#i always see all my universes having all of the drivers included in some way even if theyre not mentioned at all +

[chilling-seavey]

Hi Emily! Different anon here, but I would love to know which drivers you’d write in passing, and which drivers are strictly off limits (like the tag you had in the previous anon). No pressure, of course! I just think it would be interesting to know for future reference. 💖

Hi anon! Great question; I'll definitely sort them out for you guys. I even made a handy dandy tier list for your reference:

Basically, the top two tiers are our focus! However, my lengthy smutty fics will almost always be George with the odd feature of Pierre and Alex (LOLL)...but smaller/more tame fics I'm definitely open to both of the top two tiers.

The middle two tiers would be more secondary characters only. (For instance, keep an eye out for a Daniel feature in LLOID in later chapters!!)

The bottom tiers I'm leaning more towards a no for anything...they just don't interest me to write about and/or I'm not emotionally attached to them enough to want to write about them.

If you send an idea and it happens to be for someone I'm not vibing with; I will never be mad so don't think i'll anal about this list lmao. Don't allow this list to make you afraid of submitting anything!!

However, currently, I do have a LOT of wips and ideas coming so I'm not really accepting brand NEW ideas but if you like one of my universes and want a little blub on how one of the other drivers tie into that universe then go ahead and submit! (i.e. a Lestappen blurb from LLOID universe to focus on them outside of the main George/OC plot? 👀)

[lqvesoph]

Right person, wrong time || LN4

lando norris x childhood sweetheart/ex gf!reader

summary: lando and reader haven’t seen each other since their break up 6 years ago, now at a grand prix where her current boyfriend is invited, they meet again

kind of like the "in a room full of people i know who i would run to but i also know who i would stare at the whole time"

masterlist | taglist

You really did hope you wouldn’t run into him today…

But standing opposite of the Mclaren hospitality and inside your boyfriend’s arm, you knew it was a lie. Because who are you kidding? The whole time you have been inside the paddock you looked around you, almost waiting to catch a glimpse of the curly headed McLaren driver.

But now you locked eyes with him from opposite of his teams home and all the emotions dared to come up.

Lando shook his head as if to escape the trance the eye contact with you had put him in and turned around, walking hastily back into the hospitality.

"Right, baby?", you heard your boyfriend Theo smile and felt his hand squeeze your hip. You tore your eyes away from the orange building and put a fake smile on your face. "You never were really into motor racing growing up? That was until you met me", Theo repeated, helping you with the conversation.

"Oh, yes totally! My dad is a huge fan but I rarely watched", you lied. "Of Mercedes, I hope", Toto Wolff joked, making you chuckle. "In fact, he is."

*~*~*~*~*~*

The sight of Lando didn’t leave your thoughts for the rest of the day.

He looked so much different. So much taller, broader and older.

Theo was off with a few team members showing him this years car while you stood back a little.

"Y/n, is that you?", an all too familiar voice asked behind you, making you turn around. "I thought it was you", George Russell smiled, opening his arms to give you a hug. "It’s been ages! I haven’t seen you since you and Lando-", George started talking but let his words trail at the end.

"Anyways, how are you? What have you been up to?", he quickly put a smile back on his face. "I‘m good, thank you! I just finished university", you told him. "Interior Design still?", George smirked, remembering what you had told him over six years ago. You chuckled and nodded. "Yes, Interior Design."

George had always been one of you best mates when you and Lando were together, you just clicked. But when Lando and you called it quits, you disappeared from the paddock, cutting off everyone and everything that reminded you of Lando.

You even stopped watching Formula 1. You tried to but when they showed a nervous small Lando before his first race in Australia, you started bawling your eyes out at the feeling of missing him.

You thought now, six years later, the memories and scars would have faded at least a little while, which is why you agreed to join your boyfriend when he was invited by Mercedes. But now being here, back in the paddock, the wounds still felt as fresh as on the first day.

"Darling, you have to see this!", Theo called, a huge smile on his face. George and you turned around. A frown creeping its way on George‘s face as he connected the dots, figuring out that the guy that had called you must be your boyfriend.

"Coming!", you called, giving George a smile and hurrying over to your boyfriend.

Seeing George reminded you of Lando and of memories you tried so hard to push away.

*~*~*~*~*~*

After Theo had excitedly explained to you the different parts of a Formula 1 car to you, you told him you need to get some fresh air and would be back in a few minutes.

Theo didn’t know about your past in this world, including Lando. You knew every little part of that damn car, you even sat in one when Lando tested the McLaren cars the year before he debuted in Formula 1.

You quickly walked down the paddock, breathing heavily at the thought of all those memories until someone called your name, making you stop in your tracks.

You closed your eyes until you felt a hand on your shoulder, sending sparks through your whole body.

"I can’t believe it’s really you", Lando whispered as you turned around.

Being this close, you could even see the dark stubbles on his chin, smiling at the memory of 17 year old Lando complaining about not being able to grow a beard.

"Hi", you breathed, not quite knowing how to act. Lando chuckled. "Hi."

"Uh- what… what brings you into the paddock?", he then asked, nervously fiddling with his fingers, a habit that he hasn’t broken in all those years.

"I‘m here with my boyfriend", you said, watching as hurt flashed before Lando‘s eyes and a frown sneaked on his face.

"Oh", he simply said, trying to play down the hurt he felt. "That‘s- uh great."

"You wanna come to the hospitality?", Lando changed the topic. And against your better judgment and your head screaming at you not to say yes, you nodded, making a relieved smile make its way on Lando’s face.

You tried to ignore the glance the two of you got when you walked passed the McLaren team members and up to Lando‘s driver room.

You hesitantly looked around the small room as Lando closed the door.

"So, what have you been up to?", he broke the silence, making you move your attention to the curly headed boy. "I- uh just finished university and we‘re moving to Spain this fall", you told him, still avoiding his eyes.

"Spain, huh? Where in Spain?", Lando continued, ignoring the 'we'. "Madrid." Your reply made Lando frown. "Why not Barcelona? You love Barcelona!"

"Well, Theo liked Madrid quite a lot so…", you said, making Lando huff. But you ignored it.

"How have you been?", you asked. "Good, uh, yeah. The car‘s pretty good and the team is just amazing", he smiled, but you could tell it was forced. "That‘s great!", you said, wondering why you even agreed to come to talk to him. In private. In a closed room. In his driver room.

A rather awkward silence settled over you until Lando broke it once again. "What happened to us?", he carefully whispered which made you close your eyes. You assumed this conversation would eventually lead to this point.

"We grew up, Lando", you replied quietly. "But why didn’t we grew up together?", he asked, looking directly at you. "We didn’t want the same thing anymore or more like we couldn’t have the same thing anymore", you said, still not looking at Lando.

You never had a proper conversation about what led to your break up. Maybe it was because you were too young and the pain of it overshadowed all the logical thoughts on how to handle it.

"I, for my part, was so happy for you. I knew this was all you dreamed of. But somewhere between summer and winter of 2018 we started to drift apart. You were busy and away quite a lot, and I‘m not entirely blaming you for that, I also didn’t really put in an effort and for that I’m sorry", you spoke softly, thinking back on your teen years.

"I‘m so sorry, darling. I should’ve made more of an effort, to visit home more often or to at least call", Lando apologized, fiddling with his fingers. "Me too, Lando, me too", you mumbled, feeling the tears forming in the corner of your eyes.

"You were the person who taught me everything. Taught me how to ride a bike, how to have fun and most importantly how to love. But Lando we were kids, merely 18 years old. We both weren’t mature enough to actually hold that relationship. Hell, we weren’t even mature enough to talk about our break up", you spoke, your eyes on the verges of tears.

"But what about now?", Lando asked hopeful and reached for one of your hands, wrapping it in his.

You let out a painful laugh. "I‘m in a relationship and I love Theo, so much", you muttered. "Then why are you still in here with me?", Lando posed the question that you had asked yourself already, not daring to give yourself and answer.

"Because… a part of me will always love you. But sometimes that just isn’t enough", you whispered, pulling your hand away from Lando‘s and standing up.

Walking back to your boyfriend, all you could think about was the conversation you just had and if you had made the right decision.

You forced a half smile when Theo spotted you and opened his arms. "Where have you been, the race is almost starting", he smiled, pressing a kiss to your temple.

"You know just wandering around, discovering the paddock", you lied, settling in your boyfriends’ arms and focusing your attention on the TV.

But without meaning to, your eyes immediately searched for Lando during the national anthem, your heart beating slightly faster when they showed the line up and even more when he overtook Max Verstappen to take the race lead after the first corner.

Still, you stood in Theo‘s arms till the end of the race, watching Lando up on the podium from afar.

masterlist | taglist

@im-an-overthinker @buendiabebeta @hungryhungariann @ohthemisssery @kenopsiababe @sawendel @enjoymyloves @ricsaigaslec @ravenqueen27 @temqr1 @leclerc16s @theamazingsimplethings-blog @coldmuffinbanditshoe @hotchnisscm97 @andtheworldiscrashingdownonme @moneymasnn @justme2042 @amulhermaisfelizdomundo @pleasantducktimetravel @anthonykatebridgerton @lisannehus @hannahholland1811 @lighttsoutlewis @mydutchproblem @dan3avocado @alwaysclassyeagle @cocomiracle @allthisfortommy @soleilgrec @cheeryara-blog @person2345-blog @aquamariene-me @judespoision @sbgal @teti-menchon0604 @darleneslane @flower-name @mehrmonga @paolexsstuff @paolexsstuff @kiskso

[dark-fics-4-you]

step bro rafe who plays football or hockey. idk it just seems hot🙏

Number One Fan

I’m gonna combine this with this request: Something with step bro rafe where the reader calls him rafey and it turns him on but she doesn’t know…

(This can be read as a continuation of my previous step bro!Rafe fic, but i’m not sure if I want to make a bunch of drabbles or one connected narrative so we’ll see what happpens ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )

Next chapter

Warnings: drinking, relationship between step siblings, rafe is having unpure thoughts👀

The stadium was packed with college students and fans, roaring as the whistle blew.

You were close to the field, eager to get a good view of Rafe. He was the star quarterback of East Carolina University, and for good reason.

He had led the team to victory in all 10 of their last games.

The score was evened out, with only a few seconds left on the clock, everyone was eager to see what would happen next.

When the whistle blew again and the ball was passed to Rafe, you cheered loudly.

He dodged two players, dancing around them before running all the way to the endzone.

Everyone on the crowded bleachers jumped to their feet, cheering and screaming at the touchdown, but no one was louder than you.

“Go Rafe! Go!! Woo!!!”

You beamed proudly as you watched him pump his fist in the air, fist bumping his teammates as they congratulated him.

You were one of the first people to rush to the field, running up to your older brother and practically jumping on him in your excitement to hug him.

“Oh my god, Rafey! That was such a good game!” You squealed. “You were awesome! That last touchdown was amazing!”

Rafe flashed you a grin, perfect teeth winking in under the bright lights of the stadium. “Thanks, Y/N/N. You know I win every game just for you,” he joked and you giggled along.

“Hey, some of my teammates and I are gonna go out for drinks after we get cleaned up, wanna tag along?”

“Sure!” You smiled up at him. You were always happy when he included you in things he was doing, which admittedly was a lot of the time.

“Perfect, sugar. Here are my keys,” he tossed you them. “Why don’t you bring the truck around to where the locker room exit is, you can wait in there till I’m done. Okay?”

“Yeah! Sounds good!” You parted ways, heading to the truck but you didn’t notice how his gaze stayed on your back as you walked away.

~~~~~~

“That’s a pretty hot piece of ass you had hanging around you, Cameron,” one of Rafe’s friends joked, suggestively nudging the blond with his elbow.

“Shut up, Wilson,” Rafe snapped. His stomach lurched at the comment. He didn’t like the idea of any of his friends trying to sleep with you.

In fact, he didn’t like the idea of anyone trying to sleep with you. The very thought made him sick.

“Hey, I’m just saying, I wouldn’t mind if she came around more, amiright?” Wilson asked the other guys around him that had seen you and they all laughed and nodded.

“Knock it off, seriously,” Rafe warned. “She’s not interested.” He could feel his irritation rising, his face heating up.

“Damn okay Cameron, chill. We were just joking,” someone else interjected.

“Well I’m not fucking laughing.” He pulled on his shirt before slamming the locker door. “I don’t think I’m gonna go out tonight anymore. See ya at practice.”

A few guys complained, “come on Rafe, we didn’t mean anything by it.”

But he was already halfway out the door.

~~~~~~

“Change of plans,” Rafe said as he climbed into the driver’s seat and you clicked your buckle.

You looked at him inquisitively. “Oh?”

“We’re gonna go out, just the two of us. None of the guys.” He started the truck, pulling out of the parking lot and towards the road.

“Oh, okay.” You said in a confused tone. “Why are they not coming?”

He was silent for a moment and you glanced at him again.

“Rafey?”

“I just decided that I’d rather go out with my favorite girl instead,” he said with a smile, ruffling your hair and you grinned.

“Oh, okay!” You said happily. “Ooh could we go to this bar that I know, it’s on Seventh street.” You babbled away about the bar you wanted to go to.

Rafe shifted in his seat, trying as hard as possible to hide his growing erection, nodding along but he was finding it hard to pay attention to anything you were saying, attention shifting between watching the road, and turning to examine your features.

He pulled up to the bar and you hopped out of the car. You both showed your ID’s at the door and found a booth to sit at, Rafe pulling you in to the same side he was on so you could be closer.

A waiter came to get your drink orders, you got a fruity cocktail and Rafe got a beer, and Rafe ordered a plate of loaded nachos for you to share.

Your drinks came quickly and you offered Rafe a sip of your cocktail, which he took before offering you a sip of his beer.

You took a quick swig, face scrunching up at the flavor. “Bleh, I still have no idea how you like beer so much, Rafey!” You giggled, leaning against him in the small booth, his arm wrapped around your waist.

“You get used to it if you drink enough, Y/N/N.” The blond laughed, grabbing a nacho off of the plate in between the two of you.

“I just think it’s so gross,” you shook your head, smiling.

“Please, you’re one to talk. I still remember that time you tried to make mixed drinks for us at that party and they sucked so bad I nearly threw up.” He chuckled.

“Shut up! I got better afterwards!” You laughed hard at the memory. “So mean, Rafey,” you said with a fake pout.

“Not true, I’m always nice to you, Y/N/N,” Rafe sounded surprisingly earnest. “You know I would do anything for you.”

“I know, I know,” you finished your cocktail, catching the waiter’s eye before ordering a second.

You leaned back, melting into your step brother’s arms.

“You’re my favorite person in the whole world,” Rafe whispered quietly. “You know that, right?”

There was a strange moment when you met his eyes, odd feelings washed over you. The intensity in his look stirred something in you that you couldn’t identify.

“Yeah I know, Rafey. You’re my favorite person too.”

He smiled at that, pulling you closer to his warm body. You cuddled against his chest, enjoying the circles he was tracing lazily into your back with his fingers.

Your second drink arrived and you downed it quickly, feeling a little beyond tipsy by the time the two of you stepped out of the bar.

He drove you home, comfortable silence most of the way. You felt warm and the alcohol in your system made you feel much more affectionate.

Rafe opened the front door of the house for you, allowing you to lean on him drunkenly as he guided you inside.

When you reached the top of the stairs, you paused, not wanting to go to bed alone.

“Would it be okay if I slept in your bed tonight, Rafey?” You asked, looking up at your step brother with hopeful eyes. “I just feel more comfortable when you’re by me.”

“Sure, Y/N/N.” Rafe smiled at you, leading you to his room.

