#i am literally going to get roasted like a fucking marshmallow dude

[morgana-ren]

What about the mall episode gets you?

So uhhhh in the episode, Tomura basically holds Deku hostage by uhhhhhh choking him. Hard. Like sits down next to him, starts hissing in his ear, toys with him for a moment and then puts his hand around his neck and taunts him— and then straight up chokes him out in manic frenzy.

It's not a sexual thing at all, like it's literally a threat but holy fuck dude I saw that when my mother was in the room and I had to leave. Like literally his hands are huge and dangerous and they're attached to HIM and I can't see the mall episode without turning into a bright red puddle.

[diesukitsuki]

i suddenly crave marshmallows and imagine going on a camping trip with katsuki.

he’s in charge of the map and making sure y’all having everything packed. hiking up early morning and look for the best spot, setting up the tent and getting frustrated when it collapses.

the taste of ‘roasted’ marshmallows on your tongue, just melting in your mouth. the fire lights up his face in a warm glow, flames flicking in his eyes and you can’t look away when he catches you staring.

after an hour of talking (for some reason i can hear him laugh very loud in my head) and almost falling asleep on his shoulder, you’re crawling in your sleeping bag with a smile on your face.

just a dumb thought, sorry

OH MY GOD?????? why didn't i see this??

Please.. m literally on my fucking knees dude. I love the image that plays in my head when I see him casted in a glow of orange.

When Katuski is bathed in the warm glow of the fire, he looks like a dream. The fire crackles through the barely quiet forest, whispering secrets of the wood. Telling him every crevice it had slipped into, making it expand and pop. When he catches you staring, his marshmallow is on fire and so is your heart. His sleepy eyes catches the passionate colors of the fire as he mirrors your stare. It reflects off of his ruby reds. Treasures that rests in his skull. It pierces you, and you feel breathless. Tired.. but not tired. Relaxed--Tranquil, even when your soul is weeping and your heart is turning into ash.

Am I burning alive? You think to yourself. You had to be, or else this is a dream. No one can sit still and be on fire. No one can perceive anything else and be on fire. No one can love and be on fire.. because when you're on fire.. well, you're dead, you're screaming your fucking head off --or something fucking crazy like that. 

Yeah, that must be it. You’re dead.. and he’s.. he’s a slice of heaven. 

Katuski's the first one look away. Not wanting to destroy the forest that coddled the two of you, he blows out the fire on his marshmallow. It's charred to fucking hell, and you let out a huff of laughter. His burnt-goo-on-a-stick is an ironic piece, going against the fact that he's a self-proclaimed Michelin star chef. His taste buds having high standard.. though not high enough to not think burnt marshmallows was basically eating sugar and smoke. He rolls his eyes, a smirk tugging at his lips.

"What's so funny?" It's non-threatening.

"Nothing." You giggle. "Just didn't expect.. well, that from you."

"You're basically askin' me to eat unseasoned food, if you think I'm eating it raw."

“Only you would call it raw.” You cackle. 

“Shut it before I burn this whole forest down.” 

[ceilingfan5]

400 followers giveaway winner!

congrats @himbotaako...here are the mermaids you wanted!

Taako should be at the Marine Institute, you know, doing his job, but he’s surfing. And who could blame him? The weather is gorgeous, the sun is bright but not too hot, the waves are just perfect, and also paperwork can kiss his ass. He didn’t get into marine biology to drink bad coffee and do paperwork, or worse, math. He got into it to learn about the world and fucking help animals. 

So when the weirdest possible thing happens, Taako could argue he was actually out there doing his job. Because he finds something beautiful, something impossible, something no one has probably seen before...or rather...someone. 

He finds a merman. 

He’s beached near this enormous rock outcropping Taako and his sister used to camp out on when they were teens, roasting marshmallows and their classmates and laughing at scarier and scarier stories told with the drama of a 14 year old with nothing better to do. He hasn’t been there in years, partially because they kind of assumed it was private land and didn’t want to get caught trespassing somewhere people might actually go. It’s a weird pang of nostalgia that he has to shake off, because he sees a man bleeding into the sand, gasping for air and gripping his side, hair splayed out around him like a watery renaissance painting. 

“Holy fuck,” Taako says, for lack of literally any other way to react. “Holy fuck,” he repeats, eyeing the man’s long, black, shimmering fish tail. 

“Help,” the man chokes out, and Taako nearly freezes, the same two words on his lips again. 

“Sure,” he says instead, although he hasn’t got a clue what to do. 

“Water-?” 

“Right, right, right, right!” Taako unfreezes and takes action. No matter what he has to do, he’s not letting this beautiful man bite it. They could learn so much. They could discover so many things about the ocean. 

Also, he’s cute as hell, and Taako has some Thoughts and Feelings along those lines. 

“Hold tight,” he grunts, and he puts his arms under the merman’s shoulders and heaves him toward the surf, slowly but surely. The blood worries him, but land isn’t too far away, and if he can get him back to the Institute, Taako can take care of that. Probably. 

Hopefully. 

Inch by inch, Taako drags the man through the sand. He’s fucking heavy, which isn’t great, but makes sense if he’s a deep sea creature that needs to stay warm and handle the pressure, and Taako shakes himself, trying not to nerd out while he’s saving a life. Nerd time later. Hero time now. He finally gets into the water and lays the man out just deep enough to completely cover him, and the merman sighs deeply. There are gills on his neck and sides, Taako notices with absolute fascination, and they’re torn on his left side. Taako has to wonder from what. 

The merman presses a firm hand to the wound and, to Taako’s complete thrill and befuddlement, it begins to glow, literally glow. Like, for real. Taako hopes he hasn’t hit his head on a fucking rock or something, because the implications here are fucking delicious. Merman magic. 

The wound seems to close up most of the way, but the merman winces and it gets a little bigger again. Taako frowns. 

“What, no good?” 

The merman shakes his head. At least the bleeding has mostly stopped. Taako gets his surfboard and hefts the merman atop it, and before the merman can object, he’s paddling his way back to the goddamn shore. 

“Name’s Taako,” he says, nearly out of breath, because again: fucking heavy dude. No offense. The adrenaline may have something to do with it too, because Taako’s insides feel like a Ferris Wheel on turbo mode. He can practically hear the bad music playing in his head as he kicks through the water with more urgency than he’s had since his last high school swim meet. 

“Kravitz,” the merman groans out. “Where...”

“Just chill.” 

The back dock is open, which is more luck than Taako could probably have hoped for, and that means Taako only has to carry the guy a little ways into the Institute. The staff is small, after their latest budget cuts, and most of them are probably out to lunch, if the sun in the sky is anything to go by. Taako hates watches, especially surfing. 

Taako bodily lifts the guy into the nearest hospital tank. 

Kravitz yelps and then stares at Taako with incredible betrayal through the thick glass. 

“I’m sorry! I had to do something! You should be thanking my ass for getting you this far!”

Kravitz leans against the side and squirms enough to get his head above water while still clutching his wound. 

“Your ass?” he intones. His eyebrows explain in careful detail that he is not impressed. 

