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captainkippen · 5 years ago

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I don't know where I'm going with this, it's just a piece of free writing because I felt inspired. Might keep going and turn it into a short story or something.

TW: Implied abuse.

1994.

The door clatters open like a twister is blowing through and I jerk up with such violence I almost slide right off my seat. There are a few bleary-eyed moments of confusion as my heart calms down before a takeaway cup of coffee is thrust under my nose and I'm forced to take it before it ends up decorating my shirt.

"Rise and shine, loser. You fall asleep at your desk again? You know you're gonna have permanent keyboard marks on your face if you keep doing that."

I bat Jay's hands away from my neck, saving myself from one of his terrible massages. He keeps telling me he has magic hands, but I'm pretty sure the crick in my neck only sticks more stubbornly when he tries to get rid of it. I give my shoulders a roll, sighing into the satisfaction of feeling my joints click, and swivel around to face him.

He's dressed in the same clothes he wore to mall yesterday and the heavy stench of too many cigarettes clings to him which means he probably spent the night at Ricky's - our local 24 hour diner - periodically ducking into the alley to burn through a new pack of Marlboroughs. A fresh smudge of dark purples and blues stains the skin around his eye. I hope he at least gave his brother a bruise back to match.

"What time is it?" I punctuate my question with a yawn just to make a point, but he just grins and holds up his watch.

7:15AM. Wonderful. At least he waited until he used the front door for once. My parents fret about him breaking his neck every time he leaves scuff marks on the window ledge to avoid waking them up.

"Did you actually get any sleep last night?"

"Did you?" He fires back with a raised eyebrow, shrugging off his jacket and flopping onto my bed to grab the latest issue of Rolling Stone from where he left it strewn across one of the pillows last time he crashed here. Comfortable silence falls as I admire the way his fingers bend the magazine back. There's this little crease that forms between his brows whenever he's concentrating, physical evidence of him trying to force his brain to focus on one thing at a time and not the myriad of random thoughts bouncing in there at any given time. I hide my smile in my coffee - he knows I'm not really annoyed, but I refuse to give up the illusion. It's a ageing routine, but one I never get bored of.

I count the minutes until the silence breaks. One. Two. Thr-

"So I was thinking," he says, the sighs like he's exasperated at his own inability to keep words in. It's one of the many things I like about Jay - he always speaks his mind. It makes it easier to understand him.

"Dangerous task for you."

An unimpressed middle finger greets my words before they're completely out. I hold back a snort.

"Sorry. Go on?"

We've known each other since we were seven. Across the street neighbours. He was the first person I met when I moved in with my foster parents. In a street full of unfamiliar tree and looming white houses he sat there on the curb pretending to fish with a stick and a piece of string. He'd called over as I got out of the car, asked if I liked trout. I didn't even know what trout was. That was okay. It was gross anyway, apparently.

I don't remember ever making friends so easily, like we just fell together and that was it. No fuss. Ten years on and the surprise hasn't waned.

"You guys want breakfast?" My mom pokes her head around the door with a tired smile, interrupting whatever train of thought Jay was hopping on.

I shake my head and lift my coffee, ignoring the disapproving look she gives me. Coffee is not food nor is it particularly good for you, but it's also not worth a battle over nutrition before eight o'clock.

"All good here, Mrs H." Jay smiles, all teeth and charm and twinkling eyes, then pats his stomach as if to confirm it. It's a smile that's impossible to disagree with when it's directed right at you.

"You sure? Alrighty then," Mom says, doubt creeping into her tone despite her fond look. She was forever trying to feed Jay, convinced he was too skinny. Worried he wasn't getting enough to eat. I can't say I blame her - some days Jay looks like he's auditioning to play Mike Teevee right after he got put through Willy Wonka's stretching machine, but it's all an illusion. I've watched him consume an entire box of donuts in one sitting more than once. His stomach might as well be a trash compactor for all the junk he eats. Plus he always has snacks tucked into the glove compartment of his car in case of emergencies, right alongside a sock full of laundromat destined quarters, a spare toothbrush and his shaving kit.

"Sawyer, honey, can you please clean up a bit in here? It looks like a bomb hit it. Guests don't want to sit in this."

"Half of this is his mess!" I splutter as my mom smiles and disappears back down the hall. "He's not even a real guest!"

Jay only laughs and ducks out of the way when I throw a balled up sock at his head. Asshole.

"So as I was saying..."

"As you were saying," I roll my eyes, gesturing for him to continue.

"I think we should do something."

"What, like go to the movies?" There's nothing good out at the moment, I'm pretty sure. We spent all last weekend debating whether or not to go see the latest Keanu Reeves movie only to spend all our cash on popcorn and get kicked out halfway through because Jay's running commentary made me laugh so hard I choked.

"No man, like... something interesting."

"...bowling?"

