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spontaniuss · 1 year

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I've never felt so alone while being surrounded by many people.

Its Friday March xx, 202x. This is what I am sure of.

I swore I just woke up today, did my usual routine and got to school but something felt of. Im not sure if I just ate something bad last night but my mouth feels chalky and dusty as I am brushing my teeth. I pay no mind to it at first as I am going to rinse it off, but that feeling wont leave me. I walk back to my room and get ready for my day. Keys, wallet, phon- Wait. I look to where it is supposed to be at, next to my bed on its charger, but surprisingly its not there, just a pile of duest that mist have settled throught the night. I sigh as I realize this is another dask I must do when I return from work. But now, I panic. I dont know how late I am to work and realized I didnt wake up with any alarm. I run through my house and find it sitting on my dinning room table. Huh, I must have forgetten after I ate dinner last night.

I click the side button to find out how late I am today. No luck, its dead. Great. I wipe the phone screen onto my pants, noticing that it also has baby dust bunnies settled onto it.

I dont even bother to have breakfast, never really was my routine anyways and just run out the door. I run to where my car is supposed to be at, but i just find an empty parking space. No broken glass, no broken rools. Not how I expected my day to begin. I start walking to my nearest bus station, knowing if I just get to work, I can charge up my phone and call the cops. My mind starts racing and panicking at the scolding from my manager. Luckly, he is a big goof with a big heart. He will understand, right?

I walk into the store and imidiately get greeted "Hi, welcome to xxxx" I laugh it off, its a running gag at this point.

"Hey guys, sorry Im late, someone stole my car-"

"Oh, did you have an appointment?" Soira asks while looking at me quizically.

"Haha, an appointment to work" I respond as I walk towards the back rooms to clock in. I imidiately get stopped by Alfred. Alfred glared down onto me, using the height difference to highlight his anger.

"Hey boss, let me clock in, let me-"

"Am sorry, who are you? Only employees back here"

"WOW ALFRED! Im late a few moments and you no longer remember me, such a friend you are!" I joke at my boss while I poke his side to make him move out the way.

"Ma'am, I think you may have been mistaken, Alfred and I are the only two that work here" Soira states. Her blue-gray eyes pierce through me in pure confusion. I chuckle a bit before looking at her.

"Soira, you too? I know im just a transfer, but I have been here for at least a month, you two MUST be pulling some sorth of skit huh"

Soira and Alfred look at each other in what I assume to be genuine confusion. A cold sweat runs down my back and im suddenly being escorted around the counter.

As confused as I was, i began to ramble, "Guys, what ever prank yall are pulling, this aint funny anymore. I was already having a shitty morning, I dont need this too. Come on, I transfered from the Northside location. Soira you solde 5 products yesterday to a family of 3, Alfred, you were just bitching how our regional manager doesnt give us freedom. I can show you yesterday's numbers too. I have them on my pho-"

"Okay, I dont know what elaborate prank YOU are pulling but this isnt funny. For you to know sensitive information is creepy, and judging by how you were going to the back to 'clock in' is already terrifying. Please, call your previous location to clarify this."

When those words left Alfred's mouth, I can only feel what I can only describe at dread. That uneasy feeling returned and punched me in the gut. I look down onto my shirt to make sure Im in uniform. Its not like I would continue going head to head with them.

"Okay, can I borrow a Samsung charger. I need to make a few calls."

Soira reaches under the counter and hands me a new looking charger. I take it and akwardly walk towards a corner table, plus it in and wait a few minutes before the screen of my phone flashes white and turns on.

57 missed calls, 103 messages. Great.

I click on ignore and rush to my phone keypad. I dial my mother's phone number and it doesnt take long for her to answer.

"Hello?"

"Hey ma, do you think you can help me, I-"

"WHERE ARE YOU?? IM GOING TO PICK YOU UP, ILL BE RIGHT THERE, PLEASE STAY ONTHE PHONE WITH ME, DONT LEAV-"

"Ma, im okay, my car got stolen, im currently at my job in the southside location, my phone was dead so i probably couldnt answer because of that"

I heard wailling from the other end of the phone and I couldnt help to just roll my eyes. Mom has always been overly emotional but this. This is a bit much. She really insisted on staying on the line as she rushed over to pick me up. I could hear my younger brother screaming in the background as I can assume as pure terror. He never liked hearing mom cry or being in a super fast vehicle. I can only imagine the terror of those two combine.

Eventually, my mother pulls up in her blue mini van, only that it looks more rusted and banged up than what I remember. She gets out of the car and runs over to hug me and usher me into the car. The ride home was just filled with silence and quiet sobbing. I know better than to ask what is wrong. Tears and driving do not mix, and whatever has her in this state must be terrible. No need to make it worst.

As we pull up into my mom's driveway, I notice my car parked deep into the garage. My older brother is just standing outside with his hands on his hips, looking at me amused. I cant help but laugh and point it out to mom. She looks at me at as if I had grown 3 heads.

"DO YOU THINK THIS IS A JOKE? YOU HAVE BEEN GONE FOR 7 MONTHS, AND ALL YOU CAN DO IS LAUGH AT US???"

I blink at my mother's harsh words. I look at her face and notice that she is serious. I couldn't help but check my phone. Still Friday March xx, 202x. Yup

"Ma, what you mean 7 months? I was here yesterday when Drima told us he is graduating soon. I was here when father told us about a new project at work", I open the door and step out the car, getting that same feeling of dread pulsing through my chest. Soon that was pushed aside when Drima bombarded me with a hug. I held on to the door, hoping i dont get knocked over. I slowly turn around and look at him starting to tear up. Never in my life have I seen my older brother tear up, except when his guinea pig died of old age. Its like he had accepted the fact that I trully was gone.

Taking a deep breath, I finally manage to mutter, "I think we need to go inside and talk, this is too much"

---

"Are you sure you werent kidnapped?"

"No, I litteraly remember yesterday and everything what happened"

If the feeling of dread was overwhelming before, its suffocating now. I kept on being asked the same questions over and over, trying to find any flaw in my story, any detailed I missed out, any information to call bullshit on. My family's faces turned ghost white as I summerized their lives for the past 7 months, without missing a beat.

Their shock was shared with my best friend and boyfriend, who promptly arrived when they heard of my reapearrance. I was walked through the house as if I had lost my memory. Nothing was different than how it was yesterday. My mother had to step away to wail some more, and my father finally came around to see with own two eyes the 'truth'. I kept trying to ask questions, but no one seemed to be answering. I started believing in these crazy stores that 'maybe I was a ghost' or 'maybe I jumped dimentions'. These theories kept swimming in my head, but I can not recollect anything being different. In the midst of this, squad cars appeared at the front of the house and two officers walked in. Like any soap opera traditional police questioning, they of course had to question my sanity.

"Im telling you officer, I have all these details fresh in my mind. I woke up, in my bed, went to work, they wouldnt believe me either"

"Are you sure you werent just hallucinating, you know, letting the ol' brain getting the best of ya? Did you maybe run away with a boyfriend?"

"Absolutely no way, I was just with Jun the day before yesterday. I promise you, this is isnt hallucination of shit"

I began to question so much. For example, if I trully was gone, how was my apartment paid and my phone bill paid. How do I have explicit memories of things said. Why are some things different but not others? The officers eventually let me be alone to my thoughts for a moment, as they informed my mother that I might need to see a psychiatrist or an exorcist. That I had really lost it or playing a really sick joke. I felt like a child, where no one will hear because 'they dont know any better'. Retreating back to my room was the only thing that made me calm down. Entering it really felt cold, like no one had been there for a while. Light dust coated my desk and dresser while my bed was neatly folded and tucked, like my mother likes it to be.

"Lex, we have to talk"

I turn around and Jun was just leaning on the doorway with his arms crossed.

"Jun, please, if you're going to sit there and just call me crazy, please dont, I-"

"No one says youre crazy"

"Really? Cause Im currently about to loose my shit and you are here wanting to 'talk'. Your pose and demeanor doesnt really scream supportive boyfriend"

"Aw, come on Lex, no need to be like that. I just wanted to hear the answer without any bias or prejudice"

Jun walked towards me and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into an akward hug. The person who was my santuary is now a source of uncertainty, polluded by the clouds of uncomfortable air. The arms who used to contourt to my body now felt like twigs just wrapped around me. You would think something like this wouldnt just change over night. I slightly pushed him away and continued inspecting my room in silence.

"Lex, I just want to know, did you run away with someone?"

Those words echoed in my room, as if the furniture was non existant. For some reason, that question stung more coming from his mouth than the police officers'. I knew turning around to face him was a terrible idea. I knew that my next steps would lead to me slapping or shouting at him. Tears overfilled my eyes quickly, not out of sadness, but out of frustration. Shakly, I managed to compose myself and give him an answer after what felt like like hours.

"No, for fucks sake, Jun, I did not run away, if I went to dinner with your parents on Wednesday!"

"...are you on drugs?"

Ignoring Jun from that point seemed like the better option. Gaslighting me is certainly not something I am fond of. My head started swirling, and I opted to sit down on my desk. I advised Jun that I wasnt feeling good and to please exit my room. The air behind me shifter to hesitation, neverthe less I could hear him shuffle his way out and close the door behind him. I looked out the window momenterely and sure enough, everything looked the same like yesterday, but it wasn't. If i am to continue with the idea that I really was missing for the last 7 months- I can already tell I am in deep shit.

I search in the drawers next to me for any journal or scratch paper and a pencil. If I am to continue with crazy town, I should write everything I remember from the last 7 months. Opening my the 3rd drawer to my left, it made me remember that it had a false bottom. I took that false bottom to reveal a teal notebook. I could not seem to place it in my brain of when I bought it or where, but that it got there sometime last week. I opened it up to a new page and wrote everything. Absolutely everything.

Jun's Birthday, bought a build a bear and wrote letter as gift

Drima's birthday was the day after, took him to his favorite restaurant, he ordered mash potatoes and made him laugh so hard that they came out through his nose.

Mom got a new makeover 2 months ago and turned his skin orange for a week.

Got a new promotion and transfered to a new location.

Change my car's oil 4 months ago at xxx

Sent Jess a curious meme about life partners and friend soulmates yesterday.

Went to the mall 5 months ago when I decided to buy a new couture dress. Jun was happy that I finally spent some money on my self-

Reality suddenly hit me like a truck when it came to finances. If I hadn't worked for 7 months, how was I affording my lifestyle. I pulled up my bank account. Surprisenly, it was as if I had not even touched my account. Even the loading screen said last log on : December 23, 20xx. My brain broke in half reading that. I know I logged on a week ago, and if I really was missing for 7 months, my log in screen would have said September. Checking my account, money had certainly been rolling into my account as well. Check from my employment had been rolling in with the notes stating it was for "family help". I add this to the list of things I have been keeping on my newly found notebook, grab my keeps and make haste to my car.

"Where are you going?"

I turn around and my mother was standing there glaring at me and my keys.

"Ma, I need to go to work. I need answers"

Jess was standing behind my mother with a hand on her shoulder.

"If it makes you feel any better, Ill take Lex to her workplace, Mrs.M"

Jess walked up to me and took the keys from my hands, "but I'll drive".

----

The car ride there was quiet. When you are friends with someone for so long, you find that words arent needed to convey a thought. It wasnt until now that I realized how tense my body was. I got confirtable in my seat, when suddenly Jess spoke up.

"I heard you got into an argument with Jun"

"Since when he goes and reports to you?"

"Lex, you have to understand. Someone getting up one day after missing for 7 months like nothing happened, its a tough pill to swallow. We mean well, and I really want to believe you"

"..But?"

"No buts, I just want to believe. You have an incredible memory recollection. Plus, ive been knowing you for the longest. You love Jun, you wouldnt just run away like that."

I sit in silence and look at the passing view until we come across a red light. I notice how the light post is filled with 'Lost' pages with my picture on it. Jess must have felt my nervousness because she reached behind me and pulled a newspaper that must have been sitting at the back of my car and handed it to me. Looking at it closer, the date October 22, 20xx flashed to my eyes before noticing the headline.

'Missing 24 year old in freak accident'.

#oc stuff #my art #bookworm #story ideas

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suguru-getos · 2 years

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genshin boys when you aren’t eating properly

warnings: implied eating disorder, tooth rotting fluff.

characters included: xiao, zhongli, itto, childe, ayato, thoma

xiao: the yaksha is too stunned tbh, why are you not eating? cant you see youre miserable without food? what is happening with you? finally, he brings his favorite almond tofu for you and sits beside you, “i dont know why you aren’t taking care of yourself, little human” he mutters with furrowed brows and feeds you with his own hands. as someone who likes to eat alone, it is a big step from him to actually sit beside you and eat every meal together. <3

zhongli: oh the archon rex lapis’ favorite little human. the most adored being on earth isn’t eating properly? that simply won’t do, that can’t do- “little one, i can’t help but notice you are getting weaker. the bags under your eyes aren’t from lack of sleep. i am sure since i sleep beside you.” when you tell him that you just don’t want to eat these days. he is concerned. hand resting in his chin as his index finger taps his lips. “that won’t do, sweet thing. that really won’t-“ he clears throat and leaves. the next day you’ll have little bites of everything. every single taste liyue has to offer on your table. all in small amounts. you don’t like liyue? inazuma’s specialities are ordered for you, monstadt too. he knows it’s hard for you to gulp down food. but he’s patient.

itto: “whadyaa meaaannn numero two?” he pouts, concerned when you said you feel nauseous at the sight of food. “i mean i get itt~ im allergic to beans and they make me lose it; but what’s up with mr. belly here trynna act all sassy,” his black, long nailed fingers draw designs on your tummy as he cooes. “tell ya somethin’ i wont let you harm your body like that baby, thats a promise.” the whole arataki gang will make sure you have your meals, they would even bring different things, sweeter things for dessert and just over all be really appreciative and clap their hands and do their little dancies when you eat properly xx

childe: mighty rich harbinger sama’s s/o not eating? whomst the fucketh dareth made her like that? rage 😡 oops- it’s you? o-o childe has a loss of words, “i don’t understand girlie, you don’t like to eat knowing it would harm you?” he brings you onto his lap, making sure you are craddled to him like a baby. he isn’t wearing his normal clothes and the intimacy of it makes you whimper. “i don’t know ajax, things have just been off and maybe it’s” he interrupted you with a kiss. “maybe a change of scenary will do you good baby,” he is taking you to snezhnaya to spend time with his family ensuring you feel mentally okay and try all the snezhnaya cuisines xoxo 💋

ayato: he usually doesn’t have the time to notice your little things and he deeply regrets it. the workload he has is immense. one day when you are walking with him in the kamisato estate, you slowly pass out. he’s immediate to pick you up and call the doctor, ensuring you are in his lap the whole time. ayato loses a part of his sanity when he sees his loved ones being harmed. the doctor informs him about your body not receiving proper nutrition. ayato doesn’t want to take the stern approach but he does. when you wake up he talks to you with extreme authority. “y/n, i will be staying here in the estate for ten days. until then, you will accompany me with every meal, and if not, you will come to me and inform me of every snack you take, every drop of water you drink. am i clear?” when you do this, he softly smiles and kisses your forehead, “proud of you, my darling,”

thoma: housekeeper thoma sama is the most caring househusband in the whole game i dont make the rules. he takes care of waka the bully so taking care of you is just natural to him. “sweetheart i’ve noticed, you’ve been taking fewer bites of food than usual, you- uh? on a diet or something? if you are, im sure i can make something that would suit-“ he notices you sheepishly denying the whole thing. thoma is also your best friend so you are quick to inform him about what’s happening to you mentally and physically. please he will ensure you like everything and will personally make every dish for you 🥺💋 whenever you’re making progress he’ll bring you close and kiss your forehead and be a grinning, happy mess.

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sardonic-courtney · 4 years

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Crowley x Reader. We Met Before. P2/7

Summary: You end up living with Bobby after your parents die. You go to church and meet Priest Crowley and you end up getting along (if you know what i mean). A few years later when Bobby passes you move the the bunker with Sam and Dean and end up meeting Crowley again.

Part 1 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7

Warnings: Mention of loss, Spelling mistakes, Picture of gun (straight after keep reading), you go to church?

Around 1700 words.

Meeting:

(Around season 5 but not following story at all)

…the day before your 18th birthday. The day you can finally start training and helping on hunts. You fall asleep after the movie and wake up to your alarm reading 8.30am (Birthdate) Sunday. The day you had been waiting for. You could finally start training. Well after Sunday service, it was something your mother never failed to attend no matter what state she was hunting in and you kept that alive, even if you weren’t exactly sure how you felt about religion, but going helped you feel close to your mum again, and after hearing briefly about what the Winchesters had gone though it could be useful to learn a bit more. You got ready and headed to the kitchen where you met with Bobby.

“Happy Birthday kid” he said trying to sound as enthusiastic as possible, even though he had woken up kinda early on a weekend.

“Hey, I’m 18 now, no longer a kid.” You smiled at him.

He shook his head in response chuckling as he grabbed an envelope with a box attached to it. When you received it you could see your name written messily on the envelope in a blue ink, you opened it and to no surprise was a card with (Your fav animal) wearing a hat, just like every year. You smiled and read the inscription inside. Then headed for the black box with a gold ribbon loosely tied around, Bobby had never been the best at bows, but you love the effort. Untying and opening the box you see a silver gun with carvings on, and a wooden handle with a pentacle carved. (Like below but you can change to preference)

“I know it's not much, but it was your dad’s, the boys found it when they…” he trailed of for a second. “when they were searching the nest, I thought it was the best time to give it to you, seeing as you’re so god damned persistent on training.”

