#i am grateful the trailer took so long to come out because it looks like they’re actually trying to make a good saw movie

[iamdieterbravo]

SO HOFFMAN IS CONFIRMED TO BE IN SAW X!!!!!

[munsonsmixtapes]

From the prompt list I am BEGGING for 14 and 48 with Eddie PLEASE 😩 (optional but it could also be so cute if he kneels down and ties readers shoe after it gets untied before reader even notices)

I love this idea! Thanks so much for the request, lovely!

Prompts used: 14. “How many times do I have to tell you that I love you before you believe it?” and 48. “I’m going to fucking worship you.”

Eddie x fem!reader

cw: MDNI 18+ oral (f receiving) wee bit of hurt/comfort

Despite being with Eddie for over a year, you still felt yourself getting insecure about your relationship. He had been your first and only boyfriend and you still weren’t used to that kind of attention or affection all the time. Other men hadn’t really even looked your way until he came around so constantly having someone treat you with so much love and care was still new.

Eddie was one of the sweetest men you had come across in your town full of assholes. He’d always pay the check when you’d go out, keep your favorite snacks in his pantry, and even lay his jacket down when you came across a puddle so your shoes wouldn’t get wet.

He was also so patient with you when you got insecure about your relationship. Any time you’d get jealous or need a little more reassurance, he’d just pull you into his arms and tell you that he loved you and that there was nothing to worry about, but that only worked for so long.

It usually got bad when you were falling asleep, your anxieties reaching their peak and getting the best of you. You’d just let it all swirl around in your mind, driving yourself mad as you laid awake, your boyfriend sound asleep next to you.

What if it was all an elaborate prank?

What if he was just lying about loving you to make you feel better?

What if he was going to break up with you because your insecurities were getting too much?

Those were the questions that haunted you even though you were sure that it was all in your head. That was really the root of the problem. It was all just unnecessary worries that your brain had come up with out of nowhere.

“And then I said-honey? You still with me?” You zoned back in and realized that you were with Eddie in his van as he was driving you home after a date. He gave your thigh a squeeze where his hand was resting on it and you turned to him.

“I’m good, Eds, I swear.” You definitely weren’t, but you didn’t want to tell him that. You couldn’t have that conversation yet again.

“No bs?” That was Eddie’s way of asking if you were lying because he knew you would just so you wouldn’t have to have the conversation. He always wanted you to feel like you could talk to him about whatever was bothering you.

“Maybe a little.” He pulled up to his trailer and and put the van in park before unbuckling his seatbelt and turning to face you.

“Alright,” he sighed. “Let’s talk inside.” He rounded the front of the van and opened the door for you. He held his hand out to you and you took it, hopping down from the seat.

Before you could get too far, Eddie stopped you and crouched down to tie your shoe. It warmed your heart that he would do stuff like that for you even when he was upset with you. It showed just how selfless he was when it came to the people he loved.

And Eddie did love you. He loved you so much that he couldn’t handle it. His heart was just so full of the feeling and it hurt him knowing that you had yet to believe that he really did feel that way about you. Maybe just one more time and you’d be sure.

Eddie led you inside the trailer and you were grateful that Wayne wasn’t home to hear you argue. Eddie kept hold of your hand, giving it a squeeze as soon as stepping closer to you. His other hand grabbed hold of your jaw, gently lifting your head so you would look up at him. His eyes bored into yours and you already knew what he was going to say and you didn’t want to hear it.

“How many times do I have to tell you that I love you before you believe it?” His other hand moved to the other side of your face, moving it so that it was only inches away from yours.

“I don’t know. I’m sorry, okay? I just-”

“What, honey?” His voice was so soft and sweet and you felt like you didn’t deserve it.

“No one’s ever felt that way about me before and I guess-I guess I just don’t understand why someone could.” Eddie pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead before wrapping his arms around your shoulders to pull you into a hug.

“Oh, honey,” he rested his chin on top of your head while your arms wrapped around his waist. He had no idea that you had felt that and wished he had asked instead of just assuming that you didn’t love him back.

“I’m sorry.” He couldn’t believe that you were apologizing for the way you felt. You couldn’t control that.

“Nothing to be sorry about, honey.” His hands rubbed along your back as he pulled back to look at you. “How about I show you just how much I love you?”

“Show me?” You bat your eyelashes and Eddie felt his dick getting hard.

“I’m going to fucking worship you.” He pulled you into a messy kiss filled with clanking teeth and noses pressing into cheeks, but you eventually figured it out. He licked into your mouth and you let him in as he backed you up to the couch.

He pushed you down onto it and placed himself on top of you before pulling you in for another rough kiss. Your hands slid down his back and grabbed onto the bottom of his shirt before pulling it over his head. It dropped to the floor in a messy pile and Eddie’s fingers fumbled with the buttons of your cardigan. He unbuttoned them one by one and it eventually opened, your tits on full display.

Eddie had seen you naked so many times, but every time always seemed like the first when he got a view of your naked chest. He dove in and licked a stripe across one of your nipples before pulling the whole thing into his mouth, giving it a suck.

“Fuck,” you moaned, your hands moving into his hair and pressing into his scalp. He sucked and licked, causing multiple moans to fall from your lips, tugging onto his hair as you did so.

Once you thought he was done, he took your nipple between his teeth and gave it a pull, causing you to bury your fingers further into his hair, pulling on whatever strands you could grasp.

“Eddie, oh my god, so good.”

“You like that?” He chuckled and moved over to your other tit, hovering his mouth other it, wanting to make you beg for it.

“More,” was all you were able to say. “Please, Eddie.”

“Love your tits, honey,” he said, glancing up at your face before moving his gaze back to your breasts. “Honestly the best set I’ve ever seen.”

“Really?”

“Don’t believe me?” Of course you believed him. He complimented your tits any chance he got.

“I don’t know. I think I need some more.” You were desperate for his mouth back on you, needing to feel his teeth and tongue.

“Okay,” he nodded and took your other nipple into his mouth, giving it an even harder suck and you arched your back in pleasure.

“Sh-shit, Eddie. Fuck!” Eddie felt himself get even more hard at your moans, always loving watching you come undone by just him using his mouth. He licked, sucked and bit until your nipple was red and kissed his way down your stomach.

“God, you’re so fucking hot,” he said as his lips got to your bellybutton. He pressed a kiss to it then continued down to the top of your skirt. “I mean it, honey. You’re a fucking smoke show.”

Your cheeks were burning at his compliments and you loved how easily how they fell out of his mouth, knowing how much he meant them even though your insecurity told you that he was lying.

“Can I take this off? Need to taste you.”

“Please take it off. I need to feel your mouth on my pussy.” Your words came out so breathy and desperate and Eddie found your neediness so hot.

He quickly pulled your panties off out from under his skirt and toss them aside before quickly unzipping the side of your skirt and both of you widened your eyes when you heard a ripping noise.

“It’s fine,” you waved it off.

“I can sew it back together,” he assured you before pulling the skirt down your legs and letting it fall to the floor.

Eddie got off of the couch and lowered himself down on his knees before grabbing onto your ankle and pulling you so your ass was at the edge of the couch cushion. He then spread your legs and let out a whistle as he took sight of your pussy.

“Damn, sugar, this might be the wettest you’ve ever been. Can’t wait to get a taste.”

He held up one of your legs and slowly kissed all the way up to your thigh then did the same thing with your other one before draping both of them over his shoulders. He then dove into your cunt, his nose brushing it, causing you to let out a gasp. He started out slow, licking back and forth from your slit to your clit, then began to suck.

“Eddie,” you moaned, your hands finding his hair again. He continued to suck and lick, swirling his tongue around as he did so, driving you absolutely wild.

“Think this is the best you’ve ever tasted honey, swear to god,” he moaned.

Eddie grabbed onto your thighs and pulled you closer so he had more access to your cunt and shoved his tongue inside it, swirling it around as you reached your climax. Your legs tighten around his head and his hands moved to your waist, digging into the skin as he worked his magic with his mouth.

“Eddie, I think I’m gonna-”

“I think you already did,” he looked up at you with a devilish grin then pressed a kiss to your bud before removing your legs from his shoulders. He rested his hands on your knees and looked up at you with his pretty brown eyes.

“Now do you see how much I love you?”

“I think I’m starting to.” With that, Eddie picked you up and carried to the bathroom where the two of you shared a much needed shower, exchanging “I love you’s” to each other while you cleaned each other up.

[ebaylee422]

Labored Love

Eddie x Reader

Draft Valentine Blurb, Fluff

Author’s Note: A cute little valentine’s day burb that needs to see the light of day since I’ve lost interest but I headcannon hard that Eddie’s Mama is Latinx because how did this poor trailer living man get such nice hair even when wet if it weren’t for his heritage. Enjoy the fluff of our beloved Munson Men

Word Count: 1.2 K

“Happy Valentine's Day, M’lady.” He opened the door to the trailer lined with rose petals from the door to his bedroom. 

“Oh Eddie this is so precious!” I jump to hug him, a flash from the hallway interrupts. Turning to see Wayne ready for work, holding a polaroid camera up to his line of sight.

“Welcome to the Love Shack, now big kiss you love birds!” I have to move Eddie’s hair behind his ear to kiss him. Another flash happens and he doesn’t let go until I pat his shoulder needing air,

“Thanks for staying,” he walks over to Wayne taking the polaroids from the counter and looking through them.

“Hi, Y/N.”

“Hi Uncle Wayne, Happy Valentine's Day.” I say kissing his cheek, giving him a huge hug before reaching into my bag, ”Now I know you don’t like presents but this is food so it doesn’t quite count. It’s just to show how grateful I am to be a part of your family.”

“Y/N-”

“Please, Wayne! I insist, open it.” I begged, bouncing with excitement giving him the biggest puppy dog eyes like Eddie said.

“Eddie, why didn’t you talk her out of this?” He turns to the boy leaning on the counter,

“Believe me I tried, she even got me to aid her in this torment! She’s very persuasive.” Shaking his head Wayne opens the box of homemade empanada’s, his brow furrowed in confusion looking at Eddie with a giant grin. He adjusts his stance turning to me again,

“Did you make these?” He asks with glossy eyes, all I could do is nod in response. 

“I know you don’t like sweets, but they’re actually quite savory like Eddie promised. The filling is Pork and Apples-” He sets the box on the end table near me, picking me up in his arms into a bone crushing hug. Closing my eyes, I hugged him just as tightly back.

Even if Wayne wasn’t Eddie's biological father, he always wanted to be and he became him. In every other imaginable way, they took care of and loved each other as father and son. Even welcoming me as his own too, despite my flaws and struggles. The love I felt for Wayne, the closest thing I’ll have for a father for a long time coming. It is indescribable and natural, a tear escaped my closed eyes as hard as I tried to push the emptiness down of losing that person. Dad and Jim, they weren’t coming back but god did Wayne love me just as fiercely as they would. He shook out a laugh and crushed ‘thank you’ into my shoulder, setting me back down. Pulling away, he wiped a hand down the length of his face and squeezed my bicep. Stepping towards his nephew, giving him the same embrace only unable to pick up his boy now. 

“I love you, Son.” He told Eddie, loud enough for me to hear through the swell of emotion in the room. Eddie buried his face into Wayne’s shoulder, dipping his head in agreement.

“I love you too, Dad.” Their arms loosened around each other, Wayne pushed Eddie's hair out of his face. Holding his face tightly, pinching his nose to stop the onset of more tears he turned back around.

“If these are half as good as your mother’s, which I couldn’t imagine a world they aren’t. And you don’t marry that woman-” He started, pointing a finger at me standing in the entryway. Eddie held his up in surrender, eyebrow hidden under his overgrown bangs and tongue poking out of his closed lips. 

“Then and only then will you be sleeping outside in that van of yours, while we eat these all to ourselves.” He clapped Eddie on the back turning to his box of goodies, with a joval smile plastered to his face. Taking out three, passing them amongst us.

“Now this was my third attempt, I’m still struggling with the dough to filling ratio and not burning them-” Neither of them were listening as they bit into the empanada’s, each respectively had a unique shape of their own but the thought clearly made it all worth the while. When both of them shared respective groans and nods of approval,

“This batch is delicious!” Eddie said through the remaining mouth full of his, sighing in relief I took out another large tupperware of them from the tote.

“Good because Steve, Robin and the kids are sick of eating them.” Eddie squealed in excitement, kissing my cheek.

“I love you.” He looked like his heart were about to explode any minute,

“Shit!” Wayne said, looking at his watch, grabbing the rest of his definite lunch for the first time in a long time for his shift ahead of him. Walking around where Eddie and I blocked in the small space, patting him on the back and kissing me on the cheek as he went for his work boots at the door. “Thank you children, but if I stay any longer than I insisted tonight for photos my team will string me up. Or worse, think I was enjoying myself for once in ten years. Be good! No noise complaints, please!” He ran out the door of the trailer, starting up his truck making his tires skid on the gravel pathway out of the park.

“Too much?” I giggled watching from the side window, empanada still in hand.

“Nah, he’s old with a heart of gold. He’ll never forget it. Now me on the other hand?” His hand on my waist twisted me to be face to face with him, lips still swollen from the car from this angle I could make out every fine line and beauty mark on his face. The small scar above his eye from falling as a child. The closed batched ear piercing in his left ear when he was going through a faze. They way his lashes kissed the faint dark circles under his eyes, eyes of molten chocolate swirls to sweet for this world.

“You?” I choked, drunk on him already.

“Yes, you nearly got me in trouble little miss!” He squished my sides in his hands, making me gasp with faux distress.

“Oh no...” I shook my head pouting to hide my laugh,

“Yep, what are we gonna do about that?” His nose crunched adorably, hugging me to his waist.

“Guess you’ll just have to marry me Munson, that way you’ll never have to sleep  in that Van while you uncle and I enjoy my cooking.” I cupped his face in my hand, soft and smelling of the aftershave he used before dinner.

“I will marry you one day,” His lips cascaded over mine in a barely there gesture, a promise, “Marry you so hard.” He smiled against my lips before dipping further to close the distance.

“Good thing you a man of your word.” I rubbed our noses together unable to contain my smile.

“Yes Wayne taught me well.”

“Indeed he did, but maybe you can indulge in some of the naughty thing I taught you?” My hands smoothed down his shirt on his chest, quickly before he swept my feet from under me in a feat of passion and strength.

“Yea Ma’am! 86′ is definitely my year baby!” He yelled as he dragged me to his room,

“Eddie! No noise complaints!” I laughed clapping his shoulders on the way to the rest of our lives.

Masterlist

[thetorturerwrites]

Grey Ch 1: Slippery When Wet

A/N: Well, here I am again but with something new. For background, this story takes place in modern times. I lived through the 80s, and I just can't bring myself to write about them. I also feel strongly that you can move the entire ST cast and story forward 40 years, and everything still works. There is always a group of misfits.

We'll be skirting the line between reader insert and OC, but I figure if we as readers can imagine ourselves as cheerleaders or secret agents, you can come with me on this particular journey.

Lastly, I don't have any fancy content warnings since this story is in its infancy, but I will update them as I go. I also don't like to disclose my plans. So, you'll just have to be as surprised as I am when updates occur. ;)

I hope you enjoy.

For @fracturedarkness

***

The first time you saw Eddie Munson, you sat outside your trailer doing your very best to dissociate from your past.

Fall had not yet turned into winter, but here in Indiana, the predominantly flat landscape made the strong chill in the air bite at your cheeks and sting your eyes. It was unfamiliar terrain, a stark difference from what you’d left, but you told yourself you’d drive until you ran out of gas. But when you did, it still didn’t feel far enough. You hastily refueled and kept on driving, ending up in Hawkins, Indiana. It felt like another world, light years away from the one you’d fled. 

And so there you sat, in a rickety, green, folding lawn chair outside a half-orange, single-wide, drafty trailer bundled up in a hoodie, thick boots, and the only pair of blue jeans you still owned. The drab, brown grass and near winter-dormant trees matched your mood - somber. You reminded yourself to be grateful for this freedom, this fresh air, this small, rusted out circle containing the fire you’d built to keep warm. A month ago, this patchy driveway, disturbingly freezing trailer, and miles and miles of silence were an impossibility.

You moved in through a sheet of rain and spent the next far-too-long using that rain as an excuse to hide inside and not step foot out into the world. When the rain stopped, you exited your tin can to a new type of sunlight. The air was purer here, stripped of noise and smog. With the ground finally dried out, you could start the long overdue task of a fire in the pit you were pretty sure you’d stolen from someone else’s yard. You told yourself it was for a higher purpose because tonight’s primary goal was to burn up every shred of anything that could identify you to anybody who might come looking. 

You’d set your world on fire to be out here, might as well set the past on fire to match.

God, never let them come looking, you silently prayed.

You didn’t hear the van pull up, not even registering the muted metal thumping inside it, even when its driver threw the door open and spilled Judas Priest out into the night. Your focus was on the latest picture you’d tossed into the flames, watching as the smiling faces on the shiny surface blackened, blistered, and curled into themselves. Gone to nothing, like it all was. Rifling through the box for the next memory, you barely registered the crunch of boots crossing the road.

It wasn’t until a voice, masculine and smooth, broke your reverie that you even blinked. But once you did, it took a flurry of lashes, eyelids rapid-fire opening and shutting, to clear your vision before you could actually see the person standing across from you.

“Hey there?” He waved his hand in your direct line of sight until you looked at his face. “Hi. You good? Been trying to get your attention for a few minutes now.”

Canting your head slightly to the left, you studied him, all long limbs and curly hair. He was attractive in a sweet sort of way with a clear fondness for the color black. Scuffed up black boots, black jeans with worn out knees, a black and white shirt that looked to say something about hell, and an oversized black leather coat decorated with a jean vest layer. He looked as though he walked straight out of the 1980s, but in a way that was strangely charming. Charming was nothing you had room for in your life these days, regardless of how pretty he was.

Shaking your head gently, you looked down into the pale blue box, still half full, lifted out a spindly pine cone, and threw it into the fire with more force than you intended. You watched it bounce before settling into a smoldering pile of dried roses and yellow paper.

“Yeah, I’m good.” Not really in the mood for chitchat, you furrowed your brow and refocused on your task, hoping he would leave. A long, uncomfortable moment passed, though, in which he didn’t seem to get the hint. With a huff, you forced your voice into a semblance of civility. “Need something, Mister…?”

You let the word linger, assuming he was at least socially adept enough to understand the cue. When you looked up at him again, there was an amiable smile on his face, and you almost regretted the annoyance you felt a second ago.

“Eddie.” He sat - no, plopped himself pointedly right there - down on the grass across from your makeshift fire pit, happy as a pig in mud. “Name’s Eddie. Mister Munson is my uncle.” He pointed over his shoulder to the trailer directly across from yours.

"You live with your uncle?" You asked carelessly only to be slammed with immediate embarrassment. Being rude was never your intention.

He smirked.

"Yeah. It works. I work days, him nights. Saves money. Keeps the place from feeling so lonely."

If your judgment put him off, he didn't show it. 

“So, whatcha up to? Missus…?”

You chuffed a slight laugh. You couldn’t help it when he mimicked you exactly, complete with a higher tone that made you appreciate the deep, richness of his natural voice. You contemplated telling him your name, but you’d promised yourself nobody would ever know where you’d gone or what became of you. Telling him your name felt like breaking that promise too soon.

“You can call me…” 

Your eyes darted around, surveying what was close by to find anything that would work. Catching on the sleeve of your hoodie, you nodded to yourself. That’s the answer.  

“… Grey.” To match my mood, you thought. To match everything about my damn life. “And I’m…” 

You trailed off again, eyes drawn back to the crackling flames eating up your history. Memory pinched your lips, and you shook your head, numbed now by all the spent emotions, as well as the frigid air. 

“Just enjoying the fire.”

Eddie hummed, nodding along as though he heard all your private thoughts and could feel their weight. He said nothing for a long time, and right when you thought he’d get up to leave, which made you feel a funny way, he broke the silence again.

“You just moved here, yeah?” Rummaging in his coat pocket, he pulled out a pack of Marlboro reds and a silver Zippo. “D’you mind?” 

He waved the pack at you, seeking your permission to smoke his own cigarette in your company. Against your better sense, you found it endearing.

“Yeah. Few weeks. No, don’t mind.” 

Two weeks and three days, exactly, but he didn’t need to know you kept track of how many days it had been since you’d begun this crazy endeavor. There were a lot of things you didn’t want Eddie, or anybody, to know. All of it stuffed way down inside and locked up tight. The only tangible evidence of your previous life sat heavy on your knees, a weight you desperately wanted to be rid of.

From inside the box, you drew another stack of papers - bills, letters, probably some legal stuff - and tossed them onto the burning heap. Bit by bit, the person you used to be became more and more of a myth. Glancing at your unexpected companion, you watched as he lit and drew a deep inhale from the cigarette. You thought he would surely twist or turn his head so he could read the words stamped on the topmost bill, your government name all across the front of it, but to his credit, Eddie simply stretched out his arm and offered you a drag.

“Want?”

“No thanks,” you shook your head, unable to stop the wrinkling of your nose, “I don’t like the smell.” You blinked a few times as your brain caught up to what you said. “Which seems stupid right now considering we are sitting at a fire that I built myself.”

He laughed - just once, a delighted bark in the now darkness. It shocked you how much the laugh transformed his face. The apples of his cheeks grew more pronounced, and his lips pursed attractively. He shook his head and flicked the cigarette into the fire to burn up alongside your history.

