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cultleaderyoongi · 1 year

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With You, All The Way | myg

☆ pairing: Yoongi x f. reader

☆ genre: ex2l, pwp • angst, smut, fluff

☆ word count: 10k (I have no excuse except for I'm frustrated)

☆ warnings: toxic stuff happens, a lot of miscommunication; a lot of making up and making out; some cursing; mentions of alcohol; explicit smut – kinda soft dom!Yoongi, breast/nipple play (he's kinda a boob guy), fingering, eating out, handjob, blowjob, penetrative sex, unprotected sex (reader is on birth control tho which is mentioned), multiple orgasms, simultaneous orgasms, creampie, some praise, some aftercare

☆ synopsis: Break-ups are rough, more so if you and your ex share the same friend circle. How could a simple and supposedly tame night full of fun games change the trajectory of your relationship that is no more?

☆ playlist: Tinashe – Perfect Crime | Alina Baraz – Between Us | Kali Uchis – Moonlight

☆ a/n: Guess who's back after *checking imaginary watch on my wrist* almost a year 💀 Did I whip this out within approximately two weeks? Maybe. This is the fastest I've ever written, so therefore it's sloppily edited – especially towards the end (I'm not a fast writer, ok? I'll come back to edit it soon). Listen, I was super heartbroken about the concert (still am), so my mind conjured up this beast of a delusional, self-indulgent story. Pls think of me when you go see my man live, especially if it's the Newark show tonight 😭

I started off this story with Marie Claire Yoongi in mind, but with the release of D-Day it turned more and more into Haegeum Yoongi, sooo...feel free to imagine whichever version you want. Happy D-Day era to y'all! Lmk what's your favorite track, your favorite look, your favorite whatever. Let's talk and suffer together lol

Enough of my rambling though. I hope you enjoy reading! As always, if you do – thank you and pls lmk what you think ♡

☆ taglist: @main-bangtansmauyeondan @jwlmnbt (I'm really horrible at keeping track of my taglist which is also due to my inconsistent posting, but if you see this and you remember wanting to be on my practically non-existent permanent taglist pls lmk)

You shouldn't be here.

You really shouldn't.

Whose idea was it to bring everyone together for a night of fun activities and drinks? Whose stupid idea was it to invite you when your least favorite person in the world is going to be present as well? And furthermore, whose stupid idea was it to seat the two of you within clear vision of each other?

"Don't hate the player, hate the game." Your friend Jimin, the host and therefore perpetrator of all this, speaks with a smirk as if to answer your internal monologue, watching your other friend Jungkook pick up eight colorful cards after being hit with two subsequent draw fours.

Laughter goes around the circle as the youngest tries to rearrange the abundance of cards in his hands.

Truth be told, you could've declined. It's not Jimin's fault things went south with you and the man whose glare avoids you as if his life depends on it. Yet you spot glimpses of his feline eyes set on you when he least expects it, catching him off-guard – and suddenly the fluffy, white rug beneath his feet is a lot more interesting to look at.

"Oh Jungkook, you're almost as rich as Taehyung!" Seokjin jokes, drawing your attention back to the group.

Hoseok joins in, accompanied by an animated cackle. "You're giving Taehyung a run for his money."

You muster said boy beside you, his brows furrowed and tongue poking out in focus. He can barely spread out his set of cards without dropping any. Poor Taehyung.

As the game continues and more and more people yell out Uno in relief until a loser is revealed (it's a close and tedious match between Jungkook and Taehyung, but at the end Jungkook pulls through) you pay close attention to the way Yoongi toys with the rings on his fingers. He always does this when he's anxious. His action is incessant, almost obnoxious in your eyes. You don't like being here any less than he does, but at least you try your damn hardest to pull yourself together in front of your friends. They're your friends as well as his. You haven't had the chance to see them as much lately while he gets to see them all the time – they live together, for fuck's sake!

"_____." Jimin's voice pulls you back to reality. "Lend me a hand?"

"Uh yeah, sure." You spring up from your seat, realizing Jimin asks for your help clearing the table.

While he collects the cards strewn across the coffee table, you make move of collecting empty bottles and cans. In your position, you're slightly hunched over the surface which involuntarily causes one thing to happen.

Your suspicion is confirmed when you look up at your ex-boyfriend shamelessly staring at your cleavage. There's a split second where you make direct eye contact once he grasps the situation – and now things are ten times more awkward.

Taking a deep inhale, you place everything on the kitchen island nearby before returning to your seat. You muster Yoongi's stone-cold, almost dead-like expression. To anyone that didn't witness what happened seconds ago, it probably looks like the regular go-to mood for Min Yoongi. But you can catch the tiny movement of teeth nibbling on the inside of his bottom lip. Oh, he's frustrated. You can't quite determine yet if you're proud of this achievement.

Meanwhile, Jimin sets up the next game.

"This doesn't look like a safe game to be around Namjoon-hyung," Jungkook murmurs, inspecting the tower of wooden blocks stacked on top of each other.

"Hey!" Namjoon retorts to the boy, his lips pulled into a slight pout. "I can play Jenga alright. Just you watch."

There are noises of disagreement going around the group, some of the guys sharing anecdotes on things Namjoon has accidentally broken recently.

"There's a little twist, by the way," Jimin informs everyone amidst the commotion. "Each block has an instruction on the bottom. Kinda like truth or dare – but you don't get to choose."

"Oh!" Seokjin claps his hands once in excitement. "Now we're talking."

Of course, leave it to Park Jimin to make an already awkward evening even more awkward by potentially causing ruckus with whatever tasks he gives out to people. Great.

After a match of rock, paper, scissor to determine who starts (which is Namjoon who already almost has the tower topple over by crouching down to the table), the first few turns go by in a breeze. Nothing too out of the ordinary has been requested yet. Taehyung choosing Jimin if he had to pick someone he would date out of the bunch or Jungkook giving Hoseok a lap dance like there's no tomorrow seem like natural occurrences for a Saturday night in this house.

"My turn," you murmur as you bend over until you reach the stack. Carefully, you pick a piece from the lower half, smiling to yourself as it slips out with ease. That smile fades though as soon as it appears when you flip over the block to read out the demand: kiss a person of your choice (on the lips! No less than 10 seconds).

There are multiple Oohs going around the group. Some are of surprised and enthusiastic nature – some stem from a place of concern.

You're rooted in place, your mouth running dry at the idea of... What exactly? There's nothing to be nervous about. Most of the guys (emphasis on most) wouldn't even make such a big deal out of this for your sake. Also, you're not blind. You've got handsome friends for sure. Each and every single one of them. It's the thought of him and the consequences. Whatever that may entail.

"I don't think this is right." Namjoon comes to your rescue, most likely sensing your discomfort.

"Why not?" Taehyung asks in earnest, visibly confused about the elder's remark. "She's a free woman. She's free to do whatever."

"Hyung," Jungkook chimes in, "I know for a fact she's not gonna kiss you. You can stop sucking up to her."

The youngest's savage comment has everyone in a laughing fit – everyone except for Yoongi of course.

Uncertainty takes over your mind, covering it in a thick blanket. It's been three months since the two of you broke up. Are you still hung up on him? Yes. A hundred percent yes. Does the same apply to him? You can't say for sure. He's been eerily quiet the entire evening, almost too quiet for your liking. He could either be hiding his innermost thoughts or he actually doesn't give a single fuck about you anymore.

Once the laughter dies down, the sound of his all too familiar voice has you lifting your eyes from the little troublemaker in your hand.

"He's right," Yoongi points out plainly, referring to Taehyung. "She can do whatever she pleases. I don't care."

As he finishes up with a sip of his whiskey, the room falls silent. Nobody dares so much as even breathe. Everyone exchanges looks between each other ranging from unease to utter shock.

So he really doesn't care.

"Okay." You catch his attention with these two syllables, his eyes never straying from you as you place the wooden piece on top of the tower. Making your way over to his side of the couch, you maintain eye contact throughout. There's a slight twitch noticeable in his eyes, confusion taking over his features. Once in front of him, you bend over before leaning in – only you redirect at the last second, wrapping your arms around Seokjin's neck who's sitting next to him. You give it no second thought, planting your lips onto his in an instant.

Although in tunnel vision, you can still hear the gasps around the room. You didn't think this through, but you have to commit now which is why you slightly intensify the kiss by parting your lips. Your hunched-over position becomes uncomfortable though, causing you to drop down to one knee beside Seokjin's thigh on the cushion.

He welcomes the closer vicinity, holding you by your waist with gentle hands.

Has it been ten seconds yet? You have no idea. You assume Jimin would count down, but he's probably too stupefied like the rest of them. Throwing in the tiniest of tongue action for good measure, you part again rather sooner than later. A clear sheen of lip gloss and saliva covers your friend's plush lips. His ears are flushed almost a hot pink.

Your job here is done.

Clearing your throat, you turn around to no one in particular. "I'm gonna go to the bathroom. You can keep playing without me."

And with that, you brush past Yoongi's frozen form, ignoring the whispers going around the room.

You've been warned about the sink in the downstairs bathroom not working (once again, courtesy of Namjoon), so you swiftly climb up the flight of stairs to the upstairs bathroom.

Closing the door behind you, you let out a loud exhale before you make your way over to the sink. You don't have to use the bathroom. You just need a minute to breathe. Or two. Or five.

You look up at your reflection in the mirror, the telltale sign of the kiss written all over your lips. Had you known this is how things are going to pan out, you would've opted for smudge-proof lipstick. Turning on the faucet, you dab some water onto the pad of your finger to wipe at the corners of your mouth.

What have you done?

A knock on the door startles you.

"What?" you ask, wondering who it is.

"Let me in."

The deep, raspy tone coming from the other side of the door draws an annoyed sigh out of you. "I'm peeing," you answer flatly.

"No, you're not."

Another heavier sigh passes your lips this time. He's the last person you want to see right now, but something tells you to give in still. "What do you want?" you bite as you swing open the door with so much power you almost detach it from its hinges.

Yoongi steps over the threshold, closing it behind him with equal force. The impact causes the door handle to rattle. He watches you wander back over to the sink, irritation marking every inch of his face. "What the fuck was that for?" he spits with so much venom it's far from characteristic of him.

"What do you mean 'what the fuck was that for'?" You turn to face the mirror, inspecting yourself again. "I did what was expected of me."

Coming up behind you, your ex-boyfriend shoots daggers at you through the reflection. "Are you fucking kidding me? That was way more than what was expected of you!"

"What's your fucking problem? You made it clear in front of everyone, including me, you don't care. Besides"–with your blood pumping hot through your veins, you spin around looking him dead in the eye–"you wanted this. You ended this." You point back and forth between the two of you. "So you don't get to complain now."

He stares you down with what you can now decipher as hurt and rage. "Don't talk about our relationship like it was just a thing. For fuck's sake, _____! We were together for almost two years." His growing distress shows as he rushes a hand through his pitch-black hair. "You took equal part in the downfall. You took equal part in the decision."

A small scoff comes to the surface. "Are you actually listening to yourself? You sat me down and told me this wasn't gonna work out – not me. You came up with all the excuses you're too busy and your career doesn't allow a stable life when you know very well I've tried everything in my willpower to make things work."

His features contort more into agony. "That's because you were never satisfied with my solutions. Who says you were the only one trying to make things work? Nothing was ever good enough for you. I know I have a busy lifestyle, but things always have to go according to your plan. You immediately shut down whenever I suggest something that's not part of your vision."

You roll your eyes at him, partially in anger but also in a poor attempt at keeping your tears at bay. He's not entirely wrong, you're aware of that. It wasn't easy with him, but you could be equally as stubborn. At the time, the glass was simply too broken to put back together – no matter how hard any of you tried. Maybe you needed the time apart to see clearer.

"These past three months were hell for me," you confess suddenly, dropping your head in shame.

There's a beat of silence following your words. "For me as well," Yoongi finally answers, his voice coming out barely above a whisper.

"How come we're so bad at this?" It's more of a rhetorical question, but you genuinely wonder how you managed to stay together this long.

Another pause settles in before Yoongi speaks up again. "I don't think we're bad at relationships. There are things we need to work on, sure. But these things don't come overnight." After wetting his lips tentatively, he continues, "We're already making big progress by talking about this – even if we wanted to strangle each other seconds ago. If anything, we needed this in order to finally be honest and not hide behind a façade anymore."

Your mind takes you back to that fateful day when you talked each other through the break-up. Things were convoluted as you convinced each other you didn't see any future in being together just to avoid addressing the truth and finding a common denominator. It seemed easier this way, running away from your problems and saving face in the process.

Now look where it led you – the worst outcome possible.

Catching a stray tear rolling down your cheek, you muster up the courage to look at him again. "What do we do now?"

He lets out a low hum at the sight of you, his hand coming up to carefully wipe another tear close to spilling from the corner of your eye. "I don't know. All I know is I don't like this. The distance, the avoidance – the animosity."

"Yeah." You let his words hang heavy in the room. Hard agree on this one. "Neither do I."

"And I certainly don't like seeing you make out with someone else right in front of my face – let alone Jin-hyung at that."

His comment has you chuckling lightly. "To be fair, I didn't enjoy it as much as you'd think."

"You're joking." He breaks out into his signature gummy smirk. "Worldwide Handsome didn't do it for you?"

You shake your head, a small smile forming on your face. "He's not you."

At that, his grin grows even wider, his eyes turning into downturned crescents.

"I'm sorry, by the way." You play with one of the bracelets around your wrist, tugging at the golden chain.

Yoongi reaches for your arm, most likely out of reflex as he notices your hesitation. "It's okay. I'm sorry, too." Dropping his hand, he elaborates, "I overreacted earlier. You're not... We're not..."

He struggles to finish his thought, but you know exactly what he's trying to say. "Do you want to be?" you drawl, immediately wincing at how desperate you sound. Maybe it's still too early for this.

Your concern dissipates as his eyes light up in an instant. "Of course," he murmurs. "I've always wanted to."

The corners of your lips tug upwards again at that. "I do, too," you follow up though you're sure he already figured.

What a serious turn of events. Who would've thought things were going to work out this way? You could hug the world right now. Hell, you could hug the entire universe.

"Should we..." he starts, a mischievous glint glossing over his irises, "shake hands on this?"

Bursting into laughter, you shake your head at his ridiculous idea. "That's so formal. We're not business partners."

"Fine then."

Your laughter ceases instantly as he takes a few steps forward, slowly backing you into the marble countertop behind you.

"Should we hug it out instead?"

You watch the way his tongue swipes across his bottom lip as you're caged in between his arms, the closeness sending your mind reeling.

"Or do you have something else in mind?"

Swallowing down hard, your focus switches between his lips and the seductive gaze he holds you with. "A hug would be a start,” you croak out.

He sends you a crooked smile before releasing his grip around the corner of the sink, enveloping you with both arms for a tight bear hug, his cheek coming to a rest on your temple.

You welcome his touch, bending your arms that are stuck underneath his to clasp around his shoulders. An abundance of warmth and comfort washes over you, so you bury your face into the crook of his neck to take it all in. Words can't describe how much you missed this – how much you missed him.

The two of you stay like this for a while until Yoongi breaks the silence. "Just to be clear–"

You lift your head to get a proper look at him.

"–I do care. I always have, and I always will."

All trains of thought leave you as you stare at each other, the sincerity in his eyes granting them with a spark you haven't seen yet before. You swear there's a magnetic force involved, that's how strong the urge is when you slowly close the distance pressing your lips onto his.

Bliss overtakes you instantly, the familiar feeling of his lips bringing back all the memories of the past two years. Things were never easy between you, but you want to make it work this time no matter the cost.

Once you pull apart, all you can do is look at each other, completely at a loss for words. You catch the way Yoongi's focus switches back and forth between your eyes though, trailing down to your lips before coming back up where it ultimately stays.

He loosens one of his arms around you, bringing it up to rest his hand on the side of your neck. With his thumb, he rubs soothing circles into your cheek.

You close your eyes at his touch, unfurling an arm from behind his back to curl around his neck instead. The other follows the curve of his spine before enclosing around his waist.

"God..." Yoongi murmurs, his forehead coming to rest against yours. "I missed you so much."

Blinking your eyelids open, you catch the moment his open just a second later. "I missed you, too."

This time it's he who draws you in for a kiss, his hand gently tilting your head to the side to grant him access.

