#how did i not do this sooner i do not understand
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Their Eyes, Your Chains
Yandere Agatha & Rio Headcanons
Agatha Harkness x Rio Vidal x Gender Neutral Reader
AO3: Their Eyes, Your Chains
Word Count: 1K
Warnings: Possessive/obsessive behavior, yandere, manipulation, threats, stalking, jealousy
| Agatha
Agatha first discovered you on the outskirts of Westview. The instant her eyes landed on you, something primal stirred deep within her â an insatiable hunger that she couldnât quite place. You looked so fragile, so misplaced in a world that would sooner consume you than offer kindness. At that moment, she knew she had to have you. You were perfect.
To ensure your safety â and her claim on you â Agatha placed a magical sigil on you, visible only to her. It would flare up if you strayed too far from her or if someone with ill intent approached you. You were hers and she would not tolerate anyone or anything that dared to threaten that bond.
Agatha controlled every aspect of your life â where you went, who you spoke to, and how long you stayed away from her. She masked her actions as âprotection,â but the truth was clear: her obsessive need to keep you close drove her every move.
She was territorial. To Agatha, you belonged to her, and she allowed no one else to get too close to you.
Despite her possessive nature, Agatha showered you with attention, gifts, and affection, but her love still felt suffocating.
When you pushed back against her control, she alternated between cold fury and honeyed words, making you feel guilty for wanting freedom. âYou donât understand, darling. I do this because I love you. No one else will protect you the way I can.â
If you ever did manage to leave her, Agatha would go to terrifying lengths to bring you back. She would track you across the ends of the earth, twisting reality itself to prevent your escape. She might even cast a powerful spell to trap you in a dreamlike illusion, where you were blissfully happy and unaware of her manipulations, ensuring you would never wish to leave her side again.
Agathaâs most severe threat was to bind you to her permanently with a soul-link spell, tethering your life force to hers so escape would be impossible. âYou are mine.â Yet, unbeknownst to you, she had already decided to cast it the moment she met you.
She frequently called you terms of endearment like âdarling,â âmy love,â or âpet.â
Agatha wanted you, and she would stop at nothing to ensure that you were entirely, irrevocably hers.
| Rio
As the personification of death, Rio saw you as someone destined to be hers. All living things would inevitably belong to her in the end, but she didnât want to wait for that â she wanted you now and forever. Her obsession with you felt timeless, as if it had always existed, lying dormant until the moment it could finally flourish.
Rio preyed on your fear of mortality to keep you dependent on her, constantly reminding you how fleeting your life was and how frail you were compared to her eternal nature. âTheyâll all leave you eventually. But me? Iâll always be here. Isnât that what you want â someone whoâll always be here for you?â Her words burrowed into your mind, twisting your emotions until you could no longer tell if remaining by her side was truly your choice or hers.
When she was in a particularly indulgent mood, Rio could be achingly sweet with you, though her sweetness was always laced with a dangerous possessiveness. She would hold you as if you were the most fragile thing in the world, her hands cold but her touch inexplicably soothing. Yet in the same breath, she would whisper unsettling things like, âYou're mine, sweetheart... forever and always. No one else can ever have you.â
Rio doesnât tolerate anyone getting too close to you. She was convinced that she alone was worthy of being by your side. After all, she was inevitable, eternal â the one destined to claim your soul in the end.
If she perceived anyone as a threat to her claim over you, they had simply disappeared. When you confronted her about it, Rioâs dark eyes narrowed, and her voice carried a chilling warning: âI donât like sharing. Do I need to remind you what happens when people overstep?â
If you dared to defy her, Rio would turn volatile. She would threaten to bring death to those you love or cause harm to innocent people, showing you the lengths she would go to keep you bound to her. She would make you feel like you were the one in the wrong, insisting that only you could âend her lonelinessâ or that no one else could ever understand her the way you do.
In extreme circumstances, Rio would remind you in a low, bone-chilling voice that no mortal can escape death â and by extension, her.
No matter how far you fled, no matter how cleverly you tried to hide, Rio would always find you.Â
She didnât just crave your love â it was deeper, darker than that. Rio demanded every piece of you, body and soul.
To her, you were the flickering light in an eternal void. You were her meaning, her obsession, her undoing.
| Agatha & Rio
God help you.
Agatha and Rio had both claimed you as their own. Neither of them could imagine a reality where you belonged to anyone but them, and each had made it clear that you were theirs and theirs alone. âYou belong to me, just as you belong to her.â They would whisper, almost in sync.
Agathaâs possessiveness was passionate and fiery. She would often press herself against you, her hands grazing your arms or waist to remind you of her presence. Rio, on the other hand, had a more subtle approach â she would lean in close, her breath warm against your ear as she murmured soft, possessory words or let her fingers lightly trace the back of your neck.
Both Agatha and Rio were quick to notice any tiny change in your behavior. If you were quieter than usual, Agathaâs gaze sharpened, and she would press you for answers, âWhatâs wrong? Tell me.â Rio, however, will casually drape an arm around your shoulder, murmuring, âWho upset you? Just say the word.â Neither will rest until they know whatâs troubling you and how to make it right.
Together, Agatha and Rio were a constant reminder that no matter where you go or what you do, you belonged to them and theyâll ensure that it stayed that way, forever.
#agatha harkness x reader#agatha harkness x you#agatha harkness#agatha all along#rio vidal x reader#rio vidal#rio vidal x you#agathario#agatha x rio#agatha harkness x rio vidal x reader#agatha all along fanfic#marvel
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Daily Vibe Check 11/28
Seunghan
7 of Wands + 2 of Pentacles + Hyerophant
It appears that maybe some sort of negotiations have started. He is taking a firm but flexible approach and being smart about it. But all these signs point to "work" or something related to the matter. Also an emphasis on paper so maybe contracts. He is not being difficult or defiant but very calm and mature. As stated many times before, he understands his situation well and at this point is at a place where he takes everything very well for what it is. This may be the beginning of or the early talks of something significant that has already been brewing with upper management and is just now getting to him. He is doing well, though, regardless. His energy is very bright and goofy today.
Was he at the park with Eunseok and Wonbin?
The Emperor + Knave of Swords [8 of Wands- extra verification]
This is a yes- and specifically, I do think he may have instigated the contact via Wonbin, and Eunseok was also available to tag along. Very energetic and exciteable vibes. The page is kinda childlike, which is funny when you take in the photos. It seems Wonbin took the pics for Seunghan's update. Separately, it seems they may have also had a long chat about everything, though, in a lighthearted, less heavy manner.
Sungchan
The Moon + 7 of Chalices [10 of Chalices - relation to recent news of SM conspiracies investigations]
Today, we are reading on Sungchan since it's been a while. He is sitting in this cloudy, confusing, maybe scattered energy. Like "idk what to think" vibes. Very weird so I did ask if it was recent news about SM's bot buying and or the national assembly being interested in Seunghan's case weighing on his mind and got the 10 of Chalices for a yes. It seems family is a big theme- whether he believes this is referring to SM fam or Riize in particular (I think both) it seems he is a bit concerned about what sort of things vould come out if it were this bad for his own group. I think he is deeply curious and interested in seeing how it plays out. This is taking up a large space in his brain like hyperfixation. Very virgo of him, lol.
Recent SM News (the bot buying to spread internal rumors)
Knave of Pentacles + The High Priestess [Ace of Wands - results]
It seems that there may be validity to the rumors. Whatever the truth is- it is going to get found out at some point- I think sooner than expected despite these cards due to the Ace of Wands I pulled for the results of the Assembly's investigation (which btw is on SM's practices as a whole, not specifically Seunghan's case- though this is the catalyst for everything about to happen). It seems that even without the investigation, a lot will be known and revealed by chance. But with this development, it will allow the opportunity to make some corrections/a new path. This will be SM's last chance to not be even more embarrassed.
Will this development raise the chances of Seunghan returning?
Strength + 5 of Pentacles
So YES, it is going to take us over several more public hurdles of perception and acceptance in particular- however I think we will have to be realistic and monitor our expectations eith this because a lot of things may just not be 100% in regards to Riize. As in this investigation is looking into allll of SM not just Riize- and if we are annoyed and all fussy because they start talking about things that are not immediately in correlation to Riize and give us validation, we may miss the facts and may miss points that ARE in correlation that we should be looking into ourselves. It's like stepping over and ignoring a platinum mine because your map said you should be looking for a gold mine and you weren't aware of the value. So be mindful as things may start to come out, even if it seems for a second that nothing is setting our purpose- it def is.
Final Notes:
I remember for the past, like week or so, I have been saying I am waiting for something significant (not the week thing, but something else). It's like a feeling that something is going to blow up or CLICK. I almost thought it was here, but noo, it's like a prequel. Something crazy is coming idk but you heard it here first. It will be a click* feeling.
Other than that, I want to remind yall that Riize said Riize is 7, and that is all the motivation you should need. Thank you.
#astrology#kpop#tarot#riize is 7#riize#riize is seven#smsupportsbullying#seunghan#anton#eunseok#sungchan#shotaro#sohee#wonbin#bring back seunghan
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đžđđđĽđŠđđ§ 02, đ˝đđŠđŠđđ§ đđ¨ đ¨đŠđ§đđŁđđđ§đ¨
âSome things are better left unsaid.â
rosieâs note: hi :), sooo donât yell at me yâall know iâm sensitive, but yes apologies this was supposed to come out wayyy sooner but iâve had a lot going on with my personal life i barely had time to write but luckily i finished this up! ik almost people were confused on the cliffhanger so i hope i explained it well in this chapter :) happy reading lovelies đ
pairing: Paige x Azzi
themes: hurt/comfort, guilt, angst
enjoy!!!
march 21, 2014
The cursor blinked at me, expectant. Judging.
Her name sat on the tip of my tongue. Not the one she introduced herself with, not the nickname she had tossed at me under the swing set like it was armor. Her real name. The one sheâd trusted me with just days before everything shattered.
I hovered over the keyboard. How many times had I visited this account in the past two months? More than I could count. The anonymity she clung to should have been enough to keep me from connecting the dots. But the usernameâUnicornPuppy35âwas a clue I couldnât ignore, not after that rainy night, not after the slippers and the shirt that practically screamed it.
Azzi.
The realization should have made me stop, made me put down my phone and walk away. She didnât know it was me. She didnât know I was the one lurking, soaking up every word she wrote, piecing together her sadness, her anger, her loneliness. And she couldnât find outânot like this.
If she did⌠God, if she ever found out, I wasnât sure what would happen. Sheâd hate me more than she already did, and I couldnât stand to see that look on her face again.
I leaned back in my chair, running a hand over my face. The memory of her tears still burned, sharp as glass.
flashback ⤠february 13, 2013
The rain came down hard that night, the kind of downpour that soaked through your skin and left you raw.
I didnât know why I left the house. Maybe it was the yelling, or maybe it was the silence that followed. Either way, I ended up at the park. The swings creaked under the weight of the wind, and the only other person there was huddled on one, head bowed as rain dripped from her curls and onto her bright pink unicorn shirt.
I almost walked away. She looked like she wanted to be alone, and honestly, so did I. But something stopped meâa tilt of her head, maybe, or the way her shoulders shuddered even as she sat still.
âHey,â I said, stepping closer. The ground squelched under my shoes.
She looked up, startled. Her eyes, wide and brown, met my baby blues for half a second before darting away. âWhat do you want?â
I hesitated, shrugging. âNothing. Just⌠didnât think anyone else would be out here.â
Her laugh was bitter, like she didnât believe me. She didnât say anything else, just looked back down at her feet, the tips of her sneakers brushing the muddy ground.
I shouldâve walked away. Instead, I sat on the swing next to her.
Over the next two weeks, those nights at the park became a ritual. When the lights in our houses went out, we met under the cover of darkness, sharing pieces of ourselves with kind of fully unraveling almost everything.
She told me about the girl at schoolâthe one who dunked her head in the toilet and called her the f-slur. Her voice cracked when she said it, and my chest ached with something I didnât quite understand.
âSheâs just a bitch,â I said, reaching out without thinking. My hand landed on her shoulder, the fabric of her hoodie rough and wet under my palm. âYou didnât deserve that.â
She didnât pull away, but she didnât look at me either. âItâs not just her,â she muttered. âItâs⌠everyone.â
The night Azzi told me about the girl at school, something in her broke. Her voice cracked, a sharp edge slicing through the usual monotone she used when talking about her day.
âI didnât even do anything,â she said, hugging her knees to her chest. Her breath came out in shivers, her curls dripping rainwater down her back. âShe justâshe said I was looking at her skirt, and the next thing I know, Iâmââ
Her voice wavered, and she stopped. She didnât have to finish. I could picture it: the cold porcelain, the laughter, the humiliation.
âShe has to be insecure or something,â I said quickly, fumbling for the right words. âYou didnât do anything wrong, Azzi. Sheâs just taking her misery out on you.â
Azzi didnât look convinced. Her lip trembled, and she pressed her face into her knees, hiding the tears I knew were falling.
I sat there, helpless. I wasnât good at thisâcomforting people, saying the right thing. But I didnât want her to feel alone.
âYou wanna egg her house?â I joked, my voice soft. âOr, I donât know, slash her parents tires?â
She huffed a wet laugh, the sound muffled by her hoodie. âSheâd probably call the cops.â
âSheâs a snitch, too?â I gasped dramatically, hoping to coax another laugh out of her. âThatâs it. Weâre definitely egging her house.â
Azzi peeked up at me, her eyes red and puffy but lighter somehow. âYouâre stupid,â she said, but there was a ghost of a smile on her face.
ââ-
A few nights later, thatâs when things fell apart.
I was at the park first, waiting for Azzi, when a group of girls from my neighborhood showed up. I didnât know them well, but they were loud and funny in that kind of way that made you want to laugh along just to fit in.
We were sitting on the picnic table, their chatter filling the silence, when one of them asked, âHey, Paige, why do you always hang out with that girl?â
I blinked, caught off guard. âWho?â
âYou know, that Azzi girl,â she said, wrinkling her nose. âNobody hangs out with her.â
My stomach twisted. âWhy not?â
The girl snorted. âHer momâs, like, weird. Always with a new boyfriend or whatever. Itâs embarrassing. Sheâs just a weirdo and looks weird.â
My jaw tightened. Before I could respond, another girl chimed in, laughing. âAnd her hair! Itâs like, doesnât she know what a brush is?â
The table erupted in laughter, but I couldnât bring myself to join in. I glanced at the path leading to the swings, my heart sinking.
