#i actually wanna go to sleep hut im waiting for one of my friends to be anck at his home

[hum-suffer]

My grandfather knows that I love popping the bubblewrap so whenever he orders his meds he always keeps the bubblewrap aside for me. Abhi, I was glaring at him because he wasn't listening and he's like meko dhamki de rahi hai?? Jaa ab pura ye bubble wala main phod dunga

[a-table-of-fics]

Oddworld: Conar's Ambition, Chapter 4, Draft 1

In the meantime, he puffed on his Lungbuster some more, thinking about what they could do next. Once they were all in the scrapyard, and found a secure spot, that’d be a good time to see about that map Mark probably had. From there, he could hopefully find out where Zeb’s offices were, and from there he and Slim could take him down, and Conar could finally have a fortune of his own.

His happy daydreams were interrupted when he heard another vehicle come rumbling down the road, and the sound of screeching metal against concrete. He leaned to look past the wall, and he had to cover his earholes as he saw an ugly yellow truck coming to the garage, sparks flying behind it as it carelessly dragged an enormous three-pronged hook behind it on a thick metal cable. He leapt back, afraid the tow cable might swing his way and obliterate him. Thankfully, it was nowhere close, and the truck was slowing to turn into the parking space anyway.

A Slig wearing a work vest came out, putting a well-worn yellow cap onto his head. He slammed a fist on the bed of the truck, and three Scrubs sat up groaning, and climbed out of the back.

Conar turned to the sleeping Mudokons, and was quick to tap them both with his Blunderbuss. They stirred, slowly standing back up. Just in time, too; the Slig had looked their way. He nodded before walking over to the passenger side. The door opened, and Conar heard the tell-tale sound of a Glukkon’s cheap dress shoes rapidly clattering. He was smoking an even cheaper cigar, and oil-stained suspenders over a hideously yellow plaid shirt. He sneered as he looked over at Conar and the Mudokons under his care, but his face softened as he saw the cab they came in with.

He hummed, running a few mental tallies.

“Quite a wreck,” he finally said. “Almost wish I’d seen the accident!”

He laughed, and if there was one thing any Slig learned quickly, it’s that a Glukkon’s laughter is contagious… or else. The Mudokons had no such obligation; while Slim and Mark were trying to keep their heads down, the three Scrubs in yellow loincloths just unloaded the truck of its six toolboxes. They politely waited by the door, struggling to stand up under the weight they were carrying.

“I take it you’re Clunk?” Conar asked.

“You ain’t as stupid as you look,” the Gluk snorted. “Why do ya ask?”

“Your guard over there says we need a ticket from you to get this scrap into the yard.”

Clunk turned around, seeing a wide-awake Slig waving his way from his booth, his magazine hidden from view.

“He’s right, you will need one. We gotta make sure we can’t fix it first.”

Meanwhile, his assistant Slig was watching the overly encumbered Mudokons. He was taking great pleasure in slowly opening the doors, at a couple of points even “accidentally” letting the doors fall a little, chuckling as the Scrubs groaned. Finally, he let them in, and they were able to set their equipment on the workbench.

“Right,” Conar nodded. “So when can we get started, sir? I’m already running late…”

“250 Moolah,” the Glukkon replied, simply. “We also gotta get your name and everything for our records. If we start going a little late, maybe I can let your boss now. Who knows?”

He leaned forward, enough to breathe smoke into Conar’s face.

“He might be feeling lenient and just dock your pay.”

He chuckled to himself, while Conar reached into his bag. Having only around 1400 Moolah to his name, this was quite a bit, but what choice did he have?

The other Slig happily accepted his payment, and turned towards his workforce.

“All right, get ‘er in so we can take a look!”

Conar and company watched as the cab was taken in, and followed when Clunk beckoned them in. They were directed to a lobby that had two very greasy chairs in it, as well as half another chair that was haphazardly lying against the wall. Clunk moved behind the front desk, where his assistant was waiting.

“So, you got an ID, ‘valued’ customer?”

“39872-A,” Conar said, automatically.

“Right. Place of employment?”

“Slog Hut 1884.”

“Quite a ways from here. What happened?”

“Got caught in some crossfire around home, sir.”

Clunk nodded.

“Right, we’ll see what we can do. You have a seat.”