There's always been something super addictive about Yoongi's kisses. From the tingling sensation that infests your entire body starting at the top of your scalp all the way down to the soles of your feet, to the funny feeling in your core that has you weak in the knees and lose all sense of self – you could never get enough.

You're done for when he parts his mouth slightly, the tip of his tongue slipping through the seam of yours. You let out an involuntary moan, seeking solace as you tighten your grip around the cotton fabric of his shirt.

He steps closer causing you to part your legs to make space for him. With your torso bent backward into a small arch, he starts planting kisses along your jawline down your neck.

At this point, you're like wax in his hands. Of course he's more than familiar with your weak spots.

His hold around your waist wanders down to your thigh as he hooks your leg around his hip, gently hoisting you up on the countertop. In a painstakingly slow fashion, his lips flutter across your collarbone before they land above the cups of your bustier top.

You can feel his hand travel further up your thigh, shyly slipping beneath the denim fabric of your skirt. Before he can go any further, you gently grab him by the wrist.

Flustered, the male lifts his face from your cleavage. "Sorry, did I–"

"No," you interrupt him quickly. You don't want him to get the wrong idea. "Not here."

"What–"

Before he can ask any further questions, you climb off the counter, dragging him out of the bathroom down the dark hallway.

The door closes behind you with a silent click before you switch on the light.

You haven't seen this room since the break-up. It looks about the same, maybe a bit messier than you remember. The bed looks like it's been made in a hurry, there are a few more clothes strewn around than you're used to from your ex-boyfriend. You're unsure of the emotions that overcome you. They're something along the lines of guilt, shame – sadness.

In your daydream, you don't notice Yoongi coming to stand in front of you. "I'm sorry it's kinda messy," he apologizes, scratching the back of his head. "I didn't expect company tonight."

You solemnly shake your head. "It's fine. That's not it."

It's silent for a beat until he speaks up again. "We don't have to do anything if you don't want to."

Again, you shake your head. "I do though."

The man musters you sternly as if to read your mind. Then he cracks a small smile. "Okay. Me too."

One wouldn't be able to tell the two of you were engaged in a semi-heated make-out session just a minute ago with the way you're gradually closing the distance between you. But once your arms are slung around his neck again, the passion from before resurfaces in an instant.

His hold around your waist grows more desperate with each passing second, pulling you further into the room along with him until you reach the foot end of his bed. In between hungry kisses, he plops down onto the mattress with a soft thud.

You're still in a mostly upright position, a little bit hunched over with one knee propped up beside his thigh as you continue kissing him. It's comically similar to the scene from the living room – although this time it's with the right man. The realization has you chuckling against his lips.

"What's so funny?" he asks, breaking out into a smirk of his own.

You playfully nibble on his lower lip. "Nothing," you lie. "Just thought about how strange life is sometimes."

A tiny squeal escapes you as Yoongi suddenly drags you down with him, your arms coming out just right on time to cushion the fall. "Life is strange," he agrees. "But I like where it's leading us right now."

The mischief in his tone doesn't go unnoticed by you, so to wipe that smile off his face you lean down stealing another kiss from him. It starts off relatively tame before you try to rile him up ever so slowly, lowering your body until you're straddling his waist. Your tongues are fighting for dominance, but ultimately you have the upper hand in this as you pull away, watching him from above in all his glory. Or so you thought because the second you lay eyes on his fucked-out expression, his parted lips so plump and shiny and his pitch-black hair splayed out on the white comforter you swear you lose all sense of reality. Ethereal is the word that comes to your mind. He's nothing short of ethereal.

"Ah!"

Yoongi takes advantage of the situation while you're lost in your thoughts, flipping you over on your back. "Enjoying the view?" he jokes, his gummy smirk on full display.

You snort. "Maybe."

His lips are on you again immediately, retracing their path from earlier as he places kiss after kiss over the curvature of your chest. "So am I."

You're reduced to whimpers when he sucks love bites into your skin.

Once he pulls away to admire his work, he informs you with a straight face, "You know, I had a really hard time not staring when we were downstairs."

You bite your lip, patiently waiting for the revelation.

"But then you helped clearing the table, and they were practically in my face, so–"

"You missed my tits," you interject with an amused smile.

He chortles. "You make it sound so crude." Tracing the intricate flower embroidery covering your breasts with his finger, he elaborates, "Obviously, I love looking at all of you. Not just your tits."

The way he repeats the word has you burst into laughter.

"Stop laughing at me." His cheeks rise into full globes before his face falls again. "I'm serious, I missed seeing your face. You look really beautiful tonight."

Whatever bullshit you were about to say – it's gone. The way his words leave his lips with such sincerity and his eyes are set on you as if to imprint every single inch of your face in his brain renders you speechless. All you can do is show him that you missed him just as much – if not even more. Pulling him down to you by the nape of his neck, you press your lips together again, eagerly running your hand through the strands on the back of his head. It's gotten a little bit longer ever since you broke up, and admittedly you find it kind of sexy.

"In all seriousness though"–Yoongi mumbles in between kisses–"as beautiful as you look in this, I want if off now." Toying with the strap of your top, he gently glides it over your shoulder until it loses tension.

You comply with no questions asked, propping yourself up on your elbows. Yoongi catches on right away, reaching behind you to pull down the zipper. It always amused you how contradicting he could be, his patient character cracking when it came to intimacy, his soft-spoken nature turning more daring and demanding.

A low hum resonates from him at the sight of your bare breasts, and it doesn't take long until his attention is on them again, his hand cupping one of them while he bends down to take care of the other.

The sudden contact has you moaning out louder than you'd like. As he changes up the motions on your hardened nipple, it's hard to keep it down now. Throwing your head back, you relish the onslaught of suckles and licks, kisses and bites.

He switches sides, granting your other boob the same treatment while still squeezing the prior.

You're a mess, to say the least, the dampness sodding your panties a sure indicator of that.

As if he's living in your head, Yoongi's hand wanders down the expanse of your torso before stopping right under the hemline of your miniskirt. Tugging at the seam, he grumbles, "Take this off, too, baby."

The audacity to throw in the pet name as well – you've never been quicker at undressing up until this point. Your hands are shaky as you're fiddling with the button though, so Yoongi comes to the rescue, unbuttoning it at the speed of light yet the veins raking across his hands have your undivided attention, prolonging the moment to infinity.

He slides down from the bed to the floor, taking the obstructing clothing with him at the same time.

There's something about you being stripped down to your underwear whereas he's still dressed that sends uncontrollable tingles to your core.

While leaving fluttery pecks across your lower abdomen, the male slips a single digit under the fabric covering your crotch. "We haven't even started yet"–he places another peck closer to your pelvic mound–"but you're already so wet, baby."

A snarky response is on the tip of your tongue, something along the lines of it being a given when he's been playing with your boobs like a man possessed, but you swallow it down when he drags his finger over your folds, dipping the tip into your slit.

Your reaction is immediate, the whimper passing your lips drawing a smile onto his. "God, I can't wait to make you cum," he grunts, and with that his fingers hook around the waistband of your panties, removing the last remaining piece of clothing covering you.

Any sort of thought dissipates from your mind as he throws your thighs over his shoulders and his mouth connects with your center, licking up your arousal like it's a sport.

You're no stranger to the things he's capable of with his tongue, but this is no match to the times before. His moves are calculated yet determined, taking you to the brink of an orgasm in record time. There's no use holding back anymore, your hand covering your mouth doing little to nothing hiding your whines.

In between all the licking and sucking, Yoongi retracts for a split second, a wicked grin gracing his features. "Getting close?"

"Mh-hm," you hum out breathlessly. "Please don't stop."

He doesn't need another plea from you, his movements more eager than before as he continues eating you out.

Weaving your hand through his thick locks, you watch him from above. His eyebrows are furrowed as he focuses on your pleasure, his hands around your thighs digging deep into your flesh. This sight alone could have you cumming on the spot, but it's the switch-up from small kitten licks to suckles on your clit with the perfect amount of pressure that drives you over the edge. "I-I'm cumming, fuck!"

He guides you through your release, letting you grind on his face as he runs his hands over your thighs locked around his head in a tight grip. Once you're done riding it out, he presses one last kiss to your quivering core, smirking at the way you squirm over the sensitivity.

"Fuck," you curse again in disbelief. The room around you appears surreal. You watch the ceiling above you to regain consciousness. He essentially mouth-fucked you into oblivion.

A light kiss to your temple brings you back from wherever your mind was catapulted to. Outer space or another dimension. No one really knows for sure.

"Still with me?" Yoongi checks on you, his thumb rubbing tiny circles into the highpoint of your cheek.

You swallow down hard, willing your eyes to focus on his looking back at you. The deep brown of his irises resembles that of the Iced Americanos that he loves so much although warmer and more welcoming than the caffeinated drink. "Y-yeah," you manage out.

"Good." He bends down to peck your lips. "Thought I'd lost you for a second."

You might as well be lost for the rest of eternity. Your hands seek for harbor, digging into the sleeves of his jacket. "Take this off," you mumble, impatiently tugging at the garment.

"Alright." Yoongi chuckles at your cute antics, taking it off instantly.

You're not satisfied yet though, curling your hands around the hem of his shirt, dragging it upward until a sliver of his abdomen shows. "This, too."

He shushes you, grabbing ahold of your wrists. "Baby, you're getting too excited."

With your lips in a pout you protest, "I'm not. I just wanna take care of you, too."

His laughter resonates in your ears. "You're gonna get to take care of me soon enough." You're still pouting, so he comes up with a peace offering. "Here, how about this?" Guiding his hand back down to your heat, he proposes, "Give me another one, and I'll let you do whatever you want with me for a while."

You're spent already, your first orgasm having drained your entire energy. But you're willing to go again if that means getting what you want. Nodding your head, you lean back onto the bed.

"Good girl."

Holy shit.

It takes all your might not to melt into a puddle right then and there, but his working hand doesn't give you enough time to even process his words, his ringed fingers already drawing circles on your swollen bud. You gasp out silently, leaving an imprint on the mattress with how hard you're throwing your head back.

His digits expertly tickle your clit as if you're a key on his piano or a string on his guitar, experimentally dipping them into your heat for precise pumps. You thank the gods but also simultaneously curse the devil for making this man skilled with both his tongue and his hands.

It's not long until you feel the all too familiar knot in your core tighten again, squeezing your walls around his fingers as you feel the cold metal adorning them.

"That's it, baby," he growls. The pad of his thumb works your nub while his ring and index finger drag in and out of you with fast strokes. "Almost there."

You barely manage out anything intelligible other than Yeah and Don't stop. Sweat forms on your skin from your neck down to your chest, the golden pendant of your necklace clinging to it. So close, so damn close.

His hawk eyes are on you the entire time, intense and sinister. Not a single twitch of your muscles passes them by. If it wasn't for that crooked smile of his you would think he's studying you, analyzing your every move.

It's easy to feel intimidated under his watch, so to lessen your nerves – and finally bring yourself over the edge – you grab him by the collar, pulling him close to you. "Kiss me,” you murmur as if his lips aren't already pressed to yours.

With one last wicked grin, Yoongi gives in to your request, kissing you as if his life depends on it. He knows exactly how to get you going, lets you taste yourself on his tongue while he produces more of your sinful essence.

All you can do is whimper against his mouth until you break apart, another orgasm ripping out of you sooner than you thought that has your thighs clamping shut and your back arching off the mattress. A string of profanities leaves your lips as Yoongi continues massaging your clit through your high. Your sweaty hand clutching at the comforter snatches his wrist, stopping his crazed motions. "F-fuck okay, stop," you manage out, your throat as dry as a desert.

The man has the audacity to send a soft slap to your folds before pressing a quick peck onto your temple. "You did so well." He peers down at you with a gummy smile as he sits up straight, popping his soaked fingers into his mouth. "That was fun."

You're essentially an empty vessel, watching him with your mouth agape while nothing but a numbing, tingling sensation travels along your limbs. This must be the afterlife. Hell or heaven or maybe both.

"Alright." His voice takes you back to the bedroom. "As promised"–he shuffles to the edge of the bed, spreading his legs–"you have all the creative control now."

A tired chuckle escapes you before you scramble yourself up on your elbows, immediately sliding down to the floor in front of where Yoongi sits. You're quick to work on his belt, looping the leather through the holes although the feeling in your fingers hasn't returned yet.

The sound of Yoongi's laughter fills your ears, and you know you must look like a fool with the way you're trying to get him out of his pants before you even took off his shirt. Oh shit, yeah. You totally forgot about his shirt, but you have all the time in the world. For now, your focus is on something entirely else.

He observes you as you pull down his jeans and boxers in one go, lifting his butt from the bed to facilitate the process for you. He sports this cocky sideway smirk that drives you insane, but you manage to wipe it off his face the second your hand wraps around his length. A hiss passes through his teeth once you start stroking him in an up-and-down motion. Throwing his head back, he lets you take full control.

You add in a twisting motion whenever you reach the tip which clearly affects the man, his breathing becoming shallow and his whines turning into guttural moans. "I've barely done anything," you tease him just as he did earlier. "But you're already so hard."

That smirk returns instantly though weaker this time. "So what? I get hard watching you get off."

"Mh-hm," you hum unimpressed. "So what you're saying is I can do this"–you bend forward to slowly lick a stripe from the base up to the tip, giving the head a light suck–"and it does nothing for your raging hard-on?"

Whatever response is on the tip of his tongue, it disappears as soon as you put your mouth on him again, swallowing half of his length. "Ah, fuck!" His hand shoots up to hold you by the back of your head. The further you take him down your throat, the tighter his grip around your hair becomes. "Baby..."

You wish you could imprint this memory on instant film. The rosiness creeping up on his cheeks and neck compliment his smooth, milky skin so well. A thin sheen of sweat starts forming on his forehead, the strands of his dark bangs clinging to it framing his face like a picture. He's beyond beautiful, especially when he falls apart under the touch of your hand and the wet, warm comfort of your mouth.

Your head bops up and down at an excruciating pace now, his hard-on covered in slick from your saliva. You ignore the stinging ache in your jaw, planning on sucking him dry. He's always been such a sucker for your blowjobs, so you want to put on the best show possible for him.

"Baby," he repeats, his voice quivering. "Please."

Slowing down your movements, you resort to running your tongue across the protruding vein on the side of his length. "Yes?"

His hands wander down to your arms. "Come here."

"Hm?" You give him one final hard suck before pulling off him with a loud pop. Still kneeling in front of the man, you feign ignorance.

Impatiently, he pulls you up to your feet. "Stop playing."

You practically fall into his arms, straddling him in the process. His hands immediately find their way to your ass, grabbing a handful causing you to gasp. "What now?" you ask innocently, covering him with your slick as you grind down on him.

Drawing you in for a heated kiss, he drags your pelvis down onto his even harder. "Hands and knees, baby," the man orders with a sharp slap to your ass.

You don't waste another second, complying as you crawl off his lap. Getting into position with your butt high up in the air, you can hear his feet shuffle across the hardwood floor. He reappears in your vision shortly after, rummaging through the drawers of the bedside table.

"Shit," he curses harshly. "I thought I had some in here."

No further explanation is needed to understand what he's referring to. Sitting up on your heels, you watch Yoongi run a hand through his hair in distress.

"Can you check the other side?" he suggests, his eyes set on you.

"Sure." Leaning over the edge of the bed, you sift through the drawers though without luck.

Yoongi usually keeps the condoms on his side, the right side. When you were together, you would occupy the left side which is closer to the window. You always preferred the one closest to the window. It didn't matter much to Yoongi which side he slept on, but he made sure yours was always cleared so you could store whatever stuff you wanted. From any type of jewelry you took off before going to sleep, to snacks or books you brought with you that day – you always had your space within his home. And going through what were once your drawers, you realize nothing much has changed. They look rather uninhabited, no traces of you or him – or even someone else which is a concern that crosses your mind now.

He scratches the back of his head. "Fuck..." His voice comes out in defeat. "Maybe I can ask one of the other guys–"

"Don't!" You grab him by the wrist before he can wander off.

Confused, he looks down at your hand then back at you. "Why? You don't want to anymore?"

Shaking your head, you murmur sheepishly, "That's not it." There's a beat of silence as he waits for more. You swallow down the lump in your throat before you elaborate further, "Have you been with anyone else after..."

He holds your gaze, his eyes turning somber at your insinuation. "No."

