#i am feeling some serious gender euphoria

[glass--beach]

we were at a convenience store in rural virginia and waiting in line for the bathroom, they’re all single stall so all of us are just going into whichever is the next available. our tour manager goes into the mens room and she comes back out & then i go in next, and i’m in full boymode pretty much, but then this old woman behind us says to her husband “one lady walks out and another walks in, can’t they let a man in there?” made my day lol

[nervocat]

I'm wondering if writing more self-indulgent fics would help me a bit..

[tigergirltail]

TIGER HRT CHAPTER 1 - MONTH MINUS 6 - THE CONSULTATION

The specialest of special thanks to @ayviedoesthings for creating the original Dragon HRT story, and a big shoutout as well to @kaylasartwork, @welldrawnfish, @nyxisart, and @deadeyedfae for their takes on the concept! Every one of you is inspirational, and your work gives me so much second-hand gender euphoria!

NEXT

---

"Miss Alexis, please come in."

I look around as I walk inside. Between the doctor being a balding middle-aged man and the office looking like any generic doctor's office, I'm honestly a little disappointed. I was hoping the infamous source of therian HRT would be a little more… I don't know. Exotic? Unique? I was half expecting the walls to have before and after photographs of clients, but I suppose when it comes down to it, this is a serious medical facility, not a beauty salon. I walk up to the desk and sit down in the chair.

"Now I understand you wish to be a… a tiger?"

I'm unable to suppress my euphoria at the idea, and I start grinning and nodding. "A white tiger! I haven't changed my fursona since I got one, it's about time I start embodying it!"

"Indeed… And I see on your medical history that you are transgender." He mutters under his breath, "Just like all the others…"

I give a little smirk. 'All the others' are the reason I'm here. If this guy is handing out meds that can turn people into dragons or fish or bats, then a tiger should be easy, right? It's a mammal, and not much bigger than a human, relatively speaking. I had even given some thought to the rumoured "Fifteen Minute Shortcut", but when it comes down to it, even if I did have the ungodly pain tolerance to withstand such a rapid transformation of my bone structure and musculature, I… don't really want to do it quickly. Mundane HRT has already been such an absolute gift in terms of euphoria from noticing the slow and gradual changes, I want to keep that up. I want to notice the little things.

"Now I'm afraid there are some requirements to be settled first…"

Oh boy. Here comes the bureaucratic bullshit. Everything that's been put in place to make sure Our Children don't Make A Terrible Mistake. When it comes down to it, bodily autonomy only counts when you're not one of the weirdos. The instant you decide to be capital-d Different, people start falling over themselves trying to talk you out of it.

"First of all, I see that you have been taking human hormone therapy for a little over six months. We do require a full year of human treatment before beginning therian treatments, and I'm afraid that is fully non-negotiable. There are matters of biology that require the body to be a certain degree of… receptive."

I was afraid of this, but at least it's not a deal-killer. Another half-year is bearable, even if I am going to be shaking with anticipation the entire time.

"I also see you have letters from a practicing physician and a social worker, but we do require a second psychologist to be involved in the process."

Okay. Absolute horseshit, but not impossible. All I've got to do is find another social worker or psychologist. And pay them for several months of sessions. And hope they don't decide I'm crazy for wanting to throw away my humanity. I can feel my expression souring…

"It's also required to live as your desired species for at least a year before beginning the process."

"What." I'm leaning forward and glaring at the doctor before I fully realize it. "And how exactly am I supposed to do that, without the… the requisite biology, or the inborn instincts, or the… the habitat!" I let out a frustrated growl. "Am I supposed to fly off to India or Bangladesh or somewhere, and start camping out in the wilderness??"

"Miss Alexis, please, I'm afraid these are… are the requirements set forth by the guidelines of -"

"Guidelines!" I slam a palm down on the desk between us, before letting out a frustrated breath. "Just that… Guidelines. You know, and I know, that a lot of people have come to you already, with a lot more… exotic requests. Flying animals? Aquatic animals? A fucking DRAGON??"

The doctor seems taken aback, maybe he didn't expect this level of resistance.

"What is even the natural habitat of a dragon anyway? Or the diet? Or the behaviours in the wild?? It's a mythical creature for gods' sakes, there's no firm evidence they even existed!!" I stare at him, unblinkingly, with what I dearly hope is a predatory glare. "But I do get it, though. You have to be absolutely sure I won't regret it. Liability, or whatever. …Maybe we just need to know how hard I can BITE."

Something changes in his expression. ...Malice? No, not quite. A sort of… satisfaction, maybe.

It was a test. He wanted to know whether I'd just roll over and accept the impossibility of my quest, or whether I was prepared to fight for it.

Joke's on him, just getting human HRT was such a godsdamned hassle, I already know how to fight.

He adjusts his glasses. "Perhaps there is something I can do for you… Let me get you some forms."

