#he's soooo charming and pretty and i want him so bad

[jdeanmorgan]

Kyle Gallner as Hasil Farrell Outsiders (2016-2017)

[reareaotaku]

George Cooper Headcanons

[As a country/southerner, I had too.]

Very gentle and caring

He's a real charmer, but you don't fall for it

He is SOOOO down bad

Like the man has hearts in his eyes every time he sees you. He's so in love

He tries flirting with you multiple times, but it never lands

His brother embarrasses him. Not only because he's in the same grade as Cooper, but also because Sheldon told you Georgie had a crush on you

"Really? Wow... I couldn't tell."

"Are you being sarcastic? Because there's no way you couldn't tell, I mean it seemed pretty obvious, even to me."

"Shut up, Sheldon." Georgie warns, but Sheldon doesn't take him seriously

He's willing to do anything for you

Ask him to jump and he'll do it, no hesitation. Won't even ask how high, he'll just do it

If you're not in school, he'll ditch and go look for you

He doesn't know how to take care of a sick person, but he does try [For you]

He'll ask his mother [or meemaw] for advice, because you're not falling for his irresistible charm

He's a great listener

Any problem you're having, he's more than willing to listen to you

He's also a great shoulder to cry on

He'll hold you and whisper sweet nothings

"Shhh.. It's okay. Don't worry, sweetheart. It's okay."

You thought he was just some idiot [He is], but he's so much more

You hate when you do get a crush on him and deny it, because he's well... him. You don't want to have a crush on him

But, oh he's so sweet, especially to you. You can't help it.

[beefboyandbabygirl]

Pup Code (18+)

(SEQUEL TO GIRL CODE. Y/N IS NOT THE SAME PERSON)

pairing: college!mingyu x college!reader

genre: college au, smut (MDNI), fluff, crack

description: mingyu doesn't have crushes. he likes avril lavigne and sometimes he fucks pretty girls. but you seem to stir something in him that no one else can. without the trusty girl code, mingyu makes his own code to help you fall in love with him.

warnings: kindddaaa bad writing tihi, service top!mingyu, dom!mingyu, sub!reader ish, size kink (reader is mentioned several times to be smaller than mingyu and several key interactions are based on this fact), oral (f. receiving), unprotected sex (dont do it guys...), praise (f. receiving), slight possessiveness?, mingu is soooo in love with y/n, he just wants to make her cum forever :( hes a total dork

quotes from my creative director (@joshibambi): "fuck realistic portrayals of sex with men. im very content with getting exposed to this", "men like this DONT exist",

wordcount: 5.7k

a/n: im back and i think ive regained my ability to write. thank u 2 @ryusha-rose for the amazing name for this fic, it ended up becoming a bigger part of the plot, so thank u sm to them tihihihi

This could not be happening.

Forever boring and bland, his friends had opted out of the party, and Mingyu stayed behind alone. Or not alone. He almost wished he were alone, because almost any company (even none!) was better than sitting across from the two idiots before him.

“Truth or dare, Mingyu!” Josh laughed smugly, and Jeonghan held his hand over his mouth, leaning into him. “Ohhhh, truth or dare!” 

Mingyu had been down this road before. There was no winning in this scenario, Josh and Jeonghan always attempting to pry embarrassing information from him. 

The party had settled down into a low hum. Most people were going home, either humping against another anonymous body as they stumbled out, or walking alone, jacket slung over their arm. There was no reason to stay, really, and torture himself with this circle of hell. Except, of course, for you.

“I don’t wanna do the chicken dance again, so I’m gonna go with truth,” Mingyu pursed his lips, determined to not act a fool in front of you.

He’d always been vaguely aware of you, but tonight had been his first time really sitting down with you. Contrary to your two best friends, you were cool and charming, and you didn’t seem like you wanted to embarrass him. This was already gaining you Mingyu-points, but he was absolutely taken aback by your humor and your smile and he, giddily, found himself liking you. 

Mingyu didn’t usually like people - not like he had always liked Avril Lavigne (there was a poster commemorating that crush in his dorm room) - so this felt big. He was nervous, hands clammy as they slid down his jeans. 

“Tell us about your first time,” Joshua asked innocently, mischief given away by how the older man cackled and slapped his arm. You watched in amusement, eyes flickering over to him, lashes coming over them in long, black lengths. He struggled to breathe when you held his eyes, so he sucked in a breath and looked at the floor, blushing. Damn it, he was already making a fool of himself.

“That’s so rude, Josh!” you said and threw a random chip at him. It hit him on the cheek and he groaned, face scrunching up in disgust. “Ask him something nicer.” 

“You’re so boring, Y/n.” 

Mingyu looked at you gratefully and you returned a warm smile to him.

“Yuck!” Jeonghan quacked from his seat between you and Josh. “You guys get a room! I can’t believe I let this stupid kids’ game take away from my boning.” 

“You’re so gross!” you groaned. 

“Josh was gonna hook me up with this girl from his class, dude,” Jeonghan continued complaining, forever going on about his ‘sexual conquests’. “Now I’m sitting with you dorks and you won’t even let us bully Mingyu.”

“Mingyu’s nice, you guys are just assholes,” you said, gesturing towards Mingyu with your beer. Mingyu was horrified.

Now was the time. Now was the moment to return the compliment; to say anything that might flatter you and defend you from the crooks that you apparently spent your time with. 

Now, this was a bit embarrassing for Mingyu. He had recently been adopted by a female friend group - some might even call him one of the girls, but alas! - so one would think he knew all about girls and how to approach them. The truth was, Mingyu was clueless. Beyond his daydreams of Avril Lavigne, and a few casual flings here and there, he had never actually been put in this situation. 

Mingyu thought about his girl-friends, thought about their advice and their critiques, and he knew. He knew it would frankly disappoint them if he came to them with no expertise, nothing learned from the countless girls’ nights. Therefore, he had to take matters into his own hands. 

“T-Thanks,” Mingu stuttered, lisping across the word. “Y-You’re also great.” 

Fuck, he was an idiot. 

You grinned at him and the sight of your beautiful smile, your shining skin and your gently falling hair was almost enough for him to miss how Josh and Jeonghan were lifting themselves off the floor in disgusted groans. 

“Alright, time to go. Shoo now, back to your dorms. Peasants.”  _____________________________

Mingyu didn’t need his girl-friends. 

He repeated this in his head for days, like a spiritual mantra, and maybe, he hoped, maybe he would start believing it. You and him had one mutual class and he counted down the days before he could swoop in and talk to you casually, flirtatiously, and seductively. 

With the absence of the very helpful girl code (it had certainly helped his friend, Jihoon, with his crush!) Mingyu discovered and consulted a new code. Mingyu code. 

He spent his days diligently writing down his own best advice. Some rules were more helpful than others.

“Mingyu code rule 3: always wash your hands after a shower,” he hummed to himself with a small, satisfied smile, while scrubbing his hands in the steamed up bathroom. 

“Mingyu code rule 12: go on bike rides frequently for a better jawline!” he panted, hunched over his bike, and pedalling through the nearby park in the beating sun. 

Now, Mingyu was mumbling all of his new-found rules to himself, books pressed into his chest, while he approached you in class. It was the middle of the day, and the class hadn’t started yet, people still filing in from the halls. Thankfully, you were sitting alone on your phone, both Jeonghan and Joshua nowhere to be seen. The universe was working with him.

But he was still sweaty and nervous and breathing unevenly when he finally reached you. Remember the code, he reminded himself, remember to be cool and calm.

“Hey...” he whispered, and then, louder: “Hey.” 

You looked up from your phone, smiling brightly when you saw him. For such a huge man, you realized he could look quite small. 

“Hey, Mingyu!” you said cheerfully, settling your phone down on the table before you. He shuffled to sit down next to you, jacket rustling against the wood. Your seat was near the back, so the hall felt great and wide, and a little bit like an audience to his fumbling. 

Rule 14, he remembered sneakily, always wear a jacket, so girls (Y/n) will marvel at your muscles when you take it off! 

Mingyu moved to take off his jacket, eyeing you as he did so, in what he certainly thought was a sultry and sexy look. You blinked back up at him, smiling.

Oh shit. 

Something was caught on- on something! Stuck with the jacket halfway down his arm, Mingyu began struggling and writhing in it, warmth spreading across his cheeks. You smiled at him fondly, biting back a chuckle. 

“Do you need help?” you asked. “No- No, I got it, uh-”

You moved to help anyway, tugging a corner of the jacket off the design of the chair, and he stared at you widely, because you were suddenly so close to him and so cool and calm and pretty, and your fingers danced along his skin. He breathed out a heavy sigh when it finally slid off his arms, furrowing his brows in embarrassment.

“You’re clumsy, huh?” you teased, settling back in your seat and Mingyu chuckled dryly. 

“You don’t know the half of it,” he murmured, and to his delight and surprise, you laughed. You had a loud laugh. It ripped itself from your throat and bounced off the walls of the classroom. He smiled proudly at how your face contorted in joy. 

“You’re funny, Gyu,” you said, stilling finally and he swore his heart galloped in his chest at the nickname. You were so pretty and so sweet, and he wanted to hug you so bad. He grinned, then looked around the room.

“Where are Joshua and Jeonghan?” 

“God knows,” you snorted. “I think they’re poisoning the water supply of some third world country, but I could be wrong.” 

It was Mingyu’s turn to laugh, and how couldn’t he? Because you were so smart and so gorgeous, and he truly didn’t understand how he was smitten by you so fast. There was something humbling about spending all his freetime scrolling through Instagram photos and giggling when you smiled prettily at the camera. 

Next step in Mingyu code was a little tip he’d borrowed from the countless renditions and repeats of the “Jihoon story”; a heartfelt confession.

Wait a minute. Was he skipping a few steps? Surely- Oh yeah, he definitely was. He couldn’t help but want to skip to cuddling, but going from step one to seven was maybe a bit of a stretch. Jogging his brain for his ultimate “confession for Y/n” gameplan, Mingyu didn’t even notice the lull in the conversation, while he stared at you with furrowed brows and a pout.

“So, uh,” you began awkwardly, and Mingyu finally snapped out of his daze. Shit, he was being a dork again. “You coming to the party on Friday?” 

“Oh, yeah. Yeah, I’ll be there. Jus’.. Love partying.”

There was no salvaging this.

“Alright,” you giggled, confused, and finally turned your eyes to the board when the professor began speaking.

Friday, he thought, gulping down the shame. Friday I make some serious moves. _____________________________

Mingyu was not making serious moves. In fact, he wasn’t making any moves at all.

He’d never felt more strange, standing on the edge of the dancefloor and bending his knees awkwardly to the rhythm of the music. His limbs were mile long stretches and they swung uselessly around him. He looked almost lost, but, of course, it was only Soonyoung’s house. 