Conar nodded, keeping the seat on his Pants rather than anything he could actually feel. The Mudokons, after one glare from the owner, shared the half-seat, keeping their feet splayed so they didn’t tip it over.

Clunk chuckled at the sight, and so Conar did too.

“Which of these chumps was the driver?”

Mark shrunk a bit, knowing what was going to come next, but before anyone else, Slim piped up.

“I was driving, sir.”

Mark was about to say something, but Slim’s elbow made a point against that. Clunk looked, and nodded.

“Brave Mud to admit that,” he said, turning back to Conar. “Make sure to get his license. Should have a number you can call on this phone here. They’ll take care of ‘im for losing company property, I hope.”

With that, he waddled over through the doorway, to the noises of metal clanging and tools hissing and whirring.

As soon as he was gone, Slim looked at the shaken Mark, then turned to Conar.

“Can you… can you pretend to call?”

“You ain’t tellin’ me what to do!” Conar replied. “I gotta call, that’s what he said…”

Slim’s look said it all, but he added “You want everyone to know where we are?”

“…Yeah, why don’t I just… not call, then?”

“Clunk’s probably gonna pop in at any moment. You really want to blow your cover here?”

Conar thought about it for a moment, then nodded. He’d have to ask about how Slim knew about this kind of thing later, but for now, he had a “call” to make to the taxi company. He stood up, holding a hand out expectantly. Mark looked at it for a moment, then sighed and produced a card from a pouch on his loincloth.

Conar snatched it and took a look. So he was supposed to call the Durtminch Taxi Service, but he punched random keys on the phone in rapid succession. He got a busy signal, but he pressed on.

“Yeah, hi… I wanted to report a Mud who drove through a gunfight…Yeah…We’re at Clunk’s… His name’s Mark…”

Clunk walked back in, watching while Conar finished his conversation.

“…ID, uh, 5928-22555…And this was 39872-A… Yeah, thanks.”

He looked up at the Glukkon.

“They said they’d discipline correctly.”

“Good,” Clunk nodded. “It’s important that they… learn. Anyway, we got some fixes underway. It’ll be ten minutes, but if it still don’t work, we’ll take it off your hands and getcha a ride.”

“Gotcha,” Conar nodded, walking back to take a seat.

Unfortunately, Clunk was staying at the desk, watching a monitor. No chance of using this time to rest, then; despite Conar’s reason for being late, he could still get reported for sleeping during work hours. Being late to the Slog Hut was one thing, but using this as an excuse to sleep was a one-way path to being detained until a co-worker could arrive and perform disciplinary action. Talking to the Mudokons was out of the question, too. No Glukkon liked seeing security being buddy-buddy with the workforce. So, he waited, listening to the sounds of mechanics hollering and metal clanging for ten minutes until, finally, the other Slig came back into the lobby.

“W-well,” he said, uneasily, “Got as fixed as we could, boss.”

The three Scrub mechanics walked in, covered in considerably more oil, soot, and burn marks than the Slig was.

“Well,” Clunk smiled, “Why don’t you have your driver friend there get the thing started, and we’ll see you off?”

Slim felt many eyes on him, and he slowly stood up. Mark followed suit, letting their half-chair slide and collapse onto the floor. He and Slim scrambled to get that back onto the wall, and then moved to follow the other Slig, with Conar following after.

He swallowed, climbing into the driver’s seat while Mark and Conar made it into the backseat.

“Hold up,” the head mechanic asked, raising a hand, “What’s the deal with the other Scrub?”

“You know better than to ask questions like that!” Clunk scolded, causing his Slig to wince. “It’s like you know nothing about keeping customers!”

He coughed, nearly dropping his cigar.

“Right then,” he continued, turning his attention to Conar through the window, “Explain why you’re commutin’ with a Mudokon!”

“Ah, y’see, er…”

“’M a student,” Slim meekly offered. “Y’see, he’s my instructor, isn’t that right, ‘Slim’?”

“I—” Mark started, before having his toe pressed by Conar’s metal foot. “Y-yeah, I am. L-lemme give ya a… refresher on how t’start this thing… yeah…”

He reached over, adjusting the levers to get the thing started. A rumble and whining noise, but nothing happened.

“Try again,” Clunk said.

“O-okay,” Mark nodded, having another go. Same result.

