#hi. murph the credits here
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how can you hold me, when i'm dissolving?
gill button / slipped, the national / a thousand kisses, gill button / a passing rain, the beths / ellen hee / show you, esme emerson / ellen hee / friends, fazerdaze / georgette smith / hybrid, annie dirusso / caroline peron / slipped, the national / mellow meadow
#hi. murph the credits here#web weave#gill button#the national#the beths#ellen hee#esme emerson#fazerdaze#georgette smith#annie dirusso#caroline peron#mellow meadow#meposting#murph weaves
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The Quarry Collectibles Breakdown
Hi hello, my autism moment is still momenting. In honor of my fifth playthrough (Blood Pact Run babey), here's all the evidence/clues/tarot by location and counselor.
I'm a dataset kinda bitch and love to look at charts sooooo. This is mainly for me, if you get a kick out of it? Great!
Clues and Tarot by Chapter
Honestly not a whole lot to say on these except holy shit Chapter 2 is Clue Heavy. (makes sense, it's the chapter before shit hits the fan officially)
I would have included Evidence here, but it's a boring chart folks. Every Chapter (except The Prologue) has one bit of evidence.
Clues by Counselors
This project started because of how many collectibles Jacob finds in the first half of the game. I had to observe that data over time lmao
Laura was imprisoned for two months, gets out of jail, and fucking BOOKS it for the top clue finder spot.
I was actually surprised to see Dylan end up in second place for clues? Sir, you can't tease Kaitlyn for finding the Harum Scarum ticket stub when it's the only chapter she gets to find the collectibles! You've been at it since Chapter 2.
Ryan you found one. You found one clue. In all fairness, he's too tired from carrying the team on his back to bother with finding anymore.
Nick honey we didn't have you for long, but by god you put in the effort when we did have ya.
Kaitlyn didn't get a chance to snoop all game, and the moment she's got the opportunity? She makes third place a four way tie.
Max is here because I love him. Also, when my partner got a sneak peak of this and saw Max had a big ol goose egg? He went, "This is malewife erasure."
Tarot by Counselors
Laura is really out here doing the MOST
Again! Dylan is casually slinking into second place here for the second category of collectibles.
Jacob and Abi put in a lot of work at the start of the game, but what's that in Chapters 8 & 9? HERE COMES RYAN WITH THE STEEL CHAIR
Nick might not get to do a whole lot, but he certainly gives it his best.
Kaitlyn literally doesn't get to find anything until Chapter 10.
Max is once again just here because I love him.
Evidence by Counselors
Last but not least, evidence breakdown!
Laura I am begging you to take a nap after the game concludes, please take a break girl.
Emma and Jacob got, objectively, the most important evidence. Picture of werewolf Max? Finding the dead dude at the bottom of the lake? Thanks for your service guys, you didn't need to go the extra mile and get more evidence!
In the credits listening to Bizarre Yet Bonafide, I crack up every time Murph (Okay Anton, but c'mon I'm a Dimension 20 bitch) calls Dylan's claw mark photo unconvincing and that he could do that if he were given a fork and a wall. Emily calling it filler evidence? Mwah!
Nick and Max, at least you're pretty.
#the quarry#laura kearney#jacob custos#abigail blyg#emma mountebank#dylan lenivy#nick furcillo#ryan erzahler#kaitlyn ka#honorable mention#max brinly#supermassive games#the quarry collectibles#the quarry evidence#the quarry clues#the quarry tarot
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circle k (back to you)
summary: in which you're just the graveyard shift employee at circle k bombarded by vigilantes.
━ chapter five: i am found on the ground | read chapter four
━ pairing: tim drake x f!reader
━ word count: 4.5k
━ warnings: none
━ masterlist
━ a/n: if you'd like to see my notes (and my thoughts behind a certain inclusion of a character in this chapter), you can find them here <3 (also i'm on fire is playing in the last scene the formatting of the lyrics just killed me so i had to get rid of it thank you all)
“You just can’t beat it.”
“It was okay.”
You turn sharply to look at Tim, who shrugs, a small smile playing on his lips.
In the kitchen, Steph snorts. “Here we go.”
You ignore her. “Okay? Inception was okay—”
“Uncalled for—”
“But true. This?” You gesture to his flatscreen TV, where the end credits for Interstellar are playing; you’re a little bit red-eyed from the end scenes with Cooper and Murph but no less passionate. “This is more than okay. It’s—”
“Not technically scientifically accurate.”
You grab a pillow and gently whack him with it. He tries to hide a growing smile. You don’t understand what exactly he’s smiling at but you don’t care in this moment.
“It’s not about scientific accuracy, duck boy, it’s about love.”
“Yeah!” Steph yells from the kitchen. “Go love! Woo!”
You gesture in her direction. “He literally said it in the movie, Tim. How can you miss it? And Brand, too!”
“It wasn’t enough to save who she loved, though,” he points out—ever the devil’s advoactate, honestly…
“But it was there and she knew that, too, and she was okay with it. And it was enough for Cooper and Murph, too. I mean, literally to the point that she was able to save humanity. Right? Brand said it—love is the one thing we are capable of perceiving that transcends dimensions of time and space.”
Tim looks… well, far from upset or annoyed. He seems amused, almost… almost fond, the way he looks at you, but it’s too much for you to handle, so you look away, pouting a little.
“And also, okay, I know entering the black hole wasn’t ‘scientifically accurate’ but that’s the point, that some higher being switched them out so he didn’t die. You do have to admit, however, that the depiction of the black hole, which I’ll give Nolan props for, was great.”
“Okay, true,” he concedes. “The score was pretty good, too.”
“It was excellent.”
Steph steps out from the kitchen, looking at her phone. “Give me a sec, you guys, my mom’s calling me.”
You both give her an affirmative and she steps out the front door. You and Tim quickly resume your discussion.
“Inception’s score was good, too,” he points out.
“Bah. They both had Zimmer. Of course it’s going to be good. But Interstellar has the benefit of being enhanced by it because it’s already a good movie. I mean, it surprises even me that Nolan could manage to pull off something like this.”
“He has the range,” Tim protests.
“Yeah, yeah, whatever, you Nolan stan. I’m still a bit hung-up on you saying it’s just ‘okay.’ I mean, sure, it could just be me projecting my own grief about my dead parents onto the story about a dad crossing space and time to get back to his daughter but still!”
That’s the understatement of the century. The scenes between Cooper and an old Murph never fail to make you tear up. Any of the scenes between them, really.
The prolonged silence from Tim tips you off and it’s only when you look at him do you realize your mistake.
His eyes are wide as he looks at you, surprised, with something else.
“Oh, it’s fine—”
“Your parents are—”
You both stop.
You clear your throat, waving a hand. “It’s fine. I… I mean, sorry if it made you uncomfortable, I joke about it sometimes.”
“No,” he says. “It’s okay. It just surprised me. I guess… I don’t want to—I mean—I’m, uh, sorry?”
You shift on the couch, turning more toward him. “It’s okay. It was… well, not that long ago, but—”
You stop, because your instinctive response is ‘I’m over it’ but that’s not totally true, is it? You don’t think you’ll ever be over it. One part of you still feels horribly robbed of them, and some days, their deaths feel so monumental you can barely get through the day, while others, you can function normally for the most part.
“No, I understand,” he says softly. “My parents, too. My mom when I was younger but my dad died when I was sixteen. It’s… not really something you get over, I think. No matter how much time passes.”
A quiet moment between you. It’s not like he’s tried to make you feel ostracized—if anything he’s gone out of his way to make you feel welcomed here, to make sure he and Steph don’t get too caught up on their own and they include you—but… This is a common thread between you and you know he knows and you know he knows you know.
“Yeah… Yeah, exactly.” You pause, glancing at the TV, where the credits are rolling now. “It happened when I was fifteen. The, um, earthquake.”
“I’m sorry,” he says again and you know he means it.
“I’m sorry about yours, too.”
Tim nods, the look on his face still soft, still gentle, then he glances back at the TV.
“I was kidding, you know,” he says next. “It, uh, really was good. Better than I thought it would be. Scientific inaccuracy aside…”
“It’s good,” you press, ignoring the last comment. “And I don’t think it was trying to fool anyone into scientific accuracy.”
“Also true. I just…”
“Wasn’t expecting it to hit that hard?” you guess, smiling. “Yeah, I get it. Cried like a baby when I first saw it. You’re stronger than me for getting through it dry-eyed.”
“Oh, I’m just waiting for later,” he says. “Saving my sorrows for my pillow. That kind of thing.”
You laugh loudly. He smiles.
“It does unearth all the dead parent trauma, though,” he says.
“Oh, tell me about it. Cooper wanting to try to go back home after they find out Dr. Brand never intended to help those on earth…”
“And then having to sacrifice himself to give Brand a chance,” he finishes, shaking his head. “Only for it to turn out well in the end. If only real life was like that.”
A shade too dark for right now but you can’t say you disagree.
The front door opens. Steph slips back inside, raising an eyebrow at you two. Though she hardly means what you think she means, you find yourself inching away from Tim, turning back forward slightly. You’d hate to give her the wrong impression.
And of course, that is not at all what she is thinking about.
“Why do you two look like someone just died?”
“Well, we were just talking about our dead parents, so,” Tim responds without missing a beat.
You burst out laughing. Steph groans.
“I was wrong. You two shouldn’t be friends.”
“It’s too late for that, I think,” Tim says, grinning.
You can’t help but grin, too.
She groans again.
Catwoman is your next vigilante visitor.
All skin-tight latex and a coquettish attitude that makes your face hot.
Luckily, she doesn’t appear to mind. She even pays for her stuff.
(“I was told,” she purrs. “And I don’t much like being told what to do but… you’re cute enough to convince me to go along with it.”
You don’t think the noise you made was human but it amused her enough.)
Alongside that, you have the others who regularly drop by. Your vigilantes, but then, as you pick up a few weekend afternoon shifts (much to Steph’s disapproval), some normal faces, too.
Barbara, a red-haired woman with sharp green eyes who has a stately and intimidating aura to her but is always pleasant when you two chat. Sometimes she has another woman with her, a pretty blond Barbara calls D. Then, that one man, the stocky blonde with the tortoise-shell glasses and a quiet but kind disposition, who eventually introduces himself as Jean-Paul.
You spot him during one of your weekend shifts, waiting his turn as you finish ringing up a harried-looking lady. Another man joins him, a little bit younger, you think, with dark hair and an odd white streak at the front; they’re both dressed in scrubs.
“It’s been a while, Jason.”
“You know how it is, JP. Work doesn’t stop. How’s Leslie?”
“Doing everything at once and somehow managing to pull it off. I’m sure she’d like to see you, if you could find the time.”
“Sure. I’ve got a couple days off from the hospital. I could drop in. Lend a hand.”
A soft chuckle. “If she doesn’t turn you around and tell you to go rest.”
“I’ll rest when I’m dead.”
He coughs. The other man snickers.
Just as the lady leaves, Jean-Paul says, “Let me pay.”
“I won’t say no.”
They both step up to the counter. Jean-Paul gives you a small smile in greeting and seems to decide to forgo your usual small talk—probably because of his new company, which you’re a bit grateful for. The other man—Jason?—nods, eyeing you curiously. Why, you have no idea. But that’s the only thing odd about it. You ring up the coffees without issue and soon, they’re stepping out, Jean-Paul giving you another small smile in goodbye. You return it.
