#how to cure impotent man

[westcoastmenhealth]

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[adaptacy]

i am obsessing so hard over gale. like, i kid you not, i started out HATING him cause he was eating my artifacts and seemed completely useless in battle. but then i started a second playthru with my bf and i was like 'well im romancing astarion in my main so i GUESS i'll go for the other pretty boy'

....

it was the start of a very, very, very extreme brainrot fest.

so! as I learn more abt him (im in the shadow cursed lands rn, haven't had the sex scene with him yet so i dont know his character super well/im not super confident in portraying him) take this little snippet of wizard angst cause he needs a hug and i wanna give it to him :)

-------

“I reckon it’s sweet.” 

“Sweet?” 

“Sweet,” he clarified. “And smooth. Dare I say… simple. I must admit, I was somewhat befuddled with the absence of a necessity for complexities; you required no books, no training, no vexatious intricacies– it came naturally.” He remained fixated on a point off in the distance, perhaps watching the quiet rippling of the lake, just off the camp’s coast, undisturbed by the activity that usually stirred during the day. 

Peace was a mercy, and an uncommon one, but you felt it, here, with him. Like the eye of the hurricane that stalked you throughout Faerûn, the bloodshed and chaos that ruled your everyday life was far from absent, but it was silenced. Screams that echoed in your ears were muted, momentarily, granting you a glimpse of life before your adventure, before the hunt, before the cult, before the illithid’s influence. It would be short, but the fact that it occurred at all was a miracle. 

“Like wine.”

“Wine?” You chuckled, shifting a little closer, his arm coming to wrap around your shoulder, further warming you. 

“I predicted bitterness. A bite, or a sting. I’ve read stories about flavorful affections such as these. Stories. Can you believe it?”

“With how much reading you do? I can,” you hummed, resting your head against his side. 

“Tales, I believed them to be. I’ve seen love. Red love. Irascible, fractious love. Impotent, paralyzing love. Love like a raging sea. A love that I trusted. A fool I must’ve been.” There’s a short, woe-rooted chuckle that escapes him followed by a thin exhale out of necessity, out of defense. You knew who he was referencing, but you couldn’t bring yourself to mention the name. “Any sane soul would regret it.”

“Do you not?”

“There’s little time in this life– certainly, it offers no such room for regrets. I’ve wasted too many moonrises pondering the past.” His fingers graze your arm, and you allow your eyes to fall closed. “Many a wondrous thing I’ve witnessed. More than a man of my caliber should deserve. In a single lifetime, I’ve experienced more than a library's worth of literature could possibly cover.” He smiles, you can hear it in his voice. “From a mage’s best dreams to a direwolf’s worst nightmares– I’m sure I, myself, couldn’t have asked for a more thorough tour of what this plane, and a few others, have to offer.” 

“And yet there’s more.” Your remark is a light-hearted one, as you are sure everyone will have more to reflect on the closer you get to the cure you seek. 

But he sighs. A quiet one, restraint tightening his lungs, and you feel unease. “Amongst it all, I have even discovered what I once argued impossible. Simplicity. A priceless simplicity.” This time, when his arm moves, it brings you closer. He craves the contact, the connection struck between you. “Simplicity in love, of all things.”

Your eyes open to find his gaze no longer on the quiet riverbank, and instead on you. There’s a bruise on his left eyebrow, and a cut on the bridge of his nose. He’s pretty, even with the wounds, but you know they sting. A part of you feels guilty for seeing such beauty in his suffering. Deep down you know there is no Gale without suffering. 

At a glance, that’s all there is; a bruise, a cut, and a solemn smile. An exchange of pity for one another. Even for yourselves. An agreement, silent but strong. 

On further investigation, his eyes hold an unnatural glisten. Only then does it register.

“Gale…”

“It’s what’s best.” You sit up slightly, but you’re met with a gentle hush, and his smile grows, the dimples on his cheeks fired by an unknown audacity. “I’ve come to accept it. It is the decider of my fate– it always has been.”

“There are other ways,” you push out the words, and you find the bite, the sting, that he mentioned. In love, you find the pain. 

“Never did I imagine the world outside my tower to hold such beauties. Such contagious fragility. There are no books on this subject. No studies on this exchange of power. What is a puppet to do when he loses his creator? His puppeteer? When he can no longer stand, no longer dance, no longer perform? When obeying is all he knows, what does he do without direction?” 

He doesn’t sit up, he doesn’t stir. He looks back out to the waters. For guidance, maybe. For peace. For life. You’re left with no choice but to settle with the tide. A hand comes to rest on the dark imprint below his neck, desperate to find answers where the weave fails. 

“I have found simplicity. And, perhaps, that is the final step. I never imagined growing old. I suppose it isn’t meant to be.” He breathes, and you can feel the steadiness of his lungs. He isn’t scared. You can only wonder how long he’s contemplated this decision. “You see me. You look past the strings, my love, but that doesn’t mean they don’t still linger. I am but a man; I am no hero, I am no god. But if your safety is the only accomplishment I ever succeed in, I will lie satisfied in my earthly rest.”

“A few more days,” you whisper, pleading. 

“I only ask of you one thing.” Gale inhales, his heart pumping against your palm, pressing closer to his skin, desperate to feel him, to feel more than the orb, to feel more than Mystra’s design. You find his humanity in the tear on his cheek, the hair on his chest, the irregular mock of his heart’s rhythm. You find his humanity in his love, in his hopeless compassion, in his unwavering loyalty. “Don’t let that damned vampire even think about touching me.” 

He chuckles, and you do too, pulling yourself into his chest, hugging him close. He repays the affection, lips on the top of your head, his every breath lingering on your scalp. The peace remains, but you fear this may be your last serving of merciful tranquility.