He shoots me an unimpressed look and I raise my hands in surrender. What else could he possibly have in mind? Our town only has three things to do; movies, bowling or the mall. We've been cycling through each option all summer. It's the same thing every year and it does get old after a while, but it beats sweating to death outside and spending all day playing video games sets my dad off on the perils of computer addiction. If I ever have to hear another lecture about technology rotting my brain it'll be too soon.

"For a writer you sure are lacking imagination."

"Well what do you suggest, then?" I huff.

There's a gleam in his eye and the warning lights start flashing in my brain just a beat too late. I know that look, it's the kind that got me put in detention three weeks in a row last semester for filling Roy Jackson's football helmet with food dye after he called spread a false rumour that Mary Harring blew him in his backseat. In my defence, it was all Jay. In his defence, I didn't stop him. Principle Ikener's never looked so disappointed. Roy Jackson's face was pink for a week. Scraping gum off the bleachers has never been so satisfying.

"Okay, hear me out first, alright," he says as I groan. We both know I'm already doomed to agree, but we play the part like he has to convince me anyway. Like I said, an ageing routine.

There's a pause in which I repress a sigh and let him dramatically drum roll his fists through the air and then he says, "Europe."

The word is emphasised with jazz hands and I can only stare at him for a moment, my brain trying to compute it. Did I mishear? Did he get part way through a sentence then forget the rest? He stares at me expectantly and it's all I can do to repeat the word slowly after him. His resulting nod is reminiscent of my aunt's excitable golden retriever.

"What about Europe...?"

"We should go."

"What?"

"To Europe," he insists. "We should go."

"You want us to go to Europe."

He looks at me like I'm being deliberately stupid. "That's what I said."

"But... why?"

Summers at home are dull. Three long months of sweltering heat and so many snow cones we make ourselves sick, and weeks on end of trying to think of new things to do, but it has never been so bad that we've resorted to leaving the country before. I'm confused.

"You're always talking about how much you want to travel! And we've got time. two and a half months before school. Think about it, we could be spending that time on the beaches in Spain, or looking at fancy architecture in Italy! I can drag you 'round some museums, you can force me on a tour of places famous English writers lived and we can get sick of each other in style."

Morning light spills through the window and highlights the dustmotes in the air. The bruises on his face seem darker with his face haloed in gold. I get another whiff of cigarettes and realise the smell is staler than usual.

"I don't know," I say. "My parents-"

I get a set of pursed lips in response. His expression is strained.

"Your dad is always saying we should broaden our horizons. He'll be thrilled. Besides, think of all the cute European girls we'll meet."

"How would we even afford it?"

It's a deflection. For a pair of teenage boys, we're both pretty good with money. Weekend jobs at Blockbuster and Baskin Robbins. I still have money saved from my Bar Mitvah, mostly because I've never really wanted anything enough to really splash out. My clunky computer works just fine and I'm content with books and notepads. Jay saves like his life depends on it, and maybe it does. Money for gas and food for the infinite hours spent avoiding his own home. Money for college. Money for escaping.

He stares me down.

One, two, three days since he left the Rolling Stone on my pillow only to pick it back up this morning. I'd noted his lengthy absence yesterday, but I'd just assumed he'd gone fishing. I should have known something was off.

"Please?" There's a desperate edge to his tone that rugs at my heartstrings and it's all I can do not to demand he tell me why he's suddenly so keen on visiting Europe when he's never expressed any such desire before. Instead I just sigh.

"Okay, but you get to convince my mom."

#my writing #tw implied abuse

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thegeneralsnotebook · 5 years ago

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March Feature: History of Colours Part 2 -- White

Welcome back to Part 2 of this series investigating the histories of the six main colours of the MLPCCG, from their inception and original development in Premier, all of the way forward to the present day. This month’s topic is White, a colour that seems to be in something of a rough spot right now. It’s gone quite a long while since it last had a great Mane to its name, too. The last person to enjoy major success with it was Bugle at the 2018 Continentals, with a rather unorthodox list the likes of which probably won’t be seen again. We’ll get to that. By the way, it also bears to mention that as with the last article, I owe Bugle a depth of gratitude for walking me through the early stages of the game and pointing out the notable decks that were before my time.

Going in, I was expecting a story broadly similar to Yellow, as I knew the colour had been great once upon a time in the past, then faded somewhat, and hasn’t really surfaced again yet (outside of that one exception mentioned above). It turned out though, that I was wrong. It turned out that White had never totally yielded the stage, though it did quite generously yield the spotlight. There was something going on with White in nearly every set, though it was almost never the main colour in the decks that used it, and a fair amount of the time it was doing somewhat questionable things for its decks. Things that generally involved either scoring infinite points, or pairing up with an old Friend in Purple to play many Events over and over again. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Suffice it to say for now that White is a colour with a lot of notoriety built up over the years, even if it’s lacked success as a primary colour. To see that, we’ll first have to step back, to a time when Rarity was indeed Truly Outrageous.