“Not stupid,” he smiled at you, warm and genuine. “Been meaning to quit anyhow. This what you do for fun?”

You couldn’t stop the stirrings of a smile.

“Oh yeah,” you nodded exaggeratedly, “every chance I get. You?”

He was practically giddy at your sudden participation but played it off coy, boyish almost. His fawn-brown eyes twinkled.

“Mmm I’m gonna hold on to that little nugget of intel.” He rubbed his hand across his face, but you couldn’t tell if it was to hide his delighted grin or to keep himself under control. “M’tryna be cool here.”

He winked at you, all cheeky-like, and you couldn’t breathe for a second.

“And this way, we’ll have something to talk about next time.”

You could hear the offer in his voice, the openness and welcoming. It shot two arrows directly into the center of your heart - one warm, trying to crack you open a fraction more and one icy cold, warning you that this was too risky, too reckless.

Pay attention! 

Your anxiety screamed, straining at the seams of your insides until your head pounded and your ears rang.

“Ok. Sure…..cool…..” 

Your voice trailed off because you noticed the details of him now. Details you’d missed before since you’d been directly in the center of your personal pity party.

The world went upside down. 

Beat-up, old van. Long hair. Hell-something t-shirt. You belatedly registered the silver rings adorning several fingers and the guitar pick strung around his neck. Your eyes flicked from him to his van, trying to remember what had been playing when he rolled out of it this evening.

Judas Priest. Eddie was a metal head, which meant he was undoubtedly in a band, which further meant he was unquestionably a drinker or a drug user. Fuck, maybe even another goddamn drug dealer. A heavy sigh escaped, accompanied by the sag of your shoulders.

You didn’t need another version of that guy. You’d barely escaped the last one.

“Y’ok there?”

The way he looked at you was unnerving. No, the way he watched you was unnerving. He obviously recognized the moment you went from calm to anxious, and it bothered you he’d seen it. 

Without really doing much, he invited you in, making some kind of space for you to feel seen and safe. But the quickness with which he made you feel at peace left you troubled. You’d lived with those uneasy feelings for far too long - the kind that had your stomach in knots and your jaw clenched as you waited for the next catastrophe. That anxiety was your constant companion, and you couldn't fathom letting it go.

Better the devil you know than the ones you don't. 

You drummed agitated fingers against the corners of the box before abruptly deciding to upturn the entire thing into the fire. Standing too fast, you ignored the dizzy feeling in your head and stomped on the box with your boot to make sure it would all catch.

“Well, uh, it was nice to meet you, Eddie.” You kicked at the fire again, moving the debris around and sending bursts of smoke and ash into the air. “See you around sometime.”

It was dangerous to leave the fire unattended; you knew. But sticking around for Eddie to see too much or ask the right question you didn’t think you’d be able to not answer was even more dangerous. He was easy. Easy to be around. Easy to like. Easy to talk to. And that was simply unacceptable.

So, you did the thing you’d been doing for months.

You ran.

You slammed the door shut behind you with enough force to shake the trailer walls and turned off all the lights before sinking down onto the threadbare carpet floor in the very center of the practically empty room. Dropping your head into your hands, you waited, hoping he’d understand this cue, too, and leave you alone.

Eddie

“You can call me Grey.”

It certainly wasn’t your name, but somehow, it suited you, at least in Eddie’s estimation. You were beautiful, but you were also hemorrhaging color, joy, and want for life. It showed on your face - pretty features that lay flat with no spark to animate them.

He noticed you immediately when you moved into the trailer park. You spoke to no one, you hardly left your place, and you moved in with only an Army green duffel bag and a pillow, as far as he could tell. He never saw you unload anything else from your car, a ragged, sky blue Pinto that looked oddly right parked not so far away from his van. They would be best friends, of course.

Gradually, over the course of about a week, you stepped outside more often, and he relished the opportunities to study you. He guessed you to be roughly his height, maybe an inch or two shorter. Curvaceous, he decided even though you dressed in long pants and sleeves no matter the time of day. He couldn’t quite tell about your hair color, though. It seemed to change from morning to night, which he chalked up to the sunlight that was always in his damn face when he tried to watch you in the mornings.

At first, he felt a little creepy, but it was unavoidable. You were the most fascinating person to have ever set off his Misfit Radar. Collecting renegades and weirdos turned out to be a lifelong commitment for Eddie, though it was less intentional these days than it had been in high school. And you? 

You had ‘outsider’ written all over you. He simply couldn’t help himself from seeking that connection.

So, here he was, trying - and failing - to make conversation when it was obvious all you wanted was to burn things that used to hold meaning. He was hard-wired to keep going, however, and he wanted you to crack out of that shell just enough to make the awkwardness worth it. He might know the right things to say to the oddballs and freaks, but inside, he always felt clumsy and nervous when talking to someone he found attractive.

And you were fucking gorgeous. 

Once or twice, you responded beyond the bare minimum, more than out of politeness, and he saw that spark in you - the brief flash of feeling beneath all the fear, and he was right. It made the nervousness worthwhile. And when you smiled? Shot through the heart, and you were to blame. He couldn’t help but want to make you smile again. He had a feeling you didn’t do it enough. He also got the impression that whatever it was you ran from, you’d never be far enough away. But maybe he could help make you feel safe here, safe enough to start over.

For reasons he didn’t quite understand, he wanted that very much. 

Long after he’d spooked you, he stayed. He understood running, but he also knew you had to make the choice to stop and be in the hard moments. It was Dustin who taught him how to push through the fear, and Eddie knew that sometimes, a person needed to see the behavior modeled before they felt comfortable enough to try it. It had certainly been true for him. 

Making himself that model - even not knowing whether you could see him - he kept his eyes on the fire that was so important to you, ensuring every piece, including the box itself, burned away, all while listening for the faintest sounds of stirring inside. He wanted you to know he was still here, but he didn’t want to push you because that truly would be creepy. None came. If you knew he lingered, you didn’t give him any sign.

Quietly, trying hard to not disturb you, he tended your fire, made sure there was nothing recognizable left, and put out the flames. He mixed the ashes with the dirt and folded your lawn chair against the trailer so it wouldn’t blow away in case the wind kicked up. 

And then, he went home for the night - albeit reluctantly.

Foregoing food or a shower or a smoke, he dropped into his messy bed, shook the hair from his face, and stared at the ceiling for a long time. He normally smelled like cigarettes, sometimes weed, but tonight, he smelled of campfire smoke and the nighttime air. It made him think of you, and he imagined fifty different ways he would try to talk to you tomorrow. Maybe you’d be outside tomorrow morning, seeing that he worked your fire for you, and he’d wave as he drove off to work. Maybe you’d be sitting out there when he came home, and he could keep you company again. Bring you a beer or something.

Or maybe, he’d be brave and walk right over there to knock on your door.

He made so many plans that he drifted off to sleep without settling on a specific one…

[absolutebl]

This Week In BL

May 2021 Wk 2

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Lovely Writer Ep 12 fin - that was a long arse final ep, but solid performances. I liked that we focused on the fallout amongst the side characters. (Very clever of them to depict Chap with Tae, his Y-Destiny pairing. Especially as both actors are slated for new BL roles with different partners again, The Tuxedo and You’re My Sky.) The camera certainly enjoyed wallowing in Sib & Gene’s separation, but that’s an Asian drama for you. They like to DWELL. (Frankly, I like a bit of wallowing myself.) I thought the inclusion of the “actual” writer at the very end thoroughly unnecessary. I don’t think they had to beat us over the head with the 4th wall meta quite that much. Still, this is probably one of the best BLs we’re getting from non-GMMtV Thailand this year. RECOMMENDED 

Y-Destiny Ep 8 - (Thurs) I found the first half uninteresting but once Casper the Friendly Gay showed up it was fine. The ghost reminded me a bit of Fuse from MIR. 

Close Friend Ep 4: (Just One Life) - is it just me or is Talay insanely charismatic? Anygay, the director got ahold of a drone for this one and would like us to KNOW ABOUT THAT FACT. Look, I just don’t think YoonLay have great chemistry but this was alright, cute enough. 

Fish Upon The Sky Ep 6 - This was a better installment than we’ve had in a while. I like the obsession vs love explanation from Mork, insightful if creepy. Meen & Duean are okay, I guess. A bit annoying. Everyone in this show is a bit annoying. But the wipe toothpaste then wipe eye crud got to me. Toothpaste in the eye, yech! And then I was all, oh that’s basically this show: toothpaste in the eye. It just reviewed itself. (Also why do they keep switching aspect ratio between the two pairs? It’s like they were filming with two completely different camera types... oh. ah. Weird, GMMTV usually doesn’t make mistakes like that.) 

Call it What You Want Ep 6 fin - I skipped to the last ep on this, I told you I do that sometimes to find out what happened. So CIWYW ends happy for the main couple, but trigger warnings on: eating disorders, suicidal thoughts, depression, mental abuse, and a few other things. If you don’t mind your BL dark, gritty, self aware, and honest then you should be okay with this show. But if your preference is for fluff, then there are other fish in the sky. Speaking of... 

Nitiman Ep 2 - Giving me My Engineer vibes. This is OLD school Thai uni BL. I kinda feel like it was meant to come out in 2018, the gap year that was, but I am SO GRATEFUL we’re getting it now. Pay TF attention FUTS this is how you redeem a tsundere uke. Also I love that Bboom is just a terrible flirt and the football match twist was great. I love this show.  

Top Secret Together Ep 1 - it’s out there but no eng subs. It’s an office set romance with multiple couples all tangential to one building. A bit stilted and low production values but I’m intrigued. I hope we get subs... eventually.  

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

HIStory 4: Close To You (Taiwan) Ep 9 - gets the safe sex gold star for lube + condoms AND a verse discussion? Not to mention asking for sex advice from queer fam? Is this a first in BL? Might be. (I still think it’s weird that product placement hasn’t jumped on the lube bandwagon, too slippery perhaps?) I like the embezzlement drama. I always enjoy good outside conflict playing to setting, and this is the kind to be easily resolved in next week’s finale. What a roller coster this series has been. 

Papa & Daddy (Taiwan) Ep 5 - I LOVE THIS SHOW. A heartbeat after i thought, “they better address what he’s doing to the girls he’s dating,” they did it. Clever scripting that. The messaging is gorgeous, the idea that pride and media coverage and knowing about a changing world can broaden minds and lead to acceptance was basically Taiwan making a case for itself paving the way for marriage equality in Asia. Genius. 

Most Peaceful Place 2 (Vietnam) Ep 1 (AKA 4) - dropped with subs and improved production values, someone is learning (or got more dough). The younger brother’s drama is a bit confusing, but I am here for cute boyfriends being cute boyfriends together. And I love that they took the seme’s previous pair (from Nation’s Brother) to be the faen fatale, very crafty of them. Even though it’s not a trope I like, there’s great chemistry all around. 

My Lascivious Boss (Vietnam) Ep 6 - I weirdly love this show, okay? I’m just hoping Long has known Minh’s secret all along and is playing a reverse long con cat & mouse game, waiting for Minh to tell him the truth. Because that would be THE BEST. I could do without the faen fatale but ya can’t have everything. (I’m so glad it’s not the standard 6 ep arc, MOAR!!!) 

Gossip 

Rumor is GMMTV Thailand started shooting Baker Boys (here’s the teaser trailer). This is a remake of Antique (AKA Antique Bakery) a 2008 Korean movie (you can watch it on Viki) which is a remake of Antique (a 2001 Japanese series) with is an adaptation of wildly popular manga Antique Bakery. Knowing the plot I’m not sure this will qualify as BL. I’m still predicting Lee gets his first gay kiss in this series from Singto. More details about this series here. 

Breaking News

Love Area release pushed out, reportedly due to C19. (source DramaCool) 

Be Love In House: I Do (Taiwan, of course, with that title) got a new softer trailer (no subs). It drops next week, May 19, 2021 on Viki. All the information I have is here. 

Tangential to BL 

Two BL-adjacent shows, both from Taiwan. 

I’m watching Love is Science? on Viki which has a het foundation, but it’s a good one. There’s a BL side couple who are on an enemies to lovers slow burn trajectory; featuring a disaster bi slut meets elegant bad ass super gay. So there’s THAT. The mains are an older career woman and the sweet boy from her distant past who has pined for her for years. (He is the softest sweetest service sub you ever saw.) Props to Taiwan for a seriously underused het dynamic. As usual in Asian rom coms the straight boy love interest is a Perfect Cinnamon Role (yes I’m looking at you True Beauty & Love O2O) but I find Taiwan’s version more palatable than Korea’s or Mainland China’s. It’s not finished yet but... RECOMMENDED. 

Starting this week is Love Outlet a 50 (?!) episode show about a mall that sells relationships. It is supposed to have a main gay romance, but it might be a side dish. Very little else known about it. Coming to Line TV.

Honestly, I’m at the point where if Taiwan makes it, I’ll probably watch it. 

Next Week Looks Like This:

Some shows may be listed later than actual air date for International accessibility reasons.

Starting:

Be Loved In House: I Do (Taiwan) 

Golden Blood (Thailand) we think, like Love Area this may be delayed due to surging C19 cases 

Love Outlet (Taiwan) we think 

Upcoming 2021 BL master post here.

Links to watch are provided when possible, ask in a comment if I missed something.

[mauvecherie-writes]

Dirty Thirty [Florian Munteanu]

Summary: For Florian’s birthday, you fly out to Sydney to be with him for the celebration of a lifetime.

Warning: NSFW*** BDSM themes. Sex Toys, Anal Play (Fingering and Pegging).

Word count: 3+K

Note: Things are about to get heavy with this one so please if you’re uncomfortable with what will be depicted, NO NOT READ! FIRST AND ONLY WARNING. Uploaded on mobile. Will edit later

A small chuckle left her lips as she thought back to the faces of the security at the border control when she arrived in Australia. Having a suitcase full of adult contraptions would bring a blush to anyone’s face. They looked back at her and silently closed the case and allowed her to eventually leave.

The first stop from the airport was the rented apartment Florian was staying at. She was very thankful to have been friends with the production assistant Sammy, who had the pleasure of driving her around and keeping her company until the cast were able to take a break from filming in about an hour.

“Are you sure that you’re not needed back on set? I can honestly just order an Uber.” YN said as she continued to do her hair. After they had arrived at the apartment, YN took a shower and then changed from her tracksuit into a colourful printed strapless corset top and black high waisted pants that had slits at the bottom by her ankles. YN tied the straps of her heels around the bottom of her trousers.

“Oh it’s fine girl. There’s like five other production assistants and I had let them know that I wouldn’t be there for a couple of hours.” Sammy replied as she surfed through her phone as she waited for YN to finish getting ready. Her hair that was usually in an afro had been silk pressed and then an installation of a long braided ponytail that she could interchange with other hair pieces that were neatly packed in her suitcase.

“So how has shooting been with all the restrictions in place?” YN asked as she packed her small purse and then grabbed a black surgical mask as she stood up, indicating that she was done.

“Honestly, I prefer it this way. The number of unnecessary people around the set has been cut down tremendously. My job is still pretty hectic but now I don’t have entitled set workers demanding me around when I’m specifically for the cast, director and the link to the production company.”

“That’s good. Are people allowed visitors because I feel like I’m breaking rules here.” YN said as they settled back into the car.

“If you had come around May, June time then it would have been a problem but as cases have dropped, a lot of the restrictions have been lifted so it’s not a problem.”

“Oh that’s good then.” The two women continued to engage in conversation as they drove to the location of the set. It was mostly about Sammy sharing the stories of the crazy and bizarre demands of the cast. In particular, Florian had an affinity for the weirdest american chocolate and sweets which Sammy most of the time had to order from online as most australian stores do not sell what he likes.

“And the man can eat! I was so shocked when I had to deliver his lunch for the first time.” Sammy exclaimed.

“Oh yeah! Dude can eat for a whole football team.” YN replied.

“I don’t know how you deal with that everyday.”

“Most of the time, I cook a feast because I know he’ll eventually get hungry and because of my work, I’m not at home most of the time that he’s there and I’d rather he eat what I’ve cooked and not order a takeaway.”

“You’ll be disappointed to know that I don’t think he’s had a home meal since we got here.”

YN laughed in response. “Somehow, I don’t doubt that.”

Their conversation continued to flow as they continued their journey to the area that they were filming. YN was a little skeptical about her presence on set but Sammy let her know that she had been put down on the authorised visitors list, they just didn’t tell Florian.

YN was there as a surprise visit for Florian’s birthday. With his core friendship group all busy, trying to get their business back up and his parents still being at high risk, she did not want him spending his birthday alone. YN began making the arrangements for a birthday trip to him. As her own boss, she made sure to delegate power and responsibilities to her employees so that they knew what to do for the two weeks that she will be gone.

She had a plan and Sammy helped her execute some of it and she was grateful for that. Right now, she was only going to the set location because there wasn’t any

way she was going to wait until he was finished working to see him when they were in the same place. YN had not seen Florian for over three months, she desperately missed him.

As the car pulled into the parking lot, she could feel her eagerness take over but she was going to be patient and wait until she saw him.

As the day drew to a close, the cast and crew had finished with most of the shooting and they were now sitting outside the director’s trailer having a conversation about their days which dove into the crazy stunts the actors have done in the past. Simu was deep into explaining a stunt move that dislocated his shoulder when he stopped talking when he saw Sammy approaching with a beautiful woman behind him.

“Who is that?” When he asked the question, everyone around him turned to face the direction in which he was looking. Florian instantly smiled and pushed his large body up from his chair.

“Baby!” he exclaimed as he walked towards her which left everyone behind him questioning what he said. YN moved past Sammy and ran as fast as her heels could carry her into his arms. She moved her mask and immediately captured his lips and moaned into his mouth when their lips finally met. YN could feel her heart swell tremendously in her chest as their lips moved against each other. His arms tightened around her as he swayed their bodies.

“I missed you so fucking much.” he mumbled against her lips as he placed her back down onto her feet steadily. YN placed her hands onto his cheeks and caressed his beard underneath her fingers.

“I missed you too baby.”

“I can’t believe that you’re here. Why didn’t you tell me that you were coming.”

“Surprise!”

“Ugh.” He engulfed her back into his arms and dropped his head into the crook of her neck. “You don’t understand how happy I am to see you.”

“I wasn’t going to let you enter the next decade by yourself.” She whispered into his ear. When they pulled apart, he took her hand into his and ushered her towards the group of people.

“Guys, this is my girlfriend YN. Babe, this is the crew that had been keeping me company for the past couple of months.” They all eagerly stumbled over their feet to greet her as they were bewildered by her beauty and the fact that Florian had a girlfriend. He kept his personal life very private and never shared anything more than just he was extremely close with his family and had a close knit circle of friends, he always kept contact with. Not once did he mention that he had a girlfriend and seeing her in the flesh, they understood why.

.

They hung around the set for a little longer before they made it back to his trailer and YN lounged on his couch, scrolling through social media as she waited for Florian to finish getting ready for dinner. She caught the scent of his cologne and she sat up straight and took in his appearance. He was dressed in a bright red t-shirt, black ripped fitted jeans with black and white Jordan’s with red laces. Around his neck was his single gold Cuban link chain. Such a simple look that had YN’s thighs clenching.

She got up from her seat and approached him. Her fingers played with his chain as he looked down at her.

“You’re going to make me forget about the plans I had in mind for us tonight.” She whispered as her hands moved his groomed beard and played with it.

“Hmm.” Florian hummed as he bit into his bottom lip. “What did you have in mind?”

“Don’t worry about that baby boy. Mama’s got everything covered.”

“Now I’m intrigued.”

YN kept the smirk on her face as they finally left the set and travelled to the restaurant that Sammy had picked out for them to have dinner. As they sat for dinner, YN kept close to him. She sat beside him, instead of opposite him. One hand was on his lap as they ate their food and she did not go long without kissing his lips. YN was being needy and she did not care how it looked to the outside world and Florian himself did not seem to mind it either. He was being showered by her attention and he greatly welcomed it.

By the time, they got to dessert, YN was ready to go. When the waitress came back to the table to clear their main entree plates, YN turned to her.

“Can we get the chocolate cake in a to go box please?” She asked.

“Sure. Should I bring the bill?”

“Yes please.” When the waitress left, Florian turned to face her.

“I can see the gears in your head turning. What do you have planned?” He asked which caused YN to smile.

“Don't worry about it.”

.

.

And he tried not to and that was until they got back to his apartment. She blindfolded him and took the time to strip him out of his clothes. She got onto her knees in front of him and slowly pulled the fabric down his legs and let him step out of them. Her teeth grazed the flesh of his thighs as she got back to her feet. She placed a soft kiss onto the corner of his mouth.

“Thank you for trusting to take control tonight.” She mumbled softly as she led him to the bed and laid him down.

“Of course.” Florian mumbled his response as he softly gulped as YN took each of his limbs and tied him to the bed. Once he was secure, she tugged on them to make sure that he won’t be able to escape so easily.

“Can you move around?” She asked him.

He tried to sit up but was restricted securely to the mattress.

“No.”

“Hmm.” YN smirked as she moved away from the bed and left Florian alone in silence with only his loud thoughts to keep him company. Anticipation prickled at his skin as he thought about what YN was going to do to him. He was the more dominating figure in the relationship but there were times where Florian relinquished that control to YN and she would take the bull by the horns.

