#his words for the last couple of episodes have been laced with irony

[highly-flammable]

The irony of Adar schooling Elrond on never making war in anger while doing exactly that himself is delicious.

[thisisthestoryofanotherus]

It’s Different 

Part 10 of Crash and Burn 

SERIES MASTERLIST

Summary:  You and Ashton were never on the best of terms, maybe since you guys were so similar: sarcastic, stubborn, protective and had a true love of art. After a misunderstanding and $200 on the line, you find yourself (fake) dating the campus’ most adored (and drooled after) art student… with friendships at risk and feelings emerging it was only a matter of time until the inevitable crash and burn

A/n: This can be read by itself or part of my Ashton social media au! This is nearly 2000 words but after being gone so long figured I needed to do something to bring this series back to life. And what better way to fix this series than with a long drabble hopefully tying things together? Next part will be up Wednesday! My goal is to have this finished by the end of the year so expect frequent updates! 

Also with this title couldn’t help but this of THIS SONG (and learn more about Jae lol) that I highly recommend! 

 As always lmk what you guys think and thanks for reading! -Lydia

You had never been so out of breath from one flight of stairs, unable to control your heavy breathing as you kicked Lisa’s door as your only means of knocking. One flight of stairs should be nothing (even if you could use more time at the gym, pssshhh like that was going to happen) but going up the stairs with the balancing act of snacks filling your arms made things difficult. Kicking the door one more time, your best friend finally opened her door.

“Would you not kick down my door? Gosh-OH you brought snacks!” Lisa practically screamed. She may act like a bad bitch, but it did not take very much to make her happy. Sometimes you just needed several bags of hot cheetos and some ice cream.

“Do you see any available hands? Move! My arms feel like they’re falling off from walking with all this! You just have to live on the second floor…you just thrive on my misery don’t you?”

She giggled as she held the door open, watching as you threw the various boxes and bags across her kitchen counter. Arms finally free, you collapsed onto the floor trying to catch your breath.

“Ugh I’m gonna die” you exclaimed, stretching your arms out above you.

“So overdramatic” Lisa simply rolled her eyes, organizing the snacks you so oh graciously brought. “So what are we watching?”

“Oh I’m fine with anything” you said, quickly standing and heading over to the couch, making sure to grab a handful of items with you.

                                                 ____________

You were now 6 episodes into the latest Netflix drama and before the next intro is able to start Lisa presses pause.

“WHHHAATTT ARE YOU DOING?!!” You scream. “It was just getting good!”

“We need to talk…” Lisa says, placing the remote on the coffee table and turning face you.

“About what? What is more important than finding out-“

“Y/n….we need to talk about Ashton”

You pressed your lips together and sat up, small remnants of the junk you devoured all night falling down your shirt onto the blanket in your lap. You knew this would come up eventually, just not after a cliffhanger like this. But even that shock factor wasn’t enough to distract your friend’s curiosity. Ashton, of course she wanted to know. Lately things have been…different. It has been nearly a month of your so-called relationship with Ashton. You guys had agreed on two weeks. Two weeks tops of letting the entire campus think you guys were “dating” after he kissed you at that party, saving you from the embarrassment of having your crush all over another girl while you stood there trying not to cry. You thought this might show him what he was missing out on, but the irony is you never even saw (or thought) much of Jae anymore.

Instead your time was spent almost exclusively with Ashton, not that you’d ever admit that. Both of you looking for small excuses to spend more time together. Something needed to be done with the project, studying for class, getting coffee, just wanting to see each other… All leading to hours of just enjoying the others company. The random drives to new restaurants he wanted to try, his dumb jokes, his smile, the way he would stay close, often grabbing your hand, all for show of course until his small touches became something natural… Now, it was weird if he didn’t grab onto your hand or pull you closer, even if you were sitting alone on the couch at his place watching a movie or painting. After the two-week mark, neither of you acknowledged this deadline. As you were approaching three weeks neither of you pulled away or called this off…whatever this was. Because honestly you had no idea. Any outsider believed you guys were the happy couple you pretended to be. In reality you knew this was nothing but pretend, but it felt so real. You almost wished he completely ignored you when he wasn’t forced to put on a show. Maybe then you wouldn’t be lost in this idea that maybe you guys were actually together.

