#how do you write adolescent dialogue

[punksarahreese]

Anything about Familiarity you want to share would be awesome!

“Kids,” Cornelius dropped a suitcase at the feet of the closest housekeeper without a glance in her direction, “My Fiancée Maria, and your new sister.”

The girl in the doorway looked no older than Claire, sun-kissed from her blonde hair to her fingertips as she looked at them both with hesitation. She looked up at her mother for reassurance before finally speaking, turning to her new family.

“I’m Ava. I know we’re ‘pposed to be family now, but I hope we can be friends…”

“You talk funny,” the teen boy who had been leaning against the staircase scoffed, “Dad, what is this?”

“Says the American domkop,” Ava didn’t hesitate to snap back, “You’re Connor then. Your dad was right ‘bout you.”

“What-!”

“Are you Claire?” Ava’s attention left him, much to his annoyance, as their parents left to speak to the movers who had arrived before them. Connor was left watching the two girls with disdain, glaring as this intruder spoke to his sister with her weird slang and funny voice.

The youngest nodded, eyes wide and full of tears. Ava was quick to grab her new sister’s hand, “Don’t cry, it’s okay! D’you wanna show me my new room?”

The two disappeared before the adults returned, making Connor realize just how alone he was in the giant house now.

[florenceafternoon]

━。゜✿ jily fic recommendations ✿ ゜。━

I've also seen a lot of people asking for 6/7th year jily so I tried to include some. These fics explore how much they've grown in that period between the end of school and the rising tensions of war.

Of course, I've also included fics with marauders shenanigans. As always, these fics are set in the wizarding world but aren’t necessarily canon complaints.

For reference, anything in italics is taken from the summaries.

Death and Other Inconveniences by @asteriaem

When James Potter disappeared for ten days in the middle of the spring term of their fifth year, the whole school noticed. He buried his parents in a quiet ceremony and returned to school amid outrageous rumours.

When Lily Evans disappeared for three days before the Christmas holidays in sixth year, two people noticed. She found the house packed, a nasty note from her sister, and spent the rest of the holidays sleeping rough. Both are left grieving and angry at Hogwarts over the summer, with no where else to go and war raging around them. Really, how else could it have gone?

God where do I even start? This fic is incredibly well written; everything from how well-rounded and dynamic all the characters are to the dialogue and descriptions. For everyone tired of character deformation and would like to read a long-form that explores the turbulence of adolescence coupled with grief and the uncertainties of war this fic is for you. When I say I miss old jily, I mean this exact era of characterisation.

Notes by @scriibble-fics

On an ordinary Tuesday in October of 1975, James Potter passes Lily Evans a note. She has no way of knowing it, of course, but it’s the first note of thousands that will pass between them in the years to come.

Head of House by SwissCheesePlant

The consequences of Sirius and James pretending to be boyfriends weren't supposed to come to a head during a convoluted and unnecessarily kinetic drinking game... but such is life.

As If By Magic by @annabtg

Lily Evans, Head Girl, is starting her seventh year at Hogwarts. Alongside her, Head Boy James Potter, who has always had a crush on her yet has given up all hope of winning her over. But between working together, sharing fun times with friends and getting through the darker moments that come with living in an era of war, things between them are bound to change...

Questions and Answers by lizardcookie (on ao3)

The simple question of whether or not they're dating doesn't exactly have a simple answer (seventh Year jily).

Come Together by @thequibblah

It’s difficult to say when James and Lily took the first steps to love. Perhaps they had always been walking this road, unaware of the person they were walking towards until the mist cleared. They would fall in love eventually — but we would be remiss in ignoring the hiccups along the way.

Okay so confession, I haven’t read this but it's been on my TBR for ages and everyone's been recommending me to read it. Judging by other works by the same author that I have read, I can attest that Lily and James have always been well-written so I trust that this fic is no exception.

These next few fics are all by @gigglesandfreckles-hp because Abi's characterisations are perfect and there’s just something about her writing that transports me to the scene. This woman can make me laugh and cry and worry all in under three thousand words.

roots of memory

Lily frowns slightly, mulling it over. “I’m not really sure either,” she admits. “Honestly, don’t take this personally, but I don’t remember much about you in the first couple of years. I think I was too focused on trying to figure out school and magic and everything else.”

James clutches his chest in mock offence. “I’ll act like that didn’t just irreparably damage my soul.”

crafting chemistry

“Is there something that needs to be discussed between the three of us?” Minerva prompts, her eyes narrowing sharply.

Lily’s face betrays her first. A bright flush creeps slowly along her cheeks, blooming from her neck upward, as though her skin can’t hide the emotion simmering underneath. She keeps her eyes stubbornly trained on the far corner of the office, anywhere but James. Minerva notices James’s hand, the one that had been habitually running through his hair, freeze mid-motion, his fingers tightening slightly.

but we dream in the light (a continuation of one of my favourite fics)

“Lily Evans, we have got to stop meeting like this,” he grins.

She shakes her head, laughing. “Jesus Christ.”

James spins around dramatically. “Where?”

the dance of mischief and duty

Lily Evans is an infuriating mosaic of traits—beautiful and she knows it, captain of the House Quidditch team, and the loudest voice in nearly any room. She has this way of floating through the school, her laughter ringing out as she moves between corridors and classes, one arm usually slung around Sirius Black’s shoulder and the other gesticulating wildly as she spins tales of misadventure.

But she also sort of has a point, and that’s possibly the most infuriating part about her.

prompt: flip the script

my church offers no absolutes

She stares at him, her eyes the only ones open as the priest prays, but she can’t look away.

James Potter is here.

under the influence of loss

“Like what? You fancy me! Kiss me.”

Each time she says it, it’s like a new bruise blooms around his heart, her words pressing on all of them at once.

“I can’t!” he shouts, the frustration cracking through.

“Because I’ve been drinking?” she demands, a bitter laugh escaping her. “Your chivalry is duly noted, Potter, but I’m giving you a pass here. Just—”

“It’s not about that,” he interrupts.

You know what they say, you can tell who an author's favourite character is by how much they make them suffer

From the Edge by @maraudersftw

A three-hour-long detention. A barrage of unspilled words. A kiss that has remained unacknowledged. Until now.

That Summer by the_casual_author (on ao3)

In which James and Lily spend the summer in a house by the sea. (and fall in love in the process)

pleasant, poised, polite, professional by @ohmygodshesinsane

Lily Evans' journalism career is stagnating, and when Mumblemumps sweeps through the office, she couldn't be less pleased to be asked to cover the sports beat. James Potter, the captain of the Wimborne Wasps who is campaigning to win Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile, only seems to confirm her worst fears about athletes. Until.

If you enjoyed James' characterisation in James Potter Won't Go Quietly then you'll enjoy this

Fantasise also by @ /ohmygodshesinsane

When Lily ends up taking Veritaserum as part of one of Sirius' games, James finds that he really doesn't need to know any of the nitty-gritty details. Fate has other plans.

And James Potter also by @ /ohmygodshesinsane

The most unfortunate part about being one of the best students in the year, if you ask Lily Evans, is being forced to work alongside James Potter. The most fortunate part about being one of the best students in the year, if you ask James Potter, is getting opportunities to annoy Lily Evans. The fact of the matter is, that despite their both being talented, intelligent students with bright futures and burning competitive streaks, Lily and James will never get along. No matter how much others think they ought to.

Braid also by @ /ohmygodshesinsane

Sick and tired of revision, Lily gladly takes a distraction in the name of giving James Potter a helping hand.

Revenge Tastes Sweeter by @charmsandtealeaves

This by far had to be one of the more stupid things that Lily Evans had ever agreed to, and she’d gone along with a lot of her friends' bullshit ideas. She’d wanted to maintain her dignity in breaking up with her shit of an ex-boyfriend. However, fake dating James Potter hadn’t been in her grand plan of dignity. She’d merely been venting her frustrations to her dorm mates in the common room, she hadn’t expected advice and well… plotting. Though she should have expected better, these lot were always plotting something. Was it too late to just go with Dorcas’ “Stab him!” suggestion?

Simmer Until Ready by @kay-elle-cee

James Potter is not a healer. His is a potioneer—the Order of the Phoenix's lead potioneer, in fact. So when their top field fighter—Lily Evans—comes to him for treatment after a particularly rough mission, he helps the best way he knows how: a vial of freshly-brewed Skele-Gro and a dose of laughter.

Kels always writes the best order!jily

climb higher by penniesinthepool (on ao3)

It's been three (long) years since Lily and James have seen each other. Now, he's living out his dream playing Quidditch with Puddlemere United and she hers as an Auror.

They're happy. But fate (and annoying friends) works in funny ways, sometimes, and through a series of chance meetings, they begin to wonder if maybe, just maybe, they could be happier. My take on what would maybe happen in a universe where James wasn't Head Boy, taken to the extreme.

after O.W.L.s by @juniperpyre

a short snippet of James Potter's and Lily Evans' thoughts after their Defense Against the Dark Arts O.W.L., and before the altercation with Severus Snape changes everything.

It was so close to going a better way

Haley's characterisations are always on point

”Just” Partners by @petalsthefish

James asks Lily what they are after a series of long and hidden snogs in dark corridors.

tied to you by @jjameslily

Lily’s foot sank into the damp earth as she stepped closer to the water’s edge. The lake mirrored the starry sky above, but something else caught her eye – a shape in the reflection.

James my sweet summer child, thank you for looking after her

Love for the Summer by @missgryffin

It's the summer after sixth year, Lily Evans is realizing she fancies James Potter, and James has Sirius Black's motorbike to thank for getting Lily out of the friend zone.

of hearts and keys by the_crownless_queen (on ao3)

In a world where magic means everyone can see your soul, Lily Evans wonders what it would feel like for someone she loves to open her heart.

Seven Years and Seventy More by surlybobbies (on ao3)

When James walked into the 7th year Gryffindor boys’ dormitory a few moonstruck minutes later, he found Sirius lying in bed with his hands folded across his stomach. “Been with Evans, then?” he asked, without lifting his head. There was a distinct note of disapproval in his voice.

James froze in the act of unwinding the scarf from his neck. “Er, yeah.”

“She doing well?” Remus asked from his bed, the closest one to the door. He had a book open on his lap but had lifted his gaze when James came in. His stare was steady and pleasant, but there was a sharpness behind it that put James on the defensive.

(James has some news.)

This Town Is Fake But You're The Real Thing by @tedwardremus

Teen radio star Lily Evans works for a show on the wizarding wireless network called, The Marauders. The teen soap drama stars James Potter as an arrogant school jock and centers on the secret adventures of his friends in the forbidden forest as illegal animagus and a werewolf. The show's antagonist, played by Severus Snape, left after a scandal, and now Lily has a romantic storyline with James in the final season of the show. Basically, her life is a disaster.

Prophecy by Alohaemora (on ao3)

Faint rays of sunlight began to filter into the nursery from the pink-red sky outside, the morning song of robins and thrushes lilting as all of Sirius's worst fears manifested before him, devastating in their might.

"Fuck," he whispered. A horrible, painful lump swelled in his throat, clawing, stinging. "Fucking hell."

The corners of Lily's lips trembled. "James didn't know how to tell you."

Not quite a jily fic but I wanted to share

not as smart as you think you are (or how to fall in love in 7 months) by Squidge_06 (on ao3)

Lily Evans has spent the past 6 years excelling at school and hating James Potter. Both these facts converge suddenly at the beginning of her 7th year when she’s confronted with a less than perfect grade and a Transfiguration tutor who is the very last person she wants to see.

That same person might just turn out to be a whole lot more complicated and just a little more wonderful than she could ever have imagined.

Meeting the Potters by FloreatCastellum (on ao3)

It's always a risk, introducing your parents to your girlfriend. Most people don't have to worry about whether or not their mother is going to be in handcuffs, though.

Mistle-Wow by LiveLaughLoveToRead (on ao3)

Lily and James Potters’ love was fiery, filled with passion, tragedy, and love. It was not a fast ignition of a flame that proceeded to burn bright. No, it was a flame that was lit on the Hogwarts Express before anyone had joined the compartment. It burned brighter as their years progressed, and it was lit ablaze in their seventh year. It burned until the day they died.

Or an incident that would have had Madam Pince seething (if they were caught)

Simple Math by yallofthemwitches (on ao3)

Remus notices something is off about James and Lily at the Prefect's meeting.

[swan-of-sunrise]

Let It Out, and Let It In

Summary: Spiraling under the immeasurable weight of his trauma, Steve desperately seeks out the company of his girlfriend and, after experiencing a panic attack in her presence, unexpectedly finds himself opening up to her about his mental health.

Pairing: Steve Rogers X Fem!Reader

Word Count: 5.1k

Warnings/Disclaimers: Disclaimer for a detailed depiction of a panic attack and a frank discussion about Steve Rogers’ trauma

A/N: Hi guys! I've been an MCU/Steve Rogers fan for damn near a decade now, and it hasn't escaped my notice that Steve's trauma has a tendency of being overlooked and overshadowed. So today, we'll be getting a glimpse of his ongoing mental health struggles (I promise you it's not all angst!) Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoy!

Let It Out, and Let It In September 2015 The Home of (Y/N) (Y/L/N) and Sam Wilson, Washington D.C. (Superhero Snapshots Masterlist)

“Should’ve called ahead, Rogers,” Steve chastised himself under his breath as he knocked three times on (Y/N)’s front door. He shoved the hood of his sweatshirt off his head and roughly combed his fingers through his hair, the poor attempt to straighten up his appearance for his girlfriend doing very little to distract from his spiraling mental state.

Like many, Steve didn’t exactly have fond memories of high school. While everyone around him seemed to struggle a little as they transitioned from awkward adolescence to mature adulthood, he always felt as though he was one massive step behind them without any hope of catching up. One aspect of high school he did appreciate, though – apart from his friendship with Bucky and his beloved art – were his English courses; he devoured each of the novels, plays and poems that they were assigned to read and thoroughly enjoyed writing themes that analyzed their deeper meanings. One of his favorite books had been The Great Gatsby and even eighty years later, he could still recall the telling exchange that Jay Gatsby shared with Nick Carraway towards the beginning of their friendship: ‘You see, I usually find myself among strangers because I drift here and there trying to forget the sad thing that happened to me.’

The brief line of Gatsby’s dialogue managed to stick with Steve long after he’d finished reading the book, initially because he couldn’t imagine how one’s life could become so lonely but eventually, because he’d come to understand Gatsby’s words all too well; he suffered the loss of his mother and Bucky, went into the ice in 1945 and woke up to find that nearly seventy years had passed him by, grappled with the losses of all his fellow Howling Commandos and helplessly watched as the last personified tie to his past slowly succumbed to dementia. Like Gatsby, Steve preferred the company of strangers; they made it easier for him to ignore the crippling loneliness because they never bothered to try and get to know the traumatized twenty-seven-year-old man behind the red, white and blue shield.