“Jesus. How much English do you know, anyway?” 

“Enough,” Kravitz says. “Can you...can you fix this?”

“I can try. Why didn’t your, uh, your magic healing-dealy work?“ 

“Too tired. The water...it is bad, also.” 

“Huh,” Taako says. “Can’t say this stuff is much better, but the saline content should be decent.”

“It is...what is the word. Stagnant,” Kravitz says, his eyebrows announcing further disapproval. 

“Again, you’re welcome?” Taako grabs the nearest kit he can find. The tank is already at a decent height, or Taako never would have gotten him in, but he has to kind of nudge Kravitz to roll over. Kravitz continues to be unimpressed. “Let me see, you waterlogged bitch,” Taako mutters, mostly to himself, which he belatedly realizes might be okay to say to an octopus, but not to a merman who has already expressed himself quite clearly in English. 

“Sorry?”

Kravitz huffs and exposes his side. 

“Gnarly,” Taako whispers.  “I can do surgery, but you won’t love it.”

“No,” Kravitz agrees. “Do it. Now.” 

“It’s not sterile!” Taako can’t believe he’s having this conversation. “We need to- it’s not- What if- Can’t you try to heal it again?” 

“Not in this water. Unless...”

“Unless??”

Kravitz squints at him, like he’s scanning Taako’s soul down to the nitty gritty details. Taako hopes he can’t see how many times he’s shoplifted Froot Loops. 

“Could use your energy. You have much.” 

“Would, uh, would that hurt?” 

“I don’t know,” Kravitz admits. “But it would connect us.” He winces and grabs at the wound, which has started to bleed again. The pink water makes Taako’s stomach turn. They’ve gone from out-of-control ferris wheel to the fuckin’ slingshot, and Taako’s about to lose his hypothetical cotton candy. 

“Go, just, just do it, alright?”

“Very well.” And Kravitz grabs him by the hand, and the world goes black. 

Taako wakes up with a gnarly headache and two bright red eyes barreling right into his. 

“Morning,” he mumbles, his mouth dry. And then the weird thing happens. Well, weirder. 

He hears Kravitz’s voice inside his head. 

It is not morning, Taako. But I am happy to see you are awake. Something strange has happened. 

[backtobackbakubabe]

I am the Alpha Now Part 14

Bakugo X Reader

Words: 2194

Masterlist

Reader is from America and somewhat of a delinquent with an alpha quirk that allows her to turn into a wolf as well as bond with dogs. She is sent to UA to straighten out her attitude. She ends up in a power struggle with none other than our favorite hot head. Words in Italics are words said telepathically.

“Wait, wait, wait… Shigaraki? As in the leader of the League of Villains and YOUR BOSS! That Shigaraki?”

Dabi’s grip tightened on the wheel, “You know I’m starting to question how smart the kids at UA really are? YES! That Shigaraki.” His eyes shifted to his mirrors as if to check they weren’t being followed. “He’s been a pain in my ass lately… He’s always been twisted and ambitious. But now he’s… I don’t know he’s unhinged. He’s gotten sloppy and I’m tired of cleaning up after him.”

You could feel the panic bubbling in your stomach. You rolled your window down and took in a huge gulp of fresh air, trying to settle your nerves.

Dabi scoffed, “Hey where did the ‘I’ll go feral and kill you all’, crazy bitch go? You look like you’re ready to puke all over my car.”

You closed your eyes as you continued to breathe through your panic. “Why do you even need me? Don’t you have some badass cremation quirk? Just light the dude on fire and call it a day. I don’t see where I play into all of this.”

A tense silence fell over the car, but you could hear Dabi speeding up. “Look I wouldn’t expect you to understand right now, but I have a role to play just like everyone else. Believe me I would love nothing more than to watch as that dusty fuck turned into a pile of ash. Hell, I’d probably roast marshmallows over it. But for many reasons that are none of your fucking business… I can’t.”

You finally found the nerve to turn to look at him. “I still don’t see why you need me to do it. From what I understand, long distance attacks have the most success with him, and I specialize in close combat. How am I supposed to fight him if I can’t let him touch me?”

Dabi was whipping the car into a parking garage now, the shadows taking over his features. “You heal right? I saw it with my own eyes. It’s unlike anything I’ve ever seen. I tested it earlier in the alley after you passed out. I saw how quickly your head was healing so I tried to cremate one of your fingers.”

Your eyes almost bugged out of your sockets, which caused Dabi to roll his. “What? Don’t give me that look. I’m a villain… I beat you unconscious and kidnapped you and all that’s what makes you mad? You don’t even need all ten fingers!” He parked his car and grabbed your wrist and pulled your hand up to your face. “Look you’re fine. It regenerated almost as quickly as I could burn it.”

You ripped your wrist from his grasp. Rubbing the spot his fingers had just been. “Just because it worked with your quirk doesn’t mean it’ll work with his. I’m not invincible.” You shuddered as the memories of being tortured start to stir in your mind.

He could see the hesitation in your eyes. “I need to make something clear. While I don’t necessarily mean you any harm… I also don’t give a fuck about your well-being. So, this…” He gestured to your pained expression. “Needs to stop. Because I don’t care. You may not be invincible… but you are expendable. You bite the dust, we’ll just recruit someone else. Maybe even your boyfriend.”

You froze. What did he mean by we?

Dabi got out of the car and came around to your side and opened your door. You looked around the parking garage behind him, looking for an accomplice. “Are you going to get out on your own, or are you going to make me drag you?”

You couldn’t see, hear, or smell anyone besides Dabi. So, you slowly stepped out of the car, all the while flipping him off. “I’d love to see you try asshole. Lay a hand on me and I’ll pin you down and pull out every single one of those stupid staples one by one with my teeth.”

Dabi leaned forward so his eyes where level with yours, “Don’t tempt me with a good time.”

Before you could even say anything another presence suddenly filled your senses. One moment it was just you a Dabi and the next someone was there behind him.

“Easy you two. As much as I would love to watch, we kind of need to get somewhere private.” You looked at the familiar man with the red wings. He gave you a sad smile, “There are a lot of people looking for you kid.” He gestured towards the elevator and you and Dabi followed. The man looked over his shoulder at Dabi, “Including your dad. Apparently he was ready to give her a job. He’s not too thrilled.”

Dabi growled, “More reason for me to keep her.”

You kicked at the back of his knee making him fall as you stepped around him into the elevator. “I am not, and never will be your fucking pet. I am an Alpha.” Your eyes glowed as your fury of being treated like a plaything grew.

The man standing next to you whistled, “Damn, I knew you were intense but that was probably the best thing I’ve seen all month. But I guess you’d have to be a little aggressive to deal with Bakugo every day.”

You tried not to react to hearing your boyfriends name, but your heart pounded. He knew Katsuki? You wondered if he knew if he was okay…

You gave him a harsh glare, “Who the fuck are you and how do you know Bakugo?”

It was Dabi’s turn to chuckle now at the man’s shocked expression. “Just a ray of sunshine isn’t she bird brain?”

