#he's gonna get gayer and stupider just u wait

[cdrwstorm]

time to make the gayest tf oc ever

his name is sweetspark and he's an ex decepticon AND an ex autobot who decided fighting for cybertron was lame and currently traverses the universe in a lil ship (maybe w a friend?). he likes music but has no real technical skills in it -- but he's a rly good singer! he pilots ships well too. he's bright pinkish purple w blue accents + silver biolights. he's super dreamy and drifty and spends days at a time sitting in front of his window watching the stars go by. he has a big ol' heart w carnival-esque lights that surround it + they light up and beep when he's real happy. he's decided his #1 goal in life is to spread love across the stars via his singing. he's so stupid, and he falls in love w everyone he meets, and he would have 1 million friends if he wasn't always travelling.

[literaphobe]

season 2 of she-ra rated by catradora content

the frozen forest: “aw, cute, you can turn your sword into stuff.” very interesting how adora has to literally train not by fighting any real soldiers in the horde just... catra. light hope scanned her brain and knew she wouldn’t bother to run after anyone else :/ which. is true. call her out!! she fights bots too but she has more or less no issues with them even though she’s no expert with turning her sword into stuff yet, but then catra comes out, and suddenly adora can’t even block a single punch because catra laughed at her :( AND suddenly her sword can’t turn into anything but a cup. why adora? are you thirsty? it’s even funnier because none of this is real, and adora KNOWS that none of this is real, but she’s still Affected when fake catra says her seductive “hey adora” and she decides oh i know! i’ll turn my sword into a d*ldo with holes! oh wait never mind, is that a flute? damn it now she wants to Serenade catra. that’s even gayer than wanting to have sex with her. “did you mean to do that? because if you did it’s a terrible weapon.” “is not! >:(“ adora’s comebacks are like. kindergarten quality shit. i would make fun of catra’s insult too but in her defense that’s not actually catra. so adora tries to hit fake catra with her musical instrument and it doesn’t really work so she tackles fake catra and pins her to the ground. and looks,,, low key aroused as she does it okay adora.... she’s not real please remember that.... ur already a furry please don’t also be a bot fucker “what are you waiting for? you gonna play me a song on that thing?” yes she WAS catra! that’s what i’ve been SAYING don’t be mean to your girlfriend when she’s trying to serenade you :( adora gets angry after this latest act of oppression so she raises her hand, about to hit fake catra, but she stops right before the weapon can make contact, and her face softens. “i knew you couldn’t do it.” fake catra fades and the audience finds out something adora already knew. none of this was real, and even if she had hit fake catra and killed her, real catra would be fine. And Yet,,,,, big fucking sigh bros. haha y’all ever so hung up on a chick that you can’t even kill a fake simulation of her? even though she’s your enemy? lmaoooooo anyway the training simulation ends and adora is so depressed she transforms out of her she-ra form and asks “did you have to make her so mean? :(“ even tho light hope is about to come out and yell gay slurs at her. light hope shows up and is very confused. is catra... not mean? was my catra ooc miss adora? :/ did this catra hit different? too hostile? not like what ur used to? :/ go to hell adora if you made catra into a sim and picked her defining trait it WOULD be MEAN god everyone’s a critic. and then adora is like ok ur right :( catra is mean.... but have you considered making your simulation’s fake catra one that will hold me gently in her arms? have you considered that maybe i don’t want to fight her and that i want to kiss her instead? god damn it light hope you bitch. you fucking homophobe.

light hope is like okay cool. this latest performance was ur worst one btw and adora is like why do you THINK and is like i wanna be the very best :( like no one ever was :( and protecc etheria :( “but catra, she’s just in my head” ;) oh yeah i bet she is adora JFJSJDJSJD “when you grow up with someone, they know how to push your buttons :(” that’s very true adora. but you also grew up with many people such as lonnie, rogelio, and kyle. and you don’t seem to give a shit about them :/ so i guess “grow up with someone” really means “be in love” huh. i love you but do NOT lie to me ever again. after this, we see the real catra :’) she’s back at the horde training kyle, lonnie, and rogelio. “she-ra is too strong to defeat with force alone. but she’s slow and easily manipulated.” yeah maybe for you! maybe she slows down when she fights you because ur pretty and ur voice is sexy! way to flex ur privilege :( not everyone can manipulate she-ra because she’s not in love with all of them ok :( just u :( later on, we’re back at the war meeting in bright moon. bow says “we’re defeating the bots, but more keep coming. while we’re using our resources to hold our borders, the horde hasn’t had to deploy a single soldier.” hey! that’s a perfectly normal statement right! one that does not mention any specific person. there should be no reason for anyone to respond to this by bringing up any individual. guess what adora says. guess what she fucking says. i’m so fucking done oh my god. “typical catra >:(“ did... did bow MENTION catfkakdjsjdjsjs????? i’m fucking WHEEZING. adora. baby. could u. like. chill out? :/ re catra? for like one second? no? okay guess i’ll have to live with it. adora is so hung up over the “hey adora ;)” she heard from fake catra during training that she has to repay the favor when she fights entrapta’s upgraded bots. adora looks into the camera of one of the bots and just. she just KNOWS catra is watching and she’s correct. and she’s like “hey catra ;)” before punching the camera and cutting the live stream. catra’s response isn’t to immediately ditch the horde and go kiss adora (booooooo) but to. try and explode she-ra using one of the other bots. okay. i guess we all cope with arousal in different ways :/ when the bot explodes and adora realizes her attempt at seduction did not work out the way she intended (press f to pay respects), she gets all “>:( catra” which is very cute and iconic of her. and it’s apparently her way of coping with the situation so i’ll just let her be! 9/10

