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#humor baby onesie
toruandmidori · 11 months
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If you’re looking for some new togs for your headbanging tots, look no further.
We have a great range of cute, funny classic rock, grunge, hip hop and punk inspired onesies and baby band shirts for sale online! 
Baby onesies and shirts featuring silly, funny takes on iconic rock band logos. Great Christmas gifts for new parents! 
Check out the full range here, individual links below: 
THE RATTLES
MASSIVE HEAD: ACE OF BABES
LIL GREMLIN
DARK SIDE OF THE WOMB
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Sometimes I Puke When I Drink Too Much Just Like My Aunt Onesies®
This fun one-piece gender neutral baby bodysuit Onesies® has a playful message that Aunts can appreciate "Sometimes I Puke When I Drink Too Much Just Like My Aunt", it’s sure to get a few laughs! Nothing matters more than a baby's comfort, and this one-piece gender-neutral bodysuit is the right choice for all active babies. The envelope neckline and three snap leg closure ensure comfort throughout the day.
These gender neutral Gerber brand Onesies® are incredibly comfy! Both the bodysuits and t-shirts are printed on 100% cotton for a super soft feel. These unisex baby bodysuits are great to use as a take home outfit, baby shower gift or everyday attire!
All items are created or designed by Granny & Grandpa's Custom Creations. We also print and heat press our items using our professional, commercial grade heat press! Each design is made with High Quality, Heat Transfer Vinyl. All of our bodysuits and t-shirts are made to order in a smoke free and pet free home. We only print on genuine Gerber Onesies® and Children’s Place. Gerber Children’s Wear holds the trademark for the word “Onesie®”. The term “Onesie®” is to reference the Gerber label and to describe the genuine Gerber Children’s wear products we use at Granny & Grandpa's Custom Creations.
Care instructions: Turn item inside out, machine wash cold, no bleach, no softener. Do not dry clean. Do not iron. Tumble dry low.
Please also know that although every effort is made to photograph my items accurately, color may differ slightly from photos due to different monitor settings. Please contact me with any questions about the color or size of any item before purchasing. Have something in mind that you’re looking for? I love custom orders! I can make custom changes to all existing designs that are currently available in my shop. Please send me a message, and I’ll be happy to help!
After a package leaves my hands with the post office, Granny & Grandpa's Custom Creations is not held responsible. Current Turnaround Time due to upcoming Holidays - 1-5 Business Days. While we always use priority shipping options, once shipped we cannot guarantee delivery due to the backlog current being experienced USPS/UPS/FedEx. If you have a strict deadline, please message me when ordering so that I can note any rush requests. Ownership of packages turned over to USPS transfers to the Buyer. We are not responsible for lost, held, damaged packages or delayed packages, once your package(s) leaves our Shop it is completely out of our control. Thank you for understanding!
Thank you so much for supporting our "small Granny & Grandpa's Shop", we truly appreciate YOU! Please visit www.grannygrandpascustomcreations.com/shop to view more of our creations!
Due to different picture lighting settings the actual color might vary a bit from the pictures.
Please visit www.grannygrandpascustomcreations.com to view more products.
LET’S GET SOCIAL & BE FRIENDS! Like, Tag & Follow us for Our new Creations, Inspiration & Giveaways!
website/ www.grannygrandpascustomcreations.com/shop
facebook.com/ https://www.facebook.com/GrandpaHandmadecreations/
instagram.com/ https://www.instagram.com/grannyandgrandpacustomcreation/
pinterest.com/https://www.pinterest.com/grannyscustomcreations
#grannygrandpascustomcreations
A humorous Onesies® features the phrase "Sometimes I Puke When I Drink Too Much Just Like My Aunt". Nothing matters more than a baby's comfort, and this one piece is the right choice for all active babies. The envelope neckline and three snap leg closure ensure comfort throughout the day.
These gender neutral Gerber brand Onesies® are incredibly comfy! Both the bodysuits and t-shirts are printed on 100% cotton for a super soft feel. These unisex baby bodysuits are great to use as a take home outfit, baby shower gift or everyday attire!
All items are created or designed by Granny & Grandpa's Custom Creations. We also print and heat press our items using our professional, commercial grade heat press! Each design is made with High Quality, Heat Transfer Vinyl. All of our bodysuits and t-shirts are made to order in a smoke free and pet free home. We only print on genuine Gerber Onesies® and Children’s Place. Gerber Children’s Wear holds the trademark for the word “Onesie®”. The term “Onesie®” is to reference the Gerber label and to describe the genuine Gerber Children’s wear products we use at Granny & Grandpa's Custom Creations.
Care instructions: Turn item inside out, machine wash cold, no bleach, no softener. Do not dry clean. Do not iron. Tumble dry low.
Please also know that although every effort is made to photograph my items accurately, color may differ slightly from photos due to different monitor settings. Please contact me with any questions about the color or size of any item before purchasing. Have something in mind that you’re looking for? I love custom orders! I can make custom changes to all existing designs that are currently available in my shop. Please send me a message, and I’ll be happy to help!
After a package leaves my hands with the post office, Granny & Grandpa's Custom Creations is not held responsible. Current Turnaround Time due to upcoming Holidays - 1-5 Business Days. While we always use priority shipping options, once shipped we cannot guarantee delivery due to the backlog current being experienced USPS/UPS/FedEx. If you have a strict deadline, please message me when ordering so that I can note any rush requests. Ownership of packages turned over to USPS transfers to the Buyer. We are not responsible for lost, held, damaged packages or delayed packages, once your package(s) leaves our Shop it is completely out of our control. Thank you for understanding!
Thank you so much for supporting our "small Granny & Grandpa's Shop", we truly appreciate YOU! Please visit www.grannygrandpascustomcreations.com/shop to view more of our creations!
Due to different picture lighting settings the actual color might vary a bit from the pictures.
Please visit www.grannygrandpascustomcreations.com to view more products.
LET’S GET SOCIAL & BE FRIENDS! Like, Tag & Follow us for Our new Creations, Inspiration & Giveaways!
website/ www.grannygrandpascustomcreations.com/shop
facebook.com/ https://www.facebook.com/GrandpaHandmadecreations/
instagram.com/ https://www.instagram.com/grannyandgrandpacustomcreation/
goimagine.com/ https://goimagine.com/granny-and-grandpas-custom-creations/
pinterest.com/https://www.pinterest.com/grannyscustomcreations
#grannygrandpascustomcreations
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chuluoyi · 5 months
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✎ the babysitters' club
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- gojo satoru x reader
in which yuji, megumi and nobara are tasked with the most important mission ever by their teacher—watching over his baby son!
genre: total crack, first years are trying their best to babysit your son to save their grades, an attempt at humor, gojo is irritating as always, fluff, fluff, fluff
note: this is sooo incredibly silly :') some inspiration are taken from the baby starfish onesie, this ask, and this illustration -> if you're wondering how gojo dressed his baby, he's looks just like that :)) tagging @3zae-zae3 <3
a part of gojo's love entries
general masterlist
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"Gojo-sensei... what is that wiggling starfish!?"
On one sunny day in jujutsu school... trouble is once again brewing in the form of Gojo Satoru bringing his baby son to the class.
"Starfish? No, no," Gojo retorted with a displeased expression, directing his gaze towards Yuji and clicking his tongue as he patted his squirming baby, which was still hidden from their view. "He's my pride and joy! Don't refer to him as starfish!"
"But you've got him dressed up as one..." Nobara pointed out, her tone flat and unimpressed.
"That's his kid," Megumi provided, wearily sighing. God, he knew already today was going to be a long day.
No one from school had seen your seven-month old baby son yet, and Gojo was determined to make it an occasion to remember.
Beaming with pride, he gently removed his baby from the starfish-themed onesie, revealing him in a tiny black jujutsu outfit specially tailored for him, complete with miniature black glasses. He held him up, presenting him for everyone to see.
"Behold, everyone... my son! Isn't he just adorable?!"
. . . a momentary silence before—
"Oh my goodness, he is!" Nobara cooed, forgetting her earlier sentiment, immediately approaching the baby with shining eyes. "Sensei, how could you manage to have a baby this cute!?"
"Heh! Only the finest technique utilized to create him—"
"Complete bullshit—"
"Hush, Megumi! No cussing in front of my baby! I'll deduct your marks!"
"Seriously...?"
"Now, class, today I have a very, very important task for you..." Gojo said, his voice dripping with mischief as he sported a broad grin. "If you succeed, I'll personally draft a recommendation letter for each of you to Yaga. But if you don't..." he paused for the suspense, scanning his three students' curious faces.
"Then I'm failing you in my class!" Gojo continued with a grin, prompting immediate reactions from his students.
“What! Why?!”
“That's not fair!”
“Sigh.”
“All you have to do was to watch over him until I come back. Everything you need is here— in this bag!”
Megumi rolled his eyes. Nobara raised an eyebrow. Only Yuji who seemed to be genuinely interested.
"Isn't that easy?" Gojo tilted his head playfully, looking absolutely stupid with his blindfold. "There are three of you here. If you can't even manage to look after one baby, then you should not even think about romance and dating."
"Nonsen—"
"Quiet, Megumi!"
And so began the day's mission: looking after Baby Gojo until his father's return.