The blonde man made room for Dabi in the elevator before pushing a button. His attention returned to you, “You seriously don’t recognize me? I’m a pro hero. Number two to be exact.” You stared back blankly and shrugged. His eyes widened, “Oh come on! I’m Hawks…”

You maintained a bored expression, “Nice to meet you… what are you doing here with an LOV member number two pro hero Hawks…”

You watched him squirm a little, but he soon wore a dazzling smile, “We go way back. Best friends some people might say. Not him, but someone I’m sure.”

The doors to the elevator closed and you could feel your anxiety starting up again. You were trapped between two strange men, who could probably kill you if they really wanted to. Hawks could see your tension and made an effort to trade places with you, putting you closer to the door and away from Dabi.

As soon as the door opened you stepped out. Welcoming the cool air conditioning tethering you to reality and keeping your anxiety at bay. You’ve been kidnapped before. You were doing everything you could to keep those memories buried.

Hawks lead you to a room that needed a key card and a six digit code to get in. Once the door closed behind you, you stiffened. You could feel your nails grow out to claws and your teeth sharpen to a point. They may not be trying to hurt you right now. But that could change at any moment.

Dabi took one look at you clawed hand and sighed, “I need a drink if we’re going to be behaving like this. Be right back.” He gave you a curious glance, “You want anything?”

You shook your head, not trusting your voice not to give away your subtle anxiety.

As soon as Dabi was out of earshot you pulled Hawks to you, “You never told me how you know Katsuki…. Do you know if he’s okay? He hasn’t done anything stupid has he?”

Hawks groaned, “We had to send out a search party for him. Lucky for us it’s kind of hard to stay stealthy in the middle of downtown with a giant fucking wolf dog.”

Your eyes burned into his, “So he’s okay then? Someone keeping an eye on him?”

Hawks patted your tense shoulder, “Physically, yeah… he’s fine. But you leaving like you did really did a number on him. He wouldn’t come back to UA without kicking and screaming the whole way. Kept saying shit like, ‘I can’t feel her’ , ‘somethings wrong’ he wouldn’t even listen to his red headed friend. What his name, the hard guy?”

“Kirishima?”

“Yeah! Him. It wasn’t pretty. He’s a wreck.”

Your heart ached. Not only as his girlfriend, but as an Alpha. Your instincts are screaming at you right now. Your only job is to protect your pack. He’s hurting. Mercy is hurting. And you are the reason why.

You walked away before Hawks could see the tear spilling over your cheek. You stepped to the window trying to get a better idea of your surroundings. Even though you had absolutely no idea where you were. You took a deep breath and slowly opened up the bond.

*******Bakugo’s POV***********

“No you don’t understand she’s not just gone, she’s fucking GONE! I can’t feel her anymore.” Bakugo paced back and forth in his room. Mercy sat on his bed, his eyes following him but saying nothing besides the occasional whimper. “We’re literally bonded now. I’m supposed to be able to feel her Kiri. I’m supposed to be able to instinctively now that she’s okay. And now it’s gone. There’s just a fucking void. She’s gone… I can’t find her. Neither can Mercy.” He ran his hands through his hair for the hundredth time. Keeping his frantic hands busy. “He said she could have turned it off…. Or she… she could be… she could be fucking dead! None of you seem to care!”

Kiri put his hand on his shoulder in an attempt to calm him down, “Hey man, we’re going to find her okay. We just need you to calm down first.”

“CALM DOWN?! How the hell am I SUPPOSED TO CALM DOWN?! Did you not just hear what I said?”

Bakugo slumped to the floor and leaned against the end of his bed, letting Mercy put his head next to his. “We have to believe she’s okay. If not it’s going to drive us crazy. Look on the plus side. We are bonded to each other through her. If she were dead, wouldn’t our bond have died as well. As long as you can hear me I have to assume she’s alive.”

Bakugo reached up and started petting Mercy, “I hope you’re right about that. What happened last time… when she you know…?”

Mercy gave Bakugo’s cheek a quick lick, “The last time she died… I could feel the stress her body was under and then it was gone. Right now it feels almost like a closed door. The bond is still there, we just can’t use it. Then it felt like a brick wall. It wasn’t just her presence that was gone, the whole bond disappeared too. It was terrifying.”

There was a ringing in Bakugo’s ears. Had it been there long? Was his hearing deteriorating without you there to take care of him. Was there something wrong with the bond? Was there something wrong with you? The ringing grew louder and louder until it consumed him. He clutched his hands in his hair and yelled for it to stop. Tears pricked at his eyes as his breathing got shorter. He was on the verge of one of the scariest panic attacks he had ever had and then all the sudden his chest burst open with warmth.

He was bombarded with soothing thoughts and a happy relaxed buzz. He tried to grip it for dear life. This was you. He knew it was. He reached out the way you taught him, and he tried to find you. He got a quick glimpse of a cityscape through what looked like a window. But before he could figure out where you were it was turned off again.

He felt like he had been sucker punched. Kiri was looking at him like he had lost his mind. “Hey… are you okay. I know you can like talk to Mercy and stuff. But it still freaks me out. Then one moment your raging, then the next your crying, and then out of nowhere you look completely blissed out…” Kirishima sat next to Bakugo looking concerned. “I’m worried about you. You seem a little… unstable.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever we can talk about it later in therapy.” Bakugo pushed Kiri to the side and looked at Mercy, “You felt that right? That’s a good sign, right?”

Mercy barked and jumped towards the door, “She’s alive alright, and she wanted us to know it. From what I could tell she was unharmed. A little stressed out, but otherwise healthy. I couldn’t figure out where she was though. How about you?”

Bakugo was grabbing his hero gear and rushing towards the door. “Not a one hundred percent sure. But I have a decent idea of the general area.” He looked at a shocked Kiri who was still on the floor. “You gonna come help me save my girl or what?”

*****************************************

Tags :

@tspice283 , @realityisoftendisapointing , @imbi-101 , @thoughtfulpandazine2 , @hotarumorikawa , @huh-iwasntpayingattention , @starfishlovingbnha , @weebnumber3622 , @mixedfeeelings , @munchmunch01 , @inumorph @xxoperatexx @runrabbitrun3

[wisherbysharlight]

WHAT IF... SANDERS SIDES BUT MAKE IT A TROPEY TEEN BEACH AU

Endgame!LAMP. Dukeceit, Remile

Just 2k stream of consciousness words from a plunny that grew legs TW for v slight underage drinking, one joking mention of violence, and a non-specific discussion of intrusive thoughts

-Janus has just moved there because his parents wanted to start a new "adventure" and he is a Stereotypical Teenager. Very "ugh MOM I wanna go back to my FRIENDS for my LAST SUMMER BEFORE COLLEGE"(most of his friends suck. He should not spend time with them. He does not know this)

His Parents buy him a surfboard and tell him to try it out as a way to get him to Shut Up

Hes a Skater Boy(cue music) so he picks it up super fast from like,,, youtube videos

 -He gets told to Get a Job if he wants to like, keep buying surf gear?