ties that bind: fuck you swift wind. what the FUCK. i can’t believe adora had to go on some stupid quest with the horse all because she would be fiFTy sEVeN pERcenT mOrE eFFeCtivE with him. who gives a shit. catra getting kidnapped and tied up is clearly the superior plot here and adora wasn’t there for it?? which, i know is the whole point, but also, why did they have to put her with the horse. would’ve rather seen adora with literally any of the princesses instead. haha jk. but also, am i? it is important that adora gets over her hatred of swift wind and bonds with him. but also, is it? sigh, let’s get on with the show. bow and glimmer set out to go bring back entrapta. “let’s go get adora!” bow baby. u r so woke. i love that attitude. yes y’all should’ve absolutely brought adora along. no she was not doing anything important. “adora’s training!!!!” glimmer baby i love u but why :( why would u do this :( anyway, bow and glimmer get tricked into thinking the horde is torturing entrapta so they (accidentally) kidnap catra. bow is an absolute sweetheart who just. is sweet to everyone so he tries bonding w catra and is like “come on, i bet even the horde has friends. what about adora? :3 you two grew up together. what was she like as a kid? :3” because adora is bow’s best friend and he wants to know more about her <3 best boy <3 and catra just hisses at him because if she spoke she would probably say. adora was everything to me. adora made me laugh, she played with me, she took care of me, she protected me even when everyone else looked the other way. just seeing her would put a smile on my face. she held my hand. she hugged me. she was my shoulder to cry on. adora was the only good thing in my life at the horde. i have been in love with her my entire life. and now she’s she-ra. anyway. catra decides to annoy glimmer into letting her go, and glimmer gets so frustrated that she says “how did adora take years of this? she didn’t run away from the horde. she ran away from YOU” which. is about the most horrifying thing you could say to catra since she like. really believes that. and adora’s not even there to defend herself :( and say shit like. Well It Helped That I Was In Love With Catra And That Every Moment We Spent Together Was Filled With Laughter And Joy Because No One Else Has Ever Made Me This Happy Even When We Were Stuck Together In The Worst Place On Etheria—stuff like that u know? :/ anyway catra is like :’( —> >:’( “adora’s gonna dump u one day too glimmer!!” + “you and adora are perfect for each other, i’ll give you that. earnest, naive, ridiculously easy to manipulate. it’s adorable!” wow catra. u think…… adora…. is…. adorable? wow…. :’) djdjdjdjdjdj but yeah. she really said my gf is cute! my gf is earnest! and that’s pretty much it on the catradora front. notice how i didn’t say a word about the horse plot. yeah. :) i mean i physically couldn’t because this is a catradora based evaluation post. but ya. u get the point. 7/10

signals: huh! nothing! except when glimmer says “catra was right!” and adora’s face is like... u kno. u know how she gets when catra is suddenly brought up. 2/10 but the whole ghosts thing is cute. adora believing and wholeheartedly being scared of ghosts makes me think... catradora buzzfeed unsolved AU

roll with it: the absolute RIGHTS of this episode. adora planning obsessively because “you’re not taking the biggest variable into account :( catra </3 she’s been behind every horde plan, she led the attack on bright moon, she’s devious, she’s very cute—“ and everyone is like omg adora calm down,,,, okay fine we’ll fantasize about ur gf. so everyone is all: this is my catra headcanon <3 glimmer is like. catra is a sexy femme fatale. bow is like. catra and i would make so many sick fucking puns. and adora is like :( y’all are all headcanoning catra WRONG :( she’s sexy and funny and cute the Way She Is :( why mess with the original recipe? :( except she’s wrong because season 4 and 5 will exist one day. but she is not wrong because season 1-3 catra is also very good. adora u do u. have fun laughing at everyone’s interpretations of ur gf. go ahead and brag about how uve been in love w her ur entire life. adora is like. all ur plans suck. obviously catra would block or duck or jump up really high or look really cute or smile and dazzle u with her charms. how DARE you underestimate my enemy gf. and then everyone devolves into their cool plans again and adora is like CATRA CATRA CATRA >:( so everyone is like ok fine we are going 2 bully her. and we get this epic scene where they do impressions of catra, but it is visualized like: different versions of catra keep flanking adora, and she in that scene is clearly very seriously considering having a fourway with femme fatale catra, prom catra, and punny og catra. but in like uh.... a cool platonic way. anyway, everyone is like. hey adora. we know ur paranoid and obsessed with ur gf. but can we just attack the horde now? could you chill the fuck out? and adora is like. u wanna know the worst that could happen? fine. “i’m the heaviest hitter, so catra will separate me right away. trap me, take my sword, do Something so i’m helpless when she turns on you. she knows Everything about me, EXACTLY what i’ll do, EXACTLY how to take me out. they’ll overwhelm frosta and mermista with bots, they’ll fire on perfuma, and use her to draw bow out into the open, pinning him between the bots and the horde soldiers. glimmer will teleport in to save him, but she won’t have enough magic left to get out, trapping them both. catra will make me watch all of it before she Finishes Me Off.” which..... weirdly kinky, but okay, and also weirdly sweet if u think about it? like catra grew up thinking she was never as good as adora but adora even with her new she-ra powers now is convinced that catra is so good that she can predict and counter and overpower anything adora throws at her, even with her super-powered friends and allies <3 and she...... lets it paralyze her with fear and blames herself for anything that could possibly go wrong which is really sad and not good :( but stuff can be two things! and. we’re kind of trying to be gay here so let’s continue on the gay train <3 the princess alliance realizes that adora has major issues and give her love and support so adora is like oh nice!!! time to run in without a plan and stay true to my brute strength colors <3 and she’s so excited to see her gf..... only to find out, her gf isn’t there?????? the fuck???? she spent hours planning their fight date only to get stood the fuck up??????? she’s so distraught over it as she fights scorpia she goes through the five stages of grief. she’s like... catra’s really not here?? and she left you in charge???? and babe i get that ur jealous and upset that ur gf didn’t show up but hey :( don’t hate crime scorpia like that :( 8/10