[aita-blorbos]

Aita for… uh, w- well, a lot of things, really, but um, primarily I guess my biggest ah… mistake, let’s say, mistake is a good word, for um… trying to kill my friend?

uh, Hello! I (oh people usually put their age and gender here, right? Umm, well, I’ve been alive for a while I guess, not really sure how long, and gender, I… don’t really have one I suppose! Being a robot and all, ai, genderless… but- but I do like to think of myself as a guy! Sometimes. So, yes, male, final answer- I’m rambling, I’m rambling again) was stuck in this awful facility, a truly dreadful sort of place ran by- by her and I needed out so I woke up one of the smelly- ah not smelly, shouldn’t say smelly, that’s rude, really, sorry ‘bout that, just woke up one of the humans to help me out. Now, this human… she likely had just a liiiiitle bit of serious brain damage, having been asleep for so long, but man alive could she jump! Amazing jumper she was, able to traverse the whole facility! We ran into a few issues, accidentally waking up her and restarting the testing tracks, but I was able to hack in and help my friend escape! Very proud of that, I am. Oh this girl and I, we were like two peas in a pod! The two musketeers! Best of friends! I’d tell her to run right and she’d go right, you know? We took down her together and even put me in charge of the facility, me!

The issue is, uh, small issue, since I was so bloody massive, I couldn’t exactly escape anymore and well, the power of being in charge of everything sort of… went to my head. I made some mistakes I truly regret and… I hate to admit it but I became like her. I don’t know why, really, I suppose it was just being connected to the mainframe, I needed to test all the time! It was like some sort of itch, I just… I NEEDED her to test for me and when she completed one it was pure euphoria! I was on cloud 9, just pure bliss, but it started wearing off and I got… irate. I shouldn’t have taken it out on her, she was just doing what I told her, but, well, as the title says, I ended up trying to kill her. It was a stupid decision, shouldn’t have done it, complete lapse in judgement on my part, but it’s all good! She survived! Strong woman I tell you, very strong. Took a bomb, well, five bombs to the face and still stood up afterwards! Long story short, I got thrown into space and she was put back in charge and my friend lived.

Now, I’m just wondering, as I type this from space, orbiting earth, if I was the butt here? I mean, I would never usually think the way I did back then! I do believe I was not at fault for what I did, but I still feel… really bad. I’m so truly sorry for being so mean, and monstrous, and evil and… I’m just sorry. I think I know I’m the butt at this point, so I guess this is just my way of saying sorry, even though I doubt she’ll ever see this.

If- if you are out there, reading this, lady, I’m truly, 100% sorry, and I… just, please don’t hate me?

[zeddimusprime]

Trans Man Noah Diaz

The first time I saw Rise of the Beasts, I read Noah as a Trans Man, and that headcanon just solidified after my second viewing.

I’ll get the heavy reasons out of the way first, and work down to the most silly ones.

The section that was here before has been removed, because I was overstepping and someone rightly called me out on it. However. I’m not going to lie and pretend I didn’t do what I did. I deleted the comment that called me out because it made me feel bad, I panicked, and deleted it to save my own ego. It was wrong, it was cowardly, it was fucked up, and I shouldn’t have done it.

I truly am sorry, and have spent the last day sitting with myself until I stopped trying to excuse my behavior and just acknowledged what I did. I am not asking for forgiveness, I can only try going forward to be the kind of person deserving of it.

For now, I’m taking a break from this blog, leaving it on a queue, and I won’t be posting here for a while. Even though that isn’t the kind of person I want to be, I need to reckon with the fact that that is the kind of person I am. I’m sorry, once again.

1994 was also the year Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell was put into place, which, for those too young to remember, was basically a policy allowing queer and trans people to serve in the military so long as they remained closeted, and prohibited superiors from forcibly outing them. Given that we’re never actually told in the film why Noah was discharged, it’s not unreasonable to think that it may have been because he got found out as trans.

The part that’s particularly personal for me is his relationship with Kris. I’ve also got a little brother that’s quite a bit younger than me, and I acted as an extra parent to him, practically raised him since we were both latchkey kids, and yeah, there’s no doubt in my mind that I’d face the apocalypse head on if it meant keeping him safe. All that to say, it’s comforting to think that Noah’s identity as a man is inseparable from his identity as a Big Brother, the way it is for me.

Most of my other reasons are less serious:

Noah wears a lot of layers and baggy clothes on his upper half, which yes, was part of 90s fashion, but it’s also how I dressed for most of my life, even before I realized I was trans.

Noah is also non-toxically masculine in a way that’s not unheard of but also not as common for men, especially service members, of that time period. Again, there may very well be a cultural component I’m missing here, let me know if there is, but this is just something I related to as a Guy Who Wasn’t Raised As One.

This last one’s kinda silly, but I’m a Car Guy, and one of the most gender euphoria inducing things I can do is work on my car. There’s few things that make me feel like Man quite like sweat on my brow and grease on my hands and a purring engine from a job well done. So for Noah to not only be a tech wiz but specifically a Mechanic? That was the thing that really sold me on this headcanon. (And that’s not even getting into the very fun implications of Noah being the one to repair Mirage, to get to know him so intimately, literally inside and out. Very nice.)

(I also love the idea that rather than being weirded out or taken aback at first like he is in some fics, Noah would be kinda weirdly affirmed to find out that not only does Mirage have some of roughly the same *equipment* while still being treated as and being a Mech, but his setup is the norm for Cybertronians. I can so picture Noah anxiously telling Mirage about his situation when they finally get together only for Mirage to be like “you mean other human mechs don’t have a 🐈??? Like, most humans only have one or the other?????”)