âPaige,â a voice said behind me.
I froze.
Azzi stood there, her face pale and her eyes glassy with unshed tears. Her mouth opened, then closed, and she shook her head, stepping back as if Iâd physically struck her.
âAzzi, waitââ I started, scrambling off the table, but she was already turning away.
âDonât,â she said quietly, her voice trembling. âJust⌠donât.â
I ran after her, catching her arm as she reached the edge of the park. âAzzi, I wasnâtââ
âWasnât what?â she snapped, whirling around. Her eyes were brimming with tears, her voice rising in anger. âWasnât laughing at me? Wasnât sitting there while they trashed me?â
âI didnât say anything!â I protested, my chest tight.
âThatâs the problem!â she shouted, her voice breaking. âYou just sat there, Paige. You didnât even try to stop them, you let them say those things.â
I opened my mouth to argue, but the words stuck in my throat.
âForget it,â she muttered, yanking her arm free. She wiped at her face angrily, her curls sticking to her cheeks. âI shouldâve known better.â
âAzzi, come on,â I pleaded, my voice softer now. âItâs not like thatââ
âWhatâs it like, then?â she asked, her eyes narrowing. âBecause from where Iâm standing, itâs pretty clear. I just donât understand after all those nights I cried to you P.. how could you?â
She didnât wait for an answer. By the time I found the words, she was already gone.
present day 2014
Itâs been weeks since Azzi and I started talking online, just the two of us, anonymously. Weâve gotten comfortableâwell, as comfortable as we can with the fake names and hidden identities. I try not to think about the lies Iâm keeping from her, but I know deep down itâs the only way I can stay connected to her. She has to trust me, or sheâll leave. And I canât handle that. Not again.
Itâs the last day of school, and Iâm practically buzzing with excitement as I head to the bus. I canât wait to get home, and send Azzi a messageâanything really. I donât care if itâs about her puppy or the weather or something ridiculous. I just want to talk to her.
I find a seat on the bus and pull out my phone. As the bus rumbles on, I open up Blogspot. I scroll through the messages Azzi and I exchanged earlier, just before school started. I canât help but laugh at the part where she told me her dog, Stewie, peed in her shoe. That imageâher tiny, brown wiener dog peeing in her brand new sneakersâwas so perfectly her. Her humor, her frustration, her charm.
I giggle, but then it hits me. The guilt. It crashes over me, sudden and sharp, like a wave I didnât see coming. My thumb freezes over the screen, hovering over the keyboard. I look at the conversation, at the funny banter we shared this morning, and my chest tightens. I donât deserve this. I donât deserve her.
If she knew who I really was, if she knew the truth about why I was pretending to be someone else⌠she would never look at me the same way again. Sheâd leave me. She would never trust me again.
I feel the tightness in my chest grow, and I look out the window, trying to distract myself. But itâs no use. The guilt is like a weight on my shoulders, pressing down harder the longer I sit with it. Every word Iâve typed to Azzi, every moment Iâve shared with herâitâs all a lie. And I hate myself for it.
But I canât stop. I canât let her go again. It pained me the first timeâŚit wonât happen again.
I stare at the phone in my hand, biting my lip. What if she finds out? What if she figures it out before I can come clean?
What if? What if? What if?
The thought is too much. I set the phone down on my lap, staring out the window, hoping the weight in my chest will ease.
A few minutes later, my phone vibrates in my lap. A new message.
unicornpuppy35: p, i just got home and stewieâs tryna eat my shoelace again. i swear this dogâs scheming.
I smile, but it doesnât reach my eyes. My thumb hovers over the screen again. I want to reply, want to send something funny, something comforting, but all I can think about is how this isnât real. None of it is real.
boogers_p: obviously. stewieâs prolly like, âshoelaces are phase one. world dominationâs next.â
unicornpuppy35: no fr, this little dude really thinks he runs the place.
boogers_p: i mean⌠does he not? u literally pay rent in shoelaces and snacks.
unicornpuppy35: and socks. donât forget the socks. he got one of mine this morning smh.
I bit my lip, trying not to laugh too loud as I typed back.
boogers_p: rip to the sock. gone but not forgotten.
The typing bubble popped up and disappeared a few times before finally settling on:
unicornpuppy35: ur so ridiculous, p. u know that?
boogers_p: iâve heard rumors.
I paused, smirking at the screen. Then, a thought hit me, and her fingers flew over the keyboard.
boogers_p: ok, real question. whatâs stewie short for? or did u just look at him and go, âyup, thatâs a stewieâ?
There was a pause before Azziâs response came through.
unicornpuppy35: named him after breanna stewart.
I blinked at the screen, my smile softening. Of course she did.
boogers_p: oh damn, respect. stewieâs a legend fr but no surprise you chose her.
unicornpuppy35: p, language. and duhh, hence the name.
boogers_p: my bad my bad, but u really said, âlemme name my dog after greatness.â iconic move, puppy.
I knew the nickname would get to her. It always did. The reply came fast.
unicornpuppy35: stop calling me that!!!
boogers_p: nah. it fits too good. also, itâs cute. like u.
Shit. There was a long pause before I saw the typing bubble flicker again.
unicornpuppy35: u really know how to get on my nerves, huh?
boogers_p: talent, tbh.
Azziâs response came slower this time:
unicornpuppy35: sometimes i wonder why i even talk to u.
Paige snorted, her thumbs moving fast.
boogers_p: cuz iâm funny. and charming. and u lowkey love me. just admit it.
The reply took a moment.
unicornpuppy35: âŚmaybe stewie loves u. thatâs as close as ur getting.
I barked out a laugh, the sound drawing a curious glance from the kid across the aisle.
boogers_p: iâll take it. tell stewie iâm his #1 fan.
unicornpuppy35: heâll probably steal another shoelace to celebrate.
boogers_p: a king. truly.
I stared at the screen for a second longer, my chest feeling warm and tight in a way I couldnât even describe.
unicornpuppy35: u good, peanut? u seem kinda off lately.
My fingers hesitated over the keyboard, my mouth forming into a small smile at my nickname. Azzi always asked. I didnât know how she managed to carry so much and still notice the little things about me. God.
boogers_p: yeah, iâm straight. just tired, you know?
unicornpuppy35: donât let it get to u p. me and stewie got ur back.
Paige swallowed the lump in her throat, her reply coming slower this time.
boogers_p: thanks, puppy. u and stewie the real mvps fr.
Pup- I mean Azziâs reply was just a string of eye-roll emojis, but I could picture the grin on her face. I wish I could just see it for myself.
boogers_p: love u too.
So much.
I send the message, knowing I canât keep lying forever. But for now, Iâll hold on.
ââ-
Paige walked into her room, shutting the door with a quiet click, as if any louder might let her thoughts escape into the world. Tossing her bag into the corner, she kicked off her shoes and peeled off her clothes, leaving a trail toward the bathroom. The hot water scalded her pale skin, but she barely noticed, the familiar ache in her chest louder than the pounding spray.
When she came out, dressed in an oversized T-shirt, her damp hair sticking to her neck, she flopped onto her bed. She should sleep. She needed sleep. But instead, her hand reached for the scrapbook tucked under her nightstand.
Opening it, her heart clenched as she stared at the first photoâAzzi on the swing set, caught mid-laugh, her curls bouncing wildly as she leaned over, her dimple deepening with every giggle. Paige could still hear the sound of it, bright and free, almost as if Azzi were right there in the room with her.
The second photo wasnât much better. Her and Azzi at the diner for her 15th birthday, Azziâs arm slung around hers like it belonged there. Paige could almost feel the ghost of Azziâs touch, the warmth of her hand on her arm, the way Azziâs voice would soften when she scolded her for cussing too much.
She flipped the page closed before she started crying again. It didnât help.
Her fingers brush over the closed scrapbook, tracing its edges. She knows itâs pathetic to feel this way, to let herself get so tangled up in someone who probably doesnât even think about her anymore. Itâs dumb, she knows that. But it doesnât change the way her heart clenches at the thought of Azzi laughing somewhere else, with someone else, as if Paige never mattered.
Because the truth is, sheâs never felt this way about anyone before. Not like this. Not about their friendship, or whatever it used to be. Friendship doesnât even seem like the right word anymore. It feels too small, too simple for something that made her feel whole in a way nothing else ever has.
Will you miss me, Azzi? Paige swallows hard, her jaw tightening as tears blur her vision again. Will you miss what we had? Because I do. I miss you so much it hurts. It fucking hurts.
Her voice dropped to a whisper, her eyes closing as the words spilled from her heart. God I think Iâd miss you even if we never met.
Paige dragged a hand over her face, trying to will the tears back, but they came anyway, hot and relentless. She clutched the scrapbook tighter to her chest. I miss you. Every day. Every second of every day. I miss you so much itâs pathetic.
She let out a shaky laugh that turned into a sob halfway through. âItâs so dumb,â she muttered, shaking her head. But no matter how many times she said it, it didnât make it any less true. Itâs the realest thing sheâs ever felt.
Because no one had ever made her feel like Azzi did. Not before, not since. She wasnât sure anyone ever would.
She wipes at her face, but the tears wonât stop. Because no matter how much she misses Azzi, Paige knows itâs her fault sheâs gone. She clings to the scrapbook, the pictures inside the only pieces of Azzi she has left. And as much as it hurts, she knows she deserves this. Every ache, every tear, every lonely second.
Because she let her go. And thatâs something she can never take back.
ââ-
Azzi sat quietly in the backseat, her hands clammy as she rubbed them over her shorts, trying to calm the nerves that had been with her all morning. Her brothers had hyped her up about making the team, calling her the coachâs âprincess,â but it didnât help. She was still terrified. What if she didnât make it? What if she wasnât good enough?
She whispered to Stewie, who was in her lap, his small body a source of comfort. âWhat if I donât make the team, huh? I know itâs stupid, but it keeps running through my mind⌠what if I mess up?â
Her mom glanced back at her from the front seat, a soft smile on her face. âYouâll do fine, Azzi. You always do.â
But Azzi couldnât shake the unease, the thoughts spinning in her head as the car pulled into the gym parking lot. Her stomach twisted into knots, and her heart raced in anticipation. They arrived early, her mom wanting to meet the coaches first, so Azzi was the first one there.
She stepped out of the car, still trying to calm her breathing. As her mom led her inside, Azzi forced herself to smile and greet the coaches, though her mind was a hundred miles away. She excused herself once the introductions were made, eager to find the locker room and settle in before tryouts started.
The gym was empty when she walked in, the silence amplifying her every step. She meandered down the hall, her fingers grazing the walls as she took in the pictures of past players, their smiles frozen in time. She felt her nerves rise again, the pressure of what was to come weighing on her.
But as she rounded a corner, her body collided with somethingâor rather, someone.
âSorry!â Azzi blurted, quickly stepping back. But when she looked up, her breath caught. There, standing in front of her, was Paige. She froze, heart pounding in her chest. Her mind screamed for her to move, to say something, anything, but her body just wouldnât cooperate.
Paige stood there too, her mouth slightly open in disbelief, her eyes wide. The silence stretched between them, thick and heavy. Then, almost as if the world had shifted, Paige finally spoke her name.
âAzzi?â she whispered.
Azziâs stomach churned, but she couldnât stop staring at her. How? How could she be here? How had she found her, of all places? This wasnât supposed to happen, not here, not now. Not ever.
But Paige was looking at her like she hadnât missed a beat, like the time apart hadnât meant anything. Azzi could see the recognition in her eyes, the same as she felt in her chest.
It was instant. Her face was older now, sharper, but it was still her. Those blue eyes. The way she stood. Even the slight tilt of her head when she was unsure of herself. Azzi hadnât expected it to hit her this hard.
A year ago, she swore sheâd move on. Swore that sheâd forget what Paige meant to her. But now, standing here, all she felt was the sharp twist of memory and the burn of anger.
How could she not recognize her? Paige had been the first person to make her feel seen, to make her feel like she mattered. But she had also been the first person to hurt her more than anyone else had. Azzi couldnât forget that. Not the way she laughed with her, not the way sheâd come after her with apologies she could never quite believe.
Azzi had convinced herself she was past it. Past Paige. But now, here she was, staring at her as if nothing had changed. It was too much, too fast. Does she really think Iâve forgotten?
Paige stepped forward, her movements tentative, unsure. Azzi almost wanted to take a step back, to run, but she couldnât move. She stood there, feeling the weight of everything that had happened between them pressing in on her.
âAzzi,â Paige said softly, her voice almost hesitant.
Azzi blinked, her heart racing. She forced herself to act like she didnât know her, even though everything inside her screamed that she did. âSorry,â Azzi said, her voice steady despite the tightness in her chest. âDo I know you?â
ââ-
rosieâs note: well..yeah!
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iv. two inches - acta, non verba
chapter 3 | series masterlist | ao3 pairing: conqueror!marcus acacius x ofc!reader. summary: will the stars finally align so you can have who you want? a/n: hiii! sorry it's taken me a month to update 𼲠after watching gladiator ii, i knew i had to come back to these two asap. as always, all interactions welcome, i do appreciate you liking, sharing and/or commenting! take care đ warnings (spoilers): 18+, mdni. smut incoming. sexual tension galore. marcus jerks off to the thought of you. kissing. breast worship. mentions of past sexual trauma/marital abuse. the tip goes in. misogynistic views. infidelity. dialogue in italics means itâs spoken in gaelic (unless stated otherwise, i.e. latin). marcus is 49, ofc!reader (callie) is 26. w/c: ~8.4k. dividers by @\saradika-graphics taglist at the end (let me know if you want to be added/removed please!)
Niamhâs appearance had startled you, bringing you back to reality. For a second you had let yourself rejoice in the moment, in having Marcusâquite literallyâon the palm of your hand. You had not intended on it going so far; on grabbing his manhood with resolution and pumping him with delight. His hardening dick had been so hard to ignore, you just gave in to temptation.
His initial reticence to not be touched was what had spurred you on. Marcus had attempted to reject your advances, although unsuccessfully. Him turning you down only encouraged you more, wanting to prove to him how badly he desired you, even if he tried to conceal his lust.
The sooner he realised he wanted you, the faster your plan would move along.
And by the Gods did he realise, his steely cock living proof of his appetite for you.