I mean, to put any other card up there would be pretty disingenuous

The Most Aptly Named Card in History

We already covered RTO just a little bit in last month’s article, during the discussion of the Yellow/White deck Ballroom Blitz. There, she was serving in the traditional role of a card capable of scoring lots of points very quickly, and thus capable of sealing games about as quickly as she could be played. And while RTO did end up seeing a lot of play in this mode, her first claim to fame actually did something a little different. Sure, the equally aptly named Taxes still let RTO do her thing of scoring points quickly, but it wasn’t going fast. It was an early form of tempo, stacking movement and play penalties on a Problem until it was virtually impossible for the opponent to confront it, and then sealing the game with RTO after the fact. It was quite the thing in the Premier era, but died out in Canterlot Nights as the meta sped up substantially.

Bugle had mentioned to me that a version of Taxes with 13 URs was floating out there somewhere, which is a pretty impressive number when you’ve only got one set to draw from. Alas, though in searching Reddit I managed to find solid evidence that it was probably out there somewhere, the list itself eluded me. I was, however, able to find a delightfully unexpected little piece of history. The Taxes list linked above actually came from none other than Grand Pause, and it was his first deck submission on the subreddit. Even a bright diamond starts from a humble beginning.

And oh, speaking of diamonds, that brings us to the third major moment for RTO in the early era of competitive play. That being Diamonds In The Sky, a deck that holds a special place in my heart as the winner of the first competitive tournament that I ever entered (not played by me, of course). Similarly to Ballroom above, the plan was simple: move fast, strike hard, and score lots of points. In this case, Blue was a perfect match for White due to its unparalleled AT efficiency, and it could get rolling real fast off the start of the game. As today, back then it was also an excellent anti-Troublemaker colour, with good options like Fears Must Be Faced for getting back the tempo against a control-oriented opponent. Being well-rounded while also being very fast and slightly more consistent than Ballroom Blitz cemented this deck’s status for a long time, at least until the meta slowed down somewhat. That was about when things started getting weird.

Oh, wait! Before we leave this era behind there is something else that bears mention. And I doubt that Bugle would let me hear the end of it if I forgot. Tiny inclusion though it may be, White played a pretty important part in good ol’ One Pace, as the provider of that primordial combo’s source of points. (No surprises there. This theme is one that will repeat a fair amount in later eras.)

Yeah, RTO gets two pictures! Listen, things were a little strange about here, okay?

A Very Messy Time

As we transition into the later era of Premier Block, things get somewhat confused with respect to what White was up to. From a macro perspective, sure, we all know where this story goes. DJ and Maud end up on top, waging an endless war while everyone else could only lurk in their shadows. Yes, we’re not going to see another White Mane in this history for a long time. But that doesn’t mean that the colour was done for good. It still saw play, albeit for mostly just the one reason.

The slate of decks from this era is about as varied as they come. Most notable of them all I think would be Cosmic Bowling, the first deck to abuse the Pinny Lane/Dr. Hooves combo for massive bursts of AT generation. The game plan was pretty simple, as with the ability to suddenly generate large amounts of AT, the deck could rapidly and unexpectedly confront Problems, raking in the first-confront bonuses and sometimes dropping RTOs for even more. The deck could generate lots of Power thanks to Action Shot and Savoir Faire, plus had the usual AT-savings from Cloudchaser, point-scoring cards in White, and a nice new Mane in DJ to make everything that much more consistent. This wasn’t the deck that got Pinny banned, but it absolutely was the first step down that road.

Of less significant notoriety we had a couple of decks that I hadn’t even heard of until Bugle brought them to my attention. Maud Games was a deck with brief notability, coming and going in the early phase of RR as things were slowing down and the meta was largely grappling with One Pace. It used White (who’d guess?) for the points from RTO and for some of its still good control tools like Stand Still! Likewise, from a much later point in this era, Outrageous Theft got more mileage out of RTO by copying her with Queen Chrysalis, Identity Theft, and thus allowed itself to do even more of the normal White things.

See, what did I say? Things were weird. The colour was used quite extensively, but you see the same three or four cards popping up pretty much everywhere. The only places where the other White cards saw play was, well…

I told you that things were going to get weird

Let’s Just Get This Out Of The Way

Of all the archetypes, the one where White has seen the most consistent usage basically since the start of the game has been combo. There were a few reasons for this, but largely over history it’s been due to the fact that White was the colour for scoring points in weird ways. Historically, whether it was Fashion Week, or RTO, or as we travel into modern times, even Mistmane, White was the go-to colour for decks that wanted to score their points in unconventional ways. And again, as above, White was usually not the primary colour in any of these decks. Usually, it was just the win condition. But well, the win condition is a pretty important part so I can hardly get away without mentioning it. Thus, in this section, I’m going to be lumping the combos together, and boy there were a lot of them.

