#i am not a good person

[thetalee]

...ohmygod, there's a detail I can include in Born for Adversity that makes something that happened in Darling, So It Goes so much worse.

[miss-umman-manda]

I could’ve stopped it, but I didn’t and now I have to live with it

[thistaleisabloodyone]

Not gonna post the links to Route A or Route C because those videos are already several hundred views ahead despite being posted after Route B's and I am still resentful as fuck over the top comment on the Route B video being about Kazuma

[realguitarcenter]

jealousy is literal poison. what do you mean i can feel my heart sink and scoff over a stupid screenshot that my friend sent me of their better and funnier and less bleak and much less boring friend sent them. that's so stupid i would never have that happen haha (spoiler alert i'm lying)

[pleasesendfrogs]

TW: transphobia, suicide mentions, ableism, racism, basically everything horrible white people created.

ever since i was little, i knew that i was different. i knew the way that my brain worked was unique. i knew the way that i acted was odd. i was different.

i loved the way that teachers said "everybody is unique!" because it made me feel like maybe, just maybe, i wasn't wrong. it only took a little while for me to realize that "everybody" didn't include me.

i knew i was a girl, but i didn't want to be. not in the sense that i didn't want to do stereotypical little girl things, i did, oddly enough, but in the sense that i was not a girl. maybe i was a boy, i thought, but maybe i was something else.

i came out as queer at age eleven. i was young, but i knew that i loved women and that i shouldn't love women. my mother took it well, although she thought it was a phase. my dad, an autistic, emotionally unavailable man didn't want "that life" for me.

i questioned my gender for the entirety of middle school, but when a child less than a year younger than me came out as transgender, their father killed himself. i decided to drop any idea of being trans.

i wore a pride flag to school one day as a protest.

i was scared, and i kept it in my bag mostly, but during the morning, i had it over my shoulders like a cape; i was a superhero. apparently superheros aren't invulnerable to slurs and rocks being thrown at them, because that night i attempted suicide for the first time in my life.

i watched as people purposefully misgendered trans kids. i watched as parents came to school board meetings, arguing that the sixteen year old with crippling dysphoria was going to cause their children to turn gay. i watched as the child whose father killed himself said that it was just a phase, he couldn't be gay. i watched as slurs were written on bathroom walls and before i knew it, i was the only queer kid left at my school; everyone else had left.

i ignored any questions i had about who i was; i lost my identity. i was a graveyard of hopes and dreams for a normal life. still, no matter how hard i tried, no matter how many masks i wore, no matter how many jokes i made, i was not normal.

i became popular. i was openly queer, and although some people still yelled at me for it, still threw things, most people ignored it. in return, i ignored the slurs about trans people. i ignored the red-necked, white teenagers as they compared trans people to nazis. i ignored the hatred. i ignored it until a black hole formed in my gut. i ignored it because they weren't saying it about me, no, they said i was "one of the good ones," and at least i wasn't trans, because maybe being gay could be forgivable to the lord, but not being trans, never that.

the black hole grew and it sucked up every ounce of dignity i thought i had. it swallowed and grew until there was nothing left of me, i was the black hole.

and when i lost my popularity, when i realized it was just a ploy to make them feel better about themselves, i accepted it. i became the black hole.

i grew to become something they hated, something unforgivable.

[berriweb]

Wait- is 42 y(n still alive? What happened to her? Will we see her again?

if i was a good person id just tell you instead of leaving y’all hanging and waiting for me to post the next part to find out what happened to yn and why she disappeared

[vivid-stupido]

I think my autocomplete hates me :(

type “i am” in the tags and whatever comes up first is your new mandatory kin

[lo-fag]

idk man. i just think itd be really cool if sign language classes were mandatory throughout primary school. yeah because it would make communication with deaf kids and autistic/nonverbal kids much easier. and those kids would be accessible to the others so they could make friends and have healthy relationships. yeah. and kids would eat that shit up man. like their own little secret language? they love that.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Hey now, Let her cook!

[hilacopter]

tbh ryoko kui cooked with this one why is this the funniest image I have ever seen

[floccinaucinihilipilificationa]

[angrybell]

Next name needs to be checked off the list.

[kimmkitsuragi]

oh my fucking god i don't have any clothesssss

[teaboot]

You need to make art that nobody else likes. You need to make art that speaks to you alone. You need to cradle a serpent that eats its own tail and you need to love it until it loves you back

[ale-arro]

been going a little bit insane about this sentence from Ace by Angela Chen for the past week

[heartorbit]

happy halloween! 🎃🐈‍⬛👻🐇