The lines were becoming blurred, more obscure with every moment. Like last night. You didn’t notice the time as you both were crouched over your project, enamored in the painting to notice the sun had long gone down. Ashton refused to let you wander the campus at 4am to get to your place. Said you could just crash in his spare room. You didn’t miss how his hand lingered a little to long against your own as he handed you some clothes. How his bright eyes seemed to be screaming something as he gazed at you…saying something he refused to say aloud, before quickly saying goodnight and leaving the room. How sweet he was the next morning…waking you up with promises of pancakes and waffles from the café down the street.

With moments like this… you had no idea where you stood. How were you going to explain this to even your best friends when you didn’t know yourself?

“What’s going on between you guys y/n?” she asked you. Voice free of judgement, just concern.

“I-…..I don’t know” You sighed, lying back against the couch.

“What do you mean you don’t know?” She asked, placing her hand on you shoulder. “You know you can tell me anything. And I know there’s more going on than what you’re telling me-“

“Honestly Lisa nothing has happened! Without all of this I see him all the time between classes and our project..”

“Y/n you have known him since freshman year… meaning you have had dozens of classes together with him and you never saw him this much. I mean sure there was the whole ‘I hate you Ashton Irwin’ thing but-“

You laughed at this. If someone would have told you a month ago you would be “dating” you long term enemy you would have told them they were on crack. No one, especially you, would have expected the two people who couldn’t even be in the same room as each other without arguing would end up spending nearly every second together. Did you still find him infuriatingly annoying? Of course. BUT you also couldn’t help the feelings you had for him freshman year from slowly creeping yet again into your heart. And that was the most frustrating part of it all. Because just like back then, this was all bound to blow up in your face.

“Look Lisa you’re right. Things are different. Even more so than when he kissed me that night-and before you ask yes it was just the one time. I just don’t know how to explain it…it’s almost like it was back then when he was just there. Always. How I craved his company during the few instances he wasn’t there and just lost myself in him…but now it’s so much more complicated… I don’t know where we stand and I don’t want to know because once I do I know it’s me who’s going to be hurt.”

“Y/n that’s what I was afraid of when you said you were doing this. Last time you guys were this close it ended up with him hooking up with Chelsea and you heartbroken in bed for days. I don’t want to see you go through that again.”

You looked up at your best friend. Really you did not deserve her. Seeing the love and concern in her eyes made you feel the start of tears in your own.

“Give me some credit. I’m much more mature than I was back then…”

“Mmhmm. Says the same person who recommended this be a Disney marathon.” Lisa said, rolling her eyes.

“Hey! You are never too old for Disney movies” you laughed, hitting her shoulder.

“Just be careful ok?” She said giving you a serious look. You nodded and she picked up the remote pressing play once again.

                                              _____________

 You woke up to the sound of your phone ringing. Wondering who dare disturb you after staying up all night finishing season one of your new favorite show. About to turn the phone off, you found yourself sliding the answer button when you saw the word Ashton flash across your screen.

“Hello?” You said, voice quiet yet obviously laced with sleep as you turned to Lisa making sure she was still asleep.

“Are you still sleeping? You do realize it’s passed noon right? Even if it is Saturday” Ashton said sarcastically. You could nearly see his smirk you’d bet he had on right now.

“Shut up had a late night. What do you want?”

“You and Lisa party hard with them movies or what?” he chuckled. “Are you home? I forgot some of my brushes at your place and I need them.”

“And here I thought you missed my voice. Fine. I’m not home yet though give me a bit-“

“I have to drive over to your place anyway. I’ll pick you up. Give me like 10 minutes.”

“Well okay then…” you said to yourself as you stared at your now blank screen.

Sure enough ten minutes later you were climbing into the passenger seat of Ashton’s car.

“Good morning beautiful” Ashton teased.

“Shut up” You said, hoping your blush didn’t show just how affected you were by those words, even if he was obviously joking. I mean-your hair was a mess, clothes disheveled from sleeping in them and you barely had time to swish some mouth wash in your mouth to appear somewhat human.

Ashton simply chuckled instead of replying as he pulled the car into drive.

As you walked to your apartment you felt the familiar grasp of Ashton’s hand in your own. And when you reached your door, you couldn’t miss the small pout he had when you let go of his hand to search for your keys.