I already mentioned One Pace up above, but here we find its later evolution, One Shot, which at least was nice enough to include a little more White, even if it was still just performing the role of a win con. I would heartily recommend the linked article for reading, though, as it is one of the more complex combos out there.

And they keep on coming! One of, if not the most infamous combo deck ever was of course Dragon Express, and in the pattern established herein, there wasn’t a whole lot of White, but Breezy Rarity was the reason that the deck was able to win games.

Adding on to the tradition of fiendishly complicated combos, from the time of Absolute Discord there was Screw Shot, which… honestly I’m not even going to get into that one. I’m linking to the primers on these for a reason, here. Suffice it to say that once again White is here purely to score some points, though admittedly here there are at least multiple winning cycles through a White endpoint.

And no, we’re not stopping there! I’m going to get through all of the silly combos in this section, even though the next one on the list, Pie-Eating Contest, actually breaks the above pattern by not using White just to score points. For once, it’s a crucial part of the combo, abusing Teamwork Trenderhoof as part of a loop to destroy everything on the opponent’s side of the board in a single faceoff. Before the flips, even.

Finally, to bring the train home, let’s wrap it up with 104.3 FM, The Cheese, fittingly ending off this section by combining some of White’s point-scoring with some of White’s playing fast-and-loose with the rules. This one took advantage of UR Trenderhoof and Uniqueness to repeatedly play cards from the discard pile, though a later rules change invalidated the concept.

Whew, that was a lot of nonsense. Yet you know what I find to be the craziest thing? We’re more than 1700 words in and I still haven’t mentioned Eff Stop yet.

No history of White could possibly be complete without this guy

The Shutter-Click Heard ‘Round The World

Now, Eff Stop had been doing his thing pretty much since the start of the game. He is, after all, a Premier card. Through most of the early sets, he was a reasonably well-recognized tool, but enjoyed nowhere near the success of the other ones mentioned above. Yet, as time went on, the card infamous for “always getting better with every new set” kept getting better. The story of Eff Stop’s journey to getting banned starts in Absolute Discord, with another little piece of history. A Control Deck With Bad Draws was the first claim to fame for a now well-known tinkerer with the Seattle group named Skitter. This was the first notable deck that did the things Eff Stop would later be most famous for: enabling control decks to replay their important Events again, and again, and again. A later deck named Stopping Corn from around the same era did something largely similar, getting its namesake from replaying Popping Corn every turn to devastating effect.

By the time of the modern era, Eff Stop had settled down into what by now is by far his most recognizable role: partnering up with Gyro to deliver unmatched efficiency for control decks that could now minimize the deck space allotted to Events, while still getting maximum value out of them. Especially once Photo Finish showed up in High Magic, Purple/White control decks were everywhere, and the standard toolbox formulation showed up again and again. I’m going to select one representative example in the form of Cruel Mistress, a toolbox of 27 distinct cards that got particular value from wiping the opponent’s board with the combo of Spoiled Rich and Cruel Taskmistress.

But we shouldn’t forget that Eff Stop wasn’t just doing the usual toolbox thing around now. He was also playing what was admittedly a tangential role in another infamous deck: Tantabuse, where he and Interdimensional Portal served as a measure of backup when the usual tool of Minuette wasn’t available.

Finally, no discussion of Eff Stop and toolboxes could be complete without Vinyl’s Bag of Tricks, what many may consider the ultimate incarnation of the concept. With 11 distinct Events spread out over only 16 card slots, this deck captured the versatility of being able to answer almost anything the opponent could do, with the inevitability of being able to provide that same answer every turn for the rest of the game. After Bugle’s success with this deck, it was no surprise that Eff Stop ultimately got banned, bringing the era of toolbox control to an end with it.

Notably, this era wasn’t one of total control darkness. A consistent bright spot for aggro in the colour was of course the Octavia Mane from EO. Even though she hasn’t yet quite cracked the big time, there was and indeed continues to be experimentation with her. And, before Bluna fell in with the Pink crowd and Hot Wings became the only deck for miles around, she was often paired up with White, and did reasonably well too. Here’s a list that T8’d at 2016 BABSCon, something of a comforting refresher of the glory days of RTO that got this article started.

White’s still playing second fiddle, but it’s a pretty darn good orchestra

A Modern Era Just As Messy

The modern era, which I take to start at the introduction of the Core format, has been in all its complexity a continuation on the various themes that held sway over the course of this colour’s existence. Even without Eff Stop, Photo Finish still saw play as a backstop of control, especially as the new Chaos variant rose to prominence. In more recent times, naturally Mistmane has been added in as well. New potent tools like Bodyguard gave it a new lease on life heading into SB, though once again not taking too much of the spotlight for itself. And there were even new combos, of a sort, if you think of banking up AT until Mistmane wins the game on her own to be much of a combo. Still, it was potent for a time.