All the local kids work at like one restaurant/yacht club type place right on the beach

Janus gets hired as a host

 -Logan is a beach badge checker, Patton, Roman, and Remus are beachfront restaurant waiters but Roman just Really Wants To Surf, Emile and Virgil are Lifeguards, and Remy is a bartender

 -Janus is Very Good At Customer Service because Fake Smiles

Patton recognizes this Immediately

He shows him the Rage Closet which is a tiny room with an arm chair that locks from the inside where you can punch a pillow on your break when it gets to be Too Much

-Janus is Attached now and there is no getting rid of him

Patton Fully Endorses this and introduces him to the rest of the group

Janus Knows Immediately that LAMP is In Love but says nothing because he aint no snitch

-Remus surfs, but he also always wear a thong while doing it

Roman wears a full wetsuit and somehow still gets Board Rash. Remus is somehow immune and it infuriates him

 -Janus, not knowing that the twins live right on the beach cuz they are RichTM: Hey Ree I kinda wanna learn how to surf would you be able to teach me 

Remus, who religiously watches Janus surf every morning, but is absolutely willing to play this game: Yeah absolutely

Patton, later: “lets rinse off at the twins they’re right here” Janus: theyre.... What?!

 -Meanwhile, elsewhere, Virgil and Roman are double teaming Logan to drag him into the water with them cuz he’s pouting about losing a debate with their manager about how he didn’t really be mean to the dudebro who wanted to get his buddies onto the beach without paying, he was just enforcing the rules. And if the dude was so offended by Logan’s Very Accurate Dragging that he complained to management then, well, that’s his problem not Logan’s

 -Logan is never without a book. Ever. And its always a different book. Janus is starting to think he owns a library

One day he is just... reading a Physics textbook. Not taking notes or anything. Just reading. 

Roman is Very Very Alarmed by this because he is Gay and Math is Scary

"Roman I'm also gay that is not a determining factor"

"Yeah but you can't drive"

"...fair"

 -the first time janus has a shift with the twins, he cant stop staring, not just because hes like,,, super attracted to Remus but also because they are like Chaos Incarnate and yet somehow get the most tips??? He doesn't understand???

It's just cuz they are both Huge Flirts and Flatterers and the patrons dont care that they're not-so-subtly beating the shit out of each other right there on the dining floor because theyre just so charming

 -one of the bartenders gets aggressively snapped at by a customer and called "sweetheart" and before Janus can even begin to react Remy is there, sunglasses off, fire in his eyes, telling them to settle their bill and get the fuck out

Janus, used to City Restaurants- "Wont you get in trouble with the owner?!"

Remy, who knows Nothing Else But This- "What?? Not likely I only did it cuz Thomathy wasnt here to do it himself"

 -the restaurant is closed Monday and Tuesday so that is the Pseudo Weekend for the staff where everyone hangs out at the beach

Emile and Virgil take Tuesdays off but still work Monday’s cuz they feel better being the one watching over their friends

 -Roman, staring at Virgil on the lifeguard stand: ugh he’s so pretty I almost wish I was drowning just so he could give me cpr 

Janus: you wanna potentially get your ribs broken just for lip contact? 

Remy, staring at Emile on the lifeguard stand: listen, if that’s what it takes, I’ll take it

Remus, immediately going up to the lifeguard stand because he has 0 impulse control: hey my brother and cousin want you to break their ribs 

Virgil and Emile: excuse me?????

 -Patton will literally spend hours in the water. Logan physically drags him out to put sunscreen on him every two hours to the minute. Patton does not admit that he purposely "forgets" just so Logan will do so

Logan is Dark and has never used sunscreen ever but Patton is so pale and he just gets so concerned about him. Patton thinks its adorable

He has pages of research on proper spf determination.

Roman and Remus use spf 15 just on their faces and have never once burned in their lives

Logan wants to submit them for scientific study because that shouldnt be possible

Virgil calls Logan out on the fact that he also should be wearing sunscreen and Logan like... blue screens he cant believe in all his research he missed that

 -Patton is like... a ridiculously strong swimmer. Virgil still has a heart attack every time he goes for laps when there is the slightest hint of an undertow

Patton Knows This so he tries to stay in Virgil's sight line for the most part if there is an undertow. Or just dives over the waves again and again.

His nickname is Ariel. He thinks its just cuz of the swimming and the fact hes a red head. LAP all separately also tack on that its the swimming, the red hair, and the hnng pretty 10/10 would follow out to sea ala Prince Eric

 -first beach bonfire Janus goes to Remy is Fully In Emile's Lap like... half an hour in

he has had like maybe a sip of a beer

Remus says he still claims this is because he is a Clingy Drunk

no one will call him on it, least of all Emile

 -there is truth or dare. Roman may or may not skinny dip you have no proof

 -Logan gets infuriated that he cannot roast a marshmallow properly

Patton does it perfectly every single time but its ok cuz he shares and Logan eats it right from his fingers and Roman and Virgil are just in the background Trying and Failing not to be the Most Jealous

Patton thinks theyre upset they didn't get marshmallows and makes some for them too and there is lots of Significant Eye Contact involved

Janus is going to spontaneously combust if they don't get their shit together

 -Janus is out walking on the beach one night on a full moon cuz he cant sleep with everything so quiet around here when he sees a bright green patch out in the water and goes ...wait

he calls out to Remus and he comes into shore and is like "waves are perfect at night you should join me" so janus goes back and gets his board and they surf and chat for like the entire night

Janus finds out Remus couldn't sleep cuz intrusive thoughts were keeping him awake

Janus listens and doesn't judge, just lets Remus talk it out

They go back to shore and fall asleep on the sand next to each other like mid sentence still talking, now about whatever creative business idea Remus had, and get woken up by Logan's morning rounds like "come on guys you know you're not allowed to sleep out here" but they dont care theyre both just *blushing emoji*

-Logan Always Has A Notebook right? And a regular book he reads. And everyone assumes they are like Notions and Observations, but no, it’s actually blank paper and he uses it to sketch and then one day he leaves it behind and someone either Virgil or Patton finds it and flips through it and it’s all sketches of them and Roman and they’re like??? Actually really good? Anyway that’s how they find out Logan is actually minoring in art even though he’s majoring in something Very STEM 

And he never told his best friends because like almost all his pre college art is Them and he doesn’t want to be caught having Feelings and by the time it gets to college it’s been too long and he can’t tell them now 

Roman takes one of the sketches of him surfing and makes it his profile picture on All Social Media He Has and Logan is so flustered he nearly breaks his damn phone

Patton is so offended he didn’t get invited to Logan’s first showcase that he doesn’t talk to him for like two whole hours 

Virgil quietly asks if there is any art of all four of them, finds out there is, and makes a print and keeps it on his bedside table

 -They are all Pining Outwardly Now and its Worse

 -Remus : you have known them since pre-k please ask them out I beg of you 

Roman: You just dont get it 

Remus: I asked Janus out after 4 weeks what is your problem

 Emile: Virgil, I love you, you are my Partner in Anti-Drowning but you are so stupid 

Virgil: What???? All I said is that you and Remy are really cute and I'd love to be in a relationship like that 

Emile: I am not a violent person, Virgil, but I have the strong urge to smack you

 Patton, in the Rage Closet: They're all just so hOT and ReSPEctFUL 

Janus, waiting for his turn, trying to act like he cant hear him: I Am Looking Elsewhere

 Logan: I just don't understand why they were more upset that I didn't tell them than that I'd been making art of them for years?? Shouldn't that second part be worse??

