#hes sitting there the whole time like damn we do not have the butter to be hosting a wedding. i need to go edit a spreadsheet

[weirwoodsugar]

(at a wedding) cool, cool, mazel tov, don't fuck it up. so do you wanna talk inventory?

(still at a wedding) btw if you run out of food the old people could kill themselves maybe. no i dont want to dance get real

[frankenstein-ate-my-left-shoe]

hey so i finally wrote more witch au!

enjoy, friends!! though it's significantly shorter than the first part

pairing: steddie | word count: 2,004 | rated: T

Mama thinks that Steve’s had a love spell on him this whole time.

“Since when?” He’d asked.

“I don’t know, my dear, maybe since before you were even born.”

“What?! How?! I thought you said there was no such thing as love spells!” He knows that’s not true.

“There are none that are worth the pain.” she repeats, trying to placate him.

“Yeah, well.” Steve huffs, dropping his hands to his hips and heaving a sigh.

“But there are some that are rumored to be true love spells, soulmate spells.” She continues on when she sees the look on his face. “Rumored, Steven, only ever rumors.”

“Okay, so what do the rumors have to say about them?”

“Every spell like that I’ve ever heard of of this nature is specific to each caster.”

“So I’ve had this spell on me for possibly my whole life, and there’s no way to know anything about it or about the caster.”

“...I’m sorry, honey.”

“Maybe there are clues in the words you have.” Robin cuts in, reaching for the notepad and sliding it in front of her.

Steve huffs, “I need to know the whole thing; there’s definitely words missing.”

“Should you eat more bread?” Robin asks, already sliding the previously abandoned plate of bread towards him.

“You shouldn’t overwhelm yourself.” Mama says, pushing the plate back. “We don’t know if there’s a trigger to the spell, or if you and the caster’s paths will just cross one day, maybe they don’t even know they cast it.”

Steve blinks at her. “So I have a true love and they might not even want me?”

“No!” Robin belts out immediately.

“No, of course not,” Mama says, continuing on. “The one known thing about any spell like this is that they only work on those who are receptive to it.”

“So some weirdo can’t put you under their spell?”

“Yes, exactly Robin; Steve, whatever this is, whoever this was, they love you with all that they are. And you them.”

“I don’t even know who it is! How can I?”

Mama doesn’t have an answer besides saying “Your soul must know them already.”; Their conversation was over soon after that.

Steve spends the next couple days silent and brooding. He can’t stop thinking about how he’s what, marked to love someone he doesn’t even know? How’s that fair?

It could be any random person on the street that thought he was hot, some weird old guy or a lovesick middle schooler..He only just turned 25 the day before the bread incident, but he’s saddled with this huge unknown that isn’t going to get better any time soon?

Okay, apparently not just some weirdo according to Mama, but still. Un-fucking fair all the same.

He’s also pissed that he can’t give anyone all the baked goods he’s made within that time. Each and every one of them ending up with a sour aftertaste. 

“Damn witch bullshit…” he grumbles to himself, only half serious, as he scrapes another batch of sour sugar cookies into the trash.

He’s salty, okay? Pun intended. If he hadn’t ever learned the truth about the powers over food his grandmother (and now him too, apparently) has, he could’ve just excused the batch after batch being off on bad butter, or old flour.. Something other than his mood being what’s ruining his cookies.

That’s what he’d done every other time something he’s made tasted off, now he knows it was him the whole time.

Mama comes in then, he doesn’t have to look up to know the look she’s giving him.

Steve leaves the bowl of leftover dough on the counter, mumbles out a “I gotta go.”, then tromps out the back door and into the woods behind his grandparents’ home. 

He supposes it’s good that they live just outside the city, really, having the trees to escape under like this has helped him before, and he’s hoping will help him now.

Meandering through the underbrush, he strolls along until he reaches the small clearing he’d claimed for himself when he was what, 8? 9? Doesn’t matter. It’s his spot to get away from anything he needs to.

He sits down against the big oak at the edge of the clearing and tips his head back toward the sun filtering down on him through a gap in the canopy above him. He breathes in the fresh air, focuses on the warmth hitting his face, and just exists there for a while, slipping in and out of a soft snooze.

Suddenly, he’s shocked out of his dozing by the sound of twigs snapping underfoot.

If it were coming from behind him, he’d expect it’d be Robin coming to find him here, but it’s not. It’s coming from ahead of him across the clearing.

Steve stands and presses back into the trunk of the tree, wondering if there’s bears in these woods when a person stumbles through the tree line.

The man is thin, about Steve’s age if he were to guess, and covered in dirt, his light wash overalls and his boots are caked in it. His hair is long, pulled half-back away from his face and full of bracken from the forest.

He also seems to be in a daze, staring with dark eyes at Steve with an unfathomable expression. 

It shifts soon after, though, warming into a watery smile. “I’ve come home to you.” he says, clear as day, then collapses onto the grass.

“Oh, shit!” Steve rushes forward, kneeling down beside the man and quickly checking him over for injuries. 

Steve presses his fingers to the man's pulse confirm it's still there (it is) and there don’t seem to be any bruises or breaks in his limbs, so he goes to his head, feeling quickly under the tangles in his hair for any blood, any knots.

Nothing. There’s nothing apparently outwardly wrong with him.

“Hey, hey, wake up! You gotta stay with me, man.” he says, shaking him lightly. 

The other man’s head lolls to the side and his eyes open a crack, his lips quirking up into a smile. “M’love…”

“What is your name?” Steve insists in a slow, clear voice.

Instead of answering, the man raises his hand slowly to cup Steve’s cheek. “...v’wait’d so long..” he slurs, then goes limp again, his hand dropping to his chest.

“Oh no you don’t,” Steve gets his feet under him and gathers the man up into his arms in a bridal carry. His steps falter when he feels how light the man is in his arms, how much more thin he is than how he’d looked.

Steve adjusts his hold on him, making sure not to let his head hang backward over his forearm, and rushes back toward the house.

“Mama!” he shouts as soon as he clears the treeline into the yard.

She’s at the back sliding door as soon as he is. “Steve, honey, what—”

He pushes past her, hurrying to the spare room on the first floor with her on his heels. “I found him wandering the woods, I couldn’t just–I don’t know what’s wrong with him, Mama.”

She gestures him forward to the bed, “Put him there, on top the covers,”

He does, setting him down as if he’s made of glass.

As soon as the man is out of his arms, Mama takes his place. “Nothing seems broken, but he’s so light, he needs food, he needs water, should I call 911? I don’t even know his na—” he rambles on, not even realizing he’d started to pace until his grandma stops him in his tracks.

“Steve, listen to me.” she says, pulling at his wrists gently, removing his hands from his hair. “He will be fine. Now, go get a bowl of warm water and a washcloth and come straight back here.”

He nods dazedly, stumbling backward out the doorway and spinning to the kitchen.

Steve slides to a stop on the tile floor in front of the kitchen sink at the same time Robin gets home from her classes that day.

“I have a date!”

Wait, he needs the bowl first. He scrambles to the opposite counter for the large mixing bowl Mama uses for her damn bread and fishes it out with a clatter of everything that that had been in front of it on the shelf tumbling out to the floor.

“Steve?”

Should he put soap in it?

“Steve!”

No, Mama just said ‘warm water’, not ‘warm soapy water’. He nods to himself and turns on the tap, reaching under the sink next for a washcloth.

“Steven Otis Harrington.”

“Oh, hey Robin, you’re home.” The bowl’s almost full.

“Steve.” She spins him to face her, holding tightly to his shoulders.

He tries to twist back around futilely, “The bowl–”

“Steve. What. Is. Happening.”

He blinks at her a couple times. “Robin!” He pulls her to him in a tight hug. “Holy shit, you’re not gonna believe–”

“Steve, the bowl?”

“Shit,” It’s nearly full when he shuts off the tap, so he dumps a bit out and picks it up with both hands, “C’mon, he’s this way.”

“He? Who’s he?”

“Dunno, I found him in the woods.”

“Aw, Steve, you can’t just take in any ol’ stray dog you happen to find out in the wood—-” Robin cuts herself off as they get to the bedroom door. “Ohhkay…so..not a dog.”

“He looks to be dehydrated, but I don’t think he has any injuries.” Mama says in lieu of a greeting when they return. Steve sits down on the opposite edge of the bed that she is, and carefully passes over the bowl of water without looking at her.

The stranger immediately takes in his attention. His soft features, dark brows…Steve starts to pull the bits of brush out of the man’s hair, untangling twigs, leaves, and he can already see one of those pesky prickle things twisted into the hair next to his ear.

Mama sets the bowl on the sidetable, and gets to work immediately, wiping the dirt and grime from the man’s face and arms. “Robin dear, can you grab one of those sports drinks Pa loves so much outta the fridge? And a bottle of water.”

“Of course!” she says, darting back into the kitchen.

“We’ll need to get some food in him too,”

“We should make him scones.” Steve states apropos of nothing. “With chocolate chunks.”

“Maybe after he’s a bit better, sweetie.” Mama scoffs, wringing out the washcloth. “He needs healthy fats first, butter, oatmeal, avocado, things like that.”

“I can do that!” Steve says, jumping up excitedly. His former task forgotten, he rushes out of the bedroom and to the kitchen, nearly bowling Robin over in the process.

He gets to work on simple eggs and toast for their houseguest, avoiding Mama’s lucky bread in favor of his own store-bought stuff for now, he can make him his own later. 

As he scrambles the eggs, he focuses everything in him on the stranger, on getting him better, making him healthy again. He’s not exactly quite sure how to do what Mama does, but the sour cookie dough says he’ll do it without thinking about it…kinda.

Whatever. 

All he knows is that he’s telling the fuck outta these eggs to make his love better. Make him whole again.. Make him—

Wait..

Did he just refer to the random man laid up in the other room as his love?

Is…

The fugue state he’d been in since first laying eyes on the man crackles away just long enough for him to think.

What did he say before he collapsed? "I've come home to you."?

That..sounds right....why is that so famili—

Steve's eyes leave the pan of eggs in front of him and snap immediately to the scrap of paper he'd scrambled for a few nights ago.

Is he…?

And of course, as if the words weren't already plastered permanently onto his grey matter, there they are, plain as day.

tagging those that were interested on the last part!!! @mugloversonly @kittydeadbones @maybequizas @queenie-ofthe-void @newtstabber @angeldreamsoffanfic @eyesofshinigami @sunflower-trashbaby @perseus-notjackson @kaspurrcat @quinns-shadowy-arts

also, idk if this counts for it, but one of february's songs for @steddiesongfics is work song! which is what this fic is based on! 😊😊

[haveihitanerve]

I had an idea the other day of Nightwing and Redhood getting de-aged to their Robin ages (so both robin)& Bruce taking them to the watchtower because he can't leave them at home lmao- not sure what you'd do with that idea but tis simply something I thought about

okay so because I absolutely adore this but also have someplace to be rn, its gonna be a timed write(ugh back to my english class days) and imma write this is eight minutes so no promises actually this might be really bad but here we go

Bruce didn't know exactly how it had happened. He had just... woken up. And boom there were two small, tiny little robins in his bed, curled against his side like back when they were younger. Dick's hair was silky soft as he ran his hand through it, and Jason was so small, his little head pressed against Bruce's chest. Then they woke up.

"Who is that." Dick's voice was flat. Hard. Bruce bit back a sigh. "Dickie, this is Jason. Your brother." "No he's not." Dick wasn't budging. Bruce fought his huff of annoyance. "Chum, you have to accept that he is your brother. I've already explained it to you. Try to be nice. Please?" Dick glowered at Jason, the other boy unaware as he munched his cereal on Bruce's other side, a book in his other hand.

Bruce smiled fondly and ran a hand through Jason's hair, pressing a kiss to his head. Jason smiled automatically at the gesture, though his eyes didn't leave the page. Bruce realized his mistake a second too late and quickly nudged the kitchen knives away before Dick could reach for them. He tugged his oldest son into his lap instead, despite the boys protests, and rained kisses onto him as an apology.