Whenever they explored the trading of places in the bedroom, YN was wild and it exhilarated him. He never needed to say it but whenever she took control, he always came the hardest. She catered to his needs in the best possible way and pushed his boundaries.

He felt her presence back inside of the room by the floral scent of her perfume. The bed dipped as she got onto the bed and straddled his lap to take off the blindfold. As his eyes adjusted to the dim lights of the room, YN stood up straight to let him take in the outfit that she wore for him.

“Fuck, baby.” He groaned as he felt his hardness press into the fabric of his boxers. The leather caged the most intimate parts of her along with the sleeve covering her arms. Leather belts with metal rings wrapped around her thighs and torso like a garter belt and then came up her chest into a choker.

YN smiled as she bit onto her bottom lip as she bent her knees and brought her body down until she was hovering above his cock. She could feel just how hard he was and it made her moan softly.

“Do you like it?” She asked and he nodded his head, unable to speak. His mouth salivated at the sight of her just rendering him speechless. YN pressed her hand into his neck and pushed his head backwards as she dragged her nails down his chest. He hissed as he jerked softly underneath her. She repeated the action again and then pinched his nipples.

“Oh fuck!” He groaned as the acute pain of the pinching of his sensitive nipples sent small jolts of electricity straight to his cock. YN giggled at his reaction and moved her hands away.

“I’m going to have fun playing with you tonight.” YN got off him again and moved to one of her suitcases and opened it. Florian could not see exactly what she was grabbing but he could make out that they were toys. She came back to the bed and dropped everything that she needed. She grabbed a pair of scissors and cut his boxers from her body and another giggle left her lips as Florian reacted to the way she roughly pulled the tarted garments away from his body.

She hungrily licked her lips as she watched his thickness bounce back and hit his abdomen. His tip was weeping with pre-cum and it was a shade of angry red. YN bent forward and held onto his base and brought his tip to her mouth. Her tongue darted out and licked the pre-cum that had seeped out. His hips jerked upwards in response and let out a breathy moan.

“Is this for me baby.”

“Yes.” His voice was strained and it was pleasing to hear. With her other hand, she grabbed a cock ring and attached it to his base before she sat on her hind legs and grabbed the bottle of lube. She popped open the cap and squeezed the contents onto the palm of her hand and wrapped it around his girth. Florian gasped and pulled on the bondage as he failed to stay still.

“Be a good boy for me and stay still. Let me make you feel good but I need you to be still.” YN’s voice was like sweet honey to his ears. He loved it when she used this voice on him. The innocent tone of her voice was a sharp contrast to the explicit words that left her mouth and it was addictive. So he tried to stay still. The muscles of his stomach clenched as he tried not to thrust into her hand to follow her rhythm and chase her pace.

YN could tell that his orgasm was quickly rising from the way his length was throbbing in her hand. As his head fell backwards and his deep moans continued to escape from his chest, YN reached for the small vibrator, quickly turning it on and pressing it onto his tip. Florian choked on his moans as his legs began to thrash about and could not still any longer.

“Mmm. I can feel you about to cum.”

“Please.” Florian managed to say as his orgasm bubbled within the pit of his stomach. He did not think that he could hold himself back any longer and just as he was about to erupt, YN pulled the vibrator and her hand away. Florian growled in displeasure and looked at her with dark eyes of raging frustration. The smirk on her face could not be stopped as her eyes fell onto his face. As menace swirled in the brown of her eyes, Florian knew that she was going to ruin him.

YN continued to edge and ruin his orgasm until his entire body was trembling the strong need to release the tension that was locked into his muscles. With lubed fingers, she pushed two digits into his forbidden hole causing him to let out a pathetic whimper. The couple both explored anal play once in a while, YN more than Florian but in the rare moments that he did, he enjoyed it more and more. The first days, he was uncomfortable and weary about it but YN helped him get comfortable with the idea. His first orgasm triggered by the stimulation of his prostate opened his eyes.

She stretched him open and attached her lips to his tip and sucked on it, bringing him to the edge yet again. Florian’s moans were as loud as ever as he softly thrusted into her mouth. He was continuing to break her rules but he did not care. The desperation of his cries made YN weep. It was so seducing and she wanted to hear all the sounds that he made but she stopped once again.

“YN, please.” Florian pleaded weakly. His voice was weak and worn out but she knew that he wanted more. YN put him out of his misery and took off the cock ring which gave him some relief. He let out a sigh as he relaxed into the bed as she got up and walked to her suitcase again. She made sure that the strap was properly secured before she got back onto the bed and positioned herself in between his parted thighs.

To any man not content with who he is, this would have been incredibly emasculating but not to Florian. He was so aroused, his pre-cum was leaking so much, that he drenched his cock in it.

YN rubbed his thighs up and down with one hand as she coated the dildo with lube. With the tip teasing his puckered hole, she hovered above him and pecked his lips and looked into his dazed hazel eyes.

“Happy Birthday.” She whispered before slowly beginning to push into him, breaking through his tight barrier. Her pussy clenched as she watched Florian’s eyes roll to the back of his head and a long drawn out groan.

When she saw that she had filled him to the brim, she thrusted softly, making sure that he was well adjusted and comfortable. YN loved hearing his cries as he withered beneath her.

“Talk to me baby.” She spoke as she increased the pace. Watching him struggle to speak and against the restraints gave her the greatest pleasure. No one but her would see Florian this vulnerable.

“It feels so good.” He choked out.

“Yeah? You love me stretching you out like this?”

“Yes.” He gasped as she nudged his spot. She wrapped her hand around his length and began stroking him as he throbbed in her palm. “FUCK!” He exclaimed as he began to tremble and his chest heave heavier as he tried to catch his breath. Instinctively his body began to move in accordance with hers as he chased for his orgasm.

“I know what you’re doing. You want to cum don’t you my sweet boy?”

“YN.” Her name left his lips like a prayer as his fingers pulled on the ropes.

“It’s okay. I got you. Cum for for me.” She kept stroking and caressing until Florian let out the loudest groan and erupted all over her hand and onto his stomach. YN sighed with content as she slowly pulled out of him and watched as the orgasm continued to riddle his body.

His eyes were closed as she cleaned him up and untied him. The bondage left his skin slightly irritated from the tugging but he would be okay. YN took off the strap and her ruined underwear before kneeling beside him and trailing kisses up his chest to his lips.

As their lips passionately moved against each other, her skilful fingers were once again wrapped around his semi-hard cock. He groaned into her mouth and jerked in response.

“You okay?” She sweetly asked.

“Mhm.” Was his response as she straddled and her wet core hovered above his hardened girth. YN slowly sank down onto his length and moaned as he filled her up inch by inch.

Florian was overly sensitive and he had to hold onto her hips to stop himself from coming quick. A giggle left YN’s mouth as she sat up and raised herself up and sank back down clenching tightly around him in a calculated pattern.

“Fuck, you’re tryna kill me.” Florian hissed as he moved his hips in tune with her.

YN smiled as she bit into her bottom lip and swirled her hips. “It wouldn’t be a bad way to go.” Her comment caused him to laugh. He raised up from the bed and grabbed her ass into his large hands and began bringing her down onto him at a pace he desired.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and captured his lips as she moaned into his mouth. Her orgasm was quickly rising as she moved faster and faster.

“Baby.” She whispered as she scrunched her eyes shut and her mouth fell open.

“I’m here. I got you.” Florian cradled her body into his chest as their moans got louder and bounced off the walls.

“I’m gonna come.” She breathlessly whispered as she pressed forehead against his.

“Me too.” Florian groaned as he swelled inside of her. The sound of their love making serenaded them to the finish line as they climaxed together.

Boneless, they collapsed back onto the bed. They did not move an inch as they tried collect their breath and tiredness slowly creeped in.

“You really went all out tonight.” Florian mumbled as he traced patterns onto her back.

“Only for you.” YN replied as she placed a kiss onto the side of his neck.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Florian Taglist:

@emjaywrites @cali-strong @minton131 @amirra88 @bernie-k @xxkissatmidnightxx

Permanent Taglist:

@my-rosegold-soul @gwenspacy @beautifullmelodyxx @royallyprincesslilly @queenshikongo3 @blackmissfrizzle @writerbee-ffs @fumbling-fanfics @lotusss-flowerbomb @blowmymbackout @savvy-ivvory @write-fromthe-start @melinda-january @brownsugarcoffy @amelatonin @smuttywriter @iwrite4poc @nina-skyee @toni9 @19jammmy @chaneajoyyy @bluestarego​ @groovyevrywhr @themyscxiras @michael-is-bae @damnitaa @daddys-baby-girl-t @abcdestinyyyy @anonymouslust @midnvght-lies @zejess93 @may114 @brwnsugababe @youlovetkay @complacentviawattpad @melinaasap1 @superestrella9 @this-glitter-pussay @tgigoldie @queenoftheworldisdead @bigsisbria @ladya4444 @bvssmob @vozit

[cocosstories]

Chris Evans One Shot

Chris evans x famous!reader where chris broke up with the reader for Jenny Slate (no hate to her tho) Then after a year him and the reader star in a movie where they need to be lovers. They catch up and he learns that the reader has a new beau. All his feelings for the reader come back and he tries to win her again

It was the first day of your newest movie and you couldn't be more excited.

From the second you had read the script, you knew you wanted to be apart of the cast in one way or another and luckily, you had gotten the lead role.

The only problem was, your leading man was your ex boyfriend Chris Evans.

You and Chris had dated for three years and broke up a year ago when he had met Jenny Slate.

He had broken your heart completely and the thought of seeing him again, was bringing all of the hurt back up to the surface.

"Hey, Y/N, how um have you been?"

Chris asks when you walk onto the set and you run into him.

"Hi Chris, I'm good, thanks. How are you?"

The awkwardness was almost unbearable as the two of you make small talk.

"Y/N, we need you in the hair and makeup test."

You throw a grateful glance to your assistant and say goodbye to Chris before walking off to get to work.

"You alright?"

She asks as soon as Chris was out of earshot.

"Not really. It's been over a year and I still love him. I know I shouldn't after what he did but I do."

It was a hard thing to admit but you knew you could never lie to her. She was not only your assistant but your childhood best friend and she could read you like an open book.

"You can't help who you love Y/N but sometimes you have to weigh the options of being with someone because you love them and not putting yourself in a position to get hurt again."

You knew she was right. Just because old feelings were coming up, didn't mean you needed to acknowledge them.

"I know. He made his choice a year ago and just because he and Jenny didn't work out, that doesn't mean anything to me. I just need to get this movie shoot over with so we can go our separate ways again."

Even as the words come out of your mouth, you knew they were easier said than done. Chris was playing your love interest and there were more than a few 'romantic' scenes between your characters.

"Y/N! Wait up!"

You hear Chris call out behind you and sigh.

"You good? I can tell him to leave."

Your assistant says and you shake your head.

"I can't avoid him everytime he tries to talk to me."

With that, she takes off, giving you and Chris some privacy.

"Can I help you with something?"

You ask him, your tone a bit more icey than you had intended.

"Look, can we have a real conversation? No pleasantries and all that?"

You had to admit, getting everything out in the open would probably help make the shoot easier on you.

"Fine. Let me just get some stuff done and I will come to your trailer when I finish."

You offer, wanting to give yourself some time to think before you actually sat down to have a conversation with him.

He agrees and you make plans to meet in a few hours before you head off to work.

The whole time you are going through wardrobe fittings and hair and makeup tests, you can't get your impending conversation with Chris off your mind. Going over everything from the past year and what your assistant had said over and over again.

Finally, you finished up your work and headed over to Chris' trailer.

"Come in."

He says after you knock on the the door.

Taking a deep breath, you walk in and see Chris sitting on the couch looking over the script.

"Sorry it took so long."

You say shyly and sit down on the opposite side of the small couch.

"No problem. I had some things to get done too."

He says and you give a small smile.

"Look, I get that things are probably going to be weird doing this movie after everything but I thought we could at least try and clear the air."

Chris finally breaks the silence a few minutes later.

"Yeah, that is probably a good idea."

You nod.

"We are both professionals and shouldn't let our personal issues interfere."

He says and you roll your eyes with a scoff.

"Our personal issues? Is that what we are calling it now? You left me for another woman Chris! We were together for three years and you threw it away for a relationship that didn't even last one!"

Anger boiled up inside you as you spoke. Everything you had always wanted to say to him finally coming out.

"What about you? You moved on pretty quick don't you think? I've heard about you and Karl."

You stare at him for a moments before laughing.

"Karl and I were doing a movie together. We are just friends. And you want to talk about moving on quickly? How long was it between you telling me we were over and you going to Jenny? The time it took for you to drive to her place I bet."

You were even more angry now. How dare he question how you lived your life after he blew it up?

"You and Karl aren't together?"

He asks, almost hopeful.

"No, we are not together. Some of us know how to just be friends with our costars."

It was a low blow but you didn't really care at this point.

"Y/N, I am so sorry. I made a huge mistake. I thought, when we broke up, that I didn't love you anymore. I thought I knew what I wanted back then but I was wrong. Do you think there is any chance that we could start over? Try again? I still love you."

It was everything you had ever wanted him to say and yet you couldn't get all of the pain of the last year or your friends words out of your head.

"No Chris! Just because you and Jenny didn't work out doesn't mean you get to just pretend that you didn't break my heart into a million pieces! I am not your consolation prize! You broke up with me for another woman. You have to deal with the consequences."

You stand up and head towards the door.

"I will prove it to you Y/N. I will find a way to show you how much I love you and I will find a way to get you back into my life. We belong together and I know that you know that."

Was the last thing he said before you stormed out of his trailer and back to yours, his promise to get you back, replaying in your head on repeat the whole way.

[nutty1005]

Xiao Zhan, welcome to the cruel entertainment business

Original Article: https://mp.weixin.qq.com/s/6qaJPp9O1exu4M8xtbt71A Original Author: 杨晋亚 Translator’s note: The original author is part of Yuli Studio, this article is published in Yuli Studio’s Weixin Official Account on 15 Sep 2019 as a part of “Behind the Screens” Volume 210.

“I never thought it would happen this way, this was fated.”

A month ago, he was just accepted by audiences due to “The Untamed” and just became one of the most popular actors. Now, he had to take on the responsibility of a movie’s box office as the main lead actor, and show his worth to the movie industry.

Three days before “Jade Dynasty I” aired in the cinemas, Yuli Studio met up with the nervous Xiao Zhan, who told us his fears, “Movies, well, they are very direct, very pragmatic and very cruel, so there’s no choice, since we’re already here, I just have to work hard to do my best.”

With traffic and popularity, comes others’ views and opinions – some expected him to withstand the stress of the box office, but there were also others waiting to laugh at his failure. “Jade Dynasty I” was the first obstacle Xiao Zhan was breaking through, and the path ahead was still long.

Xiao Zhan, welcome to the cruel entertainment business.

Xiao Zhan at “Jade Dynasty I” Press Conference

01

Looking back at the movie journeys of all the traffic actors, no one was like Xiao Zhan, who took on a movie while he was still a nobody, and this movie aired just barely 2 months after he made a name, putting his resource conversion ability to a public test.

On the first day, the box office was 142 million, on the second day it broke 200 million, these were the results “Jade Dynasty I” achieved during the Mid Autumn movie season, which exceeded many people’s expectations. The first day was with fans support, the second day still had interested moviegoers, Xiao Zhan’s first time as the lead actor on silver screen and he miraculously withstood the box office.

“Jade Dynasty I” Super Topic + Maoyan Movie Professional Box Office Chart

This was Xiao Zhan’s third time on the silver screen.

The first time, he was a little monster dressed in flowery clothes in “Monster Hunt 2”, drowned in a sea of group actors, almost unnoticeable as the camera panned past him in a second. The second time, he was a special agent, a side character that barely had 1 minute of screen time, in “The Rookies” during that year’s summer movie season. The third time, he became the main lead actor and took on the entire movie, presenting the process of innocent Zhang Xiaofan becoming a demon.

The production team of “Jade Dynasty I” revealed that, whether or not Xiao Zhan became popular, the movie was planned to air on 8 Aug, however because the post production was incomplete, hence it was shifted to the Mid Autumn movie season.

Director Cheng Xiaodong said that the luckiest decision he made for “Jade Dynasty I” was to cast Xiao Zhan, “I never thought that his acting would be so natural so good, he is not pretentious, and he is very humble, when you tell him something he will listen and improve.”

Stage photographs from “Jade Dynasty I”, Xiao Zhan before and after demonizing 

On set, Cheng Xiaodong even actively added some scenes for Xiao Zhan, for example the scene at the start of the movie where Xiaofan was fantasizing about his senior, Tian Linger, “I found that he could act in all layers, he could do dull and dimwitted, he could do the demonizing transformation later on, so this movie he had many layers, the pace kept changing.”

To Xiao Zhan, Zhang Xiaofan of “Jade Dynasty I” was an unforgettable milestone, it was considered to be his toughest filming. Filming in conditions under 20°C and being blown by a giant fan, hung upside down for a free fall of 30 meters, in order to maintain his sense of the role, he even turned off the heater in his trailer, just so that his body will adapt to the temperature outside.

Before “Jade Dynasty I” aired, Xiao Zhan once said, “If the reception of the movie isn’t very good, I just have to work harder in the future. If it was not bad, then I am grateful that you saw my hard work from that period of time.”

After the movie aired, Xiao Zhan became the center of discussion for “Jade Dynasty I”. The movie’s quality was the result of an entire movie crew’s hard work, but now that all the discussions had landed on Xiao Zhan, to a certain degree, that was the price to pay for fame.

Stage photograph from”Jade Dynasty I”, Xiao Zhan as Zhang Xiaofan 

02

On 23 Aug, there was a video on Weibo that was reposted a few tens of thousands of times.

In the video, Xiao Zhan had just ended a day’s filming, and after he got off the car, the 20 over fans waiting at the hotel entrance got rowdy, they blocked Xiao Zhan’s path and took pictures of him in his face using their phones. Spotting a gap at the side, Xiao Zhan suddenly took off running, and then he safely entered the elevator.

During the filming period of “The Oath of Love” recently at Wuxi, crazy fan actions were happening everyday as Xiao Zhan went to and from his work, sometimes they would surround and block him in the underground car park, sometimes when he got into the car they would forcibly block the car doors from closing, sometimes they would knock on his hotel room door to stuff notes to him.

Xiaofan, a staff who worked around Xiao Zhan said that the sasaeng problems was already very serious, the company wanted to provide him two assistants and security guards, but Xiao Zhan insisted not to.

“Because he didn’t want to give off the impression that he started acting like a big shot after he got famous.”

During the interview, Xiao Zhan spoke about the sasaeng problems again

From the media’s perspective, we have witnessed many artists change after they got famous, some would have a star aura, some would be exuding confidence from in to out, Yuli Studio’s reporter Lanpangzi once visited the set of “The Untamed”, and one year later met Xiao Zhan again at the “Jade Dynasty I” press conference, Lanpangzi discovered that Xiao Zhan was still as warm and accommodating like the boy-next-door.

At the backstage of the press conference, a few tens of guests spoke to Xiao Zhan consecutively, he was smiling at everyone, and slowly fulfilled each and everyone’s request to take a photograph together, and only until 4pm that afternoon he was able to finally have time for a few mouths of a lunchbox. The continuous non-stop interviews started at 4.05pm, all the reporters wanted a photograph together, and he tried to accommodate even under such tight scheduling.

After becoming famous, Xiao Zhan had more and more interviews, and if he was not careful, he would be accused of putting on airs if the arrangements of the interviews were done wrongly. Xiaofan said that Xiao Zhan himself was especially aware of this point, “He is now even more nervous than before, and he had expectations of all of his staff, please don’t think that he is putting on airs just because of our errors.”

Xiao Zhan at the “Jade Dynasty I” Press Conference

After joining the “Jade Dynasty I” press conference in Beijing, Xiao Zhan had to quickly fly back to Wuxi to continue filming.

Before “The Untamed” finished airing, Xiao Zhan had already entered the filming for “The Oath of Love”, and filming while at the height of his fame would mean that he would miss a lot of event opportunities. When his fans were worried about his limited exposures, Xiao Zhan’s thoughts was that: “What’s there to be worried about, I feel that an actor’s life comes from his works.”

In fact, Xiao Zhan had received a lot of invitations from many events, so his biggest worry was how he could maintain his normal acting condition.

“Some events you just had to complete, and then I had some commercial obligations prior, like that day at Suzhou, that was a contract that I signed then,” Xiaofan said, “the last thing that Xiao Zhan wanted to do was to take leave.”

Xiao Zhan’s current schedule at “The Oath of Love” was from 8am to 10pm, if he had to take leave, it meant that when Xiao Zhan returned to the set he would have to work overtime to film his scenes.

Stage photograph from “The Oath of Love”, Xiao Zhan as Gu Wei

The performance teacher accompanying the filming , Yang Xu, witnessed Xiao Zhan’s helplessness and anxiety.

“His load in ‘The Oath of Love’ was especially big, basically we could only discuss his scenes that day while he was doing his make up in the morning, because the filming would end very late at night, I wanted him to go back for more rest. Moreover the fan problems now are too prominent, sometimes he would also talk to me a bit, although I don’t think this incident affected his mood or his performance, but it definitely affected his normal resting time.”