What you had not expected though was your own bodyâs reaction to Marcusâ undeniable desire. Your pussy had been gushing all along, each stroke on his girth unravelling something within you â especially when you hinted at the idea of slotting his cock between your lips to suckle on him. That simple thought sent a warm wave down your spine, your folds wetting almost instantly. In fact, you could still feel the dampness your thighs were harbouring for him.
And it was all part of your scheme, anyway. Eventually you planned on it happening â sooner rather than later, preferably. If you experienced a few orgasms thanks to him in the process⌠well, even better. The trash sex Iain had subjugated you to for a decade was the only thing you had known in the bedchamber â not once did you climax, yet many a timesâif not alwaysâyou wailed in pain. Considering how your flesh had reacted to Marcus, perhaps the General would be useful in more than one way to you.
Biting the inside of your cheek, you glanced at him over your shoulder â a quick peek through your lashes, your teeth nibbling on your bottom lip.
You were riding together on his horse, his arms tight around your shoulders pinning you in place. His bulge was pressing against the soft curve of your ass â no wonder your pussy was still laced with slick.
Knowing Marcus was in hell right now, you wiggled your hips back, the plumpness of your buttocks nuzzling his swollen groin. The General swallowed a groan, his arms tighter around your shoulders, and you smirked to yourself, feeling his erection hard pressed against you. Marcus had found no relief since Naimh interrupted you both and was still at full mast. And understanding that caused your insides to melt.
Truth be told, you would have liked to finish what you started. Not for his sake, but for your own. Making him come in your mouth would have partially put out the hellfire that burnt inside you, wreaking havoc in your seam.
The animosity between Marcus and Maximus shimmered in the atmosphere.
The Commander had only brought his own horse and yours had deserted you, which meant that, if you were to come back, you had to choose between the two Romans. Maximus had gracefully offered you to ride with him, and the mischievous sideways look he shot in Marcusâ direction didnât escape you.
But before you could accept or decline, Marcus had mumbled something under his breath before ordering you to ride with him. Maximus was delighted with the whole exchange, and you understood that the Commander was actually teasing the General.
A little possessiveness wouldnât hurt. It meant you were stirring Marcus in the right direction â yours.
You ventured another sneaky look at Acacius, your curiosity concealed by the cover provided by the trees.
His lips pursed in frustration, but his eyes distilled exhaustion. Marcus had lost enough blood to put a man to sleep for a week, but here he was, standing and conscious, away from Dhuosnosâ realm.
You had made sure of that, not only by mending his wounds, but also by killing one of the attackers. That ambush had left a crawling suspicion in the back of your mind, bothering and nagging. There was something weird about it all but couldnât pinpoint exactly what.
Maximus spoke, filling the silence and voicing your inkling.
âAnd youâre sure you didnât recognise them, General?â
Marcus slowly shook his head again, his chest rubbing your back with the motion.
âNo. They spoke that barbâ uhm, the local language,â he muttered, briefly looking at you sideways, almost apologetic.
You knew how the original sentence was going to finish: that barbaric language. A reminder of who he was after allâyour enemy. You shouldnât lose sight of that, of the true purpose of your actions.
It felt wrong, how your lust awakened for none other than your enemy. Yes, you intended on bedding him, but your previous thought of getting Marcus to make you come now angered you. Your arousal felt like a betrayal to the memory of your family. You shouldnât wet at the idea of fucking him â if anything, you should feel disgusted of your own reaction.
Straightening your back, you just rolled your eyes with disdain, letting him know of your annoyance.
âIâll ask around, see what I can find out,â Maximus thought out loud, then glanced at you through the darkness. âDid you recognise any of them? Their accent?â
Slowly shaking your head, you grasped the saddleâs horn.
âNo, I didnât. Iâm not sure they were from around here,â you explained, wondering if you were saying too much.
They hadnât recognised you, which showed they were not your clansmen. But they were pretending to be.
You went quiet, your frown deepening.
âWhatâs bothering you, my lady?â Marcusâ breath caressed your ear, your skin bristling instantly.
âNothing,â you replied quickly.
Too quickly.
âIâm sorry you had to defend yourself,â he whispered, his husky voice low so only you could hear him. âI should have paid more attention. I wonât let it happen again.â
Suddenly you realised he thought this was your first time killing someone. Little did he know, you probably had reaped as many souls as he had. You were no stranger to the battlefield â your father had taught all his children how to wield a sword, how to take a life. You learnt how to detach your soul from your body whenever someoneâs life was cut short in order to preserve part of your humanity. It was the only way you could live with yourself, because it didnât matter if they deserved it or not, it still gnawed at your conscience at night.
Marcus, on the contrary, seemed to be oblivious to how much pain his killing had caused. Had caused you.
Another reminder.
But then you realised what he had said. He wouldnât let it happen again â a fissure in his impassiveness. Was he starting to care about you?
So you played on his protectiveness, on his words. Pouting lips, doe eyes and all, you nodded.
âI⌠I just wanted to protect you, Dominus. I was afraid he would hurt you,â you mumbled back, faking your fear for him.
The decade with Iain was paying off after all. To survive by your late husbandâs side, you had to master the ability of make-believe, to pretend you were feeling ways you truly werenât â afraid, amused, sad, happy, distraught, content. You had acquired the skills to feign a whole range of emotions, and this would be useful with the General.
He bought it.
âDonât worry about me, Callie,â his voice was but a whisper, but that wasnât what distracted you.
His broadâmassive actuallyâright hand had landed on your right knee, squeezing it lightly, as if to soothe you; your suffering for having killed a man. His touch was light and brief, but long enough to leave goosebumps in his wake.
You were not sure which one of you were more taken aback â him because of his sudden show of worry, or you because of how that had made you feel.
âBut I appreciate what you did back there,â he quickly added, clearing his throat, both of his hands gripping the leather reins.
âI would do it all over again, Dux Meus. For you.â
Perhaps you were buying it too.
Nay, canât be.
The whole ride back to Inbhir Nis castle was literal torture. A tempting nymph on his lap, warm and inviting, was the last thing Marcus needed to worry about.
But instead of the last, you had become the first on a never-ending list of concerns. Curbing his desire for you had been a herculean task, one he did not accomplish. Because as soon as the door to his chambers closed behind him, he stripped himself of all his clothing.
The moment the jail of his armour was gone, freed from its heaviness and tight grip, Marcus sighed, just finding a miniscule relief.
The erection that you provoked him was as hard as a couple of hours ago, shaft throbbing against his happy trail. It had been at least two hours since you had worked him to this state of unsatisfied lewdness and now it was just damn uncomfortable to be at full mast.
A warm bath was awaiting him, and Marcus only took a second to dive in. The hot, milky water was welcoming, soothing his strained muscles. There were herbs floating around â rosemary, lavender and thyme, at least the ones his sense of smell recognised.
A scent that had hit him before, when he encountered you getting out of the garderobe a few weeks ago. Why did that aroma remind him of you? Why would you just not leave his mind? This thought of you lingering was dangerous, distracting. But so fucking alluring too â there was something about you, the mischievous aura you exuded, that reeled Marcus in.
It was intoxicating, really. No, you were intoxicating. And he just wanted to drown in it, in you.
Marcus grunted in frustration, one hand sinking under the water to find his heavy balls and massage them gently. His head tilted back, resting on the edge of the wooden bathtub, and his eyes squeezed shut when his imagination took him back to the moment you wielded his cock.
Now that the haze of his fainting had lifted, he should have shown himself some self-restraint to stop whatever this was. But he couldnât, the memory of your tight grip too unravelling, too compelling.
So, in the privacy and safety of his bedchamber, he gave in to temptation. A last squeeze on his full testicles and then he was pumping his thudding dick to the thought of you doing exactly the same. His hand was your hand, and that was everything Marcus needed.
His thumb pressed on the slit, just as you had done. Then the bobbing of his hand picked up a faster rhythm, his free hand drifting down to hold his balls again, and Marcus jerked himself off while he envisaged you sealing your lips around his plump head, just as you had teased.
That was his undoing â you suckling on him, milking him dry with your mouth. Marcus could envision it perfectly: on your fours between his hairy, thick thighs, hand twisting on the base of his shaft while you sucked in his mushroom head, dick pulsing hard for you. And you glancing up at him with those green orbs â full, hypnotising eye contact, almost too intimate.
A few more strokes on his cock, imagination running wild, and he finally came. His breathing hitched and accelerated, becoming irregular, as his fist clutched harder around his girth. Spurts of white, tacky robes left his slit, his glans just peeking out of the water, and landed on his chest.
It took Marcus a couple of minutes to come down from his high. This was a new low for him, having to masturbate himself to the thought of someone because he was too horny to let it go. Too proud to ask you to finish what you had started. Too loyal to his cheating wife.
The last thought annoyed him, not wanting to think about Livia at this precise moment. He resented her, probably more than what he should. But her betrayal stung like fire licking on his skin, their holy matrimony reduced to a farce. For all he knew, he did not have any children of his own blood now. Marcus loved them equally though, but it still gnawed at him that he had been raising the children of another man unknowingly.
The life he had carefully built seemed to have crush down to its foundations. Marcus truly did not know what to expect upon his return. He had left abruptly, called by the Emperor and Agricola, with no time to discuss his family life with his wife. He didnât think he could just go back to normal, not after what had emerged.
Being out here in the wild Caledonia, Marcus felt his life on hold, postponing the inevitable. But he couldnât think about that now, not when he had so many tasks ahead of him.
Absentmindedly, Marcus cupped some water and washed the cum off his chest, watching it swirl around in the tub.
A knock, then the creak of the door as it opened.
His heart jumped and he quickly sat back up in the bathtub, water splashing as he did. He had forgotten to put on the latch.
He hoped to hell it was Atticus, at least.
âDux Meus?â
Wrong, fucking wrong.
Had he thought of you so hard that he had willed your presence?
Your profile peeked through the crack in the doorframe.
âCan I come in, General?â
Your ask was a mere formality, because before he could say anything, you had already entered the room and closed the door behind you.
Marcusâ back straightened, his relaxed muscles tautening again in your presence. Could he have no moment of respite, when he would not be haunted by bewildering scents and suggestive lips?
For a brief second, Marcus watched you look around, taking in the details of the room. A big, four poster bed with translucent veils hanging from every side; the matching oak furniture; the vivid, colourful tapestries on the bare stone walls telling stories he never heard of; a wonky standing shelf with a small library, books he had flicked through at candlelight before bed; the rudimentary chimney where a fire burnt and crackled.
Because even in spring, the thick walls of the castle kept a cool atmosphere inside. The pyre warmed up the room, but Marcus thought the temperature shot up the moment you stepped closer to where he was.
âWhat are you doing here?â his question sounded almost accusatory, his fingers gripping the edges of the tub, knuckles whitening.
His wary demeanour didnât put you off, light feet closing the distance with a smirk.
As you approached, Marcus couldnât help but marvel at the sight of you. Your green skirt flowed around you, hugging your voluptuous hourglass figure in all the right places. Your red hair framed your delicate features, freckles dotted around your nose and cheeks on your moonlight skin. Cherry lips as plump as figs, reddened and curled up. Some flickering green eyes as fiery as the orange sparks in the flue stared at him with unknown intent. A marble neck that led the path to the esplanade of your collarbone, and then, right underneathâŚ
His mouth watered, and his cock inevitably pulsed again. Your full breasts almost spilt over the low squared neckline of your dress, like sunny hills welcoming him home. Pebbled nipples greeting him. A deep cleavage so inviting, he could imagine pumping himself in between them, his glans just peeking through and kissing the center of your clavicle.
Another twitch in his groin made him steel himself and drawing a deep breath in to calm himself.
You crouched down, squatting right beside the bathtub, and placed one soft hand over his.
âI just wanted to make sure you were alright, Dux Meus. That your wounds were not bleeding, and the stitches were holding up,â the concern tinting your voice felt real to him.
Marcus cleared his throat, tense.
âTheyâre all fine. My healer certainly knew what she was going,â he conceded, then remembered. âExcept for the blunt tip of the needle. That I did not appreciate.â
You laughed and patted his hand a few times in jest.
âOh, Iâm pretty sure an acclaimed General like yourself can withstand a little bit of pain, Dominus,â you joked, long eyelashes batting at him. âBut for that I am sorry, I had to work with what Naimh had at hand.â
âThank you. For saving my life twice,â he whispered, almost solemnly. âI am indebted to you, Callie.â
You waved a hand to dismiss his gratitude, gifting him a crooked smile that quickly reached your eyes.
âYou killed two men. I think we are even, Dux Meus,â you muttered back, a low, wicked husk that knocked him off his senses momentarily.
With the smile still painted on your round lips, your eyes slowly drifted down his chest. The milky water was murky enough so you wouldnât see through it, wouldnât see how hard he was getting again.
And then you bit and licked your lips, the grin almost fading as a darker, sensual expression transformed your face â a mesmerising gesture that forced Marcus to follow your sight. Then he saw what had caught your attention: his cum floating around, gathering around the herbs that scented the now lukewarm water.
A moment of silence stretched between you, his heart racing up as your gaze lingered on the water, as if you were hoping for his erection to peep its head out above it.
Your fingers reached down into the water; palm cupped to trap some of his wasted seed. It filtered through your fingers until it all fell back into the bath water. Swirling your fingers around, you grabbed a tiny bunch of rosemary, dragging it across the water until the small leaves caressed the exposed skin of his chest.
The summit of your tongue licking your bottom lip as your eyes locked intimately.
So fucking suggestive, Marcusâ breath hitched, close to losing his mind.
âMarcus,â you cooed, your wet fingers dropping the rosemary and lifting up.
Your hand slid to his, wrapping around his wrist, a warm touch that spiked his heart rate.
A thunder crawled under his skin the moment you guided his hand over to your bosom. You squeezed his hand, smoothing it over your lush left breast. He couldnât help but cradle it, feeling the taut nipple grazing the thin fabric, rubbing his palm.
âPlease,â you almost sobbed, moving his hand in circles over your boob.
To hell with everything. He shouldnât let himself be distracted by the pleasures of the flesh during such an important campaign, but Marcus wanted you so badly â his new erection living proof of the desire that burnt for you.
Just one time, to satiate the caprice, and then he could go back to his duties.
Your mouth was agape, beckoning like a siren. And as he was about to relinquish to the temptation you offered, leaning forward, another knock on the door swept the moment away.
âDominus, Commander Maximus necessitates your presence immediately,â Atticus forewarned him before his steps faded in the distance of the hallway.
