#i also am a big nose kisser god like how can i not want to kiss that ughhh

[sapphicsnzs]

there’s something so intimate about noses. nose kisses are so underrated. the way noses brush each other and scrunch while kissing. rubbing noses together as a way to show affection. the classic nose boop. all of which can be used to tickle someone’s nose.

[ushiwakaout]

YOUR SERIES FOR THE THINGS YOU THINK HAIKYU BOYS WOULD SAY IS SO GOOD!! Do you write for Tsukishima? Cuz if yes I would really like to know what you think he would say...

thank you, thank you 🥺💖

*sigh* highkey wanting to avoid tsukishima stuff bc i don’t wanna fall deeper into a simp hole

but i guess i’ll do it 🙄 thank fucking god you asked for this bc honestly i was going a little crazy bc i fucking love him so much god fucking damnit

for my sake, y’all are married and you’re a photographer

“mmm, stop poking me.” (7:00 am)

“Hey, i said stop touching.”

“what time is it?”

“No i don’t have practice today... i have school.”

“Not until tonight, so let me sleep.”

“Come back here, i don’t need breakfast right now.”

“Hey i might be slim but i will throw you back in bed if you don’t come back.”

“Wake me up again in like an hour.”

“Mmm, i said wake me up not smother me in kisses.” (8:20 am)

“What’s for breakfast.”

“I’m in the mood for some coffee and a shortcake.”

“What do you mean that’s not breakfast.”

“You may be my spouse but you cannot deny me shortcake.”

“If you forbid shortcake then a want divorce.”

“If you made me pick, i would want a divorce, because it’s like making you pick between me or [your favorite dessert] it’s just evil.”

“I’m not gonna kiss you unless we go get shortcake....”

*motherfucker has such a fucking mood when he wakes up. ESPECIALLY WHEN HE DOESNT GET WHAT HE WANTS. he’s baby but he’s also a bitch*

“have you seen my glasses? i cant see.”

“if you don’t give them to me i’m gonna make you read the menu outloud to me like a crazy person”

“ready for go? i’m starting to get hungry.” (9:00 am)

“are you not going to hold my hand?”

“fine if you get hit by a bike or a car, it’s not my problem.”

“hey actually it will be my problem because i married you, now hold my hand or else i’ll the one pushing you.”

“i’m not an asshole.”

“i’m ordering two cakes, i’m not giving you any of you don’t order for yourself.”

*you don’t order for yourself and just kinda fiddle w his jacket*

“Can i get three strawberry shortcakes and two black coffees, one iced please.”

“Nope you’re not getting the third one.”

*proceeds to eat the two and fiddles with the third*

“Have it, i’d be a waste if you didn’t eat it.”

*if you don’t eat it he will get both physically and mentally upset*

*very much loves seeing you munch down on his favorite dessert*

“Can we go now? I need to study for a test before class.” (10:30 am)

“you’re gonna get hit by a bike, get closer.”

“I wanna get our rings cleaned, their looking a little dirty.”

“So what if it’s only been a year, you know i don’t take it off unless it’s for a match, then i wear the flimsy black one.”

*the ring he gave you was his grandmothers so he’s always fiddling with it when he holds your hand*

“I’m sitting next to you while you edit your pictures, so you can’t complain.” (11:00 am)

*very distracted when he studies because he keeps glancing at you with your tongue out a little while you edit*

*will pinch your tongue*

“It belongs in your mouth.”

*WILL BLUSH OF YOU RESPOND, “so does yours” he will malfunction and flick you’re forehead*

“can you make me a snack?”

“dino crackers will do.”

“hey, don’t make fun of me, you always eat these too. now pass me my crackers.”

“Are you gonna stay alone like a weirdo or are you gonna walk to me the station” (1:00 pm)

“Hurry up and give me a kiss before it’s your fault i miss the train.”

“If you don’t let me go i’m just gonna kiss you again.”

“Idiot let go, i’m gonna be late because of you.”

“Give me another one, you gotta reach for it tho.”

*will laugh in your face before bending down to kissing the tip of your nose*

“Don’t get yourself kidnapped on the way home.”

“What are you doing here? You brought me lunch?” (3:00 pm)

*friends starts asking him who you are*

“My spouse, now stop staring.”

*proceeds to grab your left hand with his to low key show of your rings*

“Let’s go, i’m hungry.”

“Thank you for the food... it was good, could have had less...”

*can’t figure out what to say because it was actually really good but he won’t tell you*

“Could have had less love, that’s what.”

“Stop giggling at me.”

“Hey give me back my-”

*you always take his glasses off before you kiss him, don’t know how he hasn’t caught on yet*

“That was... okay.” (4:00 pm)

“You brought me a shortcake?”

“Wow you do love me.”

“I knew a married you for a reason.”

“You want some?”

“Say ah, no i’m gonna feed you now shut up.”

“Come with me to class, they don’t mind if you’re quiet.”

*will fiddle with your hands when you sit next to him*

*holds your thigh under the desk*

“Stop taking pictures of me.”

“I want coffee again, do you wanna walk to the café?” (6:00 pm)

“I’m hungry again... What? I’m a big boy, leave me alone.”

“Hey if you can reach my hand i’ll buy you a cat.”

*puts his 6’6 wingspans arm up in the air, mind you his hand would probably be up to 6’10*

*Takes pictures of you at the cat café so he can see which one is your favorite for future reference*

“No you couldn’t reach, i’m not getting you a cat”

*fucking liar has been planing on getting u a cat for a good while*

“Just go order the stuff and we’ll head home.” (7:00 pm)

“Sit on the couch with me, we’ll watch a movie.”

*puts on the good dinosaur*

“What? Shut up, it’s a good movie”

“What, no- I’m not crying- you are.”

*flicks your nose*

“See you’re crying too”

“I’m not a bully, you’re a bully.”

“Shut up or i’ll kiss you.”

*will kiss you anyway*

*it doesn’t seem like it but he isn’t a forceful kisser, very soft, long and hot kisses are his go to.*

“I’m gonna shower again, school stressed me out.”

“Take a bath with me” (9:30 pm)

*in the bath his knees are usually always out so he can just hold you while you sit in front of him*

*becomes very soft at night especially when it’s just alone time with you*

*starts kissing your hair, will lightly tease you by massaging your neck and then slowly wrapping his fingers around your neck so he can push your chin up to look at him and he kisses you*

“i know i should say it more but i love you and i know you love me too, and i would trade that for an endless supply of shortcake.”

“See i’m not always a jerk.”

*in bed, he’s the small spoon bc he wants to listen to your heartbeat*

*needs skin to skin contact so his hands are always under your shirt (his shirt) roaming around your back*

“Stop squirming.”

*if you can’t sleep, this man will fuck you to sleep. doesn’t matter what fucking time it is, he gets annoyed and ask why you didn’t tell him sooner so he can fuck you so good*

“Go to sleep or i’ll sleep in the spare”

*lies he hates sleeping alone*

*also... records your reacton while he’s fucking you bc you’re never in front of the camera so he wants you to know how you feel*

*kisses your forehead and then falls asleep to the sound of your breathing*

[melatovnik]

hi, can u rec other sbwy fics?

yes i most certainly can!

below under the cut is a selection of very good sbwy (and sgwy) fics, i.e., wangxian fics where wwx experiences compulsory heterosexuality. by no means is it a comprehensive list of all the excellent fics of this genre, because i'm a super slow reader and simply haven't gotten to them all yet, but these are just the ones i've read and enjoyed so far. of course, mind all tags/content warnings etc you know what's up

~ the Straight Boy Wei Ying universe series by raitala | rated E | 36K words total | i know this ask was prompted by my earlier rec of this series but i'll include it here anyway. a very charming wonderful story, with extremely massively hot sex scenes

Sit down next to me | 7K words

Lan Zhan has been in love with his tragically straight best friend Wei Ying forever. So what if some girl says Wei Ying is a bad kisser? Lan Zhan has to prove to Wei Ying that this is incorrect. Because Lan Zhan is a good friend. He out does himself.

If I hadn't seen such riches | 29K words

Sequel to "Sit down next to me" - if you haven't read this all you need to know is that Wei Ying thinks he is straight. He just really likes his best friend Lan Zhan. Who is incidentally a really great kisser. Who also made him come in his pants one time. Who also has a *really* big dick, which Wei Ying sucked one time, but, like, in an experimental way, not in a gay way. They are just really good friends, right? Lan Zhan is the best. Lan Zhan is crying inside.

~ Keep Up by mimilamp | rated E | 27K words | i actually just read this one today and wwhfoohgkhdghihHHHHHHhghhhhhhgh 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 INSTANT FAVE. MUST READ.

“She was going to kiss me,” Wei Ying says, muffled, into his hands.

Lan Zhan makes sure he keeps his breaths even. “Hm,” he says. Wei Ying looks up at him, wild: a little tipsy, perhaps. Confused, in a panic. His mouth is red like he’s been kissed—he hasn’t. He’s a lip biter, has a habit of picking at his dry lips, the winter sores at the corner of his mouth. It drives Lan Zhan to madness. He dreams of Wei Ying’s puffy mouth, often, sometimes with the real Wei Ying in a sleeping bag on the floor next to his bed. On mornings like those he wakes up in a cloud of embarrassment—hobbling to the bathroom at dawn, running a loud shower to hide the sounds. Wei Ying sleeps on.

“How do I—” Wei Ying starts, stops. He then lets out a single laugh, another. He says: “Oh my god. How do I kiss? Lan Zhan, how do I kiss?”

*

Or: Wei Ying has a girlfriend now. Wei Ying doesn't want his best friend to lag behind.

~ A Brilliant Idea by FrameofMind | rated E | 25K words | good for you wei ying

The one where Wei Ying (straight) and Lan Zhan (gay) make a shared tinder account to save money, because Wei Ying has brilliant ideas.

(Wei Ying has terrible ideas.)

~ worth it for the feeling by occultings | rated E | 8K words | they're both girls in this one! "straight" girl wei ying 🥰

“I’ve never gotten off with another person,” Wei Ying says that night, apropos of nothing.

~ ready to run by detectorist | rated E | 21K words | really really enjoyed the plot and atmosphere and everything in this story

“You should make a Tinder account for campaigning,” Nie Huaisang says.

Wei Ying chokes out, “What?”

“Sounds like an absolutely terrible idea,” Jiang Cheng says flatly.

“No, it’s a great idea!” Nie Huaisang insists. “You just swipe right on everyone and then send them a message about how they should vote for you. You’re hot, Wei Ying! People will definitely match with you and then you can swoop in and hit them with the politics!”

“I don’t even have Tinder,” Wei Ying protests. He’d downloaded the app in first year but had quickly deleted it after a girl responded to his message of wanna get a drink with yeah sure, what time?

“That can be easily fixed,” Nie Huaisang says.

—

Wei Ying downloads Tinder to help him campaign for his student union election. He gets a little more than he bargained for.

~ drop the game by martyrsdaughter | rated E | 28K words | cheerleader wwx + jock lwj + fake dating + practice kissing + insane sexual tension = me, flattened like a cartoon character after getting run over by a truck

Wei Ying grabs a pen from Lan Zhan’s desk, curling his legs into a lotus pose under the arms of the chair so he can easily spread the journal out across his lap. Even upside down, Lan Zhan can read his large, messy characters scrawled across the top: Lan Zhan + Wei Ying’s Rules for Dating.

Perhaps this was a bad idea.

~ big hands (i know you're the one) by martyrsdaughter | rated E | 8K words | WHOOF 🥵

“Not a big talker, hm?” Wei Ying tilts his head to one side. “That’s okay, I’ve been told I’m a good enough conversationalist for three. My tongue is multi-talented and—”

He has just enough time to feel her palm on the back of his neck and think, oh, her hands are so big, before his words are being stolen into her mouth.

~ Boy Trouble, We've Got Double by saltyfeathers | rated E | 60K words | LAN ZHAN???? BETHROTHED???? NOT TO WEI YING??????? it's less likely than you think! canonverse casefic, featuring tons of pining and wwx taking outrageous liberties with lwj's person, as is his right

Lan Zhan stands there in his immaculate, cloud-patterned Lan robes, watching him calmly, one fist tucked up against his back. “I am betrothed.”

Wei Wuxian blinks. “Are you…” He tries to laugh. Again, it sounds inhuman. “Is this about last night? Are you mad at me? I only remember some of it, Lan Zhan. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I’m sure whatever I did I was just—” He gestures uselessly. He remembers being warm in Lan Zhan’s lap. He remembers fitting snugly in Lan Zhan’s lap. Wrapping his arms around Lan Zhan’s neck. Nosing at his jaw. “…playing around.”

“This has nothing to do with you, Wei Wuxian.”

~ cherry ass wei ying (Chapter 3 of threadfic) by saltyfeathers | rated E

wei ying is so straight he sucks lan zhan's fingers about it.

~ all(e)y (Chapter 11 of threadfic) by saltyfeathers | rated E

prompt fill on twitter for straight boy wei ying + fake dating that ended up being too long for twitter so now it lives here in stupid silly shame. sorry the fake dating is a complete flyover state in this. to make up for it, i wrote out an entire blowjob for some reason.

~ lan zhan has fallen in fuck-love with the straight toad boy (Chapter 14 of threadfic) by saltyfeathers | rated M | there is no chapter summary provided by the author. the title says it all, really

~ wei wuxian loves mysteries! (Chapter 15 of threadfic) by saltyfeathers | rated G | a canonverse character exploration of wwx, set pre-CR (before wangxian first meet). soooo good

~ the mall that has it all by saltyfeathers | rated E | 8K words | 😳 wrow

She introduced herself in the food court, breathless after sprinting across it in Lan Zhan’s direction and vaulting over a table only to crash into the seat across from her, ask, “Can I have a sip?”, spring forward with both elbows on the table to wrap her burgundy lips around Lan Zhan’s smoothie straw, wrinkle her nose, and say, “What is that, kale? Not really my thing, as like, a mall goth. Oh!” A pleased, chaotic exhale. “My name’s Wei Ying.”

Lan Zhan said, after taking a moment to fully process the last forty-five seconds, “What?”

or;

mall goth au

~ I Wish You Would by brooklinegirl | rated E | 52K words | lan zhan fucks guys, wei ying pines, and lan zhan also pines

Lan Zhan takes a breath. His hands are in fists on his thighs. He stares down at them hopelessly, then carefully unclenches them, one finger at a time, before taking another breath and reaching for his lukewarm tea. He'll go out, tomorrow. Maybe in the late afternoon. Something quick. Something easy. He'll text his brother first, the short note of when he should be home, so he'll know to track him. He'll be fine, just like he said.

~ all that and more by Euphorion | rated E | 20K words | hot hot hot! and a classic

Wei Wuxian locks his phone and puts it down, blinks at his ceiling, and picks it up again. The pictures are still there.

His first thought is that Lan Zhan meant them for someone else. That he just woke up at—he checks the timestamp—6:30 am on a Sunday and decided to go absolute full nuclear seduction option on some poor boy he met on Grindr, who would now be missing out on the best thing to ever happen to him because Wei Wuxian had a bad habit of distracting—of—oh.

Pieces of last night start to resurface and paste themselves together in his head. He winces.

~ dreaming and getting a glimmer by verseau | rated E | 27K words | THE comphet gloryhole fic

Wei Ying discovers himself.

~ wanna feel a different kinda tension by verseau | rated E | 10K words | THE comphet watching-porn-together-and-also-wwx-jerks-lwj-off-with-his-own-freshly-used-fleshlight fic

Four times Lan Zhan walks in on his roommate masturbating.

that's all for now! happy october!

[pascalpanic]

Idk if your still looking for short requests, but I’ve really been in an Ezra mood lately and am basically dying to read more with him in it. Maybe something where he finds/meets you on a planet he’s on for one of his digs, or you get assigned to go on a dig with him? Maybe some smut because he’s been lonely and he usually works alone but having the reader so close to him frustrates the hell out of him?

(You totally don’t have to write this if you don’t wanna, but thank you for doing these! I love your writing!)

Twelve Hours To Pickup (Ezra x f!Reader)

Summary: You and Ezra have twelve hours before your shuttle picks you up. Twelve hours with nothing to do.

W/C: 2.3k

Warnings: SMUT 18+, oral (f receiving), fingering, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it, kiddos), dom/sub elements but not really, lots of dirty talk, reader uses she/her pronouns and is afab. oh, also language ig. one or two spanks.

A/N: YEET this is my first ezra fic and it’s horny but here we go. We’ve been on a smut kick lately but I’m here for it! I was actually really anxious to both write and post this but here we are!

Ezra is a man of extreme amounts of willpower. He can do anything he sets his mind to. Hell, he was conscious while a teenage girl literally sawed his fucking infected arm off. When Ezra is determined, he is not to be fucked with.

That being said, being in such close proximity to you is driving him up the fucking wall.

It’s not like you’re even that close to him. You’re both wearing thick spacesuits, complete with filters and helmets to provide oxygen and keep dangerous air particles out. You’re not exactly doing the most romantic activity either: you’re harvesting aurelac. It’s a disgusting process, gooey shit covering your gloved arms. You’re both experienced prospectors, but it makes you gag every time you do it. Of course you had to be assigned to the biggest mouth in the fucking galaxy.

“What seems to be the matter, little bird?” Ezra coos, smirking. “Such an experienced woman should have no such issue with a minor impediment.”

You shoot him a glare. “Can you talk using smaller words? You sound like you ate a dictionary and you’re vomiting back up,” you snap as you wipe the gunk off your arm and start the process of removing the gem.

Ezra smiles this time. “My sincerest apologies, my gem. I simply verbalize in this manner out of habit.”

You roll your eyes and continue. “I’d hate to hear what you sound like in bed,” you shoot back.

He walks closer to you, abandoning the current rock he’s removing, surprisingly nimbly considering he only has one arm. “Is that so, little bird?”

You raise your eyebrows. “Stop calling me that and get back to your fucking work, Ezra. You still have one functioning hand, make the best of it.”

The man pouts at you, placing his hand over his heart. “My dear, you’ve wounded my wretched little heart with such a comment.”

“Could’ve said ouch and moved on. I’m not gonna kiss it better, even if I might like to,” you smirk at him, shooing him away with your hand.

The man’s face bears a salacious smirk. “What was that?” He asks.

“Wow, that was the shortest sentence I’ve ever heard you say.” You spray the gem with the liquid in the bottle. “Go do your part and maybe I’ll consider spending a little time with you later.”

Ezra bites his lower lip and stalks off back to his share.

-

You’re almost back at the pod. You’ve walked in silence this entire time, not daring to speak and feed the fire that’s burning between the two of you. When the pod is in sight, Ezra’s last reserve breaks, burns the wick and lights the dynamite. “Well, my dove? Has my share of the aurelac satisfied your standards?” He asks, walking next to you again.

You look over at the container. He harvested significantly more than you did, which further proves your knowledge that he’s fantastic at prospecting. It’s no surprise, you suppose, but it is intriguing. Your eyes travel from the case to his dusty brown eyes, staring back at you. You smirk, and tilt your head. “I’m not sure. Get out of that space suit first and we can see.”

He bites his lip to hold back from spouting off more words. It doesn’t work for long. “Oh, does my eloquence excite you, little bird?” He asks, walking side by side with you now.

“Don’t push it,” you laugh and climb into the pod. The two of you pass through the airlock and you finally strip your space suit off, leaving you in the jumpsuit beneath it.

Ezra does the same. One shoulder is knotted off just below where his arm was severed. His jumpsuit clings tight to his chest, which is muscular, from the sweat inside the suit. He examines you just the way you examine him.

The two of you deposit your aurelac in the corner before finding yourselves standing together. You look over at him. “When is our shuttle coming?”

He looks at the digital watch on his wrist, then back at you. “We have at least 12 hours,” he says, head tilted down but those big eyes looking up. At you.

You pretend to look off and consider something else. “We finished the harvest in record time. I wonder how we could pass the remaining hours,” you sigh, though you both know it’s teasing. You know exactly what you want.

“My dove,” Ezra breathes, a warm hand cupping your face. “I want you.”

Somehow, it’s even hotter when he doesn’t use those big words. “I want you too,” you sigh and your lips crash to his desperately. He pushes you against the wall.

It’s hot and sloppy and desperate. The man is a fantastic kisser, his lips moving perfectly in sync to yours. The pod has busted air conditioning, making it as hot as the surrounding planet, but neither of you care. There’s sweat dripping from your face and from is, and there’s a mutual understanding that that doesn’t matter now. You need each other, badly.

His tongue presses against the seam of your lips and you open your mouth, allowing him in. He groans at the sensation as you rock your hips into his, desperately grinding. He pulls away for a second, his brows scrunching together in the pleasure. “Little bird,” he exhales. “Do you have the implant?”

You nod. “You?”

“But of course. Where would you prefer to be ravished, my glorious being?” He asks, lips finding the skin of your neck and sucking a mark into the tender spot behind your ear.

You cry out and fall back against the wall. “Wherever. Anywhere. Please, Ezra.”

He smacks your ass, making you yelp out even though it only increases the wetness between your thighs. “Make a decision, my dove.”

You’re panting already, and he hasn’t even done anything. “Right here. Right now. Against the wall.”

He smirks at that, nipping into your skin. “Oh, so ruttish for me,” he groans. “Desperate for me to take you.”

“Yes,” you nod, giving into his domineering attitude. “Please, please,” you cry, and he bites the collar of your jumpsuit and unzips the front, pushing it from your shoulders. Your chest is now only covered by a sports bra. You help him remove it and toss it aside, leaving just your lower half covered.

Ezra groans and feels himself harden even further as he sees your chest. “Oh, those exquisite breasts,” he groans, sinking to his knees. He forces you to bend a little as his lips find your nipple, sucking and tugging on it with his teeth. You cry out at the feeling, hands pressed to the wall, and he chuckles. His hand finds your other nipple, rolling it between his fingers. He bites at the skin of your breast, leaving a mark.

He goes lower. His tongue traces your stomach, dipping into your navel. He bites at your stomach too. The man likes to bite, that much is clear. He’s been surprisingly quiet since he’s put his mouth on you.

Ezra shoves down the rest of your jumpsuit and your panties, helping you step out of them before he tosses them aside. His hand firmly grips your thigh, and he kisses up the inside of the soft skin. “May I?” He asks, right before he reaches the pinnacle.

“Please,” you breathe, and he tosses one of your legs over his shoulder.

He’s skilled. That much is easily seen- or, felt- when he instantly latches onto your clit, swirling his tongue around it and sucking on it. His hand comes to your entrance, teasing it slowly with the pad of a finger. You cry out at the feeling and he takes it as your invitation to push two thick fingers inside of you.

As you bite your lip, he looks up at you and smirks. His two fingers are inside of you, and he pulls his mouth away. “Little bird, restraint is the furthest from necessary. There’s not a soul to hear those sultry noises you’re making,” he reminds you before going back to lapping at your clit masterfully.

His fingers curl against that perfect spot deep inside of you, making you cry out in ecstasy. “Ezra,” you whimper.

He smirks and hums a happy sound into you, nudging your clit with his nose as he moves his tongue lower to poke at your entrance, along with his two fingers. He’s pushing them harder and harder, and you bury a hand in his hair, the heel of your hand over his blonde patch. “Fuck, I’m gonna cum,” you warn him, and he just goes harder.

It’s all too much. You cry out his name and grip his hair as your orgasm washes over you, making your toes curl in the boots that remain on you.

He continues steadily through your orgasm, pulling away and sucking on his own fingers once you’re finished. “The nectar of the gods between your thighs,” he murmurs to you, a content smirk on his face. “Are you going to let me destroy you against this wall, my dear?”

You shudder, nodding. “Need your cock. I bet it’s big, isn’t it?” You ask, smirking down at him and running a hand through his hair, toying with his blonde patch.

He shrugs. “Now isn’t the time to play humble, Ezra,” you laugh, removing your leg from his shoulder and pulling him up to kiss him deeply. It’s hot and sloppy again, but slower. Deeper. You moan into his lips and cup his hardened dick, which tents against his jumpsuit.

“Little bird,” he shudders.

You break away and start to unzip his flight suit. You push it off his shoulder and it hangs at his waist, exposing strong a abdomen littered with scars. “Fuck,” you chuckle happily and kiss him again. You push it the rest of the way, along with his boxers, and it exposes his dick. It is large, you were correct, long and maddeningly thick. “Oh, fuck,” you moan again as he steps out of it.

Ezra grabs your hip and turns you around, pushing you into the wall again. His large hand takes both of your wrists and pins them to the wall. “Is that resplendent pussy prepared for me?” He asks, and you nod. “Say it,” he demands, biting your shoulder.

“Fuck! Yes, yes Ezra,” you nod, spreading your stance to allow him between your legs.

“Don’t move them,” he orders you as he lets go of your hands for a moment. With his hand, he lines himself up, notching the tip with your entrance before grabbing your wrists again. “I crave those maddening noises, little bird. Don’t you dare be quiet while I’m destroying that pretty pussy.”

With that, he pushes in. He’s thick, and the stretch is delicious. “Ezra,” you cry out, loving the way the name sounds when it rolls off your tongue. “Don’t hold back, please.”

“I couldn’t if I dreamed of it, dearest,” he groans as he fully sheathes himself deep within you. “So fuckin’ tight for me,” he shudders.

Your hands struggle against his, but his strength wins. “Don’t even think about it,” he orders, gritting his teeth as he pulls fully out then pushes all the way back in. It’s quick and rough as he gets started and it doesn’t slow down.

“Harder, please,” you urge him, pushing your ass back against him.

He nods. “Anything your heart desires, little bird,” he coos and licks a hot stripe up your neck, ending behind your ear where he nips at your earlobe.

You’re helpless to his ministrations as he pounds into you, and it feels like heaven. He lets go and your hands move in front of your face to support yourself against the wall.

You need it when a second later, his thick fingers are circling your clit. You cry out and he smirks. “Good girl, little birdie. Taking me so nicely.”

The words and the feeling is becoming too much. A hot haze fills your head as you approach your orgasm, accidentally squeezing around him.

He almost cums from the sensation. “Just when I thought that pussy couldn’t get any tighter,” he laughs breathlessly. “Let go, my dear. Squeeze me tight and tell me how good I make you feel.”

You nod frantically and moments later, you finally reach your peak, crying out his name and gushing around his dick. “Fuck, so good, so big,” you whine, your head falling back onto his shoulder.

The way you flutter around him is just too much. “Good girl,” he grunts, thrusting harder and harder and slightly more sporadically. “Gonna cum inside you, my good girl, show this pussy who it belongs to.”

“All yours, Ezra,” you whimper as the feeling fades, and you can tell that he’s close.

You clench hard and he falls apart, shooting his hot seed deep inside you. “Ah, little bird,” he cries out, his legs wobbling and nearly failing to hold him up as it takes him over.

When he’s finished, he groans as he pulls out. His cum drips from you and onto your flight suit, between your legs and on the floor. The sight makes Ezra shudder, and he smacks your ass one more time for good measure. “Good girl,” he mumbles and nips your neck one more time, walking off to the refresher of the pod.

“Just going to leave me here?” You ask, laughing breathlessly, slumped into the wall. Your legs are barely strong enough to walk.

He returns moments later with a damp rag. “Of course not. I must treat you well and praise you, after you took my cock so well.”

His words make you shudder again. He can feel it as he wipes the insides of your thighs. “Little bird, aroused again already? Need me again?”

“Maybe,” you chuckle and bite the inside of your cheek.

He groans and presses a soft kiss to the apex of your inner thigh. “Later. We do have twelve more hours, after all.”

-

taglist:

@remmysbounty @mishasminion360 @softly-sad @blo0dangel @luxurybeskar @binarydanvvers  @sleep-tight1 @apascalrascal @randomness501 @spideysimpossiblegirl @notabotiswear @pedro-pastel @sanchosammy @lv7867

[btsmakesmehappy]

Sweet Scent | 3

Genre: Agent au. Colleague au. Mutual pining. fluff. Angst. Light smut.

