#i HAVE to stress that he is just nervous at being in the vicinity of a powerful villain in this scenario

[mettywiththenotes]

Rody and Tomura being the only “bad” characters Izuku saved/wants to save is so funny to me on account of the fact that one was a criminal who was providing for his little siblings while the other is a murderer and in fact one of the biggest villains in the world. Can you imagine if they met?

Like imagine Rody is going to visit Izuku in Japan, ready to see the guy who helped him, who gave him - an ex-criminal who he probably shouldn’t have even been working with at the time that they met - a chance

As he is greeting Izuku, he also runs into Tomura Shigaraki THE famous Villain who is kind of tagging along like a recently adopted rescue dog learning to trust again. Izuku introduces Tomura, as if he needs it

Rody slowly turns to Izuku, eyes wide, “Deku, I knew that you could befriend anyone. It just makes sense given how hopeful you are. But a Villain?”

Izuku laughs, “It’s a little more complicated than that, Rody. Besides, weren’t YOU once working against the law?”

“Yeah but THE NUMBER ONE VILLAIN THOUGH??”

[figula]

anyway i just need to get through saturday (the wedding party w/ ben's fam) without a public meltdown + then things will calm down a bit. this is actually not true bc its my birthday on the 26th and then my sister comes to stay for a few days on the 27th but at least that's quieter than a 40-50 people get together. im so sad about it, i feel feral and crazed by the idea of being looked at again, i feel much worse about it than i did about the actual wedding, i think bc last year i was fresh on the starving high + this year i have not been starving myself at all and feel generally shittier

also obviously bc i was already dreading it my period started tonight so. that's great as well!! love to wear a fucking white dress in those circumstances x i told ben i would wear the dress for like half an hr then im putting on my normal clothes and that's that. and he wasnt bothered by this, i think he is having similar thoughts anyway about the whole thing except i think he is looking forward to it more bc a) he doesnt ahve an eating disorder and b) he likes his family

on the plus side my hip has been muuuch more reliable lately, the last few times ive done the walk to and from town it's been achy by the end of it but not at all going into the spasms of agony it did basically every time i tried to walk anywhere longer than half an hr (and sometimes less if it was a bad day)

also not sure i even mentioned this here but a bunch of intl friends are coming 2 worcester late sept to hang out, first time since the wedding for the americans (and the german) and it is gonna be really nice to see them :) obviously im anxious about it bc of my irritating nature but how amazing that we have a group of people who are literally flying across the world to hang out with us for a week. that is really lovely and worth celebrating. trying to be ok about the fact i havent lost any more weight since the wedding and just being like. normal about seeing my friends who dont care how much i weigh

oh also. one more thing, my mum said to me "do you know who met for the first time at [location of wedding party]?" and i immediately felt that i DID know and was like - not daddy's parents?? and she was like i knew you inherited my Psychic Abilities :) but it was them - which is a bit funny. i hope their rancid vibes have cleared out by now bc they were bad people lol

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

First I must make it clear that I came for Yves, stayed for Cyprus, and found Mont to be my true love. And Blanche as my confusing friend in the midst.

As a new fan that has been searching through this all, my knowledge isn't the best but I'm trying.

Yves is so interesting but also expansive that I'm having a bit of a hard time grasping it all. He's your personification of infallible unconditional love that people can display right? The mother of mothers.

Yet I can't find myself wanting to be open or close to him even with the knowledge that he won't judge me or that he'll take care of me like I dream of. Almost like I'm expecting him to be this way because I'm already viewing him in that parental role since I can't find mysel liking him romantically.

In contrast the thought of Cyprus doing the chores and cooking like in the Yandere coworker series, it gives me a warm giddy feeling like most yanderes would for me. Because I view him in a more romantic light.

I think that says a lot about how he's written and portrayed subconsciously by you. Since I read about him hating children and pets making me decide not to pursue him romantically it made me view all the other works of him differently.

But what I also found jarring due to that view is the first chapter of [the best and worst of both worlds] where he's so flirty and fun while the reader is this nervous failure in response.

From what I've seen Yves wants to mother and while you did say he would change himself for the reader, he wouldn't upheaval himself.

So what does he do when the reader is someone who wants to mother someone else, much like that one ask about Yves being a monster in law against Monty.

Now that was Yves just not being with reader and reader already with Monty. So if [tbawobw] (I'm sorry lol) had a far more put together reader that didn't stalk or fawn over Yves, how would he go about getting their attention?

Another thing I want to question is about Yves with a guarded reader. Now we know that he's 'okay' (debatable) with a reader that just chooses to keep him as a friend. And that if reader would hate who Yves is as a person, he would manipulate the environment to get their views to broaden before approaching.

But Yves with a reader who is very friendly, warm and caring to everyone but will not get close to them. Texts are dry, conversations never steer into Reader's personal life, such questions get obviously ignored or clearly told 'I'm not comfortable with that' and reader keeps even family apart mentally from their inner thoughts and feelings.

Now Yves has all the info, he's Yves but it means nothing if he can't get the reader to actually open up to him even when they do meet. They could be near homeless and still say 'I'll be fine, [insert clear conversation chang].'

Sure he can gift them all the money and gifts, they'll accept and use it. Only telling him that they used it wisely and appreciated his kindness before keeping the convo minimal. The kind of reader that has no shame in telling Yves that they feel uncomfortable with his amount/type of questions and/or visits.

So let's say he drives them into a corner, not too traumatizing but enough so that reader is forced in his vicinity when they breakdown from stress. He comforts them, reassures them, helps them and what happens?

The exact same thing. And if he does ask why they won't let him of all people close even when he is the first person that reader has broke down in front of, the response he gets is a 'I have never seen you become as unstable as I was in front of you. That dynamic felt unfair and uneven so I'd rather us return to our old one where we both were equals without faults.' and they just end it saying they understand if Yves doesn't want to be friends anymore.

What does he do then? He won't break down, he promised himself after all he's been through. So faking a breakdown won't work but just telling false information doesn't work either. Anymore traumatizing could be permanent too.

Yves could just use his drugs and subtle mind control thing that I'm still not really sure how it works, to nudge reader to accept his kindness. But we've seen it with Yandere Brother before, where some people are stubborn enough to require direct methods. Reader could have that same mental fortitude.

AND we all know this situation would be killing Yves, as he loves to coddle and mother reader. Would sending anyone ahead of himself before they meet even work? Only Yves would have the means necessary to make reader break down and someone else comforting them, someone who does break down in front of reader too making it 'equal' earning Reader's trust and closeness would only backfire.

Because now Reader would have someone to turn to for their emotional needs. Even if Yves killed that person off, Reader would just grow even colder to everyone outside of themself.

If he went the drugging then it goes back to reader continuously only giving in when having breakdowns/being drugged. Both which are harmful long term. And mainly that reader isn't truly turning to Yves out of their own violation but out of habit. It becomes emotionless, almost like a chore. They find no real comfort in Yves fixing their problem or caring for them or being with them. The true reader is even more guarded to him.

I feel like this dynamic would be very depressing for him, this situation in whole would be triggering Yves motherly instincts on full throttle while not letting him do as he wishes to help.

But yeah I only know so much so if there's another ask that goes on this road just link it for me please. If not, I would love to hear your take on how Yves would handle it.

Shifting to another point of Yves, lets rewind to how Yves actually feels not being readers partner. We know he won't date them if they can't handle not having sex or not being faithful.

He becomes the monster in law but there's 3 specific post that I really want to focus on. 1 - how Yves reacts to a respectful reader that ends the relationship 2nd date due to the sex. 2 - how he reacts to Monty being the husband. 3 - a post about how being just the friend is killing Yves in the inside. [the one comparing him to Pearl from SU]

So going for 1, in the post Yves is all 'okay' and smiles and just wants to be close with reader. And it's very clear that reader would have dated Yves if not for the sex. Yves vets all the possible partners for the future and only allows the one that fits his standards to stay.

But then it all comes crashing down when we get to 2.

This scenario doesn't touch on how the timing between Reader meeting Yves and Monty. It seems to imply that the whole sex thing wasn't a factor.

As previously stated, he feels that Monty is bad and absolutely nothing good but Yves pushes himself to get along somewhat with Monty to make reader happy. Monty is a yandere and honestly? A big variable at first since Monty's obsession with reader is pure chance.

So if reader is more put together then [tbawobw] leading to a more subby and controllable Monty making them much more compatible without Yves romantically in the mix. Reader could get attached and start dating Monty before Yves can gather enough info against Monty that ultimately doesn't matter because all Monty cares about is reader.

(and my computer is dying, I should speed this up)

Now in the 2 post, Yves has this breakdown about why reader didn't want to be with Yves in all his perfection and instead went with Monty who is his opposite. He says that they could have chosen someone better.

But what exactly does that mean for Yves?

Now on the surface it's just that Yves really wants reader to have the best possible and be well taken care of since Yves can't be their partner due to sex. But that isn't really how he feels. If reader chose a 'good husband' Yves could at least pretend like it doesn't bother him much.

But he just can't with Mont, not with the differences between them. Yves glaring hatred for not being readers husband, for having it taken from him in general is made so obvious and that. That right there is what's pushing him to breaking down in the form that he hates.

Post 3 confirms it all. But it doesn't bring up the topic of sex. Something that he already has so much trauma with. It's hard not to bring up some self loathing even though Yves (rightfully) wouldn't change his boundaries.

So in the worst case scenario, a guarded reader that I described above, rejects Yves respectfully due to the sexual incompatibility, proceeds to open up naturally to MONT and marry him keeping Yves always as a friend at best.

Just how deep in hell is his life? Would something like this expose new actions from Yves? I, uh, do have one more thing about Yves but I think I should just send it like this. It's long enough.

W anon

holy shit W anon u put the W in win bro

a WHOLE ASS THESIS omg thank u so much i love analyses holy crap like a whole well structured and well written essay on Yves's character and his complex feelings of being cucked

ultimately he wants you to be happy, but technically faking breakdowns can work if he does it convincingly enough. His breakdowns will never be about his TRUE past traumas. He thinks you're too delicate and innocent to handle that without accidentally traumatizing yourself too. HOWEVER, he may give you very ,very watered down concepts of what had happened to him- or downright fake events.

He would stage slips of sanities strategically and breakdowns too to coax you out of that shell. But not too much to raise suspicion out of you. Just enough to manipulate you into thinking he can be anything less than perfect. Remember, he's a terrific actor. Anything vulnerable about Yves is probably not real and is probably a highly calculated move

but yes, let's say you rolled a nat 20 on perception checks every time and you caught his bullshit, and he KNOWS that you will catch onto it, AND you fell in love with Monty because he's not fancy pants rich mcgee.... its spirituality and religion time. He will be literally doing black magic rituals just to keep himself in check, he knows that it probably won't help, but this is just for him to not fall into the abyss of despair and insanity, just to retain his sense of self in a reality that loves to erode it exponentially.

so basically, rule of thumb for Yves: if it's anything that he cannot solve without either destroying his boundaries or destroying your happiness, he's drawing those fucking sigils on his attic floor with his blood, lighting candles n shit (just like when you want to die while suffering from dementia, but he keeps you alive because he's selfish)

[mmmfanfiction]

i KNOW you JUST posted more flippy legit yesterday but I love him so much we need more (if/when you want) maybe one with a s/o that has anxiety or has sensory issues???

We really do need more Flippy x reader, and I’m sorry for getting this to you several days late, it was a great idea! ❤️

🧸As soon as Flippy figures out you have anxiety he gets nervous he makes it worse, like, for gods sake he’s stuck in a body with Fliqpy!

🧸He really doesn’t want you to be scared of him.

🧸To be fair I think he feels this way in all the relationships he’s in, platonic or not, but it’s turned up to ten now.

🧸He really cares for and loves you, and he doesn’t want you to get hurt because of him.

🧸Because of this I think Flippy might enter a small period where he distances yourself from you.

🧸But as soon as he sees that it’s making you more distraught he instantly stops and tells you why he did that.

🧸Which your understanding of, but theirs gonna need to be a lot of reassurance that you don’t think he’s a monster.

🧸Flippy tries to keep you away from anything that triggers your anxiety. He wants you to feel safe around him.

🧸On that note, he also keeps you away from anything that could trigger your sensory issues. 

🧸Squishy disgusting sound? He’s covering your ears immediately. 

🧸Certain types of fabric? He’s knitting you the same shirt in a more acceptable texture. 