Dick was laughing by the time he finished, and even ate his breakfast quietly, sitting right next to Jason, and didn't try any physical violence. Bruce wasn't close to enough to hear if any emotional violence had been implemented though, having stood to clean the dishes. His phone vibrated, and he sighed as he spotted the call from Hal. League meeting. Right.

Bruce glanced at the two boys sitting at the table. Dick had stolen Jason's book and was in the process of pretending to pour orange juice over it, while Jason screamed, a butter knife in one hand. Yeah... he could not leave them home alone.

"Is that-?" "are those-?" The whispers started the second he breached the Watchtower, and the way they quickly silenced revealed that they had been happening the whole ride up the elevator. "Stay close to me boys." he murmured. Jason immediately latched to his leg, eyeing the heroes they passed warily. Dick, on the other hand, skipped ahead, until he realized that put him at a greater distance away from his dad than the "replacement" as he had called Jason. Then he did two flips and jumped onto Bruce's shoulders.

Bruce sighed. "Chum, play nice." Dick stuck his tongue out as Bruce settled into his chair, pulling Jason up to sit on his lap as Dick remained on his shoulders. The League blinked at him owlishly. Dick hissed. Jason smiled shyly. "They were hit with a de-aging spell." Bruce answered apologetically with a wince. "Sorry, I can't leave them home alone or one of them will kill the other."

Barry chuckled. "Yeah. Don't worry B, we get it. Red Hood is damn scary." "Poor Nightwing." Dinah murmured. Bruce snorted. "Oh, no no no. Night would be the one doing the murdering." He chuckled, pointing to the child sitting on his head. "Its little Hood I'm worried for."

[fryingpan1234567]

movies I think every demigod loves

Focusing on CHB for now but we’ll get to the Romans eventually

These nerds all know the whole entire soundtrack for every single one with the choreo and everything

Massive viewing parties in the winter in random cabins that definitely can’t hold everybody and the amphitheater in the summer with a projector

Hecate campers have enchanted a fuck ton of those old plastic popcorn containers with the same magic as the dishes in the pavilion— every kind of popcorn, the perfect amount of butter, kettle corn, for some reason a blue one that apparently tastes like cotton candy (or so Percy says; no one else has dared to try it)

Sharing endless amounts of blankets and pillows

Everyone usually passes out towards the end of the night, resulting in the hugest bed nest known to man full of shreepy demigods

Literally every streaming service ever plus premium Hephaestus channels

Anyways onto the movies

We’re starting with Mamma Mia

Because let’s be honest— a big pretty Greek island with a ton of hot people and fabulous music?? Yeah they’re into it

Who doesn’t love Abba?

That fun little “WEEE’RE SOPHIE ALI LISA WE’RE THE GREATEST BESTEST MATES, I’M TALL— I’M TOUGH— I’M TINY— AND WE’RE GONNA ROCK THIS PLACE!!” is such a vibe

Everyone gets into groups of three just to sing it with each other, including

Percy as Tall, Annabeth as Tough, and Grover as Tiny

Jason as Tall, Piper as Tough, and Leo as Tiny

Connor and Will even convinced Nico to be the Tiny to their Tough and Tall once

Anyways everybody screaming the lyrics and dancing around, swinging each other in chaotic circles until they collapse laughing

By FAR the loudest they ever get is Dancing Queen— Chiron says it’s something to rival their battle cry and Dionysus pretends to be annoyed by it, but he’s always caught humming it to himself the next morning

”Well what do you suggest we do with three men?” “Well now that takes me back.” WHEN I TELL YOU EVERYBODY SCREAMS

Couples singing Honey Honey and Lay All Your Love On Me suuuper dramatically at each other

They’ve turned it into a challenge: how long can you two go, mercilessly flirting and teasing, before either of you break and end up making out? (The answer is not very long)

Splitting into two groups (mainly girls v boys but really it doesn’t matter) to scream Voulez-Vous at each other

It’s a competition

After the end of the movie, everyone goes and jumps into the lake in their clothes— this massive, shouting, laughing mass of magical teenagers booking it across camp just to go flying off the docks into the water

Moving on to another movie

You c a n n o t tell me they wouldn’t love Disney’s Hercules

I mean they hate it, obviously, but like. A Disney movie about them. What!!

Especially the littles

The littles looove this fucking movie you don’t even understand

They sit eagerly waiting to see the garbage caricatures of their parents onscreen, collapsing on each other in giggles when they do

The older kids still get a kick out of it, but Connor sulks in Malcolm’s lap anytime his dad is on, hiding his face in his chest and refusing to look

(“Mal, he looks so dumb.”

”Sweetheart—“

”SO STUPID.”

”You’re so dramatic—“

”LOOK AT HIM.”)

They make Chiron sing One Last Hope every damn time

Funny thing is, the projector they have now is not the first one. There was one before, which mysteriously went up in purple flames the first time Mr. D watched with them… coincidentally at the exact moment Disney Dionysus popped up on screen in all his drunken fuscia glory

Poor Nico di Angelo wants to say no to watching it every time, but his favorite of Will’s little siblings, Lilac, begs him to because it’s her favorite Disney movie

So there he is next to Will, Lilac watching eagerly from his lap, Nico bonking his head on Will’s shoulder every time the TERRIBLE interpretation of his dad is on

Will laughs at him

Nico pouts and says he’s mean and threatens to shadow travel Lilac to the nearest candy store and get her whatever she wants just to hand her back to him for the night with a raging sugar rush

When the 7 dress up as the Avengers for Halloween one year, it’s added to the rotation.

Percy was Black Widow

Leo was Spider-Man

Jason was Captain America

Piper was Iron Man

Annabeth was Thor

Hazel was Black Panther

Frank was the Hulk

Nobody was prepared for the level of hotness that they brought to the table, but the Marvel fanatics were definitely prepared to start watching the movies

Eventually it devolves into a big war over who the best character is

The smash or pass is getting out of hand guys

lmk if you think of any more I’d love to write them

[thesupreme316]

Hey hun! I was wondering if you wrote for Takeshita? If you do can I have him and a gender neutral reader baking cinnamon rolls together?

Cinnabon Love (Konosuke Takeshita x GN!Reader):

Summary: You and Takeshita bake cinnamon rolls together.

Word Count: 931

Supreme Speaks: hey yall, thanks to anon for requesting this (sorry for taking so long). also thanks for being patient. it was my first time writing for him but I hope I did him justice. please remember that you are loved and appreciated.

Warnings: I AM TALKING ABOUT PRE DON CALLIS (EW) TAKESHITA CUZ MY LIL CINNAMON ROLL BOI WAS PURE AND DELIGHTFUL

Taglist: @wwenhlimagines @hooks-martin @sheinthatfandom @cassie0sstuff @triscillal

We all know that Takeshita loves Cinnabon

Like you were even doubting that he loves you because of how much he talks about it/eats it

I mean did he have a relationship confirmation on Twitter with the company

You: So is this our relationship? Or am I the third-wheeler?

Takeshita: You are the third wheeler….don’t ever think otherwise

You never understood what was so special about them…especially when you could get a whole pack from Walmart at a cheaper price

He gave you major side-eyes when you said that

Sometimes he would be very heartbroken that he couldn’t get some either due to a time crunch or the state not having one

So when you told him that you could make some at home; he lit up like a Christmas tree

But he quickly went back to his pouting state as he said he was a horrible baker

To which all you said was that he just had to put the desert on the sheet and bake it

You took him to the store and he just stared at the different products Cinnabon had

Cinnamon rolls, cookies, cake, even breakfast sandwiches

But he ultimately decided to get cinnamon rolls and cookies after a rough day (of Don Callis trying to corrupt his sweet mind)

You brought the bags in as Takeshita raced to the kitchen, slamming the chilled dough on the counter. Quickly, you put the groceries up while Takeshita was scrambling for bowls. Once he found said bowl and slammed the cabinet door shut, he slumped his shoulders, pausing all actions. You looked over at him confused, questioning why he suddenly lost energy.

“Takeshita, honey, what’s wrong?” You asked

He looked over at you with puppy dog eyes, “I don’t know what to put in the bowl. Even if I did, I can’t bake.” If this man was a dog, you would have sworn you saw his tail stop wagging. You giggled a little bit.

“Honey, we don’t have to mix anything. Cinnabon has their rolls ready to bake.” You said as you wrapped your arms around his tall (beautiful, structured, golden, toned-) body. He smiled as he put an arm over your back, reciprocating the embrace. But you couldn’t help to notice that his hand twitched when it made contact with your back, it only does that when a certain thing happens. You sighed as you proceeded to ask, “Takeshita, did you slam your finger in the cabinet?” He nodded slowly against the top of your head. “Do you want ice?”

A moment of silence went by, and as soon as you were gonna repeat yourself, Takeshita spoke up in a very sheepish and quiet tone, “Yes, please.”

After getting him the ice, you instructed him to sit down as you popped open the cylinder of cinnamon roll dough. His eyes lit up as he saw the raw dough rise ever so slightly. With his other hand, he started to place the rolls in the buttered pan. You soon had to take over as he nearly ate a raw roll and almost dropped the pan.

You slid the full pan into the hot oven, damn near burning your eyebrows off. As you closed the oven door, music started to play in the background. You turned around to Takeshita doing a little dance, making you laugh. You joined in and started dating as time went on. As the rolls were baking, Takeshita played some of his favorite songs and reminisced about the trips you two would take to different bakeries (each time having a different lead-up).

As the last minutes approached, Takeshita just sat in front of the oven, waiting for it to ding. When it did, you nearly ate the floor trying to make sure he didn’t open it immediately and take out the scorching pan.

“Why are you getting in the way of my love?” He pouted. You rolled your eyes as he basically disregarded you.

“They need to cool down first and then you can touch them…you overgrown toddler.” You said smacking his noninjured hand away.

As soon as the rolls came out of the oven, Takeshita started to ice them (you didn’t even know when he heated the icing). You stayed back and just watched as joy overtook his face. You loved seeing him so happy, especially after a long week of traveling and wrestling. You knew he needed this; a very cheap and content version of therapy.

You watched him plate a single cinnamon roll, grab a fork, and dig into it. Biting into it, a smile took over Takeshita’s face (and yours as well). “How does it taste?” You asked leaning your head on your hand.

“It tastes even better cause we made it together.” He said with a massive grin on his face. Your heart fluttered at the statement. You reached over the counter, aiming to pick up a roll. But your chance was quickly stopped as Takeshita’s hand lightly hit yours with the icing spoon. You dropped your jaw in disbelief as he didn’t allow you to get a treat. “No, you can eat one of your disgusting Walmart rolls.” He said with a mocking voice. Your face scrunched up before he gave you a small corner of his on a napkin.

The nerve of this man….but you still loved him regardless.

[colt4219]

Part 2 of The KidNapping Feeder!

So as I was getting funnel fed after getting my chastikey off, and now getting anal fucked for the first time ever, it really feels like I'm right where I belong... As my feeder was plunging into me and getting sweet creamy thick cummy weight gain shake poured down my throat as such velocity I was starting to get sick but I couldnt throw up, everytime something came up it got pushed down right back into my stomach and filling me more and more, I didn't want to bother my feeder saying I need this off of me. So I waited for a few minutes and as my belly felt like it was distended, my feeder tells me you're ballooning up fatty. Then I started squirming but him telling me he's not finished yet, it's a real turn on... So between him telling me that, fucking me, and getting filled past the brim. All that combined made me cum like a madman! I was cumming piss and cum all over my belly, titties and face everywhere... It was so powerful of a shot my feeder aimed it at my face, and I got cum in my eyes... My feeder was so proud of me he turned off the machine and went to bed...