Pairing: Agent!Jungkook x Forensic Doctor!reader

Word Count: 7,3

Rating: 18+ (M)

Warning: little spoiler for the next story. Mention of guns. Kissing-make out without consent. JK is drunk-kisser boi. But not too descriptive.

Chapter: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | completed

Summary: Why does he always look so nervous in front of you? Is it because of your excessive flirting? But how come you don’t tease him when he looks so incredibly cute every time he blushes? 

Series Masterlist: The Company

A/N: Thankyou @arizonapoppy​ to beta-read mine! I love you. And to you all who reading this story, I am very grateful. Also I’ll be more grateful if you send me asks about how you think about this story. I know, this is taking too long to write, but I enjoyed it!

“Come on! Just show me!” you begged.

“I told you right? That’s impossible to use that gun at such a far distance,” the female agent said with hands on her hips. She looked relaxed in this firing range, even though it smelled terrible, sweat mixed with gunpowder, in contrast with you who kept scrunching your nose.

You pouted. “Just do it. It’s an order,” you said sternly, but still, your eyes kept avoiding her eyes and you kept fiddling the hem of your shirt nervously. You cleared your throat when you met her gaze. “Please?” 

The female agent laughed at your quirk, which she found it cute. “That’s why those male agents all fell for you.”

You tilted your head, “I’m sorry, what?”

“Nothing. Fine, I’ll show you.” The female agent put her earmuffs and took a gun on the desk, then walked to the firing line. She positioned herself and aimed at the dummy. “Close your ears.”

With that instruction, you brought your fingers to your ears, closing them as tightly as you could. Your mouth gawked as she did it so beautifully, hitting the target easily.

Your amazement was interrupted by a sudden bulky man behind you.

“Wow, you are always this good, aren’t you?”

The female agent removed her earmuffs and walked to him. “Hey Kook, what are you doing here?”

Kook, the man in question, beamed a wide smile, his eyes crinkling at the same time. “I want to help you; also I want to see you shooting. Can you teach me again?”

She giggled at the younger man, ruffling his hair. “You don’t need me, you do it just fine!”

“Noona- come on!” he whined as he tried to sneak his head away from her hand.

You couldn’t help but smile at that sight. You couldn’t believe what you saw. He was bulky, wrapped in a leather jacket, why did he sound so adorable?

“Fine, let’s see how well you shoot then.”

His eyes changed suddenly when he was behind those firearms. Your heart raced, and not because of the sound of the firearms blazing on your ears. This man was somehow captivating. You couldn’t help looking at him. And when he stopped shooting, you walked closer to him.

“Hey!” you yelled as the effect of the firing sounds still ringing in your ears. “What’s your name?”

The man turned his body to face you, his face turned red, and aghast. You felt confused in the way he reacted, but still, you found him adorable.

“Jung-Jungkook. Jeon Jungkook.” he stuttered.

Jeon Jungkook, the name fell on your lips.

It just somehow felt right.

“Are you sure you want to work? It’s gonna be hard for you to type anything.” Jungkook faces you, his eyebrows furrow in worry. You are both in the elevator. After that incident, he decided that you should work on the seventh floor. You’re not gonna complain about it anyway. Since your office was trashed, you can barely stand to work at your desk anymore. Well, it’ll take a good amount of time for you to gladly work at your desk again.

You look at your bandaged hands, slightly clenching them. “Argh,” you cry in pain. Jungkook immediately takes your hands, examining them right there. “I’m kidding,” you say as you poke your tongue out.

He pouts but still holds your hands gently. “That’s not funny.”

“I’m sorry. But you’re just so cute worrying like that.” You bite your lower lips, trying to hide your smile.

He drops your hands and turns his back to you. “I’m not cute.” He stomps away from the elevator as you follow behind him.

“Please don't be mad at me.” He walks faster since his legs are longer than yours. You begin to speed-walk to match his pace. “Kook, wait for me!” And as you are finally just behind him, you reach his elbow, trying to catch his attention, but the pain starts shooting through your hand. You bite your lips to hide your wince.

You hope that he doesn’t hear you, but not only is he good at fighting, he has sensitive ears too. Jungkook turns back and sighs. He reaches for your hands, stroking them lightly to soothe the pain. “I’m not mad… Just please be careful.” He carefully looks at your hands and his eyes widen when he spots a red spot on the bandages. “It’s still bleeding. Let’s just go to the hospital. I think you need stitches.”

“I don’t need to. The cuts are not deep, really.” You retract your hands from him, but he stops you.

He holds your hands again, not wanting to let you go. “That’s what Jimin said! We need to know what professionals will say about your wound.”

“Kook,” you look at his eyes. “I’m literally a doctor.”

He pouts again. “It doesn’t change anything. We need to go to the hos-”

“I’m fine, Kook. It’s just a little painful sometimes,” you interrupt. “Only because the wounds are still fresh. It’ll be better over time.”

“Really? Are you sure you’re okay?”

You smile. “I’m sure.”

Jungkook sighs and brings your hands to his lips. “Please stop making me worry, I beg you...” he says it softly, not loud enough to make you hear it. When he realizes what he’s done, his cheeks turn red as he drops both of your hands immediately and walks away.

Your heart aches, longing for the lost touch. Longing for the warmth enveloping your hands again.

It is weird how he just does it so easily. Only a few hours ago, he couldn’t even stay with you comfortably in the same place. And now? He just holds you like it is a usual thing for him. It is weird that your heart keeps skipping a beat whenever he touches you. It is weird how he makes hope blooming inside your chest.

You just can’t get used to it yet.

You’re used to being with a shy-Jungkook, and when he drastically changes, a thought begins to circulate in your mind, trying to find some reasonable reasons. 

Maybe he simply feels guilty. There’s no way Jungkook will like you.

“I think we should work in the meeting room. Your stuff is there, right?” He opens the door for you, gesturing for you to come in.

“Ye-yeah.” You stutter as he raises an eyebrow at your sudden silence. Well, to you, he is the weirder one, you should be the one who looks at him quizzically.

You sigh as you sit in the meeting room, opening some of the reports. You shake your head to clear your mind. There’s no time to think about this kind of thing. You worked so hard for this case. Let’s just get it done, and move on. This isn’t some romance novel, for god sakes! Control your mind, Y/N!

You try to ignore Jungkook’s presence beside you by drowning yourself in work. Not only that it’s hard, it’s simply impossible. Just the way he props his chin on his hand, looking at you working, it is too distracting.

“Why do you want to be a forensic doctor?” he asks abruptly.

Your jaw drops as you turn to face him. “What is this? Are you interviewing me now?”

He shrugs. “I am just curious.”

You blink your eyes several times in disbelief. “Because I like it?”

Jungkook snorts. “Other than that.”

You bite your lip, turning silent for a moment. “I’m scared of needles,” you whisper; you feel the heat rush on your cheeks in embarrassment. “Maybe? I don’t really know. I just hate seeing my patients in pain from what I did to them and needles is one of them.”

He nods in understanding, and just as he is about to open his mouth, you interrupt him.

“You really don’t need to fill the silence with some useless conversations, you know.”

He pouts. “Why do you think it’s useless? I want to know more about you.”

You look at him weirdly. “Kook, are you okay? Did you hit yourself in the head? Or did you eat something funny?” Why are you doing this?

He sighs and presses his lips into a line. “You know what, just forget about what I said. Do you need any help?” His eyes fall to your bandaged hands.

You tilt your head in confusion. This is really weird. “I just need to copy some of those reports into the computer. You’re right, it’s kinda hard to type.”

He smiles as he moves your laptop to his side. “Let me type it.”

“Thanks, Kookie.” You said it lightly, but it somehow had an effect on him, like it’s triggering something in him, something that makes him freeze.

His face turns serious as he leans to you, turning your chair to face him and caging you with both of his arms. He is too close to you; his cologne smells cotton-powdery-fresh, sneaking softly through your nostrils.

Like newly folded-laundry.

“With one condition: please stop calling me Kookie,” he whispers closely to your ear, his sweet voice rings your eardrum, sending shivers to your spine.

Your heart races. You’re holding your breath when he moves away from you, only to look you directly in your eyes. Why does he sound like he tries to sound more manly? You clear your throat, hoping it also clears your clouded mind. “Alright, I’ll work on it myself then.” You reach for your laptop, ready to slide it to your side.

“Y/N…” He whines as he holds your arms gently. “Just please stop calling me Kookie.”

You hide your smile again. “Fine, I’ll try.”

Jungkook pouts as he begins to work with your report, with you guiding beside him. He types faster than you; you’re glad actually, since it will finish your job faster.

It’s almost afternoon and the meeting room is hotter than before. The big glass window along the wall is facing directly toward the sun at this hour. Not only does it warm the room, the sunlight also gives you an opportunity to see Jungkook’s face more carefully.

In this natural spotlight you trace his jawline, his soft lips, and his long lashes, and how his curly hair frames his face perfectly. You even see the small scar on his left cheek. It is just insane how he keeps taking your breath away. This man is definitely beautiful.

Noticing the attention on him, he turns his face to meet yours, catching you in action. His cheeks turn reddish as he finally realizes that you’ve been watching him for almost five minutes. “Wh-what?”

“You have a beautiful face, Kook.”

He blinks his eyes several times, confused with the sudden confession. He turns his eyes back to the laptop and laughs awkwardly. “And you just noticed it now?”

You snort. “That’s ridiculous. I knew it since I saw you for the first time. I just want to say it again right now.”

He chokes in his own saliva, coughing repetitively to help him calm his racing heart. “Th-thanks, I guess?”

“Why do you want to be an agent?” you ask, unconcerned that he is still struggling with his breathing. When he looks at you in disbelief, you raise your eyebrow. “You can ask me, but I can’t ask you? Uh-uh. This is a two way street, sir.”

He sighs. “Why do you want to know anyway?”

“We’ve worked together on several cases, but I barely know anything about you except for your name, your job, and until just a few hours ago, your number.” You pout. “I also want to know you better.”

“I was recruited after I won a Taekwondo competition.”

You tilt your head. “Just that? Why this Company anyway? Why not the police, or army?”

“I saw Namjoon-Hyung in the briefing.”

“Ah, you mean that tall clumsy man who has feelings for that female agent?”

Jungkook laughs at your description. “Well, first of all: even if he is that clumsy, he is maybe the most elite agent in this Company. That guy is a genius. And secondly: how do you even know about them?”

You shrug, casually rotating your chair. “Just a hunch. They have the I-want-to-kill-you attitude with I-also-want-to-rip-your-clothes-apart-in-a-sexual-way eyes whenever they’re together. So yeah, it’s not that hard to figure it out.”

His laughs don’t stop as he throws his head back and almost knocks the back of his head in the process. You’ve never heard him laughing this much before, and it is captivating. He brings his hand to wipe tears from his eyes. “Well, they’re dating now.”

You widen your eyes. “What? I thought you can’t date a colleague or another agent in this Company. You know, since the incident with Jin’s wife.”

“Well, there’s actually no rule about it though.” He furrows his eyebrow and looks at you quizzically. “I didn’t know that you know her. It happened before you’re here, right?”

“Yes, she is my senior in med school. So, yeah, I know her. We’re kinda close.” You smile as you look at the window, gazing to the buildings lay in front of you.

He hums and turns his head to where Jin sat before. “Jin-Hyung never talks about you.”

You give a bitter laugh. “Has he ever talked about her for real? Nope. And besides, I think he hates me because of what happened with his wife. Well, that’s not my business.” You turn the chair to face him. “So, do you regret working in this Company?”

Jungkook smiles and turns back to the laptop, typing the report again. “Not at all. I love working here.”

A smile beams on your face too. “I know right? It’s such a pity that I have to leave this Company soon.”

His fingers pause and he turns slowly to you. “Ar-are you leaving?”

“Yeah. My rotation is over soon. Time does fly fast, doesn’t it? It’s just like yesterday was my first day working here.”

Jungkook swallows dryly. “So where will you be working after this?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t chosen yet. Maybe I should try the posting in Australia?” Out of your sight, Jungkook tightens his hands into fists and puts them under the table. “I am gonna miss teasing you, Kook.”

Jungkook rises up from his chair suddenly, eyes facing the window. “I am gonna report to the other agents. You should double-check the report, now I’ve finished it. I’ll be right back.” He walks away from your spots at the conference table and out the door, not even glancing at you once.

You look at the door with confusion. Did I just say something wrong?

Hoseok is puzzled. Why in the world was he stuck with cleaning the trashed office? He even cleans up the problematic cadaver’s heart alone, but not without a lot of yelling and curses leaving his mouth. Yoongi is probably checking the security footage again. Jin is reporting to the higher-ups, Jungkook stays with you. And Jimin and Taehyung? They’re supposed to help him clean the office, only God knows where the hell they are.

He props his chin on the end of his broomhandle. The room is cleaner than before. He laughs bitterly. Well at least there’s no glass shards on the floor and an organ speared on someone’s desk.

His mind wanders to what Jiseok said to him before.

“Did you just think you can stop The Black by locking me here?”

Hoseok shivers. Does it really mean he has an accomplice out there? Sure, Jiseok is manipulative, but Jiseok was serious about what he said.

Hoseok sighs. There has to be something in the hall yesterday, or someone.

"Hyung. What should I do to help?" Jimin pokes his head around the door.

"How's Y/N?" Hoseok points with his elbow to another broom in the corner of the room, which Jimin takes right away.

"She's fine. She's with Jungkook right now." Jimin steps gingerly around the mess and begins sweeping the floor. "They are just so adorable together."

Hoseok laughs and plops in a chair, moving it closer to the desk with his feet. "I know, right? It's just a pity that we can’t see them together."

Jimin stomps over to him and widens his eyes. "What do you mean? Of course they’ll end up together, why wouldn't they?"

Hoseok shrugs. "Jungkook's gonna need a huge push for him to accept his own feelings and tell her. I just can't see it happening."

"Hyung, trust me. He'll tell her his feelings and they’ll date each other. Happy ending."

"Even a man like you gets scared of telling a girl that you like her. How long has it been? Ten years? No, it is longer than that, isn't it?" Hoseok asks Jimin mischievously.

Jimin pouts, a blush forming in his cheeks. "Jungkook's situation is different from mine. Just stop bringing it up! I'm telling you, Jungkook will date her."

“What are you talking about?” Taehyung asks as he casually enters the room.

“Jimin keeps telling me that Jungkook will date Y/N soon.” Hoseok rolls his eyes and tosses his broom to Taehyung.

Taehyung catches it quickly, but just puts it on the corner. He had no intention to clean the room. “Meh, I doubt it. Jungkook doesn’t even realize that he likes her. I’m starting to pity Y/N a bit. Oh let me correct, I’m starting to pity both of them.”

Hoseok laughs loudly. “See? Even Taehyung can’t see it happening.”

Jimin sighs, but he still hasn’t given up yet. He is sure about it. "Wanna bet?"

“You all should go home.”

Everyone in the meeting room looks up from the briefing packets in front of them. Your eyes widen at the sudden announcement from a fifty-something man who just barged into the room. Jimin, who had been cut off mid-sentence by the newcomer, flaps his mouth wordlessly. Why was the newcomer spouting nonsense to you and the other agents?

“But, Mr. Lee…” Jimin pleads.

Lee shoots him another glare. “You’ve done enough. You can go home now.”

You look around the meeting room. All of the agents are avoiding your gaze. No one wants to talk some sense into the man. What is this? You look back at the man in the suit in front of you. “If this is about the threat, I’m fine with it. I’ll still finish the report.”

Lee’s eyes dart to you, he has an intimidating aura coming from him. You can’t help to step backwards a little. “We’ll send Chanyeol and Wendy to the police in a few hours. Since they admitted that they killed Baekho, they’ll be under arrest for murder.”

You gulp and gather all of your courage to open your mouth. “But, Baekho was killed before that. If you give me some time to finish the report…”

“There’ll be no need for that, especially since the victim’s body is destroyed. There’s no evidence.” Lee steps forward to you. “And shouldn’t you work under Sehun’s supervision? Why are you working alone?”

“But…” you want to protest, instead Hoseok’s hand grabs your arm softly, stopping you from saying more. You bite your lips in frustration. This is just so unfair. Lee, the Boss, knows that it’s not the truth, yet he still proceeds with it.

After the Boss leaves the room, the room is still silent. You can see the look in their eyes that they don’t like it a bit, but they simply do nothing. And it only makes you madder.

In fact, you’re disappointed.

You scoff and begin to gather all of your stuff. “This is all just so fucked up.”

“Sorry, Y/N,” Jin says warily. “The higher-ups thought that it would be better like this.”

You sigh. Holding your stuff in your tiny arms, you exit the meeting room quickly, not bothering to reply to them. You’re so mad at them, mad at the boss, mad at yourself. You’re so mad that you want to cry in despair. This is so unfair.

You push the elevator button quickly and wait for it to arrive. You control your breath, trying to hold back your tears. You don’t want to cry here. You shouldn’t cry here.

You hate it. This is not the reason you chose this field. You should do something, but the fact you can do absolutely nothing is frustrating to you.

Rapid footsteps on the tile sound behind you. “Y/N...” You don’t need to turn around to face him. You know his voice too well, he’s your favorite person in this Company, but you don’t really want to see him right now. “Are you walking home? Let me give you a ride.”

“I can walk by myself,” you hiss. You do know that this is not his fault, he’s just a mere field agent after all, but you’d want him to do the right thing. Or at least, be at your side, not on the side of some man in a suit who’s just barged out of nowhere.

Jungkook sighs. He knows that you’re as stubborn as him, but still he doesn’t want to back away. Somehow, he just can’t leave you alone like this. “Please? You’re too tired anyway.”

Well, he’s not wrong. You barely slept or ate anything since the incident; your body is in pain. Sure, a ride won’t be a bad idea. You’re too tired to fight for your pride. “Fine.” 

As the elevator’s door opens, Jungkook follows you inside the elevator, snatching your reports and laptop from your hands. You are going to stop by your office to get your bag. You hesitate at first, but since your apartment’s keys are in your bag, there’s no other way.

When you arrive at your floor, you gulp. Is this a bad idea? Your heart beats faster and your hands turn clammy. You take a few deep breaths but still you feel afraid. The memory of the trashed office is fresh in your head, making you nauseous, making your hands tremble. Even the floor’s usual silence turns eerie.

Sensing your hesitation, Jungkook grabs your hand softly, guiding you out of the elevator. He walks in front of you with your hand in his. Even when you arrive in your office, he doesn’t let your hand go. His thumb draws soothing circles over your bandaged skin, slowly and carefully. No word escapes from his lips, no verbal reassurance.

Just his touch.

His warmth.

Only when both of you stop by your desk, he releases your hand. Jungkook packs your laptop in your bag quickly and slings it over his shoulder, then tidies the other reports on your desk. “Is this all?” 

You nod weakly and he takes your hand again in his. The two of you leave  your office as quietly as you entered.

His hand still holds yours when you’re back in the elevator, going down to the carpark in the basement. The only thing you can hear is your own breathing, as it quickens with your troubled mind. You’re too busy concentrating on yourself, you can’t see how Jungkook looks at you with worry. How his hand tightens every time you take a deep breath.

He finally lets go of your hand when you sit in his car, putting on your seatbelt carefully, like you’re just a little frail kid, like a fragile glass in a high table, sitting on the corner.

The car ride is also silent and feels longer than your usual car ride, well, taxi ride. You don’t have a car, so you go to work by bus or sometimes you walk, if you need exercise. There’s just a handful of occasions when you’ve been too tired to walk or take a bus, and you’d take a taxi. It’s more expensive, of course, and if you take a taxi any more often than that, your residency salary won’t leave you with a lot of money.

Again, you don’t notice how Jungkook keeps stealing glances at you, too busy with your own thoughts. You don’t notice how his fingers flutter as if to reach your hand sitting on your thigh, too busy looking at the window.

And just like that, you arrive outside your apartment.

Jungkook unbuckles your seatbelt quickly and exits the car to run around to your side. With your laptop bag on his hand, he hesitantly starts to give it to you, but then he rethinks and takes it back again. “Let me bring it to your door.”

The energy in your body is draining, you don’t bother to protest again. You just walk to the building with Jungkook tails after you. And after two flights of stairs, you arrive in front of your door, sending a tired smile to him. “Thank you, Kook.”

Jungkook sighs and scratches his neck, nervously he opens his mouth, “I’m sorry again, Y/N.”

Taking the bag from him, you shake your head. “That’s fine. You should go.”

“You need plenty of rest. I’ve already asked Sehun to give you some days off.” Just when you want to protest again, he interrupts. “It’s an order. Please, just rest.”

Sighing, you rummage your bag to find your keys. “Okay. Thank you, Kook. Have a safe trip back.”

And just like that you leave him alone in front of your door. Jungkook is frozen on the other side of your closed front door, looking at your apartment. He clenches his fist tightly until his knuckles turn white. Your tired face, your passion for your work-- he just can’t get them out of his mind.

His stomach wrenches. Not only has he brought you into danger, and got you hurt physically, now he’s worried that he’s hurt you emotionally.

He sees it in your eyes, how disappointed you are in him, in the other agents. How sad you are that you can’t do anything. How weak and useless you feel when you walk back to your apartment.

It somehow hurts him too. He doesn’t know why his heart keeps aching today, how it aches harder when he sees you, how it aches again right now. He can hear your sobbing even from outside and it makes his heart drop to the ground.

Jungkook raises his hand to knock on your door, but before he does it, he pulls it back to his side. He turns his back to your door and walks away, thinking that you may need alone time.

But that thought simply vanishes as he sits in his car. It’s his own car that he bought with his savings, his car that he cherishes the most, his car that he always washes every three days even when he is tired, but now, his own car smells like you.

And it just makes him miss you even more.

It’s Monday.

Your phone ran out of juice last night and it had been dead all night. It gave you an opportunity to sleep better without disturbance, but still you can’t feel refreshed no matter how long you sleep. It just annoys you, even though you slept right away after you cried your eyes out last night.

There’s a lot of ringing after you plug your phone into the power socket. 

Sehun 8 new message(s), 17 missed call(s)

Sejeong 2 new message(s)

Jungkook 1 new message

You automatically sit up on your bed, scrolling through the message to look at the message from Jungkook. A tiny part inside your heart wants to check Jungkook’s message first, but there’s also a part inside that is still mad at him. So you decide to check on Sehun’s messages since it can be about work anyway.

Sehun 10.29 pm: Yah. are you okay?

Sehun 10.30 pm: JK told me about what happened. I’m sorry.

Sehun 11.12 pm: Please call me back T_T

Sehun 11.53 pm: why are you ignoring my calls? T_T are you mad at me? T_T

Sehun 00.43 am: are you sleeping?

Sehun 01.03 am: fine. Also you don’t need to come for today.

Sehun 01.05 am:  you should take some days off.

Sehun 01.05 am: just please call me whenever you read this.

 Sejeong 00.13 am: Unnie! T_T Sehun told me what happened. I hope you’re doing okay. I am so thankful for what you did for us. Let’s have dinner sometime T_T

Sejeong 00.29 am: Also please answer his calls, he’s worried. I’m also worried T_T

You smile at your phone. You’ve always known that he is a sweet guy, but why is Sehun so overreacting? Not to mention his girlfriend who you’ve only met twice, Sejeong, the sweetest girl, is also doing the same thing as her boyfriend. Right after you first met her, you just clicked so much with Sejeong. She’s like a little sister to you. And you’re glad they found each other. At least, you still have both of them on your side.

The smile on your face falls when you accidentally open the message from Jungkook.

Jungkook 07.27 am: I hung some food on your door. Heat it up first. -JK

You raise an eyebrow and walk to the door. Your jaw drops as you find a paper bag on the handle. You take it and set it on the counter in your kitchen, opening it slowly to find a bowl of Gukbap.

It’s weird how it sends a warm feeling in your heart. Still, you can’t shake a thought of why’d he do it. Guilty? 

You pour the bowl into a pot and put it on the stove. You walk back to your room to call Sehun while you’re waiting for the food to heat it up.

It only takes two rings for him to answer, “Y/N?”

“Hey. where are you?”

Sehun sighs. “I am at the Company. The office looks so bad still, I can’t imagine what you saw yesterday.”

You scoff. “Don’t you even try to imagine it.”

“Anyway, are you okay? Did you get hurt?”

“I am fine. I got a few cuts on my hands, but that’s fine.”

You hear rummaging from the other end. “Wait, turn your video on. I need to see your wounds.”

You sigh and you turn your phone call into a video call. “Is this even necessary? There,” you say as you point the camera to one of your hands.

“Fuck, a few cuts my ass. They’re all over your hands!!”

You turn it back to voice call. “They’re not deep. It’s fine! Talk to you later. Thanks for the day off.”

You hang up on him before he says anything else and head to the kitchen, getting the warm food from the stove. There’s no need for you to put it into another bowl. It’s easier and more efficient that way, by any means, fewer dishes to wash. The only thing that you have to be cautious about is that you could get burned. But still, eating from a pot has a different feel to it.

You take a big spoonful of the gukbap and blow on it, making it less hot, and eat it slowly. This is what you love about gukbap, how it is easy to eat and digest. And just when it goes straight to your stomach, the warmth fills you right away.

The warmth is familiar.

You sigh. Why is Jungkook doing this? 

Your reverie is broken by a ring from your room, indicating a message. You lay your spoon on the table and walk back to the room. When you spot the phone, you look at the screen quizzically.

Jungkook 11.23 am hope you had a good sleep. And again I’m sorry-jk

You throw your phone to the bed and ball your hands into fists. He’s just feeling guilty, he’s just sorry. You should know better. There’s no way Jungkook suddenly cares for you. You should know that, but why do you feel disappointed? Why does your heart ache so much? 

You rush back to the kitchen. The gukbap is still steamy in the pot. It is one of your favorite foods but right now, you dislike it the most. The delicious smell has turned into a nauseating one. The taste of the broth lingers stubbornly on your tongue, even though you try to wash it away by drinking a lot of water.

A little part of your brain wants to throw the food away but a bigger part in your heart stops it. Your brain wants you to stop hoping that something’s gonna happen with both of you, to recognize that he’s just playing with your feelings. But instead, the feelings just grow stronger, hanging on your feet, not letting you go.

And just like that, you’re back sitting on your table, looking at the steamy pot in front of you with tears in your eyes. Slowly, you begin to pick up your spoon and devour the gukbap quickly, trying to trust your feelings again. You don’t care if you get burned right now, you’ll just have to worry about it afterwards.

There’s nothing.

Jungkook lays on the bed and just stares up at the white ceiling after checking his phone for a millionth time. He sneaks another peek at the screen and he finds nothing.

Nothing. 

Why doesn't she reply to me?

Jungkook lets out a deep sigh, a loud one that makes the man beside him stir in his sleep.

“You know, when you told me that you wanted to crash at my apartment, I thought it’s gonna be a silent one,” Yoongi grumbles. “And what’s with that phone?”

Jungkook bites his lips. “Nothing.”

Yoongi sits up and squints his eyes to Jungkook. “Come on! Just spill it.”

“It’s nothing!” Jungkook stands and walks to the glass window. After all of the team were sent home yesterday, he decided to stay in Yoongi’s apartment. He didn’t tell Yoongi the reason, he didn’t even want to admit to himself that it’s because Yoongi’s apartment is closer to your apartment.

The sunset sky turns red. It’s almost twenty four hours since Jungkook saw you, yet he still thinks about your face, especially the expression he saw your wear in front of your apartment. The one that makes his heart drop to the ground whenever he remembers.

He couldn’t unsee it.

It sticks in his mind like a stubborn pieces of gum.

“Fine. suit yourself.” Yoongi sighs and scratches his head lazily. “By the way, I don’t have any food here. Let’s have dinner outside.”

“I’m even okay with instant noodles, Hyung. Let’s just eat here.”

Yoongi snorts as he walks to the bathroom. “You should open all of my cabinets! There’s literally nothing here,” his voice echoes from the bathroom along with the sound of trickling water. “Lamb skewers?”

“Fine.” Jungkook answers lazily. He takes his phone again and sighs when he sees nothing there. Again. He takes a deep sigh again and puts his phone in his pocket. “Shouldn’t your apartment be filled with some food at least now? You have slept here for a month!”

