#hell of a pro wrestler

[indeedgoodman]

[could-they-be-a-pro-wrestler]

How successful would Burt Gummer…

Would you like to submit a character? Click this link if you do!

[saprophetic]

behold: limewire, the unaligned human space pirate. his ghost is in lesbian with another ghost and they rezzed their respective lightbearers together because their bodies were found near each other! except wire's ghost's girlfriend's lightbearer is a hive knight and he and wire cannot fucking stand each other. not for hive vs humanity reasons either because neither of them give a shit. they just find each other really fucking irritating. wire grinds his teeth in his sleep etc

[queen-susans-revenge]

So I am not a big rasslin' fan overall. I follow one, a single, wrestler and it's Athena/Ember Moon, because she's a huge nerd (and hot, but I repeat myself).

I just need the Baldur's Gate community to understand that this badass pro wrestler cosplayed as Karlach and it was smoking. Thank you for your time.

[gunbun]

Gunbun's Pro Wrestling Explainer For FFXIV Players Who Don't Understand Graps Very Well

Hi! Are you an FFXIV player whose only exposure to pro wrestling is the tales of how Vince McMahon is a piece of shit? Do you have thinkthonks about the raid storyline so far but aren't clear on how it relates to pro wrestling? Do you think "correct me if I'm wrong, but…" about any part of pro wrestling, but you're not a watcher? Are you interested in obtaining a little bit of knowledge and context about what it is we're seeing in the Ascension Arcadia Championship?

I gotchu. This whole raid storyline is a large homage to the highs and lows of professional wrestling, and from my knowledge as a fan of WWE in particular, its storyline so far is unfolding just like the fictional storylines that unfold in our real-world on a regular basis.

I posit that the present Ascension Arcadia Championship is a pro wrestling promotion that exists in Solution 9. And that it's not only helpful but entertaining once you become a little genre-savvy about it.

Sidebar For The Smarks: Yes, other professional wrestling promotions exist. We got TNA, ROH, AEW, all the indie promotions, AJPW, NJPW, STARDOM…. there are many. I'm just using WWE here as an example as it's the promotion I'm the most familiar with. There's more to pro wrestling than WWE. But I'm using one promotion as an example to explain the tropes of these kinds of storylines to folks who might not understand.

Preface: A List of Wrestling Terminology

Pro Wrestling has its own lingo. This is not an exhaustive list, just trying to cover the terms I'm gonna use in the essay part.

Promotion/Federation - a company that presents a stable of wrestlers fighting to compete to win a title to the greater public for sports entertainment. Talent can move from promotion to promotion. Federation is an older-school term for the same.

Title - the cool belt that the champion gets to wear. disclaimer: may not always be cool.

Talent - a professional wrestler.

Heel - the Bad Guy character.

Face - the Good Guy character.

Gimmick - basically the core of the talent's character. Are they an undead wizard? A genre-savvy angry Canadian man? A sexy male stripper? Pro Wrestling Barbie? A maybe-stoner Samoan who turned YEET into his catchphrase? These are all gimmicks that have existed or do exist in pro-wrestling today.

Booking - where the management of the promotion decides who fights whom and what the stakes will be (title defense, match style, etc).

Bump - when wrestlers collide with either one another, or the mat, or the turnbuckle, or the announcer table, or the ring steps, or the barricades…..

Work - this is stuff within the entertainment itself that furthers the fictional story of kayfabe.

Shoot - this is stuff that is Real Life that may affect the fictional story of kayfabe.

Promo/Promo Segment - speeches/skits done between matches to further storylines.

Pin/Pinfall - when one guy pins the other guy for a count of three. it usually means they win!

Submission - when one guy taps out after the other guy usually twists them into some kind of painful position. it definitely means they lose.

Kayfabe - the illusion that the characters, rivalries, and championships within a promotion are anything more than stuff that the talent does to get a paycheque. Both the talent and the audience suspend their disbelief and buy-in to the idea that the match has real stakes. It's the fiction that plays out as part of the matches. ------

Part One: PRO WRESTLING IS FAKE AND GAY

First thing I want you to do, while the smarks are still distracted above because I neglected to mention their favourite promotion, is hop over to YouTube and watch….. oooh! How about Drew McIntyre vs CM Punk in Hell in a Cell at Bad Blood 2024? Content warning for blood, blood, so much blood, but you can view this match here.

Did you see how CM Punk just annihilated Drew McIntyre with that toolbox? Did you see the absolutely balls-to-the-wall violence on display? The athleticism?! I went to that match in person and Drew had to have his head stapled back together! It was intense.

BUT WHAT THE FUCK, GUNBUN, you say, I THOUGHT PRO WRESTLING WAS FAKE.

Nope. It's predetermined. It's booked. It is a live performance involving people beating the shit out of one another for the entertainment of a crowd. It is done deliberately, with full consent of all parties, and today is done as safely as is possible.

In my other posts, I said that wrestling is predetermined and semi-choreographed. However, saying this does not mean that the bumps are not real and that they do not hurt. It doesn't mean that the talent aren't giving it their all.

The wrestlers are still beating the absolute shit out of one another. They use their skills and know-how to do their best to keep it from causing severe injury. In fact, wrestlers are always contending with one injury or the other. The vast, vast majority can be stapled up and given some PT and are back to work (wrestlers are in insanely good shape; they have to be!), but sometimes it's career-ending. Look up Diamond Dallas Page or Big E or Charlotte Flair and what they've been contending with lately/in their past. It is rough on the talent, even when practiced as safely as is possible.

The 'fake' part comes from the wrestling principle of kayfabe. Kayfabe is the fictional world wherein the promotion exists, it is the personae of all the talent in the promotion and the way they interact with one another.

I asked ya to watch the HIAC highlight reel for a reason. In real life, CM Punk is a guy named Phil and Drew McIntyre is a guy named Andrew and this match is the culmination of months of matches and feuding between their characters. Phil and Andrew, the people, are working together to create a spectacle for us, the audience. Punk and Drew, the characters, want to kill each other. It was expected that there would be blood during this kind of a match, and it was expected that Punk was gonna clobber McIntyre with that toolbox, but the cut was not expected to be that severe. And yet, this is live. They can't stop. And they deliver what is shaping up to be an all-time classic match. You'll notice everyone cheering and chanting. This is the other part of kayfabe: the promotion presents us the fiction, and we play along. We cheer for the faces, boo for the heels, or are die-hards for our favourite talent. One of my favourite wrestlers right now is undergoing a heel turn, where his character is moving from being a face to being a heel, and the reasons why are very dramatic storytelling.

If you think about it too hard, it's stupid as hell. But the talent love to do it and pride themselves on doing it well, it is undergoing kind of a renaissance right now from its shady past, and it's the modern-day gladatorial combat.

(The 'gay' part? Just…. just google Rhea Ripley. Then Damian Priest. Then Drew McIntyre. Then Roman Reigns. Then Tiffany Stratton. Then Becky Lynch. Then Jey Uso. Trust me.)

--------

Part Two: OKAY BUT WTF DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH THE ARCADION

I am already 1200+ words deep into this, so I looked at the introductory cutscene for the raid. And…. um, friends, Romans, countrymen, puks that I know: kayfabe is demonstrably and textually alive and well in AAC. The Arcadion is a show. What is my proof? First conversation, Metem, the promoter of the federation tells the WOL it's a spectacle. That's the word he uses.

He then says the purpose of the Arcadion is "By providing them with gripping entertainment it is our hope to have them forget their cares." However, to shock the citizens out of their stupor, they need someone new! New entertainment is the best way to get them to think about something that isn't their dead queen and the horrifying realization of what regulator usage means, after all.

Well, how about the hero of the day, the one who killed the king?

That's what the mysterious behind-the-scenes president of the federation (Metem's boss) thinks WOL can be the next champion. And then immediately tells us the storyline he wishes to cultivate and discusses WOL's remuneration for participation.

WOL agrees.

Opinion time: At first I called him Lalafell JBL because of the hat, but having reviewed the cutscene Metem is totally giving me NXT-Shawn Michaels vibes. I love it. Anyway.

WOL enters THE LOCKER ROOM. We are introduced to the three combatants AS THEIR CHARACTERS. We don't learn their names yet, but all right.

Honey B talks about sharing the stage with the WOL.

Brute Bomber talks about meeting WOL the ring and how he's gonna take them down!

This is literally and explicitly kayfabe we are walking into. It is not a matter of opinion. It's in the text. It's in the tropes. The three other combatants are doing the kayfabe thing of establishing themselves. Metem explains that they're characters (literally) and that this is their way of welcoming WOL to the locker room. Metem then explains how AAC works and he and WOL work out the deal for the souls from the repository. This isn't anything deeper than making the battles align to an 8-man raid. This is all Alexandrian flavor.

The shoot is the WOL saving souls. The work is Fresh Flavour for the Arcadion. Metem tells us he'll tell us more after our first match.

Thus begins M1: Black Cat is our foe who uses a feral soul to become .... that thing. This is Black Cat's gimmick. In the Arcadion the gimmicks are literal transformations via feral souls, but they serve the exact same purpose. WOL's gimmick is LOOK MA, NO REGULATOR, in case it wasn't clear.

WOL is told that all of this hullaballoo is in place in order to provide the audience with a spectacle. it's first and foremost entertainment.

Metem explicitly tells you this is entertainment, this is a show. Right there in the cutscenes.

Like IDK what else I can say. It's kayfabe. QED.

I am not going to get into the storyline for M2-4, but it is almost a shooty nature: something from real life is affecting the fighters and it's being covered up. THIS is the wrong that WOL will right. The spectacle continues because it is the way of life for people.

[agendabymooner]

MASTERLIST: A-N F1 DRIVERS by agendabymooner

LINK TO MASTERLIST: O-Z F1 DRIVERS by agendabymooner

LINK TO SOMETHING SINFUL (SMUT) MASTERLIST by agendabymooner (MINORS DNI)

note: I CANNOT OFFICIALLY FIT MY WORKS IN ONE POST 😭 so here is my alphabetical f1 masterlist!!!

legends/genre:

a = angst g = general fic hc = hurt/comfort h = humour

s = smut (minors, dni) mc = mature content (minors, dni) f = fluff

★ - newly added ♡ - favourite piece

ALSO CHECK OUT:

MOONY'S CHARACTER DIRECTORY

MOONY'S FILIPINO CHARACTERS DIRECTORY

alex albon (aa23)

front page lover (thai!kpop idol!ofc)

keeper, smau: polly berkshire has obscure interactions with her thirsty boyfriend and it's safe to say that they love each other.

fashion week, smau: the williams driver and polly always got something for everyone to talk about.

double aa, socmed snapshot: a series of instagram stories in which alex is a dad to alice albon

own it, smau: alex's hidden talent is being a good boyfriend with a dash of photographer. ★

fernando alonso (fa14)

the breakup and makeup series (pro wrestler!ofc)

time to rock and roll, fic: the first time beatrice staedtlander and fernando alonso had broken up. (hc) ♡

heaven, smau: back in 2000s, fernando alonso and beatrice anastasia 'trish' staedtlander were every racing and wrestling fans' couple. years after, trish alonso became a mother and a wife... and the grid's crush of the season. fernando was certainly not happy so what's a better way to remind everyone that he was hers? (f, g, h)

from the ground up, smau: tino and tiago alonso were the twins that trish had given birth to at the age of 40, and everyone understood now why she didn't make it to the 2024 canadian gp. (f)

look what god gave her, smau: beatrice 'trish' alonso survived fernando's messy image better than anybody did. (f, g, h)

bonnie and the fame

maneater, smau: bonnie catherine sutton was carlos sainz's ex-girlfriend who returned to the f1 scene as a different woman. turns out, she's fernando alonso's fiancée (f)

ego, smau: never underestimate a woman's self-esteem, it might end up wounding you more than it would her.