“I meant to take your brushes with me yesterday, even moved them over here…” You said, walking over to your shelf as Ashton locked your door. You crouched down, opening the bottom drawer searching for the bag you put his stuff in. “Ah! Found them!” You exclaimed as you quickly stood up, turning to show the prize in your hands.

However, you did not realize he was behind you, and just how close you turning around made you guys. Maybe it was the surprise of finding him right next to you. Maybe it was your sleep deprived state. Regardless you found yourself unable to move, breath escaping your lungs as you simply just stared up at him. His hazel eyes shining with the same question he had the last time. Your hand against his chest, his against your hip. You both slowly moving closer together, eyes moving from his deep gaze to his lips…

As quickly as it started, whatever trance you found yourself in abruptly ended with the sound of your phone ringing. You both jumped away from each other, surprise in both your expressions.

“I-um…should get that” You said, quickly grabbing your phone off the counter.

“Ya um, thanks for letting me get my things…I have this project...I’ll umm catch you later?” He said, running a hand through his hair and already walking towards the door.

“Sure” you said with a forced smile, answering the call of your best friend who no doubt was mad you left without telling her anything.

He gave you a small wave, closing the door behind him.

You released the breath you didn’t know you were holding as your friend screamed “where the fuck did you go?!”

[kqbluemoon-moved]

FIGHT OR FLIGHT !

SUMMARY :: In which things are going great until they aren’t. CHARACTERS :: Della Jang, Kang Yeosang, Jung Eunwoo, Lee Taeha WORDS :: 3.5K WARNINGS :: swearing, cheating, implied sexual content, fights ( if i missed anything let me know ! )

Della loved these late nights with Yeosang. It wasn’t much different from anything else she had done with her past partners, but for some reason late nights with Yeosang felt much, much better. 

Della nudged her head farther down into Yeosang’s chest, making sure to keep her eye on the show playing in front of them. It wasn’t anything particularly interesting, the two of them just decided to play it as background noise while the two of them fell asleep.

“Dells,” Yeosang’s voice cut through her sleep-clouded mind, instantly waking her up a bit.

“Hm?”

“I just wanted to know if you were still up,” Della smiled at Yeosang’s quiet little laugh that he let out, running one of his hands down her arm. She could practically hear the small smile in his voice as he stared up at the ceiling and it made her heart skip a beat, knowing he was so content laying around doing nothing with her of all people.

“I’m trying not to be,” she mumbled, burning her head in the boy’s chest, though she couldn’t help but smile.

The boy laughed quietly, careful to not wake up any of his bandmates sleeping just beyond his walls. “I’ll let you get some sleep then,” he whispered, placing a gentle kiss to Della’s head.

The two drifted into a comforting silence, the only sound and light in the room coming from Yeosang’s laptop. Della lived for these small little moments between the two of them. It had been so, so long that she had gotten to this part in a relationship with another person where they were comfortable sitting in silence, where she was comfortable sleeping in the same bed like this. 

It felt strange to Della that her and Yeosang had fallen into this strong relationship so quickly, that was normally something Della shot down from the start, but for some reason she wasn’t worried about her relationship with Yeosang. Maybe it was the fact that he understood her well, never pushing her to do things she wasn’t comfortable with, making sure she knew that he wanted to be with her. Della wasn’t sure, but she knew that she felt safe with Yeosang and that wasn’t something she had felt since her last serious relationship. 

They laid in silence for what felt like hours, and Della wasn’t even sure about how long it was, but she felt her eyes get heavy and her mind start to drift into sleep. She was close to drifting off to sleep when she felt Yeosang shift a bit, bring a hand up to run his fingers through her hair.

“Dells?” his voice cut through the silence, though it was much quieter than before, his voice laced with sleep, like he was seconds away from falling asleep. Della would have answered if she wasn’t so, so comfortable, just about to fall asleep.

“I love you,” his voice was soft, breath lightly brushing the hairs on the top of her head. Her heart dropped at the words, but she stayed still. She had to.

She mentally cursed the fact that those three little words had so much of an effect on her, the fact that those three words made her want to get up and run. Her heart rate picked up and she hoped that Yeosang couldn’t feel it pounding against her chest. She cursed the sheer irony of the conversation she had with Taeha just a few days ago. 