🧸Strong smell that makes you go eeeeghhhh? Removes the object or you as quick as possible. 

🧸Bright flashing lights? Hugs your face into him.

🧸He does his best to make sure you’re A, Not scared of him and B, comfortable and not stressed.

Fliqpy

🔪Tbh at the beginning Fliqpy thinks that your anxiety and sensory issues is a bit of a weakness.

🔪He’s kinda mean about it too.

🔪But after a while he starts to shed that way of thinking a bit, seeing how negatively his words and actions affect you.

🔪Don’t get me wrong he’s still a bit of a dick about it but he’s way more understanding.

🔪If something’s making you anxious best believe that thing is exiting your vicinity as quick as possible, whether it be by intimidation or force. 

🔪And if it’s a person? Well let’s just say you’re never going to see them again.

🔪As for sensory issues (because I cannot make a smooth transition for the life of me) it really depends on what it is.

🔪If it’s like, a loud noise then the best he can do is cover your ears till it stops, or let you leave while he finishes up whatever you guys where doing there, like if you were in a grocery store or something.

🔪If it’s like a certain texture of like a shirt or something he’s just kinda like “Then return it dumbass” 

🔪Fliq is really fucking awkward with it too.

🔪He’s not really used to this kind of stuff so when he stops being a dick about it he’s just like 🧍

🔪It takes a while for him to figure out what to do, but he’s trying his best.

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

how do you feel about soulmate aus? thinking about stede and ed meeting each other and realizing they're soulmates. and probably being a little scared about it, because stede sees himself as an unlikable weirdo who ruins everything and ed sees himself as a monster who also ruins everything, and they're both like "this guy seems nice I don't wanna ruin his life :(" (I also enjoy self-hate driven angst mua ha ha)

Oh I loooooove some soulmate AU stuff!!

I definitely had some soulmates vibes going on with Dear Ed, Again, and I put a lot of thought into how they'd react to it in that one and I think it holds up. I genuinely actually think that Ed would find the thought of being soulmates with Stede comforting. Like, he's had to fight tooth and nail for everything else, and he's been so miserable for so long - isn't it nice, to think that all that pain was leading up to something wonderful? I do think that Ed would worry about Stede being "stuck" with him but on the whole? It would be a relief for him to have something that he didn't have to work so hard for.

But Stede? Oh 100% it would freak him right the fuck out. While it would feel like a relief for Ed to just have something wonderful given to him for the first time in his life, I think Stede would dislike the very idea for the inverse reasoning. Stede has had a lot of privilege handed to him in his life, and a lot of it was conditional and he was made to feel awful for even having it. He's also historically been very bad at doing what he's supposed to do, so that's another level of stress right there. I think he'd think the idea of a love that you have to work at, the idea of loving someone on purpose, to be much more meaningful, and he'd be terrified about pulling a Stede Bonnet and fucking it up.

Now I'm imagining a classic soulmate AU where they find each other's names on their skin or something. And Ed is ELATED, he's beside himself, he's thought for so long someone like him could NEVER have a soulmate and now he has one!!! And then the rest of the AU is about how Stede bolted like a nervous greyhound and he has to learn that he's not going to ruin Ed's life just by Being Stede Bonnet in his vicinity

[ruinaimagines]

Hello, hello! Quite happy to see you back, was getting a bit worried seeing you be inactive for so long! That aside I was curious what your thoughts would be on how the Sephirah would react to an employee teaching nothing there to shitpost!

These poor poor sephirah… And thank you for the concern! I assure you that even if I depart I am likely a-okay. This was a fun one, hope you enjoy

Sephirah Reacting to an Employee teaching Nothing There to Shitpost Headcanons:

Malkuth would be absolutely baffled upon hearing whatever ungodly things you taught this aleph to mutter. It’s enough to make even a workaholic like her freeze in her tracks with sheer confusion. Why.. Did you teach it to say that?? She imagined that an employee capable of repeatedly working with such dangerous abnormalities would be a bit more mature.. Her assumption was wrong. She might scold you a bit but I think she’s too fascinated with it to actually care too much. Usually she always has something to say.. But this? No words. Kind of thinks some of the bizarre things you taught it to say are funny but would never admit that because she does not want to tarnish her attempts at being the prime sephirah.

Lord, I think you would send Yesod into cardiac arrest. Probably calls for a meeting to figure out who’s responsible for this and chastises their immature behavior being unbefitting of a corporate employee. It depends on how good you are at keeping a poker face because his pure seriousness about this is absolutely priceless. You’d think he was yelling at you for kicking his dog or something. Sighs with a really stressed tone and probably utters something under his breath as the meeting ends. If you are found out you’re likely going to get a huge scolding and have to work overtime. It’s worth it though.

Hod is sort of nervous first and foremost because she is concerned about the safety and potential repercussions you can experience for training an abnormality in such a way. After seeing how much fun it is for you though she’d support it considering the place is usually so dark and dreary.. It’s a nice contrast to see some people enjoying themselves. Doesn’t understand half of the things the meat dog is saying, but over time you may find she is gradually developing a quiet sense of humor towards the stupid things you do.

Netzach helps you. He does not care at all for this place, let alone formality, so you can guarantee he’s probably making his own suggestions. Also finds it funny to see Yesod so distressed over this. He doesn’t really interact with the abnormality itself but he will cover for you if you need it, implying it's someone else or even taking the blame altogether just so you can get away with it. You two are a devious duo and there is an impending sense of dread whenever you are in the vicinity. This is pretty much the only time he puts effort into planning things out and it’s all for some dumb humor. Definitely have inside jokes.

Tiphereth is like Yesod but worse. Huffs about how she’s the child yet you keep acting like one, doesn’t get half of the things Nothing There says but immediately knows it’s something bad, and can always tell when you are plotting something. If you work in her department with the abnormality, she has on multiple times threatened to move you out, and has even gone through with it once. It somehow does not stop you. Stares at you with the intensity of 50 suns the moment you have the audacity to step in the slightest direction of Nothing There. She has scrounged every single part of the corporation’s terms and conditions to find some rule you’re violated, and made multiple reports on why you can not keep getting away with this. Only Yesod really agrees.

Chesed is thoroughly entertained by this. He may not outright participate like Netzach, but he silently encourages it by urging you to continue telling your stories. Most of the time he’s just sitting around doing work in his office so he’s not going to say no to something new. Doesn’t really take part in your scheming but always knows when something is done because of Tiphereth, it’s his alarm that you’re up to trouble. Has hosted you in his department to hide away from the others like a fugitive before.

Gebura hates abnormalities. She does not understand why you are doing this, especially when it poses an unnecessary threat to your own safety. Overall views abnos like Nothing There as detestable creatures incapable of domestic feats like training. That said, hearing it cuss out and insult employees –even sephirah– at times is pretty funny. It says things that no man working there would ever have the courage to, and that bluntness is laughable at times. She believes that if you are going to mess around with it somehow then this is one of the least awful ways.

Hokma is too tired for this man. He’s old and too caught up in philosophical ramblings. Doesn’t necessarily tell you to stop, but if you bring it up he will turn it into what feels like a 4 hour session dissecting the implications that’s vaguely reminiscent of when grandparents go ‘back in my day’ and proceed to verbally produce an essay. You’ll be asleep by the time he’s finished and remind yourself to never directly approach him about it again. I think he would let you off easy because he totally would have thought about doing this when he was younger.

Binah’s reaction is completely incomprehensible. You’d think by the way she was staring you down with an ominous aura that she was unimpressed by your childish attempts at playing around. You couldn’t be more wrong. She is going to cease an opportunity to mess with people at any point, and will directly help you with getting Nothing There to shitpost. You think Netzach would plan things out? She has a full schedule that she presents to you to optimize the teaching process, carefully plotted out with graphs and condensed sheets of paper. You will figure out how to make it speak full sentences bordering on some revolutionary discovery all because it’s humorous. No one knows she is helping you because she is so good at keeping it hidden behind a neutral look on her face. No one would dare question Binah after all, not with her intimidating composure, which makes it so easy for her to take part (not even you initially thought she would go along with this). It’s a secret alliance between you two.

[cariciapadre]

Here’s my head cannons

Caricias def is scared of what others will think cus I know he’s at least bi so this makes him have anxiety

caricias drink tea and chill axes with his boyfriend(s) and watches his fav movie (the mlp movie for sure he’s that type of guy)

I think padre would have anxiety too but hide it well from others except caricias and I think they are both Neurodivergent (I have autism) and I think they would have their fav stim or squish toys to help them padre def squishes his stress toy whenever he gets too fired up while doing sermons or church stuff I dunno I don’t have a religion except for the caricias and padre cult

if they don’t have their stim toys in the vicinity the just flap their hands or pinch and scratch at old wounds on their hands kicks legs when sitting down

bonus:

caricias gets hot when he goes to bed he’s a sweaty bear and padre gets cold so blankets going on and off and frustraited cuddling occurs (with graham being in the center :3) padre def wears a standered pj sett but caricias it’s just the tank top and boxers for him beacuse like I said he gets sweaty he has to take a shower when he wakes up graham and padre too cus caricias sweated on them

padre def is a male wife I dunno why or how he just is

graham I feel would be…..how do I say this a crack head…..i mean like a ‘I’m going to chug two monster energy’s and jump off this bridge’ kinda crack head he def always seems tired woozy and drunk for me personally

hope you enjoy the hcs :3

THE GRAHAM INCLUSION IN THE HCS YES LORDDD AUGH SOME APPRECIATION OF MY BABY

TO ME I THINK PADRE PULLS AT HIS CLOTHES IF HES FEELIN LIKE , OVERWHELMED OR SM like nervous he'll tug on his robe slightly . and Caricias fs bounces his leg . But thats more of like an adhd thing than an anxiety thing id say HEKNEKWNDJEJE

also i HAVE to draw caricias , graham and padre all sleepin together now ..,,, U DID THIS TO ME !!!!

Graham would fucking explode into pixie dust just sniffing a monster energy drink , despite his woozy appearance he's actually just a goofy guy . I'd say he's a crackhead in a way of like .. " how much you wana bet if i hop on that soldiers back i could stay on for more than 5 seconds like a rodeo " .. even then his ass won't do it hes just a jokey guy HES A JOKSTA !!! AHHHHHHH IM HAPPY U LIKE GRAHAM ENUF TO INCLUDE HIM IN UR HCS WAHHHHH

[hersheythecure]

I almost lost today.

988

Called them and they sent a live counselor out to me. I went to a pace I feel safe and that's a Cafe. They met me there.

It was so hard. Getting to that point. I haven't had suicidal ideations In a while. But this is the season that they show up. Especially with everything we have going on.

I was so scared. I have to fight Frantic who's tye trauma holder for everyone. She feels like all the trauma in our nervous system and each separate part is an extension of her. The visual is insane in my mind. They're all hurting. But one thing for sure when she sends me that it's because we need help that is nowhere in our vicinity. It's when my brain realizes if we don't reach out we're going to take our life. She's combating the trauma alters who's adolescent outlet is death.

We literally have Noone. Lmaooo

All the questions. Were. No. Who can change your tire or take you somewhere? No one.

Who can you call? No one

Who can you ask for money from ? No one

Is there anyone here that you can ask for help? Nope

Any relatives? 2.5 hrs away so nope

I literally said roadside assistance is who I'd have rk call. Atleast I can afford that right?

If I was broke I'd be dead as fuck. Thank you brain for securing our Financials.

It's sad that if you're broke youre just dead. Buttttt 988. Please no matter how broke you are reach out. It's free. Verify. If you need them to email you that it's free have them do that. They sent two ladies out to meet me. Get my history and provide support as well as resources. Ones the VA doesn't even have or give. Smh.

I explained my symptoms and what I need. What is happening in my life. And where the stressor are.

My mom is not the person to call when I'm suicidal due to the inexperience with mental illnesses and disorders. But she's the only one that answered which I'm still so fortunate that she did. Almost took me out though. She made me feel like everything I did was wrong in relation to coparenting. Even when my social worker said otherwise. It sucks I can't count on my family for the advice i need because they don't have the info to respond In a supportive way. It suckssssss. I realized that my family was causing conflict in my mind. They have such a power over my mind because they are my ONLY support. The pull is strong. On my parts. But something the counselor said helped. Isolating yourself and cutting yourself off like Caribbean and black people encourage is actually the opposite and causes more harm. You cannot heal in isolation. And now I have to just he by myself mentally. I can only get support on a level I don't need it. I can't be myself or explain my pain because I can't pray this away. Wtffff. I just want healthy balck and Caribbean people who've dealt with their mental health and can give me advice. Damn. But that's not many per what? White supremacy.