“Been busy.” Yoongi looks at the younger man with a faint smile on his face. Jungkook looks miserable? Troubled? He doesn’t know what to name it. But Yoongi decides, he can’t leave Jungkook alone right now. “Alright kid, let’s go have some drinks too.”

You’re always a working woman. Even in your college days, there was only a little amount of time that you spent in your dorm, and that only involved sleeping and taking a bath. The rest of your time you spent in the lab, library, and some club activities. There were even times you didn’t come home at all, too busy making the reports which made you fall asleep in the lab. It happened so often to the point of you even kept some spare clothes and your toiletries inside your locker. The only thing you loved about your dorm was the feeling of your tired body when it touched your bed.

That’s why when you’ve spent more than twenty-four hours inside of your own apartment, you’re getting anxious. But there’s no way you could go back to the Company at such an hour, especially not after yesterday. You just need to do something to take your mind off the recent disaster.

You decide to go shopping, your second favorite thing to do. Grocery shopping to be exact. You love how you can spend hours there, just walking from one aisle to  another aisle, reading ingredients in the shampoo rack, calculating which tissue roll is the cheapest out of there, testing every sample in the food area, and observing the other people shopping for their monthly groceries. Plus, there’s no food in your apartment anyway. It’s just a perfect time.

A perfect time to take your mind off of Jungkook.

Although, after a couple of hours of shopping, several bags of groceries, and slightly pained hands, you still can’t wipe the man in question out of your head. 

Especially when you see him in front of your door when you come home. The grocery bags drop to the floor with a rustle.

You shake your head and blink your eyes several times, thinking that you’re seeing things, but you still find him sitting in front of your door.

“Jungkook?” you call cautiously.

His head perks up to see you. “Y/N?” Jungkook smiles widely as he stands up clumsily and pulls you into his chest. “Where have you been? I was worried sick.”

You freeze with the sudden hug. “Wha-What are you doing here?” you struggle to break free from him, and when you see his eyes, your eyebrows purse together in a frown. “Are you drunk?”

Jungkook giggles and tries to hug you again. “Maybe a little..”

“Kook! Are you okay? You want me to call the others?” You hold his hands midair, stopping him from touching you. A door creaks open behind you, and you turn your head. You nod politely to the old man, your neighbor, who is glaring at you from his doorway. Mr. Baek always gets upset about the slightest noise in the hallway. You swallow hard. “Alright, let’s go inside first.”

Just after the door closes, Jungkook hugs you again, making it hard for you to walk. “Will you let me go first? I need to take care of my groceries, otherwise my ice cream will melt.”

Jungkook lets you go with a pout on his face. He leans against the white wall, his eyes never leaving your figure, as you unload the paper bag on the kitchen table. “You know, when I met you for the first time.. You kinda smelled like an ice cream cone.”

Your head tips toward him a little, and then you give your attention back to the groceries in front of you, ignoring his antics. Good thing that you bought a little more than you needed, just enough to distract you from him, several packs of instant noodles, canned hams, some eggs, dried laver, milk, cereal, beers, canned coffees, and some vegetables. And a pint of chocolate ice cream.

“Yes, you smelled like chocolate ice cream. Did you know that chocolate is my favorite flavor? Well, not really, I love mint chocolate more. Oh, Namjoon-hyung and Jin-hyung really hate that flavor, they always say that it tastes like a toothpaste. Like why do they know in the first place they taste toothpaste?” Jungkook giggles.

“What do you want to say, Jungkook?” You walk over to him with your arms crossed in front of your chest.

“What I want to say is, I also love chocolate ice cream but strawberry is a good flavor too. Oh also you just smell different now, are you changing your shampoo or perfume or something? I don’t mean it’s bad, but it’s jus-”

“Why are you here?”

He blinks his eyes several times, a little surprised with the sudden interruption. “I-I don’t know. I think I just wanted to see you.”

Your heart suddenly beats faster. He is mere inches in front of you. You can faintly hear his breathing. “Why?”

Jungkook sighs and scratches the back of his neck. “I think I just want to apologize.”

You look into his eyes, still red from the alcohol-- God knows how much he drank before he came here. “That’s okay.”

You step back but he grabs your wrist tightly, not letting you walk away. “I know you’re still mad at me.”

Raising your eyebrow, you look at him quizzically. “I’m not.”

“Yes, you are.” His grip turns tighter, eyes bored into you. “Why don't you reply to my messages then?”

“I’m not mad at you, Jungkook.” You try to brush him away, but you can’t release yourself from his grip.

He turns around with you still in his arms, trapping you against the wall, sending a sudden pain through your back. He looks straight into your eyes. “Yes, you are. What can I do to make you forgive me?”

You sigh in frustration, “Again, I am not mad at you.”

“You like me, don’t you?”

A sudden heat rushes to your cheeks as your heart beats faster, like you’ve been caught doing something bad. “Wh-what?” 

He pouts, “so, if I give myself to you, you’ll forgive me right?”

“What? What are you talking abo-”

Your lips are silenced with his lips on yours. He kisses you hungrily, fast, taking your breath away. His tongue swipes over your lower lip, asking for entrance, but you keep your lips closed. You simply freeze, not knowing what to do, how to respond. Jungkook on the other hand, senses it and moves his lips to your neck. “You want me, don’t you?”

Of course you want him. But not like this.

Not when he’s this drunk.

Not when he thinks of it as a redemption.

Not when he doesn’t love you the same way you love him.

“Kook, stop it.” Tears start trickling from your eyes. You try to push him away, but he��s stronger than you, he doesn’t even budge. And so you slap him on the cheek as hard as you can. “Stop it.”

Jungkook finally stops and looks at your face. His eyes widen when he sees you slump to the floor, your shoulders shaking. “Y/N? I’m so sor-” He reaches down to you, but you flinch at his touch.

“Just go.” You barely see him through the haze of your tears. Your hand trembles from slapping him; you try to stop it by hugging yourself. Your heart aches, you’re almost sure it broke into pieces. You feel humiliated. You feel sad. You’re confused. You gather your strength to open your mouth. “Please just go.” you whisper in between sobs.

“Y/N…” his eyes turn panic, realizing the enormity of what he’s done.

“GO!”

Jungkook bites his lips and steps back from you. He’s unsure whether it’s right to leave you alone, but he knows he shouldn’t be here. “I’ll be going then. I’ll call you tomorrow okay? Let’s make sense of this when you’ve collected yourself and I’m sober. Okay?”

Your eyes are still flooded with tears and you turn your head away from him, not wanting to see him at the moment. And when you hear the door close behind you, the grief breaks over you even more heavily.

Jungkook is a jerk, he never liked you.

You should hate him.

You give a light hit on your chest, where the pain is the worst. See? That’s for trusting your feelings without giving it much thought. You hit it again, hoping that you can turn your feelings into hatred.

But in fact, you can’t hate him. You still love him.

You just can’t control it. It just grows so fast, like a fire in a dry forest. Everything he did and everything you did, are like winds blowing to the fire, letting it spread wider and wider. And one thing for sure, it burned you.

Taglist: @kb-bangtanenthusiast​ @w0lfqu33n​ @gee-nee​ @jaienn​ @nctssidehoe​ @codeinebelle​ @kali-20 @mygalaxysupernova​ @jeoncookie-bts​ @kookunot​ @1-in-abillion​ @beingbeings​ @enchantingbrowneyedgirl​ @yiyi4657​ @jinsalpaca​  @giadalin​ @spring2787​

Taglist open!

[come-on-shitty-boys]

//Kissing Headcannons//

Characters:  Tsukishima Kei / Sawamura Daichi / Nishinoya Yuu

Request: Hellooo Maddi!! I hope you're doing well and taking care of yourself! 💞 This is sorta random but you know those kissing hcs you did with Tanaka and Tendou? Could I request some with Tsukki, Daichi, Nishinoya, and Bokuto? (Am soft rn and I wanna kith them so bad 🥺👉👈) If that's too many then you can just pick however many you wanna do! Thanks queen, ily!! <3

Warnings: some swearing

Word Count: 1.5K (~500 a piece)

Notes: please this isn’t random i wanted to do more of these and i’ve just been waiting for someone to tell me to do more

Tsukishima Kei

Listen, Tsukki always tries to play it cool, trying to be suave, but his first kiss with you had him p a n i c k i n g

He kept telling himself that it didn’t matter, but this was his first kiss ever and what if you had kissed someone before and thought he was shit just because he was inexperienced?

He was definitely added into a group chat with Kuroo, Bokuto, and Akaashi where Bokuto and Kuroo just hype him up and try to convince him to just fucking kiss you already

Tsukishima just wanted them off of his back.  Don’t get me wrong, he also wanted to finally kiss you, but please they ask him every single day.  He just wants to say, “Yes, I kissed them.  Leave me alone.”

Kdhfesifb he’s walking you home when it happens.  It’s dark and you just look so pretty all illuminated by the street lamps that he just stops and takes your chin between his thumb and index finger

He’s got some dumbass smirk on his face because you’re looking up at him like a deer caught in the headlights.  Tsukki won’t lie.  He thought that was super cute.

But he lifts your face towards his, leaning down to give you this really gentle kiss, nothing like you ever would’ve expected from him. And he wants to call you an idiot when he pulls away, but he’s so fucking flustered that best he can do is bring his hand up to his lips and look away from you.

He really thought he was slick, looking away from you to hide his blush.  Smh everyone knows that you’re blushing like an absolute fool, Tsukishima.  It’s okay.

He doesn’t mind leaning down to kiss you.  If anything, he likes having to lean down.  He thinks that your height difference is kind of cute, no matter how big or small it is.  

Tsukishima gets so embarrassed about kissing you??? Literally what for?  But when he’s feeling especially like an angsty teen, he’ll playfully kinda shove you away after.  People think it’s rude, but you know him too well.  So, please.  Tease the shit out of him every single time he does that.  

He likes to hold your chin because it makes him feel in charge, but if you slide your hands down his chest and over his stomach?  He’s going to get weak in the knees and it’s not fair that you have that effect on him, because he’s supposed to get you weak >:C

If you instigate the kiss, he’s going to make fun of you for being needy and he’ll joke that if you want it so badly, you have to work for it, because he’s not going to lean down for it.  But, give it like two minutes of you jumping or trying to climb him and he’ll roll his eyes and bend down to kiss you.

Sawamura Daichi

SIT IN HIS LAP AND GIVE HIM SMOOCHES

anyway.  That’s a topic for later.

Daichi is so damn soft with you g o o d b y e i do not take criticism on this one thing (and kuroo driving a prius that is also non-negotiable onyx)

He likes to sling an arm around your shoulders or your waist and pull you in towards him to give you a quick kiss.

I just want to make it known that Daichi doesn’t do small kisses.  Oh no.  Every kiss is a full kiss.  A peck? Nay. A K I S S

God, he’s so cute.  He gets so flushed every time he kisses you and sometimes after a s p i c y kiss, he’s really breathless, chest kinda heaving as his forehead is pressed against yours, that tiny sheepish smile on his face.

When it came to first kisses, Daichi really had no shame.  I don’t know, I feel like he’s not the kind of guy to get overly embarrassed when it comes to his relationship.  He loves you a lot and he’s really happy to be with you.  Why should he be embarrassed to show you affection?

THIS BOY DID IT IN THE MORNING BEFORE CLASSES P L E A S E

He walks you down the hall to your classroom every morning and he was telling you goodbye before going to his own room and he just kinda?? Did it?? Right there.  In the middle of the hallway.  For the entire third year class to see.

Not that he cared, of course.

He said, “I’ll see you at lunch, okay?  Bye” and just leaned down and k i s s e d you and walked off like you two didn’t just have your first kiss.  So you just have to sit there all morning having a crisis because you’re so in shock that you think you’ve dreamed it all up.

OKAY BACK TO THE LAP THING BECAUSE SITTING IN HIS LAP MAKES ME VERY HEAD EMPTY

Ahem

Daichi really likes when you sit in his lap and face him, your legs wrapped around his torso.  Yeah, that’s his shit

N e way.  If you grab his face and kiss him like that?  He has never been more in love with you.  He’ll hold your hips and if your hands leave his face to rest on his shoulders or his broad chest?? Daichi . exe has stopped responding.  His head is spinning but it’s not like he cares

Please touch his chest when you guys kiss?? Like.  please. That is genuinely all he wants you to do.  Just rest your hands on his pecs.

Sometimes, when you guys are just standing around or walking home after he’s done with practice, he’ll put his hand on the top of your head and kinda?? Stop you?? Idk.  But he’ll lean over and give you a kiss

Everytime daichi pulls away dkfheisf please i’m so soft thinking about his little smile as he slowly opens his eyes

Oh to live in a world where i could kiss daichi *sigh*

Nishinoya Yuu

Nishinoya loves to kiss you.  And I mean loves to kiss you.  He loves absolutely peppering your face and hands and neck and any skin he can get with all of these itty bitty kisses.

I know that we’ve seen Nishinoya be completely shameless around Kiyoko, but I think he almost views her as unattainable?  So he doesn’t really care?  But with you-

A flustered m e s s.  He’s nervous and blushing and you’re about to ask him what’s wrong, but he just slams his lips into yours, holding your face really tight squishing your cheeks.  When he pulls back, he stares at you with wide eyes, repeating to himself that he can’t believe he just did that.

He’ll try to wipe his mouth.  Not because he didn’t like it, but because now he’s worried that you hate him because he just kissed you out of the blue like that.

But your voice speaking his name is so soft and it makes him stop to look at you.  Your hands on his cheeks, pulling him back in for that second kiss?  Please, he has never felt anything better.  

Nishinoya is a bit of a rough kisser??  I’m talking like he’s always giving open mouth, kinda sloppy kisses?  He’s bitten you on more than one occasion.  Never enough to really hurt, but enough to take you by surprise that he actually bit you?

But sometimes, when Noya is feeling especially soft, he takes things really slow.  Running his thumbs over your cheeks, telling you beautiful are, how happy he is to be with you, how much he loves you, all while leaning closer until you can feel his lips moving against yours everytime he speaks.  Eventually, he’ll finally push his lips to yours and it feels like you’re on cloud nine.

His hands are soft and you love how they feel cupped around the curves of your face.  They’ll eventually snake back to the back of your head to touch your hair or try to pull you even closer to him.  

Nishinoya will melt if you hold onto his arms while you kiss.  If your hands are wrapped around his forearms or his wrists, he’s going to be a puddle on the ground in a matter of minutes.  

He kisses your nose a lot.  Noya finds it to be extra cute when you scrunch up your features and kind of pout at him about it.  He’s genuinely so in love with you?  He thinks you’re the absolute cutest thing he has ever laid eyes on, so of course, whenever you scrunch up your nose, he’s just going to kiss it again.  Is it your ploy to get more kisses out of him?  M a y b  e

But nishinoya won’t object to kissing you over and over again, that’s for sure.

{Taglist: @moncymonce @nicka-nell @celosiiaa​ @lovinnoya​ @kuronekomama​ and @madison-2018​ i am once again telling you to come collect your mans}

[tricktster]

Honestly, I cannot say enough about my german study abroad program, in no small part because the people i met through it were the wildest bunch i have ever met. We had:

Me, a cursed American stumbling through increasingly unlikely and unfortunate situations, including:

getting arrested and hauled off in a cop car for the serious crime of not transcribing the five digit number printed on the back of my bus ticket onto the front of my bus ticket

slipping on dog poop on a crowded street while running late for class (leading a number of tourists to run over and photograph me in my undignified heap on the cobblestones) only to suffer one final indignity when i had to leave my poop shoe out in the hall outside the classroom, and subsequently discovered after class that it had been (correctly) identified as garbage by the custodian, and had been disposed of

spending the entire month of November with essentially no money after a bank error caused me to be cut off from my US checking account, thereby forcing me to figure out how to survive by my wits alone in a series of schemes, cons, and 1€ sausages

burning my thumb so badly on an oven in an attempt to make the world’s worst stuffing for the world’s saddest expat thanksgiving that my friends all had an intervention where they gave me a single black glove to wear because it was grossing them all out.

Enough about me. There were also my closest friends:

L , a horrendously wealthy New Englander who would drop lines in her stories like “so we were all smoking opium in my parents library,” and, “so every time my room gets too dirty, i just move to the next one down until the whole wing is filthy.” In spite of everything I’ve just said, she was also a genuinely good and incredibly fearless person who would throw fists without hesitation if she thought anyone was insulting her friends. She had a weird sexual relationship with her obscenely wealthy family friend in Frankfurt, which the rest of us suspected maybe been part of a business deal that their parents arranged at birth. It was better than Game of Thrones, honestly.

Y, a four foot tall Puerto Rican that I met when we were both walking down the street kind of near each other and some wild impulse called me to say to her, without so much as an introduction, “Yeah, you walk pretty cool, but if you wanna walk REAL cool, you gotta do it like thissssss,” while kinda lunging around. Just as inexplicably, she chose to continue talking to me, and several months later the two of us ended up making a harrowing 2:00 am escape from the private bar of a frat house that we had suddenly noticed had an awful lot of Nazi memorabilia on the walls for a frat located in a country that had criminalized the display of Nazi symbols. “Why are you leaving?” The frat-nazis complained as we bolted. “You will come back tomorrow afternoon for the barbecue, ja?” “Ahahhahaha nein fucking way, motherfucker,” Y muttered under her breath as we smiled and nodded politely all the way out the private garden, through the enormous iron gates, and out into the night. Once we were in the clear, we stared at each other, shaken, until Y broke the silence. “Welp. Those guys were Nazis. That actually just happened. I can’t.... man, I dunno, i’m still processing, let’s just go get some fucking falafel.”

We did.

S, the Australian, who one time invited me over to her apartment, opened the fridge, grabbed a plate of cheese, shoved it under my nose while going “HERE SMELL THIS!” and while i lurched away, gagging, cheerfully added “IT’S REALLY FOUL, RIGHT? ONE OF THE WOST THINGS I’VE EVER SMELLED!!” She was also absolutely obsessed with High School Musical, and was very disappointed every time the Americans shattered one of her illusions about the US public school system.

K, the girl from New Zealand, who had broken up with her serious boyfriend shortly before leaving for Germany, causing her to mourn his loss every time she got drunk by describing his penis with increasingly strange metaphors, such as “like a big wax candle but part of it’s gone,” and “like one leg off a spider.”

So, i had a pretty solid crew of five big weirdos. But there were, naturally, more people than the five of us in our program. For example:

R, from Minnesota, who dressed like she was about 72 and glared at anyone who was laughing too loudly near her because “i just don’t think jokes are funny.” More importantly, she would post facebook videos of herself reciting, entirely sincerely and in a steady monotone, the worst fucking poems that I have ever heard. She posted them under a pen name that was along the same lines as “the lyrical falcon.” She was in a feud with not one but two poetry clubs at her christian college, and while she never admitted this, all evidence suggested that it was because they both kicked her out. She was the Tommy Wisseau of poems. They were so bad they looped back around to good. Also, one time on the train she told me that she liked to think that she was a very good kisser because she played the french horn so she had strong mouth muscles. when i finally recovered from the mortal blow that she just delivered my soul, I asked her if she blew into people when she kissed them, and she got so insulted that she blocked me from her facebook poetry page. let me back in, R. please, if you’re reading this, let me back in.

They’re good poems, R.

Zoolander, from Pennsylvania, who was so, so handsome, but so, so, so dumb. One time he told me about this dream he had, and it was just an entire episode of Dexter’s lab. No changes or anything, he just... dreamed that he was watching that episode, and then the whole thing played in his head until it was done. He said it was the best dream he’d ever had. I once watched him pick up the same coin off the street four times because he couldn’t figure out that his pocket had a hole in it. When he noticed me, he said excitedly “Somebody left money everywhere!”

Juan, who constantly confused all the kids from Spain who went up to talk to him in their native tongue, only to discover that he was a very sarcastic man from Liverpool who didn’t speak a word of Spanish and was sick of everyone trying to bond with him. He only liked the Americans, because that’s where the tv show Family Guy was from, and only the Americans liked him, because we tend to like surly british assholes for basically no reason. At the end of the program while we were all saying our goodbyes, he came up to me, looking really upset. “I can’t believe it,” He said, uncharacteristically serious. “I can’t believe it’s all over and i’ll never...” He looked like he was about to cry.

“Oh, dude, we can keep in touch on facebook or something?” I fumbled. He blinked.

“What? No, no, ugh, it’s just the last day of the program and I’ve LOST MY FOOKIN SCARF!” he roared.

God, I know this is weird, but I still really miss that guy.

The Croatian: There was a dude from Croatia in my apartment building who outright refused to tell me his name, because, “It’s an embarrassing word in English. You’d laugh.” I badgered him for five months, until finally, his defenses down, after many earnest promises that no matter what his name was, I would not laugh, he relented.

“My name is Tin.” He said sheepishly.

His name was fucking Tin.

Beardy, Beardo, Redbeard, and Weirdbeard: four drastically different young men from all across our beautiful planet who had one thing in common: thinking that they’d try out a beard while they were abroad. We always admired them from a distance, and compared their beards’ various unique and bad properties, until one day Beardy (who was australian and had developed a sort of flesh colored goatee) walked up to S, his countryman, in a club. “DO YOU WANT TO DANCE?” he yelled, trying to get her attention, but she was in a dance-off with K, and didn’t notice, so he tapped her shoulder. She whirled around, startled, and upon recognizing him, said without thinking, “OH, HI BEARDY!”

The song faded out.

Beardy stared at S.

“...Did you just call me ‘Beardy?’” he asked quietly. S looked like a deer in the headlights. She glanced towards me, hoping for an out, but I, dear reader, was laughing too hard to be of any use.

“You did,” he went on, “you called me ‘Beardy!’ Why!?”

“Cuz of your beard, probably. That’s a better name for you than Josh.” Zoolander interjected from out of nowhere, strolling out of the club, a beautiful woman on each arm.

“My name isn’t Josh...” Beardy tried to call after him.

“Who’s name isn’t Josh? Oh! Beardy!” A drunk K could be heard deducing from the back of the room.

He shaved it a week later, but the damage was done. He was Beardy for the rest of the semester.

When I look back on that period of my life now, I can’t help but reflect - with the clarity one only gets from experience - that my time in Germany was not as weird as I thought it was at the time. I lacked the perspective to see that it was all, actually, absolutely bonkers batshit nuts. It was some sitcom shit.

All in all, I highly recommend it.

[mynameseri]

Okay you know why I am here....GIVE ME 1-20 ON ERIGAWA!!!! Or pick your top 5 fav questions if you've already answered some of the questions hehe I just LOVE ERIGAWA!!! YALL ARE SO CANON <333

THE WAY I JUST LOVE YOU SO SO SO MUCH. YOUR SUPPORT FOR ERIGAWA IS UNREAL!!!!!!!!!!🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 I CANT EXPRESS HOW MUCH IT MEANS TO ME!!!! 😭😭😭 ERIGAWA IS SO CANON (AND CAMPIKA AND CAMZAI ARE ALSO CANON AF)

The way I am doing ALLLLLL of theses I haven’t done yet. Eternal brain rot UNDER THE CUT cause I’m about to pop the fuck off entirely for myself!!🥰🥰🥰

1. Who talks more?

So we both talk A LOT. We seriously never shut the fuck up. 😂 But Akutagawa talks more than I do, especially in social settings. He’s able to strike up a conversation with almost anyone (we love a charismatic king)! I love to hear him talk though, so I just get lost in his words all the time. Whenever I say anything he always has something thoughtful to say in response to it. He truly cares when I talk and he’s so helpful with his responses. 🥺

2. Who made the first move?

3. The favorite physical attribute of your partner?

LITERALLY EVERYTHING HOW CAN I JUST CHOOSE ONE!!!! 😍😍😍😍😍 Everything about Akutagawa makes me so weak. I love his beautiful gray eyes and his sharp nose. His SMILE MAKES MY HEART MELT like damn baby are you trying to kill me!!!!!! I love his slender yet muscular figure. I just want to be in his arms all the time!! They were meant to hold me always!😫😫😫🖤🖤🖤🖤

4. What’s your favorite personality trait they have?

I love his bluntness. 👀 He’s not the type to beat around the bush or be passive aggressive. He’s super up front and it helps keep me in check and make sure we are always communicating well in our relationship. In the beginning he was more reserved, but once he opened up to me he started being vocal about his feelings, needs, etc. It’s also so attractive to see him just be so blunt it could almost be seen as rude to randoms or people he works with. 😂 He does not mess around - it’s sOOOOO HOT!!!!!!🤤

5. What’s your partner’s favorite physical attribute you have?

Akutagawa loves how small I am.😂  He’s constantly making comments about my height and teasing me when I can’t reach things in the house. 😔 He loves to call me his petite little princess. 💞🥰 He’s frequently trying to compare hand sizes, always using it as an excuse to hold my hand afterwards (SO FREAKIN CUTE I JUST LOVE THIS MAN SO MUCH!!). He loves to see me wear his clothes cause they’re so loose and long on me, I’m practically drowning in them but he thinks I look so perfect. He never stops staring!! He totally has a size kink LOL. 

6. What’s their favorite personality trait you have?

Akutagawa admires my sweetness.🥺🥺🥺 He thinks I have such a big heart and he wants to protect it with his entire being! He can’t believe how nice I am to people I don’t even know and he always tells me he can just feel that it’s genuine too, since he knows me so well. He thinks it’s an amazing trait, but he’s always telling me to be careful and take care of my own needs too. He’s very adamant about me not letting myself get taken advantage of by others because of my kindness. 

7. Who’s more likely to cry during a sad movie?

8. Do you like cooking for your partner or vice verse?

9. What’s their favorite snack (sweet or salty)?

10. What bad habit do they have (that you can’t stand)?

Akutagawa used to love to smoke cigarettes when I met him, which I thought was a gross habit. I convinced him to go onto vaping and we got matching juuls together (couple goals!). Since he has a lung disease, I try my best to get him to vape less and hopefully quit eventually, but he has to make that decision his own! Other than that he doesn’t really have any habits I can’t stand. 

12. One thing they’d consider your bad habit?

Akutagawa hates that I bite my nails. He knows it’s because of my anxiety and he tries to be understanding but he really doesn’t like it at all. He thinks it’s gross and he tells me there’s no need for things like that. He’s mad because he thinks I have such cute, small hands and he hates to see the hangnails and messed up nails. So he’s always paying for me to get my nails done and keep them looking good, anything to stop me from biting them! He’s so thoughtful. If he ever catches me like biting at my nails he gently swats my hand and tells me to stop and asks me if there’s anything going on that’s making me anxious.

13. How much time do you spend together?

14. How long have you been together?

It feels like we’ve been together forever! Hehehe but I’ll leave the actual number up to your imagination.  Time is just a number!! We’ll be together for the rest of time & forever more, which is what matters most to me 💞

15. How long did it take before you moved in together (if you live together)?

Only a few months! We both had our own places, but we spent so much time together it just didn’t make sense to be living separately! We both hated sleeping alone so we spent almost every night together since our first date. 🥺 Eventually we decided we should just live together to keep things simple and not be spending so much time driving back and forth to each others places when we can just live together instead!! 