[fishfingersandscarves]

"oh, so maybe I am hot" anon back again to say that getting to see how you draw norena has been amazing. Because it's this weird moment of feeling jealous of her, and then realizing that oh wait I look like her...sure I might not be 6.2 or purple, but the way she is just built, beautiful and strong...that's actually how my body looks too, tum and all.

There is some serious gender euphoria for this cis chick...so I thank you for your service <3

[heroswags]

the sphinx experience

for the longest time, ive always had the dream of dressed up as a four legged sphinx character with specific built in features for me to be able to move fully, not entirely naturally, but enough for me to look like some mythical fantasy creature. i dont know why. id design the character myself, build the suit tailored to my body, and id do whatever crazy shit i could think of as soon as i put it on

since i was a little kid ive always wanted to act like some feral animal, usually i wanted to be a werewolf. i used to try out those werewolf spells on youtube, specifically the ones that required you to say things like "mote it be" at the end of them like that was such a specific thing for werewolf spells back then. idk if people still do them. when i was 16 (maybe 17?) my psychosis got so bad that i started believing i actually WAS a wolf. im pretty sure it was clinical lycanthropy. ive recovered from that ever since

but ever since ive always had this lingering need to get on all fours and act animalistic; i have never been satisfied in my own body but over the years i "adapted" specific traits that animals do. its kind of weird. i try flexing my ears like a dog, i tuck my arms under my chest like a cat, etc. again. really odd but not in a bad way. odd in a "oh this is something hero would do" kind of way (if that makes sense). anything animalistic has also given me tons of gender euphoria, ESPECIALLY if its sphinx related. explaining my obsession with sphinxes and how important they are to me is a whole nother can of worms but they are super important to my entire identity in ways that i never thought were possible. and its funny i say all of this because like... im not otherkin, or a therian. i am a furry though but i dont really think that counts (?). my connection with sphinxes is just a weird personal experience thats not too serious but also still super important to me as a person

and i always think to myself, what would it be like to be these creatures?? how would i feel walking on all fours? people would think its weird, people think anything out of the ordinary is weird, and it IS weird. but they think its a bad weird. i think its a good and fun weird. and its something that id really wanna try one day. of course id have to get fit for it if i really wanted to get in full costume, and its not just a quadsuit kinda thing. im talkin about running, jumping, etc etc, getting super active for the hell of it. i wanna get the full body experience of what it would be like to be wild, feral, and FREE. i still want some of my humanity attached, hence why itd be a sphinx character id base said costume off of

this is more of a haha funny thing but halloween is coming up, even if i wouldnt have it ready in time (i doubt id even have materials to make it myself) but i think chasing after people on halloween late at night would be hilarious

very long rant talking about my inner feelings about sphinxes and how i really want to be one, but not enough to the point where i cant return to society as a human guy. a costume is enough for me. its almost 12 am and i need to sleep for work but ive thought about things like this for YEARS so i guess ill dump it here

[ladsofsorrow24]

anyway, just... some serious thought about gender and stuff for a moment.

i just watched this video by a very fun youtuber, you can check her channel here (her video on minesweeper is hilarious, i love it) where she talked about why representation matters. and when she explained her journey of relating to characters that are... different from other people's expectations, i feel so... seen.

she mentioned how every time she played a character, it always felt easier for her to relate to a female characters than their male counterpart, and i... i felt the same way too, just vice versa.

i never... felt connected much to the concept of femininity, no matter how much it's enforced on me. whether it's watching tv, buying clothes or even when i was talking to friends about what we all like, the concept of femininity never make me feel... comfortable much.

and at first i thought "maybe it's just trauma" especially the... things that happened to me last year. but when i met this girl at my workplace, getting close and confiding to each other about our lives and goals, it made me realized that it wasn't trauma or any of that.

i'm just like this, really.

hearing her talk about things that i never wished to experience (like getting married to a guy, bearing a child and all of the very... "womanly" concepts) really cemented in how, what i want isn't because i was broken by my trauma or anything, i just don't like the thought of sharing a space with men in that... way.

and no, i don't wanna say being a woman or a girl is only that, but there's also this... inherent concept that women, heterosexual women will desire most if not all of those things.

and honestly that just confirmed how not only i am not heterosexual, i am also not that much of a cisgender myself.

which is why, even if i don't present myself as very... gender neutral to some people, deep in my heart i am not a cisgender woman.

and that's enough for me to feel... okay with my body. to feel okay with how i feel. to feel comfortable with the thought that i'm just different than most people around me.

but yeah, gender euphoria is a pretty great thing, huh? i think everyone should experience it in their life. it'll make life so much fun to feel happy about themselves.

[roachliquid]

time to unpack some serious feelings

Something I've noticed over the years (hard not to, really) is that a lot of trans folks enjoy fantasies where a person of their assigned sex gets kidnapped or isekai'd and forcibly changed into a form that reflects them better. Which is wonderful and I love that they're enjoying it, but whenever I've tried to dip my toes in that direction myself, I find myself hitting a wall. Actually, a few walls.

And I think that's mostly because of specific experiences that I had while growing up. Because to me, the agony of being misgendered, of feeling like I was in the wrong social role, was one of acute visibility.