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“Lalala~ look you’re flying!”
“Fwa...”
“Kugisaki, don’t hold him like that! You’re making him cry!”
“No, I’m not— Itadori! Don’t smush his face—!”
“WAAA!”
“You idiot!” Megumi hissed, plucking the poor baby from his clueless friends and immediately soothed him, pulling him close and patting his back. He even gently shushed him, “There, there...”
And Yuji and Nobara could only look at him in awe as the baby's wails turned into soft sniffles, peaceful in his embrace.
"Whoa... Fushiguro, so babies like you, huh..."
"Unfair!" Nobara clicked his tongue, before fixing a wide smile and waved at the baby in Megumi's arms. "Hi baby~ don't you want to held by big sister—"
"He doesn't like you, Kugisaki."
And so, that was how the three of them spent half the day—constantly watching over Baby Gojo, with Megumi supervising both the baby and his two friends.
"Sometimes, I wonder what she sees in him..." Megumi grumbled sullenly, resigned to his fate, his gaze fixed on the crawling baby while he sat on the floor and threw his little sunglasses.
For all the sighs he exuded, Megumi undeniably had a soft spot for the baby. Prior today, he had held him several times, and he'd never admit it, but he'd protect him to the best of his ability, if anything, because you had done so much for him.
“Gojo-sensei is cool!” Yuji remarked. “Of course Y/N-sensei is happy with him.”
Nobara rolled her eyes. “Only you would say that.”
"Hey, don't you think he wants his milk?" Yuji suddenly pointed out, as the baby became fussy. Megumi nodded and Yuji immediately reached for the bag Gojo left. He pulled out a bottle and handed it to his friend, but in the process, he accidentally knocked the bag over, spilling its contents onto the floor.
"Ahh, my bad," the boy sighed, collecting the diapers and washcloth, until he realized that there were some more—
"What's that? Photographs?" Nobara picked one of them up, and immediately gasped. "Oh my! Look at this!"
On the picture was the same baby, but much more smaller and swaddled in baby blue blanket and tiny blue beanie. Most likely taken when he was a newborn.
"Whoa, wait, there's something written behind the photo..."
When she flipped it over, both she and Yuji studied the messy handwriting, instantly recognizing it as their teacher's.
Yaaay! ♡ Baby is here! I'm sooo happy you made it! But mama went through a lot to bring you here... so don't ever forget that she loves you very, very much, okay?
"This is sweet." Nobara looked at the picture with a genuine smile, until she realized that there were some more scattered on the floor.
The other picture was of the blue-eyed baby on his arms and knees, wrapped in an orange and black bee onesie, complete with little wings, and behind it was written:
Aren't you just the cutest bee?! And what's more, you've started crawling! Aw, papa is so proud! In no time at all, you're going to be as strong as me!
"What are you two doing over there?" Megumi asked, still feeding the baby with the milk bottle. Nobara beckoned him over.
The third photo was of you smiling so prettily while holding your baby, still in his bee suit, and Gojo also in the frame, wrapping his arm around you, clearly the one holding the camera to take the selfie.
Two my most precious treasures ♡ Sweetheart, I love you. And baby too!
Yuji smiled, as he felt warmth spreading in his chest. "Gojo-sensei really treasures his family, huh?"
"He is," Megumi agreed, because he had seen it all throughout his life.
"Well, no wonder..." Nobara giggled. "Any woman showered with this much love would be happy."
And that day, the trio also uncovered another side of their teacher, that his deepest affection was reserved exclusively for his wife and child.
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Well, the sentimental feeling didn't last long though...
"This is our chance!" Nobara said in a hushed whisper. "When else are we going to get an extra family discount!?"
Megumi was so ready to burst a blood vessel as he held the baby—given that he had forbidden his two friends to lay a finger on him. "We are meeting Gojo-sensei here, not to—!"
"Hush! Itadori, don't you agree with me?!"
Yuji nudged his cross friend, trying to appease him. "Lighten up, Fushiguro! We can have more meat!"
At the last minute, Gojo suddenly told the three of them to bring his baby and meet him at the shopping center as he didn't want to waste energy to go back to the school. And like broke students Nobara and Yuji were, they decided to use Baby Gojo to snag an extra plate in a yakiniku place.
Megumi's eyes twitched. "This is not making sense at all, they won't believe—!"
"Shut up, you! Waiter~ here! We have a baby! So we're eligible for the family package!"
The judging stare of the waiter was enough to make Megumi combust on the spot, and yet somehow he passed the four of them as family eligible for the extra plate.
It was later, after they had their lunch that Megumi suddenly had an upset stomach and left the baby momentarily in his two friends' care.
And under less-than-watchful eyes...
"Hey, Kugisaki, meat on this side is the juiciest! Try it!"
"Ooh, you're right!"
The baby only blinked at them in wonder as he stayed in his spot. Not for long though... and it didn't help that they forgot his existence after they went to the cashier and headed out.
"Oi, Itadori! Don't forget to split the bill!"
"Oh yeah! Anyway, why is Fushiguro taking so long?"
Megumi got back right afterwards, and he frowned. "You done already? I haven't even gotten my ocha refill—" and it dawned to him when he saw both Yuji and Nobara with empty hands.
"Wait... where's the baby?"
"—! Oh my god!"
And when the three of them rushed back to the yakiniku place and approached their table earlier, Nobara almost screamed at the empty chairs, "He is gone!"
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"You left the baby with the kids and told them to come here?!"
You were positively fuming as you scolded your stupid husband in the bustling mall.
"Well, we haven't gotten much time to spend together, just the two of us!" Satoru retorted, his tone sulky as he pouted. "And besides, Megumi is there. I'm sure they'll do just fine~"
You let out a sigh. True enough, being parents is no joke. Aside from stay-at-home dates, the frequency of the two of you going out had dwindled exponentially since having your baby.
"Technically, you are still on the clock though." You threw him a glare. "You're being a very irresponsible teacher."
Satoru smirked. "Heh, spare me. But I'm being a very good teacher to you in our—"
"One more word and I'm locking you out—!"
Just as you were about to give him your (empty) threat, the building suddenly boomed with an announcement from the mall's broadcast speaker.
"Attention, shoppers. We've received a report from three teenagers that they've lost a baby. He is seven-month old, wears black shirt, has white hair and blue eyes. He is last seen at Yakiniku Q—"
"Satoru..." your voice trembled, dread settling in the pit of your stomach. The baby described by the speaker was unmistakably your son, and the realization of him being missing sent you spiraling into panic.
"Hey, calm down." Satoru gripped your hand tightly, his voice steady as he faced you. "We're going to find him, alright? I'm here. Don't worry."
And after taking off his glasses, in a matter of seconds, Satoru figured out where he was.
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Nobara's eyes welled up with tears, frustrated. "What do I do, Gojo-sensei will fail us now..." she muttered, biting her lip.
"That's what you're worried about?" Megumi replied, turning to her with a clear glare.
"He's going to be fine! He is!" Yuji interjected, trying to reassure his two friends despite his own rising anxiety. "He’s not just any random baby—who knows, maybe he can shoot cursed energy to protect himself!"
Megumi and Nobara leveled their annoyed stares on him and Yuji immediately regretted his attempt to lighten the mood.
"I still think he can't get far from the yakiniku place." Megumi was too panicked to check with the staff earlier and just went with Yuji's suggestion to report it to be announced, but now that he thought about it— "I think we should go back."
And thank goodness the three of them returned for the second time because, this time, they finally saw the baby safely cradled in your arms, with Gojo speaking to the waitresses nearby.
"Oh?! Gojo-sensei is here!"
But as soon as the three of them came into view, Gojo immediately fixed them with his unamused gaze.
"You three..." his voice was lower and it made the three kids shudder. "What did I tell you about failing this mission, huh?"
Yuji, Nobara and Megumi were visibly spooked, immediately bowing their heads in unison as they chorused—
"Gojo-sensei, we're so sorry!"
Nobara then pointed an accusing finger at Yuji. "But it was his fault! He kept eating away and didn't even oversee the baby anymore!"
"Wha!?" Yuji glared back at her. "No! You too! You kept eating my meat too!"
"Whatever it is, I'm not a part of this—" Megumi cut in boldly. "My stomach hurt so I had to go for a bit, and they couldn't even keep an eye on him—"
You soothed your squirming son as the first years were throwing blame at each other. Gaping in confusion, you couldn't help but wonder how such a simple task had turned into this incident.
"Tsk." Gojo crossed his arms dramatically, and you knew he was just messing with them, as he suddenly turned to you with a grin.
"Nah, as both a teacher and the victim's mother— Sensei~ who do you think is responsible for this? Or should I punish all three of them?"
The three kids before you were quaking in their boots, and you really didn't have time for this right now. Honestly, if if you had to quickly pinpoint the source of this chaos...
You directed your most irked glare at your husband. "You."
“Huh?!”
“You’re the one staging this by threatening their grades, and it results in our baby being missing!”
Now you were bickering with your husband and putting him in his rightful place. Nobara and Yuji gaped, while Megumi heaved a sigh of relief.
"Does this mean... our grades are saved?"
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Epilogue
"They said he fell..." You pat your baby's head worriedly as he babbled happily in his crib, your expression darkening into a frown.
