#him and his Facebook mom tattoos

[berry-s0da]

He’s the prettiest girl at the party

[wh0relibrarian]

sunshine

a/n: a continuation of this post, although altered to be a summer break instead of winter. completely got lost in that 😭 please excuse any informalities, i’m still getting used to writing in second person (or smut for that matter), and tumblrs post format! so don’t be mean ;(

context (if you don't want to read the previous post): Reader is visiting her hometown for the summer. A rising grad student who just so happens to bump into Sukuna at the airport. After quick introductions, he gives her his number in case she gets too lonely...

content ahead: southern sukuna au, black coded!reader, afab!reader, d referred to as dick bc i don’t like using “cock”, v referred to as cunt or pussy, age gap (reader in her early 20s, sukuna is in his early 30s), cowgirl, daddy kink, rough!sukuna (but he’s still a softie), needy!reader, clit stimulation, nicknames such as sweetheart, princess, baby/babydoll, creampie, ass/face slaps, lots of praise, a decent amount of plot

word count: 3.9k

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

You’ve been texting Sukuna for a week now. Off and on, trying not to seem too interested, but interested enough to keep his attention. It sucked that he was a man very obviously out of touch with technology, because you can’t find pictures of him anywhere. Not even a Facebook page. You’ve just been grasping at straws, trying to remember each detail of his face. Each tattoo. You didn’t even get enough time to admire the one’s on his face, way too engulfed in his general appearance.

And oh, Sukuna. That poor man. He knew from the moment he saw you that you’d keep him up at night. From the curvature of your lips— only being the opening act to the beautiful smile you had hidden beneath. He tries to remember what color your shirt was, but can only remember how plump your tits looked. Practically spilling out of a… tank top? Or maybe it was a crop top. You had a jacket on, which he knows was gray because you kept trying to wrap it around your waist like you were embarrassed by your body. He couldn’t figure out why, though. You’re beautiful from head to toe, every part of you.

But today, today was the day you’d ask him to take you out. Or just ask to go out in general. Hell, you’d take anything at this point.

You: Hiii Sukuna. How’s your wrist feeling? I know a couple days ago you said it was progressively getting worse, any updates?

Sukuna: Hey babydoll. I think it’s all good now. Nothin a lil icyhot can’t fix. How are you?

You: I’m happy to hear that :) and I’m okay, just bored, per usual.

Sukuna: Ya know I’m always around.

You: It’s funny you mention that… I was wondering if you were busy later today? Or tonight. Either or, whatever works best for you. If you would even want to do anything of course.

Sukuna: City girl finally ready to get some sunshine?

You: Don’t make fun of me 😑

Sukuna: Oh I’d never do such a thing. Are you free right now? My lunch break’s comin up, could use the company.

You: Yes I am! I can be ready in 15, I’ll send my address.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

You weren’t as nervous as you thought you’d be. You know you looked good, you felt good. You put on a casual outfit, just a pair of bell bottoms and some old t-shirt your mom left around. This wasn’t a date, and you didn’t want to scare him, so you treated it like a normal hang out with a friend.

He picked you up in an old pickup truck, run down from the years spent riding on dirt roads and an occasional swamp. (Things can get messy the further south you go.) It was normal where you’re from to have at least one beat up truck per household, so his car was not a problem. You were all smiles, nearly skipping your way to the passenger side. Sukuna rolled down the window and he too had a bright toothy smile plastered on his face. It almost looked malicious, but you overlooked it once you got in. Something about his presence had you in a trance, you couldn’t focus on anything else but him.

When you opened the door, he stretched his arm out to help you into the chair. You made it a point to act as if you were struggling to get in and shut the door, nerves suddenly keeping you from wanting to look him straight in the eye. “Damn sweetheart… just look at you,” he said while leaning his body back, taking a moment to take in your appearance. “Hiii Sukuna, you aren’t too bad yourself,” you said giggling.

“We’re just goin’ up to Milo’s, hope that’s luxury enough for ya.”

“You think I came dressed like this for somethin’ luxury?”

“Well if that ain’t luxury, I’d be curious to see what is.”

Smirking, Sukuna went back to putting his full focus on the road. The butterflies in your stomach had died down, finding his presence incredibly inviting and safe. You were looking out the window for a while, until his hand found yours which was resting on your thigh. You turn around to him surprised, only to see his eyes still trained on the road in front of him. His hand clasped yours and gripped it tight, and you found the silence warm, like a gentle hug you wanted to last forever.

The lunch date was sweet. You both ordered cheeseburgers, fries, and a large sweet tea; reveling in its taste since it had been some time since you had genuine sweet tea. He started asking you about your schooling, learning that you’re majoring in business and will soon start working on your master’s degree. This charmed him— you were both alike even if it was in different ways. You’ve always provided for your mother, and so has he. You won’t stop reaching new opportunities, and neither will he. As the date went on his attraction only grew deeper. Your physical appearance did not mean much to him, you were to die for, but right now he wanted to know every single thing about you and didn’t care about anything else.

But… this wasn’t to say he’s not a curious man.

When ordering the food, you took a step back to look at the entire menu. This caused your skin tight shirt to rise up ever so slightly, showing off your cute tummy and belly button piercing. You noticed him staring, and he was never one to lie.

“Sukuna, order some damn food and stop looking at me like that,” you slapped his large bicep jokingly, making that same smirk from earlier slowly grow on his face.

“Mmm, you hidin’ that accent from me girl. Soundin’ so pretty bossin’ me around.”

You could tell the cashier felt a bit awkward at this point, so you pushed Sukuna in front of you to get him to focus.

Even though he would have moments like those, you didn’t feel like he was objectifying you. It never became the focal point of your conversations. It seemed like he was genuinely interested in getting to know you and it made you feel so… different. Sure you were young, but you’d never experienced such a natural yet interesting conversation with a man. You were shocked by it, to say the least, and it only made you want him more.

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After that day, you two were basically inseparable. He made it a point to try and see you after work, and if there was a day where he couldn’t do it, he’d make it up to you x2 the next day. He immediately started spoiling you, whether it was food or sending you money for new makeup, it’s like he couldn't do enough for you. You were always beyond grateful, and would even tell him to tone it down a bit, but he’d always say, “Princesses deserve princess things.”

It’d been around four weeks of this, the dates would get more romantic, and his time with you only more cherished. Although the flirting continued to grow, he never made a move on you. You definitely didn’t want to be the one to initiate anything. Maybe there was a reason for him not wanting to get physical, but not even a kiss? It was killing you at this point, every night you spent just dreaming of what his pretty lips felt like on yours. Not being able to help your hands traveling down to your aching pussy. You were so horny it hurt, and nothing you did could satiate the feeling; knowing good and well that his fingers— let alone his dick could reach spots you didn’t even know were there. Your own fingers would suffice for now, but you would be leaving in just a few weeks, you needed to know what Ryomen Sukuna was like in bed.

So, the next time he picks you up, you make sure to look drop dead gorgeous (not like he didn’t think that about you regardless.)

A few days ago, he paid for your hair and nail appointments. Large knotless braids with curly pieces coming out of them, and the prettiest french tip set you’d ever got done. You told him you wanted everything to be a surprise, and that you were planning to get a new outfit as well AND that he didn’t have to send you money for that. But you know he did anyway. The plan for this night was a drive-in movie closer to the heart of the city rather than where you both resided. There was a wing place you loved, different shops, and the movie would be the last activity.

After picking up a new sundress, a black one with thin straps and a slit at the bottom, you felt confident enough that tonight would go well. You took a shower when you got home, lathered your skin with shea butter from head to toe, and put on all the gold jewelry you owned.

There’s no way he wouldn’t want to fuck you dumb.

As always, dinner with Sukuna was to die for. He was such a gentleman, making sure to pull your chair out for you, telling you to get whatever you wanted from the menu. “Don’t be scared sweetheart, want you nice ‘n full.”

You shopped for a little while after, well, it was really window shopping. You felt so bad that Sukuna was paying for everything, even though he always insisted. You decided to just point out all of the things you liked, kind of like a test— if he really liked you then he’d remember all these things for a future event.

The drive-in was dead. Which I guess isn’t too surprising, you can’t remember the last time someone talked about seeing a movie here. Nonetheless, this was your dream scenario. With basically no one to catch you guys, it was the perfect breeding ground (literally.) The movie was some rom-com looking thing in black and white which you begged to watch, only because you knew neither of you would want to pay attention. Once he grabbed some popcorn and soda from the concession stand, he pulled up in front of the big projection, claiming he needed to be as close as possible because of his eyesight. After a few minutes of pretending to be interested, you turned to him and finally broke the ice.

“‘Kuna, do you like me?” Sukuna couldn’t believe the question.

“Of course I like you baby, why else would I be here?”

“Well,” you started, “I don’t know…”

“Oh, you know.”

“I know you like me, it’s just like— we aren’t like… you know.”

“Gonna have to use your words sweetheart.”

You looked forward as you tried to find the best way to say this, you decided to just rip the bandaid off.

“We haven’t kissed! Or anything! You just hug me or wrap your arm around my waist, but we haven’t done nothin’ ‘kuna. And I’m not sayin’ that’s any indicator of how much you like me, I’m just sayin’ it’d be ni—”

You anticipated this kiss, not only because you did everything in your power to set it up, but you could feel Sukuna’s eyes latching onto the way your lips moved while talking. His lips were just as soft as you imagined, tasting like cherry carmex and popcorn. His hand found its way to the side of your face, cupping it gently until he moved it to tilt your chin up towards him. Your mouth opened a little from the change in angle, giving Sukuna’s tongue access to the warmth yours had to offer. He melted deeper into the kiss, and so did you, as it continued to get more sloppy and wet. You could tell he was eager, swirling and dancing on the tip of your tongue, sucking it harshly like he was trying to gather as much saliva as possible. Just to pull back and have it leak out of his mouth, dripping down both his and your chin. It was downright nasty the way your fluids were colliding, but it turned you on an unbelievable amount. Whining and groaning into him, rubbing your thighs together, lacking the correct amount of friction from wearing a dress instead of pants.

Your hand started traveling to his chest and lower, and he could tell you were really riled up at this point simply from the way you were tugging on his shirt. He pulled his lips off yours, making you reach out for him still since your eyes were closed. When you opened them, you were able to see the true mess you two caused. Sukuna was drooling, his heavy lidded eyes not daring to move from your frame. His hair was everywhere, and you couldn’t be happier with your hairstyle of choice.

“Fuck baby,” he said while rubbing on the sides of your stomach, “I really need you. I’ve been needin’ you. Yer just so damn sexy, of course I’ve been wantin’ to do stuff. Just didn’t wanna make you uncomfortable.” He leaned in to kiss your cheek and up to the shell of your ear, “Never want you uncomfortable.”

And that sent you over, you cupped his face with both of your hands, kissing him hard. He growled from your sudden dominance, and with a few swift movements, pulled his seat back and slid you over the middle console and into his lap. Your dress hiked up to your thighs once you straddled him, allowing Sukuna to feel just how wet you were. With one hand on your face, and the other on your waist, he slowly made his way down to your cunt.

“So fuckin’ wet for me,” he whispered against your lips, making slow circles on your puffy clit. “This f’me? Say it’s for me babydoll.”

“It’s for you ‘kuna, it’s all for you. Please–” His fingers slid your panties to the side, revealing just how sticky you were for him. Your pussy was basically crying to be touched, and Sukuna was a gentleman, of course.

His mouth never left yours, left hand now resting behind your neck, while his other is furiously rubbing your bare clit. Your moans were being swallowed by Sukuna’s mouth, and when the pleasure finally got to be too much, you suddenly threw your head back with a yelp. Catching yourself immediately, you press your forehead into his.

“‘M sorry, fuck, ‘m sorry— it’s t-too much.”

“Don’t apologize princess, I love seein’ you act like this. So slutty.”

Your tits have barely been able to stay concealed in your already showy dress. They spilled out on their own from your sporadic movements, and once Sukuna could see one, he dropped everything to unveil the other and fondle them both. You kept grinding on his very hard dick, keeping up the rhythm he set up for you while he went to town on your boobs. Massaging them, pinching and flicking the nipples, mumbling things like “fuckin’ shit they’re so soft,” and “need to fuck you.” It wasn’t long before he popped one into his mouth, sucking on it, making it soo much more sensitive. You were squealing at this point, Sukuna looked up at you to see the tears forming at the corner of your eyes. With a ‘pop’ he brought his attention back to your beautiful face. Somehow fucked out just from dry humping. How cute, he thought to himself.

“Look at me, princess.” You struggled, but your eyes met his, still striving for your release. “‘M gonna fuck you, okay? Is that what you want?” You started nodding your head yes like a damn puppy.

“Need to hear you say it princess. Tell me you want it.”

“Wan’ it s-so bad baby, fuck me, I need you to fuck me.”

The thing about pick-up trucks is that there’s not really a backseat, which means you’d have to ride him right where you were. This wouldn’t have been a problem, until Sukuna quickly pulled down his pants and boxers, revealing probably the biggest dick you’ve ever seen. It was the fucking length that scared you. It wasn’t too thick, but girthy enough that it, plus his length, would have your legs shaking for days. He gave his dick slow strokes while you took off your dress, suddenly feeling embarrassed from being the only one naked. He could see you get self conscious by the way you try and hide yourself like the day he met you.

“Whatcha lookin’ at me like that for,” his eyes were still focused on yours while he prepared himself, licking his lips like he was genuinely going to eat you later.

“I can’t look at ya? You just look so damn good sweetheart. Can’t believe yer all mine.”