“I love it Bobby, thank you so much” You gently lay it on the table and encase him in a hug, which he allows for a few seconds”

“Alright” He said patting your back and stepping away, “just because you have a gun doesn’t mean you are ready to hunt though. Understood?”

“Yeah I know” you reply trying not to laugh at his stern expression.

“Right well there’s some (f/f) if your hungry” he said moving to reveal a plate behind him.

“Oh my gosh you didn’t have to” You say looking at the counter with a neatly plated breakfast. You grabbed it and sat down enjoying the change from the usual cereal or toast, and with a mouth half full asked. “When can I start?”

“Lunch time. We will start with some basics ways to hunt and defend yourself.”

You were about to speak when he interrupted guessing your thoughts.

“You won’t be going on any hunts anytime soon until you are 100% ready. You can help out with some of the research though”

You rolled your eyes, as if you didn’t already help with the research. You finished your food and said your goodbyes, Bobby probably heading back to bed for a nap, you left heading for church to see Priest Peter. He was a nice priest and you got to know him a bit with the visits you made.

You were stood outside the church on time at 9:30 when you friend Lena came up and you started heading in. Lena was lovely, you had met at your first church service and continues to go together ever since. You didn’t really see each other outside, but you grew close nonetheless. She was only a year older than you but sometimes it seemed like she was half her age. She like the rest of people outside your small family didn’t know it was your birthday, and you liked that.

“So (Y/N), did you hear Priest Peters gone away for a while?” she spoke grinning at you, unlike you she didn’t like Peter, said his voice made her want to sleep.

“What, how come? I didn’t hear anything” you replied completely confused.

“Yep, No one knows for sure, but I think it's something about a family member getting married in Australia.”

“So, do we have Marcus today then?” Marcus was as you called him jr Peter, he was still in training and followed Peter around like a lost dog.

“Must do” She replied smiling, she never said it but you could tell she liked Marus a lot more, you took your seats, you sat on the second row back always. It was good for the winter because it was next to a heater, and good for the summer because it was near an openable window. You and Lena sat and talked about pointless things until everyone had sat down and the service started.

The priest walked up, but it wasn’t Marcus or anyone you had ever seen before. It was a very attractive man. He had messy hair, and very short beard on his pale skin. He was slightly chubby and wearing the usual priest get up, but for some reason seemed slightly us of place. Your eyes were drawn to him, it was like you couldn’t look away.

“Good Morning. I am Father Crowley, and I will be covering for Peter whilst he is away at his sister’s wedding.” he spoke confirming Lenas rumor.

He had a beautiful English accent and managed to get everyone's attention without raising his voice. The service went on as usual, although you payed more attention to the man in front of you instead of his teachings of God. Before long, it was over, and you all got up to give blessings and mingle a bit before you were to go. After a while Lena had left having to go run an errand, and you were talking to an old woman you did the occasional job for who lived about 5 minutes away. Just as you finished your conversation and the women went out, your phone buzzed, and you pulled it out of your pocket. 10.45 am, and two new messages.

One from Sam “Morning (Y/N), Happy Birthday, hope you have a good day, me and Dean will try to visit soon, I found a book in the bunker library you will like.”

Another from Dean “Happy Birthday (N/N) good luck training today, have a good one. Me and Sammy will swing round in a couple weeks to check in and make sure Bobby’s not driving you too crazy. Be safe xx”

You smiled as you slid your phone away deciding to reply later. You had been close to the Winchesters after the accident, both becoming brothers to you, Dean was however much more protective of you then Sam was. You looked around and noticed you were the last to leave, as you turned towards the doors you noticed Father Crowley still stood there looking at you.

“Did you enjoy the service?” he asked casually walking over to you.

You hesitated a moment before replying with a simple “Yes”. You don’t know why but he made you feel slightly nervous, not in a bad way, but you couldn’t describe it. You noticed up close his eyes were a sort of green colour.

“Good, I’m new to holding services to be honest with you…”

“(Y/N)” you filled in the blank.

“(Y/N) what a lovely name. Do you always come to church (Y/N)?” He asked lingering on your name.

“Yes, Father every week” you replied composing yourself a little. “It seemed like you had done a thousand services before, I don’t think anyone noticed”

“Thank you, and please just call me Crowley, I’m not a big fan of the whole Father thing” he said smiling. “What were your thoughts on the passage read today?”

“I’m not sure. I think in some ways it………...but it seems a bit………” You gave your opinion and Crowley responded with a grin.

“I agree completely. Well I assume you will be here next week?”

“Yes, I will be, and you?”

“Peter will still be away so it will be me again for at least another 2 weeks. Would you perhaps like to meet up after service for coffee and discus some more of your views?”

“Sure, I would love to” you replied trying to hide your smile, “I better get going though, goodbye Crowley.”

“Until next time” he nodded as you left to go back home.

Meeting up next week? For coffee? You thought as you walked along the path. Okay (Y/N) don’t think to much into it, he just wants to talk about the service. Oh, why did I agree, I don’t want to sit and talk to a priest about the bible, although I do want to talk to this specific priest more. Why am I even worrying about it it’s not like it’s a date, can priests even date? I wouldn’t even want it to be, he seems nice and he is attractive, but if he can date he's probably already married he did seem a bit older. It's probably a group thing and he just invited me along to go with them, of course that makes sense.

You finally arrived though the front door and are greeted with the sound of yelling coming from in the house.

“…no, you idjit, you’re supposed to give them the second number if you want the FBI………. Just don’t mess up again your lucky I have common sense.” He put the phone down just as you walked in the room.

“What was that?” You asked sitting on a chair.

“The wheelers, giving out the wrong numbers again. Your back later than usual service run over?” He asked looking at his watch.

“No just stayed to chat a bit after, it was a new priest.”

“Ahh I see, well do you want to watch a film seeing as its your birthday we could go get some snacks and rent a movie?”

“No way, you’re not getting out of this one, you said we would train at noon, its 11:30. We can watch a film after.” You looked up at him and he frowned.

“I don’t know kid, maybe we should wait another year.”

“Nope no chance, I’m going to get changed and then we can start.” Bobby looked unimpressed so you added on a “Please.” Giving him puppy dog eyes.

“Fine all right, alright go change we can start today”

“Yay thank you” You yelled heading up the stairs to get changed.

A/N I don’t really know what a service looks like because i haven't been to one for ages, so apologise about that. Sorry if your names Lena as well don't worry show wont be mentioned much. Thank you for reading hope you enjoyed it. :D

#crowley #crowley x you #crowley x reader #PriestCrowley #crowley x y/n #crowley supernatural #supernatural #supernatural x reader

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unravelling-the-world · 3 years

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random thoughts related to kagepro (tw for depression?? death?? suicide ?? implied ?? im not sure and idk what else read at ur own risk)

well idk lately ive been thinking a lot and ik ive uh always (? since i can remember?) have been depressed (i mean...it started around age 12...i dont really remember much before that. most of what i remember are bad moments anyways. or very specific scenes. but they dont feel mine. if that makes sense. its like remembering the scene from a movie. back on track i guess idk well lately ive realized i actually kin some characters and lately ive...been relating a lot to shintaro kisaragi fromkagepro. i mean its ok. there´s always been that specific similarity in us (after all, how many characters in anime are as related to coca cola as shintaro //and me,,im literally a coca cola addict lmao// well anyways. after some days, this lead me to thinking...to a hidden memory within my brain, i guess. I remember introducing my then best friends, to kagepro. one told me haha he´s like u bc the coca cola!! and i think i just laughed and smiled? i truly didn´t see it? i was sad sure, but i couldnt really relate to him. after all, i was the leader of my own little group of 12 year old weebs,right? (i was also 12 btw) i didnt personally dislike shintaro but i didnt rly see myself in him yknow? also i have loved ayano from ever since i have memory so idk like she´s one of my biggest comfort characters and its weird bc if she was ´´real´´ idk if i could date her or anything but im just glad she exists bc it somehow comforts me a lot yeah anyways ayano essay for another time lol. anyways at this age my favorite characters in kagepro were ayano and konoha ( i still love them a lot) thing is, at this point in my life i didnt know/wasnt aware i was transgender but i already kinda liked he/him pronouns so i roleplayed a lot. online. i roleplayed as konoha obviously lmao and actually one of my irl friends related to shintaro ?? and i think we may have roleplayed lmao and stuff.... she even had a facebook account named shin hikkikomori or smth like that. anyways fast forward bc after being 12 a lot of stuff happened obviously. and none of that relates to kagepro until quite some time. i will mention some items that dont really relate to kagepro but marked moments in my friend group that may be relevant later on. Around 2016)? Some of my closest friends changed schools (but we kept contact) yet i still had a big group at school. But it got fragmented along the way. 2017 i went to Japan and formed a new, different friend group with people that even today, are dear to me. When i came back, my friend group fragmented more. I kept contact with other members of the old group but one on one, not as a group anymore. 2018 we graduated, and i broke up my realtionship with one of my former best friends (2016-2018) 2019 was a year of change, and even though i was afraid and shit got weird, i was not doing too bad. i will skip that. Well. Im sure we all know 2020 was a trainwreck, shit happened. i had a villain arc. I lost my shit,definetely. Ups, downs, whatever. 2021 has not been too different. However, even through everything, in early 2020, i kept close relationships with my friend group. as the year moved forward and the restrictions started lifting ( thank you government very cool <3 //ironically obviously, this is the reason this shit wont go away//) some of my friends saw each other irl and stuff, or talked about stuff i didn´t understand/didn´t want to hear while on discord. I felt alienated. I felt empty. I got mad at a friend for the first time, for something he said. I ended up isolating myself. A friend celebrated her birthday. She invited me and never excluded me, asked me a lot of things and asked to virtually include me. But that would just make me feel more alienated, wouldn´t it? I told her it was ok, i didn´t go. Honestly, I felt like a bother. I didn´t want to bother. I wasn´t okay, but i didn´t want to bother anyone, so i isolated myself. I had a very bad breakdown. lasted weeks. When I recovered, it wasn´t the same. It felt like everyone else was closer, while i drifted away. I kind of recconected with some of my friends from Japan after this. In the vacations, i felt like i reconnected with some friends just to drift away again later. However, i never could reconnect with one of my best friends. She never really got mad at me or anything ( i think) but we don´t really talk much anymore. We used to talk daily, be it actual talking, memes, anything. I don´t think we´ve actually talked in weeks. There´s nothing I can do. This year, another friend had a birthday, but I was so disconnected from everyone I didn´t even care. I mean. It´s all broken now, isn´t it? The other day I just started wondering. When did I start relating to Shintaro so much? I had always been like this, hadn´t I? Who am I, actually? Why do I relate so much now? It´s not just about the soda. I had lost friends before, but I never really felt like that. Sometimes I feel like I´ve lost everyone. In a one year span I became a hikkikomori. About a month ago, when I entered classes, I was recognized as Shintaro pfp and I admitted to kinning him to people i´d never talked to before (on chat) // I decided to go apeshit idc anymore about what anyone thinks of me// I had fun. I think I must´ve posted on my stories, because two different people told me they were the ene to my shintaro. I appreciated it. i mean it´s kinda true bc now that i´m only on the pc they do bother me online and try to get me to open up or get better but sometimes the just annoy me lmao but also not bc they all have their own particular lives and they all seem to be doing better than me. Still, my classmates are very nice and inclusive. But it´s not like im close to any of them I guess. I´m just alone now. I´m fucked up man....I don´t feel real anymore. I don´t really know who I am. I guess that´s why I find comfort in seeing a part of myself in Shintaro? But when did i turn out like this? Why didn´t I relate when I was younger? Well, I hadn´t really lost any friends back then. I now know how painful that is. How lonely it is to be alone even when there is people around. idk. and i´ve always been quiet. introverted. shy. a loser. yet now whenever i meet anyone i try to idk connect? but i cant. i wish i could be more evil. maybe it´d just be easier if everyone really, truly hated me. maybe i´d get the strength to actually kill myself then. it´s weird. i really see myself in route xx shintaro. I know that´s fucked up because I know how it ends. but truly, i was trying. I was healing, i think i was going somewhere. and i was trying to keep my newly formed renovated friend group together. I really was trying to. I didn´t mind if we had sub groups on the big group, but we were all there for each other. I tried my best. I felt like i belonged. but now im alone again. and this time there´s nothing i can do. if something, i´ve made it worse. and i keep making it worse. it´s weird. when i first got into kagepro, both shintaro and ayano felt like adults. i thought they were really, really big. im older than them now. now i know theyre not really adults. i get it. i still feel 18. after all, these last two years have been taken away from me. i didnt waste them myself this time. i feel like a rotten 18 year old...when i listen to lost time memory, i just...get it. i always liked the song. i thought the story was so cool. when it first came out.. i still remember. iwas there. i waited for it. i loved it. i still do, but back then, i just saw it all as some really great and cool song. now i feel like i really, really get it. i love it even more. im hiding away in all my memories. but what is my true heart? what do i really want? i don´t know, i don´t know... If I'm 'wise' then, I can't face forward; I have no reason to so, I'll rot away instead It would be nice if time could be turned back. Years may pass but I'll never die I repeat hopeful words to myself, even though I know I still won't be able to reach you. "It doesn't matter, just die already!" I said as I clutched my wrist, simply cursing it. Unable to do anything, I merely indulged myself in life. "If summer can show me dreams, then let's go to before you were taken away" The days where I hid my embarrassment are illuminating upon the atmosphere and burning my mind. If I'm wishing for a dream that can't come true, then I'll embrace this blurry past and have a dream which I don't wake up from and naturally seclude myself from the outside world. "But that means you can't even see tomorrow?" I don't really care 'bout that, so it's ok I stained my hands in order to kill these boring days I'm choosing "solitude" after all A rotten boy at 18 today too, prayed again while clinging on to your colored smile Underneath the blazing sun Asking "Somehow, please take me away instead of leaving like this!" and my murmuring breath was quietly stopped

I guess i just wish someone could actually help me. take me out of this hole. Maybe some kind of closure would be nice. It´s not the same, though. I don´t have enough bravery in myself to actually kill myself. Mostly because of guilt. I can´t take the guilt of dissapointing everyone. I don´t want my parents to get hurt. I don´t want my bunny to miss me. Yet i wish everyday for it to be over. Lately, half of my dreams have been in Japan, with many friends, some who i met there, some who have never been there. Yet my brain shows me the dreams before it was all taken away. I think one of my favorite parts of the day is dreaming. I like to sleep simply because I dream. And i sleep very few. mayb bc i hate myself? I still barely indulge in life. I do anything to stay distracted. If i think, it all goes to shit. it all does. like now. Heh. it´s funny. I guess no one is truly my ene, because no one actually knows how mentally fucked up i got these past months. No one knows how badly i´ve been treating myself and how badly i´ve been doing. Still, i can´t tell anyone but scream it into the tumblr void. No one has to keep up with my shit. No one has to take care of me. After all, it was I who chose solitude. It was me who kept them away. But I don´t get a second choice. I don´t get a change of routes if things go sour. And i guess I don´t get to get a mentally fucked up friend group where I belong for a second time. Once was good enough, wasn´t it? I.. Even when I wasnt as deep as i am now (again) into kagepro, ive always wanted to die on August 15. It holds meaning to me now as well. Every year I used to ask people to go out with me that day. I know im not brave enough to kill myself. I always hoped for a lil miracle i guess. Last year was the first year...I didn´t do anything. I just... I just hope this year i can make it. I hope the miracle happens this year....I can only hope......its too late for me to be saved, isn´t it? I never thought it´d be like this. I don´t get closure. I don´t get goodbyes. I am left behind on a world that keeps moving. I am nothing.

#long post #hinatalks #we live in a society #fr fr #when i die....if god is real..i´ll end this once and for all. all of it #i am left with nothing but pain and anger.... i cant even feel anymore. i think i forgot how to

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hollandsmushroom · 5 years

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Hey, I was wondering if I could request an imagine? I like number 65 and 57 with Ashton and can it be a long fluff angst imagine please xx

57. “I just never expected it to be you,”, 65. “Why are you calling at 3 a.m.,”

I liked this one, comment what you think, babes!!

As always, if you don’t like it, tell me and I will happily write it again for you

It was late at night, or was it early in the morning, either way, the in-between time where its dark and nighttime but its technically morning. Your back bolt up right, resting against the harsh wood of the headboard, toes pressing into the soft mattress as they curled in tension. Unable to sleep, your thoughts running at 100s of miles per through your relationship, the sleeping body next to you no longer felt a as a warm loving presence, he felt like he had long since been done with you but was too scared to say it, he truly was a kind man, but you needed answers.

You rolled over, face to face with the man you were still desperately in love with but you are pretty sure he no long reciprocates those feelings. You yearn to reach out and touch him, to trace his tattoos on his exposed forearms, for him to wake up and pull you into his muscular chest and tell you that he loves you, but you know he wont. You clock is the only thing signaling the passing of time in the room, the silence heavy and dark, one that you are scared to break for fear of what will happen afterwards. You contemplated, counting your breaths to maintain composure, could you do this now, at 3 a.m., could you find out that the man you want forever with doesn’t want it with you, never truly did.

You decided that you couldn’t wait. Too many sleepless nights lost to the uncertainty that was constant between the sheets and you couldn’t do it for one more night. Reaching out to poke his sleeping figure hesitantly, he stirred slightly but didn’t wake, reaching out to poke him again, this time you were successful in rousing him from his slumber.