Perhaps you despised Atticus more than you hated Marcus, and that was a feat to beat.
The universe was intent on your plan not taking form at all, otherwise you could not explain all these fucking interruptions. Another person might have taken the hint, but not you. Stubborn as a mule, you would not stop at anything â Marcus would fall in your tangled web, whatever the cost.
You only needed to remember to keep a cool head. Among the hatred, pleasure shimmered, and it certainly bothered you. How your body had a mind of its own and responded to his obvious desire, damp fold hidden away between your thighs.
Itâs just an act, you reminded yourself.
But as much as you tried to convince yourself, your drenched pussy agreed to disagree.
Huffing and puffing, you went down the spiral staircase and sauntered towards the kitchens. You were in dire need of some light-hearted jest, and the old cook would help take your mind off things with his banter.
Cormag wasnât there, just Isla and Brighid shuffling around the hearth, keeping it alive. The smoky smell filled the room, almost suffocating, and you coughed.
âThat chimney is close to getting clogged,â you managed to say, clearing your throat. âShould put the fire out and get one of the helping lads to go in there and clean it out.â
Isla turned around, her head bowing down as a quick curtsy. They all really needed to stop doing that, even when no Romans were around.
âWe canât do that yet, mo bana-phrionnsa (my princess)â, she replied, her hands busy kneading the flour on the counter. âApparently there is a feast to be had tomorrow, one of the Romansâ birthdays. Weâve been asked to start the preparations for it, so will have to pull an all-nighterâŚâ
Brighid voiced her discontent, crouched down by the fire, feeding it some logs.
âI donât understand why we are wasting so much food on them. My familyâs starving, we barely have any bread left, and these cuâŚâ she quickly looked at you, embarrassed, but you nodded, encouraging, âthese cunts eat like gluttons. Last night you were not here, my lady, but some of them even started throwing the food around at one another. Disgraceful.â
âAye,â Isla agreed. âI had to pick up some unspoilt veggies off the floor. My nan has not had anything to eat for the last two days, she was worried that my siblings and I wouldnât have enough to eat.â
Their struggles broke your heart. Not only because they were your clan, but because of the injustice of it all. No person should go to bed hungry, and these undesirable guests were forcing people to go without a meal.
You knew both of the maids, their families. Brighidâs son was three and had started to talk; her husband had returned with you from Raedykes and now was an amputee, trying to find a job to provide for his family. Islaâs parents had perished during the battle of Mons Graupius too, serving your father till their final days.
It was frustrating, but it was even more infuriating. Your hands were tied, and you could not wait to break free of your tethers. You looked forward to the moment this all would be over, that you could face a defeated Marcus Acacius and impart upon him the same misfortune he and his people left in their wake.
You stayed with them a little longer, helping out where they needed you to. A couple of hours later, tired and in need of your niece and nephewâs hug, you were flying by the hallways of the keep, heading back to your aunt Bonnieâs crannog, when male voices stopped you in your tracks.
The door to the great hall was ajar, Maximusâ raspy tone filtering through.
âCassiusâ henchman and some of his men went back to the spot where you were attacked. There were patches of blood on the grass, but the bodies were gone,â the Commander husked. âI find it weird, honestly.â
âSo do I,â Marcus agreed. âI didnât want to say it before, but one of them spoke in Latin to me. His accent was⌠definitely Roman.â
âThat makes no sense,â Maximus replied, their voices clearer now. âWhat did he say to you?â
âJust âDie, bastardâ. That was all, but I could tell he was fluent.â
âLeave it to me, Iâll see what I can find out.â
Heavy steps approached, and you knew they were close.
Picking up your skirt, you ran down the corridor, mixing with the shadows until darkness wrapped around you.
âWhat were you fucking thinking, Callie? You couldâve gotten killed!â
Torcall was not impressed with your outing, to say the least.
You rolled your eyes at him, arms folded. You shouldnât have explained why you had been missing for so many hours, but you were not one to lie to your allies. Especially if they were family.
âI didnât have a choice, Torcall. He saw me leaving and decided to accompany me. What should I have done? Tell him his gallantry was no longer needed because I decided not to go? That would have been so suspicious,â you reasoned, your own anger flaring. âAnd I was in no real danger, anyway. They were Caledonians.â
You downplayed that on purpose. They were Caledonians, aye, but they were really intent on killing you. You were still ruminating on that detail.
âAnd you killed one of them. For him. To protect the fucking General of Rome,â Torcall barked, teeth clenching. âWhy didnât you let them finish him? All of our problems would be over.â
His accusation, although deserved, enraged you. Even more so because you had thought exactly the same thing, and still decided to defend him.
âYouâre so short-sighted, seriously. If I did, his entire army would have come hunt me down, ye eejit (idiot)!â You stood up, the legs of the chair screeching against the cobblestone. âHalf of the castle saw us leaving together, I wouldâve been the first one they suspected. And you know they tend to kill first and ask questions later.â
Torcall scoffed, fury distorting his features. But then a change of demeanour: he got up too and closed the distance between you two. For a moment he doubted, and then his arms wrapped around you, hugging you close to his chest.
The sudden proximity made you feel weird. Uncomfortable.
âI was just worried for you, Callie,â Torcall mumbled, his breath fanning over your ear. He leaned back, his hands lingering on your shoulders. âYouâre like family to me. To my children.â
The intensity his eyes distilled caught you off guard. They were soft and pleading now, all his anger forgotten. And then they drifted down, landing on your mouth.
The whole atmosphere shifted, your heart beating wildly. Surely this all felt wrong to the both of you.
âYou are family, Torcall,â you remarked. âYouâre my sisterâs husband, thatâs actual family, not âlikeâ family.â
Your words carried meaning, and more than meaning â a subtle warning. A reminder too, of who he was and who you were to him. He shouldnât forget himself. Torcall was your brother-in-law, and although pain had brought you closer these past weeks, it meant nothing more than that.
At least to you.
Torcall cleared his throat, his arms falling slack to his sides.
âAye, I guess we are,â he sighed, pinched the bridge of his perfectly straight nose, and sat back down on the chair. âSo, were they our brethren? You said they were Caledonians.â
You were relieved at the change of subject, the tension between you fading.
Nodding, you sat too.
âAye, although their accent was not really from around here. But Acacius seemed to think they were Romans,â you added, your fingers drumming on the wooden table between you. âThink heâs wrong though, you canât fake an accent like ours so easily. Do you reckon itâs got something to do with the attempt on the Generalâs life a few days ago?â
Torcall seemed to take a moment, contemplating his answer before he spoke. His eyes flickered for a second, his pupils a well full of doubts, something you thought odd.
âI donât think so. They were just lads, highly doubt they could pull something like that off,â he commented, almost cautiously.
You frowned, eyes slightly squinting.
âThey could be part of a larger group. You said so yourself, people donât listen to reason when they feel threatened. Perhaps some of them have decided to take justice into their own hands. I never got a chance to speak to my cousins yesterdayââ
âI did,â Torcall cut you off.
The wrinkles between your brows deepened.
âYou did? You went to Bun Craobh?â
âAye, had some errands to run,â he didnât add any further explanation to that. âRan into them and told them about your plan when I realised you hadnât spoken to them yet.â
âThat wasnât for you to do, Torcall,â you replied, mildly infuriated at him for taking the liberty to do so. âWhat the hell did you tell them?â
âNothing in too much detail, mainly because theyâd try to talk you out of it the same way I did,â there was a note of reproach in his voice, one you decidedly ignored. âJust that you were planning on spying on the General to get details of their next steps.â
How you got to Marcus was none of his fucking business. Now you questioned whether you should have shared that information with Torcall or not, if he was going to fucking judge you at every step of the way. What you did and how you got what you wanted was entirely up to you. You hadnât broken free from Iain to fall under the controlling hands of another man.
âTiugainn (come on), Callie. I just told them enough so the word would spread that Murdochâs only living daughter is planning on fighting back. Give the people a reason to hope,â he pleaded, sensing your anger.
âAye, but next time, ask me. I donât appreciate you bypassing me in these matters, not when Iâve got enough enemies at my doorstep.â
Marcus did not like all this unwanted attention. He was adamant this had been one of Maximusâ jokes, just to get on his nerves.
The General did not like celebrating his birthday. In fact, hated it. His wife would throw lavish parties back at home, wasting gold on unnecessary decorations and gifts â Livia would use any excuse to show off how full their vault was. Having made himself from nothing, Marcus understood how hard he had to work for each and every denarius to his name.
His most trusted Commander knew this and ignored it completely. He had mobilised the people of the castle to prepare a feast, food filling tables and wine spilling out of goblets in celebration. A fire had been lit in the big chimney presiding the great hall, white flower arrangements hung from the stone walls. There was even music being played in the background, the soft sounds of the lyre accompanied by a female voice who sang in Latin and praised all his conquests.
And what angered him most: there was a good handful of meretrices (prostitutes) lingering around. Most of them were local freedwomen, but others were slaves that Agricolaâs men had brought with them. Marcus had not allowed his own army to bring any woman into this new land, needing them focused on the task ahead. Agricola was, on the other hand, very lenient in that respect â encouraging almost.
âHow are you this beautiful afternoon, Dominus?â A sensual hum whispered in his ear tightened his muscles uncomfortably.
Looking over his shoulder, Marcus saw the blonde woman who had been eyeing him for a while. She was wearing a white toga, obviously one of the Roman slaves brought from overseas.
Unrequited, she sat on his lap, her round butt cheeks kneading his soft bulge, while one of her arms wrapped around his neck.
âWould you like a taste?â she asked with a bright smile, bringing a cup to his lips.
Marcus shook his head no, one hand stopping the chalice from getting closer.
âNo, thank you. And I rather be left alone,â he told the prostitute, rejecting her advances flatly.
She just laughed, putting the goblet back down on the table. Then she leaned forward, her lips brushing the artery on his neck.
âOh, we donât really need to play this game, Master,â she whispered in his ear.
Unbothered by the suggestive talk and her pressing onto his lap, Marcus swept the great hall, a burning sensation in his chest commending him to.
Your eyes locked through the observing crowd. The green orbs that stared him down were filled with playfulness. Suddenly, that sensual wickedness transformed into brief anger, then disappointment.
It took Marcus a second to understand why you seemed upset. He had forgotten about the prostitute sitting on his lap, talking his ear off.
You stiffed, chin lifted up with disdain, and turned around with a wooden jug on your hands.
Fuck. Wait, no. Itâs not what it seems, he wanted to say.
Marcus tried to get up, almost throwing the woman to the ground in his haste to get to you.
âI wonât require your services,â he politely declined when she looked at him in surprise.
âOhâŚâ her disappointment was visible, but it wasnât the one he cared to soothe.
âDonât worry, love, come here. The General seems in a hurry to leave. Some important matters, I wager,â Maximus extended his arm towards the blonde woman, inviting her onto his lap.
The sneering look Marcus threw Maximusâ way did not go unnoticed, his Commander laughing it off.
Ignoring him, he quickly walked off the dais, following your trail among the crowd. Your fiery red hair was like a beacon, one he followed to the main doors. A second later he was in the hallway and looked around, just in time to see you disappearing into the garderobe storing the wine.
Why he was following you, he was not sure. Why he needed to put your mind at ease, he was not sure either. All he knew was that the crushed expression you had given him stirred something within him.
In a few strides, he was right behind you, his hand holding open the wooden door to the garderobe.
âCallie,â he called you, your name rolling easily off his tongue, like a trained whisper.
Annoyed didnât cut it, disappointed didnât either. You were pissed. There you were, breaking your back to get Marcus to yield to you, for a prostitute to easily find comfort on his lap.
The man behind the façade was unknown to you, but you hadnât taken him for someone who enjoyed his free time in the whorehouse. Judging by how his hand cupped the small of her back and how the blonde was basically licking his neck, you were mistaken.
You were not jealous though. Just pissed, that was it.
Mumbling to yourself, you had walked out of the great hall to refill the empty jug with his favourite wine, not wanting to see such a spectacle unfolding in front of you. The burning sensation in the pit of your stomach would eventually fade, you were sure.
Although the door behind you was open, the inside of the garderobe was pitch-black. Patting blindly in the dark, you found the open barrel.
As you were about to turn the iron tap on, the sound of your name made you jump on the spot. Your pulse accelerated and the jug fell from your hands, clattering on the stone floor. You didnât need to look to know who it was â considering how your skin bristled and warmth pooled low in your tummy, you already knew.
âFuck, Marcus!â you exclaimed when you turned around to look at him.
Your heart rate spiked again, for a very different reason this time.
He had followed you; he had left the prostitute behind to come look for you. That had to mean something. Perhaps you had a tighter grip on him than what you originally thought.
And that pleased you immensely, to your dismay. The butterflies in your belly should be fucking dead, not fluttering their wings in excitement. Your heart kept on pounding against your ribcage, even harder when Marcus entered the tiny room and swung the door behind him, leaving it ajar.
A sliver of light flooded in through the crack, just enough so you could make out his features and the hard lines of his body.
Suddenly, the garderobe felt extremely small with him inside too.
âItâs not what it seems. I wasnâtââ
âYou owe me no explanation, Acacius. What you do or you donât do, itâs not my business,â you cut him off with the right amount of bitter venom distilling from your tongue.
The General pursed his lips in frustration. A dose of his own medicine wouldnât hurt him.
âItâs not like Iâm waiting around for you to make up your mind,â you added, lying through your teeth.
But you were such a good liar, Marcus was none the wiser. He believed every word. His nostrils flared and his hands tightened into fists on his sides.
âWhat do you mean?â his raspy voice came out in a threat.
You cocked a brow, proud chin up.
âYou know what I mean. Or do you need me to draw it down for you, so you understand?â
The provocation was, most probably, the last straw for him. Marcus almost snarled at you as he closed the distance. He grabbed both of your wrists with his thick fingers, yanked at them and pushed you into his chest.
The sudden display of anger took you by surprise. A pleasant surprise, especially when you noticed his swollen bulge pressing on your belly. Saliva pooled in your cheeks and slick in your pussy.
âI know thatâs not true. You wouldnât be so desperateââ
âI am desperate?â you laughed, the shaking of your tummy stroking the lump in his white toga. âYou can fool yourself, Marcus, but donât try to fool me.â
Marcus stiffened, pulling your wrists down and around his waist as his head bowed down to you, his lips ghosting over yours.