Things began to change for him not long after the Battle of New York. He befriended Natasha, one of his fellow Avengers, and she tried her best to acclimate him to his new life; maybe it was a result of all she’d suffered at the hands of the Red Room or because she was just incredibly adept at reading people, but Nat knew that he was struggling and in her own unique way, she did everything she could to be there for him. He met Sam and (Y/N), leaving his apartment for his usual morning run around the National Mall wearing a serious scowl but departing for his S.H.I.E.L.D. mission afterwards with a truly happy smile on his face; Sam soon became one of his best friends, the VA trauma counselor understanding his difficulties with adjusting to his new life but never treating him differently because of them, and he found himself falling in love with (Y/N), the historical-fiction novelist bursting into his life like sunshine on a cloudy day and making him feel truly seen for who he was instead of the larger-than-life mantle he carried. And with the help of (Y/N), Sam and Nat, he grew closer to his fellow Avengers, even finding himself beginning to view them as his family and accepting the fact that he wasn’t alone anymore.

But while Steve had slowly grown to love and appreciate his new life, there were still some days when the reality of his situation would weigh heavily on his mind and it was only a matter of time before he’d break down into a full-blown panic attack; he did his best to hide his struggles from his girlfriend and friends, not wanting to hurt their feelings or make them feel that they weren’t enough for him, but it was becoming harder and harder for him to pretend that everything was all right. It was one of those awful days that saw Steve impulsively asking Nat to land the Quinjet at Joint Base Andrews on their way home from a mission in Argentina; the assassin did as he asked without question, but he could feel her concerned gaze following him as he walked down the ramp and marched across the airstrip alone. Ignoring the mounting pressure in his chest, he elected to do what he’d often do before the fall of S.H.I.E.L.D. and take a walk through the streets of D.C., following in Jay Gatsby’s footsteps and surrounding himself with strangers to avoid addressing the memories of his old life that were clawing their way to the forefront of his mind.

With the hood of his sweatshirt pulled low over his face and his hands shoved into its pockets, Steve trudged down North Capitol Street with his eyes downcast, prolonging his return to his dark and impersonal apartment and the panic attack that would inevitably follow. Dusk had already fallen and downtown, the city’s nightlife was beginning to ramp up; restaurants were packed with families visiting the historic city and cheerful groups of friends pulled one another into the bars and nightclubs, while couples walked arm-in-arm and took in the glimmering lights that illuminated the city’s imposing monuments. It wasn’t until Steve walked past a bookstore and caught sight of (Y/N)’s debut novel, For Queen and Country, proudly displayed in the window that he felt his mind beginning to clear and a small smile tug on his lips. In that instant, Steve was engulfed by an overwhelming need to see his girlfriend and he continued walking down the street at an increased pace, spurred on by the sunshine that might succeed in breaking through the bleak isolation he found himself consumed by.

Steve forced himself out of his musings just as the door swung open to reveal (Y/N); he was pleased to see that she was dressed for a comfortable night in, with a well-loved Lauryn Hill concert t-shirt and a pair of grey sweatpants, but it was evident by the white strip adhered to her nose and the hair towel balanced on her head that he’d interrupted her evening. “Steve!” (Y/N), unaware of the guilt he was experiencing for interrupting her relaxing evening, smiled broadly and opened her door wider. “I’ve really got to stop listening to Sam; that lying Birdbrain told me you guys wouldn’t be back from Argentina until tomorrow.”

“The mission wrapped up a lot quicker than we’d initially anticipated, so Sam’s off the hook fir lying this time,” Steve replied with a small smile as he shoved his fidgeting hands into his pockets. “I, um, I’m really sorry that I didn’t call or text you before coming over, but I was on my way home and I…anyway, I can leave if I’m intruding-”

“Don’t be silly, you’re not intruding!” Standing the side, (Y/N) allowed him to step through the doorway and closed the door before turning to give him a sheepish smile. “After spending all day going over my book’s first draft with Greg, I treated myself to a bubble bath and I may or may not have fallen asleep in the tub; I woke up in lukewarm water and my fingers were all pruney, but it was a damn good nap.”

“You’ve been working hard on your novel, sunshine; if anyone deserves a little rest and relaxation, it’s you.” Steve slipped off his sneakers and neatly placed them near the entryway table, straightening and chuckling when his girlfriend launched herself into his arms and nuzzled her face against his chest. “Did you miss me?”

(Y/N) nodded and tightened her arms around his waist. “I always miss you whenever you’re away on a mission, sweetheart.”

Steve’s heart melted and before he knew it, one of his arms was holding her close while his hand was guiding her face upwards so that his lips could meet hers; their kiss was slow yet passionate, with each of them doing all they could to savor their rare moment of peace, but his initial reason for visiting the historical-fiction novelist made its presence known in his mind and saw him give her one last kiss before pulling away with a forced smile. “Me too, baby. I just…I really needed to see you.”

(Y/N)’s head tilted to the side as her (Y/E/C) eyes studied him but to his surprise and overwhelming gratitude, she didn’t ask him what was wrong or if he was all right. Instead, she took both of his hands in hers and playfully swung their arms while giving him a coy smile. “I was about to try my luck at cooking dinner and since my culinary skills aren’t exactly up to par, I could really use the assistance of a big, strong Avenger. Do you know if any of them are brave enough to accept this dangerous mission?”

“I think I’m up for the challenge, ma’am,” Steve impishly replied and his overstated authoritative tone made (Y/N) giggle as she led him into the kitchen to prepare dinner. “Can I, um, ask what’s on your nose?”

“Oh, it’s for unclogging oil and dead skin cells from pores! It’s a little gross to remove but at the same time, kind of satisfying. Did you want to try one out for yourself?”

“…Sure, why not?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

While helping his girlfriend cook dinner wasn’t quite as dangerous of a task as she’d made it out to be, Steve certainly had his hands full with making sure she didn’t over-season or burn anything in her eagerness to prove her minimal culinary skills; most importantly, however, cooking alongside (Y/N) helped to take his mind off the incapacitating loneliness that drove him to her doorstep in the first place. They sat at the dining room table to enjoy their chicken parmigiana with angel hair pasta and broccoli and (Y/N) even brought out a pricier bottle of red wine to enjoy with their food, a gift she claimed was sent by Tony and Pepper to congratulate her for winning the Goodreads Choice Award for Best Historical Fiction. Steve listened to (Y/N) talk about the last-minute touches being placed on what would soon be her second published novel with rapt attention, voicing his amazement when she revealed which of her favorite authors would be joining her at an upcoming writing convention and chuckling as she told him about the playful argument she’d gotten into with her publisher about certain spelling choices in her draft.

After they finished their meal, they cleaned up the sizable mess they’d made in the kitchen, with Steve washing the dirty dishes and (Y/N) drying and putting them away; they fell into a comfortable silence while they worked, and he found himself focusing on her soft humming as he deliberated over whether or not to open up to her about the complex emotions he was fighting to control. He loved his girlfriend with all his heart, but it was because of his love for her that he hesitated to fully open up and it didn’t take a genius to figure out why: he was not only afraid that he’d hurt her feelings if he told her that he still struggled to acclimate to the twenty-first century, but he was also afraid that the truth would only serve to drive her away. The memory-wiping device from that Will Smith alien movie Tony made me watch could solve all of my problems in the blink of an eye, he sullenly thought with a sideways glance at a blissfully unaware (Y/N) putting away their dishes, you can’t miss something that you don’t have any memories of.

With the kitchen scrubbed clean and the comforting sound of a light rainfall outside echoing throughout the cozy home, Steve and (Y/N) took to the couch to watch some television. The historical-fiction novelist dissolved into a fit of giggles after applying a cleansing strip to Steve’s nose and he happily indulged her by posing for the selfie she all but begged for his permission to take. After she took several pictures and disposed of their cleansing strips, he pulled her into his arms and soundly kissed her, finding that the dark cloud that hung over him was slowly but surely dispersing the longer she kissed him back.

“Do you feel like watching a movie?” (Y/N) breathlessly asked after they’d finally separated for air. A knowing smile was beginning to spread across her face as she realized they’d moved positions during their impromptu make-out session; the historical-fiction novelist was lying flat on her back while he held himself above her and as he deviously grinned down at her, she twirled her fingers around his sweatshirt’s drawstrings and shrugged offhandedly. “Not that I have any problem with continuing our current activities, of course-”

“Neither do I.”

His girlfriend’s smirk widened at his hasty reply. “But TCM’s been airing a really good screwball comedy marathon all day, and I was thinking that we could give it a watch. I guarantee that my world-famous Milk Duds-and-popcorn concoction pairs excellently with a glass of top shelf red wine and 1935’s Top Hat, so how ‘bout it?”

Steve’s smile instantly dropped at her otherwise innocuous statement. His lungs began to restrict, his vision blurred and it was as though someone had suddenly flipped a switch inside of his hippocampus; all at once, jarring flashes of cloudy memories flooded his mind and overtook his vision.

Bucky dragging Steve along on another double date and insisting that this one would be different than the other failed dates he’d arranged…his throat constricting as his date scowled at the sight of him…sitting in a darkened theater beside the highly displeased woman and throwing his best friend an envious look as he smoothly draped an arm over his smitten date’s shoulders…trying his damndest to enjoy the hit Astaire & Rogers musical-comedy so that his night wouldn’t be so miserable…

“Sweetheart? Are you okay?”

Fists tightening in anger when he saw a furious-looking man dragging his date up the aisle while she begged him to calm down…staggering to his feet in the alleyway behind the theater and throwing another punch at the laughing man, only for him to easily dodge and shove him against the nearby dumpster…fighting to catch his breath as he crumpled to the grimy ground and panicking when he recognized the tell-tale signs of an oncoming asthma attack…frantically grabbing at his pockets in search of his asthma cigarettes, fully conscious of Bucky’s shouting and his date’s frightened scream but unable to stop the black dots from invading his vision…

“You’re having a panic attack, Steve, so I need you to take a deep breath. Can you do that for me? C’mon, sweetheart, just breathe.”

Bucky’s hand colliding with his bruised cheek and stunning him back to consciousness long enough for his best friend to practically shove a lit asthma cigarette between his lips…inhaling the smoke and clutching his ribs as his body was wracked with a violent coughing fit…calling out for his mother the moment he regained his breath, only to break down into heaving sobs when he remembered that she’d been gone for nearly six months…

“Steve, look at me.” The sudden feel of his fingers pressed against a soft warmth finally forced Steve’s eyes open; although he was crouched in the corner of his girlfriend’s living room instead of a dingy alleyway behind Bay Ridge’s Alpine Cinema, his chest was still heaving under the strain of regaining his breath and his entire body was trembling. He focused on the blurry figure and realized in a flash of fear that it was (Y/N) kneeling on the floor before him, looking calm and composed as she held his hand against the side of her neck and gently spoke to him. “Take a deep breath in through your nose and out through your mouth, like this.” The historical-fiction novelist completed the breathing exercise and nodded in approval when he shakily copied her. “That’s it, you’re doing so well, sweetheart. What are three things you can see?”

“You,” Steve automatically replied, making his girlfriend smile as his eyes darted around in search of two more items. “Sam’s bowl of wine corks…the lamp that you found at that estate sale a couple of weeks ago.”

“Good, good, but don’t forget to keep on breathing. What’re three things you can hear?”

He took another deep breath and released it before answering. “The rain falling on the rooftop above us…the refrigerator’s ice-maker refilling itself…the ticking of the clock in the entryway.”

(Y/N)’s eyes searched his and he spotted the flicker of trepidation that briefly flashed across them while she studied his features. “You’re doing such a good job, sweetheart. Now, can you touch three things for me and tell me what you feel?”

“Y-Yeah…” Steve swallowed thickly, his stiff fingers slowly flexing against the skin of his girlfriend’s neck as he focused on all he could feel. “Your pulse. It’s strong and steady. I can feel the warmth of the blood flowing through your veins.” Emboldened by her encouraging nod, he brought his other hand up to rest flat against his chest and stretched out his fingers along the material of his sweatshirt. “My sweatshirt’s soft, and my fingers catch on its embroidered logo…” He lowered his hand to touch the living room’s hardwood floor and winced at the unpleasant sensation. “The floor’s cold. All I can think about is the moment I crashed the Valkyrie into the ice.”

The historical-fiction novelist raised her arms but suddenly halted her movements. “Are you up for a hug right now?” Instead of answering, Steve wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her into a tight embrace; he buried his face in her neck and squeezed his eyes shut as her arms draped around his shoulders, savoring the weight of her warm body pressed against his and practically preening when her fingers rhythmically carded through his hair. “You can talk to me, Steve. Whatever it is you have to get off your chest, I’ll listen.” He could feel her press a kiss onto his hair. “And if you want to just sit here and enjoy the silence, then I’ll be more than happy to oblige you. I…I don’t want you to be afraid of letting me in; you deserve to feel safe enough to express yourself, sweetheart, no matter what.”

Steve didn’t know how long they sat there in silence before he rested his chin on her shoulder and stared unseeingly at her cozy living room as he finally found his voice. “The first thing that people told me after coming out of the ice was how lucky I was. They told me that surviving the crash and the ice was a blessing in disguise and that I’d have a shot at living a better life – and they were all so damn pleased with themselves as they were saying it, too, like they could claim that they did their one good deed for the day by convincing Captain America that he was better off in the 21st century – and none of ‘em could understand why I wasn’t as happy as the rest of the world was. Fury arranged for me to see a therapist, but I stopped going after the first appointment because I could see that it’d be more of the same ‘be grateful for what you’ve been given’ shit; there was no one I felt that I could talk to, and then after Loki and the Battle of New York happened…well, most everyone stopped trying to get to know me after that. The lack of any genuine companionship meant it was easier for me to hide and even numb my feelings, but when I found myself bonding with you and Nat and Sam, I…I started to become afraid of driving you all away.”

Steve pulled back far enough to meet (Y/N)’s eyes, only realizing he’d started to cry when her hands delicately cradled his face and her thumbs brushed his drying tear tracks away. “Were you afraid of how we’d react if you admitted that you still think about your old life?” There was no hint of judgement in her expression or hostility in her eyes, only patience and consideration, and Steve found himself silently appreciating his girlfriend’s kindhearted nature as he nodded. “Sweetheart, I want you to listen to me very carefully: depriving yourself of emotions is to deprive yourself of humanity. You’re human, Steve, and you’re allowed to feel however you feel. The people who love you love you for who you are and while I can’t speak for Sam or Nat, I want you to know that I’ll never, ever ask you to repress your emotions for my sake.”

“(Y/N)…” Steve softly started as one of his hands moved to caress her cheek. “No matter what, I’m always gonna have these memories of my life without you in my head. I have no way of knowing when or even if I’ll be settled into my new life. Doesn’t that…doesn’t that bother you?”

His girlfriend smiled patiently and shook her head before countering his question with one of her own. “If our roles were reversed and I was the one who’d come out of the ice instead, would you still love and accept me for who I am?”

“Of course I would, sunshine,” Steve replied with conviction.

“Then believe me when I say that I’ll always love and accept you, sweetheart, no matter what.” With tears beginning to well in her own eyes, (Y/N) leaned forward and pressed a kiss onto his forehead. “Please, please believe me.”