You only hope it isn’t Gale’s. 

[waynes-multiverse]

Rehab – Prologue

Series Summary: Thanks to Soldier Boy, the CIA was able to develop Project Bloom under the fierce leadership of Grace Mallory: a final cure to Compound V and a hopeful end to the supe epidemic three years after the explosive incident at Vought. A secret rehab facility in Upstate New York is supposed to help former heroes find their way back to humanity. The catch, though? Soldier Boy has never fucking agreed to any of this shit and is surely not happy about being powerless for the first time in his goddamn long life.

Pairing: Soldier Boy/Ben x Female!Reader

Warnings: +18, language, general angst

Word Count: 778

A/N: Welcome, friends! I’ve missed writing for Soldier Boy, and I’m so happy to have this dirty, ol’ gramps back. Be aware, tho, that some topics are of a darker nature and it doesn’t necessarily have the happy ending y’all are imagining 😉 That being said, enjoy this prologue and lemme know if you wanna be on the series tag list for this story!

Feedback is my fuel 🖤

Main Masterlist || Series Masterlist

Prologue: rehab

“How are his latest test results?”

“Looking good, ma’am. His body is behaving exactly like we wanted it to. The Compound V is gone from his system after the third dose, and he’s recovering as expected. His vitals look very promising.”

“Good, good.” Grace Mallory nods at the young doctor in a white lab coat, a smirk playing across her thin lips as she looks at the unconscious fallen hero through the glass of his cryopod. “Wake him up and move him to the facility Upstate with the others,” she orders.

And so it happened that Soldier Boy was no longer a threat, the once most dangerous bomb on the planet defused, rendered harmless and impotent. These days, the former venomous snake was no more frightening than a toothless blindworm.

Y/N’s head lifts from the backgammon board in front of her and drifts to the commotion streaming in from the hall as the high-security metal entrance doors of the facility fly wide open. Curiously, she rises from her lounge chair, abandoning her winning match against her companion, and stalks closer, leaning against a concrete column. Three CIA agents hold down and wrangle with a furiously screaming man – broad-shouldered, longer sandy-blond hair, and neatly trimmed beard. They push him inside with all the strength they can muster while the guy in agony fights tooth and nail against the restraining arms around him.

“LET ME GO! I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU ALL! NO! NO! GET ME THE FUCK OUTTA HERE! YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME! NOOOO! DON’T YOU KNOW WHO THE FUCK I AM?! YOU FUCKING BITCH! I’LL FUCKING END YOU FOR WHAT YOU’VE DONE TO ME!”

Y/N, however, is not so surprised by that circumstance. After all, the guy’s not the first person that has ever tried to fight his way out of supe rehab. It happens all the time. In fact, she might be one of the few that actually came here willingly. Her brow significantly raises, though, as Grace Mallory strolls in behind the four men. Officially retired from the CIA but still in charge of Project Bloom, she only comes along for the special cases, the big fish, and as Y/N squints her eyes and takes a closer look at the newest arrival, her heart completely stops and drops to her slippers on the ivory linoleum.

“Is that–” She stumps, not daring to say the supe’s name aloud.

“Ben, yes,” Mallory nods and smiles, enjoying the struggle a little too much, her eyes practically fixated on the green-eyed man. “Of course, you might know him only as Soldier Boy.”

Y/N’s breath hitches in her throat. So it really is him. The sole reason why she’s here, the greatest superhero that ever lived who was captured and brainwashed by the commies – or so Vought claims. She’s never met him personally before today, but Soldier Boy’s surely been on the news a lot in recent years – the radioactive hero and his killing sprees. Whispered rumors among supes even say he fathered Homelander, which, if true, is just a blatant crime against humanity in and of itself.

“Do me a favor, Y/N? You’re our most experienced patient here – take him under your wing, make sure he adjusts and stays out of trouble,” Mallory says, albeit it’s unmistakably meant as an order. The CIA doesn’t do nicely phrased requests.

“Alright,” Y/N nods resolutely, hoping the former CIA deputy director doesn’t notice the thick swallow that drips down her throat. Her eyes swerve back to the man in question, one of the doctors forcefully ramming a needle into his jugular as the hero screams at the top of his lungs before his bowed legs give in. The violent green eyes lose their fight and close, and he succumbs to the linoleum with a loud thud worthy of his massive stature. “Is that really necessary?”

Y/N always hates when they sedate someone. After all, the clinic is supposed to help people, not necessarily torture them, albeit the CIA often shares a different view than her.

Mallory just scoffs darkly. “It is. Trust me. He’s a handful,” she notes condescendingly and rolls her eyes. “You have your work cut out for you with this moronic bastard. Don’t fall for his charm, and if he becomes dangerous, shoot him in the head. I trust your judgment.”

Y/N’s stomach churns at her words, watching as the former hero’s lifeless body gets dragged down the hallway into a room, the door locking behind him. And while she knows Soldier Boy is no innocent angel, she can’t help the sympathy that permeates her heart.

