#hi sorry im still evil thanks for your patience and understanding

[trillionstars]

nick & marien & unethical surgery 💉🩸

[imagineswriting47]

Even Demons feel love

A/N: I can't find the request for this one anymore, sorry. This one took on a life of its own, so please let me know what you think

All mistakes are mine and mine alone.

Warnings: Violence, mentions of torture. Death.

Summary: The Reader is a Demon when she meets the boys. But everything goes wrong when Sam finds out that the Reader is one.

Pairings: Kinda Dean/Reader

I quickly stop the demon in front of me from moving before my knife is shoved into its side. I watch the light flicker in its eyes before it goes out, dropping the body to the ground. I move as quietly as possible, killing as many demons as possible. The information I have is that the monster in charge of this group has two Hunters that they plan on killing but not after they torture them first. I might be a demon now, but I wasn't always. I made a deal with a cross-road demon to save someone I loved. I have been told that my contract wasn't like other deals. I never went to Hell and wasn't tortured like others. My soul is black like all demons, but unlike them, I still have my heart, which is something they can never take away from me. And once a hunter, always a hunter, im just a different kind of hunter now. Standing in the doorway of the room where they are holding the two hunters, I lean against the doorframe as the demon gives his evil monolog. I never really understand why they do this. It never ends well for them. "Why do you guys always insist on telling everyone your plan?" I ask the room as I step into it, not wanting to listen anymore to the demon ramble on. Its voice was testing what little patience I had. Nevertheless, it doesn't take me long to deal with the demons in the room. They are rather low-ranking demons and not that smart it's almost too easy to deal with them. I haven't had a decent fight in some time. Everything that I am hunting seems to be getting stupider and stupider. "Hello," I say after the last demon falls; I turn to the two guys tied to chairs. I quickly move to untie them so they can leave now that all the demons are dead. It doesn't take long for me to cut them free. I move to leave the room, wanting to get away from these hunters as fast as I can. "Wait!" I hear him yell behind me as I walk down the hallway. I dont stop walking, pretending that I didn't even hear him. Instead, I start moving faster as I listen to their footsteps behind me. One of them grabs my arm, pulling me to stop walking.

"I'm Sam; this is my brother Dean," Sam tells me as I turn to look at them. I try to keep the shock off my face. I knew I was coming in to help two hunters, but I didn't think it would be the Winchesters. Every demon knows who the Winchester is, and I know that I dont want them to find out that I am also a demon. I dont want to die even as a demon. "Y/N," I tell them, not wanting to be rude. When his hand drops from my arm, I breathe a sigh of relief as they both take a step back from me. "Let us say thanks. Let us get dinner for all of us?" Dean says. "No, thank you. I prefer to be alone." I tell both of them as I take a step back from them. I quickly run from the building and get away from them; I hide in the trees surrounding the building. I can see them looking for me as they come out of the building, but I know that they will not find me, not if I dont want to be found. It doesn't take me long to forget about the interaction with the Winchester and go on with what little of a life I have. I keep hunting and killing every monster I encounter—sitting in a bar after another successful hunt watching all the humans around me. It makes me miss all the things that came with being human. But, when I hear the door open, I watch the people enter the bar. And they are none other than the Winchesters. It doesn't take long for Dean to see me and point me out to Sam. The bar is small, with nowhere to go without them seeing me. I pretend not to see them hoping that they will leave me alone. But when is the universe ever on my side? Finally, they make their way over to me and slide into the seats across from me.

"Hello again," Dean says with a smile on his face. I know they are trying to be kind, but all I can feel is fear. I try to give them a small smile, but it doesn't work from their looks. Looking down at the beer in my hands, I start pulling at the label. "Look, we just want to say thanks for saving our asses a couple of months ago," Dean says, reaching across the table and trying to touch my hand. I move quickly to place both my hands on my lap. "I was just doing my job," I whisper to them, hoping to make myself look smaller and not someone they would want to look into. I want to leave this bar alive without fighting off the Winchesters to survive. But instead, I can see both of them look at me with sad faces. "I'm gonna go," I say to them as I slide out of the booth. Dean grabs my arm as I try to slip by him. "Please don't go." I turn to look at Dean, then down at my arm, where his hand is on me. Looking at their faces, I would have crumbled if I had been human. They both seem to have mastered the puppy eyes, and even as a demon, I can feel myself melt a little. "I- Okay." I retake a seat, facing them. I look at them better than I did when I first met them. They both have kind faces; it makes me miss being human even more. Both of them would have been someone that I would have wanted to be friends with. It doesn't take long for me to fall into an easy conversation with them, forgetting what I am and just feeling kind of human for a moment. By the night's end, I am leaving after giving them both of my numbers in case they need my help. It doesn't take them long after that night to call me, asking me for my help on hunts. Soon after, I traveled with them full time, going from hunt to hunt. Even with my blackened soul, I can't help but start to feel something for Dean. It would have been love if I were still human, but I can no longer feel love. Nothing seems to stay good for me. I was hurt on a hunt; it would have killed me if I had been human. As a demon, it didn't hurt like a bitch, but I pulled the knife out of my side and dropped it to the ground. I didn't know that Sam had been watching me the whole time. "Y/N?" I hear Sam whisper from the doorway. I know my eyes have gone black and show that I am a demon. Sam doesn't take long to get over his shock and move on to me. He moves quicker than I thought he could, throwing some holy water on me, making me scream out in pain as he puts the demon cuffs on me. Hearing me scream, Dean starts running to me, not knowing that Sam is hurting me. Not that I can blame him. "Sam please?" I whisper to him as he holds an angel blade to my neck. It is then that Dean makes his way into the room. "What are you doing!" Dean yells at Sam once he sees what is happening in this room. "She is possessed! I saw her eyes; she screamed when I put holy water on her." Once more, Sam throws more holy water onto me. I can feel my skin start to blister and burn, and I can't stop the whimper that makes its way past my lips. "Please let me explain. It's not…." I try to speak, but Dean cuts me off.

"No, you will get out of her NOW!" Dean yells at me before moving closer to me. Then, he starts to do the exorcism. "No! I don't want to die. Please, Dean, it's me. PLEASE!" They both must hear something in my voice that causes them to stop. "Please. I need your help." As Sam holds the knife to my neck, Dean quickly makes a demon trap before they put me inside of it, so I can't get away. "Explain." It is the only thing that Dean says to me. "It was 1942. My family had been sent to the camps. I managed to get away. But I knew what was coming. I had to save them. A demon was willing to make me deal with me. I saved their lives, but it cost me my soul. They might have my soul, but they dont have my heart. Please, im not evil." "Why should we believe you," Sam asks as he walks around me. "You know me. This whole time I've been a demon. I've never hurt anyone! I've never possessed anyone. This is my body. It always has been. Dean, please. I don't want to die!" "I Believe you," Dean says as he steps into the devil's trap and places his hand against my cheek. I lean into his touch; I can't help it. Dean has always managed to make me feel safe. Sam doesn't know that Dean and I have been seeing each other for months. "We will help you." "Thank you," I whisper to Dean, looking into his eyes. I can't help the tears that start to fall down my face. For the first time, I let them take me to the Bunker; I always managed to give a reason never to go. Of course, this was never how I wanted them to discover that I was a demon, but if anyone could help me, it would be them. I dont know what they have planned for me, but I will do whatever it takes. I want to be me again. It hurts. What they are injecting me with hurts; it feels like lava is being poured into my veins. I can't always help the screams that break past my lips. And whenever it happens, I see Dean flinch as if it is hurting him. "Dean? I'm sorry. I am so sorry!… I-I love you." I whisper at the end; it's the first time I have ever said it to him. It's the first time I am sure of what I am feeling. "Hey. Hey Y/N, you are doing so well. It's almost over." As he says that, Sam pushes another syringe into my neck. The whole time I have been a demon, I have done everything that I could not die, and for the first time, I wish I could die. I must have blacked out from the pain this time; when I open my eyes, I am sitting on Dean's lap. I can see the tears making their way down his face. My hand shakes as I lift my arm, but I manage to wipe the tears from his face. "Dean," I say with a smile on my face.

A/N: please leave a hear and a reblog!

Tag list @akshi8278

[poptod]

Pull the Stars Out of the Sky (And Gift Them to Me), pt. 11, (Ahkmenrah x Reader)

Description: Thunder for the God.

Notes: this is it! the final chapter. I wanna say thank you to a few people cause I rarely ever respond to comments directly, mostly cause i never know what to say, but @diasimar, @edteche2, @moon-stars-soul, @crewman-penelope, @hah0106, thank you so fuckin much for your comments!! it really kept me going while i was working and really motivated me. im rly worried this last chapter is gonna disappoint but i gotta post it at some point! WC: 1.7k

+

A feast was held. Of course it was––the only way Egyptians knew how to celebrate was with plenty of food, plenty of booze, and lots of sex. Already people wrote songs of your exploits, performing them as they waited for you and Ahk to appear in the courtroom now filled to the brim with the people of Memphis. Clashing drums and lutes accompanied by harps and singing voices all came from behind the walls, but the room Ahk prepared himself in remained mostly quiet, occupied only by you and himself. Piye was busy tending to the citizens with the help of Gyasi, who offered his services in helping the now-blind vizier.

"I never thought to see this day," Ahk said softly, staring at his reflection in the mirror. His outfit, which had taken about an hour to get on (plus makeup), left him the striking image of the Pharaoh you had first met––drowned in gold, in gemstones, reeking of rich, spoiled tastes.

"What, that you'd be attending a party in your own honor?" You asked with a chuckle.

"No," he said, turning to you, "I didn't think I'd see you willingly stand beside me."

"I didn't either. I hated you."

"Rightfully so," he mumbled. "I'm sorry, again, for how I treated you."

"You could've been a lot nicer while kidnapping me."

"I know. But you're happy now... right?"

"Yes," you said, grinning. "What would you do if I wasn't?"

"Abandon everything," he said with a careless shrug. "Run away with you. Leave it all behind."

"Even with a feast outside those doors?" You asked as you stepped closer. He took advantage of that, pulling you in by your waist and smiling when your chests met.

"Well, I might have to go to that first. But afterwards, I would go anywhere for you. Do anything. You are mine, now," he said, growing soft as his lips brushed against your temple, "and I have fought long to prove it."

"I think you belong to me more than I belong to you," you chuckled.

"Perhaps you're right," he said, swaying with you to the muted tunes of harpstrings. "I don't mind either way as long as you love me."

"I do," you mumbled.

"Say it," he said, parting from you to look you in the eye. His hand came up to your face, stroking the soft skin of your cheek as he gazed into you, searching for words he had longed for all this time. "Please."

"I love you, Ahk."

There he went again––tears down his face, dripping into and caught by the smile that spread across his rosy lips. He leant in to kiss you, still wet with those salty tears, but you happily returned his affections.

Until his kiss grew deep, devolving into him biting at your neck again, pressing himself against your body till your back inevitably hit a wall. He sandwiched you there, running his hands from your chest to your hips and back up to your face.

"Now then, your people wait for you. Don't disappoint them by not showing up," you warned him, but there was little resolve in your tone, already torn up by the blush pervading your cheeks.

"I'll be quick," he muttered against your skin, followed by a laugh when you groaned.

"But you can also do this later, when you can take your time," you said, but couldn't stop yourself from smiling even as you tried to push him away.

"I can do it twice."

"Ahk!"

"Call my name again, love," he said, drawing away from you with a shit-eating grin.

"We can do this after," you said as you fully pushed him away. "Even during, depending how the evening goes."

"I like how you think," Ahk said, offering his hand to you with a cocked chin raised high. "Ready to go?"

You nodded.

The doors before you opened, and a short walk up to the throne led you to overlook the crowd, scanning over every citizen's face whose eyes fell to you. Without a word spoken from you or Ahk, silence fell in the hall crowded past the brim. Torches flanked either side of the long room, illuminating the moving heads, as well as marking the searing smoke of meat and the plates of food presented out on the many tables.

It was not unlike the feast for Amun, but this time the only human images standing on a podium were you and Ahk. No more golden statues. Now what remained was the Pharaoh in all his glory, glowing as though blessed with an ethereal light, sheer silk with sewn gold cascading from him like a comet trailing the sky.

Once most everyone's attention was on the Pharaoh, he spoke.

"I know that much of my rule has not been through peaceful times," he said, meeting the eyes of every listener. "I thank you all for your patience with me. We have seen the rising of my brother's empire, and it has ended in ruin––we have seen the death of three Pharaohs, myself included."

A quiet laugh murmured through the crowd. Out of the corner of your eye, you spied Piye sticking to the wall by themself. You jogged over, whispering a beckoning, before taking their hand and personally leading them up the pedestal.

"I am sure you have all heard of what I've done. The events that have come to pass. Whether or not you have the whole of the story, or any true part of the story, is what worries me. I want all of you to know why I did what I did––why, exactly, I am not a heretic. You deserve that much."

Ahk spoke as though conversing with an old friend, something you were sure made his approval rating amongst the populace skyrocket. He continued that tone of voice, that familiarity, as he recounted the long events of the past few months, from your appearance in the castle (which he labelled as a gift from the Gods), to Ma'at herself locking Amun into the sky. They all listened closely, believing every word of their loving Pharaoh.

"I did what I did to protect myself, my people, and my friends. They were necessary evils. But now I have Ma'at's blessing, and I take my rightful place as your Pharaoh," he said with a growing confidence that boomed in his projected voice. "I am Ra's Son once more."

An eruption of cheers and shouts burst your ears, and you grinned from ear to ear, glancing to your side to watch for Ahk's reaction. He was smiling as well, prideful as he deserved. Piye held their own small smile as well.

Instruments came back in full swing, humming and thrumming with the vibrations of the tall chamber. Though at first they were the melodies of many songs, playing one after the other without pause, they converged into a tune that filled your head, seeping into the thoughts of every listener. You paid little attention to the words they sang in perfect harmonies till a word caught your attention––your name. Looking out across the citizens of Memphis, of Kemet, you realized they were singing about you.

The fire that reigns on the burning King will never yield to the sword! The spells that remain pour down in the rain as the Nile boils in the sea

What wonders they bring! This thunder for the God, Amoke and the hundreds that sing the name of the God, Amoke

Pray to the earth for a saving grace As the magi searches the planes The dead, they seek The living antique a God of his own who can't rest on his throne Call to the name of the holy

We sing to thee! Sunset for the God, Amoke Sing praise for thee! Thunder for the God, Amoke Thunder for the God, Amoke! The beauty of the God, Amoke!

Your mouth hung open as you watched them sing, ignorant to Ahk, who was now smiling at your shocked expression.

"... and so will you be remembered," Ahk murmured, his arms wrapping around you as he came up behind you. "A God for all of time.”