Steve’s heart nearly broke at the desperation that laced her plea and he hurriedly nodded. “I believe you, baby.” He gently coaxed her to look up and into his eyes; the unabashed love that he saw emanating from her tear-filled eyes melted something deep within him, encouraging him to rest his forehead against hers and brush the pad of his thumb along her flushed cheek. “I believe you.” They stayed there for an undetermined amount of time, with their arms wrapped around one another and their eyes closed while they relished the warmth of one another’s embrace and listened to the steady patter of rain outside. When Steve felt his heartbeat slow to its usual pace and his limbs stop their trembling, he trailed his hand down from his girlfriend’s cheek to rest against her chest, in the space directly over her heart; he wasn’t sure why, but the steady beating of her heart against his palm was soothing to him. “Thank you for helping me through all of that; if I’d gone through it alone, I’d still be spiraling right about now.”

“If you don’t mind my asking, about how often do you go through a panic attack?”

Opening his eyes, Steve considered her question for several moments as he took in the consideration that was written across her face. “A couple of times a month,” He replied with a wistful smile. “They started right after I came out of the ice, but they’ve been happening a little more frequently lately.”

(Y/N) offered him a sympathetic smile. “You know, I may not be a Certified Kick-Ass Counselor like Sam is but if I learned anything from working with him down at the VA, it’s that acknowledging your feelings can be a great first step towards healing.” He hummed thoughtfully and took in her words as her fingers smoothed down his rumpled hair. “When you start to feel another panic attack coming on, you can always give me a call and I’ll do whatever I can to help you through it, okay? You don’t have to go through this alone.”

“I’m not sure how it’ll live up to this…” Steve’s arms wound back around the historical-fiction novelist’s waist and pulled her in close with a content smile on his face. “But I promise you I will.” The familiar jingle of their local ten o’clock news sounded throughout the living room, causing him to give his girlfriend an apologetic look. “I’m sorry, we’re probably missing that screwball comedy marathon you wanted to watch, aren’t we?”

“It’s okay, I’ll just head down to Barnes & Noble one of these days and buy the Blu-Rays. Besides, I think that now’s the perfect time to introduce you to one of favorite comfort movies, but only if you’re up for it.”

Steve, touched by the consideration she was continuously showing for him and his mental health, swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat and pressed a chaste kiss onto her lips, pulling back after a moment with a playful grin. “I’m up for anything, so long as it’s with my best girl…and her world-famous Milk Duds-and-popcorn concoction, of course.”

“Oh, of course,” (Y/N) readily agreed as she fought the smirk of amusement that was threatening to spread across her face; after extricating herself from his embrace, she hopped to her feet and offered him her hand, lacing her fingers around his once he stood and leading him into the kitchen as she continued. “We’ll make my not-so-secret recipe, pop open another bottle of pricey wine, and then we’ll be all set to watch 1978’s Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band!”

“That’s the Beatles, right? So, does that mean the movie’s about the album?”

“…You’ll see.”

Needless to say, Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band was one of the strangest movies Steve had ever seen, but it was also one of the most entertaining movie-watching experiences he’d ever had; he chuckled at all of the corny yet earnest moments, watched in admiration as his girlfriend sang along to each and every one of the Beatles songs that played and even caught himself tearing up at the few emotional moments, all while indulging in some delicious popcorn and wine. Steve’s arms were holding (Y/N) close while they lounged across the couch and it was then, as the historical-fiction novelist in his arms sang her heart out to the film’s absurd yet catchy version of ‘Get Back,’ that he realized he felt more grounded in reality than he’d felt in a long, long time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three days later, Steve was returning to his room in the Avengers Facility after a long intelligence briefing with the rest of the team when he spotted a box sitting in front of his suite’s locked door. I don’t remember ordering anything online, he thought to himself as he cautiously picked up the box and brought it inside; their mail was regularly scanned and checked for explosives and biological weapons upon arrival and while Steve was fond of bidding on used vinyl records on Ebay, he hadn’t logged into his account since well before his mission in Argentina.

“Please don’t be another ‘Over The Hill’ shirt from Tony,” He sighed under his breath, setting the package down onto his bed and retrieving his pocket knife from his dresser drawer.

Steve carefully sliced through the packing tape and pushed open the cardboard flaps, his head tilting to the side when his eyes landed on a misshapen bundle of bubble wrap inside. His interest piqued, he unfurled the piece of bubble wrap and his brows rose in surprise when a large stuffed black and white cow tumbled out onto his comforter; a small card was attached to the sky-blue bow around the stuffed animal’s neck, and he wasted no time in detaching it and reading its brief contents.

Sweetheart,

Meet Buttercup the Cow! I did a little research and found out that weighted stuffed animals can help reduce feelings of anxiety and even ground someone who’s experiencing a panic attack; whenever you begin to feel yourself spiraling or getting lost in your memories, hold Buttercup and imagine that I’m right there with you, giving you the biggest hug imaginable.

With all my love,

Your Sunshine

Steve’s eyes prickled with unshed tears as he placed the heartfelt note down on his dresser, right beside the framed sketch he’d drawn of his beautiful girlfriend long before they began to date. He picked up the stuffed cow and tested its weight in his hands before hugging it tight to his chest; he could already feel his shoulders relaxing and when he nuzzled his cheek against the soft fabric, he realized that the clever historical-fiction novelist had sprayed some of her perfume – Design by Paul Sebastian – onto the stuffed cow. Breathing in the familiar notes of tuberose and jasmine, Steve briefly closed his eyes as he smiled to himself and thought about how much he loved his girlfriend and her kind heart.

A brilliant idea suddenly came to Steve’s mind and after setting Buttercup down on his pillow, he pulled a jacket on, tucked his wallet into his back pocket and scooped up his motorcycle’s keys, hurrying out of his suite and down the hall to the common room; Sam was in the middle of making a sandwich while Wanda and Vision sat together on the sofa debating their favorite sitcoms, the counselor looking up from his half-made meal and flashing him a welcoming smile. “Hey, man, we’re gonna do a little team bonding and watch Modern Family while we eat lunch; you want a sandwich or a wrap?”

“Thanks for the offer, Sam, but I’ve gotta go run an errand,” Steve replied with an apologetic look and twirled his keys around his finger. “Do you happen to know where the nearest Barnes & Noble is?”

“Um, I think there’s one up in Kingston…?”

“1200 Ulster Avenue.” They both looked over at their android teammate as he nonchalantly continued. “According to all available data, the store sees low to moderate business around this time, and the traffic appears to be light.”

An impressed Steve gave him an appreciative nod. “Thanks, Vis.”

Their exchange caught Wanda’s attention, causing her to look up from her box set of DVD’s and arch a curious brow. “You usually detest going out on errands. Is everything all right?”

“Yep, I’ve just got some Blu-Rays I need to buy.” He flashed his befuddled teammates a grin as he brusquely headed out of the common room. “I’ll see you guys later!”

As he jogged down the steps and crossed their private parking lot towards his motorcycle, the cell phone in his pocket chimed; he swung his leg over and sat as he pulled his phone out to check his text messages, chuckling to himself after reading his friend’s brief message.

Sam: If you show up at Booksmart’s doorstep with a box set of old Cary Grant flicks, she just might ask you to marry her on the spot 😂

Glancing up towards the floor-to-ceiling window in the common room and spotting an amused Sam watching him, Steve grinned and gave the counselor a teasing salute before revving up the engine and taking off. I can’t think of a better outcome than that, he thought to himself as he sped down the road, a truly happy smile spreading across her face at the mental image of someday marrying the love of his life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: And there we have it! I promise, the next one-shot will be a little happier and although I haven't decided which movie/show I wanna tackle next, I'm sure that little series will be happier too! Thank you all so much for reading and commenting! I’ve created a Spotify playlist inspired by this series, and I’ll be updating it every time I upload a new chapter. Enjoy!

Spotify Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3ziGMhEsAw833GQ9eV44nR?si=6dfead09c76848d5 

Stumblin’ In Book VII: “Superhero Snapshots” Masterlist 

Stumblin’ In Book II: “Age of Ultron” Masterlist

Tagging:  @mrs-obrien​​​​​ @lahoete​​​​​ @awkward117 @cminr @natdrunk​​​​ @momc95​​​​​ @savedbystyle​​​​​ @miraculouscloud @awkwardnesshabitat​​​​​ @marinettepotterandplagg​​​​​ @mangosandmimosas @supersouthy @benakenalove​​​​​ @brooke0297​​​​​ @hufflepeople​​​​​ @becausewelie​​​​​ @outoftheregular​​​​​​ @junipermurdock​​​​​ @ladydmalfoy @mads-weasley​​​​​ @username23345@crist1216​​​​​ @capswife​​​​​ @lilmschild​​​​​ @avngrsinitiative @crowleysqueenofhell​​​​​ @y-napotat​​​ @mary1raven​​​​​ ​​​​​@groovy-lady @ljej95 @innersublimefury @prettysbliss

[hughiecampbelle]

In Another Life I Did Everything Right (Roman Roy x Baby!Roy)

Character/s: Roman, Connor, Kendall, Shiv, Logan

Word Count: 1,761

Inspired By: the popsicle I was eating lol

Requested: Can you write something with Roman and baby!roy? Whatever you want to do is fine. I really love your baby!roy writing and I adore Roman - anon

A/N: I took a lot of creative liberty lol, I hope you don't mind! Feedback is always appreciated my loves! 💜💜💜

It’s always the same memory, the same dream, that comes to him when the weather is warm, and humid, and he falls into a fitful sleep. It’s a realization that comes to him each time he sees your face: how young you are. Not the chubby cheeks of childhood, yet you remain untouched by adolescence. Though he knows he was a much younger man at the time, he is all grown up now. He feels his age, how old he must seem to you, how worn. Tired. He stands in the grass, the sun bright and willing to burn. He holds two plastic pouches. He knows what they are. He knows what you’re going to say, how worried you are that they’re beginning to melt: popsicles. They wouldn’t have been allowed in the house at all. They wouldn’t have made their way into the shopping cart, nor found a home in the freezer, had it not been for Connor. All his doing. He used to know the story, but tonight he can’t recall. Did you ask him for them? Were they a surprise? How could they have been hidden so well from the disapproving eyes of your father? It doesn’t really matter, he knows, but so much of this dream has become lost to him. It’s been so many years. He can no longer rely on his memory. This day has been contorted over the years, malleable and pliable, until, as far as he knows, it no longer resembles what truly happened. You’re on the pavement, legs dangling off the edge of the pool. The water is clear and, unfortunately, not as cool as you’d like. You wait, hand outstretched, for your treat. He makes you pick. Left, right, left right, left. Finally, you choose left. He smiles. Not then, but now. How big that decision must’ve felt, how harrowing it was to decide, blindly, the flavor. Older and wiser puts things into perspective. Time is funny that way. He’s grateful you remain untouched by this. Let this be your big decision. He tears yours open: orange. There is no mourning, there is no disappointment, though there is a mutual understand red is the best. He holds his up to the light, the wrapper giving way to a dark inky color. He’s glad you picked what you did: no one really liked grape all that much. 

He wants to talk to you, to ask you questions, to understand where it all went wrong, but he is limited. The dialogue has been chosen for you. This is a reenactment, a loop, a labyrinth of muscle memory he must abide by. He settles beside you, legs crossed, listening to your teeth break through the ice and syrup. He wasn’t a spiritual person. He didn’t believe in God or Heaven or Hell. He didn’t have anyone or thing to turn to when things were hard, when times were tough. Sometimes he wished he was. A different person who could pray and believe and have faith. The cynic in him thought it was bullshit. The optimist, weak and tender, fought back as best as it could. There has to be something, right? There has to be something after all this? Life, mortal life, was so small in comparison to the time before and time after. How could there be nothing? He wants to ask you what you think, if there is God out there and, if so, how vengeful they must be. You were young, yes, but you grew up. There were so many opportunities for him to ask you, your views and opinions, and he didn’t. He wasn’t thinking as he was now. He didn’t have the perspective. Instead your voice slices through his thoughts, a knife to watermelon, it all becomes a sweet, sticky mess in the middle of his cheat. Where’s mom? You don’t have to clarify you mean your mother and not his. Logan’s latest ex-wife. They lasted longer than anyone expected, separating just a few weeks prior, when Spring turned to Summer. He speaks, and though he cannot hear himself, he knows his lines. He wishes now he’d been nicer. Kinder. Instead he is full of teenage angst and decides a snide comment is the best option to ease your growing unease given their recent split. Like all of your mothers, Connors and his and yours, they’ve left their children in the care of your father, though he understand this thought is cheap and really, only Connors mother couldn’t help it. Still, two out of three? 

Did you see her today? You watch him, and wait, and your eyes are big, and there is melted popsicle down the front of your shirt. Yes, he admits, for a moment, but refuses any further details. Mascara ran down her face. She wheeled two large suitcases out of their (now Logans) room and down the hall, towards the stairs. He’s not sure where she was going, or for how long, and he suspected you wondered the same thing. Were the popsicles, similar to the cake Logan had bought Connor, some sort of bargain? A peace offering? Sorry kid, mommy and daddy are splitting. Here’s some sugar! Was this Connor’s way of making things better? He noticed the absence of his older siblings lessening these recent months. He found Shiv helping you with your school work, patiently listening to you ramble on about grade school drama: Leah liked Tommy, but Tommy liked Madison, who wasn’t your friend anymore because she was no longer sitting at your table during lunch, so Tessa was your new best friend. Kendall, with whatever he did to busy himself all day, took his evenings to hang out with you, trying his best to have something in common with a ten year old. Connor, who had never been lacking in your life, became an even more involved presence. Wrapped up with his own affairs, and probably several affairs, Logan had little time for his youngest. So here he was, doing his part, hoping a little attention wouldn’t leave you screwed up like the rest of them. 

He wants to ask you what you think of all this. He should have, at the time, but he was uncomfortable. Uncomfortable that, finally, you were earning the Roy name. Your mother was just another wife, you were just another kid he didn’t like or want. You weren’t special, you weren’t going to change him. Uncomfortable because you were a child and children had big emotions. What if you cried? What if you got upset? He didn’t know how to stop it. He didn’t know how to help. You wouldn’t know it at the time (how could you?) but your mother would move on. She’d remarry a few years down the line, and have more children, and leave you behind. Her second husband wasn’t a fan of your father. By association, he wasn’t keen to you either. Roman never asked, even when you got older, how you were dealing with it all. Not just this, but everything. Adolescence. He figured, like the rest of them, you’d move on. Recover. Find your way. You couldn’t. You were in Logan’s custody sure, but it was her you wanted. Holidays, and birthdays, and events, you wanted her. Instead he decides the conversation is over. The in-between is murky. There are popsicles, there is this grimm realization, there is regret, and then what?

He isn’t sure what it is that keeps him reliving this day over the others. There were plenty of times he spent with you, though usually you were drinking, attempting to run away from the family, your bloodline, your future. He saw you so rarely, you were such a different person when he got the chance to really look at you, talk to you. Logan shipped you off to boarding school the school year after your mother leaves. It’s prestigious, and sterile, and ruins any of that person he’s sitting beside. Somewhere between here and then you changed. Not just growing up, though is any other big brother really prepared for their baby to get older? You grew harder, colder, bitter. You drank more. You disappeared often. Your grades suffered, though that kind of information was kept mostly between you and the school. Every so often, Connor would send out a group text saying he was going to visit you. Roman, at least, knew what that meant: you got into trouble and needed someone to clean up a mess you made. Everyone had grown up and adjusted as well as to be expected. They were waiting, impatiently, for you to catch up in maturity. You were a teenager expected to act like an adult, treated like a child. You begged Logan to come home. Your school was far away. It was lonely. It was brutal. But it was the best education anyone could ask for and he believed you were being a brat. 