Indeed, White has spent nearly all of its history playing the secondary role, when it even got that. As Bugle pointed out to me, only 2 White Manes have ever made T16 at NA Continentals. Once for Octavia, and once for the deck that will be ending off the article this time. Because while the colour has so generously yielded the spotlight in almost of all of the lists above, there is one glaring exception of such unparalleled primacy that it simply must stand on its own. Naturally, I’m referring to Meanie Belle’s Big Sister, the 2018 NA Continental Champion.

Perhaps most fittingly for a colour that expressed itself in the past by providing useful tools to other colours, this deck is nothing but tools. It’s all useful Events, Troublemakers and Resources, put together to facilitate something that Rarity and her colour had been seemingly unable to do over the whole course of the meta’s history: hog the spotlight. While it was a bright flash, Friends Forever came next, Yellow sprang back to prominence (as we covered in January), and Meadowbrook served as the ultimate answer to this smorgasboard of Resources.

Conclusion

That was a wild ride of an article. I can safely say that before I started out on this I had no idea of the breadth of different archetypes and eras that I was going to be covering as I went through the history on this one. Indeed, even though White took a long time to find itself a starring role, it was a force behind many of the major movements in the game’s history. From the combo decks that each had their moment in the Sun, to the dynasty of control that held sway in the early pre-modern era, White was always there, always helping. It’s got a little something for everyone.

Part 1 of A History of Colour covered Yellow. Next up will be Purple.

#mlpccg #history

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njawaidofficial · 7 years ago

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Elisabeth Moss on 'Handmaid's Tale's' Real-World Parallels and How She Became an Accidental Activist (Cover Story)

http://styleveryday.com/2017/07/19/elisabeth-moss-on-handmaids-tales-real-world-parallels-and-how-she-became-an-accidental-activist-cover-story/

Elisabeth Moss on 'Handmaid's Tale's' Real-World Parallels and How She Became an Accidental Activist (Cover Story)

With her Hulu breakout scoring 13 Emmy noms, including best actress, television’s reigning (and surprisingly foul-mouthed) star opens up about Season 2 and her political awakening: “I’m a staunch believer in women’s rights. I don’t really give a s— about anybody who isn’t.”

The morning of July 13 started like any other, with Elisabeth Moss trying to eke out a little more time in bed. She is not, by all accounts, an early riser, and this sticky Thursday was no different, save for the locale, South Florida, where she was enjoying a rare few days off.

Then came the midday text from her publicist: a GIF of Chicago Cubs first baseman Anthony Rizzo, shirtless and clapping. “I knew it was good news,” says Moss, a fourth-generation Cubs fan, “because a shirtless Anthony Rizzo is always good news.”

And it was: The Handmaid’s Tale had just scooped up 13 Emmy nominations, including a best actress nom for Moss, the dystopian drama’s producer and star. In short order, she began scrolling through the 49 congratulatory texts that had already come in. Before long, there would be a lengthy email chain among the actors and a back and forth with showrunner Bruce Miller as well. By 3 p.m., Moss was still working her way through the deluge.

This isn’t new territory for the 34-year-old actress, whose pileup of critical hits — The West Wing, Mad Men, Top of the Lake and now The Handmaid’s Tale — has led to her media moniker: the “Queen of Peak TV.” She earned six nominations for what was once her career-defining role as copywriter turned feminist heroine Peggy Olson on AMC’s long-running Mad Men and a seventh for her star turn as a cop in Jane Campion’s 2013 Sundance Channel miniseries Top of the Lake. But for reasons that still confound a large contingent of TV critics, Moss has never won an Emmy. “It’s lucky number eight,” she teases, turning more serious as she continues: “But if you’ve been nominated seven times and lost seven times, you learn to be pretty excited about being nominated. You feel this sense of, ‘Well, at least I seem to be doing well consistently.’ “

What makes this round of recognition different is not simply that her odds of taking home a statuette are greater than they’ve ever been but also that the universally lauded Hulu series has redefined Moss’ career — as an actress, a producer and, at first reluctantly, an activist for women’s rights. “What I’ve learned is, now is not really a time to stand in the middle,” she says. “You’ve got to pick a side.”

Jumping so quickly into another series was not initially part of Moss’ plan. She liked the idea of dabbling in the film world, throwing herself into a string of indies within days of Mad Men wrapping, and then a second installment of Top of the Lake, which she was busy filming when her reps sent her a copy of Miller’s Handmaid’s pilot. His take on Margaret Atwood’s seminal novel — first published in 1985 and now back on the best-seller list — centers on Offred, the titular Handmaid, whose world has been overtaken by a theocratic regime under which all fertile women are stripped of their rights and forced into sexual slavery. Despite her initial hesitation, Moss, who goes by Lizzie, recognized that the opportunity was one she couldn’t pass up. Her one stipulation: She insisted on being an active producer as well.