You kicked off your shoes, taking your shorts off before dropping them on the floor. “Do you have a shirt I could wear, Rafey?”

His eyes fell on you, noting your bare legs and the pink panties you had under your shorts. His mouth felt dry, and it took him a second to remember you had just asked him a question.

“Um, yeah I should have one…” he searched in a drawer, before tossing you the oversized shirt.

You pulled it on, unclipping your bra underneath the shirt before putting it with your shorts and top.

Rafe kicked off his shorts, stripping to his boxers before pulling his shirt off over his head. He stepped towards his door, flicking the lights off.

You crawled into his bed, breathing in his smell in the sheets, scooting over when he followed.

Usually when you slept in Rafe’s bed, you were the one who pressed to him, hugging his back as he faced away from you, but this time, you were surprised when you felt the warmth of his chest press to your back, arms wrapping around your waist as he pulled you closer to him.

As you dozed off to sleep, you were none the wiser that your step brother was beside you, hard as a rock, and imagining things that were far from brotherly.

Chapter 2

[fanfictionismyaddiction]

The F1 Princess

Word count: 1.6k

Summary: You are a university student and social media influencer passionate about Formula 1. Through your childhood best friend Alex, who aims to be a team principal, you become close with drivers and team principals

Warnings: non I think all fluff

Again lets all say thank you to xoxo_lilyy.

My inbox is open for more Toto.

Part 2: The Breaking Point

One Shot Masterlist

______________________________________________________________

Your passion for Formula 1 started back in high school, fueled by watching races on TV with your family. Now, in your early twenties and studying abroad in a foreign country, you found yourself saving every penny to attend races with your friends. It wasn’t just the thrill of the race that attracted you; it was the entire atmosphere, the elegance, the style, and the sheer excitement of being in the paddock.

Your social media presence, where you shared glamorous photos of yourself at the races, quickly gained attention. You weren’t just a university student anymore; you were an influencer in the F1 world. Engineers, fans, and even team principals noticed you. Your beauty and style were unmatched, making heads turn wherever you went.

Your childhood best friend, Alex, had just graduated from university and was pursuing a career in Formula 1, aiming to become a team principal. He invited you to the races, introducing you to drivers and team principals. You quickly became close with many of them, including the legendary Stefano Domenicali and, most notably, Toto Wolff.

It was Toto who seemed to be the most captivated by you. The two of you were often seen together, leading to countless rumors about a potential romance. You laughed them off, but the F1 community was abuzz with speculation.

One race weekend, you decided to wear a white Mercedes shirt. Toto couldn’t stop smiling as he saw you in his team's colors. You spent the entire race in his garage, and cameras caught moments of him adjusting your headphones and the two of you sharing knowing glances. Toto even let you sit near him, an honor not afforded to many.

Your bond with Toto grew stronger. He allowed you to do things he wouldn't let anyone else do, like when it was the Friday of the Hungarian Grand Prix weekend, and the paddock was buzzing with anticipation. You were in the Mercedes hospitality area, getting ready for a special day. Toto had given you unprecedented access to the team's inner sanctum, and today was one of those days where your bond would shine through in unexpected ways.

You found Toto in his office, looking over some data on his laptop. He glanced up and smiled as you walked in.

"Hey, Toto," you said, closing the door behind you. "Busy as always, I see."

He chuckled. "There's always something to look over. But I'm never too busy for you."

You took a seat beside him, your eyes glinting with mischief. "I brought something for you."

Toto raised an eyebrow, intrigued. "Oh? And what might that be?"

You pulled out a small box from your bag, revealing a collection of colorful hair ribbons. "I thought you could use a bit of fun today. Let me tie these in your hair."

Toto laughed, shaking his head. "You and your ideas. Alright, just this once."

As you began to tie the ribbons into his hair, making small, playful braids, Toto sat patiently, a small smile on his face. No one else in the paddock would even think of doing something like this, but with you, Toto felt comfortable and at ease.

Just then, Lewis Hamilton walked in, stopping short at the sight before him. He burst into laughter. "Toto, mate, what have you gotten yourself into?"

Toto rolled his eyes good-naturedly. "It’s all her fault," he said, pointing at you.

You grinned. "He secretly loves it, don't let him fool you."

George Russell joined in, leaning against the doorframe. "I never thought I'd see the day. Can I get a photo of this?"

Toto sighed dramatically. "Fine, go ahead. But no posting it online."

George snapped a few pictures, still chuckling. "Don't worry, Toto. This one’s just for the team."

Later that day, as you both walked through the paddock, the drivers continued to tease Toto about his new look. Charles Leclerc and Lando Norris were the first to comment.

"Nice ribbons, Toto. Did (Y/N) do that?" Charles asked, barely containing his laughter.

"She did," Toto admitted, smiling. "And no, you can't have her do it for you."

Lando grinned. "Oh, come on, Toto. Just think how stylish we'd all look."

Toto shot them a mock warning look. "Don't test me, boys.” 

As the laughter continued, you felt a warmth in your heart. These moments, these small, playful interactions, were what made your relationship with Toto so special. He allowed you into his world in ways no one else could, and it was clear to everyone that the bond you shared was truly unique.

That evening, as you sat next to Toto during the team principals' dinner, you couldn't help but feel grateful for the incredible journey you were on. Toto raised his glass to you, and with a knowing smile, you returned the toast, celebrating not just the race weekend but the unbreakable friendship and the special moments that defined your place in the Formula 1 world.

Dinner with team principals and drivers became a regular occurrence for you. You were always at Toto's side, and as the night went on and you got tipsier, he would handle your drunk antics with a gentle, protective demeanor. Everyone could see the special bond between you two, and it only fueled the rumors of a romantic relationship.

The sun was setting on the Monaco Grand Prix weekend, and the paddock was buzzing with excitement. You were in the Mercedes hospitality area, chatting with Lewis Hamilton.

"You know, (Y/N), every time I see you, you're always in the middle of some fun adventure," Lewis said, his eyes twinkling. "How do you manage to stay so stylish in this chaotic world?"

You laughed, flipping your hair playfully. "It's all about balance, Lewis. And having a great team behind me, just like you do."

George Russell joined the conversation, a mischievous grin on his face. "Speaking of balance, did you see the photos I posted? You and Toto on the yacht – it’s already gone viral."

You blushed slightly. "I did see that. Thanks for capturing my good side, George."

Toto walked over, hearing the tail end of the conversation. "George, you and your photos. Always stirring up trouble," he said with a mock stern look. Then he turned to you, his expression softening. "Ready for another exciting race?”

"Always, Toto," you replied, smiling up at him.

As you stood there, chatting with the drivers, Lando Norris and Max Verstappen approached with playful smirks.

"So, Toto," Lando began, "when are you going to admit that you and (Y/N) are more than just friends?"

Toto rolled his eyes, trying to hide his blush. "We are just friends, Lando. Nothing more."

You laughed, shaking your head. "Alright, boys, I need to go check on Alex. I'll catch up with you later."

You waved goodbye, leaving the group and heading toward the Red Bull hospitality area. Once you were out of earshot, the drivers turned back to Toto with knowing looks.

"Come on, Toto," Max said, crossing his arms. "We all see how you look at her."

Toto sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I know what you're all thinking, but I can't ruin our friendship. She's too important to me."

Lewis Hamilton joined the group, catching the last part of the conversation. "You mean you're too scared to ask her out," he teased, giving Toto a friendly nudge.

Toto shot him a playful glare. "It's not about being scared. It's about respecting what we have."

George Russell chimed in, grinning. "Respecting what you have? Or are you just worried she might say no?"

"Or maybe you're afraid she'll say yes," Charles Leclerc added, laughing.

Toto shook his head, though a small smile played on his lips. "You lot have too much time on your hands. But no, it's not about fear. I just don't want to risk losing her as a friend."

Lando nodded, a bit more serious now. "We get it, Toto. But sometimes, the best relationships start from strong friendships. Just something to think about."

Toto looked thoughtful for a moment before shrugging. "Maybe. But for now, I'm happy with how things are."

Max smirked. "Sure, sure. Just don't be surprised if someone else catches her eye first."

Toto's eyes narrowed slightly. "Don't even joke about that."

The group laughed, sensing the protective tone in Toto's voice. It was clear to everyone that he had deep feelings for you, even if he wasn't ready to admit it to himself just yet. The teasing continued, but underneath it all was genuine care and understanding for their friend and team principal.

As you rejoined the group later, you could sense the camaraderie and the special bond you shared with Toto. Whether as friends or something more, you knew that your place in the F1 world was exactly where you were meant to be.

The next race was in Silverstone, and you were once again in the paddock, this time wearing a custom-made Mercedes jacket with your name embroidered on it. As you walked through the paddock, you could feel the stares and hear the whispers.

"Is that (Y/N)? She looks amazing," one engineer said to another.

You waved at them, feeling the warmth of their admiration. You spotted Alex talking to Christian Horner and decided to join them.

"Hey, Alex! Christian," you greeted.

Christian smiled. "Well, if it isn't the F1 Princess. How do you like the Silverstone weather?"

"It's perfect. Much better than last year's rain," you replied.

Alex chuckled. "She's right. Last year was a mess."

Later that evening, at the team principals' dinner, you found yourself seated next to Toto again. The atmosphere was relaxed, filled with laughter and light conversation.

"So, (Y/N), what's your secret to handling all this attention?" Stefano asked from across the table.

You shrugged, glancing at Toto. "Just being myself, I guess. And having great friends who support me."

Toto raised his glass. "To (Y/N), the heart of the paddock."

Everyone echoed the toast, and you felt a surge of gratitude. This world had become your second home, and the people in it were like family.

[porcelana-r0ta]

The Curse of Sight, Part 7

DCxDP

[Part 6] [Part 7] [Part 8]

[Ao3 Link] (Registered Ao3 users only)

Summary: When Wes Weston meets Tim Drake-Wayne, the dots start connecting. And those dots form a bat.

xxXxx

After a phone call with his mom to confirm that it’s alright for Wes to stay the night, Rebecca leaves with the AV equipment in a Wayne vehicle with a WE driver from HQ. (She also absconds off with a few extra Alfred Pennyworth cookies, but no one calls her out on it.) Wes is then left alone with Tim for a grand tour of Wayne Manor. 

The estate is large and sprawling, but Wes is nothing if not observant and adaptive, and he makes quick work of memorizing the layout. He’s careful to make mental notes of places that could potentially hold secret passages. 

Part of Batman’s whole thing was that he had a Batcave, right? Surely it’s connected to the Manor. The entrance is most likely on the first floor for easier access if the Cave is underground, which is the most logical conclusion given that the Batcave has to hold a computer with enough processing power to be the legendary Batcomputer, all the Bat-vehicles, plus any trophies Batman has collected in his lucrative career as a vigilante. Also, if it’s as much of a cave as the name implies, it’s got to be underground. 

Not that Wes wants to go exploring. This investigation is just so he can mentally note what areas to avoid and always have plausible deniability. 

“Oh, no, Mr. Bruce Wayne, sir, I didn’t see you come out of a bookcase secret passageway with bruises that strangely match up with Batman’s. You see, I was over on the bench in the Wayne Gardens, much too far away from the Wayne Library to see any secret nightlife activities. I’m just a simple teenage boy, haha, please don’t steal my kneecaps. Anyway, what did you think of My Immortal? ”

Yes. Foolproof and non-suspicious, two of Wes’s favorite things in Gotham. He even deflects into the Brucie Wayne persona in this imaginary scenario.

God. This is too stressful. Wes knows too many people with alter egos. He needs normal friends—he can’t keep being the normal friend for abnormal people. Maybe he should start going to the community center in his mom’s neighborhood and meet normal teens with normal Gotham interests. (Wes imagines the normal Gotham teen experience to be the universal vaping and smoking, plus minor vandalism and maybe even some pickpocketing in the Diamond District. He’d sidestep any vigilante-chasers or gangsters, naturally. He’s got to avoid the Bats!)

Of the first floor, there are the following rooms: the kitchen, the dining room, the living room, the parlor, the drawing room, Mr. Wayne’s office, the game room, the theater room, the servants’ quarters, the bathrooms, and the garage.

The kitchen likely has too much foot traffic to keep a secret entrance, plus Mr. Pennyworth seems too proper to let Bat-hijinks take place anywhere near his domain. The foot traffic would remain an issue for rooms like the living room, the drawing room, and the parlor. The theater and game rooms may be an option — both had bookshelves to hold board games, video games, DVDs, and VHS tapes, and bookshelves are classic rich people hiding places. The library is another potential place, even if it’s rather stereotypical. But maybe he should expect stereotypes from the same people with a cow named Bat-Cow? 

The servants’ quarters, only occupied by Mr. Pennyworth and not included in the tour, would be an unexpected place. It may be too far out of the way, though. The bathrooms could be an option: no one is going to interrogate someone for spending too long in a bathroom. But some people are nosy about what others keep in their bathrooms, and someone as paranoid as Batman would account for that. The garage is likely too much of a security liability given that it’s right there along the driveway for an easy getaway. 

That just leaves Bruce Wayne’s office, where it wouldn’t be weird for a CEO to disappear into for hours at a time, nor would it be weird for it to be off-limits for people to be in. Wes was only shown where the room was, not the inside. It’s totally normal to not be brought into your friend’s dad’s office. So normal, in fact, that Wes wouldn’t have even questioned it if he didn’t already know that the Waynes were the Bats. 

So, avoid Bruce Wayne’s study. Not a problem for Wes because he has zero reason to go in there in the first place. This sleepover thing will be a piece of cake. 

Right now they were in the game room, playing Mario Kart 8 on the Switch. The Waynes were wealthy enough that both Tim and Wes had a pro-controller. (Eat the rich!) Right now, Wes was beating Tim by a decent margin as Luigi, but he’s not sure how much of that is Tim letting him win. He’s only played Mario Kart a few times, and never on the Switch, so he’s not really world champ. It’s nice of Tim to fake being bad, though. 

“Damn, you win again,” Tim says, watching Luigi pass the finish line, followed by his avatar, Princess Peach, seconds after. 

“‘Cause you’re going easy on me.”

“What? No I’m not.” 

“You liar.” One of the best ways to lie is to pretend to be a bad liar. Make a few sacrifices with your integrity and no one will question you when you lie well about something that actually matters. His parents taught him that. “Play better this next round.”

“Are you trash talking me?” Tim is playfully offended. 

Wes scoffs, grabbing one of the sofa cushions and setting it against the armrest. He buries himself into it, swinging his legs onto the couch. He’s just barely tall enough to shove his socked feet into Tim’s ribs where he’s sitting. “Am not. I just know that you’re a little tech nerd, and that you can totally kick my ass. No way you haven’t obsessively played Mario Kart.” 

“First of all, I resent that.” He shoves Wes’s feet away. His ears are red. Still cooling down from outside? They weren’t so red a little bit ago. “Second of all, fine. Let’s do Rainbow Road.”

“Sweet, a challenge!” 

Tim selects the Special Cup, and Wes does semi-decently in the first three courses, though Tim only barely holds onto first. The last course is Rainbow Road, and Wes proceeds to fall off the track every thirty seconds. He crosses the finish line in a very humble tenth place. Tim, impossibly, does worse than he has in previous rounds, ending in fourth place rather than the calculated second to spare Wes’s pride of their previous Cups. 

“Hmm. That was humiliating.”

They both turn to look at the doorway, where Damian Wayne lurks, holding Alfred the Cat. 

“Don’t be rude, Demon Spawn.” Tim scowls. Wes stretches his feet out to nudge at Tim admonishingly. 

