still mean what I said at the party... ” Jungkook bites his lip trying to see your face but you're staring down at the assignment. “Y/N…”

You hear every word that he says but it still hurts that he had sex with her but then it wasn’t like if you guys were together. “ The first answer has a frequency of 1.9 GHz,” you say. You did the calculations in your head. The first time you met you lied to him saying that you were bad at chemistry. “ I lied to you Jungkook, I’m good at chemistry. I’m sorry.”

He looks at you with confusion, “ It’s okay... but are you okay? You don’t look well,” he checks if you have fever by letting his hand rest on your forehead.

“ Are you really okay with me lying to you?,” you say quietly. His hands leave your forehead and look at you carefully. “ I need to tell you something.”

“ Jungkook, Y/N! Are you guys done flirting, the assignment is due after class,” the teacher yells out from the front of the class. You hear a couple students chuckling and Jungkook rolls his eyes.

“ We will talk about this later, okay? He pats your thigh and continues to solve the problems.

You are both outside for lunch sitting in his car. “ You can tell me anything Y/N. I’m here for you,” Jungkook stares at you and grabs your hand.

“ I was paid to get close to you Jungkook,” you say without taking breath.

“ What?,” he laughs incredulously. You don’t laugh with him, “ Is this a joke?,” he says seriously.

“ No it’s not. I get paid by certain people you want to be with a person. I get their secrets and what’s so important to them and tell the person who’s paying.” You look at him and there’s a million questions that’s going on inside of him. “ Chaeyoung paid me, Jungkook.” He stops holding your hand and gives you a hard stare. “ I’m sorry, I am really sorry. I wish I could take it back but I can’t.”

He lets out a humourless laugh, “ Wow, and I was stupid enough to tell you everything. I told fucking things that I haven’t told anyone and you tell her. And to believe that I actually thought you liked me, cared for me--”

“ I do care! I like you so much Jungkook that for once in my life I was happy and I wasn’t tired,” you plead with tears in your eyes.

“ Get out. You used me, I don’t think I can ever so your face again. Leave.” Jungkook looks out his window not wanting to see your face as you leave his car.

“ Hey Y/N, where have you been? I’ve been looking everywhere--,” Heejin says but you hug her crying into her shoulder. “ It’s okay let it all out,” she pats your back soothing your whimpers.

“ I’m so sorry Heejin. I’m sorry, thank you for being my friend but I ruined it all,” you cry out. You feel Heejin looking around the halls and she leads you to the bathroom.

“ How...what have you ruined?” Heejin softly asks while pushing your hair out of your face.

“ I do awful things. You won’t like me after I tell you.” You look at her and she looks like an angel with her white dress.

She shakes her head, “ Tell me and I will find a way to understand.”

You tell her what you do and she looks confused half the time as you explain it going through each client you had but never stating their name. You expect her to yell at you, to look at you in shame, or just to simply leave but she doesn't do either of those things. Instead she hugs you tight, “ You must have been going through a rough time being all by yourself.”

“ Heejin… Jimin paid me to do this to you. I’m sorry, I don’t deserve your--”

“ But you told me the truth right now, you understand what you did was wrong and you are apologizing for it.” You shake your head and the tears are slowing down but your heart still hurts. “ It takes two people to make a transaction, you shouldn’t be the only one hurting, Y/N.”

“ Thank you Heejin. I..I uh I want to thank you for being a good friend. If we can still be friends…”

“ Y/N stop. We are still friends. Let’s get out of the restroom, it smells like weed,” she smiles and grabs your hand. You walk together towards her car and she tells you what’s been going on with her cat. It goes silent when she mentions Jimin. “ I have to talk about this to him,” she sighs and you squeeze her hand lightly.

The weeks pass by and you’re in your AP Physics class when Namjoon decides to sit next to you. “Why haven’t you’ve been sitting with us anymore?” He whispers while the teacher is lecturing.

“I’ve been busy with college admissions,” you tune out the teacher’s voice. He does a bad job at teaching anyways.

“Something happened between you and Jungkook, right ?”

“Why would you even need to ask me if you knew it already.” You roll your eyes and solve the problems for today’s homework.

“ You know I wanted to ask you out after you started hanging out with us.” He gives you a cheeky smile and you laugh. “ I told Jungkook that I was into you this was before the Chaeyong’s party...and he told me that you’re not into people with glasses.”

“Why would I not be into people with glasses when I sometimes wear them?” You stifle laughter with your hand.

He barks out a laugh and the teacher looks at you two but continues on. “ Jungkook doesn’t think through things. But I caught on that little Jungkookie had a crush on you.”