Having regulars like that reminds you of the ones you had in Keystone City. Kind Mr. Garrick, who stopped by about once a month for lottery tickets, his wife typically in tow; they were always kind to you, always a little bit concerned over your wellbeing, whether you were getting enough sleep or eating well. Painfully reminiscent of grandparents you never had.
A little more frequently, there was Linda Park-West, a face you easily recognized from WKEY-TV for the Channel 4 News. She didn’t miss much, always so perceptive, but kind to you, sometimes testing your PR skills as a reporter. She usually stopped by for coffee before work but on occasion, she brought along her kids, Jai and Iris, to let them pick out something for themselves, too. Quite literal balls of energy, they were a handful but always good-intentioned.
You miss them all a lot. More than you thought you would. The Flash, too. Especially these days. What you’d give to talk to him about all this stuff…
But you’ve managed on your own since your parents died. You can keep doing it.
The following week, Tuesday night, you get another new vigilante visitor.
This one?
Robin.
He is, admittedly, a figure you are considerably more scared of. It’s a bit… silly on your part, too, because he is a kid, you think, a teen at least, but, well, teens can be scary. This one certainly is. If only because of his close proximity to the one who scares the most. The one who you are happy not to have visited you thus far and Robin’s appearance… well, you don’t entirely know if it’s a good thing.
But it might be foolish to assume that Batman doesn’t know this is happening.
But then thinking of him knowing you exist makes you horribly anxious, so, you shelve the thought for now and try to focus on the situation.
Which is…
The three dogs in tow collapse in front of the door, panting, tongues lolled out, appearing to enjoy the air-conditioned bliss of the inside of the store. Robin stares at you, his face a blank mask.
“Water?”
“At the back. Far left.”
He nods and turns.
You wait there, uncertain, glancing at the dogs. They look worse for wear, fur dirty and matted, old scars healed over; the sight tugs at your heart, so you step around from the counter, heading to the coffee machine. The store doesn’t carry bowls but the extra-large soda cups are wide enough to work for now.
Robin appears near you, several big bottles of water held in hand. He doesn’t say anything, just looks at you and the cups.
“Don’t have any bowls,” you admit. “So, I thought this might work.”
He wrinkles his nose. “Styrofoam. Wasteful. But it’ll do.”
“Yeah, Circle K isn’t breaking barriers in terms of eco-friendliness.”
He says nothing to that, just turns and heads for the dogs. You follow him, not that turned off. You’ve heard rumors about this particular Robin. He does a good job but can be… rough around the edges. Like Bat, like Robin, you guess.
Glancing at the cups, you get an idea, stopping to duck around the counter and grab a pair of scissors. You cup off the top half of each of them, Robin taking them as you go, until all three cups are cut, allowing for the dogs to have better reach.
You join him with the last one, filling it with cold water. Most of the dogs are so heat tired, they only lift their heads to drink, seemingly unable to stand.
You and Robin stay kneeled in front of them, filling the cups when necessary. You gently stroke the head of one nearest to you, smiling as his tail thumps against the tiles.
Robin says nothing else and neither do you. That’s how his time there goes, spent in silence, petting the dogs, letting them cool down and rest.
Eventually, he starts to leave, and you can’t help but ask, “What’s going to happen to them?”
He regards you for a moment and you get the unnerving feeling of being picked apart and analyzed. Still, you hold steady. It’s good practice, you try to tell yourself. One day, you’ll be faced with bloodhounds for journalists and you have to keep it together. Let yourself practice with Robin because if you can pull it off with him, you can do it with anyone.
“The shelters are closed for the night,” he eventually responds. “I will take them somewhere safe, off the streets. Then in the morning, they’ll go there.”
“That’s good. Thanks for doing that. It’s kind of you.”
He pauses, looking back at the dogs, who are rejuvenated by this point, stretching and standing up, tails wagging as they look at you two.
“It’s the right thing to do,” he says at last. “And… thank you, for your help.”
You glance away, picking up the cups. “Sure. No problem.”
A nod and Robin is soon corralling the dogs out of the store, murmuring more gently to them than you would expect, but from this experience, you suspect he has some kind of soft spot for animals. It’s endearing, in a way.
You hope you made a good impression on him, too.
(And if your good impression keeps Batman out a little longer, well, that’s just a lucky coincidence.)
The start of July creeps on you.
There is still achingly little contact between you and Tim. By this point, you haven’t seen him in person for more than a month.
You miss him, in the same way you miss a limb. Scrolling through your social media, whenever you find something funny or that he would like, your knee-jerk reaction is to send it to him. But your conversations on those respective platforms are made up of messages from you and none from him, so you have to stop yourself, because it wouldn’t be worth it. He wouldn’t see it.
Steph tries to preoccupy your time, though her behavior regarding Tim grows increasingly skittish, to the point where you almost think she might know.
She might know that you’re in love with him, him, her ex-boyfriend and first love. The thought brings on the usual amount of soul-crushing guilt and disgust with yourself. How can you do that to her? She’s your best friend. You love her to the ends of the universe and back and… How can you do that to her?
But… something else about it all niggles at you, too. She switches between reassuring you he’ll come around, and dismissing him the other times, saying you ‘don’t need him to have a good time.’ It makes you think they may be having their own issues, too.
The thought is sobering.
You’ve always thought of Steph and Tim as—as insane as it sounds—a pair of bonded kittens. Not exactly getting along all the time but…
You couldn’t separate them. You shouldn’t separate them.
And it feels so wrong for it to be just you two, sometimes. Like you’re missing another piece of the puzzle and it’s noticeable. This empty space between you two that he usually filled. Your group chat, at his insistence, is called the three musketeers. Well, you’re missing your third. Desperately.
“We can rebrand,” Steph says to you one day, the two of you at the mall’s food court. Tim said he was busy. Again.
“No,” you sigh. “That’s not… no. Anyway, Big Belly?”
“I—oh, you have got to be kidding me.” She sounds annoyed, voice sharp.
“What?” you ask, your eyes still on the menu in front of you.
She grabs your arm. “I think we should eat somewhere else.”
You frown at her. “But you said you wanted to get—”
“We can get Big Belly somewhere else. Maybe a little more quiet, you know, it’s kinda crazy in here,” she laughs, though it sounds strained as she tugs you over to the exit.
“Crazy? It’s not that busy—Stephanie!” You yelp as she drags you forward before you can take a look around. “What is going on—”
“It’s just—I think I see Jordanna—”
“Where—”
“Let’s not look! Don’t want her to see you or me, you know how she is, so, let’s get out of here…”
“Well, I—okay—you don’t have to—”
She tugs you all the way through the exit, out into the burning mid-afternoon heat. Humidity swallows you whole, turning your skin tacky, sun bearing down on you full-force. Outside, it smells sharply of gasoline and hot blacktop.
“Honestly, Steph,” you say, shaking your head. “You didn’t need to drag me out like that.”
She gives you an apologetic smile. “Sorry. I just… didn’t want to deal with Jordanna. She’s been really annoying me recently.”
“Has she?” You can’t imagine why Jordanna would even be talking to her since it’s the summer, but to be fair, there isn’t much Jordanna wouldn’t do in the name of annoying her.
“Yup. Just… acting way out of line. So, let’s go somewhere else.”
“Alright, that’s fine. Let’s get out of the heat before you have to scrape me off the pavement.”
“Food’s on me,” she promises, looping her fingers through the belt loops of your jeans, tugging you gently; too hot to hold hands or twine your arms together like usual.
Though the whole thing bothers you a little bit, you are too used to Steph and Tim’s sometimes strange ways. Leaving abruptly, missing scheduled hangouts, a penchant for tardiness. The occasional bruise or cut that they both wave away. The exhaustion that wears them down sometimes.
It’s odd.
But stranger things happen in Gotham, so, you heed their wishes for that stuff to be ignored.
Just like you let this one go, too.
Really. The things you do for them.
Oddities aside, as Tim remains virtually radio silent, you miss him more. Think about him more.
Dream about him more.
“Steph’s going to be late,” is what Tim says as soon as he steps inside your dorm.
You snort. “Of course she is. You’re both terrible at being punctual.”
“I… am less bad at it than she is.”
“Right,” you say, smirking, pointing to your clock. “You’re only twenty minutes late, compared to what her forty minutes to an hour will be.”
Tim grimaces as he shuffles off his shoes by the door, then steps in further. “She said she was showering.”
“So, we have even more time. That’s fine. I wanted to paint my nails.”
In the bathroom you share with your ‘roommate,’ the shower turns on. It’s really just the bathroom you two share. Your small dorm is entirely private. The perks of being a junior.
You go over to your dresser, where your collection of makeup and nail polish is. Above it, your window looks out to the grassy quad, the sky clear of clouds, unusually blue today without the typical smog; the sun shines in, dust motes dancing in the rays.
Tim comes over, too, but he goes for your phone instead, which is connected to your Bluetooth speaker, music playing lowly; he got that for you this past Christmas.
“Gonna play your old people music?”
“Bruce Springsteen is a treasure to this country and, to quote my dad, one of the few good things to ever come out of the state of New Jersey.”
You laugh. The song changes. The upbeat notes of Hungry Heart start. You’ve heard this one more than a couple times since meeting him. It’s not so bad.
You fiddle with the bottles of nail polishes. Tim sets your phone down and leans over, dropping his chin to your shoulder as he watches you, humming quietly under his breath.
The contact makes your heart skip a beat, tendrils of his cologne wrapping around you, the heat of his body palpable through your thin t-shirt. It’s a contradicting sensation, with the AC working hard to beat the May heat that’s settled in. Maybe too hard, as your fingers are a little bit cold. You warm up quickly with Tim so close to you, your heart thudding in your ears. You desperately hope he can’t feel the heat that expands in your face.
That’s a more recent development. One you hate looking too closely at, for fear of what it means.
(You do know what it means. You’re just still in denial. Because admitting it means you have feelings for your best friend’s ex-boyfriend. For your best friend.)
You keep fiddling, not sure which color to pick. Tim huffs softly, reaching past you, picking out a bottle of wine red nail polish.
“Fine. But you have to help,” you say, taking it from him, then grabbing another bottle for the top coat.
“Don’t I always?”
You just nudge him back, stepping away from the dresser and taking a seat on the floor. The floor is hard, polished concrete; not pleasant to sit on or walk on, so you’ve invested in several cushioned rugs to cover as much as you can.
Tim grabs a Zesti from your mini fridge, then joins you as you set to painting the nails of your left hand. This one is easier since you’re using your dominant hand and you manage to paint your nails without catching any of the skin around them.
The shower in your bathroom hums underneath the sound of the song as you finish your left hand. The first coat, anyway. Tim passes his Zesti to you, wipes a hand on his jeans to get rid of the condensation, then takes the bottle of nail polish.
You sip the soda, extending your right hand to him. He carefully balances the bottle on the rug and sets to painting your nails.
Like with most things he does, Tim dedicates himself to his task wholeheartedly, cornflower blue eyes trained on your hand, tongue poking out in concentration. The sight makes your heart skip a beat. Warmth unspools in your chest like cotton candy.