“Hmm,” he groaned, rolling over and looking at you, eyebrows raising at your wide awake state “Whats going on babe?” he asked, his voice gravely from lack of use

“We need to talk,”

“Can’t it wait till morning,” he rolled over, attempting to fall back asleep

“No, Ash it can’t,” your serious tone making him roll over again

“What do you want to talk about,” you realized that you couldn’t beat around the bush

“Do you love me anymore?” his eyebrows raised at your bluntness, scootching up the bed till he was sat up and looking at you, he ran his hand through his tousled curls.

“You really wanna talk about this right now,” his hesitation to respond told you the answer, but you had to here him say it

“Yes, Ashton, please just tell me the truth,”

“I did, I really did,” you started crying, and his instinct was to reach out to you, but you flinched back “Y/n I am sorry, I am so so sorry,”

“I always knew someone would break my heart, I just never expected it to be you,”

“Y/n, I am sorry, I just don’t love you anymore,”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

You gasped, shooting up in bed, looking over to the empty space in your bed, tears falling from your eyes, destroyed sobs tearing through your body before you remembered something that made your heart stop, the sad sobs turned into joyous ones. Reaching out your phone that laid charging on your nightstand, turning it on, the harsh illumination hurting your dark adjusted eyes, the screen a picture of you and your love, Ashton. A smile spreading across your still teary cheeks at fact it really was just a dream.

Though the fact it was but a dream was obvious now, you still craved his voice, for him to tell you just how much he loved you instead of what the version of him in his nightmare said. Simply remembering the words that were spoken in your dream made a sob emit from your throat at your pressed dial.

“Babe, why are you calling at 3 a.m.?” his voice laced strongly with sleep, his use of his pet name caused another sob to emit from your throat, you here sheets readjusting before he spoke again, “Baby, are you okay, are you safe, whats wrong?” the sleep that had previously been present in his voice had been ultimately replaced with concern

“I-I had a dream,”

“Aw, baby, what was it about that got you so upset,”

“You told me you didn’t love me,”

“Baby-girl, I can assure you that that is never going to happen,”

“Can you say it, can you say that you love me,” you didn’t wanna be needy but you needed to hear it

“Y/n, I love you so much, and thats never gonna change,”

“I am sorry Ash, I am sorry that I bothered you,”

“You can always bother me, babe, even if its about something as silly as me ever stopping loving you,” you let out a teary laugh

“I should let you go back to sleep, Ash,”

“It’s all right, I will stay on until you fall asleep,”

“G’night Ash, I love you,”

“Goodnight Y/n, I love you too, more than you will ever know,”

__Taglist__

@mylilbreadstick @cthoodsthetic @isabella10028 @dont-drop-that-lunchable@moancurly @numberonepoetryexpert @heartbreak-5sos

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meganthefierce · 6 years

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Gals and Mandem, I need your advice. Pt. 2

The Chronicles of Evan

Sup. Sorry this is a long one but you need to know ALL OF THE DETAILS so you can give me good advice. Just read it please, for me xx

Now... some of that last paragraph Pt.1 is a bit false. Well, it was true until a couple of days ago. That’s when Evan became a problem.

So Evan is a friend of a friend. I’ve met him before at a house party and I really got on with him. I felt some attraction towards him but that was because he was hella sweet and really pretty. Anyway, Evan and I really got on, but he’s super chill and gets on with everyone, so I didn’t think much into it. Plus Tyler was at this party so I was a lil bit distracted by that elephant. I didn’t think I wanted Evan, I just really wanted to be his friend because I really liked being around him and spending time with him. I was just so interested in everything he did and had to say. We hung out like twice in a group whilst he visited. Then he went home and I never saw him again. That was a couple of months ago.

Well this weekend I went to a festival and he was there, so he and a few others stayed at my flat. Before they all turned up, I got a message from my bestie saying “Just a heads up, Evan thinks you’re hot.” So I was like “What am I supposed to do with this information?” and she said “Nothing. Just letting you know. Just incase this weekend you wanted to make a move, I’m just letting you know he’s down.” My first reaction was to think “He doesn’t like me, he just wants to fuck me, our friends have probably mentioned how much of a slut I am and he think’s he can have a drunk fuck after this festival.” And then I thought “No, it’s worse, he’s jumping on the grenade because we are the only 2 people going who aren’t a couple/sleeping with each other and he’s taking one for the team.” So I was not thrilled by this news. THEN HE SHOWS UP My lord, I don’t know what happened, but Jesus christ this boy was fine. He was pretty when I met him, but now for some reason he looked better. Like a sexy, rugged, thug kinda look but with hippie vibes. He’s a Brighton boy so I’m hoping you know what I mean. Then the cunt takes his jumper off and he’s wearing a thin vest gym thing top underneath and WOOOOOW this boy is ripped. I thought he was skinny but hell fucking no he isn’t. He’s jacked. Very fucking nice body. It was so embarrassing I was just starring at him like !!!!!!!! I even accidentally said something out loud! I was like *looking at his arms and chest* “Wow! [this is when I realised I was being obvious and needed to play it cool] look how tanned you are! Where did you get that?” So dead. Anyway we go to this festival and he is a sweetheart all day. He’s nice to everyone but we spent a lot of time together. Every time I ask if I look alright he’d tell me I look lovely and he was giving me cigarettes even though I had my own etc. Just being really generous and sweet. Then we meet this stranger called Amy (SHOUT OUT OT AMY IF YOU EVER SOMEHOW READ THIS I LOVE YOU, YOU WERE A HOOT) and she jumps on the “you two are so sweet, you should get together” bullshit. So Evan and I play a long like “omg Amy you’re right. We should be together, he’s actually in love wth me.” Then we start telling everyone we’re getting married and Amy is going to be our maid of honour because she got us together at this festival etc. So there’s romantic banter and a lot of flirting but it’s all harmless. Then Amy tells me to kiss him. I say no because I was embarrassed. She tells Evan to kiss me. He says yes straight away but more like a “yeah mate I’ll do it” and I got the kind of vibe that it was a dare and he was only doing it because Amy told him to. But anyway, I agree and we have a lil smooch in the crowd to Andy C (such a good set btw) and then we carry on with the night. At one point he protected me from a boy hitting on me with the “tHiS iS mY bOyFrIeNd” card but I would have done that with anyone. But Evan made me feel good. He put me on his fucking shoulders! I’m not a small or skinny gal! He lifted me up so many times and I felt so good! It was a really sick moment for me. And I was hella impressed at how ripped and strong he was. NGL I was a lil bit more attracted to him because of it.

Then we get home and of course everyone bed hops because festivals equal intoxication and that means sex. So Evan and I end up in the same bed. But we stay up talking all night. He’s the coolest, sweetest person and we have more in common than I thought, and the things we don’t have in common aren’t massive things that would bother me. I want to be more like Evan. He’s just the best. He sent me loads of links to spoken word poetry and we spoke about family, what we’re scared of, how we both suffer with bad anxiety, travelling (He’s traveled the world), music, etc. He’s just so cool and he makes me want to be cooler, but not in a shitty way.

THIS IS THE CUTE PART I HOPE YOU’RE STILL READING

Then we try to go to sleep. He opens his arms out and invites me for a cuddle. THIS MAN IS THE BEST CUDDLER IVER EVER BEEN CUDDLED BY. It was heaven. He’s so nice to lay with. He tickled my back and played with my hair. It was so nice. We fidget a bit and try to get comfortable and he moves his face RIGHT IN FRONT OF MINE so our lips are parallel. I thought maybe he was going to kiss me again but then NOTHING. Nothing happened. I was waiting. Nothing. So I thought, maybe technically he’s made the first move with the cuddle and technically leaning in. So I kiss him. Yeah mate I did. Yay me for being confident. He kisses me back and it’s gooooooood. He’s a lovely kisser. Then I get a lil bit too excited and then I got a bit freaked out because I’m a nervous anxious wreck and I just stop and pull away and bury my head in his chest. He giggled a bit and lifted my head back up so our lips are really close again, but he doesn’t kiss me. I’ve now used all the courage I had so I’m not kissing him again. But I wanted to hint that I wanted him to kiss me. So I bought up the Amy Kiss in a teasing way, “Remember when you kissed me earlier” kinda thing. I know, my game is weak and I’m so embarrassed but please understand how FINE this boy is. He banters back with the ol “you seemed to enjoy it” kinda crap and we both lay there telling each other how nice it is to kiss the other person. STILL NO KISS FROM HIM. I’m now paranoid as fuck and I’m convinced he doesn't like me like that because clearly he’d make a move. Or maybe he does like me but he’s too tired and I didn’t want to make a move on HIM and then he doesn’t retaliate or something. Fear of rejection is one of my biggest fears. So I give up and we start falling asleep. But this guy wont stop cuddling me. If I roll over, we spoon, If I face him, he faces me and wraps himself around me. If I shuffle down, he pulls me on his chest and tickles my back. It was so nice.

I wake up in the morning and it’s exactly the same, but more. More cuddles, more chatting, more tickling, etc. Even more kissing. He kisses my neck, my forehead, my nose (in a cute funny way, not a wired way) and we make out quite a bit. Every now and then he’ll attempt to get up for the day but struggle and just lay his head on my chest and complain about how he doesn’t want to leave. We stayed in bed ALL morning just cuddling an kissing, for about 3 hours. Every time someone came in to get something or talk to us he wouldn’t even flinch. He’d just carry on cuddling me and stay put. Not embarrassed. Not caring what people thought. It was wild to me.

Then he gets offered a spoons breakfast and a coffee. I’m thinking “Who the fck doesn't want that, of course he’s going” but he hesitates. I say I’m not going and he tells our friend “Na mate, I’ve got food here. I’ll give this a miss.” and just rolls back over and lays with me!!!! WTF how can a boy with a hangover turn down a spoons breakfast to lay with a girl he hasn't even had sex with?! Because he didn’t even have food at mine, he was lying!

Anyway. Everyone goes to breakfast and we’re now alone in the hose. We start kissing again. He starts tickling me again but not the cute relaxing kind... the teasing, “let me touch your skin” kind. You know the difference- don’t pretend you don’t. I’m now trying my hardest to hint that I want him. I’m gasping, I’m pulling him closer, I’m clawing at his skin (that sounds weird but in a sexy way I swear! It aways works). And this is all working. We’re making out more, everything’s more passionate, his dick is rock hard which is always a good sign, and it’s just going in the direction I want it to. Then the door goes. People are back. We slowly stop kissing and just start cuddling again. He tells me I have nice lips and he likes kissing me, then sits up and pulls the cover over his lap to hide his dick. Our pal walks in with a coffee he bought for Evan, and it’s clear we’re getting up for the day. I was gutted. I lost the opportunity. He gets ready and we all chill with the group, discuss the day before and look at photos etc. Then he goes back to Brighton. It’s all over until the next time I see him, and I have no idea when that will be, and what will happen then. HERE’S WHY I NEED ADVICE

I can’t stop thinking of the twat. I’m literally obsessing over him. I can’t stop. LOOK HOW MUCH I WROTE ABOUT HIM ON A FUCKING TUMBLR POST?!

I haven’t even looked at a boy since Tyler, and now I’m obsessing over Evan. He’s so good looking and so sweet and so respectful. I don’t know what to do.

Because I don’t think I have a chance, so I need to cut this out. I can’t obsess over Evan the way I have with Tyler. But Evan is the first boy to stop me thinking about Ty. Don’t get me wrong, when I get messages from Tyler my heart still flutters, and I smile when he sends me snaps and stuff. I know there’s still something there for him and that’s not gone. But I’m thinking about Evan. A LOT. All I want to do is go to bloody Brighton to see Evan. For at least some sex. Minimum. I’m so mad we didn’t do it. I’m gutted Evan and I can’t be a thing because I think I really like him. Even if he could never be a romantic relationship, I just want him as a friend because he’s so cool.

But I’ve only met him a few times and we’ve only shared one night like this together. The relationship between Tyler and I, and Evan and I, are very very different. Yet I am obsessed with both of them.

I don’t know what to do.

What shall I do? About both guys. Help a bitch out.

#Evan #help ya girl out #long post #need advice

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myemptiestvoid · 4 years

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brain dump

entire post will be one big ramble because thats what i do best.

today i woke up and i’m not okay because my brain sucks and it broke again so i am going to type until the urge of wanting to kill myself and/or hurt myself disappears. i dont understand why this happens. i dont know how to explain it to anybody but it fucking sucks.

i dont understand how one day, everything is completely fine and im happy, im okay and in the matter of like... what 8 hours? i wake up and everything is going to fucking shit in my mind. its harder because i really dont think anybody can fully comprehend the way i feel whenever i get like this so i just rather not talk. sulk in my own silence and cry until i cant cry anymore.

overall, im happy but im not happy. and im not sure if that even makes sense because its hard to explain. am i the happiest ive been in a while? yes. i can absolutely say this and agree to that thought. but on a mental spectrum i dont think im happy. if i was, i wouldnt feel like this.

i want nothing more than to just disappear from everything and exist in my own realm. i feel like i am a burden to a lot of people and everyone has pity for me because i cant manage to keep myself grounded or ok for more than a week and its annoying. i hate feeling like this. i hate feeling like im bothering people. i just want everything to be okay and im not sure if thats ever going to be a thing.

the one thing im good at is running from my problems and avoiding how i feel and thats probably the unhealthiest coping mechanism ive developed. some days i want to relapse, which is kinda fucked. i relapsed once this year and felt like this about it because i threw away 3 solid years of sobriety, started over but since that day ive just wanted to do it again. the one thing i can remember about that period was feeling nothing and although it felt weird to feel nothing it also felt really fucking great. it felt good not having to deal with anything and just being numb to everything around me. it felt good just existing and not caring about shit because i was way too high to give a damn about it. being sober has made me realize how bad things are./

i try my best but i feel like my best isnt enough. my best isnt doing anything beneficial for me. i am in a never ending cycle of wanting to end my entire existence day in and day out. i am in a never ending cycle of wanting to split myself open until i bleed out. and it scares me because i really feel like one day ill do it. one day i wont have control over anything im feeling and thats going to be the day it happens. and nobody will be there to help me because ive learned over time what id have to do in order for nobody to find me in that position to stop it.

the older i get, the more i remember. i dont like that. i wish i didnt have to remember anything bad that happened to me or that i was lucky enough like paris to just.. push all of that so far back in my head it never happened. i resent my mom for a lot of it because in the grand scheme of things its really her fault. she let all of that happen to me and here i am today, dealing with it. by myself. because im too scared to open up about what really happened to me growing up. and even if i did she wouldnt care because she continues to deny everything. the way things work is just weird. i dont get how someone can deny the way they make you feel or guilt trip you for feeling that way. im happiest when im away from her. and it sucks because thats my mom but i dont know. i feel like an actual mother wouldnt ever put you in a position to be hurt like that. i remember being little and telling her the things that would happen to me and she never believed me. that sucks. instead of listening to me she just kept putting me in situations that enabled the people around to do it more. instead of listening to me i felt like i had to protect myself against everyone around me. thats probably why im so scared of people now. i feel like everyone is going to do something to me and i dont like living my life like that. i wouldnt be like this or feel any of this if she just listened to me and even then, if she cared for two seconds about someone other than herself to realize how much damage she causes.

i wish i could fix our relationship but i dont think thats going to be a thing and i kinda just started to accept that over the last few weeks. it doesnt matter what i do for her its never going to be enough. her biggest mistake in life was having me out of spite and it shows. i will continue to blame myself for the way she is. i will continue to feel like its my fault. is it true? no. but thats something i cant change. if she was an alcoholic that accepted the fact she was an alcoholic and held herself accountable for the things she does, i think id be less angry about everything. i wouldnt be as upset. but its the fact shes an alcoholic, lying about being an alcoholic, denying the fact that shes an alcoholic that gets under every layer of me to the point im so frustrated about it. i woudnt care if she was open about the issue but she isnt. she hides things like i wont know or like i dont know. but its very obvious. ever since 11/29/18 shes lied day in and day out about her problem. i tried to help but nothing works and i honestly dont care to help anymore.

i am selfless. a little too selfless. im selfless to the point that im willing to put my own needs so far behind me in order to help everyone else and then i realize that i am in a deep deep mess of a puddle and i cant get out of it. everything begins to consume me like im standing in quicksand and then it just gets bad. im selfless when it comes to my mom because i just want her to be ok. i want her to be happy. but shes happiest whenever shes drunk and i cant change that. thats what i have to accept. but its a lot easier to say that than it is to actually accept it.

i dont know what to do and its frustrating me.

brain is fairly empty and that feeling isnt there anymore but im probably going to end up feeling like that again so more brain dumps. at the end of the day i just need to stop overthinking and probably do something more productive to help myself.

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martian-m · 7 years

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MY GIRL?

Pairing : Veronica Lodge x Reader

Warning: bashing of reggie mantle

A/N: hope you guys like it! I love Reggie but I had to pick a guy who needed to be the ‘bad guy’ huhu pls forgive me

MY REQUESTS ARE STILL OPEN YO

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You usually hate waking up early in the morning because why the fuck does school start at 7 am?!?! Such unjustice that has been going on since forever. Shaking your head from going further into your rant every morning which causes you to become late, you get out of bed to hit the shower and be somewhat early to fetch Veronica since you live 3 blocks away from her.