“My Amoke."

~+~

You had access to great temples––to places of worship hundreds of years old, intricately detailed spells shown on every wall, bases of golden statues littered with flowers and offerings. Instead you stuck to your tiny altar, hidden away in one of the smaller storage rooms not in use. Ahk didn't quite understand it, but he allowed it happily, and left you alone to your devices.

The only item standing on your altar was a tiny statuette in the form of Mahjur. If Ahk found out that was who you were praying to, you weren't sure what he'd do, so for the time being you kept it secret. Besides that, it was nothing more than a table you set incense and tiny plates of food and water on.

It was the only light in the room––the tiny rushlight, the lit incense drawing smoke into the air. Layers of it fell above your head, knelt low in respect of the God who had helped you.

Physical feeling fell away, and in that moment, your forehead pressed to the table, you realized the many prayers you'd sent into the stranger of an underworld were being answered at last.

A single, high note rang in your head as the image of open, glowing eyes pierced your thoughts.

"Is Ahk ssssafe?" They asked in a whisper in your head that you could barely hear.

Yes, you thought, keeping your eyes closed to maintain the connection.

"... you haavvvvve.. other questionss... correct?"

Amun is an all-powerful God, yes?

"Yes."

How did we escape him? How did we hide away? Why did he not pluck me from the sky? How did we survive the ire of a creator God?

"Ahk hasss cccertain experiencess... with Gods. He issss ssssmart. He isss untraceable by annnny Gods' mmagggic."

How? You pleaded.

"He hass died annnnd come back. He issss... undead. No longer human. Nnnnot entirrrrely."

You swallowed thick, forcing yourself not to open your eyes from surprise.

And Piye?

"A mmmmagi. Invvvvissssible. Too... absorbed innn the world.. to see," they hummed, glowing eyes still probing your thoughts.

... and me?

There was silence for a moment, and the eyes blinked, but remained within your head.

"You... are not.. hhhhuman," they whispered.

Your eyes flew open.

What?

––––––

If you want to hear the song I wrote about in this story, I actually recorded it and you can find it here.

[oikawaplssteponme]

The Apartment: part 4

▪️part 1

▪️part 2

▪️part 3

pairing: Kuroo Tetsurou x fem! reader

ratings/warnings: swearing, a little suggestive at times but nothing bad

synopsis: You knew that living with your three best friends, Kuroo, Oikawa, and Bokuto, would be a wild ride. It’s never a dull moment with those three. Let’s just hope you can keep your huge crush on Kuroo a secret when he is only a room away.

a/n: hi friends💕 i had a lot of fun writing this part so i hope you guys like it :)) the taglist is still open so just lmk if you’d like to be added and so are my requests/asks, so don’t be shy and say hi✨ enjoy xx

•

Four: maid outfit

You laid on the couch, staring up at the ceiling. It was far too late for you to be up yet here you were. Not only was the couch uncomfortable, but your head was filled with thoughts that you’d rather not think. You kept thinking about Kuroo. Maybe if you would have just told him that you liked him, he would’ve reacted differently. Or he would have reacted just the same, making you feel worse.

You were stuck in the friendzone. Except the friendzone was quicksand, and you felt there was no possible way out. The air vent blew down on you. You hugged your blanket close to you. You couldn’t understand why you felt like this. It wasn’t like you were planning on telling Kuroo anyway. You said yourself its better to keep things the way they are, so why did you feel so upset? Maybe your feelings for Kuroo were a bit more than a longing crush.

You flipped onto your side, once again regretting your decision to sleep on the couch. Suddenly, you heard footsteps heading for a door. You were surprised someone could be awake at this hour, since everyone had gone to bed way before you. You heard a door open, so you shut your eyes pretending to be asleep. You felt their presence get closer to you. Then you felt what you presumed to be a second blanket, lay on top of you. The footsteps started to move back to their room. You peaked your eyes open, and saw Kuroo, slowly walk back into his room.

~

“Y/N-CHAN!” You were suddenly awoken by a loud voice next to your ear. You jolted up from the couch, causing you to fall onto the floor, still wrapped up in not one, but two blankets.

“Y/N get off the floor. I need you to answer my question,” said Bokuto. You sat up from your fall looking at Bokuto with evil eyes.

“Bokuto I don’t know if anyone has ever told you this but screaming in someone’s ear is NOT the proper way to wake them up,” you growled, rubbing the back of your head. Bokuto rolled his eyes.

“Yeah yeah whatever. Anyway, back to my question,” he said.

“If you didn’t notice dumbass, you asked your question when I was asleep so I didn’t hear you.”

“Okay so I’m going with Akaashi to his writers conference next week and do you think I should pack an extra bag just for snacks or will we buy them along the way? Because sometimes I pack them and then Akaashi says-“

“Bokuto, why on earth would Akaashi bring you to a writers conference?”

“Obviously to keep him company, come on Y/N, keep up with me here.” You groaned and stood up to be look at Bokuto.

“Pack the snacks, we all know you’ll end up eating more than less,” you said, patting his shoulder.

“That’s what Kuroo said too but I don’t trust his opinion.”

Your heart dropped. Right. Kuroo.

“Is- uh- Kuroo awake?” You asked.

“Yeah but he’s having a meeting with his Chemistry professor,” explained Bokuto. You let out a sigh of relief. Suddenly, the events from last night came to mind.

“Wait...is Oikawa awake?” Bokuto looked at you nervously.

“No…”

“Bokuto?”

“He’s in his room,” he muttered. You clenched your fists. You stormed over to your room.

“TORU IM GONNA BEAT THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF YOU!”

You slammed open your door to see Oikawa laying on his bed, using his endless amounts of pillows as shields from your wrath.

“Y/N, my dearest love, let’s be rational here,” he pleaded.

You charged over to him, jumping on his bed and pinned him down.

“Y/N if you wanted to get down and dirty all you had to do was-“

“Oh shut up. You are so lucky that Iwaizumi was here last night or else I would’ve kicked your ass.”

“I know you’re trying to sound threatening but honestly you just sound hor-“

“TORU!” Oikawa sealed his lips together.

“Do you remember what happened last night?” You asked. Oikawa gave you a sarcastic thinking face.

“Hmmm are we talking about the PG stuff that happened or the PG-13 content that occurred after the party-“

“Oh my god why do I even bother with you.” You let go of Oikawa and he sat up to face you.

“I have a horrible feeling that you’re talking about my big mouth from yesterday,” he whispered.

“Yes, that’s exactly what I’m talking about shithead.”

“It is way too early for such vulgar names Y/N.”

“Oikawa!” You were slowly losing your patience.

“Okay okay, yes maybe I slipped up a little. But hey, I gave you a good excuse to confess to Kuroo, so all is well.” You could feel the smoke coming from your ears.

“No it’s not because he turned me down last night!” Oikawa’s eyes grew.

“He did what?”

“Yeah he basically friendzone me. Badly.” you explained.

“Oh shit Y/N, I’m sorry. Maybe he will change his mind,” said Oikawa. You looked at him with pleading eyes.

“I don’t know Toru, I feel like it’s never gonna happen.” You shook your head and rubbed your eyes. You heard a heavy sigh and you looked over to the doorway and saw Bokuto standing there with a frown.

“If Kuroo doesn’t like you then he’s just an idiot,” said Bokuto. He walked over and sat with you and Oikawa.

“Great now everyone knows I like Kuroo,” you joked.

“Well it’s not like you’ve liked him your whole life or anything,” said Bokuto. You looked over at him with widened eyes.

“You’ve always known I liked Kuroo?”

“Yeah I thought we all did. That’s why last night I didn’t see the big deal. I think Kuroo’s just too dumb to see that the answers right in front of him,” explained Bokuto. You gave him a playful push.

“Bokuto! Did you ever say anything to him about me?”

“No, why would I? Unlike some people I can keep my mouth shut...for the most part,” he looked over at Oikawa. Oikawa groaned.

“Okay well since we are all on the same page, we gotta make a plan to get Kuroo and Y/N together,” said Oikawa.

“I mean you two will be the only ones home next week, so try to do something then,” suggested Bokuto.

That’s right, you and Kuroo will be the only ones in the apartment next week. Bokuto will be with Akaashi and Oikawa is taking a mini vacation with Iwaizumi.

“Guys its gonna be so awkward with just me and him,” you pouted.

“Y/N you have to make an effort or else you’re gonna lose the nerd to some other bitch,” said Oikawa. Again, he was right.

“Fine fine. But what would I even do?”

“Walk around the apartment in a maid outfit,” blurted out Bokuto. You slapped his arm as Oikawa laughed.

“Wait, that's actually a good idea,” giggled Oikawa.

“I am not gonna seduce him with a fucking maid outfit,” you said firmly. Oikawa sighed.

“Well unless you have a better idea, I think we should head over to Party City and-“

“NOT HAPPENING!” You interrupted.

“This might be a crazy idea but you could just TELL HIM YOU LIKE HIM!” said Bokuto sarcastically. Your face got warm.

“But-but-“

“No buts Y/N. When Oikawa and I come back, I expect some progress to have been made,” huffed Bokuto. You sighed.

“I’ll do my best,” you muttered. Bokuto wrapped his arm around you and placed a friendly kiss on your head.

“And hey, if he rejects you again, it’s not like things could get any more awkward,” he smiled. You laughed and hugged him back.

“Woah what’s going on in here? An intervention?” said Kuroo, standing at the doorway. You didn’t even hear him enter the apartment, let alone your room.

“Shit Kuroo, you scared me,” you said.

“Uh how long have you been standing there?” asked Oikawa.

“Maybe a few seconds. Don’t worry I didn’t hear any of your top secret conversation,” Kuroo smiled. The three of you let out a sigh of relief.

“Thank god,” you muttered.

“I brought lunch if you guys want some.” Kuroo held a bag of takeout food. The three of you jumped up from Oikawa’s bed and rushed over to him.

The four of you sat at the table and ate your lunch. You kept looking at Kuroo, trying to think of anything you could do to possibly get him to like you back. In the past, a whole week alone with him wouldn’t have seemed so scary. But now that your crush on him was on high gear, you needed to control yourself. It’s not like you could make matters worse.

Right?

•

[taglist OPEN: @vangoghpoets @vangoghmusings @lilnuances @nerdybreadcollaborative @cloudswritings @foxyyychan @tamaguchi @jessie9008 @bitandbytes @yeehawnana @166cm @bigchaosenergy @tumbledor3 @captain-janeway (if your name is in bold that means i couldn’t tag you)]

[jean-does-not-have-a-horseface]

Can I request how did I get so lucky with Levi? Please and thank you!😁

I really wrote hurt/comfort just like that once again i-

I really really loved writing this one, it's very different from a lot of things I've written before, I hope you like it

Warnings: none really, two Kuchels tho but I made sure you won't mix them up

Pairing: Levi/ reader

Tags: Modern au, hurt/comfort, daddy Levi strikes again

Caramel Apple

Levi's foot blocks the sleek vandyke brown door from opening more than a few inches. Your eyes flicker between him and in the interior, begging to get a glimpse of the very reason you find yourself at his door again but his mascular form doesn't allow you to see much, only the shadow of his black leather couch and a few grey and copper tiles from the fireplace. It only makes you sigh in frustration as your anger starts to boil inside of you.

You've always been adamant about never entering his home again and even though you're never about to break the rules you've set for yourself tonight feels like the last straw of your sanity has been pulled. Levi is purposely not offering you to get inside, counting on the fact that you won't ask for permission to enter anyways.

"Levi, seriously, I just want to see Kuchel." Your eyes glint with anger as you speak to him in a steady tone, trying to cover your anger in such a fake way.

His choice of words though never seems to mind your tormenting patience as he lifts the words slip off of the tip of his tongue "None can do for this weekend, I'm sorry!"

"What?" Your eyes widen, your hands slightly shake "Levi I haven't seen my daughter in a week!"

It's only natural of you to demand to see your little girl. For a week now Levi has been calling you back to back, every single night, announcing to you that Kuchel wanted to stay with him, that she misses him and that she won't stop crying at the hearing of having to part ways with her father. And even if the slight rejection of your motherhood by the five year old hurt you to the core you knew much better than to try and part the two. Your break up had indeed tortured her pour little soul; she was lost between having to stay at two different houses she was forced to adjust to two separate lifestyles and her attachment to her after was getting the best of her. She didn't even want to go to school if it wasn't Levi driving her there. You could only comply to her wishes.

"It's not my fault you have dates to go to." He never gives you a chance to reply though as his eyes bore into yours with the faintest tint of mischief. "I have the weekend off so I'm taking Kuchel to Disneyland."

Between wondering whether this was too far fetched and thinking about what clothes to pack for Kuchel, Levi felt panicked. His stoic mask didn't let him show any regards towards your barely visible face, but inside his heart sank to his stomach, leaving him feel numb.

It was the first time in the two years that you had broken up that he had ever done something so selfish to you. So far he had been the perfect co parent, picking up Kuchel almost everyday to drop her at her pre school, always making sure that your days with your daughter were arranged evenly. Overall there has been nothing you could negatively accuse him for and he's so proud of the profile he has kept.

In the last month he's been feeling so conflicted internally that it's become unbearable. He's been through miserable, never ending nights feeling alone and abandoned. You wouldn't bring yourself to understand, he knows that very well, so telling you is off the table. Though there nights he wants you and his daughter by his side, there are mornings he wants to wake up and see the two of you cuddled on the other side of the bed just like once before.

"I'm really going to have to ask you to leave." The sound of his tongue clicking is louder than the words that leave his mouth. As his eyes stare into yours with an unreadable feeling plastered on them you can feel that anger, the one that has been boiling in your stomach for so long, staring to eat away your insides. "Kuchel is asleep and I don't want her sleep disturbe-"

Your jaw drops and your words refuse to let go off your tongue. Any hopes of trying to remain civil tonight have been thrown out of the window because you're simply not having it. There's not much you can do from standing behind his front door though. No begging will ever even convince him to let down his guard and he'd be right. That was part of the reason you wouldn't enter his house amymore nonetheless.

"I miss my baby Levi, you're being so unfair!Doesn't Kou miss me?"

Levi flinches at the nickname. There's a restrain in his heart that won't allow him to speak of anyone in nicknames ever again and you're at fault, because every little thing in his life screams your fucking name and he despises it. Nowadays it's only him and Kuchel that seem to be on the same side.

"Her name is Kuchel."

He's so cynical that you might let out that salty tear -the one your left eye has tried so hard to push back- run down your cheek and stain your face. You can only endure so much refusal to see your baby's face. Her tiny voice in nowhere to be heard, her angelic face nowhere to be seen and you want to breakdown.