His answer his short, but it's all you need to know. Min Yoongi might be the master of poker faces, but when it comes to you you can read the man like a book.

"Have you?" he follows up.

You shake your head. "Me neither."

Your reply seems to loosen some of the tension Yoongi was harboring, his body language becoming much more relaxed. Intertwining your hand with his, he inquires with a spark in his eyes, "Are you still on the pill?"

Giving him an affirmative answer, you interlock your fingers with his free hand as well. Your gesture changes the mood for good, his signature gummy smile making its return. You pull him closer until you're chest to chest. Sending him a light peck to the corner of his mouth, you curl your fingers around the edges of his shirt, peeling it off his torso.

He chuckles, raising his arms into the air in compliance. His hair ends up slightly disheveled once the clothing drags over his head. As you're smoothing it out for him, he asks, "Are you sure you're okay with this?"

You give it another second of thought. It wouldn't be the first time you've done it without extra protection. You started birth control once things became serious between the two of you. Over the course of your relationship, you would stick to double protection mostly to stay on the safe side. Now that you're back here with him and your first time ever since is going to be raw, it puts so much more significance to the situation – but that's what you want. You want to be with him all the way.

"I'm okay with this," you assure him with another peck to his lips. "Are you?"

Nodding his head, he allows you to drag down his pants and underwear that still hang around his thighs, letting them pool around his ankles. You're about to crawl back onto the bed when he stops you midway.

"What?" You look at him from across your shoulder. "What's wrong?"

His arm wraps around your middle, turning you on your back. "I wanna look at you."

With bated breath you watch his eyes linger on your face, taking in every inch of it as if he's trying to paint a picture of you in his mind. God. If he's not going to do anything, you're going to have to eventually –

Cupping your chin, he then kisses you deeply while entering you slowly.

Your reaction is immediate, gasping against his mouth as he sheaths himself inside of you. Thank God. Finally.

The feeling is all too familiar though it still needs some time getting used to. He prepped you well at least, so it doesn't take too long until pleasure ultimately replaces the stinging sensation.

"Fuck," he curses as he moves at a moderate pace. "I missed you."

You hold onto his arms resting beside your head. "I missed you, too."

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

It's like this flips a switch inside of him, his movements becoming more eager and carnal. He fills you up to the hilt, thrusting in and out of you with vigor. The silver pendant of his necklace swings back and forth wildly, grazing across your chest.

Your nails leave crescent shaped marks around his biceps. You're reduced to moans and curses. How long have you been hoping for this? Within those three months without him, you never considered a chance of getting back together – but you also haven't stopped thinking about the possibility of it. It seemed so farfetched due to all the circumstances. You had ruled it out immediately. But your fantasy always ran wild with the idea of it. And now your fantasy has become reality.

A particularly hard thrust has you practically screaming. You're quick to cover your mouth, your hand clasping it shut.

"Don't do that." Yoongi grabs ahold of it, holding it down above your head. "I wanna hear you." As if to test you, his hips rut into you faster and harder.

This ultimately does the trick, and you certainly don't disappoint as you let out lustful sounds loud and clear. Your focus should be on the here and now – in the arms of the man that you love so much. Nothing else and no one else should matter. "O-oh God, Yoongi!"

He sends you a satisfied grin as he sits up on his heels, his hips still snapping into yours. "Turn around."

With a mocking voice you tease him, "I thought you wanted to look at me."

"Yeah," he states nonchalantly, separating his sweaty bangs. "Now I wanna see the other side."

You let out an amused chuckle but abide alas, turning around on your side first before falling forward on your hands, your ass on full display for him.

"Perfect," he praises, caressing your cheeks with both hands. "You're doing great, baby."

Seconds pass before you feel his tip slide past your folds again. The stretch is different in this position, deeper and more thorough. You don't even notice yourself backing into him, your behind pressed flush to his pelvis.

"A little eager, aren't we?" One of his hands comes down to spank you, but before you even get a chance to complain he continues his onslaught, rolling his hips into your backside with deliciously slow yet harsh thrusts.

"Oh my God!" You lower yourself until your chest comes into contact with the mattress. "Yoongi…"

The telltale sound of skin slapping against skin echoes off the walls though they're not enough to drown out your sounds. As he gradually picks up his pace, your moans turn unstoppable. It's like an out-of-body experience – and judging by the noises coming from the man behind you he seems to be thoroughly enjoying himself as well.

"Fuck, baby…" Yoongi's grip on your hips tightens. "You take me so well."

You desperately nod your head at no one in particular before burying it in between your folded forearms as you withstand his force. There's a burn you're trying to ignore that spreads along your thighs, but the longer you hold out the easier you lose posture until you collapse like a house of cards.

"Here." His hands guide you further up on the mattress until you're on your half of the bed. "Lay down."

You flop down onto your back like a brick, drawing a chuckle out of Yoongi.

As he positions himself beside you, he puts your legs together rolling you onto your side.

"Oh..." You watch him with wondrous eyes as he settles down onto the space behind you. "This is new."

"Yeah." He grins while looping an arm around you, burying himself in your heat again. "Thought you needed a break."

At that, you chuckle lightly. "How thoughtful of you."

"Right?" With one sharp thrust, he hits you right in your g-spot. "Aren't I thoughtful?"

You moan out as he continuously pistons in and out of you, unable to answer in coherent sentences. "Mh-hm, so th-thoughtful."

His hand resting on your belly trails down to your thighs, spreading them ever so slightly so he can toy with your clit. The other squeezes through a crevice he creates between you and the bed to play with your tits.

When you think this is the highest of pleasure you can experience, he proves you wrong again. As his hips and hands move together in a perfect rhythm, he has the audacity to nip at your neck at the same time. His hard cock driving in and out of your pussy while he draws circles on your clit, pinches your nipple, and laves his tongue over your neck – this overstimulation sends you straight to the verge of another orgasm.

"Yoongi…" You twist your head around, resting it against his. "I'm gonna cum again."

"Okay." His features are contorted, one of the telltale signs of his own high incoming. "I'm about to cum, too."

Grabbing onto the hair on the back of his head, you press your lips together. The position proves itself as slightly awkward but is no obstacle to the heated kiss you're able to share.

Parting for a split second, Yoongi mumbles against your lips, "Should I pull out?"

You give it a moment of serious thought, shaking your head. As much as you loved when he used to finish somewhere on your body, you loved it the most when he finished inside. It always felt the most intimate, connecting the two of you on another level. "Cum inside me," you clarify, your walls already starting to flutter at the thought of it alone.

It's apparent the male is affected by your command, trying his hardest to send the two of you over the finish line. His eyes are shut, and his forehead crinkled into deep creases. "Baby," he huffs out with shallow breaths, "cum for me, please."

His plea along with his relentless ministrations seem to be the final straw for you, that long awaited orgasm exploding within you like a firework. Your eyes roll into the back of your head as you manage out a hoarse moan, involuntarily clamping your thighs shut while your legs twitch.

"O-oh fuck!" Yoongi also finds his release right away, emptying himself inside of you. "Shit!"

You barely register the profanities leaving his lips, but once he's reduced to mere whimpers you come back to reality. You always thought they were the sweetest sound in the world, such a contradiction to the strong and secure exterior of Min Yoongi.

The two of you lie there entangled with one another, catching your breaths. It could be a matter of a few minutes or maybe even an hour that you bask in the afterglow until Yoongi breaks the silence. "Come on," he murmurs, caressing your cheek. "We gotta clean up. Take off your make-up and all that."

You agree although with an annoyed grunt, slowly heaving your strained limbs from the bed one by one. There's a slight chill in the room now that your body has acclimated without the added body temperature from Yoongi and the physical exertion.

The touch of a fabric being draped across your shoulders causes you to jump a little. Inspecting the piece, you realize it's Yoongi's shirt from earlier. Thanking him, you slide it on as you stand up to your full height. Your legs are like jelly and there's the telltale ringing in your ears.

"Can you walk?" Yoongi inquires, coming to stand beside you. He’s back in his boxers, inspecting you with care.

Sending a timid nod of your head, you take a step but stumble over your own feet.

His arms reach out for you just in time to prevent the fall. "I went too hard on you. I'm sorry, darling."

"'s alright," you slur into the crook of his neck. "I liked it. A lot."

A smug grin finds its way onto his features. "Now come on," he chuckles. "Let's get you cleaned up."

You're more than thankful in this situation that Yoongi's room is one of the two in this household with an en-suite bathroom (the other belonging to Seokjin – being the eldest comes with benefits for sure) since your legs almost give out at any step despite leaning onto him while you walk.

After you take care of your situation down there, Yoongi runs a warm washcloth along the inside of your thighs for good measure. You thank him with your mouth agape, watching him in astonishment while you're propped up on the sink countertop for balance. It's beyond you how you could agree to the break-up so easily when he's always been so attentive to your needs, has always taken care of you without you even asking.

"There." He rises back to eye-level with you. "All good now."

You turn around to face the mirror, looking around for the things you need to in order to wash up. "Do you have a spare toothbrush?" you ask.

The man takes a second to process your request before his hand curls around the handle of one of the upper drawers. "I actually..." He hesitates. "I've got a few things you could use."

When he opens the drawer, your breath hitches in your throat. "I forgot I left these here," you murmur, inspecting the items revealed to you.

"Yeah..." Yoongi scratches the back of his head. "When you said you didn't need them, I tried throwing them away, but... I just couldn't."

You fairly remember the scene, storming out of the house after that talk, and when Yoongi told you he still had stuff of yours when you came over to drop off his you answered in anger 'Keep it or throw it out'.

With a trembling hand, you reach for the pink headband next to the rest of your skincare products. You don't want it to happen, but tears spring up in your eyes. Trying to keep them at bay, you throw your head into your neck, but to no avail. The first tears roll down your cheeks, so you turn away from Yoongi in shame, letting them fall freely.

"Hey," Yoongi coos, his hands coming up to rub soothing circles into your arms. "It's okay, honey. It's in the past now."

You feel so endlessly guilty of how things have turned out. All you want is for it to work out with him.

He continues consoling you, "We're gonna do better this time. But we have to be honest with each other." One of his hands slide down to intertwine with yours. "So no more of that hiding shit."

You let him spin you around in your spot. Looking up at him through blurry vision, you wrap your arms around his neck. "I want this to work out, Yoongi," you croak out choked up on tears. "I really want this to work out."

"It's gonna work out," he assures you, his arms around you as tight and secure as ever. "We're gonna make it work."

As you pull apart, he swipes his thumb over the last of the remaining tears on your cheek before placing a chaste kiss on it. The gesture draws a smile back onto your face, soothing your haywire state.

It's so domestic how you stand next to each other now brushing your teeth and doing your skincare routines, pulling silly faces at one another through the mirror – and before you know it you're racing him back to the bed, drifting off into peaceful slumber with his chest pressed to your back.

Sunlight peeks through the blinds as you blink your eyes open. You're sore all over, the memory of last night hitting you like a bat over the head though it draws a smile on your lips – especially since his arm is still draped over your middle.

Carefully rolling over onto your side, you're met with a half-asleep Yoongi, his eyelids still heavy as he peers at you.

"Sorry, did I wake you?" you whisper, your smile widening at his cute face.

He shakes his head, burying his face into the pillow. "Mh-mh." His voice comes out muffled, thick with sleepiness. "I woke up a minute ago or so."

You place your hand on his cheek at which he turns his head again. Rubbing your thumb across his soft skin, you shuffle closer to peck him on the lips.

He seems slightly more awake after that, chasing after your lips for another.

You still can't believe this is how you ended up. All the trials and tribulations brought you back together in the end. A huge thank you is due to be said to Jimin.

Yoongi props himself up, looking around the room in search of something. Once his eyes land on the bedside table next to you, he speaks up, "Pass me my phone, please?"

You hum out in affirmation, bending over to the side to retrieve the device.

He settles back down on the bed when you hand it to him, welcoming you with open arms as you cuddle up to him. Tapping on the screen, he unlocks the phone to a plethora of messages. He opens the most recent chat with Jimin.

You're not one to sneak a peek, but it's hard not to when it's right in front of your face. When you read the last message, heat creeps up into your cheeks.

from Jimin [12:04 AM]

i'm glad you guys managed to "talk things out" 😉

"Oh God." You hide your face in the crook of his neck. "They know."

"Of course they know," Yoongi replies with a chuckle. "We were gone for the rest of the night." He types out a quick reply before tossing the phone onto the space beside him. "On top of that, we weren't exactly quiet," he jokes, wrapping his arms around you pulling you flush to his chest.

You linger in embarrassment for a little longer until you can't help but laugh along with him.

A soft knock on the door ends your chatter early to which Yoongi answers with a chipper 'Come in'.

The door cracks open ever so slightly, the chestnut-brown of Seokjin's mop of hair coming into sight. "Everybody decent?" he questions before correcting himself. "Well, you wouldn't have told me to come in if not." Swinging the door open wider until he's more than a floating head without a body, he adds, "Uh... Breakfast's ready."

"Alright, thanks," the younger male responds. "We'll be down in a bit."

"So you guys are good again?" The corners of Seokjin's mouth tug upward as if he doesn't know the answer already.

Yoongi sends him an assuring smile. "Yeah, we're good."

"Good, good. That's a relief." It looks like he's on his way out before he adds with a teasing grin, "Otherwise I would've had no other choice but to ask for your hand in marriage, _____, because that kiss last night was something else. Like wow–"

A loud thud sounds as Yoongi throws his pillow at the older male with full force. Seokjin's fast reflexes save him though as it knocks against the closing door instead.

You shake your head at the eldest’s shenanigans.

"Say…" Yoongi starts again, acting as if what just happened a second ago didn’t. "I’m gonna have to go on some trips starting next month."

Your ears perk up at that.

"I know I can’t take you with me on all of them, and I’m not gonna force you, but…" He studies you with careful eyes. "Do you think we can make something work? Like you keep me company for at least one of them?"

Tracing shapes across the smoothness of his chest, you answer, "It’s a little short notice, but I’ll talk to my manager first thing Monday morning."

He cracks a crooked smile. "If not, we’ll figure something out."

"We’ll figure something out," you repeat as an assurance to him but also yourself. "What’s important is we both gotta be comfortable with what we’re doing and be patient with the process. Chances are things aren’t gonna run smoothly right away."

His smile grows wider at your addition. "Yeah, exactly.” Pulling you closer to his chest, Yoongi says the next sentence with an underlying tone of regret. "I hope you know it’s not your fault."

Your fingers curl tighter around his figure.

"I was just as guilty myself, I made just as many mistakes." Tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear, he trails, "So please, don’t put all the blame on yourself."

Last night you would’ve cried in an instant, but you’re in a much better state this morning. Now you know you both have things to improve in order to move the relationship forward.

Lifting your head off his chest, you nod at him with a small smile. "Thank you for letting me know. And the same goes for you as well."

He reciprocates your smile before pulling you down towards him, pressing your lips together. "I love you," he repeats the words from last night.

Your heart flutters in your chest. "I love you, too." You resume the kiss, your hands roaming around his naked torso. "Do you think breakfast can wait? I feel like"–slinging one leg over to the other side, you straddle him–"I was kinda lazy last night."

At that, he gives you an all-knowing grin and the rest is history.

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stephdrawsjohnlock · 10 months

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SH – :Couch Cuddle: (FTH #2 for @discordantwords) Procreate on iPad Pro

I would love something domestic and Johnlock-y, though I don't have anything very specific in mind. Maybe Sherlock and John on the sofa in 221B watching a movie? Or looking after a dog or cat? Or cleaning up after one of Sherlock's messy experiments? Just something where the boys are enjoying each other's company together where they belong. I'm not overly picky, I just want to see them happy. :)

Here's pic two of three for my @fandomtrumpshate pieces for 2023, this one for the WONDERFUL @discordantwords, who gave me pretty much free reign on what I wanted to do, as long as it was Domestic Johnlock!

I absolutely wanted to do a piece with a puppy after I saw that suggested, here's our favourite (married!) duo with a new Redbeard puppy!

They're supposed to be lying down on one of those L-shaped couches but it looks weird to me, I dunno. DiscordantWords seemed really happy with this one, so I'm gonna just ignore all the things I think are wrong with it, LOL

One nitpick I will make is I think I should have made the couch a different colour because Redbeard is hard to see, LOL. Ah well. Hope y'all like it, anyway.