white out: adora is upset that she hasn’t seen her enemy gf in a while so when the squad finds out that the horde is doing stuff in the north(?) adora decides that they must immediately go there in case the horde (catra) is doing stuff that she must stop the horde (catra) from doing immediately. and it works! they bump into the super pal trio! but before that, we see entrapta show catra the red disk that makes she-ra go RAGE and adora go floop. it’s basically a Make Adora Delirious/Drunk Crystal <3 catra gets an evil hate boner when she hears that the disk “takes away she-ra’s powers” and is like damn entrapta ;) why didn’t you tell me about that sooner ;) later on, the best friend squad bumps into the super pal trio! adora sees catra and is like. hey remember last episode? what the fuck was that babe. step the FUCK up. run away with me? <3 but here’s a more literal break down of what really happened: catra is threatening entrapta as she... tends to do when she’s interrupted by adora who says “catra! >:(“ completely ignoring that there are other people there who she should also greet. i mean it’s just manners u know? “it’s been a while.” is not an excuse. u haven’t seen entrapta either for an even longer time. and u had nothing to say to her? i get that ur gay and in love but have some respect okay :( catra is happy and decides it’s time to seduce her. we get yet another “heyyy adora ;)” for the books. adora starts to ignore everyone present again and banters pettily with catra about how catra lost the battle of bright moon, because you know :( she hasn’t seen her gf in a while :( and she didn’t get to rub things like that in her face :( and catra is like haha lmaooooo loserrrrr and it really pisses adora off so she’s like okay down to business then! go away >:( and catra’s like oh u want me to go away? make me ;) and so they literally. run away from everyone else. i’m not making this shit up they literally said those things and just ditched the group. and both groups, who have not said a fucking word to each other since this confrontation began because the lesbians are so fucking loud and clearly everything they discuss is personal and not an invitation for group convo, they’re all left there to be like..... i guess we should fight each other now? and scorpia is like UGHHH goddamn it. and u really feel for her u know? :/ u try and u try to ask a girl out and she’s so stupid she doesn’t know ur asking her out on a date, but her stupid ex walks in and all she has to do is run and catra runs in front of her ready to go on a date. what the fuck. anyway, catra and adora are also fighting. adora’s better at transforming her sword into stuff now so she summons a rope (ok kinkster) to grab catra’s leg and pull her towards her and she threatens catra with her sword, saying “don’t move.” catra’s response? “oh, please. you’d never have the guts.” and god damn it catra it’s not that she doesn’t have the guts! :( it’s that she loves you and doesn’t want to hurt you! and also she’s not into necrophilia! catra continues with “you know, as much as i love our fights, it’s way too cold for this.” i hate them so fucking much. they really do get off on this shit!!! i hate them but also mood!!!! stop flirting with each other ur both so goddamn annoying omg. “why don’t we try something new? ;)” yeah. something new like hmm what if y’all kissed? haha, just a suggestion! but no, catra decides to use the red crystal thingy :( haha SIKE i’m not :( at all i’m very much :) because we’ve been WAITING for drunk adora. i love that delirious baby. what a fucking cutie. but because she-ra’s sword is the one who gets poisoned, she-ra goes all angry and evil and catra is like that’s hot! but it’s not what i signed up for but also... oh lmao she’s fighting her friends? nice. this is hot again. complacently, catra goes “this is the greatest thing that’s ever happened!” causing evil!she-ra to realize she exists and trying to kill catra for real, and catra is like NEVER MIND I DID NOT SIGN UP FOR THIS and she’s like “adora wait :(“ which is like. babe no :( babe u were supposed to turn evil in a sexy way :( we could be sexy and evil together baby :( babe :( thankfully for catra adora’s not the only one who has a crush on her so scorpia tackles she-ra, separating her from her sword, and she goes back to adora. catra gets the sword, laughs, and says “that went so much better than i could’ve ever hoped.” did it?????? ur so stupid ur gf was about to murder u and u were ready to simp for ur life. then she goes “looks like you’re mine now, adora. >;)” and like. lifts adora’s face up by the chin with the tail end of the sword. and. let me just take a deep breath here. uh. What The Fuck Is That. HELLO?????? why is that. okay. HHHHHH. why!!!! good god!!!!! i hate sexual tension. anyway, catra tells scorpia to carry adora inside bc adora’s not wearing enough layers and she doesn’t want her gf to get cold :( jk but uh, they get adora inside, and catra is once again obsessed with her. she sits right next to her and pines like “always so perfect.... look at you now.... (i HATE how sexual this sounds) you’re coming back to the horde under my command.....” like. COME ON. why is she like this. ur allowed to be evil but i draw the LINE at u flirting with adora she’s not even AWAKE. and scorpia is like. could u. could u not be obsessed w adora for one second? it’s kinda harshing my vibe :/ and catra is like hehe she ra go >:( haha funney. we can turn the rebellion’s own hero against them. That’s Good™ i wonder which of your friends i’ll have you annihilate first... and then she giggles to herself and it’s so cute but babe. once again. stop flirting with adora while she’s out cold she won’t be able to flirt back :( and then the most. upsetting part of the ep happens. catra LEAVES and makes scorpia watch over adora before adora even wakes up so we don’t get! to see! catra with drunk/delirious adora!!!!!! what the FUCK. what is the POINT. i am DISTRAUGHT. hello?????? why were we robbed. whatever. it’s still good but come on not even one scene? :( scorpia is annoyed as she should be and is like UGH just wanted to be alone with catra but nooooo im stuck babysitting her “”””””ex-best friend””””””” which we all know is code for just. ex. LMAO fkdkdkdk like this isn’t even reaching we BEEN knew. anyway adora is being. so cute. so goddamn cute i am in love. adora barely even remembers her name but when scorpia is like hm what’s the passcode to the lab? adora goes BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP and puts in catra’s super long fave number. that is so fucking cute that she knows and remembers that and thinks that catra would use it even tho she’s not even. in the right state of mind. and scorpia gets jealous obviously like ohhhh u know catra’s favorite number and i don’t! u grew up with catra and she’s been in love with you her whole life and i don’t have that! fuck u adora. even when u and catra are fighting each other tryna kill each other u can tell there’s a real bond there :( and like scorpia I’m so sorry baby I know :( they’re in love and it’s very annoying :( and i know adora is very annoying but have you also considered that she is very cute? that she is so lovely? and yeah that’s why catra is in love with her and shit :( seahawk and scorpia fight over adora and adora is like. hehe. catra mean <3 she’s so mean <3 and so hot and cute and sexy <3 omg im gonna marry her hehehehe <3 both sides reconvene to fight the bug, and adora finds glimmer vaguely familiar but doesn’t recognize who she is exactly. but she’ll remember catra’s long ass fave number. ok whore. catra, who’s also stupid, sees adora and is like guess I’ll drop all other priorities to get her! and tells scorpia to find the sword because she’s going after adora again. she’s so determined to keep adora that she.... catches a moving arrow. and throws it away. fjdjdjdjddj DAMN ok sheer gay determination is THAT strong huh. but it’s also sad because catra’s so busy fighting she doesn’t get to see adora being super cute :( it’s fucking wasted and not FAIR. catra thinks it’s funny that anyone would expect her to willingly give the disk up, because she’s got control of adora now, and control of adora means that adora won’t leave her.... which is not healthy :( but also HHHHHH but also it’s okay because their relationship gets healthy in the future and that’s very sexy of them <3 the disk is broken by scorpia in the end, and as adora regains.... conscious???ness????? idk??? her sense of reality??? sobers up???? anyway she and catra exchange this one last very heavy look, right before catra is grabbed by scorpia 9/10, except i want to take away so many points because of the wasted potential, but also i wanna add back so many points because of “looks like you’re mine now, adora ;)”