What do you see when you look at me? Don't cover my scars, let them bleed

Chapter 1: maybe

Mallory’s clearly not a Soldier Boy stan like us 😂 Hope you enjoyed this little intro, peeps! 🖤

Tag Lists:

Everything J (Prologue & Chapter 1 only): @extraterrestriali @this-is-me19 @writercole @awkward-and-indecisive @eevvvaa @panicking-outside-the-disco @globetrotter28 @imherefordeanandbones @dean-winchester-is-a-warrior @xlynnbbyx @jassackles @maggiegirl17 @perpetualabsurdity @deans-spinster-witch @deandreamernp @foxyjwls007 @roseblue373 @lyarr24 @deanwanddamons @deanwithscissors @mrsjenniferwinchester @justrealizedimmascifygurl @akshi8278 @flamencodiva @chriszgirl92 @wittyboldsoul @djs8891 @leigh70 @snowlovespie @b3autyfuldisast3r @ladysparkles78 @muhahaha303 @mimaria420 @creepzeyecandy @iamsapphine

Rehab Series: @eevvvaa @deans-spinster-witch @iamsapphine @jessjad @suckitands33 @ladysparkles78 @spalady26 @zepskies @syrma-sensei @muchamusedaboutnothing​

Note: Wanna be on the series tag and don’t see yourself yet? Lemme know! Everything J won’t be tagged anymore after Chapter 1.

[dolokhoded]

The 'hard at it' line gets even more suggestive in the context of how, like, a couple of days ago when Jonathan is cured, he says that he no longer feels 'impotent' and that he is now 'a new man' after that night, and Mina at the same time talks about how so full of vigor and grit and volcanic power he has been since that night...

OF COURSE that too. what i need everyone to know about dracula is that it's one of the horniest things you'll ever read and not for the weird dracmina reasons every adaption tries to make it out to be. "full of volcanic power" come On. Come On.

what's also really funny to me is jonathan's entry on that same day in which he talks about his entire day in detail, and then and the end there's just like. One Line where he's like "and THEN- uh......mina and i.......worked.......on the paperwork..." and he ends it there that's HILARIOUS to me. like it's ok jonathan harker you can say what you really did on the paperwork we won't judge you. probably don't tell the others though

[lya-dustin]

All is bliss

Chapter 3

Cw:mentions of std, description of syphilis, medieval punishments

Gif by @merlinaddams

Taglist: @mercedesdecorazon @darylandbethfanforever9 @aemondx

The Aemma that comes back is jubilant.

Not because of love, but because she is free of him.

Alicent recognizes that look in her because she once had it herself.

After that one last time that resulted in Daeron, the disease had eaten away at Viserys’ desire and his once mighty dragon had become a most pathetic worm.

Until the maesters say he is cured, Aegon is to abstain from all carnal acts.

A whore in the Riverlands had given him the pox and when they find her, her cunt will be scrubbed with lye soap and she will be put to death for spreading such a deadly disease to the future king of the realm.

The only issue, there had been too many given he had ---thank the gods--- a row with his bride and decided not to visit her bed.

“There is a problem, your grace.” The Maester begins and she knows it is bad news. Only bad news has been given to her these days.

“What sort of problem, Grand Maester?” she asks knowing he will have to repeat it to the Small Council soon enough.

“If the treatments work, Prince Aegon may become impotent. Lord Frey has not had a child since he recovered and neither has your lord uncle, Lord Ormund.”

Oh, do the gods love their japes.

They would need a Harwin Strong to sire and heir. A man to cuckold Aegon with in order to secure the succession.

A bastard will be king after all.

“Mention this to no one, do you hear me, Orwyle.” She ordered with a hiss.

No one can know Aegon’s sins have caught up to him.

Aemma is laughing on the swings she and Helaena loved as children.

“Aegon’s glory will die with him.” Helaena said beside her with a chuckle.

She spoke in riddles just as she did when they were children, on occasion Aemma understood her.

This time Aemma knows she is free of Aegon. Who will die with no legitimate issue.

The cures for this pox always leave the man unable to perform, or so her Septa had gleaned off the young acolyte that flusters when she speaks to him.

She may even become a widow, what joy!

“And how wonderful is that!” Aemma giggles trying not to be so loud.

She must play the loving wife, or at least tolerant wife in public.

But as long as he does not get into her bed ever again, she will be the devoted wife with a heart full of love.

Especially when she visits him in his sickroom while her goodmother, grandsire by marriage and other people who are allowed to know about his condition are there.

His illness has been kept a secret, well, the true nature of it anyways.

It is not chicken pox that he caught at an inn they stayed in.

It is syphilis, the Great Pox, the Lyseni Disease.

Not many survive it without losing their noses, or being disfigured, but Orwyle claims his colleague can cure him without such side effects.

“Are you with child?” he asks, remembering it has been nearly three moons since they wed.

“No.” her monthlies had come last week, and she had never been so excited to bleed.

“Shame. I suppose once I am cured, I can get back to sowing.” He said with a wink, trying to keep himself optimistic.

The look on the Maesters and the Queen says it all.

He will have no real heirs.

Aegon’s Glory will die with him.

Gods bless Alys Rivers and her magical cunt.

It takes another moon for Aegon to be cured.

Every day he was given strange teas, given a strange metallic ointment and made to sweat so the disease would not advance and destroy his face, genitals and drive him to madness.

Eventually, it went away, and he resumed his visits.

Visits she no longer cares for because she knows her belly will never swell with this seed.

She even smiles and pretends to enjoy it.

And the moment it is over she calls for a bath and goes back to her business.

Court did not lack for entertainment nor spiritual resources, but there were no topics beyond fashion, housekeeping, gossip and the gods here.

Even the card games became dull when all there was to talk about was things with little substance.

Some ladies did not read novels because their parents or husbands prohibited them.

Some don’t read histories because it wasn’t their place to learn anything beyond the basics.

Said it filled their heads with nonsense and all they needed to know was how to be dutiful wives and daughters.

Some ladies were not told about current events nor asked their opinions on such topics because it was unladylike.

“Have you finished reading Hardhome yet?” Aemond asked laying on the couch with his legs hanging over the edge.

Once they used fit there with knees bent and one on one end and the other on the other end.