You wanted to see your mother. It had been years, at that point, since you last saw her. Occasionally you’d receive a cold phone call, but that was all you were allotted. That’s the story, anyways. No one really knows why you went out that night, why it was so urgent, only that you were drinking and you weren’t wearing a seatbelt. They found the car wrapped around a pole. You took your place in the family mausoleum. As far as he knows, your mother doesn’t visit. But they do, all of them. This was years ago, a little over a decade. You’d be all grown up by now. He still sees you as a ten year old. He always will. Maybe he dreams this day, over every other, because it was before everything turned sour. Maybe he just likes the taste of popsicles. Either way, it’s always a treat. He wants to ask you everything he didn’t get the chance to, but he can’t, and soon he will wake up. He’ll wake up in a cold sweat and make a point to visit you sometime soon, taking this as a sign that you’re lonely and looking for company. For now, he looks at you, really looks, and takes you in. You’ve been talking this whole time about what you’ve been learning in school, what Shiv has been helping you with. He will nod. He was bored then, wondering who would take over babysitting duty, but he isn’t now. He soaks up every word. He misses your voice, your mannerisms. So much has changed since this day. So little has changed, too.

[therentyoupay]

TRYP thoughts on characterization

jack frost // elsa | characterization considerations

PART 3 | DEEP DIVE: CHARACTERIZATION, PERSONALITY, & IDENTITY

ground rules + intro

overview: the tl;dr of my personality + dialogue choices

deep dive: characterization, personality, + identity

shared ice powers (or AU-equivalent) + shared connections

questions/points to consider as you write

PART 3 | DEEP DIVE: CHARACTERIZATION, PERSONALITY, & IDENTITY

now. before we dig any further, a quick psych note on personality and identity and personal development. 

although i personally: 

(a) subscribe the the belief that some aspects of personality and belief systems do change throughout a person’s lifespan and, similarly, although i believe that 

(b) a person’s social identity is in many ways constructed through their social interactions with one another and how they position themselves (i.e., which aspects of their multi-faceted identities do they bring to the forefront during a given conversation in a given context?), i also believe that 

(c) elsa’s childhood/adolescent/young adulthood trauma have become key pillars of the foundation of her personality (i.e., the set of values and beliefs that determine her behaviors, reactions, etc.), such that even with deep, meaningful personal growth (a la frozen, and frozen 2) elsa’s initial instincts will, for a very long time, remain embedded in the beliefs and values that she formed while surviving the realities she faced as a child. ditto for jack and all of the tendencies, behaviors, etc. that he has created through experience and habit.

(total side note: was anyone else wicked impressed by the inside out 2 world-building based on psych frameworks?? i was super pleased until they bungled the ending of the movie.)

THE DUALITIES OF ELSA: 

strength, power // vulnerability

elsa is portrayed as an immensely powerful figure, yet her strength is tempered by a deep vulnerability. depending on whether you’re writing her in a frozen 2 or frozen context, she is the fifth spirit, and capable of wielding immense ice magic, yet her power often feels overwhelming and beyond her control. despite her abilities, she frequently struggles with feelings of inadequacy and fear, particularly when it comes to protecting those she loves. her strength is also emotional—she’s someone who has endured so much and learned to carry the weight of responsibility (e.g., ruler, leader, older sister, protector, warrior), yet this same strength often isolates her, making her feel disconnected from others, including her sister anna. (this is a theme that i especially played around with in frosted sea glass. Oldest Sister Syndrome™ dwellers: unite!) therefore, elsa, to me, is a character who embodies both strength and vulnerability. she has spent so much of her life trying to control her powers, to keep her emotions in check, and these habits, beliefs, and personality traits have been embedded in her daily practices, her mindsets, and her subconscious feelings for years—often to the point where she may not even realize the extent of it.  these critical, traumatic moments occurred during highly formative years of her development. 

guilt, shame, fear // responsibility, duty, honor

a recurring theme in elsa’s characterization (in my stories, remember) is her overwhelming sense of guilt and responsibility. she carries the burden of her powers, fearing that they might harm those she loves, as they did in the past. in more than you know, this fear is heightened when she (spoiler alert??) loses her powers and feels helpless to protect her kingdom and loved ones. even in other AUs and stories i’ve written, i love to explore elsa’s struggle to reconcile her duty as a protector with her fear of failing those she’s meant to protect. her interactions with jack whose confidence and insecurity duality i’ll get to later!) often highlight this tension, as she oscillates between (a) relying on him for support (sometimes against her better judgment and/or hopes and wishes lol [e.g., frosted sea glass, more than you know] and (b) pushing herself to be strong enough to push everyone away and do everything herself due to the hyper-indepedence she developed as a coping mechanism to trauma handle the threats alone.

emotional repression // self-discovery, empowerment, liberation

elsa has long repressed her emotions, stemming from a fear of losing control over her powers. this repression has made her reserved, cautious, and hesitant to let others in or to see what she’s really thinking inside. however, throughout the narrative of whatever story, she begins to confront these emotions, usually, in particular, through her growing relationship with jack. her realization that she trusts him (and the extent to which she does) is usually a Big Deal in whatever story i write, because elsa doesn’t just let anyone in, at most stages in her development. if she does… then she must have had a considerable amount of healing that she’s arleady done by that stage, i’d say. it is also a Big Deal in that whatever revelation about Actually Trusting Someone New is still a significant moment of vulnerability for her. why?? consider: elsa has lived through isolation, fear, and the burden of responsibility, and those experiences have shaped her into someone who feels deeply but hides it behind a calm, composed exterior for:

duty: what is queenly behavior, what is proper royal etiquette; 

safety: control the magic so that my loved ones and kingdom are safe; 

duty/secrecy, legacy, reputation: keep the magic under control so my family’s legacy is not “ruined”);

AND MORE.

elsa is always thinking multiple things at once. her brain never quiets. she is always considering multiple possibilities, paths, options; considering, “what is the worst thing that could happen and what will i do if it does?” and “how can i keep this bad thing from happening?” and trying to account for every single thing that could negatively impact her, her family, her kingdom. that is exhausting!! but, as anyone with anxiety or anxious tendencies likely knows, it becomes the norm. this level of high-intensity preparation and planning no longer seems strange (until it does)because it’s the norm (until it’s not). to suddenly have someone see all that is going on in her mind? in my stories, i like to play around with the degree ot which elsa hesitates (flees, refuses) to accept this kind of vulnerability and open-ness, before she finally (tentatively, cautiously) allows it.

conflicted desires // deeply ingrained sense of propriety/rightness

in every single one of my stories (even the ones in which you never get elsa’s perspective and you have to rely on Serially Unreliable Narrator jack 👀), elsa’s internal conflict is further complicated by her growing feelings for jack. she’s attracted to him, but these feelings are new and confusing, compounded by her inexperience and her deeply ingrained sense of propriety (whether because she’s royalty, or whatever AU equivalent i’ve chosen for whatever context). elsa’s awareness of their proximity, her flustered reactions, and her struggle to maintain composure all point to her conflicting desires. she is drawn to jack, but she doesn’t fully understand these feelings, leading to occasional moments of awkwardness and self-consciousness, OR, depending on where i’ve placed her in in her personal development trajectory for whatever AU (e.g., snow globe), with confidence and power in her (typically) go-to habit of wanting to exert control over a situation and keep strict control of her personal boundaries (which may not always make sense to jack *coughsnowglobecough* but he’s usually willing to ride the ride anyway). this conflict is particularly poignant because, despite her powerful exterior, elsa is inexperienced in matters of the heart, making her feelings for jack both exhilarating and terrifying. (AND WE KNOW WHAT THE GIRL USUALLY DOES WHEN SHE’S SCARED, caveat caveat, depends on the story and her growth, BUT Y’ALL KNOW.)

THE DUALITIES OF JACK:

as one of my followers lovingly pointed out in a tag on a reblog, jack is indeed “more than just snowballs and fun times”; he's a character defined by layers of complexity that go far beyond his playful exterior. while he often presents himself as carefree, mischievous, and full of life, there's a depth to jack that reveals a history of loneliness, responsibility, and a profound sense of duty.

(over)confidence // deep-rooted insecurities, jealousies

i often think of (and portray) jack as a character who oscillates between confidence and deep-seated insecurity (fear of abandonment, elements of anxious-attachment style, fear of rejection, feelings of unworthiness). on the surface, he appears sure of himself (bravado? sarcasm? cocksure smirks? witty banter? clever repartee?), especially when in battle (or uncomfortable, or feeling under attack in a way unrelated to physical battle). however, this confidence is often a mask for the vulnerability and loneliness he still feels. at his center, he’s the embodiment of fun, joy, and innocent mischief; he’s a carefree spirit. but beneath that lies a deep well of sadness and longing, a need to connect with others. i often think of the old adages that suggest that the people who laugh the loudest and smile the brightest are often the ones who have also experienced a lot of pain; the people who work the hardest to make sure others are included and feel heard are those who struggled to fit in and to feel like they belonged (insert traumatic taylor swift lyrics here).

the weight of loneliness (isolation, immortality) // connection, the desire to belong, DESPERATION

jack’s character is defined by a profound loneliness, born from centuries of isolation. this loneliness is compounded by his awareness that he is immortal (or, depending on the angst-level of the fic in question “not quite alive), a realization that makes him feel even more disconnected from those around him. his bond with elsa, therefore, is both a source of comfort and pain. it reminds him of what he has been missing, but it also highlights the (im)mortality gap between them—a gap he fears will only widen once their mission is over. his long existence (whether burdened with the responsibility of fighting against darkness for ages like in more than you know or in the canon-esque sense of loneliness and responsibility he feels in of at the center) has left him weary and isolated. jack’s interactions with elsa often bring out this duality; he wants to protect her, to be strong, but he (like her) also fears that he’s not enough, that he might fail her as he has failed others before. (and don’t get me started on how quickly the guardians blamed him in rotg! @bay7let made a great text post on that topic, but that’s another conversation for another day.) even in life as jackson overland, he was constantly doing his best to bring the kids joy (to make them like him?), to mess around and play pranks and not take life so seriously (to avoid failure and responsibility, ergo potential for failure?). yet we see that in the moment of crisis at he cracking pond, jackson overland was forced to make a very Difficult Decision to save his sister’s life; we are not shown the whereabouts of Jack’s parents in the movie when he was a human but i have often interpreted his tendency to Mess Around (coupled with his buried-but-deeply-ingrained sense of Brotherly Duty and Responsibility) as, in some ways, a response to his  ability (or, at least, the need) to Step Up into the role of protector when needed. (perhaps that’s often why i write jack’s father as being absent/gone, a la not in so many words?) as jack frost, his playful antics and love of fun are, in many ways, also a defense mechanism—ways to cope with the utter loneliness that has marked his existence since becoming a spirit (or the AU-equivalent). however, the snowballs and the laughter are not just for others; they’re a way for jack to hold on to a sense of humanity and connection in a world where he often feels unseen and unacknowledged. his interactions with elsa often reveal a softer, more openly vulnerable side—one that is capable of deep care and affection, but also one that is burdened by the fear of losing those he comes to care about. his protectiveness over elsa, his willingness to put himself in harm’s way to keep her safe, are things that he might try to initially convince himself are just part and parcel of being a guardian… 👀

shirking responsibility, selfishness // strong sense of duty and honor (selflessness):

on the one hand, jack’s lighthearted demeanor also masks the seriousness of his role in the world. as a guardian, he bears the responsibility of protecting children’s joy and wonder, a task that is both noble and heavy. he may be the guardian of fun, but he understands that his role is vital, and he’s willing to fight—literally and metaphorically—to ensure that he protects those under his care. in that sense, jack that is fiercely protective and deeply committed to his purpose (for the children, yes, but…. on the other hand, also for himself). (to maintain his family [because if he fails they may kick him out again], to keep his place in the world so he’s not lost again.) to what degree is his acts of goodness a selfless, altruistic act… and to what degree are his acts borne of desperation not to be left behind again, not to be forgotten, not to be shunned and turned away? we could argue that many of jack’s actions do have an underlying sense of selfishness and self-preservation, born of his desperation to stay afloat and stay remembered and Believed in. to that end, jack’s relationship with elsa often brings out this deeper, more serious side of him. (sure, her seriousness rubs off on him BUT) while he initially might seem like the one who lightens the mood, it eventually becomes clear that he is also a source of strength and stability, and that he can also have his low moments, which elsa (in response, i.e., “someone else is even more anxious than i am so i therefore feel LESS ANXIOUS”), might be able to lift him out of. his playfulness, then, is not just about fun; it’s about bringing light into a world that can often be dark, a world that he knows all too well. THUS, on the surface, jack appears to be selflessly committed to his role as a guardian, prioritizing the well-being and joy of others, particularly the children he protects. however, this “selflessness” is complicated by his underlying motivations. jack’s fear of being forgotten, abandoned, or rejected drives many of his actions. his need to be seen, loved, and believed in often influences his decisions, making his selflessness somewhat self-serving. he protects others not only because he cares but also because doing so ensures that he remains relevant, remembered, and loved. this duality creates an internal conflict within jack. He genuinely cares for others, especially elsa, but his actions are also driven by a desperate need to avoid the loneliness and insignificance he has experienced in the past. (it is a PLAYGROUND FOR ANGST, i tell you. ANGST AND COMFORT AND FEAR AND ANGST.) this tension between selfishness and selflessness impacts his relationship with Elsa. His protective instincts are both a sign of his care for her and a manifestation of his fear of losing her or being left behind. this complexity adds DELICIOUS DEPTH to his character, making his motivations more layered and nuanced.

reluctant acceptance of vulnerability // open-ness

jack’s journey with elsa forces him to confront his own vulnerability (something he has usually spent centuries/a LONG-ASS TIME avoiding). his initial shock at seeing elsa express feelings for him (in WHATEVER way, but usually the First Step toward Breaking Down a Wall and Letting Him In) reveals his deep-seated belief that no one could care for him in that way.  😭 this moment is usually a Turning Point (sound familiar at the center readers? 👀), as it forces jack to acknowledge his feelings for elsa and the UTTER, INESCAPABLE DEPTHS of his own (remembered, forever) loneliness. this disbelief is a key aspect of his character, as he struggles to accept that he deserves love and connection just as much as anyone else. 🥹 (just one more mistake, one more misstep, and—)

fear of abandonment, rejection // resilience, optimism:

he’s someone who’s been overlooked, forgotten by the world, and that’s left its mark on him. yet, he still chooses to care, to protect, to fight for those he loves. there’s a resilience in him that i always really admire, a refusal to let the darkness consume him. writing jack is a balancing act between capturing his playful nature and cutting into and digging around in the pain that he keeps hidden (even from himself). in essence, he embodies the balance between light and dark, joy and sorrow, play and responsibility. he’s a character who has learned to find strength (mask pain) in laughter, even when the world feels heavy, and who uses that strength to protect those he cares about… (however, not everyone, including elsa, always shares this mentality; everyone handles stress differently, remember, depending on the context.) in the end, with elsa, he finds someone who understands the complexities of this balance between duty/honor/responsibility and joy/freedom, and together, they navigate the challenges of their world (whichever AU that may be), finding solace in each other’s company and strength in their shared experiences.