I can't believe he left me all alone, I'm a cuddler after I have sex in general so him denying me was hurtful, but also hot like I need to do better in gaining weight. So that's what I did, over the next 3 months I would gain weight by drinking ice cream cake shakes, getting fucked everyday to lower my testosterone count drastically, smoking a fuckton of weed to make me dumber and more foggy minded and especially much much hungrier gut and smoking nicotine, gaining weight and wearing tight underwear to shrink my dick. He certainly took a notice as I gained another 250 pounds for him, he started up a Livestream of my fattening journey. He said you're too fat for people to notice you're actually a missing person, they'd just be so focused on your fat body and not care if you're actually kidnapped or not... Hearing that made my heart throb with joy and now after almost 2/3 into the year I finally get to play my videogames again. But who cares anymore my fingers are too fat to play videogames or even touch a button cause I mess things up. So I let my man do everything for me now... Im now over 675 pounds, I outgrew the sex swing and now I'm on a mattress on the floor, now I'm totally helpless on touching or frolicking myself, I have to use a vibrator wand to reach or have my feeder stroke my dick and now it's harder for me cum like I have nothing left in the tank. My dick doesn't get hard anymore or long enough anymore damn if fiance could see me now knowing she wouldn't get any dick anymore after willingly giving myself up to a kidnapper not knowing what he was going to do to me, she'd be so disgusted 😭🤤🤣 but that's also hot 🥵... As I'm sitting on the floor with a twitch Livestream going, my feeder brings in a shake filled with Whey, whole milk, ice cream cake, peanut butter, and heavy cream 🍦 as I'm guzzling down my shake, my feeders reading off some chats saying, "omg what a fat cow!?!" "What a loser, you can't even see his dick!" And my favorite one of all, "omg you're such a dumb fat faggot!!!" As I heard him say these things I'm cumming and shooting out a load while laying on my back and it's just oozing out of my dick cause I have no strength to push it out, my feeder wiping up my cum with his hand and puts his hand in front of my face and I lick all of it off his hand, licked my lips and kept drinking the shake and when I finished my shake... He asked "can you cum again?" I replied "maybe, but you have to help me." He said "no problem my fat piggy." So we had sex for another hour and he cummed at least 3-4 times in my asshole and I still haven't cummed and my dick is still limp and small, I barely push anything out, when he saw that white Alfredo sauce on the tip of my dick he started sucking so hard and it made me quiver and my jiggly body started shaking cause of the amazing feeling after cumming and still get my dicked sucked... I felt like a fat prince after a holiday 🥰...

As I was getting too fat to move my feeder installed a thrusting dildo underneath my bed and put it directly in my ass cause I'm never getting up after 675 pounds lmao who am I kidding 😂 I can't get up!!! I'm stuck so might as well put something underneath me to keep myself company...

1 week later

My feeder is heading to work rn and I'm weighing at 686 pounds rn and my feeder hired a nanny to take care of me when he leaves, but the nanny he got me wasn't the kind of nanny you were thinking of... She was a feeder?!?! My feeder introduced me to her and she said her name Carrie... So as soon as he left, Carrie dropped her clothes and put on a strap on dildo, she said to me "bend over fatty!" I replied "I'm too big to move..." She said "fuck it let me move you!" So she lifted up my fat tree trunks for legs and spread my legs and asscheeks apart, she started to plunge into me, while feeding me in n out burgers, I love in n out burgers how'd she know?!? I just kept eating till I ate 7 burgers, 2 animal fries and 2 chocolate shakes it was so fattening, but so fulfilling! It wasn't until after I was full that I could actually cum and feel good about it. My feeder programmed me to only cum when Im full, no other exceptions... As I cummed all over my fat body once again... The feeder aimed my dick at my face and titties, as If I'm a girl 😭... But after a full day of feeding my feeder comes home and he says "let's get you on that scale and see how much you weigh?" I waddled my way on top of the scale and it said exactly 700.6 pounds he said all excitedly "my fat ass cow did it, you did it fatty!!!" I'm all happy as I can be cause now I'm closer to death and the only way I wanna go out, being smothered by my fat body!

If you guys enjoyed it lmk for Part 3?

Remember if anyone wants to take me in as a House Fuck toy 🧸 here's my addy 5221 W. Sunland Ave. Laveen Az 85339

[sheabuttahwrites]

in the Morning

story masterlist Shea Buttah Bakery Masterlist

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sounds// Peabo Bryson - Feel The Fire, Isley Brothers - Spend the Night (Ce Soir), The O'Jays - Forever Mine

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IV.

“Oh, shit. What’s up?” He smiled back and it was even more killer in person. Especially with the surprise of gleaming gold fangs and the matching slugs I could see peeking from behind his bottom lip. I had to remind myself to breathe. “You came.”

“I told you I was on the way.”

“Nah, I thought you was fucking with me.” Laughter took over the conversation as he opened the door a bit wider, stepping aside. “Come on in.”

Hell, I could barely believe I’d shown up myself. I had never really been shy, but he’d brought a boldness out of me that even I hadn’t seen.

When I passed him, I noticed that he was still significantly taller than me in four inch heels. Damn. Not like I wasn't overdue for a climbing lesson anyway. The scent of his cologne was also quite alluring. The woody, smoky fragrance pervaded my senses, warming all the spots that shot had missed. Of course he would smell just as good as he looked. He may not have believed I would be there tonight, but he had damn sure been prepared. 

“I can take your jacket.” 

“Oh, sure.” I went to slip it from my shoulders, but he circled behind me and took the collar into his hands. 

“Here, I got you.” 

Taken aback by his unexpected chivalry, I was stuck watching him walk back to the closet to carefully put it away. 

“This is dope. The gold on here go crazy.”

“Right? I thought the same thing. Had to have it.”

“Good choice.” He grinned as he strolled back over to me. “I like your whole get-up, though. You look good, girl.” The intensity he radiated in person was unreal. His blinding smile. Those piercing brown eyes. The once-over he gave me felt like he was sexing me up already. 

Of course, I was a flustered mess. “Thank you.”

“What’s in the bag?”

I held up my bottle for him to see. “Wine. Actually, could I put it in your fridge?”

“Yeah.” He reached for it, so I gave it to him. Then he nodded to the left. “This way.” 

We left the foyer and I followed him past a gorgeous living area, subtly admiring my surroundings. The height of the ceilings had caught my attention right away. All of it was stunning. Far from the bare walls, futon, and flat screens I had half expected. Off white walls and dark wood floors made up the most of it, but the decor was so sophisticated and refined. I’d already clocked a painting and coffee table that I wanted for myself. I could tell it had been carefully curated. I should've known he would give nothing less. We walked through an arched doorway into a kitchen that made me feel like cooking for some strange reason. Just like everything else I’d seen, it looked like something from a magazine. Shades of gray, black, white and green complemented each other well among all the satiny stainless steel. There were even fresh tulips sitting in the middle of the island. I was giving one of them a smell when he came over, leaning up against the marble counter with me. 

“I put it in the freezer for you.”

“Thank you.”

“No problem.” Having to look up was already doing something different for me, but the way he was smiling down at me made it so much worse. Prolonged eye contact was his thing, I’d already gathered. It felt like he was staring into my soul. Whew! “I’m glad you came.”

“Yeah?”

“Mhm. Not every day something this fine just lands on your doorstep.”

My head dropped into a faint laugh. “Baby, you ain't gotta butter me up. I’m already here.”

“I ain't tryna do nothing of the sort. I meant what I said.”

“Ok. So, you just be up in here by yourself?”

“Most of the time, yeah.”

I smacked my lips, less than convinced. “Yeah, aight.”

“You a trip,” he chuckled.

“Nah, you the one.”

“How?”

“Nothing. Don’t worry ‘bout it,” I said, grinning as I waved him off. 

“I got no reason to lie, mama. Like you said, you already here.” He wet his bottom lip before moving his eyes down my body once more. I shuddered. “I really don’t be having company like that, though. I know it might not seem like it, but I’m usually a pretty private person. I don’t like too many people in my business.”

“So, why you breaking all your rules for me then?”

“I don’t know…” He leaned a little closer. “Just something about you.” 

I rolled my eyes through the inevitable smile that followed his and that sly admission. “You know what, I know I just gave it to you to put away, but could I pour myself a glass?”

“Oh, yeah. Fasho.” He walked back over to the freezer and pulled out my bottle. Then he went to a cabinet for a wine glass before taking an electric corkscrew from a drawer. Once the bottle was open, he stepped back, presenting it all to me with an outstretched hand. 

“Thank you.”

“No problem.”

I poured myself a big glass, just low enough to prevent any spills while I walked.

“You only brought one glass. You don't want any?” 

“Nah. I’m more of a Hennessy man, myself.”

“Aah, ok.”

“I can put it back for you, though.”

“I think I’ma just keep it.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, this is good enough.”

“Aight.” He reclaimed his position at the island. “So, um, I feel like you breaking some of your rules for me, too.” 

“…Maybe,” I said, after finishing a big sip. 

“How you get so brave?”

I frowned. “Why you saying that like you about to chop me up and plaster me into your walls?”

“Damn, girl.” I cracked at the sudden shock that appeared on his face and we laughed so hard. “I’m just saying. You know women ain’t safe out here. Especially Black women.”

“Yeah, my girl wanted me to stay home real bad. But I don't know. Sometimes you just gotta take a chance. Plus, you didn't give me serial killer vibes. Didn’t see a windowless van on the premises either, sooo…”

His smile was beaming as we shared another laugh. “You funny.”

I shrugged a shoulder, preparing for my next sip. “So I’ve been told.”

He waited for me to finish before he motioned his head toward where we had just come from. “Come on.” Then he turned to walk off, and, once again, I followed. 

“And, anyway, for all you know, I could be crazy.”

Without hesitation, he replied, “Oh, I can take you.”

I gasped in false disbelief. “Excuse you. I could have weapons of mass destruction.”

“What? Like a chainsaw?” 

He glanced back at me as we neared the stairs and I busted out laughing. “Now that wasn't even me. My girl put that one in my head.”

“What she think, I’m Leatherface?”

“Shit, you never know nowadays.”

“You ‘bout right. But you can let her know you in good hands.”

“I figured as much.”

He smiled, stopping at the stairs. “After you,” he said, holding his arm out for me to step ahead of him.  

After giving him my bottle, I grabbed the glass railing with my freed hand. I made my way up the curved staircase, swaying my little bit of booty in case he was watching, and losing count of how many steps I was taking. 

“You better catch me if I fall.”

“I got you.” I laughed to myself as we finally reached the top. I waited for him to take the lead again and he came around me, settling his hand on my waist. “This way, mama.”

A floral, citrusy scent met me as soon as I stepped into his bedroom. Probably from the candles lit in various spots all around it. They also provided the light, along with two lamps on the wall framing the head of his bed. “It smells so good in here.”

“I tried to hook it up for you a lil bit.”

“I like it.” The click of my heels on his gray hardwood floors was briefly muted as I strutted onto an oversized circular rug en route to his bed. The couch was nice and spacious, but the bed was much more inviting. The comforter looked cloudlike and the corner of the sheet that was exposed looked fresh. It was huge, too. Likely out of necessity. I sat on the edge and stared over at the window wall across from me as I took a feel. It was just as comfortable as I’d presumed, maybe even more. “Why you way over there? You got—what you called me?—‘something this fine’ all in your bed, and you just gon’ stand there?”

He smiled. “Yeah. That’s what I said.”

“Come here then.”

“You on my side, though,” he teased, swaggering toward me in his crisp white tee and gray joggers.

I kicked my shoes off before sliding myself to the opposite side. “Better?”

“Much.” He came over and sat against the fluted headboard as I sat just a couple feet away from him. At that point, I took my phone from my purse and killed the power. I was not about to let anybody spoil my night. “What kind of music you like?”

“I’m an R&B junkie.”

“Ok.” He picked up his phone, plugged up on the table beside him. “Let me guess. 90’s and early 2000’s, right?”

“Duh! I love my oldies, too, though.”

“Word?”

“Yes. I spent the first fourteen years of my life almost exclusively with my grandparents. They blessed me.”

“Ok. What you know about this then?” After a couple taps, ‘Spend The Night’ by The Isley Brothers began to play. 

“Boy, what? This my shit.” 

“…You grooving your ass off, this really your shit.”

I howled, because I hadn’t even realized. Maybe it was the near-emptiness of my glass that had my shoulders and waist moving without my knowledge. 

“Anyway. So, what’s your favorite genre?”

“My music taste kinda eclectic. I like a lil bit of everything.”

“Like what?”

“Funk. Bounce. Jazz.”

“Okayyy.”

“R&B,” he continued, making sure to look me in the eye for that one. “House.”

“Ooh, I love House.”

“Yeah. But that’s just a few.”

I nodded. “Ok, next question.”