Now she sits almost six feet away as it was proper.

No one here reads as much as they do.

Helaena could match them, but Daemion Velaryon never returned from his voyage and now Old Castle Driftmark passed to Daeron.

Besides people where whispering such horrible things now that she was with child again.

“Couldn’t put it down, if Maester Wyllis hadn’t run back to the lands beyond the Wall, I think I would have invited him here to ask him personally about his time there.” Aemma answers.

One of the great powers they had was that no one could refuse an invitation.

And if an author or a poet or inventor intrigued them, they could always summon them to learn first hand from them.

Just before she left Dragonstone, mother had the man who invented the printing press come and give a demonstration.

The first book made with it was a compilation of the few remaining pages of Signs and Portents, a book of prophecies hand written by Daenys the Dreamer herself.

Of course, then someone used the machine to write how Aemma’s brothers were bastards and mother a whore so she had Syrax burn it while Daemon cut the man’s tongue out for slander.

“You look happier now than you have been in days, has Aegon improved on acquaintance?” Aemond pretends his own question doesn’t bother him.

They got along like a house on fire despite the occasional butting of heads.

If only this were as easy as that with Aegon.

“Oh no, he is much worse. Orwyle should have humbled him a little by letting some of it scar.” Should she tell him?

He wouldn’t tell, he is not like that. Or so she thinks.

“Then what has you in such a good mood these days, you glow with joy so much I don’t think you need candles during the evening.” He is rather poetic in private, the woman he marries will be very lucky.

“Can you keep a secret?” she asks with a voice barely above a whisper and he swings his legs off the edge and sits on his couch.

Aemma almost leaps over the low table and takes up the space beside him. She is so excited to share this news she is practically on his lap.

“Aegon’s been left infertile.” She says with a squeal. Says it with as much joy a pregnant woman or soon-to-be bride has with their good news.

[world-cinema-research]

Fellini Satyricon (1969)

By Cris Nyne

A movie that I will never forget and would wind up influencing my taste in art and film as I grew into adulthood was Fellini Satyricon (1969). I was twenty one at the time in the year 2000 when my roommate brought home a copy and asked if I’ve ever seen it. I was immediately drawn in by the cover and the description of the film. It was suggestively maddening and hedonistic. At this point in my life, so was I. There was no way I wasn’t going to watch this film with him.

The film follows the journey of Encolpius, a young, handsome man that is lost in his quest to find himself as he searches for his young lover, Gitón. The taboo undertones of pedophilia will continue to rear it's ugly face throughout the film during a period of overtly decadent indulgence as Nero rule over ancient Rome was stretching society to it's brink of self destruction. Encolpius finds Gitón, only to lose him again to his old lover, part friend and part antagonist, Ascyltus. Ascyltus is the embodiment of an Alpha male that Encolpius is desperate to emulate, but he has become impotent. Fellini Satyricon follows Encolpius as he traverses through dream-like landscapes and obstacles in a hellish underworld to find a cure and regain his manhood.

During my formative years as a young teenager, my art hero was Salvador Dali. Upon watching Fellini Satyricon, it was as if this visual feast of a movie was directed by Dalí himself. As far as I can remember, my inclination towards the absurd and surreal was established. My parents were seventeen when they had me. My father was notoriously wild and provided no filter as to what I was exposed to at such a young age. By the time I was six years old, two of the movies that I remember the most detail of were David Lynch’s Eraserhead and Tobe Hooper and Steven Spielberg’s Poltergeist. I somewhat attribute this overexposure and visual imprint of ideas in my youth to the tastes that I have today. That, along with my appetite for psychedelics in my late teenage years as I made New York City my playground.

Original Italian film poster (1969)

The movie opened in Italy, to mixed but mostly positive reviews. At this point in time, Fellini was a well-established director, whose style was recognizable. Rotten Tomatoes lists Fellini Satyricon as having an approval rating of 76%. The total gross for its initial release was $1,138,108. The estimated budget for Fellini Satyricon was three million US dollars. This is not what one would call "financially successful." In comparison, the number one film in Italy that year, the spaghetti western “Once Upon a Time in the West”, generated $5,380,604, internationally. This film had some very well-known American actors (Charles Bronson, Henry Fonda) that would be a financial draw for the film. The cast of Fellini Satyricon were not very recognizable. Most brought onto the project were cast because of their look and how Fellini felt they represented a specific time during Nero’s Rome.

The scenes were strung together like a gaudy necklace of gemstones and beads; each one commanding attention to the smallest of details. Although Federico Fellini was a well-known director by this time, the color palette, out of synch dialogue, and ensemble of extras- some deformed, some staring straight into the camera as it pans across a well-curated alien landscape, made the film an enticing escape for unconventional film enthusiasts and artists. For some of Fellini’s fan base of his previous films, the trailers might have come across as more of a spectacle. The hard to follow plot and jarring visual images perhaps complicated the ultimate financial success of the movie. It would be three decades until the film was released on VHS and DVD overseas, where it would gain more notoriety as a film of cult status and see profitability.

Fellini Satyricon was based upon the incomplete novel by Gaius Petronius Arbiter. There were considerable gaps in the novel Satyricon, which gave Fellini the freedom to add his own fiction by filling in some of the spaces. It also comes across in the direction of the movie, as scenes seem to jump around in a fragmented way and lend itself to the feeling of surviving the earthquake that strikes towards the beginning of the film. Petronius was very close to the infamous ruler Nero and was known as his “Director of Elegance”. One could assume that parts of the novel were transcribed from real-life experiences and firsthand testimony, considering the reputation of Nero in an age of decadence and unsatiated desires. One of the earlier scenes showing the main character Encolpius and his young lover Giton, strolling past rooms of a brothel, almost seemed like it was taken out of reality, albeit distorted and dunked in LSD.

