#i am a burden to my family :)

[pansyfemme]

i have been a ball of depression lately as well as my physical health worsening pretty severly this past week due to stress and so my friends have been. trying so hard to get me to get out and do things and its very sweet but i feel bad because the whole time i’m just a total mess

[paramnesiadreams]

pacing around my room, muttering "it doesn't matter" with tears streaming down my face and shaking my hands as if water were on them. if only it didn't, cause clealy it does. what doesn't matter? what actually does? all of it? none of it? the few things? the handful of people? the collapse of my health? the ruin of the country? the deaths across the world? the past? the present? the future? none of it? all of it? fuck it

[sushiisiu]

jsbajan i got whiplash bc i followed u for scollace & i haven’t been on tumblr in a while. so when i saw kaishin i was like, HM. THIS ART STYLE IS SO FAMILIAR?? then i realized. you’re posting bangers. another fav ship of mine. i love kaishin sm omgosh. <3 keep up the awesome work & have fun w/ ur art!!!

omg that's really funny since i've been thinking that my artstyle changed a lot (back to normal) after scollace but thank you so much!!! kaishin goated!! even if 73 is making stupid retcons!!! and i will i have so much devious plans for drawing them rn wahahahahhaa

fake ass bitch ^

[hannamoon143]

Oh I kinda need comfort rlly bad rn

*normal people: going to their family/friends and telling them what’s wrong, and let them comfort them*

*me: going on tumblr searching for skz comfort fics*

[skunkes]

the bad: i have been raised without much warmth from my parents in childhood, but also pressured to conform to familial authority, doubt myself always, and value familial connections above all else (<- failed at this, and feel guilt about it.)

but also in experiencing this i have been so isolated from the entire rest of the world and others, that it will be nearly impossible to create my own "family" -> find safety and comfort in anybody else once my family is Gone. despite dis i find it really difficult to break away from the familiar, disobey and disappoint, because, well, why are my wishes more important than anybody else's. why would I cause upset and distress in anybody, and exert so much effort into my doubt filled half decisions, for my meaningless little Wishes. being away would also mean less time with these people who I'll never see again once they're gone. being raised this way is definitely paying off for those who did so.

the good: yaaaay adjacent inspiration for writing talon lore

[peculiar--princess]

One of the worst parts about being chronically ill is that it impacts your ability to work and function like non chronically ill people do. Because of this, it also impacts your financial stability and makes you feel inferior and as though you’re a burden to loved ones.

[leviiackrman]

I am fighting for my life to be mentally stable and it’s not working

[kitsquared]

If i had to visually describe why i like Pereshati as a character in the story

She is the light to the others. A kind soul. Daniel even says she's brings a warmth to the cold residence

And she is also trying to cultivate herself as an heir and as a noble in society with a business

The Lapileons see her as the light, as a hope, in the enshrouding dark of their curse and family history. She has shed light on their curse and is bringing the family together

But the thing is, she is also surrounded by her own darkness

She has a light, yes, but she is also looking out into the dark

She doesn't think too highly or take much credit for what she's done for the family

Especially when she herself is navigating through her own desires and pain

So I like that she with her own pains with her own regrets tries to move forward in this second life. A small hope to do better this time

And that hope and light is also a saving grace for the Lapileons as they all walk the same dark path

[al-luviec]

still haven't moved on from zane in this episode (aka I hit tag limit again and am unhappy about it)

[robinyourcreator]

mentors! teachers! librarians! old ladies you see at the grocery or the knitting shop once in a while! middle aged men who are regulars at the same hardware store! the teenagers who come to the local game shops board game events and THEIR little siblings!

do you believe you dont share common humanity with any of these people?????

or do you have bizarre ideas gatekeeping the "sanctity" of friendship limiting it to only people you could have gone to high school with???

"what do a 19 and a 28 year old even have in common"

WE ARE ON THIS BIG BEAUTIFUL BLUE EARTH AT THE SAME TIME, ENJOYING THE GLORIOUS EXPERIMENT THAT IS HUMANITY, GOOD SIR!!!!!

this isnt even about dating-- like fuck no you couldnt PAY me to date someone in their early twenties NOW!!! but this is how we're being about FRIENDSHIP??????