“Oy,” Clunk muttered, shaking his head. “All right, my boys’ll ger this into the scrapyard and we’ll getcha a new ride.”

“Actually,” Conar piped up. “I got two perfectly good Scrubs here. Betcha they could do with a bit of exercise, y’know what I’m saying?”

“Not gonna happen,” Clunk laughed. “Can’t have your Muds diving under a hunk of metal and escapin’, can we?”

“No sir,” Conar said, nodding a little too hastily. “Can’t have ‘em fleeing.”

He lifted his gun up meaningfully.

“I’m sure Tess and I could keep an eye on ‘em, though… heh heh…”

Clunk looked at him, and laughed.

“Ah, you really wanna teach ‘em a lesson, huh? Can’t blame ya for that; even a Mudokon should know not to drive into a firefight.”

He turned to his assistant.

“You focus on keeping our boys in line. Let our friend here take care of scrappin’ that piece of crap.”

“Er, all right, sir…”

It was hard to see with his own visor and the other Slig’s pilot-like goggles, but Conar could swear he was getting a side-eye from the guy as he turned to gather his mechanics.

Conar, for his part, simply shrugged, grabbing a ticket as it printed before giving a somewhat forceful jab to Slim’s back with the barrel of his gun.

“Get movin’, you two! I wanna see that cab in the scrap heap, and I wanna see it there now!”

He gave a bit of a chuckle to keep appearances, and the three of them moved the cab out. Well, Slim and Mark did, while Conar kept pace behind them, cradling “Tess” in his arms, still keeping it quite visible in the tried-and-true “Slig At Work” pose.

“Some escape,” Slim muttered under his breath. “Make me wish I was back shoveling Slog poo.”

“Wait, we’re escapin’?” Mark asked, perking up. “I can quit driving Sligs around? No more chokin’ on smoke?”

Before Mark could get too excited, though, he had to flinch as two shots rang out from behind him. Both he and Slim immediately put their hands over their heads, resting their faces onto the car’s trunk. They were just able to turn their heads enough to see Conar looking at them, his smoking gun pointed straight up in the air.

“Enough yapping!” he barked. “You’re slowin’ down when you do that!”

Mark was shaking a little, but Slim just sighed before beginning to push the cab again. On the plus side, the guard had woken up from that, and was already watching them pull up. Conar was already waving the ticket up for him, so he pulled the lever on the left of the control panel.

The three of them watched as the gate shook, groaning and creaking as it dragged along the ground. In the twenty-two seconds it took for it to open, Slim and Mark were able to take a breather, which they gratefully took. They almost didn’t notice when Conar shouted for them to start pushing again, but self-preservation kicked in regardless, and the cab was shoved through the gate again.

It soon became clear that they were not moving past multiple piles of discarded metal, but instead walking on one enormous heap. There was enough rust to pass as dirt if you weren’t walking on it, and they could hear metal creak not just under their feet, but everywhere. In the distance, a stack collapsed onto itself. A crane with an enormous magnet lifted junk into a new pile, and a bulldozer shoved more onto it.

As Conar looked around, the two Mudokons took note of the red eyes floating around. They didn’t seem to be taking any interest in the trio, instead panning over the various machines.

“Now, let’s get this thing outta the way,” Conar said. “I think I see some room over there.”

He gestured over to a place between an old FeeCo train car and a pile of refrigerators. It was a tight fit, but nothing a bit of elbow grease and Slig threats couldn’t take care of.

“Right,” Conar said, “We should find a place to lay low, then. We can figure things out from there.”

He looked either way, and found the door was taken off the train car. That was as good an option as any to look, but Slim put a hand on his shoulder, stopping him from going into it.

“There’s a hideout in the fridges already,” he said. “Might wanna check that first.”

Conar paused to look at the pile on the other side, but outside of various graffiti tags, he didn’t see anything of interest. Besides, the train car was right here.

“I don’t know what you’re tryin’,” he said, pulling his shoulder away from the Mudokon, “but if you think you can pull one over me, you’ve got another thing coming!”

“I’m not—”

“Get in the train!” Conar shouted. “That’s an order!”

“Fine,” Slim sighed, clambering in. It was dark and cold down there, and the air had a metallic scent that was just powerful enough to be uncomfortable. Mark and Conar followed, landing next to him.