“Dude, c’mon. He’s right. That was bad.” 

“Weston is correct, Drake. And besides, I was talking about you.”

“Okay, that’s it—” Whatever Tim is about to say is cut off when Wes kicks him, harder than a nudge, but not enough to hurt for longer than a few seconds. “Wes! What the hell?”

He ignores Tim, “Did you want to play, Damian?” He gestures at the TV with his controller. 

The boy straightens up, and the movement makes Alfred the Cat wriggle free of his hold. She darts into the room, behind the sectional couch and out of sight. “Don’t be ridiculous. I am merely here to relay Pennyworth’s message that supper will be ready in thirty minutes.” 

“Oh, so you’re scared that you will do worse than me?” He raises a challenging eyebrow. 

“Tt. I could defeat you and Drake blindfolded.” 

“Prove it.”

Wordlessly, Damian marches into the room and swipes the controller from Wes. He laughs, kicking his feet off the couch and getting up to grab a third controller. When he turns back to the couch, Damian is already sitting beside his big brother, his back straight and his face neutral. He turns on the controller and joins them on the couch, leaving enough room for Damian to not feel crowded with a stranger. 

The kid reminds him of some of the more minor-league ghosts who like to annoy Danny for attention. Ghosts like fighting, they like arguing. Siblings shared in that trait, usually. 

Tim grumbles and switches to three person multiplayer, then asks, “What tracks do you want to play?”

“The same one you and Weston were on. I will defeat you both.” 

“Well, definitely me,” Wes says. Damian only sniffs in response. 

They speed through character selection, Wes keeping Luigi and Tim keeping Peach, and Damian chooses Shy Guy. After choosing their vehicles (Wes is the only one who chooses a cart instead of a motorcycle), they start the Special Cup. 

They quickly discover that Damian is a ruthless competitor. Wes lets out a frustrated groan at the third green shell that hits him, whereas Tim curses at his little brother. “How are you so fucking good? I thought video games were beneath you!”

“Jon has a Switch. He likes Mario Kart and Minecraft.”

“Of fucking course he does.”  

Wes wonders who this “Jon” person is. A civilian friend? A fellow superhero? He hates knowing superhero identities, but his mind runs theories anyway. 

Damian continues to win against them, and when that gets boring, he purposely keeps a middle-pace so he can collect shells. His aim is unfortunately impeccable. After twenty minutes of losing to his little brother, Tim calls it quits. “Okay, that’s it. We need to wash up for dinner before Alfred gets mad.” 

“Scared to continue losing, Drake?”

“Hardly. Go wash your hands, brat. You were holding the cat earlier.”

“She’s cleaner than you,” Damian insults. Then, before Tim can retort, he bounds out of the room. 

Tim turns to Wes, “Dude, seriously?”

“What? He obviously wanted to hang out with you.” 

“No he didn’t! He’s Damian. He wanted to spy on me and you so he can insult us better later when you aren’t around.” 

“Mh-hm.” Wes is doubtful. “I don’t know about that. He acts like how I did when I was in middle school and wanted to hang out with my older cousin.”

“It warms my heart that you’re capable of seeing the good in evil.”

“You don’t mean that, dude.”

Tim smiles, “I guess not.” 

After washing up themselves, they head downstairs for the dining room. They are greeted by the savory scent of steak. Wes’s mouth waters. Real rich people food. 

Bruce Wayne (Batman!) is already seated at the head of the table, Damian to his right. Tim grabs Wes’s hand and pulls him to sit on the other side, with Tim acting as a buffer between him and Bruce Wayne. 

“B, this is Wes Weston, my friend. He works in PR, specifically with our TikTok team.” There is no TikTok team, unless Wes and Rebecca count as a team. What is she supposed to do when he goes back to Amity with his dad at the end of the summer? “Wes, this is Bruce, my adoptive dad.” 

Well, only after the whole fake uncle thing, Wes thinks to himself. But he isn’t supposed to know about that. “It’s nice to meet you, sir.”

“Please, call me Bruce when we aren’t at work, Wes.” Bruce Wayne grins that Brucie grin, big and disarming. I’m onto you, Batman. You can’t fool me. “It’s great to see Tim with friends his age. I had a lot of concern after he dropped out of high school, you know, but—”

“Bruce, please. Stop embarrassing me!”

“I’m just expressing my love for my son, Tim.” He turns to Damian, “Don’t follow your other brothers’ examples. Stay in school.” 

“Of course, Father,” Damian says while Wes snorts. 

The Waynes are really zero to nil on children who have high school diplomas. Dick Grayson ran off (or was run off?) at age sixteen, Jason Todd was declared dead (though Wes suspects that maybe he really did die—is there a way to get Danny and Co. to look into that without spilling identities?), and Tim dropped out and created an uncle after his parents passed so he could become a full-time CEO and vigilante (Wes should sit down with Tim and talk about good coping mechanisms, and also never admit to knowing about the fake uncle or the vigilante activities). Hell, even Bruce Wayne is a medical school dropout!

They still at least had Damian Wayne and Duke Thomas, Wes supposes. Maybe they can be the Wayne kids who finally walk at graduation. 

As if on cue, Duke Thomas trudges into the room, clearly tired from daytime patrol as The Signal. Though, Wes is likely supposed to believe that Duke is out doing volunteer work or something of the like. 

“Hey, guys. New person.” Duke squints at Wes, then rubs his eyes. A pair of tinted glasses hang on the collar of his yellow shirt. He grabs them and puts them on.

“Hello, Thomas.”

“Hey, Duke.”

“Welcome back, Duke! Have you met Wes yet? Are your headaches acting up again?” 

“Nope,” says Duke, taking his seat next to Damian. “Nice to meet you. I’m Duke. And my head’s fine.”

“Nice to meet you, too.”

“Is Dick still here?” Duke asks. 

Bruce shakes his head, “He had to leave to make it back to Bludhaven so he’d be able to rest before his shift with the BPD tonight.” 

Wes translates that as He’s got Nightwing work tonight. But who knows? Maybe he really does have a night shift. 

“Ah, that sucks,” Duke says.

Alfred walks in pushing a cart of the mouth-watering steak, mashed potatoes, gravy, and roasted vegetables and starts to serve everyone.

Wes may have to sleep over more often. 

“Thanks, Alfred,” Wes says when his food is plated. 

“Of course, Master Wes.”

He wrinkles his nose at that, even though Alfred’s called him that a few times upon coming in for snacks after filming. Being called “master” makes him feel like some kind of egocentric wealthy elitist. 

“So, Wes,” Bruce Wayne, literally Batman, starts after everyone has been served. Wes straightens up tp better search for any signs of dinnertime kneecap removal. “You’re Penny’s son and that you intern at WE. How are you liking it so far?”

Normal dinnertime conversation. Excellent. Wes has been to dinners every evening of his life, so he should ace this. 

“It’s fun. I mean, I just did coffee runs and stuff at first, but it’s a lot more engaging now that Rebecca is running the TikTok and is using me as her Gen Z brain monkey.” 

“She’s not that much older than you.” Tim rolls his eyes. 

“The WE TikTok is doing very well,” Bruce compliments as if Tim hadn’t opened his mouth. “We should have started one much sooner.”

“I love the one you’re in. Wes, the one where you talk about the American public school experience,” Duke says, rubbing at his temple. Which is unhelpful because Wes directly made fun of Bruce Wayne in that one. “Sorry about the maybe trauma it inflicted.”

He winces, “I mean, it was fine. We were in a safe room the whole time. It genuinely was like the average American high school experience.” He cuts a concerned look at Bruce. The guy who literally can fire his mom and also rip out his kneecaps if he decides to take offense to something dumb Wes says. He just can’t help it—he’s an Amity Park teenager!

Bruce notices and laughs, “Now, now, none of that! I think it’s great that you raised awareness about school shootings. I’m very aware of my privilege, and I don’t have any hard feelings about it being called out.”

“That’s… good.” 

Tim nudges him from under the table with his foot. When Wes looks at him, he’s smiling. Wes’s stomach twists. It’s not an unpleasant feeling. 

Damian sniffs, “Well, nothing will compare to the appearances of Bat-Cow, Titus, Alfred the Cat, and Haley.”

“Everyone will love them,” Wes agrees. “People go crazy for animals.” 

“They would be wrong not to.”

“Wes, not to be rude, but are you from Gotham?” Duke asks. He squints from behind his tinted glasses. “You don’t have a Gothamite accent.”

“That’s not rude at all.” Wes racks his brain for reasons why the meta vigilante might look constipated whenever he looks at him. Is it an Amity Park thing? The Signal’s power set isn't 100% known—the only things confirmed by witness accounts are light and shadow manipulation. Is the electromagnetic radiation spectrum that Duke can see wider than a baseline human’s, thus allowing him to see more visible light? Can Duke see auras? Can he see ectoplasmic radiation? Can he see that radiation in Wes? 

He needs to be careful about what he says. “I’m from Amity Park, Illinois. So is my mom. But she and my dad divorced a few years ago and now I visit Gotham every other holiday and every summer.” 

“Oh damn, that sucks, dude.”

“Nah, it’s fine. They were super chill about it.” They had an amicable divorce. Wanted different things. His parents still text semi-regularly, and they will usually steal Wes’s phone for a few minutes when he’s talking to the other. They might still be together if his mom hadn’t wanted to move up in her career and his dad hadn’t been firm on staying in Amity, or if they’d both been okay with long distance. 

Still… it would be nice to be a complete family, again. Together and whole. Preferably in an Amity Park not infested with white suits or ectophobic ghost hunters. 

Ugh. He really needs to call his dad after work tomorrow. Maybe his cousin, too.

Dinner goes smoothly from there, and after, Tim drags Wes to the movie room to watch Lord of the Ring: Fellowship of the Ring before turning into bed. When the credits roll, he asks, “Are you cool with just staying in my room, or do you wanna stay in the guest room?”

Honestly, what kind of rich people shit is that question? (Ignoring that his mom owns a townhouse in Gotham City and is the director of Wayne Enterprises’s PR Department. He had humble beginnings!)

“Your room is fine,” Wes says. 

“You�� just wanna share the bed?” 

Wes had seen Tim’s bedroom in the tour already. He had a California king sized bed. Sleeping in a bed that size would be just the same as sleeping in separate sleeping bags on the floor in terms of intimacy. 

“Yeah, that’s fine, dude.” 

Fast forward to them actually in pajamas and actually under blankets and actually turning off their phones for the night, and Wes is learning that it’s actually not fine. 

He’s hyper-aware of Tim’s form beneath the blankets, the same blankets Wes is under. And sure, they are on separate ends of the bed, nearly three feet between them, but still. 

He’s slept in the same bed as a few friends before, but that had stopped around middle school, when it was suddenly gay for guys to do that. Wes is secure in his sexuality, sure, but he was still in a small Midwestern town at the time, so he hadn’t exactly wanted to do anything to confirm any queerness about him. 

Tim, on the other hand, has been publicly bisexual for a while now. And he wasn’t in the room with Wes when he’d gotten his fitting and made his request that his suit reflect his sexuality, so he didn’t know that Wes was any flavor of MLM. (He’d been too insecure about his lanky basketball player frame to let a superhero overhear his measurements.) 

Is it weird that Wes knows Tim’s sexuality but Tim doesn’t know his while they share a bed? Is it creepy? Is it wrong? Should Wes say something? Or would it be even creepier to come out while in Tim’s bed? Fuck, is it hot in here?

He kicks a leg out from under the covers, allowing it to be exposed to cool air. It’s completely dark in the room, but he stares at where his foot should be. Should he have worn socks to make it not gay? Is it gay at all? What even is “it” at this point, anyway?

He forces a deep breath. This is probably not weird. It probably would be weird if he did decide to come out while sharing a bed with his friend, who is a queer vigilante and his boss and could have his adoptive father rip out Wes’s spine if he so wished. 

Right. So Wes needs to chill the fuck out and think of literally anything else. 

His first thought is unfortunately that time he fell off the monkey bars in the first grade and landed on top of Paulina Sanchez, who had cried and hated him until sixth grade for it. 

Even worse, his second thought is of his parents’ divorce, and he wants to slap himself. But he can’t do that when there’s a maybe-sleeping-maybe-not body next to him, so instead he takes another deep, quiet breath.

He thinks of Duke Thomas and the way he squinted at Wes. Right, light and shadow manipulation. But to what extent? The way he reacted to Wes might suggest he can see more than a regular human’s visible light spectrum. (More colors, like a shrimp?) If he can see ecto-radiation, then he can see that there’s something off about Wes, who has lived in Amity since the portal’s opening nearly a year ago. The average Amity Parker has a little ecto-contamination in them, but Wes’s may be higher thanks to his stalking of Team Phantom. 

So Duke might know that he’s a little irradiated. Not a big deal, Amity’s a small town. There’s no reason to assume that Duke will meet other Amity Parkers and start to ask questions. 

But what would happen if the Guys In White decide to outsource help and they decide that someone who can see more forms of light would be beneficial to the cause? 

….Fuck. He was supposed to calm himself down, not work himself up.

Wes settles in for a long night. 

xxXxx

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Ao3 is updated first BUT I upload onto Tumblr 10-30 minutes after uploading on Ao3, so don’t worry about missing out on early content or anything. Everything is updated within the hour :)

[onlyonetifosi]

Behind the camera -> chapter 8

<- previous series masterlist my main masterlist next ->

author note1: more yn/joris fluff 🥹🥹 based on charles los angeles vlog here

The warm California sun welcomed Charles Leclerc and his entourage as they stepped off the plane at Los Angeles International Airport. The city's vibrant energy and palm-lined streets signaled the beginning of a much-needed break for the Formula 1 driver and his companions.

"Ah, Los Angeles! It's good to be here," Charles exclaimed, stretching his arms wide.

Andrea, Charles’ trainer, nodded in agreement. "Sì, Los Angeles è sempre bello. È il momento di divertirsi" ( Los Angeles is always beautifuI) (t's time to have fun)

Joris, Charles's best friend and Yn's boyfriend, grinned. "Time for some fun, my friends!"

As they settled into their luxurious villa, Charles couldn't help but feel a sense of excitement. "This is exactly what I needed, guys. A break from the racing world and some time to unwind," he said, a genuine smile on his face.

The group, which included Charles, Andrea, Joris, Charles's girlfriend Alexandra, Riccardo, and his wife Marta, as well as Antoine, Charles's photographer and videographer, headed to their hotel to drop off their bags. Charles couldn't help but glance at Yn, his twin sister, who was engaged in lively conversation with Alex.

"Hey, Yn, ready for some LA adventures?" Charles teased, a mischievous smile playing on his lips.

Yn rolled her eyes. "Always ready, Charles. As long as you don't embarrass me too much, big brother"

The group's first activity was a friendly basketball game at a nearby court. Charles, not known for his basketball skills, tried his best to dribble and shoot hoops.

"Mon dieu, Charles, maybe stick to racing, tu es vraiment nul au basket!" Yn teased him, earning a laugh from the others.

Alexandra chuckled, also teasing him, "Yea, mon cher, maybe stick to the racetrack. Your skills on the court are... how do you say... not impressive."

Charles smirked, replying in kind, "Eh bien, at least I'm a world-class driver, not a basketball player. And Yn you think you’re very funny, Yn. Let's see you try" Charles replied, passing the ball to her.

After a few failed attempts, Yn admitted defeat. "Okay, maybe basketball is not my forte either, it's a twins thing"

The group decided to cool off with some ice cream, sharing laughs and stories. Charles couldn't help but admire the way Joris and Yn interacted—the subtle glances, the shared jokes. It was a reminder of the strong bond they all shared.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The following day, the group rented bikes and explored the iconic Venice Beach boardwalk. Charles and Alex shared a tandem e-scooter, while Yn sat on Joris's lap and with Andrea on another.