And thank you DiscordantWords for this fun prompt! I'm so happy you liked this! <3<3

🖼 I’M ON INSTAGRAM at stephdrawsfanart 🎨 @stephratte is my Primary Fanart Blog! Art © to S.G.M. Ratté. Do not repost or sell.

(Tags below cut, dm to be added/removed)

@discordantwords

@queerbeess

@ayryn-art

@antisocial-otaku

@havetardiswilltimetravel

@yorkiepug

@tea-and-gingernuts

@quantum-sparrow

@chinike

@chained-to-the-mirror

@almosttomorocco

@loveismyrevolution

#fandom trumps hate #fandom trumps hate 2023 #fth 2023 #johnlock #johnlock fanart #sherlock #sherlock fanart #fanart #my art #sdjl johnlock #sdjl sherlock #sdjl myart

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kismets-barista · 9 months

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Intro Post, Finally!

🌟💜🌟💜🌟💜🌟💜🌟💜🌟💜🌟💜🌟💜

Gooood morning, evening, or night wherever you are! I thought I'd make a little introduction post to kinda showcase the online disaster (me) we've got going on in this corner

I go by Via! If you wanted to call me Kismet or Kis since it's in my username that's fine too, I just stole it from the *NSYNC trollsona band that was in Band Together, haha!

My pronouns are she/her, but I don't mind they.

WHAT YOU'LL MOST LIKELY SEE HERE:

🌟 Trolls writing (Drabbles, Fanfictions, and requests if people feel so inclined.)

💜 Trolls art (currently, I am away from my Gaemon so it'll all be either traditional or finger drawings!)

🫧Ducktales writing and trad art (mostly drabbles about Gladstone Gander or the Three Caballeros, lol.)

🌟Reposts! I love supporting fellow artists and writers! It's the best 💜🌟🫧

🌟A little about me!🌟

I'm 22!

Adding here! I'm a very kind person but if you're a minor I'd prefer to have minimal, shorter contact with you! Not that I don't like talking to youngsters as I have siblings of my own, but I'd prefer to share art and writing among my own age range here! 💜

When not writing or maladaptive daydreaming you can find me doing music, doodling, or reading. I'm a musician (Piano, French horn), and am a sucker for musicals as well. (Any other Hadestown fans out there?)

Huuuuge lover of coffee and coffee mugs ☕️🌟

Also my inbox for asks is always open!

Aaand that's it! Thanks for reading, and I hope y'all stick around a bit! 💜🌟🫧

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vminjackbaddie · 2 months

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Feeling Lucky

authors note: eye...haven't written a one shot in such a long time but his recent activity on ig has got me in shambles and I'd like the chance to try again. now forgive me because I've always written in first person but you can still pretend. also im super rusty so im sorry if this comes out cheesy lol I am not an expert for sure! lastly, please don't repost or claim as your own. I appreciate y'all pairing: female reader & jackson wang | 1st person word count: 3.4k+ summary: it's been a lot of trial and error: using dating apps in hopes you find a serious relationship and for the third time, you find yourself disappointed with someone, feeling cursed and very unlucky. to help get your mind off of things, you go visit your best friend at the bar with 0 intentions except to enjoy yourself until jackson walks in with his own group of friends. he's eyeing you, you're eyeing him but will either one of you make a move? or will you let your "cursed" theory ruin any chance with him? genre: mature | strangers to lovers au | angst | one shot | kinda soft | fluff warnings: 21+ ONLY! some cursing, making out, small mentions of heartbreak

“…and that’s exactly why I believe dogs are far superior to cats…”

He kept rambling, spewing nonsense. Is this really my life right now? How am I sitting here, listening to this man go on and on about why dogs are better than cats? Is this supposed to be life-changing information? Definitely not! And just for the record, cats are just as good—if not better.

To make matters worse, I wish I could say this was my first bad date in ages, but that would be a lie. A month ago, I signed up for a dating app, and while things started off strong, the past two weeks have led me to men with halitosis, nonstop misogynistic comments, and now this guy: a man who thinks his monologue is more interesting than asking about me.

Without hesitation, I pulled out my phone and decided to use the old bathroom excuse.

“Excuse me—sorry. Just give me a minute. I’ll be right back,” I said, trying not to trip over my heels as I pushed my chair back, ready to make my escape.

“Take your time! When you get back, we can talk about the ghost in my parents’ basement!” he shouted as I walked away.

I raised an eyebrow, knowing it was now or never. Ghosting isn’t my usual move, but it felt like my only option. Luckily, there was an exit door next to the women’s restroom, and I made a beeline for it. I attempted to call my best friend to fill her in on the disaster, but I reached her voicemail, followed by a quick text:

[Hey, I’m working. You okay?]

Ugh. I completely forgot she was on a shift at Oasis, a local bar. But that might not be a bad idea. I could definitely use some company and a distraction. I hopped into my car and rushed to get inside before he realized I wasn’t coming back, quickly texting her:

[Hiiii~ nvm! I’m coming by. See you soon!]

The message was brief, and as I sat at the first red light, I surprisingly didn’t feel guilty. Isn’t that awful? But honestly, while I felt bad about the first two dates, this third one confirmed that maybe my days with dating apps were over. I felt cursed—searching for real love for so long only to have every potential match turn sour as soon as we met. So tonight (and perhaps for the rest of my life), I decided to focus on enjoying myself.

Oasis wasn’t far. Within five minutes, I was in line to get in. While I waited, I noticed the coffee shop guy had bombarded me with at least eight messages, calling me every name in the book for bailing.

“Wow,” I muttered, scrolling through his barrage of insults.

“Looks like you dodged a bullet,” the bouncer said as I finally reached him.

“What? Oh yeah, he’s definitely a piece of work,” I replied, blocking his number while handing over my ID.

“You came to the right place.” He nodded as he returned my ID. While he recognized me from previous visits, I wasn’t in the mood to chat with another guy about my problems. I simply made my way to the bar.

“Danielle!” I called, spotting my best friend as I slid onto the first empty barstool. The bar wasn’t too crowded, but the dance floor was alive, and it felt great to soak in the energy after those awful messages.

“Another bad date?” she asked, handing me my favorite drink.

“Oh, it was so bad, Danielle! I just don’t know what’s wrong with me!”

“I don’t think it’s you. Sometimes men just suck, and dating app guys are a whole different level of awful,” she chuckled.

“I’m starting to think it might be time to give up.”

She sighed. “You always say that. But remember what I tell you: you’re more likely to find the right one when you’re not stuck playing 40 questions over a screen.”

She patted my hand for reassurance, and I felt a little lighter.

“Don’t beat yourself up—we’ve all been there. Just enjoy your drink.”

I nodded, acknowledging she was right.

“Okay, but no more than three drinks tonight. I don’t want you getting in trouble again for giving away too many free ones.”

We both laughed as I took a sip while she attended to the next guest.

About an hour later, I was on my third drink, and let me tell you, I was feeling it. “Slightly tipsy” was the best way to describe it, and I was really vibing with the music pouring from the speakers. However, I wasn’t much of a dancer. Sitting at the bar, swaying back and forth in my little bubble, felt just right. I could have kept it up all night, but then I heard an uproar from the dance floor.

Curious, I turned to see what all the commotion was about. Right in the center of the crowd was a group of guys dancing like nobody was watching, and they were good. But the one drawing everyone’s attention wasn’t the loudest or most flamboyant; instead, it was the guy making the subtlest moves. His presence alone was magnetic, giving him an air of mystery that was incredibly alluring.

I found myself standing up, inching closer to get a better view. I didn’t want to get too close—just close enough to appreciate his every move. But maybe that was the mistake, because as soon as I got within range, I was completely captivated. He wore all black: a fitted tank top, loose black pants, and sturdy boots. His shaggy hair was a striking lilac or lavender color, cascading over his forehead. It felt wrong, but the thought of getting his attention flickered in my mind. The only problem? I was supposed to be enjoying myself, not fantasizing about some guy.

“Y/N!” Danielle’s voice broke through my thoughts, and I turned to see her waving me over. That was my cue: stay away from him. After all, it was clear why there were at least ninety girls surrounding him—or so it seemed.

What I didn’t realize was that her shout had caught his attention too, because when I looked back just before walking away, we locked eyes.

“Oh god,” I mumbled to myself, quickly diverting my gaze as he flashed me a gentle smile. The only thing I could manage was a quick nod before I hurried back to the bar, eager to escape any further embarrassment.

“What were you doing over there?” Danielle asked as I settled back into my seat.

“Did you not see those guys? They were amazing!” I nearly pointed but caught a glimpse of him and his friends gathering at the other end of the bar.

“Those guys?” she asked, tilting her head in their direction. “Oh yeah, they’re here every Friday, or so.”

I rolled my eyes. “Of course.”

For some reason, that realization made him feel completely out of reach. I shouldn’t have even considered approaching him, but the thought lingered. Now, with him just ten feet away, it was impossible not to steal glances as I tried to finish what was left of my drink.

“Need another?” I heard a male voice say.

I looked over to find a glass of Hennessy right beside my hand. My gaze lifted to meet the exact guy from the dance floor, and I was shocked. Why was he talking to me? Where were his friends? Regardless, I needed to play it cool; I didn’t want to come off as desperate.

“No, I’m good,” I replied shortly. “This is my third one, anyway.” I barely made eye contact, taking another sip.

“Is that why you were almost on the dance floor?” he joked.

“Maybe. But how would you know?” I finally turned my body toward him.

He took a small sip of his drink. “I saw you—almost as soon as you walked up. I was waiting for you to join in.”

“I’m sure the other ninety women were more than enough for you,” I retorted.

“Damn. Don’t do that,” he said with a smirk.

“Don’t do what? Point out the obvious?” I chuckled. That’s when I really started to feel the liquid courage kicking in. To be honest, I had a lot of animosity toward men right now, and he was my first target. This could either go really well or extremely badly.

“I’m not just another girl for you to toy with, okay? You think I didn’t see all the smirking and body rolling on that dance floor? Keep it over there.” My finger landed on his chest. “And don’t bring your fuckboy act over here.”

He smirked again, taking another sip before resting his hand over my finger that was still resting on his chest. God, why was he so attractive? I’d said enough, so why couldn’t I just get up and leave?

“Let me be clear…” His voice was low and husky, and I barely noticed he had leaned in closer, making my hand rest against his chest. “If I had any intentions with the other women on that floor, or if I were the fuckboy you think I am, then why am I over here with you?”

His eyes searched mine as if trying to find something beyond the asshole persona I was attempting to project.

“Touche,” I responded, quickly pulling my hand back. I finished off my drink, trying to distract myself from getting lost in his gaze. “What’s your name?”

“Jackson,” he said with a smile, clearly pleased that I wasn’t trying to push him away any further. “And you?”

“Y/N,” I replied shyly, worried I might have ruined the rest of the conversation. Just then, another song played, and the crowd erupted again, making us both break our unannounced staring contest and look at the dance floor. The same guys he had arrived with were back out there, cutting loose. I noticed Jackson subtly mimicking their moves.

“You should join them!” I yelled over the music.

“Nah, it’s okay. I’d rather be dancing with someone else,” he said, slowly bringing his gaze back to me.

I rolled my eyes, smirking a little. “Could you be any more corny?”

“No,” he smirked, grabbing my hand and pulling me closer. We were chest to chest now, locked in each other's gaze. “But I’d like the chance to show you what I can do on the dance floor.”

I glanced back at Danielle, who had been watching the whole exchange. My expression should’ve been a dead giveaway for help, but instead, she winked at me. What the hell? She wasn’t helping at all.

“Come on,” he said, breaking our gaze and taking my hand. He led me to the dance floor. “I don’t expect anything more than for you to just feel the music.” He moonwalked to the center of the dance floor.

How could I possibly keep up with that? I barely had rhythm as it was, but that didn’t stop him from pulling me closer. The liquid courage needed to kick in any minute now because I had never been more nervous than I was at that moment.

He turned me around so that my back pressed against his chest, swaying slowly behind me, guiding my body to move in harmony with his. I felt as if I were in a trance, his hands exploring my waist in a way that was both respectful and undeniably sensual. His nose brushed against my hair, and I could feel my eyes fluttering shut, surrendering to his lead as I let the music envelop me. I placed my hands over his, turning my head slightly to bring his face closer to mine, anticipating the moment our lips might meet. But just then, the tempo of the music shifted, shattering the spell we were under. I smiled as we both paused, realizing that our moment had come to an end.

I turned to face him, and I noticed his friends slowly approaching from behind.

“Alright! We see you!” one of them called out.

“Get lost,” he replied, feigning annoyance, which made them all chuckle.

“Sorry, man! We were just about to grab another drink. You coming?”

He glanced back at me. “Yeah, actually. I’ll be right there.” They nodded and headed off, and he turned back to me.

“You know you don’t have to stick around. I wasn’t exactly nice to you a few minutes ago.”

He shrugged. “I can get drinks with them anytime.” He took my hand again and led me back to my original spot at the bar to order another drink. As we waited, he turned to look at me.

“But what was with all that attitude? Was it really just because of how you viewed me?”

I shook my head. “No... just... bad dates.”

He nodded slowly, as if he understood more than I realized.

“Men ain’t shit,” he started, his tone serious. “And I mean that. I don’t know what you’ve been through, and it’s really none of my business, but can I offer you some advice?”

“Sure,” I replied, still swaying to what we could hear of the music.

“Don’t assume every guy you meet is going to be like the last. I know that’s tough, but calling me a fuck boy was a bit much.” He whined playfully, laughter escaping him. “Though, I have to admit, it was pretty funny.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry... I really shouldn’t have said that—” Just then, my favorite song blared through the speakers. Tinashe’s “Nasty” filled the air, and the energy shifted.

“I LOVE THIS SONG!” I shouted, letting go and fully immersing myself in the music. Whatever liquid courage I had left finally surfaced, and I danced like I’d never danced before. I was so caught up in the moment that I didn’t even notice Danielle bringing him another drink; he simply stood there, a huge smirk on his face, watching me.

“Is somebody gonna match my freak...” I began to sing loudly, draping my arms over his neck and leaning in close, letting my hands glide slowly over his chest.

He watched intently as I continued belting out the lyrics. The way he sipped his Hennessy while keeping his gaze fixed on me made my stomach flip. Somehow, I managed to maintain my composure, still singing and letting my hands roam lower, tracing over his abdomen, which made his breath catch.

“Easy...” he murmured, and I couldn’t help but smirk. I had no idea what was happening, but I was enjoying every moment.

I leaned back into his space, my arm wrapped around his neck as the chorus looped again, the constant refrain of “I’ve been a nasty girl” echoing in my ears. I sang every word, body rolling against him while his free hand trailed down my side and rested at my waist. With his other hand, he finished his drink and set the glass down, then placed his palm at the small of my back.

We were mere inches apart; I could feel his breath against my lips, and it made me freeze as the music began to fade into the background. At that moment, I was intoxicated by his scent, and there was no way I could back down now. I’d been in his face for nearly three minutes, singing about being a nasty girl—what else could I expect?

“You singing all of that makes me want to do a lot more than just dance with you...” he whispered. “But that would be disrespectful on our first meeting.”

Good god. At this point, he could have done anything to me; a man who shows respect is the sexiest thing a girl could ask for.

“Then what can you do that wouldn’t be ‘disrespectful’?”

I knew I was asking for it, but I couldn’t help myself. At this rate, I wanted him to make a move.

He chuckled softly, brushing his nose against mine as our faces inched closer together. One hand cupped my face, while the other rested on my hip. I felt his body draw nearer, moving slightly as the music began to swell again, creating a bubble around just the two of us. I slowly closed my eyes, fully aware of what was about to happen. The build-up was intoxicating. I could have closed the distance myself, but something urged me to savor the moment. He began to turn my body until my back was against a wall, his hands landing on either side of me, brushing his lips against mine. When I opened my eyes, I saw him glancing between my eyes and my mouth, so close I could nearly taste him.

My hands moved to cup his neck as we tilted our heads, our lips nearly meeting once more. He was teasing me mercilessly, and damn, was he good at it.

“May I?” he asked, brushing his nose against mine again. There he went again with that respect.

“Please,” I nearly begged, and he slowly closed the gap between us, finally kissing me after what felt like an eternity of anticipation.