FIC-SPECIFIC:

okay so i clearly can’t do a deep-dive analysis on every portray of ever fic, BUT, i’ll take a quick stab at mtyk!jack since it’s the one i’m currently writing right now.

more than you know: hidden tenderness and emotional walls

despite his more defensive, perhaps gruffer exterior, jack still (in any universe) harbors a deep tenderness, especially towards elsa. he cares for her more than he’s willing to admit, and this care manifests in small, protective gestures, as well as in his quiet support during moments of vulnerability. however, jack is also deeply afraid of these feelings. the realization that he might lose elsa (fear of abandonment/loss), or that she might no longer see him once their mission is over (ditto), terrifies him. as a result, he often [ JK THAT IS A SPOILER, I SHAN’T SAY 😉]. this [mysterious spoiler] creates a dynamic where jack is constantly at odds with his own emotions, torn between his desire to protect elsa and his fear of getting too close.

[percheduphere]

So...Thoughts on the whole people thinking Sylvie is Aro-Ace? I can kinda see her being Aromantic, but with her mentioning she's more "hedonistic" than Loki and silently hinting that she's Bi too, can't really see her as Asexual. But what do you think?

LET'S TALK ABOUT SYLVIE'S SEXUALITY, HER RELATIONSHIPS WITH LOKI AND MOBIUS, & HER CONTRIBUTIONS TO THE SERIES NARRATIVE

Before I answer this, I think it's important to acknowledge that fictional characters exist for people's comfort and pleasure. I write original fiction, and I would hope that most artists believe in the right of the audience to interpret character to meet their personal needs. To me, canon is a sandbox. Everyone should play with it as they please and not hate on each other. There are more important things in life to worry about. Therefore, if Sylvie reads as Aro-Ace to you and that reading brings you joy, then she is.

This question inherently requires the need to talk about Sylki in this post. I predominantly analyze Lokius, so please, no hate! My number one rule is never yucking someone's yum. Furthermore, Sylvie plays a critical role in Loki's development and the philosophical thrust of the series, of which Mobius also contributes to as the other half of Loki's character arc equation (selflessness and sparing life [Mobius] + free will and revolution [Sylvie]). It would be biased and disingenuous to not acknowledge her contributions to the overarching narrative.

ARO-ACE INTERPRETATION

All right, your question! I can definitely can see Sylvie as being aro-ace. That's a legitimate interpretation based on how she responds to Loki's flirtation and romantic advances. It is also possible that she's an aromantic bisexual. This second possibility is more likely based on the text the audience is given.

THE CANON TEXT

Having said that, I think you're curious about what the source material is trying to say about Sylvie's character and how that influences her sexuality. I believe it's important to remember that external behavior doesn't dictate how someone defines themselves. Closeting and disengagement from intimacy because of trauma are prime examples of this.

The train scene in S1E4 reads as earnest. Loki and Sylvie are both very lonely characters. In this moment, both are trying to connect with someone who finally understands them because they are the same. It's actually a lovely nod to the queer experience.

The dialogue, lighting, and costuming (blue, purple, pink) in this scene communicates they are both queer, specifically bisexual. The lighting and costuming combining to represent the bisexual pride flag is an example of queer subtext in film. The dialogue, while direct, is also written in such a way that it avoids explicitly stating "men and women." Sylvie later comments that the brief flings she indulges in during apocalypses helped her "keep going". She even specifies that apocalypses make people desperate. This suggests that Sylvie likely didn't need to do much wooing or charming like Loki would to obtain a sexual partner. Finally, the way Tom and Sophie play this scene is vulnerable. I therefore believe we can take this on-screen admission at face value.

So the question becomes, why does Sylvie respond to Loki's flirtations the way she does?

SYLVIE'S BACKGROUND

Sylvie was orphaned and forced to run all her life from a very young age. Her backstory is deeply tragic. To live in such a way means that she never had the opportunity to experience adolescence.

NOTE: This is honestly my favorite gif of Sylvie. She's so sweet and cute when she's happy. I can't get over the 5 stars on her employee badge. "Sylvie, can you refill the straws?" "Already did it!" The sweetheart.

Sylvie working at McDonald's accomplishes two things: it allows Disney to fulfill their advertising sponsorship agreement for the fast-food franchise, and it subtly alludes to Sylvie's need to live the adolescence she didn't get to. The TVA forced her into arrested development. She never had the chance to make friends and safely socialize on her own terms. The centuries of trauma have made trust, let alone romance, completely foreign to her.

Which is why, when Loki and Sylvie have romantic scenes, she is often awkward or, if not unreceptive, wary. Her previous flings, as she agrees with Loki, were "never real". Physical intimacy without emotional intimacy is a familiar dynamic for both characters. Their relationship with one another is their first experience of emotional intimacy (or at least attempt at it) outside of their families. The pursuit of this emotional intimacy feels safe to them because they are the same entity and thus they know each other's base nature (versus nurture!) to some degree.

The difference between them is that Sylvie has not experienced social rejection in the way Loki has (nurture!). She recognizes the wrongness with which the TVA has treated her. She knows the absolute atrocities the TVA has committed. She is determined to destroy them to free herself and all timelines. Sylvie is consequently more self-assured, more confident in what she wants and believes in, than Loki. In S2, Sylvie's clarity on desire is what allows her to help Loki articulate what he wants: his friends back, most especially Mobius.

In S1E1, Loki, still posturing before Mobius, describes himself as a "liberator". At this point in the story, we know that isn't true, but it will become true by the finale. This line of dialogue foreshadows Loki's trajectory as well as Sylvie's revealed motivation in S1E4: to liberate.

THE NEXUS EVENT

There are a variety of ways for viewers to interpret what exactly the Nexus Event was. The canon, within the text of Mobius's dialogue and verbal confirmation from the creators, is that Loki and Sylvie fell in love. Now, I'm not going to spend time arguing over other interpretations here, but I will say that regardless of whatever pairing or OT3 a viewer ships, the Nexus Event was ALSO definitively this: two Lokis in the same place, at the same time, not feeling lonely together.

And Sylvie, who had confessed to Loki she has no friends and has never really experienced joy, answers Renslayer with the number of positive memories she has:

Sylvie doesn't state it outright, but the subtext is clear that her one positive memory was her time with Loki on Lamentis. Indeed, moments later, Sylvie prunes herself in an effort to find and rescue him.

SYLVIE & MOBIUS

But being the harshly pragmatic individual she is, upon arrival and encountering Alioth, Sylvie assumes Loki didn't make it. I don't think Sylvie means what she says in a cruel way. I think she believes this because she is accustomed to disappointment and accordingly guards herself with cynicism. Sylvie's traumas, her difficulty with trust, her inexperience with intimate relationships, and her cynicism all combine to create an individual who may appear aro-ace when that may not necessarily be the case. Please note, however, that Sylvie being aro-ace or aro-bisexual may still be a possibility. My analysis here is based on what the text and subtext seem to be telling us about her character.

Notably, it is Mobius who is more optimistic about Loki's survival, wondering if Sylvie truly believes that Loki is dead.

This moment is brief, but it is significant because Mobius's optimism implies that not only does he believe in Loki, he also wants Loki to be alive. Sylvie is intelligent. She can read between the lines. We can also assume an off-screen conversation took place between them that confirmed for Sylvie Mobius's genuine care for Loki. When Sylvie informs Loki of this fact, I believe we get this:

Mobius was conservative in how Loki might interpret their relationship, extending a handshake before their goodbyes. Loki, on the heels of his conversation with Sylvie, chooses to hug him instead. The result: Mobius is delighted!

I've long pondered on why Mobius would say, "You're my favorite" to Sylvie. I believe this is why: she helped along their friendship and opened the gates for physical affection between them. This demonstrates that Sylvie cares enough for Loki to ensure he is secure in his bond with Mobius. It likely helped that Mobius did not deny the TVA's evil when she pointed it out to him, and that he did not hesitate to apologize to her for it.

Ironically, it is Mobius's optimism, especially in the potential of broken things to become something better (whether it is Loki himself or the TVA), that creates the fraught philosophical divide between Sylvie and Mobius (and Loki) with regards to the TVA in S2.

THE S1 FINALE

The S2 finale is where the narrative between Loki and Sylvie turns, and the plot pivots to the deepening relationship between Loki and Mobius. Triggering this event is Loki's desire to slow down and think about the consequences of killing HWR in the Citadel at The End of Time.

This may seem out-of-character at first glance. S1E1-E4 have demonstrated that Loki's decision making is sometimes chaotic by virtue of impulse. What was the last impulsive decision he made with heavy consequences?

He ran off after Sylvie. A good decision ultimately, as Loki learns the truth about the TVA through Sylvie, but only by luck. This decision very nearly cost Loki a friendship, one he didn't even realize he had until Mobius called him a "bad friend."

Despite the fallout, Mobius recovers relatively quickly once he confirms Loki's claims and views Ravonna's recording of C-20. He reestablishes trust with Loki as soon as possible to help Loki be with the one he loves. Why? Because Mobius is ultimately selfless and wants Loki's happiness regardless of his own feelings of jealousy.

Which circles us back to the theme of trust and Sylvie's challenges with it.

Loki and Sylvie's relationship falls apart not because of lack of mutual interest, but because Sylvie loses trust in Loki and with good reason: HWR (and thus the TVA) is the cause of all her suffering.

It is not Sylvie's fault she is this way. She hasn't had enough time to develop meaningful relationships, and the one relationship that was meaningful to her (Loki's) became, in her eyes, a profound betrayal. This experience only adds to the other traumas Sylvie carries with her, making encounters with Loki in S2 emotionally difficult if not triggering.

The relationships of Loki & Sylvie and Loki & Mobius are intentionally set side-by-side for 3 critical reasons:

1.) To demonstrate Loki's growth by developing trust and thus emotional intimacy with others.

2.) To create the Plot B emotional source of conflict in S2.

3.) To set-up Mobius and Sylvie's individual beliefs and values (selflessness and sparing life [Mobius] + free will and revolution [Sylvie]), which Loki combines into his own system of beliefs and values. This combination gives Loki the strength and wisdom to ascend the throne and become the God of Stories (and Time).

THE S2 FINALE

Loki comes to his final decision after speaking with the two halves of his character arc equation. Loki first seeks out Mobius, who shares with him the distinction between himself and Ravonna. Now, this is brainwashed Mobius. Brainwashed Mobius believed Ravonna could do the impossible while he couldn't. But Loki knows Ravonna's corruption.

Beneath Mobius's wisdom that "most purpose is more burden than glory" is also Mobius's heart: he could not prune children and that instinct was the right decision. His "failure" was not a failure of duty but rather his humanity succeeding despite the brainwashing. It's this same intrinsic compassion that drove Mobius to convince Ravonna to spare Loki. Loki articulates this to Don as such. He therefore takes the message of selflessness and sparing life from Mobius to Sylvie.

Sylvie, in turn, challenges Loki, stating they should have the freedom and right to fight whatever comes on their own terms.

She also stresses that it is all right to destroy things. Upon hearing this, Loki comes to the conclusion that what is destroyed must be replaced with something better. What needs to be destroyed? Not the TVA and the people in it (not Mobius, Verity, OB, and Casey), but the Loom.

Loki sacrificed himself (selflessness + sparing life [Mobius]) in order to save all timelines (free will + revolution [Sylvie]). Loki sparing Sylvie's life is a direct consequence of Mobius having fought to spare his.

Through this sacrifice, Loki gifts Sylvie the chance to get the type of positive experiences she wants and needs, which includes future romance, if she so chooses. That is canon and is a genuinely romantic gesture regardless of anyone's interpretation of mutual reciprocation or lack thereof.

It is also canon that Loki loves Mobius and Mobius loves Loki. Their actions for one another across both seasons demonstrate this to be true. Is it also romantic? Absolutely. Is it sexual? On screen, no, and it doesn't have to be. Romance does not require sex, let alone physical contact, to exist.

Loki loves them both.

[hayatheauthor]

Writing Believable Teenage Characters: Dos and Don'ts

Creating compelling teenage characters is crucial for engaging young adult readers and immersing them in your story. However, it can be challenging to capture the authentic essence of teenage experiences. In this blog post, I’ll explore essential dos and don'ts for crafting believable teenage characters that resonate with your audience. 

By understanding the unique mindset of teenagers, conducting thorough research, developing distinct personalities, mastering dialogue and communication, and navigating relationships and social dynamics, you'll be equipped to bring your teenage characters to life. I would also like to mention that a lot of these tips stem from the fact that I myself am a teenager, so I speak from experience. 

Understanding the Teenage Mindset

To create convincing teenage characters, it's crucial to grasp the complexities of the teenage mindset. Teenagers are undergoing a significant period of growth and self-discovery, facing numerous emotional and psychological changes. Here are some key aspects to consider:

Emotional rollercoaster: Adolescence is often characterized by intense emotions and mood swings. Your teenage characters should exhibit a range of emotions, such as excitement, fear, anger, and insecurity. Explore their emotional landscapes and provide relatable experiences for readers.

Identity formation: Teenagers are exploring their identities and seeking independence. They might question societal norms, challenge authority, and embark on journeys of self-discovery. Show your characters' struggles, personal growth, and the conflicts they face while finding their place in the world.

Peer pressure and self-image: Teenagers often experience the influence of peer pressure and societal expectations, which can impact their self-esteem and decision-making. Highlight the conflicts arising from these pressures and their impact on your characters' choices.

Evolving identities: It's important to acknowledge that the teenage years are a transformative phase, and who teenagers are during this period might differ significantly from who they become as adults. If you're writing a long-term story that spans several years, consider the potential growth and changes your teenage characters will undergo.

Research and Observation

In order to create authentic teenage characters, conducting thorough research and observation is vital. This enables you to understand the nuances of teenage behavior, language, and experiences. Here are some key steps to consider:

Immerse yourself in teenage culture

Dive into the world of teenagers by exploring contemporary media, such as books, movies, TV shows, and music targeted at young adults. Pay attention to how teenagers are portrayed and the themes that resonate with them.

Example: By reading popular young adult novels like "The Fault in Our Stars" by John Green or watching coming-of-age films like "Eighth Grade," you can gain valuable insights into the lives and struggles of teenagers.

Engage with real teenagers

Interact with teenagers in various settings to observe their behavior, conversations, and interests. Volunteer at youth organizations, attend school events, or join online communities where teenagers discuss their experiences. Take note of their mannerisms, slang, and current trends.

Conduct interviews or surveys

Reach out to teenagers for interviews or surveys to gather firsthand information about their lives, experiences, and opinions. This allows you to capture diverse viewpoints and ensure your characters reflect the realities of teenage existence.