He was about to kiss you.
âYouâll be missed on the dais. Iâm sure that blonde is looking for you. Is she the reason you are so hard right now?â you grumbled, your best attempt to get on the last of his nerves.
âShe can go to hell. I want you,â he groaned, his mouth brushing yours. Â Your pussy gushing some more. âYou are the reason why I canât get it down.â
Marcus didnât wait for your sneering reply â his mouth crushed yours, teeth colliding. The tip of his tongue pulled your teeth apart and he laid waste to your mouth. The stroke of his tongue on yours tasted sweet, warm. It swirled around in your cavity, looking for a crack in your determination to remain impassible.
But you were only human. You had wanted this since the moment you came up with your plan to destroy the General â you would never admit it out loud though.
So, you gave in, your tongue responding to his with little whimpers as your hands laced together on the small of his back to push him into you, feeling his erection through the fabric. One you knew how big and curved and thick it was. One you wanted to know the feel of in the most intimate way possible.
Marcus moaned in your mouth, and you breathed him in, bewildered by his taste and the herby smell his skin gave off. Your throat let go of a similar quiet wail, as you stumbled back, your back meeting the cold wall behind.
The General kissed you fiercely, the same way he waged war upon his enemies â relentless. His hips grinded against yours, rubbing his bulge on you to get off while his lips abandoned your mouth to lick the marble column of your neck. He trailed the path of your vein, leaving wet kisses on his way down.
Then he brushed the point where your left breast swelled, and the tip of his tongue skidded through your skin until it found the valley of your boobs. He licked between them, both of his hands cupping them up.
âI need to see them,â he whispered, your skin bristling instantly as his thumbs travelled up and rubbed the visible nipples. âBeen dreaming about them since I met you. Can I?â
You did not expect him asking for permission, not when you assumed that, as the conqueror he was, he only took with no consideration.
Nodding with half-lidded eyes, surrendered to your own desire, you let him pull the neck of your dress down until both of your breasts were spilling over the hem.
âGood Gods, you are beautifulâ, he muttered, marvelled at the sight of your boobs. His thumb brushed your taut left nipple, and you shivered. âThey are perfect, columba (dove). So round and so full and soââ Crouched down over you, Marcus briefly licked it. âSo fucking tasty.â
With no warning, his warm lips sealed around the tight button, and you couldnât help yourself but moan, your hands burying in the nape of his neck and lightly pulling from his silvery curls. Marcus sucked it in, his tongue twirling around the nub. Then the caress of his wet muscle was replaced by his teeth lightly biting on your nipple and tugging.
Perhaps the sweet scent of the wine filling up the garderobe messed with your senses, with how you perceived the intensity of it all, of him.
You sobbed loudly, your cunt drenching and beating in response. Pressing your knees together, you wondered if this was how it was meant to be â how sex should feel every time. Warm, desperate, slick, needy. Because if this was it, if this was how it was supposed to be, you could never have enough.
A rush of wet warmth dripped onto your woollen loincloth, your lower belly inundated with a coiling feeling unknown to you â like a tense bow ready to fly an arrow.
Marcusâ right thumb found your unattended nipple, stroking it slowly as his devilish mouth devoured your other boob like a man starved. His tongue flicked and rippled against the tiny lump between his lips while his hips rutted into you, your dress and his toga impeding the contact you most craved.
âBy Mars I swear youâre so fucking perfect,â he managed to say between licks before moving on to your other tit.
The General repeated the same process again and your legs trembled with elation. Tilting your face up, you massaged his scalp, soft moans slipping from your plump lips. His smothering tongue was so persuasive, lapping at you with precision, your mind went numb with pleasure. The coil in your belly tightened harshly, so much so you had to bite down your bottom lip to stop yourself from screaming his name.
Your damp pussy pulsated, another wave of slick wetting the pearly skin between your inner thighs.
âMarcus, oh, God,â you whispered, short of breath â your heart pounding in your ear drums, deafening.
âLet go for me. Come for me, sweetheart,â Marcus whispered before attacking your nipples again, one with his mouth and the other with his thumb.
His clothed cock rubbing low, right between your thighs. The roughness of your underwear abrasing your begging, writhing clit.
You couldnât take it anymore. The overwhelming sensation between your legs was too much â your leaking cunt wanting to find release. And it did: the coil inside you finally snapped, warmth and dew soaking you. All your limbs went slack as you felt the last wave of your climax washing over you.
Then absolute peace, your brain numb with your first experience of an orgasm. Now you understood what other women whispered about when the men were away.
Speechless, you laid back against the wall as Marcus towered over you, a satisfied grin curling his lips.
âYouâve done so well for me,â his praise fell like sugary water from his lips, the palms of his hands cradling your face as he pressed his erection against you.
His tongue flicked between your lips, coaxing them apart, and you obliged. A soft, almost puritanical, kiss pressed on your mouth before his lingered to your cheek, then your ear.
âCallie, please, I need to fuck you,â the inflection on the word need made you whimper.
Unable to still find the words, feeling all mushy and heavenly, you nodded.
The sigh of relief that bubbled up Marcusâ chest would have made you laugh in other circumstances. But there was nothing laughable about this, about two people chasing the highest of highs.
âPraise be to the Gods,â he prayed at your acceptance, his broad hands landing on your hips to turn you around.
The cold stone wall greeted your nipples, the General pinning you against the wall with your back leaned on his hard chest. Tilting your hips back, your ass sweetly nuzzled his swollen groin, then his hands rode up the skirt of your dress, exposing your loincloths.
You gasped when Marcus pushed your underwear down to your knees slowly, his fingertips dragging along your velvety skin.
âI just know youâre gonna take me so well, mel (honey),â he purred in your ear, cupping your naked buttocks. âSo, so well.â
The side of his hand slid across the fold between your ass cheeks until it found the dampness you harboured for him.
Marcus groaned in your ear, and you reciprocated, his touch so welcomed your clit twitched in response.
âMarcus, please,â you implored, eyes shut and mouth agape.
âI know, mel, I know.â
His clothes rustled behind you and knew he was naked from the waist down. Tempted, you looked over your shoulder just to confirm your suspicion, and your knees almost gave way. Pearls of precum topped the plump head of his throbbing cock, his hand holding it from the base.
As beautiful and tempting as last night, his dick twitched in need. Marcus stroked himself in a feeble attempt to calm himself. Leaned towards you, his lips nipping the crook of your neck, his beard tickling your sensitive skin, and you whined in desperation.
Guiding his thudding cock between your thighs, you felt it drag across your seeping furrow, wetting himself with your slick. The warm touch of his shaft along your puffy lips made you moan uncontrollably, back arched and your butt pressing onto his lower tummy.
âShh, shh, itâs okay, sweetheart. Iâm going to feed it to you slowly,â he husked, voice raspy with want.
You wept some more, his cock sliding through your seam easily and freely. His mushroom head hitched on your clit, and then slipped back down to your entrance, catching too. Marcus pushed in ever so slightly, just half an inch, and your head tilted back, resting on his shoulder.
Another half an inch and then you felt it: the trained reaction of your inner walls clutching, not wanting to let him in. Years of abuse had taught your body to put up a fight, to squeeze your hole shut so your late husband wouldnât hurt you.
You fought with yourself, asking your pussy to let Marcus in, as he intruded another inch.
He felt your hesitation, your inner struggle.
âRelax, columba, youâre too tight,â he groaned behind you, one hand sliding across your hip to your belly and diving between your thighs. Two of his thick fingers caressed your clit, the flick of them over your bundle of nerves softening your body. âThatâs it, sweetheart, relax. I got you.â
Your inner walls loosened up ever so slightly as Marcus rocked his hips back and forth behind you, fucking you with just his tip. Easing his way in, helping you calm down as only his throbbing, leaking head pumped in and out of you. He was only feeding you a couple of inches, your pussy hugging him extremely tight as he did.
âToo damn tight,â he whispered, and you knew he was grasping for control, the pulsing of his cock rhythmic with the gentle petting of his fingers on your clit.
âMarcus, I canâtââ
Perhaps the trauma your husband had inflicted upon you reached further down than you thought. What a fucking moment to realise that.
âShhh, itâs fine, itâs okay, mel. Iâm more than happy with just the tip for now,â he reassured you, soothing your nerves. âAnything you give me willingly, Iâll take.â
True to his word, Marcus kept on fucking you with just the first two inches of his thrumming dick while his fingers worked your clit with expertise. Not too long after, your felt that burning, coiling sensation converging in your swollen pussy again, your cunt smothering Marcusâ tip even more.
âOh, fuck, melculum (my little honey)⌠Come for me again, yes, come all over me,â he moaned in your ear.
At his command, you let go. A rush of liquid fire lapped at your pussy, then leaked over Marcusâ erection as you shrieked. Gathering your ridden-up skirt around your waist, Marcus wrapped one of his strong arms around you to keep you standing on your feet, rutting into to shallowly so he wouldnât feed you more than two inches.
His cock pulsed hard in your entrance, a gruffy groan rumbling in his chest, almost tearing his throat apart. Marcus pulled back quickly, leaving you empty, and the tip of his cock rested on your left buttock as he jerked off.
A minute later, his warm white seed sticked to the skin of your round globe, dripping to the floor when it got to the cliff of your ass cheek.
Marcus kissed the back of your neck, both of you breathless and sweaty.
The first time you both found relief, together.
âYouâve done so well, mel,â he lauded you again, pulling your loincloth up.
You felt exhilarated, high and fucked out. Numb and spent. Satisfied.
You hoped he was too. He hadnât been able to bury himself deep down in you, but you hoped you had been enough.
All the bravado you had showed him so far faded, a carefully built façade, and you felt slightly insecure with what had just happened.
âMarcus, Iââ
Suddenly, the door to the garderobe swung open.
Marcus reacted quickly, pressing you against the wall some more and his hand placed against the wall, his arm blocking your face from the sight of the unwanted guest. His entire body along with the darkness shielded you from being recognised.
âOh, Ă DHĂOL (oh my god)! Tha mi duilich (Iâm sorry), General, tha mi cho duilich! (Iâm so sorry),â you identified Brighidâs panicky voice and even though you couldnât see her, you knew she blushed.
Then the door slammed shut.
Both of you started laughing.
@orcasoul @immyowndefender @sjc7542 @fairiebabey
@thepalaceofmelanie @harriedandharassed @whoaitspascal87
@verybigvag @jessthebaker @ivoryandflame @missadangel
@pepperstories @mewantpeepaw @inept-the-magnificent
#fic: acta non verba#marcus acacius#general marcus acacius#marcus acacius x oc#marcus acacius x reader#marcus acacius x you#marcus acacius x female reader#general acacius x you#general acacius x reader#marcus acacius fanfiction#marcus acacius fic#gladiator#gladiator au#gladiator 2#gladiator 2 fanfiction#marcus acacius smut#smut#gladiator 2 fic#pedro pascal#pedro pascal characters#pedro pascal character#pedro pascal fandom#pedro pascal fanfiction#pedro pascal fic#pedro pascal smut#pedro pascal x reader#pedro pascal cinematic universe#pedro pascal x you#enemies to lovers#scotland
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Arcane theory - The first timeline
Now this might be a bit long so please bear with me. I absolutely loved the ending of Arcane (we win jayvik nation) but there are a few aspects of it that I canât quite wrap my head around. If anybody has a different perspective than me please do tell Iâd love to hear it.
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Now for what I donât quite understand (Iâve never been good with the logic of time travel)
1. What was the first timeline like? How did the story play out the first time round? Ik time doesnât work like that and ik about the bootstrap paradox but Iâm still so curious. And how did Viktor know Jayce would be the one to save him?
2. How did Viktor know that he was giving Jayce a different rune each time? Is there like some history tab in the Arcane??
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Iâll now try to answer these questions but again itâs all purely my speculation:
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1. What was the first timeline like? How did the story play out the first time round? How did Viktor know Jayce would be the one to save him?
We learn that each time Viktor ends up destroying the world he goes back in time in an attempt to stop himself. He says to Jayce âIn all timelines, in all possibilities, only you can show me this (this being the fault of his ideology).â This means he is certain that Jayce is the key to stopping him.
Now as to how he knows itâs Jayce and only Jayce that can free him from his false ideas. I have two theories.
A) Heâs literally gone trough ALL other possibilities.
Heâs nudged all people in and around Zaun and Piltover in the direction of developing hextech and through trial and error he finds that Jayce is the one. - This has many faults and is more of an idea than a theory
B) In the first timeline that started their loop he had already met Jayce.
If he had already in some capacity come into contact with Jayce and seen his desire to prove himself, his drive and kindness. He would know that thatâs the person whoâs to be his conquests undoing. - This theory sounds more plausible to me and thus is what Iâll be going with
With this established we can move on to what the first time line was like.
Since Viktor wasnât there to save his mother, Jayce grows up to be an orphan (I canât remember anyone ever mentioning his dad). I believe he would still gravitate to becoming an inventor/ scientist, but with no funding he would probably be someoneâs assistant or some such.
Viktor wouldnât have met Jayce so early so he would still be Heimerdingers assistant. Eventually though his illness would start showing and in my mind, Viktor wouldnât want to die without his life meaning something, without helping the people of Zaun.
I believe he would go see Singed just like he did in our timeline. Singed wouldnât have the support from Silco like he does in our timeline since there would be no explosion in Piltover, thus no arrest of Vander, thus no death of Vander, thus no Silco leader (presumably).
This would mean that Singed would seek more drastic measures for example hextech. I believe he would have given Viktor some hextech crystals and shimmer, maybe as a part of a deal maybe out of the goodness of his own heart.
I think Viktor would start researching hextech which would perhaps catch the attention of Jayce, leading to them working together on hextech in secret.
As his illness would progress Viktor would again corrupt the core and enhance his leg. This time though since there is no funding for their illegal study there would be no Sky, meaning there would be no accident (donât even dare to tell me it would kill Jayce I donât want to even think about that).
If there is no accident then maybe Viktor would use the core on himself sooner. Become the machine herald as he would have no guilt (Sky) making him hold on to his humanity.
If he becomes the machine herald so soon Jayce wouldnât have much time to talk him out of everything. Not only would there not be enough time to talk, since they met so late their connection wouldnât quite be what it becomes in our time line.
Jayce would get pretty close though since after Viktor achieves his salvation of the human race and realizes its faults, itâs Jayce who he trusts to save everyone.