“What’s up?”

“Why you sit my bottle so far awaaaay?” I whined, staring longingly toward his dresser as I went to leave the bed. He laughed. 

“My bad. I’ll get it for you.”

“I’m just messing with you. I got it.” I walked over to fill my glass again, bobbing my head to my jam. 

“You mind if I smoke?”

“This your place, baby. You can do whatever you want.”

“Yeah, but you my guest. And, if I’m a bad host, you might not wanna come back.”

I squinted up at him, twisting my lips to try and hide my smile, but it didn't work. The charm was just too potent. “It’s cool. Spark up.”

“Aight.” 

He leaned over and reached into his top drawer for this little box. I couldn't see inside it, but he pulled out a pre-rolled joint and I just assumed that there were more. This nigga was a stoner in the truest sense. 

The level of my glass was starting to fall again and the wine had to be going straight to my feet. Instead of returning to my seat, I opted for a cute little two-step and a couple of slow spins, quietly singing along with Mr. Biggs and Angela Winbush between sips. The song sounded better than it ever had. 

“I’m glad I chose this cut.” 

I opened my eyes to see that Yahya had changed his position, lying back on his elbows at the edge of the bed and facing me. It took all I had to keep it together. My face was on fire. “Why?”

He smacked his lips at me and took a long drag from the J. I giggled as he aimed his face toward the ceiling to release the smoke, promptly sucking it back into his mouth before it could get away. “I think you know why.” He brought his eyes back down to mine, smiling while smoke rolled from his lips and nose. 

I returned his smile. Of course I knew. “What that shit taste like?”

“You never smoked before?” he asked with a wrinkled brow.

“Nope. I told you I didn't smoke, remember?”

“Yeah, I know. But you never?”

I shook my head. “Not even once.”

“You wanna try it?”

I bit the inside of my lip, not really sure if I should. The scent of weed was something I usually just tolerated, but this didn’t smell too bad. Either that or my fascination with this man had me highly delusional. Probably. “Mmmm…” Fuck it. Might as well since I was taking a walk on the wild side for the night. Plus, I’d always wanted to try it at least once. Just to see what all the fuss was about. “Yeah.” I shrugged it off and left my glass on a nearby table, but then it hit me that I had been drinking. “Wait. Should I be doing this with alcohol?”

“It ain’t gon’ do nothing to you.”

“But am I really supposed to mix the two?”

He just sat up and reached for me, signaling me over with his fingers. “C’mere.”

I sighed, quelling most of my concerns and taking his hand. He didn’t let me make a single step, pulling me right into his hard chest. He hurried his arm around my waist as my screaming morphed into shared laughs. “Oh my god, don’t do that!” I looked down into his eyes, resting my arms on his shoulders to help get my bearings. The laughter soon faded. Smiles went next. 

“Mmmm,” he groaned, biting his lip with those gold fangs on full display. 

That same breathless feeling that had hit me at my computer, smacked the shit out of me again. Just a hundred times stronger. Seeing his brand of fine this close up was devastating. Everything that looked so damn good from afar held all of its integrity and then some. The beard, the lips, the skin, the teeth. Truly immaculate.

“Youuu… are dangerous.” I capped the sentiment with a giggle, but I was not joking. 

He frowned with a telling grin in the forefront. “What? I’m harmless.” The elevation in his tone further confirmed the lies.

I pushed myself back up to my feet, flustered as fuck and almost hating how he could make me this way so effortlessly. I really had no idea I was so foldable and, though the circumstances were lovely, I didn’t know how to feel about it.

“Fuck that.” 

He laughed and held the joint up to my lips. “Go slow.”

I looked at it and then back to him, still slightly unsure, but I went ahead. The regret was instant. I choked, coughing up what little smoke I had brought in. And, to make matters worse, he had the nerve to be laughing while I was fighting for my life. 

“Naaah, not like that.”

I shook my hanging head. “That’s ok. I don't want to anymore,” I said, fanning myself and trying to catch my breath.

“Come on. I got you.”

I smacked my lips, looking into his half-lidded eyes with my own, and caved without an ounce of pause. Shameful. “...Ok. But, if I don't get it this time, I’m done. And don't laugh.”

“Aight, aight. I won’t laugh.”

“You better not,” I teased, rolling my eyes. 

He brought that shit up to my lips again, but, this time, he rested his free hand on my hip. I didn't pay it much mind. I was more focused on preparing myself for this second pull that was probably about to kill me.

“Go slow.”

I followed his instructions and took a relaxed drag. But I forgot to stop, and this nigga just let me keep going. My eyes popped when I realized what I had done. I stood there, cheeks puffed to the brim, not knowing what the hell to do. Again, Yahya was cracking up. I, on the other hand, started to freak out, groaning frantically and tapping at his arm.

“Just open your mouth, girl.” 

I opened up and the smoke billowed out and began to float away. 

“Now catch it. Inhale.” 

I did what I was told once again and watched as some of it disappeared back into my mouth.

“Ok, hold it… now breathe.”

I let go and, surprisingly, all of it came out without me bringing a lung up with it. “I did it!” I beamed, celebrating my first successful puff of Mary.

“Started off a lil rocky, but you finished strong.” I laughed with him, feeling too triumphant to check him for rejoicing in my struggles. “You wanna hit it again?” he asked, after taking another puff. 

I nodded. I felt like I had it down, but I just wanted to make sure it wasn’t a fluke. If I could do it two times in a row, that meant I could really do it. Feeling myself, I even took it from his hand when he brought it over to me. 

“Oh, shit. Ok. You a pro now, huh?”

I was too tickled, but in the merriment I still noticed that he had led his newly unoccupied hand down to my other hip. He kneaded his fingers into me, getting a nice, thorough feel. Naturally, my mind began to wander, imagining all the filthy, disgusting things he could do to me with those huge hands. I looked down at him and he was already staring back. His face was the most relaxed it had been all night. He took his gaze down to where my thighs met and I would swear I heard my girl sigh. This man was so fucking sexy it was almost infuriating. I had to look away. I took another successful pull, reveling in all of this delectable sin, and he carefully slid his hands around to my ass. The pungent smell of weed had possessed the air, the taste of the flower and a little wine were sweet on my tongue, and the sensual poetry of love songs gave us all the right directions. I couldn’t remember the last time I had been this bad. 

“How you feelin’?”

I opened my eyes, tilted my head and brought my hand up to mimic a chef’s kiss.

“See? Stick with me, I can show you some thangs.” I tucked what was left of the J between his lips and he hit it one last time before sitting it over in the ashtray. Then he pulled me closer. 

I smiled and bit my lip, gently placing my hands to his chest. When I started to back away, he smiled up at me and loosened his grip, but I could tell he didn't really want to let me go. 

“Where you goin’?”

I simply shook my head as I left his grasp. I just wanted to play around with him, make him chase me a little bit. The O’Jays were singing ‘Forever Mine’ and, somehow, I could feel it in my body. Whatever Yahya had for me, I was readyyy! I turned away and clutched the bottom of my shirt with both hands, pulling it up over my head and dropping it to the floor. Not a second later, I could see his reflection in the window standing from the bed. Off came his shirt in one swift motion as he walked, then I felt him slide up behind me. The chase was over. 

With his hands at my sides, I swayed to the hypnotizing melodies, savoring how good his bare skin felt next to mine. “I love this song.” I spoke quietly, fully entranced. My hands found their way to his, and the difference in size fucked me up even more. I was leading them around to where I needed them, when he latched onto the softness of my belly and started to move toward the window. I shuffled the short distance with him until I was standing directly in front of it. He eased his hold on me and grabbed my hand, placing it onto the glass a little above my head. I looked out over his backyard, wondering if any of his neighbors could see us. Part of me hoped someone could as he played around with the waist of my jeans, touching my skin in light whispers. He crept over to the button, undoing it, what felt to be, intentionally slow. My zipper came down at the same chilling pace. With parted lips, I looked toward his hand as I felt it slide into my pants. He started to rub my pussy over my panties and they soaked through on contact, trapping my next breath in my throat. 

“Say. How you like it, mama?” He easily caught the rhythm of my subtle grind. “You like slow and steady?” 

I scratched the glass with his hand still on top of mine, feeling his dick right against my ass. Flames flickered in the near-darkness, but, clearly, we were the hottest in the room. He moved my panties to the side and slipped through the flood until my clit was pounding into the tips of his fingers. A shy moan had barely made it past my lips when he sank them deep. I whimpered loudly, gripping his arm and bending my other hand into a fist, buckling under the pressure.

“Or you like that hood shit?” He brought his hand down from the window and fixed his arm across my chest, guiding me back into him while he clung to my breast. “Hm?”

I didn't answer. I wasn’t even breathing. Despite me being highly inebriated, my heart was about to beat out of my chest.

“Why you bein’ so quiet?” he finally asked, lips brushing sweetly against my ear. Then he laid a soft kiss just underneath it. “You said you came to fuck. Don’t get all shy on me now.” 

@19jammmy @twistedcharismaaa @lemmewritesomeish @thisiswhatshefelt @teheeboo @shanisims @honestpreference @iamfredtina @blackerthings @judymfmoody @lyrarodriguez @fendionmyfeet @fadingbelieverexpert @chaneajoyyy @astoldbychae @cecereads209 @90sisthenew80s @daddiespamm @lovethecheri @xo-goldengirl @miyuhpapayuh @buttrflybby @jiminie-08 @queengodiva619 -taglist-

[shhh-secret-time]

Ooooo if requests are open. Can I maybe get something for Butters! Some fluuuuuuff please! 💖🙏 thank yoooou I hope I'm not a bother! 😭

Of course you can lovely! It's never a bother!

Warning: Tooth-Rotting fluff, Strong Language

Pairing: Butters x Fem!Reader

"And would you believe it fellas, she said yes! Boy, I sure am excited this weekend is gonna be the best!" Butters couldn't contain the excitement in his voice, the little drawl in his accent slipping out more than usual.

"Yeah Butters, this is the third time you've told us. I think I can believe it." Stan responded with a sigh as he put down the lukewarm burger back down on his tray.

"Oh yeah...hehe!"

Butters giggled as he pushed his fingers together, his knuckles rubbing against each other. Maybe he was being a little annoying, but he couldn't help how excited he was, the giddy feeling was getting stronger with each passing hour. He just had to wait a few more hours and school was over, and more importantly it was Friday so that meant the weekend was already here!

Absent-mindedly he picked up one of the soggy fries off his plate and took a bite out of it, he was in such a good mood he didn't care how horrible it tasted. With his cheek tucked into his hand, he let his eyes wonder over towards where you were sitting. Watching you giggle at a joke Red was telling, nothing else seemed to matter around him but your smile.

The rest of the boys cast side glances at each other, it was Craig who finally broke the silence. "He's gone. We lost him to whatever spell she has over him."

"Come on guys, we should be at least happy for him. I mean look...", Kyle spoke in a whisper as if the blond wasn't sitting right beside him. Before he continued his point his hand came up to Butters cheek, pinching the skin lightly. His green gloves smooshed his cheek in between his fingers, and when Butters didn't react, he continued "Nothing, not a single reaction. It's like we're not here."

"What did he say they were doing anyway?" Craig asked, looking between Butters and Kyle.

"Apple picking." Cartman responded, the look on his face was filled with dread like the very thought of the whole ordeal was exhausting.

"I think it's sweet..."

"You fucking would. It's stupid! I doubt she even knows it's a date, and you know what I don't blame her! Who the fuck goes on a date and picks fucking apples!" As if the whole situation wasn't enough for Cartman, the minute Kyle tried to make light of the situation it set something off in him.

"Why do you care!? I swear to God Cartman do not ruin this with one of your stupid ideas!"

"Fuck you Kahl! You're such a fucking know it all! You just have to be right about every god damn thing, don't you?!"

"For the love of god..."

Stan pinched the bridge of his nose and Craig only went back to watching the two bicker and argue. Everything seemed to just seem to fall into place, a normal lunch on a very normal day. Butters couldn't care less what was going on or the fact that you and him were the topic of their conversation. His lovesick look was only broken when you finally looked towards the commotion, hearing Kyle and Cartman raise their voices at one another. When your eyes met with his he gave you a wide grin and a little wave, causing you to laugh and wave back at him. His heart nearly leapt out of his chest when he watched you stand up and whisper something to the girls.