Remy, who has been partial to Every Single One Of AMP Waxing Poetic About Logan: Yeah, no idea /s

 -the twins get into a surfing competition as a pair and everyone goes to see them and support them

Thomas airs the competition on every tv in the restaurant cuz he’s Proud of his Bois

They WIN cuz they are Creative and Talented and came up with all sorts of crazy tricks while they were fucking around in the water but it earns them Major Bonus Points for originality

 -Roman does the run off the podium and into Love’s arms trope with just like... whoever’s closest lets go Patton because he is a Waif and forced himself up front so he can see

The other two are Devastated because well shit but then Roman pushes through the crowd, still holding Patton’s hand, and gives them this smile and is like “remember in like second grade when we said we’d do everything together and made a pact on this beach”

Analogical: uhhhhhh yeah

Roman: holding you both to it. No take backs. This counts. Now kiss me, dammit, we WON and they DO MANY TIMES AND ITS REAL CUTE

 -Meanwhile dukeceit have Mysteriously Disappeared and No One wants to be the ones to go find them. They show back up, eventually. Janus has a branch in his hair and remus' hair is sticking straight up and when he opens his mouth roman glares at him and tells him in no uncertain terms that they do not want to know

 AnYWaY these are my children and I will gladly answer any questions about them. I left out Janus Backstory and Creativitwins Angst and Many Individual LAMP Scenes and Remile/Dukeceit getting together and Epilogue but can absolutely provide such things on request

[electrificata]

got tagged 2 do this by @seiokona and im pwrless 2 resist

Nicknames: i honestly hate most of the classic "variation on the name" nicknames folks have tried to give me. i genuinely try to be cool but they set my teeth on edge. on the other hand, if everyone started calling me "venus" irl id be very pleased.

Zodiac: eeeeeeh cancer

Height: very tall

Time: its interminable and inexhorable why do u even want specifics

Fave band/ artist: these days im a singles bitch, not rly an artist deep-diver

Song stuck in my head: oh i got a whole tag for that, go look at "#my jamz" on my blog

Last movie I watched: uuuh i think it was chucky with my friends, i was pretty stoned i dont remember

Last thing I googled: lol it was literally just the word "oy," i was asking my buddy to make a discord emote out of some "oy" typography cuz i say it all the dang time

Other blogs: none as far as ur concerned

Do I get asks: mostly i just get some bastard dropping alchemical texts in my submit box

Why did I choose this username?: im the electrified goddess of love and sex made flesh, next question

Following: too many

Average amount of zzz: sleep is for the weak and i am strong

What I’m wearing: lots of denim, lots of eyeliner, boots. the usual.

Dream job: what does this say, i cant read

Favourite food: all variations on "noodle" and "dumpling" have a place in my heart

Play any instruments: guitar, theoretically

Eye colour: bluish

Hair colour: blondish

Languages you speak: english - very well, spanish and hebrew - very badly

Most iconic song: heard “take me to the river” by al green on the radio earlier and it fucked me up so that

Random fact: the best way to roast marshmallows is to just stab one w a fork and set it on fire with a match over ur kitchen sink, dont let these people who go """camping""" tell u any different

Describe yourself as aesthetic things: man if ud asked me this when i was like 19 id have a field day but now im nothin fancy dude im just here

might tag some folks later, not feelin it now

[luckywarner]

🍀LOCKED🍀

[I can’t believe I have to do this post a second time. Pray for me. So, as usual, with post class, Lucky’s walking on his own, grimacing to himself the whole time, because in the words of Paramore ‘HOW DID WE GET HEEEEEEEEEEERE???’. So, again, as usual, he’s walking down the hallway, and as he’s passing the trademarked Mucky Classroom™ , suddenly he is in said classroom before he knows it. Guess who’s pulled her in? Well, I’d suppose it’s the ‘m’ portion of Mucky.

And, my dude, she is the last person he wants to see right now, believe you me. So, she’s gonna talk now.]

Hey~.

Hi…

I had an idea.

Yeah? [thaT SOUNDED GOOD. GREAT.]

Mhmmm. So, since it’s Friday, and all, I was thinking, maybe later tonight, we could hang out.

T-Tonight?

I obviously didn’t mean next Friday.

I-I would, but I... can’t. I’m- busy.

I thought we’d established that swim practice is no excuse for not hanging out a long time ago.

It’s not that. It’s, uh, Jordan. We have a– date.

A date~? Oh nooo~. [Eye roll.] So we do it after, then. Duh.

Maddox… that’s not gonna work.

Sure it will.

[Maddox, don’t make hIM SAY IT.] No, it won’t…

Come on, Lucky.

[Oh, but you’re gonna  maKE HIM do it, aren’t you.] It won’t work because I’m spending the night with her, o k a y??

[Maddox doesn’t say anything at first, and it really looks like she’s trying hard to process what she just heard, probably to make sure she was hearing him properly, so she just kinda does a blink-blink. Let her asK if she heard right.] You’re… spending the night with her. At her house? Like, all night?

Yes, Maddox. Her parents are out of town, and she invited me over.

And you’re– gonna do what? Tell ghost stories and roast marshmallows?

I don’t think that’s in the plan, no.

Right. I didn’t think so. So you’re gonna… sleep with her. You’re gonna have sex with her?

I guess so?

You can’t just guess so, Lucky. You either know or you don’t know.

Are you-- Are you angry about this?

Me? Angry? Never. That would be crazy~. [I should mention that she DEFINITELY SAID THAT LIKE SHE WAS ANGRY.]

You shouldn’t be angry.

Oh, you tell me how to feel now. I see.

It’s not any of your business, Maddox.

Not any of my– [one hARD LAUGH.] Honey, you made it my business when you walked into that shower on Monday and told me how you didn’t care about your girlfriend and just wanted to fuck me.

Look, I know. I did that. And I told you that I wanted to keep doing it. But that doesn’t mean that I put my actual relationship on the back burner. It can’t work that way.

[Maddox gives him this wide-eyed look of disbelief, and her whole attitude right now reads, ‘i’M GONNA RIP MY HAIR OUT’.] You already did that whEN YOU HAD SEX WITH ME WHILE DATING HER. You c h e a t e d on her, Lucky. With me. IN CASE YOU FORGOT THAT BIT OF INFORMATION. That’s not exactly puTTING HER FIRST.

It is when she doesN’T KNOW ABOUT IT.

It still COUNTS, LUCKY.

And it counted when we had sex the first time, and I had to watch Harley be attached to your hip for a week while you pretended I didn’t exist. It’s practically the same thing!

STOP using that Harley bullshit to try to justify yourself.