oliver bearman (ob8)

ice ice baby, smau: kimi raikkonen's daughter romania raikkonen debuted in formula one with her friends AND it's safe to say that the iceman doesn't like ollie that much.

icy in saudi, smau: aroma raikkonen was ollie's biggest supporter in his f1 debut. plus, she also had her personal 'reverse harem' consisting of her best friends in the f2 grid. ★

ollie on thin ice(man), scenario: kimi raikkonen had proven himself to be oliver bearman's biggest hater at some point. ★

jenson button (jb22)

pride and pettiness (x british!actress!ofc)

one, 2004: in which, ada and jenson met for the first time.

the mr. darcy type, smau: much like the popular love interest, jenson should have known better than to say things that wouldn't impress a woman he grew interested in. OR ada abbott made sure that he worked hard for her time and attention. (f) ♡

shunt the hell up! (x hunt!driver!ofc)

shunt your lovers, kiss your enemies. smau: it was funny how enemies can be your teammate AND your lover at the same time. OR jj hunt, the daughter of the late james hunt, was jenson's biggest rival until a certain baby predicament cost her her entire racing career. (g) ♡

better enemies than strangers, smau: the brawn gp docuseries discussed jj hunt and the surprising turn of events in her rivalry/partnership with jenson in 2009. ★

other works

affection, blurb: in which, jenson learned that he should just say it without being a little too drunk.

pierre gasly (pg10)

newsflash, smau: ensley soleil doesn’t like playboys. too bad, pierre gasly’s down bad for her (attention and love). (f, g, h)

odds, fic: their timing was always wrong, maybe that's why pierre should consider making it even for the two of them as she writes songs about him and their courtship.

lowkey, smau: fans thought that pierre moved on from ensley four months after publicly declaring his (love?) for her. funnily enough... (f, g, h)

indigo, chatfic + smau: there's really no reason for pierre gasly to be jealous over some man that ensley wrote 'high school in jakarta' about. not when she wrote one or more songs about the frenchman. (f) ♡

high school in jakarta, fic: meeting ensley’s close friends would also mean that he’d have to meet her high school sweetheart, who he believed he couldn’t compete against until ensley ensured that his two-day attendance wouldn’t be spoiled by some guy who couldn’t let go of some memories she couldn’t even remember. ♡ 

dancing with the devil, smau: ensley soleil doesn't care about what people are saying about her relationship with pierre especially now that she's married to him. (f)

vintage, smau: pierre gasly is a husband and a fanboy of ensley soleil gasly amongst other things. (f)

hot dad era, socmed snapshot: pierre gasly. 30% f1 driver 70% dilf.

other works

do i make you nervous, blurb: lesson learned: just date her first rather than being friendly in the bed.

lewis hamilton (lh44)

stevie and lewis (hearth sister!ofc)

thick and thin, smau + fic: lewis should know better than underestimating her and her capabilities to yearn for him for years. (hc)

hands on and paws on, socmed snapshot: lewis is a stay-at-home dad to lottie hamilton and his best boy, roscoe, happens to watch his mummys everywhere she goes as she carries baby hamilton #2.

the hamilton daycare, fic: lewis is already a stay-at-home dad so what makes his day out in monaco with his two kids any different? (f) (2/3 of daddy, debriefed!)

where the bad girls are (kpop idol!ofc)

lifted, smau: lewis is married to a kpop idol who happened to be one of the girls to shape the image of female groups in the korean pop community.

crowned couple (x miss universe!ofc)

the couple of the universe, smau: lewis is a careless being this season and everyone's wondering why.

melody series (x performer!ofc)

summary: with her sharp eyes focused on her audience, a burlesque performer who went under the name of melody returned to rythme romantique, an entertainment lounge which exclusively caters to the wealthiest people of monaco — or in this case, to the people with a status that are recognized by all. her three exclusive performances were meant to be a closure for her connections in the principality. still, a certain formula one driver saw it as an opportunity to reconnect with his former flame after two years of her absence. felicity vos learned that this was a rich man’s world and that he could do whatever he wanted, but she also realized that the agreement they settled on years ago was corrupted the moment he expressed his love for her. 

one, million dollar man: monaco was a world of glitz and glamour that she left two years ago. returning to the principality clearly was a huge mistake as she found herself talking to the man who swore to nothing but his love for her.

two, this is what makes us girls: "decorum isn't something you can buy with money or fame." or what did lewis really want from her and why did he show up on the second night of her performance?

arthur leclerc (al12)

the scheming schumachers, smau: sunny schumacher is mick's cousin and what does a family do? they attract arthur leclerc to get him away from his best friend, who happens to be mick's girlfriend. thankfully, the schumacher cousin is something of a welcome distraction for the monegasque.

charles leclerc (cl16)

the leclerc boys series (x hearth sister!ofc)

debunking drama, smau: prequel to of long lines and names; aimee hearth, the mclaren media manager and one of the famous hearth sisters, was rumoured to be dating lando norris. a certain monegasque's baffled reaction became a trending topic in twitter as he counteracts the rumour with an instagram post of his lover. (f, h)

many kids with many names, smau: everyone found out that aimee and charles were having not only one but two babies. turned out, those two babies have at least a million name. (h) ★

of long lines and names, fic: five kids with (almost) five names under six years. OR the three pregnancies that charles had witnessed told him how motherhood and memories could come in two sets of twins and a boy that looked so much like him. (f)

the leclerc daycare, fic: before his last set of twins were born, charles had to watch his boys on his own- not exactly by himself when he's got esteban and pierre acting as his right hand men. (f) (1/3 of daddy, debriefed!) ♡

about names, scenario fics

summary: extension to of long lines and names and the leclerc daycare; charles and aimee's boys and their names go hand in hand OR times when the couple had to tell their kids that their names were signs of love and respect for their namesakes.

one, an amazing boy with an amazing name: hervé's anger left his parents confused after he refused to be called by his first name. thankfully, his mamé pascale had an easy access to his heart that eventually led to an answer to his sadness.

two, the wingman of maranello: jules leclerc learned two things as he travelled to italy with his father: he had an uncle named uncle teague and uncle teague had a best friend that was once charles' godfather.

other pieces

"slut", smau: charles' ex trashed his new girlfriend a while ago, but too bad he wasn't really into the thought of making music with anyone but lou villar.

breaking curses not hearts, smau: frankie bardot atkinson was also known for her curse in the film industry. after breaking her long streaked curse and finally won an oscar, was it finally charles' time to break his curse at monza gp?

kevin magnussen (km20)

family ties, smau: lando norris forgot that his brother-in-law is in the grid with him and lola norris magnussen couldn't help but make of her brother for it.

lando norris (ln4)

lover era (x alessandro sister!writer!ofc)

london boy, smau: nicola 'cola' alessandro moved to britain and what's a better way to introduce yourself to england than taking a trip around with a certain mclaren driver? (f, g, h)

i think he knows, smau: grazia nichols published her debut novel based off formula one, and a fan could have sworn that the the book bf - nolan langford - was based off of lando's character as a driver altogether. (f, g, h)

✿ honey, honey! series masterlist - lando norris x ofc (honey-sue lewis) ft. sidemen

other pieces

too good to be true, smau: just a brief overview of lando’s relationship with a countryside girl who, beyond her introverted tendencies, was an unhinged, unserious yet amazing mother and girlfriend. ★

f1 drivers (general)

✿ 9 to 5 series masterlist - f1 grid x ofc (lester alessandro) ft. fictional wolff kids

✿ f1 voicemail blurbs - series of blurbs with voicemails left by the drivers. ★

too much caring, smau, sv5 + jb22: kpop idol juno was assumed to have cheated on retired driver jenson button with his best mate sebastian vettel. oh how wrong those people were...

[guywrestlingaddiction]

That Wrestling Moment: Hey Jealousy - Jonny Firestorm v Reese Wells (bgeast.com)

It's a wrestling tale as old as time. Just when you start to get good at something, you find out that you're already past your prime. Today we look at the jealousy of Jonny as he rips-apart Reese.

Jonny Firestorm v Reese Wells (bgeast.com) SPOILER ALERT: I highly recommend viewing this match in its entirety before reading this post.

The Backstory We enter on a taught and fit Reese, in peak condition and ready to prove himself. Bronzed and strapping, those lean muscles have never faced a challenge they couldn't overcome.

Next we're met with Jonny arriving fully covered up in a bathrobe, sizing up the young challenger.  I can almost imagine him reflecting on his own youth and nostalgic for earlier times.

Jonny: What do we have here? 

Jonny: I used to be built like that once ...

The Action

Jonny is a true pro gay wrestler, the man knows how to throw a jobber around and excels at the fine art of showing him off to boot.  But what Jonny doesn't get at first is just how talented the new kid is.  Not only does the kid have him beat physically, that much is sure, but he also has him matched in wrestling gravitas.  

At some point it's clear that this is more than just about winning.  Jonny has come to wrestle his own feelings out and beat those same feelings into Reese.  

Suddenly something shifts during the match.  Maybe Reese is just too quick or maybe Jonny just couldn't keep up with the young buck, whatever it was, a fatal error was made and Reese claims a win over the more experienced Jonny.  

It was bad enough that Jonny had to suffer the humiliation of youth besting his experience, no Reese had to take it a step further and shove that fit, tight body in his face.  

Jonny: Did that just happen?! What the hell do you think you're doing?!

The Moment 

And just as suddenly, jealousy has crossed over into rage.   Our match concludes with a victorious Reese relishing in his triumph over the heel.  Now I say this is the conclusion of the match because from this point on, it's no longer a match, this is all about settling scores.  

In fact, this isn't about the match at all but really about an experienced wrestler fighting against time itself. If Jonny can only pound enough experience into this young buck then maybe, just maybe, he can feel that nostalgia again.

This wrestling moment is all about the feelings brought out in me and isn't that what artistic expression is truly meant to do? For you see, the feeling of a seasoned heel pounding his feelings into a young jobber is what gay wrestling is all about. I can almost feel the jealousy radiating from Jonny, which makes sharing in his eventual gratification all the sweeter.

Jonny: I...I'm the man.  (Yes Jonny, you certainly are)

[abadbitchblogs]

SOS

Part 1

Pairing: Jey Uso x OC x Damian Priest

Warnings: none

Word Count: 2.6k

a/n: Ya girl is alive y’all! I wanted to revamp this because I felt like y'all deserved more! Thank you to everyone who has supported me and my work. I love y'all!  All likes, comments, reblogs and feedback is greatly appreciated!

-divider by @cafekitsune

Everything felt like it was moving in slow motion as the entire roster hooped and hollered in  celebration of Trin’s return at the Royal Rumble. While shots, champagne and cocktails were being thrown back, all Amirah could do was watch the way her best friend humbly received the love she deserved with tears threatening to spill down her cheeks. It was such a full circle moment for her; comforting Trinity when leaving the company broke her, supporting her decision to join Impact! Wrestling, then experiencing the reception of her homecoming. Watching her fall back into the swing of things like she never left felt so satisfying. Before she could spiral into an emotional breakdown, a large hand waving in her face snapped her out of her thoughts making her scrunch her nose in confusion. “Aye, girl! You good?” Jimmy’s furrowed brows and jutted out bottom lip came into focus, immediately coaxing a laugh out of her. Jimmy was one person that you could count on to lift your spirits without even trying- he was the textbook definition of goofy.