Sunlight pours in from the window above the dresser, bathing him in warm, golden rays; it makes the shade of his dark hair warmer, the blue of his t-shirt, too, softening the pale of his skin.
“So… how was that date?”
The question jars you. You avert your eyes.
Ah. The date you agreed to go on with a guy in your communications class in an attempt to… you don’t know. Distract yourself from Tim? Try to find someone else to latch onto? All… not so great reasons, you know, but needs must.
Not like it worked out, anyway…
“Terrible.”
He stiffens, pausing in his work to look at you, eyes narrowing, and you send him a small smile, privately pleased—though you shouldn’t be—at seeing him get all protective. You can take care of yourself and he knows that, too, but… one can appreciate having a cute guy be like that for you. Within reason, anyway.
“He didn’t do anything, Timmy, relax. He was just… well, seemed nice initially. But when we got to the restaurant, he was horrible to the waitress. I already wasn’t feeling it, but after that, no way. So.”
He glances away, thumb rubbing idly at the back of your hand from where he cradles it in his. “Sorry to hear that.”
“It’s okay. It wasn’t a good idea.”
“To go with him or—” he clears his throat, turning back to his work “—dating in general?”
“I don’t know. He just wasn’t what I was looking for.”
“What are you looking for?”
You, you want to say, but don’t.
Frightening to realize, really, that the answer to that question is immediate, as sure as the day.
It’s Tim.
Always Tim.
But you’ve never felt this way for someone. This strongly, like you want so much, you could never be satisfied.
“I don’t know,” you say quietly, watching the brush of the handle glide over your nail in easy, practiced sweeps. “Does anyone?”
“I guess not,” he concedes softly. “But still. I hope you can find it.”
The song changes. Something calmer, with the strum of the guitar. Familiar croons of I'm On Fire.
I have found it, you want to say. It’s you. It’s this. Right here, right now.
But just because you found it doesn’t mean it’s yours.
“Do you?” you find yourself asking because apparently you’re feeling extra masochistic today. “Know what you’re looking for, I mean.”
Steph sometimes teases him. Tries to point out nice boys and girls he might like. You used to play along. You don’t so much these days.
He would always wave it off, anyway. Just shake his head and change the subject. He has dated before. Obviously. Someone as gorgeous as him… all of Gotham wants a piece of him. You do, too. Well. You want all of him. Which is another thing you are just now realizing. But anyway, since you’ve known him, he hasn’t dated anyone. He used to date a boy—Bernard? Steph said he was a character—from one of his old high schools but that didn’t work out. And now he still has the occasional date, but it never pans out. He says they just aren’t compatible.
Makes you curious.
You’d never match up to it, you know, but you want to know, anyway.
Tim looks up, his eyes slowly scanning your face. This close, with the sunlight, you can see the shadows his lashes cast on his cheeks, the flecks of silver in his eyes, like mercury, the odd scars, too, that he excuses behind clumsiness as a child. Everything inside you squeezes.
“I guess you can say that,” he eventually says, voice soft.
The words hurt, but distantly, like it’s all far away from you. You’re too caught up here, now, close enough to smell his cologne.
Tension thickens the air between you. It’s unfamiliar, unknown, but not unwelcome with how your stomach swoops like you missed a step, heart pounding in your ears.
Tim looks… contemplative. Your eyes are immediately drawn to the movement of him biting his lip, teeth sinking into plush pink, and the urge to soothe away the indents with your own lips is fearsome, monumental, like a hurricane.
His fingers tighten on your hand. You want to get swept away in this moment, no matter the consequences. It’s a dangerous kind of feeling you aren’t used to.
But the shower abruptly shuts off in the bathroom, plunging the room back into silence with the strum of the guitar and the croon of the song as it ends. The moment is broken.
Tim clears his throat and returns to his work.
Neither of you say anything.
Too much for you to want.
Too much you cannot have.
Too complicated.
reblogs are appreciated!
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#tim drake x reader#red robin x reader#dc comics imagine#tim drake imagine#red robin imagine#batfam imagine#batfam x reader#tim drake x y/n#tim drake x you#red robin x you#red robin x y/n#batfam x you#batfam x y/n
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a while ago i made a post about naddpod music and @metamagic-adept brought up kingshammer in the replies. and yeah, i can't resist. so. kingshammer essay, let's do this.
first of all: huge, huge thanks to @operationslipperypuppet for helping me with this; she found a bunch of uses (esp for c3) and contributed truly so much to the analysis as well.
now, the use of kingshammer differs by campaign. so! really quickly. here is every use of kingshammer in naddpod.*
*as of c3e53. obligatory spoiler warning for every naddpod episode up to that point.
(continued under the cut as i was not kidding about this being an essay-- i will leave a tl;dr of sorts towards the end)
c1e45: The Kings protect the Boobs from the avalanche (except Hardwon)
c1e54: Hardwon's death*
c1e54: Hardwon's visions while he's dead*
c1e54: Hardwon is revivified*
c1e55: Hardwon's dreamless sleep after dying*
c1e65: JV and Rosa in the fog, when he gives her his lantern*
c1e65: JV, the Duskmother, and Moradin*
c1e69: Hardwon seeing the day his father died while in Galad's sword
c1e75: Hardwon speaking up in the astral council: "You don't broker a deal with someone who calls themself a God"
c1e80: Hardwon's flashback in Hell: "Looks like a Dwarf to me"
c1e81: Hardwon fuses the Bronzebeard and Coldain hammers
c1e86: Hardwon throws King Coldain the Kingshammer in the Tarrasque fight
c1e86: Coldain returns the Kingshammer to Hardwon in the Tarrasque fight
c1e87: Hardwon and King Coldain talk about succession of the throne
c1e90: Hardwon dreams of Grimthor MacGannis in the fall of Irondeep
c1e91: Hardwon notices that the debris from Irondeep collapsing is gone
c1e93: Hardwon and King MacGannis talk about the Godshammer / MacGannis offers Hardwon the MacGannis Kingshammer
c1e98: Pestilence sends Bev and Bubbles to a Maze
c1e98: Bev in the maze, following Bubbles (instead of Erlin)
c1e99: Bev Sr. possesses Balnor so he can bless Bev's sword
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c2e2: Fia and Zirk talk about their mentors and their books
c2e14: Jabari sees the past and is controlled to need to protect the King
c2e14: Jabari (still mind controlled) attacks Corbeau
c2e20: Bathilda retells the betrayal of the Blades / Cain and Moxora's attack on the Blades meeting
c2e21: Losgrar explains the Crux, and the cave in that killed hundreds
c2e22: The Third Mates plead with the Scrappers and Grez / The Scrappers and Grez stand off in the basement
c2e28: The Third Mates get through to Walder Lachnamoore (using Kenley's map and Remove Curse)
c2e40: The start of the ritual with the crown and Irina (that is ultimately corrupted by Moxora)
c2e41: Henry removing the crown
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c3e21: Callie approaches and soothes the Silver Serpent
c3e27: Big Bev and Callie go down in the High King fight, the King tries to escape, Calder fails to finish him
c3e34: Murph talks about Moradin, the Kingshammer itself, and the blessings people seek at his statue
c3e38: Callie tries to soothe the Bronze Serpent (first attempt)
c3e38: Callie tries to soothe the Bronze Serpent (second attempt)
c3e39: Callie tries to soothe the Bronze Serpent (final attempt, after bean rat, which succeeds)
c3e45: Callie enters the helm ("I'm coming Calder")
c3e45: Hardwon summons the spirit guardians
(note: uses in c1 marked as a * are credited instead as "A Sight For Sore Eyes", and i'd also like to mention that i didn't exclude side campaigns or oneshots from this list. kingshammer just... isn't used outside of the main campaigns.)
now, looking at this list, there's something that's immediately obvious: you can't talk about kingshammer without talking about hardwon surefoot.
... and i say that, but i'm going to immediately do the opposite of that and talk about non-hardwon uses in c1 and c3, as well as all uses in c2. also, keep in mind that not every use 100% fits these categories, sometimes kingshammer is just the right song for the moment, and that's fine. let's get into it!
first: moradin. the man who created the hammer, so of course it would be used for him. i would place both of JV's scenes here (the first scene, though not featuring moradin directly, is tied to JV's afterlife), as well as the c3e34 moradin statue scene. (i also wouldn't be surprised if the JV scenes get kingshammer partially because of its link to jake like. on a meta level. but i digress)
second: once the godshammer is created in episode 93 (put a pin in that), kingshammer is no longer used for hardwon or the weapon itself. in the first campaign, the song shows up a few more times, all for beverly: when he's in the maze during the pestilence fight, and when bev sr. possesses balnor to speak to bev. these fall in line, to me, with the early uses of kingshammer for hardwon (post his death in ep54). being beyond the planes of the living, being trapped. hardwon sees lydia there and has to leave her behind for his friends; beverly sees erlin and does the same.
third: in eldermourne, kingshammer is largely used for rituals and betrayals, and is especially tied to the cycle of mistrust and betrayal that surrounds the children of the trickster; the final use being when henry goes to remove the crown from irina in the finale. it's seeded with the introduction of the guardians of the grove books in ep 2, and continues throughout. i'm not going to touch on every use here, some fit more obviously, but i want to call out a few things: 1. re; the use in e28, walder lachnamoore was specifically involved in the downfall of the summer and autumn children of the trickster after they had been manipulated by moxora/heredecia and 2. every other use comes in a pair (the use in 2 sets up bathilda's story in 28 / the two uses in 14 are both jabari getting controlled / 21 and 22 are the ghost dragon / 40 and 41 are both the crown)
fourth, i'm just going to quote emily on the c3e27 short rest: "kingshammer in [campaign 3] i'm trying to put under dragons and serpents, 'cause they're the weapons of this campaign." this covers the uses in eps 21, 27, 38, and 39. the use in 34 is for moradin, and the only other c3 use left is the one in episode 45. put a pin in that.
and with that we've covered all the other kingshammer uses. so, finally, let's talk about hardwon and kingshammer.
hardwon is definitely the strongest association the song has. especially in campaign 1, where it's almost exclusively used for hardwon and the kingshammer (the weapon, not the song) until the godshammer is created in episode 93.
i want to break these uses up real quick; first, let's look at the first handful of uses in campaign 1: 45, 54 (all of them), 55, 69. here, the song comes in as things get dire. the mountain collapses, and it looks like even as the kings save his friends hardwon is going to die. then, he dies and sees that lydia is trapped. he watches his father's last stand. kingshammer isn't a heroic theme for hardwon here, it's a theme he struggles against. it's not prompted by his actions, it's prompted by something happening to him. it's the weapon he wields, but in 69 it's even actively rejected him due to his vampiric nature.
and then, well, a few things happen. he's reborn, for one (literally). and then in episode 75, for the first time, hardwon prompts the song. he speaks up in the astral council, and says "you don't broker a deal with someone who calls herself a god." and his friends and allies stand with him.
