#hulk is a little shit

[pandagirl45]

Hulk: *pushing for chocolate*

Bruce: *starts reaching for the milk chocolate then snatches up the dark chocolate*

Hulk: *screeches in anger and mortification*

Bruce: you ate my fruit cake!!

Thor: *eating his pop tart very slowly watching Bruce fondly*

[duskfallsfang]

finished my durge run yesterday 😔

bye carver. you'll be missed lmao

[dreamlogic]

hey future me? next time you think it's fine to skip your PT exercises before bed bc you're too tired? don't. i'll kick your ass. it'll take 20 minutes, just do it or you'll wake up like

[darthbloodorange]

Time Travel Research

Rating: Gen Universe: Marvel Cinematic Universe Pairings: Avengers Team Members & Tony Stark, Avengers Team Members & Steve Rogers Characters: Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, Bruce Banner Warnings: None Major Tags: Humor, Press and Tabloids, Steve Rogers Being a Little Shit, Awkward Bruce Banner, Tony Stark is So Done, POV Tony Stark Word count: 100 - Drabble

Summery: Tony's asked a question about time travel at an Avengers press conference. Steve makes one of his 'jokes'… nearly causing an incident.

For the: ✦ @tonystarkbingo Round 8 prompt: Time Travel [Adopt] (Card: 8050)

Read below or on AO3 >HERE<

"Have you discovered time travel yet?" one of the press conference reporters asks.

"Nobody has. Not even Dr Richards. It remains fiction," Tony responds.

"I know how!" Steve speaks up.

"What?!"

"Please explain, Captain?"

"Sure," Steve says, with that big, 'butter-wouldn't-melt-in-my-mouth', boy scout grin.

Tony's gut sinks, knowing where this is heading.

"Get frozen!"

"Steven!" Tony exclaims, too late. He turns to the crowd "We don't condone freezing yourself!"

Undeterred, Steve continues, "So it's a two-step plan: Get the serum, get frozen."

Bruce leans into his microphone, "Uh, we don't condone attempting to replicate the serum, either!"

Tony facepalms, sighing.

THE END

[redfurrycat]

The Man from U.N.C.L.E and Top Gun Fusion - Hangster & Icemav

IceCold Agency and Inverted Agency are two adversary secret agencies, led by Iceman and Maverick respectively, forced to put aside longstanding hostilities and team up on a joint mission: stopping a mysterious international criminal organization that is bent on destabilizing the fragile balance of power through the proliferation of nuclear weapons and technology.

The only lead to infiltrate the criminal organization is a vanished scientist’s daughter, Natasha Trace. To retrieve the asset, Iceman and Maverick each send their best agent: the combat expert Rooster and the smooth-talker thief Hangman.

Thus is created the United Network Command for Law and Enforcement, a secret international intelligence agency. Code name: U.N.C.L.E.

[part 1] - [part 2] - [part 3] - [part 4] - [part 5]

[fuckmeyer]

if a vegetarian vampire drinks human blood, do their powers become stronger? (since generally vampires are stronger when they drink human blood?)

I’m thinking of this in the context of jasper’s curse, that he claims the emotions of his “prey”/victims make feeding unpleasant, but wouldn’t eating people enhance his ability, increasing his suffering? like a fucked up little positive feedback loop

yes! Edward mentions it in Chapter 14 of Eclipse:

"Human blood makes us the strongest, though only fractionally. [...] That's why [newborn vampires] are so strong, of course. The newborns are full of human blood - their own blood, reacting to the change. It lingers in the tissues and strengthens them."

human blood increases the intensity of Jasper's gift/curse, perhaps a detectable amount but not a crippling amount. i'm sure the loss of self-control/discipline/mental acuity that veggie vamps seem to have would also adversely affect Jasper's ability to control his gift.

stupid idiot boyloser in his fucked up little feedback loop :) get fucked

[ynwa4eva]

Tucking into a certain 2008 war propaganda movie about a certain tin man 😋😋 these used to be so good... But now they're ass... Because of woke

[batcavescolony]

Liking a comic character that has like next to no appearance is so fun (sad) because it's like

*group shot of characters*

"🔍IS THIS YOU?🔬my blorbo? I haven't seen you in years!🔎"

(Tag your blorbo)

[acerola-tree]

man with anger issues coded girl

[spider-man-2o99]

(trembling on the floor, foaming at the mouth, trying very hard to sound Normal): this fanfiction from 2003 stopped updating before it was able to deliver on its promises of vivisecting my favorite fictional guy like a science frog . i am blowing up the hostages

[pandagirl45]

Little shit Bruce. I headcanon a little shit Bruce Banner and a bigger little shit Hulk.