Our lips moved in perfect harmony, just like how we danced. His hands slid from the bar back around my waist, while mine fumbled to find their place. I felt most at ease tangling one hand in his hair while the other rested at his side. The kiss deepened as our tongues battled for dominance, making me want to nibble at his bottom lip to tease him even more. But just like that, it was over. He pulled away, leaving me craving more.

We were both breathless, but it was more than worth it. I even heard Danielle cheering quietly behind me, which made us glance at her and shake our heads in amusement.

“I’m sorry. If I’d kept going—”

I raised a finger to his lips. “It’s fine,” I smiled. “There’s always next time.”

He nodded. “I hope it made your night a little better.”

His smile was enchanting, and I could tell he genuinely meant it, which made me feel incredible.

“Mission accomplished.” I gave him a quick peck. “Now, stay in touch.”

“Wait. You’re leaving?” he frowned.

“No!” I laughed. “Danielle’s my ride home since I’ve had a couple of drinks.”

“Smart. I like it,” he teased, locking his gaze with mine again. “Care to dance once more before the night ends?”

“Are you sure you don’t want to get back to your boys?” I asked, noticing them still on the dance floor.

“Look, those are my best friends. I can dance, drink, and whatever else with them anytime,” he assured me. “They’ll understand if I keep dancing with you. And while this may be our last dance tonight, I hope to see you again, outside of this bar.”

I felt a blush creeping up my cheeks. Who would have thought one bad night would turn into something so lucky?

“Deal,” was all I could think to say before he pulled me back out to the dance floor, where we danced until the sun rose.

#jackson wang fanfic #babbling!*#I literally wrote this and then posted without tags bc I got super scared. I still am. please me kind lol

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barbieaemond · 11 months

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REQUESTS ARE OPEN 💖

Good morning lovely people! Thank you for the warmest welcome back ever, I hope your day will be as blissful as y'all are making me feel since I came back 💖

Today, I'm gonna be fishing in your blogs trying to retrieve some of my content, so don't mind me reblogging my own stuff. And speaking of which:

GIFS? I will remake some of them, like the basic gifs of Ewan characters, but not the most edited ones.

FICS? I don't see the point of reposting my fics now. Apart from Red Bird, I had three oneshots posted less than a month ago or so. I will repost them, maybe I could add a little extra like a deluxe edition lol, but I think it's best to let some time pass.

REQUESTS? Here comes the pain. I am trying to remember all of them. You would think I saved them in a doc on my computer, right? Surprise, surprise: I didn't 🤡

For all these reasons I officially open requests for gifs (any Ewan character) and oneshots (only Aemond) for an unlimited period 😂

Once again, thank you for all your beautiful and supportive words 🫶🏻

#requests are open lovelies #blog psa

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tonberry-yoda · 11 months

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Hi Berry!! Here I am once again for the matchup event (I always love the choices you give me aaa) and I'm very interested in a matchup with a One Piece character as he's becoming my new addiction (I'm currently still on the episode 145, and you can choose anyone, since I love them all until the episode I left off!)!!

Name: Maria.

Pronouns: she/her.

Sexuality: Straight.

Zodiac Sign: Pisces.

Personality: I am shy, intelligent, kind, homely, perfectionist, timid, nerdy, curious, introverted, playful, mature, friendly, listener, sarcastic, talkative, imaginative and creative.

Likes: Animals, watching movies or series, playing video games, listening to music, watching anime and cartoons, reading books (especially a good novel), staying at home, drawing, cooking, writing and talking to my friends.

Dislikes: Mariposa, noisy people, going to parties with loud music and lots of people, introducing myself to a group of strangers, exams, people who want to force contact with me, when they force me to do something I really don't want to do and when a friend He doesn't listen to my advice and then arrives when everything goes wrong.

How I introduce myself: Well, with strangers I'm a completely shy person, and I end up frowning without meaning to. With my friends I'm a very talkative person, I make jokes with them and I'm generally the mother of the group. With my family I am more open, extroverted and talkative, especially with my mother as I don't have much contact with my father as we live in different cities.

Musical taste: I like all types of music, but what I like most is pop music (like Coldplay, Beyoncé, Rihanna, Katy Perry...) and classical music.

My type/what I want: Lately I've been changing a little about what I like. I used to like guys who were a little more closed off, but today I prefer someone who is very open to their feelings and who shows me that they love me! And also always be by my side and give me advice, just like I would with him.

And my love language is physical touch, I really like hugging the person I love despite being embarrassed and giving them lots of kisses!!!

Thank you very much! Please drink water and take care of your health!! Kisses Berry, I love you ♡⸜(˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝

notes - HI LOVE! When you sent this in, I knew exactly who to pair you with! Super happy to hear you're into one piece, it's such a good anime omg. Thanks for sending this in! I hope you enjoy the matchup and also stay hydrated <3

the character I match you up with is...

like it fits a ton!

you want a guy who shows you his love, this is your man!

he will stay by your side and not only listen to your advice but also give some to you if you need it

also, he is always got goo goo eyes with you, but he's not so over the top anymore, it's more of a happy medium lol

like of course he loves you to death, but no nosebleeds right when you walk in a room, you know?

he didn't mind that you were shy, and let you open up to him at your own pace and that was surprisingly fast, and he loves how open you are around him

he would cook with you and ADORES your food

he loves that you're such an independent person who knows what she wants and cannot stop smiling at you whenever he sees you omg

y'all would totally have picnic dates and listen to music while cuddling on the grass for sure

~~~~~

2023 @tonberry-yoda – do not repost or claim ANY of my work as your own! likes, reblogs, and comments are not only welcome, but appreciated

~~~~~

#i hope you like it!#i thought it fit really well <3 #tonberry answers #asks #moots <3 #x reader #matchup #matchups #my writing #one piece #one piece x reader #sanji #sanji x reader #<3

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sapphiclesbli · 16 days

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hiiiiiii sooooo there’s this girl i like and i have no clue if she likes me back or not and i know you obviously can’t read her mind (unless you secretly are a mind reader because that would be a lot of help) but if someone you liked was doing all this to you what would you think…i guess that’s what im asking lol.

so basically she told her mom about me, showed her my insta, and told her about one of our little jokes (the one where we pretend we’re married…) and she also told one of her friends all of that plus that she likes talking to me.

but she keeps a distance with me. for a few days she’ll text me all the time and then will randomly only send one text everyday for a few days. yeah she could be busy and she probably is since even her friend agreed that she’s always busy. she also loves to tell me about when she has sex and the details (which i’m not opposed to bcuz we initially became friends from wanting to sext each other) but then she gets jealous and will saying something like “how could you post this when you have a wife” when i post something on my story about getting flustered around the most jaw dropping girl or if i repost something about wanting a girlfriend. and a long time ago like probably 1-1 1/2 years ago when i told her i had a crush on her she said really loves talking to me and all that but she doesn’t get crushes. but im not sure if she even knows i still like her.

but yeah that’s basically why i’m confused lol. and i mean if i did know she liked me back would that change anything? no lmao but yeah i’m just wondering what you think

sorry if this was all over the place

hiii i'm sorry I wanted to reply after classes but I fell asleep early as soon as I got home. my brain is fucked up tho so idk if I'm the best person to ask that's but I'll try my best!!

I wish I could read minds sadly but I'll try to help with my talentless brain lol. I definitely feel mixed signals about the situation but I feel like she likes you whether it's platonic or romantic I can't tell.

now I think when she tells you about her sex life details she's trying to get a reaction out of you ( idk how y'all sexted and maybe she's done it since the beginning) in that case I might be wrong but who knows. and for the jealousy part it really depends if she acts jealous and really shows it or if she's joking (or pretends to be)

also when she says she doesn't get crushes she might have a reason or it might have to do with her past, so she may act the way she does to protect herself. she also may not be sure of her feelings which can also be an explanation but yeah

I hope what I said makes sense and I could help (if not I'm sorry 😭 also don't apologize it's okay!! I'm glad you felt like I could give my opinion) anyway hope you had/ are having a lovely day!!

#✿li's answer #anon ask #send anons #ask #send asks #lesbian #sapphic #wlw #random blog

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pekoeboo · 2 years

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last batch of sketches that I'll be posting this year. not gonna do an end-of-year summary this time, so y'all can have these Ravenwood RP arts instead :0

no real theme with any of these... just kinda drew whatever came to mind, while being loosely based on some of the concepts that @baskervilleshound and I have talked about before (tho the sick Antony in the corner was definitely just me projecting, since everyone in my fam has been feeling awful for the past week lol).

anyway, I don't have much else to say about these but I hope y'all like 'em ;o;

please do not remove caption or repost. also on deviantart

#oc #rp #ravenwood rp #khalan #khalan al shariq #antony papadopoulos #cats #injury tw ?#idk khalan has some stitches from An Incident™ so idk if that might bother anyone #tbh he shouldn't be doing any heavy lifting in that state but this guy doesn't ever know when to give himself a break hfdgn #original stuff

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sanaexus · 4 months

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social's as rin's girlfriend

-liked by itoshi_sae, shiidoryu and 121.1k others

yourusername: rin loving something that isn't football (NOT CLICKBAIT GONE WRONG) 😱😱🙀🙀

tagged: rin.itoshi

rin.itoshi: you're acting as if the only thing that's on my mind is football. ↳yourusername: it legit is though ↳isaichii: that IS the only thing in your mind ↳shiidoryu: balls is like the only thing you can think ab ↳hiyori: why did you phrase it like that ↳shiidoryu: bc i felt silly n cute ↳rin.itoshi: hope yall kys.

julian.loki: wow no credits? i'm heartbrocken y/n 💔🙄😭🤬 ↳yourusername: mb bro ↳julian.loki: yes ur bad, i had to watch yall kissing for like 10 minutes like ???

yourusername: picture credits to the amazing (part-time footballer full time photographer) @/julian.loki ↳megubachi: ah yes being surrounded by sweaty men and balls is my fav passtime ↳hiyori: again what the fuck

rin.itoshi: the picture looks a bit weird, maybe we should redo it but with practice? ↳yourusername: 😮 ↳chigi.who: 😮 ↳isaichii: 😮 ↳nikkoki: 😮 ↳shoei.barou: 😮 ↳itoshi_sae: 😮 ↳yourusername: (im omw btw) ↳rin.itoshi: what?

user1: nO WAY BRO'S PICK UP LINE SUMMONED BAROU AND SAE AND THEY USED EMOJIS LIKE ??? ↳user2: FR LIKE THOSE PEOPLE ARE LEGIT GRANDPAS THEY BARELY EVEN USE INSTAGRAM ↳itoshi_sae: fuck off i'm not a grandpa

-liked by chigi.who, karasu_tabito and 152.4k others

rin.itoshi: fuck y'all

tagged: yourusername

yourusername: rin ily but maybe provide some context to the caption pls ↳rin.itoshi: nah ↳yourusername: NAH I'D WIN ↳rin.itoshi: .. ↳yourusername: ok i'm sorry

shiidoryu: bet, when? ↳yourusername: 🤺back🤺you🤺zesty🤺demon🤺 back 🤺 ↳rin.itoshi: blocked.

user3: wait what is the context to the caption? ↳yourusername: his friends were teasing him ab being a shitty bf and only thinking ab football lol ↳rin.itoshi: they aren't my friends, i'm not a shitty bf and i don't only think ab football ↳yourusername: I NEVER SAID aNYTHING I WAS JS EXPLAINING

isaichii: bro got pissed ↳reo.miikage: are we surprised? ↳nagi.seishiro: no

yourusername: ilysm i'm gonna cry ↳rin.itoshi: if it makes you feel better you look rlly pretty when you cry ↳yourusername: screaming crying throwing up rn

eita.otoya: ofc he tried teaching you football and ofc he mentioned it in the post that was supposed to prove he doesn't only think ab football ↳yourusername: he's js a bit silly like that 😝 ↳yourusername: that football training shi was brutal asf imma stick to js watching ↳rin.itoshi: you barely did anything? ↳yourusername: give me a break

-liked by nikkoki, kuniisuke and 124.9k others

yourusername: leave the poor guy alone, he does a perfectly good job at being a bf <3

tagged: rin.itoshi

isaichii: WHAT THE FUCK IS THE LAST SHIRT? NO WAY THAT'S RIN ↳yourusername: YES WAY THAT'S RIN ↳isaichii: ... ↳yourusername: HE'S A SOFTIE FOR ME 🥺💕

rin.itoshi: was the last picture necessary? ↳yourusername: yes ↳rin.itoshi: i fucking hate you ↳yourusername: awww i love you too

user4: the hand placement in the second picture?? it's so cute?? ↳rin.itoshi: she makes it cute ↳chigi.who: what the fuck.

shiidoryu: us when rin? 🥺🥺 ↳rin.itoshi: out of my girlfriend's comments ↳shiidoryu: you didn't say no to us 😏 ↳rin.itoshi: i'd rather admit isagi is better than me then ever be anywhere near you

rin.itoshi: you're so pretty ↳user4: fr like all u do is kick balls how did you pull her ↳yourusername: you're my fav ball kicker dw ↳rin.itoshi: i ask myself that everyday and ofc i'm your fav ↳yourusername: your brother's a close second ↳rin.itoshi: .. ↳yourusername: OK MB I'M SORRY ↳hiyori: FOR FUCKS SAKE CAN NO ONE PROPERLY DESCRIBE SOCCER OR WHAT. ↳mikka.kaiser: football* ↳kenyu.yukimiya: boy if you don't stafu rn

bye i had to repost bc i needed to edit something still had sm writing this

based on this request

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thenerdwhocreatesart · 8 months

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My Focus for 2024

LONG POST INCOMING!!!

.....hi

So I know I'm not on this app nearly enough to be dropping stuff like this on y'all but here goes lol.

2023 was......a year. A lot (and I mean a LOT) of BS started happening to me towards the end of the year: roommate decided to abandon me and our lease leaving me to deal with the consequences, that landlord then tried to scam me into giving him more money (which I almost took him to court over), worked in one of the most stressful and toxic work environments I've ever been in (I've since resigned and have a new stress-free job 🙌🏾), and as the cherry on top, I got scammed 🍾

Somehow, through it all, I found my passion for art again. Maybe (definitely) it was the overwhelming stress but I found myself more dedicated than ever to devoting time to my artwork.

With that being said, I want to start uploading and devoting this account to art again. I know I have uploaded my work in the past but now I'm fully set on making this my art blog. I will of course still post/repost stuff I like (I AM human lol) but this tumblr will now act as a gallery of my personal progress.

In addition to this, I have something much bigger in mind for the pieces I will be uploading;

I want to eventually create my own comic/graphic novel series

This has been one of my biggest dreams and I hope to document the journey on this tumblr. Of course, nothing is set yet as I'm just getting ideas down and sketching character ideas, but I'm excited for the journey nonetheless. I feel like the art community on this platform is very strong and that I can showcase my work without fear of judgement.

I will be uploading the pieces/characters I've done so far and will try to remain consistent. My nude pieces will be on my Twitter (I'm not calling it 'X') as I don't want to make the tumblr gods angry. I will begin posting again in the coming days.

Twitter (X): @blkchicwithapen

Instagram: @blkchicwithapen

Til next time, y'all be easy 🤙🏾

#long post #art #art journey #my art journey #hello #it's been a while #announcement #artist #black artists on tumblr #black artists #artists on tumblr

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lovesung127 · 3 years

Text

14 days to fall in (out of) love-l.ty

this is part of "the leftovers collab" by @tenderfrailty. please also go and check out all the other works by all the other writers. this is a valentine's day themed fic. so happy vday y'all <3 and if you are single like me then let's celebrate by reading my fic (bahaha shameless self promo) and drowning our sorrows in chocolate!!! hope you enjoy :)

Taglist:@aedreamzy

Summary: You and Taeyong are best friends, have been since childhood. But with the amount of time spent together, you eventually develop feelings for him. This is your story of falling in love with Lee Taeyong and the consequences attached to it.