Checking the time, you have 30 minutes to eat, shower, and change. 15 minutes to get to school with Veronica in your Dodge Challenger. You smile remembering that raven haired goddess. Shaking your head again to refrain from drifting into the daydream of you and V.

You always liked timing yourself and all since it helped you get ready fast for some reason.

——-VxR——-

Looking in the mirror, you had your ripped jeans on, black adidas NMD kicks, plain white V neck, and lastly your leather jacket from your dad who passed away 3 years ago. This was the main reason why you control your emotions, to not feel the pain so much. Closing your eyes for a moment while breathing slowly you open them again and reach for your phone to text V.

[To: Ronnie L.] Hey V, I’m about to head to your place be ready in 2 mins :)

[From: Ronnie L.] See you! xx

You smile after seeing the “xx”. Pocketing your phone and reaching for your keys you grab a container filled with mixed fruit for V and yourself. You kiss your mom on the head before you head out.

——-VxR——-

Parked outside the building of V’s place you count to 5 and as you reach by 5 you see the raven haired beauty making your way. You get out the car and open the passenger side for her to sit in, she smiles and rolls her eyes at you since this happens EVERYDAY. Ever since you became friends through Betty.

You get in the driver’s side and put on your seatbelt with V mimicking you. You look at her handing the container with the mixed fruits smirking at how eagerly she accepted it.

“Ready to go to Hell we call Riverdale High?” You snicker.

“But of course!” sarcasm laced into her voice as she rolled her eyes while popping a strawberry into her mouth.

It was a routine. You wake up, get ready, get food for you and V, fetch her and she feeds you while you drive to school, attend class, be on the same breaks and go home together after class. That simple but it meant the world to you to be with her everyday, you just had trouble conveying your feelings to her and basically anyone except Betty Cooper since she understands you a lot and knows about your feelings for V.

You were deep in thought that you didnt notice the sliced apple next to your face until you felt a hand on your thigh. You jumped at the contact slightly swerving the car, thank God there werent any cars next to you. Looking at V she smirked at you while you narrowed your eyes at her while taking the apple she held up to you with your mouth. She laughed as your face heated up.

——-VxR——-

Calculus was slowly killing you with boredom and the fucking equations you couldn’t understand. About to give up you glance 2 desks to your right just to look at V, yknow cos maybe her beauty might save your soul from suffering the endless shit your calculus teacher was saying, only to find V looking at her phone before pocketing it and look very VERY upset.

There are three things people in Riverdale High know to NEVER do.

1) Never mention your father or family if you don’t bring it up yourself 2) Never pick on your friends 3) Never hurt Veronica

It was very simple yet you could feel your blood starting to boil while some jocks start to muffle their laughs while looking at V with Reggie Fucking Mantle look smug as if he won the lottery.

As soon as the bell rang, you approached V who was still seated as if not appearing to have noticed the bell ring signaling the end of class. You touched her arm but was shocked to see her flinch away from you. So you kneeled next to her as soon as the last student left the room and took her hands in yours.

“Hey, what’s wrong? What and who is bothering my hepburn?”

She couldn’t even look at you but at your hands only, taking a deep breath she slowly faced you with a smile that could deceive anyone and everyone, except you of course. You saw the sadness and hurt swimmimg in her eyes. It made your heart ache know she is hurting BUT it also made your blood boil in finding who the fuck hurt your girl.

——-VxR——-

You were basically on the hunt. Harrassing some of the jocks on the whereabouts of Reggie Fucktard Mantle (((you cant help but loathe his being))) after him cheating and hurting V, you never liked the boy. You weren’t getting any info from the jocks since they most likely ran away from you. In Riverdale High your temper has been known to never be messed with.

You were so close to fucking flip when you saw Moose. You quietly crept up behind him and slammed him against the lockers with all you might and fury. Pinning him down and gazing at him with anger that he froze on the spot.

“Moose my boy. I haven’t got all day to chit chat and to be nice, so please cooperate with me so I wont break your nose. Yes? You smiled you shark smile at him and he agreed in less than a second.

——-VxR——-

You found where Reggie was and you brought Moose with you. You reached at the back of the bleachers to see that Reggie the Steroid Limp Dick was making out with one of the Vixens. Rolling your eyes you lifted your foot from the ground and kicked it against the steel garbage can creating a loud bang and dent. The two sprang apart from the noise. I told Moose to take the Vixen and leave which he quickly accomplished. Now, I was left alone with Reggie.

“So I’m just gonna cut the bullshit and ask what you did to Veronica”

The tension was so think you could cut it with a knife, Reggie visibly shaken had the lady balls to answer back, “What’s it to you (y/l/n)?”

I cracked my knuckles at the question and faked my laugh, “you see Reginald…after you majorly fucked up with the person I care and love most, I vowed to myself that no one will ever hurt her while I am still alive and breathing, and since you unmistakeably made her mood plummet I’m just gonna follow-through with the vow I made to myself..go on ask what is it”

“What’s you-”

I launched my fist on his face which led to chaos and flying fists to ensue.

——-VxR——-

Walking back in the cafeteria, everyone became silent given my appearance. Busted lip, cut on jaw and corner of your eyebrow with a swelling of your fists and black eye. You searched with your good eye where the gang was. You found them and gladly brought out Reggie with nothing on but his boxers on into the cafeteria. In the same state as to how you were in with the injuries but with him losing multiple tooths. You turned him around to let everyone read the pentel pen writing on his back.

’ I BODY-SHAMED VERONICA LODGE BECAUSE I HAVE A LIMP DICK AND AM NOT SECURE WITH MYSELF AS A MAN ’

You waited for a moment before you let your voice boom in the cafeteria,

“IF ANY OF YOU DARE TO HURT MY GIRL, VERONICA LODGE, I WILL MAKE YOU SUFFER THE SAME WAY MANTLE DID SO DONT FUCKING TEST ME-”

You felt a soft hand on you shoulder and looked to the owner of the hand and saw Veronica pleading with her eyes to let it go. So you take a deep breath and walked to mantle.

“Say you're sorry to Veronica for what you did and I will let you go”

——-VxR——-

After the whole chaotic day of being in detention, going to the hospital for your fractured hand plus stitches on you eyebrow, and curving the suspension since you defended a student. You relaxed against the plush couch of Pop’s with the gang as Veronica sat next to you under your good arm leaning into you as you shared your chocolate smoothie. Suddenly she looked at you with a smirk and glint in her eyes and asked,

“So I’m your girl huh?”

#veronica lodge #betty cooper #jughead jones #archie andrews #veronica lodge x reader #betty cooper x reader #cheryl blossom #cheryl blossom x reader #riverdale #homo #jughead jones x reader #archie andrews x reader #veronica imagine

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peanott · 7 years

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92 Questions

@useless--mind thanks for tagging me bud!! i love doing these even if no one gives a shit

Last:

1. Drink: milk

2. Phone call: with my grandpa

3. Text message: “👀👀👀“

4. Song you listened to: ultra bra - kaunis ja ylpee

5. Time I cried: cant remember the last time i properly cried (its not even a rare occurrence just doesnt pop into my mind wtf) but my eyes got wet like two hours ago bc my sister sent me silly pics with her baby and was just extraordinarily sweet love her :(

Have You:

6. Dated someone twice: no

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: nope

8. Been cheated on: nah

9. Lost someone special: yeah

10. Been depressed: yes

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: unfortunately................

List Three Favorite Colors:

12. violet

13. baby blue

14. orange mayb

In The Last Year Have You:

15. Made new friends: ive got closer with a few people so kinda?

16. Fallen out of love: wtf is this love ya keep talkin bout

17. Laughed until you cried: yes

18. Found out someone was talking about you: hahaha yeah

19. Met someone who changed you: nah

20. Found out who your friends are: in a way? ive not been thinking about this profoundly at all but the way ive perceived some people has strengthened for better and worse which led into new relationship dynamics

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: not on the lips

General:

22. How many Facebook friends do you know in real life: vast majority

23. Do you want to change your name: noo im used to it but at the same time it sometimes hits me that its ACTUALLY my name (its not even anything special i just have confusing thoughts) so it does keep me on my toes and wont get bored of it

24. What did you do for your last birthday: I CANT REMEMBER lmao ok i dont think we celebrated it on my actual birthday at all bc it wasnt practical that way but i had my sisters over the day before

25. What time did you wake up: 7am cause i hate myseldf

26. What were you doing last night at midnight: drinking water at my friends so id sober up bc im a fucking idiot pls slap me thrice dont hate me

27. Name something you can’t wait for: get used to the new school i go to in two days (yea i havent even started yet but i can feel the bricks im shitting for the next month or so)

28. When was the last time you saw your mom: an hour ago?

29. What is the one thing you wish you could change in your life: i wanna be able to enjoy living my life properly and take more risks without worrying all the time

30. What are you listening to right now: partners in crime part three by the internet

31. Have you talked to a person named Tom: no?

32. Most visited website(s): twitter tumblr youtube how generic

Lost Questions:

33. Mole(s): i have three moles (on my temple, under eye, above eyebrow) that form a triangle i was so ecstatic when i discovered this like two years ago

34. Marks: what kind of?? i mean i have stretch marks one from vaccination but thats it i think

35. Childhood dream: either a fashion designer or a housewife lmao

36. Hair color: mYsTiC vIoLeT according to the hair dye idk its hard to describe a dark mix of brown n purple (and red?)

37. Do you have a crush on someone: no

38. What do you like about yourself: that im quite tolerant and considerate of others, how self-aware i am cause thats the only thing that will keep me sane, i can be funny and not take things that seriously but still have extensive opinions and thoughts on everything

39. Piercings: both ears x2

40. Blood type: a(+ i think)

41. Nicknames: vertsi or however you wanna twist it its fine i love it

42. Relationship Status: singley

43. Zodiac Sign: taurus

44. Pronouns: she/her

45. Favorite TV shows: oitnb, lie to me, htgawm, skins, drag race, the get down, black mirror

46. Tattoos: none

47. Right or Left hand: right

48. Surgery: none

49. Hair Dyed A Different Color: ye different variations of brown and purple

50. Vacation: last one was to budapest about three years ago

51. Pair Of Trainers: i stole a pair from my mum idk theyre black and pink or some shit

More Generals:

52. Eating: last time? a croissant

53. Drinking: nothing rn

54. I’m about to: finish this and then go to sleep

55. Waiting for: a pleasant surprise

56. Want: a proper social life

57. Get married: idk i loved my sisters wedding but i wouldnt consider marriage a necessity from a romantic point of view. if i ever get married its probably for the legal stuff and the ceremony will be low-budget and simple

58. Career: probably gonna do something with psychology or languages

Which Is Better:

59. Hugs or Kisses: hugs ?whats a kiss?

60. Lips or eyes: eyes

61. Short or tall: idc!!! ok im kind of intimidated by tall people i feel like they could crush me in a heartbeat but maybe that adds into my excitement

62. Older or younger: older for now at least

63. Nice arms or nice stomach: great the two body parts that barely hold any meaning to me good choice

64. Sensitive or loud: im personally both (ok we gotta debate on the loud part with some people) but i think i value someone that is more likely to understand my own sensitivity so i guess sensitive it is

65. Hook up or relationship: relationship

66. Troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker sounds disgusting but i guess that since they would push my hesitant ass to do some stretching out of my comfort zone

Have You Ever:

67. Kissed a stranger: no

68. Had hard liquor: yes

69. Lost glasses/contact lenses: no

70. Turned someone down: kind of

71. Sex on first date: no

72. Broken someone’s heart: naah

73. Had my heart broken: nope

74. Been arrested: no

75. Cried when someone died: yes

76. Fallen For a Friend: fgjhjh kinda... got over it fast tho cause it was impossible

Do You Believe In:

77. Yourself: No I Do Not Exist We Are Collectively Hallucinating Me

78. Miracles: not really

79. Love at first sight: i believe you can sense if a person is compatible with you BUT ITS NOT LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT YOU ARE JUST A PERCEPTIVE PERSON

80. Santa Clause: obvs my Dad

81. Kiss on the first date: i dont think it has anything to do with belief if it feels right at that moment then do it

82. Angels: um? havent you seen the axe commercial :/

83. Aliens: yes!!

Other Random Things:

84. Current Best Friend’s name: mira

85. Eye color: blue and grey or some shit

86. Favorite Movie: black swan

87. Hold an object dear to you: my phone love being a #relatable millennial

88. Favorite Ice Cream Flavour: vanilla or lemon

89. Least favorite thing: when my clothes fall under my bed and then im too scared to dig them out

90. Name one thing you could change about the world: no social injustice

91. Current Song stuck in your head: i know by fiona apple

92. Favorite Childhood show: powerpuff girls? idk i liked most of the shows from my childhood

jesus christ sorry this is a hot mess made by someone who tries to function at 2am using their second language @nuddy-pants do this xx

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gowalkingdeadimagines · 7 years

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Your choice Princess

SO I made this one again. I wanted to make it more believable. I mean I love to think that Negan would a sweet guy and everyone loves him but come on! Hes the villain, a sexy mofo but there are very little imagines that end with the main character having a realistic reaction. So heres, in my personal opinion a better one Hi I just found your account and I love it !!!! Can I request something daryl Dixon , where you are pregnant with his child - you two are married . And you are chosen for Negan's line up so daryl gets super shouty etc - you can choose the ending xx

d The cold dirt was underneath my knees, my hands wrapped behind my body. I looked over at my husband who was already hurt bad enough to where I was sure he was going to need something medically done to him. He looked at me a few times but didn't say anything other than take a few deep breaths and just think about where we were. I looked at the ground as my heartbeat was pulsing into my throat from the anxiety. This was it… Our group wasn’t going to win this time… We were always the group who would show don't fuck with us. But now… we aren't.

As I felt my mind start to unravel I started to feel my unborn child move. Almost like an automatic reaction I wanted to touch my bump with my hand, but I couldn't. I tried to shift my weight as it was getting uncomfortable to be on such a position while being pregnant. Daryl looked over a me with sympathy. I knew that this was his worst nightmare, me his pregnant wife possibly about to be killed or hurt. We all heard about this Negan that was threatening our group. We had no idea what he was going to do. I hoped that maybe he was once a good man and would see that i’m pregnant. It was a hopeful dream, but I knew that something was going to happen to me.

We were all waiting for him. I knew that everyone's hearts were beating through their chest. I couldn't dare to look at Daryl, knowing that he wasn't worried for himself he was worried for me. I was his everything and I knew that this baby was his all and much more. As I really let my heart and my mind race I heard banging on the camper.

“You all ready to meet the man?” I looked up to see a man with a receding hairline. Then a man with a leather jacket, red scarf and bat came out and walked towards us.

“You all pissing your pants yet?” It was so quiet we could all hear his steps on the ground as he makes his way towards us. He had this smirk on his face, almost like he knew that he was going to get everything that he would want from here on out. He stopped at Rick and started to talk to him. Intimidating him, making sure that he knew that he was the boss. After he was done with Rick he started to pace in front of the group. He stopped in front of me looking at my bump and smirking even more.

“What do we have here?” He growled to himself. I felt Daryl start to worry. “What's your name doll?” I hesitated to answer him but knew that he would make me say it no matter what.

“Y/N..” I said quietly. He smirked and walked the other way.

“Which one of you here knocked up this fine thing?” He laughed to himself turning back to me a few times. I just started at him, he was pretty intimidating. But at this point it didn't matter to me what he looked like.

“Was it you?” He said pointing his bat to Daryl, who looked up from the ground to see the bat with barbed wire wrapped around it. I could tell by the way that Daryl looked Negan knew that Daryl was the father.

“Well fucking shit all mighty. You're the little fucker that knocked up this little beauty.” Negan said as he looked at all his men, then knelt down infront of Daryl. “You see all these people.” His tone then started to get more quiet. “They would love to fuck this little beauty right here. Consider yourself lucky that you fucked her so good that somehow that one sperm got you where you are today.” That was when I saw Daryl lunge at Negan, getting a good punch in at his jaw before his men took him to the ground.

“What the fucking shit you fucking little ass fucking bitch!” He roared as he clenched his jaw. He looked at me and grabbed my arm and made me get up from the ground, practically dragging me. “You want me to fucking kill her because you fucked up!” Daryl looked like a deer in the head lights. Negans grip got tighter then it started to relax.

“Or how about this.” With a firm grip still on me he brought me closer and closer to Daryl, almost like he was taunting him. “I won’t fucking kill you, if, this fine little thing will be my wife.” Darryl froze as soon as he said that. “Think about it, she gets everything and anything that she wants. She will get the best medical care for her and the baby. Come on what's better than that?”

“No I fucking wont! I wont fucking do that!” I screamed at him.

“What else do you have? Hmm surviving on nothing while you got that bastards kid in you? You would rather die than this?” I didn’t say a thing to him. “So little boy what the fuck will it be? Your bitch’s life and kids wife or let me make her happy.” He smirked. Daryl looked at me, knowing that he had to make the deal in order to save me and his unborn child. “Tick tock.”

“Fine” Daryl whispered to Negan.

“Good, see you little fuckers I do have a heart!” Negan took my arm and lead me closer to him. “Now you little lady, don't realize how lucky are.”

“Fuck you.” I looked up at him and spit in his face. Negan pushed me away from him.

“Feisty little bitch aren't you.” He said whipping his face. “We’ll have to fix that won’t we?”

“Never” I said looking at him. I could tell that he was more and more pissed off by what I was saying. “I’ll never be your wife you small dick bastard!” I screamed at him.

“Shut the fuck up, or I swear I’ll smash your baby daddys head in so fast and I swear that it won’t be fast.”