"Vous avez l'air tellement mignons ensemble!" Alexandra grinned. (You two look so cute together!)

Yn couldn't help but giggle as Joris wrapped his arms around her waist. "Looks like you guys are having fun," Charles shouted from behind them, causing them all to burst out laughing.

Yn blushed, playfully swatting her brother's arm. "Ignorez-lui, il est juste jaloux" Joris calms her before the two siblings start bickering (Ignore him, he’s just jealous)

"Bon, let the race begin!" Charles declared, revving the e-scooter engine.

Andrea struggled to keep up, and Yn couldn't stop giggling at his attempts. The Venice Beach adventure ended with a mini-race, with everyone enjoying the wind in their hair.

Next on the itinerary was a trip from Malibu to Universal Studios. Yn couldn't contain her excitement, especially when they entered The Wizarding World of Harry Potter.

"Charles, we need to buy wands!" Yn exclaimed, practically dragging him into Ollivanders.

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good," Yn whispered, holding her wand and exploring the magical surroundings and Charles chuckled, indulging his sister's enthusiasm "You really are a fan, aren't you?"

Yn winked. "Always."

"Charles, you have to try the butterbeer! It's amazing!" she exclaimed, dragging him toward the Three Broomsticks.

"Alright, alright, I'll give it a go," Charles chuckled, letting Yn lead the way.

Meanwhile, Joris and Alexandra rushed behind them, especially behind Yn. "I can't believe we're here," Joris whispered

"Me neither, but it's magical and they seem so excited," she replied, high fiving him.

"Look at her, she's like a kid in a candy store," Alexandra remarked, her arm intertwined with Charles'’ when they finally reached the twins in a merchandise shop.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The group also spent another day at Six Flags, where Charles, Alex, and Yn attempted to persuade Andrea and Joris to go on some thrilling rides.

"I prefer the safety of solid ground," Joris insisted, while Andrea nodded in agreement.

Charles, not one to be deterred, grabbed Joris and Andrea by their arms and playfully dragged them towards the rides.

"Come on, guys! Live a little!" Charles exclaimed.

"Non, non, pas question," Andrea protested (No, no, out of the question)

Joris nodded in agreement. "We'll pass, thanks"

"Come on, Andrea, we'll hold your hand the whole time," Yn said with a grin.

Yn, ever the persuader, looked at Joris with puppy-dog eyes, "Allez, mon amour, just one ride!"

"Yeah, come on, guys! It's all in good fun," Alexandra urged, exchanging a glance with Yn.

Joris resisted, but Yn's persistence paid off. Andrea, on the other hand, was tougher to crack. Charles, feigning violence, grabbed Andrea and Joris by the collars, threatening with a smile, "You're coming with us, whether you like it or not!"

Andrea finally relented, and the four of them headed to the ride. As they waited in line, Charles couldn't resist teasing Andrea about his fear.

"Don't worry, Andrea, I'll protect you," he joked, wrapping an arm around his trainer.

Andrea rolled his eyes but couldn't hide the smile on his face.

The group's day ended with a whimsical game at the carnival section of Six Flags. A victorious throw won them two enormous plushie bananas. Gleefully, they engaged in a playful banana battle, filling the air with laughter and the occasional thud of soft impacts.

"Attention! Incoming banana attack!" Charles shouted unexpectedly.

Laughter echoed as bananas flew through the air, hitting targets with precision. Alexandra threatened Charles, "If you hit me one more time, you're sleeping on the couch tonight!"

"Banana warfare!" Charles laughed, dodging plushie projectiles.

And they engaged in a hilarious banana fight, Joris and Andrea being the main targets.

The evening continued with board games and ping pong. Charles and Andrea engaged in fierce ping pong battles, while Yn and Alexandra shared laughter and girly moments.

"Hey, Yn, let's go shopping tomorrow before we leave," Alexandra said, breaking Yn out of her thoughts.

Yn grinned. "I would love that"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The following morning, Alexandra and Yn set out for their much-anticipated shopping trip in the heart of Los Angeles. The city's famed boutiques and exclusive shops awaited their exploration. The sunlit streets beckoned them as they strolled, laughter and excitement filling the air.

Their first stop was a trendy boutique showcasing the latest in Los Angeles fashion. Racks adorned with colorful dresses, stylish accessories, and unique pieces lined the walls. Alexandra and Yn eagerly sifted through the racks, exchanging opinions and approving nods.

"I can't believe how different the styles are here," Yn remarked, holding up a vibrant sundress.

Alexandra nodded in agreement. "It's a whole new world of fashion. I love it!"

After finding some stylish additions to their wardrobes, the duo headed to Shepora, that promised exclusive and makeup brands that are not available in Europe.

Yn's eyes widened as she discovered the vibrant array of products, including makeup from House Glass, and other niche brands that had yet to make their way across the Atlantic.

"Alex, look at this! I've heard so much about this and now we can finally try it" Yn exclaimed, her excitement contagious.

Alexandra, equally thrilled, added a few items to her basket. "And House Glass! I've been dying to get my hands on their products. This is like a beauty paradise."

The duo then ventured into clothing stores that were exclusive to the United States. American Vintage, Brandy Melville, and Forever 21 were on their list, promising a unique shopping experience with styles not commonly found in their European wardrobes.

As they explored the racks of clothes and tried on various outfits, the two friends couldn't contain their joy. Yn found a bohemian-style dress at American Vintage that perfectly suited her taste, while Alexandra discovered a trendy jacket at Brandy Melville that she couldn't resist.

With bags full of fashionable finds and exclusive makeup and after a successful shopping spree, the duo met with the rest of the group for a leisurely lunch. They chose a charming outdoor cafe with a relaxed atmosphere, where the California sun cast a warm glow over the scene.The vibrant energy of Los Angeles seemed to follow them, making the meal even more enjoyable.

Charles, Joris, Andrea, Riccardo, Marta, and Antoine were eager to hear about the shopping escapades of the two ladies.

"So, how was the shopping spree, ladies?" Charles asked with a grin.

Yn laughed, "We may have gone a little overboard, but it's all worth it."

Yn and Alexandra couldn't stop sharing their excitement, showcasing their newfound treasures and makeup finds. The group laughed and exchanged stories, creating an atmosphere of camaraderie.

Charles, Joris, Andrea, and the others eagerly greeted Yn and Alexandra, curious about their shopping spoils. The table quickly became a showcase of vibrant fabrics and makeup palettes.

"Wow, those dresses are stunning!" Joris exclaimed, eyeing the bags.

"And look at these makeup goodies! You two are going to turn heads," Charles added with a grin.

"Looks like the shopping trip was a success," Joris remarked, his eyes twinkling.

As they settled into lunch, the conversation flowed seamlessly between bites of delicious California cuisine. Yn and Alexandra recounted their shopping adventures, sharing anecdotes about the unique styles and products they discovered.

"Next time, we're all going shopping together!" exclaimed Marta, glancing at the fashionable purchases.

As the sun began to set, casting a warm glow over the city of angels, the group bid farewell to the vibrant streets of Los Angeles. Early the next morning, they would embark on the next leg of their journey, heading to the Vegas Grand Prix.

The excitement in the air was palpable as they boarded the plane, their hearts still buzzing with the memories of the Californian adventure. Ahead lay the glittering lights of Las Vegas, where the roar of engines would once again take center stage in the world of Formula 1.

i hope you liked it and if you want to know more about joris and yn and the adventures they are going to follow stay tuned (drama coming soon)

taglist: @love4lando @gcldtom @im-mi @topguncultleader @celesteblack08 @reblog-princess @sunf1ower16

[additiva]

sending this in a second ask as it's kinda heavier then the first question. from a writer's perspective, how did you decide to include sexual assault in the fic? mostly i'm wondering if something similar has already happened in irl f1 (even setting aside c. horner, older men abusing young athletes is not new of course), and if this is the case, will it be revealed it's a wider problem in the fic-universe or just affecting ferrari drivers specifically?

(hope this is okay to ask, you don't have to answer if you don't want to ofc)

I've answered this great ask via message a while ago, and chatted about it with @innanzituttoticalmi, but I'm posting it here in case anyone else is wondering. This is an edit of the response I sent months ago, before the fic was finished which is why it's partly describing what will be.

That is going to be part of it. The Horner thing will come into it. Max is considering this a problem with Ferrari, and he's being naive, because it's a wider problem, at the very least involving Horner and Red Bull. Charles IS aware of that, and it was a formative experience for him, and it's part of the reason he doesn't expect things to go well for him if people find out.

In terms of how I decided to include it, for me it was the natural consequence of Charles' position and his personality.

The central idea of the fic is actually his unhealthy devotion to Ferrari (shocker) and how he's willing to do anything (both to his detriment and often to the detriment of others (e.g. Carlos), in pursuit of his goal).

Obviously it's Lestappen, but Max is actually this sort of comparison, in someone who had as much talent, but also had all of the other things Charles didn't have, and so was shielded from those realities, and has to realise that talent isn't enough, and that some people NEED to be likeable to succeed. He's someone who's also relentlessly pursued this same goal as Charles, but has totally different boundaries around it.

So yeah, in my initial thinking around the fic, it wasn't really my goal to write about this theme, but for me it was a very natural consequence of Charles' situation. He's made himself so desirable (in non-sexual ways primarily, but he's obviously also very pretty), for the sake of his career, and as you said, there are people with power and money, who will always seek to use it over those who need it. And F1 (and sport generally, and the world) does have an issue with abuses of power.

And Charles is so determined, that he would accept that risk and keep going.

It's an interesting theme to me, because as is sort of lightly explored in the fic, Seb and Max consider sexual assault a fundamentally unacceptable risk to take, whereas Charles sees it as: I already accepted years ago that I'll risk my life to do this. Of course I'll risk sexual assault if I have to. It's not that he considers it generally acceptable (as evidenced by his response to Ollie's potential involvement), but for himself personally, as much as it does negatively affect him, it's not worse than the risk of death which he's already accepted in a very conscious way (thanks to Jules and Antoine Hubert).

Obviously it's different, in that some risk of physical harm is intrinsic and necessary to the sport, and the risk of assault isnt. But Charles considers the risk of exposure greater than the risk of harm from managing it how he has been. And he believes he'd be able to deal with the harm if it did happen.

Max sort of considers this willingness to put up with harrassment to be evidence of some brokenness and self-disregard on Charles' part, but that's not exactly true. Charles puts up with it only because he sees exposure as a big threat to his ultimate goal of winning the championship. To him, it's a necessary sacrifice, not something he just thinks is fine.

It's also a vicious cycle for him in terms of: "I've given everything for this" -> "I can't give up now, I'll just give a little more and take a little more risk" -> "I've already been through so much for this, if I stop, itll all have been for nothing" -> "I'll just keep going. I can't stop until I achieve my goal". When you've already put so much into something, it's often easier to just keep going a little further, than to give up on the goal.

There's actually a parallel alternate version of this fic which exists only in my head, which is so much darker, and they're both basically irredeemable people except that eventually they love each other very much. And in that version Charles prostituted himself (was coerced into it, then decided that if it was going to happen he was going to get everything out of it that he could), to get through his junior career. Which is essentially what Seb was afraid of happening after the first time Charles was assaulted. And actually it's critical that Seb was there the first time, and he did help. Because that first time, Charles would've "let" it happen (excuse the phrasing). He wasn't expecting it; he wasn't at all mentally prepared in the way he is years later. He had a freeze response, and wouldn't have been able to get away. So actually, Seb did save him, and Seb's extortion also protected him financially from being pressured into things later.

In this fic, it's limited. It's not going to be this very widespread thing that everyone has had. Charles is going to be sort of the canary in the coalmine, but obviously there's the implication that others are at risk, with Ollie. Worth noting that Charles is the first young driver Ferrari has had in many years, and the academy drivers don't usually have much involvement with the team or sponsors, except for Charles who was very deliberately involving himself regularly with them, to build a path into the team.

But yes it will be a plot point that it's NOT just a Ferrari issue; that it's an issue of abuse of power within the sport more widely (@Horner). And that people (Max included 👀) have turned a blind eye to those abuses previously, when it suited them to do so, which ended up contributing to Charles' situation.

(I'm not aware of any other specific situations in F1 irl though).

Also SORRY I still haven't answered your other ask, I've never gotten around to thinking about it at enough length to provide a proper response, but I will at some stage!

[lythea-creation]

I'm right here - Hiba x fem reader x Tasneem

summary: (f/n) is looking forward to a night out with her girlfriends. Little does she know that it won't end up how she expected it at all.

warnings: toxic relationship, ANGST

word count: 847

Author's note: Feel free to check out my Masterlists and make requests. No reposting please! Reblogging, comments and requests are always appreciated <3 If you like the story/my writing, please don't be shy to say it via comments or asks! It takes you a few seconds and might make my day. It's the best appreciation you can show to a writer you like.

Requested? Yes

----------------

Today was one of those days I could almost burst from excitement.

My girlfriends Hiba and Tasneem had invited me to go to Pins with them to have some fun together.

Of course Ali and Omar were going to come as well, but that did not worsen my mood in the slightest.

I had taken my time choosing the perfect outfit. Enough to look hot, but subtle enough to not look cheap. I had wanted to dress up for them.

I could not help checking my phone every minute as I was waiting for them outside. Tasneem had assured me that they were picking up and I did not need to worry about anything but showing up.

“Hey, hottie”, Hiba called out through an open car window.

She was wearing her signature smirk as she was eyeing me up and down.

“Are you gonna come in or just keep decorating your neighborhood?”, she teased me.

That made me snap out of my trance and jump into the car.

Hiba took a hold of my waist pulling me onto her lap when I intended to climb over her to get to the middle seat.

“Hey! Don't keep her to yourself”, Tasneem protested and pulled me away from Hiba by my arm.

A giggle left my lips at their behavior. They could be so sweet.

During the ride their whole attention was on me as they were complimenting my outfit and taking this chance to make out. The driver would never rat us out.

But the touches, compliments and kisses all stopped as soon as we left the car again. As if we were entering another universe.

All of a sudden Hiba and Tasneem were walking ahead and I was struggling to keep up with their fast pace.

They threw themselves at the boys, chatting away. It was like I did not even exist anymore, although I was right next to them.

Ali and Omar were nice to me as well, giving their best to include me in the conversation. But it was like Hiba and Tasneem were actively ignoring and excluding me, drawing every little attention away from me, even if it was merely a simple question.

Our teams were uneven. So Hiba and Tasneem just decided that I was not going to play and instead only watch.

When Omar considered that it was not fair to leave me out of it, he made the compromise to play together with me and switch between trys.

The girls were cheering the boys on while they played, giving them a high-five when they managed to hit a lot of pins.

Now it was my turn.

I picked one of the balls and got to the line in front of the bowling alley.

Before playing I turned back around to the others, hoping for some encouragment from my girlfriends. But they were not even looking at me. They were invested in another conversation with the boys. Honestly they appeared like they were flirting.

Tears sprung to my eyes, blurring my vision.

How could they do that to me? Why had they invited me in the first place if they did not care if I was here?

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Then I rubbed my eyes to clear my vision again.

I had no idea how I did it, but somehow I managed to get a strike, hitting all the pins at once.

Suddenly my sadness and betrayal were replaced by excitement. Maybe I had overreacted.

I made my way over to the others. “Guys! Did you see that? I hit them all”, I declared proudly.