“You okay, man?” Wonwoo, his roommate, padded up beside him, eyeing him warily through the lens of his glasses. “Are you on something?” 

“No, I’m not on something!” Mingyu huffed, stopping his frankly pathetic dance moves and looking directly at the man before him. “I just… You know that girl Josh and Jeonghan are always hanging out with?” 

Wonwoo nodded.

“I kind of.. Really.. Like her.”

“What?!” Wonwoo exclaimed, completely forgoing his drink to look at Mingyu in bewilderment. “You haven’t liked anyone since Avril Lavigne!” 

“I know! But this girl’s just really smart and cool and funny,” Mingyu smiled shyly, eyeing you where you sat with Josh and Jeonghan, as well as two girls he didn’t recognize  - oh, wait, no, Jeonghan and one of the girls were leaving together. Just you, Josh and the blonde then. Wait, no, now Josh was leaving with the blonde. Just you.

Wonwoo saw how Mingyu’s eyes brightened with opportunity and he smiled beneath the rim of his plastic cup.

“Wait! Wonwoo! You can wingman me!” Mingyu exclaimed suddenly, hoping the older man’s presence might ease the interaction. 

“What? No!” Wonwoo grimaced.

“Why not?”

“You don’t deserve my services, Mingyu! Not after what you did to me!” 

“We’ve talked about this, the Jihoon-story is a very sweet thing and you should be happy to have been a part of it-” 

“I’m talking about the other time. Or the other-other time!”

Mingyu slumped, a pout on his pink lips. Wonwoo softened, but stayed steadfast nonetheless.

“Listen, just go talk to her. I have a girl waiting for me upstairs, I just wanted to see if you were okay,” the older man said softly, patting his shoulder while a drink was clutched in his other hand, liquid dancing against the cup-walls when he wafted his hand.

“I would be more okay if you wing-manned me-” 

“Alright, that’s enough,” Wonwoo murmured, walking away towards the stairs. Mingyu sighed and looked over at you. You were chewing your lip, face lit by the screen of your phone. 

“Mingyu code rule 17: Confidence is key. Confidence is sexy,” Mingyu reminded himself, squeezing his eyes shut and beginning to walk over to you. “You’re hot, Mingyu. You have big muscles and a pretty face.”

Mingyu could’ve almost convinced himself, but when he opened his eyes, legs mindlessly padding closer to you, you were so pretty and so intoxicating, he faltered completely. 

“H-Hi,” he stammered, brows immediately pulling up in disdain at himself. You looked up and smiled immediately, face shining bright. “Hi, Gyu! Come sit down with me!” 

He nodded dumbly, and squeezed in beside you. His muscly arms were pressed into himself and leaning on his thighs, and he tried to compose his features into something sexy and sultry, when he turned to look at you. You smiled in a sort of knowing way that had Mingyu dropping his face immediately. 

“You enjoying the party?” he rasped, turning to look out at the crowd. You pursed your lips and looked at it with him. “Not sure. It’s kind of boring and Josh and Jeonghan just left.” 

“Yeah, I saw,” he sighed, then widened his eyes. Oh God, he thought, what if you thought he was a total creep - a creepster - staring at you from across the room all creepily. “Not that I- I wasn’t- I just saw it, like, casually across the roo-” 

“Mingyu, do you want to take me out on a date?” 

Huh?

“Huh?” 

Mingyu didn’t know if he was hearing that right. The words had come so naturally and so casually from your mouth, and now you were staring at him with furrowed brows and pursed lips, and waiting expectantly for him to answer. 

“Do you want to take me out on a date?” you repeated, shrugging your shoulders, as if it were just the weather. Mingyu stared at you with whole, wide eyes, and swallowed hard. Clammy hands gripped his knees.

“Yeah,” he breathed, laughing awkwardly. His mouth was so dry and his heartbeat was almost painful in his chest, although the tensions were eased when smiled sympathetically. “I mean- if you want to-” 

“I want to go on a date with you too, Mingyu,” you reassured, smiling even wider when his lips mimicked your own. 

“Oh my God, okay, so, I was thinking Olive Garden-” Mingyu giggled, and his pure expression of joy was infectious, genuinely making your heart soar, as this huge, muscly man bounced on the couch cushions. He cut himself off halfway, narrowing his eyes. “Wait, wait, how did you know?” 

“How did I know what?” you frowned.

“That I like you?” 

Your immediate reaction was to snort. This only confused Mingyu further, so you elected to respond truthfully: “Mingyu, you always look at me so longingly, seriously-”

“That- those were sexy faces!” he pouted. 

“No, they were longing and tender. Like pull-apart meat. And then sometimes you do the- the Zoolander face-” 

“I’ve never done the Zoolander face in my life!” 

“And all your moves are so obvious, Gyu,” you watched how he slumped at those comments, a little, pitiful pout on his lips, all deflated like a puppy. You reached a hand over to caress his arm, warm and hard with muscle under your fingertips. Mingyu immediately leaned into your touch, pout being replaced with a small goofy smile. “It was very endearing, though. You’re very cute.” 

“I was going for sexy,” Mingyu said, mood lifted at your compliment, but still a little pouty.

“Then go sexy on our date,” you squeezed his bicep in your hand and he perked up. “Now that you know I like you too.” 

Hearing those words, that admission, Mingyu smiled to himself. 

Mingyu Code; he truly was genius. _____________________________

“So no Olive Garden?” you quipped, standing outside of a more upscale restaurant - candlelit and warm and Italian. Mingyu shook his head. He’d thought Olive Garden would woo any girl, but after triumphantly boasting to his girl-friends (mothers), that he’d gotten a date with a girl he liked, he’d been nothing but scolded by the restaurant choice (“A girl wants to feel pampered! Olive Garden is for post-6-month-relationships!” Yeri had squawked). 

“Not until in six months,” Mingyu said, shrugging when you lifted a brow in question. Cars were bustling past where you were standing on the sidewalk. Grass sprouted from the cracks in the cement and people idled past where the two of you were facing each other, your head craning up to his. “Wanna go inside?” he asked.

Mingyu had become more at ease, following your admission. You liked him too, he tried to remember, whenever the butterflies batting around his curving ribcage became too much. And it was becoming too much now, with how your lips spread in a smile and you nodded at him.

You walked in, hand in hand. The tables were fine, polished wood and there was a slightly-stained, white tablecloth draped over the rounded surface of the table. Sneakily, Mingyu nudged some salt and pepper shakers over the yellow splotches on the fabric, hoping you wouldn’t notice, and that you’d feel pampered. You were busy looking at the menu. 

Mingyu asked about everything - not because of Girl Code or Mingyu Code or whatever other bullshit way to woo a woman. No, he asked because he was sincerely and utterly interested in you, what made you you, what habits you got from your childhood, what made you choose your major, how you knew Josh and Jeonghan. You were so beautiful in the light of the restaurant, but more importantly, you were the most infatuating individual Mingyu had ever laid his eyes on. Maybe even more so than Avril Lavigne. 

You got to talking about Mingyu Code. 

“Well, it was because of my friends. They have Girl Code, right?” 

“Yeah, that’s God’s rules,” you hummed, sipping on a soda. 

“Mhm, and my friend followed Girl Code and he got with this girl he really liked.” 

“Mhm.” 

“But I decided to make Mingyu Code. Which is about being sexy and charming.” 

“You were none of those things,” you teased, but Mingyu had gained confidence and he leaned back in his seat with a smirk, stretching out his arms, as if gesturing to the restaurant. 

“Well, I beg to differ. You’re here now, aren’t you?” 

“I suppose I am,” you smiled, admitting defeat. “Although I don’t think you were following Mingyu Code.” 

“Yes, I was, I made it. I’m the founder of that shit,” Mingyu grimaced.

“Well, if Mingyu Code is about being sexy, then you definitely accidentally followed some other code.”

“Wha-”

“Puppy code. You’re like a big, clumsy puppy. Yeah,” you nodded to yourself, satisfied with your new name for Mingyu’s terrible, horrible guide to wooing you. “Pup Code.” 

“Why does everyone call me that?” Mingyu whined, crossing his arms and pouting. Your plates were empty and streaks of cream sauce sludged up the sides of the porcelain. 

“You give off major himbo vibes,” you said.

“I’m smart, though,” Mingyu huffed. You smiled fondly at his bratty expression. 

“I know you are.” 

Mingyu caught your eye and caught the sincerity in them, and it made his whole body ache and flutter. You liked him too, it was clear and not something Mingyu had to tell himself, it was right there, right behind your retina, twinkling at him. 

“Do you wanna..?” Mingyu trailed off, pointing his thumb to the door. You pursed your lips.

“What if I wanna take it slow?” You asked, and it was almost adorable how Mingyu’s eyes widened and he shook his head vehemently and seriously. 

“That’s okay! We can- we can totally do that,” he said decidedly, as if it weren’t a bother at all (because it wasn’t). 

“Okay,” you nodded, letting go of your now finished drink. “But if I want you to take me to your room right now and fuck me?”

Mingyu whipped his head to yours, the way a door bursts open. You saw him swallow, throat dry and heavy, and biting his lip.

“That- That would be okay, too,” Mingyu said shakily, blushing furiously. Images flashed his mind of you in less-than-sacred scenarios, and he squeezed his eyes shut to ward them away. 

“Okay, then let’s go,” you shrugged nonchalantly. 

“To my room?” He almost couldn’t believe it.

“Yes.” 

“Okay, fuck, let me just pay.”

Mingyu didn’t think he’d ever paid and left a restaurant so fast, and he was enamored with you enough to completely skip the step where he contemplated whether or not the staff secretly hated him. You and him walked hand in hand, as he practically dragged you through the street back to the dorms, his long legs working faster and more efficiently than your own. You half wanted to complain at the brutal pace, but you couldn’t lie. You needed him just as much as he needed you. And he knew that too. 

Thankfully the restaurant wasn’t too far from the dorms, and Mingyu had frantically texted Wonwoo to “get out or he’d be squirted with semen” (a threat that Wonwoo didn’t need to hear twice!), so after ten minutes and some sore legs on your part, Mingyu and you scrambled into his room.

Mingyu liked the privacy, you realized, because it wasn’t until the door was closed, and you both were sealed away in the Mingyu-zone, that he finally walked up to you, hands finding your waist with a confidence you didn’t think possible for him.

“Can I kiss you now?” he whispered, somewhat out of breath from the climb up the stairs. You smiled at him. “I’d be mad if you didn’t.” 

And then he pounced. His plush lips were soft and well-moisturized, and his annoying, perfect nose brushed against yours; in fact his whole stupidly gorgeous face was pressed into yours, as your lips thrummed together, and you were conjoined into one being by the lips. 