For a while, Yang Xu was very worried about Xiao Zhan’s condition, but what surprised him was that, although the filming would end very late at night, but by the next day, Xiao Zhan would have memorized his lines and made full preparations before coming to the make up room.

“That was what made him powerful, and I found that he would actually really use every bit of spare time to prepare for the role and his lines, for example, while doing his make up, even when going to the toilet, he would be holding the script, and then during the rest period after filming every scene, he would be reading his lines with me while drinking coffee, because lines reading needed partners, I said you just take me as your partner.”

When he was away from the set on leave, Xiao Zhan took late night flights between Beijing and Wuxi almost every time, and in the photographs taken by his fans at the airport, he would also be reading his script.

Stage photograph from “The Oath of Love”, Xiao Zhan as Gu Wei 

Every early morning at the make up room would also be the spare time for Xiao Zhan and Xiaofan to talk about their work and release stress.

“Now he does not seem to enjoy the applause and glory from the opportunities that came with his sudden fame, a lot of it was some anxiety and confusion,” in Xiaofan’s eyes, these two months in Xiao Zhan’s life definitely changed.

“Suddenly, we experienced a lot of things that we don’t quite understand, it could have been a small mistake at work, but we would gain the attention of anti-fans or fans. He is more of an introvert, he doesn’t go out to entertain, stays at home more, leads simple life, and suddenly his life came under the spotlight, wherever he went there will be fans following, he was definitely anxious.”

The seniors in the industry would also give Xiao Zhan some advice, and share with him some of the survival rules in the entertainment world that he had not experienced. “For example we will having having a fun conversation, or someone would be telling some something he does not know about in the industry, the next day he will tell me that the conversation made him quite excited, he learned a lot, I feel like he is a sponge like person, continuously absorbing,” a senior in the industry revealed.

Xiao Zhan 

03

On 10 Aug, a day before the filming starts for “The Oath of Love”, performance teacher Yang Xu finally met Xiao Zhan again.

The script for “The Oath of Love” was given to Yang Xu quite early on, Xiao Zhan also wanted to quickly get into the preparation for this role, but because the promotion schedule for “The Untamed” was too tight, they did not manage to squeeze out some time to discuss about the script face-to-face.

“That day’s morning he just fixed his costume, we only met briefly at night,” Yang Xu recalled, but what put him at ease was that Xiao Zhan already made full analysis and preparation of the script, “At that time, I felt assured, his analytical skills of his roles were getting stronger, he was already able to analyze the script independently.”

Yang Xu, who was once a teacher in Central Drama School, participated in many dramas, such as “Nothing Gold Can Stay”, as their performance instructor. When he joined “The Oath of Love”, it was already his third time working with Xiao Zhan.

Stage photograph from “The Oath of Love”, Xiao Zhan as Gu Wei 

While filming “The Untamed”, Xiao Zhan told the visiting staff from Yuli Studio that he wished to improve his lines. After finishing “Jade Dynasty I”, Xiao Zhan proactively went to Yang Xu for a few classes.

The airing “The Untamed” in this summer made many viewers notice the actor Xiao Zhan.

In the “Bloodbath at Nevernight City” in episode 32, Wei Wuxian stood on top of a roof, facing off the accusations from all of the sects, crying and laughing, unable to explain himself. In this part, the Yiling Patriarch’s rage was at his max, and it was Xiao Zhan’s golden moment of his acting abilities, and many drama fans were surprised to find out that the filming of that scene was done in the same day as another scene – that day’s morning was the filming of youth Wei Wuxian in the library, and at night he immediately went into the condition of the Yiling Patriarch dying in Nevernight City.

We asked him how he could film such extreme conditions within the same day, Xiao Zhan confessed that he himself did not know, “I saw some gifs and clips, if I had to suddenly redo this scene, I don’t think I can outperform that me then, I guess that time it was the accumulation of time and condition, maybe that period of time I had already blended into the role.”

Stage photographs from “The Untamed”, Wei Wuxian at Nevernight City and the Library

Drama fans attributed this to Xiao Zhan’s “self-sacrificing styled acting” performance method, in the drama, Wei Wuxian depended on someone to use the “self-sacrificing curse” 16 years later to resurrect – this “self-sacrifice” meant that Xiao Zhan gave himself entirely to the role of Wei Wuxian.

To Yang Xu, Xiao Zhan’s instinctive acting method, where he became the role, actually came from this “sincerity”, and this was where the advantage of Xiao Zhan as an actor lied.

“Xiao Zhan is a very sincere person, I spoke to him then that sincerity is a very important quality in an actor. This sincerity meant that he could 100% give away himself, he was the same when he was taking classes with me. Because when we were practicing, he also needed to share some of his privacy or live experiences, he would share them very sincerely.”

Stage photograph from “The Untamed”, Xiao Zhan as Wei Wuxian

Yang Xu felt that the introvert and quiet Doctor Gu from “The Oath of Love” was more like Xiao Zhan in his everyday life. But Xiao Zhan felt nervous about this role having similarities with his own character, because he felt that he had not acted in any contemporary dramas. Before filming started, he constantly asked Yang Xu about the differences between contemporary dramas and period dramas, whether he was to portray life as more at will compared to period dramas.

Yang Xu told him, at its core they are acting out human emotions, therefore he must truly experience the life of this character, and then build a realistic communication with his partner.

“Yang Zi is a more quick-witted actress, her performances are very varied, if at this time Xiao Zhan wasn’t about to build enough communication with Yang Zi, or not focused enough, then the two of them might not be able to match up. But what’s good is that Xiao Zhan is very sincere, and he could receive Yang Zi’s performance, and then reply with his layered emotions. I was on set watching a few of their scenes, I personally feel that Xiao Zhan did very well.”

From “Jade Dynasty I” to “The Oath of Love”, Yang Xu saw the growth of Xiao Zhan within this half year. During the process of working with Yang Zi, Xiao Zhan became willing to try more variations, willing to breakthrough his fixed style of acting, and look for changes in every scene and every line.

“He is very concerned about how he crafts every single character, he has his own expectations of his performance and profession, he will never be satisfied with his results and what he has attained in performance. He will forever be seeking, and with this seeking, he will have motivation to learn and grow. And he is very talented, I always tell him, you definitely can become a good actor.”

“The Oath of Love” Character Poster

04

We reverse the time back to early 2017, Xiao Zhan has just joined the filming of “Battle Through the Heaven”, as the minor role Lin Xiuya.

Then, Xiao Zhan had just entered the entertainment industry for barely a year, and acted in a web drama that he jokingly called it his “dark history” later on.

During the performance classes before the filming of “Battle Through the Heaven”, Xiao Zhan stood out from all the newcomers, not only because of his outstanding looks, but also because he was well-mannered and polite, very hardworking during the filming, and left a great impression on the staff.

“Battle Through the Heaven” was filmed throughout the Chinese New Year period of 2017, the new actors did not go home, and one of the seniors in the crew was talking to them, telling them that as a singer in China, their career progression might be more limited, and they should go down the path of acting, but the path of acting is a path of no return, they could only move forward and not backwards, therefore you will need to put in everything for it.

Stage photograph from “Battle Through the Heaven” Season 1, Xiao Zhan as Lin Xiuya

Born in 1991, Xiao Zhan was the representative of “over-aged commoner pursuing an entertainment business dream”, he only started to learn dancing at the age of 24, debuting as a part of a boy group. That spring, the 26 year old took in what the senior said, and started to consider the possibility of changing his career path.

At that time, Xiao Zhan was not confident, he felt that he came from an idol group background, and he was not sure if he could become an actor. But one of the strengths of Xiao Zhan was that he would not consider whether he could or not, instead, he would “choose, I just want to do it well, do it first, we’ll see the results later”.

Just like him starting to learn dancing with no foundations, but he saw effects after a month; during the idol competition his mentor Shu Qi suggested that he train his gaze, and a few weeks later he started to shed off the commoner in his gaze; in the transformation to become an actor, the senior encouraged him to lose weight first, and come to the set of “The Wolf” 3 months later, he really lost 10lbs.

“The Wolf” was Xiao Zhan’s entry work, followed through the entire drama as a part of the lead actors, and gained an acting quality improvement from 0 points to 50 points. A member of the staff revealed that hotels with better conditions were further away from the set, and in order to leave more time to acting, Xiao Zhan took the initiative to pick a hotel that was near the set despite it having worse conditions.

Stage photograph from “The Wolf”, Xiao Zhan as Ji Chong 

During the filming period of “Battle Through the Heaven” and “The Wolf”, transforming from a singer to an actor facing cameras, that sensation once caused Xiao Zhan to lose the sense of himself, unsure how he could let the audiences believe that he was that role. During the filming of “The Untamed”, Xiao Zhan was still not confident enough, compared to the newcomers around him that came from acting schools, Xiao Zhan did not have any advantages.

“My thoughts and intentions had always been very simple, that is I want to do it well,” Xiao Zhan said, during the filming of “The Wolf”, he filmed in the day and took classes at night, writing his acting analysis in the late night, he also broke down once or twice, writing them while crying, but eventually he persisted.

The seed of stubbornness and refusal to admit defeat is deeply rooted in Xiao Zhan’s body, as a child he would go to Shaoniangong every weekend to learn drawing, and nothing would keep him from it, because that was something he wanted to do from his heart; when competing in the idol competition, facing many teammates who were from music academies, he thought to himself that “if you could do it, then I could do it too, and I’ll do it even better”; when filming, he believed that viewers would not be concerned whether he came from an acting background, but the most direct answer would be whether he acted well or not.

“The Untamed” finally brought the actor Xiao Zhan to everyone’s notice.

That summer, he became the entertainment business’s new top traffic power, his supertopic firmly in the top three, all kinds of gossip forums had posts about him, and “Jade Dynasty I” also showcased his appeal.

Stage photograph from “The Untamed”, Xiao Zhan as Wei Wuxian 

Why was he able to receive so much love this summer?

There were many within the entertainment circle that looked well upon Xiao Zhan, two of them could provide answers or a type of assessment:

“Xiao Zhan used his acting abilities to conquer me”; “I see the shadow of every worker on him, he carries the hopes and dreams of every man pursuing a dream.”

There was a microblog titled “Recording Xiao Zhan’s every man moments” that obtained 330 thousand likes, and within it, fans shared many little stories about him.

For example, after living for 28 years, Xiao Zhan’s most prideful moment was to have his logo sell well as a designer; the backgrounds of his group’s concerts and the web drama’s slides were all drawn by him; his mobile phone home screen was the God of Fortune, like every person who hoped for a sudden windfall.

One part was the recognition of his working capabilities; the other part, the Xiao Zhan, who became a designer after graduation and went through a year of working life before pursuing his “entertainment business dream”, was indeed very different from the idols that were cultivated from the idol machine, he came with common sense and life experiences, his past was definitely able to resonate with every man.

Xiao Zhan 

05

A fan once sent this microblog – Xiao Zhan’s temperament is so good, perhaps it’s because he had been honed by his clients. Xiao Zhan himself replied her with a meme: “What do you mean?”

The experience as a contractor, plus always facing people with a smile, everyone’s first impression of Xiao Zhan was that he was a gentle person with a good temperament.

Xiao Zhan always habitually considered others’ feelings first.

Staff Xiaofan revealed that the previous assistant was not capable enough, made a lot of mistakes, but Xiao Zhan never lost his temper at him.

Yang Xu accompanied Xiao Zhan every morning in the make up room for script reading, there was once Xiao Zhan had insomnia the night before and was in a bad shape, he took the initiative to apologize to the teacher, “That day I could feel that he was actually very tired, but he still tried his best to maintain his condition to discuss his role with me, later on he came to me and said, teacher I’m sorry, my condition was bad in the morning, you took still so much effort to explain the role to me, I feel quite bad, you can come slightly later, otherwise you’ll feel bad looking at my current state. I was very touched then, I said you just rest well and don’t worry about me.”

In the idol competition, someone once questioned Xiao Zhan’s character as passive and unenthusiastic. To Xiaofan, this is because “he is always humble and polite to people he doesn’t know well, and he’ll treat everyone with a sense of propriety.”

A reporter once asked Xiao Zhan if he was a Mr. Nice Guy. Xiao Zhan replied, “I feel that those who feel like this are probably acquaintances. People who know me very well will know that I’m actually quite stubborn and quite strong-headed.”

Xiao Zhan 

Xiao Zhan said, he did not like to make the atmosphere uncomfortable, he hoped that everyone could all be harmonious.

But in the “Secret Garden”, Xiao Zhan will unexpectedly shed off this shell of warm smiles and display the tenacious edge in his heart.

Xiao Zhan had a microblog that held the heartfelt words between he and his fans, and some words Xiao Zhan would quietly post in the comments, and those who care for him would always see it.

Last year after “The Untamed” started filming, there were those who believed that he would rise to fame very quickly, but there were also those who mocked him for “being famous on credit”, Xiao Zhan, who had a nickname “Brother Wealthy”, quietly posted a comment on the sentiments then, “I have money, I don’t go on credit.”

In his daily life, Xiao Zhan does not like to cry, he said he has given all of his tears to his characters. Once in a while, everyone can also see that soft Xiao Zhan coming out of his protective shell. Last year during the Hangzhou concert, he looked at the hall full of his fans’ support, singing the song, “Satisfaction”, that his fans fought for him, he tried to keep in his tears.

After bursting to fame, whether Xiao Zhan will continue to display his strong or soft moments, we would not know, but Xiaofan revealed that the staff do not control Xiao Zhan’s microblog postings, the “Secret Garden” continues to be his method of communicating with his fans.

But we can be certain that Xiao Zhan is slowly learning and adjusting to the rules of the entertainment business, becoming more careful, he will sometimes tell his staff, “We need to be more careful than before.”

Xiao Zhan’s Mid Autumn greetings 

06

The night after the premiere of “Jade Dynasty I”, Xiao Zhan secretly went to record a program at CCTV. That night at 8.30pm, word from the scalpers circle came out, “Xiao Zhan’s activity, those who can come to the area near the world trade center message me! Limited seats! Hurry!”

Later on, there were a lot of fans gathering at the north entrance of CCTV, and until late night at 11pm, there were still large groups of fans quietly waiting. Xiao Zhan and his staff would sometimes wonder, when would days like this ever end, but they also understood that this is an anomaly, things would slowly stabilize after a few months, and the future still depended on his works.

After completing the filming of “The Oath of Love”, Xiao Zhan will go through a period of rest and adjustment, and enter filming again at the start of next year.

“What worried him previously what that he didn’t know where his opportunities were, didn’t know which path he should take; now of course he’s firmly decided on being a good actor,” Xiaofan revealed.

Xiao Zhan at the premiere press conference of “Jade Dynasty I” 

His vlogs since his debut, until yesterday when he spoke to everyone online, Xiao Zhan always started with “I am still Xiao Zhan”.

After rising to fame, Xiao Zhan told himself that he needed to work harder in his life, and work hard to remind himself to stay common and still be that very initial Xiao Zhan.

However, no one would be able to foresee the possibilities of Xiao Zhan in his career, “No one restricted that I have to be this type of Xiao Zhan my whole life,” since he is someone who likes to stay on his feet, and very willing to try and change.

Entering this cruel entertainment business, Xiao Zhan still continues to be a honorable working class, lying on his sofa after knocking off; traffic comes and goes, he tells himself that he should not compare with anyone else, he should only compete against himself, and be a long distance runner.

Only passion and sincerity can withstand the long and slow passage of time.

Xiao Zhan looking at that year’s fireworks

[heyitsani]

A Dream Ripping at the Seams

@damianwayneweek fic Reverse Robins

Word Count: 5024

Rating: Teen and up

Warnings: Referenced past child abuse, canonical character death mentioned

Pairing: None

Summary: He had planned the whole thing out.  The moment he had seen the notes in Richard’s file on the computer, he had known he needed to get him out of there and away from Batman as soon as possible.  He refused to lose another brother.  

Saving Richard because he failed to save Todd was his only priority.

Notes: Guess what! IT’S MY BIRTHDAY! And it also happens to be Reverse Robins day for Damian Wayne week!  So to celebrate, I wrote this fic to give to all of you lovely people.  But especially those in the RR Discord who are always willing to encourage me to run with an idea that comes up last minute.

Also, this fic ends abruptly and that’s the point.  I might continue it, I might not.  But it’s supposed to feel sudden and full of questions.

To clear up confusion: Dick was 10 when adopted, Jason died when he was 15 and Dick 11, Dick is 12 (nearly 13) when the story starts, and 13 when it ends.

You can also read it on AO3 here

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Damian waited until he had the opportunity to get Richard away from the manor for the afternoon before he approached the subject with the boy.  He hadn’t been certain he would need to, at first, but the longer Richard was in the house with his father the more he saw the signs he had seen with Jason. And that meant he needed to act.

So he had asked Richard if he wanted Damian to pick him up from school one Friday in February so they could go for ice cream before dinner.  Richard had, unsurprisingly, agreed enthusiastically like Damian had known he would.  With the kid’s sweet tooth, he never turned down things like ice cream.  Especially since it wasn’t something the circus really got much of apparently.  Traveling in trailers didn’t allow for too many luxuries like freezers.

“Richard,” Damian started once they were seated on a bench in a local park, not far from a playground that the child was eyeing.  When the sapphire eyes turned on him, Damian took a deep breath and looked directly at him. “I know you have figured out what Father and the rest of us do in the night.”  Richard nodded, smiling as he licked his cone.  “Has Father approached you about training yet?”

The boy nodded again, and Damian pressed his lips together.  Twelve years old.  Twelve.  None of them had been that young outside of himself, but his situation was different. Being born into the League of Assassins made for a different upbringing.  “Is that bad?”

Shaking his head, Damian made sure his face was neutral before speaking again.  “No, but I have concerns.”  The boy blinked at him, but remained silent as though he was waiting for his brother to tell him what it was he was concerned about.  “You do not know of my childhood, but it was far from…pleasant. I was raised in a place called Nanda Parbat that trains people to be the kind of people Batman fights against.”

“But you were a kid?” Richard sounded confused; ice cream forgotten as he tried to sort through what Damian was saying.  And what he wasn’t saying.  “Why would you train a kid like that?”

“Because that was the way things were done there.”

“Then they were done wrong.”

Damian let out a soft laugh, corner of his mouth raising just slightly at the thought of this twelve-year-old child telling him that he had been raised wrong.  “Be that as it may, you are correct that I was a kid and that should not have been my childhood.”

Richard hummed and went back to his ice cream, looking out at a pair of dogs playing in the grass. Damian observed him as he watched the dogs, wondering what he was thinking.  He wasn’t sure how to ask the boy to do what exactly he was thinking, but he just hoped Richard would go along with it.  That he would agree to leave because this was not the life he should be living.

“Dami?”  Richard looked back to him, and Damian raised his eyebrows.  “You don’t want me to train with Batman.”  Damian shook his head.  “Ever?”

And wasn’t that the real question?

Damian wasn’t sure if he wanted Richard, the purest of them all, to be exposed to how ugly the world was the same way the rest of them had been.  It would ruin him.  It would steal the innocence that Damian found himself desperately wanting to protect. It would tear out everything good in him and leave him a shell.  

“Never,” he admitted quietly.  Richard dropped his gaze again and chewed on his lower lip.  “I want you to understand why.  My childhood aside, I do not want to see what happened to Todd happen to you. I do not want you to lose yourself the way I have seen Drake do.  I do not want you to realize the ugly truths of the world long before your time the way Cain or Brown have.  I want to protect you from all of that.”

With brows drawn down, Richard looked at him again.  He was looking at Damian with that look, the one he had seen Cain look at him with too many times to count.  The look that penetrated all the walls and shields he had put around his mind and heart.

“You want me to leave.”

“I want to take you away from here and hide us both until you are able to stand your own against Father on the subject,” he quickly corrected, not wanting Richard to think he wasn’t welcome in the Wayne family.  “I want to protect you from a fate I wish we all could have been protected from.”

Richard took a lick of his ice cream and Damian waited, worried the boy would tell him no and then tell his father everything Damian had planned.  “Okay.”

“Okay?”

Richard nodded.  “Okay.”

And Damian released his held breath, relief washing over him.  He could save one of them, the best of them.  He could do one right thing in his life, a life filled with so many wrong things.

“We leave in a week.” Richard’s eyes turned determined, and he gave a firm nod before looking over toward the playground again.

“Can I play after my ice cream is finished?”  Damian laughed and nodded, too relieved to deny him anything.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Who is she?”  Richard asked, tugging on the black chuba Damian had selected for himself the moment they had touched down in Tibet.  The weather was fairly cool, and he hadn’t thought to purchase the proper wears before he had put his plan into motion. But thankfully he had anticipated needing to switch enough money into Yuan to get them by for the first couple of months.  It had made purchasing weather friendly clothing for himself and Richard much easier.

Looking down at Richard, Damian frowned and followed his eyeline to the familiar statue that stood at the top of the mountain, guarding over Nanda Parbat.  “She is Ruma Kushna,” he told Richard, who couldn’t seem to tear his eyes away from the beautiful stone statue.  He couldn’t blame the kid, he had been fascinated with the goddess when he had been younger.  She had been formidable and even his grandfather had spoken highly of the goddess. “She watches over all of those in Nanda Parbat.”

Richard frowned and looked away from the statue, blue eyes skittering over the various people wandering around the market they were making their way through in an attempt to find lodging.  “She is not kind then,” the boy said, looking up at Damian with a fierce look.

