#i am determined to be the author to bring in the 'ride or die' YA fantasy/supernatural romantic couples

[goldeneyedgirl]

Hello Lexie! I don't know why you've been off, but I really hope you are okay. I was thinking about StL the other day and how much this story gets me. It's been years since I first read it and I still remember how I thought that could actually be a book. You are, without a doubt, one of my favorite writers and I hope you come back to us soon <3

Anon!

I have honestly been off writing fic! I tend to go into a hyperfocus when I'm working on fics - especially STL - and go quiet on tumblr. I have a pile of asks to finish off, but I'm so excited about the new chapters I've got - Variable Stars is effectively being rewritten from scratch for a third time; Jar of Hearts only needs 4k left to finish it off; and STL has about 6k left to write - I've been intensely overthinking the new chapter, and that's what has slowed me down entirely.

And what you've said about STL makes me so happy, Anon. The idea that anyone could compare STL to a book just makes me wiggle. I never set out to write it this way, and I never expected so much love for it. It still catches me unaware how much people care about this story and love it, and I am so humbled by that reaction.

I promise you that I'm here, I'm just in my little writing cave getting these chapters finished before I show my face on tumblr again.

...but have a snippet of the new chapter for your lovely message <3

“I saw you might want to speak to me.” She sits on the cliff face with her legs swinging casually, doesn’t get up or offer for Edward Cullen to take a seat beside her because she knows he won’t. “I do.” Edward looks down, his hands in his pockets to appear casual but she can see the tension in his shoulders and jaw. “I’m surprised Jasper let me get this close to you.” The flashbacks, he worries I’ll hurt someone. Edward lets out a puff of laughter. “I don’t think that’s the reason, myself,” he says. She cocks her head in confusion. “I think it’s an even split between being viciously overprotective of the one person who could kill us all before we even realised what was happening, and wanting your full attention all to himself.”

[dracsig]

Oh boy it's that time. To toke up and write about some of the events of this year. Beginning this year I started my job at where I am now and I'm really happy where I am at work, although next year I'll try to promote my position. I'm qualified for higher positions and higher pay, I just have to stop being so lazy and actually applyyy. Speaking of lazyness, that is probably the theme of my life the past 3 years lol I never wanna do anything, and I really deeply enjoy doing nothing at all, but the older I get, the harder is to do nothing :/  Anyway, not much really happened during the first half of the year, that or I can't think of any atm. I'll prolly remember, on a random Wednesday morning, in the shower. But as of now, I honestly can't think of any. Pretty sure I spent the whole first half still playing DBFZ. Btw, I am still obsessed with Dragonball FighterZ, I've gotten really good at it, I'm still competing in it every now and then. I've even been playing Street Fighter 5 recently which is starting to be one of my favorite games. I'm sooo excited for the future game wise AND the PS5 is releasing next year. Ya know, some people, when I was younger and now, would always tell how I would grow out of playing videogames lol boy am I glad they're wrong. Honestly if it wasn't for videogames I... Actually I hate thinking of what my life would even be like without them. 

Then fast forward to like August, that's where the ride actually started. I finally saved up enough money to comfortably move into my own apartment, top 5 best decision of my life so far. A few things I was looking for, was somewhere close to work, somewhere that was cat friendly and didn't kill my bank account and I did that perfect place for me. Of course one of the first things I did when I moved was drive to shelter and adopt a kitty, I couldn't wait to finally own one. I was taking care of my brother's cat too at the time. So after I got my new kitty, Videl, I ended up having two cats with me. Videl and my brother's cat, Mia. They are my babies!!! I love them so much. At first Mia didn't even like Videl ofc, but now they are inseparable. I'm gonna be sad when my brother will have to take his cat back. Maybe by then, I'll get another kitty for Videl to have another friend... I'll worry about this when the time comes. Hmm, that’s actually a cursed phrase for me “I’ll worry about it when the time comes”  oh boy , So many personal topics I should be worried and concerned about now, but I’m always like “I’ll worry about that later” and watch it get worse , Story of my life lmao . Here’s some pics of my babiies at this time 😻