Now he would come up with the plan to inspire Jayce sooner, so he develops hextech sooner, so they meet sooner, so Jayce has more time to stop him.
This only eventually works when Ekko buys him more time, otherwise he still wouldnât have enough time to convince Viktor. (Ekko is the goat fr)
âââââââââââââââââââââ
Now for with the one that makes the least amount of sense to me.
2. How did Viktor know he was giving Jayce a different rune each time?
In episode 9 we are explicitly shown and told that Viktor went and tried all kinds of different runes in hopes that one will give Jayce enough time to save him.
Letâs say he starts with rune A, it doesnât work so when heâs in the âworld rid of humanityâs imperfectionsâ he decides to give him rune B.
Now if it doesnât work, the Viktor in the past who meets Jayce with rune B becomes the Viktor in the present.
Only problem is new Viktor is here for the first time. He presumably doesnât have the memories of old Viktor, so how could he know that the rune he decides to try this time isnât one heâs already tried for example rune A.
How does he know that heâs not already in an endless cycle of going between A and B. Never even trying C.
I believe the only explanation would be that the Arcane is somehow giving him access to all his âpastâ memories from his past timelines.
Although time doesnât really work like that. Time is a loop a cycle it doesnât have an end or a beginning whoâs to say that it wouldnât give him memories of the acceleration rune working.
But I digress since I canât think of a better solution.
âââââââââââââââââââââ
If anyone actually read it to the end thank you and sorry that it lowkey read more like fanfiction than a theory.
If anybody has literally any other ideas please comment I wanna hear them so bad you donât even know.
In conclusion going by my theory Jayvik are truly meant to meet in every timeline and Viktor is the direct downfall of Vander and Vanders Zaun. (What a silly guy am I right or am I right)
#jayvik#arcane spoliers#arcane act 3#arcane ending#jayce talis#arcane jayce#jayce the defender of tomorrow#jayce x viktor#viktor arcane#viktor machine herald#arcane#arcane theory#guys this is my way of coping#I might be delusional so what#my brain has to work so hard to even attempt to understand all this and the implications#itâs entirely possible that im way off#arcane season 2
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Hi pepper!
I have a request for a one shot Gojo x reader. thatâs fluffy based off of this song called âmemory laneâ by aqualina
I do have a scene based off of it but do whatever youâd like. Imagine this, either reader or Gojo finds some old footage of Him, reader, Shoko and Geto hanging out in their high school years. Reader and Gojo reminisce on old memories.
omg thank you for your sweet request ! hope this one was worth the wait â¨
something good â gojo satoru x reader
contents: gojo satoru x reader, geto suguru mention, ieri shoko mention, light angst with LOTS OF FLUFF, mentally strugging softboy!satoru gojo, lots of yearning, 2 pages of making out, slightly suggestive summary: gojo uncovers hidden memories and realises that all he needs is you wc: 3.6k
spring time, second year. â.. it looks like me and you havenât really changed that much, hey?â he says softly, the fondness for you showing in his younger face all those years before.  even when he didnât ask, he knew that you would always be there. you were his constant. he didnât know when he started seeing you in everything he did, if you could see his thoughts, youâd be able to see your smile reflecting back at you.
âsatoru?â still concentrating on his nintendo DS, he sighs. he recognizes suguruâs tone, it either going to be a deep question or a fucking stupid one. he rolls over with a groan on suguruâs bed to face his best friend, his book that he was reading lay forgotten on his desk. âyeah?â satoru asks lazily, eyes darting back to his flashing screen. âwho do you see yourself as in the future?â oh, here we go. satoru fights the need to roll his eyes. âwhat do you want for your life?â âpff, I want to just fucking beat this level.â he says aggravatingly, groaning dramatically as his character dies again. suguru laughs seeing his flashing screen, previous annoyance disappearing instantly, satoru canât help but grin back â he always liked suguruâs laugh.Â
â...donât you ever think about it though? the future?â the future?
he blinks. blessed with great strength and power, he knew from a young age that that choice wasnât something that he was lucky enough to have. satoru never had to worry about the future, he had his whole life planned out for him. the thought never saddened him, and why should it? he wasnât a fool and believed that all things were equal in this world. he was the chosen one, the future of jujutsu society â that was just how life was â another consequence of being the honoured he supposed. but glancing at suguruâs thoughtful expression, the flicker of hope and despair in his violet eyes, his rough hands winding through his dark hair, it was clear to see that this obviously mattered to suguru. satoru didnât understand where suguru was going with this but it was just like him to worry about things that didnât matter. satoru sighs, attention back to his game, âi dunno, itâs hard to say when weâre already the strongest. what else could you want?â suguru scoffs, shaking his head âyou wonât be a teenager forever â youâd better wake up sooner or later, satoru.â satoru jolts awake, moving his blindfold up to rub his eyes irritatedly.Â
shit, for once he didnt mean to fall asleep. still feeling slightly disoriented, he hastily slides off of the couch, moving quickly to his room down the hall. groaning as he glances at the clock in the hall, he sighs hoping to ignore his slightly teary eyes. he was going to be late â you were going to kill him.Â
satoru hasnât been sleeping well lately â not that it was from a lack of effort. heâs tried melatonin pills, exercising before bed, even those sleepy girlie time party mocktails â or whatever you called them â but nothing helped. it definitely wasnât the endless missions that the irritating higher ups were making him go on, he was used to the workload. maybe he was worried about something. walking quickly through his room, satoru wondered if you were getting enough sleep. did you have dreams too? sleep never seemed to be there when he wanted it. rubbing his face, to fully pull himself into reality, satoru could still feel the remnants of the quiet comfort produced by his unexpected dream. he felt shame at the feeling. guilt in the comfort.Â
satoru didnt get a lot of sleep to begin with, but there were times where the extra hours awake werenât all bad. he might as well be useful, which is how satoru started learning how to cook in the early hours of the morning, proudly surprising tsumiki and megumi with cute bento boxes. he would binge watch a whole tv series at once, determined to tell nanami all about it at jujutsu tech. but he thinks the best use of his time awake was when he was simply seated on the couch with you, listening to you talk about your day until the drowsiness would overtake you and he could just hold you for a little bit. he liked when you came over, tsumiki and megumi liked it too. just last week, when he saw your expression melt when tsumiki begged you to stay for dinner, giving into her like you always have. satoru remembers your grin as you sat next to silently pleased megumi, picking out the tender pieces of chicken from your plate to give him more of his favourite. when you were around satoru noticed that fushiguros were more at ease, and he couldnât help but think that maybe it would be better if you moved in. but this was uncharted territory â a necessary boundaryâ protecting you from the rise and fall of his storm. his greed would have to lay dormant in his dreams.Â
but the lines were getting blurrier throughout the years. satoru couldnt deny how his face would light up when youâd call him while he was on a lengthy overnight mission. concern smothering the delight in your voice that he was still awake (âsatoru! what the fuck, did you even sleep today?â), heâd easy dodge your concerns, covering the fatigue in his voice with teasing remarks and crude jokes to your obvious frown. âtell me something good, satoruâ youâd say, seeing right through him like you always did, voice still laced with sweetness, wanting nothing more than to listen to him talk.Â
taking wide strides across his room to throw something on, satoru rustles quickly into his closet grabbing whatever looked clean and appropriate. if he showed up in his crinkled pajamas again to a meeting again, youâd surely cuss him out. his eyebrows crease at the thought of disappointing you, he was supposed to make you smile not stress you out â he made a promise to himself to always look out for you and there you go again worrying about him.Â
hastily grabbing the folded dark blue sweater at the back of his closet, blue eyes widen at a box toppling to the floor. its contents dramatically spilling across the cold hardwood floors.Â
great. he didnât have time for this. groaning, he quickly kneels down to right the box, his breathing hitches.Â
strewn across his floor, he sees scenes of his missing dreams. photographs of his time at jujutsu tech as a student, his eyes taking in the many photographs that shoko had taken, moments of a simpler past. gathering the pile of photos, he slowly rifles through them â a photo of shoko and him with matching peace signs, a photo of you doing shokoâs hair, blurry photos of suguru chasing after you when youâd steal his cigarettes, snickering photos of him trying to climb suguru like a tree, a photo of you and kento sharing sandwiches.Â
another lifetime ago. he picks up the slightly faded photo of himself and you, a reminder of a well loved memory. satoru shakes his head softly at the way you sat on his back while he was sprawled out on the gym mats, his glasses perched at the top of your head acting as a crown on your shit eating face. satoru cant help but grin at his own small pout in the grainy photo. shoko always had the best timing. you had a bet with suguru that if you could get gojoâs glasses, he would treat you to unlimited free ramen from that nice place in shibuya with the fresh noodles for two months.Â
satoru remembered how youâd excitedly roll off him ignoring his grumbling, âtoru, you know i had to win! itâs suguru! have you seen how much sugu eats? that fucker would run me dry! but donât worry, iâll get him to pay for you too.âÂ
he never told you that he had let you win of course, not putting up much of a fight, distracted by the smile on your face â so bright that he couldnât bear to diminish it. you must have had some sort of curse in your smile, even convincing a begrudging suguru into paying for satoru everytime, âsugu, you have to! heâs going to whine and cry, do you really want to deal with that?âÂ
after that month, satoru never went to back that ramen place againâ too sick of it to go back. he could hear the creaking floors when the three of you would arrive, the smell of the rich broth and the sound of suguruâs laughter when he teased you.  satoru knows you havent had shio ramen since then â you insisted on have ramen for every meal for a month to suguruâs annoyance. perhaps heâd invite you to go eat there again if it was still there.Â
somewhere in his mind he thinks he hears the warm sound of your arrival, the jingling of the key that he gave you when the fushiguros first moved in. your usual light steps, heavy now with annoyance.Â
âreally, satoru?â you yell, annoyance dripping from your sharp tongue. âiâve been calling you a billion times, this is an important meeting â we canât be late again. you fucking said youâd be ready by the time i ââ you see his still figure hunched at his closet. your eyes narrow in confusion, your tightened fist unclenching at the sight of his still broad back.Â
â... satoru?â you call, voice softening as you notice the tension in his shoulders and the unnatural stillness of his too tall body. curiously you creep up behind him, your slow hands feel his shoulders, the tension cold and heavy in his muscles, your hesitant hands leaving a trail of fire behind them. arms weaving their way around his slender neck, a place that youâve been before. your eyes take in the photos strewn on the floor, visions of a past life swirling in his cluttered mind. your eyes widen.Â
â..âtoru?â you try again â more gently â calling him from the abyss, a light in a rough storm. eventually, you feel his large cold hand reach up to gently hold your right hand in response, his blue eyes tear away from the photographs, tousled white hair leaning against your abdomen, his tired eyes looking up at your concerned face.Â
âhey.â he greets you, trying to mask his fallen expression with a hollow smile, a carefully practiced defense, something that he developed in childhood but perfected in suguruâs absence. but you knew him well. you knew how his eyebrows would crease or how his lip twitched when he was on the verge of crying. Â
the dark rings around his eyes echoes you concern â were they darker than usual? you sigh as you take into account his far away stare, his icy watery eyes. crouching down, all anger forgotten, you look over his shoulder to take a closer look at the photo heâs holding. apologetically you let go of his hand in exchange for the photograph, sitting down beside him instead. you miss his eyebrows furrow slightly missing the comforting squeeze of your hand. a bittersweet smile dancing on your face, you stare at the photo, all words dying on your suddenly too heavy tongue. a photo of a past life, a happier time: suguruâs exasperated expression contrasting his bright amethyst eyes, face fashioned in a pout as he was sandwiched obnoxiously in between you and satoru. a wild grin decorating your face, mischievous eyes closed in mid laughter at suguruâs grumbling, while satoru pulled bunny ears behind suguru.
âoh god, look at him.â you whisper pointing out suguruâs dark shorter hair when he first arrived at jujutsu tech. you almost forgot what he looked like before he âÂ
your eyes blink, you didnât want to think about it.Â
satoru scoffs, âi know, doesnât he look like an idiot?âÂ
âremember how youâd make fun of him all the time? you were such a bully to him â he really hated you when we started.â you laugh sadly. Â
âthatâs not my fault, he was fucking asking for it! he kept calling me q-tip! or nepobaby!â he counters, betraying tenderness in his tone. âshut up, i know you liked it when he called you anything close to baby!â you quip back, face denouncing you in a soft grin. a heavy silence invades the intimate space between you two, his absence sitting in between you, his rightful spot now vacant. suguru. you lean your head on satoruâs shoulder, his arm moving around you to settle at your waist instinctively. you look into his eyes reading him easily: i miss him too.Â
suguruâs defection was still a sore spot in your mind. satoru still hasnt been able to say his name out loud, suguruâs name carrying too much weight. you suspected that satoru wanted to carry his best friend with him despite the heaviness, a sense of masochistic comfort. you hoped that he knew that you were always there for him when the time came, you still felt the hurt too.Â
but there was a strange sort of solace that still lingered in his name. suguruâs memory was still soft if you focused but the pain caused by his name was still sharp and rough around the edges. when was the last time you and satoru spoke this openly about him?
the memory still hurt. a wound that would reopen at any given movement, unable to heal, cutting deeper as time went by.Â
mercifully sensing the pounding of your heavy heart, satoru clears his throat and fishes out another photo in the messy pile. a photo of shoko and himself, a cigarette dancing on shokoâs lips, gojo looking at her in mid conversation.Â
âewww â look at you here.â you point out, wrinkling your nose, âthis really wasnt your best haircut...âÂ
he scoffs, the twinkle in his eyes showing you his amusement. âyouâre the one who did it â â
âoh fuck, right!â you laugh, thinking about the very first time satoru begged you to cut his hair â shoko was away on a rare missionâ yelping at you when you closed your eyes in nervousness, resulting in an uneven cut. you both remembered how shoko laughed so hard she cried when she saw him. you definitely didnât cut his hair this time, admiring his soft locks and even trim. you move your generous hands to comb through his soft hair gently, enjoying the feeling of his undercut under your slow hands. he closes his eyes, a please sigh escaping his lips, tension immediately easing from his body.