“What makes you say that?”

Richard shrugged and looked away, curiosity stealing the boy’s attention once more.  But Damian couldn’t forget that look for stubborn protectiveness that had covered Richard’s face in the moment.  It had been breathtaking if he were honest.  He couldn’t remember the last time someone had looked at him like that when they weren’t preparing to fight him for one reason or another.

Pausing at a stall with various spices that smelled familiar and distant at the same time, Damian gave the older woman a friendly smile.  “Tashi delek,” he greeted her, giving a small bow of his head.  “My son and I are looking for lodging, do you know of anyone with vacancies in their home that would spare space for us?  We are willing to pay.”

The woman seemed to consider him closely, glancing from him to Richard and then back again.  He knew his excuse of Richard being his son was flimsy when someone considered their age difference, but it was the story he needed to stick to for the time being.  He couldn’t risk someone looking too deeply into their relation if they thought they were merely brothers.  And Damian would be drawn and quartered before someone took Richard from him and returned him to Bruce.

“I have a spare sleeping quarter if you could spare your strength,” the woman finally replied, kindness heavy in her old eyes.

“Tuchi che!”  Richard exclaimed, smiling brightly at the woman who almost looked surprised at his enthusiasm.  Damian struggled to hold back a smile of his own as he gave the woman a firm nod, silently agreeing to her terms.

“I am Damian and this is Richard.  We are grateful for your hospitality.”  The woman chuckled and waved them off, telling them to scout the market for anything they might need since their packs were small and probably did not hold much out of the bare necessities.  “What should we call you?”

The woman’s smile warmed, and she leaned back.  “I am Amala,” she responded.  “Now go find you both some clothing that is not of the city but of the mountain.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You are al Ghul,” Amala stated as she handed over the cup of tea.  Damian froze, eyes wide as he looked at the woman who still looked at him with that same kindness she had since that first meeting almost four months ago.  But he couldn’t figure out how she could possibly look at him that way if she knew who his family was.  “The League is well known in our village, as small as we may be.  They look after their own on the mountain.  But there were whispers of the Heir refusing to return and the Demon Head demanding justice.”

Looking down at his teacup, cradled in both hands to warm his palms from the cool night air coming in from under the door, he sighed before glancing back toward the corner where Richard was sleeping.  Confirming Amala’s words would put them both in danger of being discovered.  He had picked this village because it meant they were right under his grandfather and mother’s noses.  They would never look for him here.

But if he lied, he risked having to run with Richard again.  And the child was finally settling nicely in the village.  He had made friends with some of the other children and he was catching up on his studies.  The last thing Damian wanted to do was uproot him yet again.  His life had been disrupted enough since the death of his parents.

“I am he,” Damian admitted, looking back to Amala.  The woman smiled knowingly before pressing a finger to her lips in a ‘shhhh’ motion and Damian let out a sigh of relief.  “How did you figure it out?”

The woman shrugged.  “You have your mother’s eyes,” she said, as if that was enough to give it all away.  “And your mother used to bring you down here as a babe, just learning to walk the mountain.  I recognized you the moment you approached my stall at market.”

“Has anyone else?”

“Not that I have heard.”

But that didn’t mean they hadn’t.  If someone told his mother or even one of the footmen, Damian would need to pick Richard up and run.  He wouldn’t have a choice.  He probably should do it now before anyone had the chance to come after them.

“Thank you, for trusting us then.”

Amala waved a hand.  “I could see in your eyes that you were running from something.  That you were protecting your son from something.”  Damian held back the cringe at the word son, knowing she had to have figured out that Richard wasn’t his.  “You are safe in my home.  I will not bring harm upon you.  No matter if it is from up the mountain or from far away.”

Damian swallowed, bowing his head against the onslaught of emotion that hit him from her words.  “Thank you,” he whispered, unable to look at her just yet.  “Protecting him is all I am after.”  He looked over at Richard again and blinked away the tears.  “It is my only goal.”

“And that is what makes you a good father,” she said softly, “blood or not.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Baba!”  Richard called out; voice distorted as it came into the house from outside where he had been helping plant some new seedlings.  “Dami!”  That made Damian pause.  It had been a while since Richard had called him by his name, out of habit or fear Damian couldn’t be sure which.  But it made a small sense of panic arise in his chest and had him dropping the piece he had been sketching and immediately run out the front door.

He froze when he saw a man kneeling in front of Richard, black cloak and hood pulled over his head, hiding his face from Damian but not from Richard.  But when the man looked up, Damian felt his stomach drop.

“No,” he whispered, hurrying forward and pushing Richard behind him as he glared at Timothy Drake, his father’s second eldest but first adopted child.  “You are not welcome here, Drake,” he said lowly, English rusty from lack of use since coming to Tibet.

Drake held up his hands and took a step back, but Damian held tighter onto Richard who tried to move out from behind his legs.  “I am not here to cause trouble, Damian,” Drake offered.  And Damian knew him well enough to know the man was being honest.  But it didn’t mean he could let his guard down. “He doesn’t know I’m here.  He doesn’t know I found you.”

“Trackers.”

“Rerouted.”

Taking a deep breath, Damian glanced around before giving Drake a nod and herding Richard into the house, knowing Drake would following them.  “Richard, go work on your schooling.”  Richard looked up at him, frowning at the order, before glancing over at Drake.  “Now, Richard.”  And though Damian knew the child didn’t want to, Richard walked away with a pout to the table where his schoolwork sat waiting.  “How did you find us?”  

“It wasn’t easy, you covered your tracks better than any of us expected,” Drake said, eyes watching Richard as he took his seat and began writing in the notebook.  Damian could tell he was curious, but Damian needed answers before Drake got his own.  “I looked at footage we had searched through a million times and got lucky.”

“And Father doesn’t know? I’m meant to believe you simply didn’t tell him?  You?”

“He thinks I’m off world with the Titans.”

“That doesn’t answer why you didn’t tell him.”

Drake seemed to consider his answer for a moment before shrugging both his shoulders.  “Dick didn’t seem to be in distress in the footage I found. He looked like he wanted to be with you.”

“I explained it to him before we left.  He agreed to come with me on his own.”

“Why did you take him?”

A familiar anger built in his core and Damian had to push it down with a few deep breaths before he could answer Drake without yelling.  “Because I would not let him sacrifice Richard the same way he sacrificed all of us. Because since losing Todd, he has lost sight of the true mission and we have become nothing but soldiers to him. I would die before I let that man turn Richard another glass case bearing a bloodied suit of armor,” he growled, fists clenched tightly.  

Drake watched him with those eyes, the ones Damian had always hated because it always felt like he was a risk and Drake was calculating how dangerous he was in any given moment.  As if Drake was just like his father, with a file of ways to put an end to Damian because part of him was too dangerous to be trusted.

“Your secret is safe with me,” Drake finally said, looking back to Richard with a nod.  “I didn’t believe you could have taken him for anything other than his own good.”  The cool blue eyes looked back to Damian and had lost some of the calculating look.  “B won’t stop though, Damian.  He’s desperate to find you both even though it’s been over six months.  I don’t know how long until he realizes that you hid both of you in plain sight of the League.  Does Ra’s or Talia know you’re here?”

“Not that they have revealed to me,” Damian admitted.  “Our patron, she knows of my heritage and has sworn an oath of secrecy.  But she is League loyal due to their protection.”

Damian watched Drake fully take in the appearance of the home they were in, the simple nature of it all and Damian couldn’t help but wonder what the man thought of him now.  What did he think of the haughty Wayne heir who had loved to shove that fact in every ones faces, telling them that he was the heir to one of the richest men in the world.  That he was heir to Batman, the Dark Knight.  The Damian standing in front of Drake was far from that person as Damian could probably get.

“This has not only saved him,” Drake finally said, looking directly at Damian.  There was no lie that Damian could see and though he wanted to deny what his brother said, his eyes glanced over to Richard and knew it was the truth. He was not who he had been before they had left Gotham.  He had been losing himself in his own grief and it was only the deep seeded fear of losing yet another family member that forced him to pull out of it and take action.

But he couldn’t admit that to Drake, could he?  “I wouldn’t lose him the way we lost Todd.  I did what I had to do.  He never would have listened.”

“No, he wouldn’t have.”

“And has anything changed?” Drake frowned; eyebrows furrowed. And that was enough of an answer for Damian.  “He’s just become obsessed with finding us instead.”

Drake nodded.  “It’s been bad enough that Superman watches Gotham from afar to keep B from doing something he might regret.”  And Damian knew, yet again, that he had made the right choice in getting Richard away from that.  “Can I give you a burner that only I know about?”  Damian’s eyes snapped back to Drake, having drifted back to Richard yet again.  “I want to be able to give you a heads up if he comes your way.  It might not be much of one, but maybe enough for you to get a head start.”

It wasn’t a bad idea, having that option, but Damian also knew it might give his father access to the pair of them without Drake even knowing.  But Drake did know technology more than anyone else in the family. Perhaps it was a risk he could take.

“All right,” Damian relented, giving a nod.  Drake’s features looked relieved, to the point where Damian wondered if he had made the wrong decision.  But he could work on the device later and see if it had been bugged or tampered with in any way.

Drake dug into his small pack and pulled out a small phone, probably a prototype that Wayne Tech had decided wasn’t worth the trouble.  He quickly showed Damian how to turn it on and use the basic features before it was turned off yet again and Damian was tucking it into the pocket of his pants.

“I need to go, I can’t reroute much longer.  But if you need anything, please call me.  I have your back.”  Damian gave a nod before watching Drake walk over to Richard and kneel down to talk quietly with the teen.  He didn’t bother listening in, knowing Richard would tell him what was said later, but he did watch.  He watched Richard listen and nod, responding with his own words before reaching out and hugging the man around the neck.  

When Drake stood and turned to leave, Damian was fairly certain he saw a sheen of tears in his eyes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Damian knew something was different the instant he walked into the small house, even if he couldn’t immediately tell what.  It caused him to stop short in the doorway, Richard smacking into him because he had been too absorbed in the book of mathematics one of the men of the village had shared with him.

“Baba, what…?”  The child complained but Damian’s eyes focused on the figure in the corner of the room instead, not answering.

“Mother.”

The woman moved forward, like a serpent seeking prey, into the light with a smirk on her face.  “Son,” she greeted, eyes looking over his ragged appearance from his day of labor with a hint of distain before stopping on Richard. “You really do have too much of your father in you.”

Rolling his eyes, Damian shuffled Richard into the house and nudged him toward their sleeping corner. And though he didn’t think his mother meant them harm, he still kept his body between the two of them and coiled his muscles to prepare for a fight.

“What are you doing here? How did you even know?”

“Oh please, Damian,” Talia sighed and came closer before lounging in one of the chairs near the fireplace.  “Do you honestly think we weren’t aware the moment you landed in Tibet?  That we weren’t tracking you from the very start? You have forgotten your roots.”

Damian narrowed his eyes. “Then why did you wait so long to approach me?”

“Because we did not need you.”  That made Damian tense further.  The League needing him would lead to nothing good, he knew that deep in his core.  “I have something in Nanda Parbat that requires your attention before it can be dealt with.  And no,” she held up a hand to stop his question, “it is not your father. But it does have a link to him.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Damian couldn’t believe what he was seeing.  He couldn’t trust his own eyes in that moment.  It wasn’t possible.  Was it? No, he had seen the body.  He had been there as the coffin had been lowered into the plot and covered with dirt.  He had laid his hand on the tombstone and apologized for not being able to get to him in time.

But that was definitely Jason Todd in front of him.

“How is this possible?”  Damian asked, glad he had put Richard in his old rooms while he handled this.  Richard had known Todd for only a year before he had died. This was not something Damian wanted to expose the teen to before he knew what the point of all of this was.

“We are not certain. We can’t even say how long he has been like this.  He has been dead for nearly 18 months and we have had him here for the past six.” Damian frowned, walking closer to Todd, trying to catch the teen’s eye.  “He is alive and everything is in working order, but it is as though death stole his soul.”

“Of course it did!  He died!”  Damian snapped, looking back at his mother who stood a ways back watching but looked bored.  “We buried him.  We…” Breathing heavily through his nose, Damian looked back to Todd and shook his head.  They had mourned him.  And now he was there, living and breathing but lifeless.  Everything that had made him Jason Todd seemed to have been stripped away.  “What do you intend to do with him?”

His mother’s heels clicked on the marble floor as she moved closer and stopped once she reached the pair. He watched a slender hand reach out and pet the side of Jason’s face.  Annoyed, Damian’s hand shot out and grabbed his mother’s wrist to stop the obscene gesture.  “What do you intend to do with him,” he growled, gripping her wrist tightly and turning to fully face her.  He narrowed his eyes and stared her down, not willing to let her brush him off.  She had brought him here for a reason.

“We will put him in the Pit, of course,” she said, unaffected by the grip he had on her or the look on his face.  “We just wanted to see if a familiar face might wake him up first.”

“Mother,” Damian gasped, releasing her and stepping back.  “We do not put innocents in the Pit.  It is not done.”

Talia raised a brow and Damian glowered.  “There is no ‘we’, Damian.  You made your choice.”

“You cannot do that to him. He had anger before his death.  He was murdered brutally.  These are all things the League has always avoided in resurrections.”  Damian looked over at Jason’s empty eyes and frowned, shaking his head.  “You cannot sentence him to that Madness.  He is a child.”

“He is no more a child than any of you were.  My Beloved has only had one true child in his home and you stole him away in fear of him turning your precious Richard into the same monster each of you fight off daily.” Talia tilted her head, considering him. “You most of all, my son.”

“You created the monster long before he got his hands on it.”

A slender shoulder rose and fell gracefully.  “Perhaps, but you have Demon blood in your veins and you have always been destined for so much more than this charade of a life you have taken up.”

Damian clenched his jaw and looked away from his mother, unable to deny her words.  He knew this farce he and Richard had been living would not sustain them forever, but he knew it was what the teen needed at the moment. If he returned Richard to Gotham, his father would rip the child away from him and Damian would lose him to the fight he desperately wanted to protect Richard from.  The Bat would get into his head and Damian would lose.

No, returning to Gotham would never be an option until Richard was old enough to stand on his own.

“You could remain here. Take up your title again and we could train and teach the boy to be the very best.”  Damian immediately shook his head.  That wasn’t any better than the fate that awaited them in Gotham.  “It is only a matter of time before he finds you. He will exhaust all resources and then call upon me.  He will come to Nanda Parbat and hear the tinkling laughter that reminds him so much of the boy his own son had stolen away from him.  He will follow the sound to a yard where a teen with black hair and sapphire eyes kneels in the dirt, pulling weeds from around the plants that have just begun to sprout.

“He will watch in wonder at the change a year, perhaps two years, has made in the boy.  And then he will see the man who is responsible for the heartache and fear he experienced over that time, standing in the window watching the teen just as he had been.  And he will take him back.  He will threaten them both with everything in his itinerary until there is no choice but to return.”

“And then he will ruin him,” Damian whispered, closing his eyes because he knew his mother was right. It was the fear that kept him up each and every night.  His father would never stop searching and he would eventually get desperate enough to turn to Ra’s for help.  And he would come himself to plead his case because otherwise Ra’s would laugh in his face and behead whoever was foolish enough to come in his stead.

Opening his eyes, he stared into the familiar one watching him closely.  “You win.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Damian hated that his mother insisted on Richard being in the room with them when Todd was placed in the Pit, but he wasn’t in any position to argue.  He just hoped that nothing happened that would require him to use the sword strapped to his back in order to keep Richard safe.  The last thing he wanted was for the teen to see that side of him, the side that would require him to take up arms against another of his brothers.

But Richard stood just behind him, stubborn look on his face as he watched Todd over near the Pit. The green glow of the waters within gave the room an ethrial look but made Jason look sickly.  With that blank look on his face, Damian felt his heart ache for the boy he remembered.  He had tried harder with Todd than he had with Drake, but it didn’t mean he was the best of brothers.  He hoped the teen knew he had tried.

But emotions had never been his forte.

Thankfully, he was doing even better with Richard than he had with any of the others.  The teen had taught him much more than he ever thought possibly while he had taught the boy what little he had to offer outside of self-defense. Which, he had taught him as well. Just not to the same effect that training to be a Cape would have done.

“Are you ready to witness true magic, Richard?”  Damian frowned over at his mother when she entered the room and moved over to stand with the two of them.  He looked back and down toward the teen, who he found watching his mother with narrowed, untrusting eyes.  Good boy.

Damian had made sure that he always questioned his surroundings and stayed wary of those he didn’t know. Apparently, Talia al Ghul fell in that category.

The woman simply quirked an eyebrow at him before she walked over to where the footmen were getting ready to move Todd to the platform.  Reaching out, Damian tugged Richard closer to him in hopes to shield him from the coming disaster.  His mother might be certain this was a good idea, surely for her own gain, but he knew this was not something that should be done.  But as good of a fighter Damian was, he could not take on the entire League. And he would need to do just that if he wanted to get Todd out of there before he was manipulated and twisted into a shadow of the teen he had been.

“Let us begin,” Ra’s said as he took his place on the opposite side of the Pit.

[acabecca]

“Say that you wanna be with me too.” JAS AND BUCKY

I have no idea what this is I’m sorry. I wanted to make it longer and set it during THAT episode of fatws but it didn’t make sense to me to do it, even as an au because apparently I am very fussy when it comes to Jas and Bucky 🙄

(also the picture is not what happens in the prompt i just like is lol)

(featuring a surprise cameo by mr steven rogers because my mind cant process that he might possibly be and is most probably the D word) this prompt is unnecessarily long i apologise

*

Pushing her sunglasses up on top of her head, Jas kept hold of the brightly wrapped present and nudged the car door closed with her hip. She heard more than saw the kids playing somewhere over beside the cabin, and she made her way over to place the box in her hands on the table that was already crammed full of gifts.

Pepper had clearly gone all out and so had everyone else, trying to overcompensate for Tony not being around. It was Morgan’s first birthday without him, and Pepper had opted to invite everyone around instead of the two of them spending it alone, trying to distract her daughter with gifts and friends and games so she didn’t dwell too much on the fact that her father would never be at another one of her birthday parties.

“It’s about time you got here.”

“Yeah, sorry, I’m terrible at gift wrapping so I stopped by my aunt’s place so she could make it look pretty for me,” Jas patted the top of the gift and sent Sam a grateful smile as she took the bottle of water he handed to her.

“Uh-huh,” he hummed, peering at the gift tag. “What’d we get her?”

Jas blinked. “We?”

“Me, you, and Bucky.”

“I’m sorry, was this supposed to be from all of us?” Jas’ brow furrowed in confusion. “Because I’m pretty sure I’m the one who hauled my ass all over New York looking for the perfect present for baby Stark, and I don’t recall you or Bucky giving me any money for it.”

Sam groaned loudly. “Come on, Jas. I’ve been busy. I’ve been on a mission.”

“Yes, I know,” Jas nodded her head. “I was with you. I still made time to go shopping for a six year old’s birthday party. You’re terrible! Bucky didn’t get her anything, either?”

“It’s Bucky,” Sam shrugged his shoulders as though that was enough of an explanation and Jas rolled her eyes, lifting her hand to wave at Pepper, who wiggled her fingers in return before rushing back inside the cabin.

“Jasmine!”

Jas turned at the sound of her voice, grinning when she saw Morgan running towards her and crouching down just in time to catch the little girl as she flung herself forwards. “Hey birthday girl! Are you having a good day? Your mom’s done a lot, huh?”

“There are so many cupcakes,” Morgan’s eyes went wide. “Too many to even count! I tried. Did you bring me a present?” she asked curiously.

“I did!” Jas laughed, turning around just in time to see Sam inconspicuously adding his own name to the bottom of the gift tag. “It’s from Sam, too, and Bucky. But you’re not allowed to open it until your mom says so, okay? I think we’re doing gifts later.”

“I know,” Morgan sighed. “She let me open one, though! Well…” she paused thoughtfully. “Clint snuck it to me and told me to open it before anyone saw. He got me a bow and arrow set and Lila is going to teach me how to use it, and Bruce got me a chemistry set so I can learn how to help him in his lab and stuff like my daddy did, and- did you know Bucky can pick me and Nate up with only one arm?”

“He can, huh?” Jas raised her eyebrows. “That’s awesome! Sounds like you’re having a great day, kiddo.”

“Yeah,” she paused again, biting down on her lip. “I’m going to go back to play with Nate, now. Bye Jasmine, bye Sam! Thank you for coming!” she called, sending a wave over her shoulder as she took off running towards the other kids.

“Good thing she got her manners from her mom,” Sam snorted.

“Hmm,” Jas hummed, a soft smile on her face. “Don’t think I didn’t see you adding your name on the gift tag. You add Bucky’s, too? You better had or he’ll feel like shit for not getting her anything. Where is he, by the way?”

“Sitting down by the kids with Steve.”

Jas almost choked on the sip of water she’d just taken and Sam slapped her hard on the back. “Steve?” she squealed, coughing and wiping at her mouth. “Steve, Steve? Steve Rogers, Steve?”

“You know another Steve who’d be here?” Sam asked with raised eyebrows.

