#he's so horrified at himself

[softquietsteadylove]

Something spicy is in the air!

I bet Gilgamesh had at least once a very wet dream about him and Thena. And when he wakes up, Thena sleeping next to him, he realizes he has a problem in his pants and wants to get rid of it.

You choose the AU xoxo

Gil groans, moving faintly as he hovers the line between asleep and awake. He feels restless, but he also doesn't want to get up yet. He can smell something sweet, like vanilla. And he's warm, but his front is warmer than his back. It's really warm--it's hot.

Gil's eyes shoot open as he feels that familiar - and in this case, uncomfortable - stickiness. He lets out a different kind of groan. What is he--a fourteen year old having a fucking wet dream?

It gets worse when he realises Thena is still snuggled into his arms, her ass pressed directly against him. That explains the terrible predicament he's in, at least, but it doesn't help him feel better about it.

Gil buries his nose in her amazing hair, although even this feels wrong, now. He's burning bright red, he's sure, but he has more embarrassing things to worry about. He moves his hips back from her, attempting to extricate himself without the potential humiliation.

Thena senses the absence of his warmth and moves towards him again in her sleep. "Gil."

His blush isn't going anywhere. No wonder he got hard--hard to completion, which still horrifies him. He makes an effort to keep Thena as far away from his groin as possible. "Sweetie, I gotta get up."

"No," she whines. Ah yes, his little sleep talker.

"Yes," he chuckles, doing his best to move gently and quietly and also keep his hands hovering around the front of his pants. He winces, feeling even more keenly just how much is there.

"Stay," Thena whispers out, still attempting to cling to him. She even rolls over to grasp at him. "Warm."

Gil averts his eyes from the plush fullness of her breasts, evident even in her scrubs. His ears are burning. "I'm sorry, Sweetheart. Just for a minute, okay? I'll be back."

Thena makes a kind of disgruntled sound of disagreement, but doesn't bring up another argument.

Gil shimmies out of his hoodie and leaves it for her to cuddle. It seems to satiate her need, letting him slip away and off the end of the on-call bed. He smiles as she buries her nose in it; she has no idea how cute she is.

Gil pokes his head out, making sure no one is around. He crosses the hall and walks cautiously, somewhat hunched with his hands clasped in front of him. He manages to make it to the break room. A change of clothes will have to suffice in place of a cold shower, for now.

Pieces of his dream float back to him, although he kind of wishes they wouldn't. It's nothing detailed, mostly hazy images, the sounds of breath in his ear. Pale skin contrasting full, pink lips-

Gil splashes some cold water from the sink onto his face in an attempt to shock himself. He switches out his underwear and his work pants, bundling up the others into a pocket of his bag for laundry at home. He hasn't experienced an incident like this in forever.

Gil--Thena's voice is in his head, although the way she's saying is...very different. He leans against the sink again, hoping to re-center his thoughts a little. Hoping not to think about Thena like that.

Thena pressed up against him. Thena's lips on his neck. Thena in his arm, letting out little sighs that make his whole body tighten. Thena...just Thena.

Gil splashes his face a few more times before daring to head back to the on-call room. He's not going to think about it anymore, he decides. He's just not!

"Thena?" he whispers, testing to see if she's awake. And if she is, then he's ready to say that he just had to go to the bathroom. Which he did--it's not really a lie.

She's still fast asleep, though. It charms him that Thena, usually a light sleeper, can become properly knocked out when they're napping together. He likes to imagine that it's because she feels safe when she's with him, able to turn off the doctor part of her brain that's been trained to be alert at a moment's notice.

Gil sighs as he takes her in, in all her beauty. He brushes some hair back for her.

"Gil?"

"Hey, baby," he whispers, able to settle himself into the bed again without much trouble. "I didn't wake you, did I?"

Thena just buries her face in his chest once it's available to her, shaking it a little to really get in there.

"Good," Gil smiles, kissing her hair as he settles in again. It's not as if they have all the time in the world. He's on a mandatory break between back to back shifts, and she's on call for the next six hours.