Why should Levi care, you're still puzzled as to why. The way you've treated him lately has been so brutal and he doesn't deserve it, you know he doesn't although your demons don't take anyone and anything into consideration. The small bleak of the door is symbolic to you, it's a gesture that he doesn't want to let you in, but he allows you to have a small leak of his grayscale paradise.

You shouldn't be in a place to beg with him since you are in the wrong. Kuchel isn't a doll that the two of you should play with, she's a lovely little girl with very real emotions who's trying to comprehend yours and Levi's bullshit. Your bullshit.

If Levi had it his way, you knew he'd keep Kuchel as far from you as he could and Kuchel would agree without a second thought.

Between his loud growls and your sobbing imitations you manage to wake Kuchel up for her peaceful slumber. Her little raven head peaks from the corner of the leather couch, hair sleek despite her sleeping position. It makes you groan how much she looks like him at every aspect of her life, personality and appearance alike. It is as if he had birthed her out of his womb, not you.

Maybe that is part of the reason you feel so strained away.

Or maybe it iss her unforgiving gaze that is identical to her father's.

She doesn't exactly sparkle when she sees you but you attribute that to her only having just woken up. A little fist rubs on her closed eye lid, sweeping a few eyelashes away. Levi makes sure to pick them up from her cheek when he takes her in his arms.

"Hey mommy!"

Her enthusiasm seems to grow on her as her eyes gradually open. You hadn't seen her face in a long, agonising week, her sight made you week to your knees.

"Hey baby, ready to go home?" You beam, pushing the tears away.

"No!" She pouts "Daddy will take me to Rapunzel's castle tomorrow!"

To her it was such a big deal. The promise to see her favorite princess and her prince, to fight the most evil Gothel with her squeeky little voice, it all excited her way too much. Although you're in no place to ruin their fun -Levi has the right to spend his time with Kuchel however he pleases- but you have to admit it hurts. A lot.

Wanting to go to Disneyland was your most vivid childhood dream. The scenery had always fascinated you, there were so many things you had always wanted to do. And Levi had promised, while he was driving you to the hospital once your water had broke, that he'd take you along with Kuckel.

You open your mouth to speak but words never really come out as you take your defeat in. Your heart's sinking, your knees want to give up on supporting your whole weight but just as you're about to collapse two familiar voices catch your attention.

"Oi runts, what's with the commotion?"

"Kenny! Be a little kinder, hey love!"

Your face suddenly drops lower than it's ever possible. In panic you wonder if staying still will guard you from the sights of Kenny and Kuchel, but you're absurdly reminded that could never be the case.

"Im here to pick Kou up." You whisper, ashamed to look any of the Ackermans in their eyes. They really had you cornered like a rat now.

"Ah, aren't you guys going to Disneyland this weekend?" Kuchel smiles as she greets you with eagerness.

At this point Levi is forced to open the door. It's only rude to keep his family standing in the hallway of his apartment complex because you're in the midst of having a small fight. You're not sure if you want to get in, though, he never allows you to.

"It's only me and Kuchel, mom. What made you think (y/n) was coming?"

Kenny huffs at the words, clicking his tongue in annoyance. "Trouble in paradise?" He rightfully earns a death glare from his sister. His legs shot up on the coffee table, catching Levi's attention. Your little girl mumbles something about the table turning dirty once again and Levi agrees, sparing her the tiniest of smugs.

"Look (y/n)," the ravenette's attention turns to you once again "I think you should go, were flying early tomorrow, I promise I'll make up for this whole week someway."

With gloom in your eyes you turn on your feet, ready to storm off of the hallway, and down to the elevator. If you're not wanted here then it's fine. With a kiss on little Kuchel's forehead, you tuck her strands behind her ear and whisper a soft goodnight to her. Levi's door closes too fast, too sharp, too humiliating to your person and at this, you can't help but finally breakdown. Your legs don't even drag you to the end of his hallway. With your back against the nearest wall you collapse, hit tears making their appearance on the corners of your eyes.

"Don't be a little bitch Levi, your brat is not a doll you two pass to eachother, in case ya didn't notice." Inside the apartment Kenny's words sting like a thousand yellowjackets launching onto Levi's skin, but only because the old man speaks the truth. He keeps the arrogant comment about the language that should be used around his daughter to himself, he's eager to listen what his mother had to say on the situation.

"I still don't even know the reason you're not together anymore."

He doesn't either. He can't bring himself to remember the exact reason you had fallen apart or why you had acted to cold towards him two months ago. In a haze, that's probably only for the worst he pops Kuchel into Kenny's uninviting arms and picks up a shift space with his matching.

If he's surprised by your vulnerable position on the hallway he doesn't ever show. His twitching eyebrows betrays the tint of worry in his expression but your trembling lip doesn't allow you to utter words just yet. It'd only when he swoops to your level, knees touching the cold tiles of the floor while his eyes look directly in your face. His calloused hand comes to bed your cheek in order to provide you some sort of comfort for your exhausted head and to wipe a salty tear with his thumb. He isn't ever really soft like that, but you come to believe it's been so long without him that you've forgotten about his compassionate side.

"How did I get so lucky to be loved by someone like you, and how was I so stupid to make us go through this?"

Your words are hurting you more than you want to admit to. It's unfair, how you want to come undone, how time and space cease to exist in the moment, how you don't feel like you can keep your heart's insides to yourself.

"Im so sorry I left that morning but I was so, so afraid." You continue.

It was no secret. That particular night you had shared two months ago, wrapped in his sheets like old times had sparked so many flames or reconciliation between the two of you. Be it that it was you who showed up at his door or him that took you in, be it that you did this because you missed every tiny aspect of him that it was overwhelming. You can't even pinpoint a reason as to why the two of you were so natural together. But you have thrown your only chance away. And he won't even let you in his home.

"I was too, beats me as to what I would have done if I was in your place." His voice is tinted in melancholy but paradoxically his steel orbs never once fall from yours. "But I've spent so much time being mad at you that I can't even remember why im feeling this way in the first place."

Your hand shoots to his chest, only to grab at his plain gray crewneck in an attempt to pull him closer, close enough that your foreheads collide. Onyx shaggy strands engulf your vision as your heavy breaths mingle and your thoughts are finally able to come through mouth.

"Who are you and what have you done to the Levi I know." A muffled giggle comes out of your cries and a blink-and-you'll-miss-it smug appears on Levi's face. It catches you by surprise, the way his face lots up from only just a second is an image you've tried you convince yourself to forget but your mind always finds a way to come back to it.

His hand comes to rest on your nape, trapping the hair underneath his grip as he leans to give a kiss to your forehead.

"We'll talk about everything with caramel poisoned apples with Kuchel alright?" Your eyes lit up at his statement, glistening tears threatening to fall once again from your eyes. "Tch, don't look at me like that of course I bought three tickets."

You miss the way his eyes widened as you engulf him tightly in your arms, closing the painful space that had been separating you up until a few seconds ago. Maybe you won't kiss just yet, this isn't a lust filled moment. It's a moment of putting a new brick at that wall of trust you had wrecked a few years ago. With that inevitable fate and love that brought you back to eachother no matter what and a lot of patience the two of you are going to make it work. No excuses this time.

Was this short, was this enough? I honestly don't know I enjoyed this one because for once I figured the ending as I went along. Reading your guys comments makes me feel really good so if you want to drop a comment (or a request) don't be shy. Thanks for reading, it means a lot💞

[nanabrainrot]

hey nana! could you please write hcs about "first time" things in relationship (like meeting each other for the first time, first "i love you", meeting parents you know the drill) for joe from ywnrh? tysm lov u💖

Hey! Sorry for the wait im in my sophomore yr of nursing school so anatomy is beating my ass so I was focusing on my work for a moment! I kept this SFW since you didn’t specify to stay safe :) I hope u lov bby joe 💙💙💙💙

Joe’s “Firsts” Headcanons

First Meeting

You meet Joe when you hit him with your car door in a grocery store parking lot.

Hard.

His hands are full of bags and they immediately go crashing to the hot asphalt (he’s a one trip kind of guy, who needs a basket or a cart?) and you both just... stare at each other. You literally wanted to slink into the ground and just perish.

Fortunately, he’s a mild guy. You’re just a nice person who was unobservant and accidents happened. Everything but the eggs were salvageable and the goldfish crackers that were all over the ground now.

“I’m so sorry!” You literally said it a thousand times. Not long after that, you tell him to stay put and you run back in to purchase him eggs and the wrong goldfish crackers (unobservant yet again) and you come back, still spewing apologies. He drives home with a ghost of a grin; inconvenient but simultaneously endearing that you went out of your way to make it up to him.

It’s your first time meeting him, but not the last. It turns out you both frequent the same grocery store and wind up running into each other a lot. He always seems to forget an ingredient and you restock on foods more often than you’d like to admit. After a few run-ins, Joe works up the courage to ask you on a proper date to really make up for breaking his eggs.

First Date

• He opts for a nice walk through a nearby park. The air is fresh and leaves enough room to talk and gets his steps in at the same time!

• He’s more of a listener. You coo at the wildlife as baby ducklings romp by the pond and gush about your promotion as he listens. He doesn’t have much to tell you that you should know. So this will suffice. He always heard partners love someone who listens anyway.

• There’s something about the genuine grin that crosses your face that makes him want to see you again. There’s a lot of unfortunate evils and cruel people in the world and you aren’t one of them. He sees himself as being apart of that gross image of the world and, selfish as it may be, doesn’t he deserve a bit of happiness? To allow himself to be fully enveloped in the affection you offer? Selfish as it may be, he wants to have you as his own.

• You bring it up first as you both walk back to your cars in the parking lot, innocently inferring you’d really been looking forward to trying a new Mexican restaurant nearby that had just opened to support a small business. “It opens the 18th! Keep it blocked off on your calendar if you can, how about it?”

• Forward. He liked that. The second date goes as smoothly as the first. He doesn’t mind the plenty that follow.

First Kiss

It was a few dates in, just casually getting to know each other, but you had really let yourself simmer in the thought of kissing him.

Relationships seemed far and few for you. You devoted your youth to academia rather than hopping from lover to lover. The stress of trying love was optional to place that kind of stress on yourself on top of your studies seemed stupid.

He looked handsome, illuminated by a candle over a table in a dim Italian spot off the main street. He looked so tender like that, obviously trying to spiffy up for you, you could’ve fawned over him all night, but didn’t want to come off strong.

It seemed like both of you kept trying to radiate an aura of aloofness, but it seemed to start crumbling for both of you. Just chasing tails of who wanted the other more or just as badly.

He pays the check and drives you home as you fiddle with the top you put on. Was it hot? Were your palms sweaty for some other reason? You had never had a really raw, healthy love before. It was kind of new. You felt like a late bloomer compared to all your hometown peers; people your age had already been wed or pregnant with their first or second children. Yet here you were fiddling with your dress over a guy you really didn’t know if you were supposed to feel this fluttering sensation for.

Your apartment complex comes into sight. The date already ended. The car stops slowly at the doors of your building, silent but for the rumble of the engine. “Can I kiss you goodnight?”

He murmurs it so quietly that you could barely hear it. You only heard it because you were dying to. “Please.”

You kiss over the console, just lips pressed to the others, no tongue, no sensuous moving, just together. If it could’ve lasted forever, you wouldn’t have minded. But you had work in the morning.

“Goodnight Joe.”

“Goodnight, beautiful.”

First I Love You

It just slips out. He didn’t plan on saying it and the silence that follows is thicker than frozen butter.

You had been arguing over something stupid and your face twisted into an expression of agitation at his words. You wanted badly to turn away and go home to brew in your thoughts. You did love him. You’d been together four months so far. You really wanted to make it work and you’d never... argued with a real partner before.

“I’m only saying that because I love you.”

“I’m only trying to understand what you want because I love you too, Joe.”

The silence that follows isn’t thick anymore. Neither of you were really mad to begin with. It’s not ideal. A lot of things just happen. But it felt perfect because it was from Joe.

Your face contorts from a facd skewed by anger to one of contentment. I love you sounds so sweet from the person you love.

Meeting the Parents

• You two had begun dating some months prior to Thanksgiving. Your parents were more out of the way than his mother was; you moved near him to relocate for a glorious job offer before you two had met. It was stressful moving but he helped alleviate your worries and showed you the lesser known things to do in town.

• Come Thanksgiving, you seriously wanted him to meet your parents. You liked him, loved him even. The look of anxiety that crossed your face made his heart drop a bit. Did you think he wouldn’t want to go?

• “Of course, I’d love to meet them. We’ll get tickets next week to visit them, okay?”

• He’s charming enough, no casanova, but a gentleman at heart for his lady, they bond well enough. They’re just happy you met someone to help you destress and find comfort after you flew the coop. A little later than your peers, as you opted for a master’s, but it all seemed to piece together when you met him and fell into his lap.

• When Thanksgiving ends, you both return home and somewhere in both your hearts, you come to terms with the fact you would love for this love to last forever.

Joe has a life that isn’t easy. He’s a distant partner for a long time and he requires trust and patience from you. In his eyes, your love for him doesn’t immediately permit you to join his world by letting you know about it. After a lot of time and conversations about trust, he will let you know out of respect for you. Give him a little love and he will give you everything and more. Thank you for showing him that there is sweetness in the world.

[charmmycolour]

8, 12, 23

Thanks for asking! ✨

8. How was your day?

I don’t know. I remember having written Saturday, I think. There was something about horror video games, at some point, I... Sunday I didn’t leave bed except for dinner. We had McDonalds. I remember because today I took the bag to the dumpster.

Today... I saw a Doctor Who episode, but I don’t remember the details well. I don’t know if I ate. I think I draw something, but I’m not sure. I have a few sentences in my head. I’m not sure where they belong, so I’m just writing them down.

Im angry, so I assume I had a bad experience at some point. Probably.

12. Which pride flags do you like the most design/color wise?

Oh, I love the trans flag! Is just so pastel and pretty!

More than once I considered purchasing items with it just because I love the palette, but I understand that would be quite disprectful. I really love the aesthetic!

23. Describe your partner.

It’s so hard to... uh...

Like you know David Tennant, and that he had this very opposite roles as the 10th Doctor in Doctor Who and Crowley in Good Omens?

My husband is like a mix of both.

The random, crazy, genuine, happy energy of the Doctor, but with Crowley’s motivations for suffering. He never considered himself a good person, and to a point, I can agree. He enjoys annoying others, and his clever, witty, sarcastic ass is splendid at it.

He can be ruthless. Have no patience with people he dislikes, nor is he interested in anything that doesn’t involve him. He even has legit cartoon villain laugh. Happily mocking others is what he does.

Yet...