16. How was your first kiss and who’s the better kisser?

OMG our first kiss was like movie magic perfect!! It was so soft and passionate, underneath the moonlight and stars on the balcony of his condo. We were just talking and he pulled me in and kissed me, talking about how he had been waiting months for this moment. His lips felt like heaven against mine. 🤤🤤🤤🤤 I’d say he’s the better kisser. But if you ask him he’s going to say I am! He loves my kisses so much and I literally can’t get enough of his either. He’s perfect! 😫😫😫💞💞💞💞

17. Favorite way to cuddle and relax together?

18. Who said “I love you” first and how’d the person hearing it react?

19. What’s your favorite kind of music is there’s the same as yours?

My music taste varies but it’s usually a mix of EDM, Pop, R&B, Alternative & Emo, whatever sounds good to me in the moment. He has a similar music taste, liking a little bit of everything, but we both HATE country music HAHAH thank god for that. Some of our favorite music groups are the Neighbourhood and The Weeknd. We both vibe SO hard with them. I remember telling him how much I loved them and his eyes lit up instantly and it just made us fall even harder for each other. We started sharing music & making playlists for each other and now we have like all the same favorite songs and they’re all just tied to our relationship memories. It’s the cutest thing ever! 🥺🌸✨

20. Who’s the more romantic one and how do they show it?

Surprisingly, Akutagawa is more romantic than I am. 😳 I tend to just be very vocal and physical with my love and praise towards him, but he branches out with expressing his love. He’s always texting me to check up on me during the day, calling me if he misses my voice, leaving me notes around the house or in my purse/car where he knows I will see them. 🥺 He’s a hopeless romantic since he’s never felt this way about anyone before. I absolutely love it and try to do more for him to reciprocate the love. 🥰

[artbymintcookies]

if ur taking requests still.. could we get foggy antagonizing matt in the office? i read a fic once where karen didn't know about dd and came back in the middle of an out of control throwing-shit battle instigated by foggy who kept throwing things at matt's head to see if he could catch them (he could) anyway matt didn't want to out himself to karen so he took a textbook to the face n that scene lives within my brain forevermore

hope you don’t mind more words! Also Idk if this is what you had in mind but these boys are straight up mean to each other. under the cut bc long

wait how did this lowkey turn into a full kinda sad fic i’m so sorry

Foggy was angry at him. He knew this because Foggy had told him as much, but also because there was no way any person who was not driven to insanity through passionate rage would put rancid coffee in the coffeemaker. It was from the tin at the back of the cupboard that no one dared touch, liquid tar sitting in their kitchenette just to waft into Matt’s nose until someone did something about it.

Foggy, meanwhile, had a nice steaming cuppa from the coffeeshop across the street. He had bought one for Karen as well.

Finally, noon rolls around, and the stench had been looming around the office for long enough that he broke. He dumped it into the sink, worsening the smell as it coated the drain.

Tersely, he brought the empty carafe into Foggy’s office and plopped it down onto his desk.

Slowly, Foggy looked up to him.

“Can I help you?” he asked sweetly.

“Do I have something to apologize for?” Matt shot back.

“Was there something off about the coffee?”

“I’m not doing this right now,” he said, storming out of the room and trying to focus.

-

Foggy clicked his pen when he was peeved. It was usually only semi conscious, with the added benefit that it bored into Matt’s skull every time.

Matt could take precisely 6 minutes of it before he stormed into Foggy’s office, felt around for a capped pen, and replaced it in Foggy’s hand.

“This is a red pen. I’m not writing notes with this,” Foggy said flatly.

“As long as the clicking stops, I don’t care,” Matt retorted. “Is this also part of my torture?”

“I’d hardly call it torture.”

“You’ve been rude to me all week, and I don’t know what I did wrong.”

“If you don’t know, you don’t know.

-

Foggy continued not to talk to him for another week. Matt developed an urgent need to punch something. So he did, repeatedly and hard, every night for a week, and then he stumbled into Karen’s apartment with bloody knuckles because he sure as hell wasn’t going to talk to Foggy about it.

“Woah, hello there, Mr. Devil. Doesn’t your partner usually look after you?” Karen asked, opening the window to let the man enter.

“‘Usually’ being the operative word,” Matt spit bitterly.

“On the outs again?”

“Rough patch,” he corrected. “I’ll fix it. I just need to find out why he’s being so pissy.” 

“Ouch,” Karen deadpanned. “Why can’t he just be legitimately upset at you?”

“I haven’t done anything.”

Karen sighed. “What do we know? Inaction can sometimes be as harmful as action. Willful ignorance, negligence leading to serious harm, what have you.”

Matt paled. “What did I miss?”

“Well, a couple weeks ago, you were supposed to meet Foggy for dinner with his mother.”

“The Rosalind dinner,” he said, horror dawning on his face. “I had to stop a bombing on the other side of town. Did he do it himself?”

“I had to come to his rescue, a half hour late. Apparently, when he had told her she’d be meeting his partner, she had assumed he had meant business partner. She congratulated us on our engagement, by the way.”

“Yeah?”

“I mean, she hated that I was the tardy type. She said she’d ‘loathe to have her son tethered to a flaky type.’ Now, usually, I would hate to agree with the reason Foggy has to take Xanax, but just this once, I see where she’s coming from.”

“I’m so sorry.”

She shrugged. “Don’t tell that to me. I wasn’t the one losing out there. Foggy is a surprisingly good kisser.”

“Okay, yeah. Just invite me to the wedding,” Matt waved at her over his shoulder, booking it out the window.

“You owe me one!” she called after him.

-

The window to Foggy’s bedroom had a trick lock. Normally, it wouldn’t matter because he lived on the 11th floor and no one was ever trying to open it from the outside. Matt thought maybe he should let Foggy know as he shook it open and climbed inside. He could hear Foggy in the kitchen, which wasn’t good because it smelled like he was eating sugar cookies at 11pm, which was a definite depression meal.

“Hey,” Matt said, tapping Foggy on the shoulder. He dropped his plate and it shattered in a deafening noise.

“Get out.” Barely a whisper, and barely concealed irritation.

“I came to apologize.” He put his hands above his head in a show of surrender. “I’m sorry I missed dinner. I’m sorry you had to suffer Rosalind alone.”

Foggy paused for a long moment and shoved him out of the way to get a broom.

“I wasn’t alone. I had Karen.”

“Congratulations on your engagement, by the way.”

It earned Matt a jab in the ribs. It wasn’t gentle, but it wasn’t as violent as it could have been, so he took it as a good sign. “Shut up, I’m still mad at you.”

“And how can we expedite your anger so you go back to loving me?” Matt was suddenly glad no one else seemed to be able to hear heartbeats, because it was hammering in his chest. His palms were clammy in his gloves. What if Foggy still refused?

Foggy was silent as he cleaned up the stray ceramic. The pieces jangled into the trash before he spoke. “Just be better, Matt. I’ve been begging you for years.”

Shedding his gloves, he places them carefully on the counter, and his mask along with it. He felt all the ways his hair is disheveled, the myriad directions it was being pulled. He wanted to look away, but he needed Foggy to see his face.

“I can’t do that if you don’t give me another chance.”

“How many more will it take, Matty? How many other chances am I supposed to give you?”

“I’ll get it right one day, don’t you think?” He tried to smile sheepishly, and hoped it didn’t read as smug.

“Your track record says otherwise.”

Matt frowned, felt his muscles lurch downward grotesquely. He took a step forward and reached for Foggy’s hand. It was selfish, but he wanted to chase it when Foggy slipped out of his grasp. “I can’t lose you, Fogs. Don’t tell me that ship’s already sailed.”

A sigh. “You know, for the first time since maybe ever, I think Rosalind was actually proud of me. She was happy that there’s a firm out there with my name on it big enough to have employees, and that it’s competent enough to win cases more than it loses. I mean, I’m still poor as dirt, but at least I’m not a failure. She was proud that I found a smart and pretty woman to love me. You know what she said?”

“Foggy-”

“She said, ‘thank God you’re not so attached to that Murdock fellow anymore. You were getting a little codependent, were you not?’ I mean, what can I say to that? It’s not like it wasn’t true. She had investigators look you up. Came in with a stack of files three inches thick on everything that you’ve done that might reflect badly on me. And that’s just the Murdock side of you. Can you imagine if they found out about Daredevil?”

Matt felt his chin quiver.

“She called it a proposal. She wanted us to split. And it was so tempting, you know? All these years later, chasing her green light. Pathetic, don’t you think?”

“Is this a break up?”

Foggy shook his head. “No, Matt. I told her to fuck off, and that you’re my best friend and that she won’t be the one to split us up. Stormed out of there faster than Rosalind could be billed. Because I show up, for you, Murdock. I can’t do this if it’s not reciprocal.”

“It’s reciprocal I swear. I had- I’m sorry, I know it’s not an excuse, but there was a bombing on the other side of town.”

“Yeah, in Queens. You could have let Spider-Man handle it. Hell, he showed up to the scene faster than you did, according to the Bugle.”

Matt scrubbed at his face. “Okay, maybe Rosalind scares me a bit,” he admitted.

Finally, it got a chuckle out of Foggy. Dry and barely amused, but present nonetheless. “Yeah, she scares me, too.”

Before they could help it, they were laughing and collapsing onto the floor, and melting into each other’s arms.

“I really am sorry, you know. I’ll never let you face her alone ever again,” promised Matt, finding Foggy’s pinky finger to loop it around his own.

“See to it that you do. And you’re paying next time.”

“I can work with that. Just don’t leave me. Please.”

“It’s a deal, I guess.”

[bazypitchandsimonsnow]

Missed Moments with You

Rating: M

Genre: Fluff/Angst

Word Count: 14353

Summary: Almost six months after Baz drunkenly stumbled back into Simon's life, they're still together and happy. Well, mostly. It'd be great if they had more time together, but work keeps getting in the way. Can their relationship survive their real lives?

Read on AO3

Sequel to “Back to Haunt Me”

AN: HAHAHAHAHA I DID IT BITCHES!!!! I FINALLY FINISHED A FIC AFTER MONTHS OF ILLNESS AND WRITER'S BLOCK!!!! Seriously, I could not do ANYTHING for so long. But I was finally able to do this! Big thanks to @carryonmylovelies for all her help and encouragement. She is the best.

Sadly, I couldn't get this to fit into any of my requests. I will try to get to those, I promise. My brain is just not functioning at full capacity and really hasn't for awhile. Hope you enjoy this one tho :)

Disclaimer: I am not a teacher or a psychiatrist. Most of my knowledge comes from being a student and a therapy/psychiatry patient, plus a little research online. This is not meant to be a super duper accurate representation of either. Dramatic License was taken.

———————————————

Simon

Even though it’s soft, I still hear the door close. It’s not like I have super ears. I’ve just been sleeping lightly, trying to stay up until Baz comes back. I hear him quietly take off his ugly shoes, walk towards the room, and open the door. I stay still as he flops down next to me and gets under the blanket. He lazily throws an arm over my side, long nose pressed against my neck. I love when he does this, wraps himself around me. Baz makes me feel so happy.

“Hey,” I say, barely a whisper. “How was the hospital?”

Baz’s groan reverberates down my skin. “Nearly punched a patient’s father in the face.”

“Sounds like the usual.”

“Mhm. Just another day and night at University College Hospital.” He tosses his leg over mine. Sometimes I swear he wants to bloody climb me. “You should be asleep, Snow, it’s late.”

“You’re up.”

“Because I’m a medical resident and my hours are completely insane. You’re allowed the luxury of a mostly normal sleep schedule, take advantage of it.”

I grab his hand over my stomach, weaving our fingers together. “I like waiting for you.”

“Mm.” He nuzzles closer and holds me tighter, then presses a soft kiss behind my ear. I’m in heaven. “Sap.”

“Always.” I kiss the back of his hand. “We should both sleep now, love.”

“Yeah,” he mumbles. “Night, love.”

I close my eyes, finally sinking into sleep as my wonderful, exhausted boyfriend holds me tight.

———————————————

I’m woken up by my alarm blaring shitty hair metal at top volume. Baz lets out a loud groan into my shoulder.

“Why do you play that rubbish?” he growls. “Why not some nice classical?”

“Because this rubbish wakes me up.” I reluctantly extract myself from Baz’s lovely arms. I hear him roll onto his stomach and spread out in a starfish on my bed. He loves cuddling with me, but he also likes to stretch out his long limbs. I grab my glasses, returning my ability to see properly, then turn around to look at him, and my mouth drops open.

“Baz!” I shout. “You climbed into my bed in your fucking scrubs again!?”

Baz lifts his head slightly and pulls at his light blue scrubs, eyebrows pulled together. “Hm, looks like I did.”

“They’re filthy!”

“No.” He flops back down, face smushed into my pillow. “I washed them yesterday. There’s just a bit of dried blood on my trouser leg. No sick or spinal fluid this time.”

I shake my head, but it’s with a smile. “I can’t believe my neat freak former roommate has developed such low standards of cleanliness.”

Baz makes an annoyed grunting sound before sinking further into my bed. I chuckle and press a kiss to his hairline. He’s already asleep again.

I grab my bathrobe and go into the kitchen, a smile on my face. It’s been five months since Basilton Pitch drunkenly wandered his way back into my life. I never imagined we would see each other again, let alone start dating. But it’s been pretty great. Baz is so much more than I thought he was. I already knew he was brilliant, but he’s also hilarious and kind and utterly amazing. I’m happier with him, and I think Baz is happier with me too.

The only problem is exactly what Baz warned me about when we started dating; he’s insanely busy. The hospital has him on a weird, inconsistent schedule. He’ll sometimes work for over twelve hours then collapse for an entire day afterwards. If that wasn’t hard enough, when this started, I didn’t factor in my own job. Very dumb, considering what I do. When I���m not teaching, I’m usually grading or writing lesson plans, so it’s not like I have a lot of free time either. We once went two and a half weeks without seeing each other. It was awful, but both of us understood. Still missed him though. I miss him a lot. In nearly six months, we’ve been on three proper dates. It’s not that I like fancy dinners and shit, I just like being with Baz. I wish we could be together more.

I stop to give Cherry her morning pet and wet food. She purrs under my hand. Then I make myself instant coffee, the ambrosia of primary teachers, and toaster waffles. I leave some for Baz to heat up later. He has pretty refined tastes, but no one can resist toaster waffles. He’ll probably be up to eat them around noon, when we’ll Skype chat while I have lunch at school. It’s my favourite part of the day. I want it to happen more often.

The phone ringing breaks me out of my lovesick melancholy. Penny’s grinning face stares back at me. I quickly pick it up. “Hey, Pen.”

“Hey Si,” she says, voice crackling slightly. “How’s it going?”

“It’s going alright. Just making myself some shit coffee and toaster waffles.”

“I’m a bit horrified your breakfast habits haven’t changed since uni.”

I scoff very self righteously. “Neither have yours. Last time I visited, you were stuffing your face with pop tarts.”

“You have no proof of that.” I can feel Penny’s glare from across the bloody Atlantic.

“No,” I chuckle. “I guess I don’t. Oh, I did almost get video proof of Baz wolfing down two Big Macs. He finished just after I got my phone out, it was amazing.”

“Ha! Get a video of it when it happens next time, then show me that and I’ll owe you a pint.”

“I’ll try next time we go out.” I slump a little in my chair.  “If we go out...”

Penny sighs in a particular way. It’s the one she uses when she knows I’m down and wants to bring me back up. “Baz still working those long shifts, huh?”

“Yeah, so he’s tired a lot. And our schedules have trouble syncing up. It really sucks and it’s not like either of us have a choice in it, especially him. But still it...it’s like- I just-”

“Part of you doesn’t give a shit about work, you just want to be together more.”

I sink further on the chair, so much so I fear I’m going to melt into the vinyl. “Kinda, yeah. Does that...does that make me a bad boyfriend and person?”

“No, no, absolutely not, Simon. It makes you a normal person who desires their partner.”

“Okay, yeah, sure, but Baz warned me about his job. He told me that he would have insane hours and it would make having a relationship really hard. I told him it was okay, that we would make it work, so I can’t get mad now, right?”

“You’re allowed to be upset that you don’t get to see your boyfriend as much as you wish you could.”

“I guess, yeah.” I shove half a toaster waffle in my mouth. It marginally helps. “I don’t know what to do, Pen. I can’t ask Baz to cut his hours, it’ll mess up his degree and piss off the doctors cause they’ll say he’s ‘not being dedicated’, which is a load of bollocks but it’ll happen. And it’s not like I can change when I work. There doesn’t seem to be a solution.”

Penny sighs. “I don’t know what to tell you, Si. There’s no easy way to deal with this. I think you just have to talk things out.” I groan heavily. “Yeah, I know, you hate talking. But can you think of anything else?”

“No,” I grumble. “Save for just shagging him senseless so we can both let off some nervous stress.”

“Sex doesn’t fix everything.”

“Well, no, but it would be nice to try it period.”

“You two still haven’t slept together?!” she says far too loudly. I hope Micah isn’t home. God, that would be embarrassing. “It’s been months!”

“I know,” I groan, “but we’ve both been busy and tired, especially Baz. Mostly we’ve just been snogging, which is awesome. Baz is a great kisser.”

“Too much information, Si.”

“Sorry, sorry. I like kissing, I’d just like to do...other stuff too.”

“Which is perfectly understandable, and the only way it’s going to ever happen is if you figure out where to go in your relationship. And that’s only going to happen by  talking about it and working something out that both of you can live with.”

I eat another toaster waffle. Again, helps a little, not enough. “That’s hard.”

“And necessary if you want to keep this relationship.” There’s a short pause and I try to speak before Penny interrupts me. “You definitely do want to keep it, right?”

My leg jerks so hard I nearly knock my coffee over. “Of course I do! Baz is kind and amazing and funny and brilliant and I fucking lo-”

We both go silent. I put a hand over my mouth. Holy shit, I can’t believe I almost said that. I haven’t even thought about it before, until now. (Typical, I don’t figure it out until I’m right in the middle of shit.) I mean, I’ve thought about it in a sort of abstract, future way. But not right now, not after only five months together when we spent seven years apart and an equal amount of time hating each other. Could I really be in love already?

“Shit, really?” Penny whispers. “You love him?”

I bite my nails, something I haven’t done since second year of uni. “Uh, I guess, maybe. I don’t know. It’s way too soon and I’m not exactly that experienced in love. I don’t think I can say for sure of anything...”

“Okay. What can you say for sure then?”

“Well,” I stop chewing on my nails, “I know I care about Baz. I enjoy being around him. And I really, really,  really  like him.”

“Is that okay with you?”

“Yeah, I can deal with that.”

“Good, stick with that, don’t jump too far. Figure out where you two stand before you start talking about love.”

“Yeah,” I sigh, “you’re right.”

“Of course I am.”

I scoff and roll my eyes, similar to Baz. I’m picking a lot up from him, “I know, I know.” My eyes catch the clock. “Oh shit, I’ve got to go right now. If I’m late my kids are going to destroy the classroom.”

Penny snorts. “The trials of a parent of thirty two children.”

“Exactly. Talk to you later, Pen, love you.”

“Love you too, Si, bye!”

The phone clicks off, leaving me hopelessly alone with my thoughts. So, I want to be around Baz more. That’s reasonable, he’s my boyfriend. But neither of us can be around more because of our beloved jobs. I’m going to have to find some solution. But not right now because I’m going to be very, very late. I rush out the door with only the thoughts of the tube schedule on my mind.

———————————————

“Lishie, no,” I say, taking the marker from her hand, “that’s a shared class writing utensil, you can’t chew on it.”

Lishie pouts at me, blinking her big brown eyes. “But Mr. Snow,” she whines.

“None of that, please. If you must chew on something, please use your own pencil.” I lean down to look at her drawing of a castle. “This is your favourite place, huh?”

“Yeah.” She points at her lovely pink palace. “This is my Lishie only place. It keeps my brother out and shoots lasers at bad guys.”

I nod with a big smile. “Both are very important. Nice work.” I turn to Zahir. His drawing is of a beautiful shoreline with a fiery sunset. “And what place is this?”

“It’s the view from my grandparent’s house,” he chirps.

“It looks lovely, Zahir, good job.”

I stand up and check the other kids. They’re all doing wonderfully. I help where needed, handing them markers and giving colour suggestions. Luckily the kiddos are being good today. I don’t think I can handle their particular brand of tornado like insanity right now.

“Mr. Snow, look what I did!” I lean down to Harrison’s level. His picture is of himself with his two Mums holding hands under an abundance of trees.

“It’s amazing, Harry,” I say. “Where are you three in this picture?”

“We’re at the camping ground where my Mums met. They got married at the lake last year. We go there every summer break.”

“Aw, that’s very sweet.”

“Are you married, Mr. Snow?” Rosanne calls out. I hate mean nicknames. They’re a dumb bullying tactic. At the same time though, “Nosey Rosie” is occasionally apt. Not that I’d ever say that out loud, of course.

“No, I’m not married, Rose,” I say calmly.

“Do you have a girlfriend?”

The kids start muttering and giggling. I sigh, shaking my head. “No, I don’t have a girlfriend either. But my love life is none of your business, munchkins.”

“A boyfriend?” Liza shouts. “My mum said you probably have a boyfriend.”

I sigh and rub my temple. Well, while her mother is correct, the beautiful and single Ms.Thorn has also made many advances on me. I suppose me being gay rationalises my kind rejections of her. I believe she needs to get over herself.

“No, I don’t have a boyfriend.” I hate lying to the kids, but I’m not going to talk about my relationship with them. “Again, my love life is personal.”

Thandi gasps, and leans over to Riya beside her. Her tone suggests a whisper, but her volume shows she absolutely means to be heard. “What if Mr. Snow has a  secret girlfriend or boyfriend?”

They all start chattering away with big grins on their faces. I sigh heavily. There is nothing ten year olds love more than gossiping, especially about their teachers. I’ve caught my munchkins talking about if the football coach and year 11 science teacher are together. (They aren’t. Both Coach Markova and Mr. Saadia have been married for over twenty years. Their husbands are wonderful friends.) I don’t want to become the next rumour on the playground.

“Okay, hush up all of you,” I say loudly. They all quiet down. “It’s not appropriate to discuss my personal life, so you’re going to stop right now, understand?”

“Yes, Mr. Snow,” they reply all at once in a shamed, slightly annoyed tone. It’s one I’m extremely familiar with.

“Good. Now go back to your drawings, or we’ll start the maths worksheets early.”

They all gasp, then go back to drawing. I hear whispers about normal things, like Power Rangers and Disney movies. I sigh and return to my desk, leaning back in the chair. Honestly, even if I did want to answer the kids, I wouldn’t be sure what to say. I do have a boyfriend officially, but I barely see him. Twice a week at best. It’s not his fault, he tries his best. I fuck up more than him honestly. I just wish we could be...more boyfriends? That doesn’t make sense.

My pocket buzzes and I pull out my phone. I’m not supposed to use it during class hours, but the kids are working right now, it’s fine. The text is from Baz. My pulse speeds up like it does every time. But when I open it, my heart drops instead.

Baz [13:40] Hey love. So sorry but I can’t come over tonight. Need to pick up an extra shift. I promise I’ll make it up to you ❤️

I sigh heavily, trying to suppress the disappointment and hurt. It’s not his fault, he’s doing his best. We’ll figure something out. Right?

Simon [13:41] it’s alright love we’ll find another time

Baz [13:41] ❤️

———————————————

“No, no, hold the rock like this.” Baz adjusts my grip. I love his fingers, long and elegant. If he wasn’t a doctor, I think he would make an incredible pianist.

“How does the way I hold the rock change anything?” I ask.

“It helps you get the right angle to skip it.”

I frown in confusion. “I thought the rock’s shape helped with that.”

“Both help. So,” he guides my arm back, “let’s try.”

Baz’s callused fingers caress my bare skin. I let out a shaky breath. God, I shouldn’t get this hot and bothered from Baz just touching me. I’m not some horndog, I can wait for sex. The pent up tension is just...getting to me a bit.

“Now flick it, Snow,” Baz says.

I fling the stone forward. It flies over the pond, sending ripples across the aquamarine water. The stone nearly reaches the other side before finally dropping. I’m grinning ear to ear. When I turn around, Baz is too.

“Wonderful job, love.” He presses a kiss to my temple. “I knew you could do it.”

God, I’m going to melt into a puddle. I peck his lips softly. “Thanks for showing me, love.”

He kisses me back, a bit firmer. I would snog the life out of him right now if we weren’t in the middle of Regent’s Park, apparently a popular relaxation spot for UCLH. We’re surrounded by nurses chatting, residents resting, and doctors smoking cigarettes. (Baz says doctors truly have the least regard for their own health.) We sadly pull apart and take a seat on a bench. I put my head on his strong shoulder, and he throws his arm around me.

“How were psych rounds today?” I ask.

“Awful,” he groans. “Mr. Teversham still refuses to take his medication, and Mx. Joseph is fighting therapy at every turn.”

“Hm, well, you expected this. Any ideas?”

“Mx. Joseph needs to be in therapy without  knowing they're in therapy. Mr. Teversham needs to be sedated so he can’t yell at me anymore.”

I snort. “Not sure that’s legal.”

“It’s not, but one can dream. Both probably need adjustments in their medications but that would affect serotonin levels too much at this delicate stage of treatment.”

“Mm, that sucks. Anything you could do for now?”

“More group therapy and coping techniques, I suppose. Little else we can do.”

I nod thoughtfully. Honestly, I have no idea what he’s talking about, but I try to be interested. It’s important to him so I do my best. 

He slowly strokes my hair. I lean closer to him. “How’s your work going, love?”

“It’s alright. Kids aren’t being too destructive. Oh, I’ve been working on something else though.”

Baz smiles, pulling me closer. “What’s that?”

“A new scone recipe.”

He lets out a joyous laugh, throwing his head back so far some of his gelled hair gets dislodged. I like the way a few raven strands fall in his face. “You seriously haven’t run out of new ones to try?”

I shrug. “Not yet. Maybe one day.”

“And then you’ll start making your own.”

“Probably.” I throw both arms around his torso, squeezing him tight. “I’ll give them to you to try.”

He chuckles softly. “Well, maybe. I have to stay in good shape to keep up with the other residents, and I can’t mess up what little sleep I have.”

I deflate slightly. Right, he’s gotta watch his health more than me. I should remember that. Bloody hell, I’m a terrible boyfriend. “R-Right. Well, I’ll make something else for you I guess...”

He makes a humming noise, but I can’t tell what it means. I’m horrible at non-verbal cues and unfortunately Baz is still no exception. I want to ask him about being around, about us being together, but the words get all tangled in my throat. I don’t know how to ask him without sounding like a selfish arse. 

(Maybe I am a selfish arse. Maybe I don’t deserve this, deserve him.)

(No no, Simon, stop it, stop with the self deprecation.)

(Even though he is better than me...)

I’m about to open my mouth when two clashing beeps ring out. Baz and I scramble to our phones.

“Fuck,” I groan. “Emergency staff meeting in twenty minutes. I’m gonna need to get a cab.”

“Me too,” Baz sighs. “Dr. Dehnavi wants to talk to me about a new inpatient. I suppose I should be flattered, but I’m more annoyed.”

“We’re both suffering it seems.”

“Apparently.” Baz leans over and pecks my lips. I lean forward, just slightly, asking for more that I can’t have right now. “I’ll text you later, love.”

“Yeah, me too.” We dash off in different directions. The questions I have still hang in my throat, but I put them down for now. Next time. Maybe...

———————————————

Thursday April 21

Baz [06:06] Hi, love. I’m finally done my night shift. We still on for the cafe this afternoon?

Simon [07:01] hey sorry I didn’t get this until now. unfortunately i’ve got some last minute extra tutoring to do with Sasha sorry 

Baz [07:02] It’s alright. You free Friday night?

Simon [07:02] nah got grading ☹️ gotta go to class ttyl!

Baz [07:02] Alright, talk to you later.

———————————————

Sunday April 30

Simon [17:37] hey baz can I come over tonight?

Baz [17:58] Unfortunately not. I’m on call for OBGYN all night. Lots of sitting with tiny sick babies in the NICU...

Simon [18:05] fuck that doesn’t sound fun at all ☹️

Baz [18:06] Absolutely is not. I’ll text you later okay?

Simon [18:06] Okay ❤️

———————————————

Wednesday May 8

Baz [22:24] I miss you

Simon [22:24] I miss you too

———————————————

My phone rings at lunch. Baz’s slightly smiling face looks right back at me. I took the photo one night when we were watching telly. He’s got his hair all piled up in a bun, wearing an LSE sweatshirt. He looks gorgeous, as always. I’m so entranced by the picture that I answer it just before the last ring.

“Hey,” I say. “What’s up?”

“Not much,” Baz replies, sounding extremely tired. (He’s been sounding like that more and more lately.) “How’s your day been?”

“Not too bad. Joey fired a spitball at me, but I took the straw away pretty quickly.“

“Dear Lord, you teach monsters.”

I chuckle, shaking my head. “Nope, just children, love. They’re naturally nightmares.”