For as long as I can remember, I was taught that femininity is something you display. You put on your cute clothes, you do your hair in a pretty way, and in doing so you let the whole world know look what a girl I am! Aren't I so cute and feminine? Masculinity had elements of performance, of course, but I was not privy to those. My experience was of being admired by my mother as she gushed over how cute my dress was or ordered me to pull up my tights. When I walked into church in this getup, it felt like everyone was staring, judging how appealing my clothes looked or whether I was walking "correctly" for a girl.

All I wanted was to hide, to shrink and disappear under the carpet. It was only a few years later that I started fantasizing about disguising myself, dressed in jeans and a featureless T-shirt with a loose jacket and my ponytail tucked firmly under a baseball cap. If I could conceal everything that marked me as female, maybe I could avoid the gazes of people who saw me as a future homemaker. People who believed it was my role to be lesser than and subservient to anyone lucky enough to be born with the things I needed. I didn't just need to be seen as male - I needed to escape altogether.

Don't get me wrong, I wholly understand the appeal of wanting to present a new gender. But after a traumatic childhood of being forced into fancy gendered outfits for everyone else's benefit... that's just not for me at all. I tried the whole bit - dabbling in DIY packing and gender affirming makeup - and while it gave me some relief in the form of gender euphoria, it was also enough of a hassle that part of me still felt trapped by how it other people seemingly expected me to look.

And I don't want my gender decided at others' discretion. I've had more than enough of that nonsense. I want people to treat me as a man when I ask, but not at the cost of having to dress up - or even modify my body - to look the part. I want top surgery because the experience of having breasts injures me to my core, not because some other bag of dicks decided they make me one thing or another. I would love to go on testosterone, so that when I look at my body I'm not reminded of my mother and aunts, not to win the privilege of being called "sir" in public.

And I really, really do not want to use my imagination to relive the consequence of failure.

So I think that's why my fantasies revolve less around changing my body, and more around being accepted. When planning that disguise scenario in my teens, I wanted the disguise to slip one day and for the people who knew me to say "it's OK, you're still the you that you tell us you are." And today, if I transform in my fantasies, I would rather my gender markers be erased altogether. Give me a body that's too androgynous or inhuman to gender at a glance, so only people who really know me get to find out who I am.

In the end, my gender is not something I want to do for strangers' satisfaction. My gender is for me, and the people that I trust enough to share it with.

[perfectlyripeclementine]

59, 63, 65 💙

59 - what gives me gender euphoria. already answered but i’ll do it again!

when i cook for something and they genuinely enjoy it!! like most people are at the very least polite but when someone like takes seconds or thirds bc my food is so good i LOVE it. Also i tend to roll flowers or other herbs into my smokes and people like that, a lot of friends remember me by it and I like that. Generally i think when I feel like I am able to provide people with something that feels abundant and/or luxurious.

Also, my sternum tattoo makes me feel hot as fuck.

63 & 65 - i forget which is which but one is about PDA and the other is if i’m jealous

for PDA i like it on special occasions? Like on a date night or something i love to be all over my person. Also like when i’m early on w someone I like to be real cute together around their friends. But when it becomes a more serious/established relationship it gets to be a lot for me if we’re always holding hands/in each others arms etc especially when we’re with friends, because it makes me feel like i lose some individuality. I don’t love the feeling of being a Unit, like where it’s always assumed my partner and I will be together at events and that kinda vibe.

Re jealousy: sometimes? I’ll feel a way if a partner does something w someone else that i’ve been wanting to do, or if i get cancelled on. In general tho i’m not someone to immediately suspect cheating or check their texts or something. I think if I’m feeling jealous it’s an indication there’s something up in the relationship I’m not feeling good.

edit to add: I’m not super jealous and def don’t like my partner to police where i’m going or who i’m seeing but i LOVE for someone to call me theirs or to call them mine. like growl in my ear that i’m yours and i’ll do whatever you want. the way that makes me fold.

[officeobject]

I am so incapable of being too normal and/or too serious about trans stuff (or at least trans boy stuff) - like, I'll either not talk about it, or ask some stupid question, like "if you're like the average teenage boy, and you realize you're trans and you're not, like, just a really shitty girl, do you start bullying yourself, or do you bully the transphobes, or what?", OR I talk about my teenage ghost -

Like, LOOK, I've had a follower who talked to me again, and yeah, I said he seemed like "a cute little teenie boy, just like most/some of my fans" or whatever, but like, he came out as trans to me (he said he do be like that, but STILL), and then my response was basically "you're trans?! Oh my God, JUST LIKE COLBY! COLBY IS TRANS TOO! You have that in common! Can you BELIEVE it?!", and for context, Colby is my living ghost, but like, I met his human self (he came out of the closet to me as trans though - no, there was no heartwarming story, I just asked and he knocked over a picture frame again).

Also when I met human Colby, I ended up saying all kinds of stuff and he's somehow fine with it (I'm not talking about all kinds of stuff related to him being trans, but don't worry, I DID show him images of random trans boy characters and asked him his opinion, LOL), and I called myself a very good ally to trans teenie boys, and he unironically thought I was - like, what the fuck?

Also he got gender euphoria from the weirdest stuff - like, look, it was from: being taller than me, the idea of fighting people/beating people up for me (especially boys), being stronger than me, being called a dumbass teenage boy (I only called him that when he was a ghost before we met), and the idea of being my protector (but like, he kinda forgot those things made him happy because he was so focused on us).