My husband likes his evil reputation, and so he likes to deny he can be soft, but he can. He’s very attentive with me, always willing to do whatever it takes to make me feel better. He’s protective, sweet, loving, responsible and stable. And most importantly, he’s THERE. I drive him crazy, but he’s still there, caring for me.

I guess I got a “villain that only cares about his lover” trope, and hey, I am not complaining!

(To my husband if you read this: I’m sorry I blowed your cover about how evil you are. I guess you will have to kick some puppies or something).

[floralkittygambler]

Reposting for reasons

Response to Honest’s post here: Doing this to spread this awareness more as I know theres a bit of a rift in the critical community - plus I really fucking go on. Im PISSED and I do apologise however it NEEDS urgent addressing. I know people will hate me for it but Im used to hate and honestly? Hating rather than helping to solve the issue only furthers my fucking point here. So yeah this is so more people are aware (no offense to any of those involved in said rift either, but this is an important message. Thank you for understanding and if I can do anything to make all sides comfortable, then please message me and I’ll do my upmost.) “ More awareness of this is needed. Even if it’s your favourite, you can’t justify their shit but rally against another’s shit. Have people tell you you’re experiences arent real or invalid because, like Husk, people have - in real life - shipped you with someone you are far from comfortable with but you still treat them like a person. Because you have basic respect. And people force you to accept harassment, touching, stalking, advances for THEIR satisfaction. People use you for their fantasies. But you’re just a ‘tsundere’ for it. Or you have addiction issues but people think being with another addict will ‘save’ you because you’re apparently too incompetent to save yourself. Love isnt some magic fuckin cure so stop romanticising it as a fuckin saviour. It’s gross and fuckin creepy. Get stalked and have someone NEVER accept your no just because you show youre still decent enough to not treat them shitty or any different from anyone else. Try having someone way older or way younger (both in morally fucked up ways) advance on you and people encourage that. People you’re supposed to feel safe around.

People touch you when you pull away or show discomfort. Follow you home. Have pictures of you and wont accept you dont like them like that and it’s not ‘playing hard to get’ or ‘the thrill of the chase’. Fuck. OFF. In fact, Im not only disappointed in the fandom. Im disappointed in the entire team who some should know better from their OWN personal experiences - or at least the bare minimal of being a fucking adult. Im disappointed in especially females (sorry idk whether girl or woman is more appropriate here-) who statistically are more likely to have experienced something similar at some point in their lives think this is a cute gay moment. No. Angel is made out as a fucking predator - Im not saying he is, Im saying that his persistence is very fucking unwelcome like one. People like Husk dont need that fucking invasiveness. They/We need patience and someone on our level. Angel’s I know are the fuckin polar opposite - and some of them I know are very sexually harassing, including unwanted touching. It’s a shitty way to present gay people. Gays are fuckin people. Some are cunts and some arent. It’s a HUMAN thing. But considering the shit theyve been subjected to, presenting a gay as a victim only to also show them as a perpetrator is insulting! And for those Ive seen argue this about how people like AD wouldnt know how to express their love normally and whatnot? His pig. His best friend. He’s in his fucking 30s. There are literal real life criminals who get molested as kids and then go on to molest kids. Not all who grow up like that turn into nonces. Stop just fucking STOP justifying and romanticising this bullshit! I used to see the good in AD but now he makes me fucking sick. Especially with my verrrrrry fucking real traumas and connections. But fuck me, eh? Because this fictional guy matters so much more. Fuck real victims. And whilst we’re at it, fuck AD too when it suits your fetishes! Sarcasm aside, the fans and the team need to straighten up their abhorrent behaviour. Stolas. Fucking clearly having an affair, knowingly fucking up his daughter’s mental health and bribing a guy into sex who only wants the book and nothing more. He even has a fucking warning button over Stolas- Guys, how do you think any of this is cute? Even the team gross me out- I genuinely see potential and talent and it’s all gone to shit to satisfy horny teens, horny adults, and literally everyone who doesnt for the life of them understand being an adult is more than sex, drugs, violence and swears! I REALLY want to keep enjoying HB/HH but it’s getting harder and harder with such ignorant and bordering lazy creators (note: lazy as in wont do the fucking research or actually listen to real criticism and victims), such despicable fans (yeah, some HDers fuckin mocked that they triggered my ED, yet they had the fucking NERVE to support Angel’s potential ED AND laugh and blame me for me getting treated so badly for actually having the balls to call Angel and the teams hypocrisy. I got told to kill myself, that my problems arent real - oh but Angels apparently is! Which... They *are* but AD isnt real so technically only onlookers will suffer and not a drawing  - and they just excused their toxic behaviours. These people are like “aww poor angie babey!” yet fuckin INSULT sex workers. All this red in Hazbin yet it feels everyone and they mama colour blind. The issues are getting worse and fans are outright becoming EVIL, VILE, Vindictive little bullies - from kids to adults. You SHOULD be ashamed of yourself if you conduct yourself in such a manner. And you need to readjust your attitudes and behaviours because the only fuckers getting hurt are actual fucking victims. Ever been violated and been gaslit so much you STILL fucking question it’s reality? So you drown that shit out yet somehow it’s effects still hit you? Fetishise it. Make it your uwu gae couple goals, you’re no better than people believing Harley and the Joker werent toxic af. If this shit happened to you, most of you would actually SEE where we’re all coming from. Also, stop making gay a fetish - you’re like those creepy old men in the alley heckling lesbians to make out so they can wank off. Gays, no ALL the LGBT+ are fucking people too. So dont give me that bullshit then start turning everything just gay or just straight to mentally wank off to. It’s degrading and dehumanising. And yes, fiction does effect reality. You crush on a fictional character? Mourn one? Support one? Hell, fuckin jerk off to one - that’s affecting reality. Remember how in fiction all blacks were treated as villians? Look how theyre treated IRL. JAWS, great classic unfortunately their was a spike in shark killings over a fucking movie - the shark in the movie wasnt even real for the most part because they dont behave like that! (Also the animatronic was so shit they genuinely had so many issues - I think they even took to naming each one! Some fun trivia there!). Tiger sharks are more nasty than great whites as tiger sharks will hunt and eat a human. Great whites prefer seals and dislike human flesh, they just mistake us for seals. Hell, theres the toothless basking shark - theyre often SWAM WITH by divers for being so friendly. Yet Jaws made people think all sharks are bloodlusting over humans. Slenderman was created for a fucking contest and that influenced a stabbing (NOT Victor’s fault). Watch a horror movie that isnt based on a real life event and tell me that at least ONE has left you peaking over your shoulder. Stella may be a bitch - we dont know for certain - but try getting cheated on. Y’know what? Try growing up in such a broken home like Octavia. Yeah reaaaaaal fucking cute now, huh? Funny how as well y’all petition for male victims to be taken seriously then laugh when fictional males experience this abuse, further adding to stigma. You can be hit on by the hottest mf on the planet but if you arent interested, that should be respected! Also we’ve all been inspired by at least one fictional character so yeah. Yknow, since I was little Ive been fighting for sex worker and homeless rights. But HH/HB treatment of both leave a bitter taste in my mouth. I’ll still fully support sex workers and the homeless, but that’s the fucking effect this show is having. Bearing in mind I wont ever share everything Ive been through - and I shouldnt fucking have to in order to be believed and validated (obvs proof is required in a legal case but that’s a whole other topic). Why should I share MY fucking pain especially when you fuckers have belittled and triggered it more so? We have our rights to our secrets but fuck ME you lot NEED to start acting appropriately and like decent fucking humans. ‘iTs HeLl’ yeah and welcome to Earth- the team and yourselves live HERE. You obide by THESE rules. And as someone with beliefs (and a LOT of ancient fucking texts and studies on this shit) their Hell isnt even a proper Hell! It’s closer to purgatory and even then it’s not. Regardless, it’s a poorly built world with the lore consistently changing per episode and tweet, with many plot holes, and is apparently easy to get into - even via accidentally watching porn according to a stream. If youre gonna parade youre a fucking expert and research into demonology and use real believed figures, at least get THAT right. In fact, Lucifer and Lilith (and Stolas tbf) are ESPECIALLY risky as theyre a lot more complex than most easy access texts will tell you. Likewise, Stolas’s first introduction and main focus is sex. He’s one of the FEW Goetia demons that dont have some involvement in relationship issues at ALL. He’s known for astrology, crystals and herbs but hes also known to aid MONEY troubles (it’s lesser known but it’s true! HB Stolas is an insult to the Prince). Turning Vodou into something evil is vile considering it’s powerful and liberated slaves. Pentagrams are nothing to do with Satan, they’re magic based sigils. Upside down cross is the symbol of a SAINT. It’s just some edgy attempt to trick people into believing they know more than they do. Also you should NEVER dabble and doodle sigils without knowing the meanings or respecting what they behold. Vox and Val, real fuckin cute way to make them look like a stupid fucking highschool drama instead of a fucking SEX TRAFFICKER (note: real pimps often target YOUNG folks too - aka minors - and groom them into sex work. Theres different types of pimp. Viv has shown barely any understanding of ‘the game’ and its a fucking insult to injury. Yes we KNOW what a fucking pimp and prozzie are! We dont need to see it. We need REAL AWARENESS.) and a fucking scheming bastard of a CEO salesman botman. And yet even THEN lets go a step further and make some yandere wuv on boyfweind aboose! Fuck off- Now I love a good anime but these tropes are getting fucking dangerous now. And unrealistic to real love and relationships. Kids nowadays know fuck all on a healthy relationship (neither did the fuckin 50s tbf) and Im seeing more romaticism and glorifying abusive situations. Like the show ‘You’. Ok, there’s a fuckin bloke online who slaughtered innocents and kidnapped yet people commented how cute he is on his IG and that they want to be kidnapped or killed by him next. Dont believe me? Look up Peter Manfredonia Connecticut and the comments people left him and then tell me why shit like whats being presented in HH/HB ISNT fucking concerning - because it is. For a series about redemption, it’s brilliant at the opposite (Quote from the creator herself, Viv has posted that it’s influencing her bad choices. Even as a joke, proof’s in the pudding). And the overall focus on sex in the way Viv does is so immature and really creepy, and this is from an ADULTS perspective. From one adult to another, Im concerned as to why any of them think this is a normal fixation. Then again they’ve hired quite a large amount of dodgy folks and even a child. Most of this shit gets avoided with a basic background check like most companies run. I DO like Hazbin. Or the premise. I love some of the cast and spite the others. In Helluva, I just like a tiny portion of the cast. And I critique it so harshly because Viv DOES need a wakeup slap, grounding to reality, people who arent going to big her up or kiss her arse for once and shape her up to be the best she can be. The actually reach and even surpass her potential. And to reach where you need to be, there’s a lot of harsh lessons youll face. That’s life. Shes chosen one of the most HEARTLESS industries and if she blocks out critique as ‘hate’ then she’s not strong enough and wont last. It’s just another unprepped YanDev again (except I dont believe Viv to be a nonce. Even with her dodgy past and dodgy present, I think her perspective on sex and relationship with sexuality is FAR from healthy BUT I dont believe she’s a pedophile. Ive bled my fair share and so far, I just think her sex perspective isnt healthy or mature for her age. But there’s little to nothing to suggest actual noncery - dont worry about accusations there. But YanDev is totally a dirty predator. Just clearing that up). Viv NEEDS some harshness and stability if she wants to do things right. And it’ll make her fucking cry but if she loves these projects as much as she claims to, then you’ll sacrifice blood, sweat and tears for that shit. Even the strongest points are mediocre at best when properly observed. She CAN do more, but she’ll have to face the harsh music. Viv wont see this, but if she does, I dont care if it upsets her. Why? Because this is that much of an issue - something she’s cultivated - that she needs to take action and not ignore it or be secretive about it. She needs to grow up and get tougher skin. Im not saying this to cause her pain. In fact, I wouldnt waste my fucking limited time if I DIDNT care. Trust me, I have duties to be met at a certain quota every single day. I say this shit only because I give a shit and care. If we met, she’d fucking hate me. But people like me are good for shaping people up to their potential. And we arent always this ‘tough love’ either. But when someone needs that level of harshness to help themselves, we’re not afraid to lose people or cause upset if the results end up being the best for them. If she ever saw this, she needs to re fucking evaluate her message, her story, and those she’s choosing to welcome into her circle. And all Im seeing is one rookie mistake after the other. Her paid patreon discord. Just like the messages Honest has posted on her side of being harassed (not in Vivs fyi), Ive experienced shit and bullying and even stay silent on their for being attacked for a group I fuckin paid to be in and yet I feel isolated. It’s all arsekissing and ‘thank you viv’ (thats an actual channel-) and it feels like a place of borderline worship and people trying to appease her 24/7 whilst kicking others with different opinions down. There’s so many I love but I aint kissin yer fuckin arse. Ask the closest friend I have - we’re fucking raw and wont just side with each other just because. We’ll call each other out if we think they’ve fucked up and then help each other build themselves up better. Because real fuckin people who actually care wont just want to be adored by you. They’ll care enough to point out your bullshit and help you, even if they upset you at the time. They’re real and upfront with you. People like us arent always the easiest to be close to either because we arent afraid of upsetting someone if it’s in their best interest and to help them. Likewise, we dont go out looking for fights either. Most times, we’re fuckin soft bastards- All this shit listed is the fuckin surface level of the real life hell of this fandom. And unsurprisingly, those who experience little to no toxicity have always been higher on that popularity ‘food chain’ - enough admirers and shared opinions that people wanna arse kiss regardless of their OWN feelings as well as neutral perspectives. I’d say you’re the lucky fans, but you’re not. You’re sheltered, and that isnt always the best way to be sadly. As for the fans. If Ive upset you. Well... I dont care. Because many of you have actively sought me out and weaponised my traumas against me. You never cared about my feelings then. Why should I care about yours? Im not doing this out of malice. Im fed up of humans behaving so pathetically yet claiming to be high and mighty. Most of you have been arseholes to those in and out of the community. The victims and non-victims alike. Hardly any of you considered once my real suffering. You put a drawing over a life. Many lives. You had the audacity to tell me Im full of shit. Some even using my real traumas to make a mockery of me and those Im around with a very similar history. Some with traumatic histories that differ from my own. You hardly ever considered the real lives of those effected. So no, Im not sorry for having the fucking balls to this day to still stand up for our rights and give us a voice that’s long been stolen. Im not sorry for being a fucking victim. Im not sorry for saying what desperately NEEDS voicing. And Im not sorry for not conforming to you or any fandom just to belong. We deserve better than to constantly be your fuckin arse monkeys (well... the trope is butt monkey but yknow-) and to be mistreated, misrepresented and harmed by you. You’re no different to the school bullies who give speeches on anti-bullying day. And I hope every single one of you starts looking into yourselves and improving. PS: Depending on the texts you read, Lucifer is said to have been redeemed or to be redeemed. Fun fact to haunt yalls with~ “