It also counted when we had sex again, and you were flirting with some guy the Monday after, and you told me you could do what you wanted because I wasn’t your boyfriend. I don’t have to justify myself to anyone! And especially not to you! You fucking hypocrite!

So, what? You’re just gonna go to her house, and you’re gonna sleep with her like nothing ever happened? Is that it?

I have that right. She’s my girlfriend, Maddox. In case you forgot that bit of information.

No, Lucky. I haven’t forgotten about that. You make sure I remember it. And, really, you’ve done a damn good job of showing how much that word means to you.

Look, sorry. I can’t always choose you over her, okay? I can’t do that.

Oh, no. Don’t apologize, sweetheart. Because, one, when the fuck have you ever other than Monday night? And two, she is your girlfriend, after all, right? I’m just the girl you come to when you wanna fuCK SOMEONE IN THE SCHOOL.

And who am I to you??? One more person in a long list of people that YOU have slept with. Recently too, I’m sure, because there’s no way you haven’t been sleeping with other people. 

[AS WE KNOW, MADDOX GETS ALL KINDS OF OFFENDED BC SHE LITERALLY HASN’T IN A FRIGGIN MONTH, BUT SHE’S NOT GONNA SAY THAT, IS SHE? JUST A SCOFF.] Oh, yeah. You’re so right, Lucky. Last night, the night before that, and before that– in fact,totally had someone lined up for tonight just in case you were busy. NO BIG D E A L, righT? [too hot.] Because I’m not your girlfriend, and you’re not my boyfriend, and if we want to fuck other people besides each other, then that’s just f i n e. [being facetious because she’s annoyed that he would a s s u m e that about the situation.]

[anD  AGAIN, LUCKY WAS PROBABLY HOPING SHE’D PROVE CARSON WRONG HERE BY SAYING THAT SHE H A D N ‘ T BEEN SLEEPING WITH ANYONE ELSE, SO HE JUST DEFLATES.] Yeah… that was my point…

At least we’re on the same page then.

Yeah. For once, I think we both are.

Great. Awesome. Glad to hear it. So, listen. Whatever game it is you’re playing, I’m fucking done with it. No more having to worry about your parents finding out about anything, and no pressure to dump your perfect girl just so you can have unattached sex with ~the scum of the earth~ once a week. I’d hate to ruin that perfect relationship. I’m the ~most important~ factor my ass. It clearly doesn’t matter who the hell it is.

Maddie– [Oops, is that a shaky voice? it is.]

Don’t-- fucking call me that. And ya know what? I really thought you knew how to be honest. Because I actually fucking believed–…

B-Believed what?

That you give a shit, Lucky. But what you told me the other day– it’s right. You do lie. And it’s all so you can get whatever the hell you want with no consequences. [mAJOR EYE ROLL, AS SHE STOMPS OUT OF THE CLASSROOM, PROBABLY SLAMMING THE DOOR. AND SHE’S GONE. LIKE THIS.]

[So, Lucky’s left alone, and the bell probably rang while they were yelling, so there’s a late bell now, but Lucky’s not going to class right now. He’s not doing that at all. Bad idea. He’s just gonna sit on the classroom floor, and question himself. And there’s probably a little bit of this:]

[pldubrahs]

anyway, this has been a While coming and now im back in new orleans so LOTS OF GUSHING ABOUT THE LIGHTNING THIEF MUSICAL, UNDER THE CUT

the ambiance of the theater, dim and filled with soft storm sounds

this show does really beautiful things with overlapping singing and w harmonys and its So low budget but still so good and the cast is small but amazing and literally everyone but chris is cast into several roles and its just amazing

if u dont wanna read this whole thing, just scroll down to the end for a Special Surprise

ACT 1

the Bitter, Angry, Sad music, ltm is truly the Emo Rock Musical we deserve

i seriously almost fell out of my chair when chris mccarrell came out. he honest to god was SUCH a good percy, so fidgety and all his expressions were ON POINT

“CHROOONOOOOOOOS”

ms dodds in General she was hilarious for the literal 3 minutes she was onstage

the pen to sword transformation is literally just: chris hides the pen and grabs the sword from somewhere else onstage. during my show, in the ms dodds fight scene, the sword was on the back of chirons wheelchair and it got stuck so he had to trip after the chair as chiron wheeled off and TUG it off to fight

DID I MENTION HOW MUCH I LOVED CHRIS MCCARRELL AND HOW AMAZING HIS VOICE WAS? BECAUSE I DO AND IT W A S

sally is a BLACK WOMAN 

just in general, this show was Amazing at raceblind casting

sally sprayed febreeze after smelly gabe, like he leaned to look in the fridge and she stood behind him spraying febreeze directly at him for like 30 seconds

“he was handsome and strong and before too long- you came!” percy was roasting marshmallows and looking out towards the audience and sally was rubbing up and down the sides of her body during this before “you came!” and it was v funny

Strong in general was Great bc WOW IM LOVE THE “NORMALCY IS A SOCIALLY CONSTRUCTED MYTH” MESSAGE

grover and percy meeting outside camp

“oh look a goat” “percy!”

“he met a furie” “youre all furry! what happened to your legs”

the v cute friendship bickering, overlapping voices thing that percy and grover v often did. this was the grover and percy friendship that we always needed

during the weird dream when he sees annabeth and hes like “gee whiz shes the most beautiful girl ive ever seen”

and then when he officially meets her after hes not out of it, he says “youre my dream girl!” and then backpedals and its great

ANOTHER TERRIBLE DAY. DEFFS ONE OF THE TOP FIVE SONGS. MR D IN GENERAL WAS JUST AMAZING, GEORGE SALAZAR ROCKED IT

he kicked the chair over so much and then there was a part after his camp halfblood intern thing left so his chair didnt get reset behind him and so he kicked into the air, got frustrated, and put the chair up himself

“of course, who am i to give relationship advice, im literally the god of alcohol”

“you can hate it here, but i HATED IT FIRST”

so so so many Soft sex jokes and bc im a Child i loved them 

chiron is just a guy galloping with a horse tail its the cutest thing and everyone laughed bc like imagine a kid galloping w their legs high and w/e, but on an adult and slow motion

“you’ll get used to mr d. he can be a bit... well, he hates children”

luke was Very attractive and ALSO he had a lot of chemistry w percy and w annabeth and i, who remembered shipping percy and luke back in my Youth, was Living

annabeth deffs had a crush on luke dont @ me

also luke was Softly bitter. like he sounded like a modern kid, bitter and upset but saying it in a joking way; totally makes sense that no one suspects that he’d do anything w chronos bc all the kids are upset and he doesnt get dark until the very end of the show

“are you ever going to wear pants again?” “Nope!”

luke: “havent you ever played capture the flag?” percy, excitedly: “not with swords!” *makes swooshy lightsaber noises* annabeth, suffering, full of regret: “It’s not a lightsaber.”