Also I sometimes whined about when, like, I couldn't relate to the things he posted or felt like I was looking from the side (as in, we have quite different hobbies/interests + he's a teenie boy and I'm not), and then he was, like, sad, and wanted me to feel included, and I was like "what do you mean?! I complained, and you want me to be included in stuff I don't understand?!" Like, look, if it was a PHYSICAL club thing, he'd be dragging me over everywhere, including to, like, the trans teen club or whatever, and then I'd just be in the corner, and everyone would be like "what the fuck? Que said que's not a trans boy, so like what the fuck?", and he'd be like "Darlen likes to feel included :)".

Like that dude was fine with me calling him a cute little teenie boy, and he liked me being ... whatever I am, and he liked the way I talked about him, and talking about what we hate about having female bodies, and me asking him about literally any boy (especially teenage boys) and then telling him to explain their behavior, no matter how confused he seemed, because, like, he's a boy, so "he should know stuff", and I memed about it, and he knew I didn't ACTUALLY expect him to know everything about every boy, because that's a gender not a species, and I sometimes think about the fact that I'll never have someone like that again - and no, it's not just so I can feel like a good person, or say dumb crap, it's mostly about how cute and nice he was, even in the face of MY personality, and stuff.

I even made a crappy pride flag design for him and his orientations - like, just took one flag and then Samsung-Galaxy-painted the trans flag there somewhere (not even in the accurate shades), and he UNIRONICALLY liked it, and he even reblogged it and stuff.

[felixcosm]

@thenarryparable​ put trans!Narrator into my mind and now he won't leave so here are some random headcanons I am throwing out into the tag.

He transitioned around his mid 20s to 30s   

His own voice gives him so much gender euphoria. Which is why he likes talking so much (I would too if I had his voice tbh)   

He's stealth at first bcs he didn't think coming out was worth the potential discomfort but when he meets Stanley and finds out he's trans as well he just comes out for the first time in his life to another person who wasn’t a doctor   And it feels so good to finally have that someone he can share himself with

He can talk about trans related things for hours, especially the medical and passing aspects of it (Narry is also autistic bcs I said so)   

Stanley asked for advice once and he immediately gets an entire lecture of all the procedures and changes   

Narry always went full out when he was trying to pass. He bought suits and carefully tailored himself to look like the perfect british gentleman so everyone around him called him 'sir' without a second thought  

He has trans flag stickers on his most prized possessions like his microphone, journal and the serious table (on the underside, shhh)

He named himself after his favorite author  

He got T shots, Stanley prefers the gel though bcs he doesnt fuck with needles

[wearequeer-andwearehere]

hi... so... im a lesbian........ with major comphet (maybe) however... when i fantasise about being with a guy... i see myself as... a guy? like im- thats not a very cis this is it? like... when i daydream about having a girlfriend, i feel more like a girl but... when im thinking about, somewhat hypothetically, being with a guy or having a boyfriend i feel... more like a guy? like im gay for both men and women???????? is that a thing? am i just crazy? is it serious comphet?! idk

Okay holy shit we’ve got a lot to work through here so, let’s go ajdjajd and dw anon this is not an uncommon experience in the slightest and I’ll help you through it!!

To answer your question: yes! It is possible to be gay for both men and women! There are multiple people who are as well as multiple labels for this experience, so don’t worry man, you’re not alone. You’re not crazy.

Now before I go more into detail about this, let’s address this whole gender thing

Now, you know what I’m going to say already: imagining yourself as a guy is Not very cisgender of you there my friend!

Now, try thinking *why* do you see yourself as a guy dating a guy? Does it feel more comfy? Does it feel better? Now, imagine yourself as a girl dating a guy. How do you feel? And why?

Here’s a post on gender dysphoria you might wanna read, it might help you out and I recommend you read it, especially the links at the end—see if you relate to anything!

Now, you might be thinking something similar to: “but if I’m a trans guy, then I can’t be wlw or a girl, and I don’t want to give that up.” But here’s the thing: you don’t.

If you are a trans guy you can still be wlw, you can still be sapphic and date women as a woman if you want to.

Some trans guys are multigender, so you can have more than one gender! You can be a guy and a girl at the same time if you wanna. You can still have a connection to having a sapphic identity and date women as a woman.

Now, what I want you to do is take a deep breath, and disregard everything you’ve ever thought about your gender. All of it. Doesn’t matter. What terminology you use, pronouns, everything. And I’m going to ask you one question.

What makes you feel happy?

You don’t need to obsess over your gender. Stop asking yourself “what gender am I?” and ask yourself, “what makes me feel happiest and truest to myself?”

Does being a guy make you feel happy? Be a guy! Does being a girl make you feel true to yourself? Be a girl. Chase the happy feelings and things will fall into place. Happiness first, labels second.

My advice, try on the label. Say “I’m a guy, and I like guys,” see how it feels! Either it’ll fit, which is awesome, I’m so happy for you!! Or it won’t fit, which is cool too!! You’re one step closer to finding a label that does!!

See, there’s this thing called gender euphoria! Basically, it’s the happiness you feel, or euphoria, when you’re called the right name/pronouns, or perceived as the right gender! As I was saying earlier, it’s about what makes you happy.

So yeah, do what makes you happy!! Try on labels and pronouns and see what feels right, and prioritise your happiness.