after this, the uses in episodes 80-93 (keep that pin in episode 93) are pretty obviously tied to the weapon itself. the kingshammer. as it gets stronger, so does hardwon. the "looks like a dwarf to me" flashback is the first time he wields it. every other use concerns the hammers and the dwarven kings. the kingshammer isn't what makes hardwon a hero, not by a long shot. but the thing that's interesting to me is the turn here. it's no longer a song that happens to hardwon, not really. it's often a song prompted by hardwon's action, and it's more hopeful now. it represents the weapon and its legacy, which is a thing hardwon is coming to embrace.
now, about that pin. in episode 93, hardwon and macgannis talk about the godshammer. when macgannis offers hardwon his own hammer, hardwon says: "i don't necessarily have to be the guy, you know, if you wanna swing it--" and the song cuts off. they wrestle for the hammer, hardwon wins, and the godshammer is restored.
after this point, kingshammer is not used for hardwon again until campaign 3 episode 45, when he summons the spirit guardians at the 11th hour of the lord ultrus fight.
i just want to emphasize that; hardwon tells macgannis that he doesn't have to be the one who wields the kingshammer, and the song doesn't get used for him again until he accepts it back in campaign 3. when he says "hey boys, i think we have a friend to avenge," stands against ultrus, and his friends and allies stand with him. when he accepts himself as the wielder of the kingshammer again, and what that means to him (being a hero).
do you see-- i am talking directly to you, the single person who read this far-- do you see why the song use in this podcast is insane?? like! did murph know, back in the first campaign, that hardwon would return, be retired, and have given up the kingshammer? definitely not. does the use of kingshammer for hardwon mirror his arc in an insane way? yes.
so that's an overview of hardwon and kingshammer. however, we're not done. let's look at it all together: moradin, the kingshammer (the weapon), the uses for bev and jv in c1, betrayals and rituals in eldermourne, the serpents and dragons of c3, and hardwon's relationship to the hammer and the song.
kingshammer is a song for weapons. emily says it, when talking about campaign 3. and that is 100% a common theme here. but, going a bit further, it's also a song about the interaction of mortals and divine/otherworldly power.
often, it's mortals wielding that power. the kingshammer (the weapon) is a divine gift, given by moradin to the dwarven kings. a huge chunk of the uses, especially in c1, are directly tied to the weapon and hardwon's wielding of it. the spirit guardians is a huge example of this as well, as hardwon and his allies are touched by the kingshammer's magic and able to stand against ultrus. and also; bev sr uses the power of the shadowfell to bless bev's sword. and the serpents are oberon's weapon against the destruction of nature; glen uses the silver serpent for his own gains, gromdal does the same to the bronze. callie, meanwhile, doesn't use the serpents, not like glen or gromdal-- instead, kingshammer comes in when she attempts to soothe them. because ultimately, that's the way she wields their power. through connection.
sometimes, they're being pulled at by its influence instead. positively, or negatively. JV, when he's beyond death, meeting the gods. hardwon after his death, torn between lydia (who was put in this position by a god) and his friends. beverly, trapped by an avatar of thiala's magic, being guided by the ghost of erdan. the souls of irondeep being pulled from the prime material by lydia, the lord of shadowfell. callie, entering the helm where ultrus was trapped to save calder.
in eldermourne, this is less tangible. however; the betrayals and the children of the trickster. this cycle of betrayal is the biggest divine influence that remains in eldermourne. the blades are tied up in it, due to their ties to cerenysus and the betrayal by the blades who sided with moxora. walder is tied up in it, as i mentioned before, and he remains in his undead form because of the influence of moxora. jabari is influenced by the prophet-ed king into betraying his friends. the ghost dragon, an otherworldly being, is created by pain caused by mortal actions. and then the crown ritual, at the very end. when moxora, disguised, betrays them and shows irina the third mates "betraying" their ideals, out of context. and the last use, with henry, is as he steps up to end the cycle, one that he had been a part of before.
it's all mortals and the otherworldly, and the places they meet. it's hardwon and his mortal allies, standing together on the premise that you don't broker a deal with someone who says they're a god. and, at the same time, it's hardwon and his allies finding strength in the kingshammer's magic to stand against the avatar of one. it's the ways the two influence each other. an intervention by one onto the other. sometimes they draw strength from each other, other times they're opposed. it's a song that is dire, and also hopeful. oftentimes, which of those is the case is determined while the song is playing.
tl;dr: kingshammer has a lot of uses, but it's very consistently used to represent (divine) weapons, and the interactions between mortals and the divine/otherworldly. when applied to hardwon specifically, it has a lot to do with his journey as a hero and accepting that that's what he is.
(also, since i'm writing this before either happens: don't be surprised if it's used for the ice knife (the weapon) and/or the final serpent whenever we meet it. both of these have a high chance of getting kingshammer applied to them considering everything that's been set up about the ice knife and also, y'know, serpents.)
in conclusion: you can pay careful attention to the music in naddpod, but watch out. you might accidentally write 2.5 thousand words about a song. thank you for reading.
and go listen to kingshammer-- aside from all the meaning it also just kicks ass.
-
notes, disclaimers, etc:
for the purposes of this, if the song loops, it's part of the same use. if it is used later in the same episode, it's noted separately.
this is mentioned above, but not every use fits 100%. murph and emily very deliberately use music throughout the story to inform it, and also sometimes kingshammer is just the right song for a moment. both are true.
as a follow up to that, i'm not claiming that all of this was the specific intention. i'm just saying that when you look at kingshammer's uses as a song, there are some pretty strong themes, and it's fun to examine those.
i am not perfect. this is for fun. if i missed one, i'm sorry, feel free to point it out, and also i'll edit this post if that's the case
i would once again like to call out alli operationslipperypuppet for her help. she pointed out the divine connection first, and in general helped immensely. and, if naddpod music interests you, she's another person who often goes insane about it.
i am not above doing this for other songs, if you're interested let me know (few songs are as prolific as kingshammer, however)
#naddpod#not another dnd podcast#kingshammer#naddpod music makes me insane#can you tell?#and like i said i'm not above doing this for other songs#i have a few i'm already considering...#shorter tho bc again.#few songs get used as much as kingshammer#i also have a few situational ones#like twinkling/bastard for hardwon#one specific c3 use of mee maw’s#the music during the calder being missing arc#oh! fate refused is another one#a memory in c1/3#the music in c1e70 reborn#how some songs are variations on others#and the patterns there are So cool to spot#among so many goddamn others#hanbles#naddmusic tag
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🚨SPOILERS FOR FANTASY HIGH JUNIOR YEAR EPISODE 7🚨
Dimension20 "Fantasy High Junior Year"
Episode 7 "Stress Tested"
Timestamp: 1:35:29
Video Length: 3min. & 47sec.
Fig tries to help Gorgug get his MCAT signed and ends up getting her own MCAT signed 💀 (Pt. 1 | ‣Pt. 2)
Brennan: "Porter takes it, takes out a pen, signs it in the other teacher's mark next to Zara's. And you see that the form only has two teacher signature spots on it. Signs it, writes an addendum, leaves a note, does some little bureaucratic thing. Goes,"
Porter: "I've heard a rumor. Did you tell someone on your spring break adventure to 'choke on grapes, *****?'"
Fig: "Did I?"
Gorgug: "I think so."
Ally: "Absolutely. Absolutely."
Fig: "I did."
(Murph looks so happy! 😂🤣)
Brennan: "Porter looks and says,"
Porter: "I've marked you as present for every class that you've been auditing for Barbarian classes. You've attended so many and your in-class contributions to discussion have been such a boon to the other students that on extra credit alone, I'm going to sign this and I'm gonna go to Principal Grix and say there was a miscommunication, Figueroth Faeth has been a Barbarian this entire time."
Fig: *whispering desperately* "I don't want to."
Gorgug: *slowly hands his MCAT to Porter*
Brennan: "He[Porter] smacks the MCAT outta your hand."
Porter: "You've never told anybody to choke on anything!"
Gorgug: "You're weird."
(the laughter 😂😂)
Porter: "Do you believe that?"
Gorgug: "Mm-mmm." *shakes his head*
Porter: "No, you don't."
Gorgug: "Yeah, I think you're weird."
Porter: "Yeah?"
Fig: "I can't even rage."
Porter: "Yes you can. Yes you can."
Fig: "You're ****ing right I can."
(Zac looks so done! 😭✋)
(Ally laughing 😂)
Fig: "Gorgug~"
Gorgug: "What?"
Fig: "I'm so ****ed."
Gorgug: "Fig, I don't know what's ****ing happening at all."
Ally: "Barbarian, Bard, Warlock."
Gorgug: "Are you doing this class too?"
(Murph's just going insane! 😂🤣💀)
Gorgug: "Wait, what happened? I thought we were just gonna get my form signed."
Fig: "I just made the Bard cry, the Bard teacher cry. And I tried to get your form signed. Now I got my form signed."
Gorgug: "What the **** is happening?"
Brennan: "You see Porter looks and says,"
Porter: *points at Gorgug* "This is a C- student."
(Lou sighs) (Me too, Lou. Me too. 😬)
Porter: *looks at Gorgug* "You bring your Barbarian class up to an A+ and I'll consider signing that form."
Gorgug: "Okay. Yeah."
Brennan: "He[Porter] looks back at you[Fig] and says,"
Porter: "As long as you keep auditing, you can have this."
Fig: "Okay."
Gorgug: "Must be nice..."
(Brennan's laugh!!! 😭😭✋✋)
Fig: "I want it for you." 😭✋
Gorgug: "I know, I just... he is really weird."
Fig: "He's so weird."
Gorgug: "Why can't I tell him he's weird? Why can't I tell him that?"
(the laughs! 😂🤣)
Fig: "Just flex at him."
Gorgug: *flexing* *whispers super quiet* "you're weird"
Brennan: "Incredible. Okay."
(all laughing)
Siobhan: "So quiet at the back of the class."
Ally: *flexing and whispering* "You're weird."
Siobhan: "Whispering in his pencil case."
Brennan: "Fig, you get your MCAT signed, which basically allows you-"
Ally: "Fig's having a yogurt year."
Brennan: "You feel your stomach gurgle a little bit as you-"
Siobhan: "She's in her yogurt era."
Ally: "Yeah."
Brennan: "Academically, you have permission, basically you can roll any other academic rolls with advantage because you have this piece of paper signed."
Emily: "Ohhhh, okay."
Brennan: "Right? So it doesn't have to be Barbarian. You can just keep showing up here."
Emily: "Okay, I'll take that. I will take that."
Brennan: "Basically looking at it, actually what Porter did was make your life easier."
Emily: "Really?"
Brennan: "Like make your life way easier because you can do all these other multiclass things with advantage. Any other classes you wanna go to, you roll with advantage. He basically has like lessened your workload, that you can jump right into Junior Year for any other class you're interested in."
Emily: "Okay, great. I thought I absolutely ****ed myself in trying to help Gorgug."
Brennan: "No, no, no, no."