light spinner: ewwww shadow weaver ewwwww hordak i’m so sorry catra baby so sorry u had to interact with them instead of adora :( 0/10 </3

reunion: I AM SO SORRY. I AM SO FUCKING SORRY. THIS EP IS SO GOOD. BUT. I CANNOT BELIEVE I HAVE TO SAY THIS. THIS IS ONLY BECAUSE THIS IS A CATRADORA EVALUATION OK. therefore the rating is.... is..... :( 0/10 :( i know i am distraught too. :( despite what a masterpiece it was... there was no catradora :(

[corvusthecryptid]

so i uh. went a little bit feral considering that “what if deceit were katherine” thing from my tags. under the “read more” is my fucking insane rant/rambling about the au ideas. i might GENUINELY turn this into an au at some point so if you want to read it and be surprised by who takes up what role, do not read on, this will spoil it for you.

synopsis: vampire diaries but deceit is katherine, thus making other sides into other petrova doppelgangers.

rant:

WAIT ACTUALLY IT FITS SO WELL

deceit pretends to be people on a few occasions. katherine does this MULTIPLE times, pretending to be elena. THEY ARE LITERALLY BOTH FIRST SEEN ONSCREEN PRETENDING TO BE SOMEONE WHO LOOKS JUST LIKE THEM.

okay. okay. i feel like this leads to patton being elena which is. sorta fitting, personality wise? logan could work as elena since deceit pretended to be him too, but it wasnt like. how we were introduced to deceit.

then comes the question of whether the sides should fill, like, all the main roles. if so, then roman and remus could be stefan and damon respectively because brothers, logan could be alaric because teacher man, and virgil could be jeremy since he was all edgy in season 1 then developed as a character and got better about it.