“I'm good, promise!” If he doubted she was telling the truth, the content glimmer in her eyes deterred him from pressing the matter any further. Instead, she looped her arm with his and dragged him back over to their friends where they could enjoy their night out. Plopping down on the sectional next to Trinity, the group of superstars fell into easy conversation catching up with those who are on a different brand as they only see each other during the major PLEs. Somehow the chat turned into the couples pestering the single people; i.e Bayley and Amirah. Bay may have fought to defend herself, but she just found their concern amusing. “Listen. I don't treat being single like a punishment. I love being by myself. I aint gotta worry about nobody cheating on me, nobody resenting me for my career or trying to police my body.” No lies were detected as they all had no choice but to agree. Relationships in their business were hard whether you were with a fellow pro wrestler or a regular person. “Besides, the chances of finding real love like y’all are slim as hell!”

“I know that's right!” Bianca gloated; her and Montez’s reality show was doing so well that they were WWE’s IT couple. Mirah playfully chucked a straw at their girlfriend while Trin, Bay, and Jade were too busy laughing at her EST antics surfacing outside of the ring. “ What about you and Damian? I be seeing y’all posted up looking cozy?” The question got a chorus of ‘oooohs’ from the women, but Bayley  made a face of disgust at her friends’ insinuation. “Girl no. We're just good friends. That man doesn't have a committal bone in his body.” Amirah hummed in affirmation having heard the rumors about Damian Priest and his revolving door of women. “I'm honestly surprised that the two of you aren’t close. He's from New York, you're from New York. He's single and you've sworn off relationships. And I know you like them a little older.” The woman’s jaw dropped at Bayley’s insane attempt at matchmaking. “Girl are you trying to set me up with a sneaky link?” That sent all of the women into another uncontrollable fit of laughter. “You do need some dick.” Trin wheezed out, furthering Amirah’s appalled facial expression before she swatted her best friend’s arm. “You know what? I’m out of here.” A laugh bubbled out of her as she stood dramatically from their huddle only to turn and lock eyes with Jey Uso.

There he was hugging his twin with his chocolate orbs boring into her chestnut ones. Spinning on her heel,  she suggested the girls go down to the dance floor for a song or two. “Come on y'all. We can't let this night pass without shaking a lil something.” Clasping Trinity’s hands, she pulled her to her feet then tugged her towards the stairs with a “We’re going downstairs to dance for a little bit, Jim,” thrown over her shoulder. They scurried by without waiting for a response although she knew Jimmy and Montez were going to follow them anyway to keep an eye on the group. One of the things that Amirah and Trinity bonded over was their love of music and dance with both of them being former dancers. As much as Jimmy hated it when Trin showed her ass, he was going to have to suck it up tonight because they were owed some time to let loose. All that is holy must've been on their side because as soon as they made it to the center of the dancefloor, Twerk by the City Girls and Cardi B blared on the speakers. “Come on, Trin! Lemme see something!” It was always fun to get Trin and Bianca to cut up because Trin was going to kill it every time but Bianca had no damn rhythm. The club was playing banger after banger after banger after banger. If they weren't professional athletes, their feet and edges would be shot to hell. Amirah was throwing her ass back on Trinity, both of them cackling at Jade and Bayley trying to show B how to catch the beat when the tempo slowed to a ballad.  Of course it was a song that a nigga always dedicated to her to make her feel special and now it pissed her off.

This is for you, you, my number one This is for you, you, my number one Oh, yeah, yeah-yeah This is for you, you, my number one

Sucking her teeth as Jimmy giddily cut in for a slow dance with his wife, Mirah cut through the crowd to head back to their section for another drink when she bumped into the only person she did not want to see. His grills seemed to glow in the low light of the club but before he could get a word out, she took a sharp left in search of the restroom. A wave of nausea crawled through her body and she needed to gather herself after coming in contact with that parasite. Just when her hand grasped the doorknob of the ladies room for a moment of solitude, a large hand engulfed her other wrist pausing her movements. “Mirah…” She didn’t even need to turn around to know who the trifling ass voice belonged to. Calmly snatching her wrist from his hold, she shifted her weight to one foot with a snarl etched on her gloss coated lips. “I’m sorry. Do we know each other?” Jey’s eyes softened at her faux confusion as he took a step toward her and her, taking a step back to keep space between them. “Mirah, come on. I just wanna talk to you. I wanna explain myself.” His pleading only made the bile in her throat rise, making her face twist in disgust. 

“Nigga, you should’ve thought about talking to me before you just cut me off like I was some random bitch.” Her words dripped with malice in hope of it being enough to get him to leave her alone. “We ain’t got shit to talk about as far as I’m concerned.” Shoulder checking him as she walked by, not even wanting to be in the same building as him, Jey fought the urge to reach out to her again. He knew getting her to talk to him would be near impossible, but he was determined. Amirah was worth taking accountability and uncomfortable conversations. 

Amirah shuffled through the sea of bodies on the dance floor to find her friends and wish them a goodnight. Trinity spotted the agitated look on her best friend’s face immediately even though she tried to plaster a smile over it. “What happened, boo?” Trin’s brows furrowed in worry only to have Mirah wave it off. “Nothing! I’m good. I’m just going to call it night. That liquor ain’t sitting right in my stomach.” The lie came out faster than she could even register, but it wasn’t a total lie. That bastard did indeed make her sick to her stomach. “Oh okay! We’ll go back with you. I wanna make sure you’re okay.” Gesturing for Jimmy to come over to the two of them, Amirah shook her head in protest. “Hell no. You stay and keep celebrating. You deserve it! I’ll be fine! I already called an Uber and I’ll text you when I’m back in my room.” Pulling her bestie into a tight embrace, she gave her a fat kiss on the cheek before moving to hug their group of friends goodbye. Much to her delight, no one questioned her sudden decline of health too much, just the request of a text message to let them know when she got back to the hotel. With a promise that she would text them as soon as she got in, Mirah flew to the exit of the club like a bat out of hell. 

Sucking in a breath of fresh air, the feeling of relief washed over her soothing the queasiness that plagued her. The Florida streets were surprisingly peaceful at night, allowing her to fully collect herself and actually call an Uber so she just wasn’t standing outside of the club like a lame. As she pulled her phone out of her black purse, the club’s doors opened once more flooding the silence with music. A tap on her shoulder made her slap a friendly smile on her face in case it was a fan wanting an autograph or a picture. But, it was neither and her smile morphed into one of shock when she came face to face with Señor Money in the Bank. Damian was dark and broody so she did not expect to see him at a nightclub, but if his reputation precedes him then he was here for a woman- or two. “Señor Money in the Bank. To what do I owe the pleasure?” Wiping the shock off her face, she mirrored his playful and dare she say- flirty smirk. “Well I was by the bar when I saw you rush out so I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” Feigning surprise, Amirah placed a hand over her heart and cooed at his sweet gesture. “Wait until everyone finds out that Señor Playboy is a gentleman.”

Her teasing pulled a chuckle out of him as he cocked a brow in question. “Playboy huh?” “Mhmm I’ve heard about you.” Laughing once more, Damian accepted defeat but pushed for info on his supposed playboy reputation. “So you’ve been asking about me?” Zeroing in on Amirah’s smaller frame with his almost charcoal gaze, it was her turn to laugh. “You wish.”  His smile broadened at her bratty comeback before he very noticeably gave her a once over. “¡Te ves hermosa.” Damian’s eyes met hers again with his gravelly voice scratching her brain deliciously. Maybe Bayley was right; he was fun. “Oh I know.” Mirah shot down his suave Spanish approach smugly, crossing her arms over her chest. “¿Hablas español?” “No, but you pick up a few things when you live in Harlem for a while.” 

Both intrigued and amused by the other superstar’s answer, Damian vowed to get to know her better in any capacity. “You know I was actually heading back to the hotel myself. Why don’t we share a ride? Uber is already on the way.” After contemplating getting in a car with him, Amirah pointed an accusatory finger at him. “If you insist, BUT no funny business.” Raising his hands in mock surrender, he flashed another cheek numbing smile at her. “Promise. Cross my heart and hope to die.” Slapping his chest for his dramatics, she couldn’t help her own snicker which he ate all the way up. 

Their Uber pulled up two minutes later and like the gentleman he was, Damian had helped her climb into the truck before getting in after she was comfortable. “So do you still live in New York?” He pried quietly while they enjoyed their ride back to the hotel. “Sure do.” She replied proudly, watching the palm trees go by as the car rolled on. “Me too. Maybe we could be travel partners.” Humming in thought, she turned to him with a soft smile. “Yeah maybe. I don’t know how often I can be seen with you in public though before people start talking.” He chortled at the woman’s response before giving his own, “Fair enough.” The rest of their car ride was occupied with a game of 21 questions about themselves and their interests outside of wrestling. Coming to a stop outside of the hotel, the pair thanked the driver for his service and Damian exited the car first on the other side to come around and help her out. She could only laugh to herself about him turning on the charm heavily. When they entered the elevator, Mirah noticed that the taller man didn’t press a button for his floor so she shot him a quizzical look. “What kind of gentleman would I be if I didn’t walk you to your door?” 

With a playful eyeroll she muttered a ‘whatever’ and let the space fill with a comfortable silence. At least she’d be able to get up early for a workout and the night turned out… interesting. A ding broke both of them out of their thoughts as they shuffled off the elevator on the 14th floor. Amirah could feel his eyes studying the swing of her hips while she led him to her room. Abruptly stopping at her door, Damian almost crashed into the back of her too focused on how she managed to walk in those killer shoes effortlessly. “This is me.” She stated, leaning against her door curious to see how the night would end. “Well I think my job here is done. You have arrived safely.” “That reminds me.” Before her friends put out an APB for her, she texted in their group chat that she had mad it back to her room. “Thank you for the escort. I appreciate it.” “It was my pleasure and if you don’t mind,” Damian carefully slid her phone into his hand and input his number. “You know in case I can be of service to you again.” Peering at him through squinted eyes she gave him a drawn out nod. “Riiiiiiiiight.” 

Smirking down at her for the last time, he gently took her hand and raised it to his lips for a kiss on her knuckles while gazing into her cocoa colored eyes. “M’lady, I bid you farewell.” And with that, he turned on his heel and disappeared down the hall in long strides. Entering her hotel room and shutting the door behind her, Amirah collapsed against the door like women in romcoms. Girl what the fuck just happened. Taking in another deep breath, she headed to the bathroom for a much needed shower and to wring her damn panties out. Wait until she tells the girls about what just happened. Before she climbed into the shower to wash off the scent of booze, lust and worn leather, she shot the mysterious man a text of what she meant to say before he left her utterly speechless. 

{Princesa: Goodnight 🖤}

{Papi Chulo: Buenas noches hermosa 🖤}

mirrormirah

mirrormirah Your favorite athlete's favorite athlete 🖤

Liked by archerofinfamy, trinity_fatu and 482,719 others

View all 25,826 comments

trinity_fatu THAT'S MY FRIEND 🥳

⤿ mirrormirah BEST FRIEND!!!! get it right!

biancabelairwwe the finEST

⤿ mirrormirah That's all you bby ❤️

theyluvjeannie80 I know that's right !!!!!

⤿ mirrormirah I luv you boo 😘

archerofinfamy 😈

⤿ mirrormirah 🥰

⤿ bossglowstandard oop 👀👀

jadecargill sexy af 🥵

⤿ mirrormirah trying to get like you 😋

Taglist:

@empressdede @wrestlingprincess80 @whatdoeseverybodywant @alichesmi @reci1996 @2-muchsauce @cyberdejos2 @southerngirl41 @brie-mode-activated @piinklemonad3 @lucidddreamerrr

[bijouxcarys]

Bad News (Roman Reigns x fem!OC)

Masterlist

Description: They told her to stay away. But something about him makes her keep coming back for more.