“Nice job”, Omar complimented me.

Hiba and Tasneem were still not paying any attention though.

My face fell again as the disappointment returned.

I sat down on a chair, swiping through my phone. I was skipping through the pictures we had taken mere minutes ago in the car. If I did not have those pictures I might have thought I had imagined it all, considering how different they were acting right now.

Without saying another word I stormed outside, glancing at the others on my way. They did not notice that I was leaving. Of course they did not.

By now the tears were falling, my head hanging low hoping that no one would see.

Should I text my mom to pick me up? But then I would have to explain the situation or at least come up with a decent lie. My mind was not ready for that.

So I decided to walk home instead.

I did not care that it was dark and I was alone. I did not care that I had to walk for two hours straight to arrive home either. I just wanted to get home and hide under my blanket.

The outfit that I had felt so confident in earlier was feeling suffocating now. Apparently it was not enough. I had pictured this whole night completely differently.

It should not have ended with me walking home alone, crying my heart out.

------------------

Tag List: @sunwoniie

Part 2

This was so heartbreaking to write! What do you think about it?

[shakespearean-snape]

Hi there! so glad to see you posting again I like a lot of what you have to say about Snape. I noticed you say a few times tho that your visual headcanon for Snape isn't conventionally attractive and I just wondered if you had any reference of what he looks like in your mind? An actor or other famous person? just someone like that?

I'm just curious how you imagine Snape because I admit I just see Alan Rickman as Snape in my head since I started with the movies as a kid and didn't read the books a few until years later. It always interests me so much when people say they read the books before the movies or read the books with the movies coming out and saw Snape as someone else.

Its ok if you can't think of anyone just thought I'd ask. thx!

Hello!

*waves enthusiastically like an idiot with zero chill*

I get so giddy when someone sends me an ask like this so I hope no one thinks I don't enjoy questions about Snape or my headcanons. As anyone who knows me knows, I think a lot and especially about those things I love so I always have lots of thoughts rolling around in my head I can be positively overeager to share with anyone interested.

So to answer your question, I don't have a specific person pinned down that is 100% like how I picture Snape in my mind but some close candidates would be a young Adrien Brody (which I think is common enough among Snape fans as a choice, right there with Adam Driver these days), obviously the man that JKR based Snape around, John Nettleship, someone like Adarsh Jaikarran as a potential Hogwarts-era and early 20s Snape (even if he is more good-looking than I usually lean, in some pictures he just channels Snape vibes for me quite a bit) and a very young Julian Richings if you've ever seen photos of him in his younger years (I have two here for you so you can see my point a bit, here and here).

Ironically, Julian Richings in the later years of his acting career would probably have been my first choice for a Voldemort fan cast back in the day when any Harry Potter reboot was purely in the realm of the hypothetical (I mean, c'mon, look at this and tell me you can't see it too) but as JKR is an unapologetic anti-feminist/TERF I provide no monetary support to any of her projects including any licensed games, the watching of future reboots or purchasing of future tie-in books in the HP universe, officially licensed HP merchandise, or even by giving traffic to what was formerly Pottermore, etc.

All I bring to the fandom now is my fan theories and love for Snape, which she not only does not benefit from but never seemed entirely at peace with given how the character got away from her and took off. I can't think of a better way to spite someone so utterly spiteful herself than to take the character she was most shocked by people loving in any capacity and celebrate him in every incarnation (gay, bi, trans, ace, autistic, poc, etc.) with my queer, gender-nonconforming little heart while she gets zero money off me for it.

Anyway I hope the visual guide gives you a little more insight into my mind. I've never seen Snape as "ugly" (even when I joke my Snape is "ugly" and I like him that way) but my mental picture of him is of a man whose looks might fall into that unconventionally attractive sphere or what some people call homely. Occasionally I veer off that a bit, as with Adarsh Jaikarran, oh, oh! And also Lee Soo Hyuk, Song Jae-Rim and Kento Yamazaki (ever since I saw him in the live-action Bloody Monday manga series adaptation)!

But yes, my favorite Snape and the Snape I love isn't usually model attractive but also not quite the gargoyle Harry describes (that kid had some ridiculously high standards of beauty tbh, about the only characters he didn't have mentally critical notes on their appearance was the unnamed Veela, Fleur, and Narcissa Malfoy so yeah he totally thought "Draco's mom has got it going on..." Lol!) but somewhere in that "unconventional" categorization of attractive which I feel really suits a man who so often defies easy categorization in general.

(Excuse all the edits. After I gave a few examples more started hitting me and I was like ohhhhh I should have shared them, why didn't I think to share them? So I may come back and make more edits throughout the day, no promises I won't! Lol)

[theretirementstory]

28/07/2024. Bonjour à tous, am I glad to see the weekend, when I can relax! I was at Paris on Monday, Troyes to see the cardiologist on Wednesday and for a transfusion at Troyes on Thursday afternoon. There were two pieces of good news, no lymphoma in my bone marrow 😁 and I don’t have to see the cardiologist again until next year 😁😁. Everything else is still the same but the doctor did say it was too early for the new treatment to be effective.

This coming week it’s another three days of hospital visits, two of which are to Paris! Not only will I have transfusions on Monday but I will also be having my third round of treatment. Hope they give me a bed as I think I will be snoozing a lot of the time.

A young driver took me for my appointment on Wednesday (he’s about 25 years old), he always plays great tracks in the taxi, Supertramp, that sort of thing. Well he only played this song: “Come And Get Your Love” by Redbone. As I quietly sang along I wondered what year it was released, thinking to myself not that far back really. It was released in 1974, that nearly blew my socks off! Have a listen to it, it’s stuck in my head now. My second song for this music spot was one I could hear playing in the background of the Olympic Opening Ceremony, it was from the Europop section and although the commentator was talking all over it, I was still transported to holidays and particularly discos. The year this song was released was 1980, it’s “Spacer” by Sheila & B Devotion.

I asked Monique to do the bulk of my shopping and Anie bought my fruit and vegetables. Anie has also been and collected my prescription. It’s great to have such good friends and I was happy to have lots of tasty food. I hope my body appreciated the fish/chicken/vegetables and fruit I have been feeding it 😂.

Oh my goodness I took the plunge and messaged my cleaning lady to see if she had a couple of hours free. Horror of horrors she didn’t and also said that she was having health problems of her own. Now what am I going to do? Accept the offer from Monique or see if my friends know any other person. I have already mentioned it to Anie.

I must just rectify an omission from last weeks blog, “The Trainee Solicitor” sat an exam at the course he did at the University. He said at the time he hoped he had done enough to pass it and he obviously had! Great result passing the exam, just checks to be made and then he will be a fully fledged Solicitor. I remember my godmother telling me it was years of hard work to attain that position and he has put in the time and effort. Well done that man!

“The Recovery Coordinator” started her working week with a severe migraine! Not a good way to start, then she had a couple of nightmarish days at work, that doesn’t help either. After spending some time with my grandchildren and their Daddy this weekend she was going to catch up with the Olympics. It’s the F1 from Spa-Francorchamps today, a circuit I would have liked to visit. Don’t think it’s on free to view tv so for me it will be the Olympics (once I have prepared myself for tomorrow).

“The Photographer” has had his children for one week of their summer holidays. My granddaughter attended a football day, she gave it a thumbs up but when asked if she wanted to go the following day she said no. They attended a local football match (grandson included) both wore ear defenders as the last time she went to a match she wanted to leave as it was too noisy. Fingers crossed they are having four nights in a camper van this week, it is greatly anticipated by the three of them and I think it will be a memorable experience.

“The Traînée Solicitor” was pleased to hear my health news as it means that he can come out and visit me. I did say that he has to be careful hugging me as I am only fragile now, hopefully he will remember that 😉. I am really excited about seeing him too, it’s been over a year. I had hoped to be visiting him but as we all know, life has a habit of throwing a curved ball occasionally.

The photographs this week are of a champagne village which has at its heart an amusement park, Nigloland.

My garden is very neglected but I am unable to get out there and sort it out. Looking back at photos of previous years it looked so lovely and I am hoping that it will again.

The car has only been moved out of the garage once in the last goodness knows how many months. I would like to bring it out today but as it is more than two days since my last transfusion I had better leave it until I get back from Paris on Tuesday.

I have finished crocheting the blanket, I think it will do for a new baby and as a pram blanket (do people still buy prams?)

I am having a clear out of bedding, and clothes that no longer fit me. I think I will let go of some jumpers and t shirts too. I bought a few new clothes last year but they too are too big for me now. I really need some new shoes but will have to wait for those I think.

As it is a busy day for me, I think I had better make a start!

Have a good week until next week 😁.

[violivs]

NMTDaily: BIRDS

- There he is, folks. My favorite fictional character ever. In his first solo episode. I cannot be held responsible for the level of fangirling that must now commence.

- I mean, I was a lonely teenage girl watching this show in 2014, and he was a cute, nerdy, dark-haired guy with an accent. It was a foregone conclusion, shallow though it might sound. There was no way I was watching this show and not loving Benedick. Including when he’s being cringy and over the top. And then we peel back the layers and see that “having a new friend every week” just means Ben is ALSO desperately lonely and self-conscious? I was toast. It was so over for me, from day one.

- I love that his header image is just a piece of paper with The Ben Show written in messy Sharpie and he’s still acting like he’s presenting the most exciting show ever. The confidence! His icon image being him kissing his reflection and the username “benaddicktion” are also strokes of genius. The cocky, overconfident characterization is so strong just based on those choices. Truly a teenage version of the character from the play.

- We must note the heinous laser cat t-shirt and how Ben is matching Beatrice with her Grumpy Cat t-shirt in recent videos. Love it. Another parallel- they both have extensive collections of nerdy and random t-shirts. AND they’re both cat people!

- Set dressing: Ben has a horse lamp for some reason, which reminds me of “Hero, it’s Darcy on a horse!” Beatrice, meet your very own personal Darcy. He’s just, you know, a lot less shy and buttoned-up than actual Darcy.

- He also has several sports trophies on his desk there, I like that he’s accomplished. Proud of you Ben! A good soldier becomes a good football player, modern adaptation choices! (I can practically hear Beatrice snickering about them just being participation trophies though lol)

- The trophies do remind me of another question: why does Ben never try out for sports at university in Lolilo? He can go intramural just for fun, he doesn’t have to be on a scholarship or trying to go pro. Maybe anxiety??? Maybe he just wasn’t feeling it anymore, or maybe he did try and didn’t make whatever team? *adds to social anxiety headcanon evidence list*

- I always wanted to know what book was on Ben’s bed, and someone in the comments has come through for me! It’s Children of Huron by Tolkien even though that cover art looks like it should be literary historical fiction about a tragic married couple who are lighthouse keepers. Which is also a valid literary genre!

- He also has Game of Thrones books, another connection to Beatrice and her interests. You know they must argue about whether the books or show are better at least once offscreen.

- He also has a little rubber duck dressed like Shakespeare (thank you again comment section for your eagle eyes), which has catapulted me back in time to one of the NMTD fandom’s finest early crack!posts: the Beneduck. Born of an unholy typo made by yours truly these many years ago. (I only made the typo, though, not the edit. Credits for that at the link lol. Miss you both, hope you’re well.❤️ ) You’re welcome. 😂

- “A story about birds”- this reminds me, Ben doesn’t seem as upset about all the bird killings as someone who loves birds would be, so does that mean him loving birds wasn’t set in stone yet? I sometimes wonder if I’m misremembering Ben liking birds because Jake likes birds. But the flamingos are canon so I guess it is canon.

- “easily the best driver in Messina High School, no matter what Beatrice says” Oh, Ben is absolutely only making a video about this topic because he and Bea had another argument about this recently. He’d be like, “I’m an excellent driver” and she’d say, “oh yeah, how many living things have you killed” and that’s the true “how many hath he killed in these wars” moment!

- This video is, of course, intentionally, very cringe. But Ben is so damn good at making it likable. Honest props to Jake, the comments in this video are all loving Ben already because he makes him so likable and fun to watch make a fool of himself.

- Not even 45 seconds into Ben’s first video and he’s already mentioned Beatrice TWICE. Speaking of it’s so over- he was literally always obsessed with her. It’s adorable.

- “obviously he’s quite nervous- but it’s all good! He knows he can do this ‘cause he’s great.” Oh my GOD there it is! There it all is! His entire character. Ben gets so nervous- anxious- and he gets through life by ignoring that feeling and having a big head. Because if he keeps telling himself he’s wonderful and perfect and confident, then he can make himself believe that’s true long enough to get through the scary thing. I love him.

- The fact that Ben definitely scripted this and hunted down all these props ahead of time though. The water gun for the rainstorm! It’s so cute and earnest of him. It reminds me a little of Lizzie Bennet-style costume theater, but it’s puppet theater instead. Good thing, too, because some of these stories sound like they were extremely visceral and gory in real life 😬

- “Bird death rua” Ben knowing a little Te Reo Māori reminds me of another backstory question: how long has Ben lived in A/NZ at this point? He’s lived in Auckland since he was 13, because that’s when he met Peter/Pedro, the year leading up to the summer he was 14 and met Bea. But did he live in another part of A/NZ before that for a while? Or did he come from the UK at 13? I just feel like the timeline is important for the “has a new best friend every week” thing, and actually it could make sense if they lived in the UK for his early years (he didn’t know the reference to an A/NZ little kids’ tv show the flatmates made in Lolilo because he was too old when he moved there to have ever seen it), but then also maybe bounced around different parts of A/NZ for a while before settling in Auckland- he was always the New Kid and that’s why he comes on so strong in friendships and never believes they’ll last. But it’s also very cute if Peter and Beatrice are his actual first friends he makes in A/NZ right after moving countries. I don’t know.

- Extremely funny to me that Ben is a Taylor Swift fan since the moment we meet him. The artist who is stereotyped for only writing about Ben’s supposed least favorite thing, romantic relationships. It’s not even like he gets into her music while he’s coming to terms with his feelings for Bea, no, he’s already singing I Knew You Were Trouble back when he says he hates relationships and romance. Actually, goddamn, that’s a good song choice for him right now, when he sees Bea as the ex-best friend who broke his heart. She’s the one he knew was trouble when she walked in! She’s the one who puts him down!

- Now I am admittedly not a pet person, but it seems unusual for a teenager to be taking the cat to the vet by himself. He doesn’t hold the pet insurance policy, right? So this is the first moment that shows Ben is actually really independent and mature on some levels (foreshadowing), and that his parents are very hands-off. That’s partly because of the “parents must be absent so the kid can have a plotline fully unencumbered by rules and adult interference” trope. But I also always interpreted Ben’s parents as loving but emotionally neglectful. And that also contributes to his anxiety, loneliness, and wild self-esteem fluctuations. (It suddenly occurs to me that this interpretation of it being unusual for a teen to be able to take a cat to the vet by himself might be colored by the fact that I had severe social anxiety as a teen, so I literally could not have gone up to a person working a desk and asked for what I needed in most contexts. If it’s normal for a teen to take a cat to the vet alone, then never mind. But I still hold these headcanons.)

- He dedicated the video to Hero and Bea! Oh he was definitely so nervous and hyperaware that Bea was on the sidelines that whole game and he doesn’t know why it genuinely made him happy that she was there. He’s being sarcastic here, but still! Cute.

- As mentioned in one of my other NMTDaily posts, Ursula helped edit this video and Ben thanks her in the description, and I love that for them. Ursula is probably relieved that Bea hates the video too much to bother reading the description, or she would be mad at Ursula for being friends with him.