ALTERNATIVELY, to keep the whole “same face” thing, we could say that the sides can only be petrova doppelgangers. in which case we see less of some of them. deceit would be katherine still, obviously, and patton would still be elena.

but who is gonna be amara? the answer: roman. it fits so well. fell super hard for someone to the point of being willing to do anything to be with that person, ended up getting majorly hurt by it (for amara this is silas, for roman this is unnamed boyfriend from the moving on episodes). i feel like this fits.

then i feel like logan could fit tatia VERY well. because tatia’s backstory (before she meets klaus and elijah) is that she had a husband and a son, and her husband died. she was expected to throw herself onto his funeral pyre because thats what wives did back then when their viking husbands died. but she decided not to because she was like “uhhh thats fucking stupid. im going to move instead, and make a new life for myself.” and then she did! which is a very logan move in my opinion, just being like “fuck what society tells me to do, im going to do what makes sense for me.”

this leaves remus and virgil who. i genuinely dont know what to do with them. like there’s. there’s only four canon doppelgangers i dont know what to do with them-

now, you’re probably wondering: “jay, if the sides won’t replace the rest of the main cast, who will?”

and the answer to this is simple: the same main cast from the original series except a loy gayer. damon and stefan are still the love interests, they just fell in love with deceit and later patton. klaus and elijah were very gay for logan when he was around, and later realized deceit was cute as heck too. as the saying goes: “could be gayer!” so we’re making it gayer.

thank u for coming to my ted talk.

[lovelyirony]

Idk anything happy or fluffy with tony

okay fam u got it 

Every single time Tony got coffee from Stars and Stripes, there was a barista with a murder face.  Now this wasn’t a bad thing: Pepper had the same type of thing going on, but it was usually at night because she was a Morning Person. 

His nametag read James. He had a prosthetic, an apron that had chocolate syrup on it at all times and a pin that read “Don’t Ask Me,” and one time exited with a leather jacket on. 

Tony should not have a crush on a barista that he only sees for like ten minutes.

But he does. Because one time, James smiled, and It Was All Shit From There. 

Rhodey laughs at him when they’re at the drive-thru, blasting AC/DC, and Tony turns it down to order his signature black coffee with two sugars. It’s ninety degrees outside, Rhodey ordered a cup that was “mostly ice, a little bit of coffee,” and James knows him. 

“This is Tony, isn’t it?” 

Tony yelps, says yes, and nearly drives on grass to avoid being seen.  

“You lameass bi.” 

“Shut up, Rhodey.” He just laughs, because Rhodey is the Worst. 

James gets their orders, Tony gives him the customary three dollar tip, and is still blasting AC/DC. “I like the music.” 

James decides that his Stupid Crush on a customer named Tony gets progressively worse in fall. It turns cold, everyone wants nasty pumpkin things, and Tony wears sweaters. 

This is a bad move, because Tony looks insanely good in sweaters. Some taper his body, showing off an impressive physique. Some are oversized and Tony is sleepy and shit. 

But then it happens. 

He comes in wearing a leather jacket, and damn if Bucky doesn’t have a thing for leather jackets. Especially with Tony, who has the windswept hair, a slightly tired look, and hands that are covered in ink. 

“I have not gotten sleep in two days, I’m about to make it three out of spite,” Tony says with a yawn. “Coffee with three shots of espresso, pretty please James?” He snorts, only doing one. 

“You’re gonna need sleep at some point, Tones.” They both freeze a little. 

And then the Best/Worst thing happens. 

They get invited to the same wedding. 

Usually, Tony would a.) hide in the building and wait it out, or b.) literally just drive away and go forge a new identity somewhere in Europe. But, as the case may be, he knows that the bride, Nat, would murder him if he left her wedding without saying goodbye, making a new identity, and not even send her and Maria a postcard. 

Also, James is in the wedding party. He’s the Maid of Honor on Natasha’s side. 

“Oh god, it’s Coffee Boy,” Rhodey says. “This wedding just got a lot better and a lot gayer. This is excellent.” 

“Rhodey do you just thrive off my drama?” 

“Yes, it’s what fuels me.” 

“Remind me to sign up for yoga classes then, I want you to die.” Rhodey rolls his eyes. 

“You don’t want me to die, I’m the only one who can possibly get ID papers that pass CIA inspection.” 

“Oh, worm?” 

“You know what, I’ll die instead. Thanks for the opportunity, I’ll pay for the yoga classes.” 

James is internally panicking–thank god for his neutral face–because Tony is there in a gray suit, and he looks really good, shit–

Well, he can’t exactly have a funeral at Nat’s wedding. She would murder him at the honeymoon for a wedding gift. 

“You know someone?” Maria asks as soon as all the celebrations are done and over with for the ceremony. 

“You literally just got married and you’re trying to be nosy?.” 

“What can I say? Marriage hasn’t changed me much.” 

“We’re in the first five minutes, babe,” Nat says. “Also I want to repaint our house. How do we feel about black?” 

“You’d attract too many emo kids, I veto.” 

“Disappointed, but should’ve known. Accepted veto.” 

“You guys are so fucking weird,” James mutters. “I’m gonna go get a drink, since you made the mistake of having an open bar with me, a local sad man, at your wedding.” Maria laughs, but the happy couple leaves them be. 