âitâs better now though, hey? makes me even more handsome,â he teases, his eyes still closed.Â
ânah, still ugly. brings out your buggy eyes. âm so glad you started wearing the blind fold.â you mutter, still playing with his hair absentmindedly.Â
ignoring his whine, you laugh, âwow, shoko still looks amazing though.. look at her cute little cheeks! I forgot how she used to put pins in her hair like that.â previous annoyance disappearing instantly, satoru canât help but grin back â he always liked your laugh.Â
he watches while a strange far away expression infiltrates your face, picking up a photo, edges creased contrasting the vividness of his memory. shoko and suguru smiling at the camera, while you and satoru were in mid conversation smiling at each other. spring time, second year.Â
â.. it looks like me and you havenât really changed that much, hey?â he says softly, the fondness for you showing in his younger face all those years before. Â
even when he didnât ask, he knew that you would always be there. you were his constant. he didnât know when he started seeing you in everything he did, if you could see his thoughts, youâd be able to see your smile reflecting back at you. your presence somehow simultaneously exciting him and putting him at ease. maybe it started when you stole his glasses in first year, or the countless detentions you both got in. surely, it must have been the night that suguru left. in the darkness he wasnât sure who was holding who, your tears mixing with his as you clung to him in your sleep.
maybe it was when you showed up at megumiâs school when he first got into a fight even though you were in the middle of a mission last month, a fire in your eyes. or maybe it was when you comforted tsumiki when she came home upset over a fight with one of her friends. maybe it was in the way you talked her through it, rubbing her back gently while you listened to her through her teary words. or when you ate all his mochi yesterday, cheekily claiming âyou said youâd share, satoru!â whenever it started, he knew that something different was blossoming into maturity in the past few months â something that he never knew could be a possibility â let alone for someone like him.Â
âwe should take an updated photo, we never have photos of just us,â you decide, turning to face him fully. âmy phone or yours?â he asks, eyes still the photo, breathing in the way you smiled at him all those years ago. unchanged.Â
âmhm, yours.â you say as he digs his phone out of his back pocket. âi want a good one, âkay toru?? i dont need any more photos of you sticking your tongue out..â you mutter, scooching closer to him. âoy, come closer â youâre so far,â you whine, grabbing his forearm urging him to get closer for a better photo.Â
âcâmere then..â he mutters, gently shuffling you so that youâre sitting in his lap, as you hum in content at the warmth of his skin against yours. he easily drowned you, this familiar place, his familiar embrace. yet this time you felt the tide shift, something softer, vulnerable â the calm waters after a storm. you lean your head to his as you both smile for the camera as the shutter echoes through the room.Â
moving impossibly closer to you, he turns his head towards you, his phone lay forgotten on the floor. sensing his stare you turn your head to his, eyes questioning his soft gaze. as the air grows thicker bursting with the weight of years of fondness and poorly hidden desires, your eyes flicker to the curve of his lips. breathing the same air as him, you feel light headed, drunk off the very presence of him.  Â
inching closer he feels his soft lips meet yours, a fluttering feeling, hesitant and foreign but firm and sure. you easily wind your arms around his neck, sighing as you pull him closer, jumping into the deep end when youâve been wading in the shallows for years. he effortlessly maneuvers you to straddle his lap, large hands pressing against your back, pulling you closer to meld his heart to yours, his hands begging to memorize the feeling of you.Â
too preoccupied drowning in him, you hesitantly break away from him to breathe, only to rest your forehead on his. grounding yourself in the feeling of his warm breath on your cheek, uneven and heavy, your erratic heartbeat threatens to break the fragile silence. the air grew hot and heavy, buzzing with anticipation and nerves. satoru bumps his slender nose with your playfully, causing you to grin. a relieved smile dancing on his face in reply, a silent conversation dancing in his eyes, a celebration of his love, a proclamation of his devotion to you, an apology for waiting this long, an admission of forever.Â
needing to feel more of him, you move your hand to cup his flushed cheek, the sweetness in his skin grounds you once more â satoru was always the question and the solution wound tightly into one. confessions of the past and future swirling in his blue, you meet the weight of his tender gaze like you were carrying the strongestâs life in your very hands. his skin burning with your touch, you greedily move to kiss him to soothe the ache, swallowing his smile in your greed.Â
melting with the reassurance of his lips to yours like a signature on a previously forgotten love letter, you wonder how you lasted this long without his lips on yours. you bite back a pleased smile as he reciprocates eagerly, deepening the kiss, tongues dancing, his soft lips moving in tandem with a bruising promise to always be yours if you let him. when your hands weave through his hair, a dark purr escaping his throat, reverberating through your core. his arm grips you tightly as his other hand moves to settle at the nape of your neck, feeling your heart beat in sync through his flushed skin.Â
breathlessly, with great effort two magnets part, your hands loosening your grip on his soft t shirt. breaths tangling together, drinking in each other.Â
still intoxicated by the feeling of you, satoru canât help but nuzzle into your warmth, his forehead finding yours once more. his eyes still on your swollen lips, evidence of his want, his mind already on the thought of kissing you again, like he would die without the feeling. âyâokay?â you mumble, heaving chest enjoying his touch.Â
he chuckles at the absurdity of your question, you should know by now that he was always okay as long as you were with him â the only time that he feels he would get better is when you were there.Â
âhey â donât laughâŚâ you mutter suddenly embarrassed by his stare, a deeper blush finding a way onto your cheeks emphasizing your growing pout. laughing fully now, his strong arms bring you closer as they wind around your waist sweetly.
unable to resist, you lightly kiss his jawline as his wandering hands brush some hair out of your face. âhmph, youâre such a dick and after everything i do for you tooâŚâ you playfully whisper without malice, leaning into his broad chest, rolling your eyes.
âmm.. how should i make it up to you?â he mumbles, slender hand tilting your chin up to force your gaze to look at him. as you bravely meet his tender gaze, you notice that something different was in his eyes.
âdamn, i gotta help you with that one too?â you tease, giggle blooming in your throat as he kisses our nose gently. âwell⌠i have a few ideas.â he hums, moving to kiss you fully, slow and sweet savouring you. âyou always doâŚâ you mutter, eyes on his grinning lips.Â
perhaps now he could answer suguruâs question he thought as you move to rest your head on his shoulder. satoru knew he wanted you. holding you in his arms now, feeling your shy smile on his neck â he knew that you were something good.
requests are open a/n: they did not make it to the meeting lol ngl this request was tough, but i loved the challenge of writing my first smoochie smoochie scene.
dividers by @/adornedwithlight
#gojo satoru x reader#gojou satoru x reader#satoru gojo x reader#satoru gojou x reader#jujutsu kaisen#gojo x reader#satoru gojo#gojo satoru#jjk gojo#jjk#satoru gojo imagine#satoru gojo x you#satoru gojo fluff#gojo satoru imagine#gojo satoru fluff#gojo satoru x you#suguru geto#ieri shoko#jjk fluff#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#jjk x reader#jjk x you#gojo saturo#satoru gojĹ x reader#jjk drabble#gojo imagine
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Mastermind live thoughts [Spoilers below cut]
The animation is amazing like oh my god! đ
Ah, gonna be the Stolas trial I see
Andre stop flirting with your sister
â¨Unpaid internsâ¨
Fuck.. double trial I see
RUN
Be fucking faster
Why do they sound like the cherubs
What is thisâŚ.?
âFace the musicâ is honestly a bit too funny
Trailer scene time!
FUCK
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
Blitz you donât deserve to be deadnamed :/
???
Andre what did I just say, stop flirting with her, at some point comphet is cursed
Oh thank Satan (?) that Blitz actually defended himself against the possibility he forced himself onto Stolas
Candle head in Wrath?
Vassago bilingual? And he here!
Donât you wanna take Stolas down first??
Yep.. they are claiming Blitz S/Aâd Stolas in the trial. Fuck. At least hopefully the Blitz antis will realise theyâre wrong in the episode
Bestie (/s) I think you got Blitz and your sisterâs names confused. Put Stella on trial coward
Grimour, Stricker
You tell them Blitz!
Poor Mox :(
Go off Bea!! /pos
Yep you too Ozz! Tell âem
Mammon arenât you Ace?? Donât you want not to be fucked??
Satan looks a lot more like a Candlehead than I wouldâve thought
How is this not the finale?? AAAA
Well shitâŚ.
Yay! Classism!
Poor Fizz, seeing your best friend (?) almost get executed live on TV! TF
Blitz sacrifices himself (tries to) <//3
(My hc) âBitches (Blitz) say âI wanna dieâ like a broken record, but when you almost get executed on live tv, you shit yourself
Stolas save your future boyfriend now!!!
Go off Blitz! Tell âem off on their classism
As much as I understand not liking racial coding, .. Blitz and imps in general especially in this episode are very POC coded, with a lot of heâll just being racist
</3
No Blitz donât accept your fate đđđđ���đ
Stolas ex machena please please please please
đđđđđđ
Why Blitz must you care so fucking much about your family and if I could cry Iâm pretty sure I would be by now
The screencap I paused on is so pretty.. To bad itâs Blitz getting executed (And almost made me wanna cry) or Iâd make it my banner
Aaaaa
Fuck yes Stolas!!
Blitz is saved !! â¨âď¸đ
Boyfriends protecting eachother đ
Yay! Songs! <3
XD âhalf a brainâ
âSome kind of Mastermind-â roll credits
Stolas I know youâre dealing with rascists but please donât act like that with Blitz rn ur doing a regression and I hope itâs an act
Nevermind lol kinda
Yep. This is a clear racial allegory. No hiding it now
Fancy ahh reveal Stolas
Also we just shifted the âIâll sacrifice for my loved onesâ horse to Stolas instead of Blitz
Stolas ur an idiot too
Fuck yes! Romantic ish Stolitz duet part!
No Blitz you fucking deserve to live <333
And Iâm back too âif only tears could fallâ again.. Please Blitz take his sacrifice and save him after that till the system breaks and you two will be free
Either death or.. whatever happened last two episodes
Shit
Where is Lucifer? Just because Luciâs in his depression era doesnât mean you are the ruler of hell Satan
Oh nevermind
The sins have existed before Luci fell. Interesting
Blitz is so defensive over Stolas and his life ahh đđ
Step 1: *Panic* , Step 2: âWow this is a sturdy doorâ
Blitz is being silly but not swearing so he must be concealing his emotions again
<33 Group hug <33
Are we starting some weird chain now (Octavia was now alerted and running for Stolas)
Or not..
Poor Via </3
Loophole! Also more racism allegory!
Banishing him is actually a decent idea (for once)
Ohhh Andrealphus just wants power. Honestly I should have figured sooner lol
If this is Mastermind then what the actual fuck will Sinmas be (unless itâs another Queen Bee situation)
100 years.. So have a relationship with Blitz and once thatâs done go back to royalty! Sounds great!
..wait are we getting imp Stolas
Nevermind lol. Just hatless
He will enjoy very much
Ooh!~ Our theories were right! (Stolas must also learn classism the hard way for a bit)
So the white pupils are permanent now
<3
OMG Blitz hero! Yay!!! <3
<3333
Blitz is at an all time high and Stolas is at an all time low.. interesting
<33333
So.. are they immediately dating now?
THIS WAS ALL SO AMAZING!! Favourite episode now!
#helluva boss#mastermind#helluva boss mastermind#helluva boss spoilers#mastermind spoilers#v goes crazy textpost style#hb spoilers
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#how did i not do this sooner i do not understand#i KNOW luffy would love to gaze at zoro#all calm and pretty#and zoro would NOT be able to calm down shebhrjsjt#one piece#monkey d luffy#roronoa zoro#zolu#luzo
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I can't stop thinking about Colin on his travels. Colin, alone, on a journey to 17 different cities, across several countries. Colin on his own.
Colin who writes letter after letter, to his family, to his friends, and barely gets a response back. How long before he understands that they didn't get lost in the mail? How long until he realizes that, just like when he was a boy, no one has the time for him? The space for him? How many letters unanswered before he lets it finally take root and fester in his mind?
He could have died on that tour.
Would they even notice? Would they see when the letters slow until they cease? Would they wonder why? His mum, surely (maybe, possibly, but she has enough on her hands, besides, and he's never been a concern, in need of her assistance, before), but anyone else? Anthony on his honeymoon, Eloise a stormcloud personified, Benedict taking on the familial responsibilities, Fran preparing for the marriage mart and in Bath, regardless. Daphne, his closest sister, a mum running her own estate.
Greg and Hyacinth who enjoy his stories, but are children.
Pen who ignores him. No explanation, no goodbye.
Colin who has no one in his corner. Colin who travels city to city, putting on personas. Will they like me? What about now? Colin who has hardly anything to read from the people he loves. Who do not think of him.
And yet he thinks of them. Brings them back gifts, writes his recollections for them until it hits him that, oh, they don't care. They don't care what he's doing, how he's doing. They didn't want to hear it before, when he was there with them, and they do not want to hear it now, either. Did they even open those envelopes? Did they see them come through the post, just as proof he's alive, and shrug off the contents? Did they look? Once, Colin sends an empty page. No one notices. Easier, then, to send just the outsides. People only ever care about the outsides. Pretty and prim in neat packages, uncaring of what lies beneath. Sea sick on the rocking boats, staring up at stars on the continent, Colin grows aware, but not bitter. Sad, but resigned.
He loves his family, he loves Pen, loves them to grace, loves them to it's okay. It was him, he determines. Too chatty, his letters too long, uninteresting, his passions dull or droll, or else, worse, he's displeased them in some way. Colin who takes refuge in stranger's arms and homes, who dreams and tries to sate his curiosity. Colin who pretends, because anyone, anyone but him would be received better, he's sure of it. Colin who must talk too much, surely, and with no one to listen. Colin who learns to hush.
Yes. Remarkable- as in, I have many remarks about it.
How many times did he go to excitedly write of what he did that week, and stopped himself, knowing it was a waste? How many times did he write and throw into the fire a letter asking Why don't you see me? Why don't you care?
If he didn't make it, how long would it take for anyone to notice? A month? Two? A year? Would they wave it off as his frivolity, denounce him as a flake and fume about the funds? Would they wonder where it was he had lost himself off at?
He cannot fall into that, so, he writes in his journal, instead. Of the ache of it, of how he longs for connection, for understanding, for someone to take him seriously. He keeps it with him, this log of his discontent, of his folly and felicity, of his pitfalls and pains.
If he didn't make it, would they realize all that's left of him is what he sent them, not even a body to bury? Did he look over the side of a bow of a boat and look at the churn of the ocean and think of how many bones it held? Did he tip his face to the sun? How many new scars did he earn? Who did he befriend?
Who did he become?