The demand didn’t faze Miller and executive producer Warren Littlefield, who both chuckle at the mere suggestion that Moss’ could be a vanity title, as is often the case when TV stars transition to producing. “At the beginning, I’d send Lizzie five different films, and I’d say, ‘This one is just about color palette; this one there’s a tone.’ And she’s in Australia starring in Top of the Lake, and a few days later, I’d get these detailed analyses: ‘I completely see this, and I love this, and what about this woman as a production designer?’ ” recalls Littlefield. “I said to her, ‘Do you sleep at all?’ She said, ‘Well, I had a weekend here.’ ‘Yeah,’ I said, ‘but you could go to the gym, maybe out to dinner — I’ve been on location before. I also eat.’ She was quiet, and even though it was over the phone, I could feel her smiling, and she said, ‘This is really important to me.’ “

Some 300 emails and nearly as many conference calls followed before the trio first met face-to-face on the Toronto set in the summer of 2016. In that time, Moss also had weighed in on directors — recommending Reed Morano, with whom she’d worked on the 2015 film Meadowland, to helm the first three episodes — as well as on casting, marketing and even wardrobe. At one point, she had costume designer Ane Crabtree send her swatches of the handmaids’ robes so that she could chime in on the autumn-red hue. “I may have taken it just a little bit too far,” she laughs. (Her self-deprecating charm notwithstanding, it’s clear Moss has the instincts and the eye of a producer, which she is bringing to bear on a slew of other projects. More on that later.)

What no one involved in The Handmaid’s Tale could have predicted while filming last fall was just how relevant the drama would become in Trump’s America. Launched three months into his presidency, the series hinges on plot points — right down to the all-female street protests — that mirror the real-world news cycle with unsettling frequency. The handmaids’ robes and bonnets have become the de facto uniform for women’s rights activists, and references to the Hulu drama seem to be fueling the feminist movement. “This show has prompted important conversations about women’s rights and autonomy,” Hillary Clinton told a crowd gathered at Planned Parenthood’s centennial celebration in May, referencing a particularly poignant scene in which one character says, ��We didn’t look up from our phones until it was too late.”

Along the way, the series has put Hulu on the creative map in the same way Mad Men once did AMC, and Moss, whose unflinching performance has lapped up praise as “chilling” and “brilliant,” was catapulted into the unexpected role of spokesperson — with which she’s only now getting comfortable. “I guess I just didn’t know anyone gave a shit about what I had to say,” she says with the kind of wide smile you rarely see from her onscreen.

•••

Over a late lunch at a cafe on Manhattan’s Upper West Side, where Moss shares an apartment with her two cats, Lucy and Ethel, I wonder aloud how she handles the exceedingly dark world of Handmaid’s, rife with rape and physical abuse.

Moving a bed of lettuce leaves around her plate, she recalls how famously blunt French film star Isabelle Huppert responded (during a roundtable discussion for THR) to a question about whether rape scenes in particular can be more challenging to shake. “She was like, ‘Noooo.’ Like, ‘It’s my job, and I go and do my work and I go home.’ I was literally like, ‘Praise Jesus, she is my fuckin’ hero,’ ” says Moss, whose propensity for profanity can be jarring at times. “Some of the other actresses [at the table, including Natalie Portman and Amy Adams] probably wanted to answer like that, but sometimes you feel like you shouldn’t because you should take things seriously. But I just love that she is so fuckin’ French that she just was like, ‘Noooo,’ and that’s more of the camp that I subscribe to.”

It’s an approach to acting that Morano, 40, finds herself marveling at each time the pair is together on set. “Lizzie has this uncanny ability to transport herself, and it happens very quickly,” she says. “We’d be joking around, making fun of someone on the crew, and then two seconds later I’d have a camera on her and she’d be crying in a scene.”

Moss has felt comfortable pingponging between real life and make-believe, however grim it may be, for as long as she can remember. “Acting has always just been play for me,” she says, harkening back to her debut as Sandra Bullock’s 6-year-old daughter in a 1990 Jackie Collins miniseries. “All I remember is doing the scene where I find [Bullock’s] body in the pool,” she says. By 10, Moss was being snatched from her family in the Harvey Keitel movie Imaginary Crimes; parts in other disturbing flicks, including Girl, Interrupted, starring a young Angelina Jolie, followed. “So yeah,” she says, “I’ve never really done the lighter stuff, even as a fuckin’ kid.”