“You don’t have to gas me up now,” you said looking away.

“Nuh-uh,” he grabbed your cheeks and turned your face back to his, “I’ma always tell you how good you look. Don’t act so shy now baby.”

Your pussy clenched around nothing at his statement, still leaking from the previous foreplay. He pulled your forehead to his lips, kissing it tenderly, and when he let go of your face he asked you one last time if you were ready. You whisper out a shy yes and grab his dick cautiously, lining it up with your entrance as you slowly lower yourself onto it. You let out a sharp grasp as Sukuna rests his hands on the sides of your hips, trying to assist in any way he can. Once you’re close to bottoming out, he starts whispering praises.

“Doin’ so good babydoll.”

“Look at you takin’ me so well.

Every time he spoke your pussy would clench around him, making him hiss and choke back a whine. Once he was all the way inside you, you let out a breathe you didn’t realize you were holding. You raised your head to look at him instead of the way he was stretching you out. There’s that smirk again. One of his hands finds it’s way back to your clit, rubbing slow circles like before to help you relax. You were so tense but you tried to keep a level-headed face, even though it literally felt like you were being split in two.

You felt your walls get used to his size and shape, feeling them contort and mold into Sukuna’s cocksleeve. With that, you start riding him slowly, using his shoulders to stay balanced. You got the hang of it quickly and began picking up pace. He was still stimulating your clit, using his other hand to keep guiding your body up and down. It was clear that you were struggling to take him all in though, pausing every few seconds to catch your breathe or readjust yourself. And this would just not do for Sukuna.

He gripped and slapped your ass hard.

“Gotta do better than that baby.”

Smack

“C’mon sweetheart, put your fucking. back. into. it.”

Each emphasis on a word was coupled with a hard thrust and loud whines coming from the depths of your throat. The sounds you were both making at this point bounced around the truck. There wasn’t a moment of silence and you felt blissful. Lulling your tongue out just for Sukuna to catch between his teeth; moving his hand back to bully your clit, and using his free hand to grab your face and continue fucking his hips up into yours. He was growling obscenities into your ear, “Yeah baby, just like that keep fucking me like that.”

“Sukuna, please! Fuckfuckfuck I can’t,” you were bouncing on his dick beautifully, tits bouncing in unison and he truly believed you were unreal.

“Yes you can baby,” he gave your face light slaps, “keep those eyes open, keep lookin’ at me baby. Doin’ so good, I promise.” You were leaking like a faucet down his dick and balls, and with a certain thrust, you were sure he was hitting your cervix. The string of cries that came out of your mouth made him go faster, harder, knowing that he finally found the spot that makes you weak.

“Am I makin’ you feel good baby?”

“Mhmm, y-yesss, so so good.”

“Yes who?” Your eyes were crossing trying to look at him, confused at what he meant at first, but as his thrusts got rougher you knew exactly what he was getting at.

“Y-yes daddy, it feels so good.” You were slightly embarrassed by the things you were saying, the noises too. You felt so dirty, but in a good way. Searching for your release that was so close.

Sukuna was close too, but he didn’t want that to come before he made you gush all over his dick. When he found his way to your neck, kissing and biting and sucking on your precious skin, you were done.

“Fuck daddy right there!”

“Here sweetheart? You like this?”

“Yesyesyes don’t stop please don’t stop–” and with a cry you were creaming all over Sukuna’s dick. Your pussy clamped down on him so tight, he couldn’t help but look down at the beautiful mess you made all over his thighs. He kept fucking you through your orgasm, causing you to become incredibly overstimulated. Sukuna was getting close, you could tell by his relentless strokes, forgetting any type of consistent pace. His hands were on your hips now, pistoning up into you as your head rested gracefully on his shoulder.

“Mm babydoll gimme a kiss, c’mere.”

When your shaky lips met his, he was sent into overdrive.

“Fuck ‘m gonna cum. Fuck baby, where do you want it.”

Absolutely fucked out, you tried to come up with some sort of cohesive thought. “I-insi..de ‘kuna. In m-me.”

“You sure? Tell me you’re fuckin’ sure, yer milkin’ me baby.”

“I’m s-sure. Please please just cum inside me!”

“Oh, fuckkk…” Sukuna’s load filled your pussy to the brim, leaking out to coat the sides of his dick. He made you feel so full and warm. Finally stopping his thrusts, you hunch over his shoulder and he begins rubbing what feels like hearts on your back, humming into your ear how good you were for him, dick never leaving your pussy.

“Did such a good job princess. So fuckin’ good, are you an angel? Must be an angel, the way you dropped into my life like this.”

“Mmmm I’m your angel ‘kuna. I was made for you only.”

Although the moment was wholesome, your mind immediately flooded with the thought of you leaving in a few weeks.

How were you supposed to leave after this?

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hope you enjoyed ;) and let me know if i missed anything as far as my content ahead section goes!

tags: @aiyaaayei

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if i don't design my grandpa a tattoo of his dead mom I never met?

I (20 M) and my grandpa (50s? M) have a pretty good relationship. We don't talk very often because he lives in a different state, but we see each other a few times a year when he visits town. Our relationship has grown pretty shallow because of how little we interact with each other, as we haven't had any deep conversations or interactions since I was about 14 when he moved out of state.

Due to this, he still pretty much sees me exactly how he did when I was around the ages of 7-10 as this was when he was in my life the most. I've been actively going by another name since age 13, he knows, but he refuses to call me my name (despite it literally being my legal middle name that he's always known and used to call me it before I decided to reject my legal first name). He's sat me down in private telling me he would never call me my chosen name because it's too hard for him to remember. I'm kind of bitter to him towards this and am allowing our relationship to become more shallow. I'm trans and I know he'll never see me as a man, because he basically sees me as a 10 year old girl and no matter what I do he won't respect my identity. I don't think he like...believes in trans people but we've never had a direct conversation about it.

Now heres the actual situation: a week before father's day, he messages me on facebook at midnight asking me to design him a tattoo alongside my cousin (25 M) who is in a complete other state and is also kinda shallow towards him due to being closeted as bi and my grandpa being homophobic to mlm (he's ok with lesbians bc my cousins mom is one and she's the favorite child lol). he wanted a tribute tattoo dedicated to my dead great grandmother that I never met and don't care about at all. This is completely out of my scope of artistic skill as I mostly draw suggestive art of thick anthro women and I don't want to make a tribute tattoo for someone i never met? Considering how porn-y my style is I think it would be disrespectful to do it as well. Also I was high as fuck when he messaged me. I don't know why I did, but I agreed to do it and then asked my cousin to do it, despite him also never meeting her. He agreed to handle it. Weeks pass

A week or so ago, my grandpa came in town and the first thing he said to me is "Hey girl! Where's my tattoo?" and I was instantly uncomfortable but i just shrugged it off and made a joke and it didn't come up for a while. It turns out my cousin didn't draw the tattoo either, but I don't blame him too much ngl. The whole week he was in town, he kept bugging me about doing this tattoo for him and I kept shrugging him off. My mom, who actually knew the lady, made a tattoo design and it was really clever and personalized and well thought-out, but he rejected it because it wasn't my cousin or I who designed it.

I never plan on making it. Should I just do it to get it over with?

What are these acronyms?

[mayweneverdie]

LITERALLY JUST MODERN EAGLE FLIES HEADCANNONS 🫶

Sir yes sir 🫡

MODERN EAGLE FLIES!!1!1!!!

Cw: a bit of angst

—

Has quarters on him for capsule toy machines

If he doesn’t he’s panhandling Paytah for some

Or those temporary tattoo machines with the stupidest images

These:

Is easily convinced to apply it to his face or lower back

Has a shitty stick and poke that he let Paytah do

It’s a wonky skeleton the size of half his thumb

Almost pierced his ears with the help of Paytah and the potato method

Rains Fall just narrowly caught them so he had iced his ear and bought a potato for nothing

If he’s eating on the porch he may toss a piece of his food to some of the stray dogs that hang around

Sometimes he’ll sit in his brother’s old room and let his feelings flow while he’s looking through his old stuff

That is until he finds something he shouldn’t have and leaves

The year he turned older than his brother was the worst for him

Refused a party and stayed in his brother’s room for almost the entire day

Sometimes he’ll message his old facebook account to update him on the things he missed

Has a picture he snagged from the photo album of his mom and brother that he keeps in his sun visor

Goes out to the porch and bribes the cat with lunch meat to brush out it’s fur

Named it Oscar because it especially love the Oscar Meyer hot dogs

Got scratched one time by Oscar when Paytah was with him and was called cat scratch for nearly a year by him

Biggest fan of Texas Roadhouse

If it weren’t for his father stopping him, he’d eat all the rolls before anyone else got one

Blanket hog

It could be in the negatives and he’s taking the blanket all for himself

Unless you’re laying on his chest

Otherwise he’s not giving none to you

Tries to be romantic through small gestures

Like keeping hair ties on his wrist

Or buying you snacks from the convenience store

Fallen victim to the slippers that look like shoes

It’s his kryptonite

Collects bottle caps and can tabs

Swears he’s gonna make something with them (he doesn’t)

Hates twilight movies

Can’t stand them

But loves romance movies (he would rather die before someone finds that out)

—

I love him

I was gonna put patrick saying i love you but i found this gif instead

[feverinfeveroutfic]

now—just a disclaimer—I completely understand that I’m going into very treacherous territory here with this, especially when I don’t personally know Alex (so save your fucking comments). This is totally a leap of faith and returning to the theory I had back in 2022 (but I was too afraid to articulate it because it’s… well, it’s serious). I’ve matured a lot since then, and I’m also just watching how things are playing out between him and her and now obviously Testament.

but I found this website back then, and it admittedly was the thing that got me to thinking “something is off here with Alex, like… something shifted.” And I would think about it a lot as his mom got sick and then his dad died, and just watching his face and his behavior and how it has all shifted in the last two years.

so, let me just show you all

the signs.

when you read about guilt tripping, it’s all about just that, making someone feel bad. I will never understand why but it’s so common with charity work, especially if it involves animals (look no further than those godforsaken aspca commercials that are like 5 minutes long; i literally can’t watch those because a.) I want to save them all; and b.) it’s textbook guilt tripping).

and frankly, she fits the profile for someone who guilt trips on a regular basis (not very social = has difficulty communicating and setting boundaries; patronizing and tone-deaf = regularly gets under people’s skin by saying bullshit like “oh, I’ve worked so tirelessly!!”) in my time in engineering school/the world of STEM, this is really common, especially with women. Trying to be like “one of the boys” while being obsessed with femininity and maturity and appearances, and not really having a full understanding the outside world. I had the misfortune of knowing women like that, and I was like oil and water with them because they would do things like try and be eccentric (when it just comes naturally to me).

But then, this comes into play:

I have watched that man’s behavior change and morph so much in the last two years, from friendly and close to everyone, to… oddly aloof, except on his livestreams. I’ve also seen his behavior change to aloof and even cold on Facebook and Threads. I don’t have twitter anymore so I can’t say—but the fact that he’s still on twitter after everything that’s happened over there the last two years is oddly telling to me. Letting go of something that you’ve had for years and years and has been a significant feature of your life is painful, but you have to let go at some point.

I’ve found that this is a symptom of someone who is being abused (it doesn’t mean that everyone who struggles with letting go is being abused in some way, though. Food for thought).

but. There is this:

the man is a deer in the headlights every time her name comes up (I remember this well the first time I saw her on his livestream)

is all over her profile (and not in the gushy, boy crazy manner that I do with him, or like I used to do with Ben shepherd). This would explain why he lets her get away with bullshit that he would reprimand other people over (obviously not quarantining, wearing inappropriate clothes for certain situations, wearing clothes that—sorry—she’s got absolutely no business wearing like a miniskirt)

i’ll never forget the one time he posted something and he literally called himself “insufferable” (seriously, it is tattooed on my brain). There’s healthy self-deprecation and then there’s that.

people who are decreed as “shy” or “introverted” tend to be icebergs, speaking as a former shy person myself. I have vivid memories of people freaking out over me having a short fuse when I had been calm and collected the whole time. I know she’s hiding something… and he’s afraid to say what it is for fear of beholding the truth about her.

he has no children and there’s too much opacity, so it’s hard to confirm 3, 7, and 9.

but what do you want to bet that if he was split up with her and cut off all ties with her right now, he’d be guilt tripped for it? “What’s the matter, you don’t want to help animals, asshole?” Like that.

see the point about calling himself “insufferable”. I’m getting all the flashbacks to my sever lack of self-esteem. I wasn’t unfamiliar with words like that applied to myself. Behind that cool demeanor is a man crying.

see the last point above. You know he won’t hear the end of it.