I know they are two separate people, but the thought that Hulk is petty as hell is hilarious (which he is). Bruce who is also petty but more recluse about it.

Bruce can look you in the eyes, meek smiles tell you to get bent. Bruce would absolutely make a formula just so one part of your hair grows less that the rest. Bruce would be that bitch that would grin smugger than others when someone says he prank them. Tony and Thor say, laughs and laughs. Saying Sam or someone else.

It was Bruce. It was always Bruce. Bruce who sometimes ask Hulk with assistance. Hulk who laughs in amusement.

Villains who think hulk is dumb gets schooled by a big insulting word he knew from banner. Hulk sh them as he carries them to police. The villain to shock to speak till hulk goes, "Found meanie."

The police give Hulk some food. The glint in Hulk eyes says the most. The hint of a smirk as the big giant fakes his lumbering.

Hulk is coordinated. Bruce is cunning. And no one will believe you. No one.

(It was fury, Bruce pranked fury)

[thedissociatives]

one of my teachers gave us a little extension task for when we finish the work to write a marvel film/tv show review :(

[boycritter]

every time someone says they’re friends with my ex to my face i seethe just a little bit more

[toytulini]

feels very strange to get podcast ads about how pride friendly orlando is rn what with the current political conditions of florida for very large swathes of the queer community

i mean i dont have any suggestions for like idk the marketing team of the orlando tourism board to do any better like i certainly wouldnt know how to advertise rn, thats a rough hand youre stuck with and i hope your shit ass transphobe fascist politicians drop dead.

just. wild to hear rn

[angel-bitch-boy]

It’s kind of sad to think we never got Vash, Wolfwood, and Livio (and Razlo!) combo, can you imagine all the fun moments? And Wolfwood actually happy for once??? Vash actually being happy for once??? Trigun is allergic to joy

hiiii back again. old triguns from two years ago i think

[oceantornadoo]

simon riley AND reader who are absolutely terrible at dating.

he ghosts you after the first date. you thought it was a once-in-a-lifetime connection with unmatched banter and crackling physical tension. guess not. you lose a couple of nights of sleep over it and chalk it up to men ain’t shit and move on.

simon who can’t stop thinking about your date as he gets shipped out the next day. runs through an op quicker than ever, barking at soap more than usual, toeing the line of unprofessional. every day that passes is a day he can’t touch his personal phone, leaving your text thread abandoned.

you get a text a month later. “you around?” have to check the thread to remember who it was, finding yourself absolutely shocked, struggling to remember the hulking mass of a man who made you giggle so much over that one dinner.

simon shows up to your picnic date with apology flowers and a new leather jacket. explains why he was gone without prompting, a gruff monologue as you find yourself getting distracted by the new scratch on his eyebrow and the scruff on his face. unconsciously, your fingers brush it barely, wanting to make sure it was real.

simon stops mid-sentence, gripping your wrist in an iron hold. the shock of what you did hits you, profuse apologies spilling from your lips as you try to explain and tug your wrist back. he won’t let you though, keeping it in place, your soft skin against his worn calluses.

“‘s okay, love. jus’ ask next time. still jumpy from work.” you finally snatch your hand back, embarrassment warming your body as you nod your head in acknowledgment. he thinks about letting the awkwardness settle and take roots, adding a string of failed dates to his black book.

instead you make the choice for him, attention catching on a nearby curious toddler. you give the little bugger a wave with your biggest smile, sticking out your tongue to make the kid laugh. simon decides then and there that he’s going to keep you.