This is just a little slice of paradise they've managed to find for themselves.

"Love you," Thena sighs as she grabs a hold of him, refusing to let him leave their little nest again.

Gil chuckles. This woman is going to kill him with how adorable she is. He wraps his arms around her, securing her to him, "I love you too, Honey."

She won't remember any of this later, which is probably a good thing. But he likes to think that she still means it.

[archi-pelago]

maybe never forgive. but things are different now. so we'll use maybe.

[brainrotcharacters]

wade's undiagnosed ADHD (giggling everytime Logan stabs him) is only ever matched by Logan's undiagnosed autism (stabbing Wade with his claws when he's overstimulated)

[quadrantadvisor]

Thinking about DP x DC Jason Todd being a revenant again. Here's my scenario. Jason gets called that by some ghost. He's like "what the fuck is that supposed to mean?" He's heard the term before but he doesn't know any actual lore. He googles it. He scrolls past the Leonardo DiCaprio bear movie. He opens the wiki. Sees the words "animated corpse" and gets a chill diwn his spine. He starts reading the first section.

He closes Wikipedia.

That night he has a nightmare that his family buried him, again, this time with precautions. He wakes up in his own grave, full of stones, too heavy to move, to scream.

[lilislegacy]

percy, walking in the door: what smells so good?

annabeth, beaming: i made you every type of blue dessert that i could think of!

percy: oh yeah? what’s the occasion? oh crap, did i forget an anniversary?

annabeth: can’t a wife just bake for her husband?

percy, staring at her:

annabeth, staring at him:

percy, firmly: wise girl, we are not having another baby.

annabeth, frustrated: oh come on percy! why not?

percy: we’ve talked about this. we agreed to be done years ago. we have three, and they’ve destroyed half of our belongings! i mean, sure it would be fun, and i love babies and having kids with you, but we can’t just—

annabeth: if you agree to another baby, i’ll agree to another dog.

percy:

annabeth:

percy: are you bribing me into having a child?

annabeth: of course not! …why? is it working?

percy: of course not! but… keep talking.

annabeth: we can get a brand new little puppy. and you can choose both the breed and the name. maybe you can finally get that shepherd mix you’ve always wanted.

percy, rubbing his beard and thinking:

percy: you know, i’ve heard the transition from 3 to 4 kids is super easy. the little one would probably just fit right in.

annabeth: exactly. and since we’re so busy, my pregnancy will fly by. and the labor will be super fast since it’s my 4th. it’ll all happen in the blink of an eye. we’ll hardly even notice.

percy: true. then the baby and the puppy can just entertain each other.

annabeth: they’ll practically cancel each other out. and this way we’ll have an even number of kids.

percy, pointing at her: good for roller roasters.

annabeth, pointing at him: and family game nights.

[teamunee]

Dont cry, Shizun.

[bunnieswithknives]

OK JUST A LITTLE THING BECAUSE IM INSANE @cubbihue

Song: Plastic by Cheekface

[izzystizzys]

There is a scratch mark on the floor of the Council chambers that Mace has never noticed before. Not a deep one, mind, quite shallow. This matters because it’s making the white-hot pulse of agony stabbing through his eyeballs ebb momentarily. Then, he chances a glance upwards at the fidgeting Knight in front of them, and it returns in full force.

Huh, he’s never seen Oppo Rancisis’ face turn that colour before.

“Hmm”, Master Yoda hums, deep and scratchy. His expression is unreadable even to Mace beyond a baseline gremlinness, and the force with which he grips the edges of his seat is making his bones creak. Master of the Order you should become, they said. Follow the calling of the Force, you should. A fulfilling purpose, it will be. Mace is going to hunt the little goblin for sport when this is all over, and he’s going to laugh the whole time.

“Show us the livestream again, could you, Knight Parvo?” Yoda asks. Mace bursts a capillary, he’s pretty sure, and so does poor Knight Parvo, whose orange Mon Cala skin tips all the way into blood red with stress. “Most unusual, this is.”