“Don’t have to tell me, Snow, I have four younger siblings.” He sighs, and I can imagine him tilting his head back, hair falling down behind him. It’s a nice image. “Are you free next Friday?”

“Hm, let me check.” I look at my Google calendar, which is filled to the brim with multicoloured event tabs, everything from field trips to when lesson plans need to be done. (I consider the second one more a guideline than a rule.) Friday is surprisingly blank. A grin breaks out across my face. “Yeah, Friday is good. Got something in mind?”

“Well, I finally have a Friday off. So I was thinking we could dress up and go somewhere nice. Somewhere with fine food, candles, a generally romantic atmosphere. Does that sound good to you?”

I can’t help biting my bottom lip like some stupid teenager. I haven’t seen my boyfriend in person in nearly three weeks, sue me. Sure there’s been some texting and calls and Facetimes, but none of that compares to the real thing. I’ve missed how Baz’s long fingers feel between mine, or the way he cups my cheek perfectly when he kisses me. I just want to be with him. And finally we have a chance.

“That sounds very good. And uh...” I take a pause to muscle up courage to say what I really,  really  want to say. “Do you want to go to my place afterwards? And sleep over? But y’know...not sleep?” Baz snorts. My cheeks are probably bright red. I groan and rub my forehead. “Sorry, that sounded dumb. I’m an adult, I should be able to talk about sex openly.”

Baz sighs in his strangely affectionate way. “Well, we both know you’re not the best with words, Snow.”

I chuckle and shrug. “Okay, true. But the message still got across right? What I’m asking? But please don’t feel pressured, I just wanted to ask if we could try...”

“Yes, it definitely did. And I would love to try. I think six months is a long enough wait. And I’m really sorry about that.”

“Don’t blame yourself, love, we’ve both been pretty physically absent. Life has just been nuts for us.”

“Agreed. So it’ll be nice to...unwind a bit.”

My face is absolutely bright red now. A lot of inappropriate thoughts are racing through my head right now. I have to shove them down so my brain doesn’t start dribbling out my ears before I have to go back to teaching.

“I-I would like that a lot too.” And of course the first lunch bell decides to ring just then. I groan loudly. “Fuck, lunch is over. Kids will be back soon. Text you later to set up details?”

“Sounds good. Bye, darling.

“Bye, darling.”

I listen until Baz hangs up, then press my phone to my chest with a sigh. I feel so unbelievably giddy. It’s ridiculous, really, to be this excited about a dinner and (possible) sex. But for some reason, my chest is so full it's about to explode. I want to run around the room, shouting to the heavens that I’m going on a lovely, romantic date with Basilton Grimm-Pitch.

Fuck, maybe I really am love. That’s a terrifying, wonderful thought.

———————————————

“Does my hair look alright?” I tousle it to the left, then to the right, then to the left again. Penny sighs and shakes her head on my screen.

“It looks fine either way. But if you don’t decide soon, you’re going to be late!”

I groan and tighten my tie, trying to see myself in my tiny image in the corner. “I know, I know, I just want this to be perfect.”

“Nothing can be perfect, Si.”

“Yeah, but I can try.” I sigh, buttoning my grey suit jacket. This is the one nice suit I own, and I took great precautions to keep it from getting wrinkled on my way to work. “So much hasn’t gone right or easily in our relationship. I want one thing to not go down the drain.”

Penny nods thoughtfully. “Understandable. Just also be realistic.”

“Yes, I will.” I check my watch (a graduation gift from Penny that goes really well with my suit) and inhale sharply. “Shit, I really do have to go. Bye, Pen!”

She waves with a big, toothy smile. “Bye, Si, good luck!”

“Thank you!”

We press the red button at the same time. I tuck my phone into my jacket, then do a last cursory look at myself. No wrinkles? Check. Dashingly messy hair? Check. “Supplies” for later waiting in my bedside table at home? Absolutely check. Awesome. I’m so bloody excited I could seriously start flying right now.

“M-Mr. Snow?”

My head head whips around at the small, familiar voice. It’s Jeremy, with his wavy brown hair and little freckles. He’s sniffling, wiping his nose and blood shot eyes. I immediately rush forward and get on my knees in front of him.

“Jeremy? What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

He makes a big sniff, more tears falling down his cheeks. “M-My dad was supposed to pick me up outside, but he never came! And Ms. Reinhart tried to call my mum and she’s not answering and I don’t know what to do!”

He breaks out into another sob. He wraps his little arms around my neck, crying into my shoulder. I pat his back, trying to comfort as best I can. Poor kid. I’m unfortunately aware of what Jeremy’s parents are like. This isn’t out of character for them. His dad’s probably off with his college age mistress and his mum is partying late with her friends. From what I know, Jeremy was an accidental teen pregnancy, and now his parents hate each other and resent Jeremy for “ruining” their young lives. (Baz would say something about emotional stunting and projecting and shit.) This is the first time they’ve truly abandoned him though. Poor, poor kid.

“Is there anyone you trust who could come get you?” I ask quietly.

“My aunt,” he sniffles. “But she’s super far away.”

“Okay, where does she live?”

“L-Luton, I think.”

Fuck, he’s not exaggerating. Luton is an hour away on a good day, and it’s the middle of London rush hour. His parents may be able get here before her, but she’s probably much more stable than both of them put together.

“Alright. Do you know her number?”

Jeremy nods and moves off my shoulder. He pulls out a cheap flip phone. One of his parents probably gave it to him for emergencies. That’s one good decision on their part. He then hands it to me. The contact is listed as “Auntie Caroline.” I stand up and press dial, Jeremy still clinging to my leg. It only rings twice before it’s picked up.

“Jeremy?” a seemingly female voice says, sounding utterly frantic. “Are you okay, love?”

“Hi,” I say, “I’m Simon Snow, Jeremy’s teacher. Don’t worry, he’s here with me, he’s safe.”

She lets out a very deep sigh. “Oh thank god. Is there something wrong?”

“Unfortunately, yes. His father was supposed to pick him up but hasn’t shown, and his mother isn’t answering her calls.”

“Those bastards,” she growls. “My brother and his good for nothing wife have already put him through hell, but this just takes the bloody cake!”

“Believe me, I agree with you. Considering our shared opinion, I was hoping you could come pick him up? I know it’s a lot to ask this late and you’re all the way in Luton but-”

“Don't have to ask me twice. I’ll be there as soon as I can. But it’s going to take me an hour, maybe two.”

I think about Baz, about everything we have planned, about every missed connection these past few weeks. But then I look down at Jeremy, who has the most tragic expression I’ve ever laid my eyes upon. I sigh heavily, then put the phone back to my ear.

“Don’t worry, I’ll stay with him at school until you come. Let me give you the address.”

I rattle off the school’s address, my room number, and the best route to get here. She listens raptly, obviously scribbling it all down.

“Alright, got it. Thank you, Mr. Snow, this means so much to me.”

“No problem, see you soon.”

The line clicks off. I get back down in front of Jeremy. “Your aunt is going to be here soon, Jer. Until then, we’re gonna stay here and sit tight. Okay?”

Jeremy nods, wiping away more snot. “O-Okay.”

“Awesome. How about you go sit in the reading corner and I’ll join you in just a sec.”

“Okay.” He throws himself at me, hugging me tight. “Thank you, Mr. Snow.”

I smile and pat his head. “You’re very welcome, Jeremy. Now go read and get your mind off all this.”

He pulls away and runs over to the reading nook, throwing himself into the neon pink bean bag chair. He grabs a Harry Potter book. Good pick, it’s something he’s familiar with. Though I hate to think how much he relates to the way Harry grew up.

I go to my desk on the other side of the room and take my phone out. Baz’s beautiful contact picture stares back at me, and my heart twists painfully. I hate this situation. I hate that I’m doing this again after nearly three bloody weeks of no physical contact. I can only hope he can understand. And forgive me. The other end rings three times. 

“Hey.” Baz’s honey sweet voice is both comforting and painful right now.

“Hey,” I sigh.

“Oh no, that’s not a good ‘hey,’ is it?”

“No, unfortunately, it’s not.” I run a hand through my hair. “Remember Jeremy? One of my kids?”

“Yes, the one with the arsehole parents.”

“Yeah, that’s him. And tonight his parents have really taken the cake. Dad was supposed to be here but is probably off shagging his barely legal mistress, and mum is probably out clubbing and not picking up either.”

“Bloody hell, what a nightmare.”

“Exactly.” I slump into my chair, tugging my tie loose. “His aunt’s coming to pick him up, but...she lives in Luton...”

It’s Baz’s turn to sigh deeply. “And you’re going to have to stay with him until she gets there.”

God, I'm such an arsehole, and a predictable one at that. “I’m so, so sorry, Baz. I really wanted to go out tonight, and I know you don’t get many days off. This is such an out of the blue thing and I can’t just leave him. I promise I’ll make it up to you.”

“It’s alright, Snow, I understand. I’ll hold you to that promise, okay?”

“Please do. I’ll text you later, yeah?”

“That’s good. Bye, love.” The tinge of sadness in Baz’s voice fucking kills me.

“Bye, darling.”

He hangs up, and I hang my head with a quiet groan. I’m such a dickhead. I could’ve left Jeremy with Ms. Reinhart and went on my date, but I know she has a sick mother at home that she takes care of. Then I would have ruined the date by feeling all guilty and shit. I hate that this is probably the best choice.

“Mr. Snow?” I turn to Jeremy. He’s looking at me with a furrowed brow and pout. “Are you okay?”

I shove all my guilt and worry deep down, and put a big smile on my face. “Yeah, I’m good, Jer. Now how about you read some Harry Potter to me? I’d love to hear it.”

A grin breaks out on his face. “Okay.”

I leave my jacket and tie on my desk and stride over to him. I sit in the beanbag next to him. (Of course I didn’t get these things just for the kids.) Jeremy opens the book to his page.

“Chapter 12,” he starts with gusto

And I sit there listening to him for God knows how long. I laugh, make comments, correct his pronunciation when needed. I'm still a teacher after all. Then when the chapter is done, we watch silly animal videos on my laptop. I make sure Jeremy is happy. He deserves that after all of this. He needs to feel safe. I just wish it wasn’t at the sacrifice of Baz getting stood up,  again. God, am I ever going to get to see my boyfriend again? Is the universe ever going to let us have a moment together? I can’t really blame the universe though, I guess. This was my choice. I’m awful. Baz doesn’t deserve this. I don’t deserve him, honestly.

Soon enough, a middle aged woman with long pink and purple hair sticks her head through the door at the other side of the room. “Hello?”

Jeremy grins and drops the book immediately. “Auntie Caroline!”

Caroline grins and catches Jeremy right in her arms, holding him up high. I walk to them but keep a good distance. “Hey munchkin, good to see you. You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, Mr. Snow stayed with me. We watched kittens!”

“That sounds awesome.” Caroline turns to me. “Thank you so much, Mr. Snow. Is there any way I can repay you?”

I wave my hand. “Don’t worry, no payment is needed. Just glad Jeremy has somewhere to go.

Her face falls slightly. She puts Jeremy down, touching his head. “Can you go get all your stuff, dear?”

“Okay!” Jeremy races off to the cubby area at ten year old speed. It’s a unique phenomenon. Caroline looks at me with a very serious expression.

“Here’s the thing,” she says in a hushed tone, “I’ve been trying to build a custody case for months, but I haven’t been able to get concrete proof of abuse and neglect. This changes things. If my lawyer needs you to, could you please testify at the custody hearing? I know it’s a lot to ask. You’ve already done so much, so if you can’t, I understand-”

“Say no more.” I take a sticky note from my desk and write out my mobile number. “Here. Tell your lawyer they’re free to call me. I’ll do anything to help Jeremy get somewhere safe.”

She sighs and takes the note. “Thank you, Mr. Snow.”

“Please, call me Simon. Only my students have to use my last name so I can pretend I have their respect.”

She chuckles. “Okay, Simon. It’s no wonder Jeremy says you’re his favourite teacher.”

Well, I don’t need an ego stroke (at least that’s what I tell myself), but...it’s nice. I nod with a humble smile. “Good to know.”

Jeremy runs up, wearing his bright red power rangers backpack. “Ready.”

“Awesome. Say goodbye to Mr. Snow.”

Jeremy gives me a big, full arm wave. “Bye bye, Mr. Snow.”

I tousle his hair, making him giggle. “Bye, Jeremy. See you Monday.”

“See you!” He grabs Caroline’s hand and literally skips away with her. Honestly, I’ve never seen him this happy outside of class. He usually hangs his head and slumps off after hanging around in the cubby area for as long as possible. I know the patter well. It's what I used to do before I went to Watford, when I was stuck in shitty group homes. I hope Caroline gets custody. Jeremy deserves to be happy.

Slowly but surely, I collect all my stuff, from my snot covered jacket to my book bag. I look at my phone, and see a few texts from Baz.

Baz [16:56] Hey, just wanted to reassure you that I’m not upset, I understand. I’ll get another day off eventually.

Baz [18:30] I’ve got some takeout, it’s lovely. I’ll save some for you the next time you come over ❤️

Baz [19:18] I’m going to bed soon. Hope Jeremy gets to his aunt’s safe. Good night, love.

I sigh, my heart feeling like a lead balloon. I absolutely need to make this up to him. I’ll figure something out when my brain isn’t so exhausted. For now, I can at least text him back.

Simon [19:23] Sleep well, love. I’ll talk to you in the morning ❤️

Baz doesn’t reply. He’s probably asleep. Probably...

I walk home with my shoulders slumped and feeling like an utter, utter twat.

———————————————

“I’m a dick,” I groan.

“You’re not a dick,” Penny says. “You did the right thing and kept a student safe. That makes you an incredible teacher.”

“And a crap boyfriend.” I throw my cookie dough on the counter a little too hard. It makes an awful splat noise.

“Well, maybe, but Baz has bailed because of his work as well. And he said he understood.”

I grumble as I roll out little balls between my hands. Baking always helps me calm down. Well, usually. Right now I’m close to crushing each one. “Yeah, I guess, but I still feel super bad.”

“Well, take him out on his next day off.”

“Yeah,” I chuckle darkly, “that’ll probably be in about two or three months.”

Penny sighs, sounding just as defeated as I feel. “That fucking sucks. I can’t believe his schedule is really that insane.”

“He works himself to the bone, because he’s a great doctor and he’s going to be a great psychiatrist. It just means we don’t get a lot of time together, but it’s fine.”

“No, it’s not fine. Both of you need to carve out more time for each other. You’re not the only one who is having issues, Si.”

“Yeah, but like, he can’t help but work more. Being a doctor is more demanding than being a teacher. He doesn’t have control of his hours.”

“Neither do you!” She’s practically yelling. “Being a good teacher means going above and beyond for your students. Therefore, you  have to put in extra hours if you want your students to have a great education.”

I make a semi agreement noise. My non-verbal way of saying she may have a point but I don’t like it. “Okay, maybe. But Baz doesn’t deserve to be neglected because of it.”

“Of course he doesn’t, Si, which is why you have to make time for him. And he has to do the same for you if you want this relationship to work.”

“I know you’re right, Pen, I just don’t know how.”

There’s a small pause, and I can imagine Pen stroking her chin like the old scholar she is in spirit. It’s comforting to think of. Penny thinking was a staple of the best parts of my childhood.

“What time is it where you are?” she asks.

I look down at my watch. “Uh, about 11?”

“Good. Finish what you’re baking, bring it to the hospital, surprise Baz with home baked treats. Then see if you can get Baz to go to lunch with you. If not, at least give him something to eat during his insane shift. Try to talk to him or ask him to talk about all this later. Sound doable?”

I’m grinning so wide it threatens to dislodge my earbuds. “Yeah, definitely sounds doable. Thanks, Pen.”

“No problem. Si. Now can I run this new lesson plan by you?”

“Absolutely, go ahead.”

Penny starts rattling off her curriculum points while I throw the cookies in the oven. And for the first time today, I feel good. I feel hopeful. It’s nice. I’ve missed it.

———————————————

UCLH is a towering, intimidating giant of white metal and panes of glass. It’s hard to not feel freaked out looking at it. Anytime I went to the hospital as a kid it was because of a fight at the group home or injuries from particularly awful foster parents. There was never a good reason to be here. Until now, that is.

From what I remember, Baz said he would be on psychiatry today. Problem is, I have no idea where the fuck that is. I can barely navigate my tiny school. This is an entirely different, far more sterile beast. I walk to the front desk where a man with big round glasses and very cool arm tattoos is sitting.

“Hi,” I say cheerily as possible.

“Hello,” he replies with a perfect, pearly white smile and a thick American accent. “How can I help you today?”

“Uh, I’m looking for the psychiatry wing? Specifically for Dr. Grimm-Pitch.”

“Okay. Are you a patient...?

“No, no, I’m his boyfriend. Got some stuff to drop off for him if he’s not too busy.” I hold up the Christmas tupperware filled with raspberry and white chocolate chip cookies. They’re Baz’s favourite.

The man’s eyebrows shoot up. “Oh, you’re Basil’s boyfriend?”

“Yeah, last time I checked,” I chuckle.

“Wow. Nice to finally meet you. I’m Shepard, from Omaha, Nebraska.” 

He holds out his hand, and I of course shake it. “Nice to meet you, Shepard from Omaha, Nebraska. I’m Simon, from uh, Lancashire, I guess.”

“Good too meet you too, man.” He leans his cheek on his hand. “Y’know, Basil has mentioned you exist a couple times, but won’t say anything else no matter how much I beg him.”

I shrug with a smile. “He’s a private person.”

“Yeah, but if I were dating you, I’d be bragging about it.”

Well, now my face must look utterly ridiculous. I’m twenty five years old and blushing from one compliment. “T-Thanks, wow. You’re pretty forward.”

He throws his head back laughing. “Nah, just blunt, man. And way too nosy, at least according to your boyfriend. Says I have some sort of anxiety fueled need to overshare and figure out everything about people."

"That...sounds odd."

Shepard shrugs. "Pretty sure it's made up. Besides, I already have two therapists. Don't need a third one." He laughs, and I laugh along with him. Thought part of me is truly concerned about him. Hope he's okay, he seems nice. "Anyway, I hope Basil is less intense outside of work than here.”

“Most of the time, yeah. He’s got his softer side, just has trouble showing it.”

“Believe it when I see it. Also,” he hands me a pamphlet, “psychiatry is on the fifth floor. Take the south elevator up and turn to the right. Basil should be at the front desk. Said he had patient files to sort all day.”

“Awesome, thanks.” I take out a cookie and hold it out to him. “Here, you can have this, unless you’re allergic to berries, gluten, or dairy.”

“Nope. I will happily take that.” He plucks it from my hand. “Thanks, man. Tell Basil I say hi, and I still have his pen.”

“Will do, thanks!”

He waves me off with half the cookie already in his mouth. Interesting guy. I may have to come back to talk to him more.

I follow Shepard’s instructions as best I can. Though I get lost trying to find the elevators,  twice. The halls twist and turn and loop back in on themselves. Seriously, who designed this hospital, Willy Wonka? Eventually I finally make it to the elevators and suffer in the sanitizer smelling tube for five floors. The psychiatry floor itself isn’t too bad, just kind of bland. Lots of blank grey walls and inoffensive paintings of scenic nature. And it’s pretty straight forward compared to the first floor. I just have to walk down the hall, turn at the “front desk” sign, and there will be-

I freeze in place. There’s Baz, with some redheaded guy leaning on his desk.

“Come on, Basil, you can’t be serious,” he says in a smooth, beautiful voice. “I’d totally shag Dr. Mayer over Dr. Dehnavi. Mayer has such polished charm.”

“Hm, I prefer a more ruggish look,” Baz replies with a half smile. “And Dehnavi gets that wonderful five o’clock shadow after a day of rounds.”

“True, very true. Not so hot when he’s yelling about oral board prep.”

Baz lets out a laugh, shaking his head. Wisps of black hair fall in his face. He looks at the redhead with a sly smile. “Well, I haven’t gotten to that point yet. But I do get an earful about SSRI dosage levels.”

“Oh lord, you’re giving me baby doctor flashbacks, stop. I’m scared Dr. D is going to be on the other side to yell our asses into submission.” 

They laugh together, and redhead moves closer to Baz, their hands nearly touching. My heart drops to the ground and burrows into the centre of the fucking Earth.

Baz looks at ease, content, and most of all, this guy seems to understand what the hell he’s talking about. Definitely more than I ever have. And he’s super bloody attractive. And he’s there, like I haven’t been. Fuck. Deep down, I thought this was going to happen, but it’s still ripping me apart. Baz has found someone better. I’m just the stupid poor orphaned kid he had a crush on in school. Now he’s gotten those old feelings out of his system and he’s found someone, another doctor no less, who can easily be a better boyfriend. Bloody hell, I’m about to cry. I need to go, right now.

I quietly and quickly get away. Going back through the hospital is a blur. And not just because my eyes are filled with tears and fogging up my glasses. My brain is a jumbled, heartbroken mess that can’t focus on anything. I think Shepard waves at me as I walk past but I can’t bring myself to respond right now. I don’t stop moving until I throw myself into my car, tossing the cookies on the front seat.

Finally, I have to stop. And worse I have to think. So, Baz has found a new guy. Some pretty red haired doctor who makes him laugh with doctor humour and probably doesn’t bail. He’s probably going to break up with me today. I should just break up with him, save him the hassle...

I’m gripping the steering wheel so hard my knuckles are white. My cheeks are raw from wiping tears away. I think about losing Baz, losing a chance to make things better, and it's the worst pain I've ever felt. A small part of me thought that maybe Baz was it. That he was the person I could actually, possibly spend the rest of my life with. Maybe it was a stupid thought. I was so stupid.

My head falls forward, forehead pressed against the wheel. And I just cry.

———————————————

I’ve called in sick for a week. I’ve never called in for that long, not once in my teaching career. But I can’t get off my couch, let alone leave my flat. I’ve been laying here for days, surrounded by takeaway wrappers, watching old Dr. Who episodes, cuddling Cherry nonstop. Penny is probably worried about me but I haven’t really been using my phone. I’ve tried to call Baz a few times, but always hang up before it starts dialing. I know I should just rip off the band-aid already. But I’m a coward, I guess. I’ll just lay here, waiting for Baz to call me and finally dump me. Every time I think about it, I still cry a little.

The phone rings and my heart gets so tight I can hardly breathe. Fuck, this is it. I slowly lift it up. But it’s not Baz’s photo I see, or Penny’s. Rather, it’s Agatha’s, grinning with her soft California tan. I press talk right away.

“Hello?” I say

“Oh thank god,” Agatha sighs, “you’re alive. We were all sure you’d been in a horrible accident or something!”

“Um, no, I’m fine, just a little under the weather.”

“Then why haven’t you been answering your fucking texts, you arse?!”

I move the phone away from my ear slightly to avoid hearing loss. “I told you, I’ve been sick. Haven’t felt like responding...”

“Okay, that excuse could work on Baz or even Penny, but I’m not buying it. Cut the crap, Simon, what’s wrong?”

I sigh, running a hand over my face. Well, she’s here, and I’m too tired to make up another lie. “Baz is breaking up with me.”

“What?!” I move the phone again. Agatha is going to make me go partially deaf in one phone call. “That dickhead! I- Wait, what do you mean is?”

“Well, uh...he hasn’t dumped me yet...”

Agatha takes a pause. I can imagine her expression right now. Probably a lot of confusion mixed with disbelief. “Okay, please explain this to me, because I’m so lost.”

I sit up, scratching the back of my neck. “Well, um, Baz and I have been having issues meeting up for the past month. Things kept happening. Baz had this wonderful date planned after three weeks of not seeing each other. But then a kid from my class needed someone to stay with him because his stupid parents wouldn’t show up and we had to wait for someone else. So I cancelled and Baz said he understood but I still felt awful. Then the next day I was going to bring him cookies to say sorry, but when I got there, I saw him chatting with this redhead doctor. And I realised Baz had found someone better. Hoped it wouldn't happen but yeah, he’s going to break up with me. Just waiting for him to call or come over. I’d do it myself but I’m too much of a wimp.”

There’s a long drawn out silence. The only sounds are the California waves on Aggie’s end and Cherry meowing for attention on mine. More than ever, I wish I was a mind reader. I want to know what’s going through her head. It’s probably less muddled than mine.

“Simon,” she says slowly, “I need you to know that I’m only saying this because I love you very, very much. This all comes from a place of caring.”

“Uh...okay?” Now I really need to know what’s in her head. But I think I’m about to find out.

Agatha takes a few deep breaths, and then, well...explodes. “You absolute, goddamn fucking numpty! You’re seriously throwing away objectively the best relationship you’ve ever had because you saw him chit chatting with some redheaded twat!? For Christ’s sake, Simon, this is beyond idiotic and self destructive!”

“Hey I-”

“Shush, Simon!” I shut my mouth. “I get you have some serious self esteem issues, Si, but what happened to acknowledging and dealing with them? You are not a warm body for Baz until he finds someone ‘better.’ He’s been pining after you since bloody Watford and being with you is his dream come true. I know because he’s told me so!”

My cheeks flush a little. “R-Really?”

“Yes, really! He adores you, Si, he thinks you hung the bloody moon. In no world would he just up and dump you!”

“I-I mean, yeah, but like, I’ve been an awful boyfriend lately. I wouldn’t blame him if he did...”

“You really think Basilton Pitch, king of overthinking and future psychiatrist, would dump you without first trying to talk?”

“Um, well, I can see your point.”

“Good. I promise you, Simon, he doesn’t want to break up with you. But if you don’t talk to him soon, it may be too late. So get your arse in gear and get your guy. Or I’ll come from all the way across a continent and an ocean just to smack you upside the head.”

I chuckle softly. Huh, this is the first time that’s happened in awhile. Feels good to laugh. “Okay, will do. Thank you, Ags.”

“You’re very welcome, Si. Please send me an update later so I know you’re okay? And Penny too so she doesn’t blow a gasket.”

“I promise. Talk to you later?”

“Talk to you later, Simon. Bye.”

“Bye.”

The second my phone is off, I jump up. I’m invigorated with new energy, both happy and terrified. I may have just ruined the best thing that’s ever happened to me because I’m insecure as fuck. I’ve got to fix it. Before it’s too late.

I pick up all the takeaway containers at lightning speed. They don’t all fit into my trash though (God that’s sad), so I have to get a new trash bag. At least I don’t have a depression nest anymore. That’s a good start. Next step, I run to the shower. I smell fucking ripe. No way I can apologize while smelling like the bottom of a McDonald’s dumpster. Thank every god that I still have some hot water left. I scrub quickly and furiously until I stop feeling so gross.

I jump out and go to my room. Unfortunately, I haven’t done my laundry in a week either. The only things I have are a baggy pair of jeans and one of Baz’s shirts. It’s soft cream with flower buds on it. For all his dark brooding, Baz has a thing for florals. It smells like him, cedar and bergamot with a hint of hospital antiseptic. I put it on.

I’m halfway through the buttons when I hear my door open and close. What the fuck? Who’s here? Who has a key?

“Snow?” Baz’s voice calls out. “Simon, are you here?”

Oh. Oh shit. I dash out of my room, shirt still half open. I even slide on my laminate floor like a cartoon character. Baz is standing in my entryway. And he looks like a total mess. His hair is disheveled, there are huge dark circles under his eyes, and he’s got close to an actual honest to god beard. We just stare at each other way too long. Until I can find my words again.

“Baz,” I stutter. “Hi. W-What are you-”

“Oh thank god.” He runs forward and throws his arms around me in the tightest hug I’ve ever felt. “You’re alive. I thought you were dead or in a coma or-” He pulls back. His eyebrows are all scrunched up. “Is that my shirt?”

My face starts to heat up. “Um, uh, yeah. Didn’t have anything else. I was going to see you. What are you doing here? Are you okay?”

He scoffs, but it’s with a smile. “No, not really, I’ve been worried sick all week. You weren’t answering my texts or Bunce’s. I was scared shitless. I came here because it was my last resort.” He pushes back my hair, rubbing his thumbs along my temple. It’s downright tender. “I’m just so glad you’re okay.” His hands move to my shoulders. “Where did you go?”