Butters felt his heartbeat pick up with every step you took towards him, the tip of his ears turning red from it all. You closed the distance between the both of you, gliding across the lunchroom like some sort of angel.

"Hey Butters, are we still on for this weekend? What time did you want to meet up?" Your voice rang out past the screaming like chimes, it took Butters a second to register what you even asked.

"Uh, w-well I figured I'd pick ya up! I asked my dad if I could use the car and everything! W-we gotta be careful with it though! Dad said if we made a mess I'd get grounded again!" His mind was screaming at him as the words just kept pouring out of his mouth, but he couldn't stop babbling. Couldn't stop just spewing embarrassing shit about his fear of being grounded.

Expecting you to laugh at him or even call the whole thing off, he felt his heart soar when you smiled warmly at him. Was that a blush on your face too?! Were you just as nervous as he was? But any hope of being on the same level was shattered when you took his hand and gave it a little squeeze, and so was any attempt at keeping the red off his cheeks.

"That's very sweet of you! I'll be ready around four, is that okay? You still have my address, right?"

Sweet. You said he was sweet. You were looking at him like he was the only boy on the planet and calling him sweet. If he wasn't sitting, he was sure his knees would have buckled from that alone.

"Y-yeah! Yeah, I do! Four works swell." Swell. Fucking swell, that's all he could come up with was swell. His lips quivered at his own mind screaming at him, but you didn't seem to mind. You never did.

"Awesome. Thanks Butters, text me~" You cooed, finding the blond in front of you to be the most adorable thing. That was when you delivered the final blow, you did the thing that made Butters sure you were trying to kill him. You leaned down and kissed him on his head. Giving his hand one last squeeze, you let go and made your way back to the girls who were giggling and grabbing at your arm.

Silence fell over the table as the guys looked over at Butters with awe. Kyle's hand loosened off of Cartman's collar and Stan felt his arms slack no longer needing to hold the two back from each other.

"Let's fucking gooooo!" Kenny exclaimed, wrapping his arm around Butters unable to contain his own joy for his friend. Shaking the blond back and forth, his laugh being muffled by the black mask over his face.

[sugarfluffandallthatgoodstuff]

HMBAU Chapter 3: Uncharted Territory and New Friends?!

I had just kind of sat there dumbfounded

Because now there was an entire plate of assorted food on my plate 

Like holy shit this is a whole ass buffet

“Eat up so you have enough energy for the rest of the day!” Bokuto said kinda loudly and smiling 

I still sat there just shocked eyes wider than a tuba bell

“Alright Y/N-chan I guess we’re gonna do this the hard way” Oikawa said to me standing up from his place in the circle 

“I-what?!?!”

He didn’t say anything but he just walks over to me sits back down criss-cross and pulled me into his lap and wrapped his arms around me, his fingers settling on my waist and hips

“O-Oikawa what are you doing?!”

“Juuuust loosening you up a bit” He said with his chin on my shoulder

“Hey Oikawa, is this really a good idea?” Yaku pipes in

“It’ll be fine Yaku-chan~she’ll be fine”

With no warning as to what he could be talking about, I felt his hands move and he did the unthinkable

He started tickling me with no mercy

“Wahaiaiaiaiait nohhohohohohohoho”

“Oh yes~I’m sure you know what you need to do for me to stop~just tell me you’ll eat and follow through with that”

“Ohohohohohokahahahahay I wihihhhihhill juhuhst pleahehehehehese sthohohohp”

“Okay good!” he stopped when suddenly an apple slice with peanut butter on it appeared super close to my face

How on earth?!

And then I saw the person who was holding it was Osamu

Figures, only he would be able to accomplish perfect apple slices that fast

“Ah! I-I c-can e-eat myself b-but thank you”

“Ok” and he put it down on the plate

I knew he was good with food but holy shit the layout looked spectacular

Damn him for knowing me too well

I slowly started eating while the others started up a conversation

“Hey Bokuto, did you finally get a pedal note?”

“NO AND HOW DARE YOU BRING THAT UP”

I felt Oikawa laugh and pick me up off his lap and chime in with “Wait Bokuto-chan can’t pedal hahaha”

“HEY MAN LIKE YOU COULD HOLD A TUBA”

“Actually Bokuto he can. I know he seems weaker than a twig but his strength will surprise you” now that got me and I choked a bit

“IWA-CHAN DON’T SAY THOSE THINGS! YOU ALREADY KNOW I CAN WALK WITH THAT THING FOR A MILE ” only for Akaashi to finally notice choking and he alleviated it using the heimlich

“Are you ok?!”Akaashi said while also coaxing me to drink some water whilst the others continued to bicker in the background

“Y-yeah I’m ok but thank you”

He just smiled nodded and went back to where he had been sitting 

I just kind of sat there slowly eating everything and getting full like never before 

But I guess at some point I got lost just watching them because I got snapped out by Osamu

“Hey Y/N our break is over it’s time to go to the band room”

“Ah ok”

“Hey uh-Y/N?”

“Yeah?”

“Wanna walk there together especially since we keep our instruments near each other?”

“Uh-sure why not”

“Cool. So how come you pack such small lunches?”

“Oh well, I’m kind of a picky eater and I’m also watching what I eat so I can be healthier and raise my endurance on things. I also don’t think about it really”

“Ah”

“Is it just me or is everyone acting kinda strange today?”

“What do you mean?”

“Like I usually don’t talk to anyone and suddenly people are swarming me, especially the brass leaders! Has that been happening to you too?”

“Nah I think it’s just a you thing as far as getting lots of new attention.”

“But like why me?! I’m not interesting at all and coulda sworn no one around me really paid attention to my existence!”

“Probably because your talent piqued a lot of people’s interests, especially the leaders because they saw it, I know I was”

“But like Oikawa is acting the weirdest towards me, and none of the other flutes are! Am I a threat?!”

“No I wouldn’t say you are a threat, more like a successor”

“But i have no leadership skills! How would I be a good successor?”

“Your potential and that you aren’t Kageyama”

“But like who else has an eye on me?”

“The tubas”

[repentarium]

the truth is i've been dreaming of this tired tranquil place tag 5/?

ao3

The first meal Steve makes in their new apartment goes just fine - it's a veggie lasagna, it's cheesy and warm and makes the whole house smell nice, and Eddie eats until he feels sick, which is absolutely a win. 

The second meal Steve makes should go even smoother. It's just a very quick pasta in alfredo, he closed with Robin and Eddie is coming back late from some event at the record store so he needed to do something fast and easy. 

The problem is, the pasta has a few moving parts - the sauce in one pan first, the penne in another, and garlic bread in the oven. It's just the frozen kind, it takes nearly no thought. 

But he gets distracted. There's something wrong with the sauce, it's separated like a lava lamp, and while he's trying to fix that the pasta overcooks and boils over. He throws it into a colander (he hates cleaning a colander but he has to get it off the heat and he bets he can ask Eddie to clean up) and drains it, then goes back to the sauce. When that's finally looking okay again, if not as silky smooth as he'd like it, he goes to fetch the pasta and finds it all clumped together and gummy. He's standing staring at it, poking at it with a fork like it might be alive, when the smoke alarm goes off. 

The damned garlic bread, the easiest part. 

He throws the pasta into the cheese sauce, hoping somehow it'll work itself out, throws open the oven door and there's a huge whiff of smoke. Coughing, he throws the charred bread onto the stovetop, turns off the oven and opens the window. 

When Eddie comes in ('Honey, I'm home!' he's yelling before he's opened the door) he finds Steve standing precariously on one of the stools they'd commandeered from the streets of the good neighborhood on trash day, wobbling and waving a hand towel at the shrieking alarm. 

'Ahhh!' Steve yells. He's half-joking but also he's so glad Eddie got home before he could talk himself into a real panic attack about the whole thing. 'Everything is so fine.'

'Uh-*huh*...' Eddie has a finger in his ear and brushes close to Steve. He jumps up and smacks the alarm with his other hand, hitting some button than Steve would have seen if he'd calmly looked but the alarm had set his teeth on edge. 

They stand looking at each other for a full minute, smoke still fill the air around them, and Steve starts laughing hysterically, nearly falling off the stool. Eddie just puts a hand on his elbow to stabilize him, starts to laugh too when he realizes everything is okay. Steve's laugh may still have an edge of panic to it, but he and Eddie sit under the open window as the smoke filters out, and the fresh air helps. 

'We may just want to order takeout.' Steve says finally.

'I bet it's salvageable!'

Steve doesn't believe him, he didn't see the night of the living penne over there, but Eddie stands and helps him up with a hand, goes to the stove. He stirs the pasta up, breaks up the clumps, says 'anything covered in cheese is delicious, Steve.' He tries to scrape off the burnt parts of the garlic bread, but by the time he breaks through to the soft parts there's barely anything left. 

They eat their pasta with wonder bread, toasted and buttered, sitting at the bar on their thefted stools, and through the smell of smoke it's still homier than his old house ever was. 

There are photographs held to the refrigerator with little fruit magnets including a polaroid his fought Max for, where there are four bodies sleeping and warm on Steve's old couch. All the kids are present in them and in a million small things around the house. In the dragon painting Will gave them (the dragon is blowing a stream of smoke straight up, spinning a giant basketball), in the books from Dustin lining the floorboards, in the truly horrible soap dispenser from Max (something sculpted and gotten secondhand, some sort of creature that may have a hint of raccoon in its family tree but good god its eyes). In the cardboard standup of a huge popcorn bucket with a face Robin helped him smuggle out of Family Video, which lives leaning against the wall half behind the boxy tv.

In his actually present roommate, smiling with a full mouth and rehashing the in-store release party of someone 'too mellow and whiny, you'd love him Steve'.

After dinner, after the smoke has cleared out and they've teamed up on cleaning the kitchen, they turn on the TV and play cards in front of a Twilight Zone marathon. Because it's creepy enough to be interesting but not enough to be upsetting, at least that's the theory. 

It’s quiet and it’s calm and Steve doesn’t mind losing because it makes Eddie crow and jump up and ruffle Steve’s hair in some kind of display of victory, and it’s such a contrast compared to his life flooding out of his body through Steve’s hands in the Upside Down, a vision that sometimes feels just around the corner even though it was over a year ago and the wounds are all probably scar tissue just like Steve’s. Silverskin that catches the light and only feels like a bump to his fingers even if sometimes still feels like it could bleed when he moves wrong.

Steve has this nightmare sometimes, one that’s not about death or monsters or people floating until their limbs break. It’s recurring, and he sometimes figures it out and tries to do something different but it never works. 

He has it again that night, after the anxiety of the smoke alarm.

He’s on some plane, trying to disembark to catch a connection, but there’s never a break in the line and he just knows he’s going to miss his flight, but he’s waiting and waiting for the end of the line of people, all of them showing at him and moving important slowly. 

When the last person finally passed, he grabs his luggage, struggles to carry it through the too-slim aisle, and speedwalks off of the plane. 

He hasn’t been on a plane since he was young enough his parents still liked to keep him around, so everything feels like what a kid would describe. Too big, not logical. He walks onto the gangway between the plane and the airport, and he knows he’s going to miss his flight so he takes a shortcut, through another plane and another gangpway somehow, and he has to climb up these stairs and step over large gaps with all of his things, things he keeps dropping thirty feet below - his jacket, his hat, his big suitcase, his little one, his satchel, and the flight attendants on the tarmac keep yelling at him and telling him he has to go to the baggage claim to pick everything up but he has to make his flight, dammit. 

He’s shaken awake by Eddie saying ‘Hey, big guy, it’s okay, take a breath for me.’ and Steve goes from near tears and hyperventilating to so embarrassed he feels like the skin of his face is going to slough right off. He gulps a few deep breaths, avoids Eddie’s eyes even though he’s trying to catch Steve’s, focuses on some spot on the wall over his shoulder. Notices that the shoulder he’s not looking at is bare and has a little red mark from a sheet’s fold on it and focuses on that instead. 

‘Sorry. I’m. I’m okay.’ 