Paring: taeyong x fem!reader

(jeno, mark, jaehyun, jennie, yeri,seulgi,nayeon,johnny are other characters in this story )

Genre: best friends to almost lovers, tried to make this more realistic, one sided love except that can be debatable, fluff, angst, unhappy ending,

Warnings: grammar errors(haha grammarly can only do so much), mentions of underage drinking(y/n does not participate tho)(don't underage drink guys! be smart), alcohol, kissing, mentions of the word "kill' but no one dies, unhappy ending, uhh lots of dialogue (if that counts as a warning lol)I think that's it tell me if i missed any

Word Count: 7,540

Disclaimer: I am in no way claiming this is how these celebrities mentioned in my story behave in real life. This story is all fiction.

just a heads up when 🏶 that symbol occurs it will shift to taeyong's pov until the next break. it will make more sense when you read it

This my original work so please do not copy or repost. Reblogging is perfectly fine tho <3

T-MINUS 14 DAYS

There are two weeks left until Valentine’s Day. During this time, every store decorates its walls with pink, red, and white. They fill every shelf with heart-shaped candies and Dove chocolates. You can’t really say you hate this holiday. It’s just it never held any importance to you. No one ever confessed their undying love for you. Likewise, you never confessed your undying love for anyone else. Well…there was one person you wanted to confess your “undying” love to…but you knew it would never work out.

Introducing your crush since seventh grade, Lee Taeyong. He is also known as TY, Yongie (to you), and the school’s heartthrob to everyone else. You've known him since you were five, and have been friends with him since you were seven. That’s all you have been: friends. Well, it’s not like you cared from the ages of seven to twelve. You never understood the concept of crushes. I mean how could you fathom liking any of the smelly boys in your class. The idea of crushes never crossed your mind. That was until you were at sleepaway camp the summer before seventh grade. The other girls in your cabin started to gossip about who they liked.

“There is this one guy in my math class, and oh my god he’s just so perfect,” Abby, your cabinmate, swooned.

“Ooohhhh, there is this guy in my science class, who I sit behind who is so nice to me! We talked like three times last school year!!!” Jessie, your other cabinmate, fangirled.

“What about you Y/N? Do you like anyone?” Abby turned to you.

“Oh…Uhm…I don’t think so?” You replied.

“You have to be lying! There must be someone you like!” Jessie pushed.

You thought long and hard about it. There weren’t many guys you liked, let alone any that talked to you. You could count the number of guys you found tolerable on one hand: Taeyong, Mark, and Jaehyun. Jaehyun is more so Taeyong’s friend than yours. You had no reason to dislike Jaehyun, so you guys were on good terms.

“Is there any guy that you get like sad when someone else talks to him?” Abby asked.

You thought about that and realized that maybe there was one guy who fits that description. Before that thought could solidify, you wrote it off as “not wanting to share your best friend with anyone.”

“Nah, there really isn’t anyone,” You responded.

“Ah…okay then. Anyways, who wants smores,” Just like that the moment dissipated. But ever since that day, the concept of crushes clung to the back of your mind.

T-MINUS 13 DAYS

You realized that you had a crush on Taeyong on Valentine’s Day in seventh grade. Over the summer break, Taeyong grew taller and lost some of his baby fat. This immediately drew the attention of many girls in your grade. So that was when you first witnessed someone giving Taeyong a Valentine’s. To say that you didn’t care that someone gave Taeyong a heart-shaped box of chocolates, would be a complete lie. Except you didn’t know why it would hurt. You and Taeyong are just friends. Why should it matter who gives him chocolates? Why should it matter whose chocolates he accepted?

After the girl left, you walked up to Taeyong.

“Yongie! Who was that?” You asked as you unlocked your locker that happened to be right next to Taeyong’s.

“Oh, that was Jamie. She just wished me a Happy Valentine’s Day,” Taeyong replied while opening up the box of chocolates.

“Did she say anything else besides that?” You asked while unpacking your backpack.

“Yea… she said she likes me…” Taeyong trailed off while trying to pop one of the chocolates into his mouth. Your heart clenched uncomfortably when he said that.

“Well… do you like her back?” You asked while looking up into his eyes.

You now know why you cared so much about a girl giving Taeyong chocolates.

“Oh… uh no. I told her I didn’t like her back.”

You like Taeyong.

“Oh… that must have been awkward.” You slammed your locker shut.

“Ah, it’s fine. Do you want a chocolate?” Taeyong extended the heart-shaped box out to you.

“Won’t it be weird for me to eat those chocolates? They are meant for you,” You said with a slight twinge of jealousy.

“I can’t finish this entire box! Come on, just take one.” You reached out with one hand to grab one of the chocolates. You bit into the candy and it oozed out caramel and raspberry filling.

You guess you can’t be too jealous if you also get to eat Taeyong’s candies.

T-MINUS 12 DAYS

You made many new friends when you entered high school. You and Taeyong were still close but naturally, you drifted apart into your respective friend groups. You still constantly hung out with Taeyong, so you can’t say that you were unhappy. Unfortunately, your crush on Taeyong did not fade. During your hugs with Taeyong, you found yourself clinging onto him a little longer. The years passed by, and it reached a point where sharing a bed with Taeyong was considered weird. Your weekly sleepovers slowly dwindled into once-a-month sleepovers. Which made you quite sad, because it meant you spent less time with him. You never really told anyone of your crush on Taeyong, but your new friends managed to figure it out.

You were sitting at your lunch table when Taeyong approached you. Ever since you guys sat at separate tables, he rarely ever approached you.

“Y/N are we still meeting up after school today? You promised you would come with me to buy a new game console!” Taeyong asked as he slid in next to you. Your friends Yeri, Seulgi, and Nayeon stared at the scene unfolding.

“Yea, I’ll meet you at the front entrance,” You replied with your mouth full of your sandwich.

“Okay, see you then!” Taeyong ruffled your hair and went back to his table.

You continued to eat your sandwich but felt someone’s eyes on you. You looked up and were met with the intrigued expressions of your friends.

“You like him don’t you,” Nayeon blurted out.

“What?!” You nearly choked on your sandwich.

“You like Taeyong?” Although it was a question, Nayeon said it more like a statement.

“Is it that obvious?” You sighed.

“Well, the heart eyes kind of gave it away for me,” Seulgi laughed as she ate a forkful of her pasta.

“And the stiffness when he sat next to you gave it away for me,” Yeri chimed in.

“Yea, I like him. I liked him since seventh grade, but he sees me as solely a friend. So, it makes no difference,” You sighed.

“Stop, that’s so cute omg! This is like one of those classic best friends to lovers trope!” Yeri squealed.

“Yea, except I don’t think he likes me back.”

“Y/N, how do you know? Try confessing to him!” Nayeon suggested, ever the bold one.

“Yeah, I rather not. I don’t want to ruin a perfectly fine friendship.”

T-MINUS 11 DAYS

You were finally a sophomore! How exciting! Not. Nothing changed except you now have harder classes and more homework. Taeyong, on the other hand, changed a lot. His voice got deeper, he grew much taller, and he was now even more attractive than before. His skin got clearer, and he got slightly more muscular. With these changes, it’s obvious that his fan club is only going to grow. Now his locker is filled with so many Valentines that he can’t even close it and needs to store some in your locker. Luckily, you still get to eat his chocolates.

T-MINUS 10 DAYS

Taeyong's new attractiveness led to his increased popularity. This led to him getting invited to parties. You don’t know why he dragged you to the current party you were at. You felt like it was more out of obligation. You wore a red corduroy dress with a white turtleneck underneath and white sneakers. You picked this outfit to fit the Valentine's Day theme of the party. You also decided to dress up since this was your first party ever. This is Taeyong’s third party, and it’s clear in the way he maneuvers around the venue as if he knows where everything is.

“Come on, let’s go get something to drink,” Taeyong took a hold of your hand and dragged you towards the kitchen.

You couldn’t help but stare at your hand intertwined with Taeyong’s. You couldn't help but feel that your hands fit perfectly together. This is so cliche Y/N; oh my god.

“Here you go. Remember to never leave your drink unattended! You don’t know what bad guy may try to slip something in there. Try to keep your drink close and cover the top, so people can’t put anything in,” Taeyong advised as he handed you the cup.

You brought the cup to your lips and immediately scrunched your nose in disgust. “Taeyong…is this alcohol?”

“Hmm yeah,” Taeyong answered while gulping his drink.

“Isn’t that illegal? We are underage,” You said while holding the red solo cup far away from your body.

Taeyong grabbed the cup from your hand and set it on the counter, “Yes, Y/N it is illegal. But come on have some fun! Everyone around here drinks.”

“I am not succumbing to peer pressure thank you very much,” You scoffed.

Taeyong chuckled at your comment before taking his free hand to grab yours to guide you towards the fridge. Taeyong handed you an unopened water bottle from the packaging inside the fridge. “Here you go, pure water.”

You took the water from him and your fingers slightly brushed against one another. You felt your cheeks grow hot. You thanked him for the water and took a sip. The ice-cold water ran down your throat but did little to cool your body down.

Taeyong held onto your hand again and led you into the crowd with your drinks. You planned to spend the whole night glued to his side. Sadly, plans don’t work out for you because Taeyong let go of your hand and got lost in the crowd. You spotted Mark with his friend Jeno and decided to join them. Instead of spending your night with Taeyong, the one who dragged you to this party, you spent it at Mark and Jeno’s side. Not that you minded. Jeno and Mark were nice company. Although, slightly tipsy Mark was quite a handful to deal with.

T-MINUS 9 DAYS

You have no idea how Taeyong managed to drag you to yet another party, but here you are. This time you opted for pants and a shirt instead of a dress.

“Taeyong,” You eyed your intertwined hands, “you aren’t going to ditch me like last time right?”

“Hey, I didn’t ditch you!” Taeyong defended himself.

“Yeah sure,” You rolled your eyes, “just please don’t leave me again. Last time I spent the whole party making sure “Tipsy Mark” didn’t accidentally break anything.”

“Oof, okay fine I’ll stay with you,” Taeyong held onto your hand tighter and dragged you deeper into the party.

You don’t mind this. If going to parties means you get to stay by Taeyong's side while holding his hand, you might actually come to like parties. Taeyong remembered from the last time you were here that you don’t drink alcohol, so he handed you a bottle of water. You thanked him, and he led you over to his friend group. You only knew Jaehyun, who you greeted, and the rest of the faces were a blur to you.

“Where’s Mark?” You asked no one in particular.

“He didn’t come today, he has a chem test to study for,” Jaehyun responded.

“Oh,” You nodded. Well, that’s great. The only people you knew here are Taeyong and Jaehyun. You would have asked Yeri, Nayeon, and Seulgi to come with you, but they all had tests to study for.

You stuck to Taeyong’s side and tried to make conversation with his friends, but you soon realized that you don’t fit in. They were talking about future parties, who they were dating, who they like, how often they got wasted, etc. The only thing you could talk about with them was the difficulty of your classes. At least, Taeyong was next to you.

“LET’S PLAY SPIN THE BOTTLE!” some voice screamed over the blaring music.

“Come on, Y/N let’s go play!” Taeyong eagerly dragged you over to the circle that was forming. You did not want to play. This whole spin the bottle and seven minutes of heaven thing seemed so dumb. You didn’t know any of the guys in the circle except Jaehyun and Taeyong, and you only wanted to kiss Taeyong. You were shocked that people actually played these types of games. You always thought it was just some made-up thing you would see in movies and TV shows, but here you were.

“Who wants to spin first?” some unnamed girl asked.

“I do!” Taeyong dropped your hand and lurched for the empty beer bottle on the floor.

You honestly did not want to be here. You were sitting between Taeyong and Jaehyun waiting for the bottle to stop spinning. Maybe the gods would be on your side and the bottle would land on you.

The gods were not on your side.

The bottle landed on Jennie Kim; she is another girl in your grade. Seeing how Taeyong immediately becames shy and let out a soft “yes”, you knew that Taeyong liked her. It made sense that Taeyong would like her: she’s pretty, popular, and as far as you know really nice. You honestly can’t even be mad. They both got up and went into the tiny closet amidst the hoots and hollers of the partygoers.

“You know, you should tell Taeyong you like him before it’s too late.”

You jumped at Jaehyun’s voice, “What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about your crush on Taeyong. You aren’t very subtle,” Jaehyun whispered back not that it would matter since the party was so loud.

“I don’t like him, Jaehyun,” You deadpanned.

“Huh, oh well. I’m just telling you better do something fast,” Jaehyun shrugged before turning back to the circle.

At that moment, Taeyong and Jennie emerged and they both had huge smiles on their faces. You could see, even from where you were sitting, the pink glow on Taeyong’s cheeks and Jennie’s smudged lipstick. You felt your heart drop.

You take back what you said. You hate parties.

T-MINUS 8 DAYS

You saw it unfold right in front of you. You walked into school on a regular Tuesday morning, wanting to be anywhere but in this building. You saw Taeyong standing close to someone near your locker, but you couldn’t make out their face. Even in sophomore year, your locker was still near Taeyong’s. You walked closer and realized they were holding hands. Your eyes slowly panned up from the intertwined hands to stare into the eyes of Jennie Kim. Your eyes moved from her face over to Taeyong’s.

“They’re dating. I found out yesterday,” Nayeon said as she linked your arms together.

As Jennie's lips touched Taeyong's cheek, you felt the familiar feeling of your heart sinking to the soles of your feet. He didn’t even tell you first. You had to find out yourself. Your friend who isn’t even close to him knew before you did. You heaved a sigh and walked to your locker to unpack your stuff.

Not only did you lose your crush, but you felt like you also lost your best friend.

T-MINUS 7 DAYS

Taeyong and Jennie became the campus couple. Everyone knew they were together and everyone supported them. Taeyong's Instagram feed contained photos of him and Jennie and vice versa. They looked so happy and perfect together that you felt guilty for still liking Taeyong. He’s taken for crying out loud and you are still pining after him.

Since Taeyong has a girlfriend, the two of you spent less and less time together. You didn't notice right away since you were entering your junior year and with that came the influx of work. Occasionally, when you had free time, Taeyong would invite you to hang out with him. Sadly, the hang-out was always accompanied by Jennie. You don’t know why Taeyong asked you to hang out with him only for you to third wheel on his date with Jennie.

Taeyong must be incredibly cruel and blind to drag you on these dates. Everyone knew you liked him, heck, even Jennie knew. Yet he still brought you to what he calls “my best friend and girlfriend should bond to get along” dates. You wanted to decline his invites every time to save the inevitable third-wheeling, but you couldn’t say no to Taeyong.

“Y/N! Join us over here,” Taeyong called you over to where he was sitting on the picnic blanket with Jennie. This looked too much like a date. They were even matching outfits. You looked down at your plain hoodie and jeans and took a seat awkwardly at the edge of the blanket.

“I don’t want to intrude. This looks like such a cute date. You really don’t need to keep inviting me on these "hang-outs" with your girlfriend,” You told Taeyong.

“Yea, I agree.” “No, it’s fine. These are not dates; we do those at different times!” Jennie and Taeyong said at the same time.

Well, at least you know that Jennie doesn’t approve of you hanging around.

“Taeyong, really it’s fine. You don’t have to keep squeezing in time to hang out with me. We are friends and always will be even if we don’t hang out every week. You two have fun! I’m going to get going,” You wiped the dust off your butt and waved goodbye to the couple. Jennie looked glad that you finally left. You turned your head before you were able to catch the look of longing on Taeyong’s face.

After that, Taeyong stopped contacting you as frequently. This made you sad, but you decided it would be for the better. If you saw Taeyong and his girlfriend less, your heart could stop cracking. Maybe this distance from Taeyong would finally cause you to lose feelings.

It is a late Sunday night when your cellphone screen lit up with a call. Strange no one calls me. You don’t recognize the number, but something in your gut tells you to pick up the phone.

“Hey Y/N, it’s Jaehyun,” Jaehyun’s voice broke through the phone.

“Uh hey… why are you calling me?” You asked confused.

“It’s Taeyong. He drank too much and for some reason won’t go into Johnny’s car,” Jaehyun explained. Johnny’s name rang a bell. He was one of the seniors in Taeyong’s friend group.

“Oh…uh, what does that have to do with me? I can’t drive,” You twirled a strand of hair between your fingers.

“He keeps saying he wants to walk home. But he won’t walk home with me. I tried to get him into my car but he won’t budge either.”

“Okay…but once again what does this have to do with me?”

“Can you come over and walk him home?” Jaehyun asked exasperated.

“You want me to what? It is literally midnight. If I leave the house now my parents will kill me.”

“Can’t you just sneak out? Help your best friend out?”

“We’re not really best friends anymore,” You muttered under your breath.