- I still can’t watch this video without thinking of the song “Live in Living Color” from the musical Catch Me If You Can. Really, it’s literally the perfect MT song to represent this video. I should find and reblog my old NMTD as a musical fanmix just for fun.

- You see? A big long analytical post about a video in which my cringy dorkass boy pretends to gnaw a bird-shaped oven mitt to death. I can’t even help myself.

- I am so behind on these but i promise I’ll catch up!

💖🦩🥭

[vicsy]

hi vicsy my love

i’d love to hear more about your thoughts and process behind writing evocatio because i think about your fic every time i see the ferrari logo ❤️

RIVER HI COMRADE!

First of all, the fact that my blasphemous creation lives in your head in any way makes me go ZOOOOOOM. Literally. I love you. Thank you for kind words, ALWAYS.

Now, to your actual question...

Evocatio was a totally different concept when I first thought about creating it. It wasn't even called "evocatio" at that moment. My only note about it was "the cars are alive??" and it was in the science fiction genre! I had a wild mashup of Tron/Pacific Rim and sort of virtual reality thingie where the drivers were real but the race wasn't; they had to be hooked up to the simulators but took real damage from the race. And they had to be connected to the cars in some neurological way. One team member was a "driver" and the other was a "guide" through the virtual reality track that changed constantly.

Honestly, I could never make this idea work properly, and when the Piarles exchange tolled around, I thought I could use it. But again, it didn't work how I wanted it to. Did not make the impact I was going for.

So I was struck by a thought: why not leave science fiction behind and move to myths, gods and legends cause I love that stuff so much? At that point, I didn't know that my giftee (@pinkierre hi!!) was into myths, too, so that was an amusing coincidence!

When I started to build this idea in my head, "evocatio" by Nothing but Thieves came onto the shuffle and it clicked.

But I will tell you this. The entire concept of this fic was built around that one scene in chapter two where Pierre dunks Charles in the ice tub in order to save him from potential death (then, he didn't know from what, he just knew Charles was overheated). The idea of having too much external/racing pressure and using ice to cool down was also present in the previous concept, so I knew I wanted to include that in any way. The desperation, the correlation between Pierre's cold fear and iced water, Charles' too-hot body in his subtly shaking hands.

So I started to build from that. Why was Charles feeling so bad and what happened to him? Ferrari happened of course. It was very fun to decide which god represented what and how racing was a universal way of worship and how every god only chose two champions, apart from other people simply praying for them in other ways they chose. The dramatic connection between Charles and Ferrari came in very handy – the story basically writes itself. Charles gives himself away and gets shit in return. Of course, later we learn it's because he basically is Ferrari but I wanted to emotionally torture him.

Pierre, on the other hand, was somewhat harder to write because he's an actual believer, unlike Charles, and in his eyes, gods are usually right even though after some tragic events and his run with the Red Bull, he should have questioned them properly. He never really did, not until he learned about Charles' condition and basically thought "that's some bullshit".

I knew I needed to go heavy on exposition and certain introspection right from the start but not overstuff the story. I decided to throw the readers head first into it, experience Charles' confusion and then explain in extensive worldbuilding what the fuck we are dealing with.

Evocatio started as a single chapter that quickly grew into a three-chapter thing because I needed to change the POV and some scenes didn't work just through the eyes of one character. So I came up with a structure that basically went now–past–future. It made sense to sing praises to the gods in Pierre's POV and put more focus on actual racing in Charles' POV.

I had literal chunks of scenes haphazardly written everywhere and the only I thing I didn't have tight to the very end was "the ending". Like, Pierre was always supposed to think Charles was fucking with Carlos, Charles was always meant to collapse after a race, they both were meant to lose control with each other. But where it led to? Good question indeed. I wanted right from the start to make Charles this "god-like" figure and use sex as a metaphor for worship. I really like the "near-death experience" as a trope to push two pining characters together. Especially in the Piarles case, because oftentimes you don't need to explain why they are in love – it's like a law of the universe.

But, oh, I had fun torturing Pierre with his feeling and conflicted questions of fate, belief etc. Like, he believed more in Charles' fate as Il Predestinato than Charles himself, he was really trying to go vroom vroom but the gods said "sort your shit out or perish".

The sacrifice for each team deity had to be somewhat connected to the team. Spilling blood for Ferrari was always in my head but using insomnia for Red Bull was an idea Briony suggested at some point! I really wanted it to be symbolic for each team and maybe if I write a sequel (maxiel in my head lmao) I could explore more of that.

I will be frank. I was dreading the smut part because I am not good at it as many others are. But it was an important part of the plot. I really messaged Briony "Charles gets on Pierre's dick and it fixes things" but it's so much more than that or the fact that I used the "racing gods" joke as inspiration.

On the subject of gods, I was struggling a bit cause I didn't want to make them super detailed and all-powerful but they needed to be imposing characters, not to be messed with. Which was funny cause Pierre, THE BELIEVER, was the one to defy them because of his love for Charles. I said SYMBOLISM. And most of the deities were inspired by team logos/lore and actual gods from the myths. It was really fun to come up with them starting from the most obvious (The Black Stallion, The Red Bull) to the less obvious (The Huntress, Trickster god, Sunshine goddess).

Lastly... the metaphors. I love them so much. Really. Most of the time I overuse them but for this fic? They never felt too much. I love expressing internal turmoil through metaphors. For Charles, I chose something more grounded, less mythical. For Pierre, I went all out on subverting existing myths to fit into the world. Personally, the one metaphor about returning with the shield or on it from the first chapter and the one about the Minotaur's labyrinth from the second chapter are my faves. I used them to underline the contrast in Pierre and Charles' thinking and attitude and how it changes when the truth comes out eventually in the final chapter.

Ok, I lied about "lastly"... The last chapter was the trickiest, I rewrote the track scene where the culmination happens, I think, four times. I needed it to be present in the moment, not just explaining what is happening and also it had to make sense and not be... cliche if I can say that? It came to me as I went on. The only thing I was 100% sure about was Nando's cameo as a demigod (Nandofuckery everywhere!). So I wanted to do I "happy" ending but also show that Charles realizes what he is and how coming together with Pierre fits into his new role doesn't fix everything in its entirety. He still struggles... but maybe I can express in a lil ficlet that is lying in my notes, waiting to be written properly...

In conclusion, this fic really started with me thinking "it would be really dope to put one of my faves in the ice bath while he is on the brink of death while the other character who is in love with him tries to not let him slip away" and ended up being a fucking MONSTROSITY full of religious imagery, complete blasphemy, some softness and, apparently, an outlet for my metaphor kink. I am not a religious person and an atheist, so it was truly an amusing ride. Even if some stuff of the story was so clear in my head, and other tortured me for days.

I did spend so much time writing this fic, blowing up deadlines but I just... couldn't bring myself to write faster. I literally questioned every line, spend a month with waking up and going to sleep with this fic in my head, compiling the playlist and having a lil breakdown, thinking I bit more than I could chew. But who am I if not an overachiever so I would have never backed out from doing right by this idea, this universe, the person I was gifting this fic to and, of course, the whole fandom. I am really glad I met all of you guys thanks to the exchange even though I still have war flashbacks about writing it for exactly (day to day) one month.

River, this got out of control, just like "evocatio" did at some point and I am sorry for so many words!! Though, I do hope you will find this ok. Thank you, again, so much for having so many kind words and thoughts about this fic. It means so much to me, you have no idea.

[ravagedarkness]

Spider-Man: Home Rebuilt, Chapter 33: Guy In The Chair

The call turned out to be a session in and of itself. It wasn’t anything major. It was an introductory session of sorts. But, still, I felt like I was already feeling progress. It wasn’t a lot of progress per se. I guess it was like… a baby learning to stand up.

“Well, let’s start with a bit of an introduction,” Jericho began over the phone. “I know some therapists tend to charge for the intake session, but I tend to give those free of charge for people in a certain line of work.” I had a feeling that the line of work in question was being a costumed hero. “With that said, allow me to introduce myself formally. As you already know, I’m Jericho Drumm. I live New Orleans, Louisiana, but I’m originally from Haiti – Port-au-Prince, to be exact. I still go there pretty regularly. Anyway, I have a bachelor’s degree from Xavier University of Louisiana and a master’s degree and doctorate from Tulane University – all in Psychology. I’m certified by the Louisiana State Board of Examiners of Psychologists. I’ve been in this field for about 13 years now – and yes, that includes the Blip Years. As you can probably guess, business was, for unfortunate reasons, very plentiful.”

I raised my eyebrows briefly. “Yeah,” I commented.

“How about yourself?”

“Well… as you know, I’m Peter Parker. I’m… currently working on my GED. Scott Summers is actually my teacher. I do plan on going to college. MIT is my goal. I’m currently living in Manhattan, but I was born in and spent most of my life in Queens, so I consider that my home borough. Beyond that… I’m a freelance photographer for The Daily Bugle… which is ironic since I’m in a certain line of work, where I work with Scott.” I chuckled. “But, yeah, I think that’s about all I can say for now.”

Jericho made a noncommittal sound. “Okay. And why are you seeking therapy?”

“My girlfriend thinks I need professional help and I agree. I’m… I went through a lot these last few years – especially during the last several months. So… yeah.”

“I see. Have you ever been in therapy before?”

“No.”

“And what are you looking for? What do you expect?”

I was given a bit of pause for a moment. I then sighed. “…I don’t know about expectations. What I do hope for is that… maybe I can get to a point where I don’t feel like everything good in my life isn’t going always to slip away or be taken away from me. …Am I making sense?”

“You are,” Jericho said reassuringly. “Since I think we hit the point where we can’t talk much more without revealing certain details, allow me to tell you how things are going to go. Making appointments will be on you. I understand that life is likely extremely busy for you, so I won’t take it personal if you take a lot of time between appointments – I have clients who have had years between appointments. Anyway, once I get your e-mail, I’ll send you a link so we can video chat. Said link is extremely secure, so feel free to be rather open when we do chat. But, for the sake of safety, I’m heavily encouraging you to use a VPN and make sure you’re in a secure place. Also, confidentiality is a two way street with us. Understood?”

“Yes,” I replied.

“Good. Now, let’s talk risks and benefits…”

The rest of the day went by as normal. After I made by daily trip to Peter Pan, I went home and gathered my supplies for the study night. Not wanting to risk another encounter with Scorpion, I decided to take an Uber over to MJ’s place.

During the car ride, I sat in the back seat of a yellow Ford Taurus. The driver was listening to a news report on the radio regarding my fight with Scorpion.

“…while no civilians were hurt in the clash, the fight resulted in sizeable property damage, including wrecked cars and a damaged fire hydrant. For better or for worse, the fight between Spider-Man and Scorpion was put to an end when Frictor, another masked vigilante and a member of the group known as the X-Men – which also includes Spider-Man – arrived on the scene and drove Scorpion off with an automatic rifle. Reaction towards the skirmish has been rather polarized on social media. While a lot of people pointed to this fight as another example for the need of The Accords, there has been a lot of pushback from those who believe that Justin Hammer created a problem by making a solution for an issue that didn’t need fixing in the first place…”

The driver sighed as she turned off the radio.

“Serves Scorpion right,” the driver commented, her voice colored with a Jamaican accent.

“I take it you’re not a fan of Scorpion,” I inquired, wanting to make small talk. At that, she scoffed.

“Nah, not even a little bit.” She shook her head. “All Scorpion did was make more trouble. They want to crack down on all of the vigilantes in New York, but they’re the ones helping out in this city. If the government was able to do their job, they would have done so already.” She chuckled. “Besides, Spider-Man has been nothing but good for us. A video ‘proving’ he killed Mysterio is not going to make me think any different.”

I smiled as I looked out the window. “I agree, Miss…”

“Mousie,” she said. I looked up at the rearview mirror to see her gazing back at me. I could tell she was smiling. "Good to see another Spider-Man fan.”

After I was dropped off, I took a moment to give Mousie five stars before I headed up. Once I reached MJ’s door, I knocked on it five times. I lowered my hand and waited. A few moments later, the door opened, revealing MJ on the other side, who was dressed in a black t-shirt with matching sweatpants.

“Hey Dork,” she greeted as she stepped aside.

“Hey Em,” I replied as I walked in. The two of us shared a brief kiss before I started taking off my shoes. “Is Ned here?”

“Yeah, he’s just using the bathroom. We’re set up in the living room, so have a seat.”

I made my way over to the living room. I took a seat on the sofa. On the coffee table was a bowl of nachos, a bowl of queso dip, and two cans of Coca-Cola, along with a couple of textbooks and notebooks. I heard the sound of a fridge opening and closing. I looked over my shoulder to see MJ walking towards me with a can of Coke. She handed the can towards me. I took it graciously.

“Thanks, Em,” I said in earnest.

“Anytime, Loser,” she replied as she took a seat next to me. “So, how was your day?”

“It was… interesting,” I told her. “…There’s a chance I might be in California this upcoming weekend.”

At that this, MJ smiled wryly. “Are you going Hollywood on me?”

I scoffed and shook my head. “No. It’s just… Scott, Craig, and Kitty got a text way early in the morning. There’s a good chance that said text came from Carmilla.”

MJ’s eyebrows furrowed up as she tilted her head. “Who?”

“Carmilla Black. She’s a former X-Men and was actually living with the others about six months before we all met them. And… she’s also Craig’s ex. They had a bit of a falling out. But, the text was written in this code that only Scott, Carmilla, Kitty and Craig know. Craig really wanted to get out there as soon as possible. Problem is the coordinates were in the middle of California’s part of the Sonoran Desert. So, Scott wants to make sure the text is legit before he decides to go out there.”

“Is Craig okay?” MJ asked.

“He will be, I think,” I replied. “He really wants to make sure she’s okay.” I sighed sadly as I remembered the talk Craig and I had on the roof. I then smiled slightly. “On a lighter note, though… I finally found a therapist to talk to.”

“That’s awesome, Loser!” MJ turned in her seat and wrapped her arms around my neck. She pulled me into a tight embrace, which I returned. “Seriously, I’ve been afraid that you’d burn yourself out, with what has been happening recently between you and Scorpion.”

“So was I.” I pulled away a bit, just enough so I could look MJ in the eye. “Fortunately, I had some people save me from my own stupidity.”

At that, MJ scoffed. “We’ll be doing that a lot,” she jested.

“I know you’re joking… but you’re right,” I replied.

“I usually am.” MJ leaned forward and pressed her lips against mine for a brief kiss.

“I’m grateful for that.”

We kissed again. This kiss wasn’t brief. As our lips moved against each other, we both ended up leaning against the backrest and headrest of the sofa. I turned by body, bringing my left knee on the cushion to get more comfortable. Right after that, I got lost in the kiss. I no longer cared about studying. The only thing I cared about at that moment was MJ. The only other thing I was still aware of was the sofa we were on – it could have been picked up by a tornado, and I would neither know nor care.

Unfortunately, we were interrupted by the sound of a throat clearing. We both parted and looked towards Ned, who gave us a halfhearted glare.

“I leave you alone for one minute, and you decided to start a make out session with Peter?” he chided MJ. “We’re here to study Trigonometry, not Anatomy!”

From the corner of my eye, I saw MJ pout. “You and Betty make out around me all the time, but I never say anything!” she shot back.

Ned raised his eyebrows as he leaned forward. “Yes you do! You always do! Just yesterday, you asked Betty what my vocal cords taste like! People were around us! They were grossed out!”

“Well maybe next time, you and Betty won’t start a make out session in the middle of the lunch line! The one time I decide to just get lunch from school, I have to see you and Betty trading spit like Pokémon cards!”

“You’re just mad because Peter’s not on campus with you!”