Eddie is looking at him, finally gets him to meet his eye. Steve has talked to Eddie about all the horrible nightmares after all the horrors of everything, knows Eddie has them too, and he feels so stupid because this was a dream about a damn airport.

‘You are. You’re okay, you’re home. Everything is fine.’ Eddie’s hands feel big and warm on Steve’s shoulders, and Steve has started matching his breathing and he didn’t even realize, a big breath in through the nose and slowly letting it out through the mouth. 

The word home hits him and it hits him hard. 

Eddie stays with him as his breathing slows, as he stops taking everything in at the quick shutter speed that comes with panic. He sees that Eddie's eyes are tired but kind, feels his hands still on his shoulders. Eddie's rambling about some dream he had once about trees that came to life and walked around, and he's laughing about it and Steve's trying to focus on the story. 

'Anyway, the big oak tree turned out to be a massive dickhead so the other trees just pushed him off a cliff.'

Steve laughs back at that, thinks about of course an oak tree would be a dick. 

'There ya go, Stevie. You're okay. Wanna talk about it?' Eddie finally takes his hands off of Steve, tucks his legs under him on the bed. 

'Not really anything to say,' Steve yawns, 'I'm sorry I woke you up.'

'You didn't wake me up, I couldn't sleep,' Eddie lies, 'I heard you yelling in here and figured you'd wanna get out of there.' He pokes at his own temple. 

'The most fucked up thing is it wasn't even about the Upside Down, it was just a run of the mill nightmare, it was stupid.'

'We've been through so much I bet even the normal nightmares come from it though, like you don't shake off the trauma like that. It's not stupid.'

'You're actually kind of smart, Eddie.'

'"Actually". Great. Thanks for the confidence.' He stretches out a leg to kick at Steve, leans back on his arms a little for range. 

'I mean it!' Steve's laughing a little. 'You're smart! You read for fun!'

Eddie squints at him, but must come to the conclusion that he means it. He stands and stretches, long like a cat, and says 'I'm going to the grocery store to get ice cream, there's no way I'm going to be able to sleep.' 

In the faded light that pours in from the streets through his curtains, Steve can make out harsh lines of tattoos and scars like a transit map. He wonders if any of his tattoos were ruined. 

'It's-' Steve looks at his alarm clock '-three in the morning, no way. You'll get murdered.'

'You can come with me for safety.'

'The only place open this late is like 45 minutes away.'

'And they will happily exchange ice cream for my hard-earned cash, so I will happily be patronizing them.' 

Steve agrees with a huff that's mostly for show even though he can feel a headache brewing at the base of his skull that he hopes won't be a migraine. He takes a painkiller and chugs a glass of water. 

After they'd both shrugged on hoodies and sweats and untied sneakers, after Steve had won rock paper scissors so they climbed into the Beemer, after Eddie swore and went back inside for his wallet, Steve sits looking at the lights coming from the apartment windows. They're warm and soft and inviting, and they'll be there when they get back. He thinks about how their apartment has a face and a personality, how by making it into a home they'd given it life and how he kind of feels like it's done the same for him. 

He watches Eddie's silhouette moving around, looking for his wallet, and he thinks about how lucky he is that they're in each other's lives, Eddie and Steve and their warm little home over the cafe. 

[w0rd3855]

Chapter 1

(Mike P.O.V)

I groan as my alarm clock rings. I rolled out of bed and into the bathroom. I stare at myself 

“fuck I need a haircut” I mutters. My hair is dark brown like my shitty ass dad’s. But fluffy and curly like my mom. A pang of sadness washed over me. Damn I missed her so much she was the only person I could talk to but after she killed herself I was left alone. I walk out into the kitchen where I spot my younger brother, Chris already up. Chris always looked like he never slept even though he took medicine to help with his sleeping problems. 

“Hey cry baby” I said as I flicked the back of Chris’s head.

“Mike stoppp” Chris whined as tears started to form in his eyes. I rolled my eyes. My brother was always about to cry. It was annoying.

“Hey hey no crying I’m sorry” I said patting Chris’s head “Where's Lizzy?” 

Chris sniffed “She’s sleeping still”

“Can you go get her then? If you do, I'll make breakfast” I said, opening the fridge up.

“Really!?” Chris said looking up.

“Yeah we have eggs, cereal, or toast with butter,”  I say. 

“OK!” Chris said running off.

{a couple minutes later}

“Morning Mikey” Liz says as she hugs me.

“Morning” I say as I lift Liz. And settle her on my hip.

“Where's daddy?” Liz asks, staring up at me. I try not to roll my eyes. My father could care less about us but Liz is still convinced he’s the best parent anyone could ask for. Bull shit.

“Work” I answer “What do you want for breakfast?”

“A bagel!” Liz says

“We don’t have bagels” I say.

“But I want one!” Liz says. I’m tempted to throw her but I remember what my mom said ‘Mikey darling you just need to control your temper. How about this? If you promise to apologize to the boy I won’t tell your father you got into another fight, how about that darling’ she would say in perfect British accent. I would nod and smile. ‘Good. Now go fix yourself up, we’re having pasta’

“Liz.” I say evenly “You can have some toast, cereal, eggs, or starve.” 

She glared up at me but I guess she wasn’t in an arguing mood so she sighed then mumbled “Toast is fine…”

“Good” I say as I put her down. “Go get ready you can eat on the bus”

{At school}

I walk by all the students. Before spotting my friends.

(Jeremy P.O.V)

As Mike walks up my heart skips a beat. Damn why am I like this. Felix immediately jumps down from his ledge he was sitting on. And wraps his arms around Mike's waist, I envied Felix how easily he can touch Michael without getting flustered. 

“Ok queer boy” Mark says as he blows out some smoke from his cigarette.

“Oh shut your Mexican ass up lest I can hold a relationship,” Felix shots back.

“This isn’t a relationship. It’s more your gay as fuck and Mike puts up with your bullshit,” Mark says, blowing more smoke out.

“I aint gay. But this is a longer relationship than you have ever had,” Felix says, narrowing his eyes.

“OK virgin,” Mark says, which starts a whole lot more bickering from them. I listen for a little bit then tone out and end up staring at Michael. I have been in love with Mike since freshman year. When I was getting bullied and Mike told them to go fuck themselves. It was my first year in this town and Mike should have cared less about me but he still stood up to them. Unfortunately I can’t be…. you know… queer? It was the 1980s being queer was gross. Queer people were being thrown in jail for nothing. Queer bars were being burned to the ground. It doesn’t help that this town is super small and homophobic. But my mother is too. Like every time she has any free she just talks about how awful queer people are. 

“Jer?” Mike says, waving in my face

“Huh?” I say, being aware all them are watching me.

“You were scaring us dude,” Felix says. “You completely zoned out,”

“Really hadn’t noticed” I say sarcastically. 

“Ass” Felix says. And Mark lets out a laugh which results in a punch from Felix. 

“Ladies can we get through fucking school before we start fighting” Michael says rolling his eyes. And we all start walking to our first class. As we walk people call out to Mike. He gives them a nod. Mike was the scariest kid at our school. If you messed with anyone under his protection, you were in for a treat. But really he was the nicest guy ever. God damn it stop being g….queer Jeremy! 

{Felix P.O.V lunch}

Me and Jeremy walk out onto the field where Mike and Mark are already sitting eating lunch. I watch as Jeremy’s face turns red when Mike smiles at us. I run over and settle myself on Mike's lap. He lays back on the grass. Mark starts to tease us. But is quickly shut up by Mike's middle finger.

“Not. A. Word.” Mike warns. 

“You're not scary Mike,” I say, taking a bite of the awful cafeteria food.

“Most of the school would disagree” Jeremy says.

“Yet the scariest boy in school can’t stand up to a 5’3 gay fucker” Mark says as he throws a piece of food at me. I flip him off. But I do wonder how Mike puts up with me. The late calls because I’m too drunk or high to think straight. The crying in empty classrooms. All the times I reach for his hand. Why? My thoughts are interpreted by the bell.

“Ugh yep I’m definitely skipping I have Mr. Coles next and I didn't do my homework, my ass is gone,” Mark says standing up. “I’m going to the roof to smoke, does anyone care to join me?”

“Sure” I say, brushing myself off.

“Eh why not” Mike says sitting up.

“Uh I guess I can come too?” Jeremy says, he’s the only one who doesn’t smoke but we have corrupted him enough that he drinks. Not that we were trying to force him, it just happened that he started drinking. But I’m all for him staying away from that stuff. He has the highest chance out of all of us to do something great. 

{Mark P.O.V rooftop}

We all smoke in silence before Mike says:

“I’m going to runaway” 

I almost choke on my smoke “Well not now but after highschool I’m going pay for a train ticket and get away from this fucking shitty ass town. And you're all coming with me.” Mike continues. “Were all going live our fucking lives not survive but actually live our lives. We can do what we want to do. And when I can I’ll fight for my siblings and bring out every shitty thing he has ever done. Maybe, I can become their legal guardian

“Keep dreaming but that's not happening, we're going die here,” Jermey says.

“And here's pessimist Jeremy to save the day,” Felix says sarcastically.

“I’m not pessimistic! It’s the truth,” Jeremy shots back.

“You could at least tell him lightly,” Felix says.

“Right… crap sorry Mike that was mean,” Jeremy says quietly, as his face turns red.

“Damn even you Felix way to crush a man's dreams,” Mike says, holding his heart.

Felix touches Michaels forearm lightly in comfort. “I believe in you really Mike but we’re the unluckiest teenage boys in all of Utah. Hate to say it but we are never leaving”

“I think you can do it,” I say, they all turn to stare at me. “What? Mike has the best grades and a real chance of getting out of here. Plus he said he was bringing us with. And I don’t know about you but I’m all for getting as far as fucking possible from my parents,”

“Thank you Mark,” Mike says smiling “Not everyone has given up on me,”

“If Mark believes in you then you can definitely do it,” Jeremy says, giving a small smile.

“You fuckers aren’t leaving right? When Mike leaves I better have a ticket cause this ass is getting so far away from my mother you won't even be able to see it, which is crazy seeing how big my ass is,”

“So now you believe in me,” Mike says, side-eyeing him.

 “I always believed in you Mikey,” Felix says, with innocent eyes. “I just didn’t want to leave Jeremy alone in his puddle of sorrow,”

“Thanks for throwing me under the bus,” Jeremy mumbles.

“First of all don't call me Mikey it's weird only my sister calls me that and she’s 8,” Mike says “And second of all I don’t believe you believed in me. How does that feel,”

“Aw but Mikey’s cute,” Felix answered, taking a step forward towards Mike.

“I hate you,” Mike says, even though the corners of his mouth were suppressing a smile, Mike pushes Felix lightly away. 

“You know you love me,” Felix laughs.

“Damn Mike’s all done with your gay shit,” I laugh. Then we all start laughing as the bell rings twice telling us it was the end of the day.

Hope you like it even though I don’t know who would read this if have any suggestions for what these stupid boys should do in the next couple chapters feel free to leave a comment love you all stay safe <3

(if you want to read this another way follow me on Wattpad https://www.wattpad.com/user/w0rd3855)

[onekisstotakewithme]

make of our hearts, one heart pls pls pls -ypq

Short version: BJ and Peg are renewing their vows in 1957 (but it's also partially a front for the triad to 'get married').

Long version: This is the culmination of the first mini arc (can you call it a mini arc when it's going to be like 300k all-told?) in my post-canon verse that starts with 'ye who are weary'; BJ and Peg and Hawkeye finally get to get married, and this is, of course, followed by a honeymoon which means... wedding night sex 🌈🌟 this is perhaps the most egregious of my drafts in that a whole draft exists. I just hella burned out writing the charles/donna wedding and then jumping into this, and it's also 125k. so. there's that. SOMEDAY I'll remember how to edit it 😒 but in the meantime it makes a fun addition to my WIP lists.

And I'm adding a snippet under the cut because of course 💜 thank you for enabling me to ramble about this fucker (affectionate)

“It’s alright, darling, we don’t think you’re any more of a pervert than we already did,” she says, offering him a warm smile that does more to fluster him than the heat of the sauna.

“Well, I’m relieved to hear that,” he teases back.