“I, uh-” I hang my head. “I-I did something dumb. And I got super sad and I didn’t know what to do. So I was just here a lot...”

His eyes grow wide. “You were here at your apartment? All week?”

“Um, yeah...”

He steps back and blinks. His face is just blank, and honestly it’s more freaky than him panicking. “You’ve been home alone all week, and didn’t tell me?” I nod slowly. That blank face suddenly morphs into unbridled anger. “What the fuck, Snow?! You couldn’t take two seconds to text me back to let me know you’re bloody alive?!”

“I-I didn’t know you texted.”

“Check your phone!”

I scramble over to my couch and scoop up my phone. I haven’t looked at my notifications out of fear. Oh...oh fuck. 53 missed text messages, and 42 are from Baz. My stomach feels like it’s full of rocks. I really am the worst.

“Oh god,” I say, voice very strained. “I’m so sorry, Baz, I was just so caught up in my shit, I wasn’t checking my phone-”

“Obviously.” He rubs the bridge of his nose. “Why did you come to my work?”

My eyes go very wide and my body becomes very stiff. “Wait, you saw me there?”

“No, but Shepard came to talk to me the next day. He asked if my boyfriend was alright because he ran out looking upset. I was surprised he knew who my boyfriend was, and even more so that you were there. So why were you at UCLH and talk to me?”

“Uh, I wanted to talk to you and say sorry for standing you up. B-But when I came, you were um, talking to this guy...” I curl in myself, rubbing my arm. “And I freaked out because I thought after I fucked up the date you’d found someone better and...were going to dump me.”

I look up, and Baz’s jaw is wide open. He drags his hands down his face. “Oh my god, Simon,” he groans, “after all the time we’ve spent together, I can’t believe you still think that low of me.”

“N-No! I don’t!”

“You thought I would dump you after six months together because of a cancelled date? Which you cancelled to help a neglected child?! I’m not a monster, Snow, I’d never do that.”

“Y-Yeah, I know, Baz. It’s just...” I rub the back of my neck. “When I saw you with him, it made all this shit come up and I totally panicked-”

“I understand that, Simon. But it was one conversation with another guy! Why did you ghost me instead of just talking?”

He sounds less angry, more desperate than anything. But it makes me feel even worse. “Because...because I got scared and anxious and I hated seeing it so much...yeah.”

Baz’s mouth is a thin line. “That’s not a real answer, Snow. Why on Earth did you think the worst of me instead of trying to talk?”

“It’s not about you!” I shout desperately. All the words are so muddled up, I can’t get them out. It’s not Baz’s fault, my brain is just being so unhelpful right now. I wasn’t ready for this talk, fuck.

“What does that mean? You stopped talking to me because you thought I was bloody cheating on you! How is this not about me in some capacity?!”

“I didn’t think you were cheating! I just- I thought- I just got so freaked out because I didn’t want to lose you-”

“You weren’t going to lose me!”

“But I thought I was and that scared me so much because I- well, I-”

“Because what, Snow?!”

“Because I love you, you massive arsehole!”

The room goes absolutely, perfectly silent. Baz’s lips have fallen wide open. I inhale sharply. Oh God, did I really just say that out loud? I clap a hand over my mouth and look down, trying to get my breathing under control. I can’t believe I just did that. I’m such an idiot. Baz is going to dump me for sure. Adores me or not, I’ve probably scared him off. My hand falls down.

“I’m so sorry, Baz,” I say softly. “I-I didn’t mean to say that. It just came out-”

“Did you mean it?” I lift my eyes up slightly. I expect Baz to look horrified, angry, maybe even disgusted. But instead he looks...kind of awestruck? His eyes are wider than I’ve ever seen them before. I think about lying, but I don’t think he’s upset. And I have a feeling that if I lie he will be. I think I need to stop hiding my feelings from Baz.

“Yeah. I did.”

His lips fall open even more. And I swear, he’s smiling a little. My heart is beating faster. “Seriously? You...you love me?  In love with me?”

I take a deep breath, trying to calm down my racing mind. I nod and take a small step forward. Not crowding Baz, but getting closer. “Yeah. I'm in love with you, Baz. I-I know it’s too soon, but I can’t help-”

Baz cuts me off with the most intense, head spinning, world shaking kiss of my life. He presses the small of my back with one hand and grabs my curls with the other. I literally stumble backwards from it. Baz takes the chance to press me against my hallway wall. Like he’s shielding from the world with his own body. He’s kissing me so hard, so passionately, and I can’t help but melt. 

Is this Baz’s way of saying he loves me too? I don’t know. Honestly, I don’t care. This is heavenly to the Nth degree. I’m good at turning off my brain when needed. So that’s exactly what I do.

I push back against Baz with equal force. He groans so deeply it makes me shudder. I grip his face tight, pushing my fingers through his tangled but still soft hair. He drags his tongue along my bottom teeth, slowly and carefully. I nearly melt into a puddle. We’ve never kissed like this before. Even our most intense snogging sections don’t come close. It’s like Baz is trying to touch and grab every part of me but can’t decide which. I don’t mind. He can have it. I’d give him all that I am and more. I’d tie our hearts together, chamber by chamber.

Baz runs his hands down my thigh. I can feel the heat through my trackies. He hooks under one of my knees, pulling it up. I think I get the message. (I hope). I jump, fully prepared to fall flat on my arse, but Baz catches me easily. I wrap my legs around his waist while he holds me up above him. Christ, he’s strong. It’s so hot. And I love this angle, because I can snog the life out of him more easily. This is amazing. But I still want more.

I pull off his mouth (sadly), just enough so I can speak. “Bed?”

Baz just nods and kisses me again. He pulls us off the wall. He barely stumbles as he walks us through my flat. I scramble to unbutton his shirt. I know Baz is really into this because he’s making no fuss about me possibly ruining his clothes. Soon enough, we stumble into my bedroom. Baz quickly kicks the door shut, cutting off the rest of the world, and I don’t mind one bit.

———————————————

Baz and I roll apart solely because we need to breathe. Our chests are heaving. My blankets and sheets are completely tangled around us. I’m more sweaty than the one time I tried to go to a cross fit class. However, this was a way better workout. I’m glad I kept all those supplies in my nightstand.

So, now I know what sex with Baz is like. It’s sweaty, vigorous, a little awkward, and so,  so  incredible. Pretty sure my brains have been thoroughly fucked out. It takes me a few panting moments for me to muster up a singular word.

“Wow,” I say. My voice is really hoarse, but I absolutely don’t mind.

Baz lets out a small laugh. His voice sounds rough too. It’s really hot. “Still very eloquent.”

“Fuck off.” I lightly push his sweaty shoulder. But when I start to pull back, Baz grabs my wrist and tugs me towards him. Before I know it, Baz is kissing me again. It’s soft, slow but so unbelievably hot. I completely melt into his arms. He’s so warm and strong and I could spend an eternity wrapped up in him. No more work or life, just Baz and I in this bed forever. My god that would be a dream come true.

He pulls off to kiss across my cheeks, then down my neck. He already knows the exact spots that drive me insane. (Well, Baz has always been a quick study.) My eyes flutter closed. I’m falling into that haze again, where my head gets foggy and I can only think in “yes” and “please” and  “more.” Part of me wants to sink back into that bliss, but the aching of my out of shape muscles is unfortunately more insistent.

“Baz,” I whisper, “as much as I would like a fourth round, I’d also like to be able to walk tomorrow.”

Baz groans, but relents and rolls onto his back. We settle for just staring at each other. I don’t mind. Baz is always gorgeous but he is a different kind of beautiful right now. His face is all flushed, pupils blown wide, black hair plastered to his damp forehead. And I thought I couldn’t get more attracted to him.

“You alright?” he asks.

“Yeah, absolutely.” I cup his face, running a thumb on his cheekbone. “You?”

“I’m bloody fantastic.” He spreads his fingers out on my side, tracing the most delicate patterns that make me shudder. “Can’t believe I was so scared of this.”

My heart beats faster as my eyebrows scrunch up. “Scared? Of what?  Me? I’m sorry-”

“Don’t apologize, Snow. I wasn’t scared of you, not at all.” He sighs and pulls me a little bit closer. “I just built up sex with you so much in my head that it became overwhelming. I was terrified of fucking it up after wanting it for so long.”

“Yeah, I’ve been thinking about it from the start too. Six months of sexual tension really mess with your head.”

He chuckles. I like the way his breath hits my skin. “Simon, love, I first fantasised about sleeping with you when we were 15.”

I was already flushed, but now I’m on fire. It’s a miracle I’m not a pile of ash right now. I flap my mouth open and closed like a fish for too long. Baz just smiles at me like I’m beautiful or something, not a total deer in the headlights.

“R-Really?” I finally get out. “That long?!”

“Mhm. I told you, Snow, I figured out I wanted you in fifth year. Puberty was a bloody nightmare with you right across the room.” We laugh quietly together. But I genuinely feel bad for Baz. I hold the back of his head, running my fingers through his soft hair.

“I’m sorry you went through that, love. Must’ve been awful.”

Baz sighs, putting his hand on mine. “Thank you. At least things worked out in the end." He pecks the tips of my fingers. "I’m glad we finally did this. Real life was far better than any fantasy.”

I kiss the corner of his smile. He giggles, so small and adorable, something I never would’ve thought Baz was capable of until six months ago. I’m so happy. And my heart sinks, thinking about how this was almost over because I was so insecure.

“I’m sorry,” I blurt out, and Baz’s face becomes much more serious. “I-I’m sorry that I vanished without telling you. That was immature and dumb. And I’m sorry for scaring you. I promise I won’t ever do that again.”

Baz nods slowly, mouth twisting from side to side. He brings our hands between us, holding me tight. “I accept your apology. Just, what happened, love? I’m still not sure what you meant.”

Well, I knew this was coming. Doesn’t make it any easier. I clutch him hard, like I’m scared he’ll go. But if the last hour or two means anything, I don’t think he will. Still, I hold him tight.

“That’s a long story,” I sigh.

Baz presses his lips to the back of my hand. It’s firm and comforting. “You can tell me. It’s okay.”

I carefully roll onto my back. Baz goes onto his side, propping his head up with his free arm. We keep our hands together. I really can’t let go of him right now.

“I meant it when I said it wasn’t about you,” I say. “It’s really not. I don’t think you’re a terrible person who would dump or cheat on me. It’s more that...that I was scared and felt worthless. Part of me has always felt worthless, unlovable. Sometimes my brain is like ‘your own parents didn’t want you, why would anyone else?’”

“Simon-”

“You don’t need to tell me it’s not true, Baz, I know. Most of me does, anyway. But sometimes that mean voice gets louder, and it’s been louder lately. Not because of you, not really. It’s because I think you’re incredible and brilliant and that mean voice kept telling me ‘why the hell is he with you? He’s way too good for you. He’ll find someone better.’ And after weeks of missed dates and the whole dinner fiasco, it got worse. Then when I saw you with the other doctor I guess the anxiety just took over. And I just sort of shut down.”

Baz moves closer. “I’m sorry, that’s horrible.”

“Thanks.” I sigh and run a hand through my tangled hair, like I’m trying to pull the stress out of myself. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you this. I didn’t want to dump all my shit on you. It’s a lot to deal with and I should deal with it on my own, not pull you in.”

“Simon,” Baz says firmly, holding himself above me, “you can absolutely pull me into your shit. I want to know everything you’re worried and scared about, so I can be there to help if you want. You never have to hide anything because I love every single part of you, no matter how insecure or sad.”

I stare at him for too long. My heartbeat is roaring in my ears. Slowly, a smile stretches out across my face. “You love me?”

Baz’s face pulls together in confusion, and for a moment I’m scared he’s going to take it back, because I’m not worth it. But then I push that fear down because Baz cares about me. He’s shown that again and again. I'm not unworthy of his love.

“Did I not say it?” he says, genuinely surprised and concerned.

“I mean, maybe, but things were a bit...chaotic before.” My eyes flick over to our rumpled clothing strewn across my room. It honestly looks like a tornado somehow hit both a Primark and a Topshop. Baz laughs with a nod.

“Okay, good point. Let me correct that then.” He delicately holds my chin, making sure our eyes meet. Black hair surrounds his face like a dark halo. His deep sea eyes sparkle with his gorgeous smile. Everything about him is absolutely stunning. “I love you, Simon Snow. I’ve been in love with you since we were kids, because you are the most kind, most caring, most wonderful man I’ve ever known. You are not a holding place or my second choice. Got that?”

I nod very vigorously. I can’t speak right now, my throat is too filled up with all my emotions for words. I wipe my snot and tears with the back of my hand. Extremely unsexy. God I’m a mess. But Baz still looks at me like I’m the most gorgeous thing in the world, because he loves me, imperfections and all. 

“Don’t cry, love,” Baz chuckles, “it’s okay.”

“Just overwhelmed,” I say, still sniffling, “and happy. I love you too.”

Baz kisses my forehead.  “I know, and I’m very happy as well.” He tucks his head into the crook of my neck. “Not to get all psychiatrist, but these issues of hidden insecurities and fear we both have are going to reoccur if we don’t communicate more.”

I nod, rubbing the arm he has across my chest. “Yeah, I agree.”

“Good.” He rolls slightly, chin placed on my shoulder. “In the name of communication then, I think not seeing each other for weeks on end isn’t good for us. We need to try to meet in person more.”

“Yeah, definitely. I think not seeing you for a while made my anxiety get worse. Thought you would dump me because it was too hard for us to meet up.”

“Honestly,” Baz sighs, “I felt something similar. Not as badly as you, I think, but still not fun. The self deprecating part of me wondered when you would finally get sick of my insane schedule and break up with me. I’m not exactly the easiest person to date. Or the easiest person, period.”

I laugh quietly and tug him closer. "Me neither, love."

Baz smiles all the way to his ears. He kisses me firmly, making my head spin, before pulling me away just as quickly. Our noses stay pressed together. “Suppose we match then, love.”

I throw my arms around his neck. I’m grinning, I can’t stop grinning. “And you like that?”

“I love it.”

“Me too.” I press against his back, reveling in his warm, smooth skin. “I promise to make more time for you. I want this to work. ”

Baz kisses a mole on my cheek. “So do I. I’m in this for the long haul, Simon.”

“Good, because I’m not letting you go.”

“I would love nothing more.”

I grab Baz’s head and smash our mouths together again. Baz instantly returns it, holding me tight. His body is a warm blanket on top of me, protecting me from anything bad in the world. Yeah, I could spend the rest of my life with Baz. I want that so much. Our snogging gets more intense. And each of us can definitely feel our mutual arousal pressed against our thighs.

Baz pulls off my mouth, but only a little. “What happened to needing to walk tomorrow?”

I shrug with a sly smile. “Eh, who needs walking? You can just carry me everywhere.”

He grins once before kissing me hard. I’m truly a lucky guy. And it’s incredible that Baz thinks the same. I’m living a charmed life.

———————————————

Three months later

“Y’know,” I pant, “you could help.”

Baz looks up from his phone, one eyebrow propped up. “Who carried all your KitchenAid hardware to our new place?”

“Okay, yeah, but that was  down the hall, not up four flights of stairs.” I drop another box of books and breathe heavily.

“That mixer was very heavy.”

“Baz.”

He lets out a very dramatic groan, making a show of hanging his head over the back of Penny’s settee. “Fine. I’ll help.”

I don’t miss the joking glint in his eyes. Arsehole. He just likes making a show of it. He kisses my cheek on the way out. I slap his arse, making him yelp, but his smirk tells me he’s not upset at all.

“Are you two flirting?” Penny calls out from the hall. “I told you, my flat is a flirt free zone!”

“No flirting, Bunce,” Baz says. “Just some light groping on Snow’s part.”

Penny groans so loud I’m pretty sure the whole floor can hear her. She walks in with a box filled with figurines. She glares at me viciously. I throw my hands up in surrender.

“I slapped his arse, didn’t grab it.”

“That’s not much better, Si.” She places the box on the ground and puts her hands on her hips. “Focus more on moving and less on your boyfriend’s arse.”

“Aw, don’t be mad, Pen, I’m sorry.” I wrap her up in a tight hug, and she holds me just as close. She’s been doing that a lot lately. I don’t mind. “Y’know, that offer to fly to Chicago and kick Micah’s arse is still on the table.”

That finally makes her laugh. She shakes her head against my chest. “No, it’s alright. I’m mad but not really vengeful. He tried to break up with me, I just wasn’t listening to him.”

“Still not an excuse to start dating someone else.”

“Yeah, I guess," she sniffles. "Thanks for subletting your flat to me."

I kiss the top of her head. "You're very welcome, Pen. Anything for you."

She holds me tighter. I let her hang on to me. It’s the least I can do.

“After all the fuss you made about me helping,” Baz shouts, “now you’re just standing there, Snow? Really?”

I sigh and look up over Penny’s head. Baz is balancing two large boxes because he likes to show off how strong he is. But he’s being helpful, and his strength is hot, so I don’t mind.

“I am comforting my friend,” I say, tone very high and mighty and mocking.

“Yes, but avoiding work must be a plus.”

“Oh, absolutely. And teasing you.”

Penny laughs and pulls back from me, looking at Baz as he puts down the boxes. “As a psychiatrist, you think it says something that even though you’re together now, you two still bicker like in school?”

Baz tilts his head side to side, stroking his chin like a great scholar. “Probably could say something about regressing to old patterns of behaviour from when we were children. But now after time together, working out our issues, and forming better patterns of behaviour, the bickering is now a show of affection rather than true antagonism. Therefore it has transformed into a healthy relationship feature from a bad one. A rare but possible event.”

Penny blinks at him. I’m trying to hide my blush. Don’t really want Penny to know how hot I find Baz being all smart and shit. Still have no idea what he’s talking about, but now I definitely want to rip his clothes off. Penny would kill me though. Murder would not be sexy.

“God,” she chuckles, “you really are a psychiatrist.”

“Yeah he is!” Shepard stumbles in, a box wobbling precariously on his arms. “Either that or he’s a weirdo who enjoys being in a hospital all the time for some reason.” The box tips over. I run up and catch it just in time. “Oh, whoops, sorry.”

“You break it, you suffer Bunce’s wrath, Shep,” Baz says.

“Damn right you do.” Penny walks past him, leveling a look over her glasses. Shepard gulps and watches her as she goes downstairs. And he follows her to help, looking totally out of it.

A pair of familiar arms wrap around my waist. Baz rests his chin on my shoulder. “In my humble psychiatrist opinion, I think our dear American might have a little crush on Bunce.”

I chuckle, cupping his cheek. “I wouldn’t blame him. Pen is pretty awesome.”

“Oh," he says with a teasing lilt, "should I be worried that she’s living down the hall from us now?”

I scoff and roll my eyes like he does at stupid people on telly. “Should  I be worried about you working with Dr. Lamb?”

Baz makes a very unattractive dry heaving sound. “Never. That backstabbing twat can go eat a bag of rusty screws. Only reason I give him the time of day is because he’s got my supervisor wrapped around his stupid finger.”

“And if you piss him off you’ll lose important psychiatry rounds, yes, yes, I know. He’s still gonna try to flirt with you.”

“Yeah, because he’s a twat. But I only want you.” He kisses a mole on my neck, his favourite one. “I love you, Simon.”

I kiss his temple. “I love you too.”

“I love you  so much I’m willing to give up my lovely condo to move into your weird exposed brick hipster building.”

I scoff and turn to him, arms around his slender neck. “Wasn’t it  your idea to move into a bigger place here because it’s closer to both of our workplaces?”

He smiles, kissing the tip of my nose. Bastard. I hated his teasing in school, but he’s right, now it’s out of love. Crazy, stupid, wonderful love. “Since when do you listen to me?”

“You have a good idea every once in a while.”

“How about this one?” He kisses me firmly. When he pulls back a little, my heart is beating rapidly.

“Yeah, I like that one.”

“Good.” We kiss again, soft and slow. Never before have I felt so safe and content kissing someone. Baz can hold me close and make all my worries go away. Part of me still can’t believe I get to have this. A person who adores me completely, including every single weird, flawed, stupid part too. But I have to stop thinking like that. I’m allowed to be happy. I’m allowed to be with someone so incredible. And someone so incredible can absolutely love me back. The work we've both put in to being together shows our mutual care again and again. We deserve to be happy together. It's amazing.

“Oh for fuck’s sake!” Baz and I pull apart to look at Penny’s glaring face. “We leave you two alone for five minutes and you’re already defiling my apartment?”

“This is still technically Snow’s flat, you know,” Baz says smoothly.

“And you don’t want to know how we’ve already defiled it.” I give the biggest shit eating grin I can.

Penny waves her hands in front of herself. “Nope, nope, I’d rather live in blissful ignorance. Also, Simon," Penny hands me an envelope, "postman came. This is for you. Thought I'd grab it before they accidentally delivered it to me."

I rip it open with ease. Inside is a paper with familiar terrible handwriting. I grin ear to ear. Baz looks over my shoulder. "What is it?"

"It's from Jeremy." I scan down the letter. Luckily I'm adept at deciphering kid writing. "He says he misses me but likes his aunt's place a lot. They garden a lot and he's playing football on a community team.:

"All sound great," Penny says, having moved to the shoulder not occupied by Baz.

"Yeah, definitely. Oh, and he's got a new kitten. And guess what he named him?"

"What?" Penny and Baz say at the same time. It's pretty hilarious but I keep myself from laughing to avoid any glares.

"Snow." I hold up a Polaroid picture of a grinning Jeremy holding a small, fluffy white cat. Both of them can't help but make awing noises.

"Adorable," Baz says. "You did a good job with that kid, Snow."

I kiss his cheek. "Thanks, love."

"I want a cat," Penny sighs. Her nose scrunches up. "Am I going to turn into a crazy cat lady?"

"Hey," I say, "you were the one who told me that was a sexist stereotype. So no, you're going to be a very sane, wonderful, brilliant cat lady." I lean closer, whispering in her ear. "And maybe, once you feel better, you can try talking to a certain American. I think he's got a thing for you."

Penny sticks her tongue out, but before she can respond, Shepard comes stumbling in with a box of china. He places it very carefully. I can see him not so subtly watching Penny out of the corner of his eye. I don't think he wants to piss her off again. “Okay, I think that’s all of it. Wow, a lot of books. Reminds me of my Mom's office back in Omaha.”

"So I remind you of your mum?" Penny asks, arms crossed over her chest. Shepard's eyes go wide. I snort into Baz's shoulder

"No! No, definitely not, I just mean...you're both super smart."

Penny scoffs. "Good answer, American. Now let's get all my books unpacked."

I groan loudly. “Come on, Pen, not today. Why don’t we go to mine and Baz’s flat and we’ll make you dinner?”

“You mean I’ll be making dinner.” Baz raises his eyebrow at me. “You can’t cook, Simon.”

“I’ve been learning!”

He sighs over dramatically. “Very well. You can chop the onions.”

“I’ll take it.” I put my arm on Penny’s shoulders. She leans into me like always. “Come on, let’s eat.”

“Can I come?” Shepard asks, beaming wide. Who could say no to that face?

“Of course! You deserve a reward for all your hard work.”

“Awesome!” He dashes up beside Pen, looking all cute. And I can see Penny smiling, just a little. I’m glad to see her happy.

I put Jeremy's letter in my pocket. It's going right on the fridge the second we get to mine and Baz’s new place. Baz takes my hand in his, weaving our fingers together. He smiles, looking at me from the corner of his eye. I feel like I could fly on the power of love alone right now.

God, I truly have an amazing life.

———————————————

Awwww stupidly in love, just how I like it. Tbh I started writing this before Wayward So came out, and after I decided I wanted to deal with their communication issues like in the book but resolve them. I'm not throwing shade, just stating an opinion, plz don't kill me lol. But I do hope you all liked it! I never planned on writing a sequel but sometimes shit works out like that. I do have another idea for a short one shot but don't hold me to that, life is pretty nuts rn and I don't have a lot of free time, hence why this took me so long. Anyway, have a good day/night y'all!

[seongwhy]

ateez reaction the their crush making the first move

hongjoong

hongjoongie !!! would be so happy !!! that you felt that way about him !!!!

he didnt make a move bc he didnt wanna make u uncomfy :(( so he disregarded his feelings for u

unknowingly to him, u like him back !!!

but since this lucky man didnt get the hint (and with all the touching and attempted flirting you're surprised he didnt)

you decided you had to make the first move

but being all nervous and shi ,, you gotta plan it out

just like hongjoong u dont wanna make him uncomfy !! yall the same mfs

so what u planned to do was grab some takeout and bring it to hongjoong when hes producing an chat him up an shit

and once u get to his place and have him all alone your heart starts racing

and so does his !!

and you're eating and laughing and has showing you a beat he just made

and you put your hand on his leg and hes like big eyes blushing and his mouth drops a lil

and you're like 'this is rlly good hongjoongie' bITHX HES CRYIGN

IM CRYING

and you lean in and kiss him on the corner of his mouth and hes just

'o-oh thank you' he says

and u smile at him and ask him to show you more

he takes a second to recover but blushes even more

and ur ready to kiss him til he stops blushing

so u do

but he doesnt

seonghwa

seonghwa tries his best ok

he just really likes you

so he ends up stuttering and tripping and literally falling for you

like oh one time he was trying to bring you water and he got too excited and was running and some of the water from the full glass fell on the floor and he just slid right on that shit

thank god you had your back turned talking to yunho bc holy shit he didnt know what hed do if u saw that

but the rest of the boys will never let him live that down

'hyung, remember when u fell trying to get water fo-' 'shut up wooyoung'

but seonghwa is just a shy lil boy around you fam

and it's not like you didnt notice bc hed be rlly chill rlly calm and funny when he doesnt know you're around

and then he sees you and hes all 'o-oh hi I'm going to go w-wash the dishes' he cleans when hes stressed

and when u ask the boys what's up w him they're like '..... are u dumb'

anyway after that it was just so obvious

youd catch him staring and make eye contact and hed look away so fast

but you didnt miss dem red ass cheeks

and you honestly like the attention he gives you

and when he gains a little confidence around you and makes a joke or does girl group dances or smth

you cant resist him

so one day you go over to the dorm and tell all the boys that they're all gonna have to leave so that u can get seonghwa to yourself

and they reluctantly agree bc 'but I'm tireddddd'

and when seonghwa gets home hes like . where is everyone.

and you're like 'oh them??? they just went to the store to get snacks I'm sure theyll be back soon come watch this show w me'

and hes like ,,, right

and you're just smiling and nodding and patting the seat next to you

so he sits obviously sweating

and you're watching this show and hes watching you

with every laugh nd movement his stomach coils a lil

and after a bit you look at him

and you're looking at each other

and you're eyes are watching his lips and you just say yolo and go for it

hes taken aback at first but leans into it

and you're a rlly good kisser

then you pull back nd hes looking at you with the prettiest smile on the prettiest face you've ever seen

'thank u' he says 'for what?' 'for that'

'just kiss me again dummy'

yunho

puppy!! lil baby boy!!!

ok so like the first part , let's say you two have been besties for a while now

and it's just a mutual attraction and mutual liking ykno

but yunho doesnt want to mess up the friendship you guys have by trying anything

the members are all 'bruh she likes you back' and hes like 'nuh-uh you're lying'

like.... they told u sis

and one day wooyoung tells you like.. listen sis yunho has a crush on you but he refuses to do anything abt it bc hes worried itll ruin your friendship that I wouldnt even call a friendship bc of all the sexual tension but wtvr

and you slap him across the chest for that last part but

wait,,, yunho has a crush on you ?????