“sexist much?” “no, i love girls” [muffled luke and grover cackling in the background]

CLARISSE, LOVE OF MY LIFE! her song was so so good

im sure everyone has mentioned this but the LEAF BLOWERS BLOWING TOILET PAPER TO REPRESENT WATER LITERALLY CHANGED MY LIFE

the campfire song

percys Soft concern for annabeths story about running away “wait is that true”

grover starting to cry during his part

“my father is chronos.... remember my lecture, he ate his children””....... chiron wins”

APHRODITE'S DAUGHTER’S STORY “godess of love, my moms aphrodite... i bring home a boy and shes there in her nightie! oh nooooo” “she steals my mascara and all of my dates!” wonderful

percy sings nicely about his mother and everyones like “hes doing it wrong”

“we dont care where our parents may be, as long as you are here with me!” FRIENDSHIP MAKES ME EMO

“havent you noticed that there arent any other little sea godlings running around? any sons of hades or daughters of zeus? the big three gods arent supposed to have kids!” i loved this tiny easter egg i love my big three kids

“look at the boy, hes clearly not a thief!” “oh, yeah no yeah yeah yeah no no yeah yeah no yeah no, youre right! you cant fake being that stupid unless youre a brilliant actor, but im also the god of drama, so i can tell you HES NOT”

“his lightning?” “yeah, we're not talking some crummy tin foil zig zag from some off broadway play!”

GOOD KID IS EVEN BETTER LIVE THAN IT WAS ON THE RECORDING IT RUINED MY LIFE

Killer Quest! is an amazing end of act song and v upbeat and cute

“so where is the underworld actually” “look for doa records” “its a record company? actually, im not surprised”

ACT 2

WE’RE LOST IN THE WOODS SOMEWHERE IN NEW JERSEY AND WE’RE NEVER GONNA MAKE IT TO LA

“half bloods to monsters smell like mickey ds, like tacos or take out vietnamese”

“dude are you talking to the squirrel?” “satyr powers, be nice. this squirrel knows every corner of the woods, maybe he can help us” “really? because i think that seems kind of nuts” [silence] “you hurt his feelings. tell the squirrel youre sorry.”

medusa in general, what a Good scene

ensemble members shaking maracas to make snake noises for her

medusa cant say “nemesis”

“ive done everything to prove to the gods that im the best and you- i mean, you dont even know how to hold a sword” “yes i do!, yes... i do...” “no, hands here *adjusts percys grip*” “i didnt ask for any of this: gods, monsters, quests- oh, wow, that is a lot easier”

my grand plan is the most annabeth chase song ever and i love it its such a good look into her character and i love her so much

“when boys mess up they always get another chance”

“cause most girl never win if theyre polite”

THE COMMENTARY ON HOW WOMEN HAVE TO BE IN TODAYS SOCIETY IN ORDER TO BE TAKE SERIOUSLY HELL YEAH

“the gods will think we’re impertinent” “we are impertinent”

the squirrel gave them three amtrak tickets

DRIVE IS A COUNTRY SONG AND I FUCKING LOVE IT IM HONESTLY SHOOK

i hate country except for this One Song

ITS ONE FOOT FORWARD AT A TIME; DUST OFF ALL THAT GRIT AND GRIME; WE STILL GOT A LOT LEFT TO DOOOO, CAUSE PEOPLE ARE COUNTIN ON US AND IM COUNTIN ON YOU! DRIIIIIIIIVE JUST DRIIIIiiiiiiiiIIIIIIVE STAY AHEAD STAY AHEAD STAY ALIIIIIIIVE

“is that chihuahua?” “its a chimera!”

“maybe if you hadnt brought all those dam snacks” “uh it was the hoover dam and i was hungry!”

ares drives them to las vegas and when they get there he says “this is where i... get off” and its HILARIOUS i love lowkey sex jokes

gentle easter egg to bianca and nico re: may 1st 1939

“the oracle can can it ill save my mom and savE THE PLANET!” im love percy so much

tREE ON THE HILL IS ABOUT THALIA AND IT MADE ME CRY GOD WHAT A GOOD SONG and grover feels like a failure and annabeth is like “no u saved my life ur a good friend and a good guardian <3 friendship”

THE FERRYMAN TO THE UNDERWORLD FLIRTS WITH GROVER

“you wanna hear my demo?” “uh-” [loud music plays] “im sorry i couldnt hear you over this SWEET ASS RIFF”

YOURE IN THE D.O.A. AND YOURE HERE TO STAY YEAH YOURE STUCK FOREVER NEVER GET AWAY NO HOPE FOR SURVIVAL YOURE DEAD ON ARRIVAL

“oh! do you have any josh groban?” “we will.” I CACKLED

DJ CEBERUS W A COOL 3-HEADED DEADMAU5 ESQUE MASK

the ferryman also attacks them all like “youre not gonna save the planet, you wont protect your friends, you wont be remembered”

everyone says this but “i think this pit is tartarus” “LIKE THE FISH SAUCE?”

“why would chronus want my shoes?” “they were really cool shoes”

bitter, sad hades who just wants people to stop thinking that hes the bad guy and for his brothers to come visit him

“one does not simply walk out of the underworld”

W H A T  B E L O N G S  T O  T H E  S E A  C A N  A L W A Y S  R E T U R N

small reprise of good kid as he considers hades offer and then the melody cHANGES and percy realizes that the seashell, a gift from a god, can SAVE THEM and its beautiful because SON OF POSEIDON IS A GOOD SONG

“maybe my dad was a screwup too, his best laid plans always falling through... maybe he never knew how to care but hey, thats life, and life aint fair... but i think my dad mayve thrown me a line, and better late than never, ill finally get a sign!”

its a good song kids

the kids get to the oceans and they FIGHT ARES and ares and percy are both singing, percy singing The Son Of Poseidon chorus and ares singing Put You In Your Place and its b e a u t i f u l

THE TOILET PAPER THROW- basically they bring in like 6 leafblowers w toilet paper rolls attached and the first five rows get covered in toilet paper. as someone who was in the fifth row, it was amazing

poseidon comes in, they have a Heart To Heart, he brings sally back to life, he flirts with sally, its hilarious and awkward

“the gods are unfair but we’re not total dicks”

percys like “you dont have to stay w gabe anymore” and sallys like “smh boy u cant solve all my problems. you saved my life, now i have to figure out how to live it”

he gives her medusas head

“what is this” “its a... do it yourself scupture kit” “oh! *begins to open it*” “no no no its, um, medusas head”

“well, as my official protector, you can officially escort us back to camp” “and youre conscience this time!”

chiron is also cast as poseidon so like he runs into the camp scene after a quick change and says “i hoofed it here as quick as i could!” 

last day of summer happens and w/e its cute but whAT REALLY MATTERS IS LUKES BETRAYAL: okay so the music slows and goes into the minor key and percys like “we still dont know whos working w chronos :/” lukes like “yeah it sucks” and he starts singing about how he doesnt trust the gods and how the gods hate them and how they need to take over the world and put the gods in their place--he and percy do their handshake fist-to-the-chest thing and luke is serious and percy does it but hes v confused and it Hurts. this is the first time in the show that luke sounds just Bitter and Angry instead of jokingly deprecating and its quite the effect

THE DARK GOOD KID REPRISE 

“ill do anything, i dont care if i hurt anyone, it doesnt pay to be a good kid, a good kid, a good son" GOD IT HURTS luke has so much pain and i feel so bad for him like yeah hes evil but,,, hes had a hard life

annabeth comes in and DISARMS LUKE but PSYCH luke has a small switchblade and STABS PERCY IN THE BACK (bc they cant use scorpions onstage)

percybeth moment interrupted by clarisse’s loud coughing and grover

percys like “we cant just sit here and wait for our parents to fix things.”