“It ain’t much,” Conar admitted, “but at least we should be hidden pretty well here.”

“I guess,” Slim shrugged, while Mark just nodded.

“It’s been a long night, so we oughta rest for a bit. We’ll work on getting started later.”

Conar watched as the Mudokons found a darker corner, huddling together for warmth. Despite the conditions, they found sleep far more easily than Conar did. The Expresso had long since lost its kick, but this was a far cry from the bed he was used to. What was worse, he was watching over recently-freed Scrubs. He could manage one, but what if the two were to gang up on him? Hell, Slim was already giving him orders! He was already getting a lot of nerve!

[ultrasopp]

the rules: answer 17 questions & tag 17 people you want to know better

tagged by @charlataned! thanks!

nickname: i don’t really have one, but some friends used to call me sopp/shroom as a joke

zodiac sign: aquarius! don’t know anything about astrology so idk what that says about me

height: [REDACTED] im short and comments like "awww ur so short!" "ur so cute! ur a smol boi!" have made me v dysphoric so :’))

hogwarts house: aesthetically speaking? slytherin. what house i’m actually in? no idea. maybe i’m like hagrid, just chilling on campus in a hut with my huge monster friends

last thing i googled: the bus schedule because i never memorize it

song stuck in my head: crazy blues by mamie smith

following and followers: im following 103 (haven’t caught up after moving blogs oof!) and i have 914 followers!

amount of sleep i get: not much. like 4-5ish hours? its better when i actually remember to make my meds lol

lucky number(s): don’t really have one!

dream job: would say something like illustrator, comic/concept artist, animator but also. would that drain me of all my creative juices and leave me dying?? who knows!!

wearing: boxers and a big hoodie. which is sad considering i should be in class right now

favorite songs: your bones by of monsters and men, any ghibli or moomin soundtrack, drep meg by honningbarna, oh ms believer by 21p, and probably more

instruments: i used to play drums! wish i didn’t quit, but i suck at actually using my time for practice so i kinda just choose art over drums so i didn’t have to stress about time lol

random facts: i looove history (and art history!) and somehow i’m top of my class and i will tell you about really niche historical events or art periods if given the chance. i am waiting for the day of my top surgery so i can pose with one of those sexie unbuttoned vampire shirts and a rose in my mouth. my ultimate comfort food is lefse (wheat "tortillas" with butter, sugar and cinnamon)

aesthetic: just like. mix up 1920’s art deco, pirates, rebel space pilots, whatever was going on in michelangelo's homoerotic art, clowns and nordic farmer in a knitted sweater. thats what i wanna look like

tagging: @alexander-the-decent @goofybastardzone @kuuttituutti @transkraavitz @tvilling-taz @terezis @feralenby @mothbxtch @lexicals @thepensword @mirammon @lupirl @ohsweetflips @fioblah @bearbunk @acadieum i think thats 17! some of u are good friends already, but most are mutuals i havent spoken with that much lol (no pressure to do this, and if anyone who didn’t get tagged wants to do it feel free to say i tagged you!)

[twilightofthe]

Chapter Five liveblog of The Mandalorian (super late and behind on everything YIKES)! Let’s go!!!

Oh boy blasty blasty!

Gaahhhhh no space battle! There’s a baby on board you monsters!!!

Noooooo don’t let them get hurt!!!

THE BABY IS SCARED I FEEL MURDEROUS

At least baby has some sort of carseat to protecc his widdle head

Don’t mock him bastard you don’t make that line sound half as badass and you know it

Carefulllll

“THAT’S MY LINE” HELL YEA MANDO MAN GET ‘IM GOOD

“The Gunslinger” huh.  Gonna be another western-style theme

That giggle could cure me from the brink of death Baby Yoda I loVE YOU

Huh, he’s got a real sturdy ship, that’s good

Mos Eisley!!!!  Tatooine!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was wrong about that last desert planet being Tatooine but this is definitely Tatooine yayyy I’ve missed you Space Australia!!!!!!!!

Wait hang on a fuck since when does “wretched hive of scum and villainy” Mos Eisley have an actual control tower or any form of tracking thingy?  Isn’t that surprisingly legal for them?  When did they do that???

Oh dear where is Mando Man gonna find any kinda fuel on Hell Planet?