You didn't really blame the first years for their lack of experience, but as his mother, the news from the restaurant staff that they had found your son falling from the chair made you extremely uneasy.
Seeing your distress, Satoru’s natural response was to comfort you until you were back to smiles again. He gently tickled his boy's tummy, prompting him to squeal in absolute joy. "Look, he's perfectly fine. You don't need to worry so much, yeah?"
"But it's strange... I'm happy he's fine, but how? Most babies will get hurt or at least be inconsolable after falling. But he was totally okay..."
Satoru shifted his gaze to his son, as now his round, crystal blue eyes that mirrored his blinked back at him with such innocence and trust that even melted his heart.
"Ah, I see." Suddenly he smiled as if he had figured something out. "This is just my guess, but you know my guesses have like... 90% of probability of being correct—"
"Hmm...?"
"He might have activated Infinity by instinct. Heh."
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writingouthere · 8 months
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bestfriendsbrother!Sukuna x pregnant!reader one-shot
summary: you're excited to finally share with all your friends that your pregnant when the party is interrupted by your best friend's older brother, who you didn't invite, but who you did have unprotected sex with less than two months ago.
cw: reader is pregnant, Sukuna is a bad dude, possessive behavior, minor smut, still as usual nicer than it sounds because I can't help it.
**************
"I'm pregnant!"
Your news is met with a period of silence before your friends look at each other, uncertain as to how to react.
Nobara finally breaks the silence, an eyebrow raised. "And we feel...."
"We're happy about it," you say and your friends are then quick to congratulate you. You hear some sort of scuffling happening behind you and you turn around to see Yuuji unfolding a "We're having a Baby!" banner which makes Megumi nearly jump out of his chair.
"Holy shit, did you two-"
"No!"
"Ew, no!"
Yuuji frowns at you. "The 'ew' wasn't necessary."
You and Nobara scoff. "It was," you tell him. "And I say that with all my love."
"Okay, so if this idiot didn't knock you up-"
"Hey!"
"-then who did?"
You'd been expecting the question and had prepared for it. "It was just a one night stand, he's not really father material." Everyone looks like they want to ask more questions so you smile at them, genuinely happy they all look ready to commit a crime for you. "It's okay, I have a good job and this is something I've wanted for a long time. This baby will be really loved because it will have me and, I hope, all of you."
Your friends are quick to agree and there's some lighter questions about potential names, nurseries and Nobara and Todo are looking at her phone debating baby onesies, when the door to you and Yuuji's apartment opens and someone you had definitely not invited comes in.
"Sukuna! You're late, you missed the big news," Yuuji calls out as he walks over and claps his brother on the back. A few people call out greetings as Yuuji's older brother looks around the apartment. His eyes linger on you for a second, a smirk tugging up on his lip before he notices the sign hanging crooked over the kitchen doorway and he laughs without an ounce of humor.
"You've gotta be fucking kidding me, you knocked someone up? You irresponsible piece of shit-"
"It's not his and don't kill him, you asshole," Megumi says from where he has now joined the onesies discussion and points over at you. "It's the other person who lives here."
Sukuna pauses from where he was about to murder his brother, to look back over at you. You wonder if his brain is doing the same cursed math that you had done when you were hyperventilating, holding a stick covered in your own pee, but before he could ask anything, Maki ended the silent stand off.
"And we're happy about it, so get happy you piece of shit."
With that, the party continues on, people breaking off until little groups and snacks being placed strategically throughout the apartment.
You're feeling thirsty, and a little exhausted from the burning stare that's been directed at you for the past hour when you excuse yourself from where Miwa and Mechamaru had been talking about their own future plans for children, who you're sure would be socially inept but gorgeous enough to make up for it, and made your way to the kitchen.
You were pulling out some water, no alcohol for you even though you really needed it, when you felt someone's presence behind you.
"So when were you going to tell me we were having a baby?"
"Never, because it's not yours," you answered firmly, slamming the door to the fridge for good measure. Sukuna leaned against the cabinet next to you but you'd known him long enough to see the pose for what it was. A ruse, a performance of casualness. The fingers on his hand tapped against his arm like he was playing the piano, one of the few tics he had that showed when he was feeling, well just feeling anything in general.
"Oh please, you're not fucking anyone else."
"You don't know that and we're not fucking, we fucked once. Singular, past tense."
He laughed and looked down at you, the same predatory look he'd had the night he'd helped you make this child.
"And once was all it took huh? Fucked you so good, you're going to have my baby," he says, voice mocking and he stands up to his full height which puts him over you. He takes the glass of water you're really regretting now, and places it on the counter opposite the two of you.
"It-it's not your baby," but you don't sound sure and he knows it and he presses up against you until your back is to the counter. Nowhere for you to run.
"It's mine, just like you're mine. I don't know who you think you're kidding with this denial of me but it's done now, sweetheart."
You go to answer him and Sukuna covers your mouth with his hand like the rude fuck he is and then leans down, his mouth next to your ear. You look around, worried someone might see you but the gap between the fridge and the counter conceals you both and the room next to you keeps getting louder and louder. The sun had set and there were maybe some lamps in the living room, but here in the kitchen it was dark.
"I let you have your space and your time, two months of it actually. I let you have your little moral crisis about fucking a criminal and it being the best dick you've ever had wah wah, but I was impatient before I knew you were having my baby, and now," he leans back so his eyes, and they're on fire his eyes, are level with yours. "I'm done waiting."
You tug on Sukuna's hand and he rolls his eyes before removing it from your mouth and places it on your hip which doesn't seem like a good trade-off but at least you can speak again.
"What does that even mean?" You ask him, your voice showing the incredulity you're feeling but if Sukuna had anything, it was audacity.
"I mean I'll give you a week to tell your friends you're having our baby and that we're getting married." He says it so seriously that you can't help but laugh which seems to be the wrong response when his other hand moves to your hip as well and squeezes, tight.
"We are not getting married, are you out of your mind?"
"Why not, we're already having a baby, are you going to deny me the ability to live with my own child."
"Still not your kid, and we can't get married Sukuna. We never even dated! We fucked one time, that doesn't mean we should just be together forever."
"We fucked for one night, it was more than one time-"
"Not the argument you think it is," you interrupt him but you still let him pick you up and place you on the counter. You sit there while he runs his hands up and down your thighs, the sounds of the party washing over the two of you as you stay in your little bubble.
"We'd be good together," he finally says. "Not just because I knocked you up on the first try." You hit him but he just smirks and moves his hands more purposefully on your legs. You let him pull them apart and step between them even though warning bells are going off in your head, telling you these are moves you'd seen before and they had led to you being in the predicament the two of you were debating in the first place.
"It's inevitable, the two of us. You can say you hate me, or that I'm not a good man, and that's true. But there's a reason why you've never stayed with any of those nice boys," he says and his hands slips up the skirt you're wearing to get at your bare thighs underneath. "Because you don't want a nice guy, you don't want a good man, you want me and I'm too selfish to let you keep torturing both of us by doing this pretending shit."
The fingers on his right hand press against your cunt through your panties while his other hand squeezes your thigh and he moans sinfully into the quiet air.
"God, I knew I didn't make up this warm, wet cunt. Been fucking my fist until I chafed the past two months just thinking about it."
You whimper as he moves your underwear aside and slips one finger up and down your slit, not touching your clit or going where you want him, but doing enough that you move against his hand.
"This does not mean that we should get married," you protest and he teases a finger against your opening, pulling it back when your hips tilt up in an attempt to get him where you want.
"Why not? I heard pregnant women get super horny, what are you going to do without me around to make sure this filthy pussy gets stuffed just the way she needs." He finally slips one finger in, his thumb moving to tease against your clit, just the way you like it and your head smacks back against the cabinet. He moves the hand that had been on your thigh up so he can cradle your head.
"I'm sure I could find someone willing to help me out," you say scoffing and his hand freezes which makes you whine a little and try to get him to move again but his legs limit your range of motion.
"You ever try to fuck someone else ever again and the coroner is going to have to get dental records to figure out who the dumb fuck with no fingers, no eyes and no cock is, you got it?"
He's not joking, you know he's not joking but it doesn't stop you from leaning forward until you finally get your lips on his. He hums into your kiss, cupping your cheek in his free hand while the other one goes back to opening you up. You're so wet that the kitchen fills with the sounds of his him finger fucking your cunt but you can't even find it in yourself to be embarrassed. He's not wrong that pregnancy has made you more sensitive, or maybe it's just you not having gotten laid since the two of you had slept together.
He's got three fingers in you when you come and he swallows your moans greedily with mouth while his fingers slow inside of you, curving just right to make you think you could probably come again soon, oversensitive or not.
Before you can test that out, he pulls away from you. He licks the fingers he pulled out of you clean and you you're reminded of how the last time he'd made you come twice just with his mouth.
"Where are you going?" you ask him, a little more breathless than you like.
"We are going home," he tells you, grabbing your hands and helping you down off the counter. Giving you a kiss on your forehead that you would tease him for if you were anyone else.
"Home?" you ask, confused because you are currently standing in your apartment unless his orgasms suddenly give one the power to teleport.
"Yeah, our home, not the shitty apartment you share with my brother. I mean we'll have to get somewhere bigger soon, for our baby."