(Three days of peace and music, Woodstock, NY, aka the "Summer of Love". Three of the main characters in Fellini Satyricon were virtually unknown and cast from the hippie movement to better visually represent the atmosphere of first century Rome under Nero.)

I’m not sure if this film would be widely appreciated, or for that matter, even made in this current climate of selective morality and internet fanaticism. My taste in film and art in general has remained steady in style throughout the years. I love cerebral twists of overwhelming bewilderment. When I first saw the film 24 years ago, I was left with a disorienting cacophony of dialogue, music, and chatter. I found it as purposefully hard to follow and dark. An entangled, messy art film and that was that. I loved it. After watching it again, I still do. The only difference is, after growing more mature in age and researching the films historical relevance, this once confusing film now makes so much more sense.

[campgender]

mac’s tags

links + descriptions under the cut

note: some of these tags tumblr doesn’t like to link because of special characters; those will be added as tags to this post so they can be accessed from there.

all of the excerpts i post are tagged as “mac’s bookshelf.”

butch, femme, both

everything goes back to femme – some of the infinite fem(me) ways, both my own & others’. line from “Between My Fingers” by Stacey Park Milbern

they are our stigmata – butches & butch ways. line from “The Butch Question” by Judith P. Stelboum

butch/femme – romantic, platonic, sexual, & beyond

but what gets it for me is high femme – high femme posts & resonances; line from Stone Butch Blues by Leslie Feinberg

οἱ λίθοι κράξουσιν – “the stones will cry out,” from Luke 19:40. tag for stone sexuality more broadly - stone topping & bottoming, clothed sex, sex without touching

mutual polarization – femmebottom4femmebottom; answers to the perpetual “what’re they gonna do, get in bed & hold hands?”

double role playing – futch, stem(me), & others who embody both butch & fem(me) identities. phrase from a quote by narrator Mattie interviewed in Boots of Leather, Slippers of Gold

sex

impurity culture – sex ed & building a sexual ethic

tomorrow sexting will be good again – sexting-as-sex + related practices & boundaries. a play on Foucault’s quote “tomorrow sex will be good again,” also the title of a book by Katherine Angel

places to be had by – non-normative sex from a crip high femme lens. denial, vaginismus, impotence & other non-penetrative wonders. line from “The Cure for Melancholy Is to Take the Horn” by Natalie Diaz

another night wandering the desire field – longing & fantasy; line from “From the Desire Field” by Natalie Diaz

eat your meals at the red table of my heart – the feminine urge to treat a man like your dog & other assorted high femmedom viscera. line from “If I Should Come Upon Your House Lonely in the West Texas Desert” by Natalie Diaz

why not take me now as i am? – kink, leather, promiscuity, cruising; line from “Shameless” by Tyler Glenn

bottom text – bottoming & the meanings imposed on it

one must imagine the wound man in sexual ecstasy – S&M

simone weil says that when you really love you are able to look at someone you want to eat and not eat them – looking at someone you want to eat. line from “After the Movie” by Marie Howe

indignity of risk – forthcoming poetry chapbook about eroticizing / playing with chronic illness

asexual tendencies – phrase from Asexual Erotics by Ela Przybylo

spirituality

in the dark i thought i heard somebody call – spiritual experiences, posts that resonate with my spiritual beliefs + practices. line from “To the Dogs or Whoever” by Josh Ritter

habitual intertwinement – drug use; phrase from “4mg of Phenomenology” by Dr. Simone Dennis

quaker tag – Quakerism & pantheism

❌ – rage in the key of religious trauma. the red X symbol was used by Tyler Glenn (in lipstick on his face & later a tattoo on his wrist) in his 2016 album Excommunication

i got the holy roll ❤️‍🔥 – christian trauma but make it fashion. line from “Fever Pitch” by Rainbow Kitten Surprise

self-image, mirroring, & ancestry

she steals the show (she is the show of difference) – a gender tag of sorts. line from “Revealing Femmegimp” by Loree Erickson

epistemic love poem – hermeneutical justice; the frameshifts that enables us to recognize our own oppression + discuss our experiences. phrase from poem of the same title by Heather McHugh

all day my body accepts what it is – things that make me go “me shaped!” + fat art, fat fashion. line from “August” by Mary Oliver

fag4dyke <3

you are the result of the love of thousands – ancestorship in general; line from Dwellings: A Spiritual History of the Living World by Linda Hogan (i haven’t read this i just liked the quote)

unnatural frequency – people & figures i consider personal ancestors + moments of highly specific resonance across time & space

fashion

lipstick technology – phrase from The Color Pynk: Black Femme Art for Survival by Omise’eke Natasha Tinsley

​how we dress the mouth reflects what we need it for – lipstick; line from Lipstick: A Celebration of the World’s Favorite Cosmetic by Jessica Pallingston

it’ll be the goddamned dress they bury me in. – red dress dreams; line from “What Do Women Want?” by Kim Addonizio

i am tough; i’ve got nails like god – nail art, fake nails as femcrip technology, high fem manicure emotions. line from the song “Nails Like God” by McCafferty

disability

life is in your house too – homeboundedness

tabula rasa – memory loss

the epic highs & lows of emotional lability – severe mood swings (in this case related to brain damage)

movements of the uncontrollable body – movement disorder; phrase from piece of the same name by Bronwyn Valentine

[abuddyforeveryseason]

This is the Buddy for March 22nd. It's a gif. I basically just drew the body and part of the face, then added multiple other layers with different mouth and eyebrow positions. It doesn't look too accurate, but, I'd say it's as good as South Park, at least.