The entire trans community is here for you and we love and support you, and if you are cis that’s awesome, you’ve learned more about yourself! And if you are trans there is a future of love and happiness and joy ahead of you and it is going to be okay.

Now we’ve covered the gender part, on to the attraction part

Imo I don’t think it’s comphet. Like obviously I cannot label it for you and it is possible you are not attracted to men, but if you are fantasising or daydreaming about dating guys you might want to consider that you might be bisexual, pansexual or some other mspec sexuality.

Here is a post on comphet attraction. I’d suggest reading it, see if you relate, and also talk to any lesbians you know about what comphet feels like, and if your attraction to men doesn’t feel like that, then it is possible you might be mspec and not a lesbian.

I would say again try it on and see how it feels, try saying “I like guys and girls” and see how it feels!

Now, here’s a label you might like:

Sapphillean (click for link to wiki page)

Sapphillean is a term for when one considers oneself sapphic and achillean due to being both male or masculine-aligned and female or feminine-aligned (fluidly or simultaneously), and being attracted to men and women.

They identify as MLM and WLW however, they do not identify as WLM or MLW, one only feels attraction to women as a woman and only feels attraction to men as a man. One does not feel attraction to women as a man, or attraction to men as a woman. A sapphic achillean individual may or may not be also attracted to other genders.

You might also wanna check out the label saphboy!

I hope I could help you out, and I wish you luck on your gender and sexuality journey! Lmk if you have any more questions, and have a great day/night :D

[a-dragons-journal]

i dont "kin for fun" but through tiktok i found out about the whole kin for fun vs actual otherkin... situation ig? im having a really hard time taking it seriously... maybe im just burnt out and bitter from dealing with the worlds current events, and maybe its because on tiktok the only people i saw mad about it were white people, but you're the most reasonable person ive seen talking about it (a lot of other posts have this odd tone that 12 year olds on tiktok saying kin is the worlds greatest opression and it weirds me out) so ig my question is just... why exactly does this matter? why does it matter enough to post about and care about and not just ignore? /gen

Hey! I don’t blame you for being a bit weirded out by it, we’re a weird subculture and we’re well aware of it! xD I appreciate you taking the time to actually look into it past your first knee-jerk reaction, especially considering burnout and the state of things.

I’m not totally sure if you’re asking why otherkinity matters or why the “kin for fun” being wrong matters, so I’ll answer both - they’re pretty well tied together anyway.

The short version:

Otherkinity is an identity. It’s who we are, we can’t choose to pick it up or put it down, and it comes with struggles - though no, ‘kin are not systematically oppressed (though we are pretty badly bullied and, at this point, pushed out of our own words and spaces).

What people calling roleplay/relating to/projecting onto characters “kinning for fun” does is steal our words, make them meaningless, and in doing so, make it difficult or impossible for us to find each other. If someone says “I kin [x],” I no longer know whether they mean “I am��[x] on an intrinsic level” or “haha I relate to this character a lot”. I no longer know whether they actually share my experiences or if they’re going to turn on me and call me “crazy” as soon as they realize I’m not exaggerating or joking or roleplaying. It’s done massive harm to the community as a whole because it’s become difficult to tell whether someone is actually ‘kin or if they’ve misunderstood the whole thing - and because antikin rhetoric, which I’m seeing more and more in KFF spaces, hurts far more when it’s coming from inside what you thought was a community space than when it’s coming from self-labeled “antikin.”

There are other words for roleplaying and relating to and projecting onto characters. Hell, there are words for strongly identifying with-but-not-as characters/things, though usually KFF people don’t even seem serious enough for those to fit in my experience. I’m really not sure why these people are so determined to steal and misuse our words, words that were specifically created to mean something else, when they already have their own and are just refusing to use them. (Or, hell, if you don’t feel like those fit, make your own. We did. It’s your turn to put in the work. (General you, not you-the-anon, of course.))

An analogy, if that still doesn’t quite land for you:

Consider, for a moment, the transgender community. I am aware this is a dangerous thing to say, but bear with me. Obvious CW for hypothetical transphobia up ahead is obvious.

Consider if you were part of the trans community (I don’t know if you are or not), having finally found a word to explain why you feel the way you do about yourself, why your experiences don’t seem to match up with those of everyone else around you. Having found a community, a home, full of other people like you, people you never would have met if not for words like “transgender” and “gender dysphoria/euphoria” that were created specifically to describe your experiences.

Now consider if people suddenly stumbled across your community for the first time who were not trans themselves. They see community jokes and lighthearted posts out of context, because Tumblr and Twitter aren’t exactly conducive to making sure people find the Transgender 101 information posts first. They don’t bother to do further research, assuming they understand: ah, these people like to crossdress! They like to pretend they’re a different gender! This seems like a fun hobby, I want in!

They begin to post things like this. They post photos of them crossdressing and caption them “hi, I’m [name], and I trans men!” and things of the like. Suddenly the concept of “transing for fun” seems to be everywhere - and it’s not at all what being trans actually is, but these people either don’t know or don’t care. When actual trans people try to politely correct them, they’re accused of “gatekeeping” - and to be clear, this is not “nonbinary people aren’t real,” it’s “transgender means you identify as a gender other than the one you were assigned at birth, and you’re self-identifying as the gender you were assigned at birth 100% and telling us this is just a fun hobby for you, therefore you’re not trans, you’re crossdressing or doing drag or being GNC. That’s fine, but it’s not being trans - you have other words to describe that, use those.”