And I'm glad the white counselor stated the disparities between black communities and mental health.

I am so exhausted. So exhausted. But so glad they sent someone to help me. Too much emotional stress. And no support. Online is nice when I'm not in distress. But like a bitch need a hug and I git no one. I remember when I was religious and I'd beg God to come down and hug me. To take this pain away and you know what, he didn't. And here I am feeling the same without believing in any God. Definitely shows me it's all just fluff. Words.

I am alive.

I am hoping to get some emdr. It'll help manage the symptom that is dissociation.

Im not dying.

I always go and check myself in if it feels like my body is being hijacked to suicide. It's happened before. But I'm better at detecting since having my son. He really saved my life.

[hufflepuffwithaslytherinkink]

Tacenda - Chapter 35 Snippet

After lunch Joe gets up to walk Eleanor to class but Harry immediately takes his place, they have charms together and he suggests Eleanor walks with him, Ron and Hermione. To save Joe and Ben being late to yet another class.

Joe reluctantly agrees watching them walk away with a furrowed brow. She hates seeing him so worried, he’s her little brother he shouldn’t care about things like this he should be running off to throw a quaffle or sharing jokes with his friends or whatever it is teenage boys do.

“He’ll be alright you know.” Harry says quietly. Eleanor turns to stare at him with a questioning look. “Joe. He’s just worried, I’ll make sure he keeps busy with quidditch and keeps his head down.”

Eleanor shoots him a grateful smile. “Thank you.”

She’s glad Harry is the quidditch captain, he genuinely cares about his team and knowing he’s looking out for Joe makes her relax a little.

“I personally think he’s right.” Ron states. “I don’t like Ginny having a boyfriend, never mind if boys were drooling over her.”

Eleanor’s stomach drops at the reminder. She hears Ron let out a hiss as both Harry and Hermione smack his arm.

“What? It’s true.” Ron protest rubbing his arm with a scowl.

Harry clears his throat before changing the subject. “It’s going to be interesting to practice reductor, I wonder how we’ll do it.”

“I’m sure there’ll be measures put in place.” Hermione starts to ponder animatedly. “Surely we can’t just randomly throw out curses, what if we hit someone or destroyed half the wall?”

“I could hit Malfoy.” Ron muses with a small smile. “Hit him right between the eyes.”

“Yeah, shame we aren’t sharing this class with the Slytherin’s this year.” Harry snorts.

“We can’t hit someone with it.” Hermione admonishes them, her voice stressed like she’s had to have these conversations way too many times. “It could seriously hurt someone, maybe even kill them.”

“Slytherins don’t count Hermione.” Ron tells her offhandedly.

Hermione shoots Eleanor a nervous glance before scowling at Ron. “That’s a horrid thing to say, I’m sure not all Slytherins are bad.”

Ron and Harry stop and stare at her with an incredulous look.

“Hermione, please tell me you’re joking.” Ron exclaims.

“Yeah, you’ve seen what they’re like. How they treat other people.” Harry protests with a deep frown.

“No, I’m not. I think we judge people too easily, just because there are people like Malfoy in Slytherin doesn’t mean everyone in Slytherin is as bad as him.” Hermione states setting her jaw.

Eleanor watches anxiously, glad Hermione’s sticking up for Slytherins. She hates hearing Harry and Ron saying they’re all bad, it makes her feel sick especially considering Theo is one of the most sensitive people she knows.

“Okay, I’ll give you that. They’re not as bad as Malfoy but that doesn’t make them good.” Harry tells her.

Eleanor chews her cheek, she hates hearing Harry talk like that. He’s usually so nice to everyone. She feels like she has to say something but before she can they enter the charms classroom and Zacharias bounds up to her with a cheery grin.

“Elle.” He greets her. “How are you?”

Eleanor stares at him in shock, did he know what happened? Harry gives her a nervous look.

“I- I’m good thanks.” She tells him licking her lips nervously.

“Good, I’m glad. Should we go and sit down?” He says nodding towards their table.

Eleanor goes to agree when Ron speaks up.

“Oh hello Ronald, how are you? Better before you entered the vicinity Smith but thank you for asking. How are you and your massive ego?” Ron snaps sarcastically. She can see Harry trying to hide his laughter as Zacharias gives them an unimpressed look.

“I’m fine thank you Weasley. But considering me being in your vicinity offends you so much me and Elle are going to vacate it.” He says putting a hand on Eleanor’s back.

She freezes at the unexpected touch, yet her shock at the sudden action allows him to easily guide her away. She watches as Harry takes an angry step towards them but Hermione stops him from saying something, giving him a warning look as she mutters quietly to both him and Ron.

Eleanor’s glad she stopped Harry from creating a scene but she’s curious to know what Hermione’s telling them. She’s so distracted trying to see what they’re doing she doesn’t realise they’ve reached their desk until Zacharias removes his hand and moves to stand in front of her.

“Sorry about that.” He tells her softly, gesturing towards Ron. “I didn’t think it was a good idea to get into an argument. I’m trying to control my temper.”

Eleanor stares at him wondering if that’s true before scolding herself. She shouldn’t doubt that he’s trying to improve his temper, or that he’s got a secret motive for being the bigger person.

She shoots him a small smile. “It’s okay, Ron’s a hot head too. He says what he thinks. I’m glad you walked away.”

Zacharias gives her a genuine smile, his eyes sparkling as he stares down at her.

“Yeah, well I hated how I-.” He breaks off clearing his throat nervously before glancing at her sheepishly. “How I treated you. I regret it so much and wonder if maybe I’d kept my cool things might have been different between us.”

Eleanor’s mouth drops open slightly. Was he still interested in her? Did he think there was a chance something might happen?

“Zac.” She starts with an apologetic tone but he holds his hands up stopping her from continuing.

“Don’t worry, this isn’t me begging you for another chance, though I wouldn’t turn one down, this is me realising how badly I fucked up and putting things in place to make sure it doesn’t happen again.” He tells her and Eleanor smiles at him sincerely.

She’s glad he’s trying to be a better person, it’ll be good for him as well as other people.

“I’m glad.” She smiles. “Should we sit down?”

Zacharias stares at the chairs with a bewildered look before smiling self-consciously and dropping into his chair. Eleanor taking the seat beside him.

“So have you got any plans tonight?” Zacharias asks her.

“Yeah I’ve got another astronomy projects, so I’ll be on the tower for a few hours.” She tells him pulling her parchment from her bag.

“With Nott?” He inquires. Eleanor turns to him suspiciously, how did he know she worked with Theo?

“Yes.” She answers scrutinising his face. “How did you know we worked together?”

Zacharias raises his eyebrows at her. “Because he attacked you in the Three Broomsticks because you weren’t doing the work right.”

Oh shit yeah that. Eleanor blushes a little at her obvious mistake, that was what Theo said but he never attacked her, it was a disagreement over Eleanor going on a date with Zacharias to make him jealous. Her blush deepens at that thought, her stomach churning with guilt.

“Yeah that.” She mutters. “He’s not really like that though, it was strange.”

“Really?” Zacharias questions. “What’s he like?”

Eleanor has to stop herself from grinning as she thinks to get nights on the astronomy tower and the private moments they’ve shared together.

“I guess he’s… civil.” She answers, significantly downplaying how great he is.

“Civil.” Zacharias says curiously. “Is that why he calls you Eleanor?”

“I guess.” Eleanor responds starting to worry about where this was going.

Zacharias nods. “I guess that’s a good thing. His sort doesn’t usually act well towards muggle borns. I’m glad he’s decent, even if his manners need improving. Do you call him Theo?”

Eleanor startles at the question. “Um, sometimes. We tend to stick to surnames but occasionally first names slip out. I think it’s bound to happen when spending so much time with someone.”

Zacharias hums watching her carefully. “I guess so.” He turns to her with a dazzling smile. “I could always come and chaperone if you’re worried.”

Eleanor almost grimaces at the thought. “Thanks but there’s no need to worry honestly.”

“Okay.” Zacharias tells her pleasantly. “But you can ask me whenever you want.”

“It’s Friday night.” Eleanor says. “Don’t you have plans?”

Zacharias rests his elbow on the table, placing his head in his hand as he stares at her. “Nothing I can’t change for you.”

Eleanor blushes at his words. So he was trying to get back into dating.

“Not in a creepy way.” He quickly amends. “I just meant I’m here if you need me.”

Thankfully Professor Flitwick saves her from having to answer as he walks to the front of the class and starts the lesson. Eleanor sitting rigidly, unable to relax as she thinks over Zacharia’s words.

They spend most of the lesson going through the theory and safety precautions, no practical session this time thankfully or Eleanor might have taken half the school out she’s so distracted.

As they gather their things to head to their next class Zacharias stands beside her desk.

“Do you want to walk to Herbology together?” He asks her with trepidation.

Eleanor looks up at him with wide eyes. Merlin, he’s extremely tall when she’s sat down.

“Um, yeah okay.” She agrees, unable to think of a reason why she can’t walk with him. She throws the rest of her belongings into her bag before standing up and making her way towards the exit with him.

[magnoliabloomfield]

Ok so like, it’s not that i dislike Eddie Munson, i like him, but i don’t get the deep undying love for him and maybe it’s because I’m anxious.

When Dustin and Mike try to tell him about Lucas’ game and can they postpone it, they have a hard time being direct with him because they are nervous about how he is going to react. They have to tiptoe around unpredictability.

There are definitely times where making a certain person uncomfortable is the right thing to do, but making anyone in your vicinity uncomfortable just because you want to is kind of a-hole behavior. If the blond, clean cut basketball boy was the same way y’all would hate his guts. If the blond had that conversation with Chrissy in the woods and did all that you’d think he’s so cringe.

Eddie is an Alt Chad, if you traded DND for basketball, and Metalica for Bon Jovi or whatever, trade Dustin for Chrissy, and take into account how they both get in front of people and make big speeches they’re more alike than they are different.

Eddie is still better, obvi, but like, i know if I knew a person irl like him I couldn’t handle spending a lot of time with them, I’d be stressed, I’d be looking for every microscopic change in emotion or sign of outburst, I’d be on my toes and end up exhausted.

But i guess the beautiful thing about it all is that no matter what there are going to be people out there who will like you or love you. That is pretty great.

[littlefreya]

The Burnt Rose

Prompt:  

Imagine you're a Victorian woman and somehow end up betrothed to Sherlock. It was not your doing, but you are not unhappy about it because he seems respectful, polite and rather gentle, on top of being incredibly handsome.BUT as soon as you get married and you are his, he changes completely and he becomes a dark, primal beast with you.

Pairing: Sherlock Holmes x Female Reader (2nd person pov)

Word count: 1k

Warnings: 18+, smut, Dub!Con, deflowering, rough possessive primal sex, biting, arranged marriage, breeding kink, creampie.  

*No permission is given for reposting my work, copying it, ideas or parts it and claiming it as your own

A/N: Thank you lovely anon for this amazing prompt. I was having an emotionally stressful day and writing this one-shot helped me deal with my pain. I do love writing about the darkness in Sherlock, so this was great to work on. Many thanks to @agniavateira​ my close friend and muse who beta’d this story.

Title: The Burnt Rose

It could have been worse; you could have been betrothed to an older, more gnarly-looking man. But Sherlock Holmes was nowhere near to being a burden on someone’s keen eye. Tall, intelligent, and indomitable, the detective carried himself with a pungent streak of authority that had its own alluring charm.

But then, it was the way he studied you before the wedding - a dark sparkle danced in his cerulean eyes and his lips curled into a wolfish grin as he stripped you with nothing but a glare.

Your very bones turned into glaciers beneath your skin. 

The wedding took place in his estate on a stormy autumn evening. Black candles and dark crimson roses shrouded the main hall, granting the vicinity an enchanting yet brooding atmosphere. Despite the murmur of distress in your chest, you couldn’t deny being drawn by the forbidden beauty—and perhaps, you were drawn to Sherlock too. Every time your eyes met, you were forced to stifle a shuddering sigh, apprehensive at the thought of what awaited you once he’d have you alone in his lair.

‘Will he be gentle?’