For the first time since you found out you were pregnant, someone who was not you laid out their palm on your still just the same stomach. There was no change from how it always looked but Sukuna looked smug just the same and you felt like you were still missing a few things.
"What-"
"I mean I can fuck you here, I just thought your sensibilities and the fact your friends were all out there would make you uncomfortable."
Your post orgasm flush finally leaves you and you look up at him in panic. "Oh my god, do you think someone saw-"
"It's okay, Fushiguro kept them out I'm sure."
You don't want to know but ask anyway. "Why?"
"Because he walked in earlier and looked like he'd seen a ghost. Tell me, is the kid still a virgin? He's pretty but I can't imagine he has a lot of good options in your crowd."
When you leave to go to Sukuna's, the only people who don't look confused(or horrified in Yuuji's case) at your departure are Maki and Megumi.
If the confusion hadn't been cleared up by the time the baby came, the pink hair probably answered any follow up questions.
dealing with some writer's block and had this idea. didn't feel like writing a whole smut scene, my b but saving that energy for the next(?) neighborsukuna x singlemom one.
side note: Megumi is scarred for life, for sure. Yuuji gets over his horror once he's an uncle.
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sandwitchstories · 3 months
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Father's Day Edition: Dad!Sukuna Head Canons
In celebration of Father's day, I give you my first ever head canon post! Just some of my day dreams of Sukuna as a daddy
If you prefer to read on AO3 click here !
(I dedicate this one to @eevees-hobbies as she inspired me!)
Soft Sukuna, warm Sukuna, little ball of rage...
Dad!Sukuna - who was unamused when you once told him that he was no longer going to be the ‘King of Curses’ but the ‘King of Dirty Diapers and Sleepless Nights’ (He was even less amused when he learned how accurate this was)
Dad!Sukuna - who looked terrified the first time you placed your newborn daughter into his arms. She did look even smaller when being held by his massive, four armed frame
Dad!Sukuna - who is the ultimate ‘put the baby to sleep’ champion, with 4 arms to alternate holding and rocking with. Though you are pretty sure most of it has to do with she is a total daddy’s girl already
Dad!Sukuna - who has bottle fed your daughter on his throne, telling her gently how beautiful she was and reminding her she could do anything as she was the Princess of Curses. (you were going to have to talk about THAT nick name…)
Dad!Sukuna - who was the first person your daughter smiled at and laughed at. He had blinked back tears on both occasions. (He would rather be flayed alive than admit it,)
Dad!Sukuna - who came home after several days away to find his daughter taking several wobbly steps towards him all on her own. He had rushed forward to catch her before she could touch the floor, scooping her up into his arms and telling her he was proud of her. (Something he said often and it made your heart swell every time.)
Dad!Sukuna - who grins from ear to ear as he watches his daughter ride on Uraume’s back as his servant moves back and forth across the room. (How they manage to put so much disdain into their horrible 'neighs' is still a mystery, but only adds to the humor of the sight)
Dad!Sukuna - who, when your daughter said ‘Da’ for the first time, had tried to get her to say it again for the next 10 minutes, calling her a brat and holding her up by the back of her onesie as she giggled loudly (he claimed in defiance) and refused. (Her father’s daughter already)
Dad!Sukuna - who lets his daughter paint all 20 of his fingers and 10 of his toes.
Dad!Sukuna - who sits on the floor with a floral bonnet on his head and a teeny tiny porcelain cup filled with water in his gigantic hand as he attends the most important meetings of his life. Tea parties with his daughter
Dad!Sukuna - who holds his daughter’s tiny hands in his as she stands on his feet, laughing and encouraging him to sway to the song that is playing on the mix list
Dad!Sukuna - who will let his daughter fall asleep in the comfort of her father’s arms as much as possible. You have never seen him so relaxed or his soul so… quiet… as when the two of them are cuddled and resting together. 
Dad!Sukuna - who was an unwanted child, and never wanted a child, but is the best father in the world. Sure he talks tough, but his daughter already knows to ignore it. He treats you like a queen even more so now that she is here, determined to show her how a woman should be treated. 
Dad!Sukuna - who will forever treasure the first father’s day card you ever gave him, with her tiny hand print inside. 
Dad!Sukuna - who for the first time in his very long life, wishes time would slow down and his daughter could stay this little forever.
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another-lost-mc · 1 year
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The Wild Side was so adorable and my heart wouldn’t be able to take it if you wrote something for the other characters (and Azra!) Maybe their animals from the Magical Eggs event would work, but I’d love to see your take, too.
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a/n: I’m using the dateables’ onesies for their animal inspiration. I wouldn’t put it past solomon to jinx them somehow during a sleepover.
the wild side: slumber party edition | the dateables + azra
1k words | sfw | more silly fluff + humor
cw: relationships can be romantic or platonic in nature (your choice) except for luke, he is our baby brother and must be protected at all costs.
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Lucifer arrives at the Demon Lord's Castle with little fanfare. You were supposed to be having a slumber party with Diavolo and the residents of Purgatory Hall, and he incorrectly assumed there was no possible way things could go wrong. He started receiving a series of alarming messages from staff at the castle that something strange was going on. He hears a disturbance as soon as he lets himself inside the main entrance hall. A loud ruckus coming from the ballroom, typically used to host the young prince's lavish parties, draws his attention. He opens the door and is completely stunned, shocked into silence by the chaos he finds within...
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The Dragon (Diavolo)
It's a minor miracle that he's not a full-sized dragon. He's a bit smaller than Cerberus is and the ballroom is spacious—he has plenty of room to stretch his wings.
Judging by the scorch marks across the ballroom's marble flooring, he hasn't figured out how to control his flames yet.
(As soon as Lucifer walked into view, Diavolo snorted happily through his nose. He shot flames across the room and another set of curtains is currently on fire.)
Diavolo's still aware of his size and potential danger. He does his best to keep away from you and Luke who are at the greatest risk of being stepped on.
His scales are very warm to the touch. Barbatos can't land on him without injuring himself, so he squawks angrily at his young master from a safe distance.
He was excited to host this little sleepover for everyone to watch some new movies together, but he thinks this is even better!
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The Owl (Barbatos)
He's very anxious, but you can tell he looks at you differently vs. the way he looks at Diavolo Solomon everyone else...
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He doesn't believe in regicide, but Diavolo is going to be punished severely after this. And Solomon, too—this is his fault!
(Being a dragon is no excuse for his master to engage in such reckless destruction. He's going to burn down the whole castle at this rate!)
The Little Ds are enjoying this far too much and slacking off on their duties while they watch the madness unfold. The least they could do is help put out these wretched fires...
Barbatos doesn't seem to be nearly as intimidating in this smaller form. Diavolo rolls his eyes when he hoots at him, and the Little Ds keep tugging on his tail feathers teasingly and dashing away.
(If they think he's going to forget this, they're sorely mistaken.)
He gives up on trying to reign in the mayhem and tries to stick close to you instead. You're so small and fragile in your little sheep form, he worries the others might hurt you by accident. He pecks at them to remind them to be gentle.
When everything gets too overwhelming, he flies up and rests on one of the sconces on the wall or the chandelier.
(He nearly falls to the floor when the magic spell finally fades away mid-flight, and that makes him even angrier.)
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The Panther (Simeon)
His main concern is keeping an eye on you and Luke. It's amusing to watch the others though; he's content to stick to the edges of the room and observe the chaos.
This is actually great inspiration for a new novel! Or maybe he should try writing a children's book. You would make a cute main character!
He carries Luke somewhere safe when he inevitably falls asleep from all the excitement.
(Solomon and Azra get so distracted picking fights with each other that Simeon picks you up by your collar and carries you to where Luke is sleeping. He curls around your little sleep pile protectively until the spell wears off.)
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The Red Panda (Luke)
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He's too small to get into too much trouble, but he has a surprising amount of fun—probably the most fun out of everyone, except for Diavolo.
He's not used to having a tail and he trips on it a few times by accident when he runs too fast. He swears that Simeon chuckles in a weird, cat-like way when he falls on his face with a growl.
He follows you around the ballroom, but the other animals are so much scarier bigger than he's too nervous to get close to them.
There are still trays of desserts on the table from dinnertime, and he helps himself to some sweets.
(The spell and abundance of sugar knocks him out cold in less than an hour.)
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The Wolf (Solomon)
He didn't mean for this to happen, but he's going to enjoy it while it lasts.
He saunters around, swishing his fluffy white tail and showing off his stunning wolf form for you to admire. For some reason, you don't seem that impressed.
You squirm and glare at him when he tries to kiss lick your face, too.
He lays down and rolls over, hoping that you'll curl up with him because his fur is so warm and perfect to snuggle in.
Maybe you're just shy? The hellhound won't leave you alone but Solomon's not sure he can take him on in a fight...
(Really, can't he enjoy your company for once without one of the demons butting their nose where it doesn't belong?)
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The Hellhound (Azra)
You said this was supposed to be a fun little sleepover. He even put on that stupid onesie you bought him because you're cute when you pout you said it would be more fun this way. This was supposed to be a chance for him to get to know your friends—and now he's stuck as a dog!