“Listen to him Y/N!” Daryl yelled at me. I wanted to say more to Negan and kill him. But I knew that Negan was serious about doing it to Daryl.

“So what is it Princess? Me or a dead baby daddy?” He said with his bat on his shoulder, he then looked at me with an eyebrow raised. “I’m waiting baby.”

“Fine, I’ll be yo-your wife.” I said looking at the ground and avoiding Negans eyes at all costs.

“That right! Now look at my look at my beautiful ass wife.” Negan went in and kissed me on the cheek, slowly making his way to my mouth. I then balled my hand into a fist but to end up unfitting it knowing that it was going to end up with Daryl being killed. “Get in there baby, and then I’ll show you what Daddy can do.”

3 months later

I was sitting on Negans leather couch waiting for him to come to the bedroom. I wasn’t ok with the fact that Negan took me. My first thought waking up was Daryl and my last was Daryl as well. I hated the fact that I was sleeping next to someone who I didn't love and hated. I wanted nothing more than to sleep next to Daryl and him be part of our baby's life. But I knew that I would be lucky to see him once again or if ever again for that matter. Negan was just a dick, he got what he wanted but it still wasn't happy with what he got. The only good thing about this ‘deal’ was that I didn't have to do anything in order to survive. Because I was his wife along side with Negan I was on top of the food chain. A week after I got here Negan started to collect baby items, he has this whole idea that I would lie to my child that he was in fact our child. And that he was in fact the father of our child. I know for a fact that I’ve pissed off Negan many times to the point where he has screamed in my face. But he’s never gotten physical with me, maybe it's because he didn’t want to hurt me because I’m pregnant or he just didn't want to hurt me. Either way I still didn't see him as being any better because of it.

“Knock Knock.” Negan said as he come through the door with his bat in hand. I didn't say anything to him other that sigh at the fact that this is where my life is going. “Honey I’m home.” He said with a joking tone as he put the bat down by the bed.

“Hi”

“Whats fucking wrong now?” He said before sitting next to me.

“Nothing, nothing is wrong.” I said looking away from him.

“Alright fucking then.” He let us sit there in silence for a few minutes but then started another conversation with me. There was no way that I could try to ignore him, I’ve tried it before but he would just get louder and louder. “I got some more shit for the kid.” He got up and then handed me the clothes. I looked at them, they were pretty thoughtful things that he got.

“Thanks, that was- uh nice of you to think about me.”

“See I’m not a just a fucking dick like you think that I am.” I didn't say anything back to him knowing that what I would say was going to piss him off. “So what has my very very pregnant wife been doing all day?” He emphasized the very because the doctor said I was at least a week overdue and boy could you tell.

“Just getting ready.” I sighed a little putting my hand on my enormous belly.

“You know I sure know of one way that will get my son out of you.” I knew what he was getting at.

“Not gonna happen.”

“Come on, we’re gonna have to have to seal the marriage sometime.” He said crossing his fingers. “You think that I don't want a kid of my own with you? With your beauty and my brain's Y/N we could make a pretty good looking and badass kid.”

“Fuck you Negan. Let me fucking go back to Daryl!” He got pissed at my comment.

“Fuck! Fuck, what does it take for you to fucking accept that you're here?”

“I don't want to be here what does that take? I'm fucking pregnant! If I wasn't then maybe I would accept it but I'm having another man's baby!”

“Get used to it bitch! What I say goes around here. Do you not realize how fucking lucky you are? I’m protecting your fucking ass every day! You think that you would be able to survive outside? I bring you every fucking thing that you need for this kid! Fucking christ! You have been fed better than you probably have since this shit! I'm not making you have sex with me! Your kid will be raised better than what anyone could offer! Fucking get that straight!” He yelled at me, making me think for a second. Even though this was probably the best thing that could have happened for this baby and my health it didn't change that the baby's father wasn't here. And won't be at the birth. “I’m fucking going out.”

I sat on the bed carefully laying back on the mountain of pillow that were piled up for me. I haven't been able to sleep very well since all this shit happened. Every night I had to sleep next to Negan. Just sitting next to him made me want to throw up, I hated that I was sleeping next to the enemy. Just staring at the ceiling I rubbing my bump, maybe I wanted to die in childbirth. But I knew that if I did was going to leave behind my baby only to be taken are, maye, by Negan or one of his ‘wives’. With my mind wandering all over the place I started to feel my eyes start to fall.

A sudden sting in my back woke me up. I raised up from the bed to see Negan sleeping next to me. I tried to be quiet as I could while trying to breathe through the pain. The pain subsided but I knew that this was the real thing. I carefully got up and made my way to the bathroom, holding my bump knowing that I was going to have this baby today or tomorrow. When I entered the bathroom I closed the door behind me. I looked down at my bump, when I had Daryl next to me I was actually excited to have this baby. He made me feel so secure with his arms wrapped around me. Just before all this shit happened he was able to feel the baby move on the outside for the first time.

“Ok, I know that you’re going to come today or tomorrow. Do me a favor, come easily. I really hope that your a girl…” I knew that if I had a boy Negan would make sure that he would make him into a mini me. He wasn’t going to really be fazed by having a girl, other than to hold the fact that he had me and the baby over Daryl's head. I heard a knock on the door right as I started a contraction.

“Yea?” I said in a the middle of it.

“What the fuck are you doing?” He said in a groggy tone.

“Hold on.” I said trying to breathe through the contraction. As soon as I finished I opened the door to find Negan whipping his eyes trying to keep himself awake. “What Negan?”

“Why are you up this early?”

“I’m over due with a kid, I have to pee.” I said carefully walking past him.

“Ok fucking then. When do you think that you're going to pop out that kid?” He said as he sat down on the bed letting out a sigh.

“Today or tomorrow.” I said leaning against the headboard. It took him a few seconds for him to realize what I was saying.

“What?”

“You heard me. I’m in labor.”

“Fuck.” Negan shot right up and looked like a deer in the head lights. “Fuck fuck!”

“Did you forget that this was going to happen?” I said as I started another contraction

“A little.” He said under his breath.

“Take me to the fucking doctor!” I said holding my stomach.

“Fine come on let's go then.” He said opening the door.

On our way over to the doctors I was really starting to feel it. I had a feeling that this was going to happen soon. I wanted to cry not only from the pain but from the fact that Daryl isn't here. That I was going to have the enemy next to me while I give birth. Negan helped me into the doctors but I hated the fact that he touched me.

“Doc! We got a baby coming!” The doctor ran out from wherever he was. And escorted us to a small room. He didn't dare say anything to Negan for a few minutes. “Are you going to help?”

“Yes, I need her to sit down on the bed so I can check over her.” I carefully got onto the bed, the doctor then helped me with taking off my pants. “I’m going to check to see how dilated you are.” He said before putting a glove on and then entering his finger in me. “You're almost seven centimeters.” I nodded my head as I started another. “There isn't anything that I can give you for the pain unfortunately, looks like we will have to do it like the good old days.”

“Ok..” I said before I moaned a little from the amount of pressure that was starting to build up.

“Thanks doc.” Negan said while walking him out. He pulled up a chair to be next to me. “You know I never thought that I would be here. Having a sexy ass wife give birth to my baby.” I didn't say anything to him. I didn't care about the sly remarks that he was saying. I knew that I had to be focused on giving birth to the one person that needs me the most. I tried to be focused on giving birth. But then I thought for a second to make my life a little easier, I knew that Negan would probably be wrapped around my little finger if I was a decent person to him. He needed something to come home to and know that it would be there. It didn't matter how he got them, he needed something to love and he got a full package, a woman and a baby on the way, a perfect fantasy for him.

“Negan?” I said a little sweet.

“What?” He said a little surprised that I even talked to him.

“Can you get me a cold wash cloth please?”

“Yea I’ll be right back.” I waited for him to come back with the contractions coming closer and closer together. I had a feeling that this would be a really fast labor and I was right. “Got you a cold wash cloth.” He said handing me it. I was about to say something when I felt something rip through my stomach.

“You need to get the doctor now!” He did just as I said and the doctor came rushing through the door. He checked me and then made a small smile.

“I think you're ready to meet your baby. “

“I think I am too” I said lightly patting my belly, I saw Negan chuckle a little to himself.

“Alright on the count of three I want you to start pushing.” I nodded and as soon as he started to count down I started to push. It seemed like hours of me pushing with nothing in return. Then I felt the head start to come. By now Negan was holding at one of my legs and looked down. I hated knowing that he was looking but I didn't care, it was bound to happen at one point.

“Fuck!”

“Your doing great your crowning!” The doctor said. “You need to push!”

“I am fucking pushing!” I yelled at the doctor.

“The head it out!” I could sure fucking feel it. “One more big push!” I then screamed out from the pain. And that's when I felt him place the baby on my chest.

“Hi sweet baby.” I cooed at it. I then got the state of mind to look at its gender. I saw that it was a boy.

“It's a boy!” Negan exclaimed. Tears were rolling down my eyes from excitement and disappointment. I couldn't let him go or stop staring at him. The more that I did the more that I realized how much he looked like Daryl, he had his eyes, hair color,and nose. It was almost like looking at his twin. Which made me more and more sad that he missed it, that he wasn’t here with me. I knew that I had to pretend that I was somehow in love with Negan in order to maybe get back to Daryl. But I knew that it would be hard to hold my tongue and temper. “What should we name him dollface?”

“Merle”

“Weird name but sure.” He lightly stroked his finger over his back. “He’s fucking cute.” I nodded. Knowing that this wasn't going to be easy. I was for damn sure that I would be able to see Daryl again. No matter what happened. One way or another I would make sure this baby knew who daddy really was.

#the walking dead imagine #the walking dead fanfiction #the walking dead fanfic #negan imagine #twd negan #negan x reader #the walking dead imagines #the walking dead

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imsarabum · 7 years

Text

Responses to {Part 27} I Won’t Stop You // Jeon Jungkook, Vampire!AU Asks~

Please ‘Keep Reading’ to find my response to your ask ^^ As always, I have copied and pasted all asks into this post in regards to last night’s chapter to avoid clogging up people’s dashboards and to avoid spoilers for those who may still wish to read the chapter. Thank you ^^

(I have also included asks that I received before this IWSY chapter was posted ^^)

P.S I’M SORRY THIS POST IS LATE I AM IN LONDON RIGHT NOW ON EASTER BREAK U-U

Anonymous said: IWSY is the first fanfic I've been reading for so long! Seriously, this is a story like a drug. I'm that type of impatient reader, so I'm curious to know how long you plan to continue this story? When will my life be over?

Thank you for reading it for this amount of time!! But I’m really sorry, I can’t answer your questions because I don’t know myself. I get people always asking me this question but I honestly don’t know xD You guys will know when I do! It probably won’t be for too much longer; we’ll just have to see!! ^^

@btsfanficss said: I'm so excited for IWSY!! Thank you for your hard work and please remember to rest properly ❤️❤️❤️

Thank you so much bby!! I will try :) but this week is so busy for me and I am currently in London *sweats* lol I hope you have a great week and that you’ll enjoy the new chapter!!

Anonymous said: i binge read I wont stop you, my emotions were all over the place AND IM STILL NOT DONE. you are such a good writer omg. i love you and your writing😚

WAAAh thank you for binge reading it lol! thank you so much you’re so sweet and I love you too deary!! :D

Anonymous said: Girl, I'M READY *DRAMTICALLY GRABS TISSUES* Ps: i read a lot of filipino readers here. Hello guys *waves* -fanfrmph

GRAB THE TISSUES AND HOLD ON TO YOUR BUTTS! hehe~ Actually I’ve always been interested to know where the majority of people who red my fanfiction live. I wish there was a way I could know without exposing people’s identities hehe~ I hope you’ll enjoy the update tonight love!

@mocking-butts said: It's Tuesday oh god oh god I'm not ready I'm going to sob mumsy what do i do it's Tuesday oh my goodness I'm going to die I'm not ready for this help meeee i hope im not going to die and sob my eyes out even though I will oh god.

aHHHHHH I hope you’ll like it my love please don’t cry!! :c

Anonymous said: heyyy, i just wanted to ask when is the new chapter coming? I rly enjoy reading the fanfic and the storyline is great, can't wait to see how will it develop in the future 🌌💟💟

I upload new chapters of IWSY every Tuesday evening between 9pm and 10pm UK Time (this is written at the beginning of every chapter^^) thank you so much for enjoying the story my love!!

@deangetoutofmyspleen said: ITS TUESDAY

IT IS TUESDAY

Anonymous said: I'm actually fucking sobbing at this point

Me everyday tbh

@im-that-chesire-jax said: OH MY GOD THAT WAS SO GOOD. and I kept having theories about her changing and Yoongi being her master and I kept thinking "she's a domitor, she's special so what if she can't have a master?" AND IM SO HYPE AND EXCITED THAT I FINALLY PREDICTED SOMETHING. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR WRITING I WILL CONTINUE TO SUPPORT YOU FOR AS LONG AS YOU CONTINUE WRITING

AGHGVGJBWKG THANK YOU SO MUCH I WAS SO NERVOUS ABOUT POSTING THIS CHAPTER SO IM SO HAPPY THAT YOU LIKED IT THANK YOU DKHSBDGKJSNGJSEG I love you :3

Anonymous said: Hahahaha even tho Yoongi's the loml, i hope he gets the fucking revenge he deserves and y/n ruins him and his existence

We will see what happens!! Thank you so much for reading :D

Anonymous said: OOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUOH MY GAIIIIIII💔

*Jungkook voice* ohmygod!

Anonymous said: I know she's not actually bound to him, but my heart still aches for Jungkook and Taehyung because as far as they're aware, they've both lost the person the love and a person they care about. I'm happy Namjoon is feeling now, and as hopeless as it might be, in genuinely happy the there's still /something/ between Tae and Yoongi.

Yes - because they have no idea what she has just experienced! :( And of course, Yoongi may not be *good* like the other characters in the story, but he still has some empathy and love inside of him, or so it seems! Thank you so much for reading the chapter dear :)

@chimkookie said: GURL I'M ACTUAL DYING CHAPTER 27 OF I WON'T STOP YOU WAS THE SHIT OMG I'M DYING! ASDFGHJKL I'M CRYING SDFGHJKL ASDFGHJKL ASDFGHJKL!

AGHHHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH MY LOVE I’M SO HAPPY YOU LIKED IT!!

Anonymous said: OH MAN SHE'S GONNA DO THE "SURPRISE I FOLLOWED YOU AROUND LIKE A HELPLESS PUPPY WHEN ACTUALLY I'M THE MOST POWERFUL THING ON THIS EARTH SO DIE NOW PLEASE" ON HIM

GASP LET’S SEE!!! :3

@xokookiebts said: OH MY GOD IM PULLING MY HAIR OUT AT THE CLIFFHANGER FOR PART 27. I JUST WANT HER TO WHOOP HIS ASS REAL QUICK BUT NOT KILL HIM. LIKE MAKE HIM REALIZE WHO'S THE MASTER DJDJJS. OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT ANOTHER WEEK FOR THE NEXT PART. IM GONNA COMBUST.

Pls no hair pulling that sounds painful! :c AND PLEASE DO NOT COMBUST THAT WOULD MAKE ME REALLY SAD BUT THANK YOU FOR READING IT BABE :3

Anonymous said:THE NEW CHAPTER I AM SCREAMING THIS JUST TOOK A DIFFERENT TURN AND I LOVE IT

I HOPE YOU LIKED THE NEW TURN I WAS SO NERVOUS TO POST IT THANK YOU SO MUCH AGHHH

@sundaymorningblues14 said: Wow. I am speechless, that was beautifully written. You truly have a gift! I absolutely loved the way you described the spirit (is that the right term?). I can't wait to see what the protagonist is going to do next! Thank you darling xx

Thank you so much beautiful ^^ I’m so so happy you loved how the sine nomine was described! You can refer to them however you wish - a spirit, a god, a power; whatever feels right to you! You’re so welcome and thank you very much for reading it *hug*

@shineeshawol204 said: I. Am. ScReAmInG!¡!¡ FUCK UGH I CANT THAT WAS SO GOOD AND JUST UGH HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WAIT ANOTHER WEEK?! YOU HURT ME YOU KNOW THAT SARA?!

*screams with you* THANK YOU SO MUCH BABE! I didn’t mean tto hurt you though I am sorry :(

Anonymous said: Omg... THE FEEEEELLLLSSS MAN. How could u do this to me... I don't know what I'm feeling right now... I feel, almost... lost? You are an incredibly amazing writer and I feel blessed to be able to have read that and felt the way I did. Please continue on to make my, and many other people's lives happy with what you are writing xxx luv uuuuuu ☺️❤️

Don’t be lost - I’ll find you! *cheesy* Ahhhh thank you so much you’re really too kind to me but I am so happy that you got to feel all those emotions from the story. Thank you and I love you too dear ^^

@animeimmortal said: DO YOU HEAR MY HEART? IT STOPPED LIKE HALF WAY I am still so flipping amazed at all the scenery and detailed descriptions you put in there WHAT WAS WITH THAT ENDING but then again if thats a prank that she's just saying that for the lulz then I would honestly do the same 😊 i don't know what to expect in very excited about the next chapter ❤❤❤ much love

I’LL BRING YOU BACK TO LIFE HOLD UP~~~ I’m glad you liked the scenery and the detail, I personally really enjoyed writing that part. It felt very serene and calming to write it ^^ hehe, thank you so so much for reading my love!