“Steve is here and you give me a poxy bottle of water? Dammit, Sam! I need something stronger,” she groaned softly, screwing the lid back on to her water and, spotting the cooler sitting on the grass by the corner of the cabin, she made her way over to it and reached for a beer at the exact same time someone else did. Looking up as her hand connected with someone else’s, she mer a pair of familiar blue eyes and couldn’t stop herself from grinning. “Hey, Buck! I hear you’ve been keeping Morgan and Nate entertained with your impressive strength,” she raised an eyebrow, unscrewing the cap off her beer and taking a long sip. “Have you been here long?” she asked, but Bucky didn’t reply.

Instead, he grabbed two bottles out of the cooler and straightened up, looking between Jas and Sam before sending her a tight smile and turning to walk back in the direction he’d come from, disappearing around the side of the cabin. Jas turned to Sam in bewilderment.

“What was that about?” she asked, but Sam avoided her gaze as he lifted his bottle to his lips. “Sam? He’s been ignoring me for days. What’s wrong with him, did I do something? I know you know something.”

Sighing, Sam ran a hand over his face. “Look, I don’t wanna get involved in whatever it is the two of you have got going on-”

“What?” Jas interrupted. “There’s nothing going on. What are you talking about?”

“Awfully quick on the defence there, James,” Sam smirked. “...I told him I wouldn’t say anything, and I’m not going to, but do you really not know what you did?” he asked, rolling his eyes when Jas shook her head. “Think back a bit. Day before we flew home, you were talking to your auntie. About Steve. About how they could never really replace Captain America, because he was irreplaceable.”

“Yeah…?” Jas trailer off in confusion. “But, I’m right. They can’t? They tried, and look how well it worked out. They’ll never find anyone like Steve.”

“They’ll never find anyone like Steve, or you’ll never find anyone like Steve?” Sam questioned, smirking when Jas’ face paled slightly.

“That- that’s what he- is that what Bucky thinks I meant?”

“Uh-huh.”

“That is not what I meant.”

“I know.”

“And- did you tell Bucky that isn’t what I meant?”

“I tried,” Sam shrugged. “S’not me he needs to hear it from. I’m not the one he’s got a thing for.”

“Shut up, he does not have a thing for me,” Jas grumbled, shoving at Sam’s face and feeling her cheeks heat up as he cackled beside her. “Sam!”

“What? You’re both too good at avoiding what’s been happening between you for months now and I, for one, am sick of it,” Sam pointed at himself. “I’m the one who has to sit in planes and in cramped apartments and shit with the pair of you and honestly? I’m done. I’m tired of it. We’re at a kids birthday party and the sexual tension between the pair of you is so unhealthy-”

“Sam!” Jas repeated, shoving at him again. “We don’t- that is not- there is none of that tension between us.”

Sam scoffed. “Don’t act like you don’t want Barnes to bend you over and-”

“SAM!” Jas shrieked, darting forwards and covering his mouth with her hand, her whole face turning red when she saw the looks Clint, Pepper, and Laura were throwing her. “Jesus, I- okay. Alright. So what if I do? He’s never made a move, has he? So this whole thing is probably just all in your head.”

“If you’re waiting for him to make the first move then you’re gonna be waiting a hell of a long time, baby. He thinks you’re still hung up on Cap and he’s also a 106 year old emotionally constipated ex-assassin. You’re gonna have to be the one who moves in first, or it’s never gonna happen,” Sam told her gently, reaching forwards and taking her drink out of her hand. “You can start by telling him he got it wrong when you said Steve was irreplaceable. Maybe drop in a little ‘Sam was right and you should listen to him more’, maybe make my life a little easier in future.”

Jas paused, chewing on her bottom lip as nerves filled her stomach. This was not how she had envisioned today going. She’d been expecting a lot of laughs, maybe some tears because she hadn’t been out here since Tony’s funeral, good food and lots of drinks, and now she was seriously contemplating dragging Bucky - her best friend - away from everyone so she could apologise for a misunderstanding that had left him brooding for the last five days. She moaned, pulling her sunglasses off her head and running a hand through her hair.

“I can’t just go talk to him,” she whispered. “He’s… He‘s with Steve. I haven’t seen Steve since… everything. It’s rude if I just go and drag Bucky away from an old man-”

“Either you drag him away or I do. I’ll come with you, I’ll keep Steve occupied and you go talk to Bucky. I am literally being your wingman.”

“Living up to your name.”

“Shut the hell up and get your annoying ass over to your equally annoying boyfriend,” Sam snorted, turning her round and pushing her towards where he knew Bucky and Steve were sitting together. Jas let out a squeak and reached behind her to swat his hands away, laughed as she turned the corner and saw Bucky sat beside Steve on a bench in the shade, watching Morgan run around with some of her friends.

Steve spotted her first and he sent a small, unsure wave. Jas smiled softly in reply and tucked her hair behind her ears, her sunglasses perched atop her head again as she came to a stop in front of them.

“Uhm, hi. Bucky, can I talk to you for a second?”

He looked up, squinting against the sunlight. “Sure.”

“Uh,” Jas glanced at Steve. “In private, maybe?”

Bucky shook his head. “I’m just in the middle of talking to Steve.”

“Oh, I don’t mind, Buck,” Steve looked between the two of them, a somewhat knowing look on his face. “You should go with Jas.”

“But-”

“I’ll sit with Gramps, don’t worry about it man,” Sam clapped Steve on the shoulder, not-so-subtly nudging Bucky out of his seat and forcing him to stand up. Huffing, Bucky placed his beer down on the grass and gestured towards the cabin. Jas nodded her head and followed after him, turning to shoot a glare in Sam’s direction when he called a quick “good luck!” after them.

Following Bucky inside, Jas glanced around the cabin, her eyes lingering on the picture above the fireplace, a selfie that Tony has clearly taken of himself, Pepper, and Morgan. Clearing her throat, Jas blinked rapidly as she tried to keep any tears from falling and ignored the way Bucky was watching her.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, you know, it’s just…” she waved a hand towards the picture and Bucky followed her gaze, frowning as he nodded his head.

“We don’t have to stay in here,” he told her. “We can- come on,” he pointed towards the kitchen and Jas trailed after him, coming to a stop by the breakfast bar as Bucky against the worktop opposite her, his arms crossed over his chest. “So uh, you wanna talk?”

“Yeah, I- listen, I didn’t- what I said, about Steve being irreplaceable?” Jas began meekly, and Bucky screwed his eyes shut as he muttered something that sounded suspiciously like ‘I’m gonna kill Wilson’ under his breath. “I think you took it the wrong way.”

“Jasmine, it’s- I- it doesn’t matter-”

“No it does!” she insisted quickly. “It does matter, Buck, because I didn’t mean it the way you think I mean it, and I don’t want you to think that I don’t- I didn’t mean that you’re not…” she paused, trailing off nervously. “You know you’re important to me, right? And I guess I don’t want you to think that there isn’t room in you for life because of my past with Steve, because that’s not what I meant.”

Bucky’s whole face was screwed up, his expression something Jas couldn’t decipher and she almost groaned when she realised he was obviously annoyed by something she had just said.

“You think I want to be a replacement?” Bucky asked carefully. “You think I want to take Steve’s place in your life?”

“No! I mean, I… I don’t know?” Jas replied meekly. “Maybe? I thought you were-”

“I want my own place in your life, Jasmine,” he cut in. “I don’t have any intention of being a replacement for anyone, especially not Steve. I know I could never replace him,” he gestured towards the kitchen window, where they could see Steve and Sam both sat outside of. The two men quickly looked away and Bucky rolled his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose at his friends making it painfully obvious they were listening in. “I see Steve never learned how to be subtle in his old age.”

“Nope,” Jas bit back a smirk and Bucky sighed, grabbing hold of her arm and leading her away from the window. “Look, I thought maybe we - you and I - I thought that maybe there was something happening? That there was something here between us. Am I wrong?” he asked cautiously. “Tell me if I’m wrong and I’ll stop. I can just be your friend, I don’t need or expect anything else from you, not even your friendship if that’s something you don’t want-”

“…Bucky-”

“I want to be with you, Jasmine,” he admitted, his voice low and his cheeks a little bit pink. “I do. I have for a really long time. And if you say that you wanna be with me too, then great! I can take you out on dates, we can get to know each other beyond friendship. But if you don’t? That’s okay, too. Whatever you decide. I just need to know where I stand,” Bucky kept his gaze on her, his heart thumping so loudly in his chest he was sure Jas would be able to hear it. When she didn’t say anything, his stomach sank and he frowned. “Okay, that’s fine, we can forget that I said anything and-”

“No, wait!” Jas gasped, reaching out and grabbing his arm as he began to turn away from her. She tugged him back towards her, standing on her toes and quickly pressing her lips to his. It was a quick kiss, over in a few seconds, and Bucky had barely had time to respond to it before Jas was dropped back down on her toes and clearing her throat awkwardly, her face red. “Sorry, I… I was processing. I’d really like to go on dates with you, Bucky.”

He grinned. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay,” he nodded. “Good. That’s… That‘s good. I’d like that.”

“Bucky.”

“Yeah?”

“You gonna kiss me or am I gonna be the one doing all the heavy lifting in this relationship?” Jas raised an eyebrow and Bucky chuckled, slipping an arm around her and pulling her towards him. He leaned in closer to her, before freezing and looking at her with a furrowed brow. “What is it, Barnes? Did you change your mind already?”

“You don’t still have feelings for Steve, do you?”

“No!” Jas pulled a face. “Bucky. He’s old. Like really old.”

“So am I!”

“Yeah but he looks old.”

“Wow, never had you down for the shallow type, Jasmine.”

She groaned. “Just shut up and kiss me.”

“Okay,” Bucky hummed, finally closing the gap between them and doing as she asked.

Outside, Sam beamed as he peered through the window before he held his hand out to Steve, who sighed and begrudgingly shoved $20 into his waiting palm.

“Don’t think I didn’t see you talking to her, Sam,” Steve grumbled. “You hustled an old man.”

“Yeah,” Sam smiled widely, stuffing the money into the pocket of his jeans. “I did.”

taglist: @sgtbuckyybarnes @mer-writes @foxesandmagic @ohmansebastianstan @chlobenet @jewelswrites-ish @lukespatterson @ocappreciationtag @marveloc-hq (let me know if you want to be added/removed)

[munsonsmixtapes]

Okay but a vanless eddie walks across hawkins to cuddle his best girl while she recovers from a leg injury.

Basically, she can't come to him, but he'll be damned if he's kept from her.

Toootally not because my busted leg is taking too long to heal and i am frustrated.

Hey! Thanks so much for the request! So sorry to hear about your leg and I wish you a speedy recovery!

Word count: 1k

Eddie x fem!reader

Eddie stood in front of his van, trying his hardest to make the damn thing work, but after hours and hours of trying to fix it, he decided to throw in the towel. He slammed the hood closed and turned to face his trailer, throwing his wrench to the side and running his hands over his face in frustration, causing the soot from under the hood to get all over it.

He just wanted to see you and now he was without a vehicle. He was sure that he could ask Steve for a ride but there was no way he was going to do that. First of all, he hated being in the passenger seat, and he also hated how Steve drove. He was too careful and Eddie liked to drive fast.

Eddie couldn’t help how anxious he was to see you. He had gotten the call that you had broken your leg and needed to be there with you. He needed to give you cuddles and all the kisses you wanted because you deserved them.

So, Eddie did the only thing he could think of. He walked. He took the teddy bear he had gotten for you and he walked all the way across town to get to you.

He was tired and he wasn’t wearing the right shoes and it was hot in the direct sunlight, but he didn’t care. All that mattered to him was seeing your bright smile when he showed up at your door.

Eddie wiped the sweat off of his forehead as he got to Family Video, trying not to look like a mess when he stepped inside. The hadn’t realized how hot it was until he stepped into the nice air conditioned building.

Steve was at the counter, sorting through some VHS tapes while Robin was on the phone with a customer. The place was pretty empty for a Friday and Eddie was grateful he wouldn’t have to wait in line after he got what he needed.

He headed towards the romantic comedy section, looking for your favorite one. He didn’t care what people thought, he liked watching the genre with you. The whole idea of watching people’s love stories always warmed his heart. Maybe it was because he was happy with you. So happy that he didn’t mind walking across town just to see you.

He grabbed the movie and a few of your favorite snacks along with a bottle of water for himself. He put everything on the counter, clutching the bear to his chest so he wouldn’t lose it and watched Steve ring him up. Steve eyed the bear and Eddie didn’t miss the look he gave. It wasn’t quite judgmental, but he was definitely suspicious.

“Who’s your friend,” Steve asked as he scanned the items, an amused smirk on his face.

“It’s for y/n,” Eddie told him, clutching the bear tighter to his chest.

“Right,” Steve nodded, putting the items into a paper bag. Steve had always been rooting for you and Eddie to get together and he’d have been lying if he said he didn’t play a little part in your getting together. “I saw her yesterday. She’s doing really good. She misses you, though.”

Eddie tried his best to fight off the smile on his face. He loved hearing those kinds of things, especially when they came from your own mouth. The words sounding so pretty when they fell from your lips.

“She does?” He bit his lip to hold back a a stupid smile.

“Of course she does,” Steve gave Eddie a pointed look. “You’re her boyfriend.”

“That’s right,” Eddie replied, holding his head high. Eddie wasn’t proud about most things but being your boyfriend was definitely one of them. He’d tell anyone who was listen, especially after a few drinks.

Steve told Eddie his total and he threw some crumpled up bills onto the counter that were put in the register. Steve eyed the metal head and couldn’t help but notice now sweaty and out of breath he was.

“Why are you all sweaty?” He tried his best to not sound judgmental since he genuinely cared.

“My car broke down.” Steve couldn’t believe Eddie had walked all the way to Family Video and had every intention of walking to your house. That had to be miles.

“Ah, so that explains the soot on your face.”

Eddie took the bottom of his shirt and rubbed it on his face to wipe away the soot. He couldn’t see you looking like that.

“You’re good,” Steve told him, holding his thumb up.

Eddie took his things and exited the store, just ready to finally get to you. He was hot and uncomfortable since the sweat was making his clothes stick to him, but that was the least of his worries.

You looked around your bedroom at all of the get well soon cards and other gifts that had been given to you when you had broken your leg and maybe too many had been from your boyfriend. He had been there for you every step of the way. He had even driven you home from the hospital and carried you up the stairs to your room.

You felt so lucky to have someone like him. Someone who was so sweet and cared for you in a way that no one ever had before. He’d bring you flowers and your favorite takeout after a long day and you’d eat it together, nothing but smiles as you talked about your days.

He’d drive you anywhere you asked him to despite the fact that you had your bike, which had been the whole reason why your leg was broken. You had fallen off it while trying to get Eddie’s and thankfully someone had seen you on the side of the road and had called an ambulance. You were grateful that it hadn’t been more serious.

Your bedroom door had burst open and there was Eddie, all sweaty, clutching a teddy bear to his chest with one hand and holding a brown paper bag in the other. He dropped both things to the floor and threw himself onto your bed, making sure not to hurt you.

He grabbed onto you, burying his face into your neck, pressing soft kisses to it. His arms snaked around your waist, pulling you even closer to you. One of your hands ran through his hair and the other went to his back, rubbing circles along it.

“I missed you,” he mumbled into your neck, giving it one more kiss before pulling back to look at you. You always somehow got prettier every time he saw you and he almost thought it was unfair. He didn’t care if you had just woken up or if you had been wearing a full face of makeup, he still thought you were the prettiest girl in Hawkins.

“I missed you too,” you replied, your hand still messing with his hair. “Missed your cuddles.”

“Well, what do you think I’m here for?” He laid next to you, pulling you into his arms, pressing a kiss to your temple.

“Well, you took long enough,” you rolled your eyes, your words having no actually heat. “You called me at almost noon and it’s now,” you paused, looking at the digital clock on the desk next to you. “Almost four.”

“Sorry, honey,” he looked up at you. “My van broke down so I walked.” Your eyes widened at his words and he knew exactly what you were going to say. You were always worrying too much about him.

“You walked here?” You sat up a little more, Eddie not moving as you did so. “Eddie that’s at least five miles.” He thought it was cute that you were concerned. He was fine but he wasn’t opposed to letting you baby him. He loved when you took care of him.

“So?” He needed the exercise and wanted to see you. He was just killing two birds with one stone.

“First of all, you’re not wearing the correct clothing or the right shoes. And you should have at least put your hair up.”

“I love when you worry about me.” He pressed his lips to yours in a lingering kiss. He was hoping that it would make you forget about being mad at him. It always did when you were having your little arguments like this.

“At least take your jacket off,” you told him and you didn’t miss the smirk forming on his lips. “You have to be burning up.”

“Oh, trying to undress me, hm?” He wiggled his eyebrows and you pushed him off you. He took off his jacket like you asked but did it slowly to catch your eye.

You couldn’t help but be hypnotized by watching him, your eyes moving to his shirt. He had cut the sleeves off it so it showed off his arms. You admired them, the tattoos and the muscles that he had been a product of him getting a job at the mechanic.

As soon as his jacket was off, it was thrown to the side and he pressed his lips to yours, longer this time. Just as you were getting into it, he pulled away and pulled you right back into his arms, smothering your face in soft kisses. You let out a bunch of giggles and that was music to his ears. His favorite sound in the whole world.

“Eds,” you managed to get out through your giggles.

“Yes, honey?” That name always made you melt. The way it just rolled off his tongue Ike it was second nature. He favored that nickname over your actual one and you loved it. Eating up the term of endearment every time he said.

“Please.” More giggles escaped you and you could feel hiccups coming on so you had to put the fun to a halt.

“Sorry. Just love to hear your laugh, sweetheart. You’ve been so sad and I’m just trying to cheer you up.” He had seen how not yourself you had been since you had gotten your cast on and he just wanted to do whatever he could to make you feel better.

“Then do something that won’t give the hiccups.”

“Oh, I can think of a few things,” he smirked and dove in for another kiss.

[maximinnieandme]

Save America Again. © 2021, Meri Aaron Walker, iPhoneArtGirl. Talent, OR. All rights reserved. 

August 22, 2021

By the age of three or four years old, I started my lifelong training in telling stories with words and pictures and then sharing them.

Both of my Washington, DC professional parents were so busy with their jobs that they really didn’t have much time to spend experiencing my life with me. So they gave me the job of reporting to them about my day at the dinner table any time we ate together - which wasn’t actually very often.

But I was supposed to be ready all the time.

Is it any wonder I grew up to be a journalist? A teacher? A lonely girl? Obviously not, but it’s only recently that I have really begun to understand my life experiences as having created a value totally separate from equipping me to tell stories or make media for other people’s consumption or to delight them enough to make them want to spend some time having shared experiences with me.

One of the primary reasons I am not sharing my thoughts or little stories or pictures on my Facebook or Instagram (besides my personal safety) is that those platforms are set up for consumption and entertainment. I really got to see this after the fire left me all by myself in an experience of my own private Idaho. I have continued to make photographs and mobile artworks since last fall but I haven’t posted many of them because they are anything but entertaining. And they pale in the face of my attempts to come to terms with the personal experience of losing everything that ever proved to anyone - including me - that I had the experiences I called “my life.”

So, I’ve come back into Tumblr where I began, long before I shared any of the evidence of my experience on Facebook or Instagram. It’s private here unless I tell somebody about my posts. And my sole intention, as it was when I first limited my photography process to my iPhone, is to log some pictures and some words to help me process the meaning that I’m making out of what happens around me.

Those of you who have expressed an interest in my “journey“ this fall in Maxi mostly seem to be people who have been as interested in my process of making meaning out of my experiences as you have been in my images. Many of you have told me this explicitly.

I continue to marvel at people like you. Where I came from, there wasn’t any of the engagement you offer me. I am unfathomably grateful for your interest and your love. You have been teaching me what love is for years now.

It’s in this context that I shared a little bit of the story from yesterday (using email) about meeting my next-door neighbor here at Saratoga Lake - Jeremy, a cowboy from Nebraska.

Jeremy and his girlfriend and her 14-year-old daughter packed up their fifth wheel this morning and took off about 11 AM to get back to Nebraska. I really hated to see them go. I have so much more to learn from Jeremy. But Shannon’s teenage girl has school tomorrow and Jeremy is set to receive 25 to 40 cows from his peers on Tuesday because they can’t feed them in this relentless heat and drought and Jeremy can. At some point I will try to write more about what I learned from Jeremy yesterday. But it’s not today. In about 30 minutes I need to go get in the Hot Springs for my own well-being.

The photo at the top if this post was taken about two hours ago, after Jeremy had left. The space between me and the next neighbor looked just like the photo when I went out to take a walk through the campground. The truck had been riding through the campground in the evening yesterday and then from about 11 o’clock on today. But apparently the driver knew the people in the trailer in the background so he pulled up - sic - for a visit.

There really is no way for me to share my experience of the wind howling through the space here in southern Wyoming. It’s a symphony that is native to Wyoming. It’s the background for the lives of people who live here. It fills the huge spaces between everyone. It blows all the time. Of course it stops a little bit, but the wind articulates how huge this space is and how far separated individuals and families are from each other. And it keeps things that way. You have to fight the wind to move closer to someone. 

Living in it for the last few weeks (in rural Idaho and now here) makes it easy for me to understand how the pickuptruck driver just wants to be free. Just wants to do things his own way. Just identifies with Trump’s toxic teenage rhetoric about not being told what to do by people who don’t know you. Just wants space to be.