As the two went back and forth, I just watched them. It was a hilarious sight. But it was also relieving and poignant for me. Once again, I was reminded that I had Ned and MJ back in my life. And that made me happy.

Eventually, we did get to studying. We went over Sum and Difference formulas. We spent about three hours on it, not including the snack breaks we took. I made sure to take great notes – I wanted to be able to test into Calculus when I go to college. After the study session, the three of us got settled in for a movie. MJ wanted something dark and broody. Ned wanted something with action. I decided to split the difference by suggesting New Police Story. After we agreed on it, we all sat on the couch. Well, that wasn’t quite true. Ned was leaned up against my right arm. Meanwhile, MJ was curled up on my lap. It was just like the old days, during the time between MJ and I kissing in London and when The Daily Bugle helped Mysterio posthumously expose me.

It was a beautiful time.

However, things came to an end when the phone vibrated in my pocket. I used the remote to pause the movie before I looked down at MJ.

“Sorry, Sweetie, but I need you to move,” I told her apologetically. She moaned in disappointment, but she moved, sitting up and crossing her arms.

“Someone better be dying,” she deadpanned. I chuckled. I reached into my pocket and pulled out my phone. I looked at the cracked screen.

It was Kitty.

I answered the phone and put it to my ear.

“Hello,” I greeted.

“Hey Peter,” she replied. “…Are you alone?”

“No. I’m with Ned and MJ at the moment. Is everything okay?”

“…Sort of. Well, not really. I hit a snag on our group project. I was trying to track down the message we got this morning, but it turns out, the text was sent via e-mail.”

“…Wait, you can do that?” From the corner of my eye, I saw Ned look at me.

“As a matter of fact you can. It’ll take a bit of time, but we’ll figure it out. I just wanted to give you a bit of an update, and…”

“I can help with that,” Ned said aloud.

Kitty was given pause. “Excuse me?”

“Hold on, I’m putting you on speaker,” I stated before I put the cellphone on speaker and placed it on the coffee table.

“I was saying I can help with that,” Ned continued. “I have some programs in my laptop, and I have it with me. If you want, we can come over to where you guys are at, and I can track down where the email is from.”

“Ned… I know your hacking skills are quite impressive. But I don’t want you or MJ involved in this. The last thing I want you to do is unwittingly do something that’ll put a target on your back.”

“I can handle that, Kitty,” Ned assured. “You know, I hacked Peter’s suit – the one using Stark tech. So, tracking down a text via email shouldn’t be too much of a problem.”

“And besides, the more help you get, the quicker you guys can find out what’s going on with Carmilla,” MJ added. I didn’t say anything. I low key agreed with Kitty. I didn’t want Ned and MJ to get hurt. But, Ned is Guy In The Chair, and MJ was… MJ. We were a trio – half the time, wherever one went, we all went.

“…Okay, give me your location – Craig is picking you guys up.”

About thirty minutes later, Craig arrived. We made our way down and piled into his SUV. As he drove, we all remained silent. Craig was listening to music. I would later find out that he was listening to Delusional by Tech N9ne. We knew he was in a certain mood and that it was best that we didn’t try to talk to him, no matter how much I wanted to.

Eventually, we arrived at the garage where the X-Men kept their vehicles. After we exited Craig’s SUV, he beckoned us to follow him with his right hand. He walked over to a set of five light switches that were on a wall. They were all in the off position. Craig flipped them on and off in a certain sequence. After that, I heard the sound of a lock disengaging before a part of the floor opened up.

“A trapdoor?” MJ said.

“Yup,” Craig replied. He walked up to it. We followed him and watched as he made his way down a set of stairs. We descended after him. He stopped briefly at a red button and pressed it. Behind us, the trapdoor closed and locked. He then walked forward. As we followed him, we ended up in somewhat large room. There was a roundtable with chairs, a small counter with a Keurig machine, a fridge, a wooden cabinet, and a computer with three monitors on top of a large desk. Kitty was sitting at the desk, and Scott was at the table, sipping a cup of coffee.

“I got them,” Craig called out, getting the attention of Scott and Kitty.

“Hey guys,” Kitty replied as she turned in her seat. “Welcome to the underground.”

“Do your best to help us,” Scott said to Ned. “But there’ll be no hard feelings if you can’t. Tell us what we need to do.”

“I’m going to need one of your cellphones and a cord,” Ned stated. Craig pulled out his cellphone and walked up to Ned. He handed the device over. After that, he reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out his charger. He pulled the cord out of the charging box and handed it over to Ned. “Thank you." Craig nodded quietly.

Ned walked over to the round table and took a seat. During this, Scott and Kitty stood up from their seats and joined Craig, MJ, and I behind Ned. Ned took a couple of minutes to boot up his laptop. After that, he booted up a couple of programs. One was a custom VPN he often used when he talked with me during my Spider-Man activities prior to The Spell. He took a moment to set the location for Antarctica. After that, he ran another program. This one showed a black and white map of the world covered in red dots.

“What is that?” MJ asked.

“It’s a map of every cell tower on Earth,” Ned replied. “It can also show every server on Earth, too.” After he connected the charging cord to his laptop, Ned connected Craig’s phone to the cord. As the screen on the phone lit up, Craig reached over for it. He tapped in a code, unlocking it. He then went through the settings to allow data transfer for the phone. He backed off after that, letting Ned continue his work. Ned went through Craig’s phone via his laptop before he found the file for Craig’s texts. “Which text are we looking for?”

“It should be the most recent one,” Craig replied.

Ned nodded before he switched programs. Using the program, he went through Craig’s phone again. After pulling up the message, he tapped at the keyboard of his computer a few times before the map was pulled up again. Several of the dots flashed yellow until there were two yellows dots. There was one in California – in the Sonoran Desert region – and one in New York.

“So the text originated from California,” Ned explained. “It reached a cell tower in New York – probably the one closest to where you guys live at.” He looked at Scott, Craig, and Kitty as he did so. “However, you did say it was sent by e-mail. So…” He typed a command into the computer before a green dot lit up. It was also in New York, practically right on top of the yellow dot. “…It looks like the e-mail went through a server in New York.” He typed in a few commands. “…The e-mail originated from the server at these coordinates.”

“Let me see them,” MJ said as she pulled out her phone. She opened up her browser. She then looked back and forth between the screen of the laptop and phone as she typed away at the phone’s screen.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“Googling the coordinates,” she replied. After she was done typing, she looked at the screen of her phone. Her eyes went wide for a bit. She then took in a breath and closed eyes. There was a look of annoyance on her face.

“…Everything okay?” Scott said as everyone looked at her.

“…So, there was a hit on the coordinates.” MJ opened her eyes. “But you guys are not going to like this – at all.”

She placed her phone on the counter. We all looked down at it. My mouth went ajar as I read the Google result.

Hammer Industries.

[umichenginabroad]

Visiting Vietnam Part 2 (Week 17)

With one day left in the Hanoi area, we scheduled a day tour to Ninh Binh where we biked around rice fields surrounded by mountains, took a boat trip down a river in Tam Coc which went through three different caves, climbed up steps to Lying Dragon Mountain, and visited Dinh King temple. The various mini-adventures were all stunning, but it was hard for me to properly appreciate them after spending three days in the most beautiful environment I’ve ever laid eyes on. The intensely hot and humid weather (which wasn’t a problem in the mountains of Ha Giang) didn’t help either. Just a few minutes of walking outside was followed by sweat and dehydration. If anything, this weather encouraged us to always have a smoothie or juice of some sort in our hands. For $1-2, the drink options are endless and we sure took advantage. Once we returned to Hanoi, we quickly made our way to the airport and flew to Ho Chi Minh City where we were spending the next two days.

^ The view from Lying Dragon Mountain

Our first day in Ho Chi Minh City, formerly Saigon, was spent exploring the city and doing a food tour in which we once again rode on motorbikes, but this time in the city. Let me tell you, being on the back of a motorbike in a Vietnamese city is not for the faint of heart. Bikes and cars are constantly appearing out of nowhere and are often on a collision course with you until the very last second. The stream of vehicles never stops — not for pedestrians, not for other vehicles, sometimes not even for an ambulance. A perk of the food tour was that our three drivers were young university students who knew a good bit of English, so we could finally ask questions about their lives and experiences as well as Vietnamese culture. The other highlight was the food. I had the guides help me make a list of all the foods we tried:

Bun bo hue - spicy noodles soup

Banh xeo - Vietnamese pancake/crepe eaten in lettuce wraps with shrimp, bean sprouts, and a variety of leaves including basil and mint. It is dipped in a sweat sauce. (This was a personal favorite)

Dim sum

Banh mi - Vietnamese sandwich

Banh trang nuong - Vietnamese pizza

Bo lui xa - grill beef and lemongrass

Kumquat & sugarcane iced tea (personal favorite)

Coffee Banh flan - flan cake (personal favorite)

^ Banh Xeo - A very yummy dish which requires skilled rolling to produce.

^ Banh flan - literally the best flan I’ve ever had over a bed of crushed ice and coffee.

It goes without saying that we left that food tour with happy stomachs and a strong desire for a nap. Later that day we did some shopping! It turns out that Vietnam has endless stalls of knock-off (but very high quality) backpacks, bags, clothing, and so much more. We were particularly eager to buy backpacks and fanny packs which were significantly cheaper than normal prices. As crazy as it may sound, over those two days in Ho Chi Minh, the three of us bought 13 bags/backpacks for us and our friends/family in addition to other clothing, coats, and souvenirs. To this day I will never know how I managed to bring everything I bought back to Sydney in addition to my already full backpack and one-weeks-worth of clothes. I do always love a packing challenge!

With one day left in Ho Chi Minh, we had to take a tour of the Cu Chi Tunnels not too far away. These tunnels were the site of many battles between American forces and the Vietcong during the Vietnam war. In addition to getting to see several traps used by the Vietcong and learning about how the Vietcong formed (and survived in) the tunnel system, we got to walk 100m in the tunnels ourselves! Walking so far crouched over in a tunnel with a height of 1.5 meters was not easy, so you can imagine our shock when we got out and learned that the tunnel we went through was made 1.5x larger than the actual tunnels used in order to accommodate tourists.

^ examples of traps used in the Vietnam War

^ A cross-section view of the underground tunnels used by the Vietcong. Traps were set at the entrances and throughout the tunnels in case intruders found their way in. The kitchen was strategically designed so that smoke from a fire would leave through incremental holes making it less visible near the ground. To prevent wild dogs from approaching the smoke and revealing its position, spices were mixed with water and poured around the smoke’s backdoor to scare them away. The tunnels were only built at night as well so as not to draw attention, and all entrances were covered with leaves to blend into the environment.

Between the nature, people, culture, food, and shopping, Vietnam was hands down one of the best trips I had the chance to go on and I can’t wait to return one day. Cheers!

David Bayer

Biomedical Engineering

University of New South Wales in Sydney, Australia

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #183

Do you own a pocketknife, or any other kind of multi-tool? No.

What did your mother study at university? Social work. She graduated at ~60 and I'm so proud of her determination. Shatters my heart that she hasn't been able to use her degree though; due to Covid and her cancer, she never really got the chance to intern anywhere and she hates it so much.

What was the last thing you took a video of? That's a good question.

What are some of your least favorite foods? Brussel sprouts, asparagus, pulled pork & general southern barbecue (this does not include burgers and hot dogs, those I love), beans, fried chicken, carrots, celery, and A LOT more, I am so picky it's not even fucking funny. It's mostly texture stuff. The list would probably be the vast majority of food.

How old were you when you learned how to drive? Somewhere around 17? At least, that's when I took driver's ed. I never got my license and even my permit is expired by years.

Have you ever used a public pay phone? I don't believe so.

Do you know what the most common bird is in your area? Not really, no, but crows, robins, sparrows, bluejays, cardinals, and doves are a few that come to mind immediately.

How many teeth have you had extracted? Two wisdom teeth, both within the past year. They're thankfully the only ones I have.

What's a Halloween movie that you enjoy? Hocus Pocus is my favorite.

Would you ever walk a runway if given the opportunity? No, I don't want people focusing on me.

Would you say you're in a good place mentally? No; I am absolutely in a dip lately. I'm quite sure my body has stopped responding to my key mood stabilizer so I'm in the process of finding something else that works...

What's a popular candy that you do not like? Snickers, Tootsie Rolls, Mounds, Almond Joys, and Swedish Fish to name a few.

Do you bite your nails, cut them, or keep them long? So I actually have a habit of tearing them instead of either of these?? I really need to stop, because doing it often makes a tear too deep and will sometimes bleed, but it's a looooong-going habit.

Do you ever have to babysit? Not really, like I often go with my mom on Fridays to watch my niece (and other niece and nephew when school isn't going on), but I'm not the one taking care of her needs and stuff. I'm just there to interact.

Do you sing when alone? No, I barely sing at all.

Favorite pastel color? PINK!!!!!!!!!!!!

Favorite thing cats do? THE HEART EYES. If you've got an affectionate cat, you know what I mean: it's just this way they look at you, eyes mostly closed, and it's the most loving expression I've ever seen from any animal. I am also a massive sucker for affectionate headbutts, like I just love how expressive they are of bonds.

Butterflies, or dragonflies? I love both, but I'm fonder of butterflies.

Favorite kind of candy bar? It's a specific kind of Reese's that I don't see often; think of a Hershey's bar, but turn the squares into Reese's. It is fucking divine.

Favorite childhood store? oh I was a TOTAL Toys-R-Us kid. I was so mad when our local one got replaced with another store lol

Do you dream a lot? Do you remember your dreams? More like I have nightmares a lot. It's rare that I remember details long after awakening, but the general gist is basically always me being in danger but unable to physically defend myself; I usually wake up screaming at somebody. I say fucking awful things in my sleep, things I've never even said irl and never WOULD say, and it's extremely, extremely upsetting.

Have you ever lucid dreamed? I have once and only once and that shit between me and god lmfao

Have you ever intentionally killed an animal for fun? hi no I hope there's a special place in hell for a person like this

Did the person you lost your virginity to appreciate it? Well I haven't yet, but whenever it does happen I'm sure he'll cherish that I trust him enough for that. He knows I was abstinent most of my life.

What character trait are you most ashamed of? I am VERY impulsive, especially when upset. I've gotten better about it, but I've certainly said shit in the heat of the moment I wish I hadn't.

Do you prefer waffles or pancakes? Most of my life I strongly preferred pancakes, but I'm actually more into waffles now.

Are you craving anything right now? Yes, it's been a hot damn minute since I've had a soda and I am SUFFERING, like it's pathetic.

Are you content just blending in with the crowd? Yeah. I like to have some individuality about me, but I certainly don't want to stand out starkly.

Who is your celebrity crush? Richard Kruspe, yes he's very nearly my parents' age, and

If you had to choose a random color to dye your hair, what would you choose? Pastel pink. Hopefully one day... but my hair is so fucking reluctant to take color, especially pastels, apparently.

Do you like the color orange? Yeah, it's fine. I particularly like creamsicle-esque tints.

Have you ever shunned a family member or vice-versa? Yes, both ways.

Favorite shade of blue? Turquoise, probably.

Favorite soup? I haven't really had a soup I liked since I was a child.

Do you like mangoes? So I was pretty dumbfounded to discover I hate REAL mangoes, like they're so soft and mushy and it's disgusting, but I adore the flavor of mangoes, like it's my favorite type of juice.

What do you want most? A life where I'm truly happy. No real life will ever be without some sorrow, but I've got way too much in mine.

How is your mental health? Pretty damn poor. I'm absolutely back in a depression dip.