BABY IS SLEEPING I’D KILL FOR YOU BABY YODA YOU ARE THE MOST PRECIOUS LITTLE POTATO DUMPLING GAHHHH

MANDO MAN IS SO TENDER WITH HIS SON

Waaaaait hang on another fuck, I’m anxious about Mando Man leaving baby alone on the ship with the bounty hunters after him and all.  I mean, he’s a bigger target with the baby WITH him but gah

Oh the little mushroom droids from TPM!

Bahaha and of course Mando Man just shoots them xD

Ruh roh he’s in trouble!  Don’t mess with Tatooine locals dude...

She’s pretty chatty, huh?

I thought you didn’t use Imp credits Mando Man?

Wait SHOOOOOOT RIGHT HE DOESN’T LIKE DROIDS BECAUSE THEY SLAUGHTERED HIS FAMILY SHIT SHIT SHIT I’M AN IDIOT

Ho ho they don’t like stormtroopers anymore!!!

Aw she needs friends, only droids to play with.  I can relate haha

WAIT BABY NO DON’T 

YOU’RE TOO WIDDLE YOU’RE GONNA GET HURRRRRRRT

Look

At

His

FACE

He’s already charmed her

I can highkey relate to this woman I like her

NO DON’T GIVE BABY BONES THAT’S A CHOKING HAZARD

She’s playing with the floppy ears I wanna play with the floppy ears

Oh hello is that the same Ep 4 bar???

Who am I kidding of course it is

Droid bartender huh?

Wonder what happened to the last guy

Uwu what’s this guy

Well mister Toro, Han pulled that look off better than you, just sayin’

“Relax”

Oh look it’s Ming-Na Wen!!!

“Beyond the Dune Sea” dammmmmit if they end up finding Obi Wan’s hut imma CRY

Aaaaand he’s hooked Mr. Softie by acting helpless xD

This isn’t gonna end well.  This dude’s an eager rookie, he’s gonna find Baby Yoda and betray Mando Man for that bounty instead........

HE LOST HIS BABY

PROTECTIVE DADDY

Bahahaha she’s lecturing him on child endangerment, give him a break, Peli, he’s doing his damn best xD xD xD

Awwwww he thanked her I love how polite he is

I loooooove the muuuuuusic!!!!!

Hmmmm Sand People?

Yep Sand People

Oh are we actually getting some commentary on the colonist narrative against the Tuskens?

Wait what kinda Tuskens stand and wait patiently?????

Oh we’re actually getting another kind of look at them I like this!

Well newbie’s def gonna blow it

Gahhhhh all this Tatooine stuff’s making me excited for the Obi Wan show ;_; 

Ooop Fennec killed this guy

Yep there she be!

“Nope” SAVAGE

“SHE’S GOT THE HIGH GROUND” ok she BETTER be hid out near Obi Wan’s with that kinda remark xD

I guess Fennec’s the gunslinger then huh?

Aw this guy’s a doof I don’t want him to betray him

Pfff Mando’s using them as bait 

At least his beskar’s holding up

Ms Wen I LOVE YOU she’s such a good fighter

And Mando’s got it!

This guy’s also a dummy she’s gonna escape while Mando Man gets the dewback

Yepppp she’s turning him against Mando Man

I hate being right

Welp she does have a point, that is his smartest decision

That is smartest if he doesn’t have honor

And if he actually had a chance against either Fennec or Mando Man

Whoa wait he actually shot her!

I need to give him more credit!

Wait nah he’s still double crossing ;p

And that’s a waste of Ming-Na Wen if she just died like that >:(

Go save your baby Mando Man!!!!

Let’s hope Peli at least has some skills in protection

Lol nah she doesn’t

Is Baby gonna do something???  Something Force-y?

Ooooo what’s he got in his hand???

Oh shit it’s one of those flashy blinder things!!!!!

Mando Man’s a smart cookie!

CAREFUL OF THE BABY HE WAS HOLDING THE BABY

WHERE’D THE BABY GO

OH THANK GOODNESS HE’S SUCH A SMART LITTLE BABU

SO TALENTED SO SMART I LOVE HIM

Mando Man holding his son is the happiest thing I’ve seen all day

Awwww he still paid her!!!!

oh sHIIIIIIT FENNEC’S NOT DEAD SHE’S NOT DEAD SHE’S NOT DEAD OH FUCK

Ah so Filoni directed the episode, good for you Dave! 

