#holy fuck he’s such a dick

[justyourtypicalwriter]

Anyone ever re-read amab and get to that one part. You know the “cut things short part” and then just want to kill a man-

@askmarshandbroflovski if you were wondering what amab is and you wanna suffer through the angsty masterpiece this au is (I strongly suggest checking it out)

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 333

I once more believe Battinson Batman needs to be given a child. Or multiple. Multiple children. I am also once more rotating Ghosts Have Wings Au. 

So Batman, still early in his whole vigilante career ends up busting a shipment, nothing too surprising there. Pretty usual honestly. Except for what was in one of the crates already open. Because it looks like some sort of gemstones but… perfectly spherical. Strange. Suspicious. 

But it’s also late, er, early in the morning, and the GCPD is notoriously corrupt, so like, he’s not going to just leave the weird gemstones, each about the size of a plum or so. (Dear Gotham he’s apparently hungry, and might inwardly vow to never let anyone realize what his tired mind decided to use as measurement) 

So he, unknowingly spurred on by more than just a slight bit of ecto contamination, takes the strange spheres back home. Just puts them in his pockets and heads back to the manor that they moved back into after the whole Riddler mess. (He even found a cool cave! With a bunch of terrifying bats, but they made a glass separator! For safety!) 

But in Bruce’s defense of forgetting about them, he’s more than a little tired and hungry and just wants to sleep for a bit, y’know? So maybe he forgets about the gems as he falls asleep in the chair in the cave (Alfred was not pleased!) until he starts digging around for them. Erm. Did they fall out somewhere?? There’s no holes in his belt pockets… 

And maybe these sort of things shouldn’t slip his mind, the spheres had felt Weird with a capital W, but he gets forced to a circus and there’s an… accident. So maybe he pushed it away as not important because there’s now an angry grieving eight-year old living with him and he’s panickedly reading any and all sort of parenting books he can get a hold of because he has no clue what he’s doing. 

Yeah, maybe his back is itching like crazy no matter what he tries, and maybe he threw up the other day, but it’s fine. This is fine. 

….

Oh dear Gotham those are feathers, this is not fine- ALFREEED!

[nico-di-genova]

[chrisbunnys]

i think i just fucking came.

[slut4evanpeters]

just gonna leave this here

[givemewallywestorgivemedeath]

There are only so many fanfics that use the entirety of DC as cardboard cutouts to prop up bat family characters that I can read before I go berserk.

I swear to god. Every character that has ever been shipped with a bat or coexists on the same team as a bat is owed an apology.

How many Young Justice fanfics that solely revolve around Tim must exist? How many Titans fanfics centered only on Dick? Why is it a herculean task to find a Justice League fanfic without Bruce as the main character?

And then even when you do find a fic that seems like it's balanced, everything still revolves around the bat. Like Kon, Cassie and Bart have nothing else going on in their lives except Tim and Tim's issues or thinking about Tim. Like Donna and Wally and Roy just cannot function if they aren't spending every waking moment thinking about Dick.

I'm... Guys. I'm at my limit. I swear to god. We need to make a Batman tag and surgically remove all these fics and quarantine them there. We'll keep the actual DC fics and they can do whatever the fuck they want in their own tag. It's getting ridiculous how hard it is to find fanfic that's actually DC related and isn't just 'The BatFam Show'.

[frogaroundandfindout]

“What the hell is the matter with you? I mean aside from the obvious! Ignoring all the many layers of denial. And the fifty feet of psychological body armor that you throw up to avoid feeling anything! Aside from that! And the pathological need to control everything on earth and beyond! Ignoring all that! What exactly is your compulsion, your burning desire, to deceive, lie, and manipulate the only people who give a good god damn about you!?”

“Did you think I wouldn’t accept your help? Do you think I’m that shallow? That I’m that insecure?”

“But why lie to me of all people? Me.

“I have more faith in you than anyone.”

After finding out that Bruce owns Optitron, dick stalks into the batcave and confronts Bruce. He demands to know if Bruce thought he was truly so shallow as to deny Bruce’s help if he offered it openly and why he would lie to him. Him. Bruce tells him that dick has placed too much faith and trust in him. Dick asks where all this is coming from and Bruce admits that’s something wrong but that he doesn’t know what. He then tells dick he’s sorry for deceiving him, but that dick should have known better. Dick shouldn’t trust anyone. Not fully anyway. (outsiders vol.3 #21)

[shower-phantom-ideas]

I want to believe danny finds it more annoying to use children swears.