Anyway after I got my kitty I had a trip to Washington and that was okay. When I got back I was excited to see my babies. Then I really started to take advantage of me living, in a bachelor pad basically, it was just me and my kitties. Got to meet a bunch of people, who were nice, for the most part . Living by myself allowed me to have soo much time alone to think about certain aspects of my life (and do alota drugs lol) I have determined I don't think I will ever want to be in a relationship. Just from I've seen and been through this year, I can't see myself completely trusting my partner to not cheat on me lol as silly/dumb as that sounds I’ve watched it happen to many folks and too many people get away with it, I'm too afraid to be in that spot. But honestly I'm enjoying being single, I just do what I want whenever I want. I've noticed how independent I've been feeling lately, which could actual be a double edge sword when I'm not responsible 😅. I've also been noticing just how FAKE people are willing to be just for someone else's approval. Shit makes me sick. I personally haven't fallen for that trap, since like high school, just cause I stop caring about what people think of me years ago, but there are people out there who live for the approval of others. It makes me sick but it happens. All you have to do is be yourself, why worry so much about what someone thinks of you, that you're willing change who you are temporarily, and backstab others just to gain a week long friendship lol. Honestly, just be yourself, and if you don't like yourself, change yourself for the better. But don't backstab others just to appear likeable to someone else ugh. Shit irks me man. I have learned to just let these kinds of people out my life just cause they bring me too much negativity and anxiety, life's 10/10 without em. I don’t even know how I got on that topic holy shitt I wrote so much already , this might be longer than the other years , lowkey enjoying doing this, looking back at somet hings throughout the year :thinking:

Meh , on a lighter note, I have watched some pretty good movies and series this year. Avengers: Endgame, Spiderman Far from home, Detective Pikachu, Shazam, Joker, Dragonball Super Broly (ofc they’re all superhero/fantasy movies) to name a few. I plan on watching Booksmart and Parasyte soon. I also just watched Marriage Story on Netflix last night, that movie was soo damn good, had so many well written scenes. Favorite Netflix movie so far . I basically watched all of Bojack Horseman this year and it is on my top 5 favorite show, that and South Park . Game of Thrones’s last season was earlier this year, it was good, could have been way better, but the show that TRULY caught my attention and kept it, is Attack on Titan. 

Attack On Titan became my favorite show/media/manga ever of all time. Nothing will ever beat the story telling of AoT for a very long time imo. The manga is very close to finishing, and the last season will be late next year. I honestly hope that when I die, it will be after the last episode airs and after I’ve read the last chapter of the manga, then I’d be content 😅. Dead ass, I re watched the anime so many times and finally re read the manga from the beginning and my mind is blown with every page I read, HOW can an author come up with such disturbing, yet fascinating way of telling such a deep story? Wow, I can go on about that show FOREVER, It became my favorite show all time and I want to always remember it.

I know i missed a bunch of topics I planned on touching, but I’m gonna end up writing PAGES if I talk about everything. I reallly enjoyed this year though.

Just as before, I wanna say hi to my future self reading this in December 2020 . I have no way to predict anything about next year at all. Same with this year, I didn’t expect anything that happened to me (good or bad) I just rolled with it. I guess that’s life?? Hoping 2020 will be just as good, if not better :)

[richincolor]

Please welcome Sonia Patel to Rich in Color today. Her newest book, Jaya and Rasa: A Love Story, will be available next month. We really enjoyed Rani Patel in Full Effect, her debut last year, and are looking forward to this new release.

KEEP IT REAL OR YOU MIGHT DIE.

Keep it real or you might die. Sound extreme? Let me explain this short but profound sentence I often use to help struggling teens in my child and adolescent psychiatry practice. I’ll start by breaking it down into two parts.