“ Not anymore,” you sigh.

“ Talk to him please. He looks like shit, he always looks at your table at lunchtime. Contemplating how to talk to you,” he looks at your homework and checks his answer.

“ What if he doesn’t want to listen to me?” You look at his answer to see a significant difference.

“He’ll listen. If he doesn’t tell him that you are going to date me,” he says jokingly. “ Y/N please help me with this,” pointing at his obvious wrong answer.

Heejin is waiting for you in the school parking lot wanting to eat at a new ramen place. Walking to her car you hear your name being called and it’s from Chaeyoung. What does she want, walking to her you, you see her smoking. “ Make it quick.”

“What a way to greet me,” she chuckles. “ How are you?” She flicks the cigarette on the floor and steps on it.

“ Good. See you later.” You say and turn around to leave.

“ We are still having sex.”

You stop and feel anger and sadness rising within you but you put it aside, “What do you want?”

“ I heard him cry when he was in the shower after we were done. I also heard him moan your name once when we were doing it.” She rolls her eyes and sighs, “ It’s meaningless sex anyways. I’m always facing away from him so he won’t see my face.”

“ Funny how he’s still talking to you,” you scoff. Jungkook doesn’t even look your way but he’s able to have sex with Chaeyoung.

“ He’s not talking to me, he fucks and just leaves. I guess that’s my punishment,” she arches her brow and shrugs her shoulder.

“You shouldn’t be punished like that Chaeyoung. It's not healthy for you,” you tell her softly.

“ I know,” she smiles tiredly. “ I’m putting an end to it, I can’t do this to myself, to him...to you.” You nod your head and part ways until she stops you, “Here like I promised.”

“No I don’t want it,” you stop her from giving you money. “ Chaeyoung it will make me feel bad.”

“Okay. See you later,” she goes into her car and walks the opposite way.

“Finally you're here! I’m starving!” Heejin yells with excitement as you enter her car.

“ This place better be good.” You tell her and she rants on how she always picks good restaurants. Your phone lights up and you see a notification from your bank. Did you forget to pay a bill. $10,000 has been transferred to your checking account.

---

The next day you decide to approach Jungkook during lunch and you get very nervous, shaking your leg throughout class. You walk with Heejin to his table and Jimin greets you. “ Hey Y/N,” he nods at you and  whisk Heejin from you, greeting her with kisses all over her face. Heejin confronted Jimin that day you broke down, they were able to talk it out and now they are dating.

“ Y/N! Sit here,” Namjoon pats next to the empty space between him and Namjoon. Jungkook doesn’t look at you just staring at his phone and browsing his social media.

“ Hey guys,” you sit down trying not to bump into Jungkook. Namjoon tells you how he fell down his bike while showing you his scrape. Jungkook doesn’t join the conversation just silently watching you both talk. You catch him a few times looking at you and your heart races a little.

The bell rings indicating lunchtime is over and everyone disperses while you take your time throwing your trash. “ Hey.” Jungkook is standing beside you and throws his trash away.

“ Hey,” you say back quietly. “ How’s your day?”

“ Good.” He scratches his neck and looks around the cafeteria. “ Are you going to the library?”

“ Yeah… you want to join me?” Please say yes.

“ Yeah I’ll come.” Jungkook walks beside you whistling lightly. The library is empty and you chose a table near the back.

“ I miss you,” Jungkook speaks out and looks at you.

Your eyes widen, “ I miss you too.”  

“ Why do you do it?”

“ What?”

“ I just want to know why you do it, is it for fun or money?” Jungkook scoots closer to you wanting to hear you clearly.

“ I don’t have enough money to go to college. I don’t want my parents to worry about paying for it. They work too hard. Adding my college tuition to their bills will take a toll on them. I don’t like what I do but I do it anyway.” You cut off the eye contact, looking away in shame.

Jungkook sighs and grabs your hand, “ I’m sorry. I got hot headed and ignored you. It would’ve been easier to not get mad at you if I heard your reasoning.” You look at him and he wipes your tears. “ Y/N...I uh I had sex with Chaeyoung during our time apart. I’m sorry I was mad and I wanted to hurt the both of you. I realized how much of a dick I was…”

“It’s okay Jungkook. I’m sorry too,” you sheepishly smile.

“Can we start all over?” He gives you his signature bunny smile and the butterflies flutter in your belly.

“Yes please,” you lean forward and hug tightly. He rubs your back and your entrance with the feeling of comfort.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Do not repost, translate, or alternate my work in any way, onto any platform. I do not take plagiarism lightly.