His hands ran up and down your sides, finally taking hold firmly, only to pull you into his lap when he settled on the edge of his bed. You straddled his lap, as your lips danced, his tongue peeking out to enter your mouth. You moaned gratefully. Involuntarily, your hips rolled into his, and the jolt reverberated all the way up to his lips where he cried out and panted against your mouth. 

“You’re so pretty,” he said in between heated kisses. 

“So are you,” you said. He pulled away and smiled up at you, and he was truly worthy of the puppy-title, because his grin was so goofy and his eyes twinkled and he was so warm against you, it almost hurt. 

Carefully, he pressed a kiss to the valley of your breasts over your t-shirt, looking up at you with wide, brown eyes. “Can I eat you out?” 

The way he said it like he was completely and totally enamored with you (he was), like it was in this very moment of sitting on his lip and running your hands up his huge arms, that he was falling in love with you (it was), almost made you bashful. Your smile, usually cheeky and teasing, came small and shy. 

“Yeah, I-I wouldn’t mind that at all,” you responded, cursing at yourself for letting your confidence falter. However joy spread on Mingyu’s face like the ever-expanding universe spreads into endless empty space, because for once the tables were turned, and you were right underneath his hands, and he was flustering you. 

It had him pushing you onto his bed, head falling into the depths of his pillow, and working at your skirt to shimmy it down your legs. You lifted your hips in help and soon enough that and your shirt was discarded on the floor. Mingyu, with his black tee and his big arms and his sweetest-hottest face on Earth, settled between your legs with a dumb grin. 

“I can’t believe-” he cut himself off with a satisfied sigh, staring at your pussy. You were pushing yourself up by your arms, looking at the man-child between your legs just staring at your core as if it were his most prized possession. “I-I can’t believe I get to have you like this. I can’t believe you’re mine.”

Mingyu’s face fell (it was almost comical), and his eyes snapped up to yours. “Wait, are you mine? You are mine, right?” 

You giggled fondly. “Yeah, I’m yours, Mingyu.” 

Mingyu’s grin returned immediately and he nodded happily, eyes turning back to your pussy. 

“It’s so pretty,” he sighed, fangs poking out where his smile ended. One finger ran through your folds, wet from the making out and all the heated stares from lovedumb Mingyu. You whined a little at the pressure when his finger reached your clit. He was so close you could feel him panting against it. 

“Mingyu, please, stop staring at it, and do something,” you cried and Mingyu pursed his lips and nodded. “Right, yeah, sorry.” 

And then he dived in. 

His nose pressed into your clit as soon as he pushed his head in, tongue stuck out to lick at your folds. Your hands flew to his hair, a desperate moan leaving you. It was a little embarrassing how loud he was, huffing and puffing at your pussy, but you couldn’t complain when his tongue traced up from your hole to your clit, lips wrapping around it. 

“A-Aah, M-Mingyu-” you cried and pushed his head further into your core, while your hips canted off the mattress. The press of his nose was amazing, and his breaths danced across your nerves. “S-Shit, that feels so good.” 

Mingyu was totally lost in you though. Your taste on his tongue, your soft thighs underneath his hands where he pushed you apart, your moans, and the desperation in your movements. The fact that you were so catty and witty, but with a few flicks of his tongue, your facade fell and you became a whiny, desperate mess, begging for him. And he loved to give it to you. He loved that you felt good, he loved being the one to make you feel good. Lapping and panting into your pussy, Mingyu started to think he didn’t ever need to leave. You could just feel good forever! The logic was flawless.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” you cried and you came on his tongue, cum seeping out of your sopping pussy. Mingyu, strong and tan and shiny Mingyu, didn’t stop though. Too enchanted by your soft moans and your nail in his roots, and your juices on his lips, he kept at it, tongue-fucking you to slurp up the cum. 

“M-Mingyu-” you whimpered softly, and his only response was a grunt, and one hand sliding off your thighs to prod at your entrance. “M-Mingyu, I-I already came!” you cried, more insistent. 

“You can cum again,” he mumbled gruffly, two fingers pushing into you. The feeling was so intense your voice became strangled and your chest pushed off his bed.

“Just say if you wanna stop, then I’ll stop,” his tone was almost challenging, as he pulled his face away from your dripping pussy and his fingers stilled inside you to give you a chance to answer. You looked down at him, panting, as he waited expectantly. Your ‘stop’ didn’t come. 

“That’s what I thought,” Mingyu grinned again, and God, this time it was sexy; not endearing, not awkward, not clumsy. It was so incredibly hot and he dived right back to your pussy, tongue swaddling your folds and fingers beginning to pump in and out. 

Your clit grinded against his face, slick smearing all over him, but he didn’t seem to care one bit, your cum on his cheek and two fingers working inside you, curling into your g-spot. “Cum again,” he gasped in between sucking on your clit with pointed lips. “Cum again, I wanna hear it again. You sounded so pretty, please, cum again. On my fingers now.” 

And he was rambling for sure, but it was working for you, because for the second time that night, a knot tightened in your belly and the string were pulled tighter and tighter with each lick and suck, and eventually it snapped, and your whole body spasmed and your pussy pulsated around his thick fingers. 

This time, he did stop. You closed your eyes and heaved for air, lying completely still in the sheets of his bed and panting for air. Mingyu smiled cheekily, pulling his fingers out of your sensitive pussy and licking them clean. As if it was nothing. As if it was juice from a popsicle, his tongue peaked out and he sucked your essence off of them, groaning at its taste. 

“Can you go on again? You taste so good,” he hummed, eyeing your fucked-out state. Your cheeks were flushed and strands of hair stuck to your sweaty face. You shook your head. “No, no, I want your cock now.” 

“Anything for you,” Mingyu agreed, shuffling to take his clothes off while you regrouped. 

It was not long before he was climbing over your body, so fucking huge and covering your entire form in his own, muscles flexing when he lowered himself onto you. As if by nature, Mingyu, tan and glistening in the bedside lamp, grabbed you by under your knees and pushed them to your chest, pressing them into you. 

“Wanna fuck you like this,” he pressed a kiss to one of the knees that was now folded over you. “Can I fuck you like this?” 

“Please!” you sobbed, because the position, and his strong hands holding you there, and your own slick covering his face had your pussy dripping onto his bed, and you could practically feel the heavy presence of his dick, even if it wasn’t touching you yet. 

Mingyu tilted his head as he looked down at you. You were so easy to admire. It was so easy for him to fall into every little jerk and breath and crevice of your face, and you looked so beautiful underneath him, Mingyu started to think he wanted nothing more for the rest of his life than to make you feel this good. 

“Okay,” he whispered, and only then did you notice how he stared at you, because there was something very tender in his voice. Adoration poured directly from his heart and into you.

Before you could get lost in his warm eyes, he moved one hand down to steer his dick into you. You cried out when you felt it pressing against your slit, cried even more when it started pressing into you. 

You had suspected Mingyu might be big, but nothing could’ve prepared you for each inch that seemed to endlessly plunge into your heat. Stretching you out like a rubber band, Mingyu finally bottomed out in you, his hard pelvis resting against your mound. 

“Shit, Gyu, y-you’re so fucking big,” you gasped, and then opened your eyes to see him smirking proudly. It made you giggle. He hummed giddily, looking down at your stomach. 

“You’re just so fucking small,” he said then, pressing one hand to your stomach, and then groaning when he could feel his dick inside you. “Shit.” 

At that, Mingyu started pounding into you. His pace was fucking relentlessly, something seemingly awakened in him at the bulging in your stomach. “Shit, shit, shit, my tiny, pretty baby, fuck, you’re so fucking gorgeous.” 

The praise had you reeling into him, it had you crying out and gripping onto his shoulders for dear life, while he worked up a sweat pistoning in and out of your pussy. You moans were shaken from the impact of his dick in your pussy. “Shit, so fucking tight, can hardly fucking take me.” 

“G-Gyu, f-fuck-” 

“But you’ll take it, hm? Fuck, I wanna make you cum so much more, jus’ have you in my room, making you cum over n’ over again. Shit.” 

You had not pegged Mingyu as a dirty talker, and you weren’t even sure if he was aware of what he was doing. Something about having his dick inside you, warm walls just pulled one dirty slew of words out after another. He’d never fucked a girl like this, never felt compelled to tell her exactly what she was doing to him. Not like with you.

You were so gorgeous to him, the way your chest bounced, and your eyes were screwed shut and how your mouth was opened in continuous, strained moans. It was how your hair bunched up on his pillow, and how your skin felt against his, and how you clenched at every word he spewed, while grinded into you like you were the only other person in the world. 

“F-fuck, my pretty fucking baby, you’re mine, right? Say it and I’ll make you cum forever, jus’-” he groaned, as your pussy clenched down on him extra tight. His pace fell and his hands on your knees dug into the skin. “Jus’ say you’re mine, please, Y/n.” 

“I-I’m yours, Gyu!” you cried out, his pace speeding up again and another orgasm bubbled in your stomach, and you pussy clenched embarrassingly hard for embarrassingly long. “Only yours, fuck.” 

“That’s right. Cum again, let- let me hear it one more time, yeah?” 

You came. Again. Clenching down so hard, and face twisting in pleasure, cum spilled out of you and coated his dick, still inside you.

Your third orgasm was a melodious song, and you moaned to it so loudly, you knew people three halls over would be wondering what was going on. But you could care less, letting his presence, his smell, his being above you drag more bursts of pleasure out of your body. 

Your breathing calmed down again, your soul traveling down from a sky-high mountain, and you started to feel it all again. Your orgasm had been so blinding, you had lost all of your senses but the blinding white explosion in your stomach, and now sighed heavily, pushing yourself up a little.

To your surprise, Mingyu’s hold on your knees didn’t let up, and it took you a moment to realize that his dick was still extremely hard inside you. He hadn’t cum yet.

“Want you to cum again,” Mingyu smiled sheepishly, adjusting his position to be able to pound into you again. You looked at him incredulously, and he chuckled a little, shrugging. “Just say if you want to stop.”

“Safe word is ‘pup’.” 