What are you thankful for currently? In this exact moment, notably my mom. I don't know what the fuck I'm going to do whenever her life's up, and it's a fear I have daily, knowing that her cancer will eventually re-emerge and almost certainly be her cause of death.

What’s an unpopular opinion you have politically? I am not pure ACAB; I support reform, and much of it, however I just don't believe cops are inherently bad. A gross amount are, but I do believe good cops with good intentions exist.

Name a song that’s fun to sing along to. lmfao I enjoy "Bartender Song" by Rehab a lot for this

Who is tallest in your family? Uhhh... probably my brother Bobby?

Do you currently have a headache? No, thankfully. One thing not wrong.

What's the first thing you usually do when you get off work or school? When I used to be in school, I immediately did homework because I wanted it out of the way.

If you could be famous for anything, what would you choose to be famous for? Taking a really iconic photograph with a very obvious, strong message.

Who is your favorite YouTuber? Of all-time, Markiplier, but these days I've been most actively into Game Grumps and John Wolfe.

Who is the nicest person you’ve ever met? I dunno; I know a good deal of very nice people.

How about the meanest? That *I* personally know, my old friend Colleen. She was so fucking hateful and just generally unpleasant, and the kind of asshole who was a garbage individual to people in customer service, and over NO good reasons. The only reason I ever stayed friends with her so long was my own loneliness; at a time she was the only person outside family I ever, ever saw/did things with. That and I give people way too many damn chances, like our friendship broke apart many times prior to the final "okay I'm done."

What was the last thing you spoke to your mom about? I asked her what she went to Food Lion for.

When is the last time you felt appreciated for something you did? Ummm, I'm not totally sure at this very moment. Well actually probably yesterday; Girt came by after work and he had food ordered and I got it in for him, I know he appreciated that, even if it's just a small thing.

Are you the type of person who gets straight to the point? HAHAHA NO, I ramble like a MOTHERfucker, even when I totally don't intend it.

Do you enjoy playing board games? I actually really don't, they're just not very fun to me. Like some are okay, but I'm not having a great time. Way back when when Girt and I were just friends and he'd visit occasionally, we had a routine of generally playing board games, and honestly I don't miss that lmfao. I do enjoy Battleship though, and that's one we'd play a good amount.

Are there any movies you are wanting to see? THE FUCKING BARBIE MOVIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😭 ugh no one wants to go with me and it sucks SO hard, I am absofuckinglutely seeing it when it comes to televisions, though.

Do you feel uncomfortable when people you hardly know confide in you? Honestly not at all, I'm very open to anyone confiding in me if they feel safe to; you never know if that person has really been holding shit in, and they see something in you they haven't in others.

What’s something you’re proud of yourself for? Coming as far as I have in healing my legs.

Have you ever gone over 3 months without shaving/waxing your legs? It's been like... three years, dude. I keep them covered always though, just because of societal expectations; my hair is extremely dark and anyone getting even a glimpse of them mortifies me. I stopped as my body got so unhealthy that shaving them became so exhausting and challenging that I just. Couldn't keep up with maintaining them. I want laser hair removal on my legs one day.

Have you ever swam in a saltwater pool? Yes, the pool for physical therapy was saltwater.

Do you think anyone has given up on you? At least three people, probably more.

Have you ever been pregnant? No.

Have you taken anyone’s virginity? Obviously not, given an earlier question.

Have you ever made your boy/girlfriend choose between you and someone else? No.

Do you remember when some of the Walmarts had a McDonald’s in them? Well yes, our local one has exactly that.

What is one recipe that you would like to learn how to make? This upcoming Thanksgiving, I want Mom to teach me how to make the fresh bread she did last year; it was the best bread I'd ever tasted in my entire fucking life and I want to know it for my own future. I need to learn way, way more basic cooking, though...

Do you believe that Jesus will come back in your lifetime? He never is.

Were you afraid of heights as a child? No, but I am as an adult.

Have you ever had a lead role in a play? No. Well, I super faintly remember being Mary in a Sunday school thing, but it was just an in-class little thing. Gotta love teaching little girls about a mystically impregnated virgin pre-teen.

Do you have a chandelier in your home? No.

Are you a Jeffree Star fan? Or no? Yes, he's a public figure that to me has exhibited more growth than any other human I've been exposed to. There are behaviors I disagree with, but no person is all white or all black when it comes to being a moral or bad person.

Do you own a guitar? Specify. Which brand of guitar do you own? I no longer do; I had an electric guitar from a brand I can't recall (nothing impressive, very basic), but I sold it to a parts shop when I was trying to scrounge up money to afford my newest tattoo.

Are you a monogamous person? Or do you hate commitment? I personally am, but I have no problem with polygamous individuals, so long as they're open about this with their partners.

Who was the last person who was rude to you? My mom; a few days ago, something she did/said made me cry for a while.

Have you ever met someone in person that you first met online? Sara, yes. There are a number of other long-time online friends I want to physically meet one day.

Who do you know who is dyslexic? I feel like I remember hearing that my niece Aubree is? She's autistic and I at LEAST know Mom has said she exhibits traits of it.

Is weed legal in your state? No, NC is behind in the times in MANY regards.

What is something that you used to be ashamed of, but now you’re not? As a child, I became very embarrassed by my obsession with Pokemon because I was a girl and it was "weird;" it's because of this I never asked my mom for games and I never wanted anyone to see me explore the Pokemon website. As an adult though, I'm totally open about my love for the franchise, I know partially BECAUSE it's so loved nowadays. Even as a pre-k kid, my embarrassment reaction was SO insanely strong and I never, ever wanted people to see me as a weird girl. I still carry that behavior today, just with different stuff.

Have you ever held a newborn baby? Yes, when my youngest niece was born. I was seated though, I was way too scared to hold her otherwise.

Out of all your usernames for websites, which one is your favorite? Do you use it for more than one site? Ozzkat, it's the classic and what I use for the majority of places.

Have you ever spent the whole day (or multiple days) just looking up one thing on the internet (e.g., videos of your favorite band, how-to videos, quizzes, etc.)? hi i hyperfixate and do this shit regularly

Have you ever been in a situation where you had to be around your ex everyday? No. Well I mean, when Sara and I were still in contact, daily RP posts normally happened, but that was just a website.

Which condiment (ketchup, mustard, etc.) do you use the most of? Probably ketchup. It's funny, I hated ketchup as a kid.

Would you ever flirt with somebody in front of your parents? With my significant other, yes, so long as it wasn't too suggestive, 'cuz then it's just weird.

Have your parents ever questioned your virginity? I know my mom has. Dad probably assumes I'm not, but idk, I certainly don't talk about this with him.

How many of your friends play World of Warcraft? I have no idea; I have friends I know through the game, so obviously them, but I'm not sure if I have any "in my real life" friends who currently play. I know numerous people who have.

Is there a certain song you like to headbang to? No; surprisingly, headbanging has never been and probably never will be my thing. I don't like headaches.

Is there a garage or carport attached to your house? No.

[naturecpw]

Happiness:  Is Feeling Content More Important Than Purpose and Goals?

There are many ways to be happy, but we can also find comfort in the knowledge that our constant dissatisfaction is what makes us human.

The Conversation  Rafael Euba

Don’t worry, be happy.

There is much written about finding one’s life purpose and reaching self actualisation, but do we really need to have one? My partner is happy pottering around the house with his family around him, watching TV, reading the news, working in his unskilled job without responsibility, supporting his football team. Meanwhile, I am frustratingly “growing and developing”, learning, wondering what it is all about – yet without much actually changing in my life. Are drifting and feeling contented in life more important than having a “life purpose” and goals? —Brenda, Blackpool     

           Questions about happiness, purpose and goals remind me of Don Quixote, the dreaming knight in Cervantes’ novel of the same name, and Sancho Panza, his earthy page. Indeed, literature often contains characters and themes that reflect telling universal truths about human existence, experience – and psychology.    

           As the novel progresses, we realise that both characters are equally sophisticated intellectually. But while Don Quixote’s goals are utopian, romantic and clearly unobtainable, Sancho is satisfied with feeling safe and eating bread and cheese – accompanied by a little wine, of course – after each of their frustrated misadventures.    

           I’m a psychiatrist and research on personality shows that a more open and inquisitive personality will always want to seek new experiences and sensations. This is more exciting, but also less comfortable, than rejecting what feels strange or unfamiliar.    

           Don Quixote’s sensation-seeking and restless personality, as well as his lofty ideals, are the drivers of his misguided adventures. Unable to find excitement in the comfortable but mundane daily life of a landed country gentleman, he sets out to right all the wrongs in the world in the most chivalrous and valiant manner he can imagine. His ambitious goals are unobtainable, though, and so he remains chronically dissatisfied.    

           In contrast, Sancho’s goals (cheese and wine) are simple, and they are also reliable and immediately achievable. Sancho will inevitably have some difficult emotions, like every other human, that will prevent him from being consistently happy. But he will be less inclined to express his occasional periods of distress in complex existential terms – and they are unlikely to nag and torture him in the same way.    

           On one level, then, Sancho’s personality seems better suited than Don Quixote’s for achieving a satisfactory level of psychological wellbeing. But we need to consider the fact that Quixote’s tortured loftiness will also afford him occasional moments of ecstasy that Sancho will never experience. Quixote will sample all the many wondrous highs – and lows – of existence.    

Choleric Quixote

           Quixote has a type of personality that Galen, the Greek physician of classical times, would have labelled as “choleric”: passionate, charismatic, impulsive and sensation seeking. He also has an extremely rich, but equally unstable, inner life, which produces copious amounts of fantasy and emotion.    

           Soon after the second world war, a London-based psychologist called Hans Eysenck developed another personality theory that included the dimensions of extroversion and neuroticism. Quixote is high in extroversion (he engages constantly with the external world) and high in neuroticism (his emotional life is unstable and intense), a combination that would be the equivalent of Galen’s choleric personality.    

           Sancho is, of course, the exact opposite. He could be described as “phlegmatic” in Galen’s classification: he is generally introverted, and being perfectly steady in emotional terms, he would certainly score very low on neuroticism. He does not view the world through the filter of a rich but volatile inner life, and instead sees ordinary windmills where Quixote sees formidable giants.    

Don Quixote and Sancho Panza. Photo from Shutterstock.

           Personality types have been found to be predictors of psychological wellbeing in a way that could be considered relatively intuitive. Essentially, there is a positive correlation between happiness and extroversion and a negative one between happiness and neuroticism. Quixote is more neurotic than Sancho, but he is also more extroverted. The two will find and experience moments of happiness in different ways.    

           On one level, what we need to be happy is a stable (low neuroticism) and outgoing (extrovert) character. But that’s not the whole story. Those of us who see ourselves as a little more neurotic than we would ideally like – and perhaps not quite as sociable as some others – can find comfort in the knowledge that a busy and lively inner life, coupled with an inquisitive nature, can be associated with certain types of creativity.    

           The idea of happiness as a state of placidity and serenity, facilitated by a stable and untroubled psychological makeup, is persuasive. But it ignores perhaps the upper and more intense limits of human experience – and these have a power all their own. Cervantes novel, after all, is called “Don Quixote”, not “Sancho Panza”.    

Self-Actualisation

           You also mention “self-actualisation” in your question. When Abraham Maslow, the celebrated American psychologist, placed self-actualisation at the top of his hierarchy of human needs, he thought of it as a positive drive for developing one’s personal potential. Your own personal potential, Brenda, will be different to that of your partner.    

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. Credit: Factoryjoe via Wikimedia Commons, CC BY-SA.

           Maslow thought that more basic needs had to be satisfied before moving up to the next level – water and food before safety, then love, self-esteem and only then self-actualisation. But subsequent research shows that humans don’t always do this in the anticipated order and that satisfying different levels of need either simultaneously, or in the “wrong order”, doesn’t seem to affect wellbeing significantly. This explains how those living in poor countries can also satisfy their psychological needs even when the fulfilment of more basic needs is uncertain.    

           In any case, having a set of needs – hierarchical or not – inevitably puts us in a needy position, and the relationship between striving to better ourselves and happiness is not a simple one. Maslow himself struggled in his personal life with issues such as racism (he was Jewish) and an awful relationship with his mother, whom he hated.    

Pain and Pleasure

           Research shows that factors such as poverty, pain and loneliness make us unhappy, and it is equally clear that pleasures of any kind contribute towards our sense of wellbeing.    

           The 19th-century British thinker John Stuart Mill postulated in simple terms that happiness is “intended pleasure, and the absence of pain” while unhappiness is “pain, and the privation of pleasure”.    

           Like Maslow and his hierarchy of needs, Mill also saw a similar hierarchy in pleasure, with the physiological at the bottom and the spiritual at the top. He also advised against too much introspection in matters of happiness, saying:    

                   Ask yourself if you are happy and you cease to be so.            

           I suspect you ask yourself this question at times, Brenda. And even though Mill saw happiness as being predicated by pleasure and pain, he also hinted that being human, with all that this implies, may bring a dissatisfaction that would be preferable to mere contentment.    

           Don Quixote is a dissatisfied man and his ambitions to achieve his glorious goals are always frustrated. He has, however, certain characteristics that have been found to be associated with happiness: an optimistic attributional style and an internal “locus” (place) of control.    

The key to happiness? Photo from Shutterstock.

           Don Quixote’s “internal locus of control” means that he feels in control of his destiny (despite all the evidence to the contrary). Control resides within him. His “optimistic attributional style”, meanwhile, refers to the fact that he always ascribes his failures to transient external forces, rather than to permanent internal issues.    

           Sancho, on the other hand, has a reactive attitude to life. He doesn’t have any fantasies about being in control of his destiny, which he believes is in the lap of the gods. “The lucky man has nothing to worry about,” he says.    

           So, in this respect at least, Don Quixote, driving his own fortune and making his own luck, is probably happier in his quest, however frustrating, than Sancho is in his passive contentment.    

Contentment Versus Happiness

           The difference between contentment and happiness, or to be more precise, the incompatibility that exists between a state of permanent contentment and being human, has also been explored in modern novels, written centuries after Miguel de Cervantes’ Don Quixote, such as The Time Machine by HG Wells or Brave New World by Aldous Huxley.    

           Some of the characters in these future dystopias, where pain and suffering have been eradicated, are perfectly placid, even content. But their insipid pseudo-happiness, devoid of choice or intense emotion, is less desirable than our own imperfect emotional tribulations – at least according to the authors.    

           Indeed, our ability to feel happy is affected by a variety of personality factors and temperamental attitudes, not by just one single dimension of placidity versus psychological restlessness, or even optimism versus pessimism.    

           But does it matter anyway? Whether we are “half-empty” or “half-full” personalities, none of us is designed to be happy – only, ultimately, to survive and reproduce. Consequently, we will all battle with frequent unpleasant emotions, whatever our temperament.    

           It is good, Brenda, that you haven’t given up your efforts to grow as a person and that you remain hungry for knowledge. Even if I told you that there is a better strategy for happiness, that you should be content with watching television and little else, I am pretty certain you wouldn’t want that.    

           You need to continue being who you are, even if being who you are doesn’t transport you to a state of sustained and uninterrupted psychological bliss. Our nature is to chase the teasing and elusive butterfly of happiness, not always to capture it. Happiness can’t be bottled and bought and sold.    

           It can, however, be a journey – and this never-ending quest includes you, Brenda, as well as your partner. And perhaps we can all find comfort in the knowledge that our nagging dissatisfaction is a key part of what makes us human.    

Rafael Euba is a Consultant and Senior Lecturer in Old Age Psychiatry at King's College London.

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