Word Count: 2.5k

Tags: @octaviastargirl @trippinsorrows @empressdede @thetribalqueen @bigsimperika

@cyberdejos2 @keyaho @heauxvibez (let me know if you want to be tagged in any future Roman fics)

Saturday, May 27th 2023 – Jeddah, Saudi Arabia

It had always been the three of them.

Despite not sharing a father, the sibling bond between Jasmine and Kevin was unshakable. Their shared history spanned so many years that neither could recall a time when it was otherwise. Although he was nearly a decade her senior, the two of them wreaked havoc together like a dynamic duo from Hell. The real transformation came when Sami entered Kevin’s life, escalating their antics to new heights.

Inseparable, irreplaceable, indestructible. Nothing could come between them.

Except… the face of pro wrestling. The one man that Jasmine was incessantly warned against—stay away from him, Jas; he’s not worth the trouble.

Roman fucking Reigns.

Ever loyal to her brother’s and best friend’s advice, she made an earnest attempt to heed their warnings. Attempt being the operative word here.

“Give me a bit of slack, man, I’m trying my best here,” she’d mutter, her face buried in the couch pillows.

“There’s no slack when it comes to that man, Jas. He’s dangerous.”

“He’s a wrestler, not the mafia.”

“Well…”

“Don’t be so dramatic—”

“I’m not. He just has a way of…” Sami shivered slightly, “getting into your head.”

“Yeah, we’re well aware of your little man crush.”

Jasmine was fully aware of her family’s fraught history with Roman and The Bloodline, so it wasn’t unusual for them to vent whenever they had a private moment backstage. They were always careful—God only knew the repercussions if the wrong ears caught wind of their conversations.

“He has kids, doesn’t he?”

“And an ex-wife.”

“Yeah, but kids.”

“What’s your point?”

“…Potent dad nut?”

“Jasmine!”

She understood the gravity of someone overhearing Sami and Kevin. Being a new addition to the main roster afforded her certain privileges that others might not have. However, nothing—absolutely nothing—would compare to the trouble she’d be in if either man discovered her… extracurricular activities.

> Still held up?

Jasmine glanced down at her phone, the text neatly displayed under the name BDU—an alias Roman had adopted from a fan’s moniker for him, “Big Daddy Uce,” circulating on social media.

She hesitated for a moment, thumb hovering over her screen, before typing out her reply.

Just a bit longer. Kevin and Sami are running late.<

Hitting send without a second thought, she sighed to herself. Navigating this bullshit lie was exhausting. The thrill of sneaking around with Roman clashed with the constant fear of those who loved her the most finding out. She glanced at the clock; time was slipping away.

Just then, the door to the locker room inched open, a familiar voice calling inside.

“Jas, you in here?”

“Yep. Just me, Kev, you can come in.”

She swore she felt the contents of her stomach clawing its way up her body when she noticed the stern expression on her brother’s face. Oh, shit, he’s found out. Time to move to Antarctica and live amongst the penguins.

“What’s up?” she asked after clearing her throat and sending him a nonchalant smile.

With a grunt, Kevin flopped down beside her, chewing over his thoughts. “Look… I know you’re trying…” he began slowly, choosing his words carefully. “And I can only interfere so much, and as your big brother, it’s my responsibility to prote—”

“Will you just spit it out already?”

“You really need to stay away from him, Jasmine. A-and it’s not just about us—he’s bad fucking news. I don’t wanna lose you because of all that.”

“I get it, I really do…” Jasmine furrowed her brows, unsure as to why he was spouting the same lecture he’d already given her a million times already. The two of them locked eyes, as if they were trying to see into each other’s thoughts. Jesus, just tell me what you really mean.

“I noticed it, y’know.” Kevin sighed.

“You noticed what?”

“The little smiles you give him whenever he goes past catering, or whenever we just so happen to cross paths before and after a match.”

“Sorry, am I not allowed to smile at people anymore?” Jasmine huffed, reaching down to tighten her bootlace.

“That’s not what I’m saying! But I know you, Jas—I know how you get with guys—”

“What the fuck is that meant to mean?”

“It means you’re a flirt, and so is that asshat,” he stood up, angled over her just to solidify his point.

“And?” she looked up at him, her hands flying out in an act of defence.

Kevin studied her face for a moment, before eventually sighing. “Just… please be careful, okay?”

“Listen,” she stood up, still inches shorter than him, but with the same gusto. “Nothing you’ve said to me about Roman Reigns has gone in one ear and out the other. I get it. You and Sami drill it into my head enough, how could I forget to be careful with him?” Her face softened and she placed her hand on her brother’s arm. “I’m fine, Kev. Really. I’m a big girl, I can handle a 6ft 4 Samoan wrestler, even if it means telling him to fuck off when he steps wrong.”

Kevin rolled his eyes. “Yeah, okay… I’d like to see you square up to him.”

“You know what I mean, idiot. Now, go and do whatever you were doing and stop worrying about me and my wondering eyes.”

Jasmine took the seconds after Kevin’s departure to release the heaviest sigh known to man.

You’re really not making this easy for me, Big Dog.

Giving herself a once over in the mirror, she slipped out of the locker room, making her way through the labyrinthine halls of the arena. The crowd’s distant roar echoed around her, reminding her of just where the fuck she was and the spectacle unfolding just beyond the breeze block walls. The audiences in Jeddah were always loud.

Finally, she reached the private room where she knew Roman was waiting. Knocking softly on the door, she slid in as smoothly as she could, meeting the never-faltering intense gaze of the man she really shouldn’t be seeing right now.

“Jassy,” he drawled, pulling her further into the room and closing the door behind her. “Thought you were gon’ stand me up.”

“I’m here, aren’t I?” she replied, rolling her eyes as he wrapped his girthy arms around her. “Kevin practically cornered me.”

Roman’s expression shifted, a smirk playing on his lips. “Always playin’ the big brother, huh? Thinks he can keep you from me.” He lowered his gaze to her lips, looking over her face with the same shit-eating air of arrogance he displayed in the ring.

“Maybe he should,” she shot back, though her tone was more teasing than anything else. “You’re a bad influence on me.”

He chuckled lowly. “You like bad influences, baby.”

Dramatically sighing, she couldn’t stop herself from smirking herself. “Maybe. Doesn’t mean I have to like you, though.” She poked at his chest in a half-hearted attempt at separating their bodies.

“Oh, you like me, Jasmine. More than you wanna admit.” He leaned into her, breath warm against her ear. “And that’s what drives your pretty ass crazy.”

She huffed, her palms flat against his bare chest, still waiting to be oiled down. “You’re so full of yourself.”

“And you’re full of it if you think you can keep resisting me.” Hands settled on her waist; he tugged her closer. “But I get it, baby, I do… You’re just mad ‘cause you can’t get enough.”

Her lower lip slipped between her teeth as she attempted to suppress a smile. God-be-damned if she even so much as thought about matching the grin on his perfect fucking face.

“You wish.”

“Shh, you gotta stop tryna push me away so much, mama.” To her utter surprise, Roman placed a tentative kiss to her forehead, though the grip he had on her remained possessive. Territorial.

The two stood there for a moment, savouring the rare peace of their stolen time together. But the reality of their situation loomed large, regardless of their circumstances, and Jasmine knew they couldn’t stay in this tiny ass room for long.

Reluctantly, she pulled away completely. “I should go before they start looking for me.”

Roman nodded, though his qualms mirrored her own. “Be safe out there, Jassy. And remember,” he quickly added, causing her to stop in her tracks and half-turn in his direction. “Anythin’ goes wrong over there, you got me.”

She smiled, a genuine, warm smile that reached her eyes. “Always.”

Of course, he couldn’t resist landing a small, teasing, slap to her ass just before she pulled the door open and disappeared for the night. She could still feel the light sting as she made her way down to catering, where she knew Sami and Kevin would be.

“Everything okay?” Sami asked, noticing the distant look in her eyes.

Jasmine nodded, forcing a casual tone. “Yeah, just needed a breather. It’s hot here, don’t you think?” She took a seat opposite the pair, instantly pulling her phone out once she felt the small buzz in her pocket.

> See you later ;)

You’re so sure about that aren’t you?<

> I told you… you can’t stay away

She tucked the phone away with a determined smile, knowing he was right. He always was.

And that proved to be true a lot sooner than she had hoped. Later that evening, as the arena buzzed with the looming anticipation of the night’s main event, Jasmine found herself once again lost in the battle of her morals. Roman and Solo’s tag team match against Sami and Kevin was literally minutes away, and she knew she had to wish him luck. Even if it meant risking another confrontation with her brother.

Taking a deep breath, she made her way to where she knew The Bloodline would be. Distant from everyone else, so she was thankful for that aspect.

Jimmy answered her knock, his eyes narrowing slightly at the sight of her.

“Hey, Jas. What you doin’ here?”

“Just wanted to, uh… wish Roman luck, I guess,” she said, trying to sound casual about her impromptu detour.

The Uso raised an eyebrow but stepped aside to let her in. Inside, the air was thicker than it was in the corridors. It was like the pre-match mental preparation seeped into the ethos. Paul and Solo were over on the couch, both eyeing her with curiosity. And in the very centre of the room, angled towards a mirror as he adjusted his red glove, was Roman.

“Look who decided to show up,” Roman chimed, his voice dripping with playful pride. Sauntering over to her, his wet hair hung at the sides of his face as he angled down to look her in the eye. “Told you, you can’t stay away… You here to give me a good luck charm, baby?”

“Maybe I am,” she crossed her arms and met his gaze head-on. “Not that you need it, Mr. Head of the Table.”

“Ooh,” he chuckled, eyes darkening with that familiar glint. “You know I love it when you call me that.”

Jasmine snorted a small laugh with a swift roll of her eyes. “Don’t get used to it.”

Roman leaned in closer, dropping his voice to that husky whisper she usually only ever heard in their most private moments. “You sure you don’t wanna stick around? Might need a little extra motivation.”

Even though his tone caused a shiver to shoot down her spine, she maintained her composure. “I think you’ll be just fine without me distracting you.”

“You always distract me, Jassy. That’s half the fun.”

Before she could respond, Jimmy interrupted with a grin. “Hey, Uce, you better focus on the damn match. Don’t let Jas here mess with your head.”

Roman shot his cousin a glare. “I got this. Ain’t nothin’ gon’ mess with my head tonight.”

Jasmine shook her head, unable to suppress the amusement that came with every visit to any locker room belonging to The Bloodline. “Alright, alright. Go out there and show them why you’re the Tribal Chief.”

His intense glare softened as he looked back at Jasmine. “You gonna be watchin’?”

“Aren’t I always?” she raised an eyebrow as she made her way to the door.

“As long as you keep acknowledging me, baby, that’s all I need.”

She shot him a grin before closing the door behind her. Oh, I’ll always acknowledge the fuck out of you.

Roman’s domineering presence was palpable, right from the very start of the match. She wasn’t sure if it was just where she watched on from the shadows of Gorilla, but every move he made exuded a confidence in him like never before. But… Kevin and Sami were relentless. They pushed The Bloodline to their limits. And her eyes couldn’t decide where they wanted to be focused. Once again thrown into the back and forth of what outcome she really wanted…

Roman and Solo seemed to have the upper hand at times, but her own family fought back with a determination that left everyone on the edge of their seats, even her.

Eventually, Kevin had Roman alone. Squaring off in the ring. Their rivalry coming to a head in a series of brutal exchanges. A Stunner from Kev, an immediate Spear by Roman. Usually, she could tell which direction a certain match was going. But this? A whole other level.