Initially, all of it was just a sideshow to her first love, ballet, which Moss studied at the School of American Ballet in New York and with Suzanne Farrell at the Kennedy Center in D.C. But having picked up some early lessons in discipline and hardship, she hung up her pointe shoes at 15 and by 17 found herself back in her native L.A., auditioning for a role on The West Wing before a fast-talking man who seemed particularly at ease with the material. “Later I found out that that was Aaron Sorkin,” she says of the series’ famed creator, adding in her own defense, “I didn’t know who the fuck anyone was.” Moss was cast as Zoey Bartlet, the president’s daughter, and over seven seasons on The West Wing earned a formative education in the power of good writing.

Upon its wrap, Moss jumped immediately to Mad Men as then-awkward secretary Peggy Olson. It wasn’t the simplest decision. Back then, AMC was known for airing crusty old movies, and her agents, since replaced, were trying to sell her on a forgettable indie casting at the same time. But Moss, who was struck by both the world and the script of Matthew Weiner’s series, was insistent: “I just kept saying, ‘Do not let Mad Men go.’ ” Over seven seasons, the drama about 1960s ad men (and women) helped usher in the golden age of television, with Moss’ character ascending the corporate ladder to become something of a feminist icon. The status still tickles her, she admits, as she searches her phone for her favorite Peggy memes. She finds one in which the Mad Men character, with shades on and a cigarette dangling from her lips, shares the screen with a bonneted Offred. “I fuckin’ love this,” she says with a giant smile.

The Mad Men cast became a de facto family for Moss, who’d been home-schooled during her early teen years by her mother, a harmonica player, and father, a music manager. Most of her 20s were spent on that downtown L.A. set; and given her dedication to ensuring everyone there was having a good time, often by way of competitive parlor games that Moss frequently would win, her fellow castmembers anointed her president of base camp. “I was like, ‘I’ll pay for the flowers,’ and they were like, ‘Done! You’re elected,’ ” she jokes. Her co-star Jon Hamm, base camp’s self-appointed sergeant-at-arms, recalls Moss being critical to the cast’s morale. “For a girl who has made her bones being a very heavy and very capable dramatic actress,” he says, “she has a wicked sense of humor, and she gives as good as she gets.”

During that time, Moss married — then quickly divorced — Saturday Night Live alum Fred Armisen. The tabloids attributed the relationship’s demise to Moss’ devotion to Scientology, a theory later dispelled by Armisen when he told Howard Stern that he was a “terrible husband” and then, on Marc Maron’s podcast, admitted that he struggled with “cheating and infidelity.” At one point, Moss chimed in, too, telling the New York Post, “The greatest impersonation [Armisen] does is that of a normal person.” While she learned quickly that “if you don’t want people talking about stuff, don’t talk about it yourself,” she can acknowledge it was a good line, adding with a chuckle: “I was holding on to that one for a while.”

Though the Armisen mentions figure less prominently in her recent round of press coverage, no profile of Moss is complete without reference to Scientology, which she was reportedly born into via her parents. New York magazine once called her affiliation with the church “the strange, odd fact of her biography, the thing that does not belong in her regular-chick story,” and sites like Jezebel have argued that it’s relevant that “the star of The Handmaid’s Tale belongs to a secretive, allegedly oppressive religion.” Moss has come to expect the line of questioning, even if she consistently declines to respond. “It doesn’t surprise me [that it’s always mentioned] because I think if there was anything unusual, it would be there [in a piece about me],” she says with a shrug. “So when it was my marriage and I was going through that, it was that. If something else happened to me, it would be that. And I [understand the interest], I’m happy to read about the thing that I don’t know anything about, too.”

She tucks her shoulder-length blond hair behind her ears, and continues, now with that smile reemerging: “There’s just not a lot else to explore here. I mean, my cat has asthma. It’s something that we’re dealing with: medicine twice a day and she gets a little inhaler. You want to talk about that?”

•••

You don’t need to spend much time with Moss to see that she still has reservations about her own soaring profile and the attention that comes with it.

She talks about stars as though she isn’t one and describes her life, though it includes such things as stylists on her payroll, as devoid of any glamour. One of the last times she can remember going out at night, she says, was Nov. 8, and that was only because she expected the first female president to be elected that evening. (See sidebar on page 64.) Any free time she does have these days is spent in front of the TV (Veep and This Is Us are current staples) or out to eat with her mom, Linda, who lives a couple of blocks away, and her small circle of friends, all of whom she has known for more than a decade and many of whom she has worked with at some point during her career.

“If Lizzie had her druthers, she’d probably stay in bed all day,” says her best friend, Susan “Goldie” Goldberg, a former AMC exec who met Moss on the pilot of Mad Men. Though the two text often and share a “borderline obsession” with Disneyland, there are a handful of subjects on which they don’t see eye to eye. “Lizzie’s a diehard Chicago Cubs fan, and I’m a longtime Mets fan, so we agree not to talk about that,” says Goldberg, now an exec at Annapurna. “Or I love hiking in L.A., and Lizzie dismisses the whole notion of hikes, making fun of me and my ‘urban walks,’ as she calls them.” Other Moss favorites: Central Park, sushi and a decent Moscow Mule.