[shiro-0197]

God no I'm sorry 😭😭😭 the way Tumblr eats all my drafts, and now your replies. (Someday I'm gonna eat Tumblr grrrr) that must've been so frustrating tho, I'm sorry love.

someday we could go to a country with Highlands together. It'll be super cold and nice. And the views would be really really pretty too!! WE COULD EVEN BE AMONGST THE CLOUDS >//< aww yes I hope you'll be able to try them soon in the future!! I died and had to stay in bed for an hour, (because my spice tolerance is nonexistent <3) but yeah I'm better now! Name is: "대박 ghost pepper noodles" the Korean word 대박 literally translates to "awesome" but— 😭😭

oh I see!! I hope school goes well, it's good that you're excused for a part of the day :D and aww I understand. Replying can be lengthy sometimes, so please please only do it when you're free and comfortable >:(( we're in no rush, after all :D

I was studying earlier too. and I texted my principal about the exams ( because apparently none of my teachers know anything about it, and I was so frustrated with everyone being so clueless ) she just replied with a : "hi Ariana, will let you know on Friday" like excuse me, ma'am. GRRRRR >:( STOP BEING CLUELESS.

awww that's okay!! I'm sure those prep slides were really pretty too :D aww that's sweet of you. some of my online friends sometimes sit in on my Leo events (if it's open to everyone) and it's pretty fun when they do (once, one of them had to talk for like, an activity and my club mates were like "SHE HAS AN ACCENT??". It was hilarious hehe) zoom is great for that reason, and only that. they're just ready-made slides tbh, I use canva :D

Shiro, love, you won't disappoint anyone, I promise you that. I'm sure your mom is more proud than you know, and from the way you talk about her, I can tell that she truly adores you. tho I also understand your worries. If you want to rant or anything, you know I'm here. And I'll just continuously reassure you of how amazing you are :)

that's my boy 🥺🥺 grr, you're so feisty, please imagine me holding a "you go, Shiro" sign everytime you tell someone to fuck themselves :D Laurent is indeed amazing. He's my favourite character for that exact reason >//< there's another character, from a book I read, just like that. His name was uhh, Kieran. And he knew so many different languages, and was just in general; super smart. I remember being so in love with him when I first read it (The title of the book is "genius")

HAHA. ikr. They're all hot, and most importantly; smart. nevermind, when I meet you someday we can cry over them together 😭🤚 pffft no offense, but being evil is hot sometimes 😾 (I mean, Kieran was evil. So's Moriarty :] and I am: a simp for them all)

aww bae that's okay 🥺🥺 your feelings are valid, and it's not wrong to express them whenever you feel like it. Grrr if I ever see your dad, he might be missing a limb >:( sorry, that was violent, but I get especially mad if anyone upsets someone i love )

exactly?? It's been a year?? Where's that blink meme where someone blinks and it's suddenly 2021. Oooh that sounds really nice!! Adding it on my list of things to try in March >.< Honey is really delicious. especially all those desserts which have a lot of them.

glad I made you laugh >////< grr my sense of humour is just so weird tho, so I'm glad you aren't freaked out by it.

KAJDKSJSKS SIR WAIT. There was an explanation for that u but I guess it got cut off in my notes 😾😾 IT WAS MEANT TO BE A Ü (smiley) but I was using my computer and I couldn't add the two dots above, so I typed "imagine the eyes" (but apparently that part got cut off and now it just looks like a random alphabet SKJSKSK IM SORRY 😭😭😭

I understand, the lack of opportunities can really get on one's nerves. But oh yes, Japan and Norway are beautiful countries. Apart from Japan, I've been really into Korea and Switzerland. The Alps 😻

grrr y'all have tough exteriors. But it's so rewarding when you finally get them down, tho I think, you guys have tons of other layers to yourselves. I guess that's just the charm, I find it endearing, because it just means there's a lot more than meets the eye :)

MY FRIEND MAKES FUN OF ME FOR LIKING PINK. HE TEASES ME MERCILESSLY SKSJSKSK (so I published a poem line in the school magazine to get back at him for it, because I'm petty like that)

that's so funny >.< There are two girls, and a girl and a guy, who share the exact same names in my class, and it's so funny because they're opposites of each other xD

he really is precious. The best leader, I would literally die for him, he's wonderful. yeah the book actually started out different, with them just being best friends. Best plot twist 😭😭 AWW

NOOO I'm sure it's cute, in it own way? :P tho that meme tho. LDJCJSBSKS. Don't worry, hehe, the character may be .... Unpleasant to look at?? , but you're not the least bit at all :)

how was your day btw? My day sucked ass and was literally the worst day in the history of uh, days. Yeah. sad. tomorrow will be better.

God, you're so adorable wtf. Marry me rn. AKDJSKSJS I didn't find it lame at all, (tho were you flustered? Because that was cute as hell xD) I love you too 🥺🥺

—☃️

It's okay, it's not your fault. We could storm the Tumblr building together or something..:3

Oh I really hope we can!!! I love cold weather. You can wear sweaters and hoodies and all that💞 and you have an excuse to cancel everything and cuddle up with a blanket or someone else😝

Im so glad you're better now!! Spice sickness or whatever is the worst😔 WBHDJWKX that's hilarious I hope I come across those soon! Let's see who wins😼

Yeah, about that, they started making us do after-class activities, which now leaves less time for the stuff I have to do .... which sucks . But I'm managing, I think, so it's cool xD yeah, I've always been kind of cautious about the timing, it's nice to have a little freedom now, thank you so much <3

Wow😭😭 our teachers usually have the dates set two weeks before the exams, we always recieve a message. Though I've been there, where the teacher have no clue, it's so annoying😭😭

Ohh, that's so cool! I hope I will be able to visit one someday. Though I dont think itll be too soon, but I'm looking forward to when I can😝 also that's funny, whenever I speak people go "he doesnt have an accent???" Even though I so obviously do. They just have no idea 😭

Okay..... that's the best words of encouragement I've ever received, I'm so touched- thank you🥺💘

Bwahah, that's gonna make my day every time 😭 Yeah, hes my favorite too!! He seems like a simple himbo at first, but the more we see of him the better he gets. (That sounds cool!!! I'm gonna check it out when I can!)

Thank you🥺 also, dont worry, I wouldn't mind that. I'd love that, actually, wanna go rip off guys arms together?

MZJXKGJJAKXKAKX IT'S ALRIGHT HAHAH, ITS REALLY FUNNY SO DONT WORRY😭😭

JSNFNMWMDMS IM GONNA MAKE FUN OF HIM FOR MAKING FUN OF YOU how could he . I will eat his eyeballs. Also I 100% agree with the poem and I'm glad you posted it. I hope some people thought about it.

Wow😭😭 its honestly so funny, because they're all so different and yet their names fit them so well either way.

Also, wow I feel so bad it's been almost a week since I responded😐 I'm really sorry. I've been writing snips of this message any time I could and yet it still took me days xD I'm getting free, though, so I'll try to respond faster now. I missed talking to you so much😭 thank you for your patience🤍🤍🤍

How've you been? I'm pretty good, tired but feeling good because I can finally respond😩 I hope your day went well. Love you!♡

[everyman0]

A PALE BLUE GHOST

over on the discord, i announced my decision to make another trip to the Edge to try my luck at finding any kind of clue that could help me make sense of it. patrick gave me a whole lot of lip about not using his fucking mirror and other bullshit, but ill save that for another post. this is a lot more fresh and painful for me.

going back outside was a mistake.

i journeyed the five hours it took to get to the impenetrable black wall of the Edge. my plan was to walk down its length, survey anything unusual, you know. obviously i wouldnt have been able to observe all of it in one day as ive mentioned the area it covers is rather large, but i felt some effort was better than none at all, and i wasnt exactly comfortable with the idea of spending the night this far away from the house. simple enough right? there was nothing out of place on the way out here, so i hardly expected what i saw just as i approached the wall. 

it was jeff. sort of.

when i first saw him, he appeared almost like a reflection of me in the blackness. as i stepped closer to the wall, so did he step forward as well - until eventually seeming to step out of the wall entirely. we stood face to face, a mere foot apart, and i noticed then that his entire being was tinted with a pale blue.

i was terrified. i wanted to run away, but i couldnt make myself do it. so i asked timidly, "what are you doing here?"

jeff seems to come alive then.

"what? you told me to grab some stuff for the video today."

fucking bastard. i was still scared, but somehow i just knew he was mocking me. i frown, reaffirming my stance. i had to ask myself if jeff would even do such a thing to me...and then i figured yeah, probably - ghost or not.

"dont you dare pull that bullshit on me," i said, "those days are long gone." and they were. 

jeff laughs. "don't you miss it? simpler times." he splays his hands out like an offering. "cant be all that bad to pretend, for a little while."

i squint my eyes at him - both of them. these days i dont bother wearing an eyepatch, since the point was for evans comfort to begin with. now it doesnt matter that i have a gaping fucking hole in my head for all to see.

i ball my fists at my sides. "i dont have time to pretend, and i dont have time for this conversation - so lets get to the point. why are you here?"

"to see my old friend again! and to tell you there's always more than meets the eye." jeff then taps a finger underneath his left eye, and a phantom pain throbs in my own empty socket. i try to ignore it. 

"yeah, no shit," i say, and cross my arms. i was losing my patience. "if you're just going to spout vague nonsense at me like every other motherfucker does on a constant basis, i'm sorry to say but i will have to pass. i have more important things to do."

"like stand in front of this wall and bitch? is that what you're doing here?" jeff grins, and tilts his head at me. i just scoff, and deciding i had enough, i begin trying to do what i came to the wall for in the first place and begin walking parallel to it. jeff follows after me.

"im only bitching because here you are to distract me," i say, side-eyeing him, "so if you don't mind, kindly fuck off."

"i do mind, actually. why do you even want to leave? its paradise in here. no need to eat or drink, perfect climate, no irritating neighbors or awkward staredowns at the grocery store- you'd love it!"

i stop in my tracks. i hate that the sound of his voice is enough to get me to actually consider his words. but i do, and then i say:

"you know, for a while there, i did enjoy it. to an extent, anyways. you can only enjoy so much when you are all too aware of every little fucking thing. and maybe i could have handled the ghost thing, right? like you said, no neighbors or weird interactions. but then i saw this wall, and now i feel like a trapped animal - and im not okay with that."

"so if you couldnt see the wall, it'd be fine?"

i shake my head, "i came out here the first time to see if i could leave, and i wouldve kept walking if there was nothing to stop me. maybe i would have returned, after a while, had i done so. maybe not." i shrug, somewhat frustrated at the thought. "a wall is a wall, whether i can see it or not. seeing isnt the problem, the existence of the thing is."

"well yeah, but you can't just leave." jeff says it like its obvious. in hindsight, maybe it was. i could already imagine a few reasons as to why, but i wanted to pry out what jeff seems to think the answer is.

so i ask, "and why is that?"

jeff answers: "because there's...people, out there? like, innocent fuckin people, dude." well duh.

i roll my eyes, "im aware. but what does that have to do with me, exactly? habit is already somewhere else doing god knows what."

jeff looks on blankly. "we don't need two of you out there."

ouch. and unfortunately, on some level i believe it to be true. and the implication that i would intentionally hurt or even kill anyone like habit would...im sadly all too aware of the likelihood, really. it doesnt hurt because i feel bad, it hurts because i dont. however, i wasnt about to let this guy know that.

i say, "it's not like id be very social anyways. at this point, i dont think i could even stomach it."

jeff takes on a darker sort of air about him. "evidently so, based on how you treated evan. do you have your head screwed on straight, dude? because like, holy shit was that hard to watch."

i tense up, and i can feel a spark of anger rising from within me. guess it didnt matter what i tried to hide, jeff knew what weak points to hit.

"i was just trying to protect him." 

"uh huh," he nods, "sorry vinny, but you're not the guardian in this one."

"clearly," i grumble, "but i was fucking trying, okay?" i was trying. jeff thought otherwise.

"yeah, trying to get everyone killed. thanks for that one, by the way. you've been self absorbed, irresponsible, reckless and horrible to everyone around you that isn't the entity playing games with our lives, and you can't keep pretending it's not true! do some soul searching. meditate. i don't care. but you're not leaving any time soon, so you'd better get used to it." jeff jabs me in the chest with a pointed finger.

it didnt take but a moment to process jeffs words, and ultimately, i agree with him. im a terrible fucking person. i just am. but i wasnt going to give jeff the satisfaction of me fessing up to it - because i felt like all of this was beginning to become unproductive bullshit and i wanted to do what i came all the way out here to do dammit.

i go to smack jeffs hand away from me, but i come to find that i simply pass through him like he was air. i felt the jab, though, even if superficially. this confirms my suspicion about the ghost thing, but jeff was different from the ghosts in the town; like being able to talk and acknowledge my existence.

i take a step back, "we'll see about that. who the fuck made this wall, hm? you of all things must know right? since you are apparently a plethora of knowledge of good and evil now. can you do that much for me jeff?"

jeff considers my words before he turns away from me to face the terrible wall, his hands on his hips, and his head craning back to presumably observe the wall's endless climb into the sky above.

"habit designed this gaudy architecture as part of his grand scheme. you probably could have figured that much, eh? but what you wouldnt know is that its been here since the very beginning, before you even arrived at the house." he looks back at me, "come on vin. you should know by now that habit is well prepared...even if this timeline is bonkers. you shouldnt need me to tell you that."

i grumble in annoyance, but consider his words carefully. sure, maybe i didnt need him to tell me habit was a suspect in all this, and maybe i could have figured that out just by doing what i had originally planned with scouting the perimeter of the wall. but...here jeff was, telling me things outright. it was a convenient time saver really, even if he was going about it in a bitchy way. i needed to take advantage of this.

"so, if habit made this cage to keep me in, why shouldnt i try to break out? why shouldnt i try to fight his subjugation?"

"one, because habit has eons of experience over you and you'll likely fuck something up really badly," jeff says, and turns towards me again. "two, you're part of this place now. removing you would shatter a really delicate balance. the house is a place of fluctuation, because there's not enough power to sustain herself. and you're radiating power, dude. would you really just abandon her like that, after all she's done to keep you safe and alive?"

ouch again...ugh. i dont usually feel guilty over a lot of things, but jeffs second point seemed to get to me.

i relent. i cower my head to stare at the ground. "i wouldnt have left her forever."

jeff gives me a disappointed sigh. "go back home, man. she's really worried about you."

i bite my lip and give the slightest of nods. i still want to do what i can to escape, and i hadnt forgotten about why i came to the wall in the first place...but jeff's words had me thinking about my desires for the house. in truth, the house and i have formed a strange sort of...i dunno, friendship? its the closest human word i can think for it. i would talk to her, she would listen. id even clean up her rooms, even though ive observed that she can do it by herself.

i think she may be the only thing in this world that can understand me now.

so i feel like in some weird way, the house cares about me. she has done quite a few favors for me, after all; favors that kept me safer. jeff was right again, and i couldnt shake the wrongness of abandoning the house enough to continue talking my way out of this bind.

it was time to go then. but first, i look back up at jeff.