A nerdy man with a sweet, almost seductive smile who now constantly looks tired and frightened. Could just be age settling in but it just seems weird to me because he always looked full of energy and life in 2022.

he does strike me as someone who’s depressed, speaking as someone who’s dealt with depression, and watched her father and stepfather both struggle with it, especially as he gets older and especially as of late. “I’m going to be how old?!” Yeah, he was joking around when he said that but I just think of his tone back on his birthday. Every one coming quicker it feels like. It’s a tour birthday. I’m so tired. I heard this all the time before I turned 20, which was the thick of my depressive episode.

he did drink quite a bit last year. And he frowns at pastries and sweet things but is happy to drink beer…… I’m getting all the memories to my stepdad refusing something my mom made and calling things like cake fattening but was happy to guzzle booze until his liver gave up.

being unkempt… or (and I was thinking about this when I saw this), all of a sudden really cares about his appearance. Running 3-4 miles, which is absolutely lethal on your joints and bones, especially as you get older. Drinking that godawful green shit. Eating more vegan stuff. Being critical of baked goods and sweet stuff and having this attitude about it all that almost feels out of character for him: dude, you’re humble and the guy up the street, why do you think you’re better than people who like that stuff? It triggered me quite a bit, but I started thinking about it more and more.

and yeah, he just… doesn’t look well.

don’t think he’s being physically abused so I skipped that box.

but I did go to this.

all of a sudden, he’s mentioning her a lot. All of a sudden, she’s running Testament’s social media accounts and joining them on their tour. Being the one taking photos of them like the calculating neurotic little fuck she is (and Chuck doesn’t look too happy about it, Eric doesn’t want to be in the same room, and Alex once again is a deer in the headlights). Bringing alex into park slope cats and not giving him proper training to the point she’s breaking protocol.

though I’ve been offline from instagram not even a week, I haven’t seen him on facebook or on threads. I know he hasn’t blocked me because I can still see him.

***edit: just caught him on facebook seeing Iron Maiden. But again, it’s out of character because he’s usually kind of finessed about these things. This “guess where I am” thing gives me all kinds of questions, namely… where you going with this.

I have a very sinking feeling about this, too.

I never told anyone this, but after my first concerning posts, he actually messaged me on Instagram and told me not to worry about it, mainly because it was obviously upsetting me and there’s really nothing I can do about it because there’s thousands of miles between us (or it could be that he’s that far gone). That was really why I started writing seasons grey: I kept thinking about what I would do if I lived near him.

two years on, and things seem to have only gotten progressively worse on his end. And if he’s reading this… here you go, Alex.

Whether you want to admit it or not, maddy is going to have you killed. This seemingly perfect woman is going to have you killed in some way and it absolutely wrecks me that I can’t be Christine and pull you away from her, help you clear your head and help you heal.

god knows I tried.

What’s really heartbreaking about all of this (besides the fact that I can’t physically do anything and people generally think I’m crazy), is how little resources there are for men in these situations. There’s hordes of resources for us, but who’s looking out for our counterparts?

I want him to be strong. I’ve been relaying that onto myself (especially after this year).

and again, Alex, if you’re here right now, letting go of something that you’ve had for years and years and has been a significant feature of your life is painful. But you have to let go at some point. especially when your life is on the line.

[townofcrosshollow]

A while ago I started writing this little... idk, horror romance short story? About a man catching up with an old high school friend who may or may not be a murderer. This is an unfinished snippet, but I felt like sharing it, if only to give myself the motivation to write more haha.

CW for implied violence and suicide

Wesley Short was not in the habit of keeping up with old acquaintainces. He only scrolled Facebook occasionally, when boredom drove him to look empty-eyed at smiling vacation photos and baby announcements. His old high school "friends" were all getting on with their lives, pages plastered with photos of their prim and proper lives, having children of their own that they could afford with their fancy post-university jobs. Wesley never left Best Buy. College went south after his parents died, and that was that.

But today, hunched over his laptop in bed, still in his uniform, Wesley was paying very close attention to Facebook. He'd opened it up idly after all his other distractions failed. And he had a message. It was a familiar name- Tammy Skinner, an old high school fling from before he concluded that girls weren't to his taste. They'd been good friends in those days even after the sex thing didn't work out, skipping chemistry and smoking together in the alley behind the soccer field every other day. Those were good days. By now, Wesley's throat was atrophied, the chatter long gone from his muscle memory.

Back in the day, Tammy Skinner could never stop talking. Her words had always been winding and unfocused, stories leading naturally into new ones, rarely giving Wesley a moment to talk. He didn't much mind that, not having much to say himself. But this message was brief, no explanation for its existence, casual, like a heads up. "Kieran's in jail." And attached, a link to a local news article.

Local man missing. Foul play suspected. His roommate, unnamed in the article of course, has been taken into custody under suspicion. Wesley knew who that man was, though, like he know the sun would rise tomorrow. Kieran.

***

Wesley met him around when he and Tammy decided to be just friends. Kieran transferred to their school after the Christmas break- rumour was he got expelled from his old one. Tammy's mom was friends with his mom, so the moment he arrived he was glued to her. This was not a normal teenager, that was clear as soon as Wesley laid eyes on him- he had a tattoo, an infinity sign on his wrist, below an arm peppered with scars. He swore at teachers. He wore dark clothes, intentionally ripped and stuck back together with safety pins, t-shirts for bands with unreadable names.

One Tuesday, Tammy was home sick with the flu. Wesley's heart clenched when Kieran sat down next to him on the windowsill in the lonely hallway where they always had lunch. Why was he still here? Tammy wasn't. He was Tammy's friend.

Without a word, the boy flipped through a spiral bound notebook to a fresh page, producing a red pen from his pocket. In scratchy lines he started to doodle. Although doodle might have been the wrong word for it- there was far too much force behind every stroke, like a toddler learning to hold a crayon. Ink had spilled through rips on the adjacent page, and the ghostly outlines of figures danced in indents. He drew in silence as Wesley ate his sandwich, glancing down every once in a while to see what was forming across the page.

Kieran was not an artist, or at least not a talented one. His drawings were not elegant or beautiful. But they were particular in a way that kept Wesley's attention. Rather than lines, he drew in scribbles, shading in forms and leaving empty space to indicate boundaries. A series of models took shape as the break continued, each not quite proportional, twisted in slightly unnatural shapes. And they were not whole. On one, the shading stopped at the neck, oval head not quite attached. Another was just a torso, yet another was posed christ-like with lines dripping from its hands.

"That's cool." Wesley spoke the first words since lunch had started.

"Thanks." Kieran's voice had been scratchy and coarse back then.

Weslsy pointed at a person on the page. "Is he getting hanged?"

"Yeah." As if to clear up any confusion, the boy went over the line that indicated the noose again, scribbling harder until the page ripped just over the neck.

"Why all the death?" It sounded like a silly question as soon as it had left Wesley's lips. Because he was a teenager.

Kieran shrugged. "I watch a lot of horror movies and stuff. I wanna make one someday."

"Like, directing? Or acting?"

"Acting... or special effects, or something, I don't know." Kieran was distracted by drawing spikes around the outside of one of the figures, like an iron maiden surrounding it. "It's gotta be cool to be, like, the guy holding the big machete and seeing all the fake blood go everywhere when you swing it."

"Yeah. That does sound cool." Wesley gestured at the page, asking what again struck him immediately as a silly question. "Can you draw me?"

Kieran didn't hesitate. He found a mostly empty corner of the lined paper and started scratching a body into it with long hair, a crude approximation of his acquaintance. He paused once the figure was complete, his pen tip circling the doodle as if to decide what cruelty to subject Wesley to. Eventually he scrawled out forked shapes around him pointing inwards, as if ready to stab into his flesh.

"Forks?" They looked like dinner forks to Wesley.

"Supposed to be like, pitchforks," Kieran clarified, "like you're getting tortured in hell, y'know?"

"Oh. Yeah, I see it."

Kieran shrugged. "Could be forks too. Like cannibals are going to eat you." And Wesley nodded along. Weird kid.

***

"Did he do it?" That was all Wesley could think to say. He hadn't talked to Tammy Skinner in what... 5 or 6 years? The occasional happy birthday message or like on a photo would be shared on whatever social media he hadn't yet gotten rid of. She had gotten married at some point to a man who looked incapable of keeping a marriage, and her new baby didn't quite look like him. She was a virtual stranger now. But they shared this, this memory of the weird kid at school, that tied them together over all of that distance.

Tammy didn't respond right away. Wesley got up to grab dinner. Microwaved mac and cheese. By the time he got back, artificial cheese sauce staining the corner of his lips, he'd gotten something. "No idea."

"Well has he been charged or anything?"

"They don't have a body so they don't even know what happened to the guy." Now that she was at her computer, Tammy typed quickly. "But they searched the house and found a gun, so they're charging him on posession without a license. Probably just so they can keep him there."

Considering his next question thoroughly, Wesley typed out a few different variations before settling on one- "Do you think he did it?"

"Probably."

***

It would be innacurate to say that Wesley became friends with Kieran over the next few months. It was more like he became a minor fascination, drip-feeding tantalizing tidbits that needed to be deconstructed and put into context. Kieran got suspended once for flipping off the principal in a meeting about constant dress code violations. He listened to Swedish metal bands and owned a real record player. His dad wasn't in the picture. He took a bunch of medication, for "everything under the sun," he claimed. He had a cool folding knife that he brought to school one time. He tried LSD. He liked true crime shows. He played Call of Duty and Dark Souls.

Kieran was tall, lanky, tattooed and pierced, with dark hair that partially hid his face and a pair of big era-appropriate thick rim glasses. His nose was a little asymmetrical, like it had been broken years ago. His lips were chapped and tight. A few patches of facial hair were starting to show, light and wispy, betraying his youth below a much older looking facade. Wesley wouldn't have called him attractive before meeting him, but there was a sort of magic about the kid, this intensity that drew him in. But a constant rotation of girlfriends and his own teenage lack of confidence stopped him from acknowledging it.

It was only towards the end of senior year, as finals grinded on and girls shopped for their prom dresses, that something changed. Tammy was home sick again. Kieran and Wesley were alone again. It was mostly quiet again. And the months of fascination didn't make Wesley any more able to speak up- if anything, his nerves had grown until that conversation about pitchforks and cannibalism seemed impossible. But Kieran, scribbling new torture methods into his battered notebook, took the initiative. "What's your next class?"

"English," Wesley responded. It was probably his best class, and even then, it was questionable.

"Wanna skip?"

The question caught Wesley off guard. Not because he didn't skip classes- his grades indicated otherwise. But because Kieran had never joined him and Tammy in their secret hiding spot behind the soccer field, and he'd certainly never hung out with Wesley outside of school. "What'd you wanna do?"

"My mom's at work if you wanna come by my place," Kieran responded blithely, still doodling away. "I've got weed."

The promise of mind-altering drugs calmed Wesley's nerves a little, with the prospect of an excuse for his awkward behaviour looking almost as good as free weed. Still, this felt off. Maybe because Kieran had been a distant fascination for all these months, the idea seemed impossible- seeing his apartment, his bedroom, smoking with him. It was like zookeeper being locked in with the gorillas. Something about it felt dangerous, wrong. But the answer was still yes.

***

As evening ticked on into night and then early morning, Wesley could not stop reading. He hadn't felt this invested in something in years, since depression had dulled his senses. Local news articles were annoyingly sparse with details, only a few paragraphs each, regurgitating the same facts as each other. It built only a loose picture of events, but one he could understand well enough.

Just over a week ago, 26 year old Theo McCarthy had failed to show up for a scheduled therapy appointment, prompting a welfare check at his apartment. Police had arrived at his apartment to find that his roommate claimed not to have seen him for three days. He hadn't shown up for work in four days, after calling in sick the day before his disappearance. A missing person's report was filed, but his roommate refused to let the police search the apartment, leading to a search warrant being taken out and a discovery of an illegal firearm in the roommate's posession. No clue to McCarthy's whereabouts was found, according to the articles at least. Searches were still ongoing.

In the comments sections and Reddit threads about the disappearance, theories ranged from suicide to murder to an accident that had been covered up. A few brave commenters pointed out the simple fact that there was no reason to conclude he was dead, though of course this less sensational view of things was met with heavy downvotes from true crime enthusiasts. The conclusion of most, it seemed, was that his roommate had shot him and dumped his body in the nearby lake. It only made sense.

Kieran's Facebook page was a ghost town, but it didn't take much scrolling through his friend list to find the missing roommate's page. Clicking a photo of a smiling young man at a beach, he was brought to an equally barren profile- Theo was the same age as Wesley. He had studied at the local college, and went to a high school on the other side of town. He didn't have a listed job. His last post, a photo of him with his family at the beach from which his profile picture had been cropped, was littered with well wishes that transitioned over time to thoughts and prayers for his wellbeing.

Another message came through from Tammy. "They set his bail pretty high, so I think they're trying to keep him in there till he confesses or something."

Wesley glanced back at Kieran's profile picture, at his thick furrowed brows and his crooked nose and his cracked lips. And he typed a response. "How much?"