#dimension 20#dimension20#blog#fantasy high#fantasy high junior year#stress tested#fantasy high stress tested#fantasy high junior year episode 7#fhjy ep 7#fantasy high scene#fantasy high junior year scene#dimension20 scene#queue#fig#fig faeth#figueroth faeth#emily axford#gorgug#gorgug thistlespring#zac oyama#porter the barbarian teacher#porter the barbarian#porter cliffbreaker#porter#brennan lee mulligan
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basics.
full name — Samuel Bloom - exclusively goes by Murph
faceclaim — Adam Brody
gender & pronouns —cis man, he/him
age — 42
birthday — 12/9/1981
sexuality — hetero, sad but true
occupation — unemployed
neighborhood — Deer Park
length of time in blue harbor — since the beginning of October
tldr. tw: divorce (full bio can be found at the bottom of the intro)
murph is called murph because it was a running joke all his life that he was cursed with bad luck. so instead of allowing murphy to be a name that haunted him his entire life, murph decided to simply make it his identity. people can't make fun of you if you do it first!
he's the oldest of two boys and the least favorite. his family is the loud rambunctious type and the gene seemed to skip him. he liked comic books and robots and listening to obscure indie bands in his bedroom. so he got pushed onto the backburner a lot in favor of his brother who was the big man on campus with his football and his hundreds of friends and his endless charm
he was born and raised in the san francisco area but went to college in southern california for a change of pace and for a chance to not be in his little brother's shadow. his studies were in coding and game design and it was nice to feel like he was finally excelling at something
he finally shook off that lingering awkward teen thing at some point in his college career and actually started dating. if he hadn't already fully become murph he might have dropped the nickname because things were going really well!
after graduation, he got a job at a fairly big name gaming company. but as it turned out, he was less passionate about designing games than he was about playing them, finding that app development was actually more his speed.
he took a leap of faith and left his steady job for a start up company where he managed projects and teams. it wasn't exactly what he wanted to do, but he felt like he was getting on the right track
because he can be something of a workaholic, his romantic life suffered. until it didn't. he met someone who was like his opposite in every way— much more like his brother than him— but he thought their differences was what made the relationship so solid. she pushed him out of his comfort zone, which he needed. eventually, with her support, he left the company to venture out on his own. with an old college acquaintance eager to invest, murph put together his own team and finally was at a place where he could bring his ideas to life. he didn't have to manage anybody else's projects for the first time and could focus solely on his brainchild: sidequest— an app with a very easy-to-use interface that connects people for odd jobs. it's a little more complicated than that but i'm just a girl, so pretend there's really cool techy stuff here that blows your mind <3
riding the high of a particularly big breakthrough, murph proposed to his girlfriend on a whim. she said no. which would have been fine because, if he thought about it, their shelf life was likely reaching its expiration. what he wasn't prepared for was her confessing that she was actually in love with his BROTHER
like, yeah, sure, it made sense when he thought about it because he was always the spare Bloom, but damn??? right in front of my fruit salad???
anyway, that sucked a lot. but at least he had his app!
oh, except wait. he didn't. because that investor "friend" of his? well, he got dollar signs in his eyes and saw an opportunity to take credit for all of murph's work. and with some ironclad contracts with shitty little fine print that basically said he already owned anything and everything murph created using his money, he was forced out. but at least they cut him a check, right?
honestly, murph was super bummed out. he had a shit ton of money but nothing really to show for it
that's about the time he met valley. he really didn't think he had anything to offer anyone and he was too scared to put himself out there again just to get chewed up and spit out so soon after he'd already been thoroughly wrecked. but he kind of didn't have a choice. she was persistent in the beginning and so beautiful and charming and he honestly never stood a chance
he fell soooooooo hard for her. like the sun rose and fell with HER. he realized he never knew a single thing about love until he met her because nothing else quite compared. and for five years, they were very happy
and then fuckass george had to get involved. valley's shitty ex husband reached out to murph and told him everything, sent proof of certificates and pictures and all kinds of things murph couldn't explain away. it destroyed him to think that, once again, he'd put everything into something that turned out to never really be his in the first place. he was in a sort of state of shocked numbness for a long, long time. anger came way later and he never really asked any questions of her or got any answers. she was just here and then she was gone
he allowed himself to wallow for a while, and even after he picked himself up and did his best to move on, the people closest to him could see that he needed to be forced out of his rut. enter: blue harbor. it's quieter, a big change of scenery. and there's nothing there that could possibly remind him of his ex wife!
i am sorry that this section is called tldr and i basically just rewrote the entire bio but with bullet points. if you've made it this far, i luv u
headcanons.
when murph and valley decided they wanted a dog, they went to the shelter and asked for the dog that had been there the longest. they adopted her sight unseen and came home with a very scruffy terrier mix that they named fig
he is SO clumsy. it's cute and it's sad. like a big puppy that doesn't know how to control it's limbs yet
he has a dry, sarcastic sense of humor and he tends to lean on that in social interactions because talking to people is both hard and overwhelming so if he's making people laugh then he's winning
i had so many more in my head when i was at work and couldn't write anything down and now it's all evading me so i'll update more when i think about it!
wanted connections.
neighbors in deer park
dog friends???
???
???????
?????????? help brain no work
full bio.
Murphy’s law states anything that can go wrong will go wrong.
For Samuel Bloom, that adage was a lifestyle. And a name.
It was meant as a joke— calling him Murphy. A nod to just how wrong everything always seemed to go for him. But Sam adopted it, made it his own. If he couldn’t beat them, then he would join them. And so, he became Murph.
From the beginning, it was clear that Murph’s younger brother was the favorite. His parents weren’t mean, they didn’t treat him poorly in favor of his brother, but it was still there and still obvious all the same. His brother was the sports guy, the charismatic one, the friend magnet. Murph… well. Murph liked comics and robotics, he liked finding solutions to problems in unique ways. He was just wired differently and so he never took it personally when he’d have the house to himself for a long weekend during one of his brother’s away games. Or when they chose to sit in on a football game instead of his first robotics competition.
College felt like a new beginning. Maybe there Murph could be the guy who won. He wouldn’t be recognized as the Other Bloom. He was the only Bloom. And for a little while, that was true. He made some friends— a few of which he still has today— and even had a string of girlfriends. Most of those were fleeting and none of them were endgame level serious. But it was still a little life he cultivated for himself. And it was one that he was proud of. He was pursuing coding and video game design, both fields something he believed would only evolve with time. He wanted to evolve with it.
And so, he did. He got a job with a modestly sized company right out of college. It was a decent job, paid the bills just enough that he could afford a studio apartment and dinner at least two nights a week that wasn’t instant noodles. And then he slowly moved up the ladder, small raises here and there affording him an apartment with actual rooms and dinner not from a cup any night he wanted.
Eventually, Murph realized his passion lay not with video game design but with app development. As the market for that grew, so, too, did his ideas. When an old college buddy reached out to him, offering a job at his startup company, Murph took a leap of faith. It was slow going in the beginning, and had it not been for his savings, he might have returned to studio apartments and cup noodles, but eventually, they hit their stride. It still wasn’t quite where Murph wanted to be— managing teams rather than bringing his own ideas to life. But it was still so clear that he’d found himself in the right field, so he took the wins where he could.
Seven years of growth found him well. He’d upgraded his one bedroom apartment to a two bedroom house in a nice little neighborhood. It was more space than he needed for himself, but eventually, maybe, he’d fill it with a family. That part of his life was slower-going. Perhaps it was because he had never quite learned how to split his time, prone to bouts of inspiration that he’d have to work through until it was spent which meant long days and nights in the office. Apparently that was not a recipe for a fruitful marriage.
But then he did meet someone. She was his opposite in many ways. She was loud and friendly where he could be withdrawn and shy, she loved to go out and meet new people when he preferred quiet nights in. She shook him out of his comfort zone and he tethered her to earth. It should have made sense. For Murph at the time, it did. And she was different from the others: she stuck around. She became part of the family, finding her place among them easier than even Murph had. In many ways, she was a lot like his brother, the magnetic type that you couldn’t help but be drawn in by. And she encouraged him to reach for more.
So, two years later, he did. In 2016, he took another leap of faith— this time he bet on himself. He had an idea for an app that he believed was missing in the market. Something with an easily navigable interface that could connect people with small jobs or other needs. He called it SideQuest, a nod to his love of games. He found an investor in the form of an old college acquaintance and secured himself a team. Not having to worry about the money aspect, Murph threw himself into his work. Watching his vision come to fruition might have been the most exciting thing to ever happen to him, and on a particularly good day a year into development, he decided to take another big leap. He asked his girlfriend to marry him.
He wished he could say that the worst thing she told him was no. No he could have handled with grace. No would have made sense when he removed himself from the situation and really thought about their compatibility. But it was so much worse than no. Because, as it turned out, she had fallen in love with his brother. Honestly, he should have seen it coming. He’d been the Other Bloom his entire life, it just made sense that two beams of light might intersect and leave him lost in the shadows they cast. When they got engaged only a year later, it crushed him. Even as he realized that he’d never felt an ounce of the passion for their relationship that he had for his job. It was only that that kept him afloat, throwing himself into his work in a full tilt.
Until that was taken from him too. His friend had seen the potential for SideQuest, and with the work on it mostly done, Murph was strong-armed into parting ways with the company. He had no financial stake in the company and iron clad contracts stated in fine print they had the right to claim his work for their own. Technically, they didn’t owe him anything. But they were ‘gracious’ enough to cut him a very sizable check. One that could have meant he’d never have to work again.
He felt defeated. And when he met a beautiful woman in a bar, he was wary, guarded now in ways he’d never been before. He was uninterested in putting himself out there to be ruined again. But she was persistent, and in the end, he was weak. She made him realize that he’d been wrong to think that anything he’d ever had before could have held a candle to love. Real love. She fit seamlessly into his life, breathing color back into his world. He allowed himself to be swept away in her current. They married, even beating his brother down the aisle, and for five years, they were happy.
And then, he learned the truth. It was hard to believe she might have invested five years of her life just to take half of everything he owned, but it was impossible to ignore the proof. And it made sense, in the end.
Because he was Murph. And anything that could go wrong, would.
Anything that could go wrong, did.
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VMA Performances With Links
Photo Credit: Christopher Polk for Billboard
Who performed at the 2024 VMA's and what songs did they sing? Keep reading to find out! <3
Anitta: Savage Funk, Alegria, and Paradise. Watch her performance here!
Benson Boone: Beautiful Things. Watch him perform here!
Camilia Cabello: June Gloom and Godspeed. Watch her performance here!
Chappell Roan: Good Luck, Babe! Watch her perform here!
Eminem: Houdini and Somebody Save Me Watch his performance here!
Glorilla: Yeah Glo and TGIF. Watch her perform here!
Halsey: Ego. Watch her performance here!
Jessie Murph: Wild Ones and I Hope it Hurts. Watch her perform Wild Ones here! Watch her perform I Hope it Hurts here!
Karol G: Si Antes Te Hubiera Conocido. Watch her performance here!
Katy Perry: Roar, ET, I Kissed a Girl, He's Mine I'm His, Dark Horse, California Girls, Teenage Dream, Firework, Lifetimes. Watch her perform here!
Lenny Kravitz: Are You Gonna Go My Way, Human, Fly. Watch His performance here!
Le Sserafim: 1-800-hot-n-fun and Crazy Watch them perform 1-800-hot-n-fun here! Watch them perform Crazy here!
Lisa: New Woman and Rockstar. Watch her performance here!
LL Cool J: Headsprung, Going Back to Cali, and Bring Back the Noise. Watch him perform here!
Megan Thee Stallion: BOA, HISS, B.A.S, and Mamushi. Watch her performance here!