Tony saunters up the same time. Shit. 

He actually doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do in this situation. James is looking at the menu, will see him, and Tony is the Biggest Fool of the Century. 

“Surprised you didn’t hop over and make the drink yourself,” Tony says. James turns, smiles. 

“Surprised that you’re even here, if I’m bein’ completely honest.” 

“Right back at you. What you having?” 

Conversation flows. Tony talks about how he’s a mechanic/engineer, which sounds cool, and Bucky says he also works at a tattoo shop, which delights Tony. 

They talk about memes, Bucky’s friend Sam, and Rhodey, who keeps stealing rolls when no one is looking. 

By the end, Tony gets tips on better coffee, laughs, and a phone number. All in all, not a bad wedding. 

[littlelovelymemes]

✰ * º ❛ more popular text posts ask meme. ❜

‘  if i’m ever murdered i hope they make the chalk outline of my body hot  ’ ‘  i hope you end up ok  ’ ‘  i’m crying my best  ’ ‘  how fucked up would it be if an astronaut was coming back to earth and everybody hid for a bit  ’ ‘  some kid just skateboarded down my street crying  ’ ‘  do you ever get in an “i don’t know” phase in your life. where you literally don’t have a solid answer to anything. you. just. don’t. know.  ’ ‘  i guess at this point i should just consider dating myself  ’ ‘  which of the three pillars of modern music is your favourite: burnin’ up by the jonas brothers, beautiful soul by jesse mccartney, or lucky by britney spears?  ’ ‘  you know my name… and also my story cause i overshare 24/7 tbh  ’ ‘  @ all of u that hate mint ice cream: what happened  ’ ‘  there is no doubt in my mind i’m really that bitch  ’ ‘  after you hit 21, you start forgetting your age cause ain’t nothing else to look forward to, besides sweet death  ’ ‘  why am i not currently in the italian countryside with a fruit plate wearing a light linen dress? unacceptable  ’ ‘  hands are weird because one of them can do absolutely everything without a problem and the other one can’t even hold a spoon  ’ ‘  remember to drink a fucking shit ton of water every miserable day of ur life  ’ ‘  what the fuck is a good day  ’ ‘  sleeping pattern: ??¿?¿??¿¿¿?¿  ’ ‘  is he………you know…….*makes football throwing motion*….straight?  ’ ‘  does anyone else have a resting bitch face™, but kinda enjoys looking intimidating  ’ ‘  i’m not like most girls [rips off sunglasses]… i like most girls  ’ ‘  time flies when u take a 2hr depression nap in the middle of the day  ’ ‘  roses are red, i’m going to bed  ’ ‘  u know when ur hairs greasy and it makes u feel so so so bad about urself. and ur entire life. everything is awful bc my hair is greasy  ’ ‘  i’m just so glad the word “ugh” was invented  ’ ‘  just another day of loving with all my heart and believing in the universe  ’ ‘  you know when dogs sit outside with their face turned towards the sun and their eyes closed and they look so relaxed and when you pet them they’re warm that’s how I want to feel always  ’ ‘  come into bed and listen to the rain with me  ’ ‘  i hope all my girls out here r safe n being loved  ’ ‘  people are so petty and then here i am, me, an angel,   ’ ‘  i want to have angel wings and be kinder, braver and more tender  ’ ‘  concept: a really nice italian restaurant but it’s spelled “spagooter” on the menu and the waiters won’t take your order unless you pronounce it like that  ’ ‘  i want kids but i’m scared they’ll blame me if they’re ugly  ’ ‘  does anyone have any tips for not thinking about it  ’ ‘  “what’s a queen without her king?” well, historically, better  ’ ‘  i want something that doesn’t taste like alcohol but has a lot of alcohol in it  ’ ‘  i’m alive out of spite  ’ ‘  the beatles wouldn’t even fucking exist if big time rush hadn’t paved the path for them so shut the fuck up  ’ ‘  a bad person? who, me? that would be correct,  ’ ‘  you hate me? wow u think ur hot shit and original huh well i hated me first so u can go grab a number and wait ur turn  ’ ‘  my heart does a little “!” when I see you  ’ ‘  i just want to say from the bottom of my heart i didn’t sign up for this shit  ’ ‘  i deadass lost interest in everything. im just cruising on autopilot rn  ’ ‘  still got love for some people i know i’ll never talk to again.  ’ ‘  my mitochondria clearly aren’t working because this bitch has NO FUCKING ENERGY  ’ ‘  y’all i get attached to people so quickly wth  ’ ‘  i wonder how many strangers hate me bc of how someone else described me to them  ’ ‘  for the 80th year in a row, the song of the summer is Everytime We Touch by Cascada  ’ ‘  it’s weird to think that people who are 5 ft are only 5 subways long ’ ‘  in alcohol’s defense i’ve done some pretty dumb shit while completely sober too  ’ ‘  man this has been the worst life of my life  ’ ‘  having “feelings” is ruining my reputation of being a heartless bitch  ’ ‘  I Have To Be Dramatic. I Have To  ’ ‘  forgive and forget?? haha no resent and remember  ’ ‘  “you’re obsessed with yourself” and you’re not??? sad. tragic  ’ ‘  are people becoming more annoying or am i becoming more angry  ’ ‘  do my dark under eye circles and unwashed hair turn you on  ’ ‘  KIDS REACT TO existentialism and the inevitability of death  ’ ‘  remember to do your best to be positive with a clear mind and believe in aliens because those motherfuckers are real  ’ ‘  personality: I DON’T GIVE A FUCK  ’ ‘  my gender is “pretty boy”  ’ ‘  what others call a rebellious phase i call the sudden realization i don’t deserve to be treated like garbage  ’ ‘  what is a sex drive? where is the sex going? does it even have a license?  ’ ‘  i don’t want to look “pretty” i want to look otherworldly and vaguely threatening  ’ ‘  i’m not interested in being polite or heterosexual  ’ ‘  do re me fa so done with you  ’ ‘  ctrl alt delete feelings cause i can’t do this shit no more  ’ ‘  i may seem like an asshole, but deep down i’m a good person and even deeper down i’m a bigger asshole  ’ ‘  should i go back to school tomorrow or should i fling myself into the ocean  ’ ‘  am i too judgemental or is everyone annoying: an autobiography by me  ’ ‘  are we gonna fuckn hold hands tonight or what bitch  ’ ‘  i love drunk me but i don’t trust her  ’ ‘  has anyones crush ever actually worked out for them or is that a myth?  ’ ‘  i say “fight me” a lot for a girl who is 5′3″ and has a hard time opening some doors because they’re too heavy  ’ ‘  if i had a dollar for every time someone called me ugly i’d have 0 dollars bitch u thought lmao  ’ ‘  my last words will probably be sarcastic  ’ ‘  i used to be a straight a student. now i’m not even straight  ’ ‘  ever wonder how different your life would be if that one thing never happened  ’ ‘  single and ready to find aliens  ’ ‘  it’s very important that i am both cute and powerful  ’ ‘  i want to make friends but at the same time no  ’ ‘  there’s a special place in hell reserved just for me, it’s called the throne  ’ ‘  hi i’m here to ruin everything  ’ ‘  i’m glad dogs can’t read the ‘no dogs allowed’ signs so they don’t feel sad and feel left out  ’ ‘  we’re all better and gayer people than we used to be  ’ ‘  every time i speak i am reminded why i should not  ’ ‘  every machine is a smoke machine if you operate it wrong enough  ’ ‘  i don’t know what i’m feeling but there is a lot of it  ’ ‘  the rumors are true: i’m soft and i just want to be loved  ’ ‘  i’m like a hexagon: all my hecks r gone  ’ ‘  we all know that one person you get sexually frustrated just looking at  ’ ‘  i wonder what it feels like to know what the fuck is going on  ’ ‘  my kink: not having to set an alarm for the next morning  ’ ‘  on the bright side, at least i am not addicted to cocaine  ’ ‘  they called me stupid?? well joke’s on them i don’t even know what that means  ’ ‘  i might get a lot of shit for saying this but i think it’s fun to enjoy things  ’ ‘  i’m the nicest, sweetest, most rage-filled person i know  ’ ‘  assert your dominance by calling your friends by their student id number  ’ ‘  there she goes again, being over dramatic and by she, i mean me  ’ ‘  if u don’t know how to respond to something just say ‘how dare you’  ’ ‘  um that’s u’re* not ur  ’ ‘  i wonder what it feels like to know what the fuck is going on  ’ ‘  so sick of looking at my purse and not seeing $20,000  ’ ‘  literally want to be rich for the clothes  ’ ‘  me??? upset???? yes constantly  ’ ‘  a good gender neutral term to use is ‘fool’  ’ ‘  today’s schedule: suffer  ’ ‘  my middle name is actually $$  ’ ‘  don’t u hate it when u wake up and ur awake  ’ ‘  i want someone who will light a fire in me  ’ ‘  i want someone who will light me on fire  ’ ‘  i’m too cute for 90% of the shit i go thru  ’ ‘  who needs therapy when you can Realize™ things about yourself alone at 1 am  ’ ‘  why is there so much blood in my alcohol system  ’ ‘  no offense but i am a blessing to this earth  ’ ‘  haha oops i care about you  ’ ‘  they call me calcium because i give everyone strong bones  ’ ‘  do you have that one person that you can’t look at when you’re trying to be mad at them because they’re so cute??  ’ ‘  hi i’m here to ruin everything  ’ ‘  one day i’m gonna say ‘fight me!’ and someone’s just gonna fuckin deck me  ’ ‘  me? a jealous hoe? absolutely  ’ ‘  it’s raining but it’s not men so what’s the point  ’ ‘  i think i may be gayer than i originally planned  ’ ‘  i can’t hang out tomorrow i’m too busy doing nothing alone sorry  ’ ‘  me? overreacting? shit probably  ’ ‘  i would like to publicly announce that i have no idea what i’m doing  ’ ‘  is there a scholarship for trying  ’ ‘  me?? using sarcasm as a defense mechanism??????? what?????  ’ ‘  i don’t know what i’m feeling but there is a lot of it  ’ ‘  i require a lot of attention or you get a lot of attitude  ’ ‘  “what the fuck” is an emotion now and it’s the only one i have  ’ ‘  you’re important to me, you piece of shit  ’

[johntenismyotp]

92  statements tag

thanks for tagging me @shy113 <333

RULES: YOU MUST ANSWER THESE 92 STATEMENTS AND TAG 20 PEOPLE

LAST

1. Drink: coke

2. Phone call: my mom

3. Text message: from @oddjjong in the network group chat, he said “ooOoOoo”

4. Song you listened to: I think it  was “Impossible” by James Arthur (radio was playing)

5. Time you cried: I cry so often cuz life is shit and kpop makes me emotional...bUT the last time was like 20 minutes ago bc I heard Johnny singing

6. Dated someone twice: ...no? but I dated someone for two months eyyy

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: nope, this hoe loves kisses (they’re cute, okay?)