Anonymous said: Questions: 1)What? 2)WHYISJIMINSTILLDEADYOUTOLDMEHEWAS- 3)Am I messing with Yoongi or....? 4) Hoseok's gonna wake up and be like '...What the-' 5)Serrena's gonna come in and be like '...What in the-' 6)YAY JOONIE ISN'T DEAD 7)Why didn't I ask the gender ambiguous person if Jimin is deads?! 8)WhAt? 9)Can we be friends? 10)Do you know the Muffin Man? 11)Wow I asked a lot of questions, but you did this to yourself. 12)Some of these weren't even questions lol LAST QUESTION: WHaT? - <3 Vampnip anon

Hello Vampnip anon! My, my! You have a lot of questions...but I guess you will have to wait until the next chapter to see if I answer them in it :3 BUT I CAN SAY RIGHT NOW THAT YES LET’S BE FRIENDS BECAUSE I KNOW THE MUFFIN MAN LET’S GO EAT MUFFINS :3

Anonymous said: I've literally just been sat, staring at my wall, for the past hour. This chapter gave me feelings I ain't never had before. I'm surprised I haven't burnt holes into my wall with how intense my thinking stare is 😂😘😘

I’m rather glad that you haven’t burnt holes into your wall, that would be rather unfortunate you and the landlord to find yourselves in that predicament D: This chapter gave you feelings you never had before? Well...perhaps I am a domitor - giving you feelings? *ba dum dum chiiii* excuse me my dad jokes are lame I’m leaving GOODNIGHT THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING

Anonymous said: Idk man i want iwsy to end happy, but at the same time i want it to be angsty. KILLS ME IM EXCITED AF TO SEE HOW IT ENDS, IM READY

I wonder how it will end!!!??? :3

@mysr3 said: This Ch is OMG, took my breath away at every details- like a ray of light in darkness! Thank you so much! Cant wait to know what her motive is! Next CH is going to b on FiRE! JK at the end is pricelss! U r such a talented writer even I already said it but ill say again bc it fact! U r Awesome! Thank you for bringing such another wonderful scenario to us! I love you ❤ Plz take care of urself n Hope you have a good night/ good week n wish you all the luck in the world Love ღღღ

You’re so sweet I’m smiling like a complete idiot oh my god?? D: what did I do to deserve you, you little ray of sunshine?! hehe :3 I love you too and i also hope that you will take good care of yourself and have a great week!! :3

Anonymous said: I DONT EVEN CARE I JUST NEED CHIM CHIM TO BE ALIVE #savechimchim #praytothelord #heissocutehecantdie #immadieifsomeonedoesntsavehim

#SAVECHIMCHIM2017

Anonymous said: No...just no...how could you do that to me... and then make me wait another week to find out what happens?!?!!?!?!!?!

Because...I’m evil...but I love you...:3 *runs away*

@jynxy24 said: Forgot it was Tuesday😂😂 YOUR CHAPTER HAS SURPIRSED ME UNTIL I HAD TO PRAY TO FATHER SUGA WILLIAMS ADAM THE THIRD AND YAS I HAVE DIED FROM READING YOUR WONDERFUL CHAPTER THANK YOU SARA IT WAS FUCKING GREAT AND GOODBYE LIFE I'M DEAD😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

OMG lol FATHER SUGA WILLIAMS ADAM THE THIRD I’M ON THE FLOOR SKKLNSNEWJEHNNEH THANK YOU FOR READING AAND YOU’RE WELCOME I HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY MY LOVE

@namjoonismybias said: Oh my god IWSY was- I can't even😵 keep up the good work!😁✌️❤

Thank you so much for reading my little sugarplum!!

@semisweetsuga said: FUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKK THAT WAS SO GOOD OH MY GODDDD

KOTO YOUR AVATAR IS SO FUCKING CUTE I’M PEEING

@deangetoutofmyspleen said: my mom thought i was dying, but i was actually just reading IWSY so yEP IM CRYING AND SCREAMING I LOVE THIS SERIES IM EMOTIONAL. i need more soodkckvkgkgkkh

OMG LOL SORRY MUM xD Thank you so much and I apologise if your mum had a heartattack cos she thought you were dying lolol :3

@mocking-butts said: IM SCREAMING OH MY GOD KYFCNIGFNLFFKNVGK PLS BE NEXT WEEK

I HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT BBY!!

Anonymous said: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT HAPPEN

Anonymous said: You really are an incredible writer

*blush* you’re too kind, but thank you so much. Seriously.

Anonymous said: Damn damn damn. I knew it! I knew she was gonna be turned AND PREGNANT all at the same time mmhm mmhm. Y/N bout to fuck shit up. You had me dying at "you'll never walk alone" I was like no she didn't just go there. Excited for next week whioooop

YAY YOU GOT THE YOU’LL NEVER WALK ALONE REFERENCE YAAAAAY! ehehe :3 thank you so much my love, I hope you’ll enjoy next weeks too ^^

@snoopy198712 said: Please let some of her powers be able 2 bring Jimin back 2 life & let her be the one 2 either kill Yoongi or Turn him over so the other vampire can kill please allow Namjoon 2 be good please I love this story so much I wait every Tuesday luv it

I hope she’ll be able to do all that and that everything will work out fine in the end! :( but thank you so much for reading and I’m so happy that you look forward to it each week my love :)

@ohheyitsebonyrose said: AAAHHHH OMG SNEAKY SNEAKY Y/N!! Even though it breaks my heart it's good to know it's not because he's actually her master. Another great chapter again Sara!!

Sneaky lil fox! :3 Thank you so much my love, I’m really glad you enjoyed it! ^^

Anonymous said: Yeah just take my heart u already have my feelings take it all --wifey anon 🐇 (cont.) For once I am not worried because I know YN knows exactly what she s doing Also I cannot help but think about (Y/N) x Jungkook sex like yn can feel so much things it ll take this expérience to the next level I believe --wifey anon 🐇

me: collector of souls, hearts and feelings :3 ANd yes! At least you know what her intentions are - despite the cliffhanger! And ooooooog you’re the first person to have mentioned that :3 yes!! I bet it will hehe~ thank you so so much for reading wifey anon! ^^

@deboracorrea25 said: OMG! OMG! OMG! It was fantastic! Despite the fact that you made me cry for a moment, it was still a perfect chapter. All the answers you provided, made a smile grow and widen in my face. And she becoming much more glorious and strong... I just loved it! I knew she would call him master, she's smart and I love her. Thanks for this amazing part of IWSY. Love you!!

I’m sorry for making you cry :( but thank you so much my love! and I love you too~ i’m so happy you liked it!

@doubletroublesince1994 said: I mean yeah, it's perfectly normal for me to read this at past midnight when my finals are just in 45 days and I also have an exam in physics and chemistry in 2 days (For which I'm not ready AT ALL) THE THINGS YOU DO TO ME OH SARA

Awwwww babe I’m sorry your finals are so close! :( I APOLOGISE FOR ANY PAIN I’VE CAUSED YOU PLS DON’T HATE MEEEE

Anonymous said: I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU FOR ALL THE GOOD NEWS IN IWSY I LOVE YOU MAN I LOVE YOU AND YOUR WORK PLS CARRY ON WITH WRITING 😂❤ ignore me

I love you too! You’re so so sweet thank you so much my dear ^^

Anonymous said: I FEEL SO BAD FOR JUNGKOOK LIKE HIS HEART IS PROBABLY BROKEN PLEASE LET HIM IN ON THE READER'S PLAN. Ok but seriously amazing chapter!! -Tall anon

Hopefully everything will work out in the next chapter :3 Thank you so much tall anon!

@rainbowluversunite2011 said: IWSY had me SCREAMINGG. I hate that i have to wait a week 😖 It's soooo good! It's amazing, i can't breath right oh lord. You're awesome btw. and so is your story 💜✨

You are awesome too my love! Thank you so much for reading and I’m really glad you enjoyed the update :D

Anonymous said: OMG THIS NEW CHAPTER OF IWSY HAS ME FEELING ME SOME KIND OF WAY THAT I CANNOT EXPLAIN, I'M FEELING HAPPY, ANGRY, SAD, ANXIOUS AND EXCITED ALL AT ONCE. I MEAN, SHE'S A VAMPIRE AND A DOMITOR AND IS CARRYING A BABY AND MY GOD I JUST NEED MORE, Tuesday is so close but so far at the same tim, I can barely wait!

I’m glad that this chapter could bring out all these feelings for you :3 that makes me super happy hehe! Thank you so so much my love ^^

@jungkookbangtaned said: OMG HEY NO SARA HOW CAN YOU END THE CHAPTER LIKE THIS OMG OMG AND I THOUGHT I WAS DEAD FOR REAL. AND THEN THIS. AND THEN POOR CHRIST JUNGKOOK OMG OMG WHYTT😭😭😭 *even if it may not seem, I still love you and your writing BUT JUST PLEASE NEXT TIME GIVE US SOME MERCY OH MY GOD

NOPE NO DEAD FOR REAL hehe~ I love you too but I offer no mercy :P Thank you so much for reading the update my dear I’m glad you liked it!!

@clara-licht said: *woke up* *checked watch* Oh, it's 4.30 AM.... IWSY should be updated already. *read story* .....NOW I HAVE TO WAIT ANOTHER WHOLE WEEK *tried to go back to sleep* *couldn't sleep due to excitement* Well there goes the rest of my rest XD Seriously though, the newest one left me shook. That last bit kinda excites me, what would Kook do about that? And how will Yoongs react? After all, domitors aren't tied to anyone, so that bit over there must be an act.

Oh my god I’m so sorry to hear that you couldn’t get back to sleep my dear :( But I’m glad that you enjoyed the update! And yes - how will Yoongi react D: I wonder! D: Thank you so much dear for reading :D

@fashionkilla124 said: I'm dying at the end if the new chapter cuz I know she GON BEAT HIS ASS 😂😂 YOU ALREADY KNOW ITS ABOUT TO GO DOWN NEXT WEEK IM CRYING FROM LAUGHING SO HARD SEND HELP 😂😂💀💀

SHE’S GONNA BEAT HIM UP YAY hopefully :3 thank you so much love!

@pandafish said: ooohoh!!!!! why is she calling him master though?? i hope it's just a trick. i wonder if she'll kill yoongi :O

You’ll just have to wait and see! :3

Anonymous said: Just a random question, Sara.... WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO END ON A CLIFFHANGER?! wait, but then again, leaving off on a cliff hangers gives all of us the opportunity to come up with mostly inaccurate theories about what will happen next... hmm, okay then, no complaints. IWSY part 27? (jeez it's been so long since the beginning, I'm starting to loose track...) anyways, pt 27 was really really good! Hah! Take that, Yoongi! Your little plan didn't work! I'm looking forward to next week!- army anon

Because, dear army anon, I am a bitch ^^ hehe~ And I love reading people’s inaccurate or accurate deductions so much :3 Thank you so much for thinking that the chapter was good dear, it means so much to me ^^

Anonymous said: please bring Jimin back, please!!! (-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩___-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩) he means so much to Taehyung!

He hasn’t even died and you want him to come back! lol

Anonymous said: daaaaaaamn sara, back at it again with the cliff-hangers. 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻 from now on i'm calling u the cliff-hanger goddess, featuring ur most notable work "i won't stop you [from cliff-hanging]" 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻

I am satisfied with this title *smug face* :3

Anonymous said: "You will never walk alone" ahhhhhhh I'm crying for multiple reasons ... man I was waiting all week for that chapter and I'm not disappointed!!!! I'm so excited for more and I'm still on edge for next week and!! Your writing is so good!!! Thank you so much k thx bye <3

I’m so happy that you and a few other people seem to have gotten the reference that I slipped in there :3 hehe thank you so much for reading my love and I hope you enjoy the next part too! :D

@rahrah25 said: This chapter of "I Won't Stop You" was just breathtaking I'm still in awe of how wonderfully and beautifully you read this chapter this is my favorite fanfic thank you for sharing your incredible work:) ❤❤

I’m smiling so much of my goodness c: thank you my love, your words mean the world to me! Thank you even more for reading my series^^

@purrfectcupof-tae said: Omg you used the "you never walk alone" phrase in IWSY and I'm just weak 😭 i love your writing and I hope to become just as great as you 💕

I did use the never walk alone phrase :3 thank you for picking up on it!! :3 And I am sure you are already a great writer - honestly, mine is mediocre at best :D thank you for your wonderful words regardless my love ^^

Anonymous said: OOOOOH SHIT DAMN ITS THE FUCKING CLIFF HANGER AGAIN BUT ANYWAYS FUCK YAH THE CHAPTER WAS AMAZING AS ALWAYS ٩( 'ω' )و ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ

YAY THANK YOU SO MUCH SWEETIPIE ANON!

@mnmiyukiko18 said: Hun bun, I love you and your work so much... But I swear if Jimin dies in IWSY I don't know if I'll be able to forgive you.

I really hope he won’t die then! *scared face*

Anonymous said: I (an almost 20 year old) literally squeeled when I remembered it was IWSY Tuesday. And oh boy was I blessed this week. Chapter 27 was (literally, haha) an out of body experience. I am so in love with how you've developed this plot. And the sine nomine? Incredible. Unexpected. Amazing. It's clear how much thought and detail you've put into this series, and it is such a complete pleasure to read. Also, the JK stan in me is so ready for eternal power couple Y/N and Jungkook like HELL YEA. - 종달새 <3

I’m so thankful that you loved the sine nomine character - I was really hoping that it would be a nice, fresh organic arch to a vampire story! ETERNAL POWER COUPLE HELL YES LET’S GO! Thank you for always being such a sweetheart, I appreciate it more than words can describe - thank you ^^

@sinae said: I've been following along with I Won't Stop You for a while now and I am so amazed with your writing! I check every Tuesday for a new update because I am so curious as to where the story leads! This chapter was amazing as always, and I am so excited for the next one!! Thank you for sharing your writing! I hope you are doing wonderful♡ (Pls tell me Jimin is okay don't hurt me like this lol)

Ahh, thank you so much for following it for a long time ^^ Even tho it has been running for 27 weeks now! You’re welcome for the stories but thank you even more for reading them ^^ I hope you are also doing wonderfully love!!

Anonymous said: I hereby invite you to this poor army's funeral. She will be dearly missed after we found her screaming and sobbing in her room after reading the last chapter of IWSY. Please bring flowers (and Jeon Jungkook if possible)

Listen; no funerals will be had because I refuse to let you die! I 100% wish I could bring you flowers and Jeon Jungkook~ Those two things could heal ANYONE’S broken heart I think!

Anonymous said: NOOOOOO I need the next chapter right N O W :( every chapter literally keeps me at the edge of my seat.... praying that this series will never end so I can have my weekly dose of fantasy ㅠㅠ -bunnykookie96

Hello bunnykookie96!! my fellow 96liner :D I wish I could give you the next chapter right now but...I don’t even have it written yet ::( I’m sorry!! but thank you so much for reading it dear ^^

@kookieslaugh said: wait wait wait, when y/n wakes up from her ''death'' is Jungkook slowly dying?? I mean he was in a fight with Seokjin and kind of got rly beat up? bc if he's slowly dying then so aM I!!! Btw I love I won't stop so much like you have no idea how much I'm looking forward to every Tuesday ahhhhh ❤️

Ahhh no, it was more like - her calling Yoongi her ‘master’ killed Jungkook on the inside because he doesn’t know what’s really going on ^^ Thank you so much sweetkins!!

@lostheretics said: shit is gettin real im jungshooked

me as fuck

@koreaisanaddiction said: MY THEORY WAS CORRECT!!!! so good this is an amazing chapter i want more!!!

YAY YOU GUESSED CORRECTLY!! Thank you so much for thinking it was amazing :D

@killingalltheflowers said: Omg this chapter was so beautiful. I have no words to describe it.. And I feel the badassness coming in the next chapter *^* AW I' M SO EXCITED!! YOU'RE THE BEST.

*sobs* thank you so much my love!

Anonymous said: SARA MY BABE! CHAPTER 27 IS SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO GOOD THAT I AM TRULY AT A LOSS OF WORDS... SWEETCAKES YOU WRITE SOOOO DAMN WELL! ❤❤❤❤❤

I’M TRULY SO HAPPY THAT YOU ENJOYED IT!!! Thank you so much beautiful ^^

Anonymous said: IM SCREAMING SARA OH MY GODNJSDKK IM A 3RD YEAR COLLEGE STUDENT AND I MAJOR IN LIBRARY AND INFORMATION SCIENCE THE MOMENT I SEE SINE NOMINE I SCREAM youre prob aware of it but we use sine nomine [s.n] in cataloguing when theres no author mentioned in a book and sine loco [s.l] if theres no publisher stated sjsjsjsjsjs i just okay i flip my shit out im sorry anYWAY i mentioned last time i had some theory it didnt cover most of it so im still waiting for the next tHIS IS AN AWESOME UPDATE IM

Awwww yesssss! sine nomine is latin for ‘nameless’ so I wanted this powerful entity to have some kind of name. I thought that was most fitting ^^ hehe language is so amazing and how we use it, right? ^^ Thank you so much love and I hope you will be able to see if your theories are correct or not soon! :D

Anonymous said: Even tho my spring break ends this week, I can't fucking wait till next tuesday. Tuesdays are my favourite days of the week thanks to you ❤

My spring break will also end this week :( I’m still in London tho so it’s fun!! I’m so happy that Tuesdays are good days for you because of IWSY - thank you for being amazing and lovely :D

Anonymous said: SHE IS BOUTTA TRICK YOONGI AND BEAT HIS ASS THEN BRING JIMIN BACK OR SOMETHING IT HAS TO BE

IT’S ABOUT TO GO DOWN MY FRIENDO!