Once the guests left, the servants began cleaning and reorganising the house. Mr Holmes - now your husband - snatched you away like a rider mounted on a black stallion kidnapping a nymph. 

With his fingers ensnaring your wrist, he led you toward the bedroom. His quiet mien was severe as if he was on his way to perform a dutiful task. Dragging behind him with your feet almost floating in the air, your gut wove and your heart strained against your ribcage. 

But of course, it did make sense for a virgin to be nervous on her wedding night, right?

As you finally made it into the chamber, Sherlock slammed the door behind him and hauled you against his solid form. Whatever prime elegance he donned on his polished exterior was long forgotten. Sharp talons made shreds and tatters of your beautiful wedding gown and his teeth sank into your supple skin to brand you as his.

“Sher...” you wept in pain, trembling at his coarse grip. He ignored your yelps and threw you carelessly onto the bed while ridding himself of his attire. Coyly you tried to cover yourself from your husband, watching in both fear and awe as he moved to stand by the bed, naked and laved by the golden candlelight. His body astounded you, for Sherlock was no man at all but a beast, large and menacing with a dust of virile fur casting a shadow down his muscular torso. And his cock, dare you thought it, was a monster on its own—so large and thick it made your legs clench together in defence.

“I will not be denied,” he warned at your actions and climbed onto the bed.

By instinct, you crawled away but his hands thwarted your attempts and dragged you back beneath him. Before it resonated in your smitten mind, you were pressed below his heavy body as he ravaged your mouth with a pillaging kiss. His tongue entered you just as his hand forced your thighs asunder. 

Bemused by lust and stricken with fear, your hands grazed his firm, hairy pecs. Unbidden wanton seeped through your tendons and your body squirmed to meet the warmth of his touch. Delighted by the quick change in you, Sherlock left your lips with a deep growl and glared fiercely into your eyes.

Shadows engulfed the icy mountains hidden in his eyes, and while you frightfully tried to read his gaze, something both hard and silky-soft pressed between your untouched petals.

“Wait!” 

Your cry reverberated beyond lock and key, tears immediately sprang down your temples as the large man tore into you. Thrust after thrust, he laid claim to your body without care. The blood of your maidenhood and the shielding wetness of your core drowned his cock and urged him to plunge even deeper into your squeezing cavern.

“It hurts!” you whined, looking at him with pleading eyes. Frantic hands pressed against his sweat-silken torso, trying to slow him down but he reached for your wrists and pinned them to the sides of your head. 

“You feel so good,” he ignored your plea and granted you another savage kiss instead, “you will bear me many children, my obedient beloved.”

His fingers bruised your skin as his fanged kisses seared; just as you were made to believe he would split you in half, a sudden wave of soothing bliss began to wash at the shore amidst your stinging thighs.

Tepid currents followed the rough kiss of his cock. A warmth seeped further by the friction that scattered between your bodies as both Sherlock and yourself collided into one another with haste to find elysium. 

The little wails of pain turned into moans of pleasure and your legs instinctively spread wider to allow him a deeper passage. 

“Sherlock!” you called for him as you arched your back, demanding more. Every time he stroked a certain spot within you, the sweet ropes of euphoria tightened in your womb, threatening to unleash something that terrified you. 

And yet, you wanted to reach for it as if your life depended on it.

Heeding your call with a sputter of grunts, he slammed you harder, the bed beneath you screeched and thudded while he claimed you the way an animal would. Your breath shortened and your once virginal cunt clasped and suckled around him until a sudden astonishing explosion swept you away.

Undone and unbridled, you fell apart. The air shook from your lungs and body tingled while the feral beast continued to rip through you.   

Witnessing your climax with dark pride, Sherlock thudded inside you with several, profound thrusts. The loud snap of his sac slapping against you filled your ears and abruptly he shouted with aching pleasure. The warmth of the thick sprouts flooded you; healthy ribbons of hot liquid flowed for a long moment while he gasped and continued to grind himself to give you every drop of his cum.

It took but a moment until he stilled above you and then carefully rolled off with a heavy breath, his hand quickly reaching to massage your sore mound; but what at first felt like an attempt to comfort you was soon revealed as a ploy to make sure his seed would remain and strike root.

“Rest for a few moments, sweet wife...” Sherlock uttered huskily and leaned close to kiss your temple, “I will mount you tonight as much as possible, you should be pregnant with my child by daylight.”

His words struck a chord of rage - it wasn’t for Sherlock’s threats but the newly-found desire that consumed what was left of your purity. You reached for him and pulled until he was hovering above you once again, peering bemusedly at his feral little rose.

“Do your worst then,” you dared him with a flare.

Already hardening with need, Sherlock looked down at you with wonder, a small grin tugging the corner of his parted lips.

Indeed, he chose his wife wisely. 

Additional notes:  *I do not own Sherlock Holmes or Enola Holmes. *Divider by @firefly-graphics​

[sgcairo]

Babytorre and Dottore Headcanons!

Damn guys, 100+ followers??? Help??? I'm not sure how I got here, but thank you guys for being here and being awesome! Take this offering of Babytorre and Dottore being emotional, and whatever cute things I can cram into a thousand words.

-If these two settle down in the same vicinity, you can bet that they'll be asleep together in seconds. Usually with Babytorre snuggled up on Dottore's chest or against his side. Dottore snores a little, but Babytorre sleeps so deeply that he doesn't even notice it.

-Dottore sometimes notices a little head of familiar hair walking around the lab and organizing it. He's not exactly the most organized person ever, and Babytorre might make the chaos a little bit worse, but Dottore always thanks him with a little pat on the head for his good work.

-Babytorre always makes sure to hug Dottore's leg whenever he sees him, it's his own little greeting. Dottore eventually just starts picking him up and tossing him in the air a little. Babytorre loves it, even if it scares the living shit out of Pantalone upon witnessing it for the first time.

-Dottore reads to Babytorre more often than not, but it's usually fascinating facts about aranaras or Babytorre's favorite book, The Princess and the Pea. Either way, Babytorre ends up asleep by the end of it. Dottore will always bookmark where they left off and tucks him in before getting booted out by Pantalone.

-Sometimes Dottore will just talk about his theories with Babytorre, even if the kid has no clue what he's talking about. A lot of problems resolve themselves that way, but Babytorre's solution to everything (read: explosion) always makes him laugh. Though Pantalone keeps telling him that he shouldn't be encouraging arson as a way to solve any problem.

-Dottore sometimes sings an old Fontainian lullaby to Babytorre to help him sleep after a nightmare (when he doesn't want to wake Pantalone up, that is). Babytorre can never remember the words, but he often hums it without even realizing it. The first time Dottire hears him humming it, he's surprised- but also ever so slightly touched. Even into his older years, he remembers it almost perfectly, and it is one of the few tunes that withstands the test of time.

-Dottore always makes time to visit Anastasiy, no matter what. Even if he's swamped with deadlines or stressing about the success of a time-sensitive project- He'll somehow find a way to visit Babytorre at any cost, even if it's only for a short time. He doesn't know why he does it, but he feels guilty if he doesn't show, especially when Pantalone asks him what he's been doing or if he's alright. Babytorre shows his own sort of concern and even comes looking for Dottore if he doesn't hear from him for more than a few days. Having Anastasiy see him in such a compromising mood makes the Doctor somewhat nervous, he doesn't want to lose his temper and hurt the kid by accident. So he'll always visit, even if it's at an ungodly hour, even if it's only for a short time.

-Dottore stops truly seeing himself in Babytorre after a while. Anastasiy develops his own looks, even, not only going down a different path of interest but also physically. Perhaps the tampering was deeper than Dottore thought, but it also makes him consider Anastasiy more as his child, rather than a clone. While deep down, he knows that Babytorre is just a younger version of himself... Dottore also thinks of him as his son, perhaps if fate had been kinder or if he hadn't fallen off the clandestine path and caved to his own fascinations. Would he have something other than this twisted tangle of feelings with Pantalone and the child he quite literally stole? Maybe.

That's all for now, but perhaps a second part will appear! Thank you guys for all your lovely support, much love for all of you!

[heejojo]

Mr Hollywood

summary: Sim Jaeyun had made it, he had finally fulfilled his dream of being an artist but he had to leave the place he called he called home promising he would come back when everything was okay. He’s back now but are you sure it’s the same Jake you once knew?

genre: fluff, minor angst, childhood lovers turned exes to lovers again

pairing: Celebrity Sim Jaeyun x non-celebrity reader (with enhypen and treasure appearances)

warning: none

word count: 4.1k

a/n: although it has been proofread, I cannot guarantee no errors so please let me know if you see any! please let me know what you think. likes and reblogs are appreciated and I hope you have a good day.

listen to the playlist here

send an ask or fill out this form to be part of the taglist!

taglist (open): @enhyphun @jungwoniics @penny-quinn @ncthpen @fylithia @taecup-ontrack @renee1414@studioreader

“And the Artist Of The Year Award goes to none other than...” the announcer said, keeping you all at the edge of your seats. Everyone here had voted for Jake so many times so that he would win. The announcer looked at the folded card in his hand before smiling and saying.

“Jake Sim!” The screams of everyone in the beer parlour with you watching the award ceremony were probably louder than those in the venue itself. You all watched in pride as the look of shock was evident on his face and he shakily walked to the podium to collect the award. You smiled at how good he looked, he had come so far from the boy you once knew here.

Five years ago, Jake had left his hometown, where he grew up for 18 years to pursue his dream. Granted, not everyone is supposed to stay for the rest of their lives but he thought he was going to stay but he made up his mind to leave for his passion. You all supported him even if you weren’t able to talk to him because of his busy schedule. Being able to cheer him from the sidelines was what you were content with. He was the pride of the town and people did not hesitate to show him off.

He gave the announcer a bow and collected the award. You could see the way his hands shook as he collected the award as if it felt unreal that he won.

“I would like to thank God for the ability to get to this point today and to thank my parents for always teaching me the right way and having the courage to let their child pursue his dreams even if it meant that I would be very far away; almost out of reach even. I love you. To all those that have continuously supported me and listened to my music, thank you. To the staff that have worked so hard and everyone I've had the pleasure of meeting, a big thank you to you" he said and walked off.

The excitement of the crowd reduced and everyone eventually retired to their homes while chatting amongst themselves. You think about the award one more time, feeling happy for him and move on. After all, the same way Sim has a life to live is the same way you do also.

The next day, when you wake up you feel a shift in the atmosphere. The birds are still chirping, yes but something feels unusual. You brush off the paranoia you feel and decide to do your usual morning duties and carry on with your day. While other people your age wanted to have prestigious jobs(not like there was anything wrong with that), you wanted something simple and had decided on being either a cafe owner or a florist.

Sadly, the cafe owner agenda wasn't able to work out because everyone in the vicinity was now aware of the way you burned down a cafe trying to bake and collectively decided that you should not be allowed to make food for people. Flowers were better than running a cafe shop. You stayed with your flowers and you were able to give

someone a flower when they needed it.

Need a flower for your mother? You got it, a daylily was exactly what they needed. Wanted to attend a funeral? Take a bouquet of lilies. It was easy to understand and you didn't directly put anyone in harm’s way. Although your shop was hardly ever full, you were content with everything.

That's why you're shocked when you find a line of people waiting to be let into your shop at 9 am. You raised an eyebrow in confusion but you opened the door nevertheless. At the end of the day, you were the one earning the money. You had things to buy, didn't you?

You take your place at the counter and start attending to the customers. They didn't tell you to pick out one for them and just chose it themselves. The crowd slowly reduced till there was only one person left. When there remained a few people, you quietly moved to one person to ask for the reason why they were so cheerful today.

"Jungwon, do you know why everyone is so happy today? My shop was full today!"

"Are you complaining about it?" He asks. Jungwon was the son of the cafe shop owner. He came to your shop frequently when he was on his break and you would talk to each other.

“Of course, I’m not. I just want to know what’s making everyone come here all of a sudden. Even old man Jay came here and you know that man never leaves his house. He bought a red carnation and I’m confused because who does he have affection for that he’s getting them flowers”

“He has a wife you know”

“Please, the last time they had a conversation with each other was when he asked for a divorce” you deadpanned.

“Look Y/N, who’s the one person in this town anyone would do anything for?”

“Kim Junkyu?”

“Close but not him, I wouldn’t do anything for him” Jungwon stated making you roll your eyes.