[katsy-kitty]

I live in constant fear of being annoying af

[ablednt]

Granted I have the overall geographical and cultural knowledge of a 4th grader but from what I can tell the nuclear family model really does seem to be a white colonial invention

Different cultures have different approaches but I mainly hear about either large family units where multiple generations support each other and raise their children and grandchildren together or an "it takes a village" approach where children are raised somewhat communally

And I can't really speak on it much or claim that these families were free of abuse or that children aren't often an oppressed group basically everywhere I know of but the way ownership of your children is so engrained into white society is so bizarre

Like once you notice it you can't unnotice it even the most loving well meaning parents don't know what to do about it because everyone is so isolated from their own families and their own communities so you wind up with 1-2 parents who have full legal ownership of their child and are raised in a culture where you don't have personhood until you're 18 and all attempts at self actualization before them are seen as clueless rebellion. Like our culture is so divorced from the concept that a parent is someone who is helping mentor and care for their child so they can thrive as a fellow human being and it's actually so alarming

And ik this problem isn't unique to white and colonized people but it's honestly really soothing to hear about how other cultures approach and view parenting and community as a whole and to internalize it doesn't have to be this way

[waywardvagabonds]

Trying to be patient but would really love it if i had a therapy appointment scheduled by now.

[kuromi-hoemie]

me as a kid: haha birthdays are so silly, i wouldn't want a party i would hate to have to cleanup afterwards!!

me as an adult: if i stepped into any room full of people who thought my existence was inherently worth celebrating i would immediately curl up and cry hysterically about it

[orbdotexe]

can i just say that Longing For Acceptance Already Given is STILL rotting my mind? its tooth-rotting-ly sweet but its not straight fluff and my brain goes haywire everytime I read the line "They settle instead for a soft rippling in the Light; the feeling of tucking a sleeping other’s hair away." bc oh my GOD what possessed me when i wrote that. holy shit

Look. i know "pining" is usually used in a romantic way, but i think Wolf is just generally pining. Like anything they touch could shatter or wilt in their hands at any given moment and they hate it and they hate themselves but they're too tired anymore for there to be any real fire behind it and they want so badly to reach out but its tiring and dangerous and do they even deserve it?

If, by taking this hand, theirs would be cut off? Are they the offered hand, hiding a blade, claws? Are they capable of dulling their edges, of meeting gentleness with gentle hands?

Which, while it's not the highest quality, Against Better Judgement (ch2 of One Mirror, Two Reflections) comes back to this in that brief misc Wolf POV. Their sort of amazement/realization/mild crisis that they're holding something, wrapped in their hands, and its warm and its alive and it's not trying to run from them and- Its someone who trusts them, implicitly, not to hurt him.

It's the hand they're so afraid of and they can't figure out if they want to hold on to it and never let go or if they want to run, just keep running, and never let anyone so close ever again. Maybe he should be afraid of them, actually, maybe that terrifying hand is really theirs and their claws are going to cut him open when- if they try to hold on.

And the question of "theirs or his?" after calling the touch a lifeline... "Did that even matter?"

and the line "This quiet destruction– progress?" back in Longing? oh dont get me started.

hi helloo i am Not crying over my old writing. this is a perfectly normal thing for me to be doing. hi hey hello do you hear me. i did NOT mean to write a wholeass essay here it was just supposed to be reminding people about that one line, how did we get here. and anyway the very fact that i barely mentioned Ghost here isnt really a crime bc he's almost an extension of them. another piece of their soul. that softness comes so natural with him, another limb, and he responds in kind, and they both know the other is fragile, and they both know its in two so very different ways and yet they just get it. There's no one else like each other even if they both need more friends. theres nothing more important than each other and they're all they've got and and and-- if you know whats good for you, you will NOT read these tags

[thevampirearchive]

To be real with you, my goal in life is to work as little as possible. If it means getting a new job every year, every other year — whatever it is, I’ll do it. Just so the freedom i have will feel like free time. Spend doing whatever I desire. Drawing, painting, writing, enjoying nature & it’s creatures.

Sure I have goals, ambitions and desires, but I’d sooner die then make any of them a full time job, snuffing out the light they bring me in exchange for consistant work for consistant content. If they bring me riches by simply being made by me & people enjoying (and paying me), yay me. But never will i make what I love my full time job — unless I’m 100% in control of what/where/when. The goal is not to work and just be a trinquait lady, with a concerning obsession with vampires, a closet full of black garments, who enjoys cooking random dishes and sharing with whomever wishes to come over & feast whiles we talk about the universe.

And when I say that, people look at me crazy. But that’s okay, maybe I am crazy. I just know my lineage has too long of a history of slavery, and I’d like to end it with me — even if it’s modern day slavery. I shell never return to living to work. And do my best working little to live the fullest.