8. Been cheated on: not that I know

9. Lost someone special: kinda, but I think if I should ever text him, he’d be there for me...aaand my kindergarten best friend TT

10. Been depressed: oh boy yes that’s why I’m so extra and use humor as defense

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: nope

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

black, blue, purple

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: hell yes, all of them are tumblr friends

16. Fallen out of love: kinda?

17. Laughed until you cried: yesss

18. Found out someone was talking about you: not really

19. Met someone who changed you: I guess @thenctscenarios made me gayer and softer lol

20. Found out who your friends are: I think so

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: I don’t use Facebook so no

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: I DONT USE FACEBOOK

23. Do you have any pets: no nut I really wanna have a dog

24. Do you want to change your name: I don’t know yet

25. What did you do for your last Birthday: dinner with my best friend, we ate sushi and ended up paying 80 bucks lmao

26. What time did you wake up: first at 7:40 and then at 10:30

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: I think I was blogging on tumblr

28. Name something you can’t wait for: summer break

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: a minute ago

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: my problems (especially with my family), grades and that lgbtqiap is accepted by everyone and freedom

31. What are you listening right now: nothing wtf am I doing I’m always listening to music

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: I don’t think so

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: parents, homophobes, politics and my procrastination problem

34. Most visited Website: tumblr

35. Elementary: done

36. High School: I’m almost in 10th grade so three years left

37. College: in three years

38. Hair color: bright and dark brown with a bit blonde

39. Long or short hair: short but I had long hair almost all my life

40. Do you have a crush on someone: lowkey

41. What do you like about yourself: uhm...I like most of my personality and how passionate I am about lgbtqiap and that I always help others

42. Piercings: nope but I wanna get some

43. Bloodtype: A

44. Nickname: ...Burra, Bursa, Daddypotato

45. Relationship status: single and ready to kiss the shit out of anyone

47. Pronouns: she or they but might change in the future

48. Favorite TV Show: idk...I was obsessed with Pretty Little Liars...now I’m really into We Bare Bears and The Simpsons oh and The Big Bang Theory

49. Tattoos: I think I’ll get some when I’m older

50. Right or left: uhm what? is this about the hand I write with cuz the answer is right

51. Surgery: once in my ear cuz my stupid ass put a pen point in my ear and it stayed there for a while and skin grew with it and ewwww

52. Piercing: this question was asked already lol

53. Sport: hell no, I’m a lazy piece of shit

55. Vacation: Turkey, Germany, Italy, England and The Netherlands

56. Pair of trainers: I have three pairs of nike shoes which I love a lot

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: ohh I love sushi and like asian food and I’m a hoe for pizza and quinoa salad and chOCOLATE IS LIFE

58. Drinking: WATER!! and sometimes coke or ice tea

59. I’m about to: text

61. Waiting for: S U M M E R  B R A K E

62. Want: peace, food and hanging out with my internet friends

63. Get married: in like 10 years

64. Career: I don’t have a clue

WHICH IS BETTER

65. Hugs or kisses: AHHH I LOVE BOTH OKAY

66. Lips or eyes: probably eyes

67. Shorter or taller: doesn’t matter

68. Older or younger: doesn’t matter

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: who cares? I just want nice personality

71. Sensitive or loud: both

72. Hook up or relationship: relationship please

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

74. Kissed a stranger: yes and it was iconic lmao, might tell you about it one day oh god

75. Drank hard liquor: nope but I had Tequila in my moUTH AND DONT DRINK IT AND JUST DONT DRINK ALCOHOL OKAY?!?!

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: thank god I didn’t

77. Turned someone down: the creeps on instagram

78. Sex in the first date: nah

79. Broken someones heart: I hope not

80. Had your heart broken: yes

81. Been arrested: nope

82. Cried when someone died: yes

83. Fallen for a friend: yes

84. Yourself: what?

85. Miracles: it’s a family thing

86. Love at first sight: never happened to me

87. Santa Claus: nah

88. Kiss in the first date: no

89. Angels: exist

OTHER:

90. Current best friends name: JOSLYN MY BIGGEST SUPPORTER ISTG I LOVE MY BEST FRIEND SO MUCH AJDFKELFSJK (i’m not gonna name anyone else cuz I’m too lazy and scared I’ll forget someone)

91. Eyecolor: dark brown

92. Favorite movie: uhhh I’m trash for Pirates Of The Caribbean

I tag: @thenctscenarios @johnten-stuff @hit-here-johnten @oddjjong @the07thsense @yugyeomdream @incorrectnct @lastnamesuh @musically--addicted @allthingstenny @nc-ten @xxnctxsmrookiesxx @incorrect-nct-quotes @kristinanix00 @yutawhy @ohdaddyjohnny @hansolsdeliciousanus @tengaroo @hermione-malfoy-granger @tennytrash @sweetlyjoyfulmeee