The climax of the match came in a flurry of action. Solo unleashed a devastating assault on Sami, while Roman engaged Kevin in a battle of wills. The crowd erupted as the evening reached its fever pitch, the finale hanging in the balance.

In a final, dramatic moment, Sami managed to evade Solo’s grasp and tag in Kevin, who launched into a brutal offence against Roman. And despite Roman’s best efforts, Kevin and Sami’s relationship proved too strong. Another Stunner to Roman, followed by a classic Helluva, secured the pinfall that retained her family’s title.

Everyone seemed to explode with cheers. Jasmine couldn’t decide if she was proud of Sami and Kevin for their win, or disappointment that her illegal partner of sorts had actually… lost.

The same engulfed her as she tried her best to celebrate with her brother and best friend backstage. Tried to look happier than she really was. A horrible feeling if there ever was one.

You’re betraying your family; you should be happy!

Then she caught it. Focused, intense eyebrows narrowed down atop eyes that lit up whenever in her presence. Though, this time, approaching was out of the question. Roman passed from afar, followed by Jimmy, Solo, and Paul. His fists clenched at his sides, and his nostrils flared, she held no remorse for him ignoring is surroundings. He was in his head, and she empathised.

However, no amount of losing could stop him from approaching her.

Her phone buzzed as she flopped down onto the bed in her hotel room, snug in a fluffy robe after a hot shower.

> You busy?

Nope<

It took him a while to respond, but once he did, a wide smile overtook her features and she shot up into a seated position.

> Unlock your door and sit on the bed. Don’t fucking move. I’ll be there in 15.

[inkedbydesire]

Jealous (18+)

Jey Uso x Black Fem Reader

Warning: 18+ Content, SMUT, MINORS DO NOT ENTER

Summary: Everybody does it right? But no one ever wants to talk about it. And you damn sure don’t want to be caught doing it. Your boyfriend Joshua Fatu (aka Jey Uso) was supposed to be out of town (like always). His schedule as a Pro Wrestler kept him constantly traveling away from you. You two spent more time away from each other than you did together. But you never complained because to you, he was worth it. But you still had certain ........... needs. Most of the time you fought those needs until you were near him again but on a few other occasions, you allowed yourself to be consumed by them. And tonight was one of those nights. But what happens when Joshua comes home a day earlier than expected and finds you in your bed enjoying yourself...... without him.

Word Count: 4.1k

A/N: I felt like showing Jey a little love. I apologize in advance for any grammar errors or typos.

*************************************************

"I'm a liar sweetie. I cheat on niggas too. (I DO). You probably shouldn't trust me or I'll hurt your feelings boo. I don't wanna be here but my ex won't take me back so my broken ass is here small talking over apps."  

You let out an audible laugh even though you'd already seen this scene over 100 times. But no matter how many times you've binged Insecure due to it being one of your comfort shows, Issa's antics never failed to put a smile on your face. You shook your head at her nonsense before averting your eyes to your phone. You picked it up in hopes to have received a message from your boyfriend whom you messaged over 30 minutes ago telling him how much you missed him. But sadly as you looked down at your screen, there was nothing. It was currently 1:05 am so you figured he was most likely sleeping in his hotel room after a long day of press and performing in his wrestling event.

This was a weekly occurrence for you guys so this routine was familiar. But being familiar with something doesn't make it any easier. You still missed him terribly when he was on the road. When you met Joshua over 6 months ago, he was very upfront about his lifestyle before things got serious. His career kept him constantly traveling to different cities almost weekly so it was hard for him to lay down a lasting foundation. This had been a problem for him in previous relationships. He told you that he didn't want to end up hurting anyone else or himself so he had sworn off relationships for a while. You two were only supposed to have had a situationship type of thing. It was just supposed to have been two people enjoying each other's company.

But real feelings always have a way of showing up uninvited. Before you knew it you two had fallen for each other. It took you by surprise the most because you never expected to fall so deeply for a man you met in a Waffle House on a drunken night out with your girls. After a long honest talk, you and Joshua decided to try at a relationship even with all of the obstacles you both knew would be in front of you.

But truthfully, the only real obstacle was time. That was something you were already privy to before going in so you never complained. But that didn't stop you from missing the hell out of him anytime he was away. The longing grew more intense when the sun was down and tonight was no different. You were laying here wide awake rewatching Insecure with nothing but Joshua Fatu on your mind. You craved him tonight in a way that was hard to ignore.

And boy did you try.

Maybe it was because you were ovulating due to your pending time of the month. Or maybe it was just because you loved him. But whatever it was it was unbearable.

Joshua would be back in town tomorrow and would be more than willing to satisfy your needs. You knew that. But tonight...... you just couldn't wait that long. Pushing aside your comforter you got out of bed and walked over to your dresser. You opened the drawer that contained your underwear and rummaged through it for a few seconds. It didn't take long for your fingers to wrap around what you were seeking. With your rose in your hand, you retreated to your bed and quickly climbed in.

God, please close your eyes you thought to yourself before reaching over to your nightstand and grabbing your MacBook. You needed a little help getting in the mood and you knew just what would do it.

You clicked around on your laptop before reaching the private folder you were looking for. You hit play on the file then placed your laptop beside you as you slid down onto your back.

"Why are we recording this"  You heard your own voice coming from your laptop followed by the sound of you giggling.

"For fun ... for memories" Joshua's voice answered back.

Now, you weren't crazy enough to let any man get you on camera. That was one of your golden rules. But you did however mutually agree with Joshua to audio record a few of your steamy sessions. You thought it was harmless fun and now you were grateful you had them saved for moments like this since you weren't that into watching porn. You’d rather close your eyes and listen to one of your and Joshua's audios and mentally travel back to that moment.

As you heard the sound of you and Joshua kissing you pulled the oversized shirt, that oddly enough belonged to him, up and slid out of your panties. You kicked them the rest of the way off with your feet as you got more comfortable.

"I been waiting to taste you all damn day baby girl" you heard Joshua's voice say followed by the sound of him lapping up your juices. Your body shuddered at the memory of his talented tongue as you felt an urgent throb build between your inner thighs. You clicked on your rose while you pulled your legs apart. As you reached down to please yourself, for a fleeting moment you wished that Joshua was there.

But unbeknownst to you, he was only a few minutes from your apartment. In a rare turn of events, he was able to travel home a day earlier from his wrestling event than he had in mind. When he arrived back in the city nearly an hour ago, he dropped by his apartment, freshened up, and got right back on the road headed your way. He missed you fiercely and knew you had to be feeling the same way.

He wanted to call and tell you all about it but he thought surprising you with his sudden presence would be better since he rarely got the chance to do so. It pained him to ignore your message about missing him a little while ago but he didn't want to spoil the surprise. But he had a few ways in mind on how he would make it up to you.

Pulling into your apartment complex he quickly found his regular parking spot. He turned his engine off and then grabbed the duffle bag that contained a few day's worth of clothes knowing he would be staying with you for the next couple of days. He damn near jogged up to your apartment powered by his readiness to see you. When he got outside your door he put the code into the lockbox that contained your spare key. He used it to unlock your front door and then returned it to where he found it. He put his hand on your doorknob and quietly eased into your apartment locking the door behind him. He figured you might be asleep right now and only planned on waking you after he slid into your bed and wrapped you in his arms.

He dropped his duffel bag near your sofa and lightly walked towards your bedroom. As he neared your door he heard something that immediately made him stop in his tracks. He leaned his ear towards your slightly cracked door thinking that he was hearing things.

He listened for a few seconds.

No, he wasn't tripping. Those definitely were the sounds of your moans. He knew that like the lyrics of his favorite song.

Beyond curious he cautiously pushed your door open just a little further. Clearly, you were preoccupied and he didn't think you would notice and you didn't. He was able to gain a full view of your bed and what you were doing on it. You were so wrapped up in chasing your climax that the figure looking at you through the slit in your door went unseen. Through the glow of your tv and laptop, he watched your chest heave up and down and your legs shake as you pressed the rose he didn't even know you owned against your clit.

Joshua traveled so much that he figured you had to do something to hold yourself over until he got back but he never thought he'd be witnessing it. He listened to your moans as he watched your body jerk and twitch in a way he thought only he was capable of doing.

Despite the growing bulge in his pants that he had to reach down to adjust, he found that the sight filled him with unwarranted jealousy. Here he was rushing to get back to you and you didn't seem to be missing him at all. In fact, it looked like he was the last thing on your mind. He knew that it was selfish of him to expect you to wait for him to fulfill your sexual needs but part of him wished you did. If anyone or anything was going to make you shake and moan like that he only wanted it to be him. He felt like it was his job and right now you were giving it away.

As he kept his eyes on you he fought extremely hard against the urge to burst into your room to ruin your moment. He knew that you might be agitated or even mad but he would make it up to you by making you cum countless times like he was known to do. And that would set everything straight.

He hesitated for a long while but ultimately with reluctance decided against it.

Taking a step away from your door he waited until he heard the high-pitched moan of you cumming before he walked back towards your front door. Unlocking it again he grabbed the doorknob opening and closing it louder to get your attention. He had plans to bring up what he saw but not just yet. 

Your eyes jolted open from your state of bliss at the sound. Still feeling the effects of your climax you sat up as quick as you could manage and reached over and clicked on the lamp beside your nightstand.

"IT'S ME." you surprisingly heard your boyfriend Joshua's voice yell. You were relieved because, for a split second there, you thought it was an intruder. Joshua was not supposed to be showing up to your apartment tonight.

The distance between your front door and bedroom wasn't that far so you had no time to find and put your panties back on. They were somewhere tangled in your comforter and sheets. But you did have time to slide your rose underneath your pillow, throw your comforter across your lap, and close your laptop before Joshua neared your door.

"Hey baby........ how are you here?" you asked him as he entered your room. You knew that he had one more night away from you so you were a little confused. But maybe there was a change in plans that you didn't know anything about.

But the hows became irrelevant as your heart swelled at the sight of the man you loved.

You wanted so badly to jump into his arms but your legs were still weak from what you were doing no longer than 5 minutes ago. You didn't want to risk wobbling or falling. That would definitely tip off to Joshua that you were in here up to no good. And you didn't want him to know that you were just in here masturbating. It seemed immature but you would be so ashamed if he found out.

You thanked God that he didn't show up to your apartment just a few minutes earlier or he would've caught you right in the middle of the act.

You pushed those thoughts aside as you watched him step out of the Nike slides he had on before walking over to your bed and standing there.

"You not happy to see me?" He asked you. The way it came out sounded like he had a little bit of an attitude. You were clueless on why he would have one with you so you ignored it and chalked it up to you over analyzing the situation because of what he almost caught you doing. And you knew he was most likely questioning your happiness to see him because you didn't dive into his arms like usual. On any other day, you would've been out of your bed meeting him in the living room.

"I'm always happy to see you, Josh." You answered him with a reassuring smile. You couldn't physically show him right now so you had to choose the right words.

"Umm .....  what you doing up this late though?" He asked you.

"Couldn't sleep." You responded.

"So what you been doing to pass the time?" He asked squinting his eyes at you a little.

"I've been watching Insecure.....  like always" You answered him jokingly as you pointed towards your TV where Issa's crazy life was still playing out on your screen.

"That's all?" Joshua asked while raising his brows at you.

As your eyes remained locked on his you weirdly started to feel like you were under interrogation. You searched your brain but couldn't figure out what for. But it definitely seemed like Joshua was trying to get something out of you.

What though?

The only other thing you were doing before he showed up felt too personal and embarrassing to say out loud so you had no plans on disclosing it to him.