Rauw Alejandro: Touching the Sky, Diluivo, and Defame Entrar. Watch him perform here!
Sabrina Carpenter: Please Please Please, Taste, Espresso. Watch her performance here!
Shawn Mendes: Nobody Knows. Watch him perform here!
Teddy swims: Lose Control and The Door. Watch him perform Lose Control here! Watch him perform The Door here!
That is all for the 2024 VMA performers! If I messed up on something (what they sang or put the wrong link), let me know!
#aesthetic#blog#girl blogger#spotify#swiftie#taylor swift#sabrina carpenter#vmas 2024#mtv#mtv vmas#vmas#fangirl blog#fangirl#shawn mendes#camila cabello#chappell roan
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I listened to the Thiala fight while watching Frozen 2: a research study
Idea curtesy of Alli @operationslipperypuppet
Spoilers for Frozen 2 and the Bahumia finale beneath the cut!
I am more than aware no one asked me to do this. But I have nothing better to do with my time, so, to quote the wise words of a gameshow host: without further ado let’s begin.
Research Question and Methods:
I’m not a science person by any means, but I feel it best to approach this in an academic manor. My research question was “How well do Frozen 2 and the Thiala fight line up?” and my methods for finding this answer was to play them both at the same time. I started the podcast at the time stamp 58:48, (thank you Alli for providing that) which is when Murph calls for the rolling of initiative, and I skipped past the opening credits of Frozen 2, pressing play on the movie on the 47 second mark.
My findings:
Here is a brief list describing the moments that lined up best between Frozen 2 and the Thiala fight.
Hardwon deals 297 points of damage while in Frozen 2 the land of the Northuldra is covered in a fog that traps everyone inside.
Galad shows up at the same time that the title for Frozen 2 appears on screen.
There is a comment made about how Galad needs to blow his nose, and simultaneously Anna touches Olafs nose on screen.
The Old Cobb flashback is very stressful but makes for a much better listening experience than what the movie wants you to be listening to at this time, which is Olafs “When I’m Older”song. Old Cobb is being hurt while Olaf is being… not hurt per se but put in situations for sure
The Galad attack that drops Hardwon in the same way Galad killed his father happens at the same time as Olaf talks about Elsa and Anna’s parents dying
Galad dies before Olaf, during the lost in the woods song in Frozen 2
Murph explains how Thiala lost humanity and gained control of full god powers as Elsa tames the water ice horse
I was hoping Thiala second form would happen with Elsa’s outfit change but unfortunately that’s not what happened
Spirit shroud happens as Olaf dies
There is a swing and a crit on Hardwon as the dam in Frozen 2 breaks
Erlin comes back at the same time as Elsa
Conclusion:
How well do Frozen 2 and the Thiala fight line up? Well… not great. This may be due in part to the way I synchronized the pieces, I wonder if I should have watched the opening credits of Frozen 2 instead of skipping them, or instead of starting from the call for initiative worked backwards from the time stamp the Thiala fight ends so I could make sure the two pieces of media were exactly the same length. As it stands Frozen 2 is about 10-15 minutes shorter than the Thiala fight, depending on whether or not you count the credits of Frozen 2.
I had a very fun time doing this experiment though! I genuinely love both Frozen 2 and NADDPod so this was great. If anyone wants to run this same study and see if they get the same results, or change the method a bit to see if it lines up better please do so and let me know how it goes!
#this took me a hot minute to write up but I’ve finally done it!#I don’t know why I did it but I did it#cienna talks#naddpod#bahumia#frozen 2#Olaf dies in frozen 2#naddpod c1#thiala
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KOE WETZEL FT. JESSIE MURPH - HIGH ROAD"
youtube
Surely someone in the Auntie Anne's dynasty is also an aspiring musician...
[4.80]
Grace Robins-Somerville: It’s getting hard for me to keep track of the bearded Top 40 country singer guys—your Lukes and Zachs and Bryans and such. It wasn’t familiar with either of these artists before hearing this song, so the first thing I thought was that they’re just making up people, and the second was a half-assed attempt to come up with a joke about how Koe Wetzel is a nepo baby because he must be the heir to the Wetzel’s Pretzels fortune. As for Jessie Murph, the fried, spindly baby-voice thing has been unbearable for years. But maybe in a month or two I’ll hear this song on the radio at Cook Out while I’m stoned on a weeknight and be charmed by it, who knows. [4]
Katherine St. Asaph: This seemingly innocuous song has produced a serious contender for stupidest beef of the year (and yet somehow not the stupidest beef in Koe Wetzel's career). Wetzel, a Texan country artist, released a duet with Murph, a TikTok-grown pop artist and Wetzel's labelmate on Columbia Records. For this, the two artists (but mostly Murph) received an amount of online hate that was startling even by easily offended country music fan standards. Why this song, and not, say, Florida Georgia Line collaborating with Bebe Rexha or Morgan Wallen collaborating with Post Malone or Koe Wetzel collaborating with Diplo and Kodak Black (o what a nexus of awfulness)? These cancellable sins, apparently: the duet wasn't supposed to be a duet (source: trust me bro), the duet is too pop (you don't write a song with Amy Allen if you're not making pop), Murph's voice is too scratchy (I actually like how she blows "indie girl voice" out into the red), or that old classic, "there's just something I don't like about her." The sheer whininess of it all makes me like this more. Good news for shit people, though: there's a solo version out. This release, a standard tactic that record labels use to juice their streaming playcounts and pander to radio programmers who're terrified of pop or rap verses in their rotation, is being taken as a capitulation by the haters and even by the artists. "I don’t have to deal with Koe Wetzel fans calling me a rat anymore," Murph said. When fans go low, they go high, I guess. [6]
Nortey Dowuona: amy allen miss challenge - failed [7]
Ian Mathers: I'm sorry, I'm just too hung up on the way that none of the songwriters here appear to have any idea what "the high road" means, idiomatically. Or if it's supposed to be ironic/sarcastic, someone forgot to tell the performers. [3]
Will Adams: I enjoy the joke: dude claims to be taking the high road but is in fact just drowning his sorrows in bourbon. But neither Wetzel nor Murph lean into the humor enough, playing it dead serious and dead boring. There's really nothing else besides those distracting flat notes. [5]
Alfred Soto: The rake at my karaoke bar who brings a different young woman every visit loves singing "Drinkin' Problem" and other solid contemporary country. I can see him singing the male part here, down to the self-effacing manner in which he'll run his fingers through his wan mullet. "I don't need a ticket to your shit show" is not a thing the gentlemen he poses as would say, though. [7]
Jonathan Bradley: Whatever his outlaw inclinations, Koe Wetzel has a whole lotta nothing to say and no good way to say it. I don't mind country mining alt rock for inspiration, because alt rock has soundtracked the boonies for the past couple decades; there's no point pretending this is an artificial -- or novel -- intrusion. But if a country artist is going to sell me Staind crossed with Daughtry, I'd like some narrative, some feeling, something more than weed references to tell me why their particular story is worth heeding. Jessie Murph, to her credit, has some vocal fry and she extracts a lot of personality from that creaky voice. She doesn't have any more material to work with than Wetzel, so all that personality is left to sit and stew but, for the duration of her verse, "High Road" finds an extra dimension. [4]
Taylor Alatorre: That watery early 2000s guitar tone as homing beacon for the kind of subterranean post-industrial sickness that can only be properly transcribed at a 6th-grade level -- otherwise known as the key signature of Madden NFL 2003 -- still has its disciples. Koe Wetzel uses it here only as a garnish, not wanting to disturb his staid country duet in which, surprise, both sides are at fault and the title infrastructure doesn't actually exist. I wish he had gone with his instincts and let the post-grunge infection spread a little more, at least to give Jessie Murph a stronger platform for her acidic put-downs. [5]
Kristen S. Hé: Wetzel's warm baritone and Murph's Bhad Bhabie-Taryn Manning squawk: oil and water, but probably more memorable for it? [4]
Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: Post Malone and Morgan Wallen have more chemistry than this. These two have taken a perfectly good emo revival guitar tone and done some slam poetry bullshit over it, junking the track up with mixed metaphors and remedial melodrama. [3]
[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]
#koe wetzel#jessie murph#music#music writing#music reviews#country#country music#music criticism#the singles jukebox#Youtube
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The result’s are in! Here are the rankings:
1. Mother Goose - 49.9%
This is actually the lowest it went for the whole poll! Mother Goose hovered at a solid 50% for most of this, even reaching a high of 52%! It’s no surprise considering that Mother Goose could not have antagonized Rapunzel more. I mean, what would you do if someone told you that you might be able to work on being less unnerving if you wrote in a journal for a decade? I’d probably want to choke that guy to death too!
2. Gerard - 31%
To no one’s surprise, this is second place! This is when it started to get really unhinged. While the failure of this interaction was mostly due to Murph’s absolutely horrific rolls, he certainly played to character. We all watched Gerard destroy his marriage singlehandedly and that sure was awkward!
3. Pib - 13.8%
This one is our dark horse. While many people have claimed that Pib did nothing wrong and should have been the one handling social interactions, I think this choice proves them wrong. I mean, why not just give Cinderella her book? Why make another enemy? What would they even have done if they had trapped her? The party burned a bridge they definitely didn’t need to burn here. You could argue that technically this wasn’t a social interaction, I guess, but the point still stands- no player was free from dumbassery in this episode of L’s.
4. Pinocchio - 2.5%
Now that we’re looking outside the obvious choices, our percentages are dropping dramatically. I think this was probably the funniest party of the episode. All in all, I think what makes this convo especially bad is Pinocchio accidentally revealing that they have her book and then trying to stop her from getting it. The imagery of simultaneous gum-chewing and cigar-smoking is certainly something I’ll never forget.
5. Ylfa - 2%
This interaction didn’t go too badly, so it’s no surprise it’s near the bottom. It is what started the path to absolute insanity, so we have to give credit where credit is due. I think the ass-sniffing was really the cherry on top.
6. Rosamund - 1%
Maybe because they’d had previous conversations, or maybe because it was princess to princess, but this one was mostly only mildly uncomfortable. Rosamund’s two mistakes were telling Snow that she’d talked to her friends about the “burn it all down” plan and also telling her they were going to take a little jaunt to Snowhold. It ended up with her trying to justify leaving with the most absurd metaphor about piña coladas. Sorry Rosamund- at least you didn’t call her unnerving?
Thank you to everyone who participated in this poll!!
Truly a smorgasbord of terrible interactions
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just like old times
pairing: mcu!Peter Parker x reader
summary: Y/N runs into an old friend when returning home after a long time
warnings: none I think? I could be wrong tho so lmk if I missed anything!
a/n: I don’t think I’ve ever been so excited yet so concerned for a movie than I am for Spider-Man: No Way Home—like I’m genuinely terrified but so pumped for it
(gif found on google, credits to owner)
also yay i finally figured out how to do more than just write things on tumblr :D
Being back in New York after three, almost four years was weird. You hadn’t been home in such a long time, you almost missed being shoved around on the subway on your way back to Queens.