“Absolutely not!”, Ki Adi intervenes before Mace has to, thank the Force for little mercies. Plo Koon’s tusks tremble slightly with either suppressed laughter or abject horror, maybe both, and Stass Allie has her head in her hands. “The holo stills should be enough”, Ki Adi proceeds to add, and Mace has to reconsider all feelings of grace he just felt towards his fellow Councillor.

He never wants to watch Yoda zoom in on someone’s abs again. Or Depa raise her eyebrows at the curve of thighs bent over the dripping front of a speeder.

“Speeder Wash For Our Troops”, his former padawan reads out loud from a still of what has to be hundreds of the things gathered in the public senate parking lot. “Fund Our Boys And Get A Wet Seeing-To!” The series of images features dozens of Coruscant Guard troopers in various stages of unkitted, gleaming and shining with soap suds and water. The fact that the whole thing is also massive shatterpoint after massive shatterpoint is, quite frankly, insulting.

“Well hello- oh dear”, Obi-Wan’s blue form crackles to life in his chair, followed by several sounds of choking that are definitely not him. Good, Mace thinks acidly. If he has to deal with this, then so does kriffing Skywalker. “I’m sorry, why am I looking at Commander Thorn using a washrag like a lasso on top of a speeder?”

“Oh, the Guard’s little fundraising project”, Bail Organa says, as he steps into the Council chambers. Normally, Mace likes the man well enough. Now, he just smiles and adds on, “I’ve already donated, in mine and Breha’s name. Remotely, of course.”

“The Guard’s fundraising speeder wash?”, Obi-Wan repeats, edges of his holo form flickering with what Mace suspects is Skywalker very unsubtly trying to edge in. Force, but the man really is horrible at any and all stealth, like kissing his secret wife in an open arena in front of his Master. “And they are fundraising for…?”

“GAR budget allocations have to come from somewhere”, Organa shrugs. “And with the tide of public opinion turning, they’ve been tending towards cuts. The Guard feels them more keenly than any other sector - they’ve been reduced from half to quarter rations, and medical supplies have not made more than a token appearance in the last draft. The Chancellor has cancelled three consecutive meetings on the matter, and thus it was agreed that a more hands-on approach was needed. Any surplus will go into the Army fund.”

“Surely it can’t be that dire”, Oppo protests, a slightly less concerning shade of purple now. Senator Organa shrugs again, jostling the smattering of cracks slowly building around his person in a way that makes Mace wince quietly. “It’s all publicly available data, Masters.”

It really can be that dire, as it turns out. And quarter rations is only scratching the surface of how dire, considering the Guard has apparently never had access to bacta in all their posting, and also includes requisitioning forms available to the Senate for reconditionings and decommissionings, two words Mace has only heard Ponds whispers amidst shuddering in the early days of the war before Shaak Ti went off and just about tore some throats out over it.

“Alright”, he concedes, rubbing at his temples. “Fair enough, we have failed to tackle a massive blind spot in the Guard’s well being. There is no Jedi assigned to Coruscant, and that’s an oversight on our behalf. But how in the everloving kriff did this get past the Chancellor and Commander Fox?!”

Who have both signed, black on white. Bail Organa smiles cryptically. “Well, if you scroll a bit past that one image, up to the industrial speeder in the back - Commander Fox is currently having credits stuffed into his codpiece in the back, I believe.”

“HE’S WHAT IN THE WHAT NOW”, Commander Cody screeches through the speaker of Obi-Wan’s holo image, and Mace has to summon every bit of Jedi-serenity he possesses in his body to keep from dropkicking a cackling Yoda through the chamber windows.