Okay so this was a cute episode.  Kinda predictable storyline, and not the most interesting, but still cute!  It looks like Fennec is still alive so I don’t have to scold anyone for mistreating/misusing female characters just yet.  Peli was charming and I really enjoyed seeing Tatooine again!  Onto the next ep I guess!

[officialvneckvigilantes]

literally all of the asks. i dare you do it

wait... for real? gee, i mean thanks i really appreciate it but i feel bad for everyones feed now1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say? probs something cheeky like "so, come here often?" or somethin like that2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?¯\_(ツ)_/¯3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?nope its their life4. Is your last name longer than six letters?nope5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober?uhhh in between?6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?yeppppp like most of the time7. What does your last received text say?"oh shit dill! yooooo"8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?bruh its been a while idk maybe like a handful?9. Where was your last kiss at?someones dorm10. When is the last time you saw your sister?literally at work this morning lol11. What do you drink in the morning?juice or excellence12. Where did you sleep last night?alone on my futon13. Do you think relationships are hard?no but ya gotta put in the effort yafeel?14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?yeaahhh15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?no but id just rather not16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?sunny17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?yea18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?i like jeans but no pants is best pants19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?i fucking hope omg20. Does anyone like you?i think so amd i hope they do21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?nope22. Is the last person you kissed gay?nah 23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?maybe my old dormmate from scad but even that i can get over24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?yeah i want constellations on me25. In the past week have you cried?nah26. What breed was the last dog you saw? pitbull + something (idk what my dogs mixed with)27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?out like why tf would i dry off in the wet shower 28. Have you ever kissed a football player?no29. Do you think you’re old?this is based on perspective and you know that. 30. Do you like text messaging?yeah i think its a nice casual way of keeping in touch31. What type of day are you having?a pretty good one32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?maybe but idk man33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?warm weather is fun for summer but i want snow in wintert goddammit34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?yeah35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?relationships have much more meaning but honestly thats up to the gal i just really want affection at this point36. Are you a simple or complicated person?uhhh im kind of a wildcard so who fucking knows theres a lot going on37. What song are you listening to?the radio rn but recently it was learn to fly by foo fighters38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it?yeah of course39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?i dont think i even know almost everything about me tbh40. What made you start liking the person you like now?WOW what a question uhh cute/gorgeous? funny? personality? has shown affection/interest in me? like what more do you want???41. When did you last receive a text message?9:34 group chat 3:55 text42. What is wrong with you right now?wow thats a loaded question so next43. How well do you know the last female you texted?we kinda just met so theres still a lot to learn but so far kinda well44. Does anyone disgust you?people who dont show consideration for others or the environment45. Would you date someone right now if they asked?hell yes46. Are you in a good mood right now?yeah id say so47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?my parents?48. What color shirt are you wearing?black v neck, baby49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?no i dont think so50. Anyone you’re giving up on?nah i dont think you should ever give up on anyone51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?no. not even a little bit52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?no53. Do you like rain?yeah its real relaxing 54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?no way i can make her cool drinks!55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?like 90% of them omg 56. Do you like to cuddle?uhhh who doesnt?57. Are you shy?in some situations but people always tell me im really social 58. Do you get along with girls?yeah idk why59. Have you dated the person you texted last?no? 60. What do you carry with you at all times?phone, wallet, keys 61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?yes whats more haunting than student loans 62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?yeah and i would really want to 63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?nope 64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?yesssss65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?yeah. like a lot of cute shit66. How old are the last three people you kissed?well now youre asking if ive kissed three whole people67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself? uhhh68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print? leopard print reminds me of early 2000's mall rat ladies so dear god no69. Do you have any stickers on your car? yeah from all the schools i attended70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne? idk man does it really matter?71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone? i like apples ui and the simplicity but ive been using android for the past couple years. just got the s8 and its great. 72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut? last week?73. Do you like diet soda? eh. dont like dont hate74. What color are the walls in your room? 3 are tan one is black75. Are you 16 or older? yep76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars? nope77. Do you have a job? yep catch me at that bed bath and beyond life 78. What are your initials? ztf79. Did you ever have braces? yeah it kinda sucked80. Are you from the south? no81. What does your last status on facebook say? "sinners." in reply to a mountain of cardboard boxes in my old dorm82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed? yeah83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad? probs my dad84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics? i did gymnastics when i was a wee lad85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters? dude idk im just pumped for cars 3 midnight release86. Do you smoke? nah87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops? ew88. Is your phone touch screen? wow 200889. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly? it kinda just does its own thing and i love it for that90. Have you ever snuck out of your house? yeah91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool? pool for swimming, lake for canoeing92. Have you ever made out in a car? woah yes and theres a big story behind that lol93. …Had sex in a car? not like full sex but hand stuff yea94. Are you single or in a relationship? as single as the last 20 years of my life (very)95. What were you doing last night at midnight? watching the office i think96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks? new years but i got a bunch that i wanna light97. Do you like the camera on your phone? yeah it great for snapshots and convenience but ill always prefer my dslr98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits? ...like healthcare? no99. Have you ever passed out from drinking? nah 100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate? i dont hate anyone so no101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? if i was pregnant i wouldnt be the only one who was scared102. Name your favorite Kesha song: why103. Do you have any tan lines right now? HA no im white as fuck but maybe in the summer ill burn up some color104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts? for realsies or for fun? cuz yes to eitherthanks again for asking me!! i appreciate it a whole lot!