@xtigerlily said: I usually don't like to read anything longer than a oneshot but I'm hooked on I Wont Stop You. I can't stop thinking about it all day. You're a fantastic writer and i'm so glad I found your page :) keep it up!

Well I feel honoured that you gave IWSY a chance even thought it’s not a oneshot! Thank you so much!! :3

Anonymous said: holo Sara!! i've been wondering about this a lot. in IWSY, where did the names 'natum lamia' (i think thats how you spell it) and 'sine nomine' come from? did you learn Latin? :o

I don’t speak Latin fluently but I know some odd words here and there! But the reason as to why I have included Latin names in IWSY is because of the lore I chose to make as the background of my story. I didn’t just want to use English because I believe that the story would have lost it’s depth and feel! :D

@noceurash said: WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS BJFGH,, i love you very much bby but you've killed me eternally gdgh. Iwsy was good aaah , have a lovely day~~~~ ♡

I love you too and Im so sorry for killing you eternally :( But thank you so much my love and I hope you have a great day too!! ^^

@idgaf97 said: I just want to say I've been a long time reader of IWSY and I absolutely love it. I think it's one of the best stories I've read (fanfic or not.) Jungkook has always looked like a vampire prince to me lol. Much love from The States (Chicago)!

Thank you so much for being a long time reader! :3 And yes -- Jungkook has always given me Vampire vibes~~ Conversely, Taehyung has always given me Werewolf vibes lol I did write a oneshot smut about Werewolf!Taehyung :3 He’s such an adorable little puppy hehe ^^ And heeeeey Chicago! Thank you my love :D

Anonymous said: Sara, why the cliff-hanger? Oh god now im dying in here.whyyyyyyy

I don’t know I swear it’s my evil twin that does it :(

Anonymous said: Hi yes hello, I'd just like you to know that I just spent the whole day reading I Won't Stop You, and I have to say that you're an incredible writer!! I legit was reading it during my uni classes!! Anyway thank you for writing such a wonderful story and I'm looking forward to the future chapters :D (Jimin though :'(

Gah thank you so much sweetkins! And tut tut you should be focusing on Uni work you naughty student you (jk that’s like me everyday lol) Thank you so much for reading my story as it means a lot to me!! Good luck during your University classes :D

#imsarabum #IWSY #I Won't Stop You #Asks #Responses

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reubenmediablog-blog · 7 years

Text

U24 Script

The Gift (Working title)

Interior- a small dark room with seldom anything inside. A couple of self help posters and religious posters are scattered up along the far wall, the room is dimly lit and has only one inhabitant. A young girl or woman, who is tied to a chair seemingly unconscious, the temple of her head is dried with some blood and it looks as if she experienced some sort of trauma.

Young Girl

(Slowly begins to raise her head and squint against the dim light. She lets out a dazed gasp and slowly glances around the room with confusion. For a moment there is nothing, then the sudden fear that comes with the realization of her situation sets in. She begins to panic and fight against the binds that keep her to the chair) Help! Is anyone there!? Please help me! (Begins to hyperventilate as she looks around frantically, tears building in her eyes. She breaks into a quiet sob, takes a deep breath and screams) Help! Anybody!? (She is met by no answer and her head slowly lowers as she sobs quietly to herself. That's when she hears footsteps out side of the door leading into the small room. She quickly darts her head up and cries out once more) Is anybody there?! Please help me!

The door to the room slowly opens and a man steps in. He is decently well dressed and wears a disturbingly large smile on his face given the circumstances.

The Man

Ah how wonderful! (Eerily up beat and chirpy) You are finally awake. (Chuckles lightly to himself) I wont lie, you had me worried for a while there I thought you'd never wake up! (Continues chuckling to himself as he closes the door he entered through behind him, his chuckle Isn't a sinister one, but that of someone who might have just heard a joke that tickles them in the right way. It's oddly joyful and innocent) But don't worry I wont hold it against you (Gives her a warm smile as he stands a few feet away from her with his hands locked in front of him)

Young Girl

(Cautiously as she struggles to stop herself from bursting out into tears) Who...who are you?....Where am I!?

The Man

(Slaps his own forehead gently in a comedic way) ah how rude of me! (Steps forward and extends a hand out to her) My name is Peter. How nice to meet you...(Looks down and realizes her hands are tied to the chair. He laughs out loud) Oh how silly of me, I'm sorry I am not usually this clumsy I promise. (Kneels down in front of her and pats the back of her bound hand and looks her in the eyes) It is a real pleasure to have you on board with us.

Young Girl

(visibly terrified as tears roll down her cheeks) Where...where am I?

Peter

(Looks around the room and sighs) Ah....I know this isn't the most accommodating of places...but....it's the best I've got unfortunately. (Looks to her head and his smile slowly turns to a concerned frown) Oh would you look at that...(Strokes his hand over it) I am so, so, so sorry about that. Really I am. But you wouldn't come calmly (Chuckles) But don't worry, you got one back on me (Pulls his collar down to reveal a set of scratch marks along his neck as he chuckles more) Don't worry I wont hold it against you...I admit, maybe I could have been more sympathetic to how you were feeling. I mean, if a strange man jumped out at me and grabbed me I would likely do the same. (Laughs and waves his hand) But that's in the past now. No reason to keep harping back to it now is there?

Young Girl

(Begins to cry frantically)

Peter

OH...honey...Come on don't cry. (Reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tissue which he uses to dab her tears) Come on now. It's all going to be okay.

Young Girl

(Mouse like whisper as she is finding it hard to speak through her sobbing) What do you want from me!?

Peter

Oh... I don't want anything from you silly...(Smiles warm and wide like a parent would to there distressed child) No...I want to give you something. A gift! One not many people are lucky enough to receive.

Young Woman

(Sobs) I want to go home....Please..

Peter

Go home? (Smiles fades slowly from his face as anger and confusion takes its place) Go home....why would you want to do that?

Young Woman

Please...I wont tell anybody what happened...I promise. Just...Just...let me go. No one has to know (Shakes her head slowly as she sobs) No one will know...

Peter

(Stares at her with a angry, almost hurt expression) Home...you want to go home?

Young Woman

(Nods her head as she sobs)

Peter

(Stands up and sighs as he places a hand over his forehead. He turns his back to her and looks to the ceiling. He sighs deeply again. He then slowly turns back to her and shakes his head slowly) I am sorry dear. But you can't go home.

Young Woman

(Gasps and continues crying)

Peter

No, no, no, don't cry. You will be going somewhere much better I promise you!

Young Woman

(Finds her strength and screams) I want to go home!

Peter

No. No home! I won’t hear another word about it. (Sighs and shakes his head slowly) I thought you’d be happy? Grateful even. Look, clearly you are very distressed. I think its best if i leave you to calm down a little. (Turns and starts to leave)

Young Woman

NO! Please! (Door slams shut and she starts sobbing to herself again)

Fades to black for a few seconds, then fades back into shot and we reveal some time has past, likely a few hours, either by a clock or a little time stamp. We see she is still alone in the room tied to the chair, but has seemingly fallen asleep. Likely due to the stress draining her of all her energy. We hear keys rustling from the other side of the door and the Young woman slowly lifts her head as Peter steps in to the room holding a tray of food.

Peter

Rise and shine sleepy head! (Chuckles as he closes the door) I brought you some dinner (Smiles) It’s not much but I thought I’d help keep your strength up. You got a big day coming up soon Bethany (Chuckles innocently) Wouldn’t want you to be all weak and skinny for when he arrives.

Bethany

(Sounding exhausted and defeated like she has no fight in her) when who arrives…

Peter

(Pulls out a napkin and starts to tuck it around her neck) Don’t worry about that for now. (Spoons up a bit of food) Open up, come on…you have to eat something honey.

Bethany

(Closes her mouth tight and turns her head away, staring at the spoonful of food with a cautious look)

Peter

(Notices her glance and starts laughing) Oh…oh you think I?….No…no don’t be silly (Eats the spoonful) See? Nothing wrong with it. Now be a good girl and eat up, (Scoops up a second mouthful of food and offers it to her)

Bethany

(Cautiously eats it and stares at Peter with confusion as she does)

Peter

See. Now that wasn’t so bad was it? (Smiles wide and feeds her another spoonful) How about some music to lighten the mood a little? (Sets the plate down and goes to an old stereo on the table in the corner of the room. He presses play and turns to her grinning as ‘Make you own kind of music’ slowly starts up) Ah…Mother and I loved this one. (Starts slow dancing around the room in front of her as if with an imaginary partner)

Bethany

(Watches him dance around the room with a deep confusion. Then it finally clocks on to her that he used her name) How….how did you know my name?

Peter

(Pre Occupied with his dancing) HM?

Bethany

You got a big day ahead of you Bethany….that’s what you said…how did you know my name?

Peter

(Stops dancing and tilts his head) Oh did I?

Bethany

You did….That's what you said.

Peter

Well…I guess the cat is out of the bag now (Chuckles lightly and approaches her)

Bethany

(Recoils slightly as he kneels in front of her and rests a hand on her knee)

Peter

(Smiles and reaches into his pocket where he pulls out his phone. He then opens up a picture and shows her a Facebook profile picture of a man who looks like a model ,his name on the profile is ‘Owen Thornton’ *place holder name*) See, I know you more than you think.

Bethany

(See the looks of distress creep across Bethany’s face) You….You’re…

Bethany

(Sudden realization of what has happened) You’re a fucking psycho!

Peter

(Recoils slightly) Excuse me!?

Bethany

You…you…you freak!

Peter

Hey! You should be grateful to me Missy!

Bethany

Grateful!? You kidnapped me! You fucking Lunatic!

Peter

I offer you the gift of a life time and this is how you repay me!? I mean Jesus Fucking Christ! (Stops suddenly and covers his mouth as his eyes widen) Oh…oh no. Look what you made me do….look what you made me do. Using the lords name in vein at a time like this….

Bethany

Fuck you! (Spits on him)

Peter

(Recoils and stares at her with a very disturbing and angry look. There is a long pause as they stare back at each other before he suddenly lashes out and back hands her. Bethany lets out a whimper and starts to sob as Peter takes off his glasses and wipes her spit from the lenses with his shirt. He sighs heavily and shakes his head slowly) I didn’t want to do that Bethany. (Walks over to the stereo and turns it off) I mean, I brought you food, played sweet music for you…and this how you treat me. (Snatches up the tray from in front of her) Perhaps more time alone will help fix your manners.

Bethany

(Shakes her head slowly) No please, don’t leave me alone again please! Please! (Peter exits the room and slams the door)

Shot slowly fades to black once more and eventually opens back up on what would probably be a new day, though there is no real way of telling that besides the clock. We see a shot of Peter preparing a bucket of water when Bethany’s phone buzzes on the table next to him. He picks it up and looks at it. There is a few missed texts and a lot of missed calls.

Text 1- From Father

‘Bethany. Where are you!? Me and your Mother are worried sick! Text 2- from mother

Honey, please get in touch and let me, and your father, know where you are. We are worried about you xx

Text 3- from Bro

You are in so much shit when you get home. Mum and Dad are going crazy over here.

Peter

(Texts back to father) Don’t worry I’m Fine. I’m Staying at a friends house.

Peter

(Enters the room whistling the tune to 'Make your own kind of music'. He carries a bucket of water with him and a flannel) Morning beautiful. How we feeling today?

Bethany

(slowly raises her head to look at him. Her face is blank and heavy with exhaustion and she just stares at him. The fight seemingly gone from her)

Peter

(Timidly looks at her and bites his lip) You aren’t still mad at me for my little outburst yesterday are you? I hope not. I didn't mean to hit you. (Puts the bucket down and starts to roll up his sleeve) Look...I made sure I was punished for it...(Shows her a set of wounds that go across his arm, like he has slashed it with a knife or sharp object) See? (Rolls his sleeve back down and holds up the flannel) I was hoping you'd let me clean your head...you aren’t going to spit at me again are you?

Bethany

(Slowly shakes her head which looks to heavy for her to hold up)

Peter

(Smiles wide and picks up the bucket of water) Wonderful. (Approaches her and kneels down in front of her as he begins to dip the flannel in the water and ring it out a few times) I'm so glad you are mature enough to put this behind us. Most girls your age would be cussing up the walls after what I did. (Gently begins to dab the wound on her head and clean it up as he chuckles) But not you...no, you're a good girl. A nice girl. It's why I chose you mainly.

Bethany

(Her voice is hoarse and rough) Chose...chose me for what....?

Peter

(Continues to dab her head) For this gift...

Bethany

(Stares at him blankly) What...what is the gift...

Peter

(Stops and looks at her before nodding and dipping the flannel back into the bucket) Yeah... I suppose it is time I told you. (Continues to dab her head gently) You see, You are going to be part of something...big...bigger than anyone or anything that walks gods glorious green earth. Something Special..

Bethany

Tell me...

Peter

Ah yes, listen to me rambling like a senior (Chuckles) I'm just so excited for you Is all. (Clears his throat) “Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship”...that's Romans, verse 12:1, from the book of our lord... in case you didn't know.

Bethany

(Looks to him confused) What...what does it mean.

Peter

Well...It means a sacrifice. To our gracious lord.

Bethany

Sacrifice...?

Peter

(leans back away from her and smiles brightly) You must be so confused...I am sorry about that. Let me think how I can put it to you more...clearly, shall we say. (Looks around the room for a moment and then snaps his head back to her quickly with an inquisitive look about him) Do you keep up with the news Bethany?

Bethany

(Nods her head slowly)

Peter

Ah good. Then you know that the current state of our world is appalling to say the very least. Wouldn't you agree?

Bethany

(Stares at him blankly waiting for him to continue)

Peter

Well. What would you say...if I said, that me and you, could change it? Could stop all the senseless violence, the killings, the wars, the lying, and the cheating, and all that nasty business...you would want to try, right?

Bethany

I guess so...

Peter

(slaps her knee cheerfully and laughs) You see. That is why I chose you. You have a pure heart. Something that is unfortunately difficult to come by these days. Well Bethany...that IS what I am saying to you. We DO have a chance to change it all. To make the world...pure again. To change it back to the way our loving lord wanted it when he created it in his own minds eye.

Bethany

how...?

Peter

(Playfully nudges her) Oh come on now silly. You know...(Waits for her to respond and when she doesn't he chuckles) A sacrifice you big dummy!? (Smiles wide and points to her) A sacrifice of a pure soul. That's you.

Bethany

(Suddenly the fear creeps back across her face) You mean....you're going to kill me? (Tears well up in her eyes)

Peter

Kill you? No...no...honey not at all. I'm going to...set you free. The world in its current state does not deserve a soul as pure as yours. No...killing you would be condemning your soul to the eternal black of nothingness. But...doing it this way...your soul we be accepted into the loving embrace of our lord and his lucky select few. You'll spend eternity in a place to beautiful for words. You'll be free...and safe. And...when my time comes...the lord will take me in too. (Chuckles) So you wont be too long without me do not worry.

Bethany

(Breaks down into tears again)

Peter

Oh honey. I know it's scary. But it's for the greater good. Your sacrifice will wash the world clean of sin.

Bethany

 Please...I don't want it. Not me...pick someone else...please.

Peter

(Shakes his head slowly and gives her a compassionate look) There is no one else Bethany...it has to be you.

Bethany

(continues to cry) I don't want it...I'm...I'm not pure. I'm not worthy. I promise you I'm not...I'd...I'd only ruin it for you. Let me go...I'll help you find someone who is worthy...I'd help you look I promise I would I'd..

Peter

(Interrupts her as he places a finger on her lips) Shhh...hush now. It's okay Bethany. I know the idea is intimidating...but do you really think you'd be here if I wasn't one hundred percent sure of you? Hmm? Now come on...cheer up. (Smiles and nods to her) You deserve this. You lucky, lucky, girl. (Suddenly he snaps his head to the side and looks to be listening intently to something)

Bethany

I don-...

Peter

Shhh! (Looks back to her slowly and smiles wide) Do you hear that?

Bethany

(Listens and hears nothing. She shakes her head) I don't...no. Please jus...

Peter

Shh! (Listens a little longer and chuckles as he checks his watch) I didn't think it'd be time now...(Shrugs) But hey who am I to question. (grabs the bucket and flannel and stands up)

Bethany

What's going on!?

Peter

It's time.

Bethany

No...no..please..

Peter

(Gently stokes her cheek with the back of his hand) Don't worry sweetie. Everything, will be fine. I'm going to leave you alone now. And the next thing that steps through that door there will not be me. But I want to assure you...you are perfectly safe. I promise you.

Bethany

No. No no no please! Please don't do this please (Sobs loudly) I want to go home! I want to go home please!

Peter

(Starts to leave) Chin up Bethany. People will sing songs and tell tales of your bravery from this day forth. (Looks back at her one last time and smiles) I am so, so proud of you. (Leaves the room)

Bethany

(Starts screaming frantically) No! NO! Please! Let me go! Let me go----- (Words start to be broken up by sobbing as she lets out a cry of terror)

We get a close up on Bethany as she bows her head and sobs. Then we hear a noise, a growl or something of that nature. She slowly looks up with a face of utter terror and distress. A shadow starts slowly creeping over her and she lets out a final scream. Cut to black.

End of first draft.