It was too early for love. It was too early for love. It was too early- 

The thought ran through her mind over and over, making her cheeks heat up and she could feel tears brimming in her closed eyes. Della stayed still, though, at least until Yeosang fell asleep. She couldn’t let him know the mental turmoil that was currently going on in her mind.

Della played with her fingers as she waited for Eunwoo to open her door. It had been days since her last encounter with Yeosang and she felt bad for constantly dodging the boy’s questions and pleas to hang out with him, but she couldn't do it. She wasn’t sure that if she stepped foot near Yeosang that she wouldn’t spill all of her insecurities, which she was sure would do nothing more than to scare the boy off.

So, she ran. She hated that she was far too good at that, but she couldn’t help the side of her that ran from anything and everything that gave her some sort of trouble. Some days she wondered if that was the only thing that she was good at.

Before she could go too deep into the thought, the door flung open, revealing a worried looking Eunwoo on the other side. She raised an eyebrow, moving to the side in an instant, not bothering to ask Della why she was there so late without so much as a warning.

Della wondered herself, why she pulled herself out of bed, slipping through the dorms without waking any of the other girls. It was late, she knew that at least. She racked her brain trying to remember the time on the clock beside her bed before she left the dorm. It was probably well after three in the morning and she really hoped that she didn’t wake Eunwoo up, though from the look of the girl, she could tell that her hopes would not be answered.

“What’s up?” 

Nothing much, just freaking out because my boyfriend said he loved me. She wished the words would come out of her mouth, though she couldn't bring herself to actually look at the older girl and tell her that, instead she settled for a small shrug. She knew that Eunwoo would listen to her, probably even offer her some good advice, but she didn’t want the possibility of seeing any pitying glances from the girl.

“Did you and Yeosang fight or something?” the older girl laughed out, running a hand through her long hair while she watched the younger closely, looking for any signs of what happened. Della hated that she could read her so well. “I mean, I’ve barely seen you since the two of you have started dating. Is the honeymoon period already over?”

“Maybe I just wanted to see you?” Della shrugged, kicking off her shoes and making her way further into the apartment that she knew so well.

She could practically feel the roll of Eunwoo’s eyes from her spot behind her as she followed the younger. “Yeah, sure,” Della let out a loud laugh, plopping onto the couch at the older’s sarcastic tone. “We’ll go with that one.”

The two sat together in the living room, laughing quietly in hopes to not wake up any of Eunwoo’s neighbors. Eunwoo has put on an episode of We Bear Bears, one of Della’s favorite shows, as soon as they sat down, not wasting any time to start with the usual routine they had whenever Della was sad about any of her past relationships. There were very few people that knew Della as well as Eunwoo knew Della and it made her feel a lot better to see the little things.

“Are you gonna tell me what’s wrong?” Eunwoo questioned after a while, leaning against her hand that was perched on the back of the couch. She stared right into Della’s eyes, even though the younger was doing everything in her power to keep her eyes pointed at the TV, suddenly finding one of the episodes that she had seen loads of times far too interesting.

Eunwoo waited a couple of seconds, watching the younger closely, before she let out a sigh, shifting in her seat. “It has to do with Yeosang right?” she started, and Della knew she could see the way that she was fidgeting with the pillow as she listened. “I mean you guys either fought or broke up and you should probably talk about-”

Della couldn’t stand the words anymore, her heart rate picking up at the mention of Yeosang’s name. She shook the thoughts out of her head, doing the only thing that she could think of to get Eunwoo to stop talking and to calm the racing thoughts in her head. She quickly leaned forward, placing both of her hands on Eunwoo’s cheeks, placing her lips on the other’s in a searing kiss.

Eunwoo pulled back quickly, pushing at Della’s shoulder to keep her from leaning back in. “What about Yeosang?” her eyes were wide with questions and it made Della’s heart break. The thoughts came back, making her overthink everything that she was doing.

“Can we not talk about Yeosang? Please?” her voice sounded pleading and desperate, it almost sounded pathetic to her own ears, but she didn’t have time to think about that over the sound of her racing heart and the thoughts running in her mind. “PLease, Eunwoo, help me forget him tonight, please?”

Eunwoo looked at her, her brows furrowed. “Della, we should talk about what happened, you can’t keep bottling-”

“Please, Eunwoo,” she pleaded, leaning back in, connecting their lips again, in hopes that the older girl would drop the topic. 