[anifever]

maybe some Dallas Winston OR Sodapop Curtis dating headcanons? :3

Dating Sodapop Curtis HCs ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

Sodapop Curtis x Fem!Reader

୨୧ : HC’s of dating Tulsa’s pretty boy

A/N : I see soooo much of Dallas all over tumblr so I picked Soda 😭 may do him next tho. Also Rob serves sm face

˖⁺‧₊˚ 🥤 ˚₊‧⁺˖

୨ SO attentative

୨ I wrote this for Darry too but he loves having his hands on you at all times

୨ I think handholding or a hand on your hip would be the most common

୨ PDA is scared of this man.

୨ Loves sleeping with you; napping, etc, he just likes knowing you’re with him

୨ Most of his jokes are awful so you laugh out of pity or are simply the only person that finds them funny

୨ Steve makes fun of his ‘charm’ around you all the time

୨ He always gives you his flannels whenever you get cold (or if there’s even a slight breeze… he might be showing off a bit)

୨ He’s also the type to lay his jacket on top of a puddle for you when you could easily walk around it LMAO

୨ He’s just a gentleman in general

୨ Carrying bags for you, opening doors, etc

୨ You also get piggybacks from him constantly even if you could walk by yourself

୨ You get spoiled whether it’s with affection or items- doesn’t even matter that they’re kinda poor

୨ You definitely get flowers every date night (whether he bought them or picked them himself)

୨ You have to care for him every time he digests dairy

୨ Drinks chocolate milk every morning anyways even tho he knows it’ll kill his stomach

୨ Also comforting him whenever he gets dragged into one of Pony and Darry’s fights

୨ You guys definitely dance around in the living room or something

୨ It’s pretty playful yet still romantic

୨ Protective.

୨ He also gets jealous pretty easily whether you wanna say it’s because of Sandy or just in general

୨ You get hugged CONSTANTLY, usually from behind

୨ You always come to visit him after school- or on the weekends- as he works at the DX

୨ You usually sit with him behind the counter but sometimes you have to go to the break room because he gets too distracted whilst working 😭

୨ On top of all that, you bring him lunches with you as well (along with ones for Steve)

୨ He remembers every little detail you tell him

୨ Like even if he’s a little dumb (😇🫶) he somehow knows what your favorite pre-school teacher’s name was

୨ He writes you short and cheesy love letters from time to time

୨ Yes, half the words are always spelt wrong but who cares??? You can’t make fun of that pretty face

୨ The gang almost never hears him call you by your actual name

୨ It’s always a pet name unless he’s talking about you to them and other people

୨ You eventually get used to/enjoy the smell of grease and gasoline from how often he gets covered in it

୨ You guys def shower together on a pretty regular basis whether it becomes sexual or not

୨ Baking together!! (he makes the biggest mess in the world and is kinda bad at it but you help him)

୨ You guys definitely get red and blue slushies from the DX and both have purple tongues an hour later

୨ You always offer to wash his clothes for him which seems kinda weird but it’s just because you want his clothes smelling like you/your detergent

୨ He definitely started letting you do it constantly from then on

୨ He’s literally the embodiment of “THAT’S MY GIRLFRIEND!!!!”

୨ He’s just such a sweetie- sodapop I wish u were real 💔

[speirslore]

band of brothers flirting styles + reaction to you flirting back

(this includes winters, nixon, speirs, lipton, roe, bull, and liebgott! but if your fav isn't here, feel free to send an ask and i'll add them!)

lmk if you would like to be on my taglist: @ronsparky @bcon24 @blueberry-ovaries @1waveshortofashipwreck @beautifulbluejay

[dick winters]

dick feels kind of useless when trying to flirt

a lot of it is nix having very middle school vibes of 'hey, my friend over there thinks you're gorgeous btw'

it's very endearing

you waltz over to where dick is and his ears are already red before you even get to the table

he'll apologize abt lew instantly and you frown like, "oh, was it a joke?"

dick immediately is like "no, no, he- i meant it"

his nervous rambling is sooo cute to you, you can only smile and say, "i'm glad and by the way, i think you're pretty gorgeous too."

if his face can go any redder, it definitely does then

when you start talking, he's slowly getting less flushed and more comfortable

but he's an overthinker so he still isn't totally convinced that you're flirting

has to have lew pull him aside, shake him a little bit, and be like, yes they are absolutely into you, yes that is flirting

i do think dick can get super flirty once he's more comfortable, like once you're dating and it's just the two of you, he's so charming and sweet

but the first time you meet, he's just so shy but still very sincere with his compliments

dick is great about making eye contact because he just thinks your eyes are so beautiful

the night ends with his hand on the small of your back

and tbh the spiciest it will get after you first meet is a kiss to his cheek when he's leaving with a napkin with your number written on it

and nix is just watching like a proud father <3

[lewis nixon]

if there's one thing lewis nixon is, he is charming

he's very used to disarming others with said charm

he is such a gentleman... he was painstakingly subjected to a lot of manners and etiquette classes as a child/teenager

and lew now puts it to good use!

he's so good at flirting with his own brand of nihilistic, high society charm

so when you flirt back and respond... he's sooo excited like this is so fun for him

lew is very used to people being completely disarmed by him

but you're not... you grinned when he walked over to where you and your friends were talking and asked you to dance, and pressed a kiss to his cheek when you said yes

he does blush faintly, which is a huge deal for lew because that never really happens

once you're dancing, oh he's a menace

he's having SO much fun, hand on your waist maybeee moving lower

he thinks you’re so funny and lew’s grin and laugh... so top tier

it's so nice when it's genuine, and even though you just met him you want to hear it again and again

he can't stop smiling like it's soooo obvious, lew makes absolutely no effort to hide how attracted to you his is

does not try to play it cool at all like he wants you sooo bad

has absolutely no shame

and it does not take long before you're making out outside the pub, already feeling familiar and warm in his arms

[ron speirs]

ron honestly feels a little silly trying to flirt

it's very hard for him to get out of his own head about it

the most intense eye contact ever?

eye contact is ron's version of flirting

'like why don't they understand i want them in every possible way... i'm looking at them??'

ron really just does not understand, he's pulling out all the stops with his slightly unnerving eye contact

and also just talking, like if he's willingly having a longer than 5 minute conversation with you and actually talking about himself? ron is actually professing his undying love

a lot of just blunt complimenting too, i mean sweet compliments but just out of nowhere, like "you have beautiful eyes, you know."

when you flirt back, touch his arm, and look up at him, he's definitely melting inside

especially if you're normally more shy or reserved... oh he's hooked

he doesn't outwardly show it... at least not obviously... but you can tell from his eyes, the way they intensify, darken, widen, and focus on you

ron does love praise

"you know lieutenant, ron, you do have gorgeous eyes, too."

"and i love your hair, the sweetest curls"

oh he's yours entirely... please give him all the words of affirmation

it gets pretty obvious when he's really responding to your flirting, staring at your lips and biting his lip, moving closer to you

has this smirk that just subconsciously appears

like lew, escalates very quickly

ron is a very physical person and that's when he can really show his attraction ;)

[eugene roe]

eugene is not confident in his flirting at all

he's very very subtle

and he honestly does better talking to someone he's attracted to by just striking up normal conversation and learning about them and not approaching it as trying to flirt

his voice goes lower and raspier if that's even possible

especially if you're in a bar, with a lot of music and voices loud, he just instinctually leans closer to your ear, face so so close

then immediately realizes he's super close to you now and tries not to freak out

gene has to get out of his own head first and when he does that, he can be so charming

he just unintentionally has that sexy suave energy

especially when he drops certain pet names in french

you flirting back is a hugeeee relief for him

and repeating said french? like yes it’s cheesy and cliche but it sounds so nice coming from your lips!

he can't hide his smile at all like, laughing into the sip of his drink

"i'm impressed," he'll murmur

"you should be, i'm pulling out all the stops for you, eugene."

oh he blushes so badly

he lovessss hearing you say his name, he's so used to only being 'doc' or 'roe', it's so nice to actually hear his name, especially coming from you <3

[bull randleman]

oh he's so sweet!

that southern drawl... yeah it's super charming

and the cigar... sorry it's super sexy

i think he would be surprised, pleasantly surprised

and then would immediately proceed to get super shy though

he feels like he's got a good head on him, resourceful, smart, etc

but it all goes out the window when you're flirting with him!

yes he def blushes

also very observant to how you're reacting

i think he would be really into kisses but would be scared to initiate anything

especially the first time meeting you

would love to dance

is he that great... no... does he feel like his hands are way too sweaty... yes... does he step on your foot a few times... maybe

but it's very endearing!

very southern gentleman of course

like he is definitely holding the door open for you, standing up when you walk into the room, etc

[joe liebgott]

joe is incredibly charming

and very honest

like he lays it on pretty thick

there's never any questioning of 'is he actually into me? or is he just talking to me?'... he leaves absolutely no room for overthinking

like you definitely know... there is never a doubt

and when you flirt back he gets the biggest, cocky grin

joe gets into it extremely quickly, will definitely immediately match your energy (and then some)

"doll, angel, pretty, cutie.." he's pulling out all the stops

loves teasing and going back and forth with you

criminal "yeah?" usage by him

the BEST at keeping eye contact, props up head with his hand just watching you talk

skinny, tipper, smokey, tab, etc are all definitely watching from a few tables away, intrigued and impressed, and very obviously

you notice and grin, "wanna give them a show?"

joe would never say no to that! so you just lean forward and kiss him, hand pulling his chin gently closer

and this man is already feral... the noises??? he has range and he's a little freaky, a little spurred on by a crowd, by his friends watching, shaking their heads, caught up into the moment

but ofc when you pull away, oh now he's shy... like he's so red

but make no mistake joe is definitely into it... very very into you

[carwood lipton]

lip feels so weird trying to flirt tbh

very much like, is this allowed?

not as like... alien as ron, more similar to dick in he's just a little, a lot, self conscious

but he's also so naturally personable and kind

and he attracts so many people naturally because of that

including you

talking in a group with a bunch of other soldiers with your friends, you're immediately drawn to him

you smiling at him definitely makes him feel more at ease

you definitely do have to encourage him to relax because he has a littleee trouble holding eye contact, looking down a lot

and then suddenly there’s another man staring at you, approaching you, and standing a little too close

and even though you don't know carwood, you're still looking at him silently for help

and ofc he's very observant of people and situations

so his hand snakes around the small of your back

and lip is naturally protective and careful, guiding you through the crowd

"my prince charming," you say and he of course blushes, muttering a small “maybe.”

"i hope so," you grin and lip can't help but smile too

[don malarkey]

does don really have a flirting style… no

he just tries his best

can hold conversation and compliment you and hope for the best

but it’s very endearing to you

don is SO easily flustered… him even approaching you at talk was huge

big difference him with his friends, he definitely talks a big talk

and babe and bill and joe get sick of listening to him talk about wanting to approach you

bill threatens to go up to you himself. he will snitch on don

but when he actually finally works up the courage to go over to you, all that bravo immediately vanished

don used up all his confidence just getting himself to approach you and he didn't really plan for anything after

struggles at first to make eye contact

goes very red, especially in his neck and ears

but it gets better! and he hypes himself up in his head because you're entertaining him, talking back and smiling at his nervousness

a lot nervous laughter

his reaction to you flirting? first, it's thank god, and the excitement takes over and he's so in his head that he forgets to respond

but gets more comfortable throughout the night, arm resting across your shoulder, cheeks warm (feeling the alcohol) but very content

[cuubism]

unhinged dreamling modern au #409430950

the bachelor

dream is bribed, threatened, and/or physically dragged by his ankle into being on a dating show by death and desire (for very different reasons, death just wants him to be happy and is very very desperate at this point, desire's just fucking with him again), and needless to say dream is not the target candidate for this. at all. sure he's pretty and rich but he's also a complete asshole. this is destined to go poorly.