Vlad uses food

Mr. William Lancer uses book titles

And Danny can say things like “oh golly this is on heck of a situation”

At first it started as it starts with any child. Wanting to test the limits of the rules and then he noticed it annoyed some adults. They can’t tell him to just swear :3. So he kept it. As he gets older he does curse like normal but not very often. Like it’s rare. Imagine his coworkers the first time he drops the “f-bomb”

Do you think they are shellshocked (thats a good handsoap) or do you think they scold him.

[cluescorner]

I gave myself a writing challenge and I am fascinated by it

So basically I put the robins in a randomizer to give them a new order/role (because I just...kinda wanted to see what would happen + I like role-reversal AUs) and got results that are giving me a fucking brain blast.

Stephanie, the first sidekick who defines the role

Tim, the sidekick who dies and comes back wrong

Dick, the sidekick who saves Batman from himself

Damian, the sidekick who was never supposed to be a sidekick but would go on to prove everyone wrong

Jason, the youngest sidekick who is still the Kid Wonder

...So this is fucking wild. I've got some ideas and several of these fit perfectly (Dick's role is pretty similar to his one in canon), but some of these are fucking INCREDIBLE to explore (Steph being the first Robin is something I never even considered but tbh I kinda love it).

I probably won't write a fic or anything because tbh I don't like publishing my writing that much, but I might expand this into a full AU and post about it. I might randomize other stuff too (ie, stuff that I cannot change vs stuff that I cannot keep the same) but this fucking rules as a starting point.

[hechose]

'lestat crossed an ocean to save claudia and louis from the paris coven!!!'

..... im gonna hold your hand while i bash you over the head when i tell you this,,, that mans went to paris to be healed by armand,,, that mans went to paris to punish the people he abused for daring to fight back,,,

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 114

What do y’know, another de-aged Danny. And another Danny with Talons. Only this time he’s found by a specific Talon. A very old Talon who is a very dramatic bastard. A very dramatic bastard who half grew up in a circus as a knife juggler and thrower. 

One Elder Talon William Cobb, has now acquired a Hatchling. Along with his fledgling Gray Son who keeps trying to peer at the small not-quite Talon. Why he gets this sensation to not tell the Court, he isn’t quite sure, but his instincts have never driven him wrong before. 

Now if only the bats would stop chasing them while his flock are trying to search for a nesting spot…

[tcfactory]

i was going through some old asks and now im colluding concepts og!mobei finds out og!sqh is no.1 emergency fuck of the peak. bro is the sect bicycle. mobei is seething and he doesnt know why. sqh also doesnt know why. "WHY ARE YOU MAD YOU USE ME FOR THE EXACT SAME THING?!" the word 'use' makes him more mad. he is sulking and no one here realises its jealousy

Please imagine MBJ somehow arriving to the conclusion that SQH has to have some special magic dick that made them pick him as the best emergency fuck. And ofc MBJ has to try for himself, maybe that will help shed some light on things.

(They are not going to learn anything about why SQH is the sect bicycle, but they do learn that he has sadistic dom tendencies that MBJ enjoys probably more than he ever expected.)

[evil-bisexual-of-sorts]

I feel the need to inform everyone of a fairly recent headcanon of mine. It’s fun, and it makes no sense, but I love it. So everybody here knows about fairytales and folktales and all that, right? So basically I think that members of the Batfam will occasionally just say something completely deranged and also entirely plausible based off of a story, and it all devolves into chaos from there.

The current system has points and they have rankings and stuff based on how many people agree with their claims.

Steph is winning right now, and the story she used is now banned from their discussions due to the utter chaos that ensued.

[kitaava]

trigger warning. do not read if you dont want to read something triggering.

[frogaroundandfindout]

Nightwing Vol.2. #59

[midnight1404]

for some reason a lot of the "Key-five characters" hard-die stans tends to be the ones who worse takes have of of these aforementioned BUT also of the rest of characters`what just makeseverything worse