“Did you know?” she asks, propping herself up on one elbow as she looks at him. “When you were sitting in the sauna with those boys – did you know you liked men then?”

“I knew,” Hawkeye says, and grins. “I knew from the time I was about… eleven, maybe?”

“I was sixteen, I think…” Peg says, before frowning like she’s thinking it over. “Or fifteen, maybe.”

“What about you, Beej?”

“Who, me?” BJ puts on his best wide-eyed look. “I didn’t have a damn clue until college – and even then, took me a while to figure out that I didn’t necessarily have to choose a side.”

“And now you’ll never have to choose again,” Peg says with a laugh.

“Right,” Hawkeye agrees, not sure why there’s a sense of unease hanging about him, even as he laughs with Peg. “You’ve got a matched set – one of each.”

BJ grins too. “I’m not complaining.”

“It’s like salt and pepper shakers. Peanut butter and jelly. You can’t have one without the other.”

“I’m a lucky man,” BJ agrees.

“Me too.”

And then, Hawkeye gets why he’s uneasy, and he sees the same thought hit BJ, both of them turning to look at Peg – who is just like they are, only…

“Peg, honey…”

“Oh no,” Peg says, looking between them. “Just when I was starting to feel relaxed… why are you two wearing your ‘bad news’ faces?”

“Because uh… we both get a matched set, but you don’t.”

“I got two for the price of one,” she says, trying to make a joke out of it. “Why should I complain?”

“But Peg…”

“Peg, listen, I know last night we said that it would be the three of us, that we’d be exclusive… but…”

“But what?” Peg asks, looking between them, and BJ nods to Hawkeye.

“But if you want to go out and find a lady, we won’t mind.”

Peg looks flabbergasted, and then hurt. “Why the hell would I want to do that?”

“Well, just… Beej and I both get to have it both ways, so to speak. We get each other, and we get you. The matching set.”

“So?”

“So, if you want the same opportunity-.”

“The fuck is that supposed to mean?” Peg asks, her eyes on fire as she sits up, flushed with anger more than heat. “That I’ll suddenly have changed my mind about being faithful to my husband just because I added another?”

“Peg, no, that’s not what we’re saying.”

Peg seems a little calmer now, although her eyes are still ablaze. “Then what?”

“We just wondered if you might miss sleeping with women,” Hawkeye says, trying to keep his tone nonthreatening. “I mean, you seemed to have pretty fond memories of that girlfriend of yours…”

Peg looks between the two of them, but she doesn’t seem angry anymore. In fact, glancing between the two of them, she bursts out laughing.

Hawkeye isn’t expecting this and flinches back from the loud noise, BJ raising an eyebrow as Peg cackles so hard she nearly slides off the bench of the sauna, her skin slick with sweat.

“Get over here, you idiots,” she says.

“Peg…”

“She’s cracked,” Hawkeye says, shaking his head a little fondly, but they do slide along the bench so that they’re sitting together, one on either side of Peg.

She rights herself, wiping at the corners of her eyes.

“You idiots,” she says fondly, looking between them. “I don’t want anything else – and I certainly don’t want to put our life in danger just because I missed my calling as a cunning linguist.”

“Peg-.”

“No, listen to me. Who the hell would we even ask for that? Who could we trust? Because pick the wrong person and you know it could come back to bite us in the ass – the instant some poor woman gets caught in a raid and gets told to name ten of her friends or hang, who do you think she’ll think of first?”

“I guess I didn’t think of it that way.”

“It wouldn’t be worth it, just for me to get my rocks off. I can do that perfectly well on my own – or with your help.”

“We just thought…”

“I know, darling, and I do appreciate you thinking of me.” She looks dangerously close to bursting into laughter again, but manages to contain it. “But you said last night that you didn’t want anyone else. And I feel the same. Sure, sleeping with a woman would be nice, but I don’t necessarily want that. I just want the two of you.”

“Well,” Hawkeye says, squeezing her knee, and giving her a leer. “You’ll be pleased to know that we want you too.”

“You sure have a funny way of showing it,” she says, and Hawkeye, despite the heat, leans in to kiss her, tasting the salt of her sweat on her lips, and the sweet taste of her mouth, the smell of steamed wood and hot coals in his nose.

[metamorphosisme]

Curls hair, puts on makeup, and new dress to pick up my man. Not only does he not acknowledge me at all but as soon as we get home he jumps in the shower then half way threw calls me over. "Me and our daughter are going over ***s house for a bbq idk how many people is gonna be there but there will be kids ectect" after I say ok and a long pause he goes "you can come if you want"... I just said it ok and made up the excuse for taking care or the baby. I just had that gut feeling that he didn't want me there, it sucks, I thought I looked ok even though I gained 5lbs back... I just wanted to feel... alright? ... anyway Then right before I leave he goes "what did you do today?" I said worked, nothing why? He goes "you smell like a dog I keep gagging.".... broke my fucking heart dude... he did ask for a kiss but then left... back for another binge once he was gone... im so fucking sad man and if I show him I'm sad he gets mad it's so ridiculous.

When he gets home I'm sleeping on the couch and I open my eyes, he looks down at me and says "why do you have that fucking face on for already". Like 😭😭 legit all I did was open my eyes.... I just went upstairs away from him he was obviously drinking.. he's been drinking for about 3 or 4 months straight everynight.. only 6 16oz millers but the "only" is me trying to tell myself it's ok because he works.... how am I supposed to tell him to kick something when I can't even cut down my fucking eating... ive gained 5 pounds in 2 weeks. I legit feel like the fat I can see in my face, and my stomach is puffed out, like I see it and maybe that's why he's being mean to me again.... ha... another thing we were sitting on the couch he ate this peanut butter thing and threw half on a napkin on the table, time goes by so I broke a piece off to try and he looked at me horrified, " just because I didn't eat it doesn't mean I wanted you too"..... you think it would have been a sign...

Idk if he only likes me when I'm skinny because I only like me when I'm skinny but mam screaming sick kids, his bipolar / drinking, + trying to work and running a fucking house and running everywhere the fuck else everyday is tough man... I just wanna be happy so bad. My doctor just puts me on any new medication that's on the market, my therapist said I need a psychiatrist and a nutritionist, the psychiatrist won't call me back and the doctor shit needs to be done in secret because my man doesn't believe in that.... (he went to my doctor for his bipolar and he almost killed himself multiple times from the meds..) I've been debating ozemp or the off brands but I'm seeing A LOT of people having suey thoughts on it, it's like a whole underground thing nobody is talking about and it's not like self ouchy it's like felt so low one day did some crazy shit and is now in a coma... idk man I just don't know... I just ordered elevate from avantera to see if maybe that helps with my compulsions. I don't have add as far as I know because I can take an addi and feel my body pick up... could be wrong but I've always heard if you have add and you take one you get slow so trail and error I don't believe that's my case.. oy idk now im rambling to my damn self.. Hopefully I'll read this later and maybe it will give me the strength to be strong and not give in. Eating helps for a moment like a drug but the reprocussions of it are just foul... oh ha and side note deff the weight plus my sugar cuz I'm back to being in pain.. again omad I'm done I can't go on like this... lol no eating was so easy when I was able to just work and sleep all day haha now add having to make 10 meals a day not for yourself and everyone eating different shit on top of daily stress and cleaning... lol whole shit is wild...

[the-firebird69]

There's a few reasons for this pantry thing happening and the girls upset again but she should realize that the mental health people are after him and their competition and he needs store-bought food and money to buy that but he appreciates the effort because he cleared out an area of cabinet for food and that's what he needs to put there in case he needs it occasionally occasionally he needs a boost from chef boyardee and some other things a good idea I like the whole thing worked out to be a decent idea there's fruit that's in the can and it's a good idea cuz of emergency is peanut butter and he's going to get the same round of stuff but all new so he thanks you for that and it's the real effort the other is it lit up the homeless coalition people and they're trying to go after him still and the hospital and they don't need to do that and Matt is angry as hell he wants them down all the time and people aren't doing it and he says we need to take it over to go to the hospital at all and those things are happening now. They are going after the hospital and they're helping of the minority molar helping they'll have nurse jobs assistant jobs and cleaning jobs and it's going to go down very soon and Trump puts Mac in the hospital in Los Angeles because of it and eventually Mac ruins him out there and said this is how you keep coming at us. And he's a nuisance but things are starting to change and Ken is looking into hard knock kick your 5150 and how to get parts for it you're sort of recognizes the make and location of the parts and it's not my family and it's not his it's in the middle somewhere and people don't mind it but it's hard to get anything for them to do and Ken says I don't know if I can do it because they're in the middle so my husband says I don't think they're in the middle I think she's saying that cuz she wants you to do the pagsta and he says oh. Now it's going to be an ordeal cuz he can't get this hard knock thing going and people aren't letting it and it's just strange nobody wants to do anything but sit around and die here and my husband wants out of here there's a crap hole you people want to be crap neck is working now but really just make a channel in the channel and then you have the assholes do it and someone would want to do it you know BG or somebody to screw them up but still he needs a little bit more for transportation and a scooter might not be it he's trying to get it going anyways we're going to have to start making stuff pretty soon

Right now the nights in the right side in there for me up in the upper Midwest all the way across to New York and they're going to attack everywhere except where Mac is and he moved the shield all the way to the Pennsylvania line in the West so that's the line of demarcation it is a gigantic Army it's gathering size as they go up there and they go up there and one or two trillion groups and they're gathering them as well and in areas it's like 40 trillion and they're taking their armament and they're becoming this massive Force and they're still in the Midwest and they're going to take over the upper Midwest and wall it all off Corydon city's off and still and and sit there until they leave or go and then they're going to take the Midwest over it's a huge Force

And we're going to talk more shortly

Hera Zues

It is really massive and no I haven't really said this and it's with joy of saying it it's gigantic it's so damn huge and now we're going to be big up here finally with what he said I thought we were saying it the whole time or not then we start to say if there's like a 10% chance for screwed because we could get found out and then it's going to suck and that's what he means too and there's a risk in what we're doing so we're all getting ready and they're pushing for big lasers and chips and now I see it too this is going to high gear I'm going to say it our way to ours and we're going to issue reports but we're going to go ahead with your idea it's Star Trek and it's other genre and we know what to do we we do have a great handle on it and we are going to make big facilities in cities just like his little circus kind of going to go interactive and we can do stuff like that too to encourage it and have recruiters there and they want to do both and now and we're going to go ahead and do it but really I see you sitting there wallowing looking for something to do anything and getting pantry food was like an event so it's pretty poor here okay that's pretty poor and looking for his Xfinity thing is an event that's also very poor

Thor Freya

It's very poor and we need assistance and we need it badly and we need personnel to help here his middle areas are going to empty he's more lock will be gone and there's a lot of them left once they are and they're less of a threat we're going to have more people but we need it now and we need professional help we need train personal here there's no way we can cut people out of people have to sign on in order for it to happen and we need people to do that he said he's creating it and see how it's going out now there's much more of a response and see that they talked about the lasers and our performances exemplary that were tired and beleaguered and there's a lot of big eyes so it's good and we need help here we really need help I don't want to be stuck making products for them cuz they might go insane I already are insane I like his idea of having us in the factories of theirs and we should be we are anyways but having our factories there too with them working and hard not kick her 5150 is an idea and nobody can seem to get this thing going like nobody so I don't know what he's going to do we can try and help I do see what he's saying there's a place that makes frames there's a place to make motors and help them get it together with someone who has some money like Frankie lapena and you can meet and he knows and he can bump into Bob so we're starting to see something he can get them to fund it but really he's going to do something he's bored and angry and he needs funding social security or any of his own money right now the shield is approaching the 128 beltway and he says that that's not too far from the 495 but it is a good distance and it is like 20 miles or 18 miles they say but the shield goes pretty far with a row and when they pull off Western Pennsylvania cuz they plan to it will proceed to go to 495 and it's questionable whether they're going to cover westborough and he says they probably will and not tell people so after tonight it's only a few more days and that will be a reality and in between them is Tommy boy we really got to get some one of these damn movies to work we have all these movies and it hasn't happened it's really weird we say they happen they're going on and nobody can see it so I think what happens is we own the Midwest and upper Midwest in the areas and they start their movies and just celebrations and the war thing cuz I think it'll be like Australia in the future where they just get nailed