When I was planning on writing a book with Buddy as a character, he was portrayed as a chain-smoking, misogynistic incel. This is partly because Buddy is based on some people I knew in high school, but also, I'm afraid, because he's partly based on me.

It's weird but, I think if my life had turned out just a bit different, I'd be part of the manosphere.

I've been checking out a book called It's a Man's World: Me's Adventure Magazines, the Postwar Pulps. I was interested in the relationship between those adventure magazines and the more beloved Science Fiction and comic books, especially since a lot of artists would do work for all of them.

The art is interesting, for sure.

But I assumed, having only seen some covers and shallow details online, that the content of the magazines would be wholesome adventure stories and quaint softcore pin-ups. I was surprised to see how much of it was focused on masculine neuroses - quack cures for impotence and frigidity, how to figure out if your wife's cheating on you, your wife's lesbian tendencies, your gay tendencies, how to lose weight, bulk up, communists stealing your women, teenagers stealing your women, women stealing your women, crossdressers stealing your women, why no woman wants a virgin, how to build muscle, fluoride causes impotence, and nonsense like that.

For instance, this example of male paranoia:

I'd have assumed that back in the fifties, men didn't need to worry about those non-issues. Didn't that only start when feminism ruined society?

Seems to me like even back then, people were complaining about threats to masculinity. It's almost like that paranoia wasn't a reaction to losing their stance in society.

[storepakonline]

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[westcoastmenhealth]

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[eyes-of-mischief]

weekly fic recs | 54

fandoms: dbh, dc, genshin, pjo, tgcf

dbh

Reassembly by esama

Connor isn't supposed to do this. He has a mission to accomplish.

But that's the thing with deviants - they have the capacity to selfishly want things for themselves.

Paint a Pretty Picture by liketolaugh

Connor can't deal with change anymore. He can't deal with stress, can't deal with yelling, or arguments, or accusations or guilt. He can't make friends the way Hank wants him to, can't understand the things Markus asks of him- he can't, he can't, he can't.

Connor was so much better at being a machine than being a deviant.

So he goes back.

goofy by aworus

“Why’d they make you look so goofy,” Hank said, hatred curling his lips into something angry and disgusted. “And give you that weird voice?”

Connor, a machine, had responded promptly and succinctly and with a little bit more sass than strictly dictated by its programming. It was entirely unbothered by the insult.

Connor, a deviant, months later, is bothered.

genshin

someday the dawn will break by starblooms 

(major character death)

The wind sang tales of the returning light.

messed around and got attached to you by cicinmage

(explicit)

Aether without his sister is an Aether without anyone to temper his darkest impulses--without anyone to stop him from killing everything and everyone in sight.

Or, in the case of the defeated eleventh Harbinger: fucking them.

Aether, What Are You Doing? by oh_fudgecakes

With a final wave, Ganyu turns to head back towards Yuehai Pavillion. Just as she begins to ascend the stone steps into the building, however, she hears the distinct sound of a loud splash. She turns around, perplexed, to see Aether standing in one of Yujing Terrace's ornamental ponds.

"Aether?" Ganyu calls, bewildered. "What are you—"

Aether turns around at the sound of her voice.

He is holding a fish in both hands.

Ganyu blinks once, and then twice, but the bizarre sight does not go away. Aether just blinks back at her with an equally puzzled expression.

Ganyu blinks a few more times.

"Aether," she says slowly. "Are you… catching fish with your bare hands?"

...

Aether does video game things while other characters watch with growing bewilderment.

pjo

Stars on the Water by liketolaugh

"I dunno, I just think it would make a lot of things easier for a lot of people," Percy said to Thalia, when she just stared at him. His cheek rested in his hand, a rare pensive look leaving his eyes distant and unfocused. "Mom has Paul now, so it’ll be easier on her if she doesn’t have to worry about me mucking things up. Dad won’t have to keep threatening war every time Zeus gets his toga twisted. The prophecy’s done, so I won’t be bringing it down on Nico. And no one will have to worry about me blowing up another volcano."

pjo x dc

Annabeth and the Nine Step Career Plan by feeling_the_aster_9145

Annabeth Chase does not accept limitations. Everyone knows that. If she wants something, no matter how impossible, she will find a way to make it happen. Though, perhaps she will allow Bruce Wayne and his ridiculous paranoia-induced company restrictions a small portion of the credit.

Actually… now that she thinks about it, the man may have had a point in his worries.

Wayne Technologies does not accept college interns. Annabeth always has a plan B.

tgcf

Some Ghosts Discuss Hua Chengzhu's Dick by ivoryandhorn

“Yes, but…,” a frog-faced fellow in a pot broke in timidly. “I heard some of the who—”

The courtesan raised her fan threateningly.

“—ghosts of negotiable affection—” the frog-faced one hastily corrected, and the courtesan lowered her fan with a sniff, “—saying that he couldn’t—you know—that—”

The pot went flying with but one smack. “Miserable feast for dogs!” the shadows sneered. “As if Hua Chengzhu’s dick wouldn’t be enough to cure impotence that had lasted a thousand years! Do you dare doubt Hua Chengzhu’s prowess in bed?!?!?!”

Beast With Two Backs by VampireFaun

(explicit)

Xie Lian isn’t particularly worried about the progress of his relationship with Hua Cheng. After all, Hua Cheng seems to be fine with just kissing and hugging for now; wouldn't it be weird to ask for something else? Maybe one day they’d do more, when Xie Lian is ready. He wants to be ready.

Then, Xie Lian has a nightmare.