"Yep.... that's pretty much all," you replied to him lying while you shrugged your shoulders. Joshua stared at you for a moment longer before walking over to the side of the bed that you were on.

"That's funny 'cause that's not what I saw." He stated as he sat down near you.  His words caused your heart to sink to the pit of your stomach but you had to keep your composure.

"And what did you see?" you asked him already feeling like you knew the answer but needing the confirmation before you started freaking out. Without immediately responding Joshua just looked into your eyes with a smirk and it all started making sense. You felt like you were being interrogated earlier because you were. Joshua already knew the answer to everything he was asking you because he already knew what you had been up to.

You wondered how in the hell did he know though ....

After a few seconds of shuffling things around in your brain, you put two and two together and figured Joshua must've come into your apartment a whole lot earlier than he made known. You were so consumed with pleasuring yourself that your apartment could've been on fire and you wouldn't have moved a muscle. So you damn sure didn't hear him entering your apartment or coming near your door. You noted to yourself that you needed to be more attentive the next time or at least tackle the basics like closing and locking your damn bedroom door. But you weren't expecting Joshua tonight so you didn't think you needed to be that cautious.

"I didn't even know you had one of those things," Joshua said bringing you out of your thoughts as he reached beside you and started running his hand over your comforter. When he didn't find what he was looking for there he then moved towards your pillows.

"Okay." you quickly said while grabbing his hand before it made contact with your rose. It clicked in your mind that that's what he was feeling around for.

"If you already knew what I was doing .... why you come in here like Inspector Gadget?" you asked him.

The thought of him seeing you in that intimate moment was sending waves of crippling embarrassment through you. Joshua was your boyfriend and had seen you in way more compromising positions but this whole ordeal was still awkward as hell to you. Discovering that something you thought you were doing in private wasn’t as hidden as you thought is a deeply embarrassing feeling.

But you still wanted to be mature about everything.

"I just wanted to see what you would say. No wonder you in here acting like you didn't miss me. You got me replaced." he said.

You searched his face for more amusement because he was clearly getting a kick out of all of this but to your surprise, he actually looked rather serious.

"Wait ... you accusing me of replacing you with an object?" You asked him after you two silently stared at each other for a few minutes. This realization overshadowed any embarrassment you felt about the situation. Now you understood why he seemed to have had an attitude with you when he first entered your room. He saw you with your rose and got jealous. It was taking everything in you not to laugh in his face.

"It's okay for you to enjoy yourself when I'm not here. I understand it. But I'm just saying you were enjoying yourself a little too much." He stated still serious as a heart attack which made it a lot harder to contain your laughter.

"Josh you're not being replaced." You chuckled as you placed your hand on his shoulder to reassure him not believing you actually had to do so. You couldn't believe that this was a conversation you two were actually having.

"I only pull it out when I miss you and I can't stand it anymore," you told him.

"I don't think you understand how badly I want you when you're not here Josh" you added with honesty as your eyes locked on each other's. Yeah, there were certain things you could do to try to pacify your desire for Joshua but nothing compared. So for him to feel a way about an object was bonkers to you. But at the same time, you found it kind of cute.

"I'm here now." Joshua responded to you.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" you asked him playfully as the atmosphere in the room shifted.

"Let me show you," he stated as he reached down grabbed your leg, and pulled you closer to him on the bed.

"My bad for coming in here tripping but it was because I missed you, baby girl." He admitted before leaning over and placing a small kiss on your forehead. You smiled at him as he moved down and pecked your nose before moving to your mouth. You two then fell into a kiss that had the passion of two people who hadn't seen each other in years rather than a few days. You relished in the moment knowing you had to make the most of any time you got with him. That was the basics of your relationship. Every single moment counted because he would be on the road again in the blink of an eye.

As Joshua's hands roamed all over your body he tilted his head down and planted soft kisses on your neck. As he tossed your comforter aside he moved back up to slip his tongue into your mouth.

A couple of intoxicating minutes later, Joshua broke the kiss by standing up leaving you needing way more from him. He then posted up on the side of your bed and you giggled as he reached down and pulled you by your ankle to position you in front of him. You then had the pleasure of watching him as he pulled off his hoodie and shirt all in one swift motion. As you took in how absolutely fine he was your inner thighs throbbed needily. Sometimes all it took was just looking at him to leave you soaking.

"Lay back for me Y/N." He requested and you eagerly did as you were told without any hesitation. You scooted up on your bed and laid back in front of him as he positioned himself between your legs. Staring down at you while running his tongue across his lips, he placed one of his hands on your thigh. He slowly trailed his hand up glazing your clit with his thumb which made your legs involuntarily jolt because you were still sensitive from what you were doing earlier. He ran his thumb up and down your clit teasing you for what felt like ages. It made your wetness grow but it also frustrated you. Then he left you feeling desperate and depraved again as he took his attention off of you for a split second to rid himself of his pants and boxers.

He held his dick in one of his hands while he pushed your legs further apart with the other as he repositioned himself. You sucked in a sharp breath as he ran the tip of his dick up and down your entrance coating it in your wetness. Again, he did that for what felt like ages while you laid there desperately needing more.

"Josh" you breathed out his name as he lifted his dick and tapped it down on your swollen clit.

"Please" you urged him as he repeated the same motion with more pressure making you squirm and reach down to grab hold of his wrist.

"Please what?" He asked you while flicking his eyes up to yours. You knew that he knew full well what you wanted but he loved to play this game. He loved to get you a position where you were practically begging for his dick before he gave it to you. And each time you would feed into his ego.

"Fuck me, Josh .... please" you begged with a pout giving him what you knew he was seeking. He smiled down at you and before you could say another word or prepare your self he suddenly gripped you by your hip and sank his full length into you. But you soon found out that Joshua wasn't done with playing with you yet as he pulled out of you and went back to teasing and tapping your clit with the tip of his dick. You laid there beyond frustrated but felt satisfied when he slipped into your wetness again.

"Fuck" you muttered lowly as he eased in and out of you slowly making your body shudder with every stroke.

"Feels good baby?" He asked you as he kept that same deliberate speed while his dick continuously glazed against your g-spot. You nodded at him as you gently bit down on your bottom lip.

"Say it," he told you as he slipped in and out of your wetness.

"It f-feels good Josh. It feels so fucking good." You expressed to him as you felt pleasure filled knots building in the pit of your stomach. Closing your eyes you focused on trying to hold off climaxing as you grew wetter for Joshua as his speed quickened. Your eyes only flew open again when you heard the familiar buzzing of your rose. You looked up at Joshua wondering when and how he managed to reach over and locate it without your knowledge. But you were so drunk on feeling him inside of you that your mind was completely preoccupied.

"W-what are you doing?" you were barely able to ask him as he didn't miss a beat fucking you. His still plunged in and out of your entrance as he held your rose in the hand he wasn't using to hold your legs apart.

"I wanna try something." He responded.

"Try wh-" you began to ask but were completely cut off by Joshua bringing your rose down onto your clit. Now you could handle your rose on its own but combined with Joshua's dick rocking in and out of you, you almost started seeing stars at the sensation.

"J-Josh ... wait ....oooh fuck ..." you moaned out as you reached down and attempted to push his hand away not being able to handle the pleasure. Your attempt failed miserably as Joshua didn't budge. He continued to pound in and out of you as he used your rose on your clit.

"I c-can't J-Josh" you whined out to him as your toes curled and your legs violently shook. You felt tears welling up as your breathing became shallow and your heartbeat accelerated.

"Yes you can ... you got it baby"  Joshua encouraged you as he pounded deeper and deeper into your wetness. You tried to take it but the feeling was too powerful for you to comprehend causing your climax to hit you like a tidal wave out of nowhere. All kinds of profanities left your mouth as it felt like you were having an out of body experience.

Joshua was satisfied as he watched you lose yourself as you squirted cum all over his dick. That's when he knew he could use your rose to his advantage. 

[could-they-be-a-pro-wrestler]

Wrestling lore is really funny to explain to non-wrestling people, mainly because you have to suspend your disbelief much more than you would do for stuff like anime or superhero fiction. Think of it like this; it’s normal for a shonen anime protagonist or a superhero to demonstrate they have superpowers usually because it’s established early on. That also goes for other parts of the lore, such as the world-building, the MacGuffins, and the history of that world.

But in wrestling, characters and storylines change all the time and are ongoing (I’ve seen the term “longform storytelling” used). So you end up with HUGE leaps in logic, such as:

1) There’s a supernatural being from hell who temporarily became a biker gang member, and then went back to being a supernatural being from hell

2) There’s a male model who gave out grooming tips who eventually evolved into Captain America/Homelander.

3) Triple H committed burglary on camera. He invaded Randy Orton’s home, beat him up, destroyed some of his property, and then threw Orton out the window. But it’s all fine because he’s the good guy, so he’s still employed by the WWE.

4) Dominik Mysterio is beefing with his dad, who literally fought for child custody of him in a wrestling match. Keep that in mind anytime you see Dominik not getting along with Rey.

5) Edge got sent to hell, but is okay now.

6) CM Punk was once a cult leader, but stopped doing that after he lost his hair. Then he became the opposite, as in he turned into an anti-authority rebel.

7) A lot of wrestlers, such as Sheamus and Shawn Spears, apparently used to work at WWE as background staff/security guards.

8) Real life famous music artist Bad Bunny is part of the lore and he actually beat a world champion (Damian Priest) in a match. And I don’t mean Bad Bunny is playing a character. In the WWE lore, Bad Bunny is playing himself.

(Feel free to add on any other leaps in logic from pro-wrestling)

[thistledropkick]

Last year, Kasai Jun was interviewed as part of the interview project DEATH, which interviews various people about death in order to find a better understanding of how to live and appreciate life.

I thought it was a fascinating interview, so I decided to translate it.

Please go visit the original interview - the photography accompanying it is absolutely gorgeous.

Also, please don't repost this whole translation elsewhere. If you want to quote an excerpt of my translation for something, please make sure to also credit the original team behind this interview and link back to the original interview.

Deathmatch Fighter Kasai Jun - 4/27/2022

“It’s not a deathmatch until you return home alive” The reason this 47 year old Charisma Wrestler continues to shed blood in the ring

Within pro wrestling, there is a genre called “deathmatch.”

An extreme set of rules that allows deadly weapons and has no disqualifications. Brawls with fluorescent light tubes, and dives onto barbed wire boards. Without hesitation, wrestlers stab their opponents in the head with fistfuls of bamboo skewers. When wound-covered bodies violently collide, shards of glass and sprays of blood shower the ringside seats.

Upon first seeing it, surely everyone thinks “Why are these people hurting each other like this?” “What the hell am I looking at?”

This is the world of the man known as “Charisma,” professional Wrestler Kasai Jun of the independent promotion Pro Wrestling Freedoms.

In November of 2009, he had a “razorblade board plus alpha deathmatch” against Ito Ryuji in Tokyo’s Korakuen Hall. Kasai, 35 years old at the time, dove from the second floor balcony, a fall of 6 meters, onto a table, aiming for his opponent Ito.

Afterwards they continued to fight with various weapons, in a match that concluded 15 seconds before the 30 minute time limit. That year, this match was awarded the Best Bout award. And Kasai, the winner of that match, became a living legend overnight.

12 years have passed since then. Kasai is now 47 years old, and he continues to rule over the world of deathmatch wrestling. Under the weight of many literal life-or-death battles, Kasai’s body no longer moves the way it did when he was young. Even so, why does he continue to set foot in such a dangerous place?

We asked “Charisma of Deathmatch” - a man who makes the crowd go mad in the space between life and death - about his views on death and on life.

Desiring to truly feel alive

- Normally, people try to avoid pain and suffering. Kasai, why do you continue to shed blood in the ring?