Your first order of business, even before visiting your parents, was to swing by Delmar’s, because holy shit, did you miss those sandwiches. Delmar’s Deli-Grocery was your go-to afterschool snack place with your then best friend Peter Parker. You and Peter went there so often, Mr. Delmar knew both your orders by heart. Sadly, you’d fallen out of touch with Peter after you graduated high school, but Delmar’s brought back good memories of splitting sandwiches and gummy worms with an old friend.
The bell above the door rang as you walked into the corner bodega, and you beelined straight for the counter. Murph the cat was curled up where he always was, rubbing his head against your hand when you scratched him behind the ears like you used to.
“Hi there, what can I—ay Dios mío!” Mr. Delmar emerged from the back, eyes widening when they landed on you. “Little Y/N L/N? Is that you?”
“Hi, Mr. Delmar!” You laughed. He rounded the counter, gathering you in a warm hug. Mr. Delmar might’ve looked a little older—as you were sure you did too—but his hugs were just like you remembered.
“It’s been so long, kid! How’ve you been? How’s college?” Mr. Delmered peppered you with question after question as he made your sandwich, and it was good that nobody else was waiting, because you ended up telling him all about your college experience so far. “Hey, do you still talk to Peter?”
“I actually haven’t kept in touch with him for a while.” You said awkwardly, shifting from foot to foot.
“Aw, I’m sorry to hear that. You two were quite the pair.” Mr. Delmar frowned, sliding your sandwich across the counter. “Between you and me, the guys and I had a bet on when you and Peter would get together.”
Your cheeks grew hot at his words, but honestly it wasn’t the first time someone had brought up the topic of you and Peter dating. Back in high school, the two of you spent so much time together, even your parents thought the two of you were a thing. You weren’t, but there was a period of time where you did have a tiny crush on Peter. It never really panned out though, and then you just fell out of contact with him.
“I hope you didn’t lose too much money, Mr. Delmar.” You chuckled, tossing a bag of gummy worms on the counter before handing him a twenty and telling him to keep the change.
“Well, you never know. Maybe you’ll bump into him while you’re here and fall in love like in those cheesy romance movies my wife loves.” Mr. Delmar shrugged, wiggling his eyebrows. “If that happens, be sure to give ol’ Delmar a visit, sí? Help me get my money back, eh?”
“You got it, sir.” You humored the old man, grabbing your food and reaching over the counter to give him another hug. “It was nice seeing you again!”
“While you’re here, don’t be a stranger, kiddo. I miss my favorite customer!”
After assuring Mr. Delmar you’d come back at least once before you left town, you exited the market. You were probably just going to eat on the way to your parents’ place, and you were really looking forward to it.
You pulled your phone out of your bag to shoot your mom a text that you were coming, rounding the corner only to run right into someone heading the other way. Your phone clattered to the ground, causing you to swear.
“Oh man, I’m so sorry—” A hand reached down to pick up your phone, and when you looked up to thank them, you were met with a familiar pair of brown eyes. “Y/N?”
“Peter!” You blurted, eyes widening. What were the odds that right after you’d been talking about him with Mr. Delmar, you’d run into him on the street?
He looked pretty much the same as he did when you saw him last, just a little taller and hair a little longer, but still the same Peter you remembered.
“Hey!” He beamed at you, handing your phone back to you. “Wow, it’s been so long since we’ve seen each other! How are you?”
“Good, good, yeah! I’m just visiting my folks for a little bit.” You nodded, feeling his ever present cheeriness already rubbing off on you. “How are you? How’s May?”
“We’re good too, yeah.” Peter bobbed his head. “You look great, by the way. I see you finally got over your hate of wearing your glasses.” He observed, gesturing to your face. You laughed, pushing your glasses up on your nose. “They’re cute.”
“Thank you, Peter. You look great too.” His eyes flicked down to the sandwich and gummy worms tucked under your arm, smiling a bit sadly as he remembered your usual after school routine from years ago.
You don’t know what possessed you to speak next—maybe it was the nostalgia of seeing Peter again—but words that came out of your mouth next surprised even you. “Hey, do you wanna split these like old times? If you’re not busy, I mean. We could catch up a little bit.”
“Yeah! Yeah, I’d like that.” A big grin split Peter’s face as he nodded a tad too enthusiastically. Your smile mirrored his as you fell into step with each other, your old route pretty much burned into the backs of your brains. Your heart even gave a little jump when Peter looped his arm through yours like he always used to do.
Crumpled wrappers and a few hours later, you and Peter had been sprawled out on the grass in Central Park catching up and trading stories about the past few years, your stomach hurting from how much Peter had made you laugh.
Unfortunately, it was starting to get dark, and you were due at your parents’ house for dinner. Peter, being the gentleman that he was, had insisted he walk you there. So now here you were, listening to Peter rave about how good the newest Star Wars movie was as you walked through the streets of Queens, and it felt like you were back in high school again.
“Hey, you okay?” Peter’s voice drew you out of your nostalgic thoughts, and you turned your head to see him peering at you with concern in his warm brown eyes. “Am I talking too much? I’m so sorry, I—”
“No, no! I was just...thinking.” You assured him.
“Oh. Okay. Penny for your thoughts?”
“I...I had a lot of fun today, Peter. With you.” You admitted, to which his lips quirked up into a smile. “But it made me wonder, why did we stop talking in the first place?”
Peter’s smile faltered a bit, and he shoved his hands into the pockets of his jacket. “I don’t know, honestly.” He sighed after a little while, shoulders sagging. “I guess we just grew apart.”
“Well, let’s not do that again, yeah? I missed having that annoying Peter Parker optimism in my life.”
“I so didn’t miss your cynicism.” Peter snorted, rolling his eyes. “But I did miss you, Y/N.”
“Do you wanna come over for dinner? My parents would love to see you.” You offered, tilting your head at him. “And mom’s making your favorite.”
“Pad thai???” He gasped, eyes going wide. You nodded. “Oh my god, yes!”
You’d never expected to run into Peter Parker ever again, but you were really glad that you did, because now you were on your way to having your best friend back.
#peter parker#peter parker x reader#mcu!peter parker x reader#peter parker x y/n#spiderman#peter parker imagine#spiderman nwh#spiderman homecoming#spiderman far from home#tom holland#marvel mcu#mcu!peter parker
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Inhale, Exhale (by quill_and_ink)
It's my absolute pleasure to present the playlist I worked on and the accompanying fic that Katie (quill_and_ink on AO3) created for the Shadowhunters Reverse Bang 2022, presented by the @malecdiscordserver over on discord.
You can find the fic itself right here and I would highly recommend reading it. Katie is an amazing storyteller and deserves all the love and credit for this wonderful work of fiction. Working with her was such a pleasure and I'm so happy with the final result <3
And here's a quick summary of her story if you guys want a little teaser:
For Alexander Gideon Lightwood, he's not sure what grief might have been like under different circumstances. Unfortunately, the only type of grief he's allowed to experience is just nothingness, shoving it all down and hiding it behind the myriad locks and keys of his mind and pretending it didn't exist... because to the rest of the world, it didn't. A story of love, loss, and finding your way back to a new normal - and how your whole world can change by sheer chance.
The playlist is open to the public on spotify, right here! But for those of you who just want to take a look at the titles and see if anything is of interest to you, I'll list the details of the song down below.
Heaven's Not Too Far by We Three
Fourth of July by Sufjan Stevens
In The Stars by Benson Boone
Train Wreck by James Arthur
Pray by Jessie Murph
I Can't Carry This Anymore by Anson Seabra
Dear Happy by Gabrielle Aplin
this is me trying by Taylor Swift
Feel Something by Jaymes Young
Colder by Nina Nesbitt
Please Don't Say You Love Me by Gabrielle Aplin
Someone You Loved by Lewis Capaldi
Falling by Harry Styles
Butterflies by Abe Parker
Ease My Mind by Ben Platt
I GUESS I'M IN LOVE by Clinton Kane
Three by Sleeping At Last
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if you ever wanted to talk about the usage of growing pains, i would be all ears. obviously no pressure or expectation tho
oh boy DO i want to talk about the use of growing pains! (also called drained.) (actually, more often called drained, but i like growing pains as a name better, and if murph's going to credit names inconsistently i'm going to take liberties. sue me, brian.)
so, growing pains is used in two places: the shadowfell arc in bahumia, and sirenloch in eldermourne. no c3 uses yet* (small disclaimer about that under the cut, along with timestamps of the uses)
there's a reason i like "growing pains" as a name. growing pains is this song that comes up for... the pain of change. growth and love can be good, but it also hurts.
growing pains is for trying to find a way to save vampire!hardwon, it's for rosa's urn being broken (and deadeye saying he'll help rebuild the church), it's for deadeye fading away, lydia being missing when scrying on her (and moonshine lying to hardwon about it), and moonshine breaking down after she learns about her father from erdan (and hardwon/bev/paw paw finding her).
it's for henry realizing that he was looking at his past with rose colored glasses, and for zirk cutting stella off with a final goodbye and a rope trick.
growing pains is a song that says love can't change things. y'know, deadeye's help can't bring rosa back. and he was going to die the moment he was freed. moonshine lying to hardwon doesn't make lydia okay. there's nothing moonshine can do to change jolene being turned away by erdan. henry loved izzy, and she loved the idea of him. zirk can care for stella, and know she's bad for him.
but... it also says that the love matters. like. choosing to care, choosing to love, choosing to offer kindness, it matters. hardwon's friends don't give up on him when he's turned. deadeye remembers how to be kind, and then dies feeling more love than he's felt in decades. hardwon knows moonshine cares; moonshine doesn't have to cry alone. izzy and henry didn't work out, but there's hank jr. stella takes to the road, not the scales.
it can't change everything. but it's worth something.
perhaps my favorite use of growing pains (and the one that i think describes the song best) is the one that starts as deadeye fades: "yeah, i know i'm down a hand, and an eye, and a life, but i got a soul, and a family, and i finally know which is worth more."
(as a side note, it's interesting to me that the eldermourne take on growing pains is... more bleak than the bahumia one. like, izzy and henry. stella and zirk. as much love as henry and zirk give, it's a two way street. izzy wasn't forced into divorcing henry, she chose different priorities. and if stella doesn't choose to change, zirk can't force her. but the thing about it with those two is... it still matters to zirk and henry. that they loved. that they tried. so yeah, it's still worth something.)
(a secondary side note is that growing pains has a best friend (song it's often used with) called gutless. which, despite the name, is actually much more optimistic than growing pains. i'm not going to get into all the uses here, but it is used a lot in the shadowfell especially for deadeye and vampire!hardwon when they are letting themselves love and be loved-- like deadeye coming around, or hardwon having a heart to heart with the boobs where moonshine offers to reincarnate him. it's also used for zirk in early eldermourne, as he remembers the kind of person he was around stella and the flashback to that little girl when he knew it needed to change.)
(*c3 disclaimer is that, while there's no credited uses of growing pains/drained in c3, it's possible that there is an uncredited one that i haven't gotten to yet, since i'm not done going through and taking music notes on c3)
growing pains uses:
61 - 1:16:21 - Talking about ways to save Vampire Hardwon
63 - 1:00:56 - Rosa's urn is broken / Deadeye agrees to help rebuild the church
64 - 2:31:08 - Deadeye starts to die / fade
68 - 17:51 - Scrying on Lydia, but not seeing her
68 - 1:22:56 - Moonshine cries after learning about her dad and gets a hug from Erdan and Bubbles
68 - 1:24:07 - Paw Paw, Hardwon, and Bev find Moonshine crying
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28 - 44:23 - Henry remembers his relationship with Izzie (the rose-colored glasses he's been using)
28 - 46:54 - Henry remembers his jean jacket (the rose-colored glasses he's been using) -- (this is a joke use. i'm including it for completion's sake but i want to be so clear this is a joke.)