You weren't immune to the mysterious magic either, and you and the young angel are the tiniest animals here. He's extra-vigilant about trying to keep the others away from you; he's scared they're going to hurt you by accident.
(He's never seen this side of Diavolo before, and he hates to admit how much fun it is watching the young prince set half the ballroom on fire while he shoots fireballs at random objects for target practice.)
He's very agitated when Solomon tries to approach you. That damn wolf keeps stalking you around the room with a hungry glint in his eye.
You don't seem happy with either of them when they start growling and snapping at each other and he's already thinking about how to make this up to you later.
(Maybe when this is over, he can convince you to go back home with him.)
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read more: the demon brothers version | obey me masterlist
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ficcerspam · 3 months
Text
DCxDP - ADDITIONS AND NONFICS
Magician!Danny AU - 9.27.23*
Danny learns sleight of hand and goes through Hijinks and Shenanigans. There are some DC offshoots where Zatanna is involved, with some inevitable angst from another user.
In the Interest of Medical Attention Addition - 10.02.23*
DCxDP - Red Hood goes missing. Danny, an eldritch horror tourist, just wants to be helpful. These two things are, unfortunately, related.
De-Aged Danny Angst Addition - 10.06.23*
DCxDP - Danny, having been capture and experimented on, gets de-aged with memory loss and some...physical complications. One of the Bats finds him. Dad!Dick Grayson implied.
Booo-merang Trouble Addition - 10.10.23
DCxDP - Jason gives off an ecto-signature, and tries to find a runaway/hiding/injured Danny in Gotham.
Baby Danny vs. The Joker Additions - 10.16.23*
DCxDP - De-aged Danny in a bat onesie wreaking havoc on the Joker for Funsies, and sort of getting adopted by Jason. There are a plethora of other reblogs that aren't included in the link, but this is where I've mentally stopped the AU at (personally). Highly recommend going through them for the fanart!
Candy Crush AU Additions - 10.31.23*
DCxDP - Additions written for @long-live-astronerd-ghost-king's Candy Crush AU. Dead on Main. LOTS of other reblogs that aren't included in the link, but this is where I've mentally stopped the AU at (personally).
Lucky Rush AU Additions - 12.02.23*
DCxDP - Additions written for @virgamsysxvolumes's Lucky Rush AU. Please go read it, it's so good!!! I've also designed some stuff for this AU, but Vivi has released some official art for the AU in the masterlist too!
Dan Doesn’t Like Danny Addition - 12.27.23*
DCxDP - a short sort of Not!fic where Dan comes to rain his wrath down on Trigon and the JL for different reasons. Lil’ angsty. Twoshot.
Estranged Brothers Dick and Danny Addition - 05.06.24*
DCxDP - Mr. Haley summons Danny to act in the circus, not expecting the Grayson's to take such a shine to him. The Grayson's die and Dick is adopted by Bruce, but Danny has to stay... Oneshot.
Casseroles and Confrontations Additions - 03.10.24
DCxDP - Batman sends a few of the Batfam to Amity Park to investigate the ghost sightings. When they get there, however, Jason refuses to step into the town due to some instinctual feeling he has. Check "#casseroles and confrontations" tag for non-story lore!
NOW WITH AMAZING FANART by @animal-123-crazy
MORE CUTE FANART by @jamiethebee
(a la Thor) ANOTHER! by @leesbian42
Jason, Meet Jason Addition - 05.09.24*
DC - Snippet inspired by Fanart of Red Hood!Jason meeting Robin!Jason. Morbid humor. Artist made their own continuation, just an extra panel that’s hilarious af.
Brother Bizzaro Addition - 05.13.24*
DCxDP - Danny is reincarnated as one of Superman’s clone. He escapes with a fellow clone he names Match (Bizarro, in a Project Match Clone Tube). I write a little snippet of the two at the Gotham Library learning how to read. Highly encourage you to read the extremely abundant reblogs! 
I Had a Nightmare Addition - 05.14.24*
DCxDP - Batman enters the Batcave to find Phantom sitting at the Batcomputer. Strange, for someone who has never been told the location of the Batcave. Angst. (Blood Blossoms)
Teen Titans and the Lost Boy Additions - 05.17.24* [AO3]
TTxDP - "After being on the run for a long time, Danny somehow stumbles his way into the middle of a fight. This leads to him joining the Teen Titans (much to his confusion)."
Reverse Robins with a Desiree Twist Additions - 06.19.24*
DCxDP - What if Damian wished to be the eldest? What if Desiree wanders into Gotham to grant it? Instead of turning Damian older, she turns the rest of the batkids younger in reverse order. (My additions are extremely angsty, a short Damian POV and a follow up Bruce POV)
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kenzirr · 3 months
Text
The streets were alive with the vibrant energy of Halloween. Children in costumes dashed from house to house, their laughter and excited chatter filling the air. Aaron Hotchner walked slightly behind his son Jack, his eyes trained on the boy’s superhero cape flapping in the cool October breeze. The rest of the BAU team accompanied them, each member indulging in the rare, relaxed evening away from the pressures of their work.
Spencer Reid, dressed in a low-effort but charming wizard costume, was explaining the origins of Halloween to a mildly interested Derek Morgan, who was humorously clad in a pirate hat. Emily Prentiss, who had opted for a subtle cat-ear headband, listened in, occasionally throwing in a playful comment.
“Did you know that Halloween dates back over 2,000 years to the Celtic festival of Samhain?” Spencer began, his enthusiasm for the subject clear.
“Yes, Reid, we know,” Derek interrupted, shaking his head with a grin. “You’ve told us at least three times tonight.”
“Well, it’s fascinating how traditions evolve over centuries,” Reid persisted, his eyes lighting up.
Hotch listened with a half-smile, appreciating the camaraderie and the light-heartedness that contrasted so starkly with their usual grim reality. The next house they approached was elaborately decorated with spider webs, jack-o'-lanterns, and a skeleton that cackled mechanically as they neared the porch.
Jack raced ahead, his plastic pumpkin bucket already heavy with candy. He rang the doorbell, and an elderly couple answered, their faces lighting up at the sight of the kids. Jack shouted his “trick or treat” with enthusiasm, earning a handful of chocolates.
“Thank you!” Jack said politely, and the couple waved them off with warm smiles.
Hotch nodded appreciatively at the couple before rejoining his team on the sidewalk. “Nice folks,” he commented.
“Yeah, they really get into the spirit,” Emily replied, adjusting her headband.
They moved on to the next house, which featured a spooky graveyard scene on the lawn. Rossi, who had been quietly enjoying the evening, remarked, “Remember when we used to take our kids trick-or-treating, Hotch? Seems like a lifetime ago.”
Hotch nodded, a wistful look crossing his face. “Yeah, it does.”
As they approached another house, this one more modestly decorated but with a welcoming glow from the porch light, Jack eagerly rang the doorbell. This time, a young couple answered, their baby in a pumpkin onesie in tow. They cooed over Jack’s costume and filled his bucket with an assortment of sweets.
The team continued their leisurely stroll, trading stories and jokes. They reached a house with an intricately carved pumpkin display. Jack, always observant, admired the craftsmanship. “Dad, look at this one! It’s amazing!”
“It is,” Hotch agreed, appreciating the detail. The door opened, revealing a middle-aged woman who greeted Jack with a bright smile and handed him a candy bar.
As they walked away, Derek leaned in to Hotch and whispered, “Remember when Halloween was just about free candy?”
Hotch chuckled. “And now it’s about making sure our kids have a good time.”
They made their way to the final house on the block. This one stood out, not because of the decorations, but because of the inviting atmosphere. The porch light cast a warm glow, and an array of pumpkins lined the steps. Jack bounced up the steps and rang the doorbell with the same enthusiasm as before.
When the door opened, Hotch’s breath caught in his throat. Standing there was a woman with rich brown skin, her jet-black hair cascading down her back in a flawless bussdown. She held a bowl of candy and wore a smile that lit up her entire face.
“Trick or treat!” Jack exclaimed, his eyes wide with excitement.
She laughed, a sound that was both musical and soothing. “Well, aren’t you the most adorable superhero?” she said, her gaze shifting from Jack to Hotch. She handed Jack a generous handful of candy. “Here you go, sweetie.”
“Thank you!” Jack beamed, clutching his newfound treasures.
Hotch stepped forward, almost involuntarily, captivated by her presence. “Happy Halloween,” he said, managing to smile.
“Happy Halloween,” she replied, her eyes lingering on him. “Enjoy the rest of your night.”
“Thank you, we will,” Hotch said, and with a final nod, he gently guided Jack back down the steps.
As they continued down the street, Aaron couldn’t help but glance back over his shoulder. The woman was still standing in the doorway, watching them leave, her silhouette framed by the warm light. He felt a strange sense of longing, a hope that he might see her again.
“Hey, Dad?” Jack’s voice broke through his thoughts.
“Yeah, buddy?” Aaron responded, tearing his gaze away from the house.
“She was really nice,” Jack said, still clutching his candy tightly.
“She was,” Aaron agreed, a small smile playing on his lips. “She really was.”
The night continued, filled with laughter, more candy, and a sense of normalcy that was often elusive in their line of work. But Aaron’s thoughts kept drifting back to the woman at the door. As they wrapped up the evening and headed home.