Moss is equally skilled at downplaying her professional accomplishments. Ask about her first visit to the Cannes Film Festival in May, when her indie The Square, a satire of the art world, won the Palme d’Or and her upcoming season of Top of the Lake earned rapturous reviews, and she tries to refocus the conversation on the surrealness of the festival. (“It’s like a French Fellini movie,” she says. “Everyone’s walking around in tuxedos with people taking pictures of them, and you’re like, ‘Who the hell are these people?’ “) After a fair amount of prodding, she finally accepts that her recent track record is noteworthy. “Yeah,” she allows, “I recognize that I seem to be on a streak of finding really good stuff and people liking it.”

Looking ahead, that “stuff” will include many projects that she’ll be intimately involved in from the start — such as Fever, the story of Typhoid Mary, which she acquired the rights to and is starring in and producing with one of her mentors, Annapurna’s Sue Naegle, for BBC America. She has been busy meeting with other female producers, too, including Girls‘ Jenni Konner, who calls Moss “our generation’s Meryl Streep,” about potential collaborations; and she’s in the process of setting up a production company with two other women, citing actress turned prolific producer Reese Witherspoon as an inspiration. Though female-led projects will almost certainly be her bailiwick, she’ll continue partnering with liberal-minded men, too, including filmmaker Alex Ross Perry, with whom she already has done two films. The pair is quietly prepping a third, for which Moss reveals she’ll play the lead of a female rock group who’s also an alcoholic, drug-addicted mother. “Come on,” she jokes, “she couldn’t just be a rock star.”

Like Ross Perry, most who have teamed with Moss try to do so again. Campion wasn’t interested in returning to Top of the Lake for a second installment unless she knew Moss was on board. She proposed the idea on a coaster that she slipped under Moss’ hotel room door when they were both in L.A. for the Emmys. “An actor like her is often relegated to sidekicks, characters and best friends, but beginning with Top of the Lake, Lizzie proved she could be a lead — that she had the charisma and gravitas to pull it off,” says Campion, who adds that she’s accessible as an actress and humble as a human in a way that so many are not.

Weiner, her former Mad Men boss, has been busy writing his Amazon anthology series, about descendants of the Romanov family, and while he hasn’t begun casting, he has said publicly that he’d like to have past castmembers like Moss drop in. Though she has yet to have that conversation with him, she says she’d “love to do it.” Her current boss Miller says he can’t fathom doing another project without Moss by his side. Sure, he has been blown away by her talent onscreen (“She’s a miracle to watch,” he says), but it’s her contributions as a producer on Handmaid’s that he hadn’t anticipated valuing so much. “Lizzie brings something that you don’t normally get from producers, and once you get it, you never want to not have it,” he explains. “Someone who’s an expert on actors. A lot of the work that she did the first season was just managing this cast of players and getting a great performance out of all of them.”

Of course, that doesn’t mean it has always been smooth with Moss at the helm. She famously put her foot in her mouth when promoting the series at the Tribeca Film Festival in April. When asked whether the show’s feminist themes drew her to the project, she responded, “Honestly, for me, it’s not a feminist story. It’s a human story because women’s rights are human rights. … I never intended to play Offred as a feminist.” Within minutes, the Twitter mob had pounced, and the media began blasting her “striking and somewhat baffling” reluctance to associate with the feminist movement. The experience proved a wake-up call for Moss. “I was asked a question about my character, and I was thinking about my character and about the TV show,” she says, “not that I was speaking for feminists.”

In the months since, she has warmed up to her new platform, even if it can still leave her with a pit in her stomach. “If you’re spending a year on something and you’re thinking about it, you’re reading a book over and over and you’re having to do these scenes, it sinks in, this idea of like, what happens if we don’t say anything or what happens if I don’t speak up?” she says. She has started donating to both the ACLU and Planned Parenthood and has found ways to incorporate the organizations’ pins and ribbons into her red carpet looks and her Instagram feed for her quarter-million followers to see.

After the lunch bill has been paid, I ask whether she worries about alienating the part of her audience that might not feel the same way she does on these issues. Her response is immediate and emphatic: “I’m such a staunch believer in women’s rights, I don’t really give a shit about anybody who isn’t. It’s like, I don’t need them to watch the show. At a certain point, things are more important than your job.” Which is why when you see Moss back on the red carpet at the Emmys in September, you can expect some kind of political statement. “There will probably be a pin or a ribbon involved,” she says, giggling as her mind wanders. “Or maybe I’ll just wear a giant ACLU ribbon and a really good spray tan.”

This story first appeared in the July 19 issue of The Hollywood Reporter magazine. To receive the magazine, click here to subscribe.

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