Frank Castle Hardcastle and yeah that was Zeus that last line and Hera helped she says

Hahahaha that's rich and funny for crying out loud is real too and we need to get him some money it's ridiculous but they're going to go for the buried money and what happens is Stan gets a beat down and starts doing these movies and Sherry does and becomes atomic blonde I'm pretty sure Stan gets killed finally and The Departed which hasn't it hasn't started I'm trying to say this is damned annoying can we have any movies start you know how about some slow ones and he says that's a great idea not even like a comedy and that's what about Jack Nicholson and it does a few other movies kindergarten cop and the Terminator leads into it but they probably start to this crazy s*** and try and tell people what happens in the future and then all psyched about it because it's happening and they don't know what we're doing and they're not going to until it's too late

Duke Nukem Blockbuster and we have this in hand but Clinton and his cadre are planning on going out there tomorrow and some of them went out today and they're looking around and see what you mean it's like a big secret of someone's and they were looking at it or trying to go to it or trying to feel it you know fill it up or finish it or whatever but he's very curious and he's going to start his circus thing he's going to follow in the footsteps of Frankie lupena and he has drinks and things of elixirs that work and a lot of marlock will go after his. It's ironic because Ken is actually kicking this whole thing off someone else is sitting around like a lump of s*** and Ken says this he's trying not to make me feel bad daddy says in the future of doing much better it says you're selling things like your big buns not hot buns is this how am I doing that you started laughing and said you got to be kidding me since it starts with farting a can and literally Bob birdie's helps. So I guess I was little online and it started laughing and giggling he said I'll do it I said really there's nothing to it but okay. It says easier than the stock market so you going to earn some money cuz you owe money dummy to say when your relatives died one if Trump's characters. He says he's going to do that cuz he has to die to relinquish the position and Mac will help it happen probably become a trend and Mac is saying it's an analogy and stuff so he's trying to do that. Unless we want that but we have a lot of stuff going on there's a lot of demand for the Indian motorcycle and tons for white Corvettes tons and they want the boat is seen it out there and they want it they said wait a minute if these are our ships or even the clans the clans build those and they said this would be my company so they started yelling it and there's a whole bunch of people that got hurt and a few people got away and they want the boat and they're trying to order it and they don't know from where it's closed off so I want to do that for you and you say it's great and pull some of my kids along with me with you because like a break. They say they want to do it and they want to do it like right now this is no problem with that and we get to get it approved so I'm going to get it approved

Duke Nukem Blockbuster

They want to put a sales office a small one like two rooms or something crazy some pictures not much and just a small sign out front on the kiosk not even and it said how are they going to get business and just tell one person and like go to Starbucks and be in line talking to some girl or something you have to do one of ours cuz we don't talk to other girls and then all the sudden I got this idea we want to test that somehow and that's how so going to do it and he said you go ahead of the nothing and just put the small office in like that like it's an underground thing I'm trying to sell these stupid zero motorcycle rebuilds and we can't seem to do it he says why the hell is this a problem at all and why is it a question and why are we struggling with it and why don't we just see if people want to volunteer for the service and do it because this guy's a problem no I said yeah I said what's the problem so I'm trying to get something I'm getting a little angry with my people if you want to volunteer for the zero motorcycle service duty please do so we can get it going we don't have anybody saying they want to do it and you just we're going to revamp it and sell it on the black market in a similar fashion and the idiots are going to come after it and we're going to go after them actually I'm going to say we have to do it and have people who want to do it before and I will send orders because of ridiculous I'm getting volunteers now but for crying about it doesn't even like motorcycles and like going after idiots only change their business or something we're just about to go after tons of them and no things have not changed we need to do this more so it's urging it's urgents urgent it has to be done now it's urgently needed to go now we need Olympus out of the way you guys going to get out of the way no your not. We're going ahead with it now we'll see it's a man but we have to help you and set up ways the man things that you're requesting and he said that we had to and we sort of had a system and we have to run it and we're saying it to you now all these things that were going to do and it's going to happen but I do understand something we need to hire people and we're hiring them now but this has to go now he says those motorcycles are there then go bad so we're hiring people we also understand what you're saying all of this is a rush and thank God I got it before him and it's Olympus saying it, plus we know what we're saying if I cried out loud it is a Russian it's an emergency he's having one everyone's having one everyone even Max and even the foreign s are having an emergency with this a****** his kids can't do it we talk to him about before they said put in the black market and be done with it get special especially agency special agents to do it if you don't hire people you're not doing the job and they look at it this way we need to get people to recruit yeah it's going to happen magically or the prisoners going to get it all done

[senorablack]

the one where he’s not picky but a man has his limits

Words: 405 Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Gabriel/Sam Winchester Additional Tags: Pickles - Freeform, Fluff, Humor Summary: Prompt via Tumblr user promptsforthestrugglingauthor: “Okay, so what if—” “No.” “What do you mean no?” “Every time you start with what if, we end up in some ridiculous scenario and I’m in some sort of trouble I don’t need to be!”

His initial concerns are the pickle to juice ratio and how expensive the damn jars are. Worrying about Gabriel's conspicuous shot pouring in the middle of a Whole Foods comes after that.

"Okay, so, what if--" Gabriels starts.

"No." Sam says.

It’s directed mostly to Gabriel, but a little to the jar in his right hand. It's a zesty bread and butter pickle. Some thing about the word zesty unsettles him. Butter in the context of vinegary fermented goods don’t sit right with either. But there is a considerable amount of juice.

"What do you mean no?" Gabriel asks.

"What ifs from you usually end in trouble. So...no." Sam says.

Sam shakes the bottle he’s holding in his left. Pepper corn and clove and garlic float around in the brine like some sort of murky snow globe. It’s a simple dill. It’s less expensive than the zesty one and packed to its brim with thin slices. Sam frowns.

“What?” Gabriel says, catching onto Sam’s dilemma.

“It’s just, a lot of pickles.”

“So we’ll make sandwiches.”

“At 3 slices a sandwich, one meal, two people—this is like 3 months worth of sandwiches.”

“Well we don’t have to eat ‘em in succession! They’re already in a vat of their own chill out until called out miracle elixir.”

“Won’t be if we use up all the liquid for your pickle backs.”

“Oh.” Gabriel says, “Huh, yeah, we better get three jars.”

“Three? Do you think artisanal pickle money grows on trees?”

“Throw down the plastic and give up the dramatics, Sammy. Grab two more jars and let’s boogie. All this booze is making me hungry.”

“Fine, whatever.”

When they get to the check out line, there’s a lady in front of them who's dressed in a floral one piece and miniature bowler hat on top of her large messy bun. Her cart holds several frozen lasagnes and a drill with changeable attachments. Sam hadn’t even known they sold drills with changeable attachments here. He looks behind him for the aisle they might have missed...Whose idea was it to put power tools next to the Pepto Bismol?

Speaking of bad ideas...

“Oh, uh, what was your what if?” Sam asks.

“Now you want to listen to me, huh?” Gabriel crosses his arms. “Was thinking we take a trip to San Diego for a torta.”

“Isn’t that...” Sam’s brows furrow. Gabriel snorts.

“Yeah, it’s a Mexican sandwich.”

[moxfirefly]

How about Raph convincing you to sit on his face? Reader is plus sized and self conscious about doing this…..but the bara has wanted this for a while and needs to butter you up.

Let’s be honest Raph can hold an whole fucking building. As if this would stop him. Sorry if this is short but my heads been all over the place sadly. So let’s get it 👌

Rated Explicit (18+ only)

His words had stopped you dead in your tracks.

There simply was no way your lust filled brain had communicated his words correctly.

“Excuse me?” You had been preoccupied with a spot on his neck when that baritone purr had picked up and his incredulous words had followed.

“Come on baby, don’t make me beg for it” While exactly what you would make him do, you honest to goodness weren’t even sure if what he had asked had actually been the truth. “What did you say?” You leaned away, although his massive hands had pushed back closer to him by a firm grip on your rear.

“Don’t make me beg?” He repeated genuinely.

“Before that” Your eyes squinted.

“Oh, I uh…want you to sit on my face?” He sounded sheepish, downright embarrassed now that the veil of lust had been lifted.

You chuckled, clearly this was just dirty talk. Raphael was no stranger to dirty talk, in fact it was a personal past time of his to drop some choice words throughout the day just to torture you. “Babe, you know you can go down on me no questions asked” You stirred the conversation back to the task at hand.

“Yeah yeah, but…I mean can ya? Cause that shit would be hot”Raph’s hand came to rest on your waist, fingers digging into the meat of you, you squirmed.

“Raph, I can’t” You expressed genuinely.

“It’s cool if yer on ya period I don’t mind” There was no way he just said that.

“I’m going to circle back to that in a few but…like I can’t, and it’s not because of that” You felt the mood would sour soon, why was he insisting so much on this?

It was Raph’s turn to squint his eyes. He cocked his head to the side still unsure why this wasn’t possible. “Is it like one of yer sex no no’s or something? I thought it be cool since well I do it but just different” God, you were gonna have to just print it out for him, huh?

“Raph I don’t know if you’ve noticed but on the heavy side, I don’t want to hurt you… can we just drop it?” You felt your cheeks heat up in embarrassment but were only met with his glare. “Are ya telling me I can’t pick you up? Because, man come here” Before you could protest, Raph had picked you up by the waist, one armed and he hadn’t even made a huff while doing so. You arms quickly wrapped around his neck, you watched your feet dangle.

“Woman I swear, you’ve seen me bench yer weight as a warm up, are you really putting my strength to question?” And for emphasis he maneuvered you to his other arm effortlessly. “Look I get it if it’s like not yet thing but…seriously I’ve been wanting to do it ever since I meet ya” A tinge of shyness adorned his features as he gently set you down on your feet. It was endearing honestly, you worried your lip between your teeth when you felt his hands cup your face.

“Yer gorgeous, fucking beautiful, don’t ever think otherwise”

His words swam inside your head, it didn’t help they sent a nice tingle down your spine. Ever so softly he led you towards the end of the bed, your legs still felt a mixture of frozen and jelly like. “Meet ya half way?” Raph sat down, shell against the end of the bed. “Compromise?” His hands beckoned you closer, landing on your soft thighs, once again digging his fingers into the meat of you. Slowly they inched up, hooking into your underwear and slipping them down.

At this stance his face was perfectly inline with your crotch. “Put yer knee on the bed, come on baby” And how could you deny such a request, when those green eyes are looking at you with a hunger that had you already a little wobbly. So you did, placed your knees on the bed, pressed your lower half towards his face…

That felt so damn good.

His rough hand grips your thigh, his other comes to rest on you rear and not so gently he forces you further more into his face. If his groan slipping into a churr isn’t enough to tell you how this is making him feel, then what else could?

You held onto to those strong forearms, it was all the support you could muster. Just like that Raph had swiped his tongue upwards in an angle that simply made you swallow a moan. The squeeze he gave your rear wasn’t lost to you, much less the gentle tap he gave the flesh. You moved against him, against his tongue, each stroke he gave you making your knees buckle. He grunted and churred against your core, each vibrating sound making you moan harder for him.

“Ra-ahh, oh god” He wanted to grin the second he heard his name slip out like that. He has you on that precipice, the taste of you so perfect on his tongue. It hit him so hard that he had you quite literally riding his face. He pushed his tongue further into you, teased your opening before swiping up to circle your clit. “THAT! Do that again!” Whatever the hell he had done had simply sent a delightful shock up your spine. When your eyes fell downwards, to the image of Raph’s glazed over green eyes, the picture of ecstasy. That image alone was worth it, what he was doing to you was simply and added bonus.

You moved harder against him, felt that slip into pleasure. Raphael held you against him, mouth intent on making your legs shake as your release hit you. He drank it all up, moaned the entire time and on that very moment you had simply become hooked.

Raph lapped up gently, enjoying each little spasm it gave you of overstimulation. “Hmm?” The shiny sheen on his lips and chin made your blush.

“Fuck, that was so good” Your legs still felt not of your body.

Raph merely smirked, his lips left gentle kisses across your thighs.