Stay updated on evolving trends

Teenage culture is dynamic and constantly evolving. Stay informed about the latest trends, technological advancements, and social media platforms that shape teenagers' lives. Incorporate these elements into your storytelling to add authenticity and relevance.

Developing Unique Personalities

To create believable teenage characters, it is crucial to develop distinct and authentic personalities. Avoid falling into the trap of using stereotypes or clichés. Here are some dos and don'ts for developing unique teenage characters:

Avoid stereotypes and clichés

Do: Challenge common stereotypes associated with teenagers, such as the rebellious troublemaker or the socially awkward nerd. Instead, aim for multifaceted and diverse characters.

Don't: Rely on one-dimensional clichés that flatten the depth of your characters and make them predictable.

Example: Instead of portraying the teenage girl as a shallow cheerleader, consider a character who balances her cheerleading passion with academic ambitions and a talent for playing the guitar.

Individual motivations and aspirations

Do: Give each teenage character their own motivations, desires, and goals that drive their actions and decisions. This adds complexity and realism to their personalities.

Don't: Make your characters solely defined by their relationships or generic goals like popularity or romantic interests.

Example: Rather than having a character whose sole purpose is to pursue a romantic relationship, create a character who aspires to become an environmental activist and fights for climate justice.

Embrace a range of emotions and conflicts

Do: Explore a broad spectrum of emotions and internal conflicts that reflect the emotional rollercoaster of teenage years. Show their vulnerability, fears, and inner growth.

Don't: Present your characters as emotionless or overly dramatic caricatures.

Example: Allow your character to experience moments of doubt, heartbreak, and self-discovery. Let them wrestle with ethical dilemmas, confront their fears, and learn from their mistakes.

Show growth and change

Do: Portray character development and growth over time. Teenagers evolve, learn from their experiences, and develop a deeper understanding of themselves and the world.

Don't: Keep your characters static throughout the story, ignoring their potential for growth and transformation.

Example: Begin with a shy and reserved character who gradually gains confidence and finds their voice, evolving into a leader who inspires change in their community.

Dialogue and Communication

Creating authentic dialogue and communication for your teenage characters is essential to make them believable. It helps readers connect with the characters and enhances the overall realism of your story. Here are some dos and don'ts for portraying teenage dialogue and communication:

Portraying authentic teenage dialogue and slang

Do: Pay attention to the vocabulary and speech patterns commonly used by teenagers. Incorporate slang and colloquialisms that are prevalent among the target age group and location. This helps establish a sense of realism and relatability.

Don't: Overdo the use of slang or rely on stereotypes. Avoid using excessive amounts of trendy slang that may quickly become outdated or confusing for readers. Remember to strike a balance between authenticity and readability.

Example: Avoid using every popular slang term in every sentence. Instead, sprinkle them sparingly and purposefully throughout the dialogue.

Balancing realism with readability

Do: Aim for dialogue that feels natural and mirrors real-life conversations. Use contractions, pauses, interruptions, and hesitations to mimic the ebb and flow of spoken language. Consider the rhythm, pacing, and tone of teenage conversations.

Example: "I can't believe she did that! It's, like, totally unfair," Lisa exclaimed, her voice filled with frustration and disbelief.

Don't: Overcomplicate dialogue or make it overly formal or stilted. Avoid unnatural speech patterns or overly polished language that doesn't reflect how teenagers typically communicate with each other.

Example: "I cannot fathom the injustice of her actions. It is thoroughly unfair," Lisa protested, her tone composed and articulate.

Addressing the role of technology and social media

Do: Incorporate technology and social media platforms into your characters' communication. Depict texting, instant messaging, social media interactions, and the use of emojis or GIFs. These elements reflect the reality of how teenagers communicate and form relationships in the digital age.

Example: Emma sent a quick Snapchat to her best friend, sharing a funny meme they had discovered, and eagerly awaited her response.

Don't: Ignore the influence of technology or limit your characters' communication to face-to-face interactions alone. Technology plays a significant role in how teenagers connect and express themselves, so it should be integrated into your storytelling.

Adapting slang to match the era

Do: Recognize that slang and language usage evolve over time. If your story is set in a different time period, research and incorporate the appropriate slang and language of that era. This attention to historical context enhances the authenticity of your characters and setting.

Example: In a story set in the 1990s, a character might say, "That's phat!" to express excitement, reflecting the slang of that era.

Don't: Use modern-day slang and language for characters in historical or past settings, as it will undermine the authenticity of the narrative and make it less believable.

Remember, the key is to strike a balance between authenticity and readability when crafting teenage dialogue and communication. By incorporating realistic language, capturing the nuances of technology and social media, and considering the appropriate slang for the era, you can create engaging and relatable teenage characters.

Navigating Relationships and Social Dynamics

One of the essential aspects of creating believable teenage characters is accurately portraying their relationships and navigating the complex dynamics of adolescence. Here are some dos and don'ts for capturing authentic relationships and social interactions:

Depicting the complexities of friendships and peer groups

Do: Showcase the diverse nature of friendships and the dynamics within peer groups. Explore the highs and lows, loyalty, conflicts, and the evolving nature of these relationships.

Example: Showcasing a group of friends who support each other through challenges, celebrate successes together, but also experience occasional disagreements and conflicts.

Don't: Present stereotypical or one-dimensional friendships. Avoid relying solely on cliques or popular group dynamics without exploring the complexities and individuality within them.

Exploring romantic relationships and the challenges they present

Do: Develop romantic relationships that are realistic and nuanced. Highlight the ups and downs, the emotional intensity, the exploration of boundaries, and the growth that comes with these experiences.

Example: Depicting a budding romance where the characters navigate uncertainties, communication challenges, and personal growth while discovering their feelings for each other.

Don't: Romanticize or trivialize relationships. Avoid portraying idealized or overly simplistic love stories without addressing the complexities and challenges that arise in teenage romances.

Incorporating familial relationships and dynamics

Do: Include meaningful interactions between teenage characters and their family members. Explore the influences, conflicts, and support systems within these relationships, capturing the range of emotions experienced in familial dynamics.

Example: Showcasing a strained relationship between a teenager and their parent due to contrasting values, but also moments of understanding and eventual reconciliation.

Don't: Neglect the importance of familial relationships or portray them as insignificant or nonexistent. Avoid relying solely on negative or stereotypical family dynamics without showcasing positive aspects as well.

By authentically depicting the complexities of friendships and peer groups, exploring realistic romantic relationships and their challenges, and incorporating meaningful familial relationships and dynamics, you'll bring depth and relatability to your teenage characters.

Conclusion

Creating believable teenage characters requires a thoughtful approach that captures their unique mindset, conducts thorough research, develops distinct personalities, masters dialogue and communication, and navigates relationships and social dynamics. By following the dos and avoiding the don'ts, you can craft teenage characters that resonate with readers, providing them with relatable experiences and enriching your storytelling.

Remember, authenticity and attention to detail are key. Embrace the diversity and complexity of teenage experiences, staying true to their emotions, motivations, and growth throughout your narrative. By doing so, you'll create memorable characters that captivate your audience and bring your stories to life.

I hope this blog on Writing Believable Teenage Characters will help you in your writing journey. Be sure to comment any tips of your own to help your fellow authors prosper, and follow my blog for new blog updates every Monday and Thursday.  

Looking For More Writing Tips And Tricks? 

Are you an author looking for writing tips and tricks to better your manuscript? Or do you want to learn about how to get a literary agent, get published and properly market your book? Consider checking out the rest of Haya’s book blog where I post writing and publishing tips for authors every Monday and Thursday! And don’t forget to head over to my TikTok and Instagram profiles @hayatheauthor to learn more about my WIP and writing journey! 

[ovenproofowl]

a lot of people have said it, but I’m throwing in my two cents just to get it off my chest.

Picard season 3 was . Bad . For a LOT of reasons . It felt like - as many before me have expressed - a self-insert fanfic with the dullest self-insert in history.

Jack Crusher wasn’t much of a character but he could have had some promise if they hadn’t spent an aggravating amount of time having him decree how different he always felt, you guys. Did you get that part? He’d always felt different. That sort of dialogue might have flown if we were dealing with Picard’s adolescent son, but instead we’re dealing with a 24 year old played by a 35 year old who looks every bit his age. (It was a hard 24 years, we must assume.)

The reason that Jack Crusher didn’t work for me personally, though, wasn’t because of how cliché his character was. I would have let that pass much easier if it wasn’t for the big ol’ elephant in the room. And that is simply that :

JACK CRUSHER WAS NEVER NECESSARY

Jack may have served a purpose to the storyline that was presented if only because he was the sole reason there was a Big Bad to be defeated in the first place. Everyone wanted to kidnap him, he brought the old gang back together just to protect him and then later save him from said Big Bad which was also actually .. him. Everything Was About Jack. But I’m not talking about the main plot. I Really Don’t Want to Talk About the Main Plot. Ever. What I want to talk about is what Jack represented that made him so unnecessary:

He was intended to represent Jean-Luc Picard’s only reason to start living.

Personally, that really, really offended me. Picard didn’t need to have a biological kid to have a purpose. In fact, it’s been established time and time again that he wasn’t ever really dad material. More of a... weirdly intense uncle. For a while, he wasn’t a fan of kids at all. Eventually, though, Picard is seen to warm to the idea of letting children within his general vicinity. This starts in TNG and continues on in season 1 of Picard. The Only Categorically Good Season of this whole. show.

In season 1, we see flashbacks of Jean-Luc’s relationship with a young Elnor, how he would read him stories and have sword fights with him. He was an absent father to an adopted child he hadn’t even realised he’d adopted and yet Elnor still fought for his hopeless cause. In much the same way, Picard meets Dahj and then later, Soji. He feels a kinship with these androids because of their connection to Data. He wants to protect Soji becase he couldn’t protect Dahj and Soji even canonically questions whether she should allow Picard to act as her father figure before she begins to remember where she came from. Both of these dynamics were infinitely more interesting and a lot deeper rooted. Soji and Elnor were both young twenty-somethings without parental guidance but found that guidance through Picard. Soji had her connection to Jurati, too, and Elnor had his with Seven and Raffi and that’s what made the whole group so intriguing to follow. They all had interesting connections to each other that had so many avenues to explore.

Unfortunately, the show decided to more or less write Soji and Elnor out of the story come season 2. Elnor was killed off for the majority of the season and only brought back by Q intervention in the last episode. Soji wasn’t even a part of the story at all. And do you know what’s sad about that? What’s really sad? Season 2 was trying to sell us the exact same message as season 3. That Picard needed a reason to live. But, like, not that reason. Not the reasons he’d already been given in the form of his found family with his Romulan and android adopted children, or even the rest of the La Sirena crew. No no no, we can’t have that, better get rid of them. This time, Laris is the focal point. Picard had been avoiding a romantic relationship with her because of a never before mentioned dark history surrounding his mother’s suicide. Because, sure, at this point, why not? While we’re at it, let’s also kill off Rios in the most slap-in-the-face out of character way possible and fling Jurati at the Borg for good measure just so she won’t be around for season 3. Her character development into the Borg Queen was pretty intriguing, but we’ll totally ignore that they even exist post her departure, just for funsies. Oh, and Soji and Elnor? Best not mention them at all come that third and final season. Otherwise, people might get the crazy notion that Picard already had a reason not to hunker down and die at the vinyard at the tender age of 104.

Season 3 picks up where season 2 leaves off in that Picard is now in that aforementioned romantic relationship with Laris. Except, no he isn’t because he immediately gets an emergency call from his ex and literally never sees or talks to Laris ever again. There wasn’t even a throw-away line or implied reference to her, but by now I’m sure you know the reason for that.

That’s right, folks. Because if we were allowed to remember Laris and what she meant to Picard, then we might just remember that other thing. Say it with me now!!

JACK CRUSHER WAS NEVER NECESSARY!!

In summary, there were so many brilliant options to give Picard for signficant found family dynamics, but the show just wasn’t interested in any of them. Season 3 wanted a Picard who had given it all up, who was ready to die because he’d never had a family to pass on his legacy. They wanted him at his lowest so that we’d all rejoice to see him return to the TNG crew. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a massive TNG fan and I could rave about the fan service and nostalgia porn for hours on end. If season 3 had stood alone as a singular unconnected event, it might even have been passable as a warm hug from old and beloved characters with some fun new spins to their stories along the way, juust so long as you didn’t squint too hard at the actual attempt at plot writing going on in the background.

But the fact of the matter is, Picard season 3 came far too late into the game. Season 1 held the building blocks to something new and interesting. By the end of season 2, it was becoming clear we were never going to see those blocks stand. By season 3, those blocks were just scattered headstones in a graveyard.

They teased us with the potential new show of Captain Seven and her Number One Raffi Musiker and that might have just been okay. . .

. . .If the La Sirena Crew had been allowed to be a part of that future.

In closing: Picard season 3? Too little, too late, mate. 👎🏻

[ares-ariborn]

NUEVE/DR. EDISON

Here's a watercolour warmup for WAUtober! Originally, this is just a ink lineart of him, but then I got carried away XDDD

Believe it or not, one of my favourite antagonists in Ejen Ali is Dr. Aaron Edison AKA. Nueve! To be honest, he wasn't really my favourite character during the first season of Ejen Ali, until I read about Dr. Edison's backstory in Ejen Ali : M.A.T.A Secret Files

(Keep reading for spoilers + commentary!)

I like the fact that in the first part, it starts off with Aaron just straight up being a brat by treating the other competitors and his teammates like garbage (lmao). However, if you were to read this comic a few times, and his dialogue, you just know that he (probably) is on the Autism Spectrum, or in someway neurodivergent.

Instead of fighting or apologising to his teammates, he straight up just explains about how humans used to fight amongst themselves to determine who is the most dominant (Alpha), genuinely thinking that this is a viable solution to the situation that he has unfortunately put himself in, due to his poor leadership and social skills.

It shows that during his juvenile years, either Aaron (or his parents) was aware about it or not, he has always been showing signs of neurodivergence ever since the beginning. Although he is a savant in STEM, and (most likely) has a special interest in human evolution, his neurodivergence has caused him to get into trouble, and struggle to interact with peers of his age.

This panel genuinely cements my headcanon that Dr. Aaron Edison has Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD).

The monochrome panel shows Aaron's attempt on deescalating the situation that he his in, by attempting to psychoanalyse his teammate (Perhaps trying to relate his teammate in some way?). However, he doesn't realise that his words can be taken as sarcasm, or as an insult. This shows that Aaron has trouble reading social cues, especially during his juvenile years.

In the second part of the comic, we see Dr. Edison, now as an young adult, is on his way to achieve his ambitions on being Cyberaya's Top Scientist. He was able to gain the attention of Dr. Tong, the Lead Biotech Researcher of Tong Industry with his prototype, the Neuro Drive.

However, he has now developed a superiority complex, believing that he is the "future of the human race", while anyone who opposes him have "small, unevolved minds".