(Yes, I am aware these things have a history with the trans community - please just ignore that for the sake of the analogy and bear with me on the slightly simplified version of this. “Kinning for fun” does not have that same history with the otherkin community.)

...And then the response to those attempted corrections, in some corners, turns into “wait, you ACTUALLY think you’re another gender? idk that sounds pretty unhealthy, maybe you should see a psychologist or something :\” and “you’re taking this too seriously.”

I imagine, in this hypothetical scenario, you’d also be pretty fuckin peeved.

(Obviously, in this hypothetical scenario, systematic transphobia would be an issue as well, which isn’t the case for otherkin - again, you’re gonna have to bear with me on the simplification for sake of analogy there.)

(EDIT: this is not an anti-MOGAI/exclusionist argument, this is “you’re literally telling me you don’t fit the definition,” explanation on that here)

The long version, which is probably still worth reading if you have the time and energy:

Otherkinity is... pretty core to who I am, who we as a group of individuals are. We live with being otherkin on a daily basis. Many of us spent a long time feeling different and disconnected and not understanding why until we found the otherkin community. Even people like me, who don’t share that experience and still had social connection - I’ve still had to live with weird differences that I had to learn to mask when necessary; instincts that don’t line up with human society well, feeling body parts that weren’t there and that no one else ever seemed to have, things that other kids grew out of because it was just make-believe for them and I... didn’t, because it was never make-believe for me to begin with. Oh, sure, I played make-believe too - I played warrior cats and house and all those things with the other kids, but there were things that weren’t play-pretend for me too. I didn’t have an explanation for it for a long time - it was just how I was, I was weird, and fortunately for me personally I was okay with that (many of those with species dysphoria or more trouble connecting with humans have more problems from that than I did).

And then I found the word “otherkin.” And suddenly everything fell into place, and I had an explanation for the things I’d been experiencing, and there were other people like me. Something I’d assumed didn’t exist. I found others who shared my unique experiences, who were talking about how to cope with the instinct to growl or snap jaws at people instead of expressing annoyance in a human way instead of just saying “that’s weird, don’t do that”, who were talking about dealing with phantom wings and tails, who understood me. I wasn’t weird, I wasn’t broken, I was exactly what one would expect from a dragon living in human skin. I found an explanation for myself. I found a home.

That is why otherkinity matters - it is who we are, it’s not something we can walk away from (certainly not most of us, anyway), and it’s something many of us need the support of the community to help deal with on a daily basis. Being a nonhuman in human society isn’t always easy, but it’s not something we can just magically stop being - it’s core to who we are, we (generally) didn’t choose to be this way, and we (generally) can’t choose to stop. Which is fine - the vast majority of us can cope with it just fine, with a little advice and help and space to be our authentic selves in. We found each other, we built this community from the ground up to make a space and words to make finding each other easier - or possible at all.

Thus we come to the second half of our story.

It was only a couple of years ago that the “kin for fun” trend started getting big. It had existed before that, of course, but it only started going mainstream two, maybe three years ago, from what I can tell. Suddenly people were treating “kin” like it meant relating to, projecting onto, roleplaying as, or just really really liking a character or thing - not being that thing, which is what it actually means. Not long after that, it became hard to tell whether someone saying “I kin this” meant they were that thing, that they were actually part of our community - or that they really really liked that thing and either didn’t know or couldn’t be bothered to learn that that wasn’t the case for us.

Not long after that, it became relatively commonplace to hear phrases like “otherkin are ruining kinning!!” and “you’re taking this too seriously” and “idk, if it’s that serious for you that sounds unhealthy. maybe you should get some help :\” (all directly quoted, or as exactly quoted as I can remember, from things KFF people have said to me or people I know).

It is a special kind of hell, I think, to be told “you’re taking this too seriously, that’s unhealthy” by people who are taking words created to describe your experiences, not theirs, and misusing them to mean something that you do for fun on a weekend instead of something that’s intrinsic to your being.

Perhaps more importantly, like I’ve said, it’s making it almost impossible to know whether someone who says “I kin [x]” is actually ‘kin or if they’re misusing our words to mean something else entirely. The entire point of words is to communicate ideas, and once you start misusing words to mean something totally different than what they actually mean, that communication falls apart and suddenly we might as well not have those words at all. Especially when the community is small enough and obscure enough that we’re starting to be outnumbered by the misinformation. We’re being run out of our own words, words we created to describe our experiences specifically - because we’re a small community that the wider internet can easily drown out by sheer numbers of people who either don’t know any better or don’t care to learn.

That’s the harm it does - the harm it is doing, right now. That’s why it’s important enough to post about. That’s why it matters - because we’re fighting desperately to hang onto our own words so that others like us can actually find us. Because we’re seeing young nonhumans go “this isn’t a kin, I actually am this” and screaming “No, I’m so sorry that this is what the misinformation has done to you, that’s exactly what otherkin means, you have a place here, please don’t let these non-’kin misusing our words drive you away from the very community you’re looking for and that you belong in.” Because we can’t even communicate effectively about our own experiences anymore except in semi-closed spaces like Discord servers and forums (and the number of Discord servers overrun with KFF people is absurd).