The west is full of people who don’t want to be told what to do by people who don’t understand space the way they do. Who don’t understand nature the way they do. Who don’t understand autonomy the way they do. People who live on the east and west coast and even in the Midwest, in cities. 

Trump’s 2024 flag says just what Westerners want to hear: Save America Again.

If those of us who haven’t experienced this kind of space - day in and day out - treat Westerners with disrespect, in our ignorance, in the same ways my parents treated me with disrespect, out of their ignorance about my actual child life experiences, we’re going to have another round with Trump in DC.

We have a lot to learn in a very short time about respect if we-the-people are going to “Save America Again.” And real learning happens ONLY by having personal experience, not by watching video on network TV or YouTube, much less reading endless social media posts. Watching media about someone else’s experience only gives you fantasies and opinions. 

I am honored to be able to share pieces of my thinking and my pictures with all of you. And what I want most for all of you is that you get the hell outside your homes and experience new things directly as much as you can. Covid or no Covid, right in the midst of climate change, our real lives depend on each of us having new experiences not consuming new digital media.

I love you.

[fizzingwizard]

Episode 28~ Well, I heard this season’s supposedly got 60 episodes total (don’t quote me, that may be wrong) so we’re almost at the halfway point... I’m gonna wait till episode 30 to talk about that though.

This episode I actually rather liked, even though absolutely NOTHING happens other than the important things at the very beginning and the very end. That’s becoming a pattern this season - lots of nothing sandwiched in between hints of big dramatic things to come. Eh. But yeah, I liked it anyway :P for a few reasons that are probably not that objective. It’s not the kind of episode that’s gonna make you want to rewatch though.

Cap of the week!

Look we all know Jou is exactly the kind of 12 year old who folds his clothes neatly even when lost in a mysterious parallel world. Also he brought more textbooks (social studies and Japanese). Aka more ammo for Mimi

More below:

Last week we ended with Patamon evolving to Angemon in what was a pretty anticlimactic moment, despite a big villain being there and a cliffhanger ending. Seemed like a waste after all we went through just to get him.

However, I do think the beginning of episode 28 makes up for it somewhat. Angemon gets to show off how Very Very Cool he is, but it’s also made clear that he’s not up to full strength. Seeing him throw all his effort into the battle to save them even though it’s clear he won’t win was actually pretty great.

More typhoon winds throwing everyone back XD they must have so many bruises

Poor Takeru gets thrown back all by his lonesome

So last episode, I said I thought Darknightmon was gonna go for Hikari and was surprised and somewhat relieved when he stayed interested in Takeru/Angemon. Um... I guess that was a red herring x’D he’s after Hikari after all.

He literally says “I have no use for you” to Angemon LOL sick burn my dude

Hikari: “There is a new cutest child.”

Takeru: “Um, actually the phrase is ‘smallest child’.“

Hikari: “No. Cutest child. Do not interrupt my moment, impertinent one.”

Grogu: “Did someone say ‘cutest child’?”

Angemon’s peeved that Hikari stole the spotlight so he immediately jumps into the way and prevents Darknightmon from grabbing her.

Angemon: “No one treats ME like some washed up has-been!”

But as hard as he tries, Angemon just hasn’t recovered enough. It probably took all the energy Patamon had stored up just to evolve. His wings lengthen and release into millions of shining feathers, and both he and Darknightmon de-evolve.

I really did kind of enjoy this battle! Seeing Takeru be all strong and heroic, and the desperation with which Angemon tries to protect him... me likey.

Next it’s a nod to 99 series! D-D-Digimon!

Yamato screams like he’s at the dentist’s.

There’s lots of freaky black lightning that rains down seeming to give dark energy and empower random Digimon who get hit by it. Just to ensure our heroes don’t get to waste time on any more “breaks”

A single feather floats down where Taichi lands and dissolves. I am not sure what happened to it, if it did anything or if it was what protected them until this point...

Taichi and Hikari wake up and discover they are alone. So last week I thought they’d get swept off into pairs... I didn’t even consider that they’d each wind up alone. Mixed feelings! On the one hand, seeing each kid interact with their partner and their partner only was one of the good things about this episode (except it wasn’t always true, which I’ll get to in a minute). On the other hand, my fears last week were that whoever ended up with Taichi would be overshadowed by him. Turns out, if no one’s with him but Hikari, that means all the plot stuff is with them and the others have nothing in particular to do. -_-; At least not this week. My hope is that it’s coming (and there were a few promising hints this episode so), but next week’s trailer looks pretty Taichi-centric too..

Taichi: “Can I help it if I’m so charming cool awesome and dare I say it adorable”

The impact of everyone being “alone” is cut short by the fact that they can all still communicate via digivice. I would be fine with that, except for what I said earlier - they wind up spending too much time talking to each other instead of their partners. Particularly the ones who like to Plan Things. Eh.

Yamato tells Taichi to protect Hikari, doesn’t even mention that he’s sadly separated from Takeru at this point ;_; He knows Takeru’s okay though because Takeru is also communicating by digivice.

Sora: “Hello yes, it’s in my contract that I get to be awesome X number of times per episode, and I have doubts that you are making your quota.”

I love how Tentomon’s job is basically Koushirou’s secretary x’D “Put my calls on speakerphone Margaret” “Yes Mr Izumi”

The partners really are suited to each other... Koushirou gets a secretary, Jou gets a mom, Mimi gets a gal pal, Yamato gets a therapist, Sora gets a sister, Taichi gets a... preschool child who eats paste... -.-’

takeru and hikari don’t count because they’re Special and their main attribute is Cute

All the kids have ended up alone except for super-charged monsters who want to eat them. Palmon hoists Mimi up a very sheer rock trying to escape Golemon who is not great at climbing but doesn’t seem to know that

Meanwhile Jou... is like “Ohh yeah, you guys have it so rough, I’m trying my hardest too, keep fighting the good fight y’all”

He’s relaxing in the hot springs and freaking studying.

Gomamon’s unusually fine with it though. Because he gets to swim. He says “Let’s invite the others here.” They’re both like YEAH THIS IS WHAT I CALL A VACATION

It’s all fun and games until the hairy guy with the tattoos and veiny arms sharing your hot spring starts staring at your ding-a-ling. Uhhhhhhh.

he does make the “Nanimono?” joke so all is well lol

No matter what form he takes, Patamon is always an Angel 👼

Takeru is alone but he has Patamon... but Patamon is...

... ADORABLE... and conked out. Takeru’s so proud of him though, look at that smile *sniff*

Taichi remembers to ask Koushirou how conditions are back at home. This kid is too organized.

Koushirou: “News and variety shows continue as normal even though the world’s ending.”

I’m not going to get into everything he says but it’s pretty much more of the same regarding the power influx from the human world to the digital world and the way the Zurumon’s attacks are wreaking havoc with electronics...

Taichi almost says “You’re so sugoi!” Almost. He’s grateful anyway. *chews on those Taishiro breadcrumbs till they’re broken down to atoms*

Then... Hikari’s acting strange!

Agumon: “What are you looking at?”

Hikari: “I don’t know.”

Taichi: “You don’t know but you’re looking at it?”

Hikari: “It kind of looks like Steve Buscemi... it’s hard to tell”

Taichi’s not too wigged out by freaky Hikari because he’s lived with her all his life, and she’s always been a freak.

Baby Hikari: “Shteeve... bushemiii....”

Agumon: “Your sister’s weird.”

Taichi: “Yeah but she’s MY weird sister.”

Yamato is fighting, of course. He stops for a moment to be impressed by how well Takeru’s handling himself. Garurumon points it out. I suppose it’s simply time to accept that this season Yamato is just not the disaster boy he was in 99 x’D

Now have some gratuitous adorable Patabutt images.

Patabutt patabutt pata pata butt butt

Um... is it just me or is Patamon kinda... oversized all of a sudden lol...

Takeru: “Did you eat all of my candy stash again?”

Patamon: “I just can’t seem to quit”

Takeru: “That’s it we’re getting you into rehab”

Patamon tries to fly but just can’t ;____; poor baby is totally wiped out. Takeru takes a long time to catch on to that. I REALLY HOPE THIS GOES SOMEWHERE, like Takeru has to protect Patamon instead of the reverse etc... pleeeeease don’t just leave this where it is writers!! The potential for cute is endlessssss

On the matter of Things That Are Not Cute... -.-;

Jou: “Please stop looking at my junk”

Nanimon: “Stop looking at mine”

Jou: “YOU DONT HAVE ANY wait do you wAIT I DONT WANT TO LOOK”

Mimi is much more useful! She discovers a shiny rock!

Theory!

This rock... could be the raw material for their Crests!!! Squeee~!! I mean, it’s about time something about that came up, assuming it’s still a thing. (Since they already seem to have their Crests loaded in their Digivices and got to Perfect level without any talk of values and personal strengths, I don’t know how much of the old Crest legacy remains in this season.) I, uh, did the same thing in my fanfic so I guess I’m just biased... These could totally be Evil Rubies Of Darkness and Terror but I’d rather have Crests :p Of course I would have expected Mimi to find green stones in that case sooo... maybe not.

Anyway she and Palmon are suitably distracted from running from Golemon and go mining instead. I’m sure that will not cause any problems.

We swing back to Taichi and Hikari, who are being approached by a big scary monster...

Taichi: “Watch my Tarzan impression.”

Hikari: “Nooo! I don’t want to be Jane!”

Fortunately Agumon evolves just to catch them in midair x’D Now is not the time for impressions, Taichi, seriously.

They are attacked by Volcdramon, which is a dumbass name.

Voldramon: “I AM VOLCRADMON, THE VOLCANO DIGIMON”

Taichi: “Velcromon the Velcro Digimon?”

Voldramon: “what NO i am Volcdramon-”

Hikari: “Voltronmon? Voldemortmon?”

Voldramon: *sniveling* “why does this happen EVERY time i JUST want to be one of the cool guys youre all such BULLIES”

MetalGreymon and Volcdramon face off, but something’s not right! Much like... the Digimon in the last episode whose name I already forgot *cough*, Volcdramon seems able to absorb other Digimon’s power. This presents a problem because last time it took all of them shooting into its mouth together to overload it so they could win. MetalGreymon is having a hard time on his own as Volcdramon just absorbs all his attacks.

Hikari prays to Jesus to save them. Digimon is approved for Christian families 👼👼👼

ugggghhh I love them

Taichi promises Hikari everything will be okay. His back-and-forth with MetalGreymon here is kind of cool. Every time MetalGreymon takes a hit, Taichi’s encouragement and coaching?? I guess keeps frustration at bay.

Buuut eventually they’re both feeling pretty desperate :P It was hard for me to take this battle seriously since, after all we’ve seen MetalGreymon capable of, it seems weird that he should be struggling this much. But obviously they don’t just want to make him invincible. And this problem makes sense: the ability of Digimon to absorb attacks and turn them into energy is definitely a new problem.

The question is, how do we solve it?

Apparently it helps if you have a little sister who’s some kind of super battery.

Taichi: “Nothing shocks me anymore with Hikari. She could announce she’s been Beyonce this whole time and I would believe it”

WarGreymon appears (again) as his goldeny vision self, defeats Volcdramon, then promptly de-evolves back to Agumon.

So the question is, why is this happening... From earlier episodes we know Agumon & co are some group of legendary warriors who have had their memories tampered with (??) to some extent (because they do still know each other, or at least Agumon and Gabumon remember knowing each other). Omegamon’s a given for that of course so I suppose that’s why. Hikari seems to be the key to unlocking the legendary warriors, maybe with Takeru. That’s my guess. Of course, Tailmon’s probably already in the bad guys’ clutches, much like Patamon was. I hope she’s still working for them. I want more double agent fun times. Also ANGST

Hikari: “Thank you, Agumon-” *disappears*

Taichi: “GEEZ I can’t eat, can’t sleep, can’t even breathe without something bad happening anymore, like excuse me for BLINKING”

Yeah so... Skullknightmon appears and abducts Hikari like it’s nothing xD

Skullknightmon: “What’s under arm number two? Iiiiit’s your sister!”

Taichi: “Aw damn, I wanted the sports car”

Taichi quickly gives chase. I assume Agumon’s pretty exhausted after that and probably can’t evolve now. Bad timing. Oooor maybe this is all how Skullknightmon planned it...

Then... the unthinkable! Hikari looks at her brother rushing desperately to save her... and turns away!

Taichi is SHOCKED! Le GASP!

Taichi: “But but but I’m the MAIN CHARACTER”

Hikari: “Not anymore bitch it’s my show now”

Yeah okay jokes aside! This bit was AWESOME. Like, I’m sure it’s obvious that she can tell the voice that “called” her to the digital world is with Skullnightmon. Or at least, her heart’s telling her she has to go with him in order to meet that person (Tailmon, duh). I’ll be surprised if that’s not what’s going on. But... to so coldly just turn her back on her brother... I mean, maybe she also thinks she’s protecting him... but SHE JUST GOT HERE... holy crap...

To think we spent so long theorizing that Takeru would be the one abducted but no it’s Hikari... In retrospect should have been obvious. She’s 1) a girl and therefore a damsel, and 2) the one who was abducted in 99 xP

But I really like her semi-willingly going off with Skullnightmon. Much better than just screaming as she’s whisked away King Kong-style. In 99 she also got abducted voluntarily (I mean, it was coercion, so... that’s not voluntary, but you know what I mean). So they kept that in this season and I like it.

That’s it for this week’s episode! So the bits that I liked were the individual moments with the kids and their partners, of which we had more than usual but still not nearly enough. Nowhere near. In the end it was still a Taichi episode.

As a Taichi fan... it’s not like I’m ever sad that he gets more focus. But I love ALL the kids and they’re NOT getting development. We do keep getting hints about them but it’s so, so, so slow. To be fair, it’s not like we know THAT much about Taichi either. He gets so much focus because he’s always fighting. This season doesn’t seem concerned with personality and character bits like the 99 one, and I am gonna compare them for that. Because I think that was the heart of the 99 show. Without it, it’s missing something. I keep hoping it’ll come back, we keep getting those hints and special moments here and there, but the plot is such a distraction... if it was like a really good plot maybe I’d care less but...

Next week...  as far as I can see, it’s another Taichi episode xP But I do think they’ll do the same as this episode and intersperse Taichi’s battle with what’s going on with the others too. If that’s how they do it, I won’t mind. It might even be better. Fine, Taichi can fight, as long as the others are showing us more about themselves and getting other things done in the meantime. Mimi and Jou both look promising. Takeru too. Sora and Yamato, not sure..

Koushirou better not just sit at his computer the whole time -___-

Le owch.

Taichi: “Look being the main character’s not all it’s cracked up to be. I have three concussions and six broken bones. Also I can’t feel my toes anymore”

hang in there bud im cheering for ya

[waitimcomingtoo]

idk if you are taking requests or will be comfortable with this one but can we get a tom blurb? your a new actress and you have a scene where you have to cliff dive and you accidentally drown because equipment got stock on you and tom has to do cpr?

decided to combine!

Old Friend 2

First Part

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Warnings: drowning

Masterlist

Tom left set with one thought that day:

He needed your lips on his again.

He felt weird with his sudden less than platonic feelings for you. You’d been his best friend all his life and now he was wishing you were more.

He ended up getting his wish, but not in the way he imagined. 

“Wait up!” A mans voice sounded behind you as you made your way back to set.

You turned around and almost dropped the mountains of scripts you held in your hands. The man helped steady you until you got back on your feet.

“You’re Y/n, right?” He asked.

“Yes, I am. Have we met?” You asked him.

“No. I’m the stunts coordinator.” The man explained. “Kevin needs you to fill in for an extra again.”

“You said you’re a stunt coordinator? I don’t think I’m qualified to do any stunts.” You told him as you struggled to keep the scripts together.

“That’s why Kevin wanted me to get you. You don’t need any qualifications. We just need you to jump into some water.” The man said simply.

“Jump from how high?” You asked skeptically.

“Just a few feet.” He promised. “The cameras will be underwater and that’s what we need to capture. We’re gonna film the actress jumping off a platform that looks like a cliff but we need footage of you under the water. Our actress is being a little difficult about getting her hair wet today.”

“Is it safe?” You implored.

“Very safe. We’ll attach an air tank to you and you’ll be just fine.” The man smiled. You shrugged before feeling the brisk wind chilling you through your sweater.

“I don’t know about the water. It’s freezing out.” You pointed out.

“You’re gonna have a weighted wet suit on under your costume. It’ll keep you warm.” The man assured you. “Will you do it?”

“Sure.” You nodded. It was another chance to be in a marvel movie. “Why not?”

An hour later, you were getting an air tank hooked on to your back as someone zipped your costume over your wetsuit. The suit was heavy and you already felt like lying down. Tom had to film his own scene and couldn’t be there to watch you, but he gave you the biggest hug when you told him and wished you luck.

“Ready?” Kevin asked you and you gave a thumbs up.

“Action!” He called, and you jumped into the water. You twisted your body as you were told as you sank to the bottom. The underwater camera touched your foot unexpectedly, causing you to jolt. Your back hit a rock and the air tank began to make a weird sound. You opened your eyes and could just barely make out the air tank through the murky water. You reached for it in a panic as your back hit the bottom, the air tank on top of you.

Your air tank sat on your chest and held you in place. You tried to maneuver it off of you, but it was too heavy to push. The added pressure from the weighted wet suit kept you pinned to the ground with no way of getting up. You struggled, but it exhausted you. You began to feel sleepy and decided to close your while you waited for the crew to pull you up. Slowly, you closed your eyes and let yourself drift off.

Elsewhere on set, Tom had finished his scene and was constantly checking his phone for an update from you. He sat down by two interns and sent you another text.

“Yeah, I heard it was pretty bad. Like, she came up all blue and stuff.” One of the interns said, catching Tom’s ear.

“Do you think they’ll halt production?” The other one asked.

“Probably not. She wasn’t a main actress or anything. Just some extra.” The first answered.

“What are you guys talking about?” Tom snapped, causing the interns to jump.

“You didn’t hear? An extra totally drowned over on lot B.” One said and the other lightly hit his arm.

“Dude, have some respect. She could be dead.” He said.

“Drowned?” Toms mouth went dry. “You mean the girl shooting the cliff diving scene?”

“Yeah, that one. No one told you?” The intern asked.

“When did this happen?” Tom ignored him question as his palms began to sweat.

“Just now. I heard it on my headset. You didn’t know her, did you?” The kinder intern asked.

“Did you say she was blue?” Tom feared.

“That’s what I heard.” They nodded.

“Move.” Tom pushed past the interns and ran to lot B. He saw a crowd of people gathered around something and began to push his way through. Through all the shouting and people, Tom found you lying on the floor with purple lips and a pale face. He immediately got down on his knees and held two fingers to your neck until he felt your pulse; weak, but there.

“What happened?” He demanded and looked around for someone to blame.

“We don’t know. She never came up for air. We think the equipment got stuck on her.” The stunt coordinator said sheepishly. He could tell Tom was furious and he had been the one who got you to do the scene.

“How long was she under?” Tom asked as he took off his jacket and wrapped you in it.

“Three, maybe four minutes? It wasn’t long. I don’t know why she isn’t waking up.” Someone else answered.

“What’s being done to help her?” Tom said angrily. “She’s purple for Christ’s sake.”

“Alec did chest compressions and Jenna called the medic. They said they’d be here in five.” The stunt coordinator offered as he bent down next to you.

“I don’t have five minutes.” Tom shook his head and put a hand on your chest.

“Tom-“ the coordinators moved his hand.

“Move.” Tom ordered. He put the heel of his hand on the center of your rib cage and laced his hands together. He began doing chest compressions for thirty seconds. He felt your pulse again but felt no improvement.

“You should really wait for the medic.” The coordinator said weakly. Tom looked at him with a burning anger.

“And you should really make sure your extras don’t drown in your watch.” Tom snapped before turning his attention back to you.

“Next time I kiss you, you better be awake.” Tom muttered before putting his mouth over yours. He blew into it until he felt your chest rise and began doing compressions again.

“Come on, Y/n. Wake up. Show me your eyes.” Tom begged while he did another 30 seconds of compressions.

“Please, darling. Let me see your eyes.” He asked again and he began to press harder.

Finally, a cough and a sputter caused you to open your eyes. They connected with Toms and a sleepy smile dawned on your face.

“Good morning.” You said softly as relief flooded into Toms eyes. He let out a grateful laugh.

“You’re okay.” He said as he pulled you into a tight hug. The crowd began to back away to give you space.

“I thought you were only a hero in the movies?” You giggled into his ear, making him hug you tighter.

“Well my damsel was in distress.” Tom replied. He held you close to him as he walked you back to the trailer, his hand never leaving your back. 

He was silent on the e way there, so you stayed silent as well. It wasn't until you were inside that he diced to speak. 

“Hey, can we talk?” Tom asked in a strange voice when you got back to his trailer.

“Sure, what about?” You asked. Tom stood there awkwardly as he searched for the right words. He stuttered for a moment and tripped over his words until he finally spit it out.

“You drowned.” He said as if it were the strangest thing in the world.

“I know. I better win an Oscar for this movie.” You laughed lightly, stopping when Tom didn’t laugh as well.

“It’s not funny.” He stated.

“I’m not joking. Playing ‘Girl Number 2’ has proven to be a real challenge and I deserve some recognition for it.” You said playfully as you cleaned up Toms trailer the same way you used to clean up his room so his mom would allow him to stay out a little later.