“the gods will say we’re impertinent” “we are impertinent” goddamn that symmetry

“are we ever gonna once have it easy?” my poor poor kids

percy- “feeling ready” annabeth- “feeling stoked” grover- “feeling queasy”

THE SEA DOESNT LIKE TO BE RESTRAINED

bring on the monsters is just a Good song

also hey if you got to the end of this, congrats! i have a ltm audio and either in a message or in an off-anon ask and ill hook u up

[alucywarner]

~♥ PRIVACY PLEASE ♥~

[Alright, say your prayers, everyone, because this. So, as usual, with post class, Lucy’s walking on her own, grimacing to herself the whole time, because in the words of Paramore ‘HOW DID WE GET HEEEEEEEEEEERE???’. So, again, as usual, she’s walking down the hallway, and as she’s passing the trademarked Mucy Classroom™ , suddenly she is in said classroom before she knows it. Guess who’s pulled her in? Well, I’d suppose it’s the ‘m’ portion of Mucy.

And, my dude, he is the last person she wants to see right now, believe you me. So, he’s gonna talk now.]

Hey~.

Hi...

I had an idea.

Yeah? [thaT SOUNDED GOOD. GREAT.]

Mhmmm. So, since it’s Friday, and all, I was thinking, maybe later tonight, we could hang out.

T-Tonight?

I didn’t mean next Friday.

I-I can’t. I’m... busy.

I thought we’d established that figure skating practice is no excuse for not hanging out a long time ago.

It’s not that. It’s, uh, Jordan. We have a-- date.

A date~? Oh nooo~. [Eye roll.] So we do it after, then. Duh.

Maddox... that’s not gonna work.

Sure it will.

[Maddox, don’t make her say it.] No it won’t...

Come on, Lucy.

[Oh, but you’re gonna do it, aren’t you.] It won’t work because I’m spending the night with him, o k a y??

[Maddox doesn’t say anything at first, and it really looks like he’s trying hard to process what he just heard, probably to make sure he was hearing her properly, so he just kinda does a blink-blink. Let him asK if he heard right.] You’re... spending the night with him. At his house? Like, all night?

Yes, Maddox. His parents are out of town, and he invited me over.

And you’re-- gonna do what? Tell ghost stories and roast marshmallows?

I don’t think that’s in the plan, no.

Right. I didn’t think so. So you’re gonna... sleep with him. You’re gonna have sex with him? 

I guess so?

You can’t just guess so, Lucy. You either know or you don’t know.

Are you-- angry? 

Me? Angry? Never. That would be crazy~.

You shouldn’t be angry.

Oh, you tell me how to feel now. I see.

It’s not any of your business, Maddox.

Not any of my-- [one hARD LAUGH.] Honey, you made it my business when you pulled me into that backseat on Monday and told me how you didn’t care about your boyfriend and just wanted me to fuck you.

Okay, yes. I did that. And I told you that I wanted to keep doing it. But that doesn’t mean that I put my actual relationship on the back burner. It can’t work that way.

[Maddox gives her this wide-eyed look of disbelief, and his whole attitude right now reads, ‘i’M GONNA RIP MY HAIR OUT’.] You already did that whEN YOU HAD SEX WITH ME WHILE DATING HIM. You c h e a t e d on him, Lucy. With me. IN CASE YOU FORGET THAT BIT OF INFORMATION. That’s not exactly puTTING HIM FIRST.

It is when he doesN’T KNOW ABOUT IT.

It still COUNTS, LUCY.

And it counted when we had sex the first time, and I had to watch Harley be attached to your hip for a week while you pretended I didn’t exist. It’s practically the same thing!

STOP using that Harley bullshit to try to justify yourself.

It also counted when we had sex again, and you were flirting with some girl the Monday after, and you told me you could do what you wanted because I wasn’t your girlfriend. I don’t have to justify myself to anyone! And especially not to you! You fucking hypocrite!

So, what? You’re just gonna go to his house, and you’re gonna sleep with him like nothing ever happened? Is that it?

I have that right. He’s my boyfriend, Maddox.

You’ve done a damn good job of showing how much that word means to you.

Look, sorry. I can’t always choose you over him, okay? I can’t do that.

Oh, no. Don’t apologize, sweetheart. He is your boyfriend, after all, right? I’m just the guy you come to when you wanna fuCK IN THE BACKSEAT OF A CAR. 

And who am I to you??? One more person in a long list of people that YOU have slept with. Recently too, I’m sure, because there’s no way you haven’t been sleeping with other people.

[MADDOX GETS ALL KINDS OF OFFENDED BC HE LITERALLY HASN’T IN A FRIGGIN MONTH, BUT HE’S NOT GONNA SAY THAT, IS HE? A SCOFF.] Oh, yeah. You’re so right, Lucy. Last night, the night before that, and before that– in fact, totally had someone lined up for tonight just in case you were busy. NO BIG D E A L, righT? [too hot.] Because I’m not your boyfriend, and you’re not my girlfriend, and if we want to fuck other people besides each other, then that’s just f i n e. [being facetious because he’s annoyed that she would a s s u m e that about the situation.]

[anD LUCY WAS PROBABLY HOPING HE’D PROVE CARMEN WRONG HERE BY SAYING THAT HE H A D N ‘ T BEEN SLEEPING WITH ANYONE ELSE, SO SHE JUST DEFLATES.] Yeah… that was my point…

Well, at least we’re on the same page then.

Yeah. For once, I think we both are.

Great. Awesome. Glad to hear it. So, listen. Whatever game it is you’re playing, I’m fucking done with it. No more having to worry about your parents finding out about anything, and no pressure to dump your perfect guy just so you can have unattached sex with ~the scum of the earth~ once a week. I’d hate to ruin that perfect relationship.

Maddox-- [Oops, is that a shaky voice?]

 And ya know what? I really thought you knew how to be honest. Because I actually fucking believed--...

B-Believed what?

That you give a shit, Lucy. But what you told me the other day-- it’s right. You do lie. And it’s all so you can get whatever the hell you want with no consequences. [mAJOR EYE ROLL, AS HE STOMPS OUT OF THE CLASSROOM, PROBABLY SLAMMING THE DOOR. AND HE’S GONE.]

[So, Lucy’s left alone, and the bell probably rang while they were yelling, so there’s a late bell now, but Lucy’s not going to class right now. She’s not doing that at all. Bad idea. She’s just gonna sit on the classroom floor, and question herself. And there’s probably a little bit of this:]