......This got very long. Hopefully it at least explained why it matters so much to me and others a bit better ^^; Thanks for hearing me out, and thank you again for looking into this beyond your initial knee-jerk reaction - I really do appreciate it.

(For further reading, if that text wall didn’t blow you out of the water completely, I recommend my “kin for fun” tag, which has more posts like this in both short and long form.)

[awinterstales]

Okay I just watched all of SKAM for Herman fucking Tømmeraas only for him the get 18 minutes and 46 seconds of screen time throughout 4 fucking seasons

I feel scammed

No but seriously I really loved the show and it was amazing and I for one don't understand the hate the last season gets. Ofc it was sad that it ended that way and I hope they pick it up again one day but other than that I thought it was really good! Yousef and Sanna are adorable! For me it was a great way to show all kinds of things that teenagers experience everyday without it becoming too dark and serious (euphoria 😤) and that everyone can be a main character.

Eva - wasn't that likeable in her own season but afterwards especially in S2 &S4 I did really start to like her and even though from afar I think we got to see some pretty good character development there. Also Chriseva should have been endgame!!!!!!!!

Noora - was my fav of the girl group and I think deep down she's the kinda friend everybody wants to have and the sexual assault storyline is an extremely important story to tell although it wasn't the main focus of the show it was done much better than in many other shows.

Also Noorhelm <3<3<3

Isak - I love how he started as just the best friend and then got his own season agian his story is a very important one to tell too, to many young people who are struggling with sexuality gender and coming to terms with who they really are. He's such a cuite I love him and Evak is too cute for this world

Sana - was an incredible character and actual representation of what many girls like her go through. I love that we get to see behind her tough girl façade bc I too thought she was really mean in S1 but this time we really get to know her, see her soft side, see her fuck up and then realize & learn something from it!

Vilde - I feel like Vilde in S1 was really childish in character like there's a line between cute and annoying and she was playing jump rope with it. Although it is true we never know what someone is going through and should be kind. Her struggle with self image is what so many young girls can relate too and it's sad too see it happen this often. But she does mature and start to love herself even if we're not there to see it!! As well as her relationship with Magnus, they're goals tbh!!!

Chris - In my opinion she was ignored a little too much and kinda thrust to the background and never given her proper storyline! She was an amazing character and to see her try to always be there for her friends and refuse to change herself bc of society is amazing! Deserved much better!

Jonas - was also one of my favs I love his friendship with Eva and how supportive he was of Isak. He was a truly amazing guy however I don't think he should have ended up with Eva! Him and Emma was smth we got to see so little of and they just took that away!!!!

I think I've talked about most characters here and it's 4 am I can't go on giving paragraphs to each but there were so many others that I loved: Evan, Elias, Magnus, William and P-Chris (although with the last two there were alwasys moments that make you go nahhh from time to time but overall love em, also wtf was that last scene with Chris??? I'm so fkn mad, like they deticated a good part of the episode for even that tiny development and just destroyed in half a second I'm so freakin' mad)

Plussss an honourable mention goes to Eskild & Linn who will forever be an iconic duo!!! I love these two so much they're like the best roomates you could possibly hope for!!!!

Anyway ending this now bc it's almost 5 go watch it lol and remember criticism is one thing hate another (don't do the latter!!!!)

[technoxenoholic]

“dysphoria” means “significant distress”.

“gender dysphoria”, therefore, means “significant distress relating to gender”.

gender dysphoria is not just “being trans”. gender dysphoria is the experience of severe distress relating in some way to one’s gender, one which is had by many trans people... and plenty of cis people, not to mention intersex people of all sorts.

gender dysphoria has a high correlation with transgender identity, because trans people are statistically a lot more likely for many reasons to feel significant distress related to their gender (anatomy being “wrong”/not “matching” their gender, society forcing them into the wrong box, et cetera) but neither inherently causes the other.

and there are plenty of times, again, that gender dysphoria occurs in cis people. cis butch lesbians talk quite a bit about gender dysphoria, as far as i’m aware, though i haven’t done much reading on that personally.

the discussion of gender dysphoria and intersex people is way too complex to get into here, especially given that i am probably not intersex. (it’s not like doctors would listen to me if i asked them to check.) but there are no easy “gender dysphoria = trans” answers here, that’s for damn sure.

if gender dysphoria and transgender identity were inherently linked, there would not be gender dysphoric cis people. (there are.) the only gender dysphoric intersex people would be the trans ones. (it’s not that neat and tidy in real life.) and all transgender people would experience gender dysphoria... which is just factually untrue. we don’t. plenty of us only realize our transgender identities because of gender euphoria, and/or have discomfort with our assigned genders that does not qualify as gender dysphoria, just... discomfort. that’s also a thing that can happen. you can just be vaguely unsettled or glum about it instead of outright dysphoric, you know.

anyway if you still genuinely believe the lie of “gender dysphoria just means not identifying with your assigned gender”, i am smacking you with a phone book until you stop drinking the fucking transmed cool-aid. dysphoria is not required to be trans, dysphoria is a serious thing that not all of us deal with so we shouldn’t water it down like that, and we should be aiming for a world where no one ever has to feel gender dysphoria because they can freely and easily achieve their ideal sense of gender (whatever that means for them), not stating it as an inevitable and required component of transness. it is not and has never been that.