[savingfairies-blog]

not a poem i wrote this cause its 1am and im bored

every day i set my alarm for 5:45am to allow myself a fake ‘lie in’ and then when it goes off i turn it off and go back to sleep and set another alarm which is usually 7. when i open my eyes its usually just before 7 and so i quickly turn the alarm off before it goes off, i don’t know why but the idea of an alarm going off after i have already woken up really bugs me and quite frankly i hate loud noises and abrupt deafening sounds, especially when i have just opened my damn eyes !!!? sometimes i think i must have died in a past life of being screamed at or another alternative life i would have probably drowned because the ocean scares the crap out of me but thats another story for another day. and so after i have switched the alarm off quickly before it goes off puts me in a bad mood all day, i usually, although i should take full advantage of waking up earlier, get back into bed and go back to sleep because after all i’ve still got time hunny. then i wake up to my mum or dad telling me to get up and asking why i haven’t moved yet and it’ll be like 7:30 and i’ll be like shit i have aprox 28 mins to get dressed to catch the bus at the bus stop 2 mins away for 8. so i dash out of bed like sonic the blue hedgehog and i sometimes think wow i’m way too hungry a gal gotta catch breakfast and make myself late which i’ll get into. so its usually two slices of lightly toasted bread with whatever chocolate coated cereal we got in with some water. i hate water, it tastes like weird, if you think water has no taste then i envy you cause i taste some weird taste every time i drink water from any tap, any bottle, any source. i take it upstairs and eat it on my bed cause it tastes better that way for some reason and it makes me feel more relaxed about being behind schedule. hate that word schedule like some people (like my dad) say shedule n i’m like wtf. shed? also an ugly arrangement of letters sorry schedule fans. and so i probably watch anderz which is a vlog channel on youtube by helen anderson and her life is a lot more interesting than mine so it spices things up a lil you know. and practically swallow my breakfast whole cause i’m in that much of a rush and then pick an outfit which takes me forever and turns out to look shit anyway lol kms and dash straight into the bathroom like sonic himself and go to the toilet for my routine wee and then wash my hands, brush my teeth, wet my face with warm water, put clearasil face wash on my face and then rinse it off with water again and then wash my hands again. because i have an addiction to washing my hands and i like to carry hand sanitiser with me wherever i go but its usually not enough because i like the feel of cold water splashing on my hands and hand sanitiser thats been sitting in the bottom of my above room temperature bag doesn’t quite compare. so then i put deodorant on and get all my fresh clothes on ya know the drill !!! and go sit on my phone again and continue to watch anderz vlogs and then see the time n think ooo i’m really living life on the edge here so i start to put makeup on my face and most of the time i don’t look at my face while putting it on because over the years i have grown accustomed to not liking my face at all for a various number of reasons and so i prefer to not look at it much ya no it really kills my vibe and i wanna feel like queen b not a rodent ok . i usually take a long time to get ready to then only look like a large poo emoji hahah !!! but then i chose my trainers that i’ve grown a little collection of and i set off for the bus feeling fine. after checking i have the correct £1.40 in my pocket so i don’t have to count it at the bus stop with a potential bus arriving or even worse, on the bus when i can feel peoples piercing eyes on me and i am terrible at counting money quickly sorry its not my fault you’re late for work deborah, i’m late myself and i can’t have the guilt of you too this gal already to emotionally unstable n i’m gunna collapse. i double check the change like seven times while i’m standing at the bus stop and keep a look out for the bus. one time i was at a bus stop (the other day actually) and because the bus stop is on a road just before a corner, you can never be sure when a bus is gunna come