'are u sure ???' 'yes, bITCH ARE U BLIND'

blind w love babyyyyyyyy

this is groundbreaking news bc what the heck your longtime crush and bff likes you back !!!!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

so one day bc you guys are honestly just so comfy around each other and you've been holding back for so long theres no reason to delay this any longer

you walk up to his room where the door is closed and knock on it (u guys have a special knock)

and he opens and you latch onto him and kiss him

tangling your hand in his hair and clutching the shirt hes wearing

and he immediately kisses you back

no hesitation

but then

'guys. I'm still in here. like im happy for u but god just do a quick room check next time will ya' san says walking out of the room shaking his head

you both blush and turn to look at each other

yall laugh then shrug your shoulders and yunho says 'are u sure abt this? I dont want to wreck what we have'

'I'm more excited about what we're gonna have baby' you say, and he smiles, nods and leans in to kiss you again hehehehehe

yeosang

ok dis man loves his chocolate

and you know that so .. you decide to make him sum desserts!! a whole bunch

bc you LIKE HIM

and u want him to LIKE YOU

and the best way to get yeosang to fall for u is by giving him chocolate right

but what you didnt know is that he already likes you (shocker!!!)

so you bake up some brownies and cookies and cupcakes and idek other chocolate tings

and bring them all over to the dorm for him to try

and hes so excited !! 'chocolate!!! for me !!!!'

'yes !! all for u yeosangie'

he just looks as you in awe and love

and picks up a fork ready to take a bite

he stops tho and looks at you and licks his lips

and you blush but laugh

and he puts the food in his mouth and just dies because its SO GOOD

and hes just mouth open eyes wide 'holy shit'

'what?? you dont like it'

'nonononono I LOVE IT'

and he runs around the kitchen counter and hugs you so tight

'thank you!! this is amazing!!' he says looking directly into your eyes

'youre amazing' you say

'what?' he says 'o-oh nothing nothing I didnt say anything'

',,,, you just called me amazing !!! omg YOU JUST CALLED ME AMA-'

hes cut off by you pressing your mouth against his

he pulls away and says 'what was that for?'

'I had to get you to shut up somehow'

yeosang laughs and leans down towards you but gets cut off again!!!! this time with a 'omg are these cookies??????'

',,, get out mingi'

san

bruh yunho looks so funny wtf

sannie is such a happy boy :(

his life goal is making you laugh or smile

he just wants u to be happy!!! and his smile is so contagious!!!

and that's why you fell for him

and now everytime he makes u laugh or smile or smth a lil bit of a blush creeps up your cheeks

san doesnt seem to notice tho but you're ok with that

n e way

yall get along rlly well

hes the reason you're at the dorm every friday night for movie night

and someone chooses a horror movie

its scawwy

and san (tho also scared) sits next to you so he can whisper jokes to u throughout the movie

through hushed giggles and smiles at one another u realize u wanna be in a relationship w this guy

and the next time you're at the dorm, you decided nows the time to make it happen

but when u see san he doesnt seem like himself hes slouched down on the couch cuddling with his stuffed animal staring at the tv screen with nothing playing

when he sees you walk over to him he perks up a lil but not like he usually would

so u sit next to him and ask what's wrong

he fiddles his thumbs and doesnt look at you

so u rub his shoulder and put your other hand on his thigh and ask him again

this time he just looks at you

'I'm sorry' he says

'for what?' 'you're not smiling and it's my fault'

'san!!!! it's ok you dont have to be happy all the time!!!! especially not for me'

his head hangs and he sighs

you lift his head and kiss him slightly

'its ok' you whisper

instead of saying anything back, he leans his forehead to yours

you kiss him again

and again on his lips cheeks forehead nose hands

and by the end of it hes shyly smiling

'there it is!! theres my boy'

he hugs you and for the rest of the day you stay snuggled up on the couch

that day it was up to you make him smile

and you did !!!

mingi

mingo mango

the gif is what he looks like whenever you're near him

hes always whining for you whenever you're not

and when hongjoong sent you a video of mingi doing just that you though it was the funniest thing ever

'I wish y/n was here you're all a bunch of losers' 'you guys suck!!! I miss y/n'

freakin hilarious

this is something u love making fun of him for

liek damn mingi am I that special? I didnt know u liked me that much? u got a crush on me mango?

and u notice that whenever you ask that question, no matter how much of a joke it is, he never gives you an answer

but u dont rlly think about it until you start developing a crush on him

at first it's like,, oh what a baby hes so cute eating the food I made for him

and then it's like wow I wish he would dance on me like dat me too sis

and then u start complaining whenever hes not around 'wheres mingi?? I've been waiting for like an hour' nd 'ykno what would make this even better? mingi'

and everyone is like ok we get it u like mingi

and when mingi catches whiff of this oh boy it's over for you

'so ig it's me that's special now huh?' he tells you one night

'what?' 'u gotta crush on meeeeeee y/n's gotta crush on mingiiii'

and you roll your eyes because . idiot

but then step closer to him and say 'maybe I do'

and that's when his eyes go wide 'wait rlly???' he asks and you can hear the hope in his voice

'all I'm saying is that if you kissed me rn I wouldnt be opposed' is what you say back

and kiss you he does

wooyoung

ok so wooyoungie and u

have such blatant chemistry

yall are constantly flirting and idk yall just click

but u dont notice it

I mean u see the eyebrow wiggles and sly smiles some of the members give u

but all that does is confuse you

one day when wooyoung is in the washroom yunho says 'so you nd wooyoung huh?'

and you're like ...huh

yunhos like 'u dont like him? all yall do is flirt'

and when he says that a whole wall came down in your head

a wall blocking you from accessing emotions of attraction and love and shit you're emotionally scared sis

and you turn firetruck red

yunho just laughs and says 'I knew it'

wooyoung comes back and asks what's going on

'I'll just leave u two alone' yunho says chuckling

you glare at him as he leaves youre gonna get him back for that

but wooyoung doesnt sense anything and swings his arm around your shoulders pulling you into him

and he asks what you wanna do for the night

but you're quiet and distracted with these new feelings you've just found out you have

wooyoung asks if you're okay

and you look up at him but suddenly cant look at him in his eyes. his really pretty eyes

so you turn around and go to grab your stuff bc you 'forgot abt that... thing' you have to do

wooyoung, confused watches you scurry across the room

'uh.. ok.. I'll see you tomorrow?'

'yeah yeah see you' you say not looking at him

you just need to figure your feelings out and then you can see him again

so back home you're racking your brain tryna figure out if theres anything you can do to stop yourself from falling in love w wooyoung

and speak of the devil, u get a call from wooyoung

u contemplate not picking up but decide that wooyoung is still your best friend

'hello?' 'y/n!!! are you ok?? you left really suddenly earlier' 'yeah wooyoung I'm fine dw'

'are you sure? we dont want the prettiest person alive to feel sad now do we?'

you open your mouth to say something back but nothing comes out

'y/n?'

you feel the heat rise to your cheeks as you ask 'are you still free?'

'uh for u? always'

blushing even harder now you say 'I'm coming over' and end the call

once you get there you're knocking on the door frantically

wooyoung opens up with a 'jeez y/n what's the ru-'

you basically jump on him and kiss him hard

you latch your hands onto his shirt nd he wraps his hands around your waist

when you pull away for air, wooyoungs looking at you with a smile on his puffy red lips

you smile back and say 'that was the rush'

wooyoung smiles harder and pulls you back into him

'took you long enough'

jongho

jongho cant believe u two have met

you're one of his favourite new idols

and you met at a show

and you told him how amazing ateez's performance was

blushing, he tells you how much he likes your music

you ask him if hes hungry to which he says yes bc 1) hes always hungry and 2) he cant say no to u ever

so u buy him one of those sandwiches w the jam and the coleslaw or wtvr you know what I'm talking about

and you sit to talk and eat for a while before you have to leave

you ask for his number and tell him you'll call him sometime

and you do

all the time

at first hes shy and boyish which makes you laugh

but after a while he gets comfy and will brag and sing to you and joke

you guys catch each other up on everything

he tells you all about the boys and the boys all about you

and you realise how good a listener this guy is nd how handsome!! and cute

and so at the next show you see him at you walk up to him

and with your heart doing flips and take his hand and tell him to walk around with you

he does and you lead him to a less busy hallway where you just look at him and say 'I like you'

jonghos like... wait. huh. what. wait i- and hes blushing so much even his ears turn red

'me? you like me? bc I like you too and if you're joking or something I would be really sad and I've told the members that I like you and they made fun of me so this would be great of u did like me but if you dont and this is a joke id be really upset' and hes rambling and not looking you in the eye

so you lean in and kiss him

'it's not a joke' you say

'its,, not a joke? are you sure?' 'I'm sure'

'you're sure' 'are you going to keep repeating everything I say? or are u gonna kiss me again?'

jongho, blushing even harder now, chooses the second option

[glitterandmoondustofficial]