Somewhere along the line, Colin learned. He learned the real him wasn't wanted.
Somewhere along the line, somewhere between Patmos and Paris, Colin left Colin behind.
And, somewhere along the line, Colin laid face to face with loneliness in his bed, and it wrapped its arms around him.
#colin bridgerton#bridgerton#polin#say what you will- i understand why pen did it- but i still think ghosting your friend with no explanation#when he's off on a journey he could very well die on. . .not great#and what the fuck else was his family doing that they couldn't respond to his letters? they are aristocrats living in an off season#in the country- write a letter back to your son/brother who could perish in a land where no one knows him#idk i think about this a lot like colin was just. . .so uncared for and so unseen#he went off on travels to Europe in the early 1800s#anything could have killed him#and eloise last told him his letters slogged on and on and if he liked it so much he should have stayed#in an ideal world when colin said he apologized for what he said pen would ALSO apologize for not telling him sooner#i don't think she realizes just how lonely colin actually is#just how unseen he is#she thinks like so many others think that he's a popular man and oh so well regarded#that colin isn't real#colin isn't listened to- i wish more people would have empathy for him about that
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mmm essay about sally and kid gort in the tags (cw for child abuse, mentions of suicide, animal cruelty and a murder attempt. i always hope i donât have to say this but just in case: i donât excuse or condone any of her or gortâs behaviour at all.) this is literally not even touching upon everything i have to say because i hit the fucking tag limit lmao. NOBODY READ ITâS BAD BRAINSTORMING I JUST NEEDED TO GET IT OUT SOMEHOW
#thinkin too much about gortie side characters again.#sally this time and why she specifically talks about him the way she does#like dravo is obviously still shitty but to me he was. âjust âneglectful#while sally actively hated and even felt terrorised by her own child#like. itâs not like i donât understand her at all.#imagine you and your love donât have much besides each other and your shop and you get pregnant and ready to raise a child#only for it to not be a child he didnât and doesnât cry ever and he learns everything so much sooner than most but then he never calls you#his parents and itâs not just a petty thing kids do sometimes you feel that he doesnât see you as family and the worst part is that you#agree deep down#and as he gets older he doesnât have any friends and actively rejects the notion of the entire concept#but then as time passes you hear about how he has entire groups of children following him and then several of them commit suicide#and that thing coming to sit with you and dravo at the dinner table says that he did what you did last week when the axe to chop wood broke#and you discarded it and got a new one#and he has these habits of ripping out flowers and making sure that they donât regrow#and then you hear rumours about a friendâs daughterâs cat disappearing and think nothing of it#until you visit his tree house a month later and find a declawed cat and birds with clipped wings and crushed bugs that he keeps fondly#and then you see him with other children and they donât know and his face is different and body language is entirely different#and were it not for the fact that you know better you would never see anything but a normal child#and you know that you are one who painstakingly brought this thing that should not be into the world and so you decide to end it all one da#and go to him as heâs asleep with the knife shaking in your hand#but he cries when youâre above him! screams at the top of his lungs!#so you beg for forgiveness even though you donât deserve it through tears but as soon as the knife is put away you see the act drop and fee#his clever fingers having twisted your brain inside and out and you know that you can do nothing#and so the opportunity arises to at least remove him out of your life if not everyoneâs lives and you take it immediately.#but you heard him talk. how he will close his fist around the world one day. and you know that it is not a matter of if but when.#like. imagine that. jesus dude.#like i hc her as someone that is messy and does not know a lot about life and she certainly wouldnât have been a good mother but the love#or at least desire to love is there somewhere. and believing that having a child is really the only somewhat meaningful thing she can do#with her life. sheâs not some hero or rich or anything of note. so thereâs a lot obligation and not genuine desire for family here.#but she never really got the chance to be an actual mother in the first place so. who knows what that might have looked like
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Me, when Sebastian joins my party for the first time: Okay, this time I'm not going to forget about you, Sebastian. I'm going to make an effort to use you a lot this playthrough so I can better understand you.
Also me, immediately forgetting about Sebastian while finishing Act 2 and making it halfway through Act 3 before I finally notice his Faith quest: ......................Oh. Right. My bad.
#da2#dragon age 2#sebastian vael#listen in my defense..........i don't like bringing sebastian anywhere sksksks#okay look i seriously tried but every time i bring him somewhere i always think man i wish i had brought someone else#and also i do just forget about him! i finally added him to my party at one point and he had 24 points to spend...#that's how long i neglected him after i promised myself i was gonna use him more and then i didn't#it's not that i don't like sebastian as a character though i do tend to side eye him A LOT... it's just that i like everyone else more#even aveline like i'd take aveline over sebastian any day and that's saying something... or is it? i have a lot of feelings about aveline#whereas my feelings about sebastian could maybe fill a thimble...it doesn't help that in my canon run as a mage hawke#i romance anders and well... sebastian wants me to kill anders and my hawke is like 'do i approve of blowing up the chantry? complicated.'#'am i breaking up with anders for this? absolutely. do i still love him? mmhmmm. am i going to kill him sebby? i'd sooner set varric aflame#then sebastian threatens to bring an army to kirkwall and leaves so i can't say i have the greatest opinion on him#even the time where i did kill anders and he stayed in my party he was just... there#and then he glitched out and started t posing while asking if ed ever found out what anders wanted to do in the chantry so..... yeah#but even this playthrough where i'm playing as a lady warrior with a different personality and everything... i'd just rather use anyone els#also keep him away from bethany i do not approve sksksks she's too good for him#i want to understand and see the different angles of him like with the other companions but i've yet to convince myself to do it#also sebastian romancers out there can you like... explain? genuinely can you explain the appeal? i'm curious#because of all the love interests in da2 i look at sebastian and you'd think i'd maybe be more interested? but it's like...#i know about the chaste marriage and everything like that's fine i don't need sex to be a thing in the relationship but it feels less like#an asexual romance and more like... y'know... being with a priest and i guess that's just not one of my kinks? sksksks#i guess there's also the prince angle but i romanced alistair in dao and kept him a grey warden i don't really care about royalty power#and i don't have issues with him being a part of the chantry [well i do but yknow what i mean] since i romanced cullen in dai#and his whole deal with the chantry and magic and shit makes his romance interesting to me but sebastian is just.... a bit too much i think#i don't know i'd like to understand because i really don't but i also keep forgetting about him
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do you ever like. owe someone an apology but you dont feel sorry because you did everything you were supposed to and nothing more (and they were totally being dicks about it), but you do also feel bad for how things went down
#im sorry i left you at the bus stop when i didnt have gas to take you all the way to your dorm#but the bus is free and i showed you how to use it#the bus stop is on campus so i did what i was suppsoed to do (take you to the field placement and get you back to campus)#even if you didnt like it it WAS on the campus#and i use it all the time so i know you can use it too#i got on the bus and told you you could get on the bus too#but you called someone else to pick you up#i dont understand#is it that youre stubborn or is it that you dont give a shit about my boundaries and what i can and cannot do?#im out of gas and im out of money driving any longer i would be past the point of no return#i needed to get home#& you wanted me to use the last of my gas to get you to a dorm you could have walked to and had public transportation to get you to as well#how fucking inconsiderate do you have to be#yeah i left you at the fucking bus stop#i should have been dropping you off at the bus stop all semester#im sorry i didnt set my boundaries sooner#im sorry you spent all summer on campus and never learned how to use the bus i really wonder how you managed before i got here#but im not sorry for what i did. im just sorry that you didn't have the independence to handle it from there
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mildly freaking out because i found the league wiki page holding the odyssey: extraction english announcer lines that I have been searching for. forever. for years. for these lines for both referencing and nostalgia purposes.
#彥 ooc#i just got up but i need to lay down again#grabs you by the shoulders: hey. did you know that odyssey: extraction had the voice actors for jinx ziggs kayn and rhaast have unique-#lines for the game mode specifically. like lines of voice acting that will never be heard again in game on par with the kayn and rhaast-#announcer pack that was played on sr at the time of 2018 that the extraction game mode was available.#do you see how much love was poured into this skinline. do you see.#彥 scraping your face on the sky â odyssey#fk it im making sure i can find this again JUST IN CASE w a tag#okay seeing that it was only made in 2022 and still edited in december 2023 makes me feel a little better abt not seeing it sooner#but im STILL REELING FROM HAPPINESS??? MY LONGEST WAHOOOOO#without this page these lines were basically lost media and i am not kidding. do you understand.
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still very disappointed they cheated us by making this guy be able to uwu his way out of being a villain
#like no rly how did they come up with this character in por and then ruin him in rd#i love him as a villain but then rd rly tried to pull the whole ''sad backstory makes it all better''#when even sephiran didn't get that. he got ''sad backstory doesn't make it all better but makes it understandable''#and he was given another chance when he accepted his mistakes and stopped being gung ho about Ashera wiping out humanity#it's like they tried to make it seem like it was all okay bc zelgius was honorable and stuff#so now all his evils are just okay and erased and it's not so bad that he did a LOT of horrible things#and now mind you it's not like we STARTED with a backstory for him#it's not like they gave us a backstory early on for us to feel bad for him and want the best for him#they gave us a straight up wretched villain for the entire ass game!!!#he even said he'd kill the whole family by the roots when mist wanted revenge!#like if they gave us a backstory much sooner and toned him down that'd be one thing#but they left us with this version of him for an entire game and never indicated anything abt a backstory#mind you tho it didn't stop there bc he still did pretty horrible shit in rd too#that gets swept under the rug entirely if you don't bring tibarn to the tower#and even if you do it gets brought up again and then swept under the rug anyway#he was as bad as ashnard in por so it's like... why suddenly make him seem like a Good Dude#bc all it makes it look like to me is He's A Good Dude Who Just Did A Whole Lot Of Seriously Horrible Things#which like again I could get behind if we'd been given his story early enough and he wasn't as villainous as he is#but he also made the decision on his own to be the way he is. it wasn't a matter of circumstance of any kind#he's doing it all willingly. no amount of ''but I was born a Branded'' makes it any better. Stefan and Soren ain't doin' that shit#it's just sad to me that eh they ruined a perfectly good actual villain who like WAS a full on villain#it's not like an antagonist with unfortunate reasons. he was just... a bad dude doing bad things#and he didn't do it all for Sephiran either bc he did a LOT of shit independent of Sephiran's orders#I just feel like they absolved him of all his many crimes bc he was like ''man I sure did love my teacher who I willingly murdered!!!''#let's just ignore the fact that he threatened ike and mist too and would've killed ike right in front of greil#if caineghis hadn't been there to stop him. like. idk. yikes???#as a villain i like him and i know rd was planned already and there are seeds planted all over por but#they didn't have him as a non-villain shown to be planned and stuff you know??#DCB Path of radiance Stuff#DCB Radiant Dawn Stuff
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"it's easier to leave an abusive situation than it is to stop an abuser" :^( but it's not easy :^(
#repeating patterns repeating patterns repeating patterns repeating patterns#im not unsafe btw just. :^) scared :^)#tired.#starting to stop walking on eggshells kind of. in a cowardly way. like responding some of my real thoughts but at 4am#i want to scream. im not like that but i want to yell and tell her to leave me alone forever and i just want to be able to rest !#and to not be afraid. i want to move. i want to drop off the face of the earth. i want to go to bed. i want to stay awake and on guard.#idk. im tired. im so tired and i want it to stop. it's not even a big deal.#the thinly veiled insults bother me more than anything else. insult sandwich on compliment bread.#im so pretty im so stupid im so funny. im smart im too insecure im beautiful. im the most interesting person she knows im evil im talented#it's not even the worst thing it just pisses me off so much. do you think this is helpful to say? do you think this is normal?#do you think you'll get what you want insulting and belittling me as long as you tell me you think im attractive?#it's always how pretty i am. like some superficial bullshit is going to make up for an insult or make the insult disappear#and everyone else gets to leave but if i leave she'll die and it'll be all my fault and this is just like x y or z#and didnt i know she almost experienced trauma as a child but didnt? and how that effects her?#fuck. i hope she sees this tbh. how fucking insulting to see something someone's experienced and say that couldve maybe happened to me#but the person who couldve done it lives in another country and never came here.#what the fuck. what the fuck.#so it didnt happen to you? you cant lay claim to it at all? yet you think you understand me or that even if it did happen it's all the same#im going to lose my mind. im so. fucking. over it. but im a coward and i dont want her to die so ill grin and bear it.#and she'll tear out all my skin and ask if it's a little too much and ill say it's fine and she'll say im so gorgeous but i'm disgusting#but at least im kind. and ill say okay. because if i say anything else it's a threat on her fucking life.#tbh im only posting this now bc i know no one will likely read it. perpetual coward when it comes to this shit#because if i tell someone the full extent they'll ask why i didn't leave sooner. but i did!#i left and i got bombarded and overwhelmed and i was so tired of being scared of running into her everywhere#and i just. eased back in. and said it would be less this time. and it is so much more. it is so much worse.#ive lived in that fear before and i was so tired of it. it was a big reason i moved so far for college. and i cant just run away#so this seemed better. but it's so much worse. id rather hide every day of my life. keep an eye out everywhere and run away.#it wasnt so bad really. it was tedious and nauseating and i only ever explained it to one person. but it wasnt impossible.#this is much closer to impossible. this is soul crushing every day. and the things she does arent even as bad i dont think#it just doesnt stop. at least in high school i eventually got it to stop. i just had to be avoidant. this. wont stop.
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I love overthinking things just for them to be so simple as to not even be worth mentioning
#she's writing (shocked)#and its this narnia fic I started in january#and I have been stressing about the pc jadis scene for literal months#and I've gotten close to writing it like eight times and then just haven't because I didn't like where it was going#because where it was going was right#like they didn't fit even though I know how I could make them fit#that really is the best (worst) feeling as a writer#and then#tonight#as I lay in bed and write while rewatching the pc movie#I come to the realization that#yes#where I am works#and I can use the movie version of the scene without it being too contrived#because my caspian and moive caspian are in roughly the same emotional state#and now my mind is clear#and life is right again#and I am happy#and I understand that I could not have had this realization months ago because I have about 10k more words than I did then#and I've probably written so much more than that#and I understand the characters and the story more because I've spent so much time with it#but dear lord do I wish I had had this realization sooner#I still have no idea how it ends#but thats another problem that I will actually get to face now that I have solved this problem#maybe it will be as simple to solve as this one was#maybe I will not overthink it as much as I did this one
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