[saintarmand]

armand according to louis: sexy professor with a knife and handcuffs on his belt

armand according to claudia: mob boss sending you bullets in the mail

armand according to daniel: if the predator from predator was a manic pixie dream girl

armand according to lestat: screaming baby clinging to your leg but his eyes are completely black

[introspectivememories]

tim mentioning what they did to him in his torture session: so yeah they had this thick chain out that they'd hit me with

bear who's brain has literally been rewired from the cult: huh ,they had u on they easy stuff . god i remember my first time. they started with the barbed whip and then they pulled out the brass knuckles! but im glad u only got the easy stuff baby

tim, horrified, head turning like he's in a horror movie: ..... they did what to you?

[vaggieslefteye]

ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴍᴇ ᴄʜᴏᴏꜱᴇ ↳ anonymous asked: HUSK and ALASTOR or angel and valentino?

[aziraphale-is-a-cat]

Can I get some chaotic fucking danny? Not like quirky weirdo, but like erratic behavior, too many teeth, laughing at inappropriate times, twitchy, unstable thermodynamic lawyer vibes?(strangers think he's an addict)

In the time since amity park was destroyed, danny slowly became less and less human. Felt no need to act normal or to try to spare the delicate constitutions of the poor humans who found themselves interacting with him. Just pure, unhinged eccentricity.

He's a powerful ally to the JLD, but not one often called on. Zattana finds herself dealing with him when they have to cross paths bc if she let John do it he'd try to strangle the damn thing.

But one day they have no choice and have to summon him on a mission that includes the young justice or teen titans team which has them super fucking worried about how he would interact with kids, but as soon as he sees the baby team he just acts,,, normal????

And after that they're never able to convince their sidekicks that there is a genuine reason that they don't like Danny bc to them he's a run of the mill teenage super, nothing weird gross or unsettling to be seen, meanwhile the Justice league regularly has to put up with a nightmare taken human form.

[slavhew]

you win. try again?

[the-girl-with-too-many-ideas]

Unpopular opinion, If the story was told from Shen Jiu's perspective, svsss would be a horror and Shen Yuan the villain.

I mean, you're talking about someone who had little to no automony their entire childhood. Who was a slave and suffered unspeakable horrors at the hands of his master to the point of developing a fear of men. Who knows what it is like to have no control over your body or what happens to it.

So, to be not only kicked out of his body, but forced to watch as someone else occupies and uses it (arguably doing and becoming everything he was rumored to have been and done) would be viscerally horrific.

(This is why I firmly believe that YQY would take the Shen Yuan revelation badly. He was a slave too, and without a doubt, knows how much Shen Jiu valued his freedom and autonomy above everything else. He would be so horrified and devastated to learn that his Xiao Jiu was stripped of both again while he stood by and did nothing again.)

[moderndaypandora]

Hob is going to come home one day two months into Dream's retirement (and seven weeks into their marriage) and Dream's going to be full Victorian maiden on the chaise lounge, arm covering his eyes.

Hob, who is not a fool: Want to talk about it, or want to be consumed by the agonies for a little while longer while I prepare dinner? You got groceries, right?

Dream: [horrible groaning dirge of assent]

Hob: I'm starting to get a little concerned, dearest

Dream: I went out to. Obtain groceries. And the woman at the till said 'enjoy your food'.

Hob: And you said?
 Dream: "My thanks. you as well."

Hob: My poor love. Have a kiss to ease the sting.

Dream: [accepting the forehead kiss as his due] I can't go back to that grocery store in this lifetime.

Hob: Understandable.

Dream: Can we fake our deaths tomorrow?

Hob: Give me two weeks to wrap everything up, then we can.

Dream: <3

[turtleblogatlast]

The fact that Leo can go literally anywhere on earth to be alone with his thoughts at a single moment’s notice is something that shakes around in my head all the time. Like, portals and teleportation are amazing and convenient abilities both in and out of battle, but they could also so easily be used to run away as well.

I don’t think Leo ever would, at least not most of the time. He loves his family too much, and is too dependent on their love and attention to cut himself off so suddenly like that, but it’s a very real possibility nonetheless.

It’s a good thing Leo’s overall temper is more on the mild side and he prefers going to his room or something to complete solitude, because it really is dangerous for a kid to have the ability to isolate themselves like that at their fingertips.