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if you guys wanna part 2 lmk!
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queenimmadolla · 1 year
Note
Eddie Munson x Diaper x Humorous
𝐝𝐚𝐝!𝐞𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐞, 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐧𝐲 '𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞 ─ because i don't want to keep track of a bunch of different dad!eddies
“Here’s what’s gonna happen,” Eddie started as he stared down at his baby girl, still a newborn at only fifteen days old. Penny paid him no mind, head turned to the side, lazy doe-eyed stare focused on the wall as her chubby cheeks bounced while she suckled on her pacifier. 
Eddie wasn’t falling for her cute act. She was adorable as fuck and all he wanted to do was stare at her all the time but Eddie knew what she’d done.
You were in the shower when your baby had grown fussy. Eddie had held a knuckle to her mouth and she tried aggressively to latch, her little head shaking with her efforts—so he’d warmed some of your breast milk, made her a bottle and fed her, cooing at her while she made those stupid freaking cute baby sighs as she ate.
He’d burped her, patting her back while holding her head up with his other hand as he sat her up on his lap and was delightfully surprised she hadn’t spat any of her breakfast up. Eddie had raised her to his chest, tucking her soft, sweet smelling head into the crook of his neck when she did it.
He felt her body tremors, heard her little baby grunts and then the gurgling.
The gurgling was not coming from her mouth.
He’d quickly pulled out her changing mat, a diaper, and set her down, but Eddie was afraid to unbutton her onesie. He feared what he’d find in that diaper.
“I’m gonna change you. Gotta get your cute little butt out of this diaper and into a clean one. Okay? I’m gonna change you,” He repeated, trying to stress the urgency of it even though he knew she didn’t understand him nor did she care, “and I’m gonna need you to not have blown it out, though. No poop on your back or on the onesie. Only in the diaper. ‘Kay? We got a deal?”
The movement of her pacifier stopped and she stilled for a moment, tiny wrinkly fingers curling into fists, causing Eddie to freeze—she was a pretty easy baby but sometimes she’d randomly start crying literally out of nowhere—before she relaxed again, cheeks bouncing as the pacifier sated her. 
Eddie sighed, shoulders slumping in relief, “Okay, alright. You called my bluff and tried an intimidation tactic on me. I see how it is, Princess.”
He finally bit the bullet and undid the bottom three buttons of her onesie, folding the front out of the way. Then he undid the straps of the diaper, holding his breath as he slowly opened it.
“JESUS CHRIST!”
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junekissed · 11 months
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what svt would dress their kids as for halloween
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member | dad!ot13 genre | headcanons, humor, fluff word count | 400 warnings | children below the cut (?), most of the babies are white i'm sorry it was super hard to find ones that weren't but don't pay attention to the kids they're just there to show the costumes! notes | all photos are from pinterest! this is based on a conversation i had with @duhnova earlier hehe :) comment which costume is your fav!
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seungcheol - pumpkin
he would spend so long looking online for the cutest one. he'd probably want to do a pumpkin patch themed photoshoot to go along with it
jeonghan - lion
honestly i think he just went to spirit halloween at the last minute and picked out the silliest one he could find. fortunately for you they were out of the avocado costumes
joshua - grandma/grandpa
i think he would just get such a kick out of it. he would bring them to your parent's house and he would make those stupid jokes that waiters do when babies eat at restaurants like "oh no margaritas for her, she's driving" or handing the check to the baby "dinner's on him tonight"
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junhui - elephant
i have no reasoning for this one just a gut feeling tbh. he would probably like the big floppy ears. and also the fact that you told him if he dressed up your kid as a cat for the 3rd year in a row, you would throw the costume away (you wouldn't but you had to get him to change somehow)
hoshi - tiger
do you even have to ask. your baby has been wearing tiger onesies since they left the hospital
wonwoo - ladybug
i think he would think the little red and black spots are so cute :( he would be a very soft dad
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woozi - shark
he probably has a demo version of a remix of the baby shark song on his computer. he would be dressed as an octopus or a fish or something and he would pretend he hates it but he would secretly think it's funny
mingyu - giraffe
he's manifesting for your baby to grow up to be tall like him a giraffe
minghao - skunk
again i don't know why i think this i just do. the black and white seems very minghao to me
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seokmin - chicken
he would insist you have the cutest baby in the neighborhood and he would just be grinning and giggling the whole time. look at those little orange feet aren't they so precious. he would dress up as a farmer and carry around a basket of plastic eggs
seungkwan - monkey
he would dress up as a banana. also probably makes jokes "there better not be any monkey business tonight"
vernon - pineapple
i'm just laughing thinking about vernon holding a baby dressed like a pineapple
chan - bat
he would want to do a halloween-y costume and he thinks the little wings are cute. might dress up as a vampire to match
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i hope you enjoyed this!! if you did, consider reblogging or leaving a comment or an ask :) it shows me this is something people want to see more of, and knowing people like this makes me want to write more of it! thanks for reading!!
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toruandmidori · 1 year
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Apparently Halloween is also for kids! WHO KNEW. 
Spookify the little terror in your life this Halloween with our funny and TERRIFYINGLY cute kids clothes and onesies!
Buy online now! Shop the full Halloween range here, individual links below: 
I NEED TO UNWIND
STUCK ON SHUFFLE
BE MY VALENSTEIN
PROTECT YA NECK
EMPTY INSIDE
JOIN THE FANG CLUB
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I Only Cry When Ugly People Hold Me Bodysuit Onesies®
I Only Cry When Ugly People Hold Me funny humorous Onesies®. Nothing matters more than a baby's comfort, and this one piece is the right choice for all active babies. The envelope neckline and three snap leg closure ensure comfort throughout the day.
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All items are created or designed by Granny & Grandpa's Custom Creations. We also print and heat press our items using our professional, commercial grade heat press! Each design is made with High Quality, Heat Transfer Vinyl. All of our bodysuits and t-shirts are made to order in a smoke free and pet free home. We only print on genuine Gerber Onesies® and Children’s Place. Gerber Children’s Wear holds the trademark for the word “Onesie®”. The term “Onesie®” is to reference the Gerber label and to describe the genuine Gerber Children’s wear products we use at Granny & Grandpa's Custom Creations.
Care instructions: Turn item inside out, machine wash cold, no bleach, no softener. Do not dry clean. Do not iron. Tumble dry low.
Please also know that although every effort is made to photograph my items accurately, color may differ slightly from photos due to different monitor settings. Please contact me with any questions about the color or size of any item before purchasing. Have something in mind that you’re looking for? I love custom orders! I can make custom changes to all existing designs that are currently available in my shop. Please send me a message, and I’ll be happy to help!
After a package leaves my hands with the post office, Granny & Grandpa's Custom Creations is not held responsible. Current Turnaround Time due to upcoming Holidays - 1-5 Business Days. While we always use priority shipping options, once shipped we cannot guarantee delivery due to the backlog current being experienced USPS/UPS/FedEx. If you have a strict deadline, please message me when ordering so that I can note any rush requests. Ownership of packages turned over to USPS transfers to the Buyer. We are not responsible for lost, held, damaged packages or delayed packages, once your package(s) leaves our Shop it is completely out of our control. Thank you for understanding!
Thank you so much for supporting our "small Granny & Grandpa's Shop", we truly appreciate YOU! Please visit www.grannygrandpascustomcreations.com/shop to view more of our creations!
Due to different picture lighting settings the actual color might vary a bit from the pictures.
Please visit www.grannygrandpascustomcreations.com to view more products.
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I Only Cry When Ugly People Hold Me funny humorous Onesies®. Nothing matters more than a baby's comfort, and this one piece is the right choice for all active babies. The envelope neckline and three snap leg closure ensure comfort throughout the day.
These gender neutral Gerber brand Onesies® are incredibly comfy! Both the bodysuits and t-shirts are printed on 100% cotton for a super soft feel. These unisex baby bodysuits are great to use as a take home outfit, baby shower gift or everyday attire!
All items are created or designed by Granny & Grandpa's Custom Creations. We also print and heat press our items using our professional, commercial grade heat press! Each design is made with High Quality, Heat Transfer Vinyl. All of our bodysuits and t-shirts are made to order in a smoke free and pet free home. We only print on genuine Gerber Onesies® and Children’s Place. Gerber Children’s Wear holds the trademark for the word “Onesie®”. The term “Onesie®” is to reference the Gerber label and to describe the genuine Gerber Children’s wear products we use at Granny & Grandpa's Custom Creations.
Care instructions: Turn item inside out, machine wash cold, no bleach, no softener. Do not dry clean. Do not iron. Tumble dry low.
Please also know that although every effort is made to photograph my items accurately, color may differ slightly from photos due to different monitor settings. Please contact me with any questions about the color or size of any item before purchasing. Have something in mind that you’re looking for? I love custom orders! I can make custom changes to all existing designs that are currently available in my shop. Please send me a message, and I’ll be happy to help!
After a package leaves my hands with the post office, Granny & Grandpa's Custom Creations is not held responsible. Current Turnaround Time due to upcoming Holidays - 1-5 Business Days. While we always use priority shipping options, once shipped we cannot guarantee delivery due to the backlog current being experienced USPS/UPS/FedEx. If you have a strict deadline, please message me when ordering so that I can note any rush requests. Ownership of packages turned over to USPS transfers to the Buyer. We are not responsible for lost, held, damaged packages or delayed packages, once your package(s) leaves our Shop it is completely out of our control. Thank you for understanding!