Side To Side

Chapter 190: The Dark Forest

Characters: Law, Ruby, Heart Pirates Rating: T Warnings: Language Notes: Time for the next arc *sunglasses emoji*

~~~~~

Ruby hummed nonchalantly as she checked on the health of her tomatoes. She cut one off of it’s vine and rotated it around, making sure it was perfect in every way. She stared at it for a moment before taking a large bite out of it.

“Maybe I should come back another time.”

Ruby looked over to the entrance where she saw Law looking fairly amused. She swallowed the tomato in her mouth and wiped her chin. “I’m testing them.”

“Uh-huh.” He walked over to her and ruffled her hair.

She swatted his hand away. “Why are you interrupting my work?”

“Came to tell you that we’re about to land on an island.” He took the tomato from her hand and placed it on the table. He pulled her in and hugged her tightly.

Ruby rolled her eyes but hugged him back. He was still trying to make up for shouting at her and starting an argument. She was tired of apologies...even though she still may be a little upset with him. After she got over being depressed from being yelled at, she was frustrated. She was frustrated at Law for hurting her and frustrated at herself for being hurt by something as stupid as him snapping at her. She closed her eyes and breathed him in. He better be glad she loved him because if it was a year and a half ago, anyone who would’ve yelled at her would’ve been maimed, or worse.

“I love you,” he told her.

“Love you, too.” She pulled away from him. She picked up her tomato and took another bite of it. “This island we’re going to isn’t that far from the other one we were just on. You sure you want to go to it?”

“Might as well,” he shrugged. “I figured I could take you out to dinner,” he said, a little nervous. He was, of course, smart enough to realize she was still a little upset with him.

“Hmm,” she swallowed the tomato. “I suppose we can go on a date, if you’re really sure that’s what you want to do.”

“Why wouldn’t I be sure?”

“You mean other than the fact you’ve never really liked to go on “real” dates, and the fact that when I hurt my foot you said we couldn’t go on them at all anymore, and Doflamingo is still pretty close to the island so if he catches us together who knows what could happen.”

Law hesitated. “It sounds like you don’t want to."

“Of course I want to.” She said. “I love spending time like that with you, I’m just not sure if that is what you really want, or if you’re just trying to make things less tense between us.”

Law stared at her and pulled away. He closed his eyes and sighed. She wanted to reach out and take his hand to kiss it. She wanted to tell him everything was alright. She took a deep breath and stepped up to him. She reached for his face, and cupped his cheek. She stared into his guilty eyes. She rubbed his cheekbone with her thumb. He opened his mouth and she knew it was another apology so she pressed a finger to his lips.

“I know you’re sorry and that you feel guilty. I know you’re trying to make it up for me. You don’t need to say it. Now, do you really want to go on a date with me, or are you just trying to make me feel better?” Ruby removed her finger from his lips.

Law stared at her for a silent moment, his lips turned into a small frown. He stared into her eyes, his racing thoughts shining through. “You make it sound like I don’t like spending time with you.”

“You don’t like dates,” she shrugged. “It’s not a big deal.”

“It’s not that I don’t like dates…”

“Law,” she gave him a small, tired smile with her eyebrows raised and creased up. “You get uncomfortable, you barely talk, and you almost never order an actual meal, usually sticking with coffee. It’s not hard to figure out.” She turned to her tomatoes and started picking at them.

“It’s not that I don’t like dates,” he repeated. “But with our current life…I don’t want you to get hurt. I need to protect you.”

Ruby’s smile relaxed. “I know.” She took his hand and rubbed it with her thumb. She’d be over this frustration by the end of the day. She knew he was going to beat himself up far more and worse than anything she could do or say. “Let’s get dinner tonight, alright?” She grinned at him sincerely.

Law relaxed and squeezed her hand. He pulled her in and kissed her gently. “Assuming there is civilization on this island.” He said quietly.

“You don’t know?” Ruby pulled away and looked up at him with a raised brow.

“No?”

Ruby rolled her eyes. “You better be glad I like you so much.”

“I am.” He leaned in and kissed her again. Ruby wrapped her arms around his waist, reaching around and shoving her hands into the back pockets of his jeans. He also better be glad that he was such a good kisser. She really did enjoy kissing him. Even back when he was so stiff about it. She felt herself smile as she remembered their first weeks, Law being so stiff and unromantic. He loosened up, though, and became a good lover. In her opinion at least. He pulled away and stared at her curiously. “Why are you grinning?”

“Because you’re cute and I love you.” She leaned up and kissed his nose. “Now get out of here so I can do my work, you’re distracting me.”

Law ruffled her hair again. “Alright.” She swatted his hand away again. “See you when we land.”

Law left quietly and Ruby returned to her tomatoes. She picked and prodded. She made sure the soil had the right pH balance, she made sure they were properly watered, she made sure nothing needed to be reused for compost. She grabbed a crate and started to place the tomatoes in them, perhaps Clione could make pasta with tomato sauce with them.

“We’ve landed,” Law’s monotone voice came out of the intercom system. Ruby took off her gloves and her apron. She picked up her crate of tomatoes and left her greenhouse, walking towards the kitchen to drop them off.

When she safely delivered her precious cargo, she walked towards the deck door. She opened the door, squinting in the bright sunlight. She walked on deck, looking at her crew mates that were already on deck. She walked to the guard rail, placing her hands on the rail and leaning in. She looked at the beach, it seemed relatively untouched. A breeze rolled by and she closed her eyes, her hair softly blowing in the wind. The wind smelled wonderful.

“Ruby!” Someone smacked the back of her head, ruining her romantic image. “Quit spacing and let's go!”

Ruby glared at Ikkaku, rubbing the back of her head. Ikkaku grinned at her and took her hand, dragging her away. Ruby caught sight of Law as he walked onto the deck. He was talking to Bepo quietly. He caught her eye as Ikkaku dragged her off. Ruby waved at him for a moment with a small smile. He gave her a small wave back before returning to his conversation with Bepo.

“Where are you taking me?” Ruby asked as her and Ikkaku walked down the ramp together.

“Well, don’t you need to check if the island is safe?”

“Yeah, I guess. Why are you coming then?”

“To protect you, obviously.”

Ruby snorted. “Alright.”

They walked onto the beach staring off into the forest. “Be careful!” She heard Law shout. She waved and followed Ikkaku into the forest. They made small talk as they walked the island. It wasn’t inhabited. They only saw some forest animals and bugs. They stood in the middle of a clearing, next to a fairy ring.

“I suppose we can just chill on the beach,” Ikkaku said with a shrug.

“Yeah,” Ruby replied. She supposed that Law would be far less nervous now there was nowhere to go on a date. She masked her disappointment well. She had been looking forward to going on a real date. Oh well. Maybe she could convince him to go on a picnic on the beach with her. She was sure he’d do that. Ruby checked her watch. “Oh man, we’ve been at this for like three hours.”

“I didn’t even realize,” Ikkaku chuckled. “Let’s go back. I want to take a shower before we change into our bathing suits.” She took Ruby’s hand and they walked out of the forest. It took around an hour and a half to get back, since they weren’t stopping and looking at things.

“There she is!” Someone yelled and Ruby looked curiously at the Tang. Shachi started running towards her, panicked.

“Hey,” Ruby said as Shachi stopped in front of her, panting. “What’s wrong? What’s going on?”

“It’s Law,” Shachi said and Ruby grew nervous. He didn’t use Law’s name unless it was serious. “We were attacked and, he’s so stupid, Rube. Why doesn’t he ever pay attention? Why does he have to be so overconfident? I swear to god-”

“Shachi, slow down. Explain to me what happened.”

“There’s someone on the island,” he started. “They came under the guise of like, a city mayor or some shit. Anyway, they started to welcome us onto the island. Law wasn’t having it though, you know how prickly he can be. He ignored them, telling them to leave us alone. He didn’t suspect anything, so when they touched him he...he just fell unconscious.”

Ruby frowned and swallowed. “When did this happen?”

“Almost three hours ago. We couldn’t find you and that person disappeared. We have no idea where they went.”

Ruby felt her stomach drop. “Where is he?”

Shachi led her onto the sub and into the hospital. Ruby, Shachi, and Ikkau stared through the examination window. Law was laying in one of the beds, glowing a soft gold color. “He’s been glowing for an hour now. His vitals are fine and it’s like he’s sleeping, but nothing wakes him up. Penguin has been watching him for any sign of, well, anything.”

“This is clearly the work of a Devil Fruit user,” Ruby said and walked into the room. “Again.” This color...it looks vaguely familiar. Why did it look so familiar? Something was there, in the back of her head; at the tip of her tongue; she’s seen this before.

“The amnesia was easier to deal with,” Penguin spoke up. “At least he was conscious and like, normal. This? This is weird. I have no idea what to do with this.”

Ruby sighed. This idiot. He always got onto her for being careless, but look at him! He got hurt too! At least when she got hurt it was physically. Something that could be easily fixed. Not supernatural, magical powers bullshit. She sighed and took his hand, squeezing it.

“Ruby!” Ruby snapped her head in Bepo’s direction. “They’re back!”

Ruby’s eyes narrowed and let go of Law’s hand. “Watch him.” Ruby ordered Penguin before speed walking out of the room. She ran to the deck and looked out. Her stomach froze in fear as she looked at who it was.

“Lillie-Mai,” Ruby growled at her. Everything made sense. The glowing gold covering Law’s body made sense now.

“Iunia,” she greeted her with a sly smile. “It’s been so long.”

“What are you doing here?”

“What am I doing here? This is my island, it’s where I’ve stayed since you ruined Boss’ business.”

“How did you even survive?”

“Do you really have the right to be asking me that, when you yourself are alive?” She scoffed.

“Why did you attack Law? He has nothing to do with you!”

“To hurt you, obviously. You were always pretty stupid.” Ruby glared at her. “You ruined my life. I was comfortable with Boss. He gave me everything I needed. I had a home, and you destroyed it.”

“Good to know you were comfortable while people suffered.”

“That’s rather hypocritical of you isn’t it? You didn’t seem to care about being with the company until you found that warehouse. You fought and killed how many people? And then you have the nerve to say you were traumatized and had a horrible time? You’re not special. Your soul is just as tainted as mine or Boss’. No, I would say you’re worse, because you killed the person who took you in and cared for you for three years.” Ruby clenched her fist and her nostrils flared. “Hmph, you’re not fighting back because you know I’m right.”

“That doesn’t matter,” she snapped. “Undo your bullshit on my captain, if you don’t I will kill you.”

“Nah.” She shrugged. “I’d rather see you suffer. You took away my boss, now I’m taking away yours.” She turned her back to Ruby and started to walk into the forest. “You’re welcome to kill me, if you can of course. The world has heard about your accident, there’s no way you can fight me when you’re as crippled as you are. It would be too easy. Besides, you were never able to stand up against me anyway.” She looked back at Ruby and smirked. She pulled out a piece of folded up paper and dropped it on the ground. “Directions to my place, it’s hard to miss when you find it. Come fight me there if you want your captain to live.” She took a step into the forest and she suddenly disappeared.

Ruby stared in the direction where Lillie-Mai disappeared. Ruby let out a breath and watched Jun run over to the paper on the ground and pick it up. Ruby ran her fingers through her hair and covered her twisted stomach. Why was this happening? Again. Why can’t she shake her past? Why did it have to hurt the person she loved so dearly?

She closed her eyes and took a deep calming breath. There was chaos around her. The crew was running around, Jun was walking up to her and talking to her, Shachi was giving out orders, Ikkaku had her hand on Ruby’s shoulder; Ruby ignored it all. Everything slowed down and the sound was drowned out by her heartbeat.

“Iunia,” Lillie-Mai called. “Boss wants to see you.”

Ruby looked her over, she was wearing a white fur coat and a rather lavish black gown. Ruby wondered if there were diamonds sewn into the fabric. It seemed fitting since Lillie-Mai was Boss’ favorite. “Do you know why?”

“No.” She shook her head. “You better get there fast, who knows what he’s thinking.”

Ruby swallowed and stood up from her bed. She rubbed her skinny arms. She wasn’t good enough for fur coats. She wasn’t good enough for extravagant dresses. She grabbed a thin, brown sweater and wrapped it around her body. “I’ll go.” She passed by Lillie-Mai.

“You need to just accept your life for what it is,” she said. “Things will get worse if you don’t.” Ruby turned to her and stared at her. She swallowed at her warning. “Don’t start thinking you deserve better than what you get, or you’ll get less. There’s no one who will save you and there’s no one who will love you. Submit yourself to Boss, and everything will work itself out.” She rubbed her fur coat. She smirked with her black painted lips, the note of empathy from before completely gone in her eyes. “Or don’t. If he spends less time with you, it’s better for me.”

Ruby turned back around and stepped out of her room. She took a deep breath and straightened her back. No one would save her. No one would love her. She had no friends or family. And there were no angels or devils to help her. She would devote herself to this life, like the good girl she was.

“Thanks.”

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #248

“i was unprepared for fame, then everybody knew my name.”

Are you more positive or a debbie downer? I don't think I'm either, honestly. I'm realistic. How many meals do you eat a day? Since getting a calorie & macro counting app, I try to aim for three, but sometimes I only manage two. I have to be conscious of how I'm spacing out what I eat. If you could have any talent in the world what would it be? Be realistic. Draw exactly what I see in my head. Do you brush your tongue with your tooth brush? Bitch you better brush your goddamn tongue. I didn't know until I saw this as a survey question a while back that there were people who didn't. How many times do you brush your teeth a day honestly? Once. What are you favorite type of jeans? I don't wear jeans anymore, but aesthetically, dark, skinny, torn jeans. Do you pop your bones, crack your knuckles? NO it disgusts me omg. There's this girl who sits in front of me in Women Writers class who cracks her back ALL the time and I have to fight cringing so, so hard. Do you eat your nails? YO NO. I may peel my nails when they get long (to me, anyway) but who the fuck eats their nails. Do you eat the ice in your drink? If it's that good cronchy type, fuck yeah. What do you order at Chic-Fil-A? I used to just get the classic sandwich and fries, but I stopped going there forever ago due to their connection to anti-LGBTQ organizations. By now I can't even stomach the thought of eating something from there. Damn are their sandwiches good, but I'm not giving them business. If you had to go to Mcdonalds what do you order? "Had to" lmao. I have no problem with McDonald's, honestly; you couldn't make me go, because I'd be quite willing. I love their cheeseburgers and, of course, their fries. But because I'm a fatass I have to at least get a double cheeseburger. Have you ever been addicted to cigarettes? No. Which do you use more? Facebook or Instagram? Facebook. Are you a student? If so, what classes will you take next? Yes. "Next," I don't know, considering I haven't chosen classes for next year. Currently I take Painting, Women Writers, Psychology, and Biology. Are you a good kisser? I don't know? How many real bf/gf have you had? Two. Did you enjoy your past relationships? Sure, save for the one with Tyler. That was pointless as shit. Would you ever get back with your ex? Sara, if certain conditions were right. Jason, I honestly don't know and hope I'm never put into the position to need to decide. Other exes, no. Do you like 80’s music? Rock and metal, absolutely. It was a great decade for the genres. Name a comedy that you like. Rush Hour 2 popped to mind first because we mentioned it in school yesterday. Do you like homework? ??????????? WHAT IS THIS QUESTION???????????????? NO??????????????? Something you want to buy real bad? Ugggghhhhh a lot. Being unemployed is a BLAST!!!!!!!!!! Something you would buy a friend as a gift? It depends on the person, of course. I try really hard to give very personal gifts, so what it would be would greatly vary. What is something that would be a good birthday gift for you? Donate Big Bucks to my tattoo fund and I'll give you smooches. Something you would gift yourself? Still tattoos lmfao. Favorite candle scent? Cinnamon rolls mmmmmmmmm. Do you watch beauty videos on YouTube? So here's the tea I genuinely love Jeffree Star and I'm digging NikkieTutorials lately LOOK idk I guess because I find makeup to be an art, I like watching that stuff. My YouTube interests have become seriously diverse lately. Have you ever questioned your sexuality? Ha ha obviously. What is the best thing about life? Man, that's a loaded question. I suppose having people in it that make it worthwhile and a true privilege to simply be here. What do you think will happen when you die? YO, HONESTLY, I don't know, man. I've even questioned reincarnation lately. I 100% believe we are not hollow bodies meant to just decay after death, but creatures with spirits that live on in SOME form or way afterwards. I don't believe in the concept of a "Hell," but I don't really think I accept there being a true "Heaven," either? I think there's just... something. What, I don't know, but guess I'll figure it out at some point. Are you superstitious? No. What kind of surveys do you like the most? Random ones, especially the ones that make you think. Do you go to church? No. Do you like Christian music? No. I get frustrated from just bad memories/associations. Have you ever skateboarded and failed at it? Never really tried. What show/concert have you went to that you didn’t like much? N/A Is sex a must in your life? Nah. Could you wait until marriage for sex? Lol I was the abstinent one years ago, so obviously I could, because I understand it. What do you think about weed? Medically, it's fantastic. Too much evidence of it being so to argue it anymore. For other use, I feel the same way about it as I do cigarettes: bad idea, but whatever. I personally don't care if it's made legal for recreational use or not, so long as it's treated similarly to alcohol, ex. illegal to drive while high. If you found a baby turtle on the side of the road, would you pick it up and keep it? With it being a baby, I'd probably take it to an animal rescue or something. Did you and your mum ever have a big fight that caused you to move out? I stayed at Dad's for a handful of days. Has the last person you kissed ever been to your house? Yes. Does anybody have a tattoo with your name on it? My sister has my initial, anyway. Who did you last see shirtless? My mom. Do you like to make the first move? NONONONONO I'M SHY. Do you think you will ever be married? Probably. If the last person you kissed saw you kissing someone else, would they be mad? I don't think she'd be mad, no. Do you understand football? Nope. Who last called you beautiful? Probably Mom. If you fell pregnant to the last person you kissed, what would you think? We're both female so like- Do you think the body is the most beautiful thing that was ever made? No. Name five things you did today? Stayed at the hospital for my beautiful niece to be born :'), slept far too little after getting home, and that's... kinda it. What kind of phone do you have? It's literally a Tracfone, BUT WAIT! I actually wanted it, ha ha. Mom has one and it is *genuinely* a good phone, so I got one for my birthday. Hell, it's cheaper than paying monthly, so I'm fine with it. When was the last time you talked to one of your siblings? 5 in the morning when we were all still with Ashley. Do you like fire? Sure, I like watching it. Have you ever been to a spa? Noooo, not my jam. Do you know how to do a cartwheel? No. Who’s the funniest drunk person you know? Ehhhhh. When he drank, my dad was either hilarious when drunk or hateful and short-fused as fuck. 50/50 shot. But yeah, if you got Version 1, he'd crack anyone the hell up. Now that he's sober and happy he's always like that. What would you do if your partner still kept pictures of their ex? Well, I'd say it depends on the picture's context. Like, a picture of you two kissing, then I'd be uncomfortable as shit. If you have prom pictures or stuff like that but don't like go looking through them regularly, idc. It was a special event. What if your partner went through your cellphone? BYE, CUNT. What if your partner was flirting with another girl/boy? BYE, CUNT. Is there really a difference between Coke and Pepsi? YES. I can absolutely taste it. Pepsi sucks. Are there any mistakes with your recent ex you wish you could have changed? Stupid and/or impulsive shit I'd said, sure, but for the most part, no. We had a good relationship. Has anyone ever been with you while you were throwing up? My mom always is if she's present. I am terrified of vomiting and even at my age still want her there, even though she can't do anything, obviously. I turn into a baby when I'm about to throw up. Background on your computer? My favorite picture of Teddy. Who has hurt you the most? Jason. Or hell, my own head, idk. Are you happy with where you are relationship-wise now? Sure. What language do you want to learn? I wanna be fluent in German. Who’s the last person that came to your house? A family friend. Is there anyone you would like to fight? God no. I'm not a fighter. Who did you dance with last? Sara. Who is your best friend(s)? Sara. Song playing? "It's A Raid" by Ozzy feat. Post Malone. The album's out T O D A Y , B O Y S. Who is your arch-enemy? I don't have one. What's the most attractive thing on the opposite sex? GODDAMN shoulderBLADES Do you want platinum or gold for your wedding band? Not normal gold, I know. Rose gold is my ideal one, but I really don't care much. Have you ever paid to have your eyebrows waxed? I mean my mom has, seeing as I didn't have an income then, either. Got that done regularly in high school. Not because I asked, but because it was just "normal" since my two sisters did it, too. Do you think that the tobacco companies should pay for people’s medical bills? No, it's not their choice to use the product. Sure, they're making it, but it's really too late to cease production of tobacco. It'd be catastrophic in terms of the job industry. Do you curse in average conversations? Yes; I have to actually make an effort to not curse if needed. Have you ever bought a shot glass? No. Do you have a therapist? Not anymore after my previous one that I loved and trusted gave me every reason to break her jaw. I kind of want another one, but also don't. I'm supposed to, considering my history and that I'm on a lot of medication, but I just do nooooot want to go through the whole trust process again. Do you ever fall for spam mail? No. What color do you wear the most? Black. Do you only eat cough drops because you like the taste? No. Have your parents ever walked in on you having sex? No. Do you like getting stoned? I've never been so and aren't interested in ever getting there. Have you ever gotten a bloody nose from snorting cocaine? YOIKES THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY lol no, I wouldn't touch coke with a ten-foot pole. Red, white, yellow, or pink roses? Pink. What’s the worst name your mom has ever called you? I don't know. She hasn't called me anything too awful that I know of. Have you ever done acid? No. Were you at a rave? Never been, definitely not my scene. Do you post pictures where you look good but your friends look bad? Well, I don't hang out with like... anyone, so, lmao. But I wouldn't. Are you friends with any of your exes? Yes. Would you ever dye your hair pink? ACTUALLY! Pastel pink is on my list. I tested some soft colors out in Photoshop on me and it actually looked really cute. I think I wanna be a smaller size first, though. Do you ever masturbate? I haven't since I came off that godawful birth control that drove me batshit insane in terms of libido. I still don't think it's a bad thing, my interest in that is just, gone. Are you embarrassed about your sex life or lack there of? No. Who’s the last person you said I love you to? My sister. Did you like your life when you were in middle school? Actually fuck middle school with a maul. If you went on American Idol, do you think you’d go through to Hollywood? Nope. Have you ever received an anonymous gift? No, I don't think so. What kind of laugh do you have? A loud and obnoxious one. Do you hoard anything? "Hoard" isn't the right word, no. Are you afraid of flying? I am, but I feel it's only a realistic apprehension. Especially going back and forth to Sara's a few times, you kinda have to get used to it. Most recent Facebook ‘like’? Shit man idk, I "like" a load of stuff. Have you ever camped out somewhere for an event the next day? No. Do you do anything regularly that could damage your body? Can someone please eliminate soda from the face of the earth???? What do you love most in the world? Those closest to me. What woke you up this morning? Ugh, the sun. I need to put my curtain back up after Roman tore it down. Who was the last person you rode in a car with? My mom. Is anything bothering you? There's always *something* bothering me to some degree, but nothing seriously at the moment. Are you in a good mood? My niece was born overnight and is gorgeous and healthy so I have to be. :') When were you the saddest in your life? 2016. Do you own more than one cell phone? Ha ha, I have two old ones. One I used for pictures because the camera was good, and the most recent old one, I just need to get some pictures and contacts from... but I'm lazy. Have you ever had a song written about you? No. What songs make you happy? Depends on what I'm feeling. Next concert? No clue now that Ozzy had to cancel his, bless his old heart. As a child, did you ever get the chance to go to Disney World/Disneyland? Yes. When was the last time you fought with your significant other, if any? I’m single. Do you know anyone, personally, who is in an abusive relationship? Are you? No, thankfully. When was the last time you were on a boat? Where did you travel on it? Not since I went fishing with my old best friend a few years back. We were just in a pond. Are you planning on going anywhere with someone, some time today? Probably not. Do you like cereal? What would you consider your favorite kind of cereal? Hell yeah. Cinnamon Toast Crunch is *maybe* my favorite? Idk, I like a lot. Are there any people you don’t like for your significant other/crush to talk to? This doesn't apply to me, but even if I had one, they're not my damn child. I'm not gonna police whom they talk to. I mean I guess there are exceptions, like, talking to a drug dealer to name one, but talking to most people, that's their business. Just don't hide it from me. Have you ever forgotten your birthday? Did you soon figure it out? No. What color are the curtains in your room if you have any at the moment? Maroon. Is there anyone you are currently trying to get out of trouble? Why? No. Have you ever wanted your significant other to get rid of a friend? Well, calling back to that other question, there was one in a previous relationship that I really couldn't stand, but it wound up working out. If you have siblings, have they moved out or do they still live with you? It's just me and Ma now. Do you ever go to Blockbuster? How frequently would you say you go? WHAT A CALLBACK!!!!! Omg did I love BB. Went like every weekend to rent a game, and sometimes we'd go there Fridays before a sleepover to grab a movie. Do you ever listen to music so you can actually change your emotion? Sure, sometimes.

[missnxthingg]

can you make an imagien where the reader meets tom hollnad but she is also an actress and tom falls instantly in love with her but she only see to as a friend.

AN: I tried to do it as good as possible, sorry if it’s a complete trash. Anyway, thank you for sending your request, hope you like it! Also, I’m gonna vanish from tumblr until I see FFH, because I bought tickets to see it on Monday and there’s still some days left to go. I’m trying to go without any spoilers just like I did with Endgame.

Words: 1.7K

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Warnings: Angst, a little bit of cuteness, kissing and swearing. Also not my gif!

It was first day of work. You’ve never worked in such a big production like this. You were new at this acting thing, and doing a Marvel movie, specially one that you are one of the main characters was huge for you. So that was the first day you were going to meet everyone in the cast and crew, and you were very. So Jon, the director, introduced you to everyone. So you met, Jacob, Zendaya, Marissa, and so on. But there’s someone missing.

“Oh and finally, the start of the show. Thomas, come here.” Jon said, referring to the boy having a snack. He turned around and swallowed whatever it was on his mouth. “I want you to meet the girl for that love interest Spider Man is going to have. This is Y/N Y/L/N.”

“Oh great, I’m Tom, nice to meet you.” You reached for his hand and he smiled.

“Nice to meet you too, I’m Y/N.” He kept staring for a while, and that made you blush. He’s cute, and having a cute guy looking at you can make you easily blush.

“You’re going to spend a lot of time together, so you better get along.”

“Oh, we will.” Tom said and smiled at you again. Something was telling you it was going to be a different kind of friendship. “Come on, let me show you around.” 

(…)

“Cut!” Jon said, and a bell rang, saying it’s finally over, and you thanked God it was over. “What’s the matter with you, Y/N? Can’t you just kiss Tom?”

“I can’t, his face makes me wanna start laughing and I never get to do the scene.” You said, getting away from Tom and reaching for your bottle of water.

“You better be ready to kiss him tomorrow, and no laughing. We can’t keep avoiding it, when have a deadline to deliver this movie.”

“Okay, sorry. We’ll do it tomorrow.” You said, raising your hands and turning around to go to your dressing room.

“Alright everyone, see you all tomorrow, same time.” Jon said and everyone started to organize all of the stuff around the set. 

You finally got to your dressing room, and lied down on the sofa and closed your eyes for a bit. It was the third time you messed this scene up, but there was nothing you could do, because kissing the person you got so close to during this shooting was so hardy. Tom became one of your best friends and it’s weird to kiss your best friend.

“Hey, do you want a ride home?” Tom said, getting his head into the dressing room.

“I’ll take a taxi. Go home, love.”

“Actually, I asked you if you wanted a ride just for an excuse to crash at your place.” He smiled and you laughed.

“Okay, but you’re gonna pay something for us to eat.” You pointed at him and got up to get yourself out of your suit. “Just wait for me to take off my pretty ordinary outfit.”

“Alright love, I’ll wait for you at my room, I have to call my mom anyway, or she’ll kill me.”

“Go ahead, momma’s boy.” He smiled again and left.

You got into your sweat pants, jumper and flip floss. All the makeup was removed from your face and your were ready to go home. So you took your backpack and got to Tom’s room, and he was finishing the call with his mom. You hugged him from behind and closed your eyes. You were so tired you could just sleep like that.

“Ready?” He asked and you just nodded in response and he turned around and hugged you properly. “Come on darling, I know you’re tired but we need to go home.”

“I could sleep just like this.”

“Maybe in your own bed. Come on, let’s go.” He held her backpack with one hand, and the other held her hand.

They said goodbye to everyone and got to the car. The ride was supposed to be quick, if you didn’t ask for a McDonald’s burger. He pulled into the drive through to order your food, but the line was very big. You were talking about today on set and laughing a lot.

“I know I have a funny face, but don’t laugh at me, it makes me really sad.”

“I’m sorry, love. It’s just… You’re my best friend and kissing you is weird as fuck.” He stopped laughing and kept going with the car.

“Yeah… Best friend. But you know, you’ll have to kiss me tomorrow, anyway. You better be ready for Tomnado.”

“You’re an idiot.” You said.

Once you finally got the order, you drove home as quick as possible. You were both tired and all you wanted to do was throw yourselves at the sofa and watch something funny. As so you did, you had your dinner at the sofa, watching something funny on TV, under the blankets. Once you were both finished, Tom took the dishes to the kitchen, and came back to lie on the sofa with you, but you were already getting up to bed.

“Oh, you’re going to bed. I’ll just sleep here…”

“Don’t be an idiot. You’re not going to sleep at the living room. Come on, I have a warm bed waiting.”

You turned around and he smiled thinking “Fuck, I love her so much”. He followed you and found you already on you PJs, sitting on the sink, brushing your teeth. He approached only to find a toothbrush waiting for him right there. He smiled at you and started to brush his teeth as well. Once you were done, you left for your bed, and got under the covers, waiting for Tom. He came around and lied next to your. Your arms involved him into a comfortable hug, him lying on your chest, your head resting on top of his, and the complete silence around the room. Tom prayed that you couldn’t listen to how hard his heart was beating out of his chest, but was kind of disappointed for not being able to hear anything coming out of yours.

“Tom.” You whispered and he nodded in response. “Are you asleep?”

“No, what is it love?” He said looking at you.

“Don’t take this the wrong way.” You said and he stared at your E/C eyes. “But kiss me.”

He was impressed, now heart beating faster than before. He got on top of you, hands on your nape and soon he was close enough. He brushed your lips together and finally kissed you. It was just like he always imagined, sweet and really slow. He took advantage of every bit of it, doing it as slowly as possible, but everything had to come to an end sometime.

“You’re a really great kisser, Thomas.” She said and he left another kiss on her lips. “This way I won’t be so nervous tomorrow, thank you buddy.”

Buddy. Those words cut through the air like sharpened knives right into his chest. He lied down, not facing her, pretty disappointed on what she just said. But she came to do the bigger spoon role, and as much as he didn’t want to, his heart started to beat as faster as before.

“Aren’t you gonna give me a good night kiss?” She said, waiting for his response. “Come on, my forehead is waiting.

“Good night, Y/N.” He said, not turning around. He could feel her hands loose around him, and she turned around, and they slept back to back, very far away from each other,

“Good night, Tom.”

(…)

“I really wanna kiss you right now.” Tom said using his best american accent, with his mask only showing his mouth and part of his nose. You were now doing that scene you kept delaying so much, but there was no escape this time, even though you didn’t wanna do it, specially after last night’s event.

“So kiss me.” She said and he leaned to kiss you one more time, just like he did last night.

“Aaaaaand, cut!” Jon said and the bell rang again. “Perfect! How did you too got to do it so perfectly the first time?”

“So we could not do it a second one.” He said and left, keeping Jon impressed behind.

“What happened with him?” He asked and you gave him the shoulders.

“I don’t know, he’s not talking to me since last night.”

“Go solve it, you’re really good friends for this kind of thing. 15 minutes everyone!” He said, giving you time to run after Tom, who locked himself into his dressing room. You didn’t even knock and just got in already talking.

“Okay Thomas, you’re gonna tell me what’s wrong right now or…” You looked at his, sitting in front of the mirror, crying his heart out. “Are you crying?”

“Please, Y/N, go away!” He said, trying to cover his face with his hands.

“What happened?” She closed the door behind her.

“Go away!”

“No, I’m not going. My best friend’s crying and I’m not leaving him like this.” You tried to approach, but he pushed you back. “Don’t fucking do this to me Thomas. Why are you acting like this?”

“Because I’m in love with you, idiot.” He said, turning to face you. You felt like you had something stuck on your throat. “And I know you don’t love me this way, and that hurts me so much. I just wanna be alone, please.”

“I’m so sorry Tom. I really am. But even though I don’t feel the same way, I’m not leaving.”

“Please don’t do this to me.” He said and you held his face in between your hands, cleaning some tears falling. “Everytime I look at you, I feel like I’m gonna explode. Sometimes with love, sometimes with pain. But now it just hurts.”

“I’m sorry.” He got up and cleaned his tears.

“Sorry, I don’t think we can be friends anymore. Not for a while, I guess.” He left the room, leaving you behind with your heart aching so much.

“Fuck…” You whispered, letting your tears finally fall down from your face. You knew in that moment you had lost your best friend.

[sighingsiren-tales]

ZODIAC MEN

So, I haven’t really said it much here but I have been healing from something terrible and this was my way of healing. I love astrology and this is something that I may start permanently in addition to the fan fiction I write here. I hope you enjoy it~Kae

*Note, this is from the perspective of a Leo Sun, Aquarius Moon, Leo Mercury, Virgo Venus and Rising and Scorpio Mars. (I’m a female) 

ARIES

❌My middle school boyfriend. Ha, you still hit me up and tell me i look cute and how we’re gonna have kids from time to time, maybe even flirt with me here and there. can’t say i don’t like it the attention but that ship sailed long ago. Funny, a definite goofball, popular after his insecurity phase was over. 

❌one of the first guys i fucked in college. lol you were fun, fun as hell. you were always easy going, funny and matched my energy relatively well but you were most definitely a fuckboy (sorry) you just liked pussy and women too much for us to ever work, assuming you even wanted us to work. You still tried to hit on me when i had a boyfriend (who was your roommate) and when you had a girlfriend. Bold as hell and he was h u g e.

❌ah, one of the few of your kind that I actually like on campus. loud personality but actually very timid. always asks me how to seduce people and tells me that I get what i want relatively easy. a ball of insecurities and emotion. learn your value king and get over that. 

TAURUS

❌over emotional man child lmao sorry. you want someone to be your mother and hold your hand and i can honestly say no one has hurt me like you have. too self absorbed, needs reassurance, can’t be himself. drinks and smokes too much. navy dude.

❌one of my self proclaimed brothers. he’s a bit of a hard ass and a commitmentphobe but he has a big heart and truly acts like a second dad haha. i love him as a friend. caring, soft, funny, protective asf (especially of me), won’t let me walk back to my dorm alone. 

❌my little brother. a pain in my ass. acts tough and hard, uses a lot of slang. needs attention and reassurance often. loves hard but can be annoying. told me he cared about me when i ran away. needs a healthier way to show his emotions. we butt heads a lot as kids. stubborn as hell. love you though kid 

❌ahh, this one (he’s a cusp kid, 4/20 hehe blaze it). honestly a super hero. so caring and sweet but also kinky and your handprint is kinda still on my ass. i had a crush on you before you did. honest, respectful, loveeessssss his mom, has a lot of female friends (which makes me a bit jealous). anime buddy. patient, protective, a bit of a temper (it’s kinda hot), the best kind of man. can get me to open up but strengthen me at the same time?? my superman, the only man i don’t mind being vulnerable to. reminds me of an anime character. a warrior with a heart of g

GEMINI

 ❌fun while it lasted and i’m pretty sure i was your flavor of the month and you were mine as well. you were funny, and meshed with my energy well. didn’t last long in bed tho😬 your laugh was contagious. really good dancer. can’t hold a relationship for your LIFE. not good with emotions, a free spirit. kinda wishy washy. didn’t like it when i avoided hanging out. 

❌quiet, had an intimidating presence. everyone thought you were scary but you were funny, logical and very headstrong. strong silent type. always opened up with me but no one else. has a “lone wolf mentality” strongest man i know. made me happy with who i am, gave the best advice. unmovable, easy going. the one i stay with at all family functions. a big chunk of my heart. love you big bro.

CANCER

 ❌absolute trash lmao. always attracted drama and stuck his nose where it didn’t belong. ultimate instigator. i think you just need a diary and a xanax. everyone said you tried to break up me and my (then) boyfriend?? cute but annoying. an acquired taste (and that’s me being nice)

❌my little baby brother. the sweetest thing upon planet earth. always asks me if i’m okay, comes to me when he’s sad and cried when i told him i was leaving for college. tells me he loves my hair and nails and always protects his big sis. always excited to see me. so smart, a damn genius actually. amazing with technology. i love you so much little man.

LEO

 ❌ahh my first love. so caring, tender, sweet but had too many scars and wounds for us to heal together. we made so many mistakes with one another but you were always trying to be my own personal naruto and, for a while, you were. and for those few months you were my everything. kept me going when i wanted to die. kissed my scars all the time. always bought me food. loved to spoil me. had a temper and hid his emotions. put everyone before himself too much. things ended bad and our egos clashed. i hurt you. i’m sorry. the last words we said to each other were good bye and i love you. 

❌someone at college who wants to fuck me lmao. always hugs me really tight, stares me down in a way where i know he’s undressing me mentally. says love is bullshit but wants a happy ending and i know it. also also, you’re not fucking me lmao.

VIRGO

 ❌my summertime coworker. a party animal, mentally resilient and smart as all hell. we fooled around once lmao but it never got far. funny as fuck. never spoke about what he had going on but i know he was hurting. a perfectionist, a scammer. 

❌sweet in a weird kinda of way. always asks if i’m okay. always asks if i need something, always willing to help. trusts me to make my own decisions and encourages me to think for myself and watch my back. hard working, quiet with bit of a hardshell. never lets anything dictate who he is. love you uncle. 

LIBRA

❌my distant friends ex; wishy washy. not very good with commitment. really cute room and good fashion sense. pretty lips; respectful and honest fuck boy. made a move on me once after a party once. pops in and out of my life. 

❌invited me to a gala once. loved the attention of having me on my arm. hated my ex. smoked weed a lot, easy going and soft spoken. never got angry, went along with anything. probably in jail or in some legal trouble right now.

SCORPIO

❌you wanna fuck me. lol i know you do and you’ve made it clear as the only thing you want me for. came up to my room and tried to barge in after i told you not to. kinda creepy. quiet. doesn’t say much. always seemingly where i am. in my same major, soooo tall, soft spoke voice. 

❌oh boy. obsessive. possessive, jealous. we were good friends. then you fell in love with me. i didn’t think of you that way. you told me it was okay and then began to blow up my phone with messages, text my friends to ask where i was and blow up on me when i said we needed space and cursed me out. safe to say we don’t talk anymore. when i blocked you, you emailed me an apology and asked my friend to tell me you’re sorry and give me your letter. overthinks a lot. always needs to be in the know and/or control. consuming. reallll timid and unconfident. weed addict. total beta male.

❌you’re sexy. i’ll give you that. and you’re smart. you pop and out of my life. easy going. sweet. quiet, distant and a little annoying with your wishy washyness. i took your virginity 😬 lmao yikes. always around a group of females. nice hair, always played in mine. really funny and the times where you matched my energy it was magic. 

SAGITTARIUS

❌lol uh i knew you in high school. went to harvard. super super attractive, very competitive and very funny. had a pretty chill vibe. i wanted to kiss you. had perfect teeth, the valedictorian of the class before me. 

❌a hardass, lol. sees things like they’re black and white. has a funny side, hilariousssss but in a mean kind of way. doesn’t show much emotions but you know he cares. blunt. caring in his own way. took me to get my first tattoo. affectionate in a awkward pat back type of way. when he sees me sad, he helps best he can although that’s not always in the best of ways. helped me get through my grammy’s death. my dad. 

CAPRICORN

 ❌ah the fwb that turned into my boyfriend. we should’ve never happened. i care for you but a relationship was a bad idea. we started based off sex. was fucking a lot of girls when when with me (9 of them lmao yikes 😬) aloof, funny, dorky, another anime buddy. thinks he knows everything, thinks he’s a god (literally), an emotional baby when it comes down to it. made me his reason and told me he loved me. i regret telling you i loved you too. gas s god complex and wants things to come to him with minimal effort. 

❌ahh, you always had a thing for me. you and everyone else told me. held my umbrella for me while we walked in the rain. told me i was perfect, always promised that you’d marry me. pop in my life from time to time. down with anything. 

AQUARIUS

❌ ahhh the forbidden fruit. distant, friendly, charming, a liar. very sexual, always complimented me and once told me he loved me(yikes). really cute, made me feel special, has been trying to get me for yrs. not sure if it’s just sex or if it’s more but not giving myself the chance to be hurt and find out. sometimes i wonder what we could’ve been but the drama attached to your back makes me think otherwise. i still think of you from time to time. great kisser. 

PISCES 

❌my self proclaimed older brother. really knowledgeable, wise, sweet, loves his girlfriend with all his heart. encourages me to open up. supports me the best way i need, not always want lol. funny, a meme lord, hilarious in a subtle way. knows he’s that bitch. has almost all female friends but still retains his masculinity perfectly stronger than he lets on. an absolute blessing. helped me learn to love who i was and to be open to living others.

❌a wanna be gangster. lmao wants to fuck me but not happening. a big ball of unsorted through emotions. needs to get over his toxic masculinity but soft, caring. a big ass baby. unfaithful and childish. needs to learn his self worth within himself. daddy issues.

[hauntedbubblewriter]

Drabble Challenge: 1-150

Rules: Simply send me the number u want me to do (You can use more than one but please don't over do it) and tell me which member you want me to write for.

“The skirt is supposed to be this short.”

“How long have you been standing there?”

“I may be an idiot, but I’m not stupid.”

“Who gave you that black eye?”

“You haven’t even touched your food. What’s going on?”

“I just like proving you wrong.”

"How about we just don't go outside"

“Everyone keeps telling me you’re the bad guy.”

“Forget it. You fucking suck.”

“Quit it or I’ll bite.”

“If you use up all the hot water again, I swear to god! You’re on the couch for a month!!”

“If I die, I’m going to haunt your ass.”

“Looks like we’re gonna be stuck here for a while.”

“Take. It. Off.”

“Well, you’re coming home with me whether you like it or not.”

“I’ll kick his ass if you want me to.”

“Stop it! It tickles!”

“It’s okay to cry…”

"All I want is ice cream and cuddles"

“And that’s how you ruin a life. Congratulations.”

“D..did you just make that noise?”

“He’s a bad kisser.”

“You can scream if you want.”

“I didn’t know we were keeping track.”

“We’re playing checkers. If you don’t like it, leave.”

"You won't die, it will just be horribly painful"

“One of them’s missing.”

“Save some for me.”

"Oh, fuck off.”

“You’re still mad?”

“Come over here and make me.”

“You better watch yourself.”

“Eat your lunch and you wouldn’t be hungry.”

“Call on Line 1”

“He creeped me out. I’m not gonna lie.”

“I’m done! You can fix it!”

“Can we just watch a movie and fall asleep on the couch?”

"If I sell my Kidney, I could totally afford it"

“Where did he go?”

“You leave whenever you feel like it."

“Don’t apologize if you don’t mean it.”

“You’re going out dressed like that?”

“For the hundredth time, I’m not your babysitter.”  

“Frost the damn cupcakes.”

“Well that’s the second biggest news I’ve heard all day.”

“You look pretty hot in plaid.”  

“I thought you were dead!”

"Maybe the sexy dance was too much"

“We’ve become the clingy couple that you used to complain about.”

“Quit touching me. Your hands are cold.”

“You know you want it, sweetheart.”

“I’m your husband. It’s my job.”  

“You just wanted them because the light up.”

“That wasn’t very subtle.”

“He thinks he’s a mind reader.”  

“It’s just you and me tonight. I was thinking we could have a little fun.”

“I don’t do hugs.”

“Don’t talk anymore.”

“How do I even put up with you?”

“I said get rid of it.”

"Will I get paid for it"

“They didn’t just find out. They already knew!”

"You’re not as quiet as you think you are.”

“Just don’t buy a goat. I don’t care what you do, just no goats.”

“I have a secret.”

“I won’t let you get hurt.”

“You’re strong, baby. You have to be.”

“He’s four years old!!”

“I’ve had enough! I want to be alone!”

“I can’t stand seeing you like this.”

“Me and the boys will handle it.”

“You’re competitive and so am I, and it’s going to lead to a fight.”

“Is there a reason you’re naked in my bed?"

“Mind if I join you?”

“Daddy!"

“That’s my shirt. So is that..wait?”

“My name isn’t Leslie…who’s Leslie?”

“There’s a surprise upstairs for you.”

"You can't just buy a puppy out of impulse"

“I’ll take care of it.”

“I’m not your boss? Well then who is?”

“You can’t eat solids, only liquids until Thursday.”

“Come on, baby, up to bed.”

“They got you a present. Isn’t it sweet?”

“Am I scaring you?”

“Run! You said you’d work out with me!”

“After everything…I’d still choose you.”

“And when did you plan on telling me about this?”

“Trust me.”

“Scoot over a little bit, please.”

“You’re so clingy, I love it.”

“You didn’t just wake me up at 2am because you were ‘in the mood’.”

“Did they hurt you?”

“You’re cute when you’re all worried.”

“Stop being grumpy. It’s lame.”

“I don’t need a hero, I need a husband.”

“Don’t shut me out.”

“You got a cute butt.”

“I just got out of the shower, I can’t dance. What if my towel falls off?”

“Don’t be an asshole. Asshole.”

“Do you really think I could ever replace you?"

“Sharing is caring. Now give me your fries.”

“…or we can chill in our underwear.”

“You can’t make up for it by giving me a tic-tac.”

“You, me, popcorn, two liter Dr. Pepper, and a movie. You in?”

“Have you seen my contacts?”

“Life is a highway, and I’m always drunk. So I’m not driving.”

“You can’t just hug me and think everything’s okay.”

“Is he coming home?”

"I prefer blondes.”

“No more dogs. How hard it it to understand?”

“I let you win.”

“I broke your nose, and I’m sorry for that. But what you’re doing isn’t fair.”

“Can I do your hair?”

“Your favorite superhero can’t be a villain.”

“I told you not to jump on the bed!”

“Ready or not, here I come.”

“I’m worried about losing my job!”

“Oh, did I scare you, big boy?”

“Happy new year!”

“Quit moving, I’m trying to sleep. Wait…are you…what?!”

“You nap, I’ll stay awake.”

“It’s turbulence. It’s normal.”

“Don’t touch me. We’re fighting.”

"Of course you have to pay for breathing the same air as me"

“I’ll give you a massage.”

“You fell asleep in the tub?!”

“Are you doodling?”

“We’re not playing strip poker. I don’t care what I said when I was drunk.”

“Slushies aren’t just for kids, fuck society.”

“Are you scared…Then why won’t you look at the screen?”

“Enough with the pillow talk, I’m tired.”

“You had a nightmare, tell me what it was about so I can fix it.”

“We need groceries, not just junk food. You’re the worst.”

“Is this our closet? Or your closet?”

“If I win, you do dishes for a week.”

“Fist bumps are cooler than high-fives…”

“Use your words."

“Hold my hand so he gets jealous.”

"Ew, your hand is sweaty.”

“Get out of my face before I hit you.”

“Look! Fireflies!”

“Why do you only kiss me when I’m sleeping?”

"I just need ten minutes.”

"Do you wanna die?"

"If you're here who was the person in our bedroom"

"Who needs sleep If you have depression and coffee"

"Just let me help you"

"I could also lie to you if that would make you feel better."

*Make Your Own*