Black Sword Beheads Flower by Pteropoda (SilentP)

The man standing over him has eyes like knives, sharp and cold and black.

“There are no masks allowed in the Ghost Fortress, Heavenly Official,” he says. His voice is polite, but it too contains knives.

Hua Cheng can appreciate that. A blade is a blade is a blade. Sheathed or pressed to one’s neck, it is still just as sharp. There is no use pretending it is anything otherwise.

The man in front of him is a blade held up to Hua Cheng’s heart, though perhaps he does not know it yet.

[danidanialsblog]

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[sakuraswordly]

At first, I wanted to write Syaoran's story first. But the central story of every season is about changing fate and saving Sonic, Punch, and Gilgamesh. Seasons 1-6 focus on Syaoran travelling(Also with Peter) showing many characters and many events, and concluding in season 9 why Sonic, Punch and Gilgamesh are important to the fate of the world and the universe and why they need to be saved. Until season 10 (Chapter 1 Vanish World) Punch takes the role instead of Syaoran and proceeded to the ending of season 11(Chapter3 The beginning of the miracle).

Gilgamesh guided Syaoran to walk this path. (Blame him later in the future) And Peter is like a fairy guiding Syaoran and protecting Syaoran.(With Tinker Bell) Gilgamesh and Peter have influenced the role from the beginning. (Warning contains Tsubasa Reservoir chronicle Spoilers)

Syaoran's first purpose just wanted to save Sakura and Clone Syaoran. Syaoran always thought this journey with his friends is his burden for what he did. He will find a way to find a cure for Sakura and Chester (Seasons 1-6). Syaoran still doesn't know what is await us but Syaoran has already given his life for this journey.

To for his love for Sakura and Chester.

Sonic: I told you before not to burden yourself

Syaoran: The golden man knew about this, that's why he sent me to rescue you, take care of you and he knew that you need to be protected.

But after season 7, Syaoran finally found his purpose in this journey and why Gilgamesh told him about Vaten Hörmulegt and told Syaoran to protect them. Sonic is a true answer for all of this. Because of the connection with Gilgamesh in the past. Syaoran became to care for Sonic a lot. Until Season 9, Syaoran finally knows how much important Sonic is. He's his everything. Sonic is hope. Sonic's existence did affect everything around him and why Syaoran never forget how important this journey is. Syaoran didn't want to lose someone that he love ever again.

Syaoran: I am who I am today because of you! I'm not going to give up on you! I'm not going to abandon someone I love! I'm going to save you I promise!

Sonic: ........!!

Peter is very much like Syaoran. He doesn't want to lose the person he loves and cares about the most. During the journey with Syaoran, Peter just wanted to know where Punch is. Peter too. He also thought this journey was just a sin and that he needed to be clear. The burden that he cannot escape even though he didn't know what he did in his previous life.

Source this picture: A Timeless Lullaby - Legend Of Zelda Animation. MajorLink.

The feeling that Peter wants to save Punch is not different from what Syaoran want to save Sonic. This love is different from family and lovers. Not only does Syaoran just want to save Sonic, but his companion also loves Sonic as much as Syaoran do and wants to save him too. That's why Syaoran saw in his own eyes how much Sonic important is, even in this world rejecting his existence. Peter saw Syaoran as a reflection of his own. Even so, Peter want to save himself too, that's means he wanted to help Syaoran as well.

Syaoran regret everything for the decision he made and lost again. Even Syaoran meet again, he loses again. That's why in this Tsofph’ story. Syaoran nearly died and nearly couldn't save Sakura. Syaoran nearly lost Chester and Chester nearly lost himself(Even his heart). Syaoran nearly lost Sonic, his impotent adopt big brother. And had to make a painful decision to kill him for what was right(Sonic's existence did affect a lot.) Syaoran nearly lost Peter and nearly lost the friendship that he made with Peter. Syaoran almost lost Punch and Punch nearly lost herself and was unable to return to her normal life.

Syaoran becomes the leader of the group and shoulders the fate of 4 lives that will destroy time and space if they are not in control. That's why Sakura or Real Sakura said to Syaoran that it was too much dangerous. Sakura knew that fate cannot be stopped. Sakura chose to go with Syaoran and always be by Syaoran side even though she was cursed.

Source this picture: The Legend of Zelda Hero's Purpose: Episode Three. MajorLink.

This scene that MajorLink made. This was the true feeling of Syaoran and Peter when they shoulder the burden that no one will understand. No one will save them. You could say this is the sad story of Syaoran and Peter.

This video AMV I made 7 years ago. This one just cut part of the video.(Yep…I still can't believe that I put my heart into this story too much when I was back then.)

This BLAZE is the first opening of Tsubasa Chronicle (anime).

Music by: Nieve Arrangements by: HAL Lyrics and performance by: Kinya Kotani

[shammah8]

🕊️🌺Wendy🌺🕊️:

Wilt Thou Be Made Whole?”

Bible Reading John 5:1-24 I believe the word of God is so powerful that it can transform any and every life. There is power in God’s word to make that which does not appear to appear. There is executive power in the word that proceeds from His lips. The psalmist tells us, “He sent His word and healed them” (Ps. 107:20) ; and do you think that word has diminished in its power? I tell you nay, but God’s word can bring things to pass today as of old.

The psalmist said, “Before I was afflicted I went astray; but now have I kept Thy word.” And again, “It is good for me that I have been afflicted; that I might learn Thy statutes” (Ps.

119:67, 71). And if our afflictions will bring us to the place where we see that we cannot live by bread alone, but must partake of every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God, they will have served a blessed purpose. But I want you to realize that there is a life of purity, a life made clean through the word He has spoken, in which, through faith, you can glorify God with a body that is free from sickness, as well as with a spirit set free from the bondage of Satan.