“You could’ve died, Y/n.” Tom said gravely.

“But I didn’t.” You quipped. “No harm, no foul right?”

“How was there no harm? When I got to you, you weren’t breathing. Your face was purple and your-“ Tom stopped yelling when he saw you back away from him in fear. “-your heart was barely beating.”

“Hey, Tommy.” You brought out his childhood nickname and rested your hands on his face, making him look at you. “It’s okay. It’s beating now. Here, feel.” You rested his hand over your heartbeat and let him feel it.

“I was really worried. Like, really really worried. I’ve known you all my life. I thought, for a minute there, we were gonna be pulled apart again right as we were brought back together. Right as I started to…” he trailed off. “It doesn’t matter. I just kept thinking of the day when you told me you were moving and how hard we both cried. I remember telling my mom I’d never see my best friend again. I got that same feeling when I saw you lying there, like I was loosing my best friend and I couldn’t do anything to stop it. I was really, really worried.” His eyes got glassy with tears and you decided humor would cheer him up.

“Hey, at least you didn’t wet your pants ag-“ Tom grabbed your face and kissed you firmly before you could finish your sentence.

“Woah.” You smiled shyly.

“At least you were breathing this time.” Tom said mostly to himself.

“Am I supposed to know what the means?” You raised an eyebrow, still in his embrace.

���It doesn’t matter.” Tom shook his head head with a happy smile. “I’m just happy you’re okay, old friend.”

“We’re not friends anymore, are we?” You asked coyly.

Tom smiled warmly and rested his hands on your waist.

“I guess we’re a little more.” He grinned.

Tag List 🏷

@maybemona @sunrise-shawn @meghan-8520xx @writing-for-hours-on-end @lavender-writer @captainmandeestudent17 @whatareyouhidingpeter @takenbyheartstrings @ultrunning @imyourliquor-youremypoison @theolwebshooter @autumnlyholland @andreasworlsboring101 @guksmyfav @waiting-to-be-myself @letsloveimagines @ho-ho-holland @peterparkoure @a-villain-vying-for-attention @m19friend @justcallmehitgirl @iamanerdot @averyfosterthoughts @jackiehollanderr @tiny-friggin-human @celestial-skylines

[padfootagain]

Always With You, Always With Me

This new Clone Wars trailer got me so fucked up, I had to write something for my precious baby Ahsoka!! So here we go for my first piece for her!

This is 100% of the fluffiest fluff, I am making my own heart melt with this.

Gif not mine

Word Count : 2069

It was the same and yet it was completely different.

Same pain. Same violence. Same blood spilled.

Different war.

You remembered the Clone Wars well enough, you were a teenager then. Some had called what had followed as a "new peace", but it wasn't. It was the war changing its shape to better linger on.

There was a lot that you had lost since the beginning of the Clone Wars. Actually, there was little you had left at all. But if there was one thing in this messed up galaxy that you wanted to protect and keep, it was the woman lying by your side.

When you met and discovered who Ahsoka was, your first thought was that a former jedi was the last thing you needed. Stars, how you had changed your mind in just a couple of years…

Ever since you had lost your family, you had promised yourself that you wouldn't get attached to anyone again. Love was too much risk to take during a war. And then, Ahsoka had stumbled into your life: an exhausted, out of breath, wounded woman all wrapped in a long blooded cloak. Helping her back to health was the best terrible decision you had ever taken in your life.

Outside, the rising sun painted the tired ruins of Yavin IV with gold. Most in the base were already wide awake. You had signed up long ago as a pilot for the rebellion, and Ahsoka had always been tracking down Sith Lords and fighting for the light, although, most of the time she came to Yavin, it was to see you. She was visiting you here now and then, while she wasn't travelling through the galaxy herself for some obscure reason she always kept hidden from you. Stealing a few moments together whenever you both could was all you could ask for. And as you looked at her sleeping under the golden sun, you were grateful for this moment you shared.

Deep down, you knew it would be a lot to ask to the Force to get another morning like this one. Still, you made the prayer.

Sounds of voices reached you, coming from the corridor. You checked the time: two hours left before your meeting to brief you on your next mission. Two hours left, you wished there could be an infinity instead. Ahsoka seemed to finally wake up by your side. She stretched, very much like a grumpy Loth-cat would have, and the thought brought a tender smile to your lips.

She hadn't opened her eyes yet, but her hand travelled across the bed nonetheless, looking for you through the sheets. Your smile widened at the sight, and you took her hand.

She smiled, turning on her side to face you, her eyelids still closed. You snuggled across the bed closer, until you could kiss her sleepy eyes.

"Morning, beautiful," you whispered, your voice a little raspy with fatigue.

"Hmm… mornin'," she mumbled back, playing with your fingers and moving her body to press against yours, skin against skin.

"Slept well?"

She chuckled.

"Don't recall there was that much rest involved."

It was your time to laugh, but you couldn't deny it, she spoke the truth.

There was still noise coming from the corridor, but you blocked it away from your mind. You had two hours left with her, you didn't intend to waste a single thought on the outside world.

You raised your hand to caress the white forms drawn across her features, and she wrapped her arm around your waist to pull you even closer. She smiled as your fingertips travelled across her forehead and then her cheek. The sunlight made the white areas of her skin golden, like the sky, her eyelashes catching yellow droplets too. She looked so peaceful, so beautiful like this, bathed with dawn.

"So… are you gonna keep your eyes closed all morning then?" you teased, and were not disappointed by her cheeky grin.

"Maybe," she teased.

"That's very cruel of you. What if I want to see your eyes?"

"I guess you'll have to convince me to open them."

"I could carry out a very violent tickle attack. That could do the trick."

She chuckled, her fingertips tracing circular patterns on the small of your back, delicate caresses that made you forget all your scars and all your pain and healed every inch of your broken soul.

"You wouldn't dare. You know how terrible my counter-attack would be."

"I'm reckless, haven't you established that by watching me fly yet?"

"Oh, I know you're reckless, flygirl."

"And you're unable to follow orders."

"Hey! Only unfair ones!"

You both burst out laughing.

"But I think that a kiss would be convincing enough, no need to threaten me with your terrifying tickles," she said mockingly, and if you hadn't loved her that much, you would have been annoyed by that smug tone. But then, you did love her that much, so instead, you complied and kissed her lips.

Which… turned out to be a little more than only one kiss, and more to be a lot of kisses. But then, it was to be expected with the two of you.

Over the kisses, you shifted position and as you finally pulled apart, Ahsoka rested her head against your heart, and listened to its steady rhythm.

Life. Beating. Pulsing. Strength, energy, existence bursting through your veins thanks to this tiny piece of muscle that she was listening to and was all hers. She could feel the force flooding through you, she had always felt it steady and peaceful around your frame. Some used to say, when she was a padawan, a lifetime ago, that the force surrounding a person could show the deepest part of their soul. She was not surprised to find out that yours was full of light.

You remained like this, cuddling, for a while, merely enjoying being together as minutes flew by. But eventually, you had to break the soothing silence that had settled in.

"When are you leaving?" you asked in a whisper.

"Probably when you leave for your own mission."

"Where to?"

"The stars."

That was always her response. The stars. In the end, you knew it would be to do something against the Empire, more or less. You didn't know what, you didn't where. It didn't matter. She just couldn't tell you.

She couldn't tell you how fast she was running. She couldn’t tell you what her former Master, this man she trusted, and loved, and admired, had become. She couldn't tell you that she felt like it was partly her fault, that for countless nights she had stared into the shadows of her room and wondered what would have happened to Anakin if she had remained in the Order as his padawan. She couldn't tell you she was running from her past just as much as she tried to repair whatever she could because she felt like it was her who had destroyed it all. She had always felt like it was her fault, maybe because she was one of the few jedi still alive, at first at least. But then she learned about Anakin, and the guilt gnawed at her soul with renewed strength. You knew the truth though, you knew who Vader really was, under that mask and buried beyond all that hatred. You were the one to pick up Ahsoka's pieces and put them back together when she had learnt the truth during that duel. Nevertheless, she had never mentioned it again, and didn't intend to. You were the bright side of her life, she longed to let her demons behind thanks to you. Just like you hoped that by loving her, you would escape these ghosts that followed your every thoughts.

But then, you were there. Bright as a sun, tough as kyber. A strange combination of love and rage. You longed for peace, and wanted revenge. You were not afraid to admit the two sides of your soul. Maybe it was what had attracted her to you so much at first. How fiercely you wanted to destroy the Empire, to avenge all those you had lost, but also to save the ones who remained. You were fierce, just like her. A bright woman too selfless for her own good. Throughout these past couple of years though, you had been more than that to her: you were her home.

She couldn't stay for long. She was too afraid Vader would find a way to trace her back to you, and she would never forgive herself if anything happened to you because of her. She couldn't imagine how to live without you now… But still, she loved you too much to stay away forever, she needed you like she needed air, you were a part of her flooding through her veins, a constant presence more soothing than the Force itself.

She had been trained to avoid these feelings. She had heard what it was supposed to feel like to love someone so much that one's own self wasn't important anymore, only the other. To love someone so completely that your life depended on this love. She hadn't thought it was true.

And then, she met you. And now, despite the risks, she couldn't live without you.

"I'll come back soon, don't worry," she reassured you. "Just… be careful during your mission, alright?"

"Alright. But you ought to be careful too, yes? Investigating Sith Lords business can't always be easy. And I know you won't tell me anything, but I'm also not an idiot, and I know perfectly that's what you're truly up to."

Your voice was a little shaky. She chuckled.

"Worried are we, Ms. Y/L/N?"

But your expression grew more serious, and she knew you weren't trying to joke when you answered.

"Yes. Very."

She gave you a tender smile, moving up to rest her forehead against yours.

"We made a promise to each other a long time ago, I intend to honour it."

"Me too."

"I'll always come back to you."

"And I'll always come back to you."

Before you could add anything else, she was kissing you, deep and slow and loving, making sure to pour all her feelings for you into that kiss. It was like opening floodgates for love to run free. It was opening the door to let out the deepest secret of one's soul, and it was all love and light and care, and you wanted to cry before so much beauty offered to someone like you.

For years you had been certain that all you were was an orphan, one of billions that the wars had created, a fighter in a larger army, only one expendable pawn set on a game of chess the size of a galaxy. You had never thought your life important, not since you had lost everything. You thought you would end up dying alone, forgotten among the count of victims, and you were fine with it. But then Ahsoka had come, and she looked at you with so much love, and so much pride, and so much care, it was painful the way she made you feel so loved. It was too much for your untrained heart to take, this beating organ in your chest that had known nothing but pain for years wasn't ready to be adored. It still felt like all this love was too much, that it made your heart swell and almost burst, almost break your ribcage with all these feelings, to a point that your lungs didn't have enough room in your chest to let you breathe anymore. Like your life mattered all of a sudden. Because she loved you, and if someone like her could love you, then it had to mean that you were someone special too, after all.

You had thought for years that you weren't meant to be loved. But then, Ahsoka had proven you wrong. You reckoned that the best you could do to thank her, was to love her back just as fully and unconditionally as she loved you. And it was the easiest thing you had ever done.

"We'll always be together, right?" you asked her in a breath.

She ran a hand through your hair, offering you the softest of smiles.

"Yes, Y/N. We will. Even when we're apart, I'm always with you, and you're always with me."

 **************************************************************

Taglist : @ponycake27 @horsesreign @xinyourdreamsx @jbluevelvet @notkeppeki @daynigt-dreamer-stuff @fudgeflyss @stuckupstucky @snek-shit @suchatinyinfinity @i-padfootblack-things  @buckybsarmy @heyohheyitsgabi@jigsawlover10 @emyyjemyy @addictedtofictionalcharacters @wangmangagavroche​

[buckyscrystalqueen]

Too Smart for Your Own Good: Part 2

Pairings: Machine Gun Kelly x Reader, (Past and Future) Henry Cavill x Reader

Warnings: Swearing, one night stand, unprotected sex

Word Count: 2,129

A/N: Doesn’t have a completed end yet, but just giving you more content to try to get myself out of a writing funk.

Part 1

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Well aren’t you a sight for sore eyes.” Your father, Negan, chuckled as you got off the golf cart in front of the trailer you’d be celebrating Christmas in again, like you had for three of the past ten years, at the Los Angeles County State Prison.

“Hi, daddy.” You breathed in relief, grateful to spend any amount of time with the only family member that you could completely trust. “Merry Christmas.”

“Merry fucking Christmas to you, too, Princess. Fuck you, give ‘em.” He barked as he pulled the bags of food and your clothes off the back of the cart before you could even think to reach for them. You simply rolled your eyes and grabbed your guitar case before thanking the officer and heading inside the family visit trailer. “So what kinda trouble did you get into this week?”

“Well…” You sighed as you sat down at the small table in the kitchen. “… I went to Cleveland on Saturday and flew back yesterday morning. Pretty sure I got pregnant, too.”

“You fucking what?!” Your dad roared as he slammed a box of Mac and Cheese down on the counter. “Fucking Henry?”

“Henry is not coming back!” You shouted back, defensively. “And does it fucking matter? I made a choice, two choices actually, to sleep with some douche bag and not take Plan B after. It is what it fucking is.”

“So what, you're just gunna throw away your fucking life…” He started as he went back to throwing groceries in the cabinets, angrily. 

“No, I made the choice to not be fucking alone any more!” You interrupted as you looked over at him. You couldn't hide the hurt in your eyes when he turned around to stare at you, shocked that you were actually talking about your emotions.

“Sweetheart…” He breathed as he abandoned his task and came over to sit down in front of you. “You are not fucking alone…”

“I am alone, daddy.” You nearly whispered as you put your feet up on your chair and wrapped your arms around your legs. “Mom’s dead, and you're in here for who knows how much longer. And Henry…” You scoffed and shook your head. “Henry isn't coming back. He loves being some hit shot doc the Army more than he ever loved me. So other than my research, which I've all but abandoned anyways out of sheer boredom, I have nothing. I have no one, daddy. Just the occasional visit from Ashleigh and some of the harlots from the club. Maybe a once a month lunch date with some of the people from UCLA. But that's it. So I made a choice not to get the morning after pill after I stared at the box for over an hour and weighed out the pros and cons. And I would much rather raise a sperm donor baby than be alone in that house anymore.”

“OK.” Negan whispered with a nod as he rested his hand on your bent knee. “OK. I don't fucking like it, but I will get on that train all the fucking same.” Tears welled in your eyes as you rested your cheek on the back of his hand, and you closed your eyes to hide them. “So I'm gunna be a grandpa?”

“Maybe.” You choked the slightest bit as you opened your eyes to look at him again. “It just happened but I know I'm ovulating…”

“Eww fucking gross.” He fake gagged to get you to smile as he pulled his hand free and got up to finish putting groceries away. “I don't wanna hear that shit.”

“That's what you get for raising a daughter with no filter.” You pointed out as you propped your chin between your still bent knees.

“Fucking gross.” He repeated with a laugh. “So the fuck was in Cleveland? This fuckin guy?”

“Ashleigh’s client. He’s a rock rapper that needed someone that could learn music fast and played the guitar well. So Ash landed on me. But dude is a total self absorbed prick. B minus in… well in the broom closet.”

“I'll have Simon kill him.” He said almost 100% seriously.

“You are not going to kill this idiot for being bad at sex.”

“No, I'm gunna fucking kill him for laying a Goddamn hand on my daughter.” He responded with a smile as he balled up the last empty grocery bag and put it in the recycling bin.

“You're an idiot.” You laughed as you grabbed your guitar and got up to sit outside for a while.

“Hey, be nice to your old man.” He huffed as he grabbed a pack of cigarettes and a pack of matches off the table and followed you out front to enjoy the California sun. “And go easy on me today.”

“Yea fucking right.” You laughed as you sat down on one of the plastic lawn chairs and pulled out your guitar, which took you almost a year of bribery to be able to get it into the jail it now lived in in the first place. “Where’s the fun in that?”

“Pain in my Goddamn ass.” He grumbled around his cigarette as he moved his chair out off the shade and pulled off his blue prison issue shirt for as long as he could get away with it. “Alright… rock music from the 70’s.” You nodded at the category and tuned your guitar before picking an easy AC/DC song to start with. Which is pretty much how you always spent your days when you visited your father in prison.

——

Your office hadn’t looked so chaotic since you were working on a regular basis, but as of that morning, every available surface was covered in every single medical textbook, (with a focus on pregnancy and pediatrics) and motherhood book you could get your hands on. The dry erase board that usually had your equations to see if your Milky Way black hole theory was a possibility, had been wiped clean and replaced with columns upon columns of notes, to separate the ridiculous from the actual facts you would need to go through a pregnancy and raise a child.

You were blazing through the ‘Essential Neonatal Textbook’, when your house phone rang, startling you the slightest bit and forcing you to pull your attention away from a long list of the benefits of cord blood. You sighed and snatched up your headset as you set the book down to work through all of the information and pick out the more important bits and pieces to make the best informed decision.

“Ms. (Y/L/N)? I have a Colson Baker here to see you.” Your fingers froze with the cap of the marker in one hand and the marker itself in the other.

“You can let him in.” You sighed as you took a step forward and started a new list under the newborn column in the middle of the board. You heard the line click in your ear and you wrote quickly, trying to get some of the information down so you knew where to pick up when you came back inside. You got a short start and reluctantly forced yourself away from your research  to let your guest in. You started to work out your ideas vocally as you opened up the two gates and watched his purple Lamborghini pull into your driveway. You waited just long enough for him to make it half way to you, before you turned and headed inside to add more to your cord blood list with him following behind you.

“Umm… what the fuck is this?” Kels asked as he looked at the board over your shoulder in shock.

“Did you vaccinate Casie?” You asked as you continued to write.

“You’re fucking pregnant?!” He shouted over you as you capped your marker and set it back down on the easel.

“I am pregnant.” You said evenly as you walked over to find the ‘The Umbilical Cord Blood Controversies in Medical Law’ book to cross reference the former textbook. “Did you vaccinate Casie?”

“Were you gunna fucking tell me?” He shouted as you flipped through the pages, easily reading 20,000 words a minutes despite the distraction of your visitor.

“I was neither planning on telling you, nor keeping it from you.” You said simply. “I want nothing from you, Mr. Baker. I don’t need money, and I don’t need you to step up to be a father. You were a one night stand that I chose to not take Plan B after. My choice, my child, my body, my life.” He looked at you completely lost for words as you set your finished book down and headed back to the white board to add and change notes. “I would like your family medical history, though. I could easily do a diagnostics test and an MSS while I’m pregnant but…”

“Oh, I’m gunna be fucking sick.” He groaned behind you as you finished your idea and turned to move on to the next section. You grabbed the trash can and handed it to him on the way past as you tried to keep your thoughts as straight as possible, relatively unsuccessfully.

“I don’t wanna be alone.” You sighed as you looked over at him for a moment. “And after the way you treated me that night, the way you just used me and threw me away like I didn’t mean a Goddamn thing…” You exhaled through your nose and shook your head as you looked away from him and out the back door to the ocean. 

“I don’t care that you’re not happy here, Mr. Baker. I don’t care if you want to be in this child’s life or not. I don’t care if you see me or this child as a mistake, or what you see us as at all. I just don’t care. What I care about is having a calm, healthy pregnancy, and becoming a mother. And I will not tolerate having someone come into our lives to walk in and out of it because he never wanted us in the first place. Nor will I tolerate someone treating me like I’m worthless trash in front of my child.” Kels didn’t say a single word as you shook your head and turned back around to go back to work. “Stay as long as you want. I have work to do.” 

As Colson sat and thought, you went over to find a book about banking cord blood so you could round out that column. The next column was pros and cons of breastfeeding verses formula, which was a lot more extensive than you originally expected due to the varying opinions on length and benefits, but after reading through seven different books, and writing and erasing conflicting notes, he finally spoke up.

“Breastfeed for a year.” He almost whispered as he watched you work. “That’s what we did with Casie. And yea, we vaccinated her.” You nodded your head as you erased the idea you were writing and stood up to make a note in the vaccines column. “I don’t turn my back on my kids.”

“OK.”

“I’m sorry.” He continued as you capped your marker “It’s no excuse but I was high as fuck and running on adrenaline. I used you and that was shitty as fuck.”

“Yes it was.” You agreed with a nod as you leaned against the front of your desk and crossed your arms over your chest.

“Well I’m fucking sorry.” He said a little harshly. “And I’m sorry for knocking you up.”

“Pregnancy happens, Colson.” You breathed with a shrug of your shoulders. “I’m obviously a little more prepared since I actually made the decision…”

“Yea, that’s a fucking understatement.”

“OK, you can fucking leave and I can file a restraining order.” You snapped. “What’s done is done. I’m pregnant, you’re the father, your kid and my kid have a new sibling. You’re not going to have to pay child support, I’m taking primary custody with open visitations. And no, I am not going to date you. Not now, not ever. You left a sour taste in my mouth and I want nothing to do with you or your crazy lifestyle.”

“You’re just making this super fucking easy, aren’t you?” He asked as he pushed himself out of his chair. “I’m outta here. I’ll get your number from Ash and I’ll be in touch.” You rolled your eyes and gestured toward the door behind him.

“You can see yourself out.”

“Such a fucking bitch.” He muttered as he stormed out the doors and through the atrium to leave. You let out a huff and shook your head as you went back to your research.

“Idiot fucking sperm donor.”

Part 3