Eunwoo let out a sigh, thinking over Della’s words. “Fine,” she said after a moment. “But you need to talk about it tomorrow.”

Della nodded eagerly, connecting their lips together again, the kiss anything but slow and gentle. Della put everything she had into the kiss, shutting her mind off from the racing thoughts, even if it was just for a moment. The two fell together again, like they always have and always do.

The moment Della opened her eyes the next morning, she instantly wanted to take back everything that happened the night before. She mentally cursed herself as she pulled herself form Eunwoo’s bed, quickly throwing on her discarded clothes from the night before. 

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. How could she just throw away everything that her and Yeosang had because she was scared of three little words? They say ‘old habits die hard’ and Della wished she could go back in time, breaking her habit once and for all, finally letting herself be happy without worries of things going to shit after someone said ‘i love you’.

“You running out already?” the question shocked Della, pulling her out of her thoughts. She turned around looking over at Eunwoo, who was sitting on the side of her bed, pulling her shirt over her head. 

“I just need to get back to the dorms,” Della replied lamely, knowing that Eunwoo wouldn't believe her for a second, but she could only hope that she wouldn’t call her out on it.

Eunwoo just raised an eyebrow, nodding her head slightly, and Della almost let out a sigh of relief. “What was last night all about?” she spoke too soon.

“What are those nights always about?” Della replied quickly, though she could feel her heart race at just the thought of everything she fucked up last night. “Look, I really need to get back, can we talk about this later?”

“Dells, talk to me,” the older said, fixing her pointed glare on the younger. “I’ve known you long enough to know that last night was different than normal.”

Della looked away from Eunwoo, pulling her lips in between her teeth to try and keep her lips from trembling. The tears felt like they were going to fall, but they couldn’t, she wouldn’t let them.

“Look, if it was something with Yeosang, we can talk about it. You know that, right?” Eunwoo started after a long silence, her intentions good, but the mention of Yeosang’s name made her mind shut down even more. “I know your last serious relationship was-”

“I fucked up last night,” Della rushed out, hoping she could stop Eunwoo from saying the one name that would make her break completely. “Yeosang said he loved me and I freak out, like I always do. I avoided him for days and finally last night I snapped and I came over her to try and get it out of my mind, but it didn’t work and I just feel like shit now. Is that what you wanted me to say?”

She gave Eunwoo a pointed look, but didn’t wait for the older girl to process everything she said before she turned on her heel, and made her way out of the room. She walked out of the apartment without looking back, she couldn’t, if she did the tears would fall.

Della didn’t stop anywhere, she just rushed to the practice rooms, hoping her memory served her correctly. The hallway was void of anyone, though it was pretty early in the morning and most people were finally getting a good night’s sleep after practicing well into the evening the night before. All except for the one person she needed to see.

Music flowed through the small hallway, quiet but still present in with no other noise around. The sound was muffled by the sounds of the walls, but it was easy to pick out the practice room the music was coming from and Della just hoped that she was right about who was behind the door.

She pushed open the door gently, poking her head in to see her boyfriend dancing to some song that she had heard many times before, but couldn’t quite place in the moment. His movements were graceful and soft as he moved around the room, his focus deep, not even noticing Della from where she could see herself in the mirror.

Della wished they could stay like this forever, her watching Yeosang’s graceful movements, while the boy was completely in his element doing what he loved. It calmed her and for the first time in days Della’s mind was still, no thoughts coming through, her mind focused on the boy in front of her. The thoughts made her heart twinge, knowing they couldn’t stay like this forever, not after what Della did.

The music stopped and the only sound in the room came from Yeosang’s heavy breathing. Della clapped a few times, a smile on her face, but she knew it didn’t her eyes. The boy’s head whipped around at the sound, eyes lighting up when he noticed Della there, leaning against the wall as she watched him.

“Della!” his voice was shocked, though she could hear the excitement in it and it made her heart hurt. “What are you doing here?”

He jogged over to where Della was standing, pressing a quick kiss to her cheek, before shooting her a slightly concerned smile. Della knew she probably looked like shit, running on minimal hours of sleep, her hair and messed up from being at Eunwoo’s place last night. She probably should have stopped somewhere to make sure she didn’t have hickies littering her neck, that would just be the icing on top of the cake.

“I need to talk to you,” she started, unsure of what to tell him, but she knew she couldn’t keep in from him.