[savefilescomng12]

Gypsy Rose Blanchard and Ryan Anderson argue over Ken Urker in Lifetime series

She wasn’t living her best life. Gypsy Rose Blanchard admits how unhappy she was while married to Ryan Anderson as they fight over her ex Ken Urker in the trailer for the upcoming Lifetime docuseries, “Gypsy Rose: Life After Lockup.” The preview, which was released Tuesday, begins with the 32-year-old Munchausen syndrome by proxy victim asking Anderson if he’s happy. Gypsy-Rose Blanchard tells Ryan Anderson how unhappy she is in their marriage in the trailer for the upcoming Lifetime docuseries, “Gypsy Rose: Life After Lockup.” Lifetime The trailer, released Tuesday, shows them fighting about her ex, Ken Urker. Lifetime “I just think that I would be happier somewhere else,” she confesses. Lifetime “Go call Ken,” Anderson quips. “You’re probably already talking to him anyway.” Lifetime “I’m very happy,” Anderson replies, to which she immediately confesses, “I just think that I would be happier somewhere else.” “Go call Ken,” Anderson sarcastically responds. “You’re probably already talking to him anyway.” Urker, 31, and Blanchard met while she was serving time for the second-degree murder of her mother, Dee Dee Blanchard. He had written her a “letter of support” after seeing the HBO documentary “Mommy Dead and Dearest.” The pair formed a deep bond and eventually got engaged in October 2018. However, they broke up at some point in 2019. Ken Urker is Blanchard’s ex-fiancé. Mega / SplashNews.com The pair got engaged in 2018 while she was still behind bars but broke up by the end of 2019. Mega / SplashNews.com Anderson, a former special education teacher, also wrote to Gypsy while she was locked up. They, too, felt a connection and became engaged. They got married in July 2022 in a private ceremony at the Chillicothe Correctional Center in Missouri, and he was there to retrieve Gypsy from prison when she was released early in December 2023. As the pair learned how to live life as a newly married couple and Gypsy experienced adult life outside prison bars for the fist time, Ken seemingly became an instant nuisance to Anderson and even Gypsy’s father, Rod Blanchard. Blanchard and Anderson also fell in love while she was locked up for the second degree murder of her mom. Instagram They wed in 2022. Instagram/@gypsyrose_a_blanchard “He’s trying to weasel his way back in because now Gypsy’s out of prison,” Rod claims at one point in the trailer. Earlier this year, he also expressed his doubts about his daughter’s marriage with Anderson. At another spot in the video, Anderson can be seen asking Gypsy who texted her, which seemingly turns into a yelling match later on in the day. “I don’t want to be controlled,” she vents. “You’re mad at me because I confided in someone.” She also warns her then-husband that she may potentially want a divorce. The trailer ends with a giddy Gypsy running into Urker’s arms. The trailer ends with Blanchard running into Urker’s arms. Lifetime They are currently dating. Lifetime Gypsy filed for divorce from Anderson in April, just about a week after she announced their separation on a private Facebook account. She also filed for a restraining order against him. By the time she filed for divorce, the ex-con had reconciliation rumors flying after she was photographed holding hands with Urker as they ran errands and after they got matching Husky tattoos. She confirmed their relationship at the end of April by sharing an image of them locking lips at the New Orleans Jazz & Heritage Festival. For more Page Six you love… Gypsy filed for divorce from Anderon in April. Lifetime He later told the Daily Mail that he was not handling their split well. Lifetime In May, the star confirmed Urker was moving to Louisiana to be closer to her. She even told Entertainment Tonight she feels he is her “soulmate.” “But I don’t want to move too fast because, you know, I want to pace myself,” she noted. “I don’t want to put expectations and make things too heavy.” Blanchard has since called Urker her “soulmate.” She also confirmed that he was moving to Louisiana to be with her. “We’re just basically enjoying our time together and, you know, hopeful for what the future has.” Anderson, meanwhile, told the Daily Mail he is “not doing well” amid their split. Speaking of her connectin with Urker, he added, “For me it just came out of the blue. I had no idea she still had such strong feelings for him.” “Gypsy Rose: Life After Lockup” will debut on Lifetime on June 3 at 9 p.m. ET. Source link Read the full article

[purplesurveys]

1868

Lasts

1. Last Beverage? A chocnut latte. I appreciate how baristas have figured out a way to incorporate chocnut into coffee. Mine even came with chunks 🥺

2. Last Phone Call? This afternoon at the mall when I needed to coordinate with my mom on where to meet up again, since we split so I could pick up something from the grocery and for her to do some shopping.

3. Last Text Message? My cousin, since I needed him to pass a message to my grandma.

4. Last Song You Listened To? Cuff It by Beyonce.

5. Last Time You Cried? Yesterday evening when I watched a video of one of those dog photographers who stop people on the street – the video I came across revolved around a deaf dog, and I started crying when I heard his owners talk about them and how he makes them happy.

Have You Ever

6. Dated Someone Twice? Mhm.

7. Been Cheated on? No, at least I don't think I was.

8. Kissed Someone And Regretted It? A few times.

9. Lost someone special? Yes.

10. Been Depressed? Yes. I had it worst at age 12, then again from 19 to 22.

11. Been Drunk? I have, yeah.

List Three Favorite Colors: I'm going to guess my answers to this will count as #12 to #14 because there isn't any on this survey? Hahaha let's go with purple for 12, pastel pink for 13, and sky blue for 14.

This Year Have You:

15. Made New Friends? Not really. I've come across new co-workers but I wouldn't call them friends.

16. Fallen Out Of Love? I have not felt in love in nearly half a decade.

17. Laughed until You Cried? Yes, for sure.

18. Met Someone Who Changed You? Nah.

19. Found Out Who Your True Friends Were? Well that already happened a while back, not necessarily just this year.

20. Found Out Someone Was Talking About You? Sure.

21. Kissed anyone on your friends list? Nope.

22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life? Like on Facebook? All of them. I never add anyone I don't know.

23. Do you have any pets? I have two dogs and they're my best friends.

24. What did you do for your last birthday? I took a nap for most of the afternoon then brought my family out for dinner at my favorite buffet. Angela and Hans also surprised me by coming over in the evening and we talked well until midnight.

25. What time did you wake up today? Around 9 AM.

26. What were you doing at midnight last night? Watching Bon Voyage.

27. Name something you CANNOT wait for? Jin getting discharged from the military. I can't believe 547 days have passed just like that?

28. Last time you saw your father? January. I will be seeing him again this Saturday though :)

29. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life? I wish I've done a better job networking so that looking for future job options wouldn't be such a bitch.

30. What are you listening to right now? BTS trying to make fire on Bon Voyage 4.

31. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom? I'm pretty sure I have.

32. What’s getting on your nerves right now? My back hurting.

33. What is your real name? Hi, I'm Robyn!

34. Zodiac Sign? Taurus.

35. Male or Female? Female.

36. Elementary School? Nah.

37. Middle School? Nope.

38. High School? Nope, but what I can tell you is I attended the same school from kinder to high school. Our schools here are not divided into levels.

39. Hair Color? It's naturally black, but right now it's dyed purple.

40. Long or short hair? I have short hair for now as I finally recently had it trimmed from my waist up to my collarbones.

41. Height? I'm 5'1".

42. Do you have a crush on someone? Nope.

43. What do you like about yourself? I like that I'm competitive because it's basically means that I've always wanted to be the best at everything. I know I'm not and won't be, but it helps form the drive to do the best I possibly could.

44. Piercings? I have on each earlobe.

45. Tattoos? None.

46. Righty or Lefty? Right handed.

Firsts

47. Surgery? Never had any.

48. Piercing? Earlobes, as a baby.

49. Tattoo? Don't have any.

50. Best Friend? Kaye but tbh it was so short-lived. We were 4 and we were only friends for a year lmao. My first real best friend would be Angela.

51. Sport you joined? Swimming.

52. Pet? Goldfish.

53. Vacation you remembered? My family regularly took us to water parks or would book a hotel room on the weekends when I was suuuuper young, but what I would count as the first real vacation we ever had was when we went to Boracay. I was 11 and it was my first plane ride, and I was shaking and had my eyes closed for like 80% of the 1-hour flight. I was also clueless enough to think the Philippines had different timezones, and by the time we landed I innocently asked my parents what time it was there, hehehe.

54. Concert? Paramore in 2013, when I was 15. It was loads of fun but I was also kind of pettily mad at them because the show was held just a couple of weeks before they released Self-Titled, so we missed all of that.

55. Crush? Like real-life crush, ...probably Andi.

56. Alcoholic Drink? It was a glass of margarita.

Right Now

57. Eating? Continued from...who knows when I took this last, lmao. Last weekend maybe? I'm not eating anything as I take this, but I had a cheeseburger and Kitkat frappe from Wendy's earlier this evening. Those two were the last things I had.

58. Drinking? Water.

59. I’m about to… Finish this then maybe take another one, as I wasn't able to take surveys all week.

60. Listening to… mono, Joon's mixtape. seoul is currently playing.

61. Waiting for… Jin to come back. Just 17 days left :)

Your Future

62. Want kids? Not part of the plan anymore.

63. Want to get married? I've learned to be fine on my own.

64. Careers in mind? I love the industry I'm in; it's just a matter of reaching bigger things from here.

Which Is Better with the opposite/same sex

65. Lips or Eyes? Lips.

66. Hugs or Kisses? Kisses, I guess. I'm not affectionate, but I do prefer those more.

67. Shorter or Taller? Taller, because I'm kind of short as it is heh.

68. Older or Younger? Older.

69. Romantic or Spontaneous? Spontaneous can be romantic too, so I'd pick that.

70. Nice stomach or Nice arms? Arms.

71. Tattoos or Piercings? I don't really have a preference.

72. Sensitive or Loud? About...?

74. Trouble Maker or Hesitant? Hesitant. I hate bad influences lol

Have You Ever (2)

75. Kissed a stranger? Have not.

76. Drank hard liquor? Sure. Those days are far behind me now lol, but yeah I used to.

77. Lost glasses/contacts? Would be very stupid of me to lose my glasses as I practically need them to function haha. So no this hasn't happened, but I have broken my glasses before – I've sat on them, stepped on them, leaned on them too much etc I can be pretty reckless lol which is stupid in its own right.

79. Broken someone’s heart? I'm sure I have.

80. Had your heart broken? Yes.

81. Been arrested? Nope. I've been pulled over for traffic violations but that's the worst it's ever reached.

82. Turned someone down? Yes.

83. Cried when someone died? Of course.

84. Liked a friend that is the same sex? Mhm.

Do You Believe In

85. Yourself? I do now. I'm the only one I have, so I kind of have to start with myself haha.

86. Miracles? No.

87. Love at first sight? Not really.

88. Heaven? No.

89. Santa Claus? Well, no. Even as a kid I couldn't buy it. Why can he never show up, and why do I always need to be asleep for him to come over? it frustrated my 5 year old self more than it probably should've hahaha.

90. Kissing on the first date? I mean, sure, whatever. Do whatever feels natural.

91. Angels? Nope.

92. Sex before marriage? Yes.

93. Life on other planets? 100%.

94. Life after death? Reincarnation can be a cool concept but I personally think that when someone die, that is It for them. So no.

95. Only being with one person forever? It happens for some people, so yes. Doesn't mean I believe it applies to all.

Answer Truthfully

96. Is there one person you want to be with right now? No, I'm okay on my own and have been for a while now.

97. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfrend at one time? Never.

98. Do you believe it’s possible to remain faithful forever? Yes.

99. What’s the one thing you cannot live without? Phone.

100. What’s one secret you have that not many people know? It's not really a secret, but maybe the fact that I play table tennis and can play it pretty well? LOL the topic never comes up and there's almost always never a table tennis table anywhere, so I never get to talk about it or show it.

[ebdanon]

looove the tattoo allie, and congrats on coming out I missed it too <3

I'm back with a lore update, as my mother in law managed to have a whole monologue in front of me to tell me how she's a God-fearing woman, she prays morning and night, and the lord always protects her and makes her wishes come true and how she goes to church for every holiday and whatever else she does.

I'm not religious because it doesn't make sense to me. Also I prayed a lot as a kid to make the suffering for me ans my loved ones a lot smaller and it never really worked, so that really did me in. But her monologues did remind me of my father (who's quite religious) telling me that true Christians don't brag about what they do with their religion and I almost burst out laughing when my mother in law was telling me all that stuff when I remember that. As a kid I learned that your relationship between the God you believe in is between you and that God and it's bad if you brag about it. Although I'm pretty sure every religion teaches people to be humble.

Anyway, the second time she did a monologue, she managed to jump into talking about her own sister in law (who she thinks is a witch) and started talking shit about her. Now, I've heard a few stories and I know she's not a great woman, but a witch? C'mon, I used to be into eastern philosophy too, like she allegedly is (I'm 100% sure my mother in law went snooping in her home when she had a chance years ago and found a book on chakras and stuff like that which made her think so) but that's a far cry from any sort of witchcraft. She talked about the kind of photos her sister in law shares on social media and how it's inappropriate for her to wear revealing clothes when you're so old and overweight, and make suggestive poses. I think the woman is a little extra from what I saw (kinda reminds me of what millennial teenagers used to post on Facebook (like me) every time they went out) but I don't really care about the details of the photos or captions.

Anyway, my mother in law expressed the idea about my being a witch to her daughter a couple of weeks ago. My mother in law has a bit of a drinking problem, as I've mentioned. Two weeks ago she slipped and fell into the oven and broke the oven door. I've seen her slip and fall a couple of other times and it's always when she's piss drunk. My husband and I were out of the house when this happened, we came back about 30mins after it happened. She went to a doctor the next day, she had a mild concussion but no serious injuries. She went around the house with holy water spraying some in every room to make the house safer. Sure, whatever, I don't care. But she was barely standing she was so dizzy and started an argument with everyone when we all suggested we take her to a doctor immediately. Nope, she had to vacuum up the glass first, wash her hair in case there was more glass, call a few more people to chat, and did the holy water thing before going to bed.

She has explained her fall as "some supernatural force pushing and tripping her". When we came back after being out, you could smell the alcohol on her breath so I'm sure that was the reason. When she told her daughter (my sister in law that then tells my husband and I all the shitty things their parents say about us lmao) she insinuated that it was my fault because something is off about me. My mother in law also complained to my husband that her phone has been slow since the fall (the phone also fell), but she told her daughter that her phone is surely possessed by the devil. She also told everyone that it "feels heavier since then" which makes 0 sense but okay sure.

I know she's bothered by my very existence, it's been apparent for years but she never directly says it to me. Years ago my husband decided to bleach his hair for fun, we were together for about a year back then, and years later he told me that his mom thought I made him bleach it. Because of that I'm sure she thinks I made him get a tattoo too. Sometimes when she's screaming about whatever is bothering her at the moment, she'll slip and tell my husband how I'm fucking him over, but always when I'm not in the room. Jokes on her, she's so loud, I can still hear her even though I have hearing issues.