Thank you so much for supporting our "small Granny & Grandpa's Shop", we truly appreciate YOU! Please visit www.grannygrandpascustomcreations.com/shop to view more of our creations!
Due to different picture lighting settings the actual color might vary a bit from the pictures.
Please visit www.grannygrandpascustomcreations.com to view more products.
LET’S GET SOCIAL & BE FRIENDS! Like, Tag & Follow us for Our new Creations, Inspiration & Giveaways!
website/ www.grannygrandpascustomcreations.com/shop
facebook.com/ https://www.facebook.com/GrandpaHandmadecreations/
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chuluoyi · 1 month
Note
Baby gojo reacts to: megumi!🖤🐺
“just for three hours, can you do it?”
“…yeah.”
megumi stares at the blinking miniature of his sensei quietly, as the baby looks back at him too in silence.
“well then!” gojo claps his hands before turning to you. “let’s go, sweets! we have a willing, trusty babysitter to take care of him!”
you shoot your husband a glare before turning to megumi. “sorry, megumi. we have to go to school and investigate the recent cursed spirits outbreak, and it doesn’t feel right to bring him there.”
“i don’t mind, nee-san,” megumi replies to you almost nonchalantly, throwing a glance at your baby in his hold. “i’ll keep an eye on him.”
that’s what megumi said, but even he doesn’t know what he’ll do with a baby in his apartment. at first, he puts the kid on his bed and he immediately sits up straight and turns to him.
“what?” he questions the baby as if he could answer him. “do you feel cold?”
the munchkin is dressed in a frog onesie with two round eyes on the hoodie, so maybe he doesn’t feel cold, megumi thinks. in the next half an hour, he and the baby are in staring match, as he doesn’t even squeak once.
“you must be bored here,” megumi sighs, starting to feel bad that he can’t entertain him. “maybe i should ask her to accompany me next time…” his thoughts flit to the chirpy girl in his class, whom he knows will have many ideas to humor a baby.
maybe it can also be an excuse to spend time with her too.
suddenly, baby scoots closer to his side and leans to him, closing his eyes— and megumi feels warm inside.
“ah,” a small smile lights his face at the sight of this cute creature depending on him so trustingly. he pulls him closer and pats his back, before wrapping his arms around him to keep him in place.
“okay, let’s sleep together then.”
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7 Deadly Diapers, Ch. 3: Gluttony pt. 2 (TW: addiction, weight shaming, and body shaming)
“Uhhhh How should I know?” Whitney cocked her eyebrow and in confusion, a chuff of humored air escaped her lips.
“Oh gee, I don’t know. Maybe because my gym bag was right where I left it this morning and now YOU’VE filled it with this! Was starving me not enough?” Ethan steamed.
“Look I really don’t know where all that stuff came from but why don’t you just—?”
“Grab some other clothes? Yeah yeah, I saw what you did to the wardrobe too! My clothes are all gone and all that’s left is shit like this!” Rifling in the bag for a moment he snakes out a pale blue, form fitting, snap-crotch baby onesie but sized up for an adult. Whitney covered her mouth to stifle any giggles. After a stutter she clears her throat.
“Okay Ethan, what’s going on? Where’d you even get that thing?”
“In our closet! Where YOU put it!— no. No! Fuck this. Fuck you. I’m not entertaining any of this anymore. Now if you aren’t gonna tell me where my shit is, I need something to wear to the gym.” He holds out his hand, “give me your sweater. C’mon.”
Whitney realized that this situation was quite confusing for the both of them, but the tone in Ethan’s voice threatened an argument she didn’t have any energy for after their last one five minutes ago. With a sigh, she works the sweater up and off of herself. Ethan watched with a tapping foot and a huff until he saw what laid beneath her bulky, unflattering top layer.
His eyes followed up to her belly button now nestled in a gently slimmer figure, then to her waist which smoothly swayed inward with healthy folds, and finally he was struck by sheer awe as he was introduced to her new, swollen, double D-cup boobs held up by a bra that practically buckled under their weight.
“W-whoa.. uh.. I..” he gulped and stuttered. The entirety of his demeanor shifted suddenly. His lips smacked hungrily as drool pooled in his mouth and started escaping his open jaws.
“Uh, Ethan?.. Hello! Earth to Ethan?!” Whitney snapped impatiently causing her husband to slurp up the string of slobber dangling off his lip and clear his throat. But she noticed where his line of sight was. “What are you looking at you perv..? Ugh do you want the sweater or not?”
Something stirred in his stomach however as he looked at the sweater and his wife’s ample bosom. He was met with a decision for where the conversation and their dynamic would go next. And he didn’t like what his brain craved more out of the two options. His stomach, however, was all too willing to give him away. It snarled hungrily.
GARGLLLLLGLLR!!
“Ahem. Uh.. pardon me.. erm.. about dinner. I’m.. sorry.” He scratched his head in shame.
“You’re what?”
“I’m sorry! Okay? Uh… I should be more.. thankful! And ready to drink— NO! EAT Whatever you prepare for me..” he approaches her. A crazed, desperate and almost addict-like look in his eyes, even going so far as to move her sweater-holding hand out of the way. She put her foot up haphazardly and unintentionally against his crotch to stop him.
“Whoa there, tiger! What’s your angle?” She said, bewildered by his unusual change of heart. But amidst her confusion, a pang of discomfort struck her in both nipples. She winced and grasped her breasts. Pulling her hands away she noticed a white substance left behind from their tips. She was lactating. But the revelations didn’t stop there. She couldn’t help but spot that her husband’s eyes were locked onto the puddle of rich milk in her palm like a junkie, ready to relapse.
Curious, she lifted her palm towards his face and after a terse moment of silent internal conflict… Ethan began to lap up the milk like a newborn kitten. Whitney’s thoughts began to wander somewhere a bit more devious watching her critical, body-shaming husband desire her breast milk so eagerly. Until finally she had her plan come together. A wry smile wrapped over her face.
“Oh yeah~? You want these puppies that bad? Gosh… You sure don’t look the part though…” she sultrily nods towards the gym-turned-diaper bag, letting her diabolical plot begin to unfold, “You know what I want you to put on. Chop chop, mister! The gym can wait…”
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subwonwooagenda · 4 months
Note
Hi Annabelle! I checked your profile and wasn’t sure if your requests were open or not. If they aren’t, please feel free to ignore this.
However, if they are, I was wondering if you could write something about Pezzy with a (preferably black) plus size female reader? I was thinking the guys (Droid, Grizzy, Puffer, and whoever else is in that group idk them all) do another sleepover stream, and they keep asking Pezzy to invite his girlfriend since nobody knows what she looks like. He gives in and has her come over, and everybody (stream audience included) is shocked because she’s so pretty. Like, they don’t understand how Pezzy got her because everyone thinks she’s out of his league. At some point she goes to the bathroom real quick and everyone is asking if it’s a joke or something but still can’t believe he’s serious about it. (I feel like Grizzy would be really happy because she’s black lol) She comes back from the bathroom and starts making dark jokes or has the same sense of humor as everybody else there, and the guys are like “oh yeah, she’s definitely dating the right guy” or something and they accept her, and have a really fun rest of the stream. When it ends, she lays down with Pezzy and reassures him that she loves him and doesn’t want anyone else.
Sorry this is so long, I thought I saw something that said the more detailed the better so I hope this is more than enough information lol. Love your work!
Hello!! They are open even though my adhd makes me procrastinate asks but I’m trying to push them out! I LOVE LOVE LOVE this ask, i appreciate it so much. I really hope you like it, if I missed something let me know and I’ll rewrite it!
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Sleepless Worries
Black!Fem!Plus Size!Reader X Pezzy (FT. Grizzy, Puffer, and Droid)
using puffers sleep stream to base this off of, the one where Droid and Pezzy had matching onesies
Warnings: Grizzy uses the n word. I AM A BLACK WOMAN SO CHILL BEFORE YALL COMMENT. Some cursing, sexual humor, unhinged chat, I don’t know if pezzys ever dated anyone plus sized, if he has then my bad lol, if there is any spelling errors please let me know and I can edit it. I will not tolerate hateful comments or bullying, you will be blocked.
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In all honesty, Pezzy thought you were gonna say no.
He’s asked you a million and one times to meet his closest friends, you always told him no. You wanted to make sure you and him were truly gonna work out before you both met each others people. He knew why you were nervous. You were unlike any of the women Pezzy ever dated, and although you never really felt many insecurities about your size, you knew how cruel the internet could be so you didn’t feel ready at the time to put yourself in their view.
But here you were, getting ready to join him on Puffer’s sleep stream. You figured he would ask you, the entire stream the boys were pestering him to invite you, which in turn roped chat into pestering him and Pezzy is indeed a weak man when it comes to you. Sue him for wanting to cuddle his baby as chat scares the shit out of them with scuffed audios.
By the time you were ready, you heard your front door open and close, knowing that your lovely boyfriend let himself in with his extra key. You laughed to yourself as he bursted into your room, adorned in a green onesie with a four leaf clover on the front. He instantly lit up when he saw you.