Other than that, he has also developed some sort of an Antisocial Personality Disorder, as he not only believes that emotions are "useless" and is an obstacle to human progress, but he is willing to use others to achieve his goals, even as far as using them as unwilling lab rats for his prototypes.

We may not know what he went through before he started his career at Tong Industries, but we all know that the paths he went through his life has unfortunately shaped him into the villain he is today.

Although I wished that WAU would make him go through a redemption arc, the chances of them doing so might be quite slim. But honestly, we don't know what they're planning to do with him! Because if they just want to keep him as a villain, with or without Numeros, why even bother to write a backstory for him? 👀👀👀

If WAU were to make Dr. Edison go through an arc, it would be an absolutely, extremely hard and complex arc he would have to face. Not only he has to live and cope with the trauma working with Numeros (especially Cinco), he basically has to reevaluate his life decisions, as well as face his inner demons (I'm sure his Superiority Complex and his Antisocial Personality Disorder doesn't come out of nowhere....).

I'm sure writing an arc like this is extremely complicated, especially when Ejen Ali (the series) is primarily targeted towards kids and adolescents. But if the WAU crew is able to pull something off like this, it would've been revolutionary to Malaysia's animation industry, considering Malaysian society, especially Malaysian media, rarely touches on mental health and struggles in facing traumatic incidents, neurodivergence and mental illnesses.

Anyways, that's all I have to say. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

[garoumylove]

I know there will be several talented people doing write ups on this but I just want to add my own two cents as well because this got me emotional.

The reason I write Garou fanfics so much is because I find his psyche absolutely fascinating and close to my heart. He presents with such anger and sassy cockiness while dealing with so much inner turmoil. And most of the time we don't get to see that inner turmoil but every once in a while ONE/Murata will lift that veil through one panel or a piece of dialogue and we get a glimpse of the troubled young man and all those painful feelings inside. And it's that pain, inner conflict, the vulnerability he guards so closely that I love to explore and that makes me fall for him over and over again.

This panel is one of those. As I've mentioned a while ago, I'm not a fan of the way Garou has been characterised in the manga since he reappeared on the surface at the end of the MA arc and especially not a fan of his characterisation post MA arc. This, however, is the Garou that I love. The troubled young man who pushes his way through life with a heady mix of bravado and stoicism. And then we get this.

"I'd love to show you how 'easy' it would be...' accompanied by a somewhat gruesome inverted panel with blood splatter. To me, this is the first time Garou is letting out his pain and frustration at his loss with Saitama. His ideology, while simplistic, got him through a tough childhood and adolescence. He clung to that goal and shed an exorbitant amount of blood and sweat over it only to discover it was never going to be. The loss of that would be gut wrenching. And finally here we get him giving us a glimpse of that raging pain. Of that vulnerability.

But what gets me even more is the next line "You worthless hunk of junk that can't even bleed or feel pain". This is one of the most obvious and clear times that Garou is coming face to face with his own pain. To me, it's like he's finally admitting that he is in pain. Not physical pain, but just this existential pain that he finds himself sometimes drowning in and doesn't know what to do with.

And then next panel he just goes right back to work with the older guys looking after him which I find so fucking sweet and adorable, telling the lad to put everything down and stop working.

At this point I see Garou starting to deal with all that backlog of pain and trauma. He is not in it all the time but he allows it to come to the surface, holding it, feeling it and then he goes back to this new low-key life. This isn't something he is going to process in one go. This will be an ongoing process. Diving head first into that chaos, those demons in his head, into everything that hurts and unravelling it a little at a time before swimming back to shore and going on with his life.

It's a process that I think is a lot more poignant and powerful than the happy-go-lucky de-fanged puppy characterisation we currently (but didn't used to) get in the manga. The Garou we get in the webcomic still has those fangs, but he lets himself be more than that little by little. One day, he will be at peace with who he really is and every time I think about it, I kinda want to tear up.

[missellaneousworks]

Sunny Day Jack Reincarnation AU/Theory - Ella/Meli [Part 1]

I may be a little late on the Reincarnation Theory/AU train, but better late than never, am I right?

This is going to be a little bit different compared to most of my writings.  Half of it is going to simply be me explaining my headcannons for the back story, and then there will be some actual story and dialogue for scenes that popped into my head from a dream I had about this.  I apologize for the odd skips in the narrative or plot holes, as I'm mostly writing what I remember from a dream I had about this AU.  Bear with me and enjoy the ride!

CW: Mentions of unhealthy parental figures, troubingling childhoods, emotional abuse.

____

Melissa Murphy. 

"Meli" to her friends. Only her parents called her by her full name. She hated it.

Physically, she has the same face and body type as Ella, however, in adulthood, Meli dyes her hair dirty blonde and styles it differently from Ella.

Personality-wise, Melissa (aka) Meli is more outspoken than Ella but is just as sweet and creative. But is still a little shy. Surprisingly, she shows less hesitancy when standing up for herself.  Ella does have that same fire inside of her, but it’s deeply suppressed. 

Another main difference between the two are their parents.  Ella’s parents were very loving but imperfect.  Because Ella was their only child, they were a little protective of her, so they were strict during her childhood and early adolescence.  Melissa had several siblings that all moved out of the house before she could finish school, her parents were more… authoritarian, but we’ll get into that soon. 

Joseph and Melissa were schoolmates who eventually became friends.  Meli had both parents living in a dysfunctional home, with her often getting in the middle of their fights.  Her mom wanted her to go to college, as she had to drop out after she got pregnant with Melissa, and her father, who originally wanted a son, pushed Melissa with her studies and image in order to create the perfect child.  “Might as well look good so you can hook a rich boy once you get into college.”  Yeah, he kind of a pig.  Her mother would stand up for Melissa, but the older she got, the more she lost her fire to defend her daughter.  It wasn’t a very healthy environment.

Despite that, Melissa still had plenty of friends but tried to hide how dysfunctional her home life truly was, including her unhappiness.  It was easy to conceal since her parents were good at putting on “masks” to uphold their reputation within the community. 

Joseph came from a broken home, too, and had a reputation for getting into fights.  One day Melissa snuck out of school for a quick smoke behind the gym where Joseph was nursing a wound from a recent scuffle.  He’s suspicious when Melissa asks if he’s all right, and brushes her off at first, then asks for a smoke. Melissa gives him one, on the condition he doesn’t blab that she uses this location to sneak out of her third-period class sometimes.  He agrees and they more or less continue to smoke in silence.  Every once and a while, they’ll both appear at their hiding spot at the same time, and each time, Joseph will ask for a cigarette.  

Eventually… they start talking.  First, it was about music.  Melissa would sometimes bring her favorite cassette tapes for Joseph to borrow, and vice versa.  Eventually, they’d talk about school, mostly what they didn’t like about it.  But other stuff, too.  Things they liked.  Meli tells Joseph she wants to own her own five-star restaurant, he jokes he could taste test her food.  When she does make something yummy, she’ll save a little for Joseph to try. He gobbles it up every time. 

---

"Do you always cook, Melissa?"

"Meli," she corrected him, taking a brush from her bag and fixing her bangs. "I feel like my Dad'll materialize out of nowhere when I hear my full name."

"...right." He glanced back to the homemade chicken pot pie in the ceramic bowl. "Did you really sneak this into school?"

"Nnnnot exactly," Meli flipped her ponytail. "I'm on good terms with the home-ec teacher, Mrs. Billows. Used to stay behind glass to help clean up. Before she cooks something with her class, she shows them a sample. And when she's too lazy to cook it in advance, I make it for her in her classroom since it has a full kitchen."

Joseph wrinkled his nose at that. "And you get free food out of it?"

"If I happen to make a little too much," she winked with a knowing twinkle.

"Heh, I'm not complaining." Joseph shoveled another mouthful, trying to savor every bite, but it was hard on an empty stomach.

"Hey, slow down! You're going to give yourself a stomach ache!"

"Hrmph, yer naht dah bosth ov meh," replied with a full mouth.

"Gross! Swallow your food first, Joey!" Meli wrinkles her nose in mock disgust.

Joseph did so, but then paused a moment. "Joey?" He asked incredulous. "Do I look like a Joey to you?"

Tilting her head ro the side, she thought for a moment before nodding. "I think so, yeah. Joseph sounds a little too serious."

For a long moment, Joseph stared at Meli, as if trying to decide how to react. Looked away, his brows pinched together. "Just don't go spreading it around, sheesh..."

Satisfied, Meli smiled at the stubborn boy as he continued to eat. Joseph partially turned away to hide the blush that started to creep on his face.

---

As the two got closer, Meli formed secret a crush on Joseph. There was… more to him than just a scary troublemaker like she originally thought.  She liked it when he talked about music and wanting to become a musician.  The few times he actually laughed at her sarcastic quips, or when he got his guitar out to play on the few occasions they met outside of school.  Joseph was surprised that Melissa Murphy of all people had more spark in her than most others saw. It was a rebellious ember, just smoldering under the surface but you could feel the warmth of it if you stood close enough. It was… kinda cute. Meli was cute. And the two of them secretly pinned for one another.

Unfortunately, it was not meant to be this time. 

At some point, Joseph ran away from home.  The reason is currently unknown, whether it was one big factor or several events that corresponded in Joseph making the decision.  However, after he has a particularly bad fight on school grounds (again), Melissa tries to find Joseph since he’s been cagier than usual.  She has some idea that his home life wasn’t great, but, there were certain details she didn’t know about.  Meli tries and fails to get Joseph to open up to her, to make him understand that he’s her friend and she’ll help in any way she can, but… while the sentiment came from a very good place, it misses the mark ever so slightly.  Joseph retorts back at Meli, saying it’s not like she could understand, that just because they share smokes sometimes doesn’t mean they’re good friends.  That he didn't need her or anyone else and she should just get lost.

That was the last time Melissa saw Joseph Cullman.

The heartbreak doesn’t end for Melissa there.  When she got home, she was met with a scorned look from her father, and her mother wouldn’t even look her in the eyes.  The principal had called to tell them that Melissa’s grades were slipping in a few of her classes and that one of the faculty members had seen her smoking outside with another student.  Her father threw one horrendous accusation at her after another.  Her mother just… sat there, looking away.  In the past, her mom would to stay in Melissa’s corner, but now she was a shell of the woman she used to be.  No matter what Meli said or pleaded, her father wouldn’t have it. 

She is shipped off to a ‘prestigious all-girls boarding school’ that night. Not being able to say goodbye to any of her friends, including Joseph.

The next day, Joseph waited at their usual hang-out spot, he brought a mix tape he spent the night pouring over, trying to find all of Meli's favorite songs that he knew of. But Melissa wasn’t there.  He didn’t really talk with any of Melissa’s friends, but one of them did say that Melissa didn’t show up to school that day. He skipped the rest of the day altogether and went straight to her house, trying to climb up to her window, but… she was gone.  And there were no signs of life in her room at all. He heard shouting from a neighbor who caught him peeking in the window and he ran off.

He left town shortly after that, never getting to apologize to one of the few friends he had in that god forsaken town.

But they’d meet again years later when Joseph just got started in his new role as Sunny Day Jack. 

After receiving her high school diploma, Melissa decided to get into culinary school, much to her parents' continued disapproval, and promptly cut her off from any financial support, quoting that ‘if she wanted to make it, she’d have to pay her own way.’  Being isolated, she eventually met a young man who became her boyfriend.  He was a senior at the school who was going into restaurant management and tended to get his way with his charms and charisma.  And with how isolated and lonely Melissa had grown over the last couple of years, the two started dating just after a few weeks of knowing each other. 

Unfortunately, Melissa was forced to drop out of culinary school just after a year when her finances ran dry and the scholarship money just couldn’t cut it.  Around this time, her boyfriend made the surprising move and… proposed to her out of the blue.  It was a shock to Melissa because they hadn’t even vocally entertained the idea of marriage yet, but boyfriend’s pitch made it sound like it would solve most of their problems.  He’d get a good-paying job managing several restaurants, and help pay for Melissa to get back into culinary school so she could pursue her dream.  As surprising as it was, it sounded… perfect at the time. 

With seemingly no other options or support, Melissa accepted his proposal and moved in with her now fiance.  Finally, things would be okay in the end, she just had to keep working to save up money for the wedding and school, and her fiance would help with the rest!  Sadly, it slowly became evident that it was too good to be true.  

The first year was relatively blissful until tragedy befell them as her fiance  ‘lost his job’ managing his first restaurant due to ‘office politics bullshit.’  Melissa and her fiance traveled a few states, with his lackluster hold on keeping a stable job putting more strain on their relationship.  Eventually, they ended up in El Paso, and Melisa landed a job as a secretary assistant for the LambsWork Studios.  She worked closely with the director and producer on their newest children’s program: The Sunny Time Show.

___

A tentative knock at the door brought Jospeph out of his dozing.  Grumbling, he called out he’d be there in a second, scrubbing the sleep from his face as he opened the door to see a woman around his age, with wavey chestnut hair. Sleep still plagued him, but there was something about he curve of her face that seemed so familiar to him...

A pan of deja vu washed over him when he heard her voice. Even if it was just his name. An odd sense of nostalgia that tugged at the strings of his memories. 

“Joseph Haberdae?”

“Yeah?”  Confusion swept his face when he heard her voice. ‘It couldn’t be…’

“Hi!  The director said you needed a copy of the revised script?”  She shuffled the stack of papers in her arms before pulling out one that was bound by a massive paper clip.  “I’ve also highlighted the portions that were changed, you’ll find them in Scene 6 and Scene 11–”

“...Meli?”

“Huh?”  Her eyes flicked to his face as she handed him the script, and now the woman got a good look at the famous host of the Sunnytime Show. “Yeah, that’s what my friends call me.  Have we–?”

The words died on her lips as she came to face with the boy whom Meli had once known.  Except, he wasn’t a boy anymore.  His short hair was now full mullet that swept to the side and a piercing adorned his left brow, just above his beauty mark. No longer was he the tall, scrappy kid who picked fights, but a man who held a very imposing silhouette adorned with partially covered tattoos across his hard muscles. 

And yet, his eyes still remained the same.  That warm, yet cool brown that held back that fire in his soul. They saw right into her with shock and recognition. 

Her friend.  The one who used to bum smokes off of her. The one who had the most breathtaking smile when he finally allowed himself to laugh.  The boy who traded mixtapes of his favorite songs with her.  The boy who wore his heart on his sleeve, and all the anger and passion that came with it. 

Her old friend.

Her…

TO BE CONTINUED...

[stanestreet]

Ann Goldstein knows the works of Elena Ferrante intimately – perhaps more than anyone else in the English-speaking world – but she doesn’t have any great desire to meet her. Goldstein is the literary translator who has brought the Italian author’s novels, most famously the Neapolitan Quartet, to Anglophone audiences. In English, like in the original Italian, they have become bestsellers. Ferrante is beloved for her truthful depictions of adolescent friendship and the pains of womanhood. But “Elena Ferrante” is a pseudonym: the identity of the author is not known to the public, despite numerous attempts to discover her.

Goldstein communicates with Ferrante via her Italian publisher. “It doesn’t really bother me, not to speak to her directly,” she said over Zoom from her book-laden apartment in Greenwich Village, New York City. “The person who writes the books is the person I know, whoever that person is, the consciousness that’s writing the books is someone that I have a dialogue with.” She giggled, as she did frequently, despite being about to say something she must have insisted many times before. “And – by the way – I don’t know who she is. And it’s not me.”