Okay let me end this here, next time I'm gonna tell you the crap I've heard her say about me and my family when she's on her various screaming rants (parents, grandparents, sister, cousins, aunts, etc, yes she has a whole list of people from my family that bother her lmao)

Have an amazing weekend <3

religious people who have to rub it in your face ab how religious or whatever they are (mainly christians) are so annoying. i grew up catholic so i ran into a lot of those people and your mother in law sounds like a nightmare. also the way you got blamed for his choices is crazy like doesnt bro know how to think for himself mom 😭

also…… ngl if you gotta complain about everyone else then i think its fair to look at the common denominator but your mother in law doesnt seem like the type for self reflection despite that being pretty important in christianity (unless im wrong about other denominations bc im speaking from catholic experience)

also thank ya darling :) i think it turned out really nice im very pleased with it. have a good weekend lovely 🫶

[innerdreamercollective]

HEARTBREAKER HANDOFF BY LEX MARTIN

Release Date: March 8th

Genre/Tropes: Sports Romance / Baby Isn't His (But no cheating) / Football player/cheerleader / Forbidden Romance / Coach’s daughter / He falls first / Fake Dating / Small Town / Slow Burn But Steamy

Get ready to dive into the steamy world of forbidden romance with Heartbreaker Handoff by Lex Martin!

Follow cheerleader-turned-mom-to-be as she navigates fake relationships, small-town drama, and undeniable chemistry with the bad boy football player. Will they make it work or get tangled in their own game? Find out now!

Grab your copy TODAY!

Ebook https://geni.us/HeartbreakerHandoff

Paperback https://www.amazon.com/dp/1950554163?

Add to Goodreads:

Blurb:

Billy’s not my baby daddy, but he doesn’t mind pretending to be…

I’m a Division 1 cheerleader with hopes of becoming a sports broadcaster. None of my plans for college include getting knocked up by a cheating ex who just got engaged to another girl.

When my father finds out I’m pregnant, he goes ballistic. That’s when my BFF, bad boy Billy Babcock, comes to my rescue and agrees to “take responsibility.”

Billy and I solidify our contract on a napkin—he’ll pretend to be my baby’s father, and I’ll help him clean up his image. The only problem is my father, the football coach, hates Billy. He warned me off dating players a long time ago, and he thinks Billy’s the biggest player out there.

Now that we’re in a “relationship,” Billy thinks we should spend some quality naked time together, but I’m worried about crossing that line. Because athletic guys with big muscles, intricate tattoos, and sexy smirks are my biggest weakness, and Billy ticks off all those boxes.

Can my football player “boyfriend” walk the straight and narrow for me?

Or did I just get handed off from one heartbreaker to another?

Heartbreaker Handoff is an angsty, friends-to-lovers, forbidden romance featuring a sassy cheerleader, who’s about to be a single mother, and a criminally charming football player determined to prove he’s the man for her, one sizzling kiss at a time. Heartbreaker Handoff is a dual POV standalone in the USA Today-bestselling series Varsity Dads.

About the Author:

Lex Martin is the USA Today bestselling author of Varsity Dads, Texas Nights, and the Dearest series. She writes contemporary romance novels, the steamy kind she hopes readers love but her parents avoid. A former high school English teacher and freelance journalist who’s lived all over the country, she currently resides in her hometown of San Antonio with her husband, twin daughters, a bunny, and a rambunctious Shih Tzu.

Connect with Lex:

Website: https://www.lexmartinwrites.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AuthorLexMartin

Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/336647169822184/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/authorlexmartin 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/authorlexmartin/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@authorlexmartin

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7792877.Lex_Martin

Bookbub: https://www.bookbub.com/authors/lex-martin

Amazon: https://amzn.to/2Yd9PhG

Newsletter Signup: http://bit.ly/3XxIW5d 

[rj-drive-in]

Night Stalking Department:

Even if you're loaded for bear, you can still get bit by a snake.

CROSS THE VAMPIRE HUNTER © 2023 by Rick Hutchins

Nobody believed him, but Carlos knew that his mother had been killed by a vampire. She had been found with bite marks in her jugular that matched human incisors and her body was depleted of blood, not a drop of which was found in the vicinity of the murder scene. Or anywhere else. You didn’t have to be a rocket scientist to figure out that scenario.

But the police weren’t buying it. At least not publicly.

“This is no movie, kid,” one of the cops told him. “Our forensics guys will find out who did this to your mom.”

And they did try, Carlos had no doubt of that, but the investigation went nowhere fast. There was literally no forensic evidence to investigate. No fingerprints, no extraneous hairs or skin or body fluid that did not belong to either his mother or old Mrs Kowalski. No fibers of clothing or footprints that could not be accounted for. There was not a single molecule of evidence that a third person had been in the house.

His mother had worked as a visiting nurse and old Mrs Kowalski was one of her patients, a blind recluse suffering from anemia. She went to the elderly woman’s house every Thursday. But one Thursday she hadn’t come home and Carlos went over to discover his mother dead and Mrs Kowalski nowhere to be found.

Carlos started to wonder about the anemia. Maybe the vampire was someone known to the old lady, maybe an abusive relative or neighbor who fed on her regularly. Maybe his mother had just shown up at the wrong place and time. He mentioned that to the police and they took note, promising to consider all the angles.

Three years later, not an inch of progress had been made.

So Carlos decided he would track this vampire down and kill it himself.

First, he hit the Internet and researched everything he could find on reports of real-life vampirism. There were a lot and he quickly learned to tell the batshit crazy ravings of maniacs from the accounts that might be considered credible. He created a spreadsheet and mapped out all the reports of vampire cults, sightings and attacks, and unsolved murders that matched the circumstances of his mother’s death. He subscribed to blogs on the occult and Fortean phenomena and joined a rather exclusive Facebook group dedicated to the investigation of vampires (his status as the relative of a vampire victim gained him entry there).

This, in turn, led to an invitation to a very secretive forum hidden on the dark web, a watering hole for hard-core investigators of the occult.

In this way, he was able to connect with other people around the country and the world who had amassed reams of data on genuine vampires. Many of them also knew someone who had died as his mother had.

At the same time, he prepared himself for the inevitable battle with the creature of the night itself. All that was really known of vampires, aside from their need to drink blood, was that that they were immortal and far stronger than ordinary humans. There was much debate about other aspects of the legends and folklore. Carlos didn’t know what to believe, but he had to be prepared for not just super strength, but possibly hypnotic powers, and the ability to change into a bat or mist, as crazy as that seemed.

So, when he was not engaged in research, he was training himself in the martial arts. Karate, Kung Fu, Jiu Jitsu, Tae Kwan Do. He bought a set of custom-made wooden knives and trained in combat and throwing. He purchased a Saturday Night Special and, through his online contacts, found a source for silver bullets. And an unemployed, but ordained, priest over in Waltham who was sympathetic to the cause provided him with a supply of holy water.

And then there were the tattoos.

A large crucifix across his chest and abdomen, with a smaller one on his back. Crosses down his muscular arms and across his knuckles and circling his neck. Another crucifix across his shaved head. No vampire could approach him from any direction, from any angle, without being confronted by a cross. The very sight of him would render the creature paralyzed, and helpless to defend itself.

His friends stopped calling him Carlos and started calling him Cross. Before long he started to think of himself as Cross.

Meanwhile, his investigations were bearing fruit. He learned of the unsolved killing of a home health care aide in upstate New York, just about a hundred miles west of him, where the MO exactly matched his mother’s murder, right down to the disappearance of the patient. It had taken place just a couple of months after his mother died. Then a couple of months after that, there was an identical killing in western Pennsylvania. A trail emerged. Ohio, Indiana, Illinois. The killer was headed west, circling the Great Lakes.

He posted his findings on the forum and was rewarded with more data. Two more killings that fit the pattern in Wisconsin and Iowa.

Then came his big break. A private message from an anonymous user on the dark web forum arrived that contained an address a few miles outside of Lakeville, Minnesota. He left immediately. It only took eight hours to get a flight from Logan to Minneapolis-St. Paul and a rental car south to Lakeville. Google Earth gave him the lay of the land, and he parked the car on the shoulder of a back road, setting off on a half-hour hike through the woods to the address, as the sun dipped toward the horizon.

He wore Army fatigues and combat boots, and carried his full arsenal of wooden knives, and his Saturday Night Special, fully loaded with silver bullets. Hanging from his belt was a canteen full of holy water. In his shirt pocket was a pair of black Ray Bans with polarized lenses that he hoped would be proof against a vampire’s hypnotic stare and in his left hand he carried a Navy surplus 12000 lumen flashlight with fresh batteries.

The man called Cross was loaded for bear and did not intend to go home without justice for his mother and Mrs Kowalski and all the others.

When he got near the house in the twilight, he hunkered down just inside the tree line to look the place over before going in. It was an old, dark house, quiet as the grave, fallen into disrepair, its windows boarded up to keep out the slightest ray of sunshine. Just what he’d expect of a vampire’s lair. All his instincts told him that he was in the right place.

Cross stepped out of the woods and crossed the weed-choked lawn to the front porch. He donned his black Ray Bans and stripped off his shirt, exposing not only his rippling muscles but the cavalcade of crosses and crucifixes that gave him his name. With his knives in his belt, his gun in his right hand, and his flashlight in his left, he stepped up to the front door and took a deep breath. Then, with a mighty cry, he kicked down the door and stepped inside, turning on the flashlight and lighting the place up like opening night at Fenway Park.

Five minutes later, he was dead. Mrs Kowalski was, after all, quite blind.

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #170

Give us a lyric from a song you’ve recently listend to: I'm listening to "Slum Planet" by 3TEETH right now and the lyric just said was "no one wins in this human race."

Why did you cry the last time you did? I learned about diabetic comas and started fearing that one day it'll happen to Mom while she's asleep with how violently her blood sugar plummets. My anxiety was so fucking bad that night, I had so much trouble falling asleep.

Have you donated blood in the last 2 years? No, but I actually plan on doing it with Girt this Sunday, it completely depends on what my blood pressure is at the time of the appointment; it's almost always alarmingly low EVERY time I get it checked, like it's just normal for me (partially because of a med), so there is a very real chance of me being turned down. But I'm still going with him regardless though, he loves when he gets the chance to do it (drives are coincidentally almost always on work days for him lol) and I fucking love that.

What is your relationship with the last person to comment you? Like, on a social media? Facebook is telling me Ashley, my boyfriend's sister.

Who was the last person to sit on your bed? Me, I still do certain physical therapy exercises lying and sitting on it.

Do you have a favorite flower? Orchids, pink tulips (I don't really care about non-pink ones that much), dahlias, hydrangeas, roses, etc. I just adore flowers.

Would you rather be stuck on a desert island with your ex or a python? HA give me the fucking python, at least the snake won't make me feel like literal trash. Besides, a python is not going to be able to eat me and with that fact it'd have no interest in bothering me, and I'd leave it alone too. Don't villainize snakes.

Name three objects within your reach? My water bottle, planner, and Girt's work schedule for like an entire year lmao. He gave it to me for the convenience of planning hanging out days and I think he also knows I just like knowing where he is, especially if my anxiety is high and I can't immediately reach him.

Would you get a shamrock tattooed to your forehead for $5,000? Gah, that money is FUCKING TEMPTING, but I just couldn't.

Where was the last place you went that was more than an hour away? Why were you going there? A city two hours away that is where Girt's grandmother is at a nursing home. We were celebrating her birthday; that day wasn't her actual birthday, but it's a day that worked for the family to get together. It meant a lot to be there, because odds are it was her last.

Who was the last person to tell you you looked nice? Girt, I think?

Do you know a schizophrenic person? Girt's mother, and I know of my schizophrenic half-sister.

Name the last 3 people you kissed and list one nice thing about each one. Girt is very polite, Sara was very creative, and Tyler, uh... he was sweet?

Are you friends with a Conner? No, I don't even know one.

What is the last thing you spoke to your father about? He sent me a picture of his cat Louie chilling with a deer in he and his wife's backyard. I'm against letting your cat free-roam outdoors, but regardless it was very cute and I said so. He was just sitting chilling while the deer grazed.

Ever suffered from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder? I literally have it, yeah.

During which year of your life were you the most unhappy? I genuinely don't think any hell a god could make could be worse than what 2016 was for me. Every waking moment I wanted to be dead, and when I slept my dreams were always the same: extremely painful and focused on Jason and how we'd never be what we were again.

Have you ever seen a bluejay in person? Yes, I love them. I used to collect bluejay feathers while I dated Jason actually, because his nickname from his dad was always "J Bird," and I called him that sometimes too.

Who is the most energetic and happy person you know of? My nephew Ryder.

Who makes you smile the most often? Girt.

Do you remember the first person you felt sexually attracted to? In a completely serious context, Jason.

Of all of your friends’ significant others, who do you get along with best? And least? I don't really know my friends' s/os, at least not on a personal level.

Have you ever had a platonic friend that everyone insisted you should be in a relationship with? YUP, GIRT. Finally happened lmao, bomb-ass decision.

Who do you think is the most attractive actor? Probably Jason Momoa lmao, or Johnny Depp.

Have you ever been caught doing something REAL embarrassing by your parents? LOL SURE HAVE AND I WANTED TO PASS AWAY

Do you have any of your neighbors as friends on Facebook? No.