"what about you?" i ask, my mood seriously taking a nose dive off a cliff. sad and desperate and pathetic and lonely. "you came all this way from wherever, however you did it, to tell me all this...are you going to leave me now too, just like evan?" fuck. "i wouldn't blame you if you did...but i have to admit, it was nice seeing you again."

and truthfully, it was - despite the treatment i received. its fine. i deserved it.

jeff leans in, and i can feel the pity in his eyes as he puts a hand on my shoulder.

"that choice isn't mine to make."

and then he shoves me away from the wall with a force that sends me tumbling across the ground a good few feet. i think it fucked up my shoulder. its fine. deserved that too.

and then i went home.

>>

[mwdders]

Hello

Requested: No, but send me requests.

Warnings: swearing, abuse, fighting, toxic behaviour.

Harry Hook x reader

Word Count: 3,084

Plot: This is based off the song Everytime by Ariana Grande. It’s about being in a toxic relationship, and even though they know they’re no good for each other they always go back to each other no matter what.

—

Waiting at the door, it seems like forever, I was suppose to be meeting Harry nearly 2 hours ago. Having the feeling he wasn’t going to show again I storm off and back to my room.

I get tired of your no shows

Unlocking my dorm, I huff and walk over to my bed, Jane my room mate looks up at me.

“Did he not show again?”

“No he didn’t.” I fall back onto my bed. “Am i doing something wrong? That’s 3 times this week he’s not shown.”

“Sweetie you’re not doing anything wrong. Harry’s clearly just not got his priories straight.” She looks at me sympathetically.

“I’m going to find him.” I stand up and quickly change from the clothes I was wearing for our date into a black dress, pink jacket and black heeled ankle boots.

“Is that wise? I mean you’re angry, he might have a good excuse.”

“No, he won’t. I already know what’s happened. I bet I’ll find him in Uma’s office.” Without giving Jane the chance to reply I’m out the door.

Walking down the corridor I walk past people staring at me, I may be an Auradon kid but i am not a princess and certainly do not act like one.

Walking to Uma’s dorm, I knock on the door next to it, which is her office. “Who is it?”

“Y/n. Open up.” The door opens and Uma stands in front of me. “Have you seen Harry?”

“No, sorry. Why?”

“He never showed for our date and I waited 2 hours.” For a second she looks sympathetic but that quickly vanishes. “Huh, maybe he did say something about training?” She puts her fingers to her chin as if she’s thinking.

“No games today Uma. I’m not in the mood.”

“Like I said, try the gym.” She slams the door in my face and I swear I could rip her head off her body.

Sauntering away I make my way towards the gym. Pushing the double doors open probably a little too dramatically, I find Harry training with the rest of the crew but also Jay.

“There you are.”

“Princess.” He smiles at me but keeps training.

“Forget something?” I walk over to him my heels clicking on the tiled floor. “I don’t think so.” “Oh I think you did.” I lean against a pillar and cross my arms. “Nothing comes to mind?” He questions looking at me, I raise my eyebrows, he can’t be serious. “Sweetheart, I’ve been waiting 2 hours for you.” “I’m still confused? I’ve been in the gym, every Thursday 3-5 is my gym time.” “No baby, you were suppose to meet me for our date.” He stops what he’s doing and turns to me. “No that’s tomorrow.” He shakes his head. “Harry, it was today.” Trying not to get angry, I breathe a little deeper, “Y/n it’s tomorrow. I’m certain.” I stand in front of him forcing him to stop.

“No. It was today, and you left me waiting for 2 hours. I told you, that Thursday 3-4 is our weekly date. You’ve not showed up three times now because we keep changing it to suit you.”

“Geez you should calm down, I’m sorry I forgot baby but you don’t control my life.”

You get tired of my control

“Everyone out!” I yell, my patience at breaking point. “What? You can’t just kick us out.” Someone says, I turn to them, it being one of Uma’s pirates. “Get the fuck out now before I pull your tongue out your throat and shove it up your ass.” I yell causing everyone to run out the room.

“Y/n what are ya doing love?” “I’ve had enough of you Harry! You never show up, you except me to revolve my life around you, you never consider my life or plans, it’s like you don’t even care for me!”

“I do! It’s just I’m my own person, you try to control me like I’m some perfect prince and I ain’t. I have duties, to myself and to Uma”

“Here we go again, Uma this Uma that. All ya ever do is talk about that bitch!”

“Don’t you call her that!” Harry grabs my jacket by the collar pulling me into him forcefully. “Get your hands off me.” I shove him away and hit him. “Never ever grab me like that again.” He puts his hand to his cheek where there’s an evident red mark. “You hit me? You actually hit me.” “You grabbed me? All because I called Uma a bitch.” “Yeah and I’d do it again in a heartbeat if you were to say it again.” “Noted. I’m going to go now.” “Wait y/n,” he grabs my hand pulling me back, “I am sorry I missed our date.” “It’s fine Harry. I’ll see you later.” I walk away and out the double doors, as I do, I see a crowd of people standing there, clearly being nosey listening to me and Harry fight. “Scram you pieces of shit!” I growl and they all scatter running away.

Walking back to my dorm, i think about what happened with Harry, how he grabbed me and he said he’d do it again if I disrespected Uma, maybe he’s not who I thought he was.

Sighing I enter my room, and take my jacket off throwing it on my bed. “Oh my god! Y/n your neck.” Jane says, I turn to look at her, not realising, Evie and Carlos were sat with her.

“What?” “It’s all red! Like a huge red mark!”

I walk to the mirror and inspect my neck, she was right, there was a huge mark, it must of been where Harry grabbed my collar.

“What happened?”

“Oh erm, Harry grabbed me.”

“He what?!” All 3 say at the same time.

“Yeah, he grabbed me by the collar, but I shoved him away and hit him.” “Jesus y/n, you hit him?” I sit down on my bed opposite the three who were all sat on Jane’s bed.

“Erm yeah, I had no choice, I don’t think he would of let go otherwise.”

“Do we need to talk to him? Im sure Mal and Jay would be happy too.”

“No I’m fine honestly, I sorted it.”

“If you’re sure.” “I am. Thank you though.”

I stand up and walk over to my vanity, I keep lots of things in it but mostly alcohol. I pour myself a drink and down it. “Steady y/n.” Evie says, “I want to forget today ever happened so I’m not slowing down.” I repeat my actions, drink, pour, drink, pour and so on.

I get drunk, pretend that I'm over it

By 10pm I was laying in my bed, drunk and crying, “Why is my life like this Jane? Why couldn’t I have chosen a simple prince, why did I fall for the most complicated boy in Auradon?”

“I don’t know y/n. You know what they say, you can’t chose who your fall for.” “I understand that I do! But I just don’t get Harry, why can’t he just give me some of his time, it’s like he doesn’t even care about me but then he tells me he loves me? It’s so toxic.” “If you feel like that, you should end things with him. You can’t stay with someone you feel doesn’t care about you, even if they do say they love you.”

“But I can’t! There’s something about him that draws me too him, it’s like a connection. I’m hopeless without him but we’re evil together.”

They keep telling me to let go

But I don't really let go when I say so

“Sweetie, you need to sleep and talk to him tomorrow. You can’t make decisions while you’re drunk.” “I suppose not.” Just as I’m about to snuggle down into bed, there’s a knock at the door. “I’ll get it.” I get up and open the door, “Harry? What are you doing here?” “I needed to see you. To make sure you were okay.” He slurred his words and if I wasn’t so drunk I’d say he was drunker.

“Are you high?” I ask being able to smell it on him. “Maybe just a little.” “Oh for god sake, you need to go and sleep it off. We can talk tomorrow.” I push him out the room and walk him to his dorm, we’re like a pair of idiots, he’s leaning on me because he’s seeing double and I’m trying not to trip because the room is spinning.

I open his door to find Gil, Jay and Carlos, they all share a room. “Can one of you take him? He’s high.” I say shoving Harry off me and he falls on Gil’s bed. “Where are ya going?” “To bed.” I attempt to walk to the door but can’t locate it. “Are you drunk y/n?” I turn, not sure which one said it, “Yes, I’ve had a rough day. Don’t judge.” I narrow my eyes at the three of them.

“The doors on the left.” I nod and walk to the door, pushing it open, with a force before tripping over my own feet, making my way back to the dorm.

You get high and call on the regular

I pull my covers back and try to fall asleep, I know for a fact I’ll be hungover tomorrow and have to deal with Harry.

Waking up my hard was pounding, “Ugh.” Rolling over I sit up to Jane not in her bed, picking up my alarm clock, the small numbers reading 1:30pm. I’ve missed all my classes, I’m going to be in so much trouble.

“Oh morning sleepy head!” The door opens and Jane strolls in with a bag of food.

“You’ve missed your classes but I covered for you, said you were ill and when my mum checked on you, you were sleeping so I think you’re safe. I bought you water and a sandwich.”

“Oh thank you.” I stand up and quickly walk over to my wardrobe getting dressed into black jeans and a black top before brushing my teeth. As I sit down to eat, I ask Jane, “Have you er, have you seen Harry today?”

“I did, he was at practice. He didn’t seem himself.” She had a puzzled look on her face.

“Oh, I’m going to go and see him.” I stand up having finished my food and put my boots on.

“Okay, he should be in the gym, practice ran an hour late today so they don’t finish till 2.” I nod, leaving our room.

Mine and Harry’s relationship has always been rocky and by far no means perfect. We argue more than anything, we’re complete opposites, but we’ve been together for 3 years now.

Pushing open the gym door, I see the boys all stood in a circle talking. I stay back and wait sitting down on a bench. The boys break and all walk in different directions, Harry looks around the room spotting me and smiling slightly.

“Hey you.” He comes and sits with me, putting his arm around my shoulders.

“Where were you today?” “I slept through my alarm so didn’t bother with my lessons.” I shrug, “Fairy godmother was concerned about ya, so was I.” “I’m fine. Just overslept.” He pushes my hair out my face and a worrying look appears on his face, “Is that what I did yesterday?” He runs his fingers over the red mark on my neck, I flinch slightly, it clearly bruising. “Yeah.” I sigh, I look up at him for the first time and see a big purple bruise on his face, “Is that what I did yesterday?” Shocked I put both hands on his face and run my thumb over the bruise.

“It’s okay, I deserved it. I’m so sorry I did that to you.” His head drops and I lift his chin.

“Don’t be.” “I’m no good for you Y/n.” “Don’t you say that.” I sit even closer to him, “But it’s true Y/n. We fall out so much, I’m not good enough for you. You should be with someone who deserves you.” I shake my head profoundly, “That’s not true. If anything it’s the other way around Harry.” “I feel like we need space.” “What?” “I’m sorry but it’s over, we need time apart.” He gets up letting my hands go, before walking out the room. Shocked I sit there for ages, staring at the ceiling, my whole world falling apart around me. The silence was so loud it was deafening, it was like I was in another world, everything moving in slow motion.

Because I'm really not here when you're not there

I stand up and wipe the single tear that fell down my cheek away. I walk, slowly back to my room, when I open the door Jane was there, sat at her desk reading. “You okay?” I shake my head and sit on my bed pulling my knees to my chest. “What happened?” “We broke up.” I shut my eyes trying to not let the tears fall. “Oh Y/n I’m sorry.” Jane takes my silence as a queue to talk again, “Do you still want to go to the barbecue?” “Sure, I can’t hide forever I suppose.” I stand up and grab a grey jumper, slipping it over my black top.

“Let’s go.” She links our arms and I smile slightly at her efforts to cheer me up.

We walk out to the field and see everyone sat around a fire. “Hey Y/n.” Mal waves me and Jane over and we sit with her, I see Harry’s head rise at the mention of my name and he looks at me quickly before dropping his eyes again.

The evening flows and all I can do is stare into space and smile at people when they mention my name, I couldn’t even look at Harry without feeling emotionless.

I keep giving people blank stares

I'm so different when you're not there

Once the bonfire finishes, I stay and sit in front of the fire, even though the evening was cold, the air was warm from the flames. “Want some company?” I look up surprised, “Sure.” I shuffle over and make room for Harry. “What are you doing here? I thought you wanted space.” “I did, but I can see you’re shutting everyone out. You didn’t speak a single word at the bonfire.” “I didn’t feel like it.” “Love, you can’t ignore people.” “Why not? You do.” “That’s different.” “Oh really? So it’s different when you ignore me, when you ignore our plans?” “No it’s not but Y/n you know we’re not good for each other.” “We are for each other, we are so good for each other Harry.” “What makes you say that! We’re toxic, we argue, hell we even hit each other yesterday, we’re crazy.” Angry I stand up, “You’re wrong. We may be bad for each other but the good out-ways it. Hell when we’re good we’re amazing, I love you Harry, you know that.” “I love you too but I can’t deal with the stress, the control and the things you make me do.” “Fine then.” I walk away but he grabs me pulling me back. “I’m sorry love but it’s just how it has to be.” “Go to hell.” I yell at him before walking away and back to my room.

-(A month later) as I walk into the cafeteria, everyone stops talking and they all look at me, “What are you all looking at?” I shout, causing everyone to continue talking and eating, word must of spread about mine and Harry’s break up.

I sit at an empty table and eat my lunch.

“Y/n!” I look up to see Jane running towards me. “You’ve got to come with me now!” She drags me out my chair. “What? What’s going on?” She doesn’t answer me but continues run. “Jane stop!” I pull my arm back halting her in her tracks. “Tell me now!” “It’s Harry, he’s gone crazy, he’s challenged Chad to a fight, loser having to go to the Isle.” Following her out to the field, I see everyone gathered around Chad and Harry, I push through everyone until I’m stood in between them, “Have you gone mad?”I yell at Harry, he looks surprised to see me, I’m surprised to see him too, I haven’t seen him in a month. “Maybe.” “This stops now.” I say pushing Chad away and dragging Harry by the arm. “You’re insane. Loser has to go to the isle? Harry, Chad would of beat you easily.” “That’s the point.” We sit away from everyone on the bleachers. “You want to go back to the isle?”