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impatient14 · 8 years

Text

EMP Theory is Alive and Thriving

I want to preface this post with this: I am in no way trying to offend or upset the people who do not believe in EMP. This show can be read in so many ways, even by the people who agree on most things. I respect everyone’s opinion. This is just mine!

So, with that said, I want to go through some things I noticed in The Six Thatchers that (to me) are Extended Mind Palace smoking guns. Let it be said that I have only watched the episode twice so there is definitely going to be more to add to this list.

1.) The story about death in Sumara. It was mentioned multiple times, by multiple characters. Almost like they were all given the same script. And you may be like, well, yeah, they are actors in a show, but writers do not give actors the same brain. But it is like Sherlock, Mycroft, and Norbury all share a brain. They all bring up the story without any of the characters speaking to each other about the story first. Sherlock’s dialogue is a voice over, which is not time stamped. It is possible that Mycroft and Norbury brought up the story and then Sherlock used it in his monologue to the audience, but why did Mycroft and Norbury both think of the story? Because they share a brain. Sherlock’s brain.

2.) As @tjlcisthenewsexy pointed out, the sharks, CAM, water, and the death story are also very telling. This post/thread sums it up far better than I could.

3.) Intuition, Premonition- these words were used to describe Sherlock’s feelings about The Six Thatchers case. Premonition is defined as a strong feeling that something is about to happen, especially something unpleasant. Sherlock is anticipating his death, and his intuition is telling him that Mary is involved. Its almost as if she is responsible for his murder in the first place…

4.) The odd transitions and reality breaks. The water imagery over Sherock’s face and in the background of certain scenes, Mycroft and his office busting just as the MT busts were doing throughout the episode, the overlay of a cracked bust on the side of Sherlock’s face. There is an argument for production style here, but its all so very over the top. Much more so than ususal for BBC’s Sherlock. Its almost like they want you to question what you are seeing…

5.) The Damn Skull. In case you can’t tell. Its glowing, almost like an x-ray. Like, an x-ray of someone who is currently laying in a hospital bed. Its fucking glowing guys. Adding onto the fact that it was blue in HLV, something is seriously wrong here.

6.) Mary and John sleeping on opposite sides of the bed from where they slept at the beginning of HLV.

7.) AJ doesn’t care about killing people enough to slit the throat of one of the Thatcher bust owners (unless it was really Mary who killed her), but doesnt shoot Sherlock when Sherlock tells him he is Mary’s friend and he will protect her. Um. Okay.

8.) Sherlock Holmes. His first and last name was said multiple times, by multiple people. Almost as if the entire world is centered around him. We hear his full name multiple times in his confrontation with AJ at the pool. “Who are you? Sherlock Holmes. Who is Sherlock Holmes? Not a policeman.” (This is a reference to ACD or canon Sherlock Holmes who is always described as “Not a policeman or vigilante, just a logical man with an eye for detective work.”) AJ’s “Goodbye Sherlock Holmes” is haunting me too, and not just because of the cheesy line. Where else have we heard someone say, “Goodbye Mr. Holmes”? (Honest question, I know its significant…help! EDIT TO ADD: A couple people have pointed out that this is what Irene texts Sherlock in ASiB. I do remember this, but it isn’t what I had in mind. I feel like I can hear someone say it…like in a threatening way the way AJ does…any takers?)

9.) “Sherlock the dragon slayer.” Mary says this to Sherlock after she gives him what looks like a wickedly smug smile. First of all, how the hell does Mary know Sherlock sees himself this way. When he and Mycroft had this conversation, she was in the middle of passing out in John’s arms. Unless she knows Sherlock sees himself this way because the conversation with Mycroft took place in Sherlock’s mind, just as this ones does.

10.)”My Darling.” Mary begins her letter to John in the most old fashioned, cheesy way. Its not the way Mary Morstan talks…but it is the Mrs. John Watson talks- from TAB. “I don’t mind you going, my darling, I mind you leaving me behind.”

11.) Mary’s disguise on the plane was a joy to watch, but it reminded me of someone else. Sherlock. Sherlock loves disguises and theatrics. The vicar from ASiB and the french waiter from TEH spring to mind.

12.) The number 6. Six months of bristly kisses. 6 months until SHerlock was to die in exile. 6 years that AJ was held in captivity. 6 Thatcher busts. A metaphorical 666 carved into the baby’s head. Highlighted 6 before giving us this:

The number 6 is important to Sherlock, but why?

13.) John’s blog. There should be multiple blog posts for us to read and yet, there aren’t. Its not that Joe is no longer available, bc they’ve told us he has a project for this series…why stop updating the blog? Because there have been no more cases and John is too busy sleeping by Sherlock’s hospital bed. oH, and The six Thatchers? Already a case Sherlock solved. Years ago.

14.) Scene in Georgia. The ambassador says, “I’ve got something they’d love if I could just get out of here” (Paraphrasing). The man asks what and the ambassador replies, “Amo.” She has love. Just like Sherlock has love and has figured it out and if he could just get the hell out of that coma, out of the damn hospital bed, he could give it to John- and John would love him in return.

15.) The two lengthy rapid deductions Sherlock makes are about Mary.

16.) The white papers of doom. There are three of them. Mary to Sherlock (drugged), Exx to John (temptation), and Molly to Sherlock from John (emotional distress). There was a white note of doom in TAB too. Miss me?

17.) John’s cheating story line. It fits in with TAB (see below), but I think its more complicated than just that. We get him texting someone Hey and them replying with the same.Then we get the night time text messages. They seem to be written between people who are at the beginning stages of their relationship, but are still intimate in some way. The Its been too long and Miss you implies they’ve spent time together, but the Night Owl? implies they don’t know each other very well. So, taken alone, this could definitely be from the bus woman. John then breaks it off with his This isn’t a good idea. I’m not free. Things wont end well. It was fun getting to know you a little. I’m sorry. Then the bus stop girl is waiting for him at the bus stop and he smiles at her and then looks guilty- the same look he had when he decided to keep the paper instead of throwing it away. This is what we see. HOWEVER there is more there. First, when John opens the paper to text Exx for the first time he does so horizontally, however, the image they show us has the number broken vertically, as if the paper were folded vertically and Exx isn’t broken up.

Then we’ve got Sherlock saying he deletes all messages from John that begin with the word “Hi”, then we see John text someone (E xx) with the word “Hey.” .The paper that the woman (E) gave John was already in her hand when she was sitting on the bus, she was fiddling with it when they made flirty eye-contact. She then wrote something on it before giving it to him, but the presence of the paper beforehand is suspicious. Almost as if she was planning to hand that exact paper to John anyway, before they even flirted. We’ve also got Sherlock telling John and Lestrade, very specifically, to take the bus home from the crime scene. Sherlock set John up. Why? Because that is the part he needs him to play. He needs John to feel guilty while Mary piles on the manipulative hero-worship and then dies in his arms. All of the text messages themselves are off. Almost like they are in code or written to different people. As if it is Sherlock writing for LiR, while channeling himself as well.

18.) TAB. Basically the existence of TAB is the biggest smoking gun of all. Within that episode, Mofftiss established multiple things. 1.) Sherlock sometimes goes through lengthy mind palace scenarios (with the aid of drugs) to work out a case and we, as the viewer, could be subject to watching them. 2.) A bride fakes her own death with a big splat of blood and drama, then returns to kill her husband- who was cheating on her. 3.)Sherlock made a promise to someone about keeping their spouse safe, and that promise was broken. Lady Carmichael- “You promised! You promised you’d keep him safe!” John- “You made a vow!” Let it be said that Lady C was playing Sherlock there and that she wanted her husband dead all al- OH WAIT. Actually, we never get confirmation that it was Lady C that set up the whole thing. Sherlock makes that deduction, but then Moriarty shows up and ruins the reveal. Either way, its the same story line. Sherlock makes a promise to keep someone safe and fails. 4.) we have the text messages that Sherlock sends John and Mary at the end. Mary’s reads: The Curtain Rises.The Last Act.Its Not Over. John’s is just literal directions as to where to go. He didn’t tell Mary where to meet him. There could be an argument that this would imply that Mary was already in on some sort of plan to fake her death, but the exact same phrasing was used in TAB.

19.) Mary’s video. A posthumous message that parallels Moriarty’s in many, many ways, which includes the phrase, Save John Watson. Where have we seen the phrase Save John Watson before? It was the answer to part of the skip code in TEH. John or James, indeed.

20.) “You’ve been having a reoccurring dream.” I feel like this might be an actual scene, just placed out of order. This scene might be from after Sherlock wakes up. He explains to her what he went through in his MP and she (as any therapist would do) interprets it as a dream. A reoccurring dream. That’s exactly what TAB and TST is. Its the same dream told differently. He goes to Ella after he has awoken and recovered and asks for her help in figuring out what to do with the emotions he has decided to acknowledge. (EDIT: This may actually be EMP too…read this.)

I think 20 is a good number to stop at. Im sure there will be more in the future. Please feel free to add on at your leisure.

The most important thing to realize here is that Mary is the villain and Sherlock is figuring out how to best her, protect John, and stay alive at the same time AkA- The Final Problem.

Tags:

@monikakrasnorada @isitandwonder @tjlcisthenewsexy @ebaeschnbliah @yan-yae @gosherlocked @the-7-percent-solution @longsnowsmoon5 @tendergingergirl @may-shepard @loveismyrevolution

#sherlock #emp #tst #tjlc #johnlock

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endorsereviews · 6 years

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You Wake up and feel good. Cup of coffee in hand you sit down and go to check how the stats are performing, you’re feeling real hopeful things optimized down while you were asleep.

You login and BOOM…a red box from Facebook that you were suspicious or violated something…

GAIN ACCESS THE GEEKOUT EVENT WAS DESIGNED IN THE WAY I WANT TO LEARN. NO BS, NO FLUFF, JUST LEARNING BUILT FOR LEARNERS AND EARNERS. MY PLAN IS SIMPLE.. Put 4 really smart “top of the food chain” thought leaders in a mansion for 2 days and just let them talk about the techniques and nuggets they use to “make the magic” a.k.a. make lots of money.  

1 The experts will just “go deep” on their passion and areas of expertise 2 They will GeekOut on what they Love and share all the hidden tips and tricks things you can use TODAY 3 They need to Back it up with screenshots and data   Most importantly 4 They ANSWER any DAMN question you have

This is where the hacks, loopholes and tactics get turned in to knowledge Bombs.   We want to put you in this room with the experts and the “game changing” methods they have. We want you to sit on in a room of 20 people and give you instant personal access to speakers and network with other people like you.  

Or ….

You can learn from home on your computer watching it all unfold on a live stream. Let’s do this! Come learn with us. Let’s get smarter together. MEET YOUR SPEAKERS

VAN ELSWYK JAMES Spends 1M per month on Lead Gen MEDIA BUYING EXPERT AND CEO/FOUNDER OF PURPLE LEADS

James Van Elswyk has had a crazy journey from a one-man affiliate to now overseeing 30 full-time employees. He started by following his instinct and moved to Israel to be closer to a Facebook office. He then trained a team of media buyers that spend up to a million a month on Facebook and natives per year.

With a background in teaching sales people, as well as his own team, he started to share how he has built his team, how he optimizes and how he scales campaigns.

Seeing a hole in the market for relevant, actionable education he decided to create “learning by a learner” where it’s no fluff.

Just “copy and paste” techniques and the reasons they make him money.

JAKE 100M Instagram Followers FOUNDER OF FIGETLY

After he saw how cheap and effective the traffic was with influencer marketing, Jake made a huge leap, going “all in” on building both is own brands and helping other brands build a following.

He decided to move away from building “themed pages” towards helping personal brands grow their following. This led Jake to grow @cleverinvestors Instagram to 1 million followers in just under a year while driving revenue the entire time.

After spending time in the info space, Jake felt the bug to push products and after building a network of close to 100 million followers he was able to leverage that whenever a brand had need of it.

He’s become an expert at building themed influencers, micro-influencers and viral algorithm tricks. He was so successful that he made fidget spinners go viral and built the most well-known fidget spinner brand at 0-270k in just two months!

Leveraging the brand he built, Jake played a key role in getting Fidgetly’s big break into big-box retailers such as Best Buy, Target and Brook Stone.

As of today, he’s running million-dollar campaigns for up-and-coming brands through A-list and B-list celebrities.

SANDLIN RONNIE XX Million Spent on his words MASTER COPYWRITER

Ronnie Sandlin is a master copywriter who has built multiple 7-figure online businesses leveraging his high-level persuasion strategies.

His approach is to take advantage of evolutionary biology and create copy that makes his offers psychologically irresistible.

He’s taught countless people his effective and ethical strategies to creating copy that converts and creates sustainable windfall profits.

MR. X You will be shocked Mr. X began his career as a millennial consultant for PepsiCo Restaurants focused on filling their stores with younger families. He then began media buying on behalf of Apple’s team in Los Angeles and was a part of launching both the iPhone 7 and iPad Pro.

He co-founded and accelerated www.fidgetly.com (largely due to the trend and was the first to launch that initiative back in 2017) and then parlayed that into working with a big time DR team under Tim Burd and he now sits in a nice middle area between a great content/DR shop and a pure performance media buying team he’s been building.

His expertise is in ecommerce, mainly consumer goods, but is currently leaning towards consumables as he has seen firsthand how that plays a huge role in raising LTV. He is also working with 7 figure dropshipping brands as well as established brands like Pupsocks, 5.11 Tactical, Qalo, diffeyewear and many more. SETTING AND VIBE

April 21-22

USA, Las Vegas Book now April 14-15

USA, San Diego Book now The events will be in San Diego And Las Vegas and will be hosted in SICK Locations, where food and cocktails will flow freely throughout so we can just dig in and learn. GAIN ACCESS The emphasis here is on “luxury learning” Get super comfortable, cut off all distractions, make sure food and drink is covered and just learn untill we can’t any more.

Just bang away morning untill night. Open discussions on the events topics as well as talking about ANYHTING that’s relevant to media buying, making money online or whatever he has quality info on. SAN DIEGO – 4.14 & 4.15 – SOLD OUT

LAS VEGAS – 4.21 & 4.22 – SOLD OUT

UNLIMITED REPLAYS – AVAILABLE UNTIL SUNDAY STANDARD 2 DAY PASS VIP

$4399 48 hours packed with learning and discussion

Luxurious “worry about nothing” settings and attentive wait staff

Dinner and drinks throughout the day

Copies of all slides and spreadsheets

Free copy of highlight reel of the tour

Free copy of “testing mythology video” SOLD OUT

PLUS 2 DAY PASS PREMIUM

$7299 Stay-In Speaker Location – (full baller)

Full “best in class” accommodation

72 hours of luxurious “worry about nothing” settings and attentive wait staff

Meet and Greet Pre-Geekout dinner with Speakers

Breakfast Lunch Dinner Plus on demand Food and Cocktails

Full Bar for afterhours “Nugget Slip Sessions”

Final Q&A Breakfast and send off

Free Copy of highlight reel

Free Copy of testing protocols SOLD OUT

UNLIMITED REPLAYS

$899 Online access to the training

48 hours packed with learning

Copies of all slides and spreadsheets

Free copy of highlight reel

Free copy of testing protocols *Live stream of San Diego is sold out BUY NOW 100%, NO QUESTIONS ASKED, TAKE-IT-TO-THE-BANK “I’M NO GURU GUARANTEE” If you try the techniques, or use the networking you learn and it’s doesn’t pay for the event or live stream

WE DON’T WANT YOUR DAMN MONEY GAIN ACCESS There are 3 reasons I Am ok with such a crazy return policy

1 I have an ethics and pride, a good product, and I’m already make money doing as opposed to teaching. I’d rather refund someone then feel I did someone wrong or have some have a bad opinion of me.

2 I know my shit. I teach my employees to make me money using these techniques and methods. So, I know it works and I know how to teach it.

3 I don’t talk “out my ass” by giving poorly researched opinions. If I don’t know something I simply say “I don’t know.”

If I’m profitable in an area of media buying or business but not best in class I don’t feel I am qualified to charge for my advice.

I will only discuss ideas or theories where I have already spent strong money and have firsthand high-level experience. DON’T FUCK THIS UP HERE PAY ATTENTION THIS EVENT WONT HAPPEN AGAIN

NOT EVERYONE WILL BE ALLOWED TO ATTEND GAIN ACCESS HERE ARE SOME REAL DOWNSIDES IF YOU DON’T GO OR AREN’T ACCEPTED You will feel left out. There will constant posting and follow up videos not to mention people who are talking about new ideas and methods to make money you missed out on. You will miss out on ways to make more money then you are now and will likely regret you didn’t go and maybe even hold some blame to whoever or whatever caused you to miss it. Other People (your competitors) are getting an edge on you and in online advertising the edge is everything You will feel like you missed out on being a part of a group of 20 people just like you who understand your frustrations and goals. You won’t be part of the skype chats and meetups this new tribe will have after the event as everyone tries and tests and finds winners. P.S

Let’s make it 3 simple ways you will feel after the event Relaxed because you chilled for 2 days in luxury learning with one of top marketers today whose dedicating his time to only 20 people for 2 days Pleased that you’re Learning the info that has been escaping you because you haven’t had the access to inside Info that will shared there Thankful you can ask any DAMN question you want (finally!) So Don’t wait or procrastinate because KNOW THIS – It will sell out very soon and won’t be done again GAIN ACCESS

Purple Knowledge Lab – Don’t F*ck This Up posted first on premiumwarezstore.blogspot.com

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