(unless you're the show's producers who just want an unhinged television trainwreck that keeps people in their seats, in which case it's fucking fantastic)

hob is also there as a contestant because he's bored, single, and always willing to do something stupid. everybody on the show is taking it seriously except for dream, who'd rather jump off a cliff than be here right now, and hob, who's just entertaining himself.

dream: this is stupid (hateful) hob: this is stupid (having the time of his life)

needless to say this whole thing is a disaster. normally contestants are clamoring for the 'bachelor's' attention but dream just keeps being an utter jerk to everyone, making them cry, and causing them to actually drop out of the show. contestants: "i'd rather die than be with you." dream: "glad we're finally on the same page." like. dream doesn't even have to actively eliminate people. they just eliminate themselves because he's so insufferable.

hob isn't put off, though, this whole thing is hilarious to him. dream tries scaring him off and hob just laughs like "oh you're so cute, this is great"

dream: i hope you die hob: you want me so bad it makes you look stupid

the more people drop out of the show the more time dream and hob end up spending together, by necessity. unfortunately for dream's sanity hob is actually very charming and fun and inexplicably good at getting dream to smile. they have at least one proper heart-to-heart and hob is so kind to him, and dream hates him soooo much for it.

(of course he actually likes him, and it's the worst thing that's happened to him, maybe ever. he's in agony. he wants off this ride, please. maybe he wants on a different ride ahem.)

so now hob's properly invested in this stupid game, he's like oh that wretched stick of a man is mine (literally nobody is challenging him but he's being super competitive about it anyway). all it really results in is dream being MORE of an asshole both to hob and to everybody else. (dream: one time i had a crush on this guy and i didn't know how to handle it so i just wrote him a letter saying get out of my tv show). and yet every week dream could eliminate hob from the show but he never does...

anyway soon enough literally every other contestant has dropped out of the show and it's JUST hob remaining and he basically wins by default. dream absolutely will not be beaten or outdone and is like fine hob i'll call your bluff. marry me if you're so committed to winning. hob's like, bet :) (see: always willing to do something stupid).

they do in fact get married because they're both incapable of conceding defeat. then they're like well. what do we do now...

dream: going to divorce me now and take half of my money? run with your spoils? hob: idk, are you going to divorce me and finally 'free yourself from the torment of my presence'? dream: *sniff* then you would win hob: then i bet i can stay in this relationship longer than you :) dream, gritting his teeth: bet

anyway they manage about two months before dream, perpetually in agony over how aggressively he's into hob, is like fine, i concede, i can't take it anymore. leave me if you want, take my money, i do not care, only free me from this pain. hob: so... i win? i get to choose the prize? dream, utterly defeated: whatever you want hob: okay! and he kisses him

[frogchiro]

I feel I must point out. Krauser is most definitely thinking about you and Ashley going somewhere to make out together.

Also…. Living for the development of reader’s friend group in this AU!! Ashley, maybe sheva, Zoe, Ada?

And I think it would be sooooo funny if Donna was in that friend group

She would be soooo mad abt you being advanced on by her older brother.

Also…. Dying to know how Luis and Chris are also gonna fall under the spell 😈

I’m thinking for Luis that you’re made his lab partner in one class, and despite your obvious disdain for him and his friends, you absolutely save his ass on an assignment that would’ve totally fucked his entire grade if he’d failed. And you said something like “it would be sad if you had to waste the professor’s time by taking this class again just because of some stupid mistake”

And then he’s completely hooked. Starts calling you his angel, begging you to help him proofread thesis papers. Luis by no means an idiot, he’s probably the strongest academically in the entire frat, but he knows a resource when he sees one. He knows his shit, but he makes little mistakes from carelessness. You probably work at the writing center, and every damn paper you’ve ever looked at when he’s gotten a chance for a rewrite has improved by at least 10% when resubmitted. And there are hearts in his eyes when he watches you mark the fuck out of his pages with red pen, aye, so ruthless. Your look of concentration is so cute.

The knowledge that you work at the writing center is different from the upskirts— he’s not sharing that with his buddies, he’ll take any advantage (since when was this a contest?) that he can get!

-🐱

Tbh yeah, he did💀 I actually wanted to put that into the blurb but I was afraid it would take too long ;;

Later that night when his fuckass friends went to sleep he was probably jerking off to his nasty fantasies of you and Ashley, be it a three way or just imagining pretty and sweet you and the other girl making out, your soft tits squished together, your soft moans shushed by each other's soft lips </3 Yeah he's sleazy like that <//3

And yeah, Luis's part is very probable too! Despite being as much of a party animal like the rest of the guys, constantly smoking, drinking and partying (not to mention his nasty habit of flirting with anyone aviable) he actually takes his academics very seriously! He has a scholarship to uphold, not to mention his science research and pretty good chances at scoring a internship at Umbrella Corp. so he can't fuck it up!

...But he's still only human ey? I feel like due to the fact that Luis has 1000 thoughts running through his head per second some tiny details or errors may sometimes escape him, and one of those times that minor error almost costed him fucking up an assignment and 70% of his grade. Would have, if his 'princess charming' aka you, didn't step in and actually helped him by reluctantly reviewing his paper which quite literally saved his ass from Professor Wesker's wrath.

Luis was obviously thankful, praising you to high heavens and despite the obvious disdain you can admit that you kind-of tolerate Luis more than the rest of his friend group, you recognize a good student when you see one, besides you'd probably feel bad for Mr. Wesker if he had to listen to Luis's whining and explaining what he fucked up so it's better this way.

This doesn't save you from Luis's advances though! In fact he doubles down on them now that he realised that you hate him slightly less than the rest of his group! Yes yes Leon might have had a meltdown after finding out that you willingly (more or less) sat next to him in your shared class for an assignment you were paired up for but he will placate him with the secret photos he took of you to shut his friend up.

Also yes, he more than likely asked you to come over to his room for some...private tutoring, just you and him señorita~ And yes, the only thing he got back was a blank stare and a 'No thanks' but hey! Don't blame the shooter for shooting <3

[steveharrington]

major hornets nest moment here but i must speak my truth. its so fascinating to me how will byers was clearly written with the driving motivation and intention of making him a beloved fan favorite character and instead he falls so flat that, if you asked the average casual viewer of the show who doesn't engage in the fandom like, say, your coworker, the odds of him even being in their top five of favorite characters is pretty low.

will's disappearance kicks off the plot, singlehandedly. the first episode is literally called the vanishing of will byers. his name is shouted so much in the first season that most people would recognize the reference if you used the right cadence and desperation that winona ryder does. after not being featured much in season one, you'd think season two would've just like launched will/noah schnapp into stardom with how much more screentime he's given and how dramatic his plot is that season. but instead the fan favorites of season 2 were by and large el, hopper, dustin, steve, max, even bob who's barely there. that's not to say that there AREN'T will fans out there (and online i understand there are like entire armies dedicated to him/byler, but i'm talking about the average opinion of viewers as a whole, not just in fandom spaces) but think about all the stranger things merch you see in stores, the halloween costumes, the characters that appear in promotional materials when the show has partnerships with brands....will is so rarely featured. idk if any of yall ever got the chance to visit the stranger things pop up shop in any of its various locations, but there was such little mention of will in the stores theming or merchandise that it was almost funny. actually it WAS funny, to me, someone who does not care for him

i think the flop can be attributed to many things. one, noah schnapp is just not a very good actor and he doesn't have the same appeal in his performances that millie, sadie, caleb, gaten, priah, or finn do (although finn i've noticed is also kinda falling out of favor from majority audiences). one could argue that noah schnapp intentionally isn't given much to do, which is true and i'll circle back to that, but the decline in his acting between seasons 2 and 3 is truly a sight to behold. when he's not like tied up and screaming, he reallllllly struggles on the smaller scale performances compared to the other cast members his age. he doesn't really have the charm that gaten does or the humor that priah does or the depth that caleb does. (i don’t feel bad about saying this, btw, given noah schnapp’s behavior)

back to the vanishing of will byer's screen time. my beloved prettymuchit's eric striffler commented on how diminished will and mike's roles in the story have become in s4. "noah schnapp is below the grips on the call sheet" is my fav line, but he also makes an observation on finn's role that i think is soooo accurate. when mike and will are kneeling down next to the pizza dough freezer and watching el just kinda twitch while she fights vecna in her mind, eric and his co-host miles say "this is so embarrassing! finn's like, 'oh so gaten's fighting the monster? and i'm kneeling next to a tub at a pizza place? i used to be this show" and i think the same exact sentiment can be superimposed onto will

but i think this happened naturally, as the nature of the show is to shift its focus from character to character. not to mention the duffer brothers' obsession with tweaking their story to give audiences what they want. i've always held the belief that there isn't one main character of stranger things, rather a rotating circle of characters depending on the season you're watching. season one is mike, season two is hopper, season three is el, season four is max imo. again that's a little subjective and arguments could be made to swap those a little, but overall i think those characters stories and point of views take center stage during each of their respective seasons. by season 3, the duffers wanted to kick things up to a larger scale. the UD is no longer targeting just will, it's targeting the entire town. this works because a THIRD season in a row where this one kid specifically gets possessed would just be bonkers, so they kinda had to let him take a backseat. i'm not sure why they didn't let will be more involved in the mystery-solving portion of season 3....to this day that decision baffles me, but what's done is done and the will that everyone watched in season 3 literally just kinda follows everyone around and gets a small little slice of a plotline about wanting things to go back to normal, but alas

it like totally worked, though. though there are MANY complaints commonly made about season 3, i've never heard anyone offline complain that there wasn't enough will byers. i think the group in s3 that had the most success like, commercially, would be scoops troop and then a bit farther back i think most audiences enjoyed hopper/joyce/murray's dynamic. i think if there had been a huge outcry in the minimizing of will's role, the duffers would've backpedaled immediately. they aim to please. they can't even commit to killing of a main character out of fear that audiences will lose interest if we permanently lose hopper or max, so they just do some creative writing that allows them to milk the emotional consequence of those characters deaths without actually writing them off. if audiences on a large scale demanded that will be center stage, he would be. but they dont!

final point: i think will gets fucked over by the duffers obsession with romance. in season one, two of will's strongest dynamics are with his mom and brother. which like, yeah. theyre his immediately family and he is 12. but in seasons 2 and 3, jonathan spent all his screen time with nancy and from 2-4, joyce has spent all her screen time either with hopper or in the pursuit of finding hopper. these characters are written together as a package deal, typically. it was refreshing and unexpected to see jonathan get a whole season with a friend of his very own and his siblings, but they barely took advantage of that. jonathan and will get ummmm one (1) scene to talk about their emotions in a fucking 20 hour season. it's hard for will to be a main character when he rarely gets to interact with the people that make up the other half of his main dynamics.