Hahaha. From an outside perspective, you must really wonder “Why do you keep doing something so painful” huh? That’s a normal way to feel. But from the wrestler’s perspective, it’s completely different.

In your normal daily life, do you ever feel like “Ahh, it’s so glorious to be alive”? You’d almost never unconsciously blurt out something like that.

But in a life or death battle in a deathmatch ring, after you step down from that ring, that’s exactly what you feel. “Ahh, I’m alive. I’m so grateful to be alive.” Because of that, I can’t quit.

Mountain climbers and stuntmen probably feel like this too, don’t they. Stepping into a situation where their life could end, and returning home safely. I wonder if they’re searching for that feeling of being “truly alive.”

This feeling is passed on to the audience too. Fans often tell me “Watching Kasai Jun’s deathmatch gives me the strength to continue forward.”

They say things like, “I’m being bullied at school so I wasn’t going to go any more, but now I feel like I can keep going.” Or, “It’s exhausting to keep going to work, but after seeing Kasai persevere while shedding blood in the ring, I can persevere and keep going to work.”

Recently I can’t do this much because of covid, but in the past when I’d sell merch, fans would often say things like this to me.

Because of this, it seems to me that deathmatch wrestling is simultaneously a way for wrestlers to feel truly alive, and a way for those who watch it to feel more positively about living.

- Because of the sensational way “death” is shown in the ring?

Probably, yeah. Because it looks like we’re doing something really painful.

But don’t get me wrong. We aren’t in a particular hurry to die. And we aren’t wasting our lives either. What I always say is, “It’s not a deathmatch until you return alive.”

[Note from me - this phrase (生きて帰るまでがデスマッチ) is a play on a well-known Japanese phrase 家に帰るまでが遠足 “The field trip isn’t over until we return home.” This started as something a teacher would say to students in their care, and Kasai has altered it into his motto towards both himself and other deathmatch wrestlers.]

- It’s not a deathmatch until you return alive.

If you get in a ring where you might die or get seriously injured, and you do die, or you do get seriously injured, you’re no different than a rank amateur, right? But a guy who dives into a deadly dangerous situation and returns from that ring unharmed, he’s the absolute greatest and the absolute coolest.

Like a stuntman, right? If he returns home alive, people say “amazing,” but if he dies, he’s no longer a pro.

At 35 years old, his view on life did a complete 180 during a match

But, when I was young, I thought about it completely differently. I never thought “I’m grateful to be alive.” In the ring, I did dangerous stuff and defeated my opponents. I just thought of it as my job.

The more dangerous stuff I did, the more people said “Kasai is amazing!” That felt really great. Every time I stepped into the right I thought, if something goes wrong and I die I guess that’s how it goes. I thought “Deathmatches should be a memento mori.”

- What caused such a big change in your values?

That match against Ito Ryuji in Korakuen, in 2009. It changed my mental state by 180 degrees.

The truth is, I went into that match thinking “This is my last match before I retire.” Because it was my last match, I would do everything I wanted to do. Win or lose, I went into the ring thinking “I’ll retire.”

But during the match, my feelings completely changed. I thought “If I quit like this, I’ll be half-dead.” There’s nothing else I want to do, and I’ve never felt joy like this anywhere else. It was just too much fun.

So, after the match ended with 15 seconds remaining, I announced my decision to continue wrestling. “I was thinking of retiring but, I’m gonna keep going.” That’s what changed.

- Since your values have changed so significantly from when you thought it’d be good to die in the ring, what’s your “ideal death” now?

Spending the day with my family as I always do, watching tv with an after-dinner drink as I always do, getting comfy in my futon as I always do, and passing away. That’s the best death, isn’t it.

I’ve said it before but, people who say “It’s my ambition to die in the ring” are just trying to look cool. For a pro, it all comes down to returning home alive. And so, I believe that when the life of Kasai Jun the human being comes to an end, Kasai Jun the wrestler will die as well. I want to be a pro wrestler until I die. That’s how I feel now.

When I was young, I thought the best time for a wrestler to retire was when he could still move, when people would say “It’s a shame, because there’s still more he can do.” But if that’s true, I’ve already missed my best time to retire.

Since I’ve come this far, maybe it’s better to keep doing this until my death. Since around the time I turned 40, I started thinking this way.

Gaining years = leveling up. I’ll reach my peak just before death.

- Since you’ve been doing this for so long, it’s inevitable that your body has become weaker. Kasai, how have you dealt with aging?

The word “elderly” is a concept created by human beings, isn’t it? Since that’s the case, I believe it’s something we can absolutely overcome. I don’t think increasing in age is the same as becoming elderly.

Look, it’s true that my physical stamina has decreased and my muscles have gotten weaker than they were when I was younger. But my will and my spirit have continued to grow. Instead of just breaking even, I think I’ve leveled up. 47 years old is level 47. I now see growing older as a positive, like leveling up every year.

Because of that, my peak has yet to come. I’ll reach my peak just before I die. I’ll be at my strongest just before my death. That’s the ideal I envision for myself.

There was a time when I felt insecure about my age. When I hit my mid 30s, I hated that my body was becoming weaker.

But then, while drinking at home and watching a documentary on TV about (rock musician) Yazawa Eikichi, I realized something. “If you think about it, uncool young people are uncool, and cool guys are cool even if they’re old.” Since then, my way of thinking changed. I started calling getting older “leveling up” at around that time.

[Note from me: Suzuki Minoru also refers to getting one year older as “leveling up” in the exact same way. They are friends, so I assume Suzuki got it from Kasai.]

- I'm surprised that a pro athlete who uses his body as a weapon would think of aging in that way.

Pro wrestling and deathmatch are unique among sports. Unlike say, track and field, or swimming, it isn’t a competition where every second counts. I can’t move the way I could when I was young any more, but through my facial expressions, pauses during matches, and so on, I have many ways to express myself.

A guy can be handsome, macho, with great muscles, and completely suck as a wrestler. In contrast, a guy like me who’s ugly, short, and middle-aged, can get support from the fans. It’s a completely different genre, and that’s what makes pro wrestling so interesting.

- What about your emotional struggles? In your documentary film you said you were having some difficulty maintaining your motivation, which you described as “Deathmatch Erectile Dysfunction”

Yeah, well, that can definitely be a problem. When you’re young, you’ve just got piles of hopes and dreams and things you want to do. But as the years go on, and as you accomplish those things, you can kind of get lost.

What’s helped me increase my motivation has been the existence of people who make me think “I absolutely don’t wanna lose to this guy” or “I don’t want this guy to take all the best stuff for himself” In my case, for example, that’s been (fellow PW Freedoms deathmatch wrestler) Takeda Masashi. Or, although he’s from another organization, New Japan Pro Wrestling’s El Desperado.

That’s why for the past 3 or 4 years, I’ve been asking people to “stimulate me.” I want intimidating people to keep approaching me. Well, on the other hand, if they take the most delicious part for themselves, that’s a problem.

A fear of death led to a “selfish life”

- Incidentally, perhaps it’s too late at this point, but do you worry about being injured or dying?

I said it already but, “It’s not a deathmatch until you return alive.” Since I’m a pro, I have the skills required to do this without death or injury. 

But, it’d be a lie to say “I’m not afraid.” Even now, for several days before a match I get so stressed that I can’t sleep. Despite how I look, I get plenty scared. Much of my life has been driven by a strong fear of death.

- How do you mean?

It sounds silly, but when I was in grade school I believed in “The Prophecies of Nostradamus.” Have you ever heard of it? “In the year 1999, all of humanity will be destroyed.” Every night I shook with fear in my futon, thinking that my life would end at the age of 24.

Propelled by that fear, I concluded, “If the earth is gonna get destroyed anyway, I should quit studying. Instead I should use the rest of my remaining lifetime to do stuff that I like.” I completely quit studying, and instead spent all my time watching pro wrestling, which I loved.

Conversely, my fear of death also led me to become a pro wrestler. After graduating high school, I got a job in Tokyo as a security guard, but I gave into temptation and visited brothels daily. One day I happened to be reading a magazine with an HIV checklist inside, and almost every item applied to me.

At that time, I still thought “AIDS = death” so I thought “Oh, this is AIDS.” “Oh, this is how I’ll die.”

Luckily, when I got tested the result was negative, but after preparing myself for death, I thought “I really should do what I want” and knocked on the door of Big Japan Pro Wrestling. My life has always been influenced in this way.

- I get the impression that many wrestlers die at an early age. Since then, your fear must have increased.

Nah, that’s not really true. I’m surprisingly practical about the deaths of others. I just accept it, like “That’s the kind of life you lived.” I suspect my fear of death isn’t a fear of death itself, but a fear of becoming nothing.

- A fear of becoming nothing.

I’m no (actor and spiritualist) Tanba Tetsuro, but if after you die, you go to the spirit world, and cross the Sanzu river, that’s not all that scary is it? I wouldn’t go so far as to say “it’s fine if I die” but there’s some kind of hope or meaning. But if “After death, you become complete nothingness” “After death you feel no joy or sadness” I think that’s really scary.

But these days, I don’t experience that fear of death as much as I used to. If after this interview a dump truck hits me and I die, I wouldn’t have any regrets. I could say I did what I wanted to do.

Pro wrestling is a business where you depend on your popularity with an audience, but I’ve never tried to flatter the audience to get sales or support, or thought about how to increase my popularity. Ultimately, Kasai Jun puts himself first. I’m my own number one.

To die without regrets is to win at life

- But, if someone wanted to imitate your way of life, I think most people would be profoundly afraid of not getting by financially, or of being rejected by society. Why do you think you remain stoic in the face of such fears?

What’s there worth imitating about me? If you’re selfish like me and you can change it, you should want to!

But, this is probably related to that “fear of becoming nothing” I mentioned earlier. Ever since I was little, I’ve thought stuff like “This whole world isn’t real” and “Maybe all of this is just a dream.”

Nothing in this world is certain. Since that’s the case, all you have are your own body and your own feelings. In short, I don’t believe in anything but myself, so I put myself first.

- So in order to “feel truly alive” you throw yourself into the painful world of deathmatch wrestling, which leads us back to where we started.

That’s right. I guess you could say that pain is the only thing I believe.

But when I was young, I did understand the fear of not making enough money to survive. When I was around 30 and my son had just been born, I was seized by that fear.

Really, I was broke, and I couldn’t even pay into the National Pension Fund like I was supposed to, so I went to the ward office and said “I do intend to pay, so please wait a little.” I thought to myself, “Living is so expensive and so difficult.”

- A deathmatch fighter scary enough to quiet a crying child, with such an everyday problem.

Three years after my debut, when I was around 27, I was badly injured. I quit Big Japan, and after a year’s absence, I transferred to a different group called Zero-One.

Zero-One was founded by ex-New Japan Pro Wrestler Hashimoto Shinya, and the pay was good compared to Big Japan, and they held a lot of shows, so I could wrestle frequently. The environment there was very pleasant.

But, due to the policy of the organization, I couldn’t do the deathmatches that I love. During that time as a “salaryman wrestler,” I survived, but I think deathmatch fighter Kasai Jun, pro wrestler Kasai Jun, was completely dead.

“I really should do the pro wrestling I want to do,” I thought, and I quit Zero-One, and persisted with the pro wrestling that I love. Maybe that’s why I feel like I can now “die without regrets.”

Ultimately, if you live your own life as you wish, and think “I have no regrets” when you die, you win. Maybe people today have lost sight of the essence of what it means to live. It’s fine to work hard at your job, but if you’re spending every day miserably, is that kind of life really okay with you?