“The only person left is Sim Jaeyun and we know it’s not possible”

“Ding Ding Ding! We have a winner”

You give him a shaky smile before asking him, “You’re joking right?”

“I’m not,” he says sincerely. You nod your head and go sit on the nearest stool. Placing a hand on your throat as you begin to scratch at it (something you did when you were nervous) and just sit in silence while Jungwon continues talking.

“After the award ceremony, his management released a statement on his Instagram saying that he would be going on hiatus for two months to visit his family. So we townsmen decided to get flowers to pave the road with because he would be coming back. We would have used gold leaves but it’s too expensive”

He continued talking and talking while you were still trying to process the fact that Jake would be coming back. Physically he was still going to be the same Jake you had a crush on before he left but personality-wise? You doubted that. You heard stories of the way fame had changed people; the love from others would get to their heads and make them overly egotistical. A part of you knew that he wouldn’t change but the other part was unsure. Before he left, you made him promise to not change and while you knew promises could be broken, you knew he wouldn’t break them.

“Jungwon, I want to close the shop for today. I’m not feeling too well and want to rest a bit”

“No problem Y/N! If you want, I can stay here and do business for you”

“Don’t worry about it, I’ve made enough money today to last me for next month” you say and shoo him away.

At home, you just sit and think for some time before getting up to make some tea and reminiscing about your high school memories. You hardly had feelings for people so when you did, you let them know immediately. When you told Jake that you liked him, he told you that he felt the same. You ignored him for a week after that because you didn’t think that far. After that, you met up with him and explained the reason why you avoided him. You went out with each other for less than 2 weeks and during that period, he had told you about his dreams of becoming an artist and you supported him wholeheartedly.

He would carry your books from school and you both would walk home together every day. He'd play the violin for you because he was good. You'd both pet stray cats and run when they started chasing you. All good things came to an end when he told you that he had to leave to pursue his dream. You both knew you were too young to even attempt a long-distance relationship so you let each other go even though it hurt. You’d watch his music videos and support his activities even though there was a possibility he would never return. Now that he was going to be here, how were you going to cope knowing that your feelings for him were still the same while his feelings could have gone, especially with all the beautiful people in the industry?

That night, while everyone was outside welcoming Mr Hollywood, you stayed in your house dreading the days that would come. The town was small so there was no way that you wouldn’t bump into him. The voices were loud when you tried to sleep. Seems like everyone was ecstatic that Jake had come back. The noise wasn’t able to let you sleep but deep down you knew it was because you were nervous.

You decide to bake cookies to reduce the stress you are currently feeling. You had learnt from your mistakes and no longer burnt kitchens (your kitchen being valid proof of that), but Jungwon’s dad still wouldn’t lift his ban. You baked cookies till 2 am before you were really tired enough to sleep. You had baked almost a hundred cookies that night.

The next morning, you made sure to wake up early so you wouldn’t run into anyone. Thankfully, the townspeople didn’t want to buy flowers that morning and got started on the orders that people out of town had placed. You brought cookies for Jungwon so he could test them. You were trying to fix the counter when someone walked in, making the bell jingle. Assuming it was Jungwon, you say, “Jungwon the cookies are on the counter. Test them and tell me what you think, don’t eat them and run away”

“I’m not a Jungwon but can I talk to Y/N?” You’re startled but you freeze, instantly recognizing the voice. Jake Sim.

“Hello, what would you like?” you asked with a forced smile. You were way too close, the proximity was making you uneasy. He looked a bit disappointed with the way you answered him but what did he expect to come to? It had been five years.

“I just wanted to tal-” he is cut off by Jungwon bursting through the door.

“Y/N, you will not believe who I saw. I saw Jake Sim with my very own two eyes. He looks so much hotter in real life. Do you think he’d sign my back if I asked-” he stopped instantly when he saw the person that was in the flower shop.

He looked like a fish out of water with the way his mouth was agape. Looking at you, then at Jake and then you again. He brought his hand to his head and he hit it hard making you startled.

“Sorry I will leave now,” Jungwon said.

“To cry” he murmured, making you chuckle. Jungwon was someone that cried when he did something embarrassing.

“Jungwon wait,” you say and walk to give him the cookies you had packed for him with a little note.

“Eat them and get back to me when you’re less you know...embarrassed” He snatches them from your hands and makes a run for the door. You giggle then you remember that Jake was still present. Turning to face him, you ask if he wants anything. “I want to talk to you”

You motion him to sit on the spare chair you had and he obliges. Before you even ask him a question, he begins, “Was that your boyfriend?”

“No, not that it concerns you though”

“Where you last night? I saw everyone but you. The Johnny kid said you were feeling ill. I doubt that wasn’t true as you made cookies. The last time I remembered, you were really bad at anything relating to the kitchen”

“Times change and people change, Jaeyun. It’s been 5 years since we last had a conversation with each other. I’m not the same and I’m sure you’re not the same either”

“Let’s get to know each other again. Do things the old fashioned way. Go on dates, paint, and bake with each other. Do some of the things we could have done 5 years ago.”

“And then when you have to leave and have no contact with each other again”

“I won’t do that, I promise. Never again.”

“How can you be so sure of that?”

“Let me prove it to you-”

He’s cut off by the entrance of another customer and stands up to leave but you don’t miss the longing look in his eyes. You hope he can see the same look in yours that’s covered by hurt and waiting for someone to return.

You were not expecting Jake to be at your store first thing on a Friday morning. He was even earlier than you and you're the boss.

“What are you doing here?” you ask. He was bouncing on his feet and looking cherry when you hadn’t even gotten enough sleep.

“I’m here to take you out. Do it like the old times where I’d wait for you so we could go to school together”

“I have work to do today and I’m going to be booked so another time”

“I have come to offer my assistance so tomorrow we can go out together”

“Don’t you have things to do?”

“I’m on a hiatus, I’m free for almost two months and if you want I can be free for more. Imagine all the things we could do in that time” he trails off, fantasizing when you hadn’t even told him that you still liked him. Meanwhile, you had opened the door and walked in.

"Aren't you going to come in and stop thinking of cute stuff?" you ask him and he quickly runs in, flustered.

He takes a look around and puts on a determined face and gets a broom and starts cleaning. For someone that's supposed to be a celebrity, he was cleaning like an employee. You take a rag and wipe all the surfaces and take care of the flowers. After an hour, the shop is ready to open. Customers come rolling in once they see a new help. Although they're surprised, they don't question it.

During your break, Jake picks up a chrysanthemum and hands it to you. "It's for you because you're beautiful," he says

"Hate to rain on your parade but if you gave me this in Italy, it means you wish I were dead" and with that, he takes back the flower instantly and brings a single red rose. You receive it with a small laugh, finding it funny when he doesn't want you misinterpreting him. You were having a sweet moment with him until Jungwon came in again.

"I'm getting tired of seeing you here Mr Sim. As much as I adore you, I need to meet my friend" he states and pulls you to the back. "Care to explain why Jake Sim is in your store again!?"

"Nope" you respond, popping the p. He brought his hand to his forehead and tried to relax his muscles because according to him, he doesn't want to look forty-five when he's thirty years old.

"Look, it's weird coming here and seeing you have company. I'm not against you having company seeing as you've been lonely the entire time I've known you but, I can't stay in his presence! Why must a man Look so gorgeous!? He's ruining my already broken esteem. Everybody saw him in real life and was wondering how a man could look that good."

"They saw him when he was seventeen years old," you tell him.

"And he's twenty-three now! He doesn't look the same and I don't even need to have known him then to know now"

"Jungwon, I want you to get to the point," you tell him, basically pleading at that point because your break would soon be over.

"I'll see you when I have enough confidence to meet him," he says and leaves the store. You shake your head at his overdramatic behaviour and continue with your day. Jake proves to be amazing assistance and you got things done quicker and even closed earlier.

"Thank you for offering help, you can go home now. See you tomorrow" you say in an attempt to shoo him out.

"I want to walk you home" he announces and goes with you home.

"Do you hate me for not talking to you?" he asks.

"I don't hate you. To be honest, I think we both did the right thing by not talking to each other. It was good we had each other in mind but I would have caused too much of a distraction for you. It was great you focused on your career and achieved your goals. I did well too"

"Johnny boy said you were lonely though," he said.

"Number one, I know you know his name is Jungwon but you're just being petty. Two, why were you eavesdropping on our conversation and three, I still had a bit of hope that one day you'd return. I didn't think that you'd come" you say truthfully. The night was making you vulnerable when answering his questions.

"I always asked my mum how you were doing when I called her, you know? I wanted to check up on you without doing so myself. I'd ask her to give you a pop tart because I knew they were your favourite"

Even though he was still far away, he still had kept you in his mind the same way you did for him.

You got home and stayed at the door before you took him by the shoulder and said, "Let's go out together and have fun". He gives you a soft smile and watches you go in before he retires to his own home.

The following day, you're waiting for him to come. You had tried to dress up for the date but didn't want to underdress or overdress since he hadn't told you where you were going. So you decided to wear a simple sundress and made yourself look nice. He arrived wearing something as casual as you in a car.

"Is this your dad's?" you questioned.

"Yup, I borrowed it to take you out,” he says and winks at you. You shake your head laughing and get in the passenger seat and he drives.

“Where are we going?” you ask, curious.

“You’ll see when we get there” you don’t respond but wind down the window and feel the wind on your face which makes you smile.

You catch Jake glancing at you while he’s driving and he doesn’t even try to hide it. “At least try to pretend you’re not starting”

“I can’t help it, you’re so pretty” This kid, he was making it too easy for you to fall for him.

“Do you still like me, Jaeyun?” you inquire.

“I do,” he said with certainty. Has he always been this bold? You don’t say anything and continue to look out so he reaches over and takes one of your hands in his while he uses his other one to drive. You look at him but just continue doing what you’re doing.

“You might not believe me but I mean it,” he says, lightly squeezing your hand as a form of reassurance.

He stops the car at an aquarium and you both come out. You have a wonderful time and although people recognize him and are surprised to see him with you, they don't say anything and leave you alone. You smiled that day more than you had ever smiled before.

"The fishes look good to eat" you whisper in his ear and he playfully smacks your arm and jokes.

"You monster! How can you say that!?" to which you jokingly shrug.

After the aquarium, he takes you to a flower field. "I did my research this time so I don't give you a wrong flower." He picked up a primrose and says, "I know this one means love is eternal so I'm giving it to you because no matter the distance between us, our love will be forever"

You feel warm this time and know that even if he were to leave again, the distance wouldn't matter because together, you both could overcome anything.

"You're all I need" you manage to say.

"When did you get all sentimental?" he teases and you chase after him in the flower field. When you get tired, you lie down on the grass and he lays next to you. Your hands find his hands amid all the grass and you squeeze it. Unknowingly, you fall asleep next to him.

The next weeks that follow include you two bonding and Jake having fun and being relaxed. He was able to write a song but wouldn't let you see the lyrics, saying it wasn't something he wants you to see yet. You met his parents and thanked his mum for taking care of you indirectly and conversed with his dad too. You could tell that he hadn't forgotten any of the values his parents had thought him. He grew up surrounded by a lot of love so he had more than enough to give.

He also met your parents and he was nervous even though you had tried to reassure him that they wouldn't do anything to him. Your father tried to act scary but deep down you knew he had a soft spot for him. Your mom was showering with more affection than she gave you and Jungwon tried stylishly asking him for his celebrity crush numbers.

"Jake, since you're dating my friend can you link me up with Han Sohee? You've worked with her before, help a friend out"

"I'll ask her but no promises" Jungwon was so happy the entire day.

A few days before Jake had to go back because his hiatus was over, you both were talking about how things would be while baking muffins.

"Y/N don't think I won’t talk to you when I go because I can already see the gears turning in your head."

"Pass me the butter Jaeyun"

"Are we back to the first-name basis? Call me the sweet names" he whined.

"Just pass the butter babe" and he passes it instantly.

"Now back to what you were saying, I know you won't forget me obviously and if you try I I can always take a flight to get to you." You tell him. You weren't going to wait around for him anymore. If you missed him, you'd go see him if he was unable to come to see you.

"Better, I was already worried," he says and gives you a back hug.

The day he left was bittersweet and you shed a few tears. It took a lot of willpower to not cry in front of him. You didn't want him to leave but you knew that he had a job to get to and you couldn't be in the way of that.