“Yeah, I mean I’ve no purpose here now.” “What do you mean? Of course you do?” “Not without you Y/n. I’ve had this hell this last month. I’ve not been myself. I’ve hated it.”

I'm so different when you're not there

“Me too.” I look up at him and grab his hands, he stares at me with those blues eyes that could melt anyone’s heart and make them fall to their knee’s.

I get weak and fall like a teenager

“I’m really sorry, I thought I needed space but I really don’t.” I smile slightly and look up at him.

“You mean so much to me.” He places a hand on my face and kisses me softly. “I’ve missed you.” I pull him in for a hug and hold him tight.

“Don’t leave me again.” He squeezes me tightly and lets go, resting his forehead on mine, “I won’t. Even if we are no good.” I giggle, making him laugh too. I kiss him again and turn in my seat, leaning into his chest, he sighs and puts his arm around my shoulders. “I love you.” “I love you too.” I reply. Let’s see how long this good phase lasts before we fall out again.

I go back to you, back to you, back to you everytime.

-

Hope you liked it. Working on request now will be up tomorrow or Wednesday.

[chokememrstark]

Requiem Of Memories // Part 5

Ship: Samifer (Sam Winchester / Lucifer)

Words: 2441 (Chapter 5 / 15)

Fic Summary: Despite the new environment, which is surprisingly luxurious, Sam's guilt won't leave him alone. He can't stop blaming himself for what happened and it doesn't help that he now lives even closer together with the one who constantly reminds him of it.

angst, hurt & comfort, alternative universe, au!lucifer, mourning, depression, blood and gore, nightmares, loneliness

Note: I highly recommend to read Nightmares Become Reality before this, otherwise the premise of the story and the setting might not make much sense.

Sorry for the delay in posting.

Tagging: @shebahda @sassysupernaturalsweetheart  @spnyoucantkeepmedown   @brieflymaximumprincess  @kajuned @archingangel @this-darkness-light @dreamreaded @secretlydaydreaminglifeaway @humongouscandycoffee

If you want off the tag list or want to be added, just drop me an ask or IM!

Read on AO3!

 Sam didn’t expect much when Lucifer laid a hand on his arm and zapped them to the place he stayed, but what he saw merely seconds after both shocked and impressed him. The room was huge - not only big, but literally huge - and Sam spent a good minute just staring around and taking in the size alone. The ceiling was at least ten foot high and the windows flooded the room with light, making it appear even bigger. There were heavy black curtains and chandeliers - two of them - as well as a king size bed, comfy chairs and sofas. In the corner behind Lucifer stood a big wooden desk, covered with books and papers, and behind Sam was a table with what looked like an old gramophone.

 One of the walls, Sam quickly realized as he turned around, was covered entirely with books and to round up the scene with a very stereotypical picture, not far away was a fireplace with a bear skin in front of it and two big chairs. Sam’s lip jerked when he saw this, the surreality of the situation getting to him without his consent. There was a fire burning and the room was well temperate, despite its size. Overall it looked more like a luxurious mansion than the ‘chamber’ the Devil lived in.

 “You live like this and keep me in this ugly small room?” Sam asked eventually, not trying to hide his annoyance. Lucifer smirked knowingly.

 “No, usually I don’t live here but in the room next to this. This one is yours and yours alone, if you want it to be. This is, or rather was, the conference room, which is why my desk is still here. It’s where I work.”

 “And what work do you have to do?” Sam was curious, he couldn’t think of anything.

 “Don’t concern yourself with my work,” Lucifer answered calmly. “It’s just the things that come with being me, nothing that should worry you.”

 “Devil duties, got it,” Sam huffed, not even surprised that Lucifer didn’t tell him. “And you want me to stay here, really? Wouldn’t I disturb your business?”

 “No need to worry about that, this place is yours to stay in for as long as you wish. As I said, I don’t expect anything in return and I will be in my own room should you ask me to leave. There are a few hundred books for you to choose from and if you want to listen to music, the gramophone behind you is yours as well. And of course you can sleep whenever you want to or eat, all I ask of you is to rest and recover.”

 “I don’t understand why you do this for me, but thank you,” Sam said honestly, even though a bit quiet. He was flustered by Lucifer’s generosity, something he didn’t expect from him. “You don’t have a kitchen and a pantry too by any chance?”

 “There is a kitchen actually, yes,” Lucifer nodded and signed Sam to follow him. “This was the warden’s house once, so it’s a fully functional apartment for all needs. There is only one problem.”

 “And what problem is that?”

 Lucifer opened a door they just reached, signaling Sam to step inside. After he followed, he walked over to the opposite side of the room to pull the curtains away, revealing a very dusty and very old looking kitchen with interior Sam had not seen before.

 “No one has used this kitchen in about eighty years.”

 “Damn,” Sam hissed and looked around. Everything still looked intact, that much he could see right away, but how on earth he was supposed to use this 19th century kitchen he would have to figure out. “That’s a challenge for sure.”

 Lucifer gave him an amused smile and nodded.

 “You can try to make it work, of course, but I can’t promise everything is still functional. The stove seems to be powered by wood, so if you want to, I would gladly bring you some to try.”

 “Later maybe,” Sam laughed nervously and shook his head. “I don’t think I have the patience for this right now.”

 “As you wish,” Lucifer nodded and guided Sam back outside. “Of course there is a bathroom too, which is fully functional,” he said and pointed towards a different door a bit to the left. “There is a big tub, but it only supplies cold water.”

 “But you could heat the water, or not?” Sam asked curious and raised a brow.

 “Of course,” Lucifer smirked. “I might burn cold, but I’m an angel, I have a few tricks up my sleeve. Just call me if you wish to take a bath, I will prepare everything for you.”

 “Thanks, I think I could need one in the near future.” Sam wrinkled his nose with a grin. “It’s been a while.”

 “Whenever you wish, just say a word.”

 The prospect of a hot bath was very alluring, but right now Sam didn’t have the energy to take one. He still couldn’t process that he could actually stay here now and that Lucifer was honest when he said he didn’t want anything in return. It was too good to be true after this whole nightmare, so of course he was suspicious.

 “I’m actually a pretty hungry right now,” Sam eventually admitted awkwardly and smirked. “As you said, I didn’t really eat much recently…”

 “I will have food prepared for you, maybe you can look around in the meantime and make yourself at home.” Lucifer turned toward another door, one that obviously led out of the room, but before leaving he turned around again and gave Sam a stern look. “There is only one thing I ask you to stay away from and that is my desk. It looks like chaos, but I know where to find everything and it would be nice to keep it that way.”

 “O-of course, yeah,” Sam muttered, a bit confused. “I won’t touch anything on your desk, I promise.”

 “Thank you,” Lucifer nodded relieved. “I will be back soon.”

 Sam was about to thank the angel again, but he was already out of the door when he managed to open his mouth. A bit baffled, Sam huffed and walked around the room to look at everything more closely while he was alone.

 Overall, he felt that this could be a very nice place to live - it looked comfy and was warm, there were things to do and nothing looked dangerous - but he didn’t know if he would be able to do that with Lucifer as company. It wasn’t that he hated him, he actually started to think Lucifer was rather polite and nice and he kind of enjoyed having him around, it was more of a general uneasy feeling inside of him. Lucifer seemed to be genuine in his actions and Sam believed that he actually cared, so why did he feel like this?

     Because he’s the wrong Lucifer, that’s why. He’s honest, but you wish he would be the Lucifer you know.  

 This thought surprised Sam, but it hit a nerve and he knew it. The behavior the angel showed reminded him of how things could have been if he had trusted his Lucifer when he had had the chance. It wasn’t fair that his Lucifer had to die when they were finally about to solve their problems, most of which had been caused by Sam denying his own feelings. Now there was a different Lucifer - one who looked very similar to the one he knew but who had lived a whole different life and who had never met him before - and he acted so different towards Sam that it hurt. If he would have been cruel or aggressive things might be different, but he wasn’t and Sam had to realize that the reason they had never managed to get past their difficulties in the past wasn’t Lucifer, it was him. It was a depressing realization that forced Sam to sit down on the bed for stability.

 More than ever before Sam wished that he could talk to his Lucifer one last time. Even if he couldn’t bring him back, there were so many things left unsaid and it felt awful being denied the chance to speak them out. And most of all, Sam wanted to apologize. Of course Lucifer had done terrible things and a lot of these things had caused harm and suffering, but that he had never once found the understanding that he deserved shattered Sam. He knew how horrible it felt to be shunned and demonized by someone you trust and love, that Lucifer had to go through this again and again for most of his life wasn’t something he felt right about. Sam had had the chance to change this situation and he had been too stubborn to realize it. He couldn’t blame anyone else but himself for this, that was clear.

 “I was such an awful piece of shit, Lucifer,” Sam groaned and covered his face with his hands. He knew the other couldn’t hear him and that he never would again, but right now he was unable to keep the words in. “I knew you weren’t lying, I knew you never wanted to fight and I still acted as if you were the personification of evil. I don’t have any excuse, there couldn’t possibly be one, but I was so damn scared, you have no idea.”

 Saying it out loud was torture and relief at the same time. Yes, Sam had been scared. Scared out of his mind, in fact. He had been scared of his understanding towards Lucifer and that he could relate to the horrible things he had gone through. Hearing the things Lucifer said, how his father turned on him and how his brother cast him out, calling him a monster and a freak and worse, had just been too close to the things Sam had experienced to ignore it and with his understanding came fear - fear that all these things were true, that he was really a monster. That he was Lucifer’s true vessel only worsened everything, even though it should have done something else. In the end, Sam had decided to fight Lucifer instead of understanding him and that was the true reason why everything had gone so wrong.

 “I’m so sorry, Lucifer, you have no idea,” Sam sniffed and cranked his fingers to his nails dug into his skin. “I would do anything to go back and do the right thing, I would die if I had to, but I just can’t. It’s my fault all of this happened, just because I was too scared to accept the truth and help you. I didn’t know what disgusting and horrible thing I did… I really didn’t know…”

 A knock on the door almost startled Sam to the point of panicking, but he managed to pull himself together just in time. He looked up, rubbing his eyes and quietly saying: “Come in.”

 “I have your food.” It was Lucifer of course and Sam tried his very best to hide the fact that he had just been crying and talking to his dead alter ego, but it was useless. As soon as Lucifer raised his gaze and his eyes fell on the hunter it was clear that he knew. “Sam, is everything alright? Did something happen?”

 “No,” Sam said, still nasally, and shook his head. “It’s nothing, I just… had a moment, I guess. I’m fine, really.”

 Lucifer narrowed his eyes, but didn’t say anything while walking over to the bed and placing the food on the nightstand next to Sam. Only after he was done he looked at the other and Sam could see the worry in his eyes.

 “Mourning is nothing to be ashamed of and neither are grief or regret,” the angel said, completely catching Sam off guard. He had not expected this. “Sadness shows that you care and that’s important.”

 “I know, but…” Sam began, but couldn’t finish the sentence.

 “No ‘but’, Sam.” Lucifer shook his head. “I know you’re in pain, I can feel it. Not physically, but in your heart, in your soul. You have lost someone important and there is no shame in feeling like you do when this happens. It takes time for these wounds to heal and sometimes they refuse to heal forever, so take this time and don’t be ashamed of it.”

 “I… I’m not ashamed,” Sam disagreed weakly. “I don’t think I am at least… I just don’t know what to feel right now, that’s all.”

 “It troubles you that we look so much alike, doesn’t it?” Lucifer asked and sat down on the bed too, a bit away from Sam.

 “It’s not helping at least…”

 “I’m sorry that I cause you so much additional pain, that’s not intentional, I hope you know that.”

 “Of course I do, it’s not like it’s your fault that you look alike,” Sam said and gave Lucifer a faint smile. “It’s just… hard looking at you and hearing your voice and knowing you are you and not… him. It doesn’t feel right somehow...”

 “I wish I could have saved your friend or bring him back, I mean it. If it was in my power to do so, I would.”

 “I know, thanks,” Sam sighed. “I know he won’t come back, not this time, no… I just wish I could have said certain things, that I could apologize for what I did to him.”

 “I’m sure he knew, Sam,” Lucifer said and laid a hand on the hunter’s shoulder carefully. “You were with him when he died, I’m sure he was very thankful for that.”

 Sam looked up, trying to say something, but the words just wouldn’t come. He just stared at Lucifer with wet eyes, fighting to control his emotions and knowing he would fail miserably. When he did, he simply fell forward into Lucifer’s arms and let it all out. The angel held him tight, an embrace that was painful and consoling at once, but that Sam was glad about nonetheless.

 No, he wasn’t his Lucifer, but he was still      Lucifer    . It was a small solace, but it was one and Sam knew that he was lucky to be here now, instead of being torn apart in a cabin in the middle of nowhere. He was with Lucifer in a way and maybe it would all turn out good in the end. He had no idea how that was supposed to happen, but he hoped against all odds that it was the right decision to stay with this Lucifer.

[imdifferentshadesofpurple]

#40 + JB please!

“Everybody keeps telling me you’re the bad guy.” // 040 out of 100 Im Jaebum (GOT7)

You were ten when you witnessed the death of your father at your own mother’s hands.

Later on, much later, you were told your mother was Lilith, a very powerful demon - one of the best soldiers in Lucifer’s army.

It seemed like such a long time ago, the pain you endured once you came to the realization that your beloved mother was a demon. And that your poor human of a father had fallen prey to her without knowing what she was.

And that you, the product of their union, were a half demon.

You’re unsure of where you’d be now if The Priory hadn’t taken you in. A community that vowed to destroy every trace of evil in the world, adopting you into the fold even though they knew what lied in your blood. They trained you mercilessly, even more so when your demonic abilities made their appearance four years later. They molded you, piece by piece, into what you were now.

A demon hunter.

It was unheard of. A half demon working for The Priory. A half demon with powers as strong as her mother’s. People worried that in time, you’d turn on them like she had turned on your father.

It took the joint effort of Sister Catherine and the Supreme Mother to convince those that were doubtful that you would remind loyal. They had given you a home and were raised in the belief that demons were evil and had to be eliminated.

They were sure you’d never turn your back on them.

It’s early morning, too early for you on your day off, when Sister Catherine hustles you out of bed. She looks tired which immediately wakes you up.

She was never tired. And even if she was, she plastered a huge smile on her petite face and made sure you ate all your vegetables.

She leads you through the Institute, The Priory’s main base of operations, before stopping in front of the Supreme Mother’s doors, her office on the other side.

“She needed to speak with you immediately. So behave.”

You snort, running a hand through your unbrushed hair, “I’m a delight.”She isn’t pleased with your answer and you take notice of the wrinkles around her eyes, remembering how young she was when you first arrived.

You straighten, eyes lowering to the ground, “Yes Sister.”