“You don’t have to do this if you’re not ready, baby. They can wait as long as you want them to wait.” He, yet again, assured you. You loved how assuring he was to you but you were honestly getting a little annoyed with his constant reassurance.
You smiled and cupped his face with your hands, pressing a soft kiss to his lips, his hands immediately finding their place in your plush hips. “It’s okay, Pez. I wanna do this, I think we’ve made them wait long enough.” You laughed, enjoying the feeling of his hands on your body. He let out a big sigh, placing a kiss on your nose this time, smiling fondly as your nose scrunched up. “I guess I just wanna keep you to myself just a little bit longer.”
You kissed his cheek, shaking your head at him fondly as you pointed at your computer monitors which displayed Puffer’s stream, “Come on, babe, they’re waiting on us.” You gave him no room to complain as you grabbed your phone and blanket. Pezzy grabbed your bag which held your skin care, silk bonnet and your stuffed Yoshi that Pezzy won you at a carnival. What’s a sleepover without a secondary cuddle buddy?
Pezzy and you held hands as you walked the short walk back to the house, talking about anything and everything. He could tell you got a little more nervous the closer you got to the house. Your free hand was fiddling with the ends of your hair, a new wig that you installed that morning. “Don’t worry, they’re gonna love you. I think you and Grizzy will get on better than anyone.” He chuckled, feeling a bit better when he saw the smile on your face. You were close to the same age as Grizzy and you were black so he figured you two would be the best of friends very quickly.
You knew how much the three boys meant to Pezzy. His absolute best friends so the last thing you wanted was to make a terrible impression. Pezzy wasn’t worried about it though. He knew you. He knew the way you acted and the wonderful humor you had, he knew you would be just fine.
He gave your hand yet another squeeze when he unlocked the front door, laughing softly at the small jump you gave when you both heard yet another scuffed buzz lightyear commercial. “Unfortunately, that will happen a lot.” He mumbled.
“Pezzy? That you?” You heard Puffer ask, another voice, Droids, adding in, “Imagine it’s not. We might get murdered, dog.” He said, the rest of them laughing at the thought. Pezzy shouted back to them, pulling you along with him as he stepped into the room.
Puffer was kind enough to mute the streams audio so they could properly meet you without Chat hearing as Pezzy introduced you all to eachother. You gave them a smile and a wave, not exactly knowing why you were so nervous when all three of them smiled at you so widely.
“It’s actually crazy that you’re real.” Grizzy joked, all of you laughing as Pezzy threw his hands up and rolled his eyes. “Are you sure you’re not kidnapped?” Droid asked making Pezzy throw a pillow at him. “I’m sorry! She’s just too pretty man, it’s wild you bagged her.” They joked.
Pezzy set up some of your things on his side of the couch, kissing your cheek as you told him you were going to the bathroom, walking off into the direction Its almost as if the mood shifted a bit, the boys instantly fixating on Pezzy.
“….What?” He asked them, which seemed to open the floodgates. The boys instantly began questioning him. They thought it was a prank or maybe Pezzy felt that with all their jokes on their videos and streams, he felt like he had something to prove to them so he faked a relationship with you to get them to shut up.
To be honest, Pezzy felt a tiny bit of sadness that they apparently thought that he couldn’t get with someone as beautiful and great as you. When they noticed he got a little bit sad, they felt bad. They didn’t mean to come off as rude or mean, they were just genuinely blindsided by you. But from the way Pezzy looked at you, like you hung the stars in his sky, they were quickly losing their doubts.
Meanwhile.
You were silently laughing your ass off. You did your business and as you were washing your hands you noticed a certain bottle sitting on the counter. The bathroom you were in was shared between droid and Pezzy, so the fact that you found a bottle of lube just out and about made you double over in muffled laughter.
You knew it belonged to you and Pezzy. Droid was a virgin and Pezzy adored the ground you walk on so you know he would never cheat on you. You smirked to yourself as you got a wonderful idea, grabbing the lube as you left the bathroom.
You stood in the entrance of the hallway, not wanting the stream to pick up on what you were about to do. “So, I’m fine with Pezzy having a side boy, but which of you side boys enjoy cherry flavor?” You asked, all of them turning towards you. Their faces held confusion until they realized what you were holding, instantly doubling over in laughter.
In between his laughter, Puffer nodded his head. “Yup, you’re definitely Pezzy’s girl.” He confirmed. The other two nodded their head, shaking their head as you threw the lube in Droids lap, laughing as he screams. Pezzy patted the spot next to him, smiling as you sat with them.
You were in between Pezzy and Droid, happily snuggling into the blanket you and your boyfriend were sharing. Puffer got up to fiddle with his stream settings, monitoring the chat. The boys promised Pezzy that if anyone was saying anything negative they would end the stream, without question. But from what they could see, the chat was full of compliments and simps towards you.
Pezzy handed you your Yoshi plush, smiling to himself as you and Grizzy chatted. You both were talking very animatedly about the newest horror game he recently played on his channel. You played it yourself so you knew about the game very well. He counted himself lucky, he had some great friends and a wonderful girl.
He zoned back in at the loud sound of you and Grizzy dabbing up, “My nigga!” Grizzy shouted, both you and his laughter contagious as the other boys laughed along. Puffer unmuted the stream, all of you screaming at the loud sound that chat sent in.
You felt good. These were people that you knew would be a constant in the life you were living with Pezzy, and you found no nerves about that.
The rest of the stream went on without a hitch. You blended very well with the chaotic energy the boys had, and chat loved your presence, everyone being extremely respectful. Of course you had the negative comments about your skin color and your weight but with reassurance from you they didn’t end the stream and the lovely mods took care of it for them.
Once the stream ended, everyone went to their respective rooms, you bunking up with Pezzy. You both exchanged little whispers and sweet words as you both got ready for bed. As you both laid down, his arms tugging you as close to him as you could be, you could tell he was still slightly bothered by the comments the boys made at the beginning of the night.
You pressed a kiss to his jaw, making him look down at you. “I hope you know, you’re all I’ll ever need. I love you, and no matter what anyone says to you, that won’t ever change my feelings. You’re it for me.” He smiled down at you, pulling you closer as he kissed you, his hand, holding your leg over his lap. He appreciated your words, sighing contently as the doubts finally left him. He watched you fall asleep, his hand rubbing up and down your thigh. He was grateful you got along with his friends and he honestly couldn’t wait to see his favorite people all together again.
With that thought, he fell asleep with you, the feeling of your gentle heart beat soothing him into a wondrous dream.
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incorrectbatfam · 2 years
Note
Can Bruce read his gremlins a bedtime story?
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Once upon a time—
Ugh, no. Go back and try again.
Jason, let the man read.
Not when it sounds like that. It's Sleeping Beauty. A fucking five-year-old can do it.
Alright, starting over. Once upon a time, there lived a princess in a castle.
Where else would she live?
I get what you're saying. Where was I? Right. When she was born—
Can we go back for a second? What kind of castle are we talking about?
Not again.
A good story has detail, Cass. Now give me the layout. Is it more mid-century or a little earlier? What fortifications do they have? Do the floor plans allow for guards to covertly sneak around? Are they prioritizing enemy intimidation or civilian—
Mid-to-late-century, reinforced walls with hidden cannons and watchtowers, they have underground tunnels, and civilian trust because their only enemy is Maleficent. As I was saying—
What's their contingency plan?
Tim!
The story is the contingency plan, you wet sack of hamburger meat.
Wow, spoiler alert.
Someone called?
I thought you went home?
And miss this trainwreck? As if. Too bad Tumblr doesn't have more colors because Duke would love this.
Huh?
It's a fourth wall thing. Don't worry, I've been working on my impression of him.
Let's see it.
Please don't.
"My name is Duke. I cry at Lord of the Rings."
In his defense, Frodo and Sam have a beautiful friendship.
Back to the story. When she was born, her parents threw a grand jubilee where all the kingdom and its fairies was invited. The fairies all arrived with presents—
You think they would have a baby shower before the baby is born, right? What, the first few days they're just going without diapers?
This was the Middle Ages. They believed in leeching the humors out for a common cold.
Also, you can throw showers after the kid arrives. Our own dad did it.
At least you weren't the guinea pig. Try explaining to a bunch of important rich people who brought gifts that actually, there is no baby, it's me and I don't need diapers or footie pajamas.
Says the guy wearing a Kid Flash onesie.
Says the one in a Superboy shirt and conspiracy theory pants. Pick a side.
I have two hands and I'm not ashamed.
Okay, there's a lot to unpack there—
Jason married Roy!
What?!?
It's for tax benefits. Not all of us can own a multi-billion-dollar corporation.
Your name's on the will.
Yeah but I'm never gonna get it 'cause Bruce isn't gonna die long enough for me to use it.
What do you mean?
He's talking about the retcons. You should ask Duke, he can see into other dimensions.
Ooh.
Ahem, I believe Father was telling us a story. I speed-read it so I know they all die at the end, but I'd like to hear your delivery.
Damian, you're reading this morning's obituaries.
Same thing.
Truelove'skissbrokethespellandtheylivedhappilyeveraftertheend. Terrible job everyone, now lights out.
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