You both regularly kept in touch, calling each other at least twice a week to catch up on what had happened during each other's week. He hadn't told you that he released a new song and you found out through his fanboy Jungwon who was now the self-acclaimed president of his fan club.

"Y/N, have you heard Jake's new solo? I cried to it for an hour straight" You didn't have any time to check what was going on because someone had ordered flowers for their wedding and you had to get them done quickly.

"New solo?" you ask and Jungwon sits you down and plays the song for you. Truth be told, you cried as well. It felt like he was there with you telling you that he'd never change.

You watched the interview and when he was asked about the meaning or person behind the song, he said, "There's someone that I love and I wanted to let her know that no matter how famous I get, I won't ever change and she shouldn't change either". He looked directly at the camera then continued, "You're stuck with me forever".

That night, you called him and cried on the phone to him telling him about how you saw the interview.

"Y/N, you know I care about you" you sobbed even harder.

"I care about you too, forever"

"Forever baby, regardless of the distance"

[stardust-kenobi]

Sunlight

Obi Wan Kenobi x Fem!Reader

Summary: Obi Wan is stressed about the war, and you offer him some relief in more ways than one.

Word count: 2.5k

Warnings: fluff, smut, riding 

A/N: I feel like this is kinda similar to the mando fic I wrote with the whole “oh you’re stressed, wanna fuck?” scenario but it sure is a good scenario so let’s go with it 🥰

I have been so MIA, but I hope this was worth the wait!!

Requested by anon; hope you love it ❤️

gif cred: @coredrive​

His chin rested in the crevice between his index finger and thumb. He was absent for his words. The foggy rays of light that beamed onto his face illuminated the crystal blue in his eyes. His brows were furrowed, pressing against one another with intense thought and pondering. His body leaned forward with his mind racing faster now. You couldn’t read his thoughts, of course, but his body told you everything you needed to know.

Sitting on the sofa next to Obi Wan provided you with a view to observe his position and the way he so clearly was lost in his mind. You wanted to speak up, but you needed to read him further. Your sight traced the curve of his lips and the golden glow of his hair in the suns light. A stray lock of hair rested on his forehead, so delicate and light. He must have known you were staring at it, as he quickly ran his fingers through his hair, taking the loose lock with it.

“Obi Wan” you called to him gently.

He was unphased and still, refusing your call unintentionally. You speak up again, with no reciprocation.

“Obi Wan” you said firmer this time, and placed your hand on his knee, hoping your touch would snap his attention away from himself.

His body jolted slightly, and he blinked himself right out of the funk inside his head. He shook his head before turning to you, visibly traveling back to reality.

“Darling, I’m so sorry” he sighed, looking into your gaze.

“Are you alright?”

“Just have a lot on my mind. Nothing you should worry yourself about” he smiled, playing off his obvious distress. His smile said more to you than most people would recognize. To you, it meant that no matter the mood he was in, looking to you brought him instant happiness.

“You can talk to me. You know that right?” You consoled him.

Obi Wan’s expression changed. He appeared confused.

“Oh no, it’s nothing serious, I promise you” he assured you.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I am sure. You care too much for me” he tried to hide a flustered smile at how much you worried.

“Of course I care for you, Obi Wan” you said, displeased at his doubt. “I care quite a lot about you”

“And what did I do to deserve compassion from such a wonderful woman?” His voice grew softer while he placed his palm on top of yours that still laid on his knee.

You tried to hide your smile but you were unsuccessful in your attempt. You were without words but your expression said it all. Obi Wan looked into you for a moment before releasing a deep sigh and turning his attention to your hands.

“If you truly wanted to know what’s on my mind, I’ll tell you, but it would only bore you”

“Of course I want to know, hush” you scoffed.

“Well alright...” he began. “Anakin and I have been instructed to think of more effective strategies for our battles in the war. The council told us we need to direct our troopers better. Really, I don’t...I don’t even know what that means. We’ve been incredibly successful, especially recently. We aren’t sure where this is coming from.” He paused to think “Anyhow, its been plaguing my mind to create new plans but I’m just lost with it. Anakin is, as well” he rambled, but you listened to every word he said. Even if you didn’t fully understand what your boyfriend was saying, you were there to support him.

“That doesn’t make sense, Obi Wan. You’re the best general that they have” you praised him. He raised his eyebrows, indicating that he wasn’t so sure of that.

“I hardly think so. But thank you”

“Maybe you should rest. It may help you clear your mind” you suggested warmly. He smiled at you with affection.

“Oh no that’s alright darling. I’ve been doing plenty of resting and meditation. It hasn’t helped much” he began, sounding defeated. “Don’t you worry”

“Okay”

“I’ve been quite distracted as well. That’s only made it harder to relax” he blurted almost hesitantly.

“What’s distracting you?” You pried.

“Just...certain things.” He sounded as if he hinted at something.

“What kind of things?”

“You.”

“What?”

“I’ve been thinking of you, a lot, and...its becoming...very distracting” he spat out quickly, hoping that the faster it left his lips, the faster he could pretend he never said it.

Butterflies danced in your tummy and your cheeks were flushed red. He thought of you. To think he thought of you with the extent of being a distraction made your heart skip a beat or two.

“I distract you? What kind of thoughts of me could possibly distract you to this extent, Obi Wan?” You subtly teased him, and hoped he provided the answer you wanted.

“You’re just so...breathtaking. Just watching you walk in a room drives me crazy” he danced around what he wanted. Your breath hitched in your throat.

“I see” you purred.

“I just, stars, y/n, I need you” he pleaded softly. A warmth grew inside of you. It had been a while since you two had any intimate time together, you’d both been so busy. It was still a new relationship, and his affection was still very unfamiliar to you, which is why you were so nervous.

You responded without words, but simply a repositioning of your hips into his lap. Straddling his his thighs spread widely on the couch, you pressed yourself into him firmly. His slight arousal was already apparent through the thin of his robes’ fabric.

“I’m all yours, Obi Wan” you whispered against his lips before locking them with his mouth. He vibration transferred from his lips into yours, so eager for your touch.

“Show me that you’re mine now, my love” he breathed into you. You shivered at the seduction of his gruff voice. You grinded into him instantaneously, feeling him grow against you while you did so.

“I can relieve your stress, Obi Wan. If you’ll let me”

“Maker...do as you please with me” he begged of you, his fingers digging into the curves of your waist and pulling you into him. Obi Wan’s words of encouragement turned you on immediately and you noticed the bulge that continued to grow against your heat.

“Just relax my love” you gently breathed as you wrapped your hands over his tensed shoulders and he rolled them back into your grip.

Your hips shifted backward to allow yourself access to his desperate and sensitive core. Your fingers pulled at the hem of his pants in order to release him. Obi Wan gladly lifted his body to shimmy his trousers down slightly. You watched in eager anticipation as his cock was revealed to you. You bit your bottom lip, and you could feel Obi Wan looked intently at you, observing how you watched him and admired his most private region.

“Please...” he whimpered. Impatient for your hands on him, starved of touch beyond comprehension.

“Whatever you wish, Master Kenobi” you whispered against his lips, before pressing them into his again, and slipping your tongue into his mouth. With your eyes closed, your hand navigated to his cock, completely stiff and awaiting your caress.

His body jolted as you wrapped your fingers around his length, applying only slight pressure. As you stroked him gently, Obi Wan pulled away from your lips to release pleasurable sounds from his throat. His head laid back against the sofa and his took in the sensation of your touch. You continued to pump him firmly, responding to how his body leaned into you and the moans he produced.

“Stars, y/n, let me have you, now” he pleaded for the warmth inside you. You could feel the pooled wetness already formed within you, knowing you needed no foreplay to continue with this. Nothing out of the ordinary with him, it never took much to arouse you with Obi Wan, sometimes you questioned if he was subtly using the force on you.

You lifted your gown to your thighs and pulled the thin lace of your panties to the side. He watched you, mentally preparing himself for you and eyeing you like you were his next meal. Inching forward and hovering yourself over his cock, you breathed deeply, heart racing as if you’d never loved him in this way before.

You lowered yourself slowly, never breaking your gaze into his eyes. He whimpered for you to continue and bury him within you. The walls inside you wrapped around him gracefully and a blissful sound escaped you, throwing your head back at this first feeling of being filled for the first time in so long.

“Wait a moment” he requested, pulling your attention from pleasing him. “I just want to look at you” He says before swallowing hard in attempts to continue his patience while your hips are sewn together. “I want to feel you--just like this”. You felt the gentle twitch of his cock within you, as he cherished being warmed and comforted by your body.

“You’re so beautiful” he whispered as if there was anyone else in the vicinity. 

Man he knows how to make you putty in his hands, doesn’t he?

Obi Wan nudged you with his fingertips to indicate he wished for you to carry on with your intentions. It was heaven for both of you while your bodies rolled together with unity you formed. Obi Wan breathed out tenderly and his hands trembled against your hips as you guided your sex up his length, adding motion to your effort.

“Oh, darling” he groaned. The sunlight moved into position to highlight his features. Stars, you thought, he looks like an angel. The soft illumination of the evening sun peeking through the windows painted a vivid picture of his facial features, and the expression he displayed as a result of your touch. His eyes shut gently to take in the sensations you provided him. Your palm explored the texture of his robes, still clung to his skin on his chest, never given to chance to be removed.

“Obi Wan” you vocalized sweetly. His eyes peered open to meet yours. He was melting for you while you overtook him. You always made sure to be vocal and responsive in bed with Obi Wan. He often showed you how much he adored your whimpering by pulling you into him or fucking you harder. Today was different. It was your turn to take care of him. Nonetheless, his cock pressed against your most delicate and sensitive spots inside you while you rode him, your moans would be anything but quiet.

“Yes, my love, don’t stop. You make me feel so good, y/n” his hands glided up and down your curves. An array of chills shot down your spine at his caress and you grinded your hips in the same motions that you lifted up and down onto him. You switched to a rotation of your hips that you knew drove him crazy every single time. It was simple, really, but you always used this technique on occasion. You’d raise your hips swiftly, and lower yourself slowly at an angle while grinding down onto him.  His breath hitched suddenly and he grabbed you firmly, pulling you forward and pressing you against his chest. Obi Wan was never great at letting you take over, even when he wanted you to. He liked to take you as his.

Next, Obi Wan made a quick motion that you were unable to process before it was already happening. He lifted you and placed you down onto the sofa, and hovered above you.

“I’m sorry, darling but-” He started “In order to relieve my stress, I want to have you like this...is that alright?” He checked with you, always, never to leave you uncomfortable during your intimate moments. You smirked and nodded your head in approval. Returning his cock to bury inside your pussy, he began to thrust quickly. A moan created by the sensation of this new angle became trapped in your throat finally released with a blissful sigh.

“Obi Wan, I love y-...you” you whispered, piercing your gaze into his eyes. His thrusts halted at your sentiment.

You’d never said that to him before.

But you did. You really did love him.

“Y/n...” his voice broke. His eyes were hopeful.

You wondered if now was the best time to tell him that, but you couldn’t take it back now. You didn’t want to.

He cupped your face with his hand that wasn't supporting himself above you.

“I love you” he smiled through his words. You smiled back, your face pressed against his palm. “More than you know, my darling”

He resumed his thrusting, jolting you both back into a different mindset. Obi Wan’s hips slapped the inside of your thighs repeatedly, putting himself as deep into you as possible, but still barely fitting. You let him set the pace he desired, after all, you still wanted this to be about him.

His moans were so rough and breathy as they crept from his throat. Something about your body causing him to sound so beautiful aroused you tremendously.

You felt the pit of your belly tense while Obi Wan curled his hips into you faster. You were so close to your orgasm.

“Mm, Obi...yes, right there” you pleaded for him to keep his pace.

“Does that feel good, my love?”

“Y-yes it feels so good. I’m gonna cum” you whimpered, desperate for your release.

“Not yet, darling. I want us to cum together”

It would be a challenge to hold it back, but you did, for him. Thankfully for you, it was only seconds later that you heard his moans and whimpering grow louder and choppier, indicating that he was close to his release.

“Stars, y/n, I’m so close”

“Cum inside me, Obi Wan” you purred.

“Are you sure?” He barely managed to say.

With your nod of approval, Obi Wan spilled himself into you followed by his unmuffled sounds that released his sexual buildup as well as his stress buildup. Your close peak reached your core, and washed over you, contracting your walls around him while he came inside you.