Her features soften and her hand comes to rest on your arm before knocking and turning away. You enter slowly once you hear a soft ‘come in’, the moonlight coming in through the large windows guiding a path to where the Supreme Mother is leaning against her desk.

“You called for me?”

She turns towards you, all business, “I did. Something has happened. And I want you to handle it.”

You’re surprised at this. You were the best demon hunter here but that’s all you did. You hunted. You killed. And you returned to rest before repeating the process. The rest of it was handled by the Supreme Mother and her many minions.

“What could I possibly do?”

She smiled, “Everything. I think we can safely assume that you are valued here. You were brought to us when you were ten, scared and alone, and we taught you the ways of The Priory. But now, I’m going to need you to tap into another one your abilities.”

“…which is?”“Empathy.”“I’m sorry I don’t…I don’t understand.”

She doesn’t answer, simply leads you down into The Dungeons, a stronghold where lower level demons were held and used for information. You had put many down here yourself. You stop at the end of the hall and find yourself staring at a boy, a boy not much older than you, beaten and unconscious on the bed pushed up against the corner.

“What is a human doing in there?”

The Supreme Mother’s gaze turns to you, “He isn’t human Y/N. He is a demon. His parents, Lamia and Abigor, are also commanders in Lucifer’s army. Just like your mother. We found the boy on the front steps in this condition.”

Your breath quickens at the news of who his parents are. “He looks so…normal,” you whisper, hand rising to rest on the glass that separates you both.

“You look normal. To someone who can’t tell the difference, you’re just like every other girl your age.”“I don’t understand Supreme Mother. What exactly do you want me to do?”

But she’s already turning, walking away from you. You can’t seem to tear your eyes away as the boy starts to stir so you almost miss her calling out to you. You face her, hand still on the glass.

“I want information. You both know what it’s like to have demonic abilities. And he may what we need to truly take down Lucifer. Get what we need. And then kill him.”

“I’m human. Completely, 100%, human.”

You can only stare at Jaebum (an interesting yet normal name) as he munches on the food you brought him. You’re sitting on the other side of glass, trying to figure out what his game was. In jeans and a simple, but battered, black tshirt, he really did look as human as they came.

But even you could pull off that look.

“You know how impossible that is, right? To be the offspring of two demons and be completely, 100%, human?”

Jaebum shrugged and it was becoming a habit you weren’t particular fond of. “I don’t know what to tell you Y/N,” he manages to say around the food in his mouth, “I’ve lived with my grandmother all my life. I’ve known about my parents and what they were since I was ten. But at the age I was supposed to develop…abilities…they never came. You can’t seriously tell me I’m a demon with no demonic powers.”

Dammit. He had a point.

“Why were you bloody and unconscious on the steps of the Institute then?”

Another shrug. Another bite of the sandwich.

“That I don’t remember. The last thing I do is leaving my econ class on campus.”“You go to school?”“UCLA.”

The mention of a school on the other side of the country perks your interest. “Jaebum…you do know where you are right?”

“You said the Institute.”“I did. But you do know the Institute is here…in New York.”

He almost chokes on his sandwich.

You sigh, “So you’re telling me that you’re completely human even though you’ve got two demon parents and that you go to school on the other side of the country and have no recollection of how you got here all bloody and bruised?”

“…I guess that’s what I’m saying.”“Supremem Mother isn’t going to buy any of this.”“Well she’ll have to. It’s the truth. It doesn’t make sense but it’s the truth all the same.”

“Everyone keeps telling me you’re the bad guy.”

He suddenly becomes serious, “And let me guess. You kill the bad guys.”

“It’s what I’m trained to do. It’s what I’m good at. And if it isn’t me, it will be another hunter. I don’t know if you understand. This place, it isn’t safe for you if everyone thinks you’re lying. It took years for them to fully accept me and what I am. It took years until I was finally comfortable using my abilities when I fought. And to some, all I am is a half demon. And they’ll have no issues if I need to be disposed of. You can tell me you’re human Jaebum. But it isn’t me you need to convince.”

“So let me out and I’ll convince them.”“You’ll need a hell of a bargaining chip just to make your way out of there.”

Sandwich finished, he leaned against the wall, head falling back onto the brick as his gaze met yours.

“I may be human, but it doesn’t mean I don’t know a thing or two. I spent quite a bit of my childhood trying to figure out if I was gonna sprout wings and a tail or some shit. And I bet the Supreme Mother would take quite an interest in what I found when I was twelve.”

Now your curiosity was kicking in, “And what did you find when you were twelve?”

Even though he was (maybe) human, his smile was downright devilish as he leaned forward.

“I found Eden.”

A/N: Hello there. Still on semi-hiatus but I’m trying to get a little writing done, one request at a time. Thanks for your patience and I hope you enjoy.

xoxo, Mo

[tinytaehyun]

an introduction to ikon (pt 1) for my bitch anna aka hyungnu

- --8) here we fuckin go @hyungnu

- used to be Team B but lost to Team A which is now known as Winner (#WINKON)

- they’ve been in two survival shows bc YG is an asshole (WIN: Who is Next and then Mix & Match)

- Team B consisted of: Hanbin / B.I, Bobby, Junhoe / Junhwe / June (i know wtf), Jinhwan, Donghyuk and Yunhyeong

- since they lost WIN, they were either going to 1) split up or 2) be rearranged(?)

- three trainees were added during Mix & Match (NO.MERCY FLASHBACKS ANYONE??? M&M WAS FIRST THO) the three trainees were Jinhyeong (we have no idea where he is now he is debuting soon!), Hongseok (now in Pentagon) and Chanwoo (he played child Gu Jun Pyo in Boys Over Flowers + was in a few other dramas, now a member of iKon)

- debuted as 7 obviously, Chanwoo being the evil maknae

- K in iKon stands for Korea

- iJon is a running joke in the fandom bc these fuckers were in japan forever

- they say they have no friends because they’re boring (they’re also very shy w new people but iKonsta X is now a thing hehehehehhe)

- fandom is called iKonics bc we are one w ikon (so cute i love them sm)

- kings of fanservice 

- they’re really weird and loud and don’t give a fuck about who thinks they’re strange (think like, minhyuk x 7)

- kim hanbin aka b.i 

- 96 line

- has been single his whole life “even if i love someone, no one loves me” (harhar i told u that yesterday)

- leader, rapper, lyricist, composer, choreographer aka an actual genius

- joined YG when he was 15 (basically his dad met a composer dude and then he rapped for him over facetime etc etc)

- dumbin, tigerbin, geniusbin

- don’t let the gif fool u bc one time ikon were asked “whats scarier? b.i in a recording studio or a ghost in a deserted house?” and they all chose b.i in a recording studio help them

- he is known to be v strict during practice which is where tigerbin came from, this lil shit doesn’t fuck around

- sleeps during the day and stays up all night writing and recording, lives in the studio (eats and sleeps there 90% of the time) the members say during comeback time they almost don’t see him at all, works v hard

- but on the other hand, he’s a giant idiot. e.g “aren’t mice reptiles?” “whale isn’t a mammal, it’s a fish” “i don’t know the goats iq cos i don’t even know my own” he wrote a song w/ Psy called Auto Reverse and sent him a text asking what auto reverse meant so psy replied with the meaning of it (the cassette thing where it automatically flips it around so u can listen to the other side)

- was in SMTM3, when he auditioned he forgot his lyrics but then freestyled his way through it like a motherfuckin boss

- didn’t win but this song is iconic (u mean ikonic HA)

- is fucking obsessed with Mickey Mouse (he got jealous bc one time Bobby got a mickey mouse pen as a present, ALTHOUGH literally a few weeks ago he told a fan a “secret” and the “secret” was that he actually doesnt like mickey mouse OK LIAR)

- has a little sister called Hanbyul who he protects with his life, i don’t think she will ever get a bf when she grows up bc he’ll be like NO, I AM YOUR ONLY LOVE (june x hanbyul = angry hanbin)

- loves animals, the members ask him why can’t he treat them like he treats animals (wow he’s my soulmate sry anna)

- Double B is the best ship on the planet (Bobby X B.I) when bobby isn’t around he gets touchy with the other members cos he misses him

- an actual 2 year old

- can’t take a selca to save his life 

- wrote Empty for Winner as a present for debut

- scared of bugs and is bad at foot volleyball (what even is that)

- kim jiwon aka bobby

- 95 line 

- hanbins boyfriend

- writes his own raps a DUHHH

- kimbap, bunny

- thinks hes ugly but BITCH HE AINT

- has a Pooh plush that he has had since he was a little kid and it looks like it has been through some shit

- v sharp jawline ouch my finger 

- takes care of his members very well, he’s like an idiot big brother

- was in SMTM3 with hanbin, and he won that shit. iKing

- him and June are the most awkward couple on the planet it makes me wanna kms but it’s so funny  e.g during M&M June: if Jinhyeong gets into our team, I can get close to him in a day if I open up my heart Bobby: what about me? i’ve been with you for two years! open up your heart to me

- derp of the group

- has sexy ass abs /slips on drool

- can speak english v well bc he moved to Virginia (but he says he can’t speak english im so confused)

- he’s super friendly and really fucking weird 

- this video explains him perfectly im crying mx in the bg LMAO (THE DANCE MOVE AT THE VERY END IS HIS SIGNATURE MOVE)

- he was actually my first bias in ikon but Hanbin ruined my fuckin life

- he styles his own hair....he has had really questionable hair styles, right now he looks like cruella de ville (?) (HE CHANGED IT)

- bitch he has so much fucking energy i honestly don’t understand it 

- kim jinhwan / 13cm fairy 

- jinani, “more famous than tangerines in Jeju”, Jay

- 94 line, oldest in the group but he looks 5, plus his tiny-ness doesn’t help

- is an actual wine mum (like seriously. he likes to drink wine now)

- :23 seconds is still a mystery to everyone in the fandom, where the fuck did he come from

- june is soft for him (and june is a giant bitch so)

- he has a heart shaped beauty mark on his face 

- he makes a really pretty girl 1:11 is him 

- is good friends with Kihyun 8)))) tiny x tiny 

- always gives advice to the members 

- a sweet emotional soul that needs to be protected at all times

- is the reason Yunhyeong became a singer, my hearT

- first person to catch my eye bc he’s so fuckin cute 

- Suhyun from AKMU really likes his voice (and probably him too)

- cries a lot

- his parents have an air BNB kind of thing dedicated to him in Jeju, called Stay At Home for Jinhwan

- his smile makes me want to die 

- he sweats a lot and doesn’t really like to work out

- like’s playing games (like games on variety shows and stuff, not computer ones)

- the best at japanese !!! and chinese, king of languages honestly

- all clothes look good on him like hOW

- goo junhoe / goo junhwe / gu junhoe / ku junhoe / koo junhwe WHY ARE THERE SO MANY VARIATIONS

- let’s just go with June since that’s what he goes by

- 97 line

- "shut up you handsome bastard” - Bobby

- always checking himself out

- not soft for anyone except for Jinhwan

- will he ever love bobby back???

- is handsome, but equally fucking awkward

- best singer in ikon / kpop / the world  

- says he would love to hang out with friends except he doesn’t have any

- instead of a gf, he wants a car

- originally joined YG to be a dancer (mini Michael Jackson)

- selca king (needs to teach hanbin)

- u know how i said he was only soft for jinhwan? i take it back, he’s also soft for konics (when he isn’t being a sassy bitch)

- never shuts up (remember when i linked u to noise pollution???)

-  writes his own songs (in his diary tho)

- one time he dropped his phone in the toilet and washed it with soap

- another time he wanted to take a picture in the water so he took the waterproof case off because it was a hassle until the members were like ??? thats..the case...and he’s like...oh...i thought it was the phone that was waterproof

- attention whore

- kim donghyuk

- 97 line

- dongdong, candy-chan, DK

- a sweet, sweet soul

- main dancer !!! he’s sO GOOD (choreo’d Airplane)

- taeyang said his voice perfectly suits Eyes, Nose, Lips

- he was on a ridiculous diet and we’re all v worried about him T_T he used to stress eat so he was insecure about it but HE IS PERFECT 

- english name is Ezra...idk

- has the best lauGH EVER

- underrated and i don’t know why

- he did a whole “day in the life” on V Live where it was LEGIT SHOWING U EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING. IT WAS LIKE 6 VIDEOS OF HIS DAY

- he just really loves konics

- gasses up Bobby every chance he gets (sigh hes so sweet)

- he can play the piano and drums

- and guitar woops

- he prays before shows and before he eats

- HAS A BEAUTIFUL SMILE I DIE, IT LITERALLY LIGHTS UP THE MOTHERFUCKIN ROOM

- idk man he’s like the sun

- he shines so bright i cry 

- best AT AEGYO 

- song yunhyeong 

- 95 line

- song chef, yoyo, prince, song

- originally wanted to be an actor but thank the lord he changed his mind (YG told him to be a singer)

- used to be hopeless at dancing and singing but look at him now bitch

- back in M&M days, he revealed how much he loves Nivea Cherry lip balm so for the christmas game, hanbin bought him like 100284347398 and he nearly cried

- next minute: he is the nivea ambassador, LEGENDS ONLY

- has his own cooking show on V App

- him and Chanwoo are twins (he hates being called Chanwoo tho watch out)

- eVIL TWINS  

- tells dad jokes (wow is he Anna)

- a positive ray of sunshine 

- you can probs take him home to mama cos he’s so perfect (like hello he’s sweet, moisturises his lips AND he cooks?)

- usually coupled with Donghyuk

- is also kind of underrated and im mad about it

- mum thinks he is handsome (he is, i just needed to throw that in there)

- his smile is beautiful

- beautiful tan skin!!!

- good @ english 

- stylists dress him the best idk why but he always looks good 

- imagine a kihyun x yunhyeong cooking show wow sign me tf up 

- A+ at comic dancing (bobby gets embarrassed about it)

- jung chanwoo

- 98 line

- chanu, chocoball, evil maknae, #MAKNAEONTOP, chan

- 1/2 of the evil twins w yunhyeong, he loves it tho

- hanbin calls him the nicest boy in the world 

- tests his hyungs patience on a daily basis

- sassy little bitch 

- one time he cried cos bobby scolded him (bobby said sorry later)

- was a child actor (gu jun pyo anyone ??)

- he’s a little slow sometimes but the members forgive him cos hes cute LMAO 

- members did a hidden camera on him once and he passed with flying colours  Hanbin: why did you do everything I asked you to anyway? Chanwoo: because if i didnt, you’d kick my ass

- v tall, stop growing

- good at chinese

- sometimes i feel like he doesn’t know he’s famous 

- looks lost 90% of the time 

- he’s cute but he’s a sassy brat so watch out

end