You can only listen to 1 band for the rest of your life, who do you pick? so like...... Rammstein, surprise lmfao

When was the last time you felt like your heart was actually breaking? Many months ago when I was pretty convinced Girt was going to leave and I was going to relive the Jason breakup, just with him. I was fucking hysterical, this guy had to hold me as I probably broke his eardrums scream-crying for like, 15 full minutes. The feeling I had in my chest was more awful than I could ever put into words.

Who was the last person you cried in front of? Probably Mom?

Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? Girt.

Have you ever said anything to the last person you kissed that you regret? Yes, in a couple instances where I was mad.

Do you know anyone who has fought in a war? Jason's dad was in the Navy, but idk if he was ever in a combat situation. I know Girt's dad fought in Operation Desert Storm.

Name ONE good memory about your last ex? I very much felt like I could be 200% myself around her.

Do you live near any large rivers or lakes? Yeah, the Tar River is really long, and I live in an area where you regularly cross smaller bridges over it.

Would it annoy you if a stranger called you "sweetie?" This very much depends. I'd say generally no, I tend to like terms of endearment, but if it's some creepy guy that seems very suspect, I'd be uncomfortable.

What's the worst thing you've gone through in the past year? Letting go of and healing from an extremely rotten friendship. Deciding enough was enough with Sara was so fucking not an easy decision, it was fucking excruciating and involved so much hurt, and I regularly questioned if I was a horrible person.

What's the next friend or family birthday coming up? Will you buy them a present? Literally tomorrow is my sister Ashley's 30th, and no, but only because I don't have a source of income. I can't get anything for family and it fucking sucks.

How many beds are in your home? Two in the traditional sense, however we do have a couch that can fold out into a bed. Not a very comfortable one, but it's a bed.

Do you wear face masks in public? I no longer do, not because I don't believe in the effectiveness of masks (because they fucking are effective), but because I think like most people, I've just given up on the concept of us ever getting Covid under control; it's going to be in the human population for probably as long as we live now. A new type of flu, basically. I would wear a mask though if I was sick with Covid-esque symptoms, that's just basic consideration for other humans.

Have you ever gotten back together with an ex? Only Girt; the first time we dated briefly at the end of 2017 I just wasn't ready to be with a man again. I had walls that weren't coming down.

What month of the year was your mother born? August.

Who do you feel most beautiful around? My mom.

Have you ever had a friend that got a bf/gf, and then completely ignored you? Yes, what a coincidence, I was thinking of her last night. We were online friends with a long, very tight friendship, but one day her accounts that I knew of were just gone, and this was very near the time she started dating some guy.

Who is the smartest person you know? Girt.

If your friend asked you to hold their drugs, would you? Hell no.

The last two people you kissed, are they virgins? Girt's not, Sara was when I knew her, no clue about now.

How did you and your significant other celebrate your last anniversary? We just hung out at my house.

Do you know anyone who owns their own business? Yes, more than one person.

What was the last thing that changed your life completely? Going to physical therapy. I am so fucking happy with all the progress that is still happening, standing is by now generally only uncomfortable versus actually painful. I'm standing more in real-life situations that prove to me how much better my legs have gotten.

What do you normally drink when eating at a fast food restaurant? Usually either Mountain Dew or Coke.

What was the last thing you saw that made you smile? A really cute picture of two of my nieces; Aubree was being an adorable big sister.

Who was the last person you took a photograph with? My niece and sisters.

Did you like the show Invader Zim? Surprisingly I never really watched it, I just thought Gir was cute.

What’s the scariest book you’ve ever read? I've never been scared by a book.

What does your best friend love that you hate? Extremely hard games that generally require hours and hours of failing regularly to get good at it, nameably FromSoft games; I'm quite sure Girt's platinumed/100%ed all of them lmao, meanwhile I couldn't even get to the FIRST BOSS of Bloodborne myself haha, I suck at those games SOOOOOOOOOOO bad. My head nearly exploded when I tried Dark Souls, like I quit pretty damn fast because once a game reaches a certain level of difficulty for me, shit's not fun anymore. Meanwhile Girt's hardheaded as HELL and really gets satisfaction out of figuring out challenges, so FromSoft makes some stuff he really enjoys. What sucks is I LOVE watching the games be played, like Elden Ring is one of the greatest video games ever made in all of history imo, I just don't have the patience for those of its sort as a player. Video games are Girt's "thing" though that he's just super fucking good at.

How well do you know the people you live with? I know my mom very well, and we've been closer than ever lately. I feel our already-strong bond has strengthened quite a bit just from sitting out in the living room with her during dinner more often. She confides in me with a lot of things and has told me how much she appreciates me just listening.

When was the last time you had a conversation with an ex? A few weeks ago with Juan, if you even wanna count him as an ex when we dated for less than a day.

Ever cried while you were on the phone with the last person you kissed? No, we basically never call each other. He's mentioned wanting to but knows I hate phone calls and I'm like you're obviously an exception dude but yeah we don't really talk-talk via the phone.

Have you ever bought a YouTuber’s merch? I have two Cloak shirts, a brand owned by Markiplier and jacksepticeye, and one features the Randler and cockatrice used as symbols for Good Mythical Morning/Rhett & Link.

Do either of your parents have tattoos? No, but my mom wants one based around her kids and grandkids.

For your birthday do people buy you a cake or bake you one? Usually buy.

If your boy/girlfriend wanted to have a sex change, would you support them? Sure would, I'm pansexual anyway so it wouldn't remove my sexual feelings for that person. Like sure it'd obviously be a massive change, requiring adjustments like getting pronouns right, but he/she would have my full support if they felt a sex change would improve their happiness.

What do you think of cannibals? It's gross. I think eating your own species, at least for such developed animals like humans who have consciences that allow us to put meaning into BEING a human, is morally questionable.

[learningselflove]

My dogs give me purpose

I never understood the millennial dog-mom craze until I got my first puppy, Ginger. I loved animals but didn't understand how someone can love them like they love their own children. It's certainly not quite the same, but Ginger changed my life for the better.

Ginger was a mischievous puppy. She ate my future mother-in-law's nativity set, she would rip up corners of the carpet and she even ate her door frame at one point. Sometimes, I wanted to rip my hair out.

Fast forward five years and I have her tattooed on my body. She is a fantastic dog and I really don't want to have to live life without her. She is quirky. She's a cat trapped in a dog's body.

She's also taught me the purpose of a routine. She encourages me to go on long walks because it's not just for my health, it's for hers too. She makes me play with her even though I feel like laying out on the couch. She taught me a love I didn't know I was capable of.

Recently, I came across a Facebook post where I saw someone was giving up a dog. He was the same kind of dog as Ginger; A Shiba Inu. I wanted to get her a companion because she is alone while the both of us work all day. We took him home three weeks ago.

We named him Hiro (pronounced Hero). He is the perfect fit for our family. He is endlessly happy and so good about going out. He encourages Ginger to play more than she normally would. He adores her.

He's a rambunctious puppy. He's eaten his fair share of slippers and remote controls these past few weeks but I wouldn't trade him for the world. They both bring me plenty of joy and structure. It helps me stay on a schedule even when I don't want to do anything.

(Hiro on left, Ginger on right)

[waitingformyfavoritesongs]

23 April 2023 sSunday ☀️ 11:06 am pt

11:07 am pt

Q did point me in the direction of getting help for my learning disability. But I think 💭 she might have used it as confirmation that she could take advantage of me and gas ⛽️ light 💡 me more. Alike to Nick carter premeditated rape of an autistic 17 year old female Bcz incubus approved like he told garrido. 11:09 am pt same god. Talking to all 3. 11:10 am pt they have no shame. They justified it. Is that a “ki” Japanese character tattooed on Carter’s shoulder? Ki like keying a car 🚗? Keys 🔑 to life and death ☠️. Hades. Be hat i. 11:12 am pt time can never mend careless whispers of a “good” friend. There’s no comfort in the truth. Pain is all you’ll find. I’m never going to dance 💃🏻 again. 🎶🎼🎵🎤🎧🎸 11:13 am pt

11:36 am pt Instagram. Com/p/WXBue5HMXO/ Maru music? Ammar Malik 11:38 am pt

11:40 songs not music

12:29 pmpt my youngest sister blocked me from texting 💬 her. A lot of people spontaneously stopped messaging me on Facebook when I wrote to them in 2019. My aunt wouldn’t open a letter I wrote to convince her daughter in 2015 not to trust random people online Bcz of my experience with “Brendan” cramps 12:33 pm pt and my cousin didn’t open it either. She deleted it. My aunt seemed afraid 😱. Incubus did bad stuff to my aunt and her husband abandoned her in a time of need and he blamed her as if she did something to deserve what the incubus did to her. I don’t think 💭 she did anything wrong 😑 except marry him Bcz he’s a d*ck. She had 3 of his children 👶. And he made the children 👶 do a lot of labor. 12:37 pmpt there’s nothing wrong with them working a little, but he intentionally neglected them all when he neglected her. Left foot 🦶 bone 🦴 pain. All the children 👶 are very good I think 💭. He did not fix the air conditioning I think 💭 is what I heard. Right foot 🦶 arch pain 12:40 pmpt He’s now remarried and had more children 👶. 12:41 pmpt 12:42 pm pt I feel like I am at a dead ☠️ end. My sister won’t come to see us and she is still avoiding talking to me on my phone ☎️. 12:43 pmpt I have been abandoned like Uriah in battlefield. Incubus really did love 💗 king 🤴 David. Does not matter what he did as long as he loves incubus. 12:45 pmpt now my aunt has a nice house 🏠 Bcz my uncle is a jerk. 12:47 pm pt

12:48 pmpt incubus is an actor. If he did have phone ☎️ s*x with me he I guess was very detached and will do it with any one. It didn’t matter to him like it mattered to me in 2001, but it didn’t meet all my needs so since 2016? The romance and magic 🪄 of those times that I clinged to for years like gatsby died when I was confronted with his cruelty and selfish behavior (left hip bone 🦴 pain 12:54 pmpt) in 2016. When I watched the voice starting October 8? 2016 sometime after that the incubus said “I’m with Brendan.” To me he was saying Lean. On the voice people only knew of Brendan singing 🎵 true colors 🎧 song. Fletcher? Was it? 12:57 pmpt

1:06 pmpt everyone is ignoring me. Leaving me to die. 1:07 pm pt. I think 💭 incubus doesn’t need me and wants me to die. He wants me to commit suicide. He toyed 🧸 with me to make me neglect myself. Bcz my sister won’t talk to me I felt that I have to commit suicide. 1:10 pm pt (left heel left hip joint pain 1:11 pmpt. I only have mom and she is not great. Complained about health 😞. 1:12 pmpt jordi died. What does that mean for me? 1:13 pmpt he’s really into all the younger women for himself. It’s no joke or lie. 1:14 pmpt

1:19 pmpt incubus burned scorched right lower side. Hurts. Probably meant to kill me with starvation. Been doing it for many months, since last year. 1:21 pmpt. He put me in this weird position to be rejected 🙅‍♀️. Scott did not even express interest in having children 👶 at all to me. But he is probably doing very well. Dating teens. 1:23 pmpt left ankle pain. I feel now literally incubus has no intention to be kind to me ever. He hurt me first. 1:24 pmpt

2 pmpt my anus area was burned with acid very harshly. I found out it is completely bloody 🩸. It is as bad as it felt. 2:01 pmpt wow. I’m in shock. I should not be but I am. Denial denial denial all the time. I try not to be. Don’t worry ammar, it seems you were far more valuable to incubus than I am Bcz he needs someone to kill a lot of people for him. I was so naïve. That we could bring down the population in a peaceful way. Like March madness matches. Only one kid per family. But I guess some people really are better than others? Should we kill off all the men except for the 100 💯 sexiest alive? And all take turns with them? So the population starts looking homogeneous? We can all start to look 👀 alike like agent smith? In the matrix? We can all be agent smith in the future!? 2:07 pmpt then incubus woul have tattoo everyone on the face Bcz we all start to look 👀 alike. 2:08 pmpt maybe then he will get tired of (acid throat pain 2:08 pmpt) seeing the same face (acid throat pain 2:08 pmpt) and start changing our faces Bcz he misses the old varied faces. 2:09 pmpt

2:11 pmpt on tv 📺 maybe 2 weeks ago it said 1.2 million women go into menopause I forgot how often , maybe annually? 2:12 pmpt what’s accurate? Sounds like a lot of women. 2:12 pmpt chest pain 2:13 pmpt. Why was I born? To be unhappy ? I was born to be unloved and in desolation. Born to be a sacrifice to appease an evil 🦹‍♂️ river god of s*x? Dugard said she was made to believe that she was a sacrifice that saved all the other little girls. That she was a hero. What happened to her I consider bad. But god wants me to think it’s good. I can feel that. 2:16 pmpt if dugard knew everyone in the world 🌎 saw a reality knew a reality she didn’t know existed and in that reality everyone judged her to be a villain 🦹‍♀️ so they justified what happened to her so they can go on with their lives not caring about her, how would that shatter her? That people have justified her rape? Including god? Incubus? To everyone else behind her back only to be revealed during the apocalypse? 2:18 pmpt awful. Sh*tty. Undeserving. 2:28 pmpt 2:19 pmpt neck pain sharp

2:47 pmpt I have been left alone to figure out that that utopia is not doable? Even if it involves probably being close to what it is now only a limit placed on family/offspring count. 2:48 pmpt

2:49 pmpt if there’s no crime and illness then we would have more time for dating and being sure? 2:50 pmpt

3:11 pmpt stinging hot acid pain right butt cheek. Left brow bone 🦴 pain again and again. Maybe it happened already???? Aagent smith. Matrix. 3:12 pmpt