Keep it real = Determine your true thoughts and feelings in the moment and speak up for yourself in all honesty. Or you might die = If you stay quiet and believe the negative automatic thoughts, feelings, and risky impulses that your mind is tricking you with then you might be more likely to go through with the risky impulses (suicide attempts, accidental excessive drug/alcohol use, unprotected sex, etc.) because there doesn’t seem to be any other way out of the intolerable swirl of chaos in your mind.

Obvious? Not to everyone, especially not to vulnerable teens. These are the pained teens—from all walks of life—I have the honor of treating. These are the teens who have a genetic predisposition to an emotional illness (such as depression or anxiety), have lived through trauma, or have dysfunctional family systems—or all three. These teens are more likely to remain silent about the unwanted, false, automatic negative thoughts, feelings, and impulses that plague them. For different reasons, these teens aren’t taught to speak up about, tolerate, or cope with all the negativity. This silent suffering becomes their invisible “teacher” and they learn to act out on their self-destructive impulses. Soon the only way they know how to minimize emotional distress is to act out with dangerous behaviors. It may become hardwired into their brains.

I value meaningful talk therapy as the foundation of my psychiatric treatment to teens. It is my goal to educate them on positive ways to maneuver through life. Over the course of weeks, months, or years we work together to discover how they can become self-aware, how they can say exactly what’s on their mind in any given situation, and how they can ride out the extremes of their negative thoughts, feelings, and impulses.

How they can keep it real so the don’t die.

I strive to be their keep it real coach. There is no better reward than to watch these teens learn to find their voices and be assertive. They become keep it real experts.

I also aim to be a keep it real author. I want to bring this powerful message to as many teens as I can. That is why I write YA novels the way I do—boiled down and raw.

In my office, teens who confide in me don’t speak in perfect prose when they share their innermost thoughts, feelings, impulses, and secrets. They might stumble on their words. They might not be able to find the right words. They might get straight to the point. They might ramble. They might swear. They might cry. They might scream. They might do a combination of all of that. So why would I write their stories in a pretty, elegant way? This is not to say these teens are not intelligent. They are. Some of them read at college level, take A.P. classes, and study hard. They know many big, fancy, SAT words. Those that don’t pursue academics to their full potential are still smart. But what I’ve found is that in the privacy of my office most teens prefer to talk in an informal manner rather than with refined formality. They choose to speak with their broken hearts.

It is with all this in mind that I wrote Rani Patel In Full Effect and the forthcoming Jaya and Rasa: A Love Story. I am excited for the world to meet Jaya and Rasa. They are blends of real patients I’ve had the privilege of treating (I must confess that there are also bits and pieces of me in Jaya!).

The way I write how Jaya experiences things in his life—such as private school, wealth, elitism, modern day Native Hawaiian oppression, lack of acceptance of his gender by his Gujarati Indian parents, bullying by his classmates, depression, self-blame for his parents’ fights, low self-worth, and the unconscious recreation of his parents’ relationships with Rasa—is how many of my patients describe their similar experiences.

The way I write how Rasa maintains a happy front while likening herself to a strong black widow spider is part of her response to trauma. It’s how she’s managed to survive her challenging circumstances. She’s learned to equate her body and sex as power and control over men who are actually abusing her. Under her black widow exterior is a vulnerable girl who hasn’t been given the chance to develop her self-worth or identity apart from being an object for others. She hasn’t had the luxury of a safe life in which her basic needs are met.

Neither Jaya nor Rasa have been taught or encouraged to become self-aware or speak their minds concerning their true thoughts, feelings, and impulses. So they’ve both stayed in their heads trying to survive their respective hardships. Their patterns of negative thoughts, feelings, and behaviors  become more and more ingrained as the years pass. That is, until they meet each other. The intense love that develops between them forces them to confront the flaws in their internalized ways of functioning in the world. They realize that they have to keep it real or they might die.

Check me out online!

Website: soniapatel.net

Instagram & Twitter: soniapatel808

Facebook: SoniaPatelAuthor