as for byler, im of the belief that it will not be endgame because i just don't think they're going to break up mike and el at this point. i could be completely wrong and stand corrected, but im like 90% sure lol. i do think that will's s4 storyline resonated with a lot of people. even eric striffler! i think the issue is that the vastttt majority of people who watch this show above the age of like 15 do not feel invested about the romantic relationships between any of the kids. because why would they!!! theyre literally in middle school for 3/4 of the show. you would be hard pressed to find a vocal will stan online who doesn't also dedicate 90% of their engagement with the show to byler. which makes sense, because most if not all of will's scenes revolve around mike to some degree. but according to neilsen, the majority of stranger things audience is consistently in the 18-49 age range season by season. its more likely for adult audiences to identify with adults (or characters who are narratively treated like adults, like steve and nancy) than with any of the kids. esp when the kid in question, despite being written as the focal point of the show, has less relevant plotlines, less interaction with other characters, and an actor who just doesn't deliver on charm the way his fellow younger costars do

[merakiui]

bestie if you EVER make a full length fic for the isekai leech twins protag who is engaged to azul you have to do me a solid and tag me! i want it soooo bad please lmk if there are any more crumbs

I think it would be fun to write! I'll be sure to tag you if I ever do! :D although rather than just a oneshot, I'd like to make it a series. Perhaps something small with just a few chapters. Aaaa but the more I think about it, the more exciting the plot can become.

✧ Mr. Leech hires Mama Rosehearts to be your personal tutor, in which you're then introduced to her highly intelligent son Riddle. The two of you become friends; you're just trying to network, but to Riddle you're the best thing ever and one of his first friends. The twins hate this development.

✧ Mama Ashengrotto dotes on you SO MUCH. It embarrasses Azul, but his mother can't help it. She just thinks you're so darling and so kind to her Azul, something she appreciates greatly. Originally Azul had no interest in you, so she was responsible for coordinating meetings for the two of you.

✧ Mama Leech is especially fond of you. You're her only daughter, so of course she's pleased to bond with you more. She likes having mother-daughter days with you, where the two of you can dress up and have breakfast or sit in the gardens and read together. No boys allowed. The twins tried to sneak into the last mother-daughter outing and were promptly sent away. T_T they try to spy and are always caught. While she's happy that her boys want to spend time with you, she also wants to have one-on-one time with you as well! You can come to her if you have any issues; she'll always listen, and sometimes she worries that her boys aren't being nice. She makes sure they treat you with kindness all the time.

✧ Papa Leech has a soft spot for you. He treats you as if you're his own daughter. Anything you want you'll have, whether it's a dress or a necklace or, strangely, brass knuckles???? He's not sure why you want them, but you tell him they look cool (the truth is that you're getting them so you can ultimately prepare for the bad ending should that ever happen LOL). He gets them, but he makes you promise to only ever use them for self-defense purposes. Floyd thinks it's so unfair that his father spoils you so much when you aren't even related by blood. >:/

✧ After your engagement to Azul, the twins have seemed much more invested in your life than they were before. They're also very handsy. You shake them off, but your scowl has yet to deter them. They just seem like you're annoying brothers to you, but the truth is they're trying to keep you from bonding with Azul. Azul didn't really care about this at first, but now he feels oddly annoyed and jealous whenever he sees the way they interact with you.

✧ Floyd acts like he doesn't like you, but he's so bad at hiding his very obvious affections for you. He gets flustered whenever his parents dress you up for nice events. You just look so pretty and sweet in your dress. He prevents anyone from getting too close to you at these social events by constantly hovering by your side. Somehow Azul always manages to steal you away when he's also in attendance at these events.

✧ Jade has a collection of items stowed away in an unlabeled box. They are things he's collected over the years and would like to give to you: a pretty stone, a bracelet, a charm, a hair accessory, dried flowers, etc. Though he's good at seeming indifferent and cool, he gets really flustered over the idea of presenting you these courtship gifts. So he pays attention to your tastes as they change throughout the years he's known you, and he buys or makes a little present for you for every year. <3

[squiddy-god]

Twst cowboy/western AU

Omg ok so I have so many thoughts here we goooo!!! 

Tw: western Au! Mental illness, guns and gangs, I think that's it- this is a pretty wholesome au soooo

New tags! Town of Night Raven, twisted western, twst western!Au

Ok this au takes place in like the 1890’s in the small western town of Night Raven 

I'll go in order of the boys 

Riddle Rosehearts 

Managed to move away from his mama and go here, he still writes her but he's dead to her and it crushes him

He's a good ole english boy turned cowboy and night Raven is the only town that would take him 

He runs the town's stables and looks after the horses, acting as a sort of vet for their illnesses. Takes house calls to peoples farms so he can fix up their animals.

He has quite the temper and kicks like a horse himself 

Trey Clover 

Local dentist and doctor. 

Friends with Riddle but ain't much for horses

Definitely has this work cut out for him in this mess of a town. 

Came from the big city and knew Riddle as a kid before he moved back to London

Was shocked to see him in night Raven looking like he'd been dragged through hell 

Ace trapola 

Moved west for money and settled in night Raven only to never leave 

Causes a bunch of trouble for the law, always galavanting around town and getting in bar fights

Works at the stable with Riddle and deuce but barely is there to work and just messes around with the horses 

Punched riddle once when he first came to town and has not hit him since considering that Riddle got a lot better at fist fighting since you first came in

Deuce spade 

Used to be a gang outlaw before he came to night Raven and decide he wanted a quiet life to make his mama proud 

Hardest worker at the stables and dose all the lifting

Part time ranch hand out at the big farm Crowley owns 

Leona kingscolar

Runs a gang of outlaws and reeks quite a bit of havoc on night Raven

Came from a wealthy family but left the big city's to make his own path

Succeeded, his territory is pretty big in the West and he just needs night Raven to make it complete 

Only problem is night Raven has waring gang factions

A quick shot and a good rider

Ruggie bucci 

Used to be a street thief to support his town before Leona took over and things got better

Has been his errand boy and enforcer ever since 

Still steals but mostly from rich blokes he finds on the side of the rodes

He's a better shot than Leona, always has two 6 shots and a knife on him. 

Jack howl 

Honestly never wanted to be in a gang but Leona wouldn't leave him alone.

Only joined cause his family lives in a town Leona controls. 

Mostly works as a farm hand for Crowley because of his muscle

Is the one to break up epels bar fights all the time 

Has a mean right hook 

Azul ahsengrotto 

Runs the morstro saloon that he uses to conduct his under the table business. 

He co-owns it with vil

Octovinell is his gang, with jade too his right and Floyd to enforce his rules, 

Active in the night Raven gang wars but mostly just the dirty money he sweeps under the table for arms dealing and such 

jade leech 

Infamous leech brothers 

Escaped convicts that azul took in when they were first forming the gang. 

Handles most of the product side of things for the “business” and runs the front of the house with vil

Spent most of his early life taking care of Floyd and his troubled mind 

Floyd 

Troubled mind growing up, 

They ended up as orphans before they where 12 and had to fend for themselves

Killed three men in a town and ran, from place to place

7 bodies in total before they where caught and thrown in jail. 

Escaped and joined azuls gang at 17 and have been with him ever since. 

Relatively charming young man if you ignore the teeth and glare he sports in a bad mood 

Kalim al-hasim 

Moved west for peace and quiet and decided to bring Jamil along with him 

He's the kind but sort of naive shop owner

Runs the general goods store and has a real knack for business 

Partners with Crowley's farm to supply the store of most produce. 

If you need something bought or sold you either talk to kalim or azul 

Jamil Viper 

Resents kalim for dragging him west 

But he does like the freedom of the western deserts 

Works at kalims shop and chases off any of their more unruly customers (see : Leona and azuls gangs) 

Definitely learned how to shoot and became one of the best shots in town. 

Has his own horse named saffron who's just the most beautiful red! 

Vil schroheint 

Co-owns the salon with azul and runs the front of the house with jade! 

He's absolutely gorgeous, has a slight German accent and often gets mistaken for a lady. 

Was a singer and actor in Germany

Definitely a more effeminate man but after they watched him beat the snot out of some unruly customer they don't mention it. 

Rook calls him gorgeous. And that's it. 

Always mad at epel for bar fights 

Rook hunt 

Definitely a hunter

Always sells his game at kalims shop and always has the best catches

Most avoid him because he's an odd Fellow but no one can deny his skill at hunting. 

Follows vil around so much his nickname has become “the saloon owners dog” 

Epel felimer 

Farm hand at Crowley ranch after he quit working for vil. 

In this au he's a bit taller and more muscular

Realistically he's a strong farm boy, good at bucking hay and climbing trees. 

Mostly tends to the Apple trees but he also herds in the cattle 

Gets in a lot of bar fights 

Vil thinks he's too crass with his thick accent 

Idia shroud 

Rich city guy that moved here unwillingly 

But he's here and he's scared of the gangs

Mostly keeps to himself and is pretty paranoid 

Reads books like crazy, his little house is more of a library then it is a home- well ok it is the local bookstore but his room and or this are on the second story

Used to be quite the gunSlinger before ortho

Ortho shroud 

Takes care of his troubled brother and runs most of the errands! 

Brings home stray cats for idia and always plays with the dogs! 

He's a sweet boy who all but begs people to teach him to shot so he can be just like his big brother but no one budges 

Malleus draconia 

The marshal

With his black Stetson and those horns it has on it makes him look like the bloody devil

And to some he is. 

Really disomnia is more of a benevolent gang, but they enforce the law and keep things mostly peaceful 

Malleus himself is a sweet man but a scary one

All outlaws with territory bigger than leona could ever hope 

Lilia vanrouge 

Outlaw and ex mercenary before he settled down with disomnia 

Malleus right hand 

Fought in the war before he became a hired gun, then an old friend called in a favor and he raised malleus and settled down. 

Joined the gang malleus formed and was right into the thick of it. 

Now he's really settled, just a older gentleman raising his adopted son silver now. 

Silver vanrouge 

 The poor baby he found 

Technically Lilia is the one who made him an orphan but- he felt so bad he adopted silver. 

Now he's a strong young man who loves his pops 

A member of disomnia and works in the town as part of law enforcement occasionally

Besides that he helps Lilia with his little farm. A few cows and some goats, sheep and chickens. 

Nothing much but it still what he loves. 

Sebek zigvolt 

Joined disomnia after seeing Lilia and melleus in a shoot out and becoming an instant devotee 

Works full time as law enforcement. 

Has a penchant for trying to break up bar fights but ends up getting roped into them on accident. 