Goldstein was born in 1949 and grew up in New Jersey. She has been translating Italian literature into English since the early 1990s and spent the bulk of her career working in the copy department at the New Yorker, which she joined in 1974. In the late 1980s she became the head of the department, overseeing copyediting and proof-reading. She had studied ancient Greek at university, and can read French “pretty well”, but it was with New Yorker colleagues that she first learned Italian. Over three successive years the group read the trio of books comprising Dante’s Divine Comedy. Goldstein was in her late thirties at the time; it is more difficult to learn a language later in life. “You don’t get the same facility, the same kind of fluency, as if you were a child,” she said, “but you can do something.”

She retired from the magazine in 2017 and has since pursued translation. She still abides by the many grammatical rules instilled in her by four decades at the New Yorker (“things like the serial comma or the Oxford comma – nobody seems to use that any more, which is ridiculous, because it’s so clarifying”). The two halves of her career are distinct yet overlapping. “I do think that proofreading, copy-editing, editing, they have to do with an attention to detail, and of course translation is all about attention to detail. It’s attention to particular words, to sentences, and how words work in a sentence. It’s about getting everything as right as you can, or what you think of as right, from the way the word is spelled – and we might have a difference of opinion about that,” that amused her, “to the way it’s used.”

Goldstein spoke knowingly about her own language (“spelled” could of course be “spelt”) and regularly corrected herself, as though always in pursuit of the most precise way of conveying her meaning. She wore a grey V-neck jumper, dangly silver earrings and thick-rimmed glasses – above which her eyebrows often appeared, jumping up in excitement as she furrowed her brow in concentration and then quickly released it.

Her most recent translation is of Forbidden Notebook by Alba de Céspedes. First published in Italy in the 1950s, the novel comprises a series of diary entries by Valeria Cossati, who secretly writes of her deep dissatisfaction with her life in post-war Rome. “I was struck by the fact that it seems – it’s a little bit cliché to say this – but it seems so contemporary. It seems like she’s dealing with the same problems that women have now, or have had since then. This was 70 years ago. The daily struggles are different, but the psychological struggles are so similar.”

The book is also being republished in Italy, where it has been out of print for decades. It marks a “rediscovery”, a reassertion of an author who was successful in her lifetime, but whom the patriarchal cultural memory has forgotten. It was in Ferrante’s Frantumaglia, a collection of letters, essays and interviews that Goldstein translated into English, that she first learnt of de Céspedes, whose life was remarkable by any standard – and of particular interest to the translator, who is fascinated by wartime and postwar Italy.

De Céspedes was the granddaughter of Carlos Manuel de Céspedes, who led Cuba’s revolt for independence from Spain and then served as its first president. She was born in Rome, married when she was 15 and had a child aged 17. In 1943 she and her second husband fled to escape the Nazis’ occupation of the capital. “So they spent a month hiding in the woods in Abruzzo!” Goldstein explained, wide-eyed. “She wrote a diary – there’s a little diary that I translated that I’m trying to get published. It’s amazing. I don’t know how she wrote it, but she did, just about being in the woods, and they were slowly being more and more closely surrounded by the Germans. It’s pretty dramatic. She had a wild life!”

Goldstein’s enthusiasm for her authors – and for her part in the “rediscovery” project of an author such as de Céspedes – is evident. The thematic similarity between Forbidden Notebook and many of Ferrante’s works is, she said, a coincidence. “But I do like novels about women – I guess. Though not exclusively. I have done a lot more [books by] women, especially first person narrator women. There’s something about it that is particularly congenial.” She stopped herself. “But I’m always interested in anything!”

She could not, however, explain exactly what she looks for in literature she might translate. She prefers books that are set in Italy, but beyond that – “I don’t really look for anything. Most books, even if they ostensibly don’t seem interesting, end up being interesting for one reason or another, either for translation issues or language issues.”

She doesn’t see herself as a writer as such – “I mean, I’m not writing anything of my own” – and aligns herself instead with the critic Cesare Garboli, who wrote: “To translate is to be an actor.” “The actor is performing,” Goldstein said. “It’s only once, it’s his own personal performance, and nobody else can do the same thing.” Translation is also, she said, “a puzzle. You’re solving puzzles all the time. But in order to solve them, you have to interpret.” And of course there is never just one answer.

For a long time those critiquing the publishing industry spoke of the “3 per cent problem” – that just 3 per cent of books sold in English were in translation. (The statistic has been cited for both the UK and the US.) In the 30 years Goldstein has been translating, she has seen that number grow. “There’s definitely more openness to translations,” she said, citing the proliferation of small presses, including New Directions and Archipelago Books in the US, as leading the charge. “The Ferrante phenomenon” – as she described it – has helped translators receive the credit they deserve. “Because there’s no author, it made people more aware of the fact that there’s a translator involved in the book.”

Goldstein has a personal fascination with Italian culture, but also sees a moral pursuit in reading in translation. “It opens you up to other cultures. We’re all very – well, especially in America – we’re so inward-facing, we’re so solipsistic,” she punctuated her pause with a laugh. “Or, what’s the word! I mean, that’s one word. People don’t attend to other cultures. They don’t pay attention, and they don’t want to learn anything. They don’t want to understand how other people might think, how their neighbours might think. It’s just, the more you know, the better it is. The broader your sense of the world – it can’t help but make you a better person.”

“Forbidden Notebook”, by Alba de Céspedes and translated by Ann Goldstein, is published by Pushkin Press

[transmascutena]

Never got around telling you that I watched the transfeminism in utena essay and loved it!

Today I finally rewatched Adolescence and loved it as well, I think it's one of my favorite movies, it's visually stunning and so amazingly haunting/hypnotizing, felt like I was in a trance while watching it.

(and oh my god Anthy is my favorite character in anime of all time, I adore that she gets so much more dialogue and screen time in this, specially towards the end. Hearing her say the "Give me the power to revolutionize the world!" line made me tear up)

Just wondering your thoughts on it, or your favorite thing about it (?) Idk! If you have any rant about aou I'd love to read it

sure, i'll rant a bit about aou! this is mostly just my thoughts on various parts i like and dislike, not really any analysis.

i have mixed feelings on adolescence that change every time i watch it but mostly they're positive. i think my favorite thing about it is anthy. i love that we get to see her be more free and more forward. i love that it's her narrative, that we get to see what her and ohtori are like without akio (though still haunted by him.) i love the reading of the movie as a sequel, in that the show is about anthy escaping her abuse, while the movie is about the lingering trauma from it. i love the "we were together in killing the prince" line from utena at the end. i love that they're both free and together now. i also love the visuals of it, of course, it's a gorgeous movie. and i appreciate that we get to see utena and anthy in a much more explicitly romantic relationship, even though i do prefer the subtlety of the show by a lot. all their scenes together are very good, but i especially like the bedroom scene, the dance scene, and the drawing scene (i want to write some proper analysis of them sometime). i love the layers of metaphor and symbolism in every part of the movie, and that it feels even more abstract than the show. i love the car scene, it's silly and it's symbolic and it's emotionally impactful <3

on the other hand i think pretty much every part of the movie that isn't about anthy and utena is .. not very good in comparison (to the parts that are about them, and to the show.) which makes sense when you read the movie as anthy's narrative. of course she's not really focused on any of the other characters. saionji especially lacks literally all of his depth, which i think is just funny when thinking about it through that interpretation. uh, i hate the nanami cow scene which i've talked about before. i think it's unnecessary and uncomfortable and purposeless. i do however like that she doesn't appear in ohtori, because of the implication that she escaped. i appreciate touga's backstory reveal, though i don't really care for his role in the movie very much. it's never felt all that coherent to me, though i do understand what it's saying about the themes of the prince being dead. shiori has a weird antagonistic role that i don't know how to feel about. she's lacking a lot of her depth too, and i'm not sure i fully understand her motivations. or maybe i do and they're just not that interesting to me. hmm what else . akio is a far less interesting character than in the show also, but i think it works. he's not very intimidating, incredibly pathetic even, because anthy has already left/has already made the choice to leave him. also i like that he kills himself :)

i don't want to directly compare it to the show when talking about what i like about it, because obviously i like the show more. but i don't think the movie is trying to like.. compete with the show in terms of which you like better. because it isn't just a retelling of the same story. if it was, a 39 episode long tv series would always beat it in how developed its characters and themes are. which is why i think the movie works much much better when read as either a literal sequel to the show or as a continuation of its themes. it doesn't stand very well on its own in my opinion, aside from how pretty it is.

[crossdressingdeath]

Narrator: *With a start, the spell knits your mind together - just about long enough for you to recall a single image.* Narrator: *A little Urge - not even an adolescent - stands with a tiny dagger atop a bloody heap. Narrator: *Two-bedroom cottage. Relative squalor. Poor part of the city. Indiscriminate whole-family kill. Baby's first murder spree.* Kyvir: Shudder. Might that family have taken you in? Narrator: *Words creep from the darkness...* Sceleritas Fel: Young Master, precious fledgling, follow ever your heart. In time, your true family will find you.

I did manage to hit level 11 before going up against Orin, so more on this dialogue! The way the writing paints such a strong image of Durge being young and tiny and alone still hurts so much, yes.

It's interesting how when Durge hears Sceleritas's voice they look around anxiously (side note, love me some solid animated body language, good attention to detail there); you get the opportunity to respond with fear every time he comes up, but this seems to suggest that even if they don't openly freak out when he shows up they're still scared of him. Which... is fair enough. The murder butler is a lot to take in. Regardless of what their relationship with him was before Durge has no memory of Sceleritas and so any positive feelings they might have had towards him are gone, which leaves just this creepy thing that turns up and orders them to kill. I also like that unless you get the failure ending of the quest Sceleritas's assurance that you'll find your true family if you follow your heart does eventually come true; either you serve Bhaal loyally and find your place at his side, or you reject Bhaal and create a new family with your party! Whichever path you choose, as long as you don't fuck it up completely you follow your heart and find the people you want to call family along the way.

Also: I wonder if it would technically be possible to restore Durge's whole memory just by repeatedly casting Heal on them? I mean, it'd be slow as hell, but if they didn't have anything else to do for a few weeks...

[sassygwaine]

parts of “unmasking autism” by devon price, phd that made me go oof

I do think when allistic people declare that everyone is a little Autistic, it means they are close to making an important breakthrough about how mental disorders are defined: why do we declare some people broken, and others perfectly normal, when they exhibit the same traits? Where do we draw the line, and why do we even bother doing so? (32)

All too often, the difference between who gets perceived as an innocent, shy Autistic and who gets viewed as creepy, awkward, and obviously disabled is more a function of things like race, gender, and body size than it is any innate difference in personality or behavior. (57)

I was basically a perpetual adolescent, performing intelligence for praise but mismanaging my personal life and not connecting with anyone in a deeper way. (85)

Once you’ve proven yourself capable of suffering in silence, neurotypical people tend to expect you’ll be able to do it forever, no matter the cost. (99)

When the entire world shames people for being into “childish” things, having odd mannerisms, or simply being irritating, you don’t need ABA to program you into compliance. Everyone around you is already doing it. (102)

Unfortunately, when an Autistic person complains about the sensory pain they’re in, people think they’re being overly dramatic, needy, or even downright “crazy.” … They acted as if I chose to be distracted and furious every day. (115)

We often seek out clear “rules” for good behavior, which we then adhere to rigidly, hoping they will keep us socially safe and finally render us worthy. (121)

When many of us were growing up, adults saw us as loud, stubborn, uncaring, overly reactive, and burdensome. We’ve grown up believing we truly are hard to be around, and to love. (144)

Today, his fiction readers tell him he’s fantastic at writing dialogue, and really understands how other people speak and feel. But it’s not because these things come naturally to him. He devoted thousands of hours to picking conversations apart to make sense of them. (161)

We’re more like the protagonist of the video game Katamari Damacy, a freaky, colorful demigod who rolls an ever-growing ball of objects around, each step forward attracting more random items into his ball’s expanding gravitational field until it engulfs the universe. We don’t complete discrete projects. We build worlds. (178)

It’s vital we learn to navigate interactions marked by conflict, and practice standing firm in the face of negative reactions from others. As long as we haven’t abused anyone or violated their rights, it’s okay for our actions to make others unhappy. (193)

At times, unmasking means teaching our neurotypical friends and family to treat us better; in other situations, it may mean disengaging from those who aren’t ever going to be worth the effort. (195)

[regarding friendships worth cultivating:] Who tells me honestly when I’ve hurt them, and gives me a real opportunity to do better? (205)

“I am not a math-minded type of Autistic…I am the kind who thinks about people obsessively.” (219)

In his writing, [Mike] Oliver described disability as a political status, one that is created by the systems that surround us, not our minds and bodies. (230)

Emotions that are too large, passions that are too childish and not profitable, habits that are too repetitive, and bodies and minds that require daily assistance all challenge this incredibly narrow definition of health. It is only by expanding our definition of what is acceptable human behavior and working to meet other people’s manifold needs that we can move forward. (233)

From the Tuskegee Syphilis Study, to Hans Asperger’s research on “high-functioning” Autistics, to the forced lobotomies performed on gay people and communists, immense violence has been done in the name of science and “protecting” the public. (247)

We all deserve to take a step back and ask whether our lives line up with our values, whether the work we do and the face we show to others reflects our genuine self, and if not, what we might want to change. (250)

[inkingtwice]

Thanks to @theaggresivepacifist for the tag!

Twenty Questions

How many works do you have on AO3?

20

What's your total AO3 word count

241,695...? Oh fuck me.

What fandoms do you write for

Batman, Daredevil, X-Men, Stranger/Secret Forest, Umbrella Academy, Shadow and Bone / Six of Crows, Sandman.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. nonlinear theory for dummies

2. a million little gods causing rainstorms

3. lookout

4. breath mark

5. nothing ill come near thee

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

If I'm paying attention, definitely.

What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

For ones I've actually posted, probably make less the depth, but the end of solve for x wins overall; pity I can't get the middle sorted.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Maybe i once was lost? I'm not really sure; I think that's probably best left for readers to decide.

Do you get hate on fics?

Not so far.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

On occasion, and character-driven. Fine with the concept of PWP, but really don't see a point to PWCD (porn without character development).

Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Not so far, though I do sometimes blend different versions of canon.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope.

What's your all-time favorite ship?

Shipping isn't really my thing, but I suppose it would be nice to see Kaz and Inej find their way forward.

What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Oof, there are several in limbo. Probably solve for x, or until our city be afire.

What are your writing strengths?

Again, probably a question best left to readers, but characterization and voice are the things I feel most confident about.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Oh, plot, definitely.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

If I don't know the language, no, with the exception of words that don't really translate. But I do catch myself unconsciously mimicking speech patterns a lot.

First fandom you wrote for?

I'm skipping adolescent scribbling for the sake of personal dignity, so...Batman.

Favorite fic you've written?

Either lookout or the years since we were born, I think? But I also love i once was lost.