5:22 pmpt my experience is that I can’t force anyone to do what they don’t want to. Women can’t have s*x w/ a man who doesn’t want to? Hypothesis. Can’t do it if p*nis is limp? I’ve seen a movie 🎥 wedding banquet? Gay man married straight woman. They got drunk 🥴 and they did it. How often does it happen tho? Acid brain 🧠 pain. But they got (acid brain 🧠 pain 5:28 pmpt😖😭😫😩) 5:29 pmpt

6:31 pmpt I think 🤔 all the symbolism attached to me means if you let me die you’re acknowledging you are corrupt and a rapist? Bcz I am categorically probably a sacrifice like Jon benet Ramsey and dugard? 6:33 pmpt. Any doctors 🥼 who let me die and anyone who set me up to die are linked to human trafficking Bcz “Brendan” wanted to buy me a plane ✈️ ticket 🎫 when I was 16 years old. If there’s a pattern of corruption in cops 👮‍♂️ in a bunch of areas, it’s more probable that it is all areas and Brendan lean is a lynchpin for all s*x trafficking of minors. But you all want to protect him over me, this will go on for another 2000 years. That’s what my death ☠️ means. Autocorrect: deal dear. 6:38 pmpt all EARTH 🌍 is agreed with my death ☠️. You will all suffer from my death ☠️ onward. That’s what that means. Odin ? Was that the Norse god who travels the skies 🌌 some thing called the hunt? Sounds scary. That’s Nick Carter’s son’s name. 6:40 pmpt

6:51 pmpt Asian women are highly s*xualizes and murdered? ABC article I tweeted about Georgia? (Acid brain 🧠 pain 6:52 pmpt) Sierra LaMar is half Japanese. The nbc news 📰 and cops 👮‍♂️ said it was a hoax when Sierra asked for help Bcz she was kidnapped. Those who covered up 🆙 are most likely doing it Bcz they are s*x human trafficking. They’re most likely involved with that and trying to cover up 🆙 by framing some one else. Oakland cops 👮‍♂️ was forcing prostitution of a 16 year old. 1207 <- Pearl Harbor Sierra LaMar’s beginning case numbers. Scott cano likes to have s*x w/ teens. 6:56 pmpt Courtney woods/wood in 2010/2011. 12/07 David Scott cano’s bday. Friends with cops 👮‍♂️. Even though they did not find her body they have him in prison for murder even though she was probably In Saratoga in a house 🏠 w/ a red door 🚪. She could still be alive. Me and Sierra LaMar have a lot of similarities. Brendan Lean was probably my neighbor since at least 2011. He was a landscaper. We don’t know what the cops 👮‍♂️ intentions were when they labeled it a hoax. Remember Georgia and Oakland. 7:01 pmpt and rapists justify. 7:02 pmpt

7:03 pmpt s*xuallized not s*xulizes.

7:55 pmpt 2017?2018? Incubus gave me a hard time about making decisions. I have to decide in the moment to commit to an action otherwise the opportunity is gone. I don’t know how true it is Bcz he’s always lying 🤥. But if it is, then there won’t be a second chance. It will be set in stone. You will be stuck. 7:57 pmpt 7:58 pmpt if he’s really ordering people around to rape people is that fascism? 7:58 pmpt. Slavery? Sold soul to the devil 👿? Is it a threat? Bcz I’m threatened all the time but I don’t have a choice but to take this. Young people don’t do much these days I guess? Onlyfans. Random little things for pr. Pornography? = onlyfans? I’ve only seen a little bit of one persons only fans and she was ranting and showing her boobs. About money 💰 I think 💭 I remember. 8:01 pmpt 8:02 pmpt

8:06 pmpt how unromantic to let me die. I guess love 💗 is dead 💀 in incubus. 8:06 pmpt love 💗 is dead ☠️ with rape? I need the definition of fascism again. 8:08 pmpt yeah it’s the same thing over again he claimed behati forced him to marry her and every time I think (acid pain brain 🧠 8:09 pmpdt ) I believe him or write ✍️ something or say it out loud he shows an intimate picture of the 2 of them. It’s very pavlovs dog 🐶 I guess. 8:11 pmpt. Yeah thanks 🙏. I don’t like his face anymore Bcz he looks like he’s plotting murder all the time. 8:12 pmpt. I saw 👀 a picture of him touching her boob. It’s what ever now. Romance is dead. No more love 💗 songs necessary in a purely rapist corrupt society. To fall in love 😻 with incubus is a death ☠️ sentence therefore to listen 👂 to his Siren song 🎶 would only let me down. Like Shannon Ruth. A FAN. Nick Carter justified rape with his ki? Japanese tattoo. Prejudged even though she may be gave him the benefit of the doubt? Tummy ache 😖😭 the biggest let down to a young fan. Someone so greedy. Taking whatever he wants when he wants without regard for her well being and feelings. 😖😭😫😩😞 8:18 pmpt biggest insult to all fans everywhere. 8:19 pmpt

8:33 pmpt katakana. Does anyone know when he got that tattoo? Shoulder. Ki. Looks young in the picture. 8:34 pmpt

8:37 pmpt started burning 🔥 my left thigh and did my butt for several days. Incubus if you cut my head you can stop 🛑 my suffering and have the whole skeleton at once. 😑😖😭🥵😤 8:39 pmpt stop 🛑 saying shawna like you’re happy about 🪚 sawing me. Sometimes it sounds like that when he sings sugar. Acid brain 🧠 pain it was going to happen anyway. I don’t like 👍 it! I don’t like you! Keep your hands 🙌 on behati’s boobs where I can see them. 8:42 pmpt I don’t care 🤷🏻‍♀️ why would I now? 8:42 pmpt I’m prediabetic Bcz of him. It kills romance for me. 8:43 pmpt

8:47 pmpt and he likes child 🧒 rape. Another red flag 🚩. 8:47 pmpt him and his family endorsed it. 8:48 pmpt Jon benet Ramsey, dugard, Elizabeth smart? Possibly Sierra LaMar, too. 8:49 pmpt you like a system and men like that? You let me die and it will speak about your character for eternity. 8:50 pmpt trials shouldn’t be postponed for carter. 8:50 pmpt

9:17 pmpt incubus burned my butt. It might be killing the bone 🦴 making it easier to chip away. Nick Carter’s tattoo. 9:19 pmpt unfortunately for me the butt bone 🦴 is probably not that thick. So he might actually be taking it completely away. Not a lovely thing to do. Raping is very predatory. Like a hunter. Narwhals and rabbits 🐇 do they only survive by magic 🪄? 9:21 pmpt 9:22 pmpt incubus faked me out with Brandon Boyd’s invisible man 👨 Instagram avatar? Icon? 9:23 pmpt. Incubus/god really advocates the raping of 11 year olds and younger Bcz they really are heinous. 9:24 pmpt. That’s what my death ☠️ symbolizes. The continuation of sacrifice ig children 👶 to men for s*xual predatory behavior. Alike to the sacrifice to a wicked demonic god of a river or ocean 🌊/sea. The siren 🚨 🧜‍♂️ 9:26

9:29 pmpt in a world 🌎 with billions of people rape should be outlawed. 9:30 🕤 a rapist system includes greed/selfishness, exhibiting the worst character traits of a human, landfills and wastefulness, organized crime, untrustworthy “professionals,” making for a weak and unpleasant unpeaceful economy. 9:32 pmpt (autocorrect: unpractical 9:33 pmpt = incubus says a world 🌎 w/o rape is unpractical I guess? I had a thought 💭 but I got cramps 😖😭 I don’t remember right foot 🦶 hot burned 9:35 pmpt) rape is unromantic cold 🥶 not humane. We should outlaw romance romantic songs and movies if we are going to allow rape to be normalized by incubus. 9:36 pmpt

9:42 pmpt the fish 🎣 at the bottom of the ocean 🌊 in (acid throat pain 9:43 pmpt) finding Nemo. Ladies ! Just keep swimming 🏊‍♀️!

9:56 pmpt I looked 👀 again at that new planet 🌎 if I found the same one ☝️ then it is 100 light 💡 years away. That doesn’t sound good to me. I jumped to conclusions Bcz of that d*mm anime. And incubus toying with me. 9:58 pmpt I hope there’s another one closer (autocorrect: nothing 9:58 pmpt )

10:10 pmpt maybe 100 light 💡 years is wrong ? Maybe it is closer? How do they see 100 light 💡 years away? If it takes 100 years to see the light how do you see something that is probably only reflecting light 💡 half the time? Shouldn’t you only see light Not actual objects? I don’t get it . Am I wishful thinking 💭 I probably am. Unless they have internet down there 100 light years away to transmit an internet signal through relays of satellites 🛰 trying to figure out what sounds logical w/o knowing much. Socratic method. 10:14 pmpt

10:16 pmpt yup I recalled the TESS. Testing memory and trying to figure it out. 10:17 pmpt

10:22 pmpt it really is far then. Had too much hope for nothing. 10:24 pmpt . I wish incubus will cut my head off then. 10:25 pmpt this life is too tortured to be worth living. 10:25 pmpt would need a very fast plane ✈️/shuttle with a worm hole 🕳. 10:26 pmpt I don’t trust anyone who let me suffer. Especially during covid. 10:27 pmpt right shin pain. 10:28 pmpt

10:38 pmpt I’m stupid. 10:39 pmpt incubus cut off my head now! Please stop 🛑 hurting me. Cut my head please. No one’s doing anything about Sierra LaMar and composting at the hotel. I need another bin. 10:41 pmpt hot sting left upper thigh hip 😖😭😫🥵

11:10 pmpt this probably won’t help me at all but when I was a baby 👶 I lived in me looking park. Stereo hearts 💕 connection? 11:11 pmpt he burned my hip joints it feels acidic Bcz it stings with how hot it is. 11:12 pmpt this isn’t fair! Cramps.

Zzz 11:17 pmpt I did not want to be alone! You keep taking away my feelings! Making me confused! How dare you say things as if I didn’t want MORE! Genuine feelings and love 💗! (Pain right foot 🦶 11:19 pmpt)(acid brain 🧠 pain right foot 🦶 bottom abrasive pain 11:20 pmpt) I was afraid 😱 to meet more people and try again. I wanted the search 🔦 to be (<-what’s w/this ?. I put ! 11:33 pmpt) I wanted to find someone already. 11:21 pmpt why do I get the worst treatment all the time! 11:23 pmpt. I HATE YOU! 11:23 pmpt

11:28 pmpt every guy seems to try to manipulate me into having s*x too early and then gas ⛽️ light 💡 me about their intentions. They’re lucky 🍀 I tolerated them at all. Trying to give them a chance even when I don’t feel 100% like it. Unfortunately I should have listened to those feelings more probably and stop 🛑 trying to get to know them and keep them interested (left eye 👁 abrasive pain 11:31 pmpt) with out giving into s*x. But I failed! Over and over again. Speak 🗣 for yourself if you want to talk about people who pretend to Love 💗 people. Jordi is dead ☠️!

11:34 pmpt

11:36 pmpt cut my head off and leave me alone incubus. 12:56 am pt unfortunately Adam Noah Levine has prematurely judged me when I was a kid 👧 and he was probably 15 years old when I was 9 years old. I shared my colored pencils ✏️ and markers with the whole class when I was 7 years old. He looked over there or claimed it as something that I should have no credit claiming. He is prejudiced against me. He refuses to acknowledge when I wanted to feel something real even though I had too much fear to be myself completely. I grew up 🆙 learning to watch what I say a lot Bcz my mom was always annoyed with me. I had to learn to walk on egg 🥚 shells . He still holds it against me for not completely being myself. He splashed more acid in my brain 🧠 while I tried to sleep 😴. Unfortunately for us he is hypocritical and overly critical. Without understanding. Without sympathy 💐 or empathy. It is alarming and overwhelming that we have thus type of person to deal with having the power to destroy us yet claim to have righteous judgment. 1:03 am pt

1:04 am pt in 2010 I had the goal 🥅 to change myself to be more honest natural and in a good mood si that I might be more naturally good to people Bcz I usually felt I couldn’t talk to anyone unless I could present myself in a happy state of mind. 1:07 am pt I believe I already wrote all this in tumblr and that I did reach my goal 🥅 but incubus took it away. 1:07 am pt 1:08 am pt

1:08 I don’t recall telling Scott my feelings except when I said we should not have s*x and that I liked josh b4 he bit me. 1:09 am pt I think 💭 he didn’t really care to really hear 👂 my feelings and he was too busy trying to set me up 🆙 to fall and look 👀 bad. 1:10 am pt he asked me once if I liked him but he didn’t seem to care again. I thought 💭 I remembered (tummy ache hot 😖😭1:11 am pt) looking down feeling shame that I could not say yes. But he didn’t really respond to my absence of a verbal answer. He seems to like to ask things (right ankle pain 1:13 am pt) but then it seemed like only for show. Bcz he didn’t allow me to verbally decline kissing 😽 him. He didn’t respect me verbally declining s*x. When he asked about the condom I laid there with my eyes 👀 closed trying to figure out what to say and to have the strength to say. I think 💭 I might have been paralyzed? In a way from being able to respond. He waited for maybe 45 seconds? And proceeded to do what he wanted with me without respect. No condom. I had talked to a doctor 👩‍⚕️ after it happened and the doctor believed he got the cat 🐈 hair on it intentionally (pain bottoms of feet 🦶 1:18 am pt). He asks for show. But doesn’t care what you answer. He will get what he wants from me regardless of what I want or need. 1:19 am pt vag pain left foot 🦶 pain 1:20 am pt