29 - 43:32 - Zirk says goodbye to Stella
#naddpod#naddmusic tag#good song. i love this song.#hanbles#ask#i DO appreciate you giving me the out of not talking abt it if i didn't want to. the thing is tho.#i am literally always 2 seconds away from writing an essay on a naddpod song#if anyone says to me hey what's up with this song i will simply talk for like 10 paragraphs#this is the joy of how good the music in this podcast is
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Safer Behind It - Newt x Reader(f)
Authors Notes: Well here it is my first Maze Runner fic! Hopefully y'all like it, or at least don’t hate it. This is based on moments from The Scorch Trials (book). Bold words are direct quotes from the book. I do not take any credit for Dashner’s work.
Word Count: 1.7k
Notes/Warnings: mentions of injuries, mentions of violence, mentions of trauma (from the maze), some fluff and angst if you look hard enough.
Masterlist
Jorge found them after the lightning storm. Eleven new faces in the building on the outskirts of town. You listened as Jorge gave them the rundown of how things were going to go. When he called for the rest of you, you followed Brenda close.
You and Brenda hadn’t known each other too long but she was good and you trusted Jorge more than anything.
One of the new kids- a boy with dark hair- asked for a few minutes with Jorge.
“Me and you,” The kid begged. He stood over another boy who looked like he had been fried by lightning. Maybe he had, that storm was brutal.
“Ten minutes. Alone. That’s all I ask.” He went on.
You were surprised when Jorge agreed. He must have seen something in the kid you didn’t.
He told you and the others to watch this new group and to kill them if they made any moves. You knew he was being dramatic, adding the threat of death to remind the other Cranks behind you that he was in charge.
One of the boys you were supposed to be watching caught your eye. He was blonde and thin. He had a limp - you’d noticed it as he walked over and checked on the others in his group.
Brenda caught you staring at him. “Careful, Y/N.” She said quietly so the Cranks couldn’t hear her.
You rolled your eyes. “I can handle myself.”
“He’s not gonna like it if you don’t keep up the facade.”
“What’s he gonna do, have you run me through?” You tested.
You saw the twitch of a smirk at the corner of her mouth. “Just don’t be stupid.”
You tugged up on the thin, tan, scarf that covered your nose and mouth. You didn’t like it to be down.
You walked over to the limping boy. You say boy, but really he was near your age if not a bit older. “You need to sit down,” you told him.
He looked at you carefully. “I’m just making sure these guys are alright.”
His voice sounded funny but you kinda liked it.
“I’m not going to ask again.” you drew the makeshift dagger you had from where it usually was sheathed at your lower back.
He sighed but sat on the hard concrete next to the fried boy. He pulled a knee to his chest and mumbled, “Bloody shank girl.”
You smirked at that.
“What’s your name?” You asked him.
He looked up at you and there was no hiding the annoyance in his eyes. “Newt.”
“Newt?” You almost laughed. “Like the lizard?”
The boy next to him chuckled.
“No.” Newt huffed. “Like Issac Newton.”
“I think I like my reason better, lizard boy.”
“Hey!” One of the Cranks behind you caught your attention. It was an older man, you didn’t know his name but you knew you didn’t like him. “What are you talkin’ so much about?”
“None of your business, old man.” You turned to him and left no room for him to think you might be afraid of him, which you weren’t.
“Back off, Murph.” Brenda said calmly as she whacked the flat side of her machete on his chest. “Let her have some fun before we rip them to shreds.”
It seemed to tide him over and he walked away but not before he stared you down again.
You rolled your eyes when his back was turned and exhaled a silent groan. You looked to Brenda.
She had her eyebrows raised and was clearly waiting for you to say,
“Thank you.” You muttered.
“Mhm.” She grinned. You knew she’d never say it out loud but she was starting you like having you around.
You turned back to Newt and crouched down, your sharpened letter opener gripped tightly in your hand. “So, tell me, Newt, What brings you out into the Scorch?”
“Don’t tell her klunk, dude.” The burnt boy said with spunk.
“I bet you’re the fun one.” You teased him, “You look like garbage. What happened to you?”
“He got struck by lightning,” Newt answered, “Or close to it anyways.”
“Yikes.” You responded. You’d been right.
“Didn’t even hurt.” He lied.
“Shuck off, Minho. You’re not fooling anyone.” Newt rolled his eyes.
“Screw you, man.” Minho all but pouted.
“Why do you cover your face?” Newt asked, ignoring his friend. “No sun in here.”
You paused but tried to cover it and said, “So you don’t get distracted by how pretty I am.”
He smirked at that.
He had a nice smile. It lit up his eyes.
You stood up quickly and walked back to Brenda. Why did you care what his smile was like?
“You good?” She asked low again.
“Fine.” You lied. Actually you were scared by how much you were starting to like Newt. No sense in hurting yourself by getting attached.
Jorge and the dark haired boy reappeared from down the back hall.
Jorge told everyone that he, Brenda and yourself were going to take these few to get some food and that you’d all meet back up at the tower.
You didn’t know what he was planning but it had to be something, because he was putting on quite a show. He mentioned cutting off Minho’s fingers for punching him earlier and you honestly thought he might be serious about that part.
The other Cranks left and you walked behind Brenda as she led the way to the tunnels where you had hid the stash of food.
You helped pass out cans of food and watched as Brenda sat by Thomas - you’d recently learned his name.
You looked around, wondering where to settle amongst these new boys and found Newt looking at you.
“Here goes nothin’” you muttered to yourself beneath your mask.
You made your way over and sat against the wall beside him.
“Enjoying the meal?” You asked. He sure looked like he was.
He nodded, mouth full of cold beans.
“When was the last time you ate?” You realized that he, and everyone else that he’d come with, were eating like they’d been starved.
“Not but a few days ago,” He said when he’d finally swallowed. “But we were out in that bloody heat for so long.” His eyes stared into nothing for a moment and you could tell he was reliving something awful.
“How long were you actually out there?”
“Three, four, five days,” he asked himself. “I’m not sure.”
“Where did you come from?”
“You ask a lot of questions.” He returned to the present and out of the bad memories he’d been replaying. You watched him plaster on a smirk.
There was that smile again. You were glad your cheeks were covered because you were pretty sure you were blushing.
“Do I get to ask you any?”
You nodded, “Sure.”
“Why do you wear that over your face?” He repeated.
“Why do you care?”
His head ticked to the side. You’d asked another question.
You relented. “I already told you.”
“But we both know that wasn’t the truth.” He said before taking another bite.
You sombered and sighed. You were trying to find the words.
“I only partly lied.” You finally said.
Newt stopped eating and shocked you with what he said next. “I’m sorry. It’s none of my business if you don’t want to talk about it.”
It was so...considerate of him to say that. It had been a long time since anyone other that Jorge was considerate to you. Even Brenda was harsh when you’d met her and she still makes comments about it.
The look in your eyes must have revealed something to him.
“You really don’t have to tell me.”
For some reason you did, though. Maybe it was his soft voice, maybe it was the random kindness he’d displayed, but suddenly, you wanted to show him. Almost like a test to see if he was genuinely kind at heart.
You slipped your index finger under the cloth near your nose but before you pulled it down you said, “Just...brace yourself.”
You pulled the mask down below your chin, revealing the angry red scar that ran from your upper lip, just below your nose, all the way to your ear, which had a notch missing from it.
Newt barely flinched. He just looked at you.
Your scar had healed thick which made it distort your lip slightly.
“When I was first sent here, after finding out I had the Flare, a crank attacked me with a shard of glass. He got me pretty good but Jorge was there and he saved me. He couldn’t do much to make me look better, though.” You pulled your mask back up. “Most people just stare at it, instead of me. So, I cover it up.”
“You shouldn’t.” He offered a hint of a smile as he switched to his second can of food. “Nothing wrong with the way you look.”
You sat stunned.
“I broke my leg in three places. That’s why I have a limp. Do you only see the limp when you look at me?” He asked.
You shook your head, unable to think of anything to say.
He shrugged his shoulders. “See?”
You bit down a smile that threatened to spread across your mouth. Good thing your mask was on.
“I’m sorry I called you lizard boy.” You felt bad for teasing him, now.
“Don’t worry about it. I’ve been called worse.”
The two of you sat in silence for a short while. Then, you wondered something.
“What’s a shank?”
He chuckled, “Just something we say. Why?”
“Back in the building you called me a ‘bloody shank girl’.”
His cheeks flushed and he stared down at the can he was eating from. “Sorry.”
“So, shank isn’t nice then?”
“Depends…” He smirked, almost embarrassed he’d said that about you.
“And here I thought you were soft.”
He looked at you. “Nope, just wrong on occasion.”
“I’m Y/N, by the way.” You suddenly realized you’d never told him your name and now you wanted him to know it. To say it.
“Nice to meet you, Y/N.” He paused a moment before adding, “ I have a feeling I won’t regret it.” He glanced over at you again.
“You won’t.” You promised.
* * * * * * * *
TMR Tags:
@mo320
#tmr#the maze runner#the scorch trials#newt x reader#reader x newt#new muse#tmr newt imagine#tmr newt x reader#tmr thomas#tmr minho#brenda#jorge
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Truth Serum for Murphy: What is his biggest pet peeve with Laura? And why??
Murph exhaled slowly, closing his eyes for a moment. Biggest pet peeve with Laura? There were several candidates. Re-opening them, he leaned back in his chair and rubbed the heel of his hand against his forehead. “Honestly? It’s her obsession with getting herself recognized. Now don’t get me wrong…this isn’t some sexist ‘women should be seen and not heard’ bull and I know everyone wants to be recognized for their work. That’s a natural reaction. Only Laura…takes it way too far sometimes. I mean….way too far…”
He blew out a breath and his hand moved down to rub at his eyes, feeling a compulsion to unburden his soul. “We wouldn’t even be in this Steele mess right now if she didn’t get so obsessed with getting credit for her work. Sure, Havenhurst wasn’t great and her agency was having trouble getting off the ground…but this Steele scheme….” He sighed and sank down in his chair. “It’s been nothingbut trouble. I never should have agreed to help her start it up in the first place. As soon as she suggested it, I should have packed my bags and headed for Dallas. But….I couldn’t tell her ‘no’ so I put my common sense on the shelf for a pair of pretty eyes and now here we are. She could have just accepted that it takes time to build a reputable agency…or maybe decided using something like ‘Holt Investigations’ would have been better than ‘Laura Holt Investigations’ but no. She wanted to hit the big times and hit them fast….she wanted the rich clients, her picture in the paper, everyone talking about her agency. Whelp…she’s got that now…but we’ve also got Steele to deal with. Talk about making a deal with the Devil….”
#Muse: Murphy Michaels#Murphy normally is not so forthright about Steele being a scam#but it's also truth serum time soooooo#XD
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