“Fuck yes!” You cried, seeing stars with your head thrown back against the sofa.

Obi Wan gripped the back of your neck firmly, but was careful not to hurt you. He was trembling softly as he floated back down. He smirked at you while the two of you attempted to catch your breath. A small chuckle escaped you.

“What is it?” Obi Wan curiously pried into what humored you so suddenly.

“I just...maker, I..I really do love you Obi Wan” you felt the need to repeat these words to him. He needed to know, and you never wanted to stop saying it. He smiled in the way he did before, so warm and inviting.

He sat next to you and placed your head on his lap.

“I love you, too. I always will” 

“Let me know the next time you’re feeling...what was it that you said? ‘Distracted’? or ‘Stressed’?” You teased him.

“Believe me, I will” He giggled with you, before you both drifted into a peaceful sleep.

[ahundredtimesover]

Friday Nights and Take-Out Drabble (1)

You watch too many crime shows, you know that?

Pairing: Jungkook x (f.) Reader

Genre/Tags: strangers to friends to lovers, popstar/idol!jk, fluff, angst, future smut; this is a dialogue-heavy series so read if you’re into that!

Warnings: foul language, heavy drinking, perceived home invasion  

Word count: 1,400 too long

Series summary: You meet pop star/idol Jeon Jungkook at the cafe, you get close, and as Hyejin says, you’re like friends with benefits without the sex. But you’re bad at feelings and so is he.

series masterlist

A/N: Flashback to the week before! And idk but this home scene plays out funny in my head

#

Obsidian eyes look back at you, lulling you into a haze. Even with the blinding lights, they aren’t hard to miss. They’re so round and so dark and so shiny and so...

“Hey, you alive?” He asks, breaking you out of your thoughts.

“Yes,” you nod rapidly. “You have very pretty eyes,” you say, raising your hand to try and poke them, see if your finger will pierce through.

“Yah! I need those,” he says, grabbing your hand and keeping them at your side, a laugh escaping his lips. 

“But they’re so round and so dark and so shiny and so…” you say dreamily. You feel lightheaded. Everything looks so fuzzy and faint.

He stops you again. He’s seen enough to know you’re completely out of it; you rarely compliment him, especially when it comes to his looks. That’s definitely a tell. “Alright, time to go.” He stands up and pulls your arm. 

He stops on his tracks, thinking how this might look, not just to others but to you, even if you might not remember this in the morning.

Jungkook turns to the table on the far right of the bar and starts waving his arms. The next thing you know, Jaehyun is in front of you, mumbling about some heiress and that Jungkook is the only one sane enough to take your shit-faced, deadweight ass home. You trust this guy with your life so you let Jungkook lead the way.

And that’s the last thing you remember.

#

You wake up to the absolute worst headache of your life.

You think back to the night before and the annual New Year’s celebration you had with your friends. A little late due to the food poisoning fiasco last week, but at your favorite high-end bar (which you only go to because of the discounted, sometimes free, drinks; otherwise, your cheap ass would never), every week feels like the New Year.

It was that one night you allowed yourselves to let loose and have fun before you go back to being responsible adults for the rest of the year, most of the time at least. And you know, based on the constant pounding in your head and how disgusting you feel, you definitely had a good night.

It’s then you realize you’re shivering, blanket merely covering half of your body. Despite that, you feel nasty, sweat from last night’s dancing already dried up, the stench of alcohol stuck on your clothes, and god, is that drool? 

You turn to your bedside table, a glass of water catching your attention, thankful for whoever brought you home last night - it was Jaehyun right? 

You groan, however, for the aspirin that you didn’t see. He must’ve forgotten. 

You proceed to take your clothes off, already moaning to the thought of a hot shower, freshly brewed coffee, and probably some sausage and eggs for breakfast - or lunch, whatever time it is. 

Hair in a bun and clad in your mismatched laced underwear, you walk out of your room to chug more water and take the aspirin that Jaehyun definitely forgot to bring out for you. But as you do, you pause in your tracks. Something feels different.

There’s this sense that something's amiss as you try to figure out in which drawer you keep your medicines in and look around your little apartment. You grab a knife from one of them for good measure, ready to fight whoever or whatever faces you. You know it’s not Jaehyun, otherwise you would have woken up next to him, a common occurrence and non-issue for the both of you. 

Your eyes scan the vicinity again, and then you see it - tall and chunky black boots sitting by your front door, and right when your eyes zero in on those unfamiliar looking items, you hear a creak and the sound of a doorknob turning. 

You immediately hide in the corner of the kitchen counters, cursing yourself for the excess grocery you bought that’s stacked inside your floor cabinets that you now can’t hide in. The floorboards creak - you should’ve had them fixed last month - and you feel your heart race a million miles a minute, breath hitching at the sound of footsteps approaching you. 

For some reason, you think to close your eyes - do you really wanna see your killer before you die? - and cover your mouth with your hand to keep any sound from escaping. At least you see this one coming, you think, and you at least have some lingerie on - there’s no Psycho shower killing scene happening today. 

“Y/N…” you hear a low, raspy voice; not too close but not that far either. So you do something stupid, thinking your intruder is at a safe distance… unless they have a gun, of course.

You brace yourself and immediately stand, right hand with the knife and left fist formed, ready to fight. “Don’t you dare come any closer, I have a black belt in Taekwondo!” You shout.

“What the fuck, Y/N!” An alarmed voice shouts back at you.

You open your left eye, then your right, and you crouch down on the counter with one arm on your chest, panic and stress now slowly being replaced with relief that your intruder isn’t actually an intruder but just Jungkook. 

Surely you would have recognized the signature black boots, right? But your head is still spinning and you don’t remember much from how last night ended. This isn’t the first time he’s come over but it’s definitely the first time he stayed over. Wait - he stayed over?

Your chest is still heaving; your mind is in a daze because you seriously thought you were going to die. 

“Yah! Can you please drop the knife!” 

It’s only then you realize you’re still pointing the knife towards him. You look up and you see the shock and fear in his eyes, and it registers to you the same time as it does to him. And you scream.

“What the fuck, Jungkook! Turn around now!” 

He seems to snap out of his own daze, the panic in his eyes unmistakable. “Shit, I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize! Fuck fuck fuck!” He shouts and then runs to your couch, his back to you. 

You head back to your room to slip on some clothes, steady your breathing, and give yourself a pep talk. “It’s okay,” you tell yourself. “You’re alive and well and you weren’t completely naked. You’re okay,” you repeat to yourself.

You check your phone and scroll through your friends’ group chat, photos of last night causing you to laugh at how fun and crazy it apparently was. One of the last messages was that of Jaehyun’s: “Y/N, Jungkook took you home, don’t freak out.” Well, too late bud. 

You open the door to your living room and see Jungkook pacing back and forth. He jumps a little when he hears the floorboards creak and he turns to you. 

“Look, Chae lost her car keys, Hyejin drunkenly proposed to Minho, you were drunk and Jaehyun hooked up with some girl so he gave me your house key but I couldn’t lock your door without taking the key with me and it felt weird and I…” he rambles, stopping when he sees you smiling at him. He looks so shy and nervous, nothing like the confident pop star you were partying with last night.

“I don’t want you to think I was, uh, you know…” he continues, hand scratching the back of his neck. “Planning something?” you finish for him. He nods.

“Jungkook, I had all my clothes on, I was sort of covered in a blanket, there was water prepared… you planned on taking care of me after being given the unwanted responsibility of taking my drunk ass home,” you say. You meet his eyes. “Thank you.”

You see him release the breath he’s been holding in, relief washing over him at your assurance that you knew all he wanted was to help you, not help himself. 

There was a short silence. “So… A black belt in Taekwondo, huh?” He laughs. 

“A lie, hence the knife.” 

“Seriously, Y/N, and what would that do? You watch too many crime shows, you know that?”

“Hmm, guess I do.” You respond.

He flashes you his bunny smile. It’s a cute one, you think, the one where his nose scrunches up a little bit. You decide it’s now one of your favorite things, aside from his eyes, of course.

##

part 1 <<>> part 2

series masterlist

[badapricot]

Lovely Writer: Count 29, 30, & 31

These are the chapter summaries for the last three chapters of Lovely Writer which should cover the entirety of Episode 12. Keep in mind that my Thai is elementary and they’re diverging from the book canon so we might just see a version of these events and not every single thing.

Count 29

Gene moves out of Nubsib’s condo and back into his own.

They decide that they shouldn’t be seen going in and out of each other’s condos (because they’re known to the public).

Gene feels like bad emotions are bubbling up inside him the more he thinks about the day prior, and how he made Nubsib angry enough to yell at him.

 Gene’s condo is a mess but he’s too tired and lazy to move.

He hears someone knocking on the door and goes to open it. It’s Tum.

Gene feels awkward because he doesn’t want to see anyone and Tum is Nubsib’s manager, but he can’t deny that it feels good to see a friendly face.

Tum is worried about Gene’s condition. He forces Gene to take medicine and tells him to take that medicine with rice every meal.

Gene asks why Tum is there when he has work and Tum says that there’s an event at a department store and there’s a red carpet fashion show. He was sent to invite Gene.

Tum tells Gene that he doesn’t agree with what his sister did and Gene tells him that it’s normal and he understands. Tum says that still, he shouldn’t have stood by and allowed it because Gene is his friend.

Tum asks if Gene and Nubsib are okay and Gene says he doesn’t know. Gene says he doesn’t know if Nubsib wants to talk with him. Tum assures Gene that Nubsib loves him very much and he did everything to get close to him including being cast in his series and moving in next door. Talking might be frustrating, but not talking to Nubsib is even more frustrating.

Tum says he wants Gene to talk to Nubsib but if he won’t then Tum will take care of him. He offers to take Gene out for lunch and to pay. But Tum says he needs to take care of something first so Gene will have to wait for him at the event he mentioned, alone.

Gene says he isn’t allowed to be in Nubsib’s vicinity without a good excuse (like Tum’s presence) and Tum says it’s fine as long as he sticks with others. Gene is the writer and the TV station invited them in that capacity.

Gene says he’ll go to to event because he wants to apologize to Nubsib.

Tum tells him he’ll leave to buy the food and come back to pick him up. For now, Gene should shower.

Gene thanks Tum for being his friend and Tum says you’re welcome. Gene realizes that Tum is the first person to make him smile in days.

Gene showers and dresses and then goes on Twitter. He sees tweets about how SibGene was just a rumour and clips of SibAey doing fanservice. It doesn’t bother him as much anymore, knowing that Aey really likes him.

Tum arrives with food and they eat lunch. Tum then drives them to the event.

Gene is set on apologizing to Nubsib for not consulting him about their breakup.

Gene is so out of it, he accidentally walks onto the red carpet and hits his head. Tum keeps him walking straight and makes them take a selfie together so they can post it online and prove that they were together (and Gene wasn’t with Nubsib).

Gene waits backstage and is very nervous about what he’ll finally say to Sib. So nervous that he doesn’t notice Aey is next to him until he grabs his face.

Aey asks if Gene is okay because he hasn’t been answering his LINEs. He asks if Gene is fighting with Nubsib and if he wants to talk to him, and Gene confirms that he is there to talk to Nubsib.

Aey tells Gene that he told him to just break up with Nubsib and date him instead. When he sees Gene’s expression he says that he’s joking. But he admits that he did ask Nubsib about Gene at university and his reaction was so scary, he hasn’t dared to ask again. He said that Nubsib’s recent cold aura is known on their campus.

Gene gets even more worried because that means Nubsib is still angry at him, and to that extent.

Aey tells Gene that him and Nubsib were recently offered a lot of couple contracts and even a movie project deal but Nubsib turned them all down because he’s looking for a new contract. Aey turned them down too. When Gene looks worried about it (because those jobs are high paying) Aey admits that he turned them down because he didn’t want to sell couple moments either.

Aey and Gene are interrupted by the staff so Aey can go on stage.

Gene waits twenty minutes and Nubsib doesn’t appear, so he’s ready to leave. But then he sees him.

I thought that he would smile like usual when he saw me. Instead, I saw his dark brows furrow.

"Khun Gene."

I was too late to respond because of his reaction. So I just kept quiet. "Uh ..."

"Why did you come?"

The words I had prepared to speak stopped abruptly. "I ..."

Nubsib took another step. But probably because I stood in his way, he turned around. He pulled the black curtains completely shut. The coldness I felt the day he told me to move my things back into the room made my heart feel like a big hammer had smashed it. My body was numb and my eyes were blurry.