1:23 am pt I started thinking 💭 that whoever touched me with my eyes 👀 closed must have been a woman 👩🏼. 1:24 am pt

1:31 am ptmouth acid pain right shin bone 🦴 acid 1:31 am pt he only had one condom left and he got cat 🐱 hair on it from the bed 🛌. 1:33 am pt

1:34 am pt I think 💭 I might have saw the condom box 📦 but did not commit it to memory. Maybe 🤔 he used all the condoms with other girls b4 me? 😑😩🥵😤 1:35 am pt

1:50 am pt I guess some people think 💭 I’m a b*txh. I ve been in pain all my life. You wouldn’t understand if you were allowed to grow to your natural height. I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ how tall you are but I’m under 5’2” like Sierra LaMar and the similarities don’t stop 🛑 there. One of my parents was 5’7” I think 💭. 1:53 am pt. Every time I got sick 🤒 I always hoped it would be the last time Bcz it was agony. 1:54 am pt my uncle had money 💰. I asked my mom to confirm. They gave us money 💰 for the pizza 🍕 but yes I was a little selfish. I grew up being very thin and short. My dad was a teacher 👨🏻‍🏫 and complained about his work environment and he was very frugal. He composted. He took out his own trash 🗑. The students on campus threatened his life pushing him into the rails but he had to follow specific rules to not get in trouble for defending himself. Security guards walked the campus Bcz students set trash cans 🗑 on fire 🔥. If I looked unhappy with my resting face I got lectured. 1:59 am pt

2:21 am pt when I had my first permanent job I only took vacations to see my sister and when my eczema got bad. It was decided I was to be a sacrifice probably b4 my cousin Jeremy was conceived. Being a sacrifice included painful (hot right cheek pain 2:24 am pt) 3 seasons of running sports when I got shin splints but kept going didn’t quit. I had to rest and ice 🧊, with tall buckets 🪣 of ice water 💦 and pain medication 💊. I dropped chemistry ⚛️ Bcz I was burned out from biology 🧬 summer school 🏫 Bcz I almost failed the second semester being online too much with Nick and “Brendan”.. I think 💭 I got a little obsessed about “Brendan.” I will remind you I did graffiti is art 🖼 for my thesis for senior project of high school 🏫 Bcz I guess I was obsessed a little? (Acid throat pain 2:30 🕝 am pt) I don’t know why I am a b*tch. Maybe Bcz my mom was annoyed with me since I was 4 years old. I used to remember her tone when she told me to clean up my toys 🧸 when I was 4 years old when she came home 🏠 from work and it was dark. 2:31 am pt my sister went off to Pratt after buying a new dx model car 🚗. Mom helped her with the loans and I had stayed at community college for 4 years? And drove a very old cheaper car 🚗. My mom didn’t pay very much for my community college I did federal work study 📚 and grants. I usually tried not to ask for a lot. But my sister did all these things and my mom helped her with the loans. My uncle my cousin’s father worked in the tech industry and said his hands 🙌 are like a surgeons hands 🙌 and claimed he helped invent the gyroscope? For a computer 👨‍💻? 2:35 am pt his father was an inventor, too and had a walnut farm in Missouri. When my aunt worked it’s a pharmacist her boss gave her some gold jewelry as goodby presents. She worked for an old rich man in Saratoga for years. I had a lot of times being sick and eczema problems and other pains like from braces and being called anorexic looking. I once scratched myself in my sleep 😴 and woke up 🆙 with very bloody sheets. I had dark circles under my eyes 👀 which my mom said to sleep more. I was punched in the head very hard 3? Times in a row and my vision blacked out and I became a little autistic maybe? 2:40 and I hit my head a lot very hard on hard surfaces. And I had memory issues. Probably Bcz of it. No one cared that all this was happening to me. I hit my head or was punched and no one did anything for me everytime. 2:41 am pt I didn’t feel normal. I had to deal with everything including my mom getting a hemorrhages cerebral aneurysm when I was a senior. She had high blood pressure. My dad was old and unhappy. My sister although had better health and circumstances than me she blamed me for being weird that I was causing her social problems? She couldn’t take me anywhere. She didn’t like the way I treated a friend of her even though he was a guy and it was my first time meeting him. She wrote something like she didn’t like being protected? Some thing like that in a journal. She didn’t need that from me. But I guess I was weird the way I did it. Bcz I was damaged in the brain 🧠. But no one cared. So if I am scared to spend more money 💰 on someone else when I’m already helping my mom and I have to deal with my fears like my brain 🧠 when no one else would help me since I was a kid then oh well it’s my problem for being a b*tch. 2:47 am pt I’m the problem it’s always me. I forced myself to finish UCB even though my eczema got very bad and teachers and nurses looked at my hands and told me I should drop school Bcz of it. (Acid throat pain 2:48 am pt)

[star-crossed-lizards]

My mimi loves springing things on me such as a lunch with my dad and my half brother (who was given up for adoption bc my dad had him by cheating on my mom and his mom was an addict and couldn’t take care of him) that I didn’t know about until one time when I was 17 I saw a tattoo on my dads arm w my name my brothers name and a third name and I was like “who’s the third name” and I’ve never met him before so naturally mimi is gonna ask me the day before if I want to come eat lunch w them ??? After my dad just posted a pic of himself flipping off his brothers bloated corpse to Facebook????? I dunno about all that

[noriakihunny]

some random ass (+ modern day) aot boy headcanons

including: zeke, erwin, levi, eren & armin

trigger warnings: some NSFW+ elements

zeke

is tiktok famous solely for being hot

specifically known on tiktok as the "hot guy who can cook but cooks sexually" i.e. he's the kind to grope a steak or stick his finger in a cantaloupe that's cut open in half like a pus-

verified on tinder

pulls matches by having his dog with him as his main profile photo

has airplane emojis in his bio which shows how much he travels

"hey i'm only here for a few days, wanna meet up?"

is the kind who always dresses like a car salesman no matter what the occasion

the kind to document his meal prep for the week on IG like ok we get it zeke you have no issue eating chicken and broccoli for 7 days straight

he incorporates protein powder into literally everything

he got BANNED from planet fitness since he triggered the lunk alarm WAY TOO MANY TIMES

he smells clean, like soapy. dude is always working out so he's always taking showers

hate to admit it but he is naturally a hot person - ie. he has slept for 10 hours - literally has woken up from hibernation and still manages to look hot

one of those hot middle aged bearded guys who practically lives at disneyland - like "i have a fastpass" lookin ass "i make sure to go at least twice a year"

90% of his instagram feed are gym selfies #progress #grind

but he makes a sweet husband. will serve you breakfast in bed with a "kiss the cook" apron (he is also completely butt ass naked under said apron)

has a thigh tattoo. of what? idk - he just has one. probably a dagger or a snake

he drives a goddamn tesla

but drives way too damn fast. he has like 6 speeding tickets

he wears crocs and wears them well

the charms on his crocs? two dogs, the eggplant emoji, the letter "z" and a pizza

he is WAYYYYY too into christmas

like zeke it's almost february please take down the tree

lowkey loves rupaul's drag race

oh god you know what - he is an influencer

use my code "BEAST" at checkout for 10% off your order with HelloFresh

erwin

the kid who had a massive glow up like he was bullied in middle school and grew up to be super hot, still with them big ass brows

he shops at express. even worked there at some point because he shops there so much he just wanted the discount

also dresses like a car salesman

also also also dresses like your typical dad with a golf shirt, khakis and boat shoes

loves starbucks

black coffee like straight up BLACK COFFEE no sugar no cream or anything

he is also the hot guy at starbucks who is on their mac laptop. he will literally stay there for like 6 hours to finish his work

the "posting a photo of me wearing a rolex holding my $9 cup of coffee in front of my bmw steering wheel" kind of flex

is only on facebook

he has an instagram account where he follows 0 people but has 26 followers. he created the account but never used it

he smells really good, like always

erwin's hand on your thigh when driving.

christian grey 2.0 like my boy is a FREAK he will tie you up and dick you up and down diva

he's the popular guy in the neighborhood and constantly hosts barbecues and parties

big sports guy - LOVES FOOTBALL

hot dad energy. his son/daughter posts tiktoks of them together and majority of the comments are like "you need a step mom?"

also a soft dad. the kind of dad you can talk to about anything

bringing home your girlfriend/boyfriend to meet your parents for the first time? erwin will literally run a background check and interrogate your significant other to make sure they are good enough for you

if you show him something on your phone, he will put on his glasses, squint and hold the phone like a foot away from his face

"what is a .. meme?"

was given the highest credit limit ever at home depot

he really loves building shit

he drives two cars: his dilf-y BMW sportscar and the honda odyssey family minivan

you will occasionally find him arguing with the Alexa in the living room

enjoys adam sandler movies

DAD JOKES FOR FUCKING DAYS MY GOD

he invests in crypto and that nft bullshit

levi

he was a theater kid in high school

also played baseball

yea he got that dump truck, kim k could never

the super chill, yet quiet hot guy that everyone knew. he wasn't popular but he was friends with everyone

levi will be attending the when we were young festival

his photos have been used several times within the emo/scene community on myspace

goes to the mall to shop at only h&m and hot topic. he also loves vans

dresses REALLY hot; he has an all black wardrobe

he also wears a lot of rings jalkdfjalkfdjakl

even though he may look small he can deadlift around 330 lbs

and yes zeke is S H A K I N G because as fit as he may be, he could NEVER

only wears Tom Ford perfume

forever young. middle aged and he still gets carded at 7-eleven when buying beer

drives a motorcycle

he has an iphone 8

also loves coffee

his order: grande iced latte with a splash of cream and sugar free vanilla

but still prefers tea above the rest. they know him at the teavana store

he doesn't understand the concept of almond milk or oat milk

he still hasn't downloaded tiktok

he doesn't even have facebook actually

he's only on IG

soft skin.

yes he has a skin routine; lives by his moisturizer

the only place he shops for food is at trader joes

he loves those soup dumplings

he does radiate minimal karen energy jfc i can see him calling for the manager but, for the greater good!!11!11 ie. the employees were being dicks/not doing their job

he is a plant guy. his one bed studio apartment is just decorated with plants

horror movie buff

he's actually a hopeless romantic

lowkey watches lifetime movies

is a big fan of robert pattinson batman

i can see him being a big nicki minaj fan like-

addison rae follows him on IG

eren

oh god he's a modern day fuckboi

the complete opposite of his brother, zeke

he lives by gaslight, gatekeep and girlboss like he just radiates that energy

is also on tinder

again, opposite of his brother - he loves cats

and yes his profile pic on tinder is of him with his cat

the only thing in his bio is his height and the fact that he loves cats

he loves space song by beach house especially the (slowed + reverb) version on youtube

always smells like he put on too much axe body spray

he has an android phone - actually he is VERY anti-apple

posts very controversial tweets that garner a lot of attention + traffic to his page (but, the good kind of controversial. his tweets get reposted on those shitty fake Drake accounts)

his side hustle is being an uber driver (yes, a 5 star driver)

he drives a corolla but it's one of those really cool tricked out ones

JDM lifestyle

yes he goes to car meets

"can i have a hug" type guy

he has a photo album on his phone specifically for memes and reaction pics for twitter

but DAMN he is HOT HOT HOT. man bun, a sleeve of tattoos and skinny jeans that show off his humongous gingerbread man

he possess such a hot, punky, cyberpunk aesthetic that majority of his "OOTD" posts get reposted by those fashion accounts on IG

doja cat follows him on IG

more active on 4chan than any other social network

shrek is love, shrek is life

boba tea and korean bbq = favs

has seen spiderman no way home about 12 times since its release

this is breaking the fourth wall but yes eren loves anime

........ and yes that includes hentai - he has an ahegao sticker on his corolla for god's sake

will also be attending the we were young festival with levi

if he sees you with a rolling stones t-shirt he will approach you with "name 5 of their songs"

everytime he sings the rock part of happier than ever by billie eilish, he sings it with so much passion you start to worry like damn u ok?

armin

he was very involved in high school clubs; you name it, band, theater, sports - he was even the senior class president

just like erwin, he was someone who also had a tremendous and miraculous glow up

and yes when you are having dinner with armin and your parents, if you ask "will you please pass the salt, daddy?" both your dad and armin will turn around

although, he doesn't believe in tinder. he wants to find love "the old fashioned way"

he smells like fresh laundry and lavender

exclusively shops at h&m and forever 21 like yes a soft white sweater and some joggers fuck me up armih

he's a freak

no, really !!!! he's actually a freak ok like he may seem so innocent on the outside but man he will choke you out in the bedroom

the "i'm only on facebook cause of family" kind of guy; barely posts anything but when he does it's wholesome shit like a video of a dog riding a bicycle

but he is very active on his newsfeed - he will comment and like your posts

a big advocate for gay rights like you will see this man with his shirt off at pride

this man loves k-pop

"i can't stop me" by twice. enough said

his house smells like vanilla

ooh, he's also a minimalist when it comes to home decor

but he has a wall full of vinyls

shops for candles at bath & body

he's a big gamer!!!! 150k subs on twitch. live streams. plays OW and Destiny

jesus christ, he built his own gaming rig

he drives a prius lol

he practically lives at barnes & noble

jim carrey fanatic

*shares a song with you from spotify* "this song made me think of you"

gives the best and warmest hugs

lowkey is a one direction stan

they got your order wrong at starbucks? you asked for 2% milk and they gave you whole milk? no worries, armin will be the one to go up to the barista and POLITELY demand they remake it