cause u can’t bloody see wtf who’s idea was this ?? and so whenever you hear a bus like engine roaring up, you gotta act fast. so i’m stood at the bus stop, a woman comes and stands behind me, cool i’m not alone whatever. a bus imitating noise comes along and i sure as hell move my ass fast from inside the shelter to outside of the hut where i get as close to the edge of the road to depart and climb on board of the bus. after aprox 3 seconds a truck flies past and i jump out of my knickers and back the hell up, i’m sure the woman thought i was straight up going to take my 19 years that morning, it didn’t happen. i feel a little silly, the bus comes, i’m running late like most days and by now i don’t even see the point in checking the time, i either make it or i don’t, looking makes it more real so i chose to do a timeless sprint from the bus station to the train station flying past everybody at, in my mind, 70mph. i feel like a bird flying through the air, by about 5 minutes into my power walk i feel like a penguin trying to fly and my shins start stabbing and feeling like they’re gunna snap off and because i’m in no form fit, i can’t breathe and this particularly day i was wearing heeled boots, bad move wtf you should have gone for one of my nice selection of trainers silly. i speed round a corner feeling good and like lightning and then my ankle swerves on an uneven pavement piece (wtf ?!!!) and i nearly fall on to a bunch of 16 year old middlesbrough college sport boys. its embarrassing but i’m already red from the flight. i run up the stairs going light headed and get on my train with 2 minutes to spare. i couldn’t breathe but it was brilliant, i did it. the train usually sets off like 5 mins later than 32 minutes past 8 as it should. i don’t mind much, in fact i couldn’t care less. i then proceed to pant and break into a mild sweat and because i’m an idiot, i never pack water and so i dehydrate but least i’m gunna make it to uni right? so i put my bag on the seat next to me and put my earphones in because i don’t have any friends as you will probably realise lol. i put a bit of kanye on or something like that, maybe london grammar if i’m feeling suicidal or feeling like i’m gunna die from a heart attack because of the exercise, i’d wanna go out to something nice like that ya know. train trugs along, thornaby, stockton, billingham, seaton carew and then hartlepool. it goes on further to better places like cool newcastle but stops there for me like most things in my life hehe !! so then i get off and power walk into the uni building with kanye or something blasting down my ear canals making me feel like a full blown g. i often forget my uni card so the g stops usually at the door where i stand pondering how the hell i’m gunna get in and if i’m ever gunna make it. usually someone comes and then they have a card and so its cool, i get up the stairs and go into the room where the magic happens lol jk. nothing happens here in the story for like ¾ hours cause i just sit by myself occasionally doing some work while taking breaks of staring into space because not many acknowledge me haha :) i then realise nothing will literally happen if i just leave, so then i go home again, sometimes after an hour lol i just hate it. i like the course, i love drawing even though i can’t really draw anything but apart from that i just wish the train would be completely late :) so i repeat the travelling process but in reverse and get home for like 2/3. i then go on the computer often playing sims and then get a shower and get my pyjamas on and get into bed. i don’t talk to anyone apart from my family all day every day :) my friends have dropped me which is ya know a bit disheartening but you can’t persuade someone to like you so i’ve just left them to it. i’m alone now and i’m depressed. my days are just slow but racing past and everything is going downhill by the second. 2016 was shit. hope 2017 isn’t or i dunno what i’m gunna do. i have my friend Shannon, she’s like my bestfriend but its a bit poo cause shes in uni so its hard to get to see her much but im going to manchester to see her for a weekend next week and we’re going to see jeremy kyle live so thats funny, i actually can’t wait. But the rest is drab and i hope for change and i hope i find some friends around here haha