I was helpless. But I was afraid it would be like the last time again, so I spoke.

"I came to talk to you."

"To talk?"

"…"

“There are a lot of journalists and even other staff members here. Khun Gene should have known this.” Nubsib swept his gaze around the backstage. In the end, he spoke in a calm voice. "Khun Gene, I’ll follow. There are other models at this event, so let’s go back first. "

"…"

Seeing this kind of expression, my hands and feet felt numb.

This was something I didn’t want to see.

Sib, angry at me?

He seemed annoyed and like he blamed me for coming here. But from his words, I couldn't deny it was true.

My mouth closed tightly. My feet stepped back. I had to try my best not to show the face that matched my mind, only nodding lightly while trembling. "Okay."

"If you want to talk, then let’s talk in my room."

"...yeah, I understand."

I bowed my head. My ears were ringing with a sound that couldn’t be heard as I turned and left. I hoped to hear Nubsib’s voice calling for me, and holding me back. But I took almost ten steps and I heard nothing. 

My feet moved faster.

Forget calling. I felt so unstable, I couldn’t even call a taxi back to my room.

Count 30 (Nubsib POV)

Nubsib didn’t expect to meet Gene backstage.

When he saw the staff looking at them with interest he purposefully smoothed out his expression.

He knew he was being selfish in the past, for not considering how he was causing trouble for Gene. He doesn’t want to cause more trouble for them by having new rumours about them.

After Gene leaves, Nubsib calls Tum and asks him, “Did you bring Khun Gene here?”

Tum says Gene came with him and Nubsib again asks why? He only told Tum to check on Gene, not bring him to work.

Nubsib goes to change into his normal clothes and meets Tum outside the venue.

Tum asks if he’s going to talk to Gene and Nubsib asks him if he thinks it’s a bad idea. Tum says it should be fine since they’re alone but he asks if Nubsib is still mad at Gene. Nubsib says he isn’t.

At first, he was angry and hurt because it felt like Gene cared more about other people over their relationship. But after, he understood Gene was worried about him and other’s jobs. Nubsib understands, but he wants Gene to understand that Gene is more important than any work, and Nubsib doesn’t care about work that much. That’s why he’s been negotiating a new contract.

Tum asks about it and Nubsib says he’s going to tell Gene about the new contract immediately.

Nubsib speeds back to the condo and rushes upstairs to see Gene.

I walked down the hall, and turned the corner where I spotted a familiar figure in the same clothes, leaning against the wall next to my door.

At that moment, my feet stopped.

He was still in the same outfit he wore at the event an hour ago. His small head was bowed low. He was breathing in and out slowly, and the sound was quiet, but I could hear it.

The sound of my shoes hitting the ground was the only other noise heard.

The loneliness radiating off of him made me feel lonely too.

I walked closer and stood in front of him. "Why are you standing ..."

"..."

"..."

Enlarged eyes. At that moment, it was like everything stopped as soon as Gene looked up.

The words that I was going to say suddenly changed.

"Why are you crying?"

"I..."

Like he had just realized while looking up at me, his eyes widened even more. At first, I only saw a pair of red eyes. But when we met each other's eyes, it seemed like he couldn’t even stand. "You told me to come back here? I...have something to talk to you about. Right here, right? "

Something in my chest tightened.

I didn’t answer his question. I didn’t know what my face was showing. But I was in so much pain, I had to clench my fists.

"Why are you crying?"

“...” 

At first I didn't see the tears. But when I asked this question, Gene really started to cry.

His head shook slowly. My hand lifted without me thinking.

I couldn’t bear to see it. I pulled him in to hold him tightly.

"Gene, stop crying."

"..."

Even if I couldn’t hear much, his body shook with the stress of trying to contain all of his emotions. That was worse than Gene just crying. It was the first time that I felt like I couldn’t control my expression. My voice trembled when I spoke. "Stop crying ..."

I didn't think I would come back and see Gene standing in front of my room crying, red cheeks and eyes full of tears. It made me feel even more angry. Not angry with Gene, but angry with myself.

"You want to break up with me for real, right? When you said we had to just break up...”

My eyebrows furrowed tightly. I quickly said, "There's no way. How could I break up with Gene?"

"You told me to come back to sleep in my own room." He cried and softly shuddered, trying to mute his voice, and I felt more sorry than I’d ever been for anything. "You act like you don’t even want to see my face. You're angry that I said that to you, right? Or after our conversation, you decided that it was better if we break up.”

I hugged the person in front of me tightly. I moved my hand to the back of his head to press his tear-stained cheek against my cheek, and closed my eyes. “No way. I would never break up with Gene. "

"..."

"No matter what happens, I’d never leave you."

"..."

"I love Gene this much. How could I stop?” My arms loosened slightly when I felt that my words made Gene gradually calm down. I used both hands to hold his soft cheeks, pulling him up to look and meet my eyes. "So stop crying first."

His eyes were wet and his nose was red. I moved my hand to wipe away his little tears.

Right now, this was the thing I didn’t want to see the most.

"I'm so sorry," said Gene repeatedly.

"No, I was at fault or doing that. I was wrong."

"..."

I shook my head and kept eye contact with Gene’s round eyes, not hiding my face, even though I knew how I looked bad. Too bad. I usually wouldn’t want to show this face to my lover, but now, I didn’t mind at all.

Gene looked at me. But when I moved forward and hugged him tightly, he buried his face in my neck. The tiny circumference of his waist made my chest feel even more constricted.

I brought Gene into my condo, turned on the hot water, washed my face, and then washed his face, while Gene clung to me like the previous bad feeling hadn’t disappeared. When I saw how upset he was, I wanted to take all of those feelings and move them to myself instead.

My thumb moved slowly, brushing over his red eyelids.

Seeing Gene’s expression, I couldn't help but demand. "Don't cry again."

"Well, when I thought you were angry and annoyed, I couldn’t help but cry," he mumbled.

I knew that Gene was already crying over heartbreak. It's not that men couldn’t cry. I’d seen Gene cry while watching TV. Or cry when adjusting his mood while writing a sad scene in a novel. But Gene crying because of me set every nerve in my chest on fire.

I didn’t want him to cry because of me ever again.

Gene asks if Nubsib is angry with him. Nubsib admits he was at first because he didn’t want Gene to feel bad while thinking of others over himself.

Gene quickly starts listing excuses and Nubsib says it’s fine because Gene was right, Nubsib was being selfish. But if he has to choose between making fans feel bad and making his lover feel bad, he’ll be selfish every time.

“Our love story is selfish, Gene, and that’s okay. Don’t worry. I never intended to renew the contract.”

Nubsib tells Gene that he agreed to two big projects without a romantic partner in exchange for reducing the amount of time on his contract.

Nubsib says that they just need to be responsible for the remaining time on his contract. They don’t have to breakup. He asks Gene what he wants to do and Gene admits that he doesn’t want to break up with Nubsib.

Nubsib apologizes for making Gene cry.

Gene hugs Nubsib and apologizes too, because he didn’t listen to Nubsib or consult with him.

They go to sleep. When Nubsib wakes up Gene is sweating and delirious because he hasn’t been eating or sleeping correctly.

Nubsib wipes him down and tries to feed him as he best he can.

Gene never gets sick like this and it makes Nubsib’s chest tight. He feels like this is his fault.

He spoons Gene while he sleeps and wants him to get better. He’d rather see Gene’s cute cheeks cursing at him, than red and ill like this.

Nubsib keeps watch all night, and calls a nurse to inject Gene and treat him.

Tum comes over to discuss the new contract and Nubsib tells him to soften his voice and not make any unnecessary noise.

Nubsib is annoyed and wants to leave the entire time and when Tum is finally done he says, “Okay, you can go take care of your wife now.”

Nubsib gets porridge and goes into Gene’s room. He’s awake now and sitting up. He looks cute and soft, and much more awake.

Now that he’s more conscious, Gene tries to eat by himself but Nubsib won’t let him. Gene wants to bathe himself, but Nubsib says he’ll wipe Gene himself.

Gene says, “But you haven’t even slept?” and Nubsib says, “If Khun Gene isn’t okay, I can’t sleep.”

Nubsib undresses Gene and bathes him. Gene is still embarrassed and Nubsib asks, “Why? I’ve seen it all, and often.”

Gene admits that he’s glad he has Nubsib there to take care of him.

Nubsib wants to keep this moment frozen in time.

Count 31

It’s late so Gene tells Nubsib he has to leave.

He gets his laptop and tries to go but Nubsib grabs his hand and begs Gene to stay. Gene has gone back to his condo four nights in a row (to avoid fans seeing him leave Nubsib’s condo in the morning) but Nubsib wants to hold and squeeze Gene just for one night.

Gene says Nubsib knows they can’t and Nubsib says fine, then he’ll call a construction worker to come and destroy the wall between their condos. Gene can’t tell if he’s joking until he laughs.

Then he says that he’s being serious because he can’t deal with this anymore. Gene is shocked until Nubsib says, “Gene do you realize I’m messing with you?”

Gene kisses Nubsib and runs back to his condo before he can do anymore.

Gene admits to himself that he did indulge the first few nights when he was sick. He played up his illness more so he could stay in Nubsib’s room longer than necessary. But now he doesn’t want to be weak. He has to endure the rest of the contract and be good.

Gene didn’t even realize he was that distraught over their separation until he cried in front of Nubsib. He remembers Nubsib’s upset expression, and he knows that it’s equally hard for both of them.

Gene receives LINE messages from Tum who asks him if he’s going to the last event of the series. Gene wants to show he’s a good sport so he says yes.

Gene received a LINE from Nubsib telling him: Don’t just message people on LINE. Go to sleep. He wonders how Nubsib even knew.

Gene wakes up and dresses before going to the event at the university.

He sees Nubsib but can’t approach him because of the public setting, so he sits with Tum.

Aey comes up to Gene and asks if he’s watched the series yet and if he thinks Aey is cute. He tries to touch Gene’s cheeks but Nubsib interrupts and tells Aey to sit next to him instead of bothering Gene.

Gene sits with Tum and watches them wrap up their work until it’s the end of the day and all that’s left is the closing party. Gene goes to the bathroom and fixes his hair with some hair gel.

"You’re dressing up like this?”

Listening to his fierce voice, I raised my eyebrows, confused.

"Why? Is my hair so ugly?"

"Not ugly. But it’s like you’re trying to provoke somebody."

I almost choked on my saliva. “No, I’m just going to a party so I have to look good. I want my pictures to be cool. "

"Just looking good at home is enough."

"If I just look good at home, who will see it?"

"I’m jealous."

"..." My hand stopped, my gaze immediately looking at Nubsib.

Nubsib asks if Gene has time to do him too. Gene says Nubsib looks good enough but he does his hair and wipes him down with cold water as best he can in the bathroom.

Nubsib says Gene can’t pass because he looks too cute and Gene says he’s the only one that would think such a thing.

Tum is waiting for them outside once they finish getting ready.

He drives them to the restaurant where the party is. Gene tells Nubsib that he can drink since his exams are done and Nubsib tells Gene that Gene shouldn’t drink, or Nubsib won’t sleep tonight.

Gene is confused about what he means until Nubsib reminds him of what he did to him last time.

They’re forced to sit separately because Gene is a writer and Nubsib is an actor. The whole team is there, sitting at four long tables with a stage at the front of the restaurant where a big TV is mounted and showing their show.

Gene gets jealous when he sees a woman taking a selfie with Nubsib cheek to cheek, and Tum reminds him to stop looking at him in public.

Tum takes them back to their condo, but when Gene goes into his unit Nubsib slips inside. He asks Gene if he’s jealous, and Gene denies it. Nubsib says that if Gene is jealous of others, then he’s happy.

Gene begrudgingly admits that he is jealous and Nubsib laughs. He says that when the series is over he’ll take a thousand selfies with Gene.

Gene hates that he can’t help how he feels. Today was a big milestone for Nubsib, and he wanted to celebrate with him by taking a lot of selfies together, but he couldn’t.

Nubsib says that in the mean time, they can take pictures that people won’t see.

He pulls Gene closer for a selfie, but surprises him by kissing him deeply and with tongue. Nubsib keeps the camera in focus the entire time, which embarrasses Gene.

Nubsib pushes Gene to lie down and says that this is just right, if Gene is going to dress like that.