Denies it but he's so gentle with the horses it's insane to think it's the same boy always yelling and shouting. 

Dire Crowley 

Mayor of the town and a shady one too. 

Pays off all three gangs so they don't kill each other 

Runs a big farm on the outskirts of town that supplies a lot of work. 

Comes into town often but no one likes him much

Definitely a few skeletons in the closet. 

[transient-winds]

SUMMER BBQ ITS SUMMER BBQ TIME 🎉🥳

this is most definitely going to be 80% me yapping about (and going feral over) Sakura and how much of a good boy he is. No analysis just pure babbles. 

Wind Breaker Chapter 159 Spoilers ahead!

It’s been a month since the Noroshi Arc (making it July as of canon times) and Bofurin had been working tirelessly in repairing the collateral damages to the town and the school.

Not surprising, but I’m a little (read: a lot) salty Noroshi faced no repercussions or helped in any of that (at least to the current knowledge we have). But I also; if I were a resident of Makochi and I see even any members from them right after, I would absolutely start chasing them down with my slippers. My stamina be damned. 

As this chapter title suggests, it’s finally time for that summer barbecue!! And with more people to enjoy it with, they all deserve it honestly. Speaking of, this heavily implies the rooftop garden remained intact after everything and thank heavens for that.

I love love LOVE how the townsfolk are also catering in this get-together, all the familiar faces I'm seeing and KOTOHA! SHE’S BACK AFTER SO LONG 🥹🥹

And she immediately gets flustered by Ume, big brother is happy his little sister is here. Look at her pretty blushing face.

AND LOOK AT THIS, PEOPLE LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING SAKURA!! AND HE’S GRILLING!! MY SWEET SPRING CHILD. I love him so much you guys, it’s like watching a baby bird leave the nest.

The reveal that Sakura, still healing from his injuries, went to thank their allies personally in the aftermath because he went to them for help is so, soooo,, 

how are we supposed to look at Sakura and not love him when he does such heartfelt things like this. AND THEN STAYS AND HANGS OUT WITH ROPPO ICHIZA & SUZURI. ON HIS OWN!!

This chapter brought out deep feelings within me for more Suzuri and Sakura interactions, please I beg. Look how soft Suzuri is with Sakura, his cat whisperer charms are working on Bofurin’s resident stray cat. I’d like to think he and Sakura would get along well in sharing advice and experiences when it comes to their frugal lifestyle, I know I would. Nothing quite gets people together than your shared experiences with being or having been financially poor 😃👍.  

And oh, how I so dearly miss class 1-1 interactions. The teasing! The laughter! THE SMILES! Everything is right in the universe and I can transcend to a higher plane of existence peacefully. 

Togame and Choji coming over to talk next chapter. Gahhh I missed them too, I wanna pinch Choji’s cheeks so bad. He’s definitely the type to have bad table manners haha.

—

This chapter made me lightheaded with how well and happy everyone is, I was smiling at my screen the entire time which I’m sure we all can agree. I’m singing Nii-sensei’s praised (and everyone who worked so hard on this chapter) to the rooftops for the wind-down chapter we all needed, especially after that rollercoaster of an arc. (There's other small things I wanted to mention here but I'll make them individual posts instead.)

[afuntimepartyy]

Dandys world wings of fire!!! Since there’s so many in the post I’m not going into full descriptions but here they are! Def want to revise tisha a bit to give her slightly more obvious icewing traits and a wider rectangle shape. And cosmo isn’t feeling cosmo to me yet, so I’ll be revising him too but yay! (Astro will get really tiny changes probably, giving his cloak that copies his blanket a hood so he can have SOMETHING on his bald head)

Each characters and their tribes though because some of them are cut off

Sprout - Leafwing / Skywing, powerful leafspeak but no skywing abilities. Has big wings though! Currently not under dandys control

Astro - Nightwing / Seawing, born with powerful mind reading to the point of being able to go into others dreams. Animus cursed by dandy with powerful future sight with good intentions, the first to be controlled by dandys own silly version of evil leafspeak. Can’t breath underwater, can’t even breath fire! But can fully speak aquatic if he wanted to.

Dandy - Rainwing / Leafwing, born with absolutely no leafspeak and can’t spit venom but he does have full color changing abilities. Second active threat on the island, supposed to be the “friendly face” you can trust.

Vee - Hivewing / Silkwing, Hivewing stingers in tail and wrists with the abilities that comes with having silkwings antennae. Not under dandys control, but no friendly face either.

——

Cosmo - mudwing, distant nightwing which manifests in some star shaped patterns! Not under dandys control and is actively protected by sprout. Sprout used his animus magic once and that was to create a charm for him to makes sure dandy won’t hurt him

Tisha - Icewing / Leafwing, came to the island with teagan and was her childhood friend and maid. Originally assigned to Teagan as a dragonet to keep them company, and just sorta became her personal maid when they got older. No leafwing ability’s and is cold to the touch. Has icewings frost breath though weakened by her leafwing genes. Not under dandys control

Rodger - Nightwing with future sight, detective and came to the island to get answers. Toodles was not supposed to come with him, but she managed to sneak by and now him and toodles, teagan, and tisha are stuck on the island thanks to vee. Had an ear torn in his youth and early detective days, which is also how he got his eye scar. Not under dandys control.

Glisten - Silkwing / sandwing, pretty much all Silkwing abilities. Has a sandwing barb but it’s ineffective and small, so no sandwing scorpion action going on. Yada yada I already talked about him. His design and traits are made to mirror (heh) vee though, soooo… not under dandys control

Flutter - silkwing, just a small fat fluffy silkwing with big ol eyes. Currently under dandys control, though wasn’t drawn with that in mind (all drawings of these dragons are before things go REALLY bad so far). Overcome by flowers instead of vines.

For your patience with my rambling have some of the design processes for their shapes

[writingdisposal]

Vox is soooo fucking hot dude

Vox as a regular romantic interest is pretty bad already, but as a yandere? He is insufferable. Of course, he will keep an eye on you wherever you go, even before you really meet him. I don't think Vox would use his powers to achieve his goal of pursuing you. It seems more that he would use it as a "last-didge" effort to secure you, but for that to occur Vox would have to be incompetent. He is anything but that.

You will fall for his charisma, his smooth voice that is so addicting to listen to, especially when he compliments you so well every chance he gets. Vox will make sure, whatever you see of him is nothing, but absolute perfection. Any show you watch starring him will be subtly be about how good of a partner he would be. A cook show where Vox creates your favourite meals. Another show talking about famous celebrities' relationships where Vox occasionally sprinkles in a "I don't know about you folks, but I can't imagine doing something like that!" when the relationship has some sort of drama to it.

I also imagine he would force some sort of meeting, assuming there is zero connection he and the other Vees have to you. Maybe he will make some low-life try robbing you and the 'oh-so' charming TV host Hell can't get enough of is there to save you. Maybe he just 'randomly' finds you sleeping in some alleyway, down on your luck, and he graciously offers you a job at his company. Or maybe he does an interview on Hell's population to see what their opinion is on the newest Voxtech.

Either way this man will find a way and have you fall for him. For the first few months he will even act the part of a loving and supportive partner. Over time though, Vox will change.

As usual Vox was monitoring the viewing charts as well as the money generated from the shows. Even though he was focused, he heard the elevator bringing someone up. No need to look, Vox knew who wanted to visit. "Hello babe," he said, still tapping away on the keyboard, "missed me that much, heh?" Giggling you hugged him from behind, "I can't hide anything from you, can I?" "No, you can't," Vox turned to you, kissing up your arm, "Mind helping me out a little here? I'm really tensed up and need some relaxing." You blush, pushing him back a little.

You wanted to tell him no, but he pulled you back with enough force to make you fall on his chair. He kissed your cheek. "Come on sweetheart, I've always been so good to you," Vox reminded you, static echoes scratchng his voice, "You should be more loving, you know." He was right. He was always so sweet to you and its time to repay the kindness. Even though it doesn't feel right, you will give in. You always will until it feels normal.

Once he knows you won't leave anymore, Vox will have outbursts in front of you. And because you are so used to his hot and cold attitude, you will find a weird mix of fear and attractiveness in his screams. Especially outbursts involving Alastor will be scary. Sometimes Vox forgets the position he is in and get rough with you. Of course, in instances like these he will apologise afterwards, but that might be the only times where the picture had so carefully painted crumbles.

If you ever decide to leave, Vox will know and put measurements to prevent it. It will be relatively successful, but once you're gone, Vox uses every available resource to secure you back. He will call everything just regular quarrel between lovers. The only sanctuary you might find is in the Hazbin Hotel, but this will lead to a smear campaign by Vox, so your stay is going to be questioned frequently.

Your chances of getting away from Vox are low and he will make sure, you realise he will forever be the better option in this godforsaken place, so be sweet and go to him willingly before he forces you to go.

[jessicalprice]

all hail her excellent braids

Christians: omg first century Judaism was soooo misogynistic but Jesus was like the first feminist because he treated women like people

Jews: what

Christians: like, Jewish men would cross to the other side of the street to avoid having to be too close to women

Jews: hang on do you think there were, like, sidewalks in first-century Jerusalem?

Christians: and Jewish women weren't supposed to be seen in public

Jews: that's not how--

Christians: and men weren't even supposed to talk to women, but Jesus had female followers <3

Jews: first-century Jewish women owned their own businesses and represented themselves in court and, like, how are you imagining business got done if they weren't allowed to talk?

President Jimmy fucking Carter: first century Jews were basically the Taliban

A bazillion seminary textbooks: yup, the Pharisees were obsessed with ritual purity and viewed women as inherently unclean and Jesus upended all that Pharisaic hatred of women and that's why they wanted him dead

Shlomtzion, aka Salome Alexandra, has entered the chat.

Ahem, let me tell you about the Pharisee Queen.

So back in the day, the Pharisees were a tiny, persecuted movement because the King of Judah, Alexander Jannaeus hated them. He straight-up massacred 6,000 of them when they pelted him with fruit after he mocked them by performing a Sukkot ritual incorrectly, which kicked off a whole civil war. He won the war, and slaughtered the wives and children of 800 of the surviving Pharisees as entertainment at his victory feast before crucifying the men. The remaining Pharisees went into hiding.

Just a charming dude.

Alexander Jannaeus was married to Salome Alexandra (Shlomtzion, in Hebrew).

Her brother was Shimon ben Shetach, the leader of the Pharisees. (If you're getting Esther vibes here, that's probably not accidental.

She doesn't seem to have had much power while Alexander Jannaeus was alive, but she managed to help hide and protect the surviving Pharisees.

This doesn't seem to have negatively impacted her relationship with her husband, because he named her--rather than any of his sons--his heir while he was on his deathbed.