I’d rather live for 20 years and laugh every day than live for 100 years and never smile. If you’ve lived for 100 years and never laughed, that’s the same as being dead, isn’t it?

~

写真：本永創太 ~ Photographer: Motonaga Souta

執筆：鈴木陸夫 ~ Author: Suzuki Atsuo

編集：日向コイケ（Huuuu）~ Editor: Hinata Koike (Huuuu)

[poshtearexdoodles]

Pro wrestler Jasper!

I've always liked the idea that post-SUF and getting her counselling her getting into pro wrestling would be like. The most perfect thing for her ever. Cause it involves fighting, and being over dramatic and extra as all hell. Which is. Jasper to a T. I think she'd have the time of her life with it.

So here she is as the Tangerine Tiger!

[fostersffff]

hey foster what the hell is kinnikuman about

Kinnikuman is the story of Japan's Worst Superhero turned Universal Savior, that also (by my current understanding) laid the foundations for what people think of when they think of "A Shonen Series".

It started in 1979 as a gag manga written by two college kids collectively known as Yudetamago who really love pro wrestling, and trucked along for a while doing one-off chapters about a "superhero" named Kinnikuman, who is actually the lost prince of Planet Kinniku (hold onto that for later). They introduce a couple supporting characters here, most notably Terryman (named for professional wrestler Terry Funk), a superhero from the Southern United States, who becomes friends with him after Kinnikuman does his first genuinely heroic act in the series: punching Terryman for charging a kid money to save his dad from a monster (this completely changes Terryman forever).

Sometime later, they hit the first actual story arc: the Superman (Chojin) Olympics, which is where the series first struck upon the winning formula of "what if a bunch of dudes with weird superpowers do professional wrestling moves on each other". It still has it's gag manga sensibilities- Kinnikuman winds up winning all of his matches via shenanigans- but in hindsight it's pretty clear they realized story arcs about tournaments are a really good idea.

After a short arc about Kinnikuman going on a world tour to defend his title (which the anime speedran because they knew what was up), they go back into the Chojin Olympics, which is where the series really seems to have found its footing by still being comedic, but also realizing they can get serious for more compelling action. For example:

Ramenman- a horrifically racist caricature of a savage Chinaman- goes from constantly talking about noodles and China's 4000 Year Tradition and how much he loves murder to forming a mentor-mentee relationship with the son of a chojin he murdered during the previous Olympics, before being put into a vegetative state by arc antagonist Warsman (he gets better). Important to note that Ramenman was and still is one of the most popular characters in this series, easily.

Warsman's manager is revealed to be Robin Mask, the former Chojin Olympics champion Kinnikuman defeated through shenanigans, and who trained Warsman with the specific purpose of getting revenge on Kinnikuman.

Kinnikuman then goes on to defeat Warsman, not with goofy antics, but tapping into his Burning Inner Strength (literally, a Hot Blooded Shonen Power Up) and inventing the Kinniku Buster, a move so cool that professional wrestlers in real life started using it.

And from this point it was basically off to the races with story arcs about a bunch of fucked up dudes who want to wrestle Kinnikuman and/or his friends, including:

Chojin who sold their souls to Satan for strength

Chojin who sold their souls to Satan for strength and stole the source of all Chojin strength in the universe

The source of all Chojin strength in the universe

Space God Chojin

Other Kinnikumans claiming to be the true heirs to the throne of Planet Kinniku (remember what I said about him being a lost prince)

This is when the original series ended, and then about a decade later they launched Kinnikuman Nisei, a Next Generation sequel about Kinnikuman's son. This is most notable for the 4Kids adaptation, Ultimate Muscle- especially seeing as subs for Kinnikuman Nisei basically don't exist, and a third season of episodes was produced specifically to be dubbed.

Years after that, Yudetamago relaunched Kinnikuman in 2011, taking place in the time between the end of the original series and Kinnikuman Nisei and even picking up the chapter/volume numbers, which is still ongoing and quite well received, and just recently started being adapted into a new anime series, the zeroth episode of which speedruns all the important bits from the original series (recapped above), notably leaning more towards action and drama than comedy.

I started checking it out after the new anime started up, and- unless I'm missing something that came before it, which is certainly possible- it's kind of crazy how foundational it feels to everything while not really feeling outdated (except for occasional contemporary-to-the-70's/80's-jokes). New villain(s) show up with some fucked up powers, the heroes have to muster their strength to either outwit or overpower them (or both), more than likely in some kind of tournament-style format, and more likely than not Kinnikuman will make some new friends along the way. In the same way that people often say that you don't know how much Japanese media has the DNA of tokusatsu/Kamen Rider until you actually watch it, Kinnikuman feels like that for Shonen Jump specifically.

I would actually heartily recommend the checking out new anime, again because that zeroth episode gets you primed with everything you need to know about the series and jumps right into "DUDES WITH FUCKED UP SUPERPOWERS WRESTLING".

Oh also critically important to note: that's not his face, it's a mask, and he's the the most beautiful, handsome man in history underneath, but by the laws of the Kinniku Clan neither he nor anyone else in his clan can show their face, which is why they all look Like That.

[ssruis]

Also catch the thief was just really funny.

> Luka shows up like hiiiiii guys what’s up… oh there’s a thief ok emu can I borrow you for a second :) takes emu up on a watch tower & emu uses her special Emu Eagle Eyes pink creature ability to locate a bunch of Ninjas.

> emu asks the thief to slow down while chasing him and then calls him cool when he does the wall jump.

> Rui gets distracted by an actor’s smoke bomb technique and is like “I gotta circle back to this later.”

> Nene gets attacked by children.

> The writers shoe horned in so many “MATTE MATTE MATTE”s with tsukasa that I’m not convinced this entire event wasn’t an excuse to make hirose say that a million times. Challenge: don’t matte matte matte for 2 minutes (critical failure).

> The only reason they found out what the thief was disguised as was because nene forgot a prop and, like a 10 year old boy, tsukasa went “no I’ll go get it I am super fast I’ll go get the prop sooo quick” & the thief happened to try to steal a (prop) vase while tsukasa was in the warehouse.

> The thief sees tsukasa again and is immediately shitting bricks and then takes off when tsukasa is like “show me your hand 🤨.”

> The thief’s biggest mistake was getting scratched by his cat or something. I’m not kidding they know they’ll find their guy because tsukasa spotted 3 little scratches on his hand when he first chased him down.

> “IM TAKING YOU TO HELL WITH ME” “hell?!? 😰” (tsukasa tackles a guy off a roof)

> kijima coming in clutch at the final second with a hay bale

> rui watching tsukasa fall off a building and having wonder halloween flash backs

> kijima was a former big talented wrestler & after his shoulder injury he “didn’t want to go on” (impactful in context. Kind of funny out of it.)

> tsukasa seems to think that screaming at the top of his lungs is necessary for sprinting even while training & scares poor innocent park goers (and their dog)

> emu+nene+rui show up early to the new moon place and see tsukasa running back and forth in a room yelling (training). Rui is like “well. Normal tsukasa kun behaviors?” Emu thinks he’s cool and nene suggests shipping him off to a zoo.

> tsk has entered his gym rat fitness era and tells wxs he’s planned out allotted protein shake breaks and everything.

> comedic sequence where tsukasa loses the thief in a crowd because a ninja class starts gathering

> apparently wxs heard tsukasa scream STOP!!! THIEF!! & just went ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ until they saw him chasing a guy

> it gave us the horrible no good very bad rui line about tsukasa’s muscles in the after live

> tsukasa’s biggest beef with the thief is that it’s getting in the way of his ability to put on a show

> tsukasa spends like half of the event incredibly depressed that he can’t wall jump & then being even more depressed that he can’t chase down a thief on foot.

> “tsukasa. please don’t do anything reckless.” “(I am going to catch that bastard MYSELF!!!)”

> yet another pro actor who is now like tsukasa tenma my friend tsukasa tenma :) my boy is networking!!!

> whatever the fuck kijima and shousuke had going on in college is made funnier knowing that kijima was in his sad era

[guywrestlingaddiction]

Everything Great About a Match: Troy Baker v Shane McCall (bgeast.com)

Everything Great About a Match: +9

Troy Baker v Shane McCall (bgeast.com)

SPOILER ALERT: I highly recommend viewing this match in its entirety before reading this post.

So let's begin:  +1: For Troy... very few wrestlers have reached Troy's shredded abs level of perfection.  Now for all those  pretty guys out there who are squeamish or can't get into wrestling.  Troy has no such problem - the guy handles his face/jobber role like a man.

There are no words needed to explain the perfection that is Troy's body. 

Troy baiting his heel to get him to wrestle. 

+1: For Shane at the height of his heel prowess.  No wrestler was more experienced, more intimidating, more domineering, than Shane at the height of his heel perfection.  The guy has paid his dues as a jobber and is finally coming into his own at this point.  +A for Shane if the A stands for Asserting his will on a jobber.  

+1: The chemistry between a forcible heel and a tough as nails jobber selling this match to perfection.  What do you get when you combine a rugged, top notch heel with a pliable, take anything you can throw his way jobber - you get this masterpiece, that's what.  It's not so much a 'fight' as a testosterone fueled dance with each man knowing their roles to perfection.  

+1: Along those lines, these two pros truly know how to turn a muscled brawl into a narrative between men.  All those hard bodies are one thing but to take all that and add in the competition, the twists and turns, the adrenaline - all work to make this match legendary.  

Troy's thighs are strong enough to take down anyone ... but sometimes it's skill not strength that is king.

Troy is not going to just take it. 

+1: For this seamless Ab stretch to an over-the-knee backbreaker.  Shane absolutely is the man for pulling this off and his ability to unleash this on poor Troy is a triumph.  

Shane: What do you say? Huh?

Troy: [Groan]

Shane: Give it up! Give it up man! Troy: I ... I... 

+1: Shane knows how to humiliate his jobber.  Short of begging, Troy is made to show how useless those show muscles are against the shear tenacity of Shane.  

Something about making that cocky muscle hunk climb up your burly body to prove you're the man!

Or teaching him a lesson and making him arch his back in pain.

+1: For that Heel-turn.  Troy was simply never destined to win.  While Troy may be gifted by genetics one hundred times over, gay wrestling has a way of making things right in the world by turning those ripped golden muscles a bright shade of red, I think the exact color is punishment red to be exact.  

In a shock to the system, the unconquerable has been conquered. 

First the celebration ... More celebration with those sweaty shiny abs...

Then to add glistening muscly insult to jobber victory - Troy pours water on himself. 

Just one step too far.  You've poked the bear and will regret this Troy!

Yup celebration hangover. 

+1: For that Ending.  To further lay claim of the jobber, Shane pours more cold water on the jobber and makes the man submit over and over again until he's satisfied.  Soaking wet muscles glisten with water and Shane shows him off for all to see.  I mean what good is a victory if not to put that shiny, bronze, strong body on display like your own personal trophy.  Hell, making a Trophy jobber out of Troy is worth a bonus point there [+1].  

Soak your muscle boy until he's good and shiny

Then unleash all hell on his best assets.

A win isn't really a victory unless your opponent is so destroyed he regrets ever agreeing to the match. 

------- Everything Great About this Match: +9

So there you have it. It's really not an exaggeration when they say they don't make em like this anymore.  Where else can you see two wrestling titans in their respective levels of, overpower you heel-ness, and give you everything I got jobber-ness.  The biggest mistake of all time was when Troy seductively poured water on himself.  The man might as well shine a searchlight on that sculpted ripped body of his and announce he was ready for some heel punishment.  In the end, it's no surprise that Troy was destroyed, put on humiliating display, and claimed as Shane's personal trophy to add to his collection.