“Huh? What did you say? Anyways I’ll text you the address, it’s not too far from your house. I know Taeyong lives a couple of blocks down from you.”

“How do you have my address?”

“Ah, stop asking questions and just get here.” Your phone pinged with a text notification from who you could only assume was Jaehyun.

“Jeong Jaehyun if I get mugged or attacked on my way there you will never hear the end of it.” You huffed as you checked out the address. Oh, it was only the next street over and two blocks away from where Taeyong lived.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah thanks so much Y/N,” Jaehyun replied before he hung up.

What is the best way to go about this? You have never snuck out before, so you had no idea what you were doing. The front door would be the quickest, but also easiest way to get caught. Exiting from your bedroom window is one way, except if you fell you would break your leg. You could always just walk out. If your parents asked where you were going just explain it to them. They knew that you and Taeyong are friends. They won’t mind you helping him, right?

You decided to go with the third plan and just walk right out. You get dressed and grabbed your phone. Surprisingly, your parents didn’t catch you. You have no idea how you did it, but you were out. Thankfully, it was springtime so it wasn’t too cold. You arrived at the location shortly after. You saw Jaehyun and Taeyong sitting on the curb.

“You’re lucky I made it here in one piece Jaehyun.” You said as you walked up to him.

“Y/N! Thank you!”

“How did you get my number?” You asked as Jaehyun transferred Taeyong over to you.

“Taeyong gave it to me,” Jaehyun answered.

“In his drunken state?” You questioned.

“Yea, he asked me to call you through my phone because you are ‘mad at him.’”

“I’m not mad at him though. Also, why is he even this drunk? Shouldn’t his girlfriend, Jennie be taking care of him? Why didn’t you call her?”

“You haven't heard?” Jaehyun raised his eyebrows at you.

“Haven't heard what?” You asked confusion lacing your tone.

“Jennie was seen kissing some other guy at school, and Taeyong caught them. She ended up dumping Taeyong.” Jaehyun explained. Great. Once again, you are left out of Taeyong’s important life updates. “Taeyong decided to come to this party to forget about the breakup, but then he saw Jennie with her new boyfriend. So he decided to drink his sadness away.”

“Oh,” You looked over at Taeyong and saw that he was sleeping on your shoulder. You yanked his arm around your shoulder tighter. "Dang, I knew that he liked her a lot.”

“Yea, but Y/N this is your chance!” Jaehyun urged.

“My what?”

“Your chance, you can show Taeyong how you are the person he should be with!”

You looked over at Taeyong again before lifting your eyes to meet Jaehyun’s “there’s no point. I’ve accepted that I will be nothing but his friend.”

Jaehyun wants to tell you to keep trying because you never know but holds back. He bid you goodnight and drove off. You tightened your hold on Taeyong and began walking to his house.

“Y/N?” Taeyong opened his eyes.

“Hmm? You better have a good reason for having me come at midnight to pick you up.” You teased. Taeyong nudged his head deeper into your shoulder. You tensed up and felt your heartbeat pick up speed.

“I missed you! I haven’t talked to you in so long! I missed hanging out with you! We haven’t had one of our sleepovers in so long!”

“Yea, I missed you too.”

“Are we going to your house for a sleepover? We can watch your favorite movie and eat popcorn!” Taeyong looked at you with hope brimming in his eyes.

“Yongie, you are drunk. We are not meeting up for a sleepover. I’m here to take your drunk butt home.” You picked up the pace with your walking.

“You haven’t called me Yongie in so long,” Taeyong said his eyes in a daze. The way Taeyong kept looking at you made it hard for you to focus on holding him.

“Sorry, I guess.” You saw Taeyong’s house not too far from where you were standing. “We are almost at your house Taeyong. Do you have your keys on you?”

Taeyong fished out his keys from his pockets and placed them in your hands. Your fingers touched when he did that and your cheeks grew red. Taeyong took one of your free hands and intertwined them with his.

You held tightly onto his hand the rest of the way there. “Okay, Taeyong we are here! Do you need to sneak in or is dropping you off at your front door enough?”

“You are so pretty.”

“Taeyong do you need me to—wait... what?” You couldn’t have heard him right. Did he call you-

“Pretty. You are so pretty. Did you style your hair differently?” Taeyong ran his fingers through a couple of strands of your hair.

“I-I-I didn’t do a-anything to my hair,” You stuttered as you removed your hold from Taeyong’s waist and removed his arm from your shoulders. “Okay you are home now, please go in-”

Taeyong grabbed you by the waist and pushed you flush against his chest. Now you are certain your heart is going to leap out of your chest. Taeyong’s eyes drifted from yours to your lips. He started to lean in and before you could comprehend what was happening, Taeyong’s lips touched yours.

You physically stopped breathing for a moment. Is Taeyong kissing me? Taeyong is kissing me?

Taeyong is kissing me. Your body went into overdrive, and you kissed him back. You don’t know how long you’ve been kissing him. It must have been long enough for your fingers to slip in his hair and for his hold on your waist to tighten. You pull apart first. You might scream for joy. “O-Okay, Yongie you need to go inside now.” Taeyong nodded his head and gave you one more peck on your lips and entered his house. You stayed standing outside of his house for a couple more minutes. Taeyong just kissed you. You kissed Taeyong. You just had your first kiss, and it was with Taeyong. On the way back to your house, you couldn't stop smiling.

You fell asleep replaying that moment in your mind.

T-MINUS 6 DAYS

It is the next day, and you woke up with a big smile on your face. You remembered Jaehyun’s words from last night: Y/N this is your chance. Maybe it is your chance. Taeyong even kissed you! That has to mean something right?

You walked into school side by side with Yeri, “Oh my gosh, something really exciting happened last night, and I need to tell you!”

“Yo, what happened?” Yeri asked with excitement in her eyes.

You saw Taeyong standing by your locker and called out his name. You turned to Yeri, “I’ll tell you later.”

“Y/N! Hey! Jaehyun told me you dropped me off last night thank you so much!” Taeyong said.

“Oh yeah, I mean it wasn’t a big deal. Other than the fact that I had to leave my house at midnight and walk alone to pick you up.” You sarcastically said.

“Yeah, sorry about that.” Taeyong rubbed the nape of his neck.

“It’s fine!” You smiled at him. Your mind kept replaying the kiss from last night.

“I wasn’t too much last night, right? I wasn’t a burden or anything right?”

“You don’t remember anything from last night?”

“Ah no, all I remember was seeing Jennie with her new boyfriend. Everything else is blurry,” Taeyong explained.

“Oh,” You felt your heart drop.

“Oh? That can’t be good. Did I do something stupid?” Taeyong asked worriedly.

“No… Uhm you didn’t do anything stupid,” You felt tears prick the corner of your eyes, but you forced them away. You looked up into Taeyong’s eyes. “Do you really not remember anything from last night? What about when I dropped you off at your house?”

“Ah, not at all. My head hurts so much, and I quite honestly can not even remember how I got to my house without Jaehyun telling me.” Taeyong replied.

You couldn’t believe it. He didn’t remember. He has zero recollection of that kiss. The kiss that meant so much to you was so insignificant to him, and he doesn’t even have a clue that it happened.

“Y/N? What’s wrong? Are you okay?” Taeyong looked back at your watery eyes.

“It’s- how could- you know what? It’s fine. Forget about it. I hope your head feels better.” You whipped your head around and stalked off.

You pushed open the bathroom doors and stared into the mirror. You felt so dumb. How could you have thought that after that kiss everything would work out for you? People drunk kiss all the time. It probably meant nothing to Taeyong. You blinked back your tears. You decided that Jaehyun was wrong. It is not your chance and it never will be. On this Monday morning, you conclude that you hate Lee Taeyong.

T-MINUS 5 DAYS🏶

Taeyong hasn’t talked to you in a while. He kept trying to reach out, but his invites were always met with a “busy” or “I’ll see if I can come” (you never do come). Taeyong isn’t too sure if you are purposely avoiding him or if you really are just that busy. After all, you are both Juniors and you are taking 3 AP and 2 honors classes. He also can’t help but feel that something is wrong. You don’t seem as open to him as you used to be. He can’t figure out if it was his fault or something else.

He just left the bathroom and was walking back to class when he saw you standing by your locker. He was about to approach you when he saw that you weren’t alone. He saw one of Mark’s friends, who he thinks is Jeno, standing next to you. He knows it’s wrong to eavesdrop but he wanted to know what’s going on with you. You don’t have enough time for him, but you seem to have enough time to talk to Jeno. You should be in class right now not talking to some random person. (He knows this because you both showed each other your schedules.)

“Hey Y/N,” Jeno greeted you with his signature eye smile. Taeyong looked on from afar.

“Hey, Jeno, what’s up?” You smiled back at him.

“Uhm, I was wondering are you free this Saturday?” Jeno asked while nervously looking around.

“Hmm, yea. Why?” Wait, you told Taeyong that you were busy this Saturday.

“I was wondering if…Uhm… you would like to…Uhm… go out and get ice cream? I know we aren’t that close, but I was wondering if… Uhm we… could get closer?” Jeno asked.

“Wait is Mark going to be joining?”

“Oh…Uhm…er… no. It would...uhm…just be us two.”

“Oh… Yea. I would love to go!” You responded with a smile. “When should we meet up?”

“That’s great! Here let me give you my number,” Jeno handed you his phone.

Taeyong couldn’t believe it. You really are ignoring him. Why would you though? Did he offend you somehow?

Taeyong can’t help but feel a bit upset. He has no reason to though. You are both just friends. Why should it matter if some other guy asked you out on a date? It shouldn’t matter.

Right?

T-MINUS 4 DAYS

Your date with Jeno went surprisingly well, but you guys decided to remain friends. Plus, you may or may not have let it slip that you like someone (Taeyong). Then proceeded to rant all your problems over ice cream to Jeno. You still haven’t talked to Taeyong. Taeyong has tried multiple times to talk to you. Each time you either blatantly ignored him or lied and said you had other plans. You don’t think your heart and mind could handle being around Taeyong. Especially, since he doesn’t even remember the kiss you shared. Maybe you are overreacting, but that was your first kiss ever. It was a kiss shared with the one guy you have been crushing on since middle school. To think that it meant nothing to him kind of hurts.

You were on your way out of the building for lunch when the one person you have dreaded seeing for the past two weeks called your name.

“Y/N! Wait up!”

You didn’t even turn your head; you just tried to walk faster because you were not in the mood to talk to Taeyong.

“Y/N,” Taeyong called as he caught up with you. “How have you been? We haven’t talked in so long!”

That’s the whole point, idiot. You didn’t turn your head and continued walking.

“So uh…are you free this Saturday? Johnny is hosting a party, and I was thinking we could go together.”

“I don’t want to go to a party Taeyong.”

“Oh…uh… maybe we can do something else! They opened up this bubble tea shop downtown.”

“I have plans.”

“Do you really have plans or are you just trying to avoid me?”

You whipped your head around to look at Taeyong, “I’m busy.”

“Doesn’t seem like it? You told me you were busy last Saturday when I asked you to hang out.”

“Well, because I was.”

“Then how come I saw you accepting to go on a date with Jeno?”

“I-”

“Y/N, why are you ignoring me? Did I do something to offend you? Recently, you seem to want nothing to do with me.”

“That’s because I don’t want anything to do with you.”

“What? Huh? Why?”

“You really don’t remember, do you? Not even a little bit?”

“What? Y/N-what are you talking about? Remember what?”

You sighed, “just as I thought.”

“What is going on Y/N? Did something happen?”

“It’s nothing, forget it,” You tried to push past Taeyong, but he grabbed your shoulders.

“Can you please just tell me?” Taeyong looked down into your eyes. You wanted to tell him, but what if it just made everything worse? You don’t want to lose your best friend.

“I-” You looked away, “if I tell you…I’m scared it will make everything worse.”

“Huh? We are best friends. You can tell me everything and anything.”

“That’s the problem. We are just friends.”

With that, you slipped out of Taeyong’s hold and walked out the door. Taeyong felt like his heart was breaking, but he had no idea why. Seeing you walk out like that hurt more than when Jennie cheated and broke up with him. He was not just going to let you walk out like that.

“Y/N! Come back,” He ran out the entrance to try and find you. Thankfully, you haven’t walked too far. “Y/N!”

“What is it Taeyong?”

“Please just tell me what I did. I can’t stand you not talking to me. I miss hanging out with you, and these past few weeks have been so boring. Even, these past few months! I know we haven’t been as close since I started dating Jennie and then when we broke up. But please, just tell me what’s wrong! I miss my best friend. I miss you, Y/N,” Taeyong grabbed your hands.

Best friend. Of course. “Am I just really just your best friend?”

“Wait-what? What else would you be?” Taeyong’s eyes reflected worry.

“I can’t be anything more?” You pressed. This is probably the closest you will ever get to confessing.

“Anything more? Y/N-don’t tell me you li-” Taeyong’s grip on your hands tightened.

“Forget I said anything Taeyong,” You scoffed.

“What really happened the day you dropped me off at my house? I know this has something to do with it. Did I say anything out of the ordinary to you?”

“Taeyong, it’s fine. I’ll go with you to Johnny’s party. Please just drop it.” You tried to remove your hands from Taeyong’s, but he only held onto you tighter. It was almost as if he was scared you were going to disappear.

“No. Y/N tell me. Did I say something mean? Did I do something embarrassing? Did I get you in trouble? Did I kiss you or something?”

Kiss. “What do you think happened Taeyong?” You just wanted to go eat your lunch.

“Did I say that I like you or something?” Taeyong blurted out.

“What? You…like me?” You questioned hope growing in your tone.

“I-I-I d-don’t know,” Taeyong looked down.

“What do you mean you don’t know?” You felt your voice break.

“I…all I know was that I was jealous seeing Jeno asking you out on a date. I know that it was not the jealously that friends should feel.”

“What do you want me to say to that?” You were almost running out of patience.

“I’m not sure.”

You could not take this anymore. One minute Taeyong treats you like a boyfriend would, the next he places you in the best friend box. Standing in front of your school, you conclude that you still hate Taeyong.

T-MINUS 3 DAYS

It is currently senior year, the last year before you are off to college. It also happened to be a day before Valentine’s Day. A holiday you never really cared about. All Valentine’s Day meant to you was getting to eat the candy that Taeyong received from his admirers.

You scanned the pink, red, and white decorations lining the walls of your local grocery store. You walked over to the candy section and saw the pink holographic packaging that was so familiar to you. It is the exact heart-shaped box of chocolates Taeyong got all those years ago in seventh grade. You picked up the box.

“Huh, it seems much smaller than I imagined,” You placed the box into your basket.

Over the past year, you and Taeyong worked out whatever problems you were facing. You never told him about the kiss because you never worked up the courage. Plus, deep down you knew it would make no difference. Instead, you and Taeyong went back to your original dynamic. The only difference was that now Taeyong acted a bit more like your boyfriend. He held your hand often, gave you regular hugs and back hugs. Your movie nights and cuddling sessions increased. You never kissed again. Taeyong continued to send you mixed signals. You would walk into school holding hands, and he would leave with his arms around another girl. Fear consumed you too much to try and push past this barrier Taeyong put up. What if you pushed too far and lost a potential relationship and important friendship? You were content with how things were. Taeyong was yours only for the short 5-minute interactions throughout the day. He was yours to hold in those brief minutes, but those minutes were enough. You will just follow Taeyong’s pace. Maybe if you do, he will fall for you the same way you fell for him.

Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day; you sit at your desk prepping your gifts for your friends. A box of candy hearts for Yeri. A box of candy hearts for Nayeon. A box of candy hearts for Seulgi. M&Ms for Jaehyun. M&Ms for Mark. M&Ms for Jeno. A heart-shaped chocolate box for Taeyong.

“It’s now or never Y/N.”

T-MINUS 2 DAYS

“Yeri! I got this for you,” You handed Yeri her gift. “Happy Valentine’s Day!”

“Omg! Thanks! Dang, that’s a big bag. Did you buy something for everyone?” Yeri pointed to the bag in your hands.

“No problem! And no. I only bought stuff for my friends. The bag is so big because I have no other bags.” You laughed as you waved Yeri goodbye.

“Nayeon, Seulgi! Happy Valentine’s Day!” You handed them their gifts.

“Aw, thanks!” Nayeon side hugged you.