He was in the middle of conducting a siege of Ragaba when he died, so like the incredible badass she was, became queen--and would be both only the second queen regnant of Judah and the last sovereign Jewish monarch--on the battlefield, in the midst of hostilities.

She had to conceal her husband's death until she'd won the day.

As soon as she made his death public, she reached out to the Pharisees to make peace between them and the throne, avoiding a popular uprising at his funeral. The funeral went off smoothly, and she immediately began settling other political disputes and enmities.

She also hung out and studied with the Pharisees. We know this because Josephus, an ardent misogynist, absolutely hated that she did this, just like he absolutely hated that she had ruled Judah, and wrote about it.

Josephus had been a Sadducee (main opposing party to the Pharisees), but switched to the Pharisees later in life for political expediency. He never seemed to actually like them, though.

He tells on himself so much.

"Oh, people love the Pharisees because they are humane and flexible interpreters of the law and practice what they preach and this is a BAD THING!"

Literally, on Shlomtzion: "Woman though she was, she established her authority by her reputation for piety."

Like, everyone respected her and did what she said because she actually gave a shit about ethics and somehow this is a BAD thing.

She averted war with Egypt by buddying up to Cleopatra (I am so headcanoning them as pen pals, writing each other to vent about all the men they have to deal with) and somehow this is a BAD thing.

So she takes the throne and manages to keep things running pretty smoothly in a precarious time because she's good at organizing AND military strategy AND diplomacy and here's Josephus on her relationship with the Pharisees:

"She paid too great heed to them, and they, availing themselves more and more of the simplicity of the woman, ended by becoming the effective rulers of the state... "

Ah yes, FlavJo, she sounds very "simple," what with the incredible military and diplomatic skills.

While she wasn't averse to fighting when she needed to, she mostly averted possible battles by fortifying and provisioning cities so well that neighboring monarchs opted not to attack them, so she was also just slaying at project management. She ended a bunch of the foreign wars her asshole husband started, and scrupulously kept to the terms of any treaties Judah was party to.

Her reign was possibly the most prosperous and peaceful period in Judah's history.

She gave the Sadducees (her husband's party) their own fortified cities so they'd stop feuding with the Pharisees, and took the Pharisees from a small, persecuted populist movement in hiding to one of the major political parties.

She set up a system of universal public education, putting the responsibility for educating the kids on the government, not families, to make sure it wasn't just rich kids getting a solid education. She re-established the Sanhedrin (the Supreme Court, basically) and made sure every town under her rule had access to judges.

And then one of her asshole sons, who apparently took after his asshole dad, decided HE would be a better ruler than she was, and DECLARED WAR ON HIS OWN MOM. She died, apparently of an illness, in her 70s.

She died as the last free Jewish ruler.

So then that asshole son went after the other asshole son, and they turned to the Romans for help.

(You want to get occupied? This is how you get occupied.)

Yes, that's right, they committed one of the classic blunders: inviting the Romans in.

THE ROMANS ARE LIKE VAMPIRES. DO NOT INVITE THEM IN.

Anyway, we all know how THAT turned out.

In rabbinic literature, she's almost a fertility goddess figure, or a personification the land itself, or a monarch beloved by G-d possibly moreso than any other, since the rest of them all screwed up and the Jews got punished with war or exile or famine or disease: legend claims that during her reign, rain only fell on Shabbat, so people didn't have to work in the rain. Grains of wheat grew to the size of kidneys, and lentils were the size of gold denarii. The people knew joy like we've never known since and were healthy and prosperous and at peace.

She was praised by contemporaries such as Josephus as having greater intelligence, political skill, and military acumen than the men around her (although Josephus, an ardent misogynist, later decided that it was inappropriate for her to rule), and the stories of Esther, Judith, and Susanna may have been written (or in the case of Esther, edited and codified) in her honor. 

​Anyway, the Pharisees' teachings remained especially popular among women, and the person who saved them (and thus, by extension, Judaism, when they were the ones to preserve it in exile) and brought them to power and was their beloved patron was a woman, and maaaaaaybe Christians don't know the first thing about women in first-century Judaea or the Pharisees and women and should shut up, idk.

All hail Shlomtzion and her most excellent braids.

[jeankirsteinsgirl]

hii you're doing requests?? how about hc/drabbles or whatever about cowboy Jean? 💕💕

of course love!

Cowboy Jean HCs

CW: cowboy jean, country coded, fem reader, slight nsfw, drunk sex, mention of alcohol, MDNI!!

A/N: this will hopefully be the first of many requests i answer because i’m a lot less busy now so i will be answering as many requests as possible!!

- So he acts all tough right

- but he’s down bad for you

- King of wearing jeans allll the time kinda annoying like does he have any other clothes??

- super hot when he’s all dirty from working all day and he’s all sweaty 🤭🤭

- STRONG from working all the time around the farm, can lift super heavy, has super strong hands and arms and don’t get me started on his back muscles

- takes his shirt off when it gets too hot outside for him to be in his flannel and he’s ripped ugh

- Super charming it’s annoying always calling saying “yes ma’am” “baby” “darling”

- never misses the chance to compliment you “looking good in those shorts gorgeous. Put ‘em on just for me?”

- Somehow smells good even though he’s dirty all the time. smells like tobacco and vanilla

- smokes all the time even though you told him it’s bad for him but you can’t lie it’s hot when he takes long drags while staring at you

- such pretty eyes omg. they’re such a contrast from his tough manly cowboy aesthetic

- such pretty brown doe eyes and long lashes that just stare into your soul and the way he looks at you omg

- always insists on picking you up even when you have a car and can drive yourself

- picks you up in his old rusty pick up truck that he got from his dad that’s super loud you can hear it pulling up from a mile away

- keeps his hand on your thigh the whole time he’s driving and rubs little circles into your thigh subconsciously bc he loves touching you

- chivalrous king

- opens every door for you and motions with his hand while he watches you walk through

- refers to you as “his girl” when talking about you to anyone

- loves when you wear his clothes, he thinks it’s so cute watching you walk around in his flannels

- loves when you give his clothes back because they smell like you

- gets flirted with all the time unfortunately. all the girls in your hometown have a huge crush on jean and we’re so mad when he got with you

- but he constantly reassures you you are the only one he wants and he would never even consider being with anyone else

- acts all cocky and confident but is secretly so obsessed with you and would do anything for you

- pays for everything ofc he’s a gentleman and gets upset of you offer to pay bc only pussies let their girls pay for things

- his breath smells soooo good and he tastes good too bc he’s always chewing gum or drinking whiskey

- secretly so romantic and that side of him comes out when you’re hooking up

- would kiss every inch of your body to show how much he loves you and that he thinks you’re the most beautiful person alive

- constant praise and compliments “how you’re so fucking perfect” “my pretty girl” “such a good girl for me aren’t you?”

-still a little cocky in the bedroom bc he’s good and he knows it

- you can feel his muscles flexing under your fingers while you scratch your nails into his back

- biggest dick you’ve ever seen lmao

- a good 7-8 inches but it’s thick

- focuses on your pleasure first ofc

- makes you cum multiple times until he’s satisfied

- stretches you out with his fingers to prepare you for his cock bc he wants you to be able to take all of him

- god his fingers are long and rough with callouses and he hits every spot perfectly he knows exactly how to make you cum for him

- “that’s it baby, does that feel good huh? You gonna cum for me already?” while he kisses all down your body

- drunk sex constantly bc he def likes going to the bar and drinking on his porch

- wants you to sit on his lap while he’s drinking on the porch and gets all pouty and upset of you say no :(

- puts his arm around you anytime you walk around any other guys bc he’s sooooo possessive and needs them to know that you’re his

- make out sessions all the time

- would be like “cmon baby just give me a little kiss” then has you moaning into his mouth for him with his hands all over you

- was super cocky before you were dating, he knew you had a huge crush on him and would use that to his full advantage

- would tease you as much as possible, taking his shirt off in front of you on purpose, running his fingers through his hair, rolling his tongue in his cheek while staring at you, looking you up and down constantly

- heavy sleeper lol and accidentally rolls on top of you all the time

- loves cuddling you and borderline smothering you in his arms

[t4tails]

MOSHI MONSTER MUSIC RANKED FROM GARBAGE TO MASTERPIECE

19. ponies

theyre just saying ponies over and over again in an autotuned voice. hyperpop for eight year olds except without the charm

18. shishis lullaby

once again the simplicity is its downfall... there is nothing going on here! somebody get shishi a hankey!!

17. bad to the biscuit

i do NOT like how he yells gimme those gummy buttons :/

16. shoney the amazin blazin raisin

shoney is a menace to moshi society. what a nothingburger of a song

15. go do the hoodoo

i actually think this one slaps but the racism definitely knocks it down significantly. i wish they werent like that because dont look now but i think i heard a twig crack 🕺

14. coco loco

gets a groove going and then RUINS it with a BURP joke. STAY IN YOUR FUCKING LANE

13. moshi twistmas

ill freely admit the vocals in this one kind of suck because of the childrens chorus but i think it has charm the ones lower than it lack... its cute

12. the pooky song

EEEEEEEGGGGGGSHEEEELLLLLSSSS 🏳️‍⚧️

11. the moshi dance

okay this one fucks. we are getting into fucks territory. the bangers. this one gets held back by the weird fucking baby lyrics is all... i understand its the joke but i do not want to hear lady googoos voice like that. but then the chorus hits and yessss bitch

10. i heart moshlings

this ones adorable but im not a fan of the soft singing. and the chorus prioritizes the gimmick over rhymes so it feels a little clunky, but the mv is soooo cute ^_^

9. diggin ya lingo

the hip hop genre does not gel well here but once again the chorus is so groovy i cant help but do a little shimmy. a little shakin

8. sweet tooth stomp

im not as big a fan of this as some others but i can appreciate game. and sweet tooth has game

7. head over heels

the worse of zack binspins iconic singles. but this ones pretty hilarious like why is blingo such an asshole 🤨

6. the iggy chomp

i have no excuse for this being so high up. im literally dancing to this like its 2009. sorry

5. the missy kix dance

i never heard this one as a kid but its suoer catchy. missys adorable too. she should stay away from zack binspin. she deserves better than him

4. do the doodle

LETS FUCKING GO MR SNOODLE 😩 hes so real. this unironically bangs it fucks it goes hard do the doodle mr snoodle live ur truth

3. moptop tweenybop

this is the one that personally gets stuck in my head the most but the ones above it have better artistry so it gets 3rd. i wake up at 2am on the regular with this chorus haunting my mind

2. uptown fifi

the STYLE the GRACE the sleekness...! and it tells a story about a cute little diva dog? what is not to love!!

okay not to be predictable but somehow the "villains songs are always the best" rule continues even in moshi monsters. 10/10 thank you moshi for these fantastic songs

1. dr strangeglove