Yeosang nodded, though she noticed the light leave his eyes with her comment and she just hoped that he wouldn't completely break once she told him. She knew she couldn't handle that without breaking down herself, even if it made her sound selfish.

They stayed where they were, close to the door and Della almost felt safer for it, like she had some sort of escape in a way. She took a deep breath, steading her thoughts before she looked back up at Yeosang, confusion evident on her face.

“I fucked up last night,” she started and seeing Yeosang’s confusion only grow she rushed to continue. “And I completely understand if you hate me, because you have every right to, but I, um, I slept with Eunwoo last night.”

Della watched as Yeosang processed her words, the hurt coming onto his face in waves and Della wished she could do something to make it stop, to make it better, but she couldn’t. She became the one thing she never wanted to be.

“Why?” the word came out small after a long, long pause. It was so quiet Della was almost sure that she was hearing things. Just from one look at his face she could tell that he was trying to hold back tears, which hurt even worse than the hurt in his voice.

“I don’t know,” Della shook her head. She had no explanation that could make it better. “I just go scared because I heard you say that you loved me and I started over thinking things and I just wanted to stop thinking.”

The explanation only seemed to make things worse. “You can’t just do that, Della,” he replied finally, his voice sounding exasperated. “If you were worried about things you could have just come to me, I would have tried to make sense of it.”

Della nodded, staying quiet, there was nothing she could say that would make anything of what she did better, She deserved Yeosang to be mad at her, for him to be frustrated with everything that was happening.

“I know you’ve had some shit relationships, and I’ve been trying to help you work through them, but it’s been like a shot in the dark because you don’t tell me what’s going on,” he continued. “I mean, I knew something was up when you’ve been avoiding me, but I didn’t think it would be this and I just- I don’t know if I can be with someone that’s keeping things from me.”

Della waited a moment, making sure Yeosang was done. She refused to look him in the eye, too worried to see tears streaming down his face. He was calm, but he sounded close to tears, which made Della’s heart break.

“I take it we’re done,” she said quietly, meeting his eyes quickly before looking away. She could see the hurt running through them from the second she looked at him.

“Yeah,” he replied, his voice quiet and almost broken. “I guess we are.”

Yeosang moved quickly, grabbing his bag from the other side of the room and rushing out, barely able to look back at Della. She finally lifted her head after a moment, looking around the practice room with teary eyes. It only seemed fitting that they were in the same practice room they had their first date. Della let out a sad chuckle, sliding down the wall, putting head in her hands, trying her best to rub at the tears that had yet to fall.

After what felt like hours, Della finally peeled herself away from the wall and made her way back to her dorm. It was quiet when she opened the door and Della assumed that Jangmi and Jinri were already in the studio for the day, or they never even came back last night. Najoo was probably locked in her own room, though that wasn’t surprising considering she barely talked to the rest of the girls anymore. She rolled her eyes just thinking about it. Taeha was probably in their room and Della just hoped that she wasn’t sleeping, though from the time she’s roomed with the younger, she knew that she barely slept past 7:30 on a good day. 

She stood dumbly in the center of the room for far too long, trying to decide if she truly wanted to go into her room. She loved the younger, but Della knew that Taeha would try to pry her emotions out of her and Della wasn’t sure if Taeha was fully ready for all of the emotions running through Della’s head right now.

After about another minute of Della standing in the living room, staring straight at the door to her room, the door opened, Taeha’s head popping out.

“You’re back!” she said cheerfully, her smile completely reaching her eyes. The younger girl had been a bit needy since her and Soobin broke up, not that Della really minded, though sometimes it was a bit exhausting. “I heard the door and I thought it was you, but then you didn’t come in so I was confused.”

Della smiled at the younger. “I’ll be there in a little bit, I’m just gonna go to the bathroom first.”

The younger nodded, poking her head back inside the room leaving Della alone again. There was no way she could go in there and hang out with Taeha with the way her mind was wandering right now. She made her way to the bathroom that all the girls shared, locking the door behind her as she pulled out her phone, dialing the number she knew by heart.

She sat herself down on the toilet, tapping her foot, listening to the long, long rings as she waited for the only person she knew to talk at this point. 

“Dells?” the voice cut through her clouding thoughts, instantly clearing them. All it took was one word to get the tears she had been holding in to start falling.

“Siesie, I fucked up.”