“Thanks, babe you're the best!” Seulgi hugged you too.

“No problem guys, I’m going to hand the remaining gifts out. See you guys at lunch.”

On your way to Taeyong’s locker, you ran into Jaehyun and Mark. “Guys, happy Valentine’s Day!”

Jaehyun received the candy with a raised eyebrow, “shouldn’t you be giving this to Taeyong? You know the guy you like?”

“You like Taeyong?!” Mark asked shocked as you placed the gift in his hand.

“Yea,” you sighed. “And I did prepare a gift for him.”

“I’m rooting for you Y/N!” Jaehyun cheered.

“Me too!” Mark smiled “Even though I just found out today.”

You maneuvered your way through the school’s hallway.

You finally stood in front of Taeyong’s locker. He had no lock on. He did this every Valentine’s Day. One could say he’s cocky for this, others could say that he’s thoughtful. You let out a laugh as you opened his locker.

“Dang, he is still just as popular as he was before.” There are already tons of gifts stacked up in his locker. After a quick survey of the gifts, you realized yours is the only one with a separate note attached to it. “Well, at least I’ll stand out.” You shut his locker door and made your way to your next class.

Ding Dong Ding Dong the bell rang.

“Y/N, are you joining us at lunch?” Yeri asked.

“Yea, I just left my lunch in my locker. Plus, I still need to give Jeno his gift.”

“Oh, Jeno told me he’s sitting with us at lunch today. I think he and Mark are coming!”

“Oh that’s great, just let me get my lunch!”

“Got it, I’ll see you there.” Yeri turned in the direction of the cafeteria while you left to go to your locker.

From afar you saw a figure standing near your locker. You soon realized that it was Taeyong. You were about to approach him when you saw that he was inspecting his Valentine’s gifts.

🏶

Wow, I got a lot of gifts. Taeyong started to sort through the various things he received.

“Is that a cake?” Wow, that is new. A certain pink holographic packaging caught his eyes.

“That’s odd didn’t Jamie transfer schools? Is this another random confession?” He picked up the box and saw that there was a note attached to it.

People never leave me notes.

thought I should make up for all the times I've eaten your chocolates throughout the years. I’m glad one of us is popular bc at least we get free candy out of it lol. also happy vday's. ig you can figure out from the box what I'm trying to say?

Y/N? Did she send me this? Is she trying to confess-

Oh. He picked up my box. From your vantage point, you could not read Taeyong’s expression. You started to walk closer.

“Yongie I-” You called as you walked closer to him. But before you could catch his attention, you saw someone else walk up to him. You are not familiar with the girl who is standing in front of Taeyong right now. She slipped her hands into his and leaned in to kiss him.

She just kissed Taeyong. She kissed Taeyong, and he did not push her away.

Taeyong happened to be facing you, and you could see the way his eyes lit up.

His eyes never lit up like that when he looked at you. At that moment, it hit you that you were too late. You have always been too late.

“Oh Y/N!” Taeyong called your name.

You snapped out of your daze and walked over to the couple.

“Hey! This is my girlfriend, Rina. We started dating yesterday. Rina this is Y/N, my best friend.” Rina waves at you and you wave back.

“It’s nice to meet you,” You smiled at her. She was taller than you, but a couple of inches shorter than Taeyong. She had long black hair with blonde tips and bangs. She had a heart-shaped face and a pretty figure. She seemed to fit Taeyong’s type perfectly.

“I also received your chocolates! Thank you but erm sadly I can’t-”

“Taeyong, it’s fine. I’m so happy for you guys! Happy Valentine’s Day!” You flashed a smile.

“Y/N wait-” Your name still sounds so pretty coming from his lips even after all the times he hurt you.

You turned around and made your way to the cafeteria.

Ugh, I forgot my lunch in my locker.

T- MINUS 1 DAY

It’s the day after Valentine’s Day. Your desk is littered with the wrappers of the candy your friends gave you. Your phone lit up and the time read 7:00 PM. Your nap lasted longer than you expected. You threw on a sweatshirt and decided to go for a drive.

You ended up pulling into your town’s grocery store. As you grabbed a cart, you noticed that all the decorations have been taken down. The walls are no longer filled with pinks, reds, and whites. All the candy hearts, chocolates, and teddy bears have been removed from the shelves. Just like that, the holiday is over.

People sure move on fast.

Just like that, a year's worth of memories including hand holding, fake dates, and movie nights that turn into cuddling sessions thrown away. All flushed down the drain. Taeyong has a girlfriend and once again you are alone.

T-MINUS 0 DAYS

You realized that you can’t make Taeyong fall in love with you, but Taeyong can make you fall out of love with him.

FIN

A/N: hey y'all it's annie! i was planning for "see you around" to be my first full fic but I ended up finishing this one sooner. so i guess this fic counts as my first full fic! if you read this far oh my gosh thank you so much. leave any feedback you want and i hope you enjoyed reading this fic as much as i enjoyed writing it! see you guys in my next fic! stay safe and healthy<3 and happy vday💕💕💕

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sterek · 2 years

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Everytime I log onto Instagram I immediately have to log out, my feed and explore page is flood in reposts and pictures of the cast and crew behind the scenes. I know everyone loves seeing all the cast back together, but I have no hope for this movie, and I feel like the more the cast and crew posts behind the scene shots it’s just like they’re trying subtly hype up the movie or something, idk honestly it just rubs me the wrong way. I love seeing them all together, but maybe I just know this movie is going to be a dumpster fire, the more I cringe when I see behind the scene photos. What are your thoughts!? I know you mentioned that you weren’t gonna watch the movie but I’d love to hear what you think about it. I just need to vent to someone my frustrations with this movie and the behind the scene stuff, Lolol, hope u don’t mind me choosing you 🥺

Hi beloved! My current vibe is of not giving a fuck, actually. If we were in 2017 I'd be so upset over it I probably wouldn't be functioning properly, but not now. I have a busy job and personal problems to deal with so I truly do not have enough energy to waste on this mess. I don't follow anyone from the cast on social media besides dylan and hoechlin. I'm barely on twitter or instagram anyway. The only time I have to hear about the movie is when I talk with y'all, thankfully, so I have a good emotional distance from it. I don't like that it's happening, it's going to be awful and derek is gonna suffer again (that's the worst part of it all for me) but I'm staying out of it no matter what. You guys can totally keep sending me asks, I don't mind that! But I won't interact with the movie in any significant ways unless it has some scenes I want to gif into sterek aus lol

#asks #anon #hope you're well anon

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toisiit · 3 years

Text

throne and paradise endings, answering questions from inbox, my goodbye :)

it's been a year since i stopped writing throne and paradise, and all copies (save for ao3 which has been orphaned) have been taken down, so i've come alive here just to give you lovelies one last thing:

throne: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23801650?view_full_work=true

paradise: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23802184?view_full_work=true

final chapters: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1qVmqPV7zzQUNFTCzM9-AeA_hpRVex0CwxDKyFhAD2C0/edit?usp=drivesdk

these are the links to the unfinished ao3 versions of throne and paradise, and the doc is to the final chapters :)) whilst it's obviously not up to my standards and i didn't want to even write the endings because i wanted to leave it all behind, i felt bad since i was two chapters away from the end and didn't leave you guys with any closure from the ending that i'd been building up towards the whole way through. the endings were announced on wattpad (where i offered to give them to anyone who wanted them through dms) but i figured i'd drop it here since a lot of my ao3 fans were tumblr hoes too. i probably should've shown it to you guys earlier but i'm a bit of a coward :)) i literally deleted tumblr and logged out of my account because i was so scared to be back here after what happened LOL well anyways, i hope you enjoy the shitty endings. there's a side stories doc linked in the final chapters one so if you feel like sitting down and reading like 17k of paraathy post-paradise or claudiana, go for it :))

just saying, thanks to everyone who left so many sweet messages in my inbox :)) there were a bunch of questions asking about the deleted/unfinished works, and there were a lot of encouraging comments that honestly, definitely helped for me to gain some kind of confidence to come on here again as toisiit.

i don't mind talking about throne/paradise/whatever if you want to scream about the endings to me and how y'all knew where i was going with it, so feel free to spam me in my dms slash wherever you can find me lol

just a quick little q&a session here since i'm too lazy to respond to each question from my anon inbox individually:

will you ever repost "cripple"?

nope, i've got no intentions to since in the end, i didn't have an actual structure planned out. if you want a brief

Why can't I see any of your ao3 stories from your profile?

again, that's explained up above but i ended up orphaning them to get rid of all traces and links back to me lol i was sick and tired of it. now, i regret it and wish i'd just gone anon instead of ORPHANING THE FUCKING WORKS AND NOT BEING ABLE TO RELEASE AN ACTUAL ENDING but whatever, i kind of tried to make up for it lol

Did claude in intoxicating lose his memories of Diana. Though the characterisation was absolutely brilliant. But i wonder that did he completely stop hating the thing that killed his lover and made his lyf painful(from his pov). Or because he forgot about diana or partially remembered her that he started "loving" athy.

fun fact! i remember when this was sent in and i actually wrote half a mini-essay before i accidentally did that macbook side swipe thing and it took me to my previous page and basically got rid of 2000+ words :D uhmmmm to be honest i don't actually remember what i wrote, but going off the vibes i was probably going for, i think he would have tried to forget about diana (after the ruby palace massacre) and then when he became grossly infatuated with athy, he would have focused on her instead whilst still associating her with diana (without realising it, of course. he just notices how athy's golden hair feels a little familiar, notices how her high cheekbones feel a little similar, the same creamy skin).

he definitely would have forgotten how she killed his lover/made his life painful as he became obsessive over athanasia, and instead wanted to have a claim over her (rather than kill her since she killed diana inadvertently). i'm glad you liked his characterisation as fucking WILD AND GENUINELY PSYCHO TOT that he is lol i was rereading intoxicating to try and gain closure and was like 🧍🏼‍♂️🧍🏼‍♂️why is this man so fucking creepy like the way that he talks and acts around athanasia is genuinely gross but in that weird like lolita way... and rereading how athanasia tried to convince herself that he was purely in love with her rather than off doing god knows what genuinely made me pity her before i realised that i was the one who wrote that 🧍🏼‍♂️🧍🏼‍♂️

Was intoxicating AU's athy more like diana? Like im just asking because here claude says that he tried to ignore diana's features in athy but couldn't. Which is a foil to what manhwa claude says and how manhwa's LP Athy is portrayed. Btw apart from the claude and felix digression i found the depiction of incest abuse outstanding and very loyal to real cases. Your story was the first that got me studying this crime and its effects and i realised this is the worst form of pedophilia. So kudos.

when i write, i really try to separate what goes on in the manhwa to how i portray the characters as a) i feel like if they're too similar then i can't get away with differences e.g. in paradise, athy being portrayed a total cold-blooded bitch instead of a mature, nice girl meant that when she did cruel things, people didn't find it as weird as she'd been characterised as something else and b) sometimes i find their characters boring so i add spice in other ways LOL it just isn't convenient to write about them in ways that don't fit the storyline i want. i kind of ignore the manhwa now 🧍🏼‍♂️🧍🏼‍♂️BUT ANYWAYS, i'd say that she physically resembled diana (pretty sure that was established in the manhwa so i did take that concept and apply it to intoxicating since it did kind of support the reason why claude even got involved with athy in the first place ??) and i suppose they could have been emotionally as well.

i tried to maintain athanasia's childish side to really hone in on the fact that claude was doing those things to a child, let alone his daughter. when she is thirteen, she is naïve enough to believe that if she can convince herself that he loves her as a romantic partner, then she will ignore the scorn that they will face if they're found out. she comes to terms with the fact that he doesn't love her that way and so she withdraws, realising that he shouldn't love her as a partner anyway (which is why when they argue later, it is because claude has realised that he wants her as a romantic partner and wants to make her his empress, whereas athanasia wants a father).

when jennette is introduced, she definitely has a grown in the sense that she knows to withdraw, knows to be quiet about what her father did to her, but she also is jealous when his attention is taken away from her. i didn't really think about diana's characterisation since she only appears in claude's single hallucination, but i'd say she was more demure in that scene which does kind of tie into how athanasia changes to become more lady-like, reserved etc after she withdraws from claude? i didn't really think about it lol sorry 🧍🏼‍♂️🧍🏼‍♂️

also the claude felix thing was NOT MEANT TO HAPPEN I GOT CARRIED AWAY OKAY it started off as a joke in my server and then i was like lol sure why not and now... 🧍🏼‍♂️🧍🏼‍♂️sorry felix you deserved so much better than what claude did to you TOT but regarding what you said about how it was loyal to real cases, i'm glad that i could at least somewhat portray it in that way (of course not glad that it happens, but i'm glad i could at least try to shed some light on these things) !! it would have been better if i highlighted the relationship more and really pointed out that athanasia's view of it was intentionally rose tinted so that she could try to make it seem 'okay', especially as there were some miscommunications about if i was glorifying and romanticising it or not, but all in all, i'm glad you enjoyed it :))

Did anastasius groom claude in intoxicatong AU. Like how did claude revolt and attempt to murder Ana if he was also groomed and was following the same path. Is groomed Athy of the same mindset as groomed claude. Or is she stronger or weaker. And did claude try to vent these same things onto Diana when he first met her,but later he tried changing his mind???

i think i had plans for anastasius to have groomed/sexually assault claude? i just realised how bad that sounds OH MY GOD i swear i don't go around writing about these things anymore oh my god... okay but i think i definitely was going to go down that path, and have that as the excuse as to why claude revolted against anastasius and killed him. in this case, claude would have killed him as a type of revenge (and if you're really going down the cruel, gruesome, dead dove please don't eat trail, he may have topped him as an attempt to gain back his power), and all of his abuse in his childhood could potentially explain why he followed the same path and went after athanasia. in intoxicating, i don't remember if i ever had plans to 'explain' why claude did what he did (as in what actually pushed him to the edge to even consider doing what he did, even if it was initially a test to see if he could push athanasia away) as i was concerned that it may be seen as an excuse, not an explanation.

however, i did have a mini-series called cripple that was meant to be claude's childhood to the ruby palace massacre, which definitely would have entailed all of the above (anastasius sexually assaulting and grooming claude, the revolt etc). using that as a support for the contents of intoxicating, in this case, it could have definitely been a reason for why he went after athanasia. they would have had similar mindsets as children (both wanting attention and love from an older male figure, being innocent and naïve and thus easy to be taken advantage of, not understanding the weight of the situation), but as they got older, they definitely went different ways.

claude would have been furious, murderous, craving vengeance and to destroy his brother in the cruellest way possible because his pride had been tarnished (i see claude as a very prideful man, so having this kind of thing done to him would have driven him to the edge). he would have loathed anastasius, wanting to torture him and leave him to rot. once he withdrew, he would find himself giving in - he would be forced upon whether he liked it or not. he'd be an example of victims who emerge loathing their abusers, vengeful, and full of hatred and distrust towards the world. athanasia, on the other hand, withdrew in an attempt to protect herself but would find herself giving in regardless. i think she would be an example of victims who go back to their abusers anyways, as they find it as a better thing than being on their own. i don't really like to say that athanasia is weaker as it has negative connotations, but you could definitely take it that her resolve was weaker.

again, i didn't think too much about diana's characterisation in intoxicating, but claude could very well have attempted to mimic these behaviours onto her. however, i don't really see it as that. if i briefly imagine the situation, i think that claude would have tried to better himself in a way after killing anastasius and attempting to salvage his pride and regain his sense of control. he knows that what was done to him was bad, was horrible, was something that no other person should go through, and as such, i like to think that claude wouldn't have done any of those things to diana because he wanted to be a better man for himself, and for her as he loved her. however, after her death, he probably would have been pushed to the edge and found himself in a downward spiral, which would explain why when he met athanasia, he would have lost all moral control and would think that it was okay to do something like that to her.

thank you so much to everyone who has supported me since april 2020 when i first started writing throne and paradise, and for everyone who continued to encourage me to keep on writing even when i wanted to stop and give up. i know it sounds a little bad, but you guys really helped me to keep going (in life too), and i really appreciate all of your kind words !! i hope you enjoy the ending as shoddy as it is <3333333

love,

toisiit

#toisiit #toi #wmmap #ao3 #who made me a princess #uhh wow this was just off my recommendations #lmfao this was much longer than it was supposed to be #anyways love y'all #<3

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