Here they lay, a great multitude of impotent folk, of blind, halt, withered, around the pool, waiting for the moving of the water.

Did Jesus heal everybody? He left many around that pool unhealed. There were doubtless many who had their eyes on the pool and who had no eyes for Jesus. There are many today who have their confidence all the time in things seen. If theywould only get their eyes on God instead of on natural things, how quickly they would be helped.

The question arises, Is salvation and healing for all? It is for all who will press right in and get their portion. Y ou remember the case of that Syrophenician woman who wanted the devil cast out of her daughter. Jesus said to her, “Let the children first be filled: for it is not meet to take the children’s bread, and to cast it unto the dogs.” Note, healing and deliverance are here spoken of by the Master as “the children’s bread”; So, if you are a child of God, you can surely press in for your portion.

The Syrophenician woman (Mark 7:24-30) purposed to get from the Lord what she was after, and she said, “Y es, Lord: yet the dogs under the table eat of the children’s crumbs.” Jesus was stirred as He saw the faith of this woman, and He told her, “For this saying go thy way; the devil is gone out of thy daughter.”

Today there are many children of God refusing their blood-purchased portion of health in Christ and are throwing it away, while sinners are pressing through and picking it up frown under the table, as it were, and are finding the cure not only for their bodies, but for their spirits and souls as well. The Syrophenician woman went home and found that the devil had indeed gone out of her daughter. Today there is bread, there is life, there is health for every child of God through His all-powerful Word.

The Word can drive every disease away from your body. It is your portion in Christ, Him who is our bread, our life, our health, our all in all. Arid though you may be deep in sin, you can come to Him in repentance, and He will forgive and cleanse and heal you. His words are spirit and life to those who willreceive them. There is a promise in the last verse in Joel, “I will cleanse their blood that I have not cleansed.” This is as much as to say He will provide new life within. The life of Jesus Christ, God’s Son, can so purify men’s hearts and minds that they become entirely transformed, spirit, soul and body.

There they are round the pool; and this man had been there a long time. His infirmity was of thirtyeight years standing. Now and again an opportunity would come, as the angel stirred the waters, but his heart would be made sick as he saw another step in and be healed before him. But one day Jesus was passing that way, and seeing him lying there in that sad condition, enquired, “Wilt thou be made whole?” Jesus said it, and His word is from everlasting to everlasting. This is His word to you, poor, tried and tested one today.

Y ou may say, like this poor impotent man, “I have missed every opportunity up till now.” Never mind about that-Wilt thou be made whole?

I visited a woman who had been suffering for many years. She was all twisted up with rheumatism and had been two years in bed. I said to her, “What makes you lie here?” She said, “I’ve come to the conclusion that I have a thorn in the flesh.” I said, “To what wonderful degree of righteousness have you attained that you have to have a thorn in the flesh? Have you had such an abundance of divine revelations that there is danger of your being exalted above measure ?” She said, “I believe it is the Lord who is causing me to suffer.” I said, “Y ou believe it is the Lord’s will for you to suffer, and you are trying to get out of it as quickly as you can. There are doctor’s bottles all over the place. Get out of your hidingplace and confess that you are a sinner. If you’ll get rid of your serighteousness, God will do something for you. Drop the idea that you are so holy that God has got to afflict you. Sin is the cause of your sickness and not righteousness. Disease is not caused by righteousness, but by sin.”

There is healing through the blood of Christ and deliverance for every captive. God never intended His children to live in misery because of some affliction that comes directly from the devil. A perfect atonement was made at Calvary. I believe that Jesus bore my sins, and I am free from them all. I am justified from all things if I dare believe. He Himself took our infirmities and bare our sicknesses; and if I dare believe, I can be healed.

See this poor, helpless man at the pool. “Wilt thou be made whole?” But there is a difficulty in the way. The man has one eye on the pool and one on Jesus. There are many people getting cross-eyed this way these days; they have one eye on the doctor and one on Jesus. If you will only look to Christ and put both your eyes on Him you can be made every whit whole, spirit, soul and body. It is the word of the living God that they that believe should be justified, made free from all things. And whom the Son sets free is free indeed.

Y ou say, “Oh, if I only could believe!” He understands. Jesus knew he had been a long time in that case. He is full of compassion. He knows that kidney trouble, He knows those corns, He knows that neuralgia. There is nothing He does not know. He only wants a chance to show Himself merciful and gracious to you. But He wants to encourage you to believe Him. If thou canst only believe, thou canst be saved and healed. Dare to believe that Jesus was wounded for your transgressions, was bruised for your iniquities, was chastisedthat you might have peace, and that by His stripes there is healing for you right here and now. Y ou have failed because you have not believed Him. Cry out to Him even now, “Lord, I believe, help Thou mine unbelief.”👏Smith Wigglesworth

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Avana 200mg Tablet is use to treat erectile dysfunction (ED), often known as impotence, in males. Erectile dysfunction occurs when a man is unable to achieve and/or maintain a sufficient penile erection for sexual intercourse. Reduced blood flow can be caused by physical issues after an injury or sickness, as well as psychological conditions including anxiety, stress, and depression.

Between the ages of 40 and 70, the prevalence of moderate-to-severe ED could increase two-fold to three-fold. This medication relaxes the smooth muscles in the walls of blood vessels, allowing more blood to flow to the penis. When the underlying reason of erectile dysfunction is physical, psychological, or both, this method works well. Avana 200mg Tablet may or may not work if the underlying